Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Leo, you need to take this seriously.”

The turtles were coming back from another mission, though in Leo’s opinion, it could hardly be called a mission. They were patrolling the surface when Raph had spotted a mugging. Two thugs had cornered a poor girl and Raph had jumped in immediately prompting the other three to jump down and help.

The thugs had been easy to take care of, going down with just one punch, but Leo was bored. Ever since they defeated the Shredder a month prior, crime had been relatively scarce. So Leo decided he should have some fun.

He dodged and weaved around one of the thug’s attacks, smirking and taunting him all the while. This only made the thug angrier and angrier, his attacks were getting more sloppy and his balance was all over the place, but Leo wanted to let off some steam. So he shoved the thug backwards, making them trip and fall over.

Leo laughed. “Aw, you’re not falling for me are you?” The thug growled and lunged at him, Leo dodging him easily.

“Leo!” Raph yelled from somewhere behind him. “Stop messing around!”

Leo rolled his eyes and turned to Raph, who was wrestling to subdue the other thug. “Oh come on! I have it all under control! I can take this guy out with my eyes closed!”

Donnie landed next to him, jet pack retreating back into his shell, his arms crossed and shaking his head. “Sigh, Nardo, if your ego gets any bigger I fear it will swallow the solar system.” He looked at his tech-watch. “But luckily, the cops are going to be here in about 10 minutes.”

Leo rolled his eyes again. “Fine.”

“If you keep doing that, your eyes are going to get stuck!” Mikey yelled happily from where he was helping Raph tie up the thug.

Leo ignored him and turned back to the thug when he heard a loud, metallic smack. Donnie had his tech-bō in his hands and smirked down at the thug, who was on the ground groaning, with a smug glint in his eye. Leo turned to his twin.

“Really Donnie! I had that guy!” Donnie raised a brow at him.

“Did you?” He said retracting his tech-bō.

“Yes I did! I had him right where I wanted him!” Leo huffed.

Donnie rolled his eyes. “Please, you know the best way to effectively and swiftly take out a villain is a swift and painful hit to the head.”

“Yea, but where’s the fun in that?”

“That is the fun part my dear brother, you get to watch as their consciousness slowly leaves them and their body collapses, succumbing to their concussion.”

“But-”

“Is this really the time?” Raph snapped scowling, stomping over to them with Mikey hanging off his shoulder. “Didn’t Donnie just say the cops were comin’?”

This time both twins rolled their eyes which triggered an argument, taking their attention off of the thug Leo had fought who was slowly getting up. He reached into his jacket catching Mikey’s attention immediately.

“Guys look out!” A loud bang went off and the three older turtles were thrown into the wall with a loud crack.

They groaned and sat up stunned.

Raph recovered first and spotted Mikey trying to wrestle the gun away from the mugger.
“Mikey!”

He lunged for the both of them, ripping the guy away from Mikey and pinned him against the ground, twisting both arms. The guy yelled in pain and stopped struggling.

Donnie and Leo rushed to Mikey’s side and Leo grabbed him, scanning him for injuries, and Donnie hovered anxiously.

“Did he get you? Are you hurt?” He turned Mikey around, looking for a sign that Mikey was hurt, guilt already starting to eat at him.

But Mikey waved him off and shot him a finger gun. “Nope! I used my squillz and managed to jump out of the way! I was razzmatastic baby!” Leo sighed in relief when he didn’t see anything and hugged him.

“Don’t do that ever again.” Mikey rolled his eyes. Leo grinned.
“Now who’s going to get their eyes stuck?” Mikey shoved him and stuck his tongue out as Donnie patted his head affectionately.

Suddenly a shadow towered over them. Leo looked behind him slowly and was startled at the expression on Raph’s face.

“We’re leaving.” He said shortly before hugging Mikey and climbing up the fire escape. Leo winced and shared a look with Donnie who shrugged and activated his jet pack, following after Raph. Mikey shot him a sympathetic smile before doing the same, leaving Leo to his guilt. He was so getting a scolding.

And right he was. Raph was staring him down with a disappointed expression on his face, mouth curled into a frown, his snaggletooth poking out from beneath his beak.

Leo resisted the urge to shrink into his shell at the expression. He knows this night could have ended badly, that it could have been all his fault, but he didn’t need this from Raph right now. He already had the guilt eating at him like a parasite, with what ifs running through his head, he didn’t need Raph treating him like a screw-up too.

Nevertheless, he tilted his head upwards and stared back at Raph.

“How was I supposed to know the guy had a gun?” He asked defensively.

“That’s the point, Leo, you don’t know. As the leader you have to be responsible and make sure the whole team is safe!”

“You guys were handling yourselves just fine-”

“Fine?” Raph yelled, clenching his fists. “You call what almost happened to Mikey fine?”

Leo shrugged and looked at his nails. Yes, he knew he was being an asshole, he knew his stupidity almost caused Mikey to be hurt, but he hated the way Raph was talking down to him. Like Leo wasn’t aware of his own actions.

“Key word being “almost.” Leo muttered and instantly regretted his words when Raph growled and took a step towards him. Mikey and Donnie suddenly appeared between them, holding Raph back. Mikey was telling him to take deep breaths, rubbing his plastron soothingly, while Donnie sent Leo a worried and slightly panicked look.

Leo stepped forwards despite Donnie shaking his head rapidly. “Raph, look I didn’t mean-”

Suddenly a bright light filled the lair cutting Leo off as he and his brothers let out panicked shouts and shielded their eyes.

“Someone turn off the lights!” Mikey yelled.

“Oh god, Donnie, is this your doing?!” Leo shouted.

“Why would I bring the equivalent of the sun into the lair?!” Donnie shouted back.

“I can feel it burning my eyes!” Raph cried.

The light lasted for a few more minutes before it faded, making them sigh with relief. Leo cautiously opened his eyes and he felt his earlier anxiety and dread return.

They were in what looked like a theater. But except of a big room with rows and rows of seats, there were only two rows with bean bags, pillows and blankets replacing the chairs. On the opposite wall was a large screen displaying the words

“Welcome turtles.”

Leo whistled. “Well, that's not creepy at all,” he commented. Suddenly two more flashes of lights appeared and they all covered their eyes again. There were sounds of groaning and Leo looked to see Splinter and April sitting on the bean bags, looking dazed and confused.

“Uh, what just happened?” April asked, standing up shakily.

“Purple, did you do something?” Splinter questioned, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “I was in the middle of my show!”

“Why do you guys always assume I did something?”

Mikey scoffed and crossed his arms. “Uh, because you always do something?”

Donnie huffed and rolled his eyes. “Your lack of faith wounds me, but jokes on you, I am innocent.”

“Then who did this?” Raph asked as he examined the screen.

“Do you think this is Hypno’s doing?” Leo asked as he inspected the room, noting that there were no exits. “I mean he must have a powerup or something cause this room is off the charts!” He walked around the room, trying to see if there were any cameras or suspicious boom boxes.

There was a noise from the screen as the words changed.

“I have brought you all here so you can watch your pasts and understand each other. You may have succeeded in defeating the Shredder, but you have become divided, so in watching this I hope you will become united once again.”

Leo ignored the stares he was getting from his family and tried to push down the wave of guilt. So this was my fault, of course.

“So,” April said slowly, “We’re gonna watch our past? How far back are we talking here?”

The screen changed again.

“We will start from when you five met Draxum. Now, the TV will pause anytime someone speaks to allow discussion, then it will continue when you are done. Now, are you ready?”

They all looked at each other.

“How are we sure this isn’t a trap?” Raph asked suspiciously.

Leo sat down on a bean bag with a huff. “Do we have a choice? There’s no exit!”

The others all looked at each other before they sat down reluctantly. Raph sighed and pinched his nose. Then he looked back up at the screen.

“We’re ready.”

Then a countdown appeared, counting down to 1 and when it stopped, the screen changed once more.

Episode 1: Mystic Mayhem

Chapter Text

[Opens on city scene; a crowded sidewalk. A small, doglike creature races between pedestrians legs.]

April straightened. “Hey that’s Mayhem!”

Pedestrians: "Hey! Huh? What the -? Easy there! Come on!" [Yelling]

[Chasing the creature are two big, hulking men, who shove pedestrians out of the way. The creature knocks a bunch of flags to the sidewalk and men slow down to tiptoe between them, avoiding stepping on the flags. The creature runs between a delivery guy and a street vendor.]

Delivery Guy "Not cool, dude!
[Men knock him down.]
You gotta watch where you’re going, man!”

Mikey sighed. “That’s such a waste of food.”

Donnie raised a brow at him. “Really? You’re not at all concerned about the people they knocked over?”

Mikey rolled his eyes and was about to say something else but was interrupted by Leo shushing them. Mikey stuck his tongue out and dodged when Leo tried to smack him with a pillow.

“Cut it out!” April hissed when they bumped into her, “We’re trying to watch something here?”

“Sorry, April.” They both whispered, glaring at each other before bursting into giggles when she turned away.

[The creature runs down an alley and encounters a wall.]

Man 1 "This way."

“Oh no!” Raph whispered, “Run away little buddy!” April and Leo giggled.

[The creature turns to see two men approaching, hands out menacingly. They leap, but the creature glows and suddenly vanishes. The men hit the ground and creature reappears far behind them. It runs off and the men stand, growling.]

“Yea!” April yelled, high-fiving Mikey. “That’s my Mayhem!”

[Cut scene to rooftop, where a party is taking place. The man tosses briefcase full of money onto table in front of rich man, who laughs. Above and behind them, atop of roof spire, are four figures They leap All landing on building ledge. One shoots cable across to metal beam on building on the other side of the rich man’s party. Attaches other end of cable to the wall next to him.]

“Oh my god is that us?”

UNKNOWN MALE "[into communicator] Yellow submarine, are we clear?"

FEMALE "[off-screen] Affirmative, Red Rover."

UNKNOWN MALE "Copy. [Turns to brothers.] Right, boys, it’s go time."

[All attach clamps to cable and begin sliding across. Below them, rich man is still laughing. The Leader holds up his hand as a signal. There is screeching sound, but all four glide right over the party. Approach a building next to it and the leader points down. All jump from the cable. Then from the shadows reveal four mutant turtles.]

“Omigosh! It is us!”

LEONARDO "Cow –"

MICHELANGELO "A –"

DONATELLO "Bun –"

RAPHAEL "Ga!"

ALL "Cannonball!"

[Land in pool. Water flies up in a huge jet. April yells triumphantly and holds out phone only to be drenched in water.]

“We’re so cool!” Leo boasted.

Splinter sighed and shook his head. “Kids.”

APRIL "Woohoo!"

[All dancing and whooping in the now empty pool.]

MIKEY "Ha! You must be this rad to ride that ride."

DONNIE "Well, based on our velocity and entry angle . . . I concur. We rad."

Leo snorted and Donnie turned and elbowed him, making Leo grumble in pain and stick his tongue out at him. “Real mature.” Donnie said sarcastically.

APRIL "You guys crushed it. Gimmee five! [All leap out to join her.] Or three."

RAPH "Couldn’t have done it without you, April. Our girl with the plan."

