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What if, in another universe, I deserve you?
They have just finished a surgery. Meredith smiled under her mask to Addison. She did the same. They were dating for a few months now but they didn’t want to tell anyone from the hospital now.
“You two made a great team today. I hope Doctor Grey will continue her career in neonatal.” Her scrub nurse says. They both say ‘thank you’ politely. They haven’t talked about what Meredith will choose. But Addison never thought of her choosing neonatal. They were a good team though.
After they both scrubbed out, they changed and left work. They both went back to Addison’s hotel room. They were very much happy in their life right now.
Well then, maybe somewhere in those infinite universes is one, or several, where I deserve you. Maybe there’s a universe out there — happening now — where we end up together and when I close my eyes at night, I’m not dreaming the way a normal person would. Instead I’m seeing flashes of our lives in the multiverse. They’re not simple dreams because I miss you, right?
Meredith opened her arms while she was standing on the bow. She looked back to Addison who was smiling at her.
“Look at me, I’m Rose.” Meredith laughed. Addison put her hands on Meredith’s waist and held her tight. Addison kissed Meredith’s neck.
“You are my Meredith and I love you.” Meredith kissed her.
“And you are mine. I love you too Addison.” They kissed while standing on the bow.
In this universe, I don’t want a family, but maybe in another, I’m more of the type to settle down. Maybe there’s a universe where you hold my hand while I give birth to our daughter in a white hospital room with pink flowers and fuzzy teddy bears on the window sill.
Everywhere was pink. They didn’t think this long and thanks to their friends, or simply thanks to Mark, everything was prepared for them. It was cute and happy. They didn’t ever think they would be this much happy in their lives.
Meredith climbed up to bed with her. She kissed her temple.
“You did it!” She said with excitement.
“We are moms!” Addison answered in the same tone.
All of their friends came to their room. Mark was the one holding their baby girl. Addison knew he probably already had a fight with nurses so he could grab her. He carefully put the baby into Addison’s arms and kissed her.
“You made a beautiful family.” He said looking at them, they both smiled.
“Look at me!” Lexie said. She took their photo as a new family of 3. Everybody congratulated them and left the room. Meredith put her head on Addison’s shoulder. They couldn't take their eyes from the newborn.
“How is your hand?” Addison asked when she saw Meredith’s bandaged hand. Addison didn’t realise how she smashed Meredith's hand while giving birth. Thankfully her wife didn't hold a grudge or maybe she is waiting for her turn.
“It will be better. It was worth it.” Meredith kissed Addison.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” Their kiss was cut because of the little cry from the little girl. They laughed. “This will happen.” They both looked at her again.
“We love you too Daisy.”
Where we take family vacations and pose for dorky pictures in our neon bathing suits on the sands of a Florida beach. Where we curl up to watch a cheesy movie at the end of a long day in our big, green, suburban house once the kids have fallen asleep.
After a long week of exams, the kids were asleep. And they were very tired. Meredith came up to their room with 2 McDonald’s bags.
“I brought Big Macs.” Then she kissed her wife who was sitting on the bed.
“You are amazing.” She smiled.
“What are we watching?”
“Bride Wars, is it okay?”
“Yeah.” Addison started to movie. Meredith put their food on the bed. They started eating half cuddling and half sitting. When they were finished with the food, Addison put a blanket over them and she hugged Meredith while lying in their bed. She looked at the photo in her nightstand, it was from 7 years ago, with all of her family. She smiled at the memory then looked at the woman in her arms. She was so lucky.
Maybe there’s a universe where we are middle-aged and taking our child to college and bickering over where to put her dresser or what posters she should hang up. Where you kiss her on the forehead ‘goodbye’ and we drive home in contented, proud silence, your fingers grazing my knuckles, our wedding rings glistening. Where we both have grey hair and we laugh and smile and hug and drink lemonade on the porch.
“We are old.” Meredith said. They were sitting in front of their house in silence.
“I can’t believe we took our little one to college and we are going to be grandmothers in 2 months.” Addison looked at her wife. She put her head on Meredith’s shoulder. She fidgeted her ring.
“Being old with you was my plan. It was worth it for the fights, for the smiles, kids, rings, grey hairs, sleepless nights and all the love. Thank you for being my one and only wife.” Meredith kissed Addison.
Maybe there’s a universe where I’m the right person for you. Where I adore every nice thing you did for me without starting to resent you. A universe where you actually end up with someone who appreciates you. Where no one becomes a doormat. Where both of us can shed our baggage and curiosity and issues. A universe where we’re happy — without wondering if that happiness is some messed-up Jenga game ready to topple at the slightest quiver. A universe where we’re comfortable and sure, and we have cats.
Addison held Meredith’s hand under the table. They waited for the winning name to be announced.
“Doctor Addison Forbes Montgomery.” They kissed just like 5 years ago, Meredith's name was announced. Addison took the stage. She looked at her award, then her wife, she smiled.
“I’d like to thank my wife who has always been there for me. I’d like to thank the late Doctor Derek Shepherd and Doctor Mark Sloan. Since day 1, they believed in me. I’m sure, right now they are looking at me and smiling. Also, I’d like to thank our cat, Milo, because he gave me the idea.” She chuckled at the end. She lifted the award to the air and went back to her table.
“I’m so proud of you.” Meredith said.
Maybe there’s a universe where we fall asleep next to each other every night like spoons, like two innocent bunnies — my face buried in your neck, hugging your warmth — and we both don’t want anything or anybody else. Where we don’t want more, we just want each other.
When Addison opened their room door, she smiled at the blonde who was sleeping in their bed. It has been hours since she last saw her. Addison’s surgery took a long time. She was tired but she was finally happy to be in their home. She quickly changed into her pyjamas. She climbed into bed and hugged her wife behind. She kissed her neck and smelled her skin.
“I missed you.” Meredith murmured in her half-sleep.
“Me too.” They hugged each other like any other night.
Maybe there’s a universe where I don’t covet so much all the time and where I’m content and where I don’t wonder about picking up and moving to Japan without saying anything to anyone and where at this very juncture, I can just know I’ll always want to come home and cook dinner with you.
“Mommy, could you taste this?” Her daughter said while holding a spoon. Her daughter loved cooking and they have been making dinner since she was old enough. She tasted the dish her daughter offered.
“It’s so good. I’m sure your mama and siblings are gonna love it.”
“Thanks. Aunt Callie gave me the recipe. She said it is a Mexican dish.” She switched off the stove and sat in front of her. “You know, aunt Callie, aunt Arizona and uncle Mark is into cooking.”
“Yes.” Addison said, while cutting the lettuce for salad.
“Can I stay with them? They invited me for this weekend and I’d love to be part of their cooking team.”
“We need to ask your mama too but it’s okay for me.”
“What are you asking me?” Meredith said.
“Can I stay at Aunt Callie’s this weekend? They invited me. We are gonna try new recipes.”
“Yeah okay, no problem.” Meredith said. “What did my girls make for us today?” She asked while kissing her wife. “Hi”
“Hi.” Addison smiled.
“Would you stop for a minute?” Their daughter made a disgusted face at them.
You just found me in the wrong universe. That’s all.
Addison looked at the blonde who was talking with her intern friends. She looked happy. Her ex-husband came and said something to make her smile like the sun. Her husband kissed her neck. She jumped a little.
“Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, I am.” She kissed her husband, her best friend, her Mark. “Let’s go. Ella has a ballet show today. If we miss it, she will kill us.” They both chuckled at the comment. She loved his smile.
“You are true about that. Let’s go.” They interlaced their fingers and left the hospital together.
There had to be one universe — just this one — where we don’t end up together.
Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you.