Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tea Party (No Boys Allowed)

A: ah, venti has awoken

A: about time

N: you should visit him and give him his fone

N: also you should probably help with Dvalin

A: is he not still recovering?

N: no, the abyss has poisoned him to the point of turning him against Mond

A: and you only tell me that NOW?!

A: I will poison your teas

A: watch your back

N: the Traveller also is beginning his journey! <3

S: already?

A: fuck you Nicole. FUCK. YOU.

The Seven

Focalors: Has anyone else felt that wind just now? It felt too divine to be normal, Neuvillette is in a bad mood because of it.

Morax: Barbatos has awoken from his slumber. The winds like to celebrate his return to consciousness.

Shogun: Will he try to visit us?

Morax: Depending on his mood and the state of Mondstadt.

Tsaritsa: Will he even get a fone and will he give us his contact information?

Morax: I already have his fone contact.

Focalors: HOW?!

Morax: Alice has graciously prepared a fone for Barbatos in advance.

Focalors: I see...

The Fatui Harbringers and Tsarista

Tsaritsa: Barbatos has awoken, we shall begin our plans in Mondstadt.

8: Perfect~

8: I've been waiting 500 years for this

Director: Do not go over board like The Doctor.

11: oh? I've never heard of this.

Director: Do you remember the pyro user who was banned from Snezhnayan for mass murder of Fatui members?

11: what does he have to do with anything?

6: he couldn't be tried because his murdering spree was blessed by Barbatos idiot

Tsaritsa: I believe his mission was blessed due to The Doctor's experiments in Mondstadt. That was just a warning, neither our plan nor Snezhnayan would survive formally breaking the contract between us.

11: if Barbatos just woke up, how could he have blessed that pyro guy?

3: Just because his consciousness is asleep, doesn't mean he isn't aware of his people. He has never been anything close to mortal, after all. You would do well to remember that.

Tsaritsa: Please note that Alice also may be back in Mondstadt for who knows how long.

2: What?! Why?!

Tsaritsa: Morax messaged the archon chat, saying that Alice has already prepared a fone for Barbatos.

4: fuck.

Tsaritsa: fuck indeed.

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Alice has added Venti to the groupchat

Acting Grandmaster: ? Alice, why are you coming out of the wood works to add someone? Who are they?

Boomboom: HI MOM!!!!

Alice: hello my sweet child, I hope you're doing well

Alice: @everyone please welcome a dear friend of mine- the talented bard, Venti!

Venti: hello, hello! Thank you for having me here, please forgive me for any misconduct for I am new to this 'fone' thing.

Calvary with no horses: "fone thing" pft

Calvary with no horses: what are you, an old man?!

Venti: Two things: First what does "Pft" mean; and secondly, yes. Yes, I am an old man, how did you know?

Boomboom: how old are you, mister venti?

Venti: 2600+ years old

Calvary with no horses: pft (the sound a chuckle may make btw (btw= by the way)), nice joke

Calvary with no horses: I am supremely intrigued by you, are you old enough to drink? If so, why not we get to know each other over a drink? I know the perfect place~

Diluc Ragnvindr: Absolutly not. You are not showing up at Dawn Winery.

Venti: Dawn Winery? Ragnvindr? Been awhile since I've had some Dandelion Wine.

Alice has added Traveller and Paimon to the groupchat

Alice: the Traveller is someone trying to find his sister, and this is his emergency food Paimon. Enjoy getting to know each other, I'm off to deal with Dvalin and then head back to the abyss! Will read you a story tonight Klee, mom loves you <3 mwah

Paimon: Paimon is not emergency food! It was just a dumb joke

Traveller: I'm Aether, sorry for bad language still learning. Please let me know if you find my sister. Short, blonde hair. White skin, white dress, white flower in hair. Long, white boots. A white scarf and red-orange eyes.

Chapter Text

The Winds Brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Paimon: we're looking for Barbatos to see if he has any clue. He's the god of wind after all, so he should be able to find her!

Acting Grandmaster: I'm sorry to hear that, if you come to Mondstadt I will meet you and take a report so I can authorize missing person papers. Unfortunately we do not have enough man power to officially look for her, but we can keep a look out on our patrols.

Traveller: And Barbatos?

Calvary with no horses: Barbatos has not been seen in Mondstadt for around 1000 years, so we could not even begin to help you there

Traveller: I do not know the way to Mondstadt.

Gliding Champ: do you know the area you're in? I can pick you up as I'm doing my rounds!

Paimon: that would be great! We're by a statue of Barbatos near a lake and a forest!

Gliding Champ: I think I know where you're talking about. See you there, just sit tight!

Paimon: Paimon and Aether will do!

Spindrift Knight: Where do you hail from strange traveller? Aether is a strange name in Mondstadt.

Traveller: I do not remember. Me and my sister where leaving a place when we got attacked by a god-looking being who attacked us. We both got caught up in this attack that turned us to cubes. I woke up on a beach with very little memories.

Spindrift Knight: I apologize, but as a Knight of Favonious it is my duty to make sure your words are true.

Paimon: what?!?!?!??!!

Traveller: I understand. I'm a complete unknown and I don't trust anyone besides Paimon on this group chat either.

Traveller: this woman who called herself Alice just appeared next to us and gave me and Paimon both this device called a fone. Now we're suddenly on this group chat.

Paimon: Gliding Champ is here! See you later!

Grandmaster: Hello. I have just read what is going on. I will send a quarter of my platoon back to Mondstadt immediately. It seems like the winds are suddenly changing.

Grandmaster: Kaeya, Jean, and Eula, please double check this traveller's words. While I trust Alice, her perspective of danger is swked. With our nation in a fragile state, please be careful.

Acting Grandmaster: yes sir

Spindrift Knight: yes sir

Calvary with no horses: yes sir

Alice: Dvalin is no longer a threat!

Alice: he has been cured and will continue to be one of the four winds if the people will allow him to!

Deaconness Barbara: oh thank Barbatos

Venti: You're welcome

Deaconness Barabara: I know you think you're funny, but you aren't. Please do not impersonate our Archon.

Venti: alright, alright. I won't.

Alice: lol

Venti: lol?

Calvary with no horses: lol = laughing out loud

Venti: Ah, thank you Sir Kaeya

Calvary with no horses: np ( np = no problem)

Calvary with no horses: once I'm free of this work we should get a drink

Venti: only if you're paying

Calvary with no horses: how shameless. I guess I'll agree to your conditions, sigh.

Calvary with no horses: it seems like your story checks out @Traveller sorry for doubting you.

Traveller: np

Calvary with no horses: to make it up to you why don't you come drinking with Venti and I?

Diluc Ragnvindr: absolutely not. I will not allow this to happen.

Calvary with no horses: guess I'll go to Cattail's

No Alcohol or I'll bite: no. I will bite you. Knight or not.

Calvary with no horses: Diluc's it is.

Venti: yay! I love Dandelion wine, it's been so long since I've had it! And plus if cattails has cats I can't join you. I'm severely allergic to cats you see.

No Alcohol or I'll bite: I guess I'll give Diluc some cat hair if you drink too much

Venti: oh you cruel, cruel person with your unusual punishments.

Librarian: btw @Traveller, @Alice has stories of meeting Barbatos. So your best bet is her.

Traveller: thank you

Alice: I guess we can meet before I read Klee her goodnight story.

Traveller: thank you!

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Paimon: Gods are bullshit.

Deaconness Barbara: how dare you!

Paimon: it's true! Barbatos can't help because he's still too weak from everything he's been doing! He's a GOD why is weak enough to not spare some energy for this?!

Traveller: Paimon.

