Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Logan stood up from his chair and exclaimed, “Sir! I’m sorry but how do you expect me to work with him?!”

The teen in front of him looked at him with an annoying smile and then proceeded to raise both of his middle fingers at him. 

“Remus, please behave,” the principal said in a defeated voice, he was clearly tired of this shit. He drank from his coffee mug, which suspiciously smelled like alcohol, before resuming the one-sided conversation. "Listen, Logan, Remus here has been struggling with his grades recently, I believe a tutor might help him recover."                

"And what does that have to do with me?" Logan asked annoyed, he looked at the boy sitting next to him who didn't bother to pay attention to the conversation, he most likely didn't care.  

"As a straight-A student, it's your responsibility to help your struggling classmate, besides, I will take whether you help him or not into account if you ever decide to ask me for a letter of recommendation,” Logan decided to ignore the fact that that sounded a whole lot like a threat and kept quiet while the man spoke, “Now, if there’s nothing to discuss, you will be his tutor from now until next semester. You can start by seeing what he’s lacking after school today, is that clear? "                 

Logan let out a slight grunt and frowned. Maybe if the principal's intentions were genuine he would be more willing to participate, but he knew what his real motive was. Remus was the twin brother of Roman Reyes, who was the quarterback for the school’s football team. He was also very good at what he did, he brought in the victories and the school’s budget inflated.  Now if Remus kept walking down the path he was on, he would probably be expelled, either because of his awful grades or his violent tendencies; and if he left, so would his twin brother.    

Therefore, having Logan as Remus's tutor was less about bettering his grades and more about having someone babysitting him, not allowing him to cause more trouble, and keeping him in line at least until his brother graduated.

“Mr. Brown, did I make myself clear?” he director spoke in a slightly angrier tone. Logan nodded defeated. "Very well then, you boys may go to class now, and I expect to see a change in Remus very soon." The last part he said while looking directly at Logan, as if it was more an order than anything else. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                             They both walked to the hallway together, none of them said a word. Logan felt frustrated but decided to ignore it and kept walking to the art classroom.  He looked at the other teen, who was now working his way towards the exit. 

He sighed before asking, "Don't you have a class to attend?" Now that he was Remus's tutor, he should probably force him to attend his classes, however, he was too tired, so he just stood there as the other kept walking towards the door.

"Yeah, I think I have class with your mom right now," Remus said before opening the door and walking outside, he turned around and offered Logan a crooked smirk, "we're studying anatomy." And without saying anything else, he left, leaving Logan wondering what was going to become of him in the next couple of months.

He sat on his desk without really paying attention to the class, he already knew all about the cubist movement anyway, so they weren't saying anything that mattered.

"Logan..."

Why couldn't they ask anyone else? He was sure a lot of people would have liked to help Remus, especially the girls that, for some reason, found his rebellious and carefree attitude attractive.

"Logan...."

In the end, there was really nothing he could do, the principal had made a decision that wouldn't be changed. He had to look at the bright side, maybe he could benefit from the situation. If he played his cards right, the principal would write a good recommendation letter for him, and that could ease the process of getting into a good university.

"Logan!" someone called his name, he turned his head only to see a very frustrated boy looking directly at him. "Are you ok? You spaced out there for a bit."

"Oh, Patton, sorry I am just... Frustrated"

"Hmm…” the boy said as he looked at him curiously, “do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really..."

"Ok!" Patton answered smiling, he then proceeded to search for something in his backpack. "Here!" he said as he handed Logan two chocolate chip cookies, "When I feel sad, I eat a cookie and that makes me feel better!" He got close to Logan's ear and whispered, "Since you feel extra bad, you can have two."

Logan blushed and took the cookies, he wasn’t really a fan of sweet treats but if you had Patton as a friend, you would grow to like them, especially because he offered them with such kindness and sincerity. Moments like those reminded him why he fell in love with his best friend, his naive, cute, and kind best friend.

"Anyways... do you want to be in my team?" Patton asked him. After seeing that Logan didn't have a clue about what he was talking about, he explained that the teacher had just said they needed to form teams for a project in the different art movements.

He liked the idea of spending some alone time with Patton, so of course, he said yes. Patton smiled and said "Great! I'll tell Dee that you are joining our team!"

Logan's smile faded away instantly, he had almost, for just a moment, forgotten about Patton's boyfriend. Now, rather than a good time with Patton, he would spend the whole time being the third wheel.The bell rang, indicating the end of the class. As soon as it did, Patton ran to Janus’ desk to talk about the project. Then they all walked to their next periods, Patton held his boyfriend's hand as they went to their English class, and Logan ended up walking alone to the science classroom.

"Hey, Specs!" Roman, greeted him as he entered the lab, Virgil was sleeping on the chair next to him. "Come sit with us!"

Logan walked towards them and sat on the seat next to the window, from there he could see Remus smoking, not caring about being caught as per usual.

"I fucking hate your brother," he said to Roman, who looked at him in surprise, even Virgil raised his head to look at the boy with the glasses.

"Did Remus do something to you!?" Roman asked worried, he put a lot of effort into having his brother far from his friends, he had explicitly told him to not bother them.

“No…” he said as he kept watching the rebellious teen from afar, “but the Principal assigned me to be his tutor… so I’m in for a bad time,” Logan told them, he had planned to tell Patton first, but he didn't want to bother him with his personal problems.

"Just hit him with a shoe if he misbehaves," Virgil said as he placed his head on the table again. "Also, don't pay much attention to whatever he does, he hates being ignored."

It made sense to listen to Virgil because, even if it seemed unlikely, he used to be a really close friend of Remus. However, Logan didn't know how effective the shoe system could be.

"If he gives you problems, just tell me and I'll put him in his place!" Roman exclaimed with his usual determined attitude.

"He has experience with street fights, how exactly are you going to put him in his place?" Virgil asked with a smirk.

"Oh, you shut up 'Hot topic'" The quarterback said, rolling his eyes.

"Aww, you think I'm hot,” the emo responded as he turned his head to look at the brunette in the eyes. 

Roman blushed and failed to come up with something to respond, Logan was tired of seeing them flirt while none of them actually made a move. Everyone could see the tension between the two of them, they were the only ones that didn't notice.

"I am guessing you kids already finished with the work since you are talking." The teacher asked as he got close to their table.

Roman and Virgil looked at each other, none of them even knowing what they were supposed to do. Virgil made a plan inside his head, he looked at the window and calculated how much it would hurt if they jumped from there, finally concluding that if they fell in the bushes the impact would be minimal.

"Here it is, Mr. Sanders. We finished a few minutes ago," Logan said as he gave the teacher a paper with some writing on it. The teacher looked at the work and with his pen checked every answer as correct.

"Ok guys, just remember to keep it down so you don't disturb your classmates." The teacher said before leaving to his desk.

His two friends exhaled relieved as Logan pulled out a book to keep himself entertained while the class ended, but he couldn't really concentrate on the contents of the novel since Roman's attempt of 'keeping it down' failed miserably.

Time went on and suddenly they were sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch. Virgil and Roman sat in front of Logan, Virgil's head resting on the other's shoulder as he took a nap.

Patton arrived a few minutes later, and then came Dee, Patton have him a kiss and invited him to eat lunch with them.

Normally his boyfriend would keep his distance, but that day he actually sat down with everyone. Everyone looked at him with a serious face and then kept eating quietly.

"Don't you have anywhere else to be, Janus?" Virgil asked, looking into the boy's eyes, he had purposely used the teen's real name as he knew he didn't like it. The two of them had some history going on, and Virgil didn't trust him one bit. Janus smiled and wrapped his arm around Patton as he kept staring at Virgil, who hissed at him.

"Hey! I brought cat stickers!" Patton said nervously as he shoved them into Virgi's face in an attempt to clear the tension. "You can each have one!"

