Archive of Our Own ^beta

Ice was looking around the bar and considered just leaving. There was nobody here catching his eye and if he was completely honest with himself he hadn't expected that to be the case anyway. As much as he hated to admit it, the times when picking up some random stranger at a civilian bar was enough for him seemed to be over. And there was one man to blame for it.

Ice sighed. He didn't actually blame Maverick for it. He mostly blamed himself for being stupid enough to fall for him in the first place. He wasn't even sure when it had happened. The first few months of them teaching together at Top Gun had been great. He loved what he was doing and he had come to realize that Mav was good at teaching others, something he'd never thought possible. They'd been friendly, going to the Hard Deck together sometimes, talking, joking, normal stuff.

And then one day Ice caught himself staring at Mav while he was shooting pool. He was thinking about how much he'd like to bend Mav over the pool table and for a moment the entire world seemed to screech to a halt. It had taken every bit of self-control he had to try and behave normally. Until this day he wasn't sure he'd completely managed that. He'd told himself that he was drunk and maybe a bit horny and it was just a one-time thing, just some weird crossing of wires, completely meaningless.

He'd shook it off and went back to playing pool with Maverick, making stupid jokes and not staring at him at all. However, as time went by he couldn't help but notice that these random thoughts of pushing Mav up against a wall or just grabbing him and pulling him in for a kiss kept happening. He got better at ignoring them, but he couldn't make them stop.

He started going to civilian bars again. Nothing new, he told himself, he'd done that before. And if the men he now picked up were usually dark-haired and often shorter than him, then that was nothing to worry about. It was okay. For a while.

But nights like this, where he just felt it wasn't enough anymore and that something had to change, became more and more frequent.

He finished his drink and made his way to the door.

While walking to his car he passed a small alley and heard groans. Well, someone got lucky at least, he thought. But then he heard something that sounded more like somebody attempting to scream. It was a strange muffled sound. Ice stopped and frowned. This didn't seem like somebody who was enjoying himself. He waited.

"Shut the fuck up." The sentence was more hissed than spoken and there seemed to be real hatred in those words.

Ice started walking. He could hear some more groans and then the sound of a body hitting the ground. It was dark, just a bit of light reached the scene Ice had walked into. He could see a man on the ground. He was on his stomach, clearly hurt but trying to get back up. Another man was standing above him with a mean grin on his face.

"I think he's got enough." Ice took another step and then stopped, looking at the guy who was about to reach down and grab the man on the ground. His head snapped up. He seemed taken aback for a moment, but his surprise quickly turned into outright hostility.

"Beat it, buddy. This is a private moment here."

"Not anymore."

The guy took a step forward and looked Ice straight in the eyes. Ice was a bit shocked when he saw him up close. It wasn't quite like looking into a mirror, but there was no denying that they shared quite a few features. They were almost the same height and had an athletic build and blond hair. The other guy just wore his a bit longer and slicked back.

"You better back off, if you know what's good for you."

"Yeah, I was about to say the same to you." Ice didn't blink. He didn't show any emotion at all even though his heart was pounding. This was bad. The guy on the ground might be seriously hurt and the other guy was clearly looking for trouble.

There was a moment of hesitation and then the other guy seemed to realize that he wouldn't be able to just push Ice around or intimidate him so easily. That seemed to take the fun out of it for him. A part of Ice was sure that this guy knew exactly how to pick his battles, so to speak.

The guy looked down at the other man, then he looked at Ice and the mean grin was back on his face.

"Well, okay then. He's all yours. You're welcome." He turned around and left.

Ice waited until he was sure he was really gone. Then he slowly breathed out and tried to gather his thoughts. He knelt down and carefully touched the man's shoulder.

"Hey, can you hear me?"

The man on the ground flinched and tried to move away.

"It's okay," Ice said and he pulled his hand away. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just here to help. Okay?"

The man on the ground stilled. He stayed like that for a moment and then he tried to sit up. Ice helped him and almost let go when he recognized him. It was Mav.

He had a cut above his left eye and there was also some blood under his nose. His gaze was unfocused, though Ice couldn't be sure if that was due to the beating or maybe just because of a few too many drinks.

Ice wasn't sure what to do. His thoughts were racing. Finding Mav here like this meant a lot of things and he couldn't really think about any of them right now. First things first, he told himself.

"Mav, hey, you okay?" He made sure that Mav was sitting in a stable position and pulled back, giving him some space.

Mav blinked and looked at Ice. Then he quickly lowered his gaze.

"What are you doing here?" The words were spoken so softly that Ice could barely hear them.

That was a loaded question, Ice thought. He was pretty sure he was doing the same thing here as Mav was. Judging from the look of the asshole guy the exact same thing even. He told himself to stop. This didn't mean anything and he shouldn't really be thinking about this stuff right now. He needed to make sure that Mav was okay.

"Thought you might need a hand."

That actually put a small smile on Mav's face, but he still didn't look at Ice.

Ice got up and held out his hand.

"Can you stand?"