Raph smiled at April. “We really couldn’t have done anything without you April.” April smiled and hugged him, prompting the others to join. Raph hugged them tighter and he caught Leo’s eye, giving him a tentative smile. Leo smiled back at him.

“Aw, Raph, I’m always going to be here for you guys.”

LEO "And keys to the roof."

MIKEY "Let’s go bungee dunk on the hoops at Rucker Park."

APRIL "Game on! Just one thing first. [Tosses two warning signs on ground.] “Wet floor” and “Dry pool”. Our work is done here. Donnie, can I hitch a ride."

DONNIE "No probbles."

[Don turns his back to her and gestures towards his shell with his thumb. April jumps onto his shell, which immediately opens to provide a seat and handlebars. Rotors whirl and they lift off from the rooftop, followed by the other three turtles. As Raph is jumping down, he spots the little doglike creature, who is shivering and whimpering in a construction yard.]

RAPH "Aww. [Slams face first into a building.]

They all burst into laughter as Raph shrinks in embarrassment.

“You alright there big brother?” Donnie asks through laughs.

“I just got a little distracted,” Raph grumbled.

Oh! [Crawls up to roof.] Hey, hey guys, hold up. [Points down at creature.] Poor thing looks lost. [Jumps down and others follow. Lands heavily behind the creature and startles it.]

Hey little guy, [baby talk] what’chu doing here? Mm, mm, come to big Raphie. [Others laughing.] What? Pets love me all right? I am at one with the animals."

[The Creature growls and leaps at Raph’s face, clawing him up and then jumps into April’s arms. It begins licking her.]

“Are you sure about that Raph?” Leo asked with a laugh. Raph huffed.

“We’re going to be buddies soon, I can feel it.”

APRIL "Aww. I didn’t get this drenched from the cannonball."

MIKEY "It looks so weird. What is it?"

DONNIE "Maybe it’s some kind of nuclear St. Bernard."

[Donnie touches small globe attached to its collar. Angry scoff draws their attention to two figures nearby. All gasp.]

RAPH "Oooh! Humans! [All four turtles duck behind April as he whispers.] Initiate plan H."

[Raph, Leo, Mikey come out of hiding.]

LEO "Um, excuse me sirs. Can you direct us to the local science fiction convention that we are currently dressed for?"

MIKEY "Snazzy alien turtle outfits, huh?"

DONNIE "[stepping in front of Mikey] We are just typical, normal humans who got lost in the middle of our normal, everyday human lives. Nailed it."

April snorted and shook her head. “I can’t believe you guys thought that would work.”

Mikey crossed his arms. “And I can’t believe that Donnie refuses to go to rehearsal. We could have been a lot more convincing!”

Donnie scoffed. “The possibility of us being more convincing if I went to rehearsal is very low. I would rather spend my precious time in my lab doing science.”

LEO "[whispering to Donnie] Dude, you gotta make it to rehearsal."

See!” Mikey yelled, throwing his hands up.

MAN 1 "Give to me creature. How you say . . . Pretty please . . . Or I’ll destroy you."

RAPH "Really? You think you’re gonna step to our friend? Rookie mistake, hoss."

APRIL "And if you step to my friends for stepping to you for st-stepping to me? You’re gonna have to step to me. Mm-kay?"

MAN 1 "You do not intimidate us, with or without your fake nerd voices."

DONNIE "That was actually my real voice."

RAPH "Well, you better get intimidated, ‘cause we’re like nothing you’ve ever seen."

DONNIE "What’s wrong with my voice?"

Donnie frowned and Leo patted his back sympathetically. “Nothing’s wrong with your voice, Don.”

MAN 1 "Hm?"

[Both men start to glow and purple stuff flows around their bodies.]

TURTLES AND APRIL "Whoa! No way!"

MIKEY "Dude!"

RAPH "Jumping Jack Flash!"

[Turtles and April react as men begin to transform into huge monsters astride monstrous dogs. Garm and Freki]

LEO "So . . . You guys from Jersey?"

MIKEY "Really, Leo?"

LEO "What? I can’t make a joke in the middle of the craziest thing ever? That’s how I cope."

RAPH "Whatever. [All brothers pull their weapons.] This is our chance to finally use these babies. Weapons ahoy!"

DONNIE "We agreed to reserve “ahoy” for ship based adventures, pal, please."

"When are we ever going on ship adventures?" Leo asked.

"Don't you remember when you sent us to Tahiti?" Mikey replied.

"Oh yea."

[Dogs snarling and barking race towards them.]

DONNIE "Guys, I got this. [Staff expands with jets on either end. He throws it at oncoming bad guys.] Fibonacci! [It begins whirling sporadically.] Ah, no, n . . . oh, no, no. That’s so bad."

April laughed, “Man, that looked so cool at first.”

Donnie huffed. “It was just a minor malfunction.”

APRIL "[Creatures hisses and disappears.] Dog thingy!"

[Creature reappears in the air, clamps mouth on to the runway staff, and blinks out while holding staff. Appears above Donnie and drops with staff into his hands.]

DONNIE "Hey, it plays fetch. [Blinks out again and returns to April.] And teleports, which is . . . oh, my gosh, it teleports!"

DONNIE "Ah!"

[Don crashes into a pile of cinderblocks.]

They all winced.

APRIL "Donnie!"

DONNIE "Pro tip, the inexplicable glow-y wave – extraordinarily painful."

“Yea,” he said grimacing, “That was not fun.”

RAPH "All right, Mikey, you take the one that looks like a broken toaster. I’ll take the guy that looks like a fancy trash can."

MIKEY "[Weapon comes down in front of Raph, throwing him backwards.] They look exactly the same, [monster chases Raph and Mikey starts to run, looking behind him] and they don’t look like either of those things!"

“Raph, where do you come up with that stuff?” Leo asked, amused.

“What do you mean? That’s how heroes talk!” Raph said, crossing his arms defensively.

“Yea! But they look exactly the same!” Mikey complained. Raph let out a “hmph” and turned back to the screen.

[Dog creature chases Mikey.]

LEO "Hey, where are you going? [Snarling sound makes him look back over his shoulder. Other monster is astride a dog creature.] You had to ruin cannonball day. [Rushes at monster.]

Ooh-ho-ho-ho! [Metallic ringing as he swings his weapons, then flash of light. When image clears, Leo is standing there with two broken swords. Moans.] My swords!"

Splinter narrowed his eyes. “Blue, please tell me you did not just break your swords.” Leo laughed nervously and looked away.

[Leo jumps onto side of concrete truck and flips in the air beneath monster’s weapon, and then falls flat on his face.]

They all laugh as Leo grumbles in embarrassment.

“You need to be humbled somehow,” Donnie said with a smirk.

[Cut to Raph who takes a hit and slides backwards. Mikey leaps down next to him.]

RAPH "Mikey, ninja mode!"[Both ease back into the shadows. Monster growls and then lifts weapon, pointing it at Raph, who is clearly visible behind a steel girder.]

MIKEY "Yeah! [Retracts back into his shell and Raph grabs him.] Brother-ball! [Throws Mikey at monster, but it reaches up and catches him. Mikey’s limbs appear and he pulls nunchucks, shouting as he spins them. Begins striking the monster’s arm, but it doesn’t budge as the nunchucks bounce off and hit Mikey.]

“Miguel,” Leo said slowly, “How on earth did you miss?”

“Uh,” Mikey chuckled nervously, “Luck?” Leo snickered and Mikey blew a raspberry at him.

Ho! Ha! Ho! Take that! [Mikey’s face is all puffy and bruised as he stops swinging.] Had enough yet?"

[Monster releases Mikey into a flowing purple orb and flings him away. He loses his grip on the nunchucks, which the monster catches in one hand and crushes.]

MIKEY "My ‘chucks!"

Splinter pinched his nose. “Boys.” He muttered.

RAPH "Hey! Why don’t you pick on someone my size!"

[Pulls sais as bell dings. They are facing off. Monster snaps his finger and dog leaps at Raph, who runs screaming. Dog clamps onto his head, flings him around, and then throws him. He hits the dirt and begins coughing. Reaches for his sai, which is sticking up from the ground, but a purplish blast hits his weapon and disintegrates it, and then the other one which is nearby. Raph lets out a high-pitched cry. Monster hits him and throws him atop Don, who is lying on top of Mikey and Leo.]

“So this is how you boys lost your weapons.” They all looked away, avoiding his eyes as Leo whistled nonchalantly, trying to look innocent.

APRIL "Hey, [bricks smashes against monster’s chest] trash can and toaster boy! If you know what’s good for you, [picks up brick] you’ll leave my friends [monsters lifts hands and orb forms around the little doglike creature they saved] alone. What the – [Creature tries to teleport out of orb, but can’t. With a wave of his hand, monster pulls orb through air towards it, but April hangs on.] No!"

[Monster grabs orb from April and then blasts her backwards.]

GARM "I have the agent and the vial. Hyah!"

“Agent?” Donnie asked.

[Spins around and gestures. A giant M appears on the brick wall nearby and an opening appears.]

TURTLES "Whoa!"

DELIVERY GUY "[Rings bicycle bell and turtles move aside.] Sweet shortcut. Wait! This is not a shortcut!" [Rides right into the opening and falls far through a glowing tunnel, screaming.]

MIKEY "Ah! Good to know."

[Doggy whines and monster rides into opening.]

APRIL "The dog thingy!" [Gives chase.]

RAPH "Hey! [Turtles chase her.] April! No! [Wall closes after April enters. Raph slams face first into bricks.] Oh! April!"

LEO "I think she’s okay, ‘cause there’s no, like, April bits on the ground."

April giggled. “April bits?”

RAPH "[Looks on other side of the brick wall.] Hey, April, are your bits on the other side of the wall? How do we get her out of there?" [Looks at Don.]

DONNIE "And, equally important, where is"there”?

MIKEY "[Standing and staring at the giant M on the wall. Snaps his fingers.] Oh, hey! I’ve seen this before! In fact, we all have.

[Scene pulls back and then returns to an object on a shelf in the lair.] In Splinter’s do-not-touch cabinet."

April stifled a laugh when she saw the expression on Splinter’s face. He was glaring at the turtles in betrayal as they pretended not to see him, instead looking at the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

RAPH "[Turtles all behind chair where Splinter sits watching TV on a big screen. Cabinet is to his right.] You’re right. It’s just like the symbol those creeps have."

MIKEY "Should we just ask him for it?"

LEO "And what do we say if he asks why we want it? That we need it to go after our best friend, who disappeared into a wall after our priceless weapons were destroyed by mystical jogger guys?"

“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous.” Donnie commented.

RAPH "[Slams hand down on Leo’s head.] Shh! Okay, here’s the plan. We gotta get Splinter out of the room."

[TV voice-over in Japanese. Turtles slide in front of the screen and bow respectfully.]

RAPH "Hey, Pop. Any chance we can have the living room tonight?"

SPLINTER "[Slurping milk through straw from the carton. Laughs hysterically.] And I thought purple was the funny one!"

“That’s because I’m clearly the funny one,” Leo said haughtily.

