Archive of Our Own ^beta

Scott arrived for the agency's Halloween party with a mission.

It was a golden opportunity, after all, to try and strike up conversation with the handsome blonde writer from the fifth floor.

Jimmy didn’t hang around the break room.

On account that Jimmy didn’t go out for lunch more than once in a Blue Moon, preferring to pack a lunch. He took his breaks outside on the small patio the building had with a few bar-height tables. Scott had tried to instigate the classic ‘oh we happen to be having lunch at the same place, so we may as well sit together’ strategy with little success. No one else would ever sit out there during lunch because the angle of the sun made it both hot and bright, but just like how he left his window curtains wide open in his office, Jimmy seemed to enjoy being directly in the sun.

So Scott hadn’t been able to take advantage of that as an option. He was lucky enough that the two of them took the same shuttle to work and got on and off at the same stop, so he’d managed to strike up conversations there before.

As always, though, Jimmy remained incredibly hard to get talking, and Scott didn't want to just talk at him either.

And the annoying thing is I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose.

Scott considered irritably as he pushed through the door. The big meeting room on the ground floor had been decorated for the party with pumpkin lanterns and ghost-themed streamers. Plenty of his co-workers were already there, and everyone was in costume. Some had put in more effort than others, but Scott liked the environment at the agency a lot, and considering the creative types that worked the place, there were some very impressive costumes.

Scott had gone as a witch.

With a tall pointed hat decorated with glittery spiderwebs, and a low-cut purple off-shoulder long sleeve that showed off slim shoulders and collarbone, tucked into fitted black pants with a belt that sported chains and charms of the moon and stars. He’d completed the look with a cloak that had a shimmering pentagram pattern over it and full make-up. Purple eyeshadow and lipstick, glittery powder with eyeliner drawn on to look like spiderwebs.

“Wow, Scott, you look amazing!” One of his desk mates gushed as he came in. She was dressed with a pumpkin theme, orange and blacks, with orange clip-in highlights streaking her hair.

“Thank you, thank you!” He swept his cloak backward and performed a theatric bow.

The lights in the meeting room were dimmed more than usual, drinks and catering was set up and music played over speakers. The Halloween party was a yearly event at the agency, and everyone looked forward too it.

Despite there being several other parties and events hosted by the agency throughout the year, this was the most popular.

It was also the only one Jimmy ever attended.

Because literally everyone comes. He doesn’t want to be the only one who doesn’t show up, I think?

It wasn’t like Scott knew Jimmy all that well. It was frustrating. Scott was well-used to being able to get close to anyone he felt like. He was good at talking, reading people, and saying the right things at the right times. He’d fled his hometown to live in the city in large part to escape the web of broken relationships and bad memories he’d built for himself over the years. He’d sworn off romance, but that’d all gone out the window the second he’d laid eyes on Jimmy.

The man was exactly his type.

Tall, blonde, handsome, and complicated.

Scott had been trying to reel him in for years now. It was nearly five years that he’d been working at the agency, chasing around Hot Guy and writing up articles, and even still every time he had notes to hand in from various interviews or jobs, he’d trek up four flights of stairs from his desk on the second floor up to the fifth, just to give them to Jimmy.

Just for an opportunity to see the man with sunlight glimmering gold in his hair from the wide-open window, smiling politely and beckoning him to come in.

But Scott still knew nothing about him, nothing beyond the most surface level of chats they’d had waiting for the shuttle or standing in Jimmy’s office. No matter how Scott spun his questions or aimed his words, the blonde didn’t seem to reciprocate. At this point, he was getting worried he plainly wasn’t interested, which would’ve been a real heartbreaker.

Then again, Scott probably deserved that.

Even still, he wasn’t willing to throw in the towel just yet, so he was hoping the Halloween party could set him up. If he played his cards right, maybe he could pull Jimmy into conversation. With dimmed lights and costumes, drinks and food, things were different from their typical harried, journalism chaos-filled work relationship.

So Scott fiddled with his witch hat to ensure it sat just right on his blue hair, fluffy as spun sugar, and went to the table to grab a drink.

