Chapter Text
He wakes up in Miguel’s arms, the taller boy drooling on his pillow as he’s sprawled across his boyfriend's strong warm chest, luckily his dad's pretty chill about Miguel sleeping over and Carmen and Rosa don’t know they’re dating so it works really well.
Sometimes he thinks the fact that he actually has a uterus and can get pregnant doesn’t even cross Johnny’s mind, if he even knows what those things are. Honestly his dad is incredibly stupid but the fact that he cares now usually balances it out.
Still it makes it even more concerning that he’s not actually sure what Miguel and his dad told the Diaz’s about what they’re doing today, they know he has to get surgery but they don’t know what for. Honestly though, he doesn’t even have the energy to panic about that, all of his anxiety is focused on the fact that he’s having surgery for the first time in his life in less than twenty four hours.
“Miggy,” he whispers as he roughly shakes his boyfriend's shoulder “Please wake up.” He cracks a bleary eye open and groans “Robby it’s early- oh my god!” He can see the exact moment his boyfriend remembers because all the sleepiness fades away, he tenses, and his brown eyes widen comically.
“Oh my god your surgery’s today!” He repeats in shock “How’re you doing, are you okay do you need anything-“ he’s so precious and Robby can’t stop himself from dragging him into a kiss. “I’m a bit anxious but I think that’s normal, right?” Miguel softens like the sweetheart he is and kisses his cheek “Yes Robby it’s totally normal, just tell me if you start feeling worse?” He nods in response and Miguel ruffles his hair before finally dragging himself out of bed.
“I’m going to shower I think because I don’t know when I’ll feel up to it again but I was hoping you would sit in the bathroom with me so I don’t have to be alone.” Miguel quickly agrees and follows him into the bathroom, respectfully closing his eyes while he strips and gets into the shower. He chats with him about training and reads off sweet texts he’s gotten from Sam and Tory wishing Robby luck and saying they love him, it does make him feel better and by the time he’s dressed and out of the shower he’s calmed down a bit.
He’s still jittery but that’s to be expected for obvious reasons, and he’s further distracted when he walks into the kitchen to find his dad looking mournfully at a pile of what is undoubtedly the least burned food he’s ever managed to produce. With a jolt he realizes that they’re the banana chocolate chip pancakes he’s had before at Sam’s, Daniel must’ve given his dad the recipe after his dad picked him up from training one day which is a huge deal considering how protective he is of family recipes and how much the two men still dislike each other.
“You know I can’t eat anything before my surgery right?” He asks hesitantly and his dad gives him a dejected look “I forgot so I made you pancakes.” And even if it’s stupid and slightly annoying that his dad would forget something like that the fact that he’d tried to make his favorite food is way too sweet to overlook.
“Thanks dad, maybe I’ll eat them when I’m recovering.” It’s then that Miguel resurfaces from his room with wet hair and a fresh hoodie on, he usually has several of them in his dresser because it’s the only thing he can wear without a binder that doesn’t make him feel super dysphoric. “Oh pancakes, thanks Sensei!” Miguel cheers as he grabs the mostly intact pancakes and starts shoveling them in his mouth “Or not.”
After that everything goes quickly, he grabs his previously packed bag and climbs into the backseat of his dad's firebird with Miguel, resting his cheek against his boyfriend's collar bone as Miguel strokes his hair. The brief respite from anxiety is definitely over and he feels almost nauseous as his dad glances over his shoulder occasionally to check on him, it’s nice to know he’s worried even if he’s not sure how to vocalize it.
The hands on his knee tightens and rubs circles to gently get his attention “You’re nervous now aren’t you?” He nods “I’ve had some less than positive experiences with doctors is all.” And to be fair he’s met the surgeon and she’s lovely as well as specializing in gender reaffirming surgeries but it’s the setting more than anything that freaks him out.
“I’m sorry baby,” Miguel says sadly and he nods and gives him a small smile “Yeah doctors can be really transphobic and you know my mom was a mess so I wasn’t getting any support there- it was a couple of bad experiences but it always gives me a little extra anxiety in medical settings, I’ll be fine.”
He knows the story hurts Miguel from the crestfallen look on his face and to be perfectly honest it probably bothers him more than Robby at this point, he’s fairly used to it after all.
“C’mon Migs don’t be sad this is an important day” The sad smile brightens as Miguel nods “You’re right, this is the best day of my life!” The one eighty makes him smile “Why is it the happiest day of your life?” He giggles and Miguel gives him an expression of mock seriousness before breaking into a grin “Because it’s the happiest day of your life.”
He can’t help the warm fluttery feeling as his cheeks flush and he draws Miguel in for a sweet kiss while Miguel smiles against his mouth and his dad groans. “The two of you are gross,” Johnny mutters like a petulant child and he just flips him off while continuing to make out with Miguel. If he can’t eat the pancakes at least he still gets to taste the chocolaty banana flavor on his boyfriend's lips.
If it makes his dad uncomfortable that’s just a bonus.
And it’s a damn good distraction while they drive to the hospital, and in the waiting room after filling out forms, but it can’t last forever and soon enough he has to go in for his final consultation with the surgeon.
Miguel’s never seen him shirtless before but he doesn’t think he can handle doing it alone. Eventually they compromise and Miguel walks him to the room and waits outside until he’s done to walk him back to the other hospital room where he changes into stiff hospital clothes, now all that’s left to do is wait.
The anesthesiologist is supposed to come grab him in fifteen minutes to put him under so they can start the procedure and he’s freaking out a little bit.
“Hey it’s going to be okay Robby,” His dad says while Miguel continues delicately combing his fingers through his hair, brushing the slightly damp waves out of his eyes. He must’ve forgotten to brush it, that’s the only thing that makes it wavy.
“I know I’m not- just what if it goes wrong or something and-“ His dad looks on helplessly like this is too advanced a level of comforting for him while Miguel takes pity and covers his mouth with a calloused palm “Hey I know it’s scary mi amor but I don’t think you can look at me and tell me you don’t want this with your whole heart.”
And Miguel is right he’s waited so long, he might not have been born in the right body but he can make this one work for him. “Yeah you're right I’m ready to do this, I’ve been ready for a long time.” Miguel nods and kisses him deeply while squeezing his hand “I’m proud of you, I’ll see you on the other side sweetheart” he nods and shakily stands up.
His dad gives him a quick hug and pats his back “I’ll be here the whole time and I know I haven’t always been in the past but I wanted you to know I love you and I’ll be around to take care of you while you recover.” He nods gratefully at the reassurance, he knew Miguel would help as much as he could with school but he didn’t know how much to expect from his dad and it eases some of the anxiety he’s had around this whole thing “Thanks dad it means a lot, all of this does.”
Then as he turns to Miguel and wraps him up in one last hug, his boyfriend teases him all the time about being a clingy koala but knowing he won’t be able to hug his boyfriend for weeks is hard. “I love you so much,” he whispers desperately, clutching onto him as hard as he can while Miguel kisses his hair and face “Te amo Robby, te amo mucho.”
He nods and holds Miguel for another five minutes before pulling himself away with a final searing kiss. He can still taste the faintest trace of chocolate and banana while he counts down the seconds until the anesthesia takes effect.