“In your dreams, Nardo.” Donnie replied, earning an offended gasp. Leo made to smack him but a glare from Splinter and Raph made him stop.

DONNIE "I told you guys I was the funniest. What if I hooked it up so that you could watch in bed, huh? Wouldn’t that be even lazier?"

SPLINTER "No! My butt is asleep, just how I like it. Now, leave me be! They’re about to break out the scorpions!"

[Laughs as TV voice-over begins again. Turtles slide out of sight. All turtles squatting on floor behind his chair.]

RAPH "Plan one didn’t work. New plan. All right, listen up. [Slaps paper on table and grabs a crayon.] We need ten chickens, a gallon of rubber cement, and . . ."

LEO "[Holds up compass object from Splinter’s cabinet.] Leon’s got it."

RAPH "How’d you get it?"

LEO "You know he always passes out after milk and cake." [They peek over top of chair. Splinter lay there snoring.

Raph blinked. He forgot just how observant Leo could be.

[Back at construction site brick wall. Raph holds up compass in front of the wall.]

DONNIE "A few hours ago I would’ve called this foolish and impossible. Now I just call it foolish."

MIKEY "Say what you want, Donnie. Raph’ll pull it off, ‘cause if he doesn’t, we’ll lose our best friend forever."

LEO "Mikey, don’t say that. You know he chokes under pressure."

Raph thought back to the day they defeated Shredder. How he was forced to leave Pops and Draxum behind after watching Gram-Gram die. How Raph had to carry the burden of getting him and his brothers to safety, not knowing if his dad was going to be alive when they came back. Raph almost cracked under pressure then, in fact, he would have if not for April. Raph really owes a lot to her.

DONNIE "Leo, he’s even more self-conscious when you talk about it."

MIKEY "And then you can smell his fear."

RAPH "[Getting more nervous as they talk, finally spins on them.] Stop talking about my fear stink!"

[Dramatically points compass at wall but nothing happens. Pushes it closer and shakes compass, but nothing happens. Punches the bricks repeatedly while brothers look on.]

RAPH "Come on! Stupid wall! [Throws compass at it. It bounces back to hit him and he falls.] Oh."

MIKEY "How about we let the artist of the crew take a poke at it?" [Has caught the compass.]

LEO "I say give him a shot. I mean, he can’t do any worse, respectfully."

RAPH "Hey."

[Mikey approaches wall and holds compass close to it. The pointer starts spinning and a glow appears, creating a matrix. Mikey cries out triumphantly and quickly draws the M on the wall. The opening appears and he gazes down through the glowing tunnel.]

DONNIE "You beautiful fools. It worked!"

RAPH "All I had to do was believe in myself."

“Sure, Raph.”

LEO "Okay, uh, what do we do now?" [All looking at Raph.]

RAPH "Cannonball!" [Leaps into tunnel. Brothers follow.]

ALL "Cannonball!" [Fall through and land on ground below with pained grunts, except for Leo, who lands on his feet.]

LEO "Land safely . . . aha! Oh, whoa!"

ALL "[Expressing amazement as they look around at a strange world full of creatures.] Whoa, whoa!"

LEO "I can smell Raph’s amazement stink."

“Do you guys have to point it out every time?” Raph grumbled as the others laughed.

ALL "Whoa. This is crazy."

DONNIE "Exactly what I expected."

RAPH "Are you kidding me?"

APRIL "Psst. [They turn around.] Hey, guys, over here."

MIKEY "April!"

[Rush to her and all hug.]

RAPH "Missed you! [They separate.] Donnie, where are we?"

DONNIE "According to my calculations, we are in a tertiary meta-verse."

APRIL "Actually, I’ve been exploring, and we’re in a mystic hidden city deep under New York!"

DON "That was my second guess."

Leo smirked. “So you’re saying you didn't know?”

“As if, I always refer to my science to gather information before coming up with an explanation for our situation.

“So, you’re guessing.” Donnie smacked him with a pillow eliciting an offended squawk.

MIKEY "Whoa."

LEO "So where’s the dog thingy?"

APRIL "He’s in there." [All look towards round structure high up on hill. Scene cuts to metal door sliding open and the group is standing there. All gasp and make amazed noises.]

DONNIE "Look at the color scheme. Whoa, I’d love to do my lab in this style."

“Are you going to become a super villain, Donald?” Mikey asked suspiciously.

“No?” Donnie replied, though it sounded more like a question than an answer. Mikey narrowed his eyes.

RAPH "Hey, there’s the little guy. And the delivery guy too!"

[Dog thingy and delivery guy in separate cages. Dog thingy keeps trying to portal out, unsuccessfully.]

RAPH "We gotta help them get out!"

APRIL "[Stops Raph as he starts to jump down to floor below.] Someone’s coming."

[Baron Draxum appears, stopping in front of the cages.]

Splinter perked up. He never really knew how the boys met Draxum.

DELIVERY GUY "If you’re the guy that keeps calling about the calamari, fine, it’s pig butts! But the crab cakes are real."

DRAXUM "I assure you, I have no interest in your petty cakes of crab."

[Small creature leaps from Draxum’s shoulder onto the front of the cage.]

MUNINN "But we would love to hear more about those pig butts."

DELIVERY GUY "Ah!"

DRAXUM "[Squats in front of dog thingy’s cage and reaches inside.] So nice of you to return my vial. [Yanks globe off its neck and approaches the delivery guy again.] You are about to be part of an experiment that will change the very nature of humanity."

“I feel like we skipped over “Mayhem possibly being a spy” far too quickly,” Donnie said.

“Hush!” Mikey whispered and Donnie sniffed, offended.

DELIVERY GUY "All right!"

[Draxum uncorks the globe and pours green liquid contents into a giant tank full of Oozesquitoes. Liquid flows up to cylinder and electricity begins to spark of tubes.]

APRIL "This dude looks like trouble."

RAPH "Yeah, and if I’ve learned anything from “Jupiter Jim” movies, glowing green usually equals bad."

[Green liquid multiplies in size and Oozesquitoes begin drinking it. Draxum extracts one of the Oozesquitoes from the container and walks back to caged delivery guy.]

DELIVERY GUY "So . . . [Draxum gestures and cage walls turn into vines which wrap around delivery guy and lift him up.] is this gonna hurt?"

DRAXUM "It will . . . if I’m doing it right." [Oozesquito latches on to delivery guy’s face and pumps green liquid into him. Leaves a red dot on his forehead.]

DELIVERY GUY "Hey, that wasn’t so – oh, ow. Okay, this part hurts. [Begins transforming.] This part – oh! This part hurts. Ah, that hurts! Oh!"

They all grimaced. “Oh man, that’s even worse up close.” Leo shuddered, the others all nodded their heads in agreement.

RAPH "What’s happening to him?"

APRIL "That is messed up." [Delivery guy is transformed and making gurgling noises. The turtles and April react with groans and grimaces.]

DONNIE "Yeah, jury’s in. That was imitation crab."

DELIVERY/CRAB GUY "I just got used to acne. Now this?" [Screams and runs out of the room.]

“Did we ever see him again?” Raph questioned. They all shook their heads. Wonder what happened to that guy, Raph thought.

MUNINN "[Laughs.] Should we go after him, boss?"

DRAXUM "The mutation worked, just like it did all those years ago."

Splinter scoffed. Even though he and Draxum made up, Splinter remembers the day he was mutated very well. But, he thought with a fond smile as he looked at his sons talking and shushing each other, at least one good thing came out of it. Well, four things.

RAPH "Mutation? You mean like us? [Gasps.] Could we be –"

MIKEY "Part imitation crab?"

DONNIE "[Laughs and then sobers.] You are not kidding, are you?"

DRAXUM "[Standing over doggy’s cage.] I’ll deal with you next."

APRIL "We can’t let that sheep-horned weirdo do anything to that dog!"

LEO "But except for Donnie, we’re out of weapons."

DONNIE "Note to you, next time, make your weapons out of high-grade titanium."

RAPH "Guys, who needs weapons? We’re ninjas! Leo’s got his mad skills, nobody flips better than Mikey, Donnie’s got that big old brain, and I got, uh –"

APRIL "A friend who knows where there’s a room full of weapons."

LEO "Ah, thank goodness. We were so dead."

They all laughed and Leo shot Raph an apologetic look who just smiled and rolled his eyes.

[Music plays as April pulls a lever and all fall through the floor.]

ALL "[Gazing into huge room full of lights and gadgets.] Ah! No way! Whoa!"

DONNIE "It’s like if magic and science had a baby!"

LEO "[Grabbing a pair of swords.] Ho, oh, oh, yeah!"

MIKEY "[Finds and spins nunchucks.] These’ll do."

RAPH "Hey, yo, guys! How about we take the glow-y ones?" [Raph points at spot where glowing weapons float in the air. Leo and Mikey’s eyes widen and they drop their weapons and run to the new ones.]

The three of them looked at each other and smiled, remembering how good it felt to get their mystic weapons.

LEO "Oh, dibs on the sword. [Grabs Odachi and swings it.] Oh, boy!"

MIKEY "[Grabs Kusari-fundo Nunchaku.] Hot soup!"

RAPH "[Grabs Tonfa and smashes them together.] Boom! Huh-ha!"

[Last thing floating is a mystic staff. April grabs it and holds it out.]

APRIL "What about you, Donnie? Don’t you want a glow-y weapon?"

DONNIE "No, I’m good. [Hugs his staff.] I’ll never let you go. This looks interesting though." [Don touches a purple crystal that’s floating nearby.]

LEO "Ho, oh, oh, yeah!" [Three turtles pose with their new weapons.] RAPH "Let’s go save that dog thingy!"

[Back in main chamber, Huginn is poking the dog thingy with a stick and laughing.]

April frowned, now she was glad she defeated those two, nobody messes with her baby like that.

DRAXUM "Finally, after all these years, I can continue my work."

[Loud banging sound startles him. Turtles and April fall through a large pipe.]

DRAXUM "What?"

RAPH "All right, you incredibly, unusually buff bookworm, give us the little guy, and you’ll walk out of here with your horns still attached."

“If you guys couldn’t beat those mystical jogger dudes, what made you think you could beat Draxum?” April asked.

‘Uh,” Raph said.

“With the power of believing in ourselves, baby!” Mikey shouted confidently, high-fiving Leo. Donnie rolled his eyes as April and Raph shared a look. Splinter snickered.

LEO "Shouldn’t we also stop him from creating crab-men?"

RAPH "Good note. Okay, give us the little guy, stop creating crab-men –"

DONNIE "Imitation crab-men." [April sighs in exasperation.]

BROTHERS START TALKING ALL AT ONCE "And a ride home, and a limo, with a hot tub and pizza!"

"Hot tub?"

[Draxum is looking at them with stars in his eyes.]

RAPH "Stop creating imitation crab-men and you’ll walk out of here . . . ."

DRAXUM "You’re . . . beautiful."

“Huh,” Raph blinked. He wasn’t used to Draxum showing emotion.

LEO "Raph, why don’t you take it from the top again?"

RAPH "Here goes. First, you apologize to the dog thingy –"

APRIL "Let’s do this! [Leaps off balcony, swinging her club.] April O’Neil!"

