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Chapter Text

I suddenly woke in a cold sweat, finding myself staring at the floor struggling to regain composure and level my breathing. It had been the same dream that had haunted me since escaping Ul’dah, the vision of your fellow Scions being dragged into darkness as you stand helpless, unable to force your body to move or voice to make a sound. It had become a nightly ritual in my few days since arriving at Camp Dragonhead along with Tataru and Alphinaud. Both were shaken by the ordeal although none of us had spoken of it since the night it happened, all of us seemed to be trying to find our own way of coping.

As I attempted to gather myself I heard a light knock upon the door, shortly followed by its opening to reveal Tataru. “Ah, I had hoped you’d be awake-“. She paused as she stared at my face, seemingly trying to read my expression. “Did you not sleep well?” She was perceptive as usual, even when it came to me “Oh, no I was just...” I trailed off, I didn’t want to worry her further than she undoubtedly was already. My only option was to conjure a believable lie, “I was just wondering what was for breakfast today?” The tension on Tataru’s face immediately dispersed as she laughed, “I’m glad, that’s what I was here for! I wondered if you’d like to eat together.” I was relieved she hadn’t pried further though I doubted she was entirely convinced that I was merely longing for food. Her voice grew quiet as her eyes drifted to her feet “Actually, I had hoped you could help me…you see, Alphinaud...” her voice waivered “he still hasn’t left his room…and I…we could…perhaps ask him if he wished to join us…” she croaked, holding back tears.

Alphinaud had been the most affected by the recent events, his usual sharp wit and charm had all but dissipated as he blamed himself for what had befallen the others at the hands of the syndicate and the Crystal Braves. This led to him staying in his room, his meals being taken to his door, although these were largely left untouched. He hadn’t even made an appearance, neither of us seeing him since the night of our arrival. After being so close, having this distance between us felt alien. I doubted the likelihood that we would be able to convince him to join us in the dining hall, although there was something we hadn’t yet tried.

“I wonder if we could convince him to let us eat in his room together.” I pondered as Tataru’s tearful eyes shifted to me, seemingly shocked but delighted by the idea. “Of course! That way we can make sure he eats his as well!” Visibly relieved, she waited impatiently by the door as I changed eager to test my idea.

As we carried the trays of food toward Alphinaud’s room Tataru paused, “do you think he will let us in?” The thought had obviously crossed my mind, though it seemed likely he wouldn’t oblige initially I was confident we could coax him to allow us in. “I’m sure we can convince him, it might be good practice for when we try to get into Ishgard.” Tataru laughed, “You’re right, we can’t give up before we even try!”

We finally reached his door and stood for a moment, before exchanging looks. Who was going to knock on the door? Tataru vigorously shook her head at me, before I sighed and turned to the door. Of course it would be me, though I felt just as nervous as I had when about to face the primals. I laid my tray on the table by the door before taking a deep breath and gently knocking on the door.

We waited a few moments but were met with silence, Tataru stared at me anxiously. I glared at the door, determined and knocking more loudly. “Alphinaud, Tataru and I have come with breakfast. We were hoping to eat together.” We were again left with silence before hearing a quiet voice emerge from behind the door “…I’m not hungry.” Tataru stared at the tray before her, her eyes welling up slightly.

“You may not be hungry but we are, can’t you let us in so we can eat before it gets cold at least?” We were met with an exasperated sigh before we heard the door unlocking. I felt smug in my victory though this feeling was short lived, as the door opened it revealed a dishevelled and exhausted Alphinaud. He didn’t look as though he had slept at all since we arrived, his eyes looking red and sore. As we stared at his unfamiliar appearance he refused to meet our eye, seeming to grow irritated “are you going to come in or not.”

Tataru and myself quickly regained ourselves as we grabbed our trays and hurried in, setting them down upon the table by the fireplace before exchanging glances as we sat down. We hadn’t thought this far ahead and neither of us seemed to know what to say. Tataru looked at me sheepishly as we held our breakfast on our laps, it appeared this would be down to me. I stared at him as he closed the door, still shocked at his unkempt appearance. Though there was something endearing about his hair looking so scruffy. As he turned he met my gaze for a moment before he quickly diverted it toward the ground, before it slowly drifted to the trays of food which he eyed curiously.

“What is that…?”

We both flinched in surprise that he would be the one to speak first, “ah! …its Coerthan porridge, supposedly it’s the best thing to eat in cold places like this...” I spluttered nervously as I stared down at my breakfast. Taking my lead Tataru managed to quietly force herself to speak, “You should try it, I think you’d like it...” He seemed to pity our weak attempts at conversation and nodded, sitting down with a bowl in the chair opposite us, trying a spoonful tentatively. Upon tasting it he blinked, seeming stunned before quickly devouring the entire bowl. Afterwards he glanced upwards awkwardly, “it was…very good.” Blushing slightly as he became aware of himself.

Tataru and I smiled at each other before turning to Alphinaud, feeling more relaxed and returning to normality. “Do you want us to draw you a bath? I don’t think you’ve had one since we arrived” we said almost in unison. His face immediately went red, before snapping “I had intended to do so myself thank you! I was just…distracted” his gaze once again turning to the floor. We all knew what had been bothering him but neither of us could find the words to console him.

I knew I had to say something, we couldn’t leave him in this slump when he’d finally let us in. Who knew how many more days he would lock himself in here. Before I could begin to speak however, Tataru jumped from her seat in a panic. “Oh my, I just remembered! I’m due to be helping the weavers today, I’m so sorry Alphinaud –” she paused as she stared at him with a look of determination, “oh but, you will join us for breakfast again tomorrow won’t you?” she said smiling. Such a thing was Tataru’s secret weapon, none of us were impervious to her charms including Alphinaud. He sighed audibly before raising his gaze from the floor slightly to respond “I suppose there’s no helping it.” Tataru let out a cheer before making her way to the door, “I hope you’ll be bathed by then!” She quickly bolted not waiting for his response. Alphinaud sharply raised his head; face red and pouting slightly.

We both looked to the door before I looked back toward Alphinaud, feeling awkward following Tataru’s departure with conversation seemingly exhausted I felt as though this would be a good opportunity to also take my leave now that his attendance to breakfast tomorrow was confirmed.

I rose to my feet “I should really be going too, I’ll leave you to –“ However, my escape was quickly interrupted. “Actually, I wished to speak with you about something” Alphinaud said firmly, meeting my gaze. I was taken aback, after the past few days I hadn’t expect him to want me to stay much less to speak to me about anything. “Ah…of course, what is it?” I said sheepishly, nervously twiddling my own fingers.

He cleared his throat before walking over to the window, my eyes following him as he went. “It concerns the crystal braves and the…events in Ul’dah” he quickly glanced back at me before returning his stare to the snow falling past the window.

I sat in stunned silence, everybody had avoided speaking of what had happened, including myself. Just the thought of it had made me feel uneasy but I had known I would have to face speaking about it sooner or later. I meekly waited for him to continue as his shoulders became tense before speaking, seemingly struggling to retain his composure “Do you think we could have prevented it? You see…that is all that has occupied my thoughts these past days.”

The thought had crossed my mind, of course but every time it had, I couldn’t help but feel responsible. If only I had not completely played into their hands, after all I had been the key to the syndicates plan being a success, had I only realised then perhaps the others could have escaped too instead of sacrificing themselves to protect me.

I had consoled myself with the fact that none of us could have known, though that did not ease my guilt and regret. The same applied to Alphinaud, I couldn’t let him feel to blame, he didn’t know of the Crystal Braves betrayal until it was too late to act. It was a situation that never should have happened. I clenched my fists before standing, “…we never could have known the extent of what they were planning, and even if we had…they would have found another way. The only one to blame for this is the syndicate.”

Alphinaud turned to me, eyes now glistening with tears “but if I had realised the crystal braves had…I could have stopped them! The others wouldn’t have had to…they would still be here with us” he said while stifling back tears, mirroring the thoughts that had occupied my head for some time that I had simply swept away. We both needed to be strong, no primals would wait for us to recover from our grief should they make an appearances. As I stared at him, Alphinaud hunched over to hide his face before turning away from me. I began walk toward the window, standing beside him as I watched the snow float downwards. “You know, the world isn’t going to patiently wait for our pain to subside. Another primal could be summoned tomorrow and we need to be ready to protect the realm. We need to keep looking toward the future. We must remember and learning from the past, without letting it defeat us” I felt harsh as I spoke, but I couldn’t let our comrades’ deaths to save the Scions lead to our downfall.

“You are right, the realm needs you to be strong for us all. But what of me? What could I possibly –“

I quickly grasped his hands to turn him to face me, “Alphinaud, I – I need you need you to be strong for me.” I blushed slightly, realising how suggestive that may sound. I stared as his mouth dropped slightly, “but I –“ I quickly stopped him, “no buts! I may be able to fight primals but when it comes to dealing with politics and diplomacy there’s nobody else I can count on but you. We need you Alphinaud and we need to keep going, we can’t let our friends sacrifices be in vein.” I had finally said it, and it seemed to have effect as Alphinaud froze for a moment as he hesitated, before reluctantly nodding, “…I suppose you are right, nobody is going to wait for us to recover before they try to destroy the realm.”

He sighed, before smiling at me which caused my cheeks to redden slightly. I was glad he could smile again, giving my usual nod as I let go of his hands. “Tomorrow then.” Alphinaud looked at me, confused “tomorrow?” I smiled as I made my way toward the door, “that’s when we’ll start again, as the Scions of the seventh dawn.” His eyes widened before nodding, “tomorrow.”