Virgil grabbed the sticker, it was a black cat with a witch hat on top of a pumpkin that had "Spooky time!" carved into it. Even if it was late may, everyone knew Halloween lasted all year long for Virgil.

"Thanks Pat," he said with a genuine smile, not before giving one last threatening look to Janus, who was too distracted looking at his cat sticker.

Everyone decided to ignore the awkwardness for Patton's sake.

While they were eating their lunch, a loud bang startled everyone. They turned their heads to see Remus, who had kicked the door open and was now heading towards them.

"What the fuck dude?!" He said as he slammed his hands on the table, "I can forgive you for going to class without telling me, I waited for you in our spot like an idiot by the way , but now you're even abandoning me on recess?!"

"Remus," Janus said as he stood up from the table, everyone was looking at them because of the scandal, he got closer to Remus trying to make him stop screaming, “calm down,”

"I won't calm down!" He yelled angrily, "what happened with 'Bros before hoes'?"

Patton smiled awkwardly and responded, "I wouldn't consider myself a hoe..."

"Jesus, can’t you be without me for a fucking day dude?"

"You know what? Fuck you!" Remus said before storming out of the cafeteria, not before kicking down a trash can. "Fuck all of you!" he yelled.

Janus looked at Patton, who nodded as if he was saying 'go with him'.

"I'm sorry, I'll text you later," Janus said, giving his boyfriend a forehead kiss before running outside.

"Welp, there he goes," Virgil said as he kept looking at reddit posts. 

"And I thought I was the dramatic one in the family!" Roman exclaimed, placing his palm on his chest as if he was in shock.

"Pretty sure you are, Princey," Virgil responded before getting punched in the arm by the quarterback.

Logan looked at Patton who was sitting right next to him, he was eating his lunch quietly, trying not to show how disappointed he was that Janus didn't eat with them. He looked down at his hands, the cookies he had been given before still uneaten.

"Patton..." Logan started saying as he slightly raised his arm. "Do you want one of my-"

The bell rang indicating the end of recess, interrupting Logan's mediocre attempt to try and comfort his friend. 'Why can't I just do something right,’ he thought to himself as he stood up from the table. 

The rest of the day went by fast, as if life was laughing in the Nerd's face, knowing he didn't want classes to end. Suddenly, there he was, standing in front of the library's main door, waiting for his tutee to arrive.

"Let the nightmare begin," He said to himself with a sigh.

—--------------------

Logan decided to wait inside after half an hour had passed and Remus was nowhere to be found.

"Predictable," he said to himself as he grabbed a book and started reading, it was Piet Mondrian's biography, a Dutch artist and art theoretician, one of the pioneers of the 20th century abstract art movement.

After reading the first four chapters he looked at the clock, he had been waiting for an entire hour. He didn't mind, after all, he had been planning to spend the afternoon in the library from the start. Patton was busy with his boyfriend, Virgil was going to sleep all afternoon, and  Roman was going to have a Smash tournament with some of his football friends, so there was nothing else for him to do.

He continued reading peacefully when suddenly someone barged in making a scandal. Logan looked towards the entrance and saw Remus being scolded by the librarian. His shoes were full of mud and his jacket was ripped. He looked around until his eyes met with Logan's, a sly smile forming in his face as he approached his tutor.

Remus walked towards the boy and sat down next to him, placing his backpack on the table and leaning back on the chair. 

"I wasn’t expecting you to show up," Logan said as he opened his book one more time, ignoring the presence of Remus.

"Janus was too busy with his bitch anyways, so I had nowhere else to be." The teen said, making Logan's face turn red with wrath. He shoved his face into the book, because he felt that if he didn't he would probably yell at the other. 

"I would like you to refrain from using those words when referring to Patton." Logan said with clear anger in his voice. "I am sure you know that he is my friend."

“Pff, whatever, it’s not like being your friend makes him less of a bitch,” he said as he rolled his eyes. 

“He is not a bitch!” Logan yelled before being shushed, after he apologized he continues talking, this time in a softer but still angry tone, “Patton, is not only a kind soul, but he would also never refer to you in such derogatory terms. Your attitude towards him is unwarranted and unacceptable.”

Remus kept quiet and stared at Logan for a moment, he observed him very carefully as if he was examining every part of his face,then he smirked and grabbed Logan’s notebook and started writing on it. 

"What are you-" Logan started asking before having the notebook shoved in his face. Three words were written, Logan's face turned even redder and he stood up from his chair staggered, his hand shaking.

"Falsehood!" Logan shouted.

Chapter Text

Remus laid on his car as he cursed Janus’ name, “pinche pendejo," he said as he took a drag of his cigarette.

"Good thing I don't know Spanish," Janus said as he leaned down on the car's door, Remus opened a can of beer he had bought. "What's up with you?" he asked as the other chugged it all in one go.

"What's up with me? what's up with you?!" He replied furiously as he threw his jacket at his friend's face, “you don't even hang out with me after school anymore, now you are also spending school time with that goody-goody bastard?"

"He is my boyfriend, Remus, of course I want to spend time with him."

Remus opened another can of beer. "Whatever," he said as he took a sip.

Janus sighed and then sat next to his friend. It was true that they had spent less time together ever since he started dating Patton. It was a big change, especially considering that for the last five years, Remus and him had become inseparable.

"Listen, I'm sorry if I haven't been around lately," the boy said, "but you have to understand, I started dating Patton recently, I'm sure he wants to spend alone time with me, and I want to as well."

Remus kept drinking, while Janus talked.

"I promise I will save some time for you later, but right now, I need some time with my boyfriend, is that ok?"

Remus nodded while pouting, he wasn't convinced that he could share his best friend with some boring moralist, but he had to deal with it, at least until Janus realized that Patton didn't deserve him.

"Ok, I need to go back to class," Janus said patting the other's back, "I'll see you later."

He left. Remus chuckled as he got into his car, he wanted to go as far as he could. "Where shall we go?" He said to himself as he drove without a clear destination.

He ended up in a small lake in the middle of nowhere, somewhere he went when he needed to think. He used to go there with his brother and sister when they were little, and when he was in middle school, he would go with his friends.

He stepped out of his car, not caring about mud getting into his shoes. He pulled out a bottle from his car and sat down to think.

"I need some time alone" Remus said, mockingly imitating his friend's voice, as if it was the first time he heard something like that. ‘Maybe things will be fine’, that's what he had thought last time.

Yeah, Patton was… nice, sickeningly nice. He believed his moral compass was to be followed to a tee, and whoever didn’t do that was “bad”. Of course, Remus fell into that category.

Of course, he didn't care, he actually liked the way Patton looked at him when he unapologetically showed his indecent behavior, that look of disgust, fear, and anger was what kept him going. But now that he was his best friend's boyfriend things were different.

A sudden buzz interrupted his thoughts, he looked at his cellphone, it was a message from Roman.

Logan just went to the library for your tutoring session, you better not keep him waiting, or I'm gonna kick your butt!

Logan; probably the most boring person he had ever met, and, since that morning, his tutor .Remus didn't bother to answer his brother's text, he was too far to even arrive on time, so why make the effort?

Hey! Answer my texts! Logan gets very angry when people aren't on time!

Angry? Well, that was something he wanted to see, he had been to school with Logan for half of a decade, but he had never seen him angry, or showing any kind of emotion really.

Maybe the afternoon wouldn't be so boring.

He got into his car and drove towards the school, stopping on the way to pick up some pizza and a milkshake. He walked into the library, his jacket getting caught in the door. He pulled it and walked to the reception. He was over an hour late, just as he wanted.

"Um, hi, is Logan Brown somewhere here?" he asked the librarian who was too distracted with his dirty shoes. After not hearing an answer he looked around until his eyes met with Logan's.