Huffman: you actually managed to meet Barbatos?! And you call his words bullshit? He revealed himself to you, something he never does unless the situation is so dire it requires his direct involvement. And you are ungrateful?!

Deaconness Barbara: besides Barbatos does not have to help you. He is the God of Freedom and he has the right to choose how to use His power and who to help. You two are travellers, foreign to Mondstadt and it's God.

Deaconness Barbara: Our Lord is using most of His energy keeping Mondstadt's climate nice all year round so that our harvests are fruitful and bountiful. He also uses His powers to guide any soul to the after life. He has blessed each nation as a show of peace between Mondstadt and the world. The Winds constantly watch over those of Mondstadt and try to warn them of any danger.

Deaconness Barbara: He does not force His views of freedom on us, only asking that we do not put words in His mouth. He allows us our independence and as Huffman said- only steps in when the humans cannot do anything.

Deaconness Barbara: yes His freedom can be cruel. He will not help us when other nation's Archons would. But still, that shows He truly cares for freedom. As well as His views on freedom. Freedom is not just that ability to do anything, it is the ability to face the consequences.

Paimon: Paimon can't read that fast!!

Deaconness Barbara: I apologize. But please learn more before you speak, else you'll have to face the consequences.

Traveller: huh. Cool, still doesn't help that me and Paimon are till frustrated that he can't help us.

Gliding Champ: true, I would be passed too if a God notorious for not showing Himself appears before me to tell me that He can't answer my prayers to find a lost loved one.

Venti: Ditto, I believe it is your right to be angry. I am sorry.

Paimon: ARUGGHHHHHHHHHHSN2ODICNEDOCNEKSNXWKSIFICNEIJ!!!!!!!

Venti: huh?

Calvary with no horses: that's a keyboard smash, it's generally used to show intense emotions like happiness or anger in the case.

Venti: huh.

The Seven

Morax has added Barbatos to the group chat

Barbatos: remember Lumine?

Barbatos: her brother is trying to find her.

Tsaritsa: ...

Morax: ...

Focalors: huh?

Morax: Fuck.

Haborym: The sky guys are bullshit.

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Paimon: if we just met Barbatos, doesn't that mean he appeared?

Deaconness Barbara: no. What we mean is that it's been 1000 years since Barbatos has revealed Himself to the public as a whole. We have no idea who He is or what He's doing. And no one who knows is forthcoming. Unless you and Aether wish to tell the church?

Paimon: no, we won't betray his trust

Goth Hotel: good.

Goth Hotel: Btw La Signora just arrived at the hotel

Goth Hotel: and on the topic of Barbatos, I meet the new Bard in town Venti. He has a similar build to the statue of Barbatos. The same hair style too.

Paimon: ahaha... yeah... how weird...

Diluc Ragnvindr: well neither is surprising. The hairstyle is very popular, and a lot of teens have similar body build to the statue.

Calvary with no horses: thanks for telling us Goth, we'll keep an eye out for it.

Diluc Ragnvindr: you mean the knights will allow her to push you around?

Calvary with no horses: well some people have to be diplomatic, unlike others

Venti: HELP. I CAN'T TURN OFF CAPTIAL LETTERS

Calvary with no horses: LMAO you really are an old man. Where are you? I'll help you out.

Venti: THANK YOU SIR KAEYA. I'M IN FRONT OF THE GIANT STATUE AT THE CHURCH

Librarian: Don't laugh Kaeya. We were all just as bad when we first got our fones.

Traveller: where can I find jobs? I need money.

Librarian: if you meet me at the giant Barbatos statue I'll take you to the adventures guild as well as teach you anything you may have forgotten.

Traveller: thank you

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Librarian has added Razor to the group chat

Razor had changed their name to ' Wolf Boy '

Librarian: this is Razor. Razor is learning Common. I added him here to expose him to Common.

Wolf Boy: Hello name is Razor Razor is wolf Razor is 15 years old

I'm OK!: Hello! I'm Bennett! I'm also 15 years old!

Prinzessin and Familiar: Behold! For thy Prinzessin der Verurteilung has arrived! Do not fret, for I will allow you the honor of calling me Fischl. This vessel of my will has been in this world for 15 years and 4 months. I am benevolently helping the Adventure's Guild in reconnaissance. You may also encounter mein dear familiar: Oz who will speak common for me.

Prinzessin and Familiar: What mein Fraulein means is "I'm Fischl and I'm 15 years old. I work at the Adventure's Guild in reconnaissance. I have a Familiar named Oz who will translate my words into simpler ones."

Maid Knight-in-training: Hello, my name is Noelle. I am a knight-in-training at the Knights of Favonious. I am currently 16 years old.

Venti: Hello. My name is Venti. I am a Bard. I am 21 years old.

Venti: ^ that is how you properly introduce yourself in Common Razor, try it.

Librarian: Venti.

Venti: what? Don't baby him.

Wolf Boy: Hello. My name is Razor. I am a Wolf. I am 15 years old.

Venti: good job! I am very proud of you.

Wolf Boy: thank you

Calvary with no horses: Hello, I'm Kaeya a Knight of Favonious.

Diluc Ragnvindr: Diluc Ragnvindr, the owner of Dawn Industries.

Traveller: I am Aether.

Paimon: Paimon is Paimon!

Venti: Dear Paimon, try using the template I provided.

Paimon: you- you- arghhhhhhhh

Paimon: My name is Paimon.

Paimon: better?

Venti: Yes.

Goth Hotel: I am Goth, the owner of the Goth Grand Hotel.

Gliding Champ: I'm Amber! The outrider fo the Knights of Favonious!

I'm OK!: @Deaconness Barbara please help.

Deaconness Barbara: where are you? What happened? i'll be on my way!

Calvary with no horses: i'll come with you. Jean would kill me.

I'm OK!: thanks! I'm at Dragonspine stuck in between some rocks. Please hurry. I think I broke my leg :(

Albedo: I'll start searching for you now.

I'm OK!: I don't want to inconvenience you

Albedo: you'll inconvenience me more by getting more hurt or dying.

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Nun of ya buisness: found him. Dropping him off at Albedo's camp

Nun of ya buisness: @Deaconness Barbara @Albedo @Calvary with no horses @Acting Grandmaster

Deaconness Barbara: oh tyabk Barbatos. We'll be right over

Albedo: I'll head over rn to do emergency medical aid

Nun of ya buisness: no need already did it

Albedo: still. You are at my camp and I was looking for him.

Nun of ya buisness: k.

Tea Party (No Boys Allowed)

W: Why do I have to have THE Cursed Soul as my child? While he was at Dragonspine he had to dive away from an avalanche, causing him to get stuck in between some rocks hanging over a ledge. And as tried to escape safely he broke his leg! He doesn't even remember what caused him to be cursed! It was over 5 of his reincarnations ago!

N: You know that's how Teyvat is. Luckily, your vampire nun heard his cries.

W: another thing, I know the sequence of events that lead to her getting cursed but I still have no clue how that happened. The seal shouldn't have broke, not even for a moment! I had to waste valuable energy resealing it. Thank you Alice for doing another seal on top of mine BTW. That plus with the whole being trapped in slumber part, I am severally weak. In fact, I am currently the weakest amongst the seven!

A: you're welcome!

R: your rants are as amusing as always.

W: Fuck you. Eat shit and die Gold.

R: lmao

W: What does that mean?

R: LMAO

A: lmao

N: lmao

S: lmao

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Venti: What does "lmao" mean?

Calvary with no horses: lmao = laughing my ass off

Venti: Thanks.

Calvary with no horses: np (np = no problem)

Tea Party (No Boys Allowed)

W: It is not funny. Fuck you all.

A: HAHHHAHAHAAHAA

A: CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ASKED THE MOND GROUP CHAT!

