Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jungkook always thinks his feeling for Jimin is only a mere infatuation. Something that likely gone after years pass. The problem is, he’s been liking Jimin for a quite time, ever since the predebut time. It’s hard to hide his fondness to him though, since they are bandmates, and members more likely to notice him dotting on Jimin already. It’s just that he feels Jimin is too dense, and he’s grateful for that. No, he doesn’t need reciprocation or something like that, he feels fulfilled already.

***

And someday just like this, Jimin is stroking Jungkook’s scalp while munching on bread and watching anime. Jungkook knows he shouldn’t feel like this towards his hyung, he just realized recently that his feeling is more than infatuation.

“Hyung, what are we?”

Jimin thinks, is this the time Jungkook will go all mellowing on him? And later asking him why God makes mosquitos? Why does there is universe? Why can’t we live in Mars? Jimin can’t even. Jungkook spends too much time with Taehyung. Jimin rolls his eyes.

“Homo sapiens? What else?” Jimin asks dumbly.

“No! I mean, our relationship? Friends?” Jungkook seems asking with a bit of hopefulness in his voice.

OH

“Bestfriend of course.” Jimin answers without even glancing at Jungkook, a bit tensed.

Jungkook just huffs, what else does the answer he hopes for? It’s not like they will happen anyway.

***

It’s late practice again. As usual, everyone gathers. Preferably, the members choose not to meddle with them, but sometimes, they think they both are really stupid to not realize it. However Jungkook is not as clueless as what he shows. Jungkook knows the lingering gaze Jimin throws him. The way Jimin’s gaze stays on him longer when he’s having his solo dance. The way Jimin goes to him when break time comes. The way Jimin said ‘you’re great’ while ruffling his hair in affection, but there are sweats everywhere. The way Jimin will come to him whenever he’s feeling down. Even if he hopes it means more than what Jimin feels for him, they can’t, can they?

***

Jimin never questions whatever things happened around him when he knows he shouldn’t. Jimin knows he dots Jungkook too much, can’t help it though, the youngest should be treated like that, right? Jimin thinks Jungkook is like his younger brother, so when he can’t cherished his own brother, he goes to Jungkook to baby him over more. It’s not wrong, of course, but when he unintentionally ruffled the end of Jungkook’s hair and kissed it to his ear, he receives disapproving glare from Seokjin and surprised look on Jungkook, and he knows, he might be doing it too much.

From whatever people’s perspectives, Jimin himself is sure not dense. Okay, sometimes maybe, like when Taehyung almost popped out his eyes when he saw Jimin opened his laptop and almost turn it on, Taehyung rushed to close it, and he just realized at night Taehyung was watching porn because Hoseok pointed it out to tease Taehyung. But mostly, he is not. He realizes the way Jungkook blinks in hope to him whenever he’s asking ridiculous questions. He knows what Jungkook wants to show to him, how he feels about him. He is just trying to play dumb, because he himself doesn’t know how to answer.

Jimin never said he doesn’t like Jungkook. It’s just that his liking is probably different from Jungkook. Not like like. But mostly like brotherly like. He doesn’t need to point that out though, Jungkook understands, or so he hopes Jungkook does.

***

Jungkook is a thoughtful boy, because he’s still growing up so boy that is, nowhere near Namjoon though. But sometimes, sometimes he thinks if he was saying his feeling to Jimin out loud – because Jimin might have given him the same twinkling gaze –  and Jimin reciprocated as loud as him, he wonders what will happen, the company, the media, the fans, the family, and the members.

Jungkook may be doesn’t look like someone who thinks so deep about what will happen after something occured. But he thinks, he thinks if they somewhat together and coming out, and society wouldn’t approve, they will crushing everyone’s dream to go up in this industry, they will crush their family’s expectation, they will jot the company down, they will hurt the fans, and he will crush Jimin’s dream. Jungkook, of course, knows without being told, will bury his feeling in the depth of his heart, no one should know, then no one will be hurt.