Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Just for the summer, right?”

“Just for the summer.”

The memories of the summer months go through his brain in a blur as he stares out the window of his bedroom. He doesn’t even know why he’s thinking of this right now, it’s a waste of time. 

It was only for the summer. 

It’s November now, and it’s finally cooling down in Sumeru. Everyone is excited for autumn, and ready to bring out their jackets. He doesn’t care too much about the weather or the seasons as long as it doesn’t ruin whatever plans he has for the day. 

He liked the spring time…

Alhaitham quickly gets rid of the thought. He needs to stop thinking about it, about him. He was just a fling, only for those three months. He didn’t matter to Alhaitham anymore. 

“Haitham!! Come clean up your books!” He’s snapped out of his thoughts when he hears his roommate (and friend, he guesses) call for him. 

He sets down the book he was reading previously and makes his way out into the living room. His friend, Kaveh, is sweeping the floor. 

“My books are where they need to be.” 

“They’re cluttering the desks and chairs! It looks messy!” The blond complains. 

“Looks fine to me.” Alhaitham says, only to mess with him. He starts picking up his books anyway. 

“You’re so annoying.” Kaveh rolls his eyes. 

“Yet you stick around.” 

Kaveh doesn’t answer and just continues sweeping. Alhaitham smirks to himself. They’ve been friends for years now; eleven to be exact. They went to the same schools and got paired on a lot of projects and research papers. Having graduated from the same college as top students, they both work there and live in a house provided by the Grand Sage of the Akademiya. They have to pay for rent, but everything else is paid for like electricity, water, and so on and so forth. 

Ever since the day they met, they’ve argued like a married couple. It’s a natural thing for them, and their fights have only escalated twice in their years of friendship. The first time, they didn’t talk for two months. The second, they didn’t talk for eight months. 

Alhaitham considers Kaveh a good friend, though. He’s highly intelligent and talented as an architect. He’s also dependable, and trustworthy. Alhaitham is happy they’re friends. 

He picks up the last book, and flips through it. “I’ve been looking for this one,” he mumbles to himself. 

Something falls out suddenly, and floats to the floor. It’s a white piece of paper. He picks it up and flips it over, finding that it’s not just paper, but instead a picture. 

A picture he remembers all too well. 

“Why don’t you smile?”

“Why don’t you smile?”

“I am.”

“Hardly.”

“Just be quiet and smile. On three… one, two, three,”

snap!

The small polaroid prints from the camera, and they wait for it to become clear. If you look closely, they both have barely-there smiles. 

“Keep it.”

“I have no need for it.” 

“Just take it, asshole.”

He shoves it against Alhaitham’s chest, and Alhaitham sets it on his bedside table. He pushes the other down against his bed, and kisses him gently. Tanned hands come up to his hair, messing it up as the kiss gets deeper, and more intimate. 

Alhaitham pulls away to catch his breath after some time. They both pant heavily against each other’s lips, and the one beneath him smiles. 

“Wish I could take a picture of you like this… it would last longer.”

“Shut up.”

Alhaitham kisses him again, but not before smiling back at him. 

Alhaitham crumples the photo and goes back to his room. He throws the picture into the small trash can and goes back to reading, trying to drown out any lingering thoughts of summer. 

_________________

“Cyno, stop it!” 

Laughs and giggles fill the air as two lovers roll around in the grass on a small hill near Gandarva. They had finished their lunch from a picnic, and are now enjoying the scenery, talking about mundane things. 

Well, they were. 

Until the white haired male suddenly attacked his long-eared lover onto the ground, pressing a million and one kisses onto his face. 

“But you’re so cute, Nari.” Cyno pulls away for a moment to look down at his boyfriend. 

Tighnari’s ear flicks as a blush creeps onto his cheeks. “Take a picture, it would last longer.”

Cyno just stares for a moment, and Tighnari knows he’s fucked up. 

“…Call me a photographer because I can picture us together—“

“Shut up!” 

“Get it? Do you need me to explain? Well, you said—“

“Cyno!” Tighnari groans and leans up to kiss him, only to shut him up. 

Cyno chuckles against his lips. “Sorry, Nari.”

“Yeah, right. Be quiet and kiss me.”

_____________________

Alhaitham finishes off his 4th glass of wine. He’s hardly tipsy, but he is starting to feel it. Next to him, Kaveh is animatedly telling a story about one of his recent projects. He’s well past drunk, but he’s having a good time. Alhaitham still keeps an eye on him, though, because he knows how Kaveh is when drunk. 

However, Alhaitham is trying his best not to react to the situation in front of him. The people Kaveh is talking to are none other than Cyno and his boyfriend Tighnari. Yes, Cyno, the one who he had a summer fling with. Alhaitham has kept his face stoic as usual, but there’s a small ache in his chest. 

He didn’t fall in love with Cyno, no. 

He did feel something, though. 

Alhaitham only felt guilt and pity for himself at the beginning. They had both agreed it was only for the summer, no strings attached. Alhaitham foolishly let his walls down. 

He’s over it now. He no longer kicks himself for having feelings for Cyno. It was dumb to even be sad about it, a waste of his time. 

But sitting here in the lively tavern, watching a past lover with his new lover, well— Alhaitham didn’t expect to feel anything. It’s useless for him, so he’s been ignoring it the whole night. 

Tighnari is nice, though. He’s smart, and funny. He’s a bit sassy and stubborn, but Alhaitham finds those to be redeeming qualities. He respects Tighnari and can see them being friends in the long run. 

Alhaitham and Cyno have barely said a word to each other. It’s Alhaitham’s fault. All he did was greet the matra when they first arrived, after that was radio silence. Cyno tried involving him in the conversation, but he easily dodged, or answered with short, clipped responses. 

Alhaitham orders a bottle of wine to keep at the table. He doesn’t want to run the employees ragged by constantly bringing him drinks. He refills his glass, and then takes a large sip. 

“Ooh, thanks, Haitham!” Kaveh says excitedly upon seeing the bottle of chilled wine. “My cup was getting low!”

Alhaitham scoffs, “As if you need any more.”

He doesn’t stop Kaveh from pouring himself another glass. 

Kaveh doesn’t respond, only sticks his tongue out at the man. How childish, Alhaitham thinks to himself as he hides a smile behind his cup. 

The rest of the night goes smoothly. Alhaitham continues to (more or less) ignore Cyno altogether. Tighnari seemed like he caught on, but left it alone, getting as drunk as Kaveh. When they decided to part ways, Cyno pulled Alhaitham to the side. 

Kaveh and Tighnari began walking off in the direction of his and Kaveh’s house. 

It’s a little windy outside as it’s nearing two in the morning. The tables outside the tavern are empty and only the lights are on, illuminating the front of the building with a soft yellow light. 

“What is it?” Alhaitham says with his arms folded over his chest. He’s not drunk, but he is more than tipsy. 

Cyno had barely drank anything. He prefers to be sober and alert. “Are you alright?”

That’s not what Alhaitham was expecting. “Yes. Why?”

“You were ignoring me the whole night. Are you really okay?”

“Yes, I am fine. Though, I do apologize for not talking to you that much.” Alhaitham says, evading an actual reason to his despondency. 

Cyno sighs. “Why, though? Did I do something?” 

Alhaitham shakes his head. “I’d rather not tell you. It’s a personal matter.”

“…Are we not close enough for you to rely on me?” 