I laid in bed, feeling restless. It had been hours and yet I couldn’t sleep, all that filled my head was Alphinaud. I felt smug that he had chosen to confide in me and that I had been able to motivate him, though I wasn’t convinced he’d be able to begin to move forward again so soon unless I did something to force him, to stop him from falling back into his depression.

As I rolled to onto my side frustrated, I noticed the sky beginning to lighten outside the window and an idea struck me. I quickly scrambled from my bed and grabbed a coat before dashing out of the doorway. When I had arrived at his room I quietly knocked to avoid being heard by anybody else, before impatiently opening the door and slipping inside. It seemed he had finally managed to sleep, which only made me feel guilty for waking him. As I softly approached his bed he seemed somewhat dazed before jolting awake “Haaaaah?! What are you-“ I quickly covered his mouth and made a shushing motion as he raised an eyebrow at me. “I need you to grab a coat and come with me, don’t worry nobody else is awake yet.” I slowly removed my hand from his face as he sighed, “What on earth are you doing?” he said wearily, mid yawn. I laughed a little as he glared at me, bewildered. As I traced my eyes over his body I noticed his shirt was open, exposing his chest. I suddenly became aware I’d never seen him like this, my mouth felt dry, immediately feeling butterflies in my stomach; my heartbeat becoming the only thing I could hear. Why did this make me feel so nervous? As I struggled to find the words to say, eventually I merely told him “trust me.”

As we left his room I grabbed his hand and swiftly dragged him up a staircase in one of the battlements. When we arrived at the top the sky had begun to flood with colour as the sun crested over the mountains surrounding us. Alphinaud’s eyes grew wide in awe as we stood there, small snowflakes slowly covering our hair and shoulders in our distraction.

I turned to him as he beheld the sunrise, his eyes sparkling as his mouth curled with a smile. “I suppose I can’t deny tomorrow has begun now, can I?” I laughed as he admitted defeat, before returning to watching the sun make its way up the sky as I felt a firm grasp on my hand. My face immediately felt hot as it turned red, I had forgotten to let go of his hand all this time. I found myself glancing at him as his face lit up just as the sky had done before, feeling nervous as my heart thumped, very conscious of Alphinaud being beside me, our fingers remaining intertwined. I couldn’t understand why I felt so anxious. I hadn’t ever felt like this before, taking a deep breath to steady my heart before returning to watch the sun, the snow sparkling as it fell. For now I was just relieved to have Alphinaud steadily returning to us, whatever I was feeling could wait. Until tomorrow maybe.

Chapter Text

The sky was dark and foreboding as I made my way back from the Steel Vigil. Since reaffirming our resolve to uphold the legacy our fellow scions had left, I had decided to make use of my skills and aid some of the Knights of house Fortemps as we fought off a dragon known as Svara and his hoard. Meanwhile, Tataru had been helping the various crafters around camp with their workloads, while Alphinaud had been busy attempting to help with paperwork for our entry to Ishgard alongside our eccentric host. Although we all felt weary, this had been the least we could do in attempt to repay Lord Haurchefant’s kindness.

I welcomed the distraction, relieved to have something besides Alphinaud preoccupy my mind. Since I had dragging him to watch the sunrise I found my mind consumed with thoughts that moment, causing butterflies to rise in my stomach. Perhaps I was just worried, after all we had been so busy the past few days that I had hardly seen him since that morning. I sighed, I was exhausted trying to figure out why I had become so fixated with him.

As I trudged through the snow I finally arrived back at the Intercessory, or more quaintly named the falling snows. I peered round the door, relieved to be met by an empty room as I quickly made my way inside. I kicked off my boots before planting myself in front of the crackling fire, sinking into the seat as I held up my hands to the warmth of the flames. I began to ponder over the past few days, grateful I hadn’t been left with Alphinaud for too long. I felt desperate to see him and yet dreaded it at the same time, these feelings only growing more severe as time passed. I slowly exhaled as I slumped in the chair, berating myself as I realised my mind had again began to linger on thoughts of him. My deliberation on the subject cut short as only a few moments had passed before Lord Haurchefant burst in the room, filled with excitement as usual. “Ah, my friend! It has been a truly grand day has it not?” I smile and nod, his mood seeming contagious. He too approached the fire whilst he spoke, “I must thank you for all that you and your comrades have done since your arrival, it must have been exhausting!”

“Ah no, it was nothing! I was glad to be able to help somehow.” Haurchefant grinned as he gave a joyful nod, “It has occurred to me that you and Alphinaud have not yet had a day off! Why not take tomorrow to have to yourselves?” I stared as he placed his hand to his chin, “I believe it’s a good season for ice fishing. Why, I distinctly remember you mentioning you enjoyed fishing on your previous visits to Coerthas. It would be far better than spending the day surrounded by four walls!”

Fishing would certainly be some welcome relaxation, as I sat considering the offer my body immediately tensed as I heard a familiar voice, “Ice fishing? I cannot say I’ve done anything like that before.”
Myself and Haurchefant both turning to the doorway as Alphinaud entered. “Though I would like to try it whilst we are here, don’t you agree?” he shrugged, smiling. I found myself staring at him as he walked toward us, as our eyes met I found myself quickly diverting my gaze to the floor. I couldn’t even look at his face, how could I possibly spend the whole day with him?

Unless, maybe this was what I needed to return to normal. I slowly looked up at him from my seat, my heart racing as I furiously mustered the strength to speak “I…would not object to the idea.” His smile waned slightly, both of us seeming disappointed at my lukewarm response.  

“It is a shame Tataru is so busy, or she could have accompanied us also.” Alphinaud folding his arms as he thought before looking back at me, “at least we can bring back anything we catch for dinner, if we actually manage to catch something anyway.” I nodded slightly in response, still dwelling over my lacklustre response. Haurchefant glanced at us both, beaming, “then it’s settled, I’ll make the preparations for your trip! I do look forward to eating whatever you catch!” as he quickly strode out the room, seeming excited as if he were the one going for the trip.  

The night dragged for what seemed like an eternity as I rolled in my bed, unable to settle. I was relieved when morning finally arrived, making my way down to the centre of Camp Dragonhead where I found Haurchefant excitedly explaining directions to Alphinaud, who was surrounded by various fishing supplies. Alphinaud caught sight of me as I walked towards them, beckoning to me as I quickened my pace slightly, though I was nervous to reach him as I felt my heart beat irregularly.

“Ah good morning, are you ready? I feared you might oversleep.” He spoke eagerly as Haurchefant laughed, “I was worried he might leave without you at one point!” I gave Alphinaud a dejected look upon hearing this, before he quickly interjected.
“Ah, no- I wouldn’t!”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his panicked response, my nerves dissipating as he started to pout slightly. He definitely seemed as though he was back to normal though he was slightly softer somehow as he sighed. “Anyway, we don’t have time for this. We have fish to catch, remember?” Haurchefant nodded, before sending us off.

We began to make our way toward the Nail in silence, Alphinaud striding ahead in his excitement. Though it was cold, the sky was mainly clear with a few dark clouds hanging over the cliffs. I wanted to initiate a conversation, as I began deliberating over what I could say he turned to face me, beginning to walk backwards. “Say, you’ve fished before haven’t you?” I nodded, though I was by no means knowledgeable on the subject. “I’ve never ice fished before though, I wonder if it will be any different?” He looked somewhat relieved before turning to face forward again. “Have you fished before Alphinaud?” His body became tense slightly for a moment before he spoke, “I have read about it but that’s the extent of my knowledge I’m afraid.”

My mouth gaped slightly, before breaking into a slight laugh. “So I’ll be the one catching the fish today then?” He seemed to be embarrassed by my teasing as he slouched his shoulders looking defeated before glancing backwards, blushing slightly. “Ah!” I quickly waved my hands, “I was only joking! It’s easy! I can show you the basics if you’d like?”
His excitement seemed to return as he lifted his head, “You would?” he smiled “I’m sure we will catch enough fish to feed the whole camp!” Though I doubted we’d be able to catch quite that many fish, I was relieved that the tension between us seemed to have cleared.  

We eventually arrived at the fishing hole, placing our things on the huge snow covered rocks surrounding the water, mirroring the sky as it filled with clouds. Alphinaud placed his hands on his hips, triumphantly “so this is the place!” before turning to me, “well then, we should probably begin before the weather turns.” I nodded, opening the tackle box before lining out the bait we could use in the water. Alphinaud leaned over my shoulder watching every movement, his presence making my face feel hot. As I inspected the Wildfowl fly, he gentle took it from my hand before lifting the jig to his face “so this is it? Will it actually work?” I proceeded to pull out a fishing log, directing him to the page on that particular jig. He eyed the page before looking at me, “so we are going to try to catch a kissing fish?” I blushed as I quickly looked back down to the page, of all the bait I could have chosen. Just that word coming from his mouth made me feel nervous again, as I attempted to change the subject “we…may catch an emperor fish, if we get lucky!” His eyes lit up, "really? That would be impressive!" I smiled awkwardly as I quickly moved to sit by the water as I directed Alphinaud on how to use the rod, him seeming captivated merely nodding as he eyed the tackle. As we attached our bait we felt a slight rumble before looking at each other in confusion. “I wonder…?” I was interrupted by the ground trembling as if it were an earthquake. Snow began to fall from the cliffs surrounding us as our eyes darted around, oblivious to the approaching danger.