The room was filling up quickly, music thrummed, and the lights dimmed further as some orange and purple fairy lights clicked on surrounding the doors.

The agency always went all-out for Halloween. They won the decoration contest that went on in all the businesses downtown every year for a reason. From a faux skeleton doorman to spiders rigged to fall from doorways and scare people, it was always a great time.

Scott had just turned back from the table to look toward the door when Jimmy came in. He had that charming, nervous smile on his face as he tipped his cowboy hat to a couple of the other writers who’d called out hellos to him.

He was dressed as a cowboy. With an overlong faux leather vest, tight jeans, and chaps, boots, and a cream-colored shirt with a bolo tie. He even had a cartoonishly large gold sheriff badge pinned to his lapel.

Scott really shouldn’t have found it that attractive.

But he was pretty sure he’d find Jimmy attractive even if he’d shown up as a ghost with a sheet tossed over him. If that was just evidence of how down bad he was, he tried not to show it. He chatted with some of his desk mates for a while longer while Jimmy was talking to the other writers. Then at long last, the man came to grab a drink, and Scott spotted his chance.

He knew he’d get teased for it later, considering his hopeless crush on Jimmy was common knowledge amongst the handful of fellow journalists he shared a desk section with, but he didn’t care. He quickly dismissed himself and headed to the table. Picking up a packet of chocolates like he was just intending to grab one anyway, he let his gaze pan up to Jimmy.

“Howdy, Sheriff.” He greeted, tipping his witch hat.

This got the blonde's attention, light brown eyes darted down to him and then immediately swiveled back to the table of food. Jimmy reached up and held the brim of his hat as if suddenly worried something would knock it off.

“H-Howdy. You look…great costume!”

Scott decided he’d take it. “Thanks. You too.”

Jimmy shrugged. “Nah, this is low effort. But I knew I’d get in big trouble if I showed up without a costume at all.”

Scott nodded. “You sure would! You know we take Halloween seriously at this organization!” He declared it with a puff of his chest, and Jimmy chuckled. His eyes warmed fondly. “That’s certainly true.”

“Are you not a big Halloween fan?” Scott asked as they moved away from the front of the table. He wasn’t trying to follow Jimmy around, but it seemed like the man had expected him to come considering how he kept glancing back toward him.

They ended up against the wall near the speakers, watching as the buzz of the party settled over all their co-workers. The music grew louder, and Scott noticed Jimmy’s expression scrunch up.

Maybe that’s why he doesn’t come to many events? He doesn’t like the noise?

That could be it. But that was far too sensitive a topic to bring up when Scott thought they barely qualified as work acquaintances.

Even if he’d been doing his damnedest to change that, but whatever.

“I dunno, I think it’s fun. I’ve had some good costumes.” Jimmy mused.

The blue-haired man raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? What was your best?”

Jimmy made a thoughtful noise in his throat as he lowered the soda he’d grabbed.

Maybe he doesn’t drink?

Another detail for the pile.

“Probably this crazy fairy costume my cousin made me.”

Scott smiled wider.

Cousin?

This was the first time he’d ever heard Jimmy talk about his family. In all the various shuttle bus conversations and exchanged pleasantries in his office, he’d never gotten something like this.

“Oh yeah? Was this when you were a kid?”

“Uh, I think it was in high school…she was doing costuming for the theater club, they were doing ‘A Midsummer Night's Dream’ and she used me as her dress-up doll all year.” Jimmy heaved a sigh, shoulders slouching. His lips tightened with the motion, but in the bright dancing lights, it was hard to pinpoint the discomfort that had flashed on his face.

Scott made an excited noise. “Yeah? I was in theater club! Were you a member, or was it just your cousin?”

“Just her, but I helped out. I didn’t do clubs. Were you in a lot of plays?”

Scott nodded, reaching up to tip his witch hat to a jaunty angle. “I sure was! I also did makeup, which was fun. We were on a shoestring budget, though, because my high school was so small.”