Alhaitham quietly scoffs. “It doesn’t matter whether we’re close or not. I don’t want to tell you, simple as that. Please come get Tighnari when you are ready. See ya.”

Alhaitham walks away, leaving Cyno standing there alone. He reaches home in no time, and goes inside. He walks past Kaveh and Tighnari talking on the couch with cups in their hands. He rolls his eyes. Kaveh is going to complain about a hangover in the morning, and Alhaitham will have to help him. 

“Oh, Haitham! I was just talking about you!” Kaveh says excitedly. 

Kaveh’s face is flushed and his eyes are glossy. His smile is bright as he waits for Alhaitham to say something. 

“I suggest you stop drinking and go to bed. I’m not taking care of your hangover.” Alhaitham says and goes to his room. 

“Asshole!” He hears Kaveh shout. 

Alhaitham changes into pajamas and gets in bed. He puts on his headphones and finds one of his many playlists on his phone to listen to. He falls asleep with past memories on his mind. 

__________________

“I told you so.”

Kaveh throws up again into the toilet as Alhaitham holds his blond hair back. They’ve been like this for a good 10 minutes now, and Alhaitham’s knees are starting to hurt from kneeling on the floor. 

“Shut… the fuck… up, Haitham. I don’t… need… your lectures.” Kaveh says in between deep breaths. He hates throwing up; it hurts his throat so bad that tears spring in his eyes and make his nose run. He spits into the bowl and reaches up to flush it. 

He grabs some tissue to wipe his nose and mouth. Alhaitham continues to hold onto his hair as he says, “You’re right, you don’t. I expect you to have it memorized by now considering how often I’ve told you in the past. Get your shit together, Kaveh.”

Kaveh rolls his eyes. “Let me live my life the way I want. If I want to get blackout drunk then let me. I’ll deal with the consequences on my own.”

“You’ll deal with them on your own? Really?” Alhaitham asks sarcastically, and pulls Kaveh’s hair. 

“Ow! Stop it, asshole! I have a headache!”

Alhaitham does it again then lets go. Kaveh groans in pain as Alhaitham gets up. “I’ll go make your soup.”

“Thanks, I guess.” Kaveh mumbles as he glares at his best friend’s retreating form. 

In the kitchen, Alhaitham gets started on making Kaveh’s soup. A brief memory pops into his head of the first time he made Kaveh’s soup. He nearly killed his senior. However, over time he learned to perfect it for his best friend. Now he makes it when Kaveh is hungover. 

After some time, Kaveh comes into the kitchen and goes about making coffee. 

“Hey, are you alright? You seemed upset last night.” Kaveh says. 

“It’s nothing. I’m fine now, I’m over it.”

“Doesn’t seem like it. Come on, Haitham, I know you better than that. Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Alhaitham sets down the ladle he’s using. “Why? It’s not like you can help.”

Kaveh reaches above the other man to get a mug from the cabinet. “Even if I can’t help, I’d be more than happy to at least listen. You know that.”

Alhaitham doesn’t know what possesses him to do it. Before Kaveh can turn back around to the coffee pot, Alhaitham grips his waist and pulls him closer to his chest. 

Kaveh nearly loses balance, but Alhaitham holds him tighter to keep him upright. 

“Haitham! Let me go!” Kaveh attempts to move away, but the other man’s hold is strong. 

“Wait a moment. I’m trying to see something.”

“What is it? Does it have to involve me?”

Alhaitham then moves one of his hands upward to the back of Kaveh’s head, tangling in the blond locks. He stares at Kaveh, as the blond stares back wide eyed. 

“Haitham? Seriously, what’s wrong? You’re freaking me out.” Kaveh says quietly. 

“… I don’t get it. Why does it look so easy for him?” Alhaitham says vaguely. 

“Who are you talking about?” Kaveh asks. He knows about what happened in the summer, but he doesn’t know that Alhaitham had real feelings for Cyno. 

Alhaitham lets him go. “Cyno.”

Kaveh doesn’t move. “What about him? What looks easy? Don’t be vague, Haitham.”

“Why does it look so easy for him to be with Tighnari? You know I think it’s a waste of time to think about the past, but for some reason…”

Kaveh stares for a moment, and then his eyes widen in realization. “Oh. Oh, Haitham, I’m so sorry. I should’ve noticed! But, are you okay? Jealousy is an ugly emotion, in my opinion—“

“Jealousy? Is that what it is?” Alhaitham interrupts. 

Kaveh nods. “Yes it is, unfortunately. Did you actually love Cyno—“

“There was no love involved. I had feelings for him, and that’s it. Seeing him with Tighnari just made me a little upset. How did he move on that fast?”

Kaveh’s eyes soften as he hugs Alhaitham. He’s hesitant, but Alhaitham hugs back. Kaveh would give him shit for it, so he might as well just do it. 

“It was only a fling, Haitham. No strings attached. He honored that, yet you didn’t. It’s honestly surprising, but there’s a first for everything.”

“… Do you know if they’re a recent relationship?” Alhaitham asks instead. He feels Kaveh give him a light squeeze and it calms him down almost immediately. He will never admit this. 

“Tighnari tells me they met a year ago, but Cyno started actively pursuing him in the… summer. He knew about you guys, though, and apparently didn’t mind it. He knew Cyno’s feelings for him were true, despite only having a sexual relationship with you.”

Alhaitham doesn’t know how to feel about that. It’s a little weird, but… Alhaitham sighs and subtly leans his head against Kaveh’s. The blond smiles small and hugs him tighter. 

“I’m sorry, Haitham.”

“No need for that. It’s my own fault.” Alhaitham lets him go and Kaveh steps back. He turns back to the soup on the stove, and gives it a stir. “It’s done.”

“Okay.” Kaveh says with a smile. 

______________________

This jealousy is lasting longer than Alhaitham likes. 

It’s ruining his day, and not letting him get anything done. He can barely read without thinking of Cyno and Tighnari. He’s happy that Cyno is happy, but it’s still a bittersweet feeling. 

He sighs and tosses his book aside on the couch. Kaveh looks up from some blueprints he’s been working on for the past hour. 

“That is the tenth time you’ve sighed in the last twenty minutes. What’s up?” Kaveh asks, setting his pencil down. 

The bright sunlight pouring in is shining just right on Kaveh’s hair, making it look more golden than normal. His hair is free from its usual braids and clips, sporting a messy bun instead. His hands are covered in pencil and charcoal marks. His baggy t-shirt is slipping off on one shoulder, and if Alhaitham looks closer (he does) he recognizes it as his own shirt from high school. 

Kaveh has always been handsome. Alhaitham knows this, he isn’t blind. But, he looks especially good right now, and Alhaitham can’t figure out why. He sees his friend like this nearly every day. It’s a thought for a different time. 

“Kaveh… I need your help,” 

“You never ask me for help. What kind of scam is this?”

Alhaitham is about to talk out of his ass right now for the first time in his life. 

“Think of my deal as an opportunity to fend off those creepy guys always hitting on you.”

“I quite like the attention, but go on.” Kaveh looks at him with a brow raised, intrigued at what Alhaitham has to offer. 

Alhaitham rolls his eyes. “Anyway, I’m saying that we should date. Only pretend, of course.” 

Kaveh’s eyes widen as he stares at his friend like he’s grown 3 extra heads. “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me.” 