He walked towards him and sat on the chair next to him, placing his backpack on the table.

"I wasn’t expecting you to show up," Logan said as he opened his book one more time, well, that was no fun! He had come here to see some action, not to study. Well… maybe he just needed to push a few buttons.

"Janus was too busy with his bitch anyways so I had nowhere else to be." The teen said, making Logan's face turn red.

 "I would like you to refrain from using those words when referring to Patton," Logan said,  "I am sure you know that he is my friend."

Now that was more like it, just a little bit more of a push.

“Pff, whatever, it’s not like being your friend makes him less of a bitch,” he said as he rolled his eyes. 

“He is not a bitch!” Logan yelled, “Patton, is not only a kind soul, but he would also never refer to you in such derogatory terms. Your attitude towards him is unwarranted and unacceptable.”

Remus kept quiet and stared at the guy in front of him. Now that was interesting. Why get so angry over a friend, knowing Logan, he would’ve normally just ignored his comments, but there was clearly something else there. 

It suddenly became quite obvious, he didn't know how he hadn't noticed before. From the way he looked at Patton during class and how defensive he was being. He smirked and took out a notebook, writing three words on it.

"What are you-" Logan started asking before having the notebook shoved in his face. Three words were written, "You like Patton."

Logan's eyes widened as he read the words, and he felt a rush of embarrassment and frustration. He quickly closed the notebook and looked away, trying to hide his blushing face and shaking hands.

"Falsehood!" he shouted. 

—--------------------

"Welp, it's the first time I get kicked out of a library, and it wasn't even my fault," Remus said as he walked alongside Logan, who had kept quiet ever since the librarian said they had to leave.

"How did you know?" The boy asked, he looked confused, still not believing he had gotten into trouble.

Remus chuckled, throwing his arm around Logan's shoulders as they walked. "Oh come on, it wasn't that hard to figure out. It's written all over your face, Specs."

Logan tried to shrug off Remus's arm, “you better not tell anyone! Or i sweat I will not hesitate to knock your teeth in”.   

“Hey why don’t you take out the stick you have up your ass and listen to what i have to say before you get defensive four-eyes.”

Logan glared at Remus but begrudgingly allowed him to continue speaking.

"Look, I don't care if you're into Patton or not, what I care about is how we can help eachother.” 

Logan kept quiet for a while before simply stating, “continue.”

"I want my best friend back, you want that Patton guy to like you back," Remus said as he took out his keys to open his car. "Both of our problems can be fixed if we work together to split them up."

Logan stopped walking, surprised that he wasn't completely against the idea from the start. Still, it seemed too risky, especially if they got caught. Besides, Patton liked Janus.

"I don't think they want to break up,” Logan said. 

"Because they don't realize they aren't made for each other!" the other answered, "Janus deserves to be with someone cool that lets him hang out with me."

Logan thought for a moment, it was true that the couple was as good of a match as water and oil, and knowing Janus it was only a matter of time before he hurt Patton. Maybe if they broke up earlier it would hurt less.

"How are we even supposed to break them up?" Logan asked.

"Well, I still need to think about that, but I'm sure of what's going to happen, Janus will go back to spending time with me and he will realize I'm more fun than his stupid boyfriend, and Patton … well he’ll probably need a shoulder to cry on, if you know what i mean."

Logan sighed, unsure about getting involved in such a scheme. However, the thought of having a chance with Patton seemed… tempting. After giving it a little bit of thought he got into Remus’ car, ‘it’s what's best for Patton, I’m doing this so he doesn't get even more hurt later’ he told himself as he shook the other's hand, signifying the beginning of their agreement.

With a genuine smile on his face, Remus started driving to his home, they needed a place to be in after being kicked out of the library, and Logan made it clear that they couldn't go to his house.

"Why are we even here? Do you still want me to tutor you?" Logan asked as he got inside the house. It was big, as expected from a big family like his, he didn’t come over to visit Roman often, since their house was the one farthest from the school besides Virgil’s. 

"I don't need you to tutor me, we are here to plan our next move."

They walked towards Remus's room, the walls were black and it was so dirty that Logan could feel his shoes sticking to the floor.

“You can sit in the pile of trash you like the most," the owner of the room said as he opened his closet, which was surprisingly organized.

"I think I like standing up," Logan said, Remus didn't pay attention and kept on with whatever he was doing.

Remus walked outside of the room and came back a few minutes later with a paper.

"Ok so, let's brainstorm some ideas!"

"Wait a moment," Logan said, making Remus look his way, "We need to have some rules if we are going to work together."

Remus turned around and listened to him talk, he first said that he should behave when they were together. The second thing was that Remus needed to better his grades and stop skipping classes so that Logan wouldn't get in trouble with the principal. And the final rule, the one he marked as the most important, was that, no matter what they did, Patton should not get hurt, ever.

Remus smirked, finding Logan's rules amusing. "You quite like him, don’t you Romeo?"

Logan scowled, ignoring his comment, “these rules are not negotiable. If you don't agree, then I won't be a part of this."

Remus raised an eyebrow, looking at Logan for a moment before smirking again. "Fine, fine, whatever you say, Teach. Now, let's get back to breaking hearts.”

They brainstormed a few plans and after Logan erased some of Remus's ideas that broke the previously stated rules, like throwing Patton off a cliff or lighting things on fire, they ended up with a very shortlist.

"I think we should start with the easiest one," Logan said as he pointed towards the first idea 

—--------------------

“You want Remus to join our team?!” Patton asked through the phone.

“Yes, I'm sorry," Logan said, "I know it's a bit out of the blue, but  he asked me himself if he could join.”

“ I didn't even know he was in our class, ” Patton said, a hint of confusion in his voice. " But, if he wants to join, I suppose it's fine. There was a short pause, “Besides, I should probably get along with him since he’s Dee’s friend”

Logan felt a small pinch in his chest, “if you don’t want him in your team I understand, I can’t assure that he will do any of the work or that he won’t cause trouble.” 

“It’s ok Lo, the more, the merrier, right?" Patton said, “I know you wouldn’t have asked me if you thought it didn’t have a chance of working, I trust you.”

Logan didn’t say anything, just waited until the line finally disconnected after Patton's cheery farewell. He let out a sigh and sat down on the edge of the bed staring at his friends contact picture.

“Did he say yes?” Remus asked after a while 

"Yeah, he said yes," Logan replied, his voice carrying a mix of uncertainty and regret.

Remus grinned, “well, that's one step closer to our master plan," he said as he got up from his bed, “now, I’m not kicking you out but… it’s already 8pm so my brother will be back soon, we don’t want him to get suspicious.” 

“Eight?!” Logan asked, immediately lifting is wrist to check his clock, it was exactly 8:12.

Remus chuckled at Logan's surprised reaction. "Yeah, time flies when you're scheming, huh?" he remarked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Logan glanced at his watch again, then quickly gathered his things. "Shit my parents," he said, as he headed to the door.

“Do you have a curfew four-eyes?” Remus asked in a mocking tone.

Logan hesitated for a moment before responding, “No, it’s… complicated.”

Remus nodded, “want me to give you a ride? I think the nearest bus station is 3 miles away.”

“I would rather not have you know my address, thank you very much,” Logan replied as he walked down the house’s stairs, the other boy following behind. 

Remus chuckled as they descended the stairs. "Suit yourself, Specs. Just don't get lost or I’ll have to think of a new plan to solve the Janus situation."

Lost. He hadn’t thought about that. As he finally got out of the house and the door behind him closed he remembered he really had no idea how to make his way home from there. He looked to his right, then to the left, a bunch of identical looking houses lined up endlessly on both sides as far as his sight reached.

He hated the suburbs. 