“-Wha..?” My eyes widened, as we saw a surge of cyclops fill the area following their leader Steropes, he was infamous in Coerthas; rumoured to be able to kill in a single swing. This was bad. I had no armour nor weapon to fend off enemies of this size, our only option was to flee. I slowly lowered my rod to the ground before grasping Alphinaud’s arm as he sat frozen to the spot. “We need to hide. Now.” I spoke firmly, but he was already aware of the gravity of our situation.

We ran as quickly as we could, darting through the thick trees as snow began to fall heavily. Unable to see more than a few meters ahead of us, we stumbled through the snow with no idea the direction we were running. Alphinaud grabbed my hand and began to drag me “Look!”
My eyes followed where he had pointed, relieved “a cave!” We quickly approached, however it soon became clear rather than being a cave it was but a small enclave, no more than a meter deep. As we stood staring at the small opening, another flurry of snow carried on strong winds was all we needed to usher us in.

It felt smaller and smaller as we huddled at the back, pushed together by the narrowing walls. As we sat Alphinaud sighed, disappointed as he turned to face me “well that’s our trip over I guess.” He shrugged. As he had turned I had realised how close we were, feeling his warm breath on my face. Upon this realisation I felt my face quickly flush red and my pulse quicken before turning away slightly to avoid meeting his eyes. “By the looks of it I doubt we will be able to leave here anytime soon either” I nodded in agreement as I tried to disguise my nervous demeanour. This was not the place or time for this, we were stranded in the snow surrounded by Cyclops and yet I felt like I’d rather run out there than stay here with the only sound being my racing heart.

I had to calm down, I had to relax. I began to take deep breaths. Just as I felt myself begin to relax I felt Alphinaud lean over toward me, trying to glimpse my face “are you alright?” he said, peering over my shoulder. I felt the heat immediately return to my cheeks as my heart felt as though it would beat out of my chest. What could I say? I couldn’t tell him that the thing making me nervous was him. I decided to play it off, “Ah…I'm fine, really. Just a little cold.” Alphinaud seemed relieved, “well, you’ll be happy to know in the books I read in preparation had some sage advice!” he said proudly, quickly shuffling in his satchel before holding up a blanket, with a smug look on his face. “It recommended bringing emergency supplies in case of blizzards” He paused before laughing slightly, “unfortunately it didn't specify anything for Cyclops.”

He began to unfold the blanket before hanging it over our shoulders, his hand grazing my back caused me to flinch slightly, this was the opposite of what I needed, with his every movement my head span as my pulse quickened further. As we sat in silence, our arms brushing one another Alphinaud spoke quietly, “I wanted to thank you for what you said a few days ago, you really…I felt a lot better since.” I kept my eyes to the floor, clutching the blanket hardly able to breath. He paused before shuffling closer to me, I turned to face him in shock as he smiled, “you’re still cold aren't you?”

How had my excuse backfired this badly? Now we were even closer than before. I watched the snow falling outside to distract me from the proximity of our bodies. Minutes passed in silence as I felt the warmth spread between us, turning to face him as he gazed at the snow. After all he had done to organise today with Haurchefant, how excited he had been…and yet it had ended like this. I felt guilty, in my panic I hadn’t said a single word to him when he had been so kind. I felt determined as I took a deep breath, bracing myself to speak.
“Thank you, Alphinaud. For everything today.” I said softly, blushing.

As I spoke Alphinaud turned his head, our noses brushing as his face became directly in front of mine. He was so close and yet I was unable to look away, captivated by his gaze. His eyes widened as I stared, his cheeks flushed red matching mine. His expression relaxed as he glanced down grasping my hand tightly as our fingers automatically intertwined. As we looked at one another, my whole body began to feel hot as my eyes flicked up and down, glancing at his lips. I had never noticed how soft they looked until now, as they were so close to mine. I could hear both our hearts racing as our faces slowly crept towards one another. As we both began to close our eyes in anticipation I heard a voice in the distance.
We both froze, opening our eyes and drawing away from one another, both directing our gaze toward the floor. As the voices became louder we could barely make out “-phinaud!” Haurchefant must have sent people to search for us after such a drastic change in the weather. We quickly jumped to our feet and scrambled to the entrance.

As we waded through the deep snow, we could make out a group of Elzen knights. As we called out to them through the snow they quickly ran toward us. Upon seeing their crest we knew they were knights of House Durendaire, accompanied by Corentiaux, Lord Haurchefant’s most trusted knight. We let out relieved sighs, quickening our pace. As we approached them I felt Alphinaud’s hand slip from mine, leaving my grasp feeling empty. I was disappointed, feeling a pull on my heart as I watched his back as he walked a few paces ahead of me.

As we met with the group of guards, we realised how close we had been to the gates of judgement and to civilisation, all of which had previously been completely concealed from view in the snow. Alphinaud seemed exasperated as he realised, but I felt as though a part of me was happy we hadn’t seen them, that for a few moments we had been in a world which was just the two of us. As I wondered when I began to feel like this, my eyes were drawn to Alphinaud’s hand hanging by his side as I noticed how much I longed to reach out and hold it again.

Chapter Text

It had been a day since my failed fishing trip with Alphinaud. I had felt tense all day, relieved when I could finally retire to the Intercessory to be alone. I found myself pacing from one end of the room to the other as thoughts of yesterday enveloped my mind. I wondered what I should do, could I talk to him about what happened, about how I have felt around him.

As I marched across the room deep in thought, the door creaked open. “Ah!” I quickly spun around to see Tataru. She sat at the table, beckoning me to join her as she spoke, “are you okay? You’ve seemed distracted all day.”
I decided to ask her for advice, after all she may have more insight into such things than I.
“Tataru…Actually, I wanted to ask your opinion on something” I asked as I pulled out the chair next to her. She looked at me concerned, “of course, you can ask me about anything. I’ll help in any way I can!” I psyched myself up as I prepared to tell her, taking a deep breath before slowly exhaling.

I fumbled with my fingers as I spoke, “Recently, I’ve been feel nervous…but only around a certain person, it almost feels as though there is tension between us.” She eyed me curiously, nodding for me to continue. “I find myself constantly blushing and self-conscious whenever I get close to him, and yet I always feel like any time I spend with him is never enough…” I look down at the floor to hide my face as I flush red, “I’ve not felt this way about anybody before, I think I know what it is but I just…wanted to know your thoughts before I do anything.”
Tataru folded her arms, grinning slightly. “This wouldn’t happen to concern a certain fair haired Elzen, would it?” My mouth dropped as I quickly jumped from my seat, how did she know? Was it truly so obvious! “Tataru, how did you-“ She quickly put her hands to her mouth, “Ah, it was just a wild guess!” I started at her in disbelief at my apparent predictability. She laughed as she let out a cheer, “My, my though! You truly have feelings for Lord Haurchefant?”

Eh?

Lord Haurchefant? She hadn’t been speaking about Alphinaud. “Oh, no I-“
I froze as the door made its familiar creaking. “…ahem, excuse me. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” We both quickly turned to find Alphinaud standing in the doorway. My heart immediately sank, had he heard our conversation? “Ah no, you-“

He quickly interrupted, looking away from us. “Don’t worry, I’ll only be a moment. I’m just looking for a book.” He began walking to the bookcase at the far end of the room as Tataru and I exchanged nervous looks, prompting her to break the awkward silence. “…What book are you looking for Alphinaud?” He spoke without turning as he leant down to look at the lower shelves, “with the decision on our entry to Ishgard looming, I felt it would be best to research their culture further beforehand.” He spoke bluntly, with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Upon finding the book, he quickly pulled it from the shelf before turning to walk out, I had to stop him. I needed to make sure he hadn’t heard what Tataru said. I spoke nervously, “Alphinaud, about…“ I paused as he abruptly turned toward us, his cheeks slightly red. “I forgot to mention. Luckily, the fishing equipment from yesterday was recovered for the most part. Maybe next time Lord Haurchefant would even be kind enough to accompany you.” I opened my mouth slightly, shocked. He must have heard everything. Before I could muster any words, he had left.

I slowly put my head face down on the table as Tataru began to panic, “I’m so sorry! I hadn’t expect anybody to walk in!” I sighed as I spoke, “it wasn’t your fault, don’t worry.” I hadn’t anticipated him walking in either, let alone at such a crucial moment. Though his interruption had also ruined my chances of correcting Tataru’s misunderstanding without making her feel even worse.

The next morning eventually arrived after a sleepless night. I hadn’t even able to stop thinking about earlier, I had to speak to Alphinaud. I had to make sure he knew that Lord Haurchefant wasn’t the one I had feelings for. That it was him.

I paused, would that be like a confession of love? I felt my face grow hot, it was far too soon to be doing such a thing but what else could I do. I could let him think I had feelings for somebody else, it would only push him away. I resolved to tell him as I clenched my fists in determination as I left my room to find him.

As I walked across Camp Dragonhead I caught sight of Alphinaud, quickly calling out to him. “Alphinaud, I need to speak to you!” he turned to me, appearing alarmed at my sudden shouting as I strode towards him. He wore a confused expression as he placed his hand on his hip as the other grasped the book from yesterday. “What on earth is so urgent?” he said, scathingly. I looked down slightly as I blushed, “I need to speak to you in private…if possible.” Upon seeing me blush his expression softened as he put his hand to his face, sighing. “Very well, I am quite busy though so you’ll have to make it quick.”
I nodded, smiling at him “Thank you Alphinaud!”
As we approached the door leading to the Intercessory, we heard shouts from outside of the Camp.