“Yeah, I fucking heard you! What the hell are you talking about? Don’t play with me!” Kaveh glares at him. 

Hm. 

This is going worse than Alhaitham thought. That’s never happened before. 

“I’m not messing around. You get to flaunt our fake relationship, and I…” Alhaitham trails off, not bothering to finish his sentence because—

“…It’s Cyno, isn’t it? What, you wanna make him jealous? He’s in love, Haitham. Don’t take that away from him just because you’re bitter.”

“I’m not,” Alhaitham raises his voice louder than normal, but not an actual shout. “It’s not that. I just… want to know how it feels. Cyno was my first and only relationship, though it was purely sexual. He looks so happy.”

Kaveh bites his lip, and stares down at his drawing. He picks up his pencil and erases a line to fix it. “Haitham, I appreciate your trust in me, but I really think you should find someone you actually like.”

“I do like you.”

“Well, I’m your friend, you have to like me. Also, I’ve never heard you say that, so I’ll cherish this moment for a long time.”

Alhaitham crosses one of his legs over the other. “Kaveh, you’re the only person I trust. I don’t want to waste time waiting on someone.”

Kaveh goes back to drawing. “Why don’t you ask Aether? He’d probably love to help you!”

Alhaitham scoffs at him, “And risk Xiao’s wrath? I’d rather save myself the trouble. Why can’t you do it? Are you suddenly in a relationship? If so, why don’t I know?”

Kaveh’s face blooms a bright red and it’s a pretty color on him. “No! I’m still single, thank you very much! You didn’t have to bring that up.”

“Well, now is your chance. I wouldn’t waste this opportunity if I were you.”

“Ugh! Haitham! I want a real relationship!”

“Think of this as practice. Lesser Lord knows you need it.” Alhaitham got up from the couch and stretched. 

“Asshole! Fine! I’ll be your fake ass boyfriend! I’ll show you just how caring and boyfriend-y I can be!”

Alhaitham starts walking towards his room, his back turned to Kaveh, and a smirk hidden on his face. “Good, I expect nothing less.”

It’s quiet until Alhaitham reaches his room. Just before he closes the door, he hears, “WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE! HAITHAM—“

_______________________

“Hey, where have you been, party animal?” 

“None of your business. I’m going to bed.”

“Whoa, whoa! Hold on! Is that a hickey I see? Haitham, since when—“

“Since never. Goodnight, Kaveh.”

He feels a tug on his arm, and automatically stops in his tracks. “Hey, wait. What’s wrong? Did something happen? Talk to me.”

He looks down to the floor, contemplating if he should tell his best friend. 

Oh. 

That’s his answer right there. 

“I met this guy tonight. We hooked up, and that’s it. Can I go to bed now?”

The blond stares at his friend in disbelief. “You did? That’s insane, but good for you. Finally getting out of your comfort zone. But… There’s more. You see through me all the time. It’s my turn.”

He sighs and subconsciously squeezes the hand in his. “We had an… agreement. We got along decently, and the sex was good. We decided why stop at one night when we can do it all summer. He wasn’t interested in anything serious, and it gives me something to do during summer.”

“… So you formed an FWB relationship with some guy you just met? No strings attached? Just like that?”

He nods once. 

His friend claps him on the back. “Well, I never thought I’d see the day! Congrats, Haitham! Don’t go falling in love now!” 

The blond laughs as he walks back to his work station. He rolls his eyes at his friend’s back. 

“I would never.” 

_____________________

“How does this work?”

It’s a sunny day in Sumeru City, yet still a bit chilly. The wind is blowing softly and people are in long pants and light jackets. The two men don’t have work today, so they decided to get started on their fake dating mission. 

Kaveh grabs his hand, and laces their fingers together. “Let’s start with this. This should be easy, we hold hands a lot.”

“Correction: you hold my hand a lot.”

Kaveh stomps his foot with a glare. “Shut up! Now, we don’t have to do this all the time, but enough times to where people will think we’re together. If we go to a restaurant or something, we have to sit close together—“

“You already do that.”

“No I don’t! Stop interrupting me! And PDA needs to happen naturally. If it’s awkward people will notice. Understand?”

Alhaitham sighs and nods. “Sure, got it.” 

Kaveh smiles and drags him along through the bustling streets of all the stalls. It’s lively today since it’s the weekend, and many people are out shopping. There’s kids running around and a few waves to Kaveh as they zoom by. 

“You’re popular.” Alhaitham comments as they come to a fruit stall. Kaveh lets his hand go to inspect the choices. 

Kaveh shrugs. “I’m around here a lot. Ooh, they have sunsettias today.” 

Alhaitham watches as Kaveh picks a few sunsettias out. He pays the vendor and puts the fruit in the basket he brought. Kaveh smiles at the vendor before dragging him off to another stall. 

“You doing okay, Haitham?” Kaveh asks after going to three more stalls. “You’ve barely spoken, and you usually have a lot to say about me.”

Kaveh chuckles and takes them to a bench to sit down. He sets his basket down and takes out an apple to munch on. 

“I’m just thinking, nothing worth mentioning.” Alhaitham responds. 

“I find that hard to believe, but whatever you say. Do you ever stop thinking, and do something impulsive, or fun?”

“Yeah, I asked you to do this, didn’t I?”

Kaveh scoffs. “Yeah, this was very impulsive of you. But besides that, have you? I’ve known you for so long, but I can’t think of any time where you did something without thinking.”

Alhaitham crosses his arms over his chest. “That’s impossible. People are always thinking, so we can’t just stop. I thought about asking you to do this for a mere second; that’s all I needed.”

Kaveh smiles warmly, and leans over to put his head on Alhaitham’s shoulder. “Glad to know you trust me enough.”

“Don’t push it.”

Kaveh laughs heartily at that. 

_____________________

“Hey, is that Kaveh and Alhaitham? Are they… holding hands?” 

Cyno looks away from the cards in his hands. He stares in the direction Tighnari is looking. Indeed it is those two holding hands and shopping. 

“Oh, I never thought the day would come. Alhaitham is such a stick in the mud, and isn’t good at expressing his feelings.”

Tighnari arranges his TCG cards to use a melt reaction against Cyno. The white haired male makes a small noise when the hit takes more damage than expected. 

“Alhaitham likes Kaveh? That’s surprising. It seems the other way around.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Kaveh only talks about him. Whether it’s complaining or just mentioning something Alhaitham did in passing.”

Cyno rubs his chin, and then decides to heal his characters for his turn. Tighnari raises a brow at that but doesn’t say anything. 

“Alhaitham is the same way. During our brief relationship, he talked about Kaveh a lot. I never really said anything because I assumed he had it all figured out.”

“Even though he was sleeping with you?” 

Tighnari attacks again with a normal attack, getting rid of half of Cyno’s recently regained health. Cyno grunts in shock, feeling competitive. He takes his time setting up his next move. Tighnari rolls his eyes. 

“Yes. It was between him and Kaveh. But I’m glad they sorted it out.” Cyno responds. 

He quickly arranges his cards for an attack, and strikes. It knocks out the main card Tighnari is using. Cyno has a smug smile while Tighnari shakes his head. 

“It’s just a game, babe.”

“It’s a game I’m winning at, so let me have this.”

“You win all the time.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“You won last week.”

“That was only because you somehow brought the wrong deck.”

“…Why can’t pirates play cards?”