With a deep breath, Logan squared his shoulders and made a tentative step forward, his resolve firm despite the uncertainty that lay ahead. He walked a few steps before turning back and knocking on the door. 

Remus opened the door, a smirk playing on his lips as he saw Logan's abashed expression.

"Forgot something?" he teased.

Logan hesitated for a moment before speaking, "Actually, could you... maybe drive me to the bus station?” 

“Hmm,” Remus pretended to be deep in thought for a while, “no,” he finally said. 

As he denied Logan's request with a playful smirk, Logan's expression shifted from mild annoyance to anger. 

“What?! Why not!?” the taller one said as he furrowed his eyebrows. 

“I’m not turning on my car just to go to the bus station, I can take you home if you want.” 

Logan sighed, feeling a mix of frustration and embarrassment at having to rely on Remus for a ride home. However, he had little choice in the matter, especially if he wanted to avoid wandering off and getting lost

“Fine,” Logan conceded, “just forget where I live as soon as you leave.”

“Pshh, as if it's important enough for me to remember,” the other said as he walked towards his car, “hop in.”

Logan sighed and got in the passenger's seat, putting on his address on the GPS. Neither of them spoke during the ride, the only sound being the metal music Remus was absolutely blasting through the speakers. He felt like a total jerk, if you had told him a week ago he would be teaming up with someone like Remus to split his best friend's first real relationship, he wouldn’t have believed you. Still, just the mental image of that lying snake with his hands all over Pat reminded him this was the best for everyone. 

Remus pulled up to Logan's house, "Thanks for the ride," he mumbled, avoiding eye contact, and closing the door before even receiving an answer.  He glanced back at the car, watching as Remus drove away with that usual grin he always wore. 

As he got inside his house he began reprimanding himself for being gone all day, there was a pile of dirty dishes, bottles on the floor, and the TV had been left on, right now playing a hero movie. He took a deep breath before beginning to clean the living room, “at least they ate and fell asleep in their room,” he told himself as he turned off the tv, he hoped that that wouldn’t affect the light bill that much. 

After finishing the dishes he went to his room and threw himself on his bed. He was exhausted.  

As he began to fall asleep he thought of Patton. If he ever found out he was doing this he would probably hate him. But if he didn’t… 

“He’ll probably need a shoulder to cry on,” he repeated what Remus had said, the words echoing on his walls as he imagined consoling a heartbroken Patton, holding him, running his fingers through his hair, comforting him… 

It was so fucking messed up, he was an awful person. 

Still he went to sleep with that image in mind.

Chapter Text

Thursday a blur for Logan. He couldn't shake off the guilt that gnawed at him, and every time he caught a glimpse of Patton's cheerful face, it only served to deepen his turmoil. Despite his attempts to act normal, he couldn't help but feel like he was betraying his friend's trust.

During lunchtime, he found himself sitting alone in his classroom, Roman and Virgil were going to go to McDonalds to grab something but he wasn’t in the mood to walk all the way there. He absentmindedly picked at the food he had packed for himself, his appetite nonexistent as he thought of the afternoon that would follow. 

Suddenly, he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Patton standing there, a concerned expression etched on his face.

"Hey, Logan. Are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with genuine worry.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, I guess," he replied, looking at the outside through the window. 

Patton sat down on the chair beside him, his eyes scanning Logan's face. "Are you sure? You seem... off today," he looked around the classroom to make sure no one else was there before continuing, “if your parents didn’t pay the water bill you know you can always crash in my house.”

Logan forced a small smile, "I appreciate it Pat, but everything's fine, really," he said, trying to sound convincing. Before Patton could say anything, the bell rang. They needed to get to their next class; art. 

When they got to their classroom they sat down, Logan next to Patton and him behind Janus. As the other two began to talk, Logan looked around the classroom, there was no sign of Remus, which might actually be good since he was doubting his decision to join forces with him. As the teacher finally closed the door and began with the lesson, Logan figured Remus just wouldn’t show up. He sighed and opened his notepad, reading the grocery list he had written last night, disassociating for a moment as he stared at the paper.  

A few minutes after explaining the dynamic, the teacher instructed them to get in their teams to start with the project, and as they started moving their desks, someone opened the classroom door. Logan glanced at Remus as he sauntered into the classroom, one hand using his phone, the other holding a milkshake.

“Remus,” Janus said as he watched his friend grab a chair and sit on it, “I heard you’re joining us on this project.” 

"Yeah, I think I've got some ideas," he said, leaning his chair backwards against the wall, a cocky grin forming on his face.

Janus rolled his eyes. "Great. What do you have?"

Remus shrugged. "You'll see, you'll see." He looked up at Logan and winked.

Logan’s heart dropped, he quickly glanced at Patton and Remus to see if they had noticed but both of them seemed to have taken it as Remus just being weird as always. 

"Well," Logan started, trying to sound casual, "I think we should start with the outline,” he noted before opening his notebook, “Since we got assigned Neo-expressionism we should obviously talk briefly about minimalism and conceptualism.” After seeing Janus and Patton nod he wrote it on a sheet of paper.

“Obviously,” Remus repeated in a sarcastic tone, Logan sighed and looked at him. 

“Because Neo-expressionism was the reaction people had at those two other currents,” Logan explained, "which you'd know If you had attended any of the previous classes." 

"Umm... I didn't know either," Patton admitted embarrassed. 

"Oh that's understandable, the teacher only mentioned it briefly," Logan told him with a kind smile. Remus did his best to not roll his eyes, questioning how no one else had realized Logan was head over heels for his best friend.  

"I don't see why we have to know all of this boring stuff," Remus complained, leaning his head over, trying to see the paper and making it hard for Logan to write, “they just put paint on a canvas.”

Logan ignored him and continued, “it’s important because it allows us to understand why they put that pain in the canvas in that specific way. We’re humans, and everything we do has a reason.”

“So… what’s your reason for being a nerd?”

“Remus, can you just shut up and let us work if you’re not gonna help?” Janus groaned, rubbing his temple.

Patton couldn’t help but slightly furrow his eyebrows, “Dee, don’t be mean.”

Remus couldn’t help but smirk, this would be easier than he imagined. 

“Yeah Dee!” he said as he grabbed his drink and finished it, “I'm just asking questions.” 

“Let’s just do the outline,” Logan said.

In the end, due to Remus’s constant interruption they ended up only finishing the outline, everything else they would have to do outside of class. Once the bell rang, all of them headed to their respective classes, Patton and Dee walking the opposite way as Logan headed to the science lab, Remus walked beside him. 

“I think our purpose in life is to pursue further knowledge,” Logan said after a while.

“What?” Remus asked. 

“You asked for my reason for being a ‘nerd,’” Logan said, making quotation marks with his fingers, “and the reason is that humans were born to be curious, to learn more.” 

“Interesting,” Remus muttered as he looked at Logan, “you know, I actually like art.”

“I couldn't tell.” 

“Yeah, well, I do, you know I was just being annoying for the plan right.”

“Aren’t you normally that annoying?” Logan asked, which made Remus laugh. 

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“Well, you can’t stop me from taking it as one,” Remus said, “I actually paint myself, though I don’t know if I would say what I make is in any “movement” or whatever.” 

“It would be very difficult for you to make anything that isn’t similar to what’s been done before… and if you did it would be classified as a new movement.”

“Really, then could I name it? Like when you have an incurable and horrendous disease no one has had before,” he asked with a smile.

“It would most likely be a variation of your last name,” Logan answered, “but since you’re alive… I suppose you could name it.”

“The dolphin-ass-gonorrea-evil movement, I like it!” 

Logan couldn’t help but let out a small laugh, “I don’t think anyone besides you would refer to a movement as that.” 

“Well, I was the target audience anyways,” Remus replied with a smirk. They walked past the exit, but he kept walking besides Logan. 

