Archive of Our Own ^beta

There was a sudden darkness and then a burst of light from above. He saw it, the light of the sun seeping down through the cracks of the broken ceiling, he could smell the morning dew in the air as he crawled himself out of the old mattress he had dragged into the abandoned hut in the middle of the woods. Alone once more, he had thought a little to himself about the dullness of his existence. The bruising on his hands he had gotten from his recent escapades and the scars that littered his body from years of misdeeds and acts against the law.

It was all for his own survival, he reminded himself. He needed to be as cunning as a fox and as brutal as a wolf. That was how life was and how life will always be for someone like him. He couldn’t allow his thoughts to wander in such directions when he knew what would happen to him if he ever hesitated on a mission.

When wrestling within the jaws of fate, a smart thief would bargain for his own life than for those of people who would strand him the moment their cooperation was no longer fruitful for their personal endeavours. He couldn’t allow himself to think too much about what would happen to others when he had his own skin to save. That was just how things were and he, a weathered man, creaking from his experiences, shouldn’t think twice about looking out for himself.

The darkness can envelope anything, including lost souls in time. There was a time when he ran through the streets on a rainy day. He could hear the howling of dogs behind him but he did his best to ignore it and focus on his breathing. He had to get away as fast as he could, he needed to escape with his own life if he wished to see through to the next morning.

It was not the most pleasant time of his life nor was it his proudest either. Though, if he had to choose between being mauled to death by a pack of angry guard dogs or leaving those fellow conmen behind, he decided that he’d rather take his chances to escape into the dead of night than to lose his life to beasts that were set off towards them by a madman with far too much gold lining his pockets.

He took shelter in an alleyway when he felt as though he had ran far enough from the house. Even so, he could still hear the screams of those unlucky individuals who didn’t run fast enough from that place, though. Even after the sun began to rise in the sky, he couldn’t help but wonder to himself if anyone else had escaped that place… or if it was simply a guilty conscience weighing upon him about what he had done when he could have done better.

The pain that ran through his body, it felt like his insides were on fire but he didn’t want to look, he didn’t want to see what happened to his legs, he couldn’t handle seeing what had become of him. He closed his eyes and he was suddenly standing in the bustling streets of Rondon, looking around himself as he took in the scenery for the first time.

It was far more lively than he had first imagined it being, all he had heard about the kingdom in the past was about how power hungry the nation was and how cruel the kingdom was as well. His first impression the first day in Rondon, however, was simply utter amazement and how strange and new everything felt to him. The blueness of the buildings contrasting the redness of the cross upon their flags.

“What do you think of this place?” He heard someone ask him.

He didn’t respond then, he didn’t even know if that voice was directed towards him or someone else in the group. All he knew was that he wanted to see what his future would be like once he finally found his footing in this new place. There was a sharp pain to his left but he didn’t know what had happened.

It felt as though his head was a thousand times heavier than it was before. He was struggling to keep his eyes open. He didn’t… he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how he was still alive at that point. Everything felt fuzzy to him but he could still smell that ugly stench that burned itself into his nostrils. He could still feel the rough terrain around him, the pieces of himself that had been ripped to sunder and the pulsing fear that was still, somehow, keeping him awake enough to realise what he had done wrong.

That stupid assignment. That stupid thought that had crossed his mind that day when he explained everything to Celeste. That stupid scheme he had plotted for himself of getting rich and getting him and Celeste out of their horrid situations and where did that all lead him? He could have turned around the moment they found that corpse in that room, he could have stayed behind when the others wanted to keep going deeper down.

He just had to go further down, didn’t he? He just had to keep going even though he knew he might find himself in a place where he could never turn back around. He could hear a voice echoing through the darkness as he tried to crawl his way towards the… thing… that spawned from some ancient creature his mind could not comprehend.

No, that was not right. That wasn’t how it should be. He saw an image appear in his mind. The warmth he felt sitting with someone in a dimly lit room. Her hands cupped his cheek and he kissed it, gently. The excitement he felt as a young boy as a man handed him a dagger for the first time, telling him that he was strong enough to defend himself. The same feeling he felt as he handed the little girl her own dagger and the gentle smile she had on her face when she gazed back up at him.