“Cyno, don’t—“

“Because they’re standing on the deck. Get it? Do you need me to explain it? Well, you see—“

“Cyno!”

_________________________

They’re out for drinks again on a Friday night. Lambad’s is lively as usual with music playing and patrons drunkenly shouting or singing. The four men sit at a booth, drunk and having a good time. 

Currently, Tighnari and Kaveh are finishing up their TCG match. They’re both drunk, words slurring together, and room spinning. They laugh every time they do something dumb and it’s making Cyno irritated. He’s been trying to help Tighnari win, but to no avail. Tighnari just snatches his cards away. 

Kaveh is usually quick with his games, not liking to play for a long time. He says his brain just goes on autopilot and basically plays the game itself. He’s a genius when it comes to TCG, but he still has yet to beat Cyno. He’s working on it. 

Just like how he’s working on trying to shake the dice in the cup. 

“Kaveh, just roll the dice.” Alhaitham says, sipping his drink. He’s a bit tipsy. 

“Shut up, I got it!” Kaveh yells back. To prove his point, he finally throws the dice out. It’s a bad roll, but he’s too drunk to notice. Alhaitham doesn’t say anything and Cyno facepalms. 

“Oh, I believe a congratulations is in order.” Cyno says after a few minutes of watching the poorly played duel. 

“For what?” Alhaitham responds. He pours himself another glass of wine. 

“You and Kaveh.”

“What did we do?” Alhaitham asks, confused. The fact that they’re fake dating slips his mind the more he drinks. 

Cyno’s expression changes a minuscule, but Alhaitham picks it up. He hates himself for it. “Are you not boyfriends? It sure looked like it at the market the other day.”

Alhaitham scoffs. “We’re not—“

Then he remembers. 

Alhaitham clears his throat unnecessarily (don’t tell Cyno). “Oh, right. Sorry, I’m not used to the label change, yet.”

“Ah, I see. Well, congrats. I’m glad to see you’ve moved on.”

Alhaitham stares down into his cup, his blurry reflection staring back. Moved on? If anything it feels like Alhaitham has been going backwards this whole time. Everything is a mess. 

“Right. Thanks. I’m gonna get some fresh air.” Alhaitham gets up before he gets a response and heads out the tavern. He goes to the side of the building for a bit of privacy, and leans over the railing. 

He listens to the crickets as they chirp in the crisp night air. Taking a deep breath, he tries to relax his tense muscles. He feels a little drunk, but it’s not so bad. His mind is a tangled mess, and for once he has no clue what to do. 

Should he be using Kaveh this way? Cyno didn’t seem upset about them “dating”. If anything, he looked proud. Alhaitham has never been petty towards anyone, it was a waste of time. So, why did he want Cyno to feel how he does?

Alhaitham knows he had some type of feelings for Cyno, but he never thought it would turn out this way. He was a bit… indifferent when he found out Cyno and Tighnari were together. He refuses to say hurt because he wasn’t. And he still isn’t. 

It’s just… weird to see them together. 

He didn’t think when he asked Kaveh to fake date. He wasn’t thinking at all, for once. It was so unlike him, and he felt out of place. However, now that he’s thinking about it…

“Hey.”

Alhaitham looks up to his left and sees Kaveh standing there. The blonde is smiling with rosy cheeks as he walks closer. Well, stumbles closer. They’re shoulder to shoulder now. 

Kaveh is warm. 

“Why are you out here? You okay?”

“Yeah, I just needed some air. It was stuffy in there.”

“Liar. What were you thinking about?”

“Are you really okay with this?” 

The truth is a useful tool, Alhaitham supposes. 

Kaveh blinks at him. “With what?”

“The fake relationship.”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. If it helps you, I’ll do it.” Kaveh smiles again and Alhaitham thinks he’ll go blind staring at it. 

Alhaitham spares him a glance. “Are you just saying that because you’re drunk right now?”

“I am, in fact, drunk. But! I am being truthful. I’ll admit, it threw me off when you first mentioned it. Also kind of pissed me off. Then you told me why. I figured I had to help you because you’re my friend. My best friend at that.”

Kaveh leans his head on Alhaitham’s shoulder. The blonde is feeling sleepy now, Alhaitham just knows it. 

“Yeah. Thanks, I guess.”

“Can you ever thank me properly? Haitham is so mean to Kaveh.” Kaveh pouts as his eyes close. 

“Shut up, whiny baby.” Alhaitham retorts, smiling softly as he stares at Kaveh. 

“You… shut up…” Kaveh mumbles, finally succumbing to sleep. 

Alhaitham chuckles quietly, and looks up at the starry night sky. And if his heart skipped a beat or his stomach fluttered, no one has to know.

___________________________

“If you fall asleep, I’ll leave you here for the rishbolands.”

“How cruel.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I guess you would call it… a cruel summer.”

“Your jokes are already bad enough. Please don’t drag Taylor Swift into this; she doesn’t deserve it.”

Cyno sighs. “You’re right. I knew that all too well.”

“Shut up.”

Cyno chuckles quietly, and gets more comfortable on Alhaitham’s lap. “I’m more concerned that you recognize these titles.”

Alhaitham rolls his eyes. “Kaveh. I never pegged you as a fan, either.”

It’s Cyno’s turn to roll his eyes. “Collei. She loves T. Swift.”

“Kaveh plays her music nonstop. Especially when he’s hammering away at two in the morning. He might as well have been hammering the lyrics into my head.”

“… Were you cursing his name?”

“I absolutely cannot stand you.”

“That’s fair, I can’t stand you either.”

“I can’t stand Kaveh, either. So, you’re not alone. He’s annoying and loud. I can’t believe I’ve put up with him for all these years. I should really kick him out; he’s taking up too much space.”

Cyno listens as Alhaitham complains (as usual) about his roommate and friend of eleven years. He doesn’t think Alhaitham realizes it, yet, so he’ll keep quiet and let the taller man figure it out. And when that happens, Cyno knows he’ll be so proud. 

_____________________________

Waking up with a hangover isn’t fun. 

Admitting you actually have a hangover also isn’t fun. 

Alhaitham wakes up before Kaveh like always. When they drink, they both wake up later, but he still rises before the blonde. He checks the time and it's 11:30am. He has a headache and his stomach hurts, but he goes to the bathroom like nothing is wrong. 

He takes a shower, puts on some lounge clothes, and pops some painkillers into his mouth. He goes into the kitchen to start brewing coffee and gets started on Kaveh’s soup. 

It’s all so domestic. 

Kaveh comes into the kitchen thirty minutes later, and hangs off of Alhaitham’s back. He buries his face into  Alhaitham’s back, groaning like a zombie. 

“Haithaaaaaam! I’m tireddddd.”

“Go back to sleep, then.” The painkillers are just now kicking in for him. Thank archons, he thinks to himself. 

He can’t deal with a hungover Kaveh with a pounding headache, and raging stomach ache. Which has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of alcohol he drank last night. Absolutely not. 

“Noooo, I want soup.” 

Kaveh hugs him tighter and Alhaitham fights back a fond smile. He turns the stove off, and grabs the bowl he set out earlier. “Go sit.”

Kaveh groans again as he slinks off of Alhaitham and sits at the dining table. Alhaitham drops a few cubes of ice into the soup to cool it faster because he knows Kaveh will complain about it being too hot. Alhaitham doesn’t understand how anyone can eat soup. It’s hard to read while eating it. 