MIKEY "Omigosh! She just ran in."

“Duh!” April said, crossing her arms. “You guys were just standing there! I had to do something.”

[April lands on dog thingy’s cage, begins chewing on vines, straining and grunting as she tries to free him. Huginn and Muninn grab her and fly around room with her trying to beat them off. Draxum throws giant purple vines at the turtles.]

“And you thought biting the vines would help?” Leo asked amused before ducking away from April’s pillow.

LEO "[Sliding around on the vine.] I hate this! I hate this! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Gah!"

[Draxum throws down pellets and a giant robot thing grows up from the floor.]

MIKEY "Omigosh!"

DONNIE "Whoa, whoa!"

RAPH "Dude, seriously?"

LEO "Ah! It looked at me!"

“Don’t tell me you’re scared, Nardo.” Donnie teased with a smirk. Leo glared.

“It was a giant robot made of plants! Who wouldn’t be scared?”

[Robot grabs all vines together and shakes them, flinging turtles off. Turtles laying on floor groaning and whimpering. Robot roars.]

DONNIE "This one’s got a little spice."

DRAXUM "Capture those specimens!"

RAPH "[Robot charges.] Cowabunga!"

[Turtles all charge the robot. Leo swings his sword and slices through a leg. It roars and grabs handful of boulders from floor, throwing them at turtles. Mikey and Raph dodge each missile.]

RAPH "Hot soup! [Smashes face first into robot, knocking it down.] Whoa! Whoa!"

DONNIE "[Battle shell opens and rotors deploy. Flies overhead and opens rockets on staff, but they start spinning him.] No, no, no. No, no, no, no."

“You really need to get that checked out, Donnie.” Raph said.

Donnie rolled his eyes. “Scoff! As if I didn’t fix it as soon as we got home. Who do you take me for?”

MIKEY "Look out guys! Whoa! Whoa!" [Staff smashes into robot’s head and spins his whole body, then sends it crashing to the ground.]

DONNIE "Ha! [Catches his staff.] Nailed it!"

“Did you really nail that, Donnie?”

“Shut up April, it was cool.”

She hummed disbelievingly. “Sure.”

DRAXUM "Accidentally impressive. With a little bit of training, you could be as formidable as I’d hoped."

APRIL "[Still flying around overhead.] It’s okay! I got this!"

LEO "[Coughs] Okay, well, great, and since you’re surrendering."

DRAXUM "[Laughs] Baron Draxum does not surrender."

LEO "Okay, well, when he gets here, we’ll deal him...oh, ho, ho, I see. You’re doing that whole “sinister talking in the third person” thing."

RAPH "Only Raph can use the third person! All right, guys, time to put our training to use."

LEO "What training? You guys have been training?"

“Yea, I wouldn’t exactly call watching Lou Jitsu training.” Leo remarked.

Splinter let out an offended gasp. “How could you say that? Of course it is!”

[All rush to attack Draxum. His arms grow huge and he blocks all their strikes. Hits the ground with both fists and the concussion throw the turtles back.]

DRAXUM "And that’s why Baron Draxum–"

HUGINN "[Falls from above and hits Draxum on the head.] I’m sorry, boss."

[April lands on ground and beats on Muninn, grabs Huginn in her teeth. Shakes Muninn loose from her leg and stomps on him, giving the turtles a thumbs up. Draxum shoots brownish liquid at her and it wraps her in a cocoon.]

MIKEY "You did not just do that to our friend!" [Throws end of chain at Draxum, but it goes past him and then hangs in the air, the round end spinning. The weapon starts to laugh maniacally.]

MIKEY "Whoa. Magic weapon . . . Ah! [It yanks him forward and then flies around, taking him on a wild ride.] Whoa! Whoa!"

[He hits a section of the ooze tank and breaks it. Mikey is yelling and screaming, as the end of his Kusari-fundo still laughs and turns into a flaming face. Draxum jumps aside just before it hits him, and Mikey lands hard.]

“Man, that was so cool.” Mikey sighed ignoring the look Donnie was giving him.

RAPH "Mikey, that was awesome. How’d you do that?"

MIKEY "I don’t know, man. I was just swinging my weapon, like this, and all of a sudden . . . [end flames on again and laughter begins.] Just like tha –a-a-a!"

RAPH "Let me try. Magic weapon, magic weapon, magic weapon, magic weapon! [Tonfas start to spark.] Aw, yeah! Magic weapon! [It explodes and knocks him down.] Mine works too."

LEO "Can’t wait to find out what mine does! [Starts running and sword begins to spark and shift. Draxum lifts arm to block him and Leo swings without connecting.] Ya!"

DRAXUM "[Looks surprised.] Hm?"

LEO "[Laughs uneasily while sweating. Sword lifted overhead sparks some more and a portal opens beneath Leo’s feet. He starts to fall.] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [Portal opens overhead and he falls through, going through first portal again.]

Whoa! Ah! [Falls through over and over.] Get . . . me . . . off . . . this . . . ride! Whoa!"

DONNIE "And that’s why I like fighting the old-fashioned way, with impossibly futuristic high-tech weaponry."

[Begins attacking Draxum, who blocks his strikes. The end of Donnie’s staff forms a rocket and when Draxum swings at him, Donnie ducks so that Draxum hits his staff. It bounces up and smashes him in the face, knocking Draxum backwards.]

“Holy shit!” Leo exclaimed startling Donnie.

“What?”

“You got a hit on Draxum!” Mikey yelled. “That’s so awesome!”

Donnie flushed. “Well, it went just like I planned it, so it was expected.” Raph clapped him on the back making Donnie let out a tiny “oof”.

“Man, you should have told us you landed a hit! That's so cool!” Raph said, grinning proudly. Donnie tried to wave him off, not used to being outright praised when a hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up to see Splinter smiling at him.

“Hitting Draxum is no easy feat son, I’m proud of you.” That was when Donnie felt he just won the lottery. He grinned and pumped his fist in the air.

“Yes! Parental validation! I’m so gonna chase this feeling.” They all laughed.

DONNIE "Just like I planned it!" [Jumps into air while spinning his staff.]

MIKEY "Look out!" [Smashes into Donnie.]

Leo snorted. “Well, that was short lived.” Donnie glared at him and threw a pillow. Leo dodged and pouted. What was up with them trying to hit him with pillows today?

DRAXUM "You fight like untrained buffoons, but under me, you could become true warriors!"

[Draxum throws pellets that form cocoons around the turtles. Donnie and Mikey are cocooned together.]

MIKEY "We don’t spend enough quality time together."

DONNIE "Oh, please not now, Mikey."

Mikey threw his arms around Donnie, grinning up at him, Donnie sighed but made no move to move him.

APRIL "How are we gonna save the dog thingy now?"

DONNIE "Donnie’s on it." [Donnie lowers his goggles and peers around the lab. Sees tank sparking like it’s going critical. His goggle alarm sounds.]

DONNIE "Wait a second. [Draxum approaches and startles him.] Ah!"

DRAXUM "Turtles, why are you trying to stop my plans? We are all in this together!"

Leo and Raph scoffed.

DONNIE "Ah, hey, I don’t know if this is part of your plan, but the lab’s about to explode."

[Turtles and April start hopping around in their cocoons panicking. The tank sparks some more and starts exploding.]

DRAXUM "Aw, nuts." [Boulder lands on him. Tower buzzes and starts falling. All of the Oozesquitoes escape. Tube hits dog thingy’s cage and breaks it. He portals away and lands on April’s lap.]

APRIL "Little guy! Can you do your thing and get us out of here?"

[The creature grins and portals April and the turtles out of the lab. They wind up just outside of Draxum’s stronghold. Mikey quickly draws the M symbol on a wall and they jump through when it opens. Draxum’s stronghold explodes. Turtles and April land safely topside. The compass slides out of Mikey’s hand and breaks.]

Splinter groaned and Mikey sent him an apologetic look.

MIKEY "Oh, no! Splinter’s doohickey!"

APRIL "Man. [Dog thingy appears above her and lands in her hands.] Are you okay, boy? Or girl? You sure were good through all that mayhem. Hey, Mayhem! That’s a cute name."

RAPH "We just defeated a boss villain. We’re heroes. [All strike a pose.] We deserve a name like Mad Dogs."

LEO "Mad dogs? You don’t think something like Mutant Ninja Turtle Teens or . . . I don’t know. Maybe – we’ll keep brainstorming."

[Oozesquito flies past them.]

ALL "Huh? Hm."

[Tons of Oozesquitoes fly out of the open mouth behind them as ominous music plays.]

DONNIE "Huh. That can’t be good."

“Nope, it was not.”

LEO "We should go. People’s blinds are starting to open."

The screen turned black.

Episode 1 is over. Start next one?

They all looked at each other, after a moment Raph said. “I think we’re ready for the next one.”

Episode 2: Origami Tsunami

Chapter Text

The screen flashed on.

[Episode opens with a downward view of the lair while suspenseful music plays. Scans over to living area, where a movie is playing on a giant screen. Next we see Splinter seated in his easy chair, smiling as he watches a movie. Cut to movie.]

BIG ACTOR "Where's our free grub, noodle man?"

LOU JITSU "[Raph in front of the screen, mouthing the lines with him.] Okay, ha. How ‘bout some . . . hot soup?"

[Raph grips Donatello’s chest and then Michelangelo’s. Actors on screen yell as they are tossed and Raph tosses his brothers too. Both yell as they fall face first into hot noodle soup. Noodle lands on Splinter’s face and he eats it.]

The turtles gasped. “Teriyaki Showdown?” Donnie said, excitedly.

“I love that movie!” Mikey shouted, giving Donnie a fist-bump.

LOU JITSU "Too spicy for you? [laughs] Everyone’s a critic. Hm."

DONATELLO "Man, ‘Teriyaki Shakedown’ always gets me so [inhales] jazzed!"

“Indeed it does,” Donnie nodded in a monotone voice making April giggle.

RAPHAEL "Yeah, Lou Jitsu’s the business!" [Remote goes flying through the air and hits Raph in the face, knocking him down.]

They all snorted with laughter as Raph pouted. “You didn’t have to throw the remote, Pops,” he said, rubbing his forehead where the remote hit him.

“You had poor technique, I will not have you disgracing Lou Jitsu’s name.” Splinter said with a huff.

Leo frowned. “Aren’t you Lou Jitsu?” Splinter smacked him with his tail, knocking Leo down with a squawk.

SPLINTER "Then why do you insult the master with your poor technique? [Leaps off chair, spins in the air, and smashes into all three of his sons.] Hot soup! [Stands up as turtles groan.] Do not worry. Someday you will be great ninjas with a little practice . . . is something I would say if I were a liar."

“Man,” Mikey pouted, “That was harsh.”

“No kidding,” Leo said, rubbing where Splinter smacked him.

MIKEY "That’s nice of you to say, Pop, but I’m tired of practicing."

RAPH "[Stands up.] Yeah, we can be heroes like Lou Jitsu!"

SPLINTER "[laughs] Nice try." [Walks away.]