Mav nodded slightly and grabbed Ice's hand. It took a bit of work, but eventually, Mav was standing upright, leaning heavily on Ice.

"I can walk on my own."

Ice fought hard not to roll his eyes. Instead, he tightened his grip on Mav's waist and didn't miss the way Mav flinched at the contact. Suddenly he was more worried than amused.

"I'm sure you can. Just humor me, okay?" He tried to make it sound light, to keep the worry out of his voice. He sighed in relief when they finally reached his car.

Mav suddenly stopped and tried to move away.

"What about my bike?"

"We can get it tomorrow."

Mav didn't look convinced.

"I'm not leaving it here."

He tried again to get Ice to let him go and Ice did just that. Only two seconds later Mav was sitting on the ground, looking up at Ice with a mixture of anger and confusion. Ice didn't say anything. He just looked at Mav. After a while, Mav looked away and sighed.

"Fine. Okay." He tried to get up again. Ice watched him for a while, then he bend down and helped. He felt like an asshole, but he also knew that the fastest way to get Mav to agree to something was to show him that the other option wasn't an option at all.

He managed to get Mav into the passenger seat. He went around the car and got behind the wheel. He looked over at Mav who looked very small and very lost. His eyes were open, but he was just staring ahead.

"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

Ice knew the answer even before Mav started shaking his head. He winced and stopped.

"No, it's nothing," he said, carefully leaning back.

Ice wasn't convinced but he nodded. He got it. He started the car.

The way back to the base was about a one-hour drive. They spent it mostly in silence. Ice would occasionally ask Mav if he was okay and Mav would answer that he was fine. Ice was relieved that Mav didn't fall asleep. He probably really looked worse than he actually was. But still, Ice's thoughts were racing. Yeah, Mav was most likely fine, but only because he had been there in time. He didn't even want to know what would have happened if he hadn't come along at that exact moment. He had a pretty good idea, though. He gripped the steering wheel harder.

"Are you okay?" Ice was pulled out of his thoughts and looked at Mav who was looking at his hands tightly gripping the wheel. Ice forced himself to relax.

"I'm fine." He noticed that Mav relaxed as soon as Ice wasn't holding the wheel so tight that his fingers looked white. He'd probably thought Ice was angry at him. He seemed to be used to people getting angry with him. The thought made Ice feel sick.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ice repeated. "Just, you know, worried about you."

"You don't have to be." The response was immediate, it almost seemed automated.

"Well, I still am." Ice put on a smile, hoping it would look sincere. "I'm the worrying kind."

Mav also smiled slightly for a moment. They didn't talk for the rest of the drive.

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When they finally arrived at Ice's place Mav had fallen asleep after all. Ice reached over and lightly shook Mav's shoulder.

"Hey, we're-" He pulled his hand back when Mav flinched violently and raised a fist, looking ready to fight.

Ice moved back and held up his hands.

"It's just me. We're here."

Mav blinked. He looked from Ice to the house and back to Ice.

"Where exactly are we?" He sounded on edge, but at least he was lowering his hand and seemed to relax a bit.

"At my place." Ice felt stupid the moment he said it. He realized what this must seem like to Mav.

Judging from the look on Mav's face he was right. There was suspicion and wariness. And also something Ice couldn't quite place, it reminded him of resignation and that was just fucked up.

"I just figured you shouldn't be alone. And this way we can go get your bike first thing in the morning." It sounded like an excuse, even to his own ears. The truth was he hadn't even thought about it, he'd just driven back to his place as if that was the normal thing to do. As if he'd picked up a stray dog and decided to keep it. In a way it was normal, he tried to tell himself. They were coworkers and almost something like friends. It was normal to take care of someone you knew, right?

Mav chewed on his lower lip and seemed to come to a conclusion.

"Yeah, sure," he said and unfastened his seat belt.

Ice sighed in relief and got out of the car. He helped Mav get out and they slowly made their way towards the front door.

"Okay, just sit down here. I'll be right back."

Ice lowered Mav onto the couch and went to the bathroom. He took some towels, wet one of them and grabbed the first aid kit. When he came back into the living room he saw Mav leaning back on the couch, his eyes closed. Ice felt a sting. For a moment he wanted to imagine this sight without the blood and the exhaustion. Just Mav relaxing at his place as if he belonged there. As if it was something that happened constantly. He forced himself to snap out of it.

"You feel dizzy or sick?"

"No, just tired."

Ice crouched down in front of Mav and looked at his face. The cut above his eye had stopped bleeding and it didn't look like it needed stitches. There was a bit of blood under his nose, but at least it wasn't broken. He took the wet towel and carefully started cleaning off the blood. Mav kept very quiet, he closed his eyes and just let Ice work.

Ice held Mav's head steady with one hand, allowing himself to enjoy the feeling of Mav's hair between his fingers. He imagined running his hands through Mav's hair in a different, more pleasant context. Not the time, he told himself. He disinfected the wound and put a small bandaid on it.

"You're hurt anywhere else?" Ice remembered the way Mav had flinched when Ice had held onto his waist. He was surprised when Mav actually nodded in response. He gestured to his left side.