He sets the bowl in front of Kaveh along with painkillers and water. 

“I have a question,” Kaveh starts, after taking the medicine and eating a few spoonfuls. “Has this fake relationship helped you at all?”

Alhaitham, who is cleaning the dishes, thinks for a moment before responding, “It’s only been four days.”

“True… Am I doing a good job at least? Any critiques?”

“… Surprisingly, no.”

Kaveh smiles at that. “Great! I told you I’m the damn best boyfriend ever!”

Alhaitham rolls his eyes, glad that his back is towards Kaveh as a smile creeps onto his face. “Shut up, don’t get a bigger head than you already have.”

“Hey!”

_______________________

Two weeks go by quicker than ever. 

Alhaitham and Kaveh find time between work to flaunt their fake relationship and honestly, Alhaitham is having fun. He’s enjoying it. Kaveh is treating him well, and it almost seems genuine. 

They hold hands a lot, or always just touch each other in some type of way. Kaveh gives him kisses on the cheek and Alhaitham tries his best to reciprocate, though he’s a bit awkward about it. Kaveh blushes profusely when Alhaitham compliments him, and Alhaitham does the same, but he can hide it better. 

Alhaitham finds it easy to say those things. 

“Your hair looks nice today.”

“I like that shirt on you.”

“Your eyes are shining more than usual today.”

It feels comfortable falling off his tongue, even in front of people. Alhaitham won’t admit it out loud, but he’s always thought Kaveh was handsome. He may be a bit aloof, but he isn’t blind. The blonde is good-looking, and dare he say it, pretty. 

Kaveh is pretty. 

Alhaitham finds himself thinking exactly that as he watches Kaveh tell a story about a recent client. He says watches because he’s heard the story at home, and Kaveh’s hands are flying everywhere. Alhaitham had to keep moving his glass of wine around so the man wouldn't knock it over.

“And then the bastard had the audacity to say it’s ugly! That’s what you asked for, idiot! I swear, one of these days I’ll go bald from yanking my hair out!”

“Maybe you’ll be more handsome if you were bald.” Alhaitham says teasingly. 

Tighnari chuckles as Cyno takes his turn in their duel.

“Hey! Shut up! I’m handsome no matter what!”

“Sure you are, babe.”

“You—!” Kaveh glares at him as he blushes at the pet name. They’ve been practicing those, but Alhaitham didn’t seem interested. So for him to suddenly say one is making Kaveh feel all out of sorts. 

Alhaitham smirks and takes a sip of wine. Kaveh rolls his eyes and looks away, trying to hide how attractive he thinks Alhaitham is. 

Kaveh has always known Alhaitham was attractive. Hot as fuck, if you will. He also knows his own looks aren’t too bad, but Alhaitham is on a different level. He keeps telling everyone to not believe the scribe’s “feeble scholar” act. Alhaitham’s face is chiseled with buff arms and a well defined chest. It doesn’t help that his normal attire consists of a tight black shirt and tight pants. 

There is nothing feeble about Alhaitham. 

If Kaveh could get his hands on—

“Kaveh! Earth to Kaveh!” 

The blond flinches as a hand snaps in front of him. The other guys are looking at him mostly with confusion and concern, but Alhaitham—

Alhaitham’s eyes are shining. 

Kaveh quickly looks away from him and pretends to clear his throat. “Sorry, what did you say?”

He takes a sip of wine. 

“I said,” Cyno speaks. “Would you like to duel me?”

Kaveh looks down at the table and sees that the game between Cyno and Tighnari has ended. “Oh, no thanks. Not tonight, Cy.”

“Very well then.” Cyno says as he packs the game away. Kaveh can tell he’s a bit upset, but it’s a little cute. Cyno really loves TCG. 

Tighnari rolls his eyes. “We can play some more later, okay?” 

Cyno’s eyes widen a bit as he stares at his boyfriend. “Really? Cool.”

Cyno is fairly expressionless, so when he does show emotions on his face it’s endearing to see. 

“Ahh, Cyno you’re so cute! You love that game a lot, huh?” Kaveh says. He couldn’t help himself. He had to say something!

This startles Cyno. His eyes really widen as he stares in disbelief at Kaveh. “What?”

Kaveh giggles as he downs his wine, then slams the cup onto the table. “You’re pouting! That’s so cute!”

Tighnari chuckles. “He is kind of cute when he pouts, hm?” 

The fox pinches his boyfriend’s cheek that’s slowly turning red from embarrassment. Cyno just huffs and looks away with his arms folded over his chest. Kaveh giggles some more, quietly cooing at him. 

Alhaitham watches as the scene unfolds, and a feeling stirs in his gut. It isn’t a good feeling, he knows that. He just can’t name it. He hardly ever feels this way, so he always disregarded it whenever it arose. He never thought twice about it. Alhaitham now wishes he tried to name it. 

Alhaitham finishes his wine and sets the cup down. He. clears his throat so the others can hear him. Which was loud, seeing as the three of them jumped from the sudden noise. 

“Excuse us, but Kaveh and I have to go now. We have an appointment we have to be awake early for. Let’s go.” Alhaitham’s tone left no room for arguments, but Kaveh is forever a big mouth. 

“What? No we don’t! We can stay!” Kaveh whines. 

Alhaitham remembers how just a second ago Kaveh was complimenting Cyno, and calling him… cute. 

He glares at Kaveh.

“Let’s go.” 

He grabs Kaveh’s wrist, and pulls him out of the chair. Tighnari tries to speak up, but Cyno stops him. “That’s fine. Good evening, you two.”

“Wait! Haitham! Nari, I—!” Kaveh’s voice fades out as Alhaitham drags him out of the tavern. 

Tighnari looks at Cyno. “What just happened?”

Cyno sighs. “Jealousy is an ugly emotion.”

___________________________

“Haitham! What has gotten into you?!” Kaveh yells as they enter the house. 

“… I don’t know.” Alhaitham answers honestly. He hangs up his keys on the hook and removes his shoes. 

“You don’t know? What the fuck type of answer is that? Give me a real reason!” Kaveh stomps further into the house and Alhaitham follows him into the living room. 

 “I said I don’t know, Kaveh. Let’s leave it at that.” 

“No! I was having a good time, and you ruined it for bullshit! If you weren’t having fun, you could’ve come home by yourself.” 

They’re standing face to face now. Alhaitham is slightly taller and it’s been a thorn in Kaveh’s side. He can clearly see Alhaitham’s teal eyes, and can tell how much he drank. He’s tipsy, damn near drunk. Kaveh scoffs. 

“You’re drunk, aren’t you? Figures.” 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Alhaitham retorts. 

“You don’t act like this when you’re sober. You have a reason for doing everything. You never do anything spontaneously. So, tell me, what’s wrong?”

Kaveh’s eyes search Alhaitham’s, trying to see if anything would give him away. 

“I already told you, I don’t know. I don’t know how to call this… feeling.”

“Can you describe it? Also, what caused it?”

Alhaitham breaks their eye contact to look at the floor. “It’s… not a great feeling. You kept calling Cyno cute and the feeling hit me out of nowhere. I don’t like it. I also didn’t like you calling Cyno cute.”

Kaveh stands there in shock as he listens to him. Is he…? No, it can’t be. Alhaitham doesn’t feel things like that. But what if?

Kaveh drunkenly decides to take his chance. 