Splinter laughed at the expression’s on his sons’ faces. “Do not worry my sons, you will get there someday.”

MIKEY "[Facing Raph.] We got the squillz, we got the tight color-coordinated team look."

RAPH "[Bumps fists with Mikey.] Let’s do it! Let’s go out and bust some bad guys!"

DONNIE "[Pops up in front of them with his tablet.] Yeah. I just feel like, you know, we need a case to get the juices flowing a little bit. You know, let’s see what the internet has to say about it, shall we . . ."

[Leo hops up from behind the easy chair and then flops over the back of it.]

MIKEY "Yo, Leo, we’re gonna be heroes!"

LEO "[Slithers down so he’s on his back on the chair seat.] Okay, what’s the plan? Solve the city’s rat problem?"

SPLINTER "[Tail flashes out and smacks Leo in the face, knocking him off the chair.] Hey now. I am standing right here."

They laughed as Leo groaned. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He grumbled.

RAPH "[Leo sits up, rubbing his head and Raph looks at him.] Pfft, no way. We’re crime fighters!"

DON "[Holding his tablet so the screen is visible.] Okay, check this out. The Spine Breaking Bandit!"

April winced. “I don’t think you guys are ready for that one.”

Donnie sighed. “That’s fair. I did not feel like going home with my bones broken.”

RAPH "[chuckles] Yeah. Go big or go home!"

LEO "[Slides in between Mikey and Don.] Yeah, go home on a stretcher. What else you got?"

DONNIE "[Sweeps finger across tablet to bring up another screen.] Uh, okay, here’s something. The Long Island Mangler!"

LEO "[Sets his hands on the screen.] Okay, Donnie. I appreciate you giving your best effort, but maybe we should save mangling and spine breaking for, I don’t know, our second day?"

[Brothers just stare at him for a second.]

“Excuse me for trying to keep us out of the hospital,” Leo grumbled.

“We can’t go to a hospital anyways.” Raph said, gesturing to himself. “Not with this.. whole situation. You made the right call.”

Leo stared at him for a moment before nodding. Raph sighed. It was obvious Leo wasn’t ready to talk to him yet, despite their little truce earlier. Raph couldn’t help but feel guilty. He knew that being leader caused a ton of pressure, he shouldn’t have yelled at Leo like that. He should apologize.

He looked at Leo who was focused on the screen. On second thought, maybe later.

DONNIE "[Changes screen again.] Mm, well, this one’s kind of lame. Someone stole paper from a delivery truck."

Mikey hummed. He wondered what would have happened if they didn’t go after the Foot that night. Would they have still stopped Shredder? Would they have even known about it?

LEO "[Snatches the tablet out of Don’s hands and strikes a pose.] Not on my watch! That’s exactly the kind of junior level mischief we can put an end to."

RAPH "Really? That’ll make us heroes? But it’s only paper."

LEO "[mutters] It’s only paper? [laughing and then says louder] I’m so sorry. Donnie, what did he just say? Did he say it’s only paper?"

DONNIE "Yup."

LEO "Did he say it’s only paper?"

DONNIE "Yes, he did."

LEO "Okay! [Pacing in front of his brothers.] That’s what they all say. You think the road to hero town is paved with real crime? No! It’s paved with the tears of the poor paper man. And who helps that guy? I’ll tell you who; we are who."

Donnie couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the grammar. This is why they should read something other than comics, he thought.

HIS BROTHERS "Yes!"

Leo grinned. This is why he’s the faceman, because at least he knows what he's doing, unlike being leader.

[Turtles running across the cities rooftops as music plays. They finally stop on one roof to look down. Don using his glasses.]

RAPH "What kind of weirdo steals paper?"

MIKEY "A dreamer. You look at a blank sheet and see nothing. They see possibilities . . . [Raph elbows him in the back.] Ack!"

Mikey shook his head. “I can’t believe you hate art, Raph. Shame on you.” Raph swatted at him with a pillow, Mikey dodged and stuck his tongue out at him.

“Boys,” Splinter said tiredly. They glared at each other before facing the screen.

DONNIE "There’s only one store they haven’t hit yet, and it is right over there . . . oh, convenient."

RAPH "How ‘bout we go stealth and make ‘em wish they stole toilet paper?" [Brothers chuckle.]

DONNIE "Okay."

[All leap down. Street view of two thieves stealing paper, both with flames burning above their heads. In the background the turtles are bracing themselves suspended above the street between two buildings.]

RAPH "[Mikey lands on Raph’s shell and he loses his grip and falls.] Whoa!" [Cat shrieks. Leo and Don jump down after their brothers.]

April snickered as the turtles looked down embarrassed. “Real smooth, guys.” Apparently training to be ninjas since they were tots would have made them more stealthy, but guess not.

FOOT LIEUTENANT "Hmm?"

FOOT BRUTE " Huh?" [Both leap in opposite directions as turtles charge at them.]

RAPH "You two go left. Mikey, go right. I’ll take the roof and swoop down like a boss!"

[Music plays as Leo and Donnie chase the Foot Lieutenant. Mikey throws his Kusari-fundo at the Foot Brute, but it wraps around a fire plug as the Brute rounds a corner.]

MIKEY "[Goes flying around, still caught on the fire plug.] Whoa!" [Mikey smashes right into Leo and Don. All groan as they lay in a pile.]

MIKEY "Where are they?"

DONNIE "[Bottom of pile.] That is you, right?"

RAPH "[Jumps off the top of a building directly above them.] Swoopin’ like a boss!"

LEO "[Waving his arms.] No, no, no! [Raph lands hard on all of them.] Ow!" [Turtles go flying everywhere and van goes screeching around a corner, back door open and paper flying all over. Van disappears.]

DONNIE "Uh, quick question. Did we seriously just get schooled by paper thieves?"

Maybe that was why Pops made Leo leader, Raph thought. Leo was a great planner, while Raph..was not. Maybe he was never cut out to be leader. He just wished Pops had told him that before he made Leo leader.

He frowned and looked away to see Leo giving him a questioning look. Raph waved him off. Leo narrowed his eyes but let it go.

RAPH "I don’t swoop like a boss. I swoop like a noob."

MIKEY "Man, this seemed like a really cool idea until we didn’t succeed at it."

LEO "[Stands up with sword on shoulder.] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Where’d my brothers go? [Points at Mikey with the pommel of his sword.] Mikey, where’s your . . . legendary optimism? [Mikey groans. Leo turns to point at Raph.]

Raph, where’s your, ya know, your go-getter attitude? [Grabs Raph by the shoulders and shakes him. Walks over to Don.] And Donnie, where’s your . . . your thing, your – emotionless passion?"

DONNIE "[Head down, speaks very quietly.] Here."

LEO "We can still catch these lame old paper crooks and be heroes!"

DONNIE "Yeah, that’s gonna be hard. This was the last paper store in town."

LEO "Hmm . . . Or was it?"

DONNIE "Yeah, I . . . I literally just said that."

[Dramatic music plays as an image of all four turtles carrying various supplies strike a pose. The turtles start building something. Raph holds up a gigantic salami and Leo cuts off this slices. Mikey sticks an ‘on sale’ sign on a pile of salami and on an advertisement board. Raph and Leo erect a large cardboard box that’s been cut to fit an alley entrance. A sign on it reads ‘Leo’s Paper Hut’. The pair slap hands.]

MIKEY "[sighs] It’s beautiful."

“It’s only made of cardboard, Mike.” Leo said with an amused grin.

“And? It’s still beautiful!”

[Donnie pops partway out of the door and slides the advertisement board into place on the sidewalk. Reenters fake store.]

DONNIE "Do you really think that this is going to hook the thieves? The only paper we have is made from salami which is round. Paper is not round."

“What about paper plates?” April asked. “Those are made of paper.”

“Ha!” Leo yelled triumphantly. “Donnie’s wrong!” Donnie hit him with a pillow.

LEO "Yes, it’ll work. Raph, stop eating the plan!" [Raph grunts as he chews off a chunk of salami.]

APRIL "[Approaches the fake store.] Phew. Okay. You can do this. [Enters store.] Hi, I’m here for the job interview . . . aw no. [Sees the turtles. Mikey pops up from behind the cash register wearing a fake nose and waves at her.] Man, I thought it was weird to have a job interview at midnight."

“How on earth did you fall for that?” Donnie asked, confused.

Raph snickered. “Are you that desperate for a job, April?”

“I was a broke highschool student! What would you have done?” She defended.

“Uh,” Leo started, “Not be broke?”

“Oh yes! Silly me! I should have thought of that!” She said sarcastically as Leo laughed.

MIKEY "[Looking at a clipboard.] Ah, Miss . . . O’Neil. [Sound of car approaching and then car lights flash across them.] Ah, customers!"

[Ducks behind counter.]

[Sound of brakes screeching. Headlights shine into store.]

MIKEY "[Pops out from under counter and startles April.] April, you’re hired! [Hands her a card.] Just follow the sales script and remember the customer is always right unless they’re a psychotic paper thief."

APRIL "Ah, okay."

MIKEY "[Dives under a large box marked ‘security’ with his brothers.] We’ll be in the back."

APRIL "Welcome to Leo’s Paper Hut. Can I interest you in our . . . ah! Mm-mm-mm!" [A large hand closes over her face.]

“Ah!” Mikey exclaimed with a hand on his chin. “So that’s what happened!”

MIKEY "[Inside the cardboard box with his brothers.] What is ‘mm-mm-mm’? [Looks at a card in his hand.] She’s supposed to say . . . paper!"

RAPH "[Grunting sounds from within as box moves around and then bursts open.] Get outta the way!" [Looks up and sees April tied up and suspended from the ceiling.]

MIKEY "April! The salami paper! It’s gone!"

April crossed her arms. “Thanks for being worried about me, Mike.” Mikey gave her a sheepish smile.

[Sound of engine starting. Van backs up, turns around and drives off with the tires screeching.]

LEO "No way!" [He grunts and kicks advertising board. Cardboard exterior falls down.]

APRIL "Mm! Mm! [Binding comes undone and she drops to the ground.] Ow."

LEO "This was supposed to be easy. How do we keep losing these clowns?"

DONNIE "Leo, do you really think I would have let you make salami paper without putting a tracer in it?" [Presses a button on his gauntlet. Something starts beeping in Raph’s stomach, making his stomach growl. Raph gasps and looks down.]

Donnie hummed. Putting trackers on his brothers is actually not a bad idea. Mikey gave him a suspicious look.

DONNIE "It’s okay. I put two."

[Music plays. Interior of van shows stacks of ‘paper’. Inside one stack Don’s beeper flashes and beeps, unheard by the occupants as the van continues on down the street. At a shipyard, the turtles lay in wait. Leo is staring at something through binoculars.]

LEO "Okay guys, this is our moment. They may have given us the slip before . . ."

MIKEY "[Jumps up.] Twice before!"

LEO "Thank you, Mikey. Twice before, but now we’ve got them cornered and there’s nothing that can stop us."