R: He did? Loser.

N: lol

N: lame

W: Again, fuck you. Bye.

S: talk to you soon grandpa!

Chapter Text

Communication with Forest Ranger Tighnari established

General Mahamatra Cyno

The Sages are in quite the fuss right now.

Forest Ranger Tighnari

oh? Why is that?

General Mahamatra Cyno

That's the problem. I don't know.

Forest Ranger Tighnari

Don't worry about it. They're probably just pissy about a research project not working out for them.

General Mahamatra Cyno

But all the projects I know about are going well.

Forest Ranger Tighnari

You think they trust you that much? If you're so worried about it, ask the scribe.

General Mahamatra Cyno

They trust him less than me.

Forest Ranger Tighnari

Oh well then. I'm busy with Collei, bye.

General Mahamatra Cyno

Cy-ou later Tighnari

 Forest Ranger Tighnari cut off communication. Would you like to reconnect?

yes                   no

Scribe Alhaitham would like to communicate with you. Will you accept?

yes                      no

Communication with Scribe Alhaitham established.

Architect Kaveh

What is it now Alhaitham?

Scribe Alhaitham

I heard something very interesting today.

Architect Kaveh

Do I want to know?

Scribe Alhaitham

The Sages are whispering that Barbatos has descended.

Architect Kaveh

Oh?

Scribe Alhaitham

Apparently, he visited Lesser Lord Kusanali.

Architect Kaveh

Isn't she in meditation. Unable to be disturbed?

Scribe Alhaitham

Didn't matter to Barbatos.

They're asking me for ways to stop the wind from entering places.

Barbatos seems to be able to enter any place that has wind.

Architect Kaveh

Ha! That's a good one.

Being able to stop the wind from entering.

They seem to have loss any brain they had left.

Do they wish to suffocate?

Scribe Alhaitham

My thoughts exactly

The Seven

Barbatos: it is always sad to see a caged bird feel that they deserve to be trapped.

Barbatos: I have planted the seeds off freedom there, it is now up to the bird to spread their wings and take it.

Morax: oh?

Barbatos: ehe!

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Paimon: Amber your gliding test was so annoying!

Gliding Champ: yes, yes. Aether already told me that multiple times. And why are you mad when you didn't even do it?!

Venti: she couldn't stand how long it took for Aether to finish so she could eat him out of pocket.

Venti: get "burned" paimon. Lol

Paimon: what?

Venti: did I do it right Kaeya?

Aether: what?

I'm OK!: I'm cringing so hard I feel off my chair!

Prinzessin and Familiar: This Prinzessin must agree with Bennett, for thou words have caused me untold suffering I have not had since my days of youth!

Calvary with no horses: you're doing great Venti!

Prinzessin and Familiar: What mein Fraulein means is that she is reminded of when her parents tried to relate to her in her youth.

Calvary with no horses: but you don't need the quotations for the word burn!

Diluc Ragnvindr: I can't believe that the BARD who is in his youth knows little to no texting slang

Diluc Ragnvindr: especially when he's apparently good friends with Alice

Diluc Ragnvindr: who are you @Venti ?

Venti: why the best Bard in Mondstadt of course! Perhaps even the whole of Teyvat!

Gliding Champ: oh cmon Diluc lighten up! You don't need to be so suspicious of everyone!

Calvary with no horses: cmon = come on 

Venti: Thanks Kaeya

Calvary with no horses: np and it is sort of suspicious. But so is everyone else so who cares

Diluc Ragnvindr: this is why the knights of Favonious are so ineffective 

Il Dottore and clones

34: Barbatos made a brief appearance in Sumeru

Dottore: oh? He has time for that?

34: yes, Buer has confirmed it as well.

The Fatui Harbringers and Tsarista

2: @8 hurry up the mission. One of my clones just confirmed that Barbatos is already moving about Teyvat.

8: I am, I am! Need I remind you that I can't outright attack Mondstadt's archon in public?

8: they would pounce on it even if they don't know he's their rodent god.

11: good luck!

Chapter Text

The Fatui Harbringers and Tsarista

8: don't good luck me when you haven't even met Morax yet

11: I'm waiting for the day of ascension Signora, you know that!

3: uh-huh

8: uh huh, sure. Whatever don't come crying to me when you fail then.

3: how's your little boyfriend at he funeral parlor?

11: he's not my boyfriend!

11: and he's still trying to teach me chopsticks

6: the youngest fatui harbringer, the one who learnt the most weapons, the one who survived the abyss, can't use chopsticks everyone!

6: this is amazing!

11: fuck off

6: no, I don't think I will

Qixing

Ganyu: the approvals are all going through smoothly

Tianji: the fatui seem to be laying low

Tianquan: Continue to keep an eye on them. Ask Zhongli of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor how's the Harbringer doing.

Tianji: nothing changed on that front. He continues to fail at learning the art of chopsticks.

Yuheng: that's all he's doing?

Tianji: yes, multiple sources confirm this.

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Gliding Champ: @Traveller @Paimon would you like me to accompany you to stone gate?

Traveller: no thanks

Paimon: we want to explore

I'm OK!: @Deaconness Barbara get a cot ready! I found Venti passed out on the ground in the wild!

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Deaconness Barbara: @everyone Venti has escaped his cot! Please search for him, he still is injured.

Diluc Ragnvindr: how long has it been since he's last been checked on?

Paimon: we found him!

Deaconness Barbara: oh thank Barbatos! Where is he?

Paimon: windrise tree!

Deaconness Barbara: what? It hasn't even been 10 minutes since I last checked on him, and he was still unconscious then!

Deaconness Barbara: tell him to come back right now!

Paimon: he says this isn't something that you can heal.

Deaconness Barbara: I know, I already did a check up on him and nothing seemed wrong, but we still need him there for observation

Grandmaster: and questioning

Paimon: he says that the Tsaritsa wanted something of his

Grandmaster: that can be discussed between the knights and Venti himself 

Nun of ya Buisness: tell venti he either gets his ass back to the church or I will drag him back

Paimon: we're bringing him there rn

Librarian: good girl

The Fatui Harbringers and Tsarista

8: I got the anemo gnosis. That old rat went down without a fight

8: don't know why you guys were so worried

Tsaritsa: no fight?

8: he tried to put up a wind shield after I abused him, but nothing I couldn't break. He was pathetically weak.

Director: @Tsaritsa have you had any contact with Barbatos? Whether confirming or not if he's on our side?

Tsaritsa: I have not heard either way. This is concerning.

11: that a god who won the archon war got taken down by Signora? Yeah it is

8: or maybe he just lost a lot of power

Director: no, he should be extremely powerful currently. Many of Teyvat are screaming for freedom afterall 

Director: Be observant for any signs of trickery. He is the god who uses mischief after words fail, so be wary.

8: you're too paranoid

1: and you're too arrogant.

Tea Party (No Boys Allowed)

N: The traveller has started learning about this world

N: he is now about to head to Liyue

N: the Abyssal Princess is watching him

N: Lumine is also angry that the Winds are blowing

N: especially in a way she can't control. I hope to be able to see her face in person when she fails to control the wind. Only one has ever come close to that, and She is long dead.

S: leaving only her abominations that are the Winds itself

Chapter Text

Knights of Favonius

Grandmaster Varka: and Venti still hasn't said anything?

Acting Grandmaster Jean: nothing at all.

Captain Hertha: have we considered that he was simply lying? And that he was too embarrassed to say he was beaten by some slime or passed out drunk?

Acting Grandmaster Jean: but he didn't have any signs of a damaging battle, only some bruises and scraps

Acting Grandmaster Jean: nor did he have any signs of hangover or anything else

Acting Grandmaster Jean: he was perfectly healthy despite being passed out in the wild for who knows how long

Captain Eula: that is suspicious 

Captain Kaeya: let me try to get some information from him?