“That’s jealousy, Haitham.” He takes a few steps closer. 

“That can’t be. You have nothing that I desire.” 

Kaveh pretends that didn’t sting. 

“No, not jealous of me. Jealous of Cyno. It’s only natural. I’d be jealous, too, if my boyfriend were calling other guys cute. Right in front of his face, no less.”

One step closer. 

“I’m not your boyfriend.”

Alhaitham hasn’t moved as Kaveh gets closer. They’re nearly bumping noses, and can feel each other’s breath. The house is cold, but the air around them is warm, getting hotter by the second. 

“You don’t need to be my boyfriend to feel jealous.” Kaveh mumbles, eyes flickering down to Alhaitham’s lips then back up to his eyes. 

“Kaveh, if there’s something you want, then take it.” Alhaitham says, hesitantly placing his hands on Kaveh’s waist. 

Oh. 

Maybe Kaveh should rethink this. 

Kaveh nearly laughs, though. Alhaitham truly doesn’t say what he actually wants, does he? He shakes his head. “We’re drunk, and… I might not be able to stop.”

He places a hand on Alhaitham’s cheek, and gently rubs his thumb across his cheekbone. It’s warm and the younger man subtly leans into his palm. 

“What if I don’t want to stop?” Alhaitham says. He’s really trying, isn’t he?

This time Kaveh chuckled. “Haitham, no. I won’t take advantage of my junior like that. How about we wait until we’re sober, okay? We’ll see what we feel then.”

Alhaitham’s hold on his waist tightens a little as he takes a deep breath. Then he lets go.

Kaveh smiles. “Good boy,” He moves his hand from the younger’s cheek to pat his head, “Get some sleep, okay? And drink some water beforehand. Goodnight, Haitham.”

Kaveh pecks his cheek and goes to his room, ignoring the panging of his heart. 

______________________________

Alhaitham has been up for hours now. 

It’s nearly noon, but he’s been awake since 8am. It’s not like him to sleep in, but he can’t get out of bed. His thoughts of last night are weighing him down. He isn’t ashamed of what he said and did, but he fears he made Kaveh uncomfortable. That’s the last thing he wanted to do. 

He hears Kaveh moving around the house, no doubt cleaning. He wonders how the blonde feels. Would he even face Alhaitham? No one’s opinion or feelings ever mattered to Alhaitham, except Kaveh’s. It’s unusual for him, but he’s a little anxious about it. If Kaveh decides he doesn’t want to talk to or see Alhaitham, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. 

He sighs deeply and massages his temples; he can feel a headache coming. He sits up in bed, and attempts to get up, but he simply can’t. He checks his phone for the time, and sighs again. He’ll try again in 30 minutes. 

__________

Kaveh is wiping down the counters in the kitchen as music plays from the speaker. He’s dancing along to it, but nearly knocks over one of Alhaitham’s mugs. He quickly moves it to the cupboard so he doesn’t break it. He doesn’t feel like hearing Haitham yell at him. 

Speaking of…

“Where is he?” Kaveh wonders out loud. It’s the afternoon and Kaveh hasn’t seen the younger one all morning. 

He hopes Alhaitham isn’t too hungover. Kaveh himself woke up fine actually, so it would be a little surprising if Alhaitham is the one with a bad hangover. If he did, it’s so like him to not ask Kaveh for help. The blonde shakes his head and sighs. 

Or maybe he’s feeling embarrassed about last night? Wait, no, that doesn't even sound right. Alhaitham embarrassed? Those two words don’t even go together. Kaveh chuckles. 

“Silly me. Though I wonder…” 

Last night was a rush for Kaveh. It threw him off guard a bit that Alhaitham was jealous. Kaveh calling Cyno cute was more of a playful gesture, plus he was drunk so there wasn’t anything to be jealous of. But Kaveh can’t ignore the fact that he liked that Alhaitham was jealous. 

Well, him feeling that way goes towards the goal, right? That’s what this whole fake dating thing is about. Alhaitham wants to know what it’s like to be in a relationship. A little jealousy is normal, so Kaveh thinks his mission is nearly complete. 

Kaveh smiles triumphantly and continues cleaning. He grabs the broom to sweep the living room. He’s in the middle of loudly belting out the lyrics to a Taylor Swift song when he remembers. 

Alhaitham wanted to kiss him last night. 

Kaveh gasps and drops the broom. 

“Holy shit,” He whispers to himself. “Haitham wanted to— He wanted me to— Oh, fuck. How did I forget that?” 

Then he remembers the feeling of wanting to kiss him as well. He lets out a small yelp as his cheeks burn red. 

“I wanted to— No, that can’t be— Well—“

Kaveh is probably having a crisis. 

Wait, Kaveh is getting ahead of himself. They were drunk. Sexual tension is heightened when under the influence. He thinks. And they were standing very close, so of course they wanted to kiss. It’s only natural! 

He thinks. 

Kaveh groans loudly. Should he talk to someone about this? Should he talk to Alhaitham? Would it be awkward between them? Kaveh doesn’t want that. Maybe Tighnari? Yeah, that could work. The fox seems reliable. 

____________________

“You’re an idiot.”

Kaveh groans as he dumps his head in his hands. He just told Tighnari everything he was thinking of earlier while cleaning. This is Tighanri’s first and only response. 

“Nari, come on! Help me!”

The fox snorts as he sips his water. They’re in Tighnari’s kitchen sitting at the bar. He eats a grape, and responds after swallowing. 

“Kaveh, I’m glad we’re so close to where we can share things like this. Because of that, I’m being truthful by calling you an idiot. Alcohol loosens us up, so we’re able to say or do things we normally wouldn’t. While sober, we are able to control ourselves, but under any type of influence that goes out the window.”

“I don’t know what that means!” Kaveh whines.

He didn’t sign up for this (he did)! He came for help, not a therapy session (this is help)!

Tighnari sighs as his tail twitches. “Kaveh, listen to me. You’re beautiful and intelligent, so don’t be dumb about this. You’re also a damn cancer, so you know emotions really well. Just tell him how you feel.”

Kaveh looks at his friend like he’s grown two heads. 

What.

“What.”

Tell Alhaitham how he feels? Anytime he tells Alhaitham anything, the man just dismisses it and gives a bullshit, logical reasoning. 

“You love him, no?”

“LOVE?” Kaveh shouts, eyes wide. Love? He doesn’t love Alhaitham. Well, sure he loves his best friend, but he isn’t stupid (at least, not much). He knows how Tighnari meant it. 

Kaveh isn’t in love. 

He doesn’t even know what love is. 

Tighnari nods slowly. “Yeah, it makes the most sense. Think about it: you talk about him so much, I know things that I probably shouldn’t. Like how he has a mole on the right, lower side of his back. Or, that he likes his tea with two spoons of sugar, a splash of milk, and shit load of honey. Or—“

“Okay, I get it! I tell you a lot of shit about him! But that’s not because I’m in love with him! I tell you those things to confide in you. I need to tell you about what’s been bothering me because we’re friends. I’d listen and help you if this was about Cyno.”

Kaveh just has a lot of frustrations to let out about Alhaitham. Sure, they’re friends, but the man still pisses Kaveh off sometimes. Kaveh is still learning how Alhaitham’s mind works. That part is so complex to him, he never really knows what Alhaitham is thinking. 

He’d like to know, though. 

Kaveh always wonders what Alhaitham is thinking. 