“Hm, that so? You’re so…that is, your makeup does look very pretty.”

The giddiness he felt at such a simple compliment that wasn’t even necessarily directed toward his looks would’ve made a Scott of yesteryear laugh.

Seriously?

He was this happy someone had complimented his makeup on Halloween?

How pathetic. Was this the same guy they’d run himself into hearts and between the sheets with even the most gorgeous and untouchable guys in high school and university? He’d gone soft.

And maybe he had.

But he didn’t care.

He beamed at the praise. “Thank you! I worked really hard on it, gotta show up for the biggest party of the year! Then it’s back to chasing Hot Guy around tomorrow…and now there’s this new guy with the wings! People are calling him Cute Guy! What do you think of him?”

Jimmy turned his eyes up to a corner of the room, reaching up to once more adjust his cowboy hat. “He seems interesting. It’s almost nice, seeing a hybrid flying around out there. Kind of mixes up the narrative.”

Scott hummed thoughtfully. “I didn’t think of it that way. Guess you’re right…maybe I should try him next time!”

Jimmy snorted, apparently finding the idea amusing, though Scott wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was just because he’d switched gears so fast?

“Good luck catching a guy with wings.”

“You’ll never know unless you try! Wings or not, I’ll pin him down!” He declared, and for some reason, he thought Jimmy’s ears were reddening. In the dim light and the halloween themed colors being reflected around, it was hard to tell.

Then, one of their co-workers came up to them, a camera in hand.

“I’m getting pictures for the agency socials! You guys want in?”

Scott, always one for a photo, took ahold of the edge of his cloak and held it out as he struck a pose. “Sure!”

“U-Uh, ok, sure?” Jimmy awkwardly reached up to the brim of his cowboy hat, his other thumb dropping to tuck into his belt.

“One, two, three!” The camera flashed, and she briefly checked the tiny screen. “Looks good! Scott, you always kill your makeup, what the hell?”

“I take Halloween deadly serious.” He said with an exaggeratedly deadpan voice, earning a snort of amusement from Jimmy.

She then hurried away to catch others in costume for the page.

Meanwhile, Scott let go of his cloak, and their previous conversation resumed.

“Well, I’ll look forward to those notes if you bring them my way.” Jimmy mused against the edge of his retrieved soda can.

“Of course I will! I bring you all my notes.” Scott replied bluntly.

“Y-You do?” Jimmy sputtered, and Scott nodded, folding his arms. The shoulders of his cloak fluttered gently to land nearly completely around him.

“Sure do.” He slid a hand up through the folds of his cloak to hide his lips as he whispered.

“I think you’re the best writer in the building.”

Which was true. He wasn’t just going to Jimmy for the eye candy, even if that was certainly a bonus. He was an incredibly good writer. He synthesized information well, his turn-around was fast, and he was very receptive to feedback on write-ups when Scott got the rough drafts back.

And yes, he was also hot. But again, bonuses.

Scott would take bonuses.

Apparently, the compliment had flushed the blonde, as his cheeks warmed pink, and he reached up to pull down on the brim of his cowboy hat again. He turned his eyes to the opposite wall as his shoulders rose up toward his ears.

Scott noticed the smallest twinge flit over his face, and he rolled his shoulders back again with a sharp breath out. “That’s really…really nice of you. I’m glad you like my work.”

“I like you too, Jimmy. You’re easy to talk to, no offense to some of the other writers.”

Scott wanted to let it roll. Wanted to turn this conversation away from remarks on writing skills to the desire Scott had been wrangling to get closer for years now. If he could just push things a little further, maybe he could get an answer one way or another. If Jimmy was interested at all.

Instead, memories of so many other mistakes plagued him. All the times he’d lit fires with every intention of putting them out.

What if he lit one in Jimmy?

What if he couldn’t bear to put it out?

What if he let it blaze and burn till it consumed the both of them?

What if he finally broke, this time?

So he bit his tongue and swallowed his nerve. Buried the lilted pick-up lines that’d worked so many times before.