We heard the Fortemps Knights call to each other as they rushed out the gate, “it’s an emergency!”
What on earth was going on?

Alphinaud and I nodded to each other before joining the Knights in the commotion. As we pushed through the crowed we reached a single Knight, panting as he spoke. “A Behemoth…it has descended from the Mountains! Our numbers aren’t enough, we need to round up…as many adventurers and Knights as possible…to help fend off the beast.”

Alphinaud spoke as he stepped back slightly, seeming alarmed. “Good god, a Behemoth?!”
I turned to him, becoming stoic as my nerves dissipated, “I have to go, may we speak later?” He looked at me in horror, “you truly mean to go?! But it will be danger- ah, but I forgot who I was speaking to for a moment…” He clutched his book tightly, before he continued. “Pray come back in one piece and we shall speak then.” I nodded before leaving with the band of guards and adventurers alike toward the Behemoth’s lair.

As we approached icy mist began to form, concealing the beast from our view. We heard only a bellowing roar before its form emerged into view. We froze, its sheer size overwhelming. A lone Knight breaking the tension as he shouted, “we must push it back to the mountains! Together, now!” At that moment we saw the huge beast turn sharply toward us, before lunging forward.
I dove out of the way as the beast trounced us, many already fallen to the ground in defeat.
As we desperately sought openings for attack for what felt like an eternity, it finally seemed to have effect as the beast began to make its way back to its lair. Feeling triumphant, we followed in hot pursuit before it turned to face us once again. We looked on as it rose to its hind legs, towering above us. Had we fallen into its trap? It had drawn us into its domain, granting us false confidence. It had the advantage.

It made huge swings that lifted the snow around us, making us blind to its attacks as we frantically dodged its huge claws. I took heavy breaths as I glanced around, there were no more than a dozen of us remaining. As we stood anticipating defeat the beast began to recoil, before hearing another deafening roar. This time, the sound had not come from the Behemoth but instead from behind us. We turned to see a wave of adventurers approach from the rear, brandishing their weapons. All at once we felt our hope return, we had a chance to defeat it! It wasn't over!

We continued to fight as the huge beast left destruction in its path, the sheer number of us overwhelming the beast. As the beast’s strength began to wane it pushed itself onto its hind legs once again, letting out a piercing howl as the sky began to turn red. We stood motionless as we stared at the clouds, the ground shuddering beneath us as a huge meteor breached through the clouds. The Behemoth fell to the ground defeated, had it used magic to summon such a thing?! We broke from our stupor and quickly turned on our heels to run.
As we frantically stumbled through the snow to escape, the shouts once behind me quickly faded to silence as ringing filled my ears. I suddenly felt the heat on my back as I felt myself begin to fall, my vision fading to black.

As I faded in and out of consciousness I could hear a gentle voice, though I couldn’t make out the words. It felt so familiar and comforting, the words slowly becoming more clear as I opened my eyes, my body still slightly aching.

“-pparently, they even have a special breed of black Chocobo in Ishgard which can fly…Gods, can you imagine that?” As I turned my head, I saw Alphinaud sitting beside my bed. His face was buried in a book, speaking as he read, his feet resting on the side of the bed. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, a basin of water beside him. As I stared at him I began to feel tears well in my eyes, as my vision had faded I thought death was imminent, I thought I would never see him again.

“Alphinaud…” I spoke softly, wiping the tears from my eyes. As he heard me speak he immediately lowered his book. “Ah, you’re finally awake! How are you feeling? You’ve been asleep for over two days, I was beginning to worry!” he spoke quickly, seeming panicked. I laughed slightly, as I attempted to sit up, “I feel fine.” I fixed my gaze on his book curiously, “What are you reading?”

He quickly scrambled to help me, “You should be lying down, you need to rest!” I smiled at him as he sighed, “there’s never any helping when it comes to you.” He looked down before holding up his book, it was the one he had pulled from the shelves of the Intercessory. “I thought if I read it to you while you slept, you may actually remember some of it.”
Had he been here reading to me the whole time? I felt myself blush at the idea as Alphinaud moved to sit on the bed, leaning over me. I stared at him in silence, my face becoming hotter as he slowly moved his hand to my face, brushing my cheek with his fingers before pushing back my hair as he felt my forehead. “Hmm, you still have a little bit of temperature.” He reached to the basin before gently placing a damn cloth on my forehead which slowly slipped down my face.

He let out an exasperated sigh, “This would be a lot easier if you’d just listen to me and lie down you know?” As he held the cloth in place I reached to gently grasp his hand, him flinching slightly upon my touch. “Would you read to me a little more?” I teased slightly smiling as I spoke, his cheeks reddened as he pouted before pulling away from my hand. “Fine, but only if you actually listen. We need to be prepared for…ah! You were unconscious when we heard!” I looked at him quizzically as his spoke, “we’ve been granted entry to Ishgard, we need only complete some more paperwork before we can leave here.”

My body bolted up, though slightly flinching at the pain, “Thank goodness, though now you really will have to read to me.” He narrowed his eyes, before sitting back in his chair as he opened his book where he had left off. I found myself looking over his form as he read, flushing red as I realised my wandering eyes. I noticed is hair was slightly more unkempt than usual, captivated as I watched him push it from his face. I stared at him dreamily, I quickly found myself longing to be closer to him. I began to reach toward him as I heard a knock. I quickly returned my arm to my side as we both turned toward the door, Lord Haurchefant entered.

He grasped a chair as he entered, pulling it toward the end of my bed as he spoke, “Ah, I am relieved to see you awake my friend!” Alphinaud eyes followed him as he approached, seeming mildly annoyed. “I am glad to have left you in Master Alphinaud’s care, he scarcely left your side.” I quickly turned to him, as I felt butterflies in my stomach “You…” He quickly turned red before directing his gaze to the floor. “I- Of course, anybody would have done the same.”

Haurchefant let out a laugh, “Oh? I take it you have heard the good news?” I happily nodded, as he continued. “It will be wonderful to have you stay at Fortemps Manor, it’s truly glorious. Though, I do have another announcement to make.” Alphinaud and I turned to each other, confused before looking back to Lord Haurchefant. “We shall be throwing a party to celebrate the good news in the coming days, the whole of Camp Dragonhead wishes to give you a monumental send off!” I felt my face light up as I nodded, I would have expect no less of Lord Haurchefant’s hospitality.

Haurchefant spoke again, grinning “I hope I can secure a dance with the Warrior of Light?” I felt myself redden slightly at the proposition, “O-of course..” Upon this Alphinaud abruptly stood, unable to disguise his irritation “My thanks Lord Haurchefant, I shall look forward to it. It seems our friend is suitably recovered so if you will excuse me, I have other things that need attending to.” Haurchefant and I stared, unable to follow as he swiftly strode out of the room without a moment’s notice. As we looked on, Haurchefant’s voice breaking the silence, chuckling as he spoke “my, dear friend, you do have a lot of fans it seems!” I let out a sigh as I realised, I still hadn’t spoken to him about what he overheard. Of course he got the wrong idea, though for him to be like that…would that mean that he was jealous?

Chapter Text

In the days following my awakening, Camp Dragonhead thrived with activity in preparation for our send off. Lord Haurchefant had been adamant that we were not to enter the dining hall until the day of the celebration as to prevent the surprise from being ruined, which only added to my excitement for what may be awaiting us behind those doors.

As the day of the festivity finally arrived, I could scarcely recognise myself as I stared into a mirror. Haurchefant had stunned us when we were presented with traditional Ishgardian garb for the event. The clothes were cumbersome to say the least, though it didn't dull my anticipation for the evening ahead. As I readied myself, I rummaged through my armoire in search of earrings suitable for such grand attire. As I fumbled I found myself reaching to the depths of the drawers when I felt something prick my fingertip.

I gently grasped my jewelled assailant as I pulled it out of the drawer, bringing it up to my face. I felt my heart sink as I stared into the amethyst dangling in front of me, they were the Voice of the Just. I felt sick as I recalled when I had worn them to gain entry to banquet with the Sultana when I had first set out on my adventure. They pulled me back, back to a time before I was the famed Warrior of Light who had defended Eorzea. I sat for what must have been hours as I recounted my memories, my first meetings with the Scions and all that had happened since, all that I had lost along the way to bring me to the present.

I began to feel my eyes well with tears, before they ran down my cheeks as I clutched the earrings tightly in my hands. I found myself overwhelmed by grief as I attempted to stifle back my tears to no avail.

As I quietly wept over my fallen friends, I was too distracted to notice the knocking on my door, oblivious to its subsequent opening until I heard a voice.

“Pardon the intrusion, the festivities will be beginning momentarily and we had noticed your ab...sence…“ I swiftly turned, revealing my tears to find Alphinaud staring at me from the doorway. I needed to collect myself, I didn’t want to waste all of Lord Haurchefant’s efforts organising this farewell for us. I attempted to hide my face as I spoke, “Sorry…I’ll be there soon.”  However, instead of leaving I heard footsteps as Alphinaud quickly strode over to where I sat as I felt myself be pulled into his arms. I sat motionless as I listened to his steady heartbeat before regaining my senses as I pushed my face away from his chest, “Ah…but you’re clothes, they’ll be ruined…”
I looked up to his face, being met with an irritated expression. “Don’t be ridiculous…” His face softened as he lifted his hand, gently wiping the tears from my face before pulling me close to him again. I found myself begin to cling to his body as his heart began to race.