He also wonders how Alhaitham would be in an actual relationship, since they’re pretending at the moment. He wonders if Alhaitham would always hold his hand, or just be touching him in some way. Would he whisper sweet nothings in Kaveh’s ear at night as they lie together? Would he comfort Kaveh in the middle of the night when the blonde has yet another nightmare about his father? 

Would Alhaitham be able to love him back?

Kaveh feels tears prick his eyes the more he thinks about it. This isn’t new to him. Kaveh used to think like this years ago. He had a crush on Alhaitham when they first started talking, but that was years ago. Alhaitham never expressed any type of romantic feelings for Kaveh, so the blonde gave up. He slept around, and eventually he forgot about it. 

Until now. 

Suddenly, there’s a warm caressing his back. Kaveh jumps a bit, and turns to look at Tighnari. The fox is smiling comfortingly at him, but it’s a little blurry due to Kaveh’s tears. 

“Nari…” Kaveh whispers. 

“I know.” His friend responds, just as soft. He opens his arms and Kaveh easily falls into them. 

“I… It’s always been there, Nari. For years— Goddamn, it’s been years.” Kaveh cries into Tighnari’s shoulder. 

“I bet it has, Kaveh. What are you going to do?” 

“I can’t tell him. I won’t. That isn’t the point of this whole fake dating thing. He doesn’t love me back, anyway. He never will.” Kaveh explains almost bitterly. 

“What?” Tighnari asks, gently pushing Kaveh away, and holding him by the shoulders. “Fake dating thing?”

Kaveh’s eyes widened. How did he forget the most important part of this? 

“Well, uh, hm. I’m not sure how much I can tell you. He wanted to… see what being in a relationship is like. So, he asked me to show him.” Kaveh looks down at his hands, picking at his fingernails. 

Tighnari doesn’t know what to say. He stares at Kaveh for a moment, trying to gather his words. He takes a deep breath. 

“Kaveh, are you okay?” 

“Yes, why?”

“Wouldn’t faking a relationship with someone you’re in love with, hurt you?” 

Kaveh shrugs. “I didn’t know I loved him when he asked. Besides, he practically begged me to help him.”

Tighnari gives him a look. 

Kaveh rolls his eyes. “Okay, fine he didn’t beg me! But, he really wanted my help so I couldn’t say no.”

“Can I ask why he asked you to do this?” 

Kaveh bites his lip. “I’m not sure… It involves Cyno. And you as an extension.”

“Us?” Tighnari asks. He thinks for a moment. “Is he curious about relationships since Cyno and I are together?”

Kaveh sighs. “That’s one way to put it. I just don’t feel comfortable telling you the real reason. I’m sorry.” 

Tighnari shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. I understand. Are you sure you’re okay with it? I mean now that you’ve realized…”

Kaveh leans forward to bury his face into Tighnari’s neck. The fox hugs him tight. 

“I don’t know. Should I break it off?”

“Yes.” Tighnari answers immediately. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

“I know, but… It’s so nice. It may be fake, but he’s so sweet. I mean he’s still an asshole, but I can tolerate it. Even when we’re alone, he…”

Kaveh starts crying all over again. It’s fake, it’s fake, it’s fake. He needs to remind himself. Alhaitham doesn’t love him. He probably doesn’t even like Kaveh romantically. It’s impossible. Alhaitham doesn’t do feelings or emotions, he only uses facts and logic. 

Now Kaveh wonders how Cyno did it. 

How did he make Alhaitham fall for him? What does Cyno have that Kaveh doesn’t? Kaveh has known Alhaitham for years; Cyno has only been in the picture for a few months. How did he end up having actual romantic feelings for Cyno?

Kaveh feels a bit of anger now. He’s mad at Alhaitham and at himself. He’s not mad at Cyno, he can’t be. He would feel guilty. Cyno didn’t even do anything wrong. Kaveh has been by Alhaitham’s side through everything. He’s been there through all the ups and downs, he’s helped Alhaitham through his toughest moments. 

And yet he still chose Cyno to love. 

______________________

The house is silent. 

The soft pattering of the rain hits the windows. 

All of the lights are out, and all the curtains are drawn. 

Two warm bodies share a bed and blanket. No words haven’t been spoken since the younger man returned home. That was three hours ago. 

The older man didn’t mind. He knew exactly what happened. He’s been holding the younger one tight, scared to let him go. He fears that if he does, the younger man will break. He can’t have that. 

The older one strokes the gray hair gently, carefully taking out any tangles. Their breathing is light to not disturb the peace. The younger moves closer (if possible) to nuzzle more into the elder’s chest. It’s so warm and comforting. 

Kaveh is so warm and comforting. 

It’s what Alhaitham knows best. He knows Kaveh’s warmth and security and comfort. He knows it’ll always be there for him. Like now. He really needed Kaveh after the events of his day. 

He feels safe. 

Alhaitham never thought he’d feel that way from someone like Kaveh. Or anyone, in general. He’s very independent, and rather be by himself anyway. He’s able to protect himself if need be. Alhaitham didn’t need anyone.

Until he met Kaveh. 

Truthfully, they hated each other at first. They were both in the debate club, and their values often clashed. They never agreed on anything. But it eventually got better, and somewhere along the way Alhaitham learned to depend on him. Granted, it took a few years, but he learned. 

Kaveh has been there. 

He was always there. 

A constant in Alhaitham’s life. 

Until they had a fight. 

It was their worst one yet, and they didn’t talk for months. 

But somehow, Kaveh was still there. 

Alhaitham had gotten sick and in his delirious state, he naturally called Kaveh for help. Of course the blond came running. He wanted to help Alhaitham and nurse him back to health. He also missed the younger. 

Once Alhaitham got better, they apologized and talked things out. It was great. 

Kaveh will always be there for Alhaitham. 

Years go by and they have another big argument. It was way worse than the last one. They didn’t talk for about eight months. During that time, they both graduated college, and were given a house by the directors. Kaveh politely declined, and Alhaitham held his tongue. Kaveh wouldn’t listen to him anyway. 

It would have been nine months had Kaveh not knocked on Alhaitham’s door of what could’ve been their house. It was raining hard that day, and Kaveh spent the last of his money to get a decent coat to protect him. He still got soaked through to the bone. 

Alhaitham didn’t say anything when he opened his door that night. He simply tugged Kaveh in, and housed him. Kaveh has been there ever since. 

He cooked, he cleaned, he paid his bills (kind of), and helped Alhaitham with anything around the house. He helped Alhaitham patch up wounds he suffered from eremites in the desert. He celebrated when Alhaitham got promoted to Acting Grand Sage, though it was temporary. 

Kaveh has been there. 

Now, he’s here for Alhaitham because his grandmother died. Alhaitham and his grandmother were close, considering she raised him. So, it hurts. Alhaitham is hurting and Kaveh is here for him. 

Like always. 

__________________________

Another week goes by. 

Their fake relationship becomes something in the background now. Well, the label anyway. They act like they normally do, but sometimes there’s a kiss or hand holding. Or sometimes Alhaitham would place his arm around Kaveh’s slim waist to hold him close. Whenever they go out, Kaveh always sits close to him, practically on his lap. 

Behind closed doors, that label really, truly disappears. 

They still argue like a married couple, but it’s intimate. They touch each other more often, and kiss more often, too. They never question it. Either it’s because they don’t want to, or are scared to. Scared that if they address what’s actually happening, it’ll stop. 