Outrider Amber: and get drunk instead of work?

Captain Kaeya: Amber, you wound me!

Captain Kaeya: I would never!

Captain Kaeya: after work is a different story though!

Grandmaster Varka: Permission granted

Outrider Amber: of course

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Blacksmith: @I'm OK! Your sword is all fixed

Calvary with no horses: @Venti want to drink tonight? My treat?

Venti: don't we do that most nights? But ok, especially if it's your treat!

Nun of ya business: I hope you have the room and wallet for one more Kaeya

Qixing

Verr Goldet: a traveller and a child sized flying person has entered the inn

Verr Goldet: the traveller seems to be called Aether and the child sized flying person is called Paimon

Verr Goldet: they bought some almond tofu and Paimon is talking about getting into contact with Xiao for a 'Venti'

Tianquan: any more updates?

Verr Goldet: they have gotten in contact with Xiao

Verr Goldet: they have booked a room for the night

Tianquan: interesting

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Nun of ya business: I knew Venti could drink, but he's already on his 12th glass

Nun of ya business: I'm on my thrid and Keaya's on his second

Gliding Champ: wow

Blacksmith: that will hit him like a ruins guard soon

Acting Grandmaster: @Diluc Ragnvindr will you cut him off?

Diluc Ragnvindr: no, Kaeya's paying

Traveller: that's petty

Traveller: what'd he do to you?

Calvary with no horses: I'm his brother, so of course he has to treat me special 

Paimon: you're brothers?!?! You and Diluc look nothing alike!

Diluc Ragnvindr: it's called adoption Paimon

Traveller: congrations

Diluc Ragnvindr: for what?

Traveller: the adoption

Diluc Ragnvindr: oh

Venti: Kaeya is extremely displeased by that response. He knocked back his drink, ordered another and knocked that one back, then ordered one more for good measure.

Traveller: oof

Venti: oof?

Calvary with no horses: idk that 1

Traveller: it has a similar use to ouch

Traveller: it's a sound one could say when hit

Traveller: it's from home

Venti: cool.

Paimon: can we get an update on the drinking?

Diluc Ragnvindr: rosaria is on her 5th, kaeya is on his 11th and venti is on his 38th.

Paimon: 38th?

Nun of ya business: still going stromg

Nun of ya business: he can beat Barbitoais

Nun of ya business: bqrbaotsos

Nun of ya business: barbatosbios

Venti: Barbatos

Calvary with no horses: Ima sppyyyy

Calvary with no horses: I habw sevrets 

Calvary with no horses: libe lije kkaenrisj 

Venti: I am very disappointed 

Acting Grandmaster: Kaeya?

Acting Grandmaster: Kaeya you better not be revealing any confidential information

Venti: no more fone for him. I stole it and he'll thank me for it when he's sober.

Diluc Ragnvindr: don't worry, I cut him off.

Diluc Ragnvindr: can you pick him up please?

Librarian: I got him, don't worry!

Nun of ya business: don't eltrocue him

Nun of ya business: he's my friend and I don't want him hurt

Librarian: awe, Rosaria you sweetie don't worry I won't

Nun of ya business: good

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Traveller: Venti's friend is a very interesting travel buddy 

Librarian: oh?

Gliding Champ: pft! Kaeya is practically dead on his feet!

Traveller: his name is Xiao and he's also an Anemo holder

Gliding Champ: hi Aether!

Traveller: hello Amber, anyways

Traveller: he has a very sacrificial fighting style and his vision can actually harm him when he's using this one move

Librarian: yes, how visions manifest their power depends on the history and personality of that person. Though if that move that hurts him is his most powerful, we call that an ultimate.

Paimon: but if visions are given by the gods why can they hurt you?

Venti: Sometimes the elemental energy is too strong even for the vision holder themself.

Venti: While sometimes the vision holder themself believe that they should be hurt so it hurts them.

Paimon: that's sad

Venti: It is.

Nun of ya business: I have a killer hangover

Traveller: oof

Nun of ya business: ? Anyways, how's the hangover Venti?

Venti: non existent!

Nun of ya business: BULLSHIT!

Venti: you can ask Master Diluc if you don't believe me!

Nun of ya business: @Diluc Ragnvindr is this true?!

Diluc Ragnvindr: unfortunately

Diluc Ragnvindr: he has god-like levels of alcohol tolerance apparently 

Paimon: hahahahaha! What do you mean god-like?! He's not a god!

Diluc Ragnvindr: I never implied that

Paimon: oh

Diluc Ragnvindr: on another note, tell Kaeya that I have his fone

Diluc Ragnvindr: if he doesn't get it before midnight than I'll break it

Acting Grandmaster: I'll let him know.

Diluc Ragnvindr: thank you

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Venti: I can bring it to him

Diluc Ragnvindr: no, he has to get it himself

Paimon: MORAX DIED!!!!!!!!

Acting Grandmaster: what?

Librarian: huh?

Nun of ya business: am I still drunk?

Goth Hotel: pardon?!

Ella's Musk: what?

Grandmaster: what do you mean Morax is dead?

Paimon: his body just dropped onto the pavement inthe middle of his ascension and now Xiao and the Liyue governor are arguing!!

Paimon: the governor wants to blame Aether and Xiao is blaming the fatui

Venti: Why do they want to blame Aether?

Paimon: idk! But we're now going to the Jade Chamber to discuss this

Paimon: see ya soon

Grandmaster Varka to Tianquan Ningguang

Grandmaster Varka: I have heard that Morax died, please accept my sincerest condolences and apologies for the tradegy and my contacting you on buisness because of this event. I have contacted you to discuss how this will affect Mondstandt.

Tianquan Ningguang: Thank you for your condolences but please save your apologies. I would have also contacted you if Barbatos died suddenly, please know that it is currently in investigation and I am unable to answer your questions. I will let you know if there is any danger to Mondstadt as per the contract between our nations. On a similar note, it has only been a few hours since the event happened, how do you know?

Grandmaster Varka: I believe you know the travellers Aether and Paimon? They have been accepted as honorary Mondstadtians.

Furina to Neuvillette

Furina: Morax fucking faked his death!!!!!!

Neuvillette: Pardon?

Furina: Morax

Furina: Faked

Furina: His

Neuvillette: I read it the first time.

Furina: Death

Furina: can you believe it?!

Neuvillette: No, I cannot.

Furina: apparently during his annual ascension festival he fucking threw a fake body on the ground that was good enough to fool one of his adepti

Neuvillette: I find myself torn between laughing and pity. On one the hand, the fact that a archon choose to fake their death is hilarious in it's absurdity. Whilst on the other hand, I pity the followers and servants who will now have to mourn an archon like that.

Furina: oh wow. I didn't know Barbatos could do that

Neuvillette: Do what?

Furina: he's furious so he cursed Morax to hear the mourning cries of his people until either he reveals himself or no one is mourning him anymore.

Furina: now Morax is scolding Barbatos for "wasting that valuable energy when there's an outlander"

Neuvillette: He doesn't care he got cursed?