[Watches paper being loaded into a ship via conveyor belt. Interior of ship. Hatch door wheel begins spinning. Raph rolls in first, thudding into a wall. Then Leo cartwheels inside and Raph rolls past him, slamming into something before rising. Music plays as the turtles stare down through an open hatch into the hull of the ship. Below them, the two Foot stand amongst piles and piles of stolen paper. Leo leaps into the hull first.]

LEO "Okay, twerp and . . . [Brothers jump down. Foot Lieutenant turns and then Foot Brute turns.]. . . surprisingly big man. It’s four against two, so what say we just call it a day, right?"

MIKEY "Whoa! They’ve got footprints on their faces!"

RAPH "Uh, are those flames on their heads?"

DONNIE "Feels like a real hazard for a paper thief."

Splinter snorted. “That is why you’re the funny one, Purple.” Donnie gave everyone a smug grin.

FOOT BRUTE "You! I’m gonna grind your bones with my fists."

FOOT LIEUTENANT "Ooh, that’s inspired. We’re both gonna grind your bones."

RAPH "Right. Listen, bubs. Before we put our footprints on your faces, we gotta ask, what’s with all the paper?" [Music plays as Foot Lieutenant grabs a sheet of paper and quickly begins folding it. Finishes by holding up a tiny paper ninja.]

MIKEY "Yay, arts and crafts!" [Foot Lieutenant throws paper ninja at them. It transforms in midair, becoming as large as Raph.]

ALL "Whoa!" [Ninja rushes at them. Younger turtles dive out of the way, leaving Raph.]

“Raph, move!” April yelled, forgetting that this was in the past, and Raph was fine.

RAPH "Huh?" [Ninja slams into him, knocking Raph back against a wall and leaving a crater in the wall.]

DONNIE "Uh, hey, maybe we should fight now and register our amazement later?"

[Leo rushes the ninja. Swipes at it with his sword and it explodes into confetti.]

LEO "What?" [All groaning and spitting and swinging their arms as the particles rain down on them.]

They all cringed. “Oh, that's disgusting.” April shuddered.

RAPH "Ah, no!"

DONNIE "Nasty!"

LEO "It’s all in my mouth!"

MIKEY "Ah!"

LEO "Wait a minute, wait a minute! It’s just confetti!"

RAPH "Huh. Oh yeah."

DONNIE "Paper viscera."

[Back to Foot Lieutenant, who is forming more paper ninjas. Throws a handful at the turtles, all poof in midair to become full sized. Raph leaps at them, jumping and kicking and destroying them. Mikey standing on a balcony swings his weapon and destroys a ninja. A ninja grabs the cord and yanks Mikey towards it.]

MIKEY "Whoa! [Mikey hits the ground with a groan.] Oh, oh, oh!"

[Two foot come at him and he swings the Kusari-fundo upwards. It wraps around a pipe and lifts him. He spins around and shreds the ninjas, then shoots an okay symbol with his hand. Leo on balcony, going backwards as he slices the ninjas coming at him. Leo jumps down on a stack of papers.]

LEO "We’re getting nowhere fighting these guys. We gotta take out the source."

“Wow, Leo, you can be smart sometimes.” Donnie smirked. Leo gasped offended, before hitting Donnie with a pillow.

[Leo leaps towards the Foot Brute, who also has a sword. Their swords clash and then they’re swinging at each other. Leo slides back.]

LEO "Okay. You think you’re pretty good, huh?"

FOOT BRUTE "Indeed." [Leo kicks at his face. Foot Brute grabs his ankle, shoves it down, and then kicks Leo across the room. Leo lands upside down.]

LEO "You are good." [Paper begins whirling in a cyclone around the two Foot.]

RAPH "What?"

[Paper forms into a huge ninja that growls.]

ALL "Uh . . ." [Ninja reaches down and scoops up Leo, who strains but can’t get out of his grip.]

RAPH "Leo! Donnie, it’s pinata time!" [All three charge at the ninja. It hits the floor, trying to punch them, but they dodge. When the fist that’s holding Leo comes down, Don and Mikey pounce on it. They strain to hold on. The ninja growls and grabs them in its other hand.]

RAPH "Uh. Huh?" [Looks from the ninja to the two Foot. Sees the Foot Lieutenant chuckling and smashing his fists together. When he does that, so does the huge ninja. The three trapped turtles are all groaning. Raph charges.]

RAPH "Hero town! Population, me!"

[Foot Brute jumps in front of his Lieutenant. Raph plows into them, activating his force field. Grabs both of them and swings them around several times before releasing them. They fly screaming across the ship and hit a wall, both out cold. Raph looks with surprise at his tonfa, then looks up.]

They all cheered. “Woo! Go Raph!”

RAPH "Huh. Ah!"

[The huge paper ninja starts to fall, releasing the turtles. It crashes and paper goes whooshing in all directions, much of it spilling off the ship. Ship’s horn blasts. Interior shot; ship full of loose paper. Brothers gasp as they pop out from under the paper.]

LEO "Huh?" [Foot grunting as they push up through paper pile. Foot Brute quickly forms an origami swan, realizes his mistake, and begins manipulating the paper again.]

LEO "[After looking around him.] Hm. Mikey, the sprinklers!"

MIKEY "I’m on it!" [Flings his weapon at a sprinkler head. The sphere flames on and causes the sprinkler to activate. Alarms sound and water rains down on the paper. The paper becomes soggy and can’t be formed into anything.]

FOOT BRUTE "You may have shredded our plans for now. But next time, you will feel the fury of a thousand feet!"

FOOT LIEUTENANT "Ooh, you’re on fire today!"

“Literally.” Leo and Donnie said at the same time, before gasping and looking at each other.

“Don’t say it.” Donnie warned.

“Say what?” Leo asked innocently. “That we’re just like-”

“Don’t.”

“Twins?” Donnie let out a long-suffering sigh and pinched his nose as Leo cackled.

[Chuckling, he makes a form with the salami and tosses it at the turtles. A dripping, sloppy form stalks towards them.]

MIKEY "Ew! That’s nightmare fuel, man!"

[Suddenly it splats to the ground into hundreds of individual salami slices.]

DONNIE "Okay, salami origami doesn’t work."

RAPH "Hey, look. They vanished." [Raph points to a ladder. The Foot are gone.]

DONNIE "Then what are we looking at?"

[Music plays. Raph stares at the pile of salami.]

“Oh, don’t do what I think you’re gonna do,” April said with a hand covering her mouth in disgust. Raph whistled innocently as he avoided everyone’s eyes.

LEO "Oh. What is that? Don’t do it."

DONNIE "No."

LEO "Don’t do it. Don’t do it."

DONNIE "No."

LEO "Don’t do it."

DONNIE "No. Raph, no!"

LEO "Oh!" [Raph scoops up a handful of salami.]

“Oh, I can’t bear to see this again.”

DONNIE "Look at me. No! [Raph stuffs the salami in his mouth.] No!"

There were exclamations of disgust from around the room and Mikey threw a pillow at Raph who caught it and glared at him.

MIKEY "Ugh! Gross! Ugh. Oh."

RAPH "What? Five-second rule!"

“It’s literally soggy salami! That’s so gross!” groaned Mikey.

“Hey! It’s not my fault the salami was so good!” Raph said indignantly, while the others continued groaning.

MIKEY "So . . . does this count as a win?"

LEO "Well, I don’t know. Let’s think about it. Did the bad guys get their big supply of paper? Uh, no. Did they build their army of soldiers? [laughs] No. No, they didn’t. Are they otherwise thwarted, and we unscathed?"

BROTHERS "Yes!"

LEO "Hero mission accomplished, my friends!"

“You know, now that have advanced our ninjocity, we should go after that spine-breaking bandit.” Leo suggested.

Donnie groaned. “No thanks.”

ALL "Yeah!" [They all start rolling around on the paper together.]

The screen turned black.

“You guys were literally rolling around in soggy paper.”

“Yea, I know,” Raph shuddered. “It took forever gettin’ that stuff outta my shell.”

“I got so many paper cuts,” Mikey whined. He was never doing that again.

Episode 2: Part A is over. Start next one?

Leo gave Raph a look, making him freeze. He was hoping Leo would leave it alone. He ignored Leo’s staring and turned towards the screen. “Yea, we’re ready.”

Episode 2, Part B: Donnie’s Gifts.

Leo, Raph, and Mikey winced as Donnie sighed. They really didn’t want Donnie to know how much they didn’t like his gifts, even if it was a while ago. Now Leo knew why Donnie didn’t like emotions, because this was going to get emotional.

Chapter Text

[Opens with Mutant Silverfish screeching.]

RAPH "Okay, mutant silverfish, you’ve eaten people’s laundry for the last time!" [Raph strikes the silverfish and it drops the basket of laundry it’s holding and splits into two.]

Donnie groaned. He really did not want to relive this day. He was perfectly okay with not remembering this particular failure.

RAPH "What the . . . ?"

[The two silverfish are holding a pair of underwear between them. Raph hits them both with his tonfas and they split again so that there are now four silverfish. Screeching, they pounce on the underwear and start chewing.]

“You didn’t realize that they were multiplying?” April asked with amusement.

“Raph thought it was cool!” He grumbled. April grinned and poked Raph in his side. He swatted her away and she turned away with a cackle.

DON "[Flying up to his brother with his battle shell rotors.] Hey, Raph! Every time you smash them, they just split in two!"

RAPH "I know. Isn’t it cool?"

“Sigh, that just creates more problems,” Donnie said.

“Well, I know that now.” Raph crossed his arms.

DON "Think, Raph, think."

RAPH "Oh . . . I guess it does double the problem. Which means double the smashing!" [Starts smashing silverfish left and right. Suddenly there are dozens of them. Several of them leap on Raph and knock him down. They jump up and down on him and hit him.]

MIKEY "I got you, Raph. Oh! [Flings his Kusari-fundo at the silverfish.] This situation calls [the weapon wraps around the silverfish and he yanks them off Raph] for a dose of my psycho-acrobatics!"

[Mikey jumps around in the air and smashes face first into the bottom of a fire escape. With a groan he slides down and he and the silverfish land in a dumpster. The lid closes. The silverfish begin chittering and the dumpster hops from side to side. Mikey then comes flying out of the dumpster to hit the ground with silverfish clinging to him. They proceed to pound on him.

“Oh, yikes.” Splinter winced. “You boys need serious training.”

Mikey pouted. “Oh come on! This was years ago! We’re so much better now dad!”

“Actually,” Leo whispered to him, “This was barely a year ago.”

Mikey waved him off. “Schematics.”

Donnie facepalmed. “Semantics.” He corrected. Mikey rolled his eyes.

DON "Oh boy."

LEO "I got you, Mikey." [Slices one of the outlets off a fire hydrant. Water shoots out of it, hitting Mikey and knocking the silverfish off of him. Mikey crawls backwards towards Raph. Leo jumps down in front of his two brothers.]

LEO "Looks like these fish are [chuckles] wait for it, you’re gonna love this . . . all washed up."

April giggled and high-fived Leo as the others groaned.

RAPH AND MIKEY "Boo!"

“You guys just don’t appreciate comedy.”

“Comedy has to be funny, Nardo, and we all know dad jokes are one of the lowest forms of comedy.” Leo narrowed his eyes and got in his face.

