Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"No distractions this time and you have to be careful not to blow your cover," Mark reminded Tyler.
Well, that's what their "Earth" names are. Their birthnames are impossible to write in any Earth language.
"When have I ever gotten distracted and when have I ever blown my cover?" Tyler asked, checking his clothes out in front of the half-body sized mirror in their motel room.
"Last time we came here you auditioned for American Idol!" Mark sat up on the bed to throw a pillow at his co-worker.
"The person we were studying loved American Idol, what better way to get to know them? Plus no one remembers American Idol. Even if everyone found out I was an alien here to examine "Earth life", no one would recall ten years later."

Tyler and Mark were from a planet unknown to humans during the time of this story (but would be named by the IAU as Xoclarvis in the next few hundred years). They visited Earth every few years to observe it. They were given subjects that were randomly chosen to study each visit.
Mark and Tyler had been assigned to study North America and were currently in Ohio. Mark's first subject was Jenna Joseph. She was a college student in her first year. She was studying law.
Tyler's first subject was Josh Dun. He was a few years older than Mark's assignment. He was a highschool graduate and was currently trying to make it as a drummer.
They weren't given pictures of their subjects but they were given brief descriptions. Jenna was described as white, blonde with blue eyes and around 5"8. Josh was described as white, brunette (but more than likely has it as an unnatural colour), brown eyes and around 5"9.

"Hurry up," Mark told Tyler who was messing around with his hair. "You have to move in to your new apartment and Jenna's class starts soon."
Tyler gave himself one more quick look over before listening to Mark and collecting his stuff into a bag and following his partner to his temporary car.

Tyler enjoyed human music. He couldn't wait to play the radio when he got into Mark's car. He loved rap, alternative, electrical music. He loved it all. Except country, of course.
He noticed the styles had changed since they had last been to Earth but he still loved it regardless. He silently planned to find out about any cheap concerts that were on soon once he got to his apartment.

"I'll call you later on," Mark told Tyler through the open window after Tyler had closed the door.
"Are you not staying in the apartment with me?" Tyler shielded his eyes from the afternoon sun.
"Nah, you know boss wants us to stay away from each other's subjects so we don't hinder the other's productivity."
Tyler pouted and mumbled a "Yeah, whatever."
"Good luck," Mark wished Tyler before driving out of the car park.

Tyler found his apartment and opened it using the key his boss gave him.
His furniture which his boss chose included the bare minimum - a beaten up sofa, a small coffee table and an old TV (that Tyler would later find out only has four stations). His kitchen had an oven and a microwave. His bedroom had just a bed.
It was livable.

He dropped his bag by the door and ran his hands over his face. Time to meet his subject.
He made his way back into the corridor and walked about a metre and a half to the left of his door. He knocked and waited.
He didn't know what he expected, but he was grateful for what he received.
If Tyler had to choose a word to describe Josh he would probably use "bright". Tyler had been face to face with this galaxy's sun and hadn't found it as lively or happy as the creature in front of him.
Josh's hair was indeed an unnatural shade of green. It whisped into curls on the top of his head. He had a slim yet toned build and probably weighed around one hundred and sixty pounds.

"Hey," Josh greeted Tyler after a few seconds of silence.
"Uh, hi. I'm Tyler. Your new neighbour."
"Oh, hey! I'm Josh! It's great to meet you." Josh was upbeat, he almost sounded if he was excited.
"I was going to invite some people around to my place later to get to know them but you're the only person who opened their door," Tyler lied. "You can still come over, though. If you want to, of course."
"Yeah, I'm free later on," Josh smiled softly, nodding. "I don't mind coming over around.. six o'clock?"
Tyler nodded, smiling brightly. "That's perfect."
They exchanged their "It's nice to meet you" and "Goodbye"s before Josh closed the door. Tyler had to take a second. Wow, Josh was handsome. Tyler wouldn't have found a human attractive around two hundred years ago, he actually would have been repulsed. Josh was definitely a first.