“I like you too, Scott. You’re…well, having you run into my office covered in rubble dust with singed eyebrows was certainly not on my bingo card this year.”

“Is that a compliment or an insult?!” Scott demanded sharply, and Jimmy chuckled again.

His eyes were fond, crinkling at the corners. A smile pulled up his lips, handsome features cut from a tall figure. Golden hair that caught the dim party lights and seemed to glow gently. Broad shoulders, narrow hips, and tight denim. Scott really needed to get his head back on straight.

It wasn’t happening with Jimmy standing next to him, though.

Not like he was actually trying.

Scott was delighted that they talked longer. They split up at some point, only to end up back together as the party wore on. Then they broke apart again. Things were still in pretty high spirits when he spotted Jimmy across the way talking to one of the agency execs. Scott could see eyes darting his way, and he could’ve guessed the words going back and forth behind whispered palms.

Seeing the agency heartthrob in a Sheriff’s costume that fit well in all the right places was triggering all sorts of hushed conversation. Fair enough, Scott would’ve guessed pretty much everyone in the ballpark of their age had the hots for Jimmy, and how couldn’t you?

Like he’d considered so many times over, the man was gorgeous.

His awkward charming nature and reserved, solitary style meant he was easy to get ideas about. He didn’t talk to anyone much, but was on good terms with just about everyone.

Untouchable. Unbearably close, yet just out of reach.

Finally, Jimmy seemed to bid the exec a good night and head for the door. Scott quickly ditched the half-finished drink in his hand into a nearby trash can and sped around the still full-swing party going on.

He pushed out the door a few moments after Jimmy, and saw him walking away, caught in the trickling rays of a full moon.

“Jimmy, you leaving already?” He called after him.

The man turned to look back at him, surprised, then nodded, putting a hand up to brush back the bangs to one side of his head, seeming to tug at them.

“Yeah, I’m not much for crowds. Sorry, I ought to have said goodbye.”

“No, no, I was just leaving too. Want to walk together? I think my building is just ahead of yours.”

The blonde looked at him for a moment curiously, as if he didn’t quite believe Scott claiming he was done at the party before he nodded.

“Sure. Shuttles stopped running by this time of night, so it’s a bit of a hike. You didn’t drive?”

“No, took the shuttle. I’m surprised I didn’t see you.”

“I walked from near campus,” Jimmy replied as Scott came close to him.

Some way-off fantasy of his imagined latching onto his arm. Swinging their hands together as they headed back, steps in sync.

Of course, he had no right to do that and kept a respectful distance as they started walking together.

“What were you doing on campus?”

“Seeing my cousin who’s a professor there.”

“The one who did the costumes?”

“No, her brother.”

Well, there were two new bits of information Scott had gleaned through the night. He’d take that as a win.

“That’s impressive. How old is he?”

Jimmy raised a hand and held up two fingers. “Two years older than me, so thirty.”

That makes you twenty-eight! A year younger than me, huh…?

Scott considered to himself, storing the details away. He had a feeling his nightly journal scribbles would be full of them. It was how he kept his thoughts straight and avoided letting trains of ideas run away from him. He had recollections of conversations, interviews, daily anecdotes and more, all written down in various journals and notebooks all the way up from the time he was in high school.

Mixed in there, more and more as time wore on, were thoughts of Jimmy.

But that was an embarrassing secret he intended to take to the grave.

“What does he teach?”

“Architecture.”

Scott noted how Jimmy’s replies grew shorter when the topic was on his family, and so he decided to pivot.

“I never took anything like that in college. I got my prereqs done then basically lived in the English department.”

Jimmy nodded. “So did I! I could never have done that much school, and Grian never seemed the academic type growing up. Not to me, anyway, but I guess he found his thing. My thing was writing, so I stuck with it.”

“And good that you did.” Scott agreed.

For a few minutes after that, they walked in comfortable quiet. The entire time, Scott wracked his brain, trying to figure out anything else to say. Any way to draw this closer to what he’d been seeking out for years now.

It all disappeared like water cupped in his hands.