“Oh, yeah?”

Donnie also narrowed his eyes, his hands inching towards a pillow. “Yeah,” he said challengingly. Then they both snatched up pillows and lunged at each other when they were both lifted into the air.

“Raph! How dare you interrupt our battle!” Donnie shrieked.

“Yea!” Leo yelled as he struggled in Raph’s grip. “I was going to teach Donnie a lesson!”

Raph shook his head. “We’re here to watch a show, not you two bozos bickering.” He set them back in their seats. “And if you two interrupt our show again, I’m making you both go to sleep at a normal time.”

The twins gasped in horror.

LEO "Okay, okay, okay, how ‘bout this. Those bugs are so wet . . . ."

[Silverfish all get up.]

DON "Uh, Leo."

LEO "[Silverfish pounce on him.] Ow!"

[Silverfish attack Raph and Mikey and all three are yelling and flailing about.]

DON "Ugh, this is getting old." [Transforms his bo into a chest mounted weapon that shoots tennis balls. The balls strike the silverfish, knocking them off of his brothers. Silverfish run away.]

“And that is why I prefer to use my tech over mystic powers.” Donnie said with a smirk. “Much more effective.” April rolled her eyes.

MIKEY "Mission accomplished!"

[Weapon transforms back into Don’s staff.]

RAPH "Whew. Nice hustle, Donnie. I knew we could deal with this as a team."

DON "Actually, it was pretty much just me, but segue, I think I have a little something to kick our skills into high gear."

Leo snorted. “Sounds like you have a bit of an ego there Don.”

“Well, duh.”

[Don presses a button on his wrist controller. There is a rumbling, whirring sound and a huge drill comes up through the pavement in the alley.]

“Woah,” April said. “That’s sick!”

MIKEY "What the what?"

LEO "Whoa!"

RAPH "Jumpin’ Jack Flash!"

MIKEY "[Rolls across the ground and hugs it.] It’s beautiful."

DON "No, no, no. Not that."

LEO "What do you mean not that? That should totally be the thing."

“I really can’t believe you only used it against Shredder,” Raph said as he shook his head.

“Ah, but my dear Raphael, it's only for hero poses. I can’t waste it on trivial things.” Leo and Mikey nodded their agreement. Raph sighed.

DON "No, no, no, that’s just a little . . . it’s in beta. Don’t worry about it. The real thing is much more personal and thoughtful, and I really hope you like it, ‘cause if you don’t I will just be crushed!"

RAPH "Donnie, just show it to us. I’m sure we’ll all love it!"

Raph rubbed the back of his head guiltily as Mikey and Leo shrunk in their seats.

DON "All right. Here it goes." [Presses another button.]

LEO "Okay, so we’re just moving past the drill?"

[Drill starts spinning and throws Mikey off of it. Opens and two yellow spotlights flash from the ends. Shelves pop up, each holding one item and a place card with his brother’s names on them.]

MIKEY "You even got my life colors right!"

LEO "Oh-ho-ho, wow! I don’t know what this is but it has got a lot of blinkity-blinks."

RAPH "Whoa, jazzy headgear!" [Music plays as the three turtles pose, wearing their gifts.]

Donnie sighed. He never knew how to put his love for his family into words so he found it was easier through gifts. Seeing his family’s faces lighting up when he builds something for them never fails to make him smile. It warmed his heart to know he was doing something good for them.

But ever since this day, Donnie wasn’t sure if his tech was good enough for his family.

DON "I’m so glad you like ‘em! Now let me show you how they work."[Silverfish screech in the distance.]

ALL "Huh?"

RAPH "What was that?" [They all start running towards the sound. Mikey stops to look up at a sign.]

MIKEY "Chateau Pretenche? I think I’ve heard of this place." [Don grabs him and yanks him over to join the rest of his brothers. They hear snorting and peer around a corner to see a large pig mutant in an alley.]

LEO "Another mutant? What’s his deal?"

[A silverfish hits the ground and rolls over, screeching as it starts to run. The pig mutant grabs it by its tail and tosses it into a bag.]

“That poor thing,” April shook her head sadly.

Donnie gave her a look. “It was literally attacking us earlier.”

RAPH "You know what, that guy looks like the Meat Sweats!" [They all laugh.]

[Meat Sweats tosses the bag over his shoulder and jumps into a tunnel opening. He’s so large he has to strain to get through. Cut to the underground subway tunnels. The turtles follow Meat Sweats, all of them sticking to the shadows. Train goes whooshing by. Zoom in on Meat Sweats’ home. He is humming to himself. Turtles hide behind oil barrels to watch him. Silverfish screech as they are dropped into a pot of liquid.]

MEAT SWEATS "[Licks his lips and begins seasoning the pot.] Mmm! A little salt. A pinch of savory. Lemon for the tang. [Closes the lid.] Unleash the flavor!"

MIKEY "Unleash the flavor? Omigosh! It’s Rupert Swaggart!"

RAPH "Oh, yeah! Uh, who’s that?"

MIKEY "The celebrity chef. Host of “Kondescending Kitchen”. The show where he screams at chefs until they give up their dreams? I love that guy!"

Splinter hid a laugh behind a paw.

[Flash to Mikey watching the show on his tablet.]

SWAGGERT "[In contestant's face and then slapping him with pork chop.] That’s not how you make a pork risotto! You have to pound it to unleash the flavor!”" [As he is slapping the contestant around, an oozesquito lands on his neck and pumps ooze into him. Shows Swaggert’s transformation. Camera man reacts as Swaggert begins growling. Audience starts screaming.]

DON "[Pops up to interrupt Mikey’s recall.] You saw a celebrity chef transform into a pig mutant and you didn’t tell anyone?"

MIKEY "I didn’t wanna burn my risotto! Chateau Pretenche is his restaurant. No wonder he’s here!" [Meat Sweats humming, lifts lid off pot.]

DON "Oh, he’s not gonna eat that bug, is he?"

[Meat Sweats’ arm transforms into tentacles. Growling and snorting, he puts the tentacles into the pot. Green glowing ooze travels up his arm.]

They all cried out in disgust.

“Why are you boys always encountering such nasty things!” Splinter yelled as they gagged.

MIKEY "Ugh! The bacteria!"

DON "Oh, that’s so much worse!"

MEAT SWEATS "[inhales] Ah ha! I feel the rush of your delicious energy. The herbs du provence, a nice touch. Hm? [Sniffs the air. Snorts.] Am I picking up the delightful aroma of mutant with an after-stench of turtle? I’m thinking lime turtle tenderloin over a bed of saffron rice."

MIKEY "Ooh, that sounds good!" [Don claps a hand over his mouth.]

DON "He’s talking about eating us!"

MIKEY "[Pulls Don’s hand away.] Excuse me for wanting to be eaten in style!"

“Yea, Donnie!” Mikey said, gesturing to the screen. “If I wanna die, I at least want to be delicious.”

Donnie closed his eyes and wished for brothers that weren’t insane.

[They hear the sound of heavy footfalls approaching. Meat Sweats is looking in their direction, a mallet in one hand and his tentacles twitching. He sniffs the air and then begins knocking barrels aside as he searches for the turtles. The brothers look at one another and then Raph leaps up.]

RAPH "Yeah! Ha! It’s time to mash this pig’s potatoes. Hot soup!" [Runs at Meat Sweats.]

HELMET "Charging the enemy?"

RAPH "What the . . . ? Hey, this thing talks?"[Trips and falls.]

HELMET "Perhaps you should reevaluate?"

RAPH "[stands up] Uh, Donnie, the helmet’s talking to me!" [Grunts as Meat Sweats hits him.]

Donnie looked away. “It was supposed to help you make better plans during a battle.”

Raph wilted. “I thought I made good plans.” He really wasn’t that bad of a leader was he?

DON "Oh, goody! It’s working!"

RAPH "[Meat Sweats chasing him.] Hey! Whoa!" [Raph holds up tonfas, they glow and Meat Sweats hits them, glow disappears and Raph falls. Meat Sweats picks him up, spins him around and flings him into a barrel.]

HELMET "Your opponent is quite strong. [Raph dodges the mallet.] Consider other options."

RAPH "How’s this for options . . . smash, and bash!" [Raph hits him with the mystical energy of the tonfas. Meat Sweats splits into multiple smaller parts.]

MINI-MEAT SWEATS "Time to unleash the flavor!"

[Raph runs past with minis hanging off of him.]

RAPH "Ow! Hey, stop it! Ow!"

DON "Fascinating. He must have absorbed the silverfish’s powers. This represents a new level of mutant abilities!"

[Mini-Meat Sweats spots Don. Is squealing and snorting. Dozens of minis line up behind the first one. Leo and Mikey run by with minis chasing them. Next comes Raph with minis clinging to him. Then Don is grabbed by the ankle and pulled to the ground. The minis drag him off. Mikey runs up the side of a steel girder, pushes off and jumps down at a mini.]

SUIT "Impact imminent." [Suit inflates around Mikey.]

MIKEY "What the . . . ? [Hits the ground and bounces.] This totally messed up my scene!"

Donnie grimaced. He knew his brothers didn’t like the gifts, that was obvious. But he had hoped that they at least helped a little bit.

[Leo fends of a group of minis stacked on each other’s shoulders, then turns to face another stack. Stops to lean on his sword.]

LEO "You’ll beat me . . . [they swing a mallet at him and he ducks under it, kicking them aside]. . . when pigs fly! [Electricity starts crackling as his collar shocks him.]

Okay, Donnie thought, maybe that one wasn’t exactly helping. He really did want to help Leo with that one, but maybe he should have thought more about the design.

What was that? [Mikey bounces by. Leo fights more minis.]

These little piggies are gonna cry wee-wee-wee . . . [Gets shocked again. Lying on ground, battered.] This thing doesn’t like my one-liners?"

[Whirring sound overhead. Leo looks up to see Mikey falling towards him. Leo up on all fours trying to crawl out of the way, but Mikey lands on him. Train goes whooshing by. Minis stare at it, all of them squealing. Mikey and Leo bounce across the train tracks, both yelling and groaning. They hit the ground.]

LEO "Dude, Mikey, what did you do?"

MIKEY "I don’t know! It’s this suit! Every time I do some razzamatazz, this thing inflates and throws me off my game! I need my razz and my tazz!"

LEO "And every time I drop a killer joke bomb, this stupid collar zaps me!"

RAPH "[Pops up in train car window behind them.] Well, my gift just keeps nagging me. I don’t need to be told how to think!"

MIKEY "Does Donnie really think I’m a crazy kangaroo who needs to wear a padded suit so I don’t hurt myself?"

RAPH "Yeah, does he really think I need to be told what to do all the time?"

LEO "Right? And who doesn’t love my one-liners? They fire up the team, right guys?" [Leo looks over at his brothers who say nothing.]

“Donnie,” Mikey said, “I know you were just looking out for us, but I don’t need to be babied. You guys are always treating me like I can’t handle myself.” He puffed out his chest. “But I went up against Shredder! I’m not a baby anymore!”