“Where are you going?” Logan asked him as the other started to head towards the stairs. 

“History class,” he said. 

Logan stopped dead in his tracks and looked at Remus, “what?”

“Can’t skip or it’ll get you in trouble right?”

Logan felt quite shocked, but his expression remained stoic, “right.”

“Then see you after class, Mr. Teacher,” he said with a wink before walking up the stairs. 

Logan stayed there for a little bit, he couldn't believe was actually going to class… for some reason he couldn’t help but let out another laugh. Maybe Remus wasn’t that ba-

“Logan!” he heard a yell, and before he could even turn around he was being hug-tackled by Roman, “what are you doing standing there all frozen?” he asked as he hugged him.

“Jesus Roman, you almost threw him into the floor,” Virgil said as he took off his earphones, he was carrying a happy meal in his hands “but yeah, are you alright? you were just,.. weirdly standing looking straight at the stairs.”

“I’m fine, my mind has just been all over the place lately,” he said as he managed to get Roman off him. 

“We brought you a happy meal since you didn’t join us for McDonalds,” Roman said as he took the happy meal from Virgil's hands, “It’s still hot because we ordered it at the end.” 

“Didn’t you have class last period?” Logan questioned as the three of them began to head to their class. 

“We took a little longer than expected,” Virgil said with a small smile. 

Logan couldn’t help but roll his eyes, he didn’t understand how none of his friends didn’t care to pay attention or attend all their classes, however they were old enough to make their own decisions and making remarks in the past had been no help so he just kept quiet. 

They got to their classroom, Logan found his seat before taking out his notebook and pens. They were going to review all the subjects from the bimester for the partial exam, which meant a boring two hour class of Logan hearing again and again stuff he already knew. 

He felt a slight vibration in his right pocket, his phone. Could his parents need anything? He took out the device and looked at his notifications, to his surprise he had a text from Remus. 

Godddddddddddddd being in class iz so boringggg 

Logan just stared at his screen for a moment. Why was he texting him ?

Please, pay attention to your class. He replied. 

canttt

ma brain will melt if i listen any longer to diz

jsut teach it to me later, that’s what tutors are for

No, that’s not what tutors are for. 

Logan placed his phone down on his table, Remus was not helping him out with this whole getting his grades up thing, but at least he was attending class. He was looking out the window when his phone vibrated again. He picked it up and saw multiple new messages from Remus.

teach

y didn’t u tell me classes were so boring

hwo do you not skip evey day?????

i need a drink already

Logan sighed and quickly replied, “Stop using your phone in class”,  before glancing out the window again. Throughout the rest of the boring review session, Logan couldn't help but steal glances at his phone, half expecting more messages from Remus. However, there were none, and Logan couldn't decide if he was relieved or disappointed.

As the class finally came to an end, Logan gathered his things, ready to head home. He said goodbye to Roman and Virgil, and walked out the classroom. 

Just as he was about to leave the building, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he saw Patton standing there, a warm smile on his face.

“Hey, wanna walk home together?” the brunette asked, grabbing onto the straps of his backpack.

Logan looked at him for a moment, “aren’t you going to hang out with Janus today?”

Patton looked at the sky as he balanced on his heels, “well, I am seeing him tonight, my moms invited him for dinner… but I don’t have anything to do till seven!” 

Logan bit the inside of his cheek and nodded. He remembered dining at Patton’s house, of course, it was something fully platonic, but still it felt like Janus was just taking his place in everything.

"Sure, let's walk home together," Logan finally replied.

Patton beamed, clearly delighted by Logan's acceptance. As they walked side by side, Patton told him about the dinner and how nervous he was because he had never dated anyone, let alone presented anyone to his moms, but he was also excited, because he was sure his moms would see how wonderful Janus was. Logan just nodded as he listened, each word feeling like a stab in the chest. 

"Ok! Enough about that, how have you been?" Patton asked.

Logan glanced over at him, his mind immediately went to Remus, and the plan and what a bad friend he was being for conspiring behind Patton’s back,  "well, nothing much has happened," he replied, his voice tinged with a hint of resignation. 

Patton nodded, “you know, you can tell me anything right? I’m your best friend.” 

Logan's heart twinged with guilt at Patton's words, he did his best to keep his expression neutral, “I’m serious, everythings fine… I’m just tired today.” 

They continued their walk in silence, Logan lost in his thoughts as they approached their neighborhood. The guilt gnawed at him, but he was too far in to back down now. 

As they reached Patton's house, Logan forced himself to smile. "Thanks for walking with me, Patton. I appreciate it."

Patton grinned, his eyes twinkling with warmth. "Anytime, Logan. Take care, alright?"

The guilt weighed heavily on Logan's shoulders as he watched Patton disappear into his house. With a heavy sigh, he trudged home, his mind swirling with conflicting emotions. He couldn't shake off the feeling that he was betraying his best friend, but at the same time, he couldn't find the courage to set things right. He was just a coward. 

As he entered his house, he was greeted by the smell of alcohol and weed. He closed his eyes, counted to ten, and then made his way towards the living room, where his parents and two guys he hadn’t seen before were sitting. 

“Logan!” his mom greeted him as she saw him, she stumbled as she made his way to him and hugged him, “come! I’m going to introduce you to our new friends!” 

“And business partners!” one of the strangers said as he placed his hand across his dad’s shoulders. 

“Business partners?” Logan asked as he was forced by his mom to sit down on the couch, it was wet, probably beer or part of the bottle of vodka that now stood empty on the floor. 

“Tell him the news, Brian honey,” his mom said as she sat on her husband's legs. 

“I am starting a new business with these men!” his dad said with a big smile, “it’s the future, we’ll start an ostrich farm in our backyard!”

“An ostrich farm?” Logan questioned, “dad, when will you have time for that? What about your job?”

“I quit!” the man said with a big grin, Logan’s heart fell to his stomach as he did his best to not start screaming then and there, “don’t look at me like that kiddo, I promise this time I’m a hundred percent sure we’re gonna be rich!” 

“That’s what you said the last five fucking times!” Logan shouted as he stood up from where he was seated, “and where will you get the fucking money to buy ostriches?! Are you listening to yourself?”

“Logan, honey, don’t get mad,” his mom said with a nervous smile, “these guys know about the business, it’s a legitimate thing!”

The same man that had spoken at the beginning talked again after taking a big hit from his joint, “trust us kid, ostriches are the future market, if we start early we’ll build an empire.” 

“And what? You’re asking them for money before you start right? As an investment?”

The man let out a nervous laugh, “well, yes but-”

“Get the fuck out of my house!” the teen yelled, a few tears now coming out. 

“Logan,” his dad said with a serious voice, “let the business to the adults, ok? Just… go to your room and study or whatever.” 

With his fists clenched Logan stepped out of the living room and into the kitchen. He was gonna throw up. He got to the sink and let it all out, but instead of vomiting, he just started sobbing. Why? Why?! Jesus just when he thought things were going bad enough. He held onto the edge of the sink and stopped himself from slamming his head against it, a thing he used to do under stress but had promised Patton he wouldn’t do again. 

Suddenly he felt someone hug him, he turned his head and saw that the stranger that hadn’t talked before was now behind him. 

“Don’t worry kiddo,” he said his smelly breath on his neck made Logan want to throw up again, “we’ll make a lot of money ok?”

“Get off me,” Logan muttered. It wasn’t the first time one of his parents friends had acted like this with him, but now he was older and could defend himself, he grabbed one of the empty bottles that laid on the counter and smacked it against the edge, successfully startling the man enough to get away from him. He pointed the broken bottle at him and walked backwards, “don’t follow me,” he said before getting out of the kitchen. 

He got to his room and locked his door, after that he pushed his bed against it and sat down on a corner. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them tightly as he tried to steady his breathing.

