Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Based off of, 'an uchiha headcannon' by reader93 on ao3 go read it first to better understand this fanfic

'The clans of konoha are fucking insane' was the first coherent thought that came out of katsu's brain ever. It was at 6 months old that she had first come across a clan member do clan member things.

Like three different uchiha members all teamed up to kidnap this random person-well a really strong jonin but it didn’t appear like that to a six month old. Katsu watched those three kidnap that poor jonin and she didn’t see them again until 7 months later(-was that kidnapping a marriage ritual?)

The Yamanaka and Nara clans were just as insane-they saw any smart person and instantly stole them. Aburame’s would literally kill someone if they did as little as step on a bug, inuzuka were just like they’re dogs and claimed anyone they saw as part of their ‘pack’ and Hyuga…don’t even get katsu started on the Hyuga those prim and proper neat freaks were some of the most stalkery people on the planet.

For the longest time Katsu had thought that the akimichi clan was the only one even remotely normal until she saw them jump a guy for eating their food.

It was than that Katsu made a mental list of Don'ts

Do not be strong, or in other words don’t be strong enough to have the uchiha notice you
Do not be smart(katsu needs to hide her intelligence, that will be difficult since pretending attracts attention)
Be nice but don’t be family
Be plain and average
Do not become a shinobi-civilian, life is standard, attracts less attention, and if she, an orphaned civilian became a shinobi that would 100 percent make her stand out.
So Katsu remained a civilian, willfully ignorant of all the Shinobi knowledge. Not for long though

One day as her five year old self was walking around, reading a book about math but had brilliantly put a fairy tail cover over it, she felt a weird sensation.

Like energy but more physical almost like slime but it wouldn’t get sticky and no one could really see it.

Fiddling with it, she pushed it down to her feet(which made them feel stronger weirdly enough) then to her hands(they suddenly felt really hot but like in a good way), then finally to her eyes(Katsu felt like she could see so much more now).

Katsu stopped when she overheard a very loud conversation between two shinobi walking beside her.

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing to your chakra!?” since that was such a nice thing to say around it immediately caught her attention. Chakra? What is that?

“Dude!? What do you mean!? I'm not doing anything with my chakra, what are you doing with it!?” could this possibly have something to do with her? Testing the limits, Katsu sent this weird energy to her heart-speeding it up dramatically.

“DUDE STOP THAT! You're going to give yourself a heart attack!”

“DUDE YOU STOP THAT! We're both gonna have a heart