Raph looked at his hands. “Raph knows he doesn’t make the best decisions sometimes, but I have been at this leader thing for years, and I need you to be able to trust my plans, so no one gets hurt.”

Donnie blinked. “I didn’t mean-” He cut himself off and looked at Leo. “I didn’t mean to make a shock collar, Newton, Leo, I didn’t-”

Leo grinned at him. “Don’t worry, Don-Tron, it didn’t hurt as much as it looked. It’s alright-”

“No! It’s not alright!” Donnie swallowed. “I made those gifts thinking I was protecting you guys. I wasn’t thinking about what you guys would think and that hurt you.” He took off his goggles. “I hurt you.” He wanted to help his brothers with his tech, the only thing he’s good at, and he failed. “I’m sorry.”

“Woah, woah, hey.” Leo put a hand on his shoulder. “Okay, I admit, the shock collar made me feel not great, but I know you didn’t do it intentionally. You were doing it out of love right?” Donnie nodded. “Okay, and you promise not to do it again?” Donnie nodded again, but this time he looked confused. Leo clapped his hands. “Then it's done! We all forgive you.”

“You-what?”

“Yup!” Leo said as he looked at everyone else. “Right?” Raph and Mikey nodded with Mikey giving a thumbs up while Raph smiled.

“You forgive me?”

Leo rolled his eyes and he pulled Donnie into a hug. “Of course, you big dummy. How is it that with your big brain you thought we wouldn’t?” Mikey wiggled between them making them both laugh and Raph wrapped his arms around them. April smiled and took a picture and Splinter smiled proudly.

His boys were growing up.

LEO "Anyway, we need to tell Donnie that he doesn’t get to tell us what to be."

RAPH "Yeah, I know. But he’s got such a softshell."

“Did you just make a pun?”

Raph looked away. “No.” Leo was rubbing off on him.

LEO "But it’s like he’s trying to fix us. What are we, broken?"

BOTH "No."

Donnie winced, guilt swirling in his stomach. “I’m sorr-”

Mikey covered his mouth with his hand. “Nope! You already apologized, we hugged and may have cried-”

“No one cried.”

“-and now we’re all good again! You don’t need to apologize anymore. Unless you want me to get Dr. Feelings.” Donnie frantically shook his head. “Good.”

MIKEY "So what’re you gonna do about it, leader? Huh? You gonna stand up and tell him his gifts stink?"

RAPH "Yeah! Yeah, I think I am! [His cell phone begins ringing. Display says ‘Donnie’.] It’s him."

MIKEY "Oh, he’s so gonna get it."

Donnie chuckled. Mikey can be so aggressive when he’s angry.

RAPH "[Answers phone and quickly turns his back on his brothers. Speaks in a very soft voice.] Ooh, hey buddy! Hey, um. Really loving the gifts you got us. [Chuckles. Brothers frown as they look at him through the window.] Yeah, we . . . we know how long it took you to make ‘em and it was so thoughtful."

“Ah, so that’s why you were talking to me like I was a baby while I was getting cooked alive.”

Raph made an offended noise. “I was panicking!”

MIKEY "[Waving to try and get Raph’s attention.] Mm-mm."

RAPH "But, uh. Uh, what’s that? Hang on, hang on. I’m gonna put you on speaker."

DON "[screams] Where did you guys go? They’re all over me! They’re gonna cook me alive! Aah!" [Scene shifts to Meat Sweats. Minis rebuild back into the larger version.]

MEAT SWEATS "Mmm. A delicate soft shell. A sprinkle of paprika should unleash the flavor!"

Splinter’s stomach rumbled. “All this food talk is getting me hungry.”

HELMET "[As Raph is scanning the situation.] Hey, Raph, you need a plan."

RAPH "Okay. Now according to Donnie’s condescending hat, I need to make a plan."

LEO "What do you got?"

RAPH "[Sits down and concentrates. Nothing happens.] I’m not good at making plans!"

MIKEY "[As Leo groans.] Of course you’re not! And I’m not good at fighting if I can’t razzamatazz!"

DON "[screaming] I’m still on speaker!"

LEO "And I’m not good at suppressing my lightning wit. The point is, who are we? We are who we are."

RAPH "Yeah. [Visor on helmet lifts.] And the only way we’re gonna save the guy who’s roasting on a spit, is by being we."[Music plays and they all stack hands. Back to Meat Sweats who is humming as he chops up a carrot. Don, tied with sausage links to a spit behind him, is struggling to get free.]

Mikey groaned as he patted his stomach. “Man, now I’m getting hungry!”

“How is me getting roasted on a spit making you hungry?” He saw the look on Mikey’s face. “You know what, nevermind, I don’t want to know.”

MIKEY "Hey! Meat Sweats!"

RAPH "Distraction-jitsu!" [Raph makes a shadow puppet on a trailer wall. Meat Sweat snorts and spins around to see that Don is gone.]

MEAT SWEATS "Come back! I used an entire pound of butter on him!" [Meat Sweats throws barrels at Raph and then chases after him. Raph runs with Don over his shoulder. Meat Sweats follows, growling. Train goes whooshing by and Meat Sweats stops. Leo pops up behind him, minus his collar.]

LEO "Hey, Meat Sweats . . . Looks like you’re about to get some shocking news!" [Pulls open back of mutant’s pants and drops the collar in. Electricity crackles and Meat Sweats gets shocked.]

LEO "Oh, ho, ho. I love the smell of frying bacon in the morning." [Mini shocks hit Meat Sweats. Train goes whooshing by as Leo strikes a pose.]

“It was frying him?” April asked incredulously, “How high was that voltage?”

Donnie shrunk in his seat. “I don’t think I put it that high.”

MEAT SWEATS "[speaking weakly] I must admit, I do smell delicious."

DON "Huh? Wait, what are you doing?"

LEO "I’m getting the most out of your gift, Donnie. Check it out. Hey, Meat Sweats, I hear baloney is full of you!" [Meat Sweats screams as electricity hits him and then he falls to the ground.]

DON "Hey, no, that’s not how . . . ."

LEO "He’s getting a little hot under his . . . ."

[Meat Sweats punches him. Above Meat Sweats, Mikey stands on a girder.]

MIKEY "Chef Swaggart! Oh! Big fan. I was wondering, um, how do you get your meat so tender?"

“Really, Miguel?” Leo asked bemused.

“He’s my idol!” Mikey defended.

MEAT SWEATS "[spins around] You’ve got to pound it!" [Snorts as he looks up. Mikey comes spinning down towards him.]

SUIT "Impact imminent."

MIKEY "[Falling spread eagled.] Whoo! Ah, yeah!"

[Suit expands. Mikey bounces off of Meat Sweats numerous times, sending him flying into a train car. Meat Sweats hits the car and knocks it off the tracks with a small explosion.]

April shuddered, “How did you not get a headache from that?” Mikey shrugged.

[Mikey and Leo bump fists. Don hops up to them, still tied in sausages.]

DON "Hey, hey, hey, that is not how you were supposed to use those! I spent a lot of time on . . ."

[Thudding sound interrupts him.]

MIKEY "Oh!"

[Another thud and the Meat Sweats breaks open the side of the train car with his mallet. Brothers gasp in surprise. Growling, Meat Sweats climbs onto the side of the car just as a train goes whooshing by. When the train vanishes, Meat Sweats is no longer there.]

MIKEY "Uh-oh!" [Meat Sweats growls as he jumps down from an overhead girder at the three turtles.]

MIKEY "Omigosh!"

[Mikey and Leo run away, leaving Don sitting on the ground.]

“You know, its really nice that you guys left me there. That’s sarcasm just so you know.”

Leo huffed. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t be tied up in sausages.”

“Wow, that is so helpful.”

Meat Sweats swings his mallet at Don but Raph blocks the strike with his mystic tonfas. Begins punching Meat Sweats. Knocks him back.]

RAPH "Whoo!" [Raph waves his arms and then Meat Sweats suddenly grabs him around the face and begins smacking him on the ground. Tries to smash him with the mallet, but Raph backflips out of the way. Raph jumps at him, smashing down with his weapons, and Meat Sweats flies back. Raph chuckles.]

HELMET "Hey, Raph. You need a plan."

RAPH: AH!

[Clutches at the helmet. Meat Sweats runs at him, holding the mallet ready. Raph removes the helmet from his head and puts it on his fist.]

HELMET "Bad plan!"

RAPH "[He and Meat Sweats leap at each other.] Hot Soup!" [Raph punches Meat Sweats in the face with the helmet, cracking it and sending Meat Sweats flying into the front of a moving train.]

“Thank you for destroying the gifts I worked so tirelessly on.”

“You’re welcome.” Leo replied.

MEAT SWEATS "Aaaah! Rubbish!" [Raph lifts his fist, which is still wearing the helmet in front of Don’s face and moves it as though it’s talking.]

RAPH "Donnie, your gifts really brought out the best in us."

LEO "I’m funnier!"

MIKEY "I’m bouncier!"

RAPH "And I’m smash-ier! Your gifts are the stuff!"

DON "But you were supposed to . . . ah, forget it. You guys are great the way you are. Bring it in. Group hug."

[They all hug.]

SUIT "Impact imminent."

[Their eyes all pop open in shock.]

[End credits roll]

They all burst into laughter.

“I forgot about that,” Raph admitted.

“Really?” Leo asked. “I sure remember getting my beautiful face smashed into a wall.”

“What beautiful face?” Mikey smirked. “You mean you? Uh, I think it's clear I’m the pretty one of the family.”

Leo scoffed. “You? Don’t make me laugh, little brother. I’m the pretty one, no competition.”

“Oh yeah?” Mikey challenged, leaning towards him.

“Yeah,” Leo said, getting into his space, glaring at Mikey.

Raph got between them. “Okay enough. Leo, stop picking fights with people. Mikey, stop being a menace.”

“He started it!” Leo pointed at Mikey. Raph sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time that day.

“It’s not my fault I’m pretty!” Mikey whined. Then his stomach growled and everyone stared at him. He pouted.

“What? I’m hungry!”

“Yea, and we all know what happens when you’re hungry,” Donnie said. “You start to get hangry.”

“I do not get hangry."

“You’re literally trying to smack Leo.” Mikey stopped his hand midair and Leo glared at him offended.

April looked around the theater. “Do you think there’s any food in here?” Suddenly, pizza boxes appeared in front of them, making them jump.

Ohmigosh!” Mikey yelled and dived for the boxes. The others shook their heads and made their ways to the boxes but Raph stopped Leo with a hand on his shoulder.

Leo looked at him curiously, squashing down the rising anxiety. “What's wrong, big guy?”

Raph fidgeted nervously, tapping his fingers together. “I, uh, I think we need to talk.” Leo winced.

“Do we have to?” He asked. Raph took a deep breath.

“Yes, we do.”

Leo sighed. “Can we do this later?” He looked at where everyone else was eating. “I haven’t had my beautiful Hawaiian pizza and I can’t be blamed for what I’m gonna do if I don’t get a slice”

Raph chuckled. “Of course, little brother. We can wait.” He smiled at Leo who smiled back before they both grabbed a slice and sat back down, waiting for another episode to start.

Episode 3, Part A: War and Pizza