He stayed there frozen until the squeaking of his rats reminded him he was in his room, he was safe. He stood up and walked towards their cage and opened it, offering his hand to the two rodents, who quickly climbed up his arm. 

“Hey guys,” he greeted them, gently petting Jericho’s head as Apollo explored Logan’s shirt, “sorry for taking so long to take you out, I know you were probably stressed because of the noise.” 

As he sat with his pets he couldn't help but start crying again, Jericho cuddled on his shoulder as Apollo nibbled his hand, “I know… I don’t know why I’m crying,” Logan murmured softly to his pets, his voice barely above a whisper, “I should be used to this already.” 

He placed the rats on the playpen he had built for them and laid on his bed, which was still next to the door. He could still hear the faint sounds of his parents talking to those men, he sighed, he would prefer to be anywhere else than at his house alone. He grabbed his phone and opened his contacts, Patton would be busy preparing for dinner… Virgil and Roman were going to the movies… and besides his parents he didn’t have anyone else to call… well… except for…

Except for Remus.

He hesitated for a moment, staring at Remus's contact name on his phone. It was a bad idea, they weren’t even friends far from it, but at the moment, he didn’t have any other choices. 

Taking a deep breath, Logan tapped on Remus's contact and composed a quick message.

"Hey Remus, I know this is impetuous, but do you wanna hang out?”

He quickly deleted that and typed again. 

“I need to see you right now for a tutoring session.”

He hit send and waited anxiously for a response, unsure of what Remus's reaction would be. As he lay on his bed, Jericho and Apollo scampered around in their playpen, their tiny antics providing a brief distraction from the tumultuous events unfolding around Logan.

Minutes ticked by, and Logan's phone remained silent. Just as he started to wonder if he should jsut delete the message, a notification finally popped up on his screen.

"lol, sure thing, teach. Pick you up at your house in 30."

He sighed as he looked at the message. He stood up from his bed and looked at himself in the mirror, he was a mess. Logan took a moment to compose himself, wiping away lingering tears and straightening his clothes, then he put Apollo and Jericho in their carriers and got out from his window, he could wait thirty minutes outside. 

Chapter Text

Remus parked his car in front of Dee’s house, his tires screeching against the pavement. He hadn’t talked on the way at all, and his friend hadn’t either. 

“Listen dude… I’ll make it up to you,” Janus said as he grabbed his backpack, “but it’s really important that I go, I mean, you don’t meet your boyfriend's parents everyday. 

“More important than the plans we already had?” Remus asked, looking at the wheel. 

Janus couldn't help but let out a sigh, “don’t take it like that, and we can move movie night to the weekend.”

Remus shrugged, his expression unreadable. "Fine, whatever. Go impress your boyfriend's moms. I'll survive."

Janus hesitated, his gaze softening. "Thanks, Remus."

Remus waved him off dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. Just go."

With that, Janus walked to his house, leaving Remus alone in the car. 

Remus let out a groan before stepping on the gas and driving off. Welp, there went his plans for today, guess now he had to get shit-faced drunk. He drove to the liquor store he always went to, he didn’t have an ID but the dude knew him, and he always added a few extra bucks as a “tip” so he didn’t have any problems buying a few bottles. It probably wasn’t the best to buy that kind of stuff every time he felt something, and he had been drinking to the point of passing out more often than not, but he couldn't be bothered to really address that he had a problem, who would care? Not Janus, that’s for sure. 

Remus sat in his car pouring some tequila on his coffee cup as he listened to Insane Clown Posse, after almost half a bottle he heard his phone buzz in his pocket. He raised an eyebrow as saw Logan had sent him a message. 

" I need to see you right now for a tutoring session."

Remus stared at his phone screen, the message from Logan glaring back at him. A tutoring session? That was probably the last thing he wanted right now. He took another swig from his cup as he thought. He could just leave him on read, keep drinking, maybe nap in his car. But… he needed to be on Logan’s good side if he wanted him to keep working together, he was already going to class… might as well go to an out-of-nowhere tutoring session. 

"lol, sure thing, teach. Pick you up at your house in 30."

He replied before throwing his phone on the other seat, Logan could wait until he finished his drink. 

—---------------------------------------------------------

About 40 or so minutes later, he pulled up at Logan’s house, the bags of alcohol rattling in the backseat as he parked. Surprisingly, Logan was already waiting for him outside, carrying a small carrier. As Logan got in the passenger's seat Remus noticed his eyes were a bit puffy and red, still he didn’t comment on it and instead focused on what he had in his hands. 

“What’s up with that?” he asked, to which Logan moved up the carriers to show him the squeaking rats inside, Remus could’t help but grin widely, “no fucking way!”

“I hope it’s okay that I bring them, they’re… remodeling a part of my house and I didn’t want them to get stressed with the noise.”

Remus chuckled, as he rubbed Apollo through the holes in the cage, "it’s more than okay, wow… I can’t believe you have rats."

Logan sighed, but he couldn’t help but crack the ghost of a smile, "they're better listeners than you."

Remus laughed, a genuine sound that surprised even himself. "Ouch, Teach. I guess I'll have to step up my game."

Logan grinned, "Let's hope so."

Remus started the car and they drove off, he didn’t blast his music full volume to not startle the rats, which Logan appreciated. 

"So, what's up?" Remus asked, glancing over at Logan, “why did you “need to see me right now for a tutoring session?”” 

Logan glanced out the window, he hadn’t really thought about it much, “well…” he started, but he didn’t know what to reply. 

Remus looked at him for a moment before returning his eye to the road, “is this about me asking you to teach me whatever we saw today in history?”

It took a few moments of silence before Logan replied with a simple, “yes, that's it.” 

“I actually did kinda pay attention so I don’t need to see it again.” 

“Oh…” Logan said looking down at his phone, “well, then, I was thinking on giving you a test to see what your weakest subjects are so we can focus on them.”

Remus let out a displeased sound, “wouldn’t you prefer just playing with your rats or something? I fucking hate tests.” 

“Well, nothing is stopping me from doing that while you do the test.” 

Remus rolled his eyes, “whatever, but you aren’t allowed to leave until after I get to hang out with the rats.”

Logan nodded, “fair enough,” he tried to not make it known that he was very happy with that, after all, the last thing he wanted was being locked in his room again, and those men seemed like they wouldn’t leave any time soon. “Where are we going anyways?” 

“Well, most cafes and libraries are closed by now… plus I don’t think they’d allow the rats in,  we can just go to my house.” 

With that they returned to not talking, Remus sang along to what he was playing on the radio while Logan made sure Apollo and Jericho stayed calm through the ride. Remus parked in the garage and they headed to his room. Once they were outside the door Remus turned to Logan. 

“Give me a moment,” he said before getting in his room and closing the door. 

Logan just stayed in the hallway, standing awkwardly as he listened to the scandal happening in Remus's room. After like ten minutes the other teen finally walked out. 

“Okay, come in now,” Remus said, Logan took a step in and looked at the room. 

It seemed like he had collected all the trash and clothes that had been on the floor the last time he visited and placed them all on a chair. “So you actually have a carpet,” Logan said as he stepped in. 

“I didn’t want the rats to eat something rotten or get lost amongst my clutter.”

Logan felt himself opening his eyes in surprise for a moment before returning to his neutral expression, “thanks, that’s… very considerate of you Remus.” 

Remus was already next to the crates and opening them, “all for my new best friends,” he extended his hand and Jericho crawled up his arm, Remus petted him with his other hand, “you guys won’t leave me for any stupid boy right guys?” Jericho just nibbled at his hand. 

“Wow,” Logan said as he kneeled down and took Apollo out of his crate, “that’s interesting, Jericho is usually wary of strangers, it took like a year before he let Patton pet him.” 