Furina: He cares but in a way that's like "what else could I do?" He's also revealing that he got a prophecy saying that Morax would die when the Outlander is on their journey so he's taking it into his own hands

Furina: Barbatos is saying he understands the sentiment and is helping but that doesn't change the damage done and that at least the adeptus deserve to know

Furina: and Morax only has to reveal himself in a dream and say that he is at peace

Furina: Barbatos is also saying that Morax's plan is cruel and is questioning his sanity

Furina: he apparently is planning to let Osial free as a test to see if they still need him

Furina: Morax is now saying he has a contract with the Tsaritsa that he can't break and Barbatos replied that the release of his ancient foe isn't part of it

Furina: the Tsaritsa is now yelling at Barbatos for a privacy invasion whilst Morax defends him "he can't help listening to the wind"

Furina: tho Morax is now scolding Barbatos for using the archon group chat and not just yelling at him through the wind

Furina: Barbatos says that the fone is less costly in energy, Morax leaves saying he has a funeral to plan

Furina: Barbatos leaves the group chat with a parting shot: "the Tsaritsa is dangerously close to their contract breaking"

Neuvillette: Wow.

Neuvillette: Ask Barbatos if he can help with the prophecy since he is apparently helping Morax with his. I will be willing to pay anything.

Furina: alright.

Tartaglia to Director

Tartaglia: Morax fucking died! Wtf am I supposed to do now?!

Director: He didn't die, he faked his death. You're young with only three years of experience in the Harbringers so I'll overlook this show of ignorance.

Tartaglia: Can you please tell me where he is?

Director: He is masquerading as a mortal by the name of Zhongli.

Tartaglia: My tour guide?!

Director: Yes, please be careful. Barbatos is threatening to call our contract broken and if that happens then Morax will break off the contract between us.

Chapter Text

Hu Tao to Zhongli

Hu Tao: Zhongli! How's the preparations for our newest client going?

Zhongli: It is going smoothly, I have ran into two new friends who are shadowing me to learn more about Morax.

Hu Tao: oh?

Zhongli: Yes, they're new to Liyue and came for a chance to glance at Morax.

Hu Tao: Well they certainly caught a glimpse of him!

Zhongli: Indeed.

Hu Tao: Have fun! The funeral of our Archon should be a once in a lifetime event!

Hu Tao: btw, your spending limit is 1 million mora! Anymore and it will be billed to you!

The Seven

Barbatos: @Tsaritsa, for your information if you have my gnosis then consider our contract broken.

Morax: Why would she have your gnosis?

Barbatos: La Signora stole mine from my chest, but I am giving the Tsaritsa the benefit of the doubt.

Focalors: Barbatos, you have a contract with the Tsaritsa?!

Barbatos: Yes, we also have a contract with each other Focalors.

Furina to Neuvillette

Furina: we apparently already have a contract with Barbatos we can work with.

Neuvillette: I have no knowledge of this.

Furina: and I forgot about it

Furina: it dates back to the end of the Archon war, when the gnosis were handed out but the boundaries between each nation and God where not yet settled. Barbatos made a contract with each Archon, his blessings of their lands in exchange for peace between their nations and their people being allowed to worship Barbatos. 

Furina: That's also what allowed the other gods to be prayed to in different nations than their own.

Neuvillette: What brought on this topic?

Furina: y'know La Signora, right? The fatui harbringer?

Neuvillette: I do.

Furina: she attacked Barbatos and stole his gnosis.

Neuvillette: What! An Archon's gnosis getting stolen? That is unbelievable.

Furina: but it's true!

Furina: now if the Tsaritsa still wants Barbatos's blessings and Morax's contract she'll have to announce Signora as rouge and his gnosis must be returned

Furina: I also found the contract with Barbatos! I'll meet you at my office.

Neuvillette: Alright, I'll be there in 10 minutes.

Chapter Text

Tea Party (No Boys Allowed)

N.: Dear Skirk, how did you train that childe?

A.: oh?

N.: He's making such a fuss over the geo gnosis, I almost feel bad for him.

S.: if he's losing then I don't know him.

N.: Then you don't know him.

A.: Ha!

S.: how badly is he losing?

N.: It's only been a few minutes of Zhongli toying with him while the Traveller fights him yet he's already using his abyss form.

N.: And he was beat soundly, but what's that?

R.: what's what?

N.: Signora has appeared, and attempted to do the same trick she did with Barbatos.

N.: She was petrified for her trouble.

N.: Barbatos also revealed that that vermin who invaded Rosalyn's body stole his gnosis this time, so the Tsaritsa was supposed to abandon her. Now Signora showed up still with the blessing of cyro. What a scandal!

A.: oh my!

S.: on another note, the princess is trying to team up with my employer

R.: what fun!

W.: I hope he keeps his word, it would be a shame for his contract to break.

A.: Furina and her dragon are currently scheming to get Barbatos's help for their prophecy

W.: What do they wish from me? To stop it? It was already set into stone.

B.: Plus they are doing just fine on their own.

R.: they want the certainty and freedom of it disappearing

W.: The rebellion against the Shogun is almost at it's crescendo, they just need that one variable to join.

S.: would it not be the outlander?

N.: No, It doesn't have to be, though that is desirable. Whether it was a cat or a dog- the vase is still broken in the aftermath. No matter if the isolation was broken due to a Traveller or a fone- the isolation is still broken.

W.: The Traveller doing it will cause less casualties.

A.: @B. Do you wish for me to add Mona to the Mondstadt group chat now?

B.: It is about time to give her her vision.

A.: Alright! Have fun! I certainly will! :)

W.: Oh? A smiling face?

A.: yes!

W.: :)

A.: :)

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Alice has added Mona to the groupchat.

Alice: Mona will be coming to Mondstadt in a few weeks, so I have added her here to make the transition smoother!

Mona: No, I'm not?!

Glidin Champ: what?

Boomboom: HI mom! And do you also have no nation like Aether? 

Mona: no, I'm from Fontaine!

Alice: Your master wants to talk to you Mona

Grandmaster has kicked Mona out of the groupchat

Grandmaster: You cannot just add random people to the Mondstadt groupchat Alice. I allowed it with Aether since he doesn't have a nation, but she does!

Alice has added Mona to the groupchat

Alice: just wait a see ;)

Venti: a smiling winking face?

Calvary with no horses: yes ;)

Traveller to Venti

Traveller: SIGNORA STOLE THE PROOF OF YOUR GODHOOD?!?!

Venti: Yes, though when you put it like that it sounds worst than it actually is.

Traveller: Worst than it actually is?!?! How can it be any better?!

Venti: It doesn't change much for me. :)

Traveller: Paimon wants to know how she managed to beat you when you're a god, and I do too!

Venti: The Seven Archons, or just The Seven as they are now known, are seven gods responsible for the seven nations of Teyvat. Each god presides over one nation and element, and only in preforming this duty can they obtain power. But I haven't been back to Mondstadt in and while and even if I was, Mondstadt wouldn't be too happy with me preforming those duties. 

Venti: So I am now the weakest amongst The Seven!

Traveller: Don't sound too happy there.

Venti: Ehe!

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Traveller: I got a magic teapot that has a house in it and if I give people a key they can enter it anytime at anyplace and then either exit where the teapot is or where they entered.

Traveller: so I'll be giving keys to those who wish to help me on my travels

Deaconness Barbara: I may not be able to help with fighting, but I can heal! So please let me help you!

Venti: I would love to help you and see the stories you write first hand, I hope you visit soon :)

Calvary with no horses: I have never heard of a teapot like that before. Where do you get it?

Paimon: it's an adepti invention!

Calvary with no horses: I see, then allow me to help you when I have the time

Wolf boy: what is adepti?

Venti: They are creatures that helped Morax protect Liyue.

Wolf boy: the one that died?

Venti: Yes.

Wolf boy: Lupical was unhappy when he heard that Morax died.

Mona: guess my future is in Mondstadt

Paimon: what?

Mona: I got a Mondstadt vision from my master.

Paimon: WHAT?!

Chapter Text

The Winds are brewing, dance, dance, dance!

Paimon: HOW S THAT POSSIBL?!?!?!?

Mona: I DONT KNOW?!?!