He cleared his throat before speaking, “I believe I know why you are crying…” He paused before placing his hand on my head, softly running his fingers through my hair. “…We must press on through this, once we gain sanctuary within Ishgard we shall seek justice and clear the names of the Scions, the fallen included.” I nodded as he spoke, his warmth and scent as comforting as his words.

He stood, waiting for my tears to subside before releasing me from his embrace. As I composed myself, I decided to wear the Voice of the Just, wanting to carry my old friends along with me. Finally readied for the party, I stood as I found the strength to speak again, “…Thank you.” Alphinaud smiled as he nodded, grasping my hand “Well, I imagine we are late enough as it is. Shall we go?”

I found myself being pulled along by Alphinaud toward the hall, cherishing the feeling of his hand holding mine. When we eventually arrived at the entrance we found Tataru waiting beside them. “Ah, you’re finally here!” She smiled as we all positioned ourselves in front of the large doors before pushing them together. As they swung open, we found ourselves standing in awe.

What seemed like hundreds of candles flickered on the steel chandeliers, lighting every corner of the room that had now been filled with tables lavishly dressed with fine fabrics and food, with a space for dancing at the rear. The walls adorned with Ishgardian banners. Our presence was immediately noted by Lord Haurchefant as he rose from his seat at the head of a long table, before lifting the glass beside him as his voice filling the room.

“Our guests of honour have arrived! Dear friends, please make yourself comfortable and enjoy the festivities!”

The room erupts into cheers and clapping as we approach our seats beside Lord Haurchefant, Alphinaud and I still hand in hand. As we begin to take our seats Haurchefant steps in, directing Alphinaud to sit in the seat opposite me as Tataru takes the chair by my side. He reluctantly releases my hand as he goes to take his seat, seeming slightly disgruntled. As he walked, I found myself blushing as I looked over his form, realising how much the Ishgardian clothing suited him as my eyes wandered up and down his body. I felt my pulse quicken as I desperately tried to distract myself.

I quickly turned my attention to the food in front of us, filling my plate as Lord Haurchefant poured wine into our cups before leaning toward me, obscuring Alphinaud from my view. He smiled as he spoke, “My, dear friend. You look exquisite, I was waiting with great anticipation to behold this sight.” I laughed as my cheeks reddened slightly, “I’m glad you think it looks okay, it has been so long since I last wore anything but armour.” Haurchefant placed his hand on mine as he stared at me, “All the more reason for me to-“ Before he could finish speaking, he was interrupted by Alphinaud slamming his tankard onto the table in irritation.

“Lord Haurchefant, would I be able to trouble you for more wine?”

He nodded before filling Alphinaud’s cup, this time to the brim. Haurchefant wasted no time in returning to his flirtations before Alphinaud once again cut in for more wine. I wondered if he may be doing this on purpose as the back and forth between them continued, Alphinaud’s speech slowly becoming slightly slurred. Lord Haurchefant began to seem concerned as he asked for another, “Master Alphinaud, I mean no disrespect but I believe you may have drank enough for one night.” Alphinaud scoffed slightly, “I have…drank more than this before…”

“That may be true, however Ishgardian wine contains almost double the alcohol content compared to other wines in Eorzea.” Alphinaud pauses before he speaks again this time, more adamantly. “That is…not a problem. Another.”

Lord Haurchefant smiled as he stood, “Very well, I shall send for some more if you would excuse me for a moment. This is a party in your honour after all, I am merely glad that you are enjoying yourself.” After speaking to one of the Knights he made his way to the back of the room before his voice cut through the noise. “Everybody, the main event shall now begin!” He gestured toward the doors as they opened, a group of Elezen entering the hall carrying a magnificent array of instruments. The room cheered as I turned to Tataru as she spoke excitedly, “This is more wonderful than I could have imagined!” I nodded, before looking back up to find Lord Haurchefant making his way back to the table, eyes fixed on me.

I had almost forgotten my agreement to dance with him, as I readied myself Alphinaud quickly stood. He wobbled slightly as he grabbed my arm, pulling me toward the dance floor. What was he doing? He knew I had told Lord Haurchefant I would dance with him. As we eventually met Haurchefant, Alphinaud pulled me behind him.

“Ah….Lord Haurchefant, I shall be having the first dance….after all, that is the one that counts..” I peered over his shoulder at Lord Haurchefant as he laughed before standing aside, allowing us to pass. “Very well, but the next one shall be mine!”

When we reached the dance floor I felt my face flush red as Alphinaud pulled me toward him as he placed his hand on my waist as the other gently held my hand. He smiled at me proudly, before leaning to whisper in my ear, feeling his breath on my neck as he spoke.

“It appears…I won this round.”

I felt butterflies in my stomach as I realised, this whole evening he had been competing with Lord Haurchefant. My heart racing as I felt Alphinaud’s hand pull me closer to his body as the music began to play. He was a far better dancer than I, his movements near perfect besides the occasional stumble, though that was probably due to the wine. As we moved across the floor I couldn’t help being conscious of the close proximity of his face to mine as he smiled, my thoughts filled only with the moment we shared that day in the snow. I found myself fixated by his lips, realising how much I wanted to feel them with my own.  

However, these thoughts were shortly interrupted as Alphinaud began to speak, “It feels strange…to see you unadorned by your armour…” He paused, staring at my face with intensity, seemingly unaware of how nervous it made me. I couldn’t meet his gaze for long, before I surrendered as I quickly looked down. “I think…I prefer your usual attire…it suits you…” his blushing spreading to his ears as he spoke. I couldn’t help myself when a smile spread across my face, “I’m glad, though I’m amazed that you can even see straight.” He looked at me, seeming shocked before he momentarily diverted his gaze.

“I’m not…that drunk.”

I let a laugh escape as he looked at me indignantly, sighing. I moved my body closer to his, resting my head beside his. I wanted to live in this moment, to keep this feeling forever. It felt we had only just begun to dance when the music died down, Alphinaud grudgingly releasing his hand from my waist as Lord Haurchefant held out his hand toward me for the next dance.

As the music rose once again, Lord Haurchefant took my hand as he led me around the dance floor. “He seems a little frustrated when I am near you, does he not?” he spoke, glancing back at Alphinaud now sitting at the table with his wine. I nodded, my face turning slightly red. “Yes…I had noticed also…” He smiled, grasping my waist far more tightly than Alphinaud had. “You know, a Knight can tell when he is fighting a losing battle, but I shall have it known I am not giving up. Never on you, my dear Warrior of Light." I stared at him, my face becoming redder. "Though it seems I shall have to double my efforts, you shall not be seeing less of me upon your departure to Ishgard!” I laughed, Lord Haurchefant never changed and I was glad for it. “Thank you Lord Haurchefant, for everything you have done for me thus far. You are truly a wonderful friend, I would not be without you.” He blushed slightly upon hearing my words, “You do not need to thank me, simply the honour of dancing with you and your friendship is thanks enough, though you could join me later-“

“Haurchefant!” He erupted into laughter, “so it didn’t work this time either!” We continue to jest with one another until the music stops. He releases me from his grip, as he grinned “It seems Master Alphinaud may need waking up.”

I sighed upon returning to the table to see him slumped in his chair, giving him a gentle prod. He jolts awake, slightly startled. “Alphinaud, are you okay?” His face relaxes as he sees me, “Ah…yes, I’m fine…I think.” I stare at him as he sways slightly in the chair, he was even worse than before…how much had he drank while I was gone?

As the evening goes on, Alphinaud begins recalling various facts about aether currents and unaspected crystals, seemingly to keep himself awake. I sat gazing at him as he struggled to form sentences, unable to stop myself from smiling though I could hardly understand what he was talking about. He seemed to notice I was slightly out of my depth, as he began trying to explain, though this only seemed to confuse him more.

“Just like…like with the Enterprise…and Garuda…you do remember? You fought a dragon…I think…you were there…gods, she was huge…Cid really likes that airship…I’m glad…it was okay…because…the crystal…”

He slowly trailed off, seeming to forget what he was saying as his eyes began to close, the room slowly emptying. “Right, it’s time to take you back to your room.” I stood up, pulling him gently from the chair, nodding to Lord Haurchefant and Tataru as I dragged him from the hall.

It felt like it took hours to finally reach his room, relieved when I finally sat him on his bed before sitting beside him. “Alphinaud…Alphinaud?” He mumbled a little, before opening his eyes slightly. “Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?” He yawned, leaning his head on my shoulder. “I’m…just a little tired…”

My face became hot as I realised we were alone in his room, hesitant as I slowly moved my hand to his hair. I was surprised that was so soft as I began to twirl it with my fingers as he began to slowly speak. “…You…” He furrowed his brow, seeming confused by his own words as he tried to form a coherent sentence. “…’twas you who convinced me…that salvation of Eorzea was possible…if I had not met you…I do not think I…would be the same person…I am now…” He laughed to himself a little before speaking again, “you know…I’ve been thinking…I believe…at some point…I may have fallen in love with you…”

My hand froze as I heard his words, my heart feeling as though it stopped all together. I could hardly speak, “Al-Alphinaud…what did you…” I paused as I looked down at his face, “what did you…just say?” I watched him in anticipation but was met with silence. I gave a heavy sigh. He had fallen asleep. I laid him down on his bed, gently brushing his hair from his face as I looked down at him, hoping he would remember those words tomorrow.