Maybe it was some sort of joke the universe liked the play. All those times he’d laid out twists of the tongue as easily as breathing, and now it was impossibly difficult. His stomach twisted nervously, and he didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to get closer, because every route he’d tried so far had been blocked. The only option left was to clear down the middle, being blatant in his feelings and honest with his desire, but that sounded unbearable.

If he bared himself like that, and Jimmy shot him down, that really would be karma.

He almost wanted to laugh at the irony.

“Isn’t this your building?” Jimmy broke him from his thoughts, and he looked up to see they had, indeed, arrived. He tried not to show any disappointment on his face, how things had grown stilted between them yet again.

“Oh, yeah! Sorry, got lost in thought.” He let out a breath and scraped his courage together again. He wanted to keep talking, keep walking, keep trying, but that would require being honest. That would require him to admit he found Jimmy to be gorgeous, golden hair seeming to shine even in the dingy streetlamp and passing car headlights. That he was so curious about him. The small bits and pieces he’d received circled in his mind but never drained away. His heart twisted, his eyes wandered up.

Jimmy was standing in front of him, a friendly smile on his face.

Be honest.

Well, Scott had always been terrible at doing that.

So many words were dueling over his tongue. So many things he wanted to say. Admit he wanted Jimmy more than a co-worker, more than a friend. But what even were they, he wasn’t sure he could even dare to call himself one of Jimmy’s friends. He didn’t think anyone at the agency could. He was someone constantly held at arms length. He was guarded in ways that were hard to place. It had never felt like disinterest, but all the same, he heard the whisper of someone who’d fled his hometown in the wake of the worst heartbreak of his life in the back of his mind.

If he thought anything of you, he’d have said something by now.

Why even bother? You weren’t there for any of them, either.

Who would stay? Would you let them?

But hey, maybe it’d be fun, to hurt him too.

Scott swallowed, a sudden tightness was coiling up his throat. His eyes were stinging, and he seized the edge of his cloak and pressed it to them.

“Scott? You ok?” Jimmy’s voice lilted concern, and Scott forced a deep breath. Held it till his lungs burned.

“Yeah, yeah, fine! Just…make-up! I haven’t worn heavy stuff like this for a while, so it’s making my eyes water.” He laid out the excuse. Once he’d cleared his vision he looked up again. Jimmy was still standing there. He still hadn’t bid him goodbye. He held his weight so lightly, motions small and details barely visible in how he’d always tilt or move his head, shift from toe to heel, foot to foot. Shoulders rolling back, one, then the other, lips tightening, loosening.

Do you have any other plans for the rest of the night? The moon is young, and the weather is beautiful. A witch and a sheriff make for quite the pair to go for a midnight stroll. We could go anywhere you want to. Halloween always has a certain sort of magic in the air, don't you think? 

He’d have said that, five years ago.

But today? Tonight? With the moon so huge in the sky, stars distant and gleaming through the bright lights of the big city?

He was so, so far away from who he used to be. But he was terrified he hadn’t fled far enough, and he could stumble. End up back there. Vulnerability was scarier than any moonlit haunting or wayward ghosts.

Scott swept his cloak up like a shield, the pentagrams on it glittered in the moonlight.

“A particularly spooky good night to you then, Sheriff!”

Jimmy laughed again and reached up. He removed his cowboy hat, blonde hair tousled beneath, and waved it in the air in a few slow spirals.

“Then I’ll be hitting the trail before I get cursed by the witch!” He said with a bad Western accent, and Scott beamed, lowering his cloak. Blue eyes trying to capture the sight in the street lamp glow and moonlight.

Jimmy waved, replacing his hat, and turned to leave. Scott let himself into his building.

He barely made it in the door, only halfway to the stairs as he reached up and yanked down his witch hat nearly completely over his head.

That was so stupid!

Jimmy

He’s so cute.

The avian considered happily as he trotted back to his apartment. His boots clunked on the sidewalk, and he was delighted at all the time he’d gotten to spend with Scott that evening.