Mona: I'M ALSO FREAKING IUT OK!?

Mona: DID FOCALORS ABANDON ME? DID BARBATOS JUST YOINK ME? OR DID MASTER DO SOMD BS?!?!

Mona: I DON'T KNOW!!!!!

Wolf boy: what is going on?

Librarian: Who is your master Mona?

Mona: Barbeloth

Librarian: I see.

Wolf boy: what do you see?

Librarian: sorry Razor. You know the metal casing around the vision?

Wolf boy: yes

Librarian: each nation has a different casing. Only the gods know why that happens, but it shows which nation and god you reside under. If one was to have no nation or god, then they would automatically get the Mondstadt casing. But Mona has a nation, one that is not Mondstadt. This means that either Celestia made a mistake or she is no longer a person of Fontaine.

Traveller: why is Mondstadt the one given to those of no nation? And what does Mona mean by Barbatos yoinking her?

Librarian: Barbatos will adopt any person in Teyvat, it was historically a problem in the archon war.

Paimon: OK so he'll take anyone who isn't already taken, but why yoink her?

Librarian: Barbatos has a habit of stealing other archon's people if they are interesting. There is actually a contract between the archons because they would steal each other's people with Barbatos being the main perpetrator.

Wolf boy: Lupical says that The Wind cradles all in life so it was hard to not claim all.

Librarian: very good Razor!

Paimon: but what about Barbeloth?

Mona: she's a very powerful astrologer who made many accurate prophecies.

Librarian: she's on the same level as Alice.

Paimon: scary!

Traveller: What do you mean by Barbatos claiming everyone because we all breathe air, when we need all the elements in a balance to survive?

Deaconness Barbara: Yes, that is true, we do need a balance of all elements to survive. So it would make sense if all the Archons had a hard time only claiming their nation's people.

Deaconness Barbara: The problem arises when you factor in their species. All the Archons didn't start out as gods- they became them. Like how Morax is an adepti or the Shogun is a yokai. Barbatos is a wind spirit- something that has no concepts of boundaries.

Traveller: huh.

Chapter Text

Teapot House

Traveller has made a groupchat

Traveller has added 10+ people to the groupchat

Traveller: Welcome to the teapot groupchat!

Kaeya: thank you for inviting me, it's quite a homey house you have in there.

Paimon: you didn't even see it yet!

Kaeya: oh but I know even without looking at it that Aether made it homey despite your input.

Paimon: why you!

Kaeya: yes? ;)

Paimon: ARGGGFHR8GJRHEHD

Traveller: so I'll be in Mondstadt in about two days, wanna pick it up then?

Kaeya: sure!

Barbara: where at? What time?

Venti: wherever it is I'll be there!

Aether: the statue in front of the church? As for what time it depends on when I get there.

Barbara: All right!

Hu Tao: the teapot is homey btw!

Hu Tao: may I know everyone's name? I'm Hu Tao Funeral Director of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor in Liyue Harbour! You stab 'em we bag 'em!

Kaeya: if we will keep in touch and work with one another with Aether, then we should get to know each other. Alright.

Kaeya: I'm Kaeya, Calvary Captain of the Knights of Favonious.

Barbara: I'm the deaconness for Barbatos and a part-time singer!

Venti: I'm Venti the bard!

Hu Tao: ooooh, so we have some big shots of Mondstadt and a bard!

Venti: Hey!

Zhongli: Amusing. I'm Zhongli, a consultant at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

Xiao: Xiao, an Adepti.

Bennett: Ah! The ones similar to the four winds! I'm Bennett btw, an adventurer!

Xiao: No.

Ganyu: I'm Ganyu, the secretary for Qixing.

Zhongli: No, It is not like the Four Winds of Mondstadt. The Four Winds are a disfunction mess that are just like their Archon: a hypocritical being that has no rules. I mean, the dragon attacked it's own nation and yet the falcon did nothing. The Lionfang changes with every grandmaster and the wolf is only able to exist in it's on territory.

Venti: Hey!

Hu Tao: wow.

Zhongli: Unlike the Adepti, who are bound to rules and regulations. They are social enough to know when any of the other adepti are in danger or is a danger as well as communicating with the people of Liyue. They is also not one position in fluctuate change and the ones actually powerful enough to deal with any threats are not abstent from the people they swore to protect.

Barbara: how dare! The Falcon of the West is currently busy with other matters, The Dragon of the East was manipulated by the abyss due to injuries it sustained from fighting Durin, and The Wolf of the North sacrificed his body to free Mondstadt from eternal winter! Never mind the fact that The Lionfang of the South is a postion blessed by Barbatos himself given so that the people of Mondstadt have an important hand in protecting their nation too!

Barbara: Not to mention the fact that until the adepti, who only protect Liyue out of contract- The Four Winds protect Mondstandt because they want to! Also not mentioning the other less official protectors of Mondstadt.

Zhongli: I apologize, that was out of line of me.

Baizhu: Well, I'm Baizhu a doctor in Liyue. Myself and my charge, Qiqi, are happy to be here.

Qiqi: Hello. My name is Qiqi. Qiqi is a zombie I forgot what comes next.

Venti: Usually it's "Nice to meet you."

Qiqi: Ah. Qiqi will forget. Sorry.

Venti: It's alright.

Chapter Text

Furina to Venti

Furina: Barbatos, I request a meeting with you.

Venti: Oh? May I ask what we would be discussing in this hypothetical meeting?

Furina: The Prophecy of Fontaine and our contract from the Archon War.

Venti: We're already talking right now, so let's discuss it.

Furina: Alright.

Furina: I noticed Morax saying that you helped him with his prophecy, and as stated in our contract you would help me of I asked and it was in your ability to do so.

Furina: This meeting is me asking for help with Fontaine's prophecy andbl what that help will include.

Venti: I'm already helping as much as I can without directly interfering.

Furina: You are?!?! 

Furina: Why was I unaware of this?!

Venti: Because you're young and never learned to feel the blowing winds.

Furina: And why aren't you helping directly!?

Venti: You don't need my direct help, and my direct help could jeprodize everything. You need the prophecy to come to pass, you cannot run from it. Any direct interference from me would cause the prophecy to not be fulfilled.

Furina: And I can't kill the one who made the prophecy?

Venti: No, that wouldn't help at all.

Furina: she should have just shut her mouth or else we wouldn't have to deal with this prophecy.

Venti: You know that is not the case, that a prophecy is a spoiler for a future plot point that cannot be avoided.

Furina: And they cannot be wrong?

Venti: They can only be misinterpreted. There is no escaping fate.

Furina: Watch me.

Venti: I hope you succeed. Good luck.

Furina: How are you helping exactly? Our contract does state that if asked, help being given is required. I would hate to involve Morax.

Venti: Our contract does state that I am required to help once asked, but only if my help does not cause further harm. As I once stated, I am doing everything I can without harming your nation.

Furina: What is that help exactly?

Venti: Blowing the Winds in your favor.

Furina: What?

Venti: I am helping by changing the Winds into your favor.

Furina: I will not get a straight answer out of you, will I?

Venti: That answer seems pretty clear to me.

Furina: Never mind, you won't help even if I get Morax involved. You won't adopt my citizens besides Mona, you won't lend your power to protect them. You won't do anything, no wonder you're the lazy archon.

Furina: Goodbye.

Venti: Goodbye

Chapter Text

Teapot House

Aether: I'm on my way back to Mondstadt! I just need to do a few more errands.

Barbara: be safe!

Aether: I will

Hu Tao: Hey Barbara, did you know that Ganyu has been the secretary for the Qixing since it's conception? And that she personally knew Morax?

Barbara: wow! Why is she just a secretary and not a leader by now?