Chapter Text

As I sat up my head throbbed slightly, the light of the sunrise beginning to filter through the curtains. I had hardly drank more than three glasses and yet the room still span slightly, Haurchefant’s comment about Ishgardian wine was painfully true.  I sighed, thinking back to the night before as I rested my chin on my knees. In his drunken stupor Alphinaud told me he had fallen in love with me but fell asleep before I could fathom a reply.
I wanted to respond to his confession but whenever I had considered how I felt about him, my feelings felt too much for me to understand. All the things he does and say are piling up and turning into an emotion I haven’t felt before. Even the most trivial moments with him fill me with so much happiness. 

Is this how being in love feels?

I found myself clutching the sheets as I filled with dread. I had to speak to him and confirm what I felt, no matter how much I feared what he would say…or that he had forgotten.

My pulse quickened with every step I took towards Alphinaud’s room, my body feeling stiff with nerves when I finally reached his door as my answer waited on the other side. I prayed he wouldn’t forget. My heart felt as though it was in my throat as I braced myself, my knocking causing the door to creep open.

I gulped, peering through the gap as I spoke, “Good morning…ah! Pardon the intrusion, I just wanted to-“ I paused, my nerves dissipating as I caught sight of him. Alphinaud looked pale as he sat on the side of his bed, cradling his head. I spoke as I rushed in to fetch him some water, “Gods, you look terrible!” He groaned a little at my comment,

“Well, I can say with certainty I won’t be drinking any alcohol for quite some time after this.” I sat beside him as I passed him the glass, laughing slightly.

“I did think you may have drank too much last night, I’m not surprised you’re feeling so hungover.”

He slowly drank the water before taking a deep breath, “Forgive me, I…wasn’t myself last night. I hope Lord Haurchefant can overlook my behaviour.”

“Ah, so you remember? I’m amazed…” My face flushed red, would this mean he remembered his confession? I sat in suspense, my heart beginning to race as I awaited his reply. He paused before turning away as he spoke.

“Ah…I-“ His voice wavered slightly as he continued, “…No, unfortunately I do not…my memories are hazy at best.”

I sat in silence as all at once I felt my heart sink, he had forgotten after all. My eyes began to fill with mist as my disappointment became apparent.

Alphinaud cleared he throat before he spoke again, “Apologies, pray wait for me in the Intercessory while I collect myself. I still have a few things to prepare before we leave for Ishgard.”

I could say nothing as I took my leave, hurrying down the hallway as my eyes brimmed over with tears. 

Alphinaud turned to stare at the door way as the footsteps slowly faded before throwing himself back onto his bed. He sighed as he laid staring at the ceiling. “What on earth am I doing?”
he whispered to himself, “am I really that afraid of my feelings being rejected?”

He tightly clenched his fists as he spoke, “how could I have been so self-confident, to announce my love like that…I’m a fool.”

My heart felt heavy as we bid our farewells to Camp Dragonhead, the familiar faces fading from sight as we made our way to the Gates of Judgement.

Following our arrival in Ishgard, we were presented to Count Edmond de Fortemps by Lord Haurchefant. Following our welcome we were issued with documentation of our presence as Wards of House Fortemps. As a show of our gratitude we each offered our services to Count Edmond to aid him however we may. Alphinaud had been tasked with making use of his diplomatic skills to secure trade for desperately needed supplies. Meanwhile, I was sent to the Sea of Clouds and Falcons Nest to provide some relief to each of Haurchefant’s brothers respectively while attempting to win favour from the other High Houses. This left Tataru to gather information on the missing Scions in the Forgotten Knight.

During my travels I came upon Lady Iceheart and glimpsed at the Primal Bismarck, I was overwhelmed by how much we still had to overcome…and yet, my mind had always drifted back to Alphinaud, longing for his company. Did he miss being beside me too, I wonder?

I felt relieved when I finally returned to Ishgard, where news of my actions in the name of House Fortemps had already spread. I found myself anxious to find my fellow Scions, it had felt strange to be away from both Alphinaud and Tataru for so long after our stay at Camp Dragonhead.

As I stepped out of the cold, biting wind, I found Count Fortemps awaiting my return, finding myself smiling at his relief. He offered me a seat as I took a moment of respite while he expressed his heartfelt gratitude for our help, recounting the praises of my conduct received from other houses. However, our conversation was cut short as the manor servant burst in the room to announce that both Alphinaud and Tataru had been put on trial for heresy.

Lord Haurchefant assured me I would be the victor of the trial, reminding me he would be cheering from the audience should my confidence falter but I couldn’t help but feel anxious. I paced as I awaited my cue to enter the room, my whole body feeling numb. I tightly clenched my fists in frustration, my nails cutting into my skin. How had I let this happen? I couldn’t lose them too, I wouldn't. I will protect them no matter what. Our light hearted celebration at Camp Dragonhead felt so long ago as we faced prosecution yet again.

As the Knight finally motioned the signal for me to enter I seethed with anger, slamming the doors open before making my way toward Alphinaud and Tataru. They quickly turned toward me, their faces that had been filled with anguish turning to relief. The same could not be said for the two Knights of the Heavensward, who seemed aggravated by my presence as their opponent. I stared daggers at them as we awaited our entry to the arena while Tataru was imprisoned behind bars for the trials duration. As we were led to the centre of the area, I glanced at Alphinaud and gave him a reassuring nod. He smiled meekly as we steeled ourselves for the impending battle.

“O Halone, render unto us Your judgement! Raise up the righteous and cut down the wicked!”

As the fight began, Ser Paulecrain forced himself between Alphinaud and I allowing Ser Grinnaux to corner him. I desperately dodge his unrelenting attacks trying to get close to Alphinaud but to no avail. I furrowed my brow, I would have to defeat my own opponent before I could help him. Without holding back an ounce of my strength I manage to catch Ser Paulecrain off guard and land a fierce blow as he relishes in the cheers of the crowd, causing him to fall to the ground. I turn on my heel, rushing to face Ser Grinnaux. He seemed weakened as his huge frame faltered, he was barely standing. We could finish this in a single hit!

As I run I can make out Tataru shouting through the noise but I register her words too late, before we can react we are surrounded by blinding light as electricity strikes us. I stagger as my vision slowly returns to focus, in the confusion Grinnaux managing to bind Alphinaud in a magicked Ishgardian chain.

He grimaces in pain as he shouts, “you must…defeat him!” I nod, dropping my weapon and sprinting into a jump toward Grinnaux, punching him in the face as hard as I could. Ser Grinnaux keeled over as his lost consciousness, the chain loosening as Alphinaud fell to the floor, panting.

“Alphinaud!” I screamed as I ran, before dropping to my knees in front of him.

“Delivered from an untimely demise yet again, you have my thanks – as always.” He gave a weak smile as I sighed with relief, throwing my arms around him.

“Thank goodness…”

Alphinaud winced in pain at my embrace as he lifted his arm to wrap it around me. As I lifted my hand from his back I noticed small patches of blood soaking through his clothes, slightly ripped from the battle. I pushed him back to inspect him, “You’re injured!”

“I’m fine! Really, first aid would only delay our release.” I narrowed my eyes at him, “when you are released then, I shall see to it your wounds get treated.” He pouted before he reluctantly nodded, as Knights entered the ring, helping Alphinaud up and escorting me out.

Upon my exit I was met by Lord Haurchefant, “Ah my friend, you were simply magnificent! I am always left in awe of your martial prowess!” I smiled as I nodded, too exhausted to muster words. “Ah, I have a gift! It is a Black Chocobo capable of flight! I have trained it myself, it is a sign of the friendship between us.” I felt my mouth gape at the sight of the majestic creature, though far more muscular than any other Chocobo I had seen since I arrived in Eorzea. I felt my damp spirits rise slightly, “Haurchefant…thank you so much, it’s beautiful!” I stroked the glossy feathers as Haurchefant beamed at my response, "No need for thanks, think of it as a courting gift! It is common place in Ishgard!" My face turned red, "Courting?! Haurchefant, are you serious!" He grinned, a Gaurd calling to him before he could respond.  

"Lord Haurchefant, Chocobos are not allowed inside! Your steed must wait outside!" 

We shrugged our shoulders, laughing as the guard led the Chocobo outside. Haurchefant turned to me as his face became serious. “Ah, I nearly forgot. Lord Fortemps tells me you have been sent for by the Archbishop…though I’m not sure as to what this invitation pertains to. He is not a man to be kept waiting, pray meet me back at Fortemps Manor, where I may explain courtship in more...depth...I jest, of course! With any luck your companions will have been released by then.” I smiled, nodding before taking my leave.

During my meeting with the Archbishop, he apologised for the misunderstanding that led to the detention of Alphinaud and Tataru before swiftly dismissing the Heavensward, ignoring their protest. It was then he revealed he had been communicating with the Ascians, in attempt to learn their plans and defeat them once and for all, inciting that we should aid him in this endeavour.

I departed without giving an answer to his request, unsure how to proceed. How could we trust the Archbishop’s word if he were entertaining Ascians?

I walked quickly as I made my way to the Last Vigil, chancing upon Alphinaud and Tataru not far from Fortemps manor. As I approached I was met with a cheer from Tataru, “Ah, my champion! We were released without charges!” She gave a sigh of relief, “I’m not sure what we would have done without you!” I smiled, giving her a nod as Alphinaud chimed in.

“I’m just relieved this misunderstanding has been cleared up.” I quickly turned toward him, “Actually I have just spoken to the Archbishop…I need to speak with you urgently” I spoke as I glanced his body up and down, “We can dress your wounds then too.”