Ice helped Mav get his jacket off. Then he hesitated. Mav seemed to notice but didn't say anything. Ice forced himself to snap out of it. He carefully pulled Mav's shirt up and ran his hand over the bruising that had started to show.

"Doesn't seem to be broken," he said and lowered the shirt again. He wasn't sure what to do now. All the injuries were taken care of and Mav was safe. Mission accomplished. Mav had his eyes closed again and looked like he was about to fall asleep.

"Come on, let's get you to bed."

Mav opened his eyes and sat up. He looked confused.

"I can sleep on the couch."

"Believe me, you can't." Ice tried for casual, feeling he was failing spectacularly, but he knew he was telling the truth. "Come on, you'll thank me in the morning."

Ice helped Mav along to the bedroom. Mav toed off his shoes and went to lie down on the bed. He moved as far to one side as he possibly could without falling off and Ice didn't know whether to laugh or feel offended. He opted for just ignoring it completely and went back to the bathroom. He stared into the mirror and tried to figure out if he was losing his mind. He decided to just ignore these thoughts as well. It was late and he was exhausted. He changed into some sweats and a t-shirt and went back into the bedroom. He was about to offer Mav some sleep clothes as well but noticed that he'd already fallen asleep. Or maybe he was pretending to be asleep. Either way, Ice wasn't about to do anything about it. He settled on the other side of the bed and turned off the light.

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Ice awoke with the feeling that something was off. It took him a few seconds, then he remembered the night before. He looked to his side, but the bed was empty. He checked his alarm clock, it was almost seven. Did Mav just leave? Just then he heard noises coming from the kitchen.

He found Mav standing next to the coffeemaker, looking out of the window. He turned around when Ice entered the room.

"Morning." Ice stopped, suddenly feeling like an intruder in his own home.

"Morning. I hope I didn't wake you." Mav smiled, but he still looked exhausted. It didn't help that in the harsh light of day his injuries seemed more pronounced. There was some visible bruising around the cut on his forehead and Ice was sure that Mav's side must be black and blue by now.

"No, I usually wake up around this time if I haven't set an alarm." Ice went to the kitchen table and sat down. After a moment of hesitation, Mav did the same.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good. I mean, better." Mav looked down at his hands. Ice could see that there were some scratches he hadn't noticed the night before. Of course, he thought, Mav had fought back.

"You want to tell me what happened?" The words were out before Ice could stop himself. "You don't have to, I mean-" He shrugged.

"I think you know what happened." Mav looked at Ice now. "I think you know why I was there."

"In the broadest sense," Ice said. "That guy," he started and saw Mav flinch back. "Did he- I mean, you didn't want to go with him?"

Mav looked confused for a moment, then he seemed to understand.

"No, I did. At first."

Ice waited.

"I changed my mind, though. And he didn't like that."

"He didn't like that," Ice repeated, he felt sick.

Mav shrugged.

"I was about to convince him otherwise." There was the signature smirk, but it didn't reach his eyes. Making light of a situation and joking his way out of it might usually work for him, but Ice could see that this was just an act.

"But then I came along." At that, Mav's eyes snapped up.

"Yeah." A small pause. "Thanks."

Just one word and yet Ice felt as if everything had changed just now.

"Anytime," he said, trying to sound casual. He didn't succeed, but it didn't matter. They were both playing this game and they both knew what they meant.

"The coffee should be ready now." Ice got up and got them both a cup. He put one in front of Mav and sat down again. "If you feel up to it we can get your bike after this."

Mav took a sip of coffee and nodded.

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Ice was feeling restless. It had been a week since they'd gotten Mav's bike back. Things had been normal at Top Gun, but that was exactly why he was feeling restless. Normal wasn't exactly normal anymore. Usually around this time, he'd be already on the way to the bar. He didn't feel like going there now, though. Sure, there were other bars, but that didn't feel right either.

He was about to just head to the Hard Deck and have a few beers with whoever would be there as well when he heard the doorbell.

He opened the door and was both surprised and not at all surprised when he saw Mav standing in front of him.

"Hey."

"Hey." Mav looked like was about to turn around and leave again, but then he obviously decided to do whatever he came here to do. "I hope I'm not interrupting any plans."

Ice made a choice as well.

"No, not really." He took a deep breath. "You wanna come in?"

Mav was through the door before Ice had finished his question. And before Ice could even form another thought he was pushed against the wall with Mav moving in for a rough kiss. Ice allowed himself to continue not thinking and just responded to the kiss. He ran his hands through Mav's hair and felt like he was dreaming. This couldn't actually be happening.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what brought this on?" Ice asked when they both had come up for some air.

"I just figured that we probably want the same thing." Mav grinned and kicked the door shut. "I also figured that we wasted enough time already."

He kissed Ice again and started moving towards the bedroom. He stopped when they reached the bed and looked at Ice.

"Did I get it right?" Judging by his tone and the look on his face, he was pretty sure of it.

"Yeah, you did," Ice said and pushed him onto the bed.