Remus smirked, scratching behind Jericho's ears. "Well, it’s probably because I’m much cooler than him and he knows it, right little guy?” 

Logan ignored what he said and placed Apollo on his lap, the rat sniffled around before also crawling up Remus, “Apollo is more playful.” 

“Jericho and Apollo,” the other said as he allowed the rodents to explore him, “so, they’re sun and moon themed?”

Logan raised his eyebrows, “yes, actually…because of their fur,” he said, surprised Remus knew the meaning of their names. 

“Cool, my mom doesn’t let me have rats since I breed some in 4th grade and they ate all our pantry.”

Logan smiled, a genuine warmth spreading through him as he watched him interact with the rats. Remus had a surprisingly gentle side, a side Logan hadn't seen before. He shook his head as he reminded himself of why they were there in the first place. 

“You can keep playing with them after you’re done with the test,” Logan said as he grabbed his pets. Remus frowned, but still stood up and went to his desk to sit down. 

Logan grabbed his phone and typed a few things before talking, “I made the test like a year ago to prepare myself for college, so don’t get too worried if you don’t know something.”

“You were thinking of college a year ago? Weren't we freshmen?”

“Well, when you want to go to Stanford, you prepare yourself early,” he cleared his throat and shifted his focus back to the task at hand, “alright, let's get started," Logan said. Remus opened his computer and started doing the test. 

As he worked through the test, Logan watched him with curiosity, despite stating to not be fond of tests, he seemed surprisingly focused. It took him a little longer than the time Logan had thought it would, but at last he finished and showed Logan his screen. 

“Sixty-five?!” Logan asked as he sat up straight.

“Good right?”

“Remus?! That test was made for me to study for college, it has subjects we haven’t even seen in school! How the— How did you get sixty-five?!” he snatched the phone off Remus’ hands and stared at the results, “You got all of the math, physics and science questions right…”

“I’m just built like that,” Remus said with a smirk as he flexed his arms. 

Logan looked at him with a dumbfounded expression, “how… are you failing all of your classes?” 

“I’ve been absent most days.”

Logan stared at him wide eyed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Remus, you have so much potential. If you applied yourself, you could excel in all your classes."

The other leaned back in his chair, "Ah, but where's the fun in that? Besides, like this my parents don’t bother me with school and grades, passing is enough since they expect so little.."

"But education is important," Logan insisted, feeling a knot forming on his throat for some reason, "It's not just about passing exams, it's about expanding your knowledge and understanding the world around you."

Remus shrugged nonchalantly, "eh, anything I need to figure out I will on my own. Besides, I've got more important things to worry about right now,” he said, quickly scooting over to play with the rats. 

Logan just stared at him dumbfounded. Remus wasn’t an unsalvageable case because he didn’t understand the subjects… He was failing on purpose, he felt his face grow warm, why was he ruining his life? Just to piss off everyone? He was wasting his potential by missing all his classes, he wouldn’t necessarily need to pay attention he could just go warm up the seat and ace the tests. And he hadn’t even thought of mentioning it to him?! Weren’t they supposed to be working together? Why was Logan wasting his time here?

“I think we’re leaving Remus,” Logan said as he grabbed the carrier.

“What? You told me I could play with the rats!” he said as he sat up, guarding Jericho behind his arms. 

“Yes, but now things are different.” 

Remus furrowed his brows and examined his expression, “are you mad at me?” 

“Of course I’m mad at you!” he said, his voice higher than intended, “I was shoved into being your tutor and I was willing to do it because i was under the impression that you genuinely needed help, but you don’t need help, you could very well get straight A’s if you so decided to.”

“I mean yeah but-” 

“No buts! Do you not think of anyone but yourself? What about your parents? Or your brother!? You know if you get expelled he’s probably moving school’s too! W-what you’re doing is… as stupid as quitting your job and starting an ostrich farm.” 

They both remained silent for a moment, Remus scratched his neck, he wasn’t used to being scolded since his parents didn’t bother anymore, still something wasn’t right. 

“That was… Oddly specific,” he said standing up, “and I may be wrong but I don’t think you’re this upset over me.” 

Logan clenched his chest for a second, breathing to calm down. “You are right… I apologize, but my decision remains. How can I even help you when you don’t need help? You’re not a dog for me to train to go to class on time and deliver your homework…” 

Remus blinked, unsure of what to say. For a long moment, he just stared at Logan, watching the way his jaw clenched, the slight tremble in his hands as he held the carrier.

“Okay…” Remus said at last, voice quieter than usual. “So, what—you’re quitting me? I mean, you’re quitting our alliance? Our plan? That’s it?”

Logan looked up, and there was a deep tiredness in his eyes that Remus hadn’t noticed before. “Yes, I quit everything,” he said, “I’ve been feeling bad about ruining Patton’s relationship… so if you’re gonna do something, do it on your own, regardless, you don’t need my help”

There was silence for a moment before Remus let out a few dry chuckles.

“Oh,” Remus said, “so you’re a coward then?”

“What?” 

“I mean, I already knew that you were, you haven’t told your best friend you like him despite the fact that you’ve known eachother since you’re… five? And now that he’s with someone else you’re gonna leave the dirty work to me, huh? Keep ya’ hands clean.” 

“That’s not what’s happening, I’m trying to do the right thing.” 

“Oh, so you’re gonna tell Patton the truth? Including that you, at first, were in with this project and that that’s why you included me in the art project?”

Logan stayed quiet at that. 

“You won't tell him,” Remus stated, “because you’re a coward and you know if you do he’ll be mad at you,” he stared at the other boy, “so why don’t you drop the act, if you wanna leave me to do it by myself I don’t give a fuck, but don’t pretend you’re on a moral highground foureyes cause you’re a bad as me.” 

“Fuck you, Remus.” He grabbed his rats and walked out of the room. 

“Yeah run off teach, it’s not like hanging out with you was any fun!” 

As he heard the front door slam shut he threw himself on the bed, he grabbed some vodka from under the bed and started drinking it straight from the bottle, whatever, he didn’t care about that nerd. 

He heard someone open his bedroom door, “wasn’t that Roman’s friend?”

“Ugh, close my door Linda.” 

His little sister stared at him for a bit, “you better not throw up again cause you stink up the house,” she said before leaving and closing the door.

He kept drinking until the ceiling started to spin above him in lazy circles.The vodka burned going down, but that was kind of the point. He wanted it to burn, wanted something real. It’s not like he cared. 

He grabbed his phone and started blasting his music loud through the speaker he had stolen from the gymnasium, loud enough that everyone in the house could surely hear it. 

"Sixty-five," he mumbled to the air, letting out a bitter laugh. “Guess I really am just built different.”

For a second, he thought back to Logan, he had looked… angry? No… not really. Disappointed, that seemed more likely. It was stupid, Logan was stupid and all of this tutoring bullshit was stupid, he couldn't believe his boredom had made him play into all that shit.

There was a loud knock on the wall. Not the door, the wall, Roman’s passive-aggressive way of saying lower your damn music. Guess he got home earlier than normal. 

Remus rolled his eyes before shouting “bite me, drama queen.”

He then turned up the volume and closed his eyes, if anyone wanted to turn it down they could get in his room and do it themselves, after a while he drifted off to sleep, the very last part of the bottle dripping onto the carpet and creating a new stain to join the others. 

After being lost for almost an hour Logan had finally managed to get to the bus station and then to his neighborhood. Apollo and Jericho shifted restlessly in their carrier, and he kept a gentle hand against the mesh top to calm them.

“We’re almost there guys…” he whispered to them, it was cold and he felt a weird tightness on his chest, as he approached his house he felt it increasingly difficult to keep walking, it wasn’t logical, he knew they were already asleep, passed out, or gone, but still it was like a magnet was trying to pull him away, he didn’t wanna go back yet. 