He really didn’t like parties. He always got this feeling eyes were on him, and it made him constantly nervous that maybe his glamor had weakened. Were his wingtips showing? Had a feather drifted loose?

He made it back to his apartment and took the elevator up. Unlocking the door, he let himself in. He immediately started stripping off his top layers. The vest with the sheriff badge was tossed onto his couch, he loosened the bolo tie and pulled it off over his head, removing his cowboy hat as he did and setting it on his coffee table, which was pushed to the far wall to leave the floor open. He quickly unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off, wincing at how the pinch of his shoulder blades sent rippling aches down his spine and through his wings. Bound tightly in belts as they always had to be when he was pretending.

“Parties…crowds…” Jimmy muttered under his breath with a tired sigh as he began going through the gymnastics required to remove the belts. It took a few minutes, and a couple more suffered pauses to wait for sparks of pain to settle before he got them all off. He immediately let his wings unfold, groaning as the pressure released from his wing roots, sore from supporting so much weight in such an awkward position all day.

At least he’d managed to spend most of the party with his back to a wall, minimizing the opportunity for anyone to bump into his back and send sparks of pain rocketing through his bound wings. Despite their massive size, they were fragile and delicate structures, and it didn’t take much pressure against his back while he had them bound for it to grow painful. But Jimmy was trying to find his silver linings.

He’d somehow ended up spending most of the evening with Scott.

That was a big bonus.

Jimmy would take bonuses.

He got his phone out from the back pocket of his jeans and left it on the couch as he headed into his bedroom. Once he’d changed from the chaps and jeans into sweatpants, he returned and grabbed the device again. He swiped through, finding the agency page already getting updated with photos.

He opened the one of him and Scott by the catering table. Scott, with blue hair and eyes like the sky, giving a wicked grin as he showed off his costume. With its low-cut top and tight, cinched pants. Jimmy felt his ears warming as the glamor faded from the tiny wings on his head, and they fluttered with abandon. He’d had to hold his hat down a few times as he and Scott were talking because the things had gone out of control from how flustered he was.

“Ugh, why is he so pretty?” Again, Jimmy lamented this to the emptiness of his apartment, feeling weary.

He dropped back to sit on the ground, crossing his legs and leaning forward, letting his massive wings spread out to either side of him on the hardwood.

Looked over the photo again, at himself in the hastily put-together Sheriff costume that Pearl had basically bullied him into because she’d been aghast that he was planning to wear the same costume that he’d worn the year before. Compared to Scott’s witch costume, it was clearly low-effort, Jimmy thought.

Scott looked gorgeous.

Jimmy felt vaguely like he wanted to cry with frustration at the whole thing. If Scott tried to get closer to him, he couldn’t bear asking him to stop, but that never happened. Besides, Scott had made it clear tonight that he just saw Jimmy as a good writer, he’d said it himself. Which was kind of him, but it only made Jimmy feel a bit ridiculous that he’d thought he’d seen the barest hint of pink blooming in the mans cheeks when he’d awkwardly tried to tell him he looked pretty.

Still, he felt a swell of happiness as he looked at the photo, and before he could think too hard, he saved it to his phone. Then he grabbed the remote from the couch and a pillow, and laid out on his stomach, stretching his back and letting his wings fan out as he turned on the TV.

As he was browsing for something to watch, he thought over the party again.

It wasn’t as though he could bear to admit his feelings for Scott, and growing closer wasn’t even an option for him. The golden feathers at his periphery made sure of that.

Even still, as they were walking back, he’d fantasized for a moment about reaching out to take Scott’s hand. Wondered what sort of reaction he’d have if he’d done so. But the fear of discovery rubbed raw in the back of his mind, and he’d pushed the idea away.

He settled on a channel, clicked to turn on the volume, and crammed the considerations away into the back of his mind.

He’d never want that…besides, me just being here is lying to him. So I’ll just have to deal…it’s karma.

He drowned out the overthinking by cranking the volume up louder.

When they saw each other again at the shuttle stop, they smiled, but neither of them said a thing.