Chapter Text
“Are they almost here yet?” Chris groaned. “It’s hot as hell out here!” He shielded his eyes from the afternoon sun, and shifted his gaze over to Jimmy.
“Yeah, they’ve been here for half an hour.” Jimmy stated, eyes glued to his cellphone.
“They what‽”
Jimmy flinched at his friend’s distressed tone. If he had to guess, he’d say the entire beach had heard him. Chris ought to relax. He was on an island after all. The white sands gleamed in the sunlight, caressing their bare feet, and the low tide lazily washed up the shore. The salty scent of the ocean soothed Jimmy’s brazen nostrils. Fine, it was hot out here. But with their friends and the camera crew to keep them company, multiple canopies dotting the beach, and coolers filled with snacks and refreshments, waiting shouldn’t have been a problem. It was only expected. But this time around seemed to be different.
“What are we even doing here, Jimmy?” Chandler strolled up to them, his sun burnt skin painting him red as a tomato. Like Chris, he wore a big pair of sunglasses. “Are you giving away another island?”
“Yeah,” Chris chimed in. “You never did tell us what this one would be about.”
Right. Jimmy supposed not knowing exactly what you were waiting for only exacerbated the process. But this new video idea was genius, out of the ordinary, something no one had ever seen before. To tell them now would ruin the surprise. Jimmy checked his phone to ensure the message he’d sent to his crew was delivered. It was, and a swift reply letting him know the contestants would be arriving soon popped up. Jimmy huffed a sigh of relief, and looked up at his friends. Now to deal with these guys.
“Contest for $1,000,000.” Jimmy finally admitted with an easy grin. Chris rolled his eyes, and Chandler opened his mouth to reprimand him.
“Why couldn’t you just say that?” He asked.
“But, you didn’t let me finish. There’s something… interesting about the contestants.”
“What?” Chis demanded.
“That’s a surprise,” Jimmy threw his hands up. “I can’t say anymore.”
“Could you just give us a clue? One clue?” Chandler pleaded.
“Nope,” Jimmy shook his head.
“God dammit!” Chis stamped his foot on the ground. “We’ve been out here on this hot ass beach all morning, and we can’t even know who’s competing in the contest? These better be some fucking legends!”
“I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.” Jimmy shrugged.
“I don’t think that’s gonna do anything for my skin.” Chandler sucked his teeth, and examined his arms.
“I gotchu, bro!” Karl exclaimed. He stepped up to the group, Nolan trailing behind him, and tossed Chandler a bottle of aloe vera gel.
“And where have you two been for the last five hours?” Chris demanded. Nolan grinned.
“Digging a hole.” Everyone groaned at the response.
“Hey, that’s the competitors’ job!” Jimmy chastised.
“Beats standing out here all day,” Chris muttered.
“I don’t know why you guys are complaining; you asked to come along.” Jimmy pointed out.
“That was before I knew about all this!” Chris snapped back.
“We dug our hole under one of the canopies, Chris. You’re welcome to come back with us.” Karl offered.
“We have snacks,” Nolan added.
“Got any ice water?” Chris tried.
“Didn’t all the ice melt like two hours ago?” Chandler thought aloud as he worked the gel into his weathered skin. Chris collapsed right then and there. He was still very much conscious, but unwilling to move as he cursed the sun for simply existing.
“I hate it here,” he groaned.
“Hey, while you’re down there, could you get my legs for me?” Chandler asked, tossing Chris the bottle of aloe vera gel. Chris accepted it, and sat up. He glared at Jimmy as he squeezed some of the gel onto his hand.
“They’d better get here in the next five minutes.” Chris’ voice shook in anger.
“Trust me,” Jimmy cut himself off at the sound of rustling branches. Just then, 12 figures wearing white bed sheets emerged from the trees, a guide at each of their sides. Chris’ jaw dropped.
🤥🤥🤥
Once the contestants were situated, the filming commenced.