“I’m okay, really. I can take care of it, there are surely more important matters to attend to!” I grabbed his hand, dragging him toward the Manor turning back to him as I spoke. “It won’t take long. Besides I have plenty of salve and bandages in my quarters.” He sighed, defeated as I pulled him along. 

As we arrived in my room, I directed him to sit on the bed as I gathered what I needed from my bag before placing it on the sheets next to him. “Alphinaud, you’re going to have to take off your tunic for this.” Both our faces flushed red as I spoke, refusing to look directly at one another.

“This…really isn’t necessary you know…”

I gave an exasperated sigh before placing my hands on my hips. “It’s too late for that, off.” My heart begins to pound as I force myself to divert my gaze while he gets undressed. “Okay, I’m done.” As I turn toward him, I can’t stop myself from recoiling in shock at the extent of his injuries. The chain had torn into his skin, leaving his body covered with cuts. “Alphinaud, this is-“ He seemed calm as he quickly interjected, “It appears worse than it is, I promise. Now what was it you needed to speak about?”

After I had told him about both the Archbishop and the Ascians, I finished dressing his wounds in silence while Alphinaud stared in any direction that was not toward me, his cheeks and ears a matching shade of red. His body felt hot as I gently rubbed some salve on his back, my hands lingering far longer than needed. I felt at his mercy as I stared at his body, having him in front of me like this made me feel weak. I found myself give in as I slowly wrapped my arms around him, placing my hands on his chest. He flinched at my touch, “what are you-!”

“I’m just…so glad you’re okay, I was terrified I’d lose you both…” My voice felt weak, trembling as I spoke. “…just let me stay like this…for a while.” I felt tears fall down my face as I buried my face into his back, listening to his heart pound as I held him tightly, the feeling of his bare skin comforting me with its increasing warmth. I found myself smiling through the tears, I really am in love with him.

As I held him, I recalled what the Archbishop had said, Ishgard was in danger; how could I be so carefree? I quickly released him from my grasp, attempting to hide my face as I wiped my eyes as I blushed. “Sorry…” As I spoke, Alphinaud quickly turned to face me grasping both my hands, looking into my eyes as he softly spoke.

“Don’t apologise.”

I felt my resolve falter for a moment, his blue eyes fixed on me as I spoke.

“We…our duty to Eorzea is what comes first, the problems present in Ishgard…that must be among our primary concerns…”

He slowly released my hands, his cheeks were still red despite his dejected expression as he turned away from me, grabbing his tunic to get dressed. “You’re right, we must formulate a plan if we are to move forward. If you will excuse me…and, thank you for seeing to my injuries.”

As he left, I felt a knot in my stomach as I grabbed my pillow, hugging it tightly. Already, I began to second guess myself; I only know how to fight, I know nothing of love. I cannot forget my duty to protect Eorzea, but was that really why I was running from my feelings? 

Chapter Text

The sky was beginning to darken, the sun sinking behind the mountains as we made our way to our camp for the night in silence. It had been two weeks since Alphinaud and I had set out from Ishgard, joined by the Azure Dragoon Estinien and the leader of the Heretics, Ysayle in hope of mediating peace with a dragon of the first brood Hraesvelgr and bringing a close to the Dragonsong War. However, before being able to ascend to the Churning Mists that the great Wyrm called home we were tasked with defeating the primal of the Gnath, Ravana.

Though we had been travelling together I found myself missing being with Alphinaud. We hadn’t had a moment alone since we had departed which only added to the tension lingering between us. It was true our hands had been kept quite full keeping Estinien and Ysayle from being at each other’s throats, and yet every moment we were left together he had found something to busy himself with; I was almost sure by now that he was avoiding being alone me.

I let out a long sigh as I gazed at Alphinaud’s back as he strode ahead of the three of us. He felt so far away, it was as though the side of him I had seen never existed. I found myself clenching my fists, I couldn’t wallow in self-pity, after all…I was the one who had decided to ignore my feelings. I couldn’t let myself lament his avoidance of me, yet it was hard to do otherwise when I could find little else to occupy my mind besides him. I couldn’t abandon what I felt for him no matter how much I tried, I can only pray to the twelve this gets easier.

My body felt heavy from fatigue as we eventually arrived, immediately slumping myself on the ground as Alphinaud and Estinien unpacked the pair of Chocobos that carried our supplies. I was relieved I had decided to bring both my Company Chocobo and the Ishgardian Chocobo gifted to me by Lord Haurchefant, though mainly out of fear of me becoming the one to haul our supplies across all of Coerthas and Dravania. I cringed at the thought of how I would have fared in their place as Alphinaud glanced toward Estinien as he stroked the black feathers of the muscular bird.

“Estinien, I’ve been meaning to ask. However did you train that bird? It’s slightly more…bulky that other Chocobo I have seen.”

The Dragoon seemed slightly puzzled as he spoke, “Master Alphinaud, this is not my bird.“

“It’s not!? It has Ishgardian barding so I had assumed…whose Chocobo have we taken!”

Estinien laughed at Alphinaud’s panic, “Calm yourself, this is another of the Warrior of Lights birds. A gift from Lord Haurchefant, I am to understand. I believe he is the one who trained it, which would certainly explain it’s...unusual physique.”

Alphinaud turned to me for confirmation as I nodded, “Estinien is right… It was a gift from Haurchefant, though it is certainly odd; he seems fond of doing squats for some reason…” I trailed off as I saw slight annoyance in Alphinaud’s expression, sighing as he pouted.

“At least it isn’t stolen I suppose. Though Lord Haurchefant being it’s trainer does explain a lot...and he is supposed to fly?”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched Alphinaud while he sceptically eyed the Chocobo. Estinien shrugged, “Black Chocobos are indeed capable of flight, they are one of the prides of Ishgard…this one however, I doubt…” As the pair spoke, Ysayle quickly marched over from the edge of the camp where she had sat and knelt in front of me with flush cheeks. “You were gifted a Chocobo by a gentleman! Such an extravagant gift, does that not mean you are betrothed to one another?”
I immediately felt my face redden, “N-no! It’s not like that, not at all! We’re just good friends! He did make a comment to a similar effect but it was just in jest!” Ysayle seemed both disappointed and intrigued at my answer as she moved to sit next to me on the ground, fumbling something in her fingers “hmm, forgive me...I got a little excited. Though surely such at least invites that possibility?”

“…I suppose, though I hadn’t really thought of it that way…” I mumbled, resting my chin on my knees as I hopefully glanced at Alphinaud, watching for any irritation.

I diverted my gaze to the floor. He didn’t react at all…he used to get so competitive whenever Lord Haurchefant was mentioned and yet now…

I quickly shook my head, I need to stop thinking and forget about these feelings! I should be glad he is doing the same.

Ysayle looked at me with concern as I internally berated myself, still passing a small object through her fingers. It seemed I was not the only one who had noticed as Alphinaud fixated his stare on her hands before breaking the awkward silence that had ensued.

“Ysayle, could I enquire as to what it is you are holding?”

 She paused as he spoke, lowering her head as she looked down, her fingers slowly opening to reveal a small wooden carving of a crystal. “…it is a charm, given to me many years ago by somebody whose face I cannot remember…it is to keep me safe in their stead.”

Alphinaud seemed taken aback by her response, before composing himself. “Oh…my apologies for prying…though it seems to have worked well, which I’m sure would please its giver.” I smiled as I gave her a nod, “They must have cared for you a lot to carve such a beautiful trinket. You are very lucky to have such a thing. Let us hope it continues to do so tomorrow when we meet Ravana.” Ysayle returned my smile as she held her hands to her chest as she tightened the grip on the charm, “I believe you are right. It has protected me well over the years, I shall hope it continues to do so.”

Estinien scoffed, “What rubbish, though I’m not surprised a heretic would believe in such superstitious nonsense.” Ysayle furrowed her brow as she readied a curt reply as Alphinaud quickly interjected. “Ah, Ysayle! The sun has nearly set yet we still haven’t built a fire, shall we not go to collect more wood? You may tell me more about this quaint tradition as we walk.” She sighed before rising to her feet. “I believe that would be for the best.” She narrowed her eyes at the smug Dragoon before following after Alphinaud.

I watched them both disappear from view before turning to Estinien to scold him, “was that really necessary? We still have far to travel together before we meet Hraesvelgr, I’d prefer it if you didn’t kill each other before we even get there.” Estinien smirked to himself, “I shall stop provoking her when the teasing ceases to amuse me.”

“Honestly, you are beyond help sometimes.” I said with an exasperated sigh before giving a wry smile. “Do not come to me for protection should you push her too far.” The Dragoon laughed as he spoke, “I shall keep that in mind.”

It had long grown dark since Alphinaud and Ysayle had left, Estinien had already fallen asleep as I paced restlessly around the camp. They had been gone too long. I had reassured myself that they were okay but I couldn’t stop myself from thinking the worst. I played scenarios over and over in my head, my chest growing tight with every passing moment. If something happened to Alphinaud I could not forgive myself, I had to make sure they were okay for my own sanity.

Just as I left the camp to begin searching for them, I could make out faint voices approaching. I glanced around frantically before catching sight of the pair as they arrived back. Before I could think I rushed toward them, grasping Alphinaud in a tight embrace as he dropped the wood they had gathered to the floor. Alphinaud gasped as he spoke from my squeezing him.

“Wha-what is wrong!?”