Chapter Text

Tyler had to go out to buy food. He knew the basics of a healthy human diet (boss taught him), but he knew from American television that Josh probably didn't want a serving of his five-a-day.
So here he was, standing in front of an array of cans and bottles. It was all poison to him, honestly. His species didn't eat. The absorbed some sort of solar energy from the sun. Eating wasn't dangerous, though. It was alcohol. Tyler was even cautious about getting it on his skin.

He loaded the second cheapest crate of beer into his cart (while gagging) before moving onto snacks.
He avoided peanuts and dairy for potential allergy reasons and bought a gluten free substitute coordinating with every gluten full product he bought.
Tyler wandered the aisles for a while before something caught his attention. Alcohol-free substitutes for alcohol. Of course! He would need something to drink and it would look odd if only Josh was drinking alcohol. They came in the form of a pouch that you froze and turned into slushies.

He paid for his items and loaded them into two bulky plastic bags. He held the two in one hand and the crate was cradled in his other arm. His species were a lot stronger than humans and walking home while holding everything effortlessly gained him a few looks.
-
He fit all of the bottles into the fridge (as there was nothing else in there) and all of the pouches into the freezer. He stuffed the snacks into the cupboards.

He had a few hours until Josh came over but he couldn't see why he shouldn't start his study already.
Being a shapeshifter, he could change into any living thing. He opened his balcony door a few inches before he went into his room where he shed of his clothes and shrunk down into a small, black cat. He made sure to check his reflection in the glass door before he left. The first time he turned into a cat, he forgot to change his ears from human to pointy cat ears. Mark almost killed him. He snuck out onto his balcony where he jumped onto his railing and leaped over to Josh's balcony.

The door was closed but he could see Josh on the inside. Tyler butted his head against the glass door and meowed loudly. No response. He scratched at the window and meowed a little louder. Josh turned. Tyler scratched more furiously as Josh walked towards the door. Tyler sat back, waiting for Josh to open the door. Once it was open Josh scooped Tyler into his arms.
"Hello, little guy," Josh cooed, bringing him inside. "How on Earth did you get onto my balcony?"
Tyler meowed in response, nuzzling into Josh's chest. 'How professional,' Tyler thought.
Josh took Tyler to his small kitchen which was a lot more homely than Tyler's. He set Tyler on the island in the middle of his kitchen before turning to the fridge. He spent a few seconds crouched in the fridge while Tyler got comfortable on his counter. Then he went to one of his cupboards. He came back to Tyler with a bowl which held a dribble of milk. He put it in front of Tyler and watched him as if he was expecting something. Tyler slowly got up and dipped his head into the bowl.

Josh was sweet, Tyler found. He made a small bed for Tyler and fed him and petted him.
Around five o'clock, however, Josh left the living room where Tyler had cuddled up in his new bed. Tyler let out some confused meows and followed Josh into his room where he was taking his shirt off. Josh noticed him and smiled. "Don't worry, little bub. I'm just going out for a little while. My neighbour invited me over." Tyler leaped onto Josh's neat bed. "He's sorta cute," Josh commented before stifling a laugh. "Why am I talking to a cat?"

Josh was leaving his room when Tyler zoomed past him. 'Crap,' Tyler thought. 'I have to be there when Josh comes over.'
Tyler mewled a cry to catch Josh's attention and scratched at the window. Josh followed him to the door. "Hey, little guy. Wanna go outside?" Josh asked. Tyler headbutted the window again. Josh pulled the door open and Tyler sped out. He leaped over to his own balcony and into his own apartment, turning back into his human form as he ran. He stumbled into his room and pulled his clothes on. By the time Josh knocked on the door, Tyler was pulling snacks out the cupboard and onto the counter and grabbing beers out of the fridge.
Tyler took a few seconds to check his hair in the microwave door before quickly walking to his apartment door. He smiled at the sight of the green-haired man in front of him. "Come in," Tyler stood out of the way of the door.