Jimmy threw on his jovial MrBeast persona, and quickly explained the challenge with exaggerated hand movements. “Today, these 12 competitors are going to be going head to head in a competition for a grand prize of $1,000,000! As two teams, they’ll compete against each other in a daily challenge. My friends and I will be deciding the winners, and the team who loses at the end of the day has to send one of their members home! This will go on until day 7, when there are six players left! Then,” Jimmy grinned, “it’s free for all. After that, things are gonna get brutal!” The entire time, his friend’s eyes were trained on the figures in the bed sheets. He finally motioned behind him, presenting the cloaked contestants to the camera. “And you may be wondering, ‘Who are these mysterious figures behind me?’”
“I am!” Chris shouted.
“Well, these are our contestants! But they’re not just any random subscribers, or famous YouTubers or anything like that,” Jimmy explained.
“Who are they?” Karl piped up. Jimmy grinned, and turned to the contestants.
“Gentlemen! Show yourselves!”
Pure confusion, shock, and wonder transpired throughout the group the minute the contestants removed their cloaks. Because side by side stood 12 near identical looking animated figures, well, besides the three humans. They were all variations, with their different little quirks and character designs, of the legendary Pinocchio.
Chris snatched off his sunglasses, dumbfounded by the sight. “Is that Pinocchio?” He shouted.
“I think they’re all Pinocchio,” Chandler gaped. The Pinocchios in question all exchanged glances, uncomfortable in one another’s presence.
“I didn’t know there were 12 Pinocchios!” Karl exclaimed.
“There are 32, actually,” Jimmy stated.
“What‽” Nolan exclaimed.
“32 movies,” Chris repeated. “Off of this guy?” He motioned to the group of Pinocchios.
“Uhm, excuse me,” the first Pinocchio raised his hand, and spoke with a feeble voice. “But…what is a movie?”
“Who the hell is that?” Chris demanded.
“This, my friends, is the original Pinocchio!” Jimmy exclaimed. He stepped over to the little pencil drawing of the guy. Pinocchio stood small, hand gripping his arm as he gazed up at Jimmy. His wooden knees trembled, and his eyebrows were upturned in fear. The very watercolor of his outfit and wood exterior seemed to pale by the moment. “The guy who started it all, the Pinocchio of all Pinocchios. Made in 1883 in a book called The Adventures of Pinocchio . ” Jimmy informed, patting the trembling puppet on the head.
“He definitely… looks original,” Chandler observed.
“W-What is that thing?” Pinocchio pointed a shaky finger toward the camera in the cameraman’s hands.
“Don’t worry about it,” Jimmy waved him off. He turned back to the camera. “Since all of these guys’ names are, well, Pinocchio, I’ve decided to give everyone a nickname.”
“I think it’s pretty easy to see that none of us are anything alike!” The 2D Disney Pinocchio shouted. Jimmy ignored him, and turned back to a still frightened Pinocchio.
“Since you’re the OG, we’re just gonna call you ‘Pinocchio.’ Simple.” Jimmy declared. Pinocchio seemed to relax a little at this, and nodded.
Jimmy moved on to the next Pinocchio. “And this guy is from the 1911 Silent Pinocchio,” Jimmy exclaimed, motioning to the man behind him. This Pinocchio was human, and only a couple inches shorter than Jimmy. He looked as though he’d just stepped out of a black and white photo, and his costume and makeup were less than flattering. He crossed his arms over his chest, and stuck up his nose. The Silent Pinocchio spoke, but no words came out. Instead, they appeared in the air below him like subtitles on a screen. You’d best believe I’ll be anything but silent about this! Chris snorted.
“He can’t even talk! How’s this gonna work, Jimmy?” He grinned.
“I dunno,” Jimmy shrugged. “Learn to read the subtitles I guess.”
“But like, everyone knows dubbed is better-” Nolan began.
“No!” A collective shout rose up from the group. Only a short screaming match followed, though apparently not short enough for Silent Pinocchio. Look at you all, arguing like a bunch of hooligans! I refuse to have my time wasted this way! Get it together! He sneered. Chris put his hands on his hips.
“That’s a lot to say coming from you. Everyone’s gotta waste reading your subtitles. I think your time can wait on the hosts'.” Chris spat. The Silent Pinocchio’s fists balled at his sides.