He wanted her to be safe… he thought back to the moment when he resigned himself to going further into the depths. The mind breaking moments he had the longer he followed the others through the darkness. The screams of agony he heard ringing through the halls the longer they stayed down there.

Seeing the dead come back alive, seeing bits and pieces of his own selfness being torn away from him. The numb unfeelingness he held up as he watched the last of humanity leave his comrades’ eyes. And yet they still call themselves humans even after the things they did. And yet he tried to call himself sane as he laid there, finally feeling the blood loss and darkness take a hold of his body, refusing to allow him to move and further towards the destination he was trying to reach.

“Pull yourself together, we can’t rest here.” He heard someone telling him but he still didn’t move from where he was.

“I really don’t need anyone telling me what to do. You do what you see best but I’m going to sit down here for a moment.” He had told that someone as he huffed a little to himself.

“We need your sword. Don’t give in to the fear.” Another voice spoke in a soft tone.

“I know you are better than this, let’s continue together.” Another voice tried to encourage him.

He tried to pull himself up but he only had one arm left to do so. He cried out in pain but no sound escaped from his lips. It felt hoarse, it felt impossible for him to utter any sound out. He wondered if he had torn his throat so badly that he could no longer scream. He wanted to… so badly… but this dungeon seemed to find it more humorous to take everything from him, as much as he could give, as much as he wanted to keep for his own greed.

This was his downfall, wasn’t it? Karma coming to collect its due after all the suffering he had inflicted upon others. Maybe it was the sins of his past finally finding him and showing him the wrath that was comparable to the pain he had inflicted on others. Or maybe it was fate teaching him the lesson it should have taught him the day he allowed his own needs overshadow the needs of others.

But as his mind began to spiral further downwards, he felt the figure looming over him stir and it reminded him of the truth of his predicament. It was not fate or karma or the angry souls of people who wanted him dead for his previous mistakes but the one he had released from that cage what felt like a millennia ago. She was looking down at him but he could not sense pity from her.

It was never pity she felt for him, he didn’t even know if she truly knew what pity was. He felt his head lop over to one side as he took one last attempt to push himself closer towards her. He could see Celeste looking through a window, watching people pass by the brothel. He could see D’arce huddled up in a corner of the dungeon, weeping to herself. He could see Enki looking up towards the sky in that ancient city underground, wondering the logic of that place. He could see Ragnvaldr standing with the wolf, his weapon stained with blood but he looked at peace with his accomplishment.

And, at that moment, he exhaled as a whiteness took over his eyes. The ground felt gentler than before and everything went numb all at once. The pain was gone and his body felt lighter than it had been in a long time. He felt as though they were looking at him, those people from the past and the present gathered around him as they witnessed something truly magnificent happening. Their eyes travelled from the limp body of a fallen man upwards towards an ascended being rivalling all the gods from the past combined.

And then Cahara saw her, a little girl with red hair standing above him, looking down at him with a strange expression on her face. He wanted to crack a joke to make her smile, it was the first thing that he thought of doing but he felt too tired to think of something to say to her. Instead, she leaned down and pressed her tiny fingers over his eyelids.

There wasn’t any air going into his lungs but he was still aware enough to hear her saying something to him. He couldn’t tell if it was a sorrowful farewell or a promise to him that he could not make out. At that moment, he could see light streaming through a window as Celeste stood in front of him, completely naked but his eyes were too focused on her expression to realise the predicament they had caught each other in.

“I'm leaving tomorrow. If- no, when I get back, things will change. You just wait and see!” He sounded so confident then, he didn’t feel like he had a right to anymore.

“Honey…” Celeste’s eyes were filled with sorrow as she tried to reach him.

Well, he guessed he did break his promise, didn’t he? But the lightness he felt was too comforting for him to linger on those thoughts anymore. His eyes were closed but he could see Celeste looking up towards the figure cloaked in darkness and agony, an ally and enemy to all of humanity. A new age was to be born from his sacrifice, that was what he realised then. Was it worth it, though? Did he do the right at that moment? He didn’t know… he just felt too tired to carry on…

The darkness engulfed all surrounding him and it finally took him with it…