A few minutes later he ended up in front of Patton’s front door, he didn’t knock or ring the bell, he just stood there. Coward. The word rang in his mind, how dare he come to Patton for help when he had even considered bringing the downfall of his relationship, he should leave, he knew he should but his feet felt glue to the ground, unable to move forward or go back to his house.

“Logan?” he heard someone say from the window, a few seconds later one of Patton’s moms was opening the door, she enveloped Logan in a warm and tight hug, he used to tighten up when she did that but after almost a decade of embraces one gets used to it, “Sweetie, come in—you must be freezing, why aren’t you wearing a sweater?” she murmured, brushing a stray hair from his forehead as she led him inside. 

As per usual, the house smelled like vanilla and freshly baked cookies, Logan sat down on the couch as Patton’s mom brought him a cup of tea, “two sugars right darling?”

“Yes. Thank you, Harley,” he replied softly. He felt embarrassed by her kindness—especially knowing that if she ever found out what he’d been up to, she’d probably kick him out without a second thought.

“Pat-pat was showering but I think he should be out in a few minutes.” 

Logan gripped the fabric of his jeans, “it’s alright, I don’t want to be a bother, besides I don’t even know why I’m here.” 

Harley sat down beside the boy and held his face in her chubby and soft hand, “what have we talked about Logan?”

He looked into her eyes, they had had this conversation on more than one occasion, almost every time Logan for some reason ended up wandering towards the Philip’s house, he swallowed some spit before replying, “I don’t need to have a reason to be here.”

“That’s right, because…?” 

“Because this is also my house.” 

“Good boy,” she smiled at him and finally let go of his face, “now, we have leftovers from dinner in the fridge if you’re hungry, towels if you want to shower and extra blankets if you want to stay over, what do you feel Logan?”

Logan gripped onto his arm, “I’m… tired.” 

“Then why don’t you go wait for Patton in his room? I’ll bring you both some blankets and cookies.” 

“Thank you,” he whispered, he wanted to cry, even if he didn’t have a reason, “I’ll be in Patton's room then.” 

He left quietly, walking up the stairs and through those hallways he knew so well already, filled with family pictures, accomplishments and old memories, unlike his walls which just held mold. He pushed open the door to Patton’s room, it looked the same as when they were kids, filled with plushies and drawings (the last tho, of better quality than when they were kids). 

He set the carrier down beside Patton’s bed and collapsed onto the bean bag chair in the corner, curling in on himself. His arms wrapped around his knees and he closed his eyes, he oughta have fallen asleep for a moment because he swears he didn’t even hear the creek of the door before his friend was standing in front of him. 

“Logan?” Patton’s voice was soft, his hair still damp and trickling little droplets onto the oversized cat sweater he wore as pajamas, “

.

Logan swallowed. “Hey,” he said, barely louder than a whisper.

Patton’s brows furrowed. “What are you doing here? Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“No—yes—I mean…” Logan hesitated, glancing down at the carrier. “I brought them. The rats.”

Patton blinked. “Apollo and Jericho?”

Logan nodded and crouched to gently set the carrier on the couch. Jericho was already trying to chew the latch open.

Patton came closer, but his eyes weren’t on the rats, they were on Logan. “Why are you really here?”

Patton waited.

He didn’t push, didn’t fill the silence with jokes or nervous chatter like he usually did. He just stood there, hands loosely clasped in front of him, eyes soft and patient in that way that always made Logan feel like he was being seen straight through, like those hazel eyes could see straight into his sins. 

Logan hated that.

“I just couldn’t go home.” Logan finally said, his voice sounded thin to his own ears, Patton’s expression didn’t change, as if part of him knew that was the answer to his own question, he sat next to Logan and leaned his head on his shoulder, Logan normally said no to physical affection, but not to this, never to this.

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. But you don’t have to be alone either… you can stay as long as you need to.”

Logan’s throat tightened, and he looked away quickly, staring at the floor instead. Apollo squeaked from the carrier, pawing at the mesh insistently. Logan reached out on instinct, opening it just enough for the rat to crawl into his sleeve.

“He’s restless,” Logan murmured, mostly to himself.

Patton smiled faintly, “when is he not?”

They sat there in silence for a moment, the kind that wasn’t uncomfortable but still heavy. Patton gently opened the carrier the rest of the way, letting Jericho climb out too. The rat immediately scurried up Logan’s arm and settled against his shoulder, whiskers twitching.

“You know,” Patton said quietly, “when you first got them, I thought your rats were scary.”

Logan huffed a small breath, he knew Patton was trying to stir the topic away. “I could’ve guessed that… you’re scared of cobweb.”

“Okay, rude, but true..” Patton said, smiling just a little, “I’m not scared of them anymore… I think they’re cute.”

“What? Do you want me to say you’re a brave boy now Pat?”

“Hey!” Patton playfully hit his arm, he laughed for a but. 

Logan almost smiled.

Almost.

“My dad’s got a new business idea…” Logan said, not looking away this time, Patton's smile faded, he held onto his friend's arm, knowing what those few words meant, debt, hardship, and the inevitable event of Logan having to clean it all up because his parents weren’t capable of doing anything by themselves. Patton made that expression that meant the gears in his head were spinning, after a few seconds he spoke.

“Look, we’re almost out of college, you could stay here this last few years of highschool, I’m sure my moms would be fine with it-”

“Patton, my parents need me, they don’t even cook their own meals.”

“Logan,” he said softly, “you’re their son, not the other way around. Please… you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“I’m fine,” Logan replied automatically.

Patton tilted his head. “You don’t have to be.”

Something in Logan snapped at that.

“I’m just so tired, I… I see all this things, things I want but can’t get because I’m too damn busy taking care of them, I’m tired of trying to use logic to talk to them because no fact will make them listen and-”

He took a deep breath before continuing.

“I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” he said suddenly, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. “Desision after decision…Everything feels… wrong. And I keep making choice that don’t make sense and I tell myself they’re logical but they’re not, and I—” His voice broke. He clenched his jaw hard, breathing through his nose. “I did something bad… and the worst part is I’m not even sure I want to stop because I’m doing it to get what I want.”

Patton’s eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t interrupt.

“I’m selfish and…” Logan continued, quieter now, he wasn’t talking about his parents anymore, “I just… I don’t know how to stop.”

Patton reached out slowly, giving Logan time to pull away if he wanted. When he didn’t, Patton hugged him tight.

“Hey,” he said. “Whatever it is… we’ll figure it out. Together.”

Logan’s chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself.

Together.

Logan held onto Patton with all his strength, his fingers burying in the fuzzy fabric of his sweater, he inhaled the strawberry scent from his no tear shampoo.

“You don’t hate me?” Logan asked before he could think better of it, “I just told you I’m doing something bad, I’m being selfish…” 

“Good people sometimes do bad things… you just have to stop doing whatever it is you’re doing…” Patton pulled back just enough to look at him, Logan just stared at the mole he had on the left side of his cheek, “I know you can.” 

Logan sighed and kept holding on, his face buried in his friend’s neck. “Can we go to sleep?”

“We can…”

Patton’s mom brought some extra blankets before they both got under the covers, they were still hugging, like when Patton would get scared on stormy nights, but this time it was Logan who was hiding under the other’s embrace. After a long time Logan finally whispered.

“I’ll try,” Logan whispered. It wasn’t a lie—but it wasn’t the truth either. “I’ll try to stop.” 

Patton smiled, relief blooming instantly across his face, too quick, too trusting. “That’s all I needed to hear.”

The guilt twisted deeper. Because deep down Logan knew he couldn't, he couldn't lose this, his Patton, he couldn’t give it up for Janus to take, he was his only source of comfort, the only one who tried to really understand even when it was clear no one would ever fully understand Logan. He held on tighter. 

“I’m sorry.”