“What’s his nickname gonna be?” Karl asked.
“Mime Boy,” Jimmy stated. The Silent Pinocchio’s eyes widened in rage. A mime? You mean like one of those freaks who can’t talk and walk around drawing boxes in the air? He gritted his teeth. You dare name me after such a thing? Why, you-
“Alright! Let’s move on to the next one!” Jimmy swished past Mime Boy, and stood before the next Pinocchio. Jimmy grinned and motioned to the little animated figure that barely reached his waist. “This Pinocchio is from Disney’s 1940 classic Pinocchio, the one that I’m sure everyone knows.” He grinned, and turned to the boy. “It’s truly an honor. We’re so happy to have a chance to meet you.”
“Better be.” Pinocchio crossed his arms. “I am the best one here, after all.”
“Okay,” Jimmy laughed. “So you think you’ll win the money then? No doubt about it?”
“Absolutely.”
“Who’s your favorite adaptation here?” Jimmy prompted.
“Me!” Pinocchio scoffed.
Tsk. Brat. Mime Boy sneered. “Alright, a little self confidence, nothing wrong with that.” Jimmy nodded. “Well, your nickname will be ‘Nocchio. I hope that’s good enough for you.”
“Hmm, fine.” The boy shrugged, a hint of disgust in his voice.
The next Pinocchios went as follows. The Pinocchio from Pinocchio in Outer Space (1965) would be nicknamed ‘Space Boy.’ The one from Pinocchio’s Revenge (1996), a sentient doll with no way of communication, would be nicknamed ‘Doll Boy.’ The one from the Shrek Saga (2001-2010) would be nicknamed ‘Shre(k)nocchio.’ The human Pinocchio from Pinocchio (2002) would be dubbed ‘Old Boy.’ And the Pinocchio from Pinocchio 3000 (2004) would be named ‘Robot Boy.’
Jimmy stepped up to the third of the humans, and probably the strangest addition to the 12 Pinocchios. “And this,” Jimmy began, motioning to the woman behind him, “is Pinocchio from the Korean TV series, Pinocchio (2014). We have nicknamed her: ‘Pinoccho-Girl.’”
“Alright, first of all, this is all a big misunderstanding!” She began. “I don’t even know why I’m here! I’m not even a Pinocchio. And please don’t call me that; In-ha works just fine.”
“But…aren’t you in a show called Pinocchio?” Karl asked. In-ha rested her face in her hand.
“Yes, but it has nothing to do with Pinocchio! I just have Pinocchio syndrome!” She explained. A collective “Oh!” rose up from the group.
“But you’re still cool with having the chance to win $1,000,000 right?” Jimmy asked.
“Oh, for sure.” In-ha nodded.
“Cool, we still get to call you ‘Pinoccho-Girl’ though.” Jimmy clarified.
“No, wait! It’s In-”
But the group had already moved on to the next Pinocchio before she finished her sentence. “And here we have the Pinocchio from Disney’s live action remake, Pinocchio (2022)” He exclaimed. “I’ve meditated on it a bit, and I think it would be most fitting that he be called ‘Midocchio.’”
“What?” Midocchio exclaimed. “I’m not mid!”
“Yes you are! You are literally a 3D version of me!” ‘Nocchio shouted from down the line.
“We were drawn on the same sketchpad!” Midocchio yelled back. “Cut me some slack!”
“Your movie is like my movie’s discount cousin!” ‘Nocchio spat.
“Oh yeah? Well, your movie has… drugs and alcohol in it.”
“Your movie has no moral lesson!”
“Your movie gave kids nightmares!”
“Your movie put kids to sleep, and their dreams were more entertaining than all of your action scenes combined!”
Everyone was losing their minds over the bickering. A combination of oohs and ahhs, laughter, and general rowdiness set the group a-stir. “Alright, alright!” Jimmy shouted over the chaos. “Midocchio, how about this: I will change your nickname if-”
“How? What do I have to do?” The boy was adamant.
“If you win the competition.” Jimmy finished with a grin. Everyone snickered at this.
“Fine! I’ll do it; I’ll win!” Midocchio declared.
