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Kokomi didn’t like people touching her.
That wasn’t to say she wasn’t allowed to be touched. She sometimes allowed it when it was necessary. Like hugs, outfits, adjusting her hair. But she always mentally prepared herself for it. Prepared for the way someone’s fingers would brush against her bare skin.
That’s why she hated going to markets, and would not go to a festival willingly, unless her duty
But her lover was oh-so-eager to go shopping. It wasn’t often Kaveh had so much money and time on his hands. After all, she had just gotten paid for a small architectural design, and he was over the moon.
Kokomi remembered how jittery he was when she saw him come home that day while she stayed in his home, shared with Al-Haitham, who, ironically, had some business in the desert.
“Komi!” He burst through the door, whole body almost trembling in excitement at having so much money at his disposal.
“Hello Kav.” She greeted with a soft smile at her lover being so happy. It really did bring her so much joy. “Did something happen today?”
“Did it ever!” He proclaims excitedly, flopping down next to the divine priestess, who sat her book down to at least try to convey she was listening.
“What happened?” She asked, turning her body. He seemed so eager to tell her love about why she was so happy.
“I just got paid! So that means we can go to the markets tomorrow!” He threw his head back and laughed at the thought. “I know, I know. I won’t spend it all, I promise.”
“I wasn’t thinking that. But please remember..” She smiled, leaning a little closer. “Are you planning something?”
“Well..we could try going to the markets.” The architect suggested with a smile. He loved the markets and looking at all yhe potential decorations she could have in her house. “At least Al-Haitham won’t tell me off for buying certain things.”
“I won’t. Just remember there is rent..” She reminded him and she nodded excitedly in response.
Kokomi didn’t tell her about how the markets would probably be hell on earth for her due to the amount of people that could graze her and touch her. Not to mention the noise…but just like every other time back home, she would have to deal with it.
“You’ll be okay, won’t you?” Kaveh asked, hands slowly sliding to hers. The divine priestess nodded slowly, tracing her hands over Kaveh’s soft skin. She knew Kaveh would be concerned for Kokomi, but dhe had to tell him it’d be okay. After all, unmasking was not something she wanted to do right now.
“I’ll be alright, Kaveh. I can handle myself.” Kokomi reassured her once again, hoping and praying her words were true.
“If you say so.” Kaveh chuckles, kissing her cheek tenderly. “Should we get some rest?”
She nodded slowly, smiling at her beloved architect. She would cross that bridge when it came.
And here she was now, at the entrance to the Zubayr Theatre. Oh, it was so much worse than she could have thought. It was busy. Very busy. People chattered about all sorts of things, and Kokomi could hear it all somehow. She flexed her toes, trying to concentrate on Kaveh’s voice. If it could get this bad now, then she feared for what was to come.
“Come come!” Kaveh pulled her along before she could say anything back, and as the two pushed through the crowds, it began.
The touching.
Everywhere. She could feel the shoulders of adults and teenagers, the brush of a small hand against her leg.
More touching. Her whole body somehow was being touched. And the noise was so loud. Every laugh of some drunkard, a cry of a small child, a small grunt of some old man browsing and reminiscing, she could somehow hear it all.
It was so much.
She was pulled to a small stall with vases. Kaveh was speaking excitedly, almost bouncing up and down but she could hardly hear. All she could hear was chatter chatter chatter. Not even her beloved could save her now.
get out get out out out out OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD. GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUTTA MY HEAD. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP TOUCHING ME.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
STOP BRUSHING PAST ME.
STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!
STOP TOUCHING ME STOP TOUCHI-
“Kokomi?”
She jolted up. Her eyes were blurry. She couldn’t see her beloved Kaveh at all. Then she felt wetness on her cheeks. Oh archons above, was she crying?
Without another word, still hand in her own, she tapped her back for Kokomi to climb onto. She nodded and slowly climbed on.
She had never seen Kaveh this frattic and desperate before. He was moving like an adventurer looking for treasure. He stopped just behind the stage, and Kokomi was shocked by the silence. He seemed to know the place well. It was where he lived his entire life, after all.
He set her down, and watched as she slowly hunched into a ball, small sobs pulsating through the divine priestess’ form.
Kokomi wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t sure if she was able to speak at all. The silence was looming, before finally, he spoke.
“Kokomi…are you able to talk?”
She was surprised at how soft her voice was. Kokomi tried to speak, to say something, to thank him for doing this but nothing. Instead, she shook her head.
“I’m sorry…I should’ve gone with you when it wasn’t busy.” She sighed, and Kokomi felt her heart pang with sadness at his guilt.
Her hand made a small ‘ok’ symbol and Kaveh smiled. She was so lucky to have such a supportive partner.
“We can go another day. I can carry you back, if you wish me to.”
Kokomi nods, and slowly climbs onto his back. They make their way through the crowds, and Kokomi is even more overwhelmed as they reached outside and before she could even react, they had reached home.
“Ah, home sweet home.” It was lighthearted despite the situation as Kaveh placed his lover down on the couch. Kokomi then saw him run to his room. She was just about to get up and follow before she entered the room once again, carrying a small pen and a notepad, it seemed. It was decorated with small flowers and vines across the border. It was so typically Kaveh.
“You can write here. So tell me. What happened?” She asked, leaning down. Kaveh was so caring, and she flashed a smile before beginning to write.
She told him everything. She told her about how she was sensitive to sound and touch because she was autistic, and how she usually could deal with things like this but it was so bad today. She probably would only communicate through this, and would have to stay with him until she calmed down again. Once she finished writing, she looked and nodded.
“Can I hug you?”
Another nod, before Kaveh wrapped his arm around his lover.
“If this happens again, just…tug on my arm. I’ll accommodate as best as I can. No speaking needed.” She soothed, holding her tightly to make sure she knew.
And Kokomi held him tight too. She felt so safe with him. Maybe she could unmask around him after all.
She didn’t like touching. But for Kaveh, for the light of her life, she would make an exception.