I paused before pressing my face into his hair as I spoke, “Thank the twelve you’re both okay! You had been gone so long, I was worried something had happened…” My body felt hot having him so close to me, he smelt so nice…so familiar. I couldn’t help but feel comforted with him in my arms, knowing he was safe. Alphinaud paused before slowly wrapping his arms around me, “Honestly, you worry far too much…I am fine.” We held each other in silence as Ysayle cleared her throat before letting out a soft laugh, “Forgive us, we had gotten carried away and forgotten them time. I did not realise you would fret so.” My face flushed red as I quickly released Alphinaud, his cheeks a matching shade of scarlet. “Ah, no…sorry, you needn’t apologise Ysayle. I’m just glad you’re both safe.” I clambered to collect the wood that I had caused Alphinaud to drop before heading back to our camp for the night.

“Ah and thank you Alphinaud, for calming my nerves.” Ysayle let out a sigh as she spoke, “I do not know how you do it, to face Primals so fearlessly.” She looked to the floor, “I wish I could be as brave…”

I sighed, “I’m a lot more mortal than people give me credit for. Even I am not impervious to fear of primals or my own death.”

Ysayle and Alphinaud looked at me with shock, “but you are always so composed and confident, I cannot believe you to be afraid!”

I tried to force a smile, “If I didn’t look so, I don’t think nearly as many would place their faith in me...”

Alphinaud put his hand to his chin as he furrowed his brow, “I had no idea…the weight upon your shoulders would surely crush many others.” They seemed to grow despondent from my words as I tried to lift their moods. “Ah…but do not fear..! Tomorrow victory shall be ours Ysayle and we will end this war once and for all. I shall not let any stand in our way.” She nodded, as she regained her composure. “Yes…you are right, we cannot lose sight of our goal. We must do all in our power to see it through to the end.”

I felt relieved when morning finally arrived, I had been so restless I felt as though I hadn’t slept at all. Though it had seemed I was not the only one that had been awake, as Alphinaud’s bed had remained empty for the entirety of the night. I tried to warm myself on the embers remaining of the fire as I gazed at the clouds, the purple of the night sky still lingering. It would soon be time for Ysayle and I to depart and face the Lord of the Hive, Ravana. I stretched as I stood to ready myself before I heard something fall to the ground. As I looked around my feet I found a small wooden carving in the shape of a crystal, adorned by a small blue ribbon. There was something that felt oddly familiar but I couldn’t place where. Was this Ysayle’s charm? But then why would I have it, and I felt certain hers was absent of a ribbon. As I inspected the charm I was startled by Ysayle whispering from the other side of the camp fire.

“Do you like it?”

I looked at her puzzled, “Yes, it’s lovely…but whose is it?” Ysayle smiled as she spoke, “it’s yours, I noticed Alphinaud was making it for you through the night. He seemed to determined to finish it before we left today.” I was speechless as I gazed down at the tiny wooden crystal, I couldn’t help but feel relieved as tears welled in my eyes.
“He seemed worried after our conversation yesterday, I believe it was his way of telling you to come back safely today.” I felt my cheeks turn red, how could something so small make me feel such happiness? I gently ran my fingers over the ribbon that had been in Alphinaud’s hair since we first met, it felt as though I had a piece of him all to myself. I couldn’t help but smile as I spoke, “I…see, thank you Ysayle.”

I turned around to see Alphinaud still sleeping against my Chocobo, grabbing my blanket before walking over to him. He looked exhausted, he must stayed up all night to make this. His hair seemed messier than usual now it wasn’t held in place by his ribbon, though it may have just been the Chocobo feathers.

I smiled to myself as I covered him with the blanket, brushing my hand against his cheek as I spoke softly. “I promise I’ll come back to you…always.” I sat captivated watching him sleep for a few moments before bringing myself back to reality, as much as I wanted to stay I had to force myself to leave. The sun had barely risen as I made my way to face the Lord of the Hive with Ysayle by my side, clutching the charm in my pocket. For this battle, he would be my strength. I would return to his side no matter what, for this day I would let myself be in love with him.  

Following our victory against Ravana, both Ysayle and I found ourselves exhausted as we walked back to join the others. We sighed as we looked to the dark sky, not having seen sunlight at all that day. Ysayle was smiling as she gazed at the tall trees looming overhead, “It seems Alphinaud’s charm worked well.”

 “You’re right, I’ll have to properly thank him when we return.” I felt myself blushing slightly at the thought of speaking to him normally again. Ysayle glanced at my face as I spoke before clearing her throat. “…actually, there is something I’ve been meaning to ask…” I paused before cautiously nodding my head.

Ysayle braced herself as she spoke, “…you and Alphinaud…I have noticed since we began travelling, there is something between the two of you…is there not?” My hair stood on end as I flinched at her words, “Wha…! N-no, there isn’t…!” She laughed slightly as I felt my whole face burn bright red while I struggled to form words. “I see, so there is something between you both! When I noticed how you are around each other that was the only explanation I could think of.”

I felt my hands tremble at her words, “…there may have been at one point but…I decided not to act on my feelings…but they are becoming difficult to ignore…” I choked on my own words as I tried to stifle back the tears that were escaping as the feelings I had suppressed overwhelmed me as they came to the surface all at once. Ysayle seemed to panic as she watched me, “ah, no…please forgive me for prying…I had no idea…” I shook my head, wiping the tears from my eyes as I tried to calm down. A few moments passed before the silence was broken between us as Ysayle bit her lip. “I may be speaking out of turn, but if it is as you say…why can you not confront your feelings? I am certain he feels the same.”

I couldn’t respond, she was right. There was no real reason for me to ignore how I felt for him, I had used our duty as an excuse but…we travelled side by side now, sharing the weight of Eorzea’s problems. I felt more nervous with every step we took, I didn’t know what to do anymore. I had thought only of Eorzea for so long…I had denied myself of a life, of feelings of my own. Could I finally do something in pursuit of my own happiness?

As we finally arrived back, Alphinaud sighed with relief as Estinien strode over grinning, “Thank the twelve!”

“Never did I doubt you warrior of light…unlike some. You were gone so long that Master Alphinaud here nigh lost his wits with worry. Fretting like a maid for her sweetheart, he was!” He jolted backwards slightly at the dragoons words, his cheeks quickly flushing red. “Estinien! Was that truly necessary!?” Estinien let out a laugh before retorting, “Not truly necessary – But certainly true.” Alphinaud furrowed his brow before turning to storm off, as Ysayle snapped. “Estinien, really? Leave the boy alone…” She quickly turned and gave me a stern look, “and you should be going after him!”

I nodded before turning to run after him as I tried to ignore the butterflies now in my stomach. What would I do when I saw him, what would I say? I had only been running a few minutes before I found him walking beneath one of the huge trees that covered the Chocobo forest. I ran and grasped his hand as I tried to catch my breath to speak, “Alphin..aud…wait…” I panted, “I just…wanted…to thank you…for the charm.” He paused, his ears red before he turned to face me. “You needn’t thank me. After hearing what you said yesterday…about being afraid…it seems you reminded me of your own mortality also.”

I hesitated before speaking, “were you really so worried as Estinien said?” His face quickly turned red before he diverted his gaze away from mine. “Of course…you said so yourself, defeating primals is no small feat.” I found myself tightening my grip on his hand as he spoke, “It was nice…to know you would be there waiting when I returned…” I felt my chest grow tight, I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to be close to him again, I want to know how he feels...I couldn’t deny myself that anymore. My mouth felt dry as I forced myself to speak, my pulse racing.

“Alphinaud…I want to ask you something…” He looked at me, slightly baffled as I braced myself, squeezing my eyes shit. “Our last night at Camp Dragonhead…you told me something, I…I know you don’t remember what you said…but-“ I was cut off as I felt myself pulled into Alphinaud’s arms and the warmth of his lips on mine. My head felt light, I couldn’t stop as I pressed myself against him, my body melting in his arms. His lips were so warm and soft as I gently kissed him back, the tension between us gone. It was as though for this moment, we were the only people in the world.

When our lips finally parted, Alphinaud slid his hands down to grasp mine as he spoke. “I remember what I said…” My eyes widened, he had remembered all this time? I stared at him in disbelief as he looked to the ground before speaking again, “But for you to ask now…means you feel the same, does it not?”

My heart felt as though it was in my throat as it beat wildly, “I-”

“Master Alphinaud! I have been looking for you…” We turned to find Estinien marching toward us, “Ysal-Lady Iceheart has sufficiently scolded me and I felt it only proper to come and retrieve you-“ He paused before grinning as he folded his arms, “Ah, but it seems as though I may have interrupted something..” Our faces turned scarlet as we glanced at one another before quickly parting our hands as we recoiled at Estinien’s comment. Alphinaud seemed irritated as he composed himself, clearing his throat to speak.

“Thank you Estinien, for being so uncharacteristically considerate.” The dragoon smirked before turning to head back, beckoning to us. “Come, Lady Iceheart shall not let me sleep unless I return with you both.” Alphinaud sighed as he began to follow Estinien, “It seems there is no helping it. Very well, let us go.” I trailed behind slightly as Estinien continued to tease Alphinaud.

As we walked, I found my fingers lingering on my lips where Alphinaud’s had been just moments ago. I blushed still feeling dizzy from the sudden embrace. It seemed it would be impossible to ignore my feelings for him any longer as I dreamily relived his kiss in my mind, wondering only when I would be able to feel his lips on mine again.