The next Pinocchio stood a whole head and shoulders taller than Midocchio, though still shorter than Jimmy. “And this is the most meme-able of the bunch,” Jimmy began, motioning to the boy behind him. “Pinocchio from Pinocchio: A True Story (2022)”
“Hello, hello,” he waved proudly. “And I’m just so happy to meet you, Mr. MrBeast.”
“Why is he blond?” ‘Nocchio wondered aloud.
“Why is he tall?” Midocchio asked sadly, looking over his own short frame.
“I-I think you’re only supposed to say ‘mister’ one time!” Pinocchio shouted weakly.
Blond Pinocchio opened his mouth to reply, but not before Karl walked up to him, the biggest grin on his face. “Y-You’re real…” Karl breathed.
“Well I’d sure hope so!” Blond Pinocchio laughed.
“C-Can you say it? S-Say the line f-for me?”
“Huh? What line?”
Nolan, who’d been beside Karl, rolled his eyes, and walked up to the Blond Pinocchio. He whispered something in his ear, and Pinocchio’s face lit up in realization when Nolan pulled away. “Ohhhh!” He smiled. “Yes, of course! Anything for a fan. Just let me get into character real quick.” Karl put both hands over his heart, and watched intently as Blond Pinocchio turned his back toward him. Everyone watched now as the boy took a few deep breaths, and turned gracefully as he recited his famous line. With the utmost passion, Blond Pinocchio whined. “Father, tell me, when can I leave to be on my own? I’ve got the whole worldussy!”
Karl shook and squealed at the exquisite delivery. He cried tears of pure joy, and breathed heavily as he praised his favorite Pinocchio. “That was beautiful! So beautiful…” he barely got the words out before fainting. Jimmy and Nolan lunged to the rescue, and caught Karl before he plummeted to the ground. He was in a half conscious state, red in the face, and muttering something inaudible.
“Oh my!” Blond Pinocchio gasped. “Is he okay?”
“Y-Yeah! He’s fine.” Nolan responded as he struggled to keep Karl upright. “He just wants you to know that he loves you, loves your movie, all that jazz.”
“Oh, well you tell Karl whenever he wakes up that I thank him from the bottom of my heart!”
“Yep,” Nolan nodded. They ultimately allowed Karl to lay down on a beach towel while he recovered. Blond Pinocchio was dubbed ‘Meme Boy.’
“And finally, last but not least, we have the Pinocchio from Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022): ‘Stick Boy.’” Jimmy said, motioning to the puppet behind him.
“Might I ask why you chose that name-” Stick Boy was cut off as everyone transitioned into the next segment.
“With everyone introduced, it’s time to put you in teams!” Jimmy announced. “I will hand you a card with a random number on it. Depending on the number, you will stand in either circle. 1 is green, 2 is pink. Does everybody understand?” With a collective nod, the drawing commenced.
After a few minutes, the teams were all set, and went as follows:
“Alright, Pinocchios. Look at the people around you. Are you happy with your assigned teams?” Jimmy prompted.
“No!” ‘Nocchio shouted. Miscellaneous other protests followed, but Jimmy persisted.
“Alright, alright. You don’t have to like your teams now. In fact, in 7 days, you get to ditch them for the final rounds. But you actually have to survive for that long.” He said. “For now, connect with each other. It’s all about teamwork up until then. Which starts with being united, and picking a team name.” Immediately, the extroverts of the group spoke up. They began with simple ideas. Things that sounded cool, themes, names in regards to their team color. When finally, after a long while of chatter, both teams claimed to be set.
“We are The Trailblazers, and I am the leader!” Shre(k)nocchio stepped forward from the green team, and declared. Jimmy nodded, and turned towards the pink team.
“We are the Six of Crows, and with Pinoccho-Girl as my co-leader, I declare we are ready for battle!” Meme Boy stepped up from the pink team, and thrust In-ha’s hand up along with his own.
“It’s In-ha!” She exclaimed.
“Alright,” Jimmy began, turning to the camera. “We’ve got The Trailblazers and the Six of Crows. And with nothing more, I say we let the games begin!” He shouted. “May the best Pinocchio win!”