Neither of them want to stop. 

Especially Alhaitham. 

Truth be told, he’s forgotten all about why he started this. Kaveh has all of his attention, and the blond occupies his mind more than he’d like to admit. He finds that he doesn’t mind it so much. He likes it. 

He likes Kaveh. 

Alhaitham stops mid sentence in the book he is currently reading. 

He what?

He likes Kaveh? 

That… actually makes sense. He recognizes the weird fluttering feeling in his stomach whenever Kaveh touches him. He thinks about him all the damn time, and every little thing is starting to remind him of the blonde. 

It’s the same way he felt about Cyno, but these emotions are stronger, more potent. His realization isn’t that big of a deal, though. There aren’t any sparks or fireworks from the revelation. When he realized he liked Cyno, it was a surprise. He did feel a bit uneasy, but not this time. 

He feels comfortable. 

Alhaitham likes being comfortable. 

He needs to tell Kaveh immediately. 

Alhaitham bookmarks his page and sets it down. He gets up, and walks over to Kaveh’s room, knocking on the door. The blonde invites him. 

“Kaveh.” Alhaitham says as soon as he opens the door. 

Kaveh is painting his nails on his bed, and it smells strongly of acetone. Alhaitham walks over to the window to open it a little to air out the room. He doesn’t need Kaveh to pass out. 

“Thanks, I forgot to open it before I started. Did you need anything?”

Alhaitham looks at him. This isn’t as nerve wracking as he thought it would be. His hands shake a bit, but not enough to bother him. 

“Kaveh, I like you.” 

Kaveh snorts as he carefully wipes some of the paint off his cuticle. “That’s random. I like you, too, bestie.”

Alhaitham sighs. “No, I like you. The way I liked Cyno. Well, I don’t like him anymore. You occupy my mind for days on end, and I feel… strongly whenever I’m with you. I feel it right now, actually.” 

Alhaitham holds out his shaking hand and Kaveh stares at him wide eyed. 

Is Alhaitham… confessing?

“Wait, wait, wait! What the fuck, Haitham!”

“Oh. Do you not feel the same way? Have I made you uncomfortable? I apologize, that wasn’t my intention.”

Kaveh gets off his bed and faces him. “No, it’s just— How can you just say it? How can you just say what you’re feeling without feeling anxious or nervous? I can’t—“ 

“You can. It’s not that difficult for me. It’s better to tell you rather than let it sit and occupy my mind. I have other things to think about as well, so I’m getting this done first.”

Kaveh groans in irritation. This is not how he expected a confession to go. Then again, nothing goes the way he wants when it comes to Alhaitham. It never has. 

Strangely, Kaveh wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s something he got used to over the years, and often expects it. He finds comfort in it, honestly. 

“Well… In that case, I like you, too—“

“Please, don’t force yourself.”

“Shut up! Let me speak!” Kaveh shouts and takes a deep breath. “I’m not forcing myself. I… had a recent revelation that I… am in love with you. Always have been. I never thought you’d love me back, let alone like me. I was prepared to be rejected.”

Alhaitham thinks about his words, and they sadden him a bit. They’ve been friends for a decade and Kaveh is telling him that he’s loved Alhaitham this whole time? 

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?” Alhaitham chooses to ask. 

Kaveh scoffs at him. “What the fuck would that do? You don’t do feelings. You’re all logic and facts and reason. You don’t care about anyone or their opinion. Actually, it pisses me off that you suddenly liked Cyno! You’ve known him for only a few months, yet you were able to— It hurts, Haitham! It’s not your fault, but it hurts!” 

Kaveh is crying now and Alhaitham is watching him with sadness. Not pity, never that. It would only make things worse. Alhaitham has the urge to hold him, but he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to. 

“I’ve been here longer! I know you like the back of my hand! I’ve always been there for you, yet you went and fell for him ! I don’t get it! Maybe I’ve always felt like this, and just didn’t realize it. I used to have a dumb crush on you when we first started hanging out, you know? But I had to stamp it down, get rid of it because you don’t care. That’s probably why I’m so emotional right now; I let it sit and simmer for so long. I know I sound crazy, and I’m not making sense. But I’m just hurt. I’m hurting and I’m in love.”

Kaveh has hunched in on himself, wrapping his arms around his stomach. He was looking out the window and the sunset is casting a glow over his wet face. Alhaitham really wants to touch him, wants to wipe the tears he caused, and wants to hold him. Damn.

“Kaveh… You say it’s not my fault, yet I made you cry. I’m sorry. I’m grateful for you, you know. I don’t say it, but I am. You have to know that. I guess I just never thought of you in that way. I never thought of anyone in that way. I’m focused on my studies and learning as much as possible. I don’t think about trivial matters such as love and relationships. Until I met Cyno. I wish I could tell you exactly what happened when I first slept with him, but it’s a bit blurry. He just… caught my attention, and kept it. So, I was fine with a no strings attached relationship with him, since I had no real interest in anything serious,”

Alhaitham takes a step closer to Kaveh, and is relieved when the blond doesn’t step back. 

“I can’t really explain what changed, so I hope you can forgive me for that. Then, we stopped and he officially got with Tighnari, and well, you know the rest. Kaveh, these last few weeks of pretending to be in a relationship were the best days of my life. I don’t know what the real thing entails, but I like how you do it. You’ve taught me how to… Anyway, during our time together I found myself wanting more. I always wanted to be near you, always wanted to touch you. When I got jealous that night, it didn’t feel good. I don’t want to feel that ever again.”

It’s silent after that. Deathly silent. Alhaitham stares at Kaveh as the blonde stares out the window. His tears haven’t stopped for even a moment as he listened to Alhaitham confess his love. 

Kaveh is relieved, mad, happy, you name it. He’s feeling so much right now, but there’s only one thing he wants to do at this moment. 

He turns to Alhaitham. 

“I’ve never heard you talk that much in one sitting. I don’t think I like it,” Kaveh chuckles sadly. “How about you shut up for a while, hm?”

“What—“

Kaveh’s lips are on his. 

Alhaitham’s eyes widened in surprise, stunned for a quick moment. Kaveh is kissing him, Kaveh is kissing him, Kaveh is kissing him. Alhaitham is quick to recover and kisses back, not sure what to do with his hands. They’ve kissed before, but that was all pretend. Kissing with the knowledge of their reciprocated love hits differently. 

Majorly different. 

Kaveh grabs his awkward hands and places them on his own waist. He then wraps his own arms around Alhaitham’s neck. He pulls away not long after. 

“Haitham… So many emotions and thoughts are swirling in my head right now, but I just want to kiss you. It’s easier than dealing with the mess in my head.”

Alhaitham licks his lips. “I feel the same way. I only want to hold you closer,” To demonstrate, Alhaitham tugs him closer by his waist so they’re chest to chest, barely any space between them. “I don’t want to let you go, Kaveh. Not now, not ever.”

“Then don’t. Please, don’t.” Kaveh nearly begs him, and they’re kissing again. 

The two have a lot to talk about, but it doesn’t matter at this moment. They’re in each other’s arms just as they wished. They love each other, and only each other. No more Cyno, no more fake dating. It’s real, it’s real, it's real. Alhaitham could fucking cry, but he won’t. Instead, he’ll hug Kaveh, his best friend, his lover, closer than he ever has.