Hu Tao: Morax was the immortal ruler while the Tianquan was the mortal leader.

Paimon: that's an interesting system! Much different from Mondstadt where there has only ever been a mortal ruler!

Bennett: no, there has been an immortal dictator before Barbatos.

Hu Tao: REALLY?!?!

Barbara: Mondstadt was originally under the rule of Decarabian the God of Storms. He trapped the people of old Mondstadt in a whirlwind, they were never able to see the sky! When the people had enough they began to revolt. Barbatos heard the cries of freedom from a nameless bard and soon joined them. Once Decarabian was killed, the Wolf of the North gave up the right of Archonhood to Barbatos-- stating that only He knew what Mondstadt would truly need.

Paimon: Why would the people of Mondstadt accept Barbatos as their God if they just killed their previous God who was a tyrant?

Barbara: this was during the Archon War, where any unclaimed people would be forced to worship a god or die. They originally made a deal with the Wolf of the North for protection with Barbatos as a messenger but once Barbatos ascended they followed Him for He offered protection without conditions.

Kaeya: Barbara's family was actually one of the main contributors to the revolt. And her family was the first worshipers of Barbatos.

Baizhu: How do you determine that?

Barbara: When Barbatos was still a Wind Wisp He heard the prayers of my ancestors for a safe shelter from the cold plaguing Mondstadt at the time. He gifted that shelter and we've prayed to Him ever since.

Baizhu: We don't actually know how Morax came to be worshipped, but there are tales.

Kaeya: oh yeah?

Baizhu: The most popular one is from when Liyue Harbor was freed from the tyrant of Osisal by Morax and the Adepti. Osisal was losing the Archon War and instead of conceding his followers to the gods around him he planned to drown every human in Liyue. Morax fought him and sealed him away, unable to kill him lest the curse of drowning came to be. During that time the Adepti moved all humans of Liyue to it's highest points.

Bennett: I thought it would be the mora tale?

Baizhu: No, Morax creating the Mora was after he began to be worshipped.

Bennett: huh.

Chapter Text

Teapot House

Aether has added Mona to the groupchat

Hu Tao: new blood?

Aether: she's a new resident of Mondstadt 

Paimon: we helped her move!

Mona: and also ate me out of my reward. I could have used that for rent! Now I have to live in a Granny's basement!

Kaeya: lol

Paimon: aren't astrologists in high demand? Especially ones as skilled as you?

Mona: that's besides the point!

Hu Tao: oh, if she's as skilled as you say why doesn't she have enough money saved up for the move?

Mona: the move was spontaneous! Only my master could have seen it!

Kaeya: Where did you move from?

Mona: Fontaine.

Kaeya: Isn't there a decree saying any Fontaine born can't move nations?

Mona: My family is from Mondstadt, I was just born and raised in Fontaine. No Fontaine blood in this body.

Paimon: huh? Why does that matter?

Venti: All people of Fontaine whose ancestors worshiped the previous Hydro Archon will one day dissolve into the Primordial Sea. The day for this event is coming closer, so any of those not of Fontaine are fleeing the nation.

Aether: Why aren't the other Archons giving asylum to the people who would be affected?

Venti: This event was set in motion by Celestia as a punishment for Egeris's crimes. Any Archon getting involved would bring the wrath of Celestia onto their nation.

Venti: But enough about depressing prophecies, you don't have to worry about that right now. What you do have to worry about is bringing me the key to your house that you promised!

Aether: I'm almost there.

Venti: Good!

The Winds are Brewing, Dance, Dance, Dance!

Librarian: Kaeya, please remember to bring my book back on time.

Calvary with no horses: Yes Ma'am, will do.

Traveller: Gonna run some errands before I head to the statue

Venti: Boo, you're going to make me wait?

Diluc Ragnvindr: You can handle it bard.

Paimon: oh yeah! Who do you guys think is the strongest of Mondstadt?

Venti: Alice currently.

Bennet: She's even stronger than our Four Winds?!

Venti: If Dvalin was not in recovery I would say him.

Paimon: The 4 winds don't count! They're divine!

Calvary with no horses: Not all, our dear Acting Grandmaster Jean is The Lionfang of the West.

Traveller: really?

Venti: Yes! The title of Lionfang of the West is reserved for the Grandmaster of Mondstadt though Barbatos can choose any person in Mondstadt to be the Lionfang.

Calvary with no horses: Of course, the chosen person has the right to say no. The title comes with a lot of responsibilities and duties, not to mention once accepted you are bound to it until death.

Traveller: huh. Anyways, have to go now.

BoomBoom: what does Barbatos do if they don't do their duties?

Alice: That happened a few centuries ago.

Calvary with no horses: Oh?

Alice: Barbatos killed them. Took the air right out of their lungs. Not a pleasant experience let me tell you.

Calvary with no horses: Okay then. I have to go as well, Aether is almost at the meet up point. Goodbye!

Alice: LOL

Chapter Text

The Winds are Brewing, Dance, Dance, Dance!

Paimon: To go back to our conversation about the strongest people in Mondstadt people are saying Diluc, Jean, a dark knight hero, and a child in red.

Paimon: They have to be kidding with the child in red right?!

Calvary with no horses: lol

Paimon: huh?!

Paimon: we have meet the child in red. She lost a buried treasure. We are helping her find it.

Librarian: Klee...

Calvary with no horses: Be careful with her treasure.

Paimon: huh?

Paimon: Oh no! An Abyss Mage has it!

Nun of ya buisness: good.

Paimon: what do you mean good?!

Paimon: The Abyss Mage went into a dimension and she chased after it!

Albedo: Keep an eye on her please and make sure she doesn't destroy it too much.

Paimon: HUH?!?! ARE YOU NOT WORRIED ABOUT HER?!?!

Albedo: She can handle herself. She is her mother's daughter afterall.

Paimon: Her treasure blew up the Abyss Mage. Her treasure is a bomb. She is now crying and running to Jean to hand herself in.

Calvary with no horses: I'll handle it

Librarian: Don't worry, we'll handle it sweetie.

Paimon: we're chasing after her. We'll explain more there.

Paimon: who is this child?

Paimon: "Bombs inside city wall, grounded be thy woe. Explosions can hurt people, Jean can be dreadful. Modstadt be bombed, Klee be doomed."

Paimon: what the fuck is this?!?!

Alice: Language, my child is in the chat

Venti: Your child is the one causing Paimon to break down lol

Paimon: WHAT

Venti: @calvary with no horses did I not use 'lol' correctly?

I'm OK!: You did but she's probably surprised that Klee is Alice's child.

Venti: Does she not see the resemblance? Besides, Klee is much more tame than Alice was at her age.

Alice: She is :)

Grandmaster: I feel sorry for the world

Alice: Don't be, it needed it.

Venti: No. No it did not.

Alice: LOL

Alice: I was so bad I got an ultimatum from Barbatos

Traveller: What was it?

Alice: ;)

Traveller: oh gods

Paimon: WHAT WAS IT?!?!

Alice: Ehe!

Paimon: WHAT DO YU MEAN EHE?!

Alice: Ehe.

Paimon: RURFHRBIEJWIUHODJHS

Chapter Text

The Winds are Brewing, Dance, Dance, Dance!

Venti: My children are so cute!

Venti: Wrong chat

Diluc Ragnvindr: YOU HAVE CHILDREN?!?!

Calvary with no horses: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WRONG CHAT?!?!

Venti: ehe.

Diluc Ragnvindr: YOU CAN'T EHE YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS!!!! WHO ARE YOUR CHILDREN!!!!

Venti: these squirrels I've been watching the past few days

Huffman: I almost had a heart attack. Don't do that

Venti: Pardon? What's the problem?

No Alcohol or I'll bite: you're a drunkard bard, I feel sorry for any children you may have

Venti: Diona...

Diluc Ragnvindr: Your father is on his way home Diona

No Alcohol or I'll bite: hpmh.

Sara: so that's why he's on his way home with his tail between his legs.

Traveller: oh?

Huffman: Diona's dad often comes to Dawn Tavern since Diona works at the only other bar and won't serve him. 

Diluc Ragnvindr: And aren't you supposed to be working?

Huffman: I'm currently looking for the Dark Knight.

Paimon: who?

Calvary with no horses: a knight of the dark who patrols Mondstadt looking for evil doers to beat up and burn.

Calvary with no horses: He's said to have fire for hair and strength to match that of out dear Diluc.

Acting Grandmster: Kaeya...

Calvary with no horses: just saying.

Diluc Ragnvindr: the slimes have been acting up lately

Venti: I'm keeping watch of Draff

Diona: he's perfectly capable!

Venti: you can join me, it would be a pleasure to have your company. Just don't mind if I sneeze too much.

Diona: why would you be sneezing?

Venti: I'm allergic to cats

Paimon: wow. Talk about a handicap.

Diona: well hurry up. I'm having a walk home with my dad and I wouldn't mind some music.

Venti: Alright!

Huffman: Everyone please stay in tonight, we have slimes coming onto the bridge.

Chapter Text

The Winds are Brewing, Dance, Dance, Dance!

Blacksmith: a blonde man who was dressed weird just came to ask me about my survival supplies. Had one side of his face covered and striking blue star eyes.

Nun of ya buisness: I also saw him. He ordered a wine from Diluc for three days from now. Weirdo.

Teapot House

Paimon: Are the rest of the nations as weird as Mondstadt?

Zhongli: No. Like archon, like nation.

Kaeya: Rude.

Paimon: And so are you for tricking us!

Kaeya: We got the job done in the end. Besides, if I told you the truth you would be unable to lie about it.

Kaeya: You would have wrecked the trap I was laying.

Aether: You're helping us do our daily runs to make up to us.

Kaeya: Oh, what misfortune. To spend more time with the wonderful honorary knight.

Paimon: Those honey words of yours...

Bennett: Can I come?

Paimon: The more the merrier!

Bennett: Awesome!

Paimon: oh I see Venti by the statue!

Hu Tao: if I come to the house can I join?

Zhongli: No, you have work to do.

Hu Tao: Ai-ya! The horrors of being a working women.

Aether: Didn't know you could make an invention that makes you able to see imaginary friends.

Zhongli: I didn't know of this.

Baizhu: Fascinating. How does it work? Who made it?

Paimon: The Mondstadt librarian Lisa!

Kaeya: so that's what she used those for. I was concerned she was finally going to the dark side offically!

Xiao: Is she a dendro vision holder?

Kaeya: No, she's electro.

Xiao: Impressive.

Paimon: Why?

Xiao: The mind is the realm of dendro. To be able to see what the mind makes means dendro must be involved.

Paimon: Then why can Venti use it and not Lisa? They both don't have a dendro vision. Aether doesn't have one either!

Kaeya: Well she did get that shipment from Sumeru.

Paimon: Venti did mention she got some supplies to make it from Sumeru!

Barbara: Why is Venti involved?

Paimon: Lisa can't see through it, but Venti and Aether can! Venti thinks it has to do with childhood innocence or something like that.

Zhongli: I see.

The Archons

Morax: Lying again to the Traveller dear Wind?

Barbatos: It is not time for the truth to be exposed dear Stone.

Morax: I did not disagree with you.

Tsaritsa: I do.

Chapter Text

Teapot House

Paimon: Fucking Timmie has a ruin guard for an imaginary friend!

Barbara: Yeah, he talks about his friend all the time at church.

Paimon: HE'S THREATENING US WITH HIS IMAGINARY FRIEND!!!

Hu Tao: What for?

Barbara: Probably his pigeons.

Paimon: HIS PIGEONS!!

Hu Tao: huh. Kids are wild.

Paimon: Adults do not have imaginary friends. That is confirmed.

Baizhu: Of course.

Paimon: We're now trying to figure out at what age do people stop having imaginary friends.

Baizhu: Somewhere in the preteens and teens years.

Barbara: Makes sense.

Paimon: A knight in training has Jean for an imaginary friend!

Hu Tao: This Jean must be an important figure.

Barbara: She is! She's our Acting Grandmaster and the current Lionfang!

Aether: We are now on a message mission. I wish I didn't have to do these.

Xiao: You can just not.

Hu Tao: Liongfang?

Aether: But then I'll feel bad.

Barbara: The Lionfang of the South! One of our Four Winds!

Hu Tao: Cool.

Paimon: This Stanley guy sure loves to talk about himself.

Barbara: He has many interesting stories.

Tea Party (No Boys Allowed)

N.: Poor Barbatos.

R.: Why?

N.: A man named himself Stanley and took on the life of the previous Stanley after he died to protect our current Stanley.

N.: He did it to make sure Stanley never fades from memory.

N.: He is holding onto Stanley so dearly his spirit is still here.

R.: He cannot blame himself for the actions Celestia took to chain the Thousand Winds to them.

A.: Yet he still does.

The Archons

Barbatos: Decarabian loved his people. That is a fact, one that cannot be denied.

Focalors: Pardon?

Barbatos: The Lord of Gales wished to protect his children. That protection came in the form of a wall of wind blocking out the world.

Morax: Not even my stones could break through it.

Raiden Shogun: That is powerful.

Barbatos: Indeed. But the people of Old Mondstadt did not feel safe, they viewed his protection as a cage.

Barbatos: They cried out to him, begging to be set free. To see the sun, the birds in flight. He did not listen. He believed he knew better. And so, the people declared him a tyrant.

Barbatos: His legacy is that of a tyrant, when he only wanted to protect.

Haboryn: An interesting story. What brought this on?

Barbatos: Puppet. Tell Beelzebub that if she goes on the path she's set on, her sister's legacy will be the same.

Traveller to Venti

Traveller: What was your friend's name?

Venti: ■■■■■■

Chapter Text

Teapot House

Paimon: Kaeya! Come home! We need a cyro bridge!

Qiqi: I can make cryo bridges.

Kaeya: I am home though?

Paimon: I meant the teapot!

Paimon: Nevermind, Qiqi is here to help.

Aether: Qiqi, why did you leave?

Baizhu: Hu Tao has repeatedly harassed Qiqi. Please do not allow her anywhere near Qiqi.

Paimon: Hu Tao, why are you harassing Qiqi?

Hu Tao: She's a zombie! She's supposed to be resting! It's cruel to take her rest away!

Venti: Every soul deserves to rest, but we cannot force it.

Hu Tao: That's torture! Not being able to rest is torture!

Zhongli to Venti

Zhongli: I am glad you have learnt your lesson.

Venti: Who am I if not a being that learns?

Zhongli: Your siblings have not.

Venti: What did they do?

Zhongli: They have been helping Hu Tao in harassing poor Qiqi.

Venti: They haven't succeeded have they?

Zhongli: The girl's terrified of Hu Tao you drunkard. Do something.

Venti: She's your citizen.

Zhongli: Yet your siblings block me from handling her.

Venti: Hahahahaha!

Zhongli: This is not funny. They're interfering with my duty.

Venti: It's no longer your duty though, is it?

Zhongli: Barbatos.

Venti: Alright, I'll talk to them.

Teapot House

Aether: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Mona: What's wrong?

Bennett: We ran right into a ruin guard, almost died!

Barbara: Come right to the house and I'll heal you up!

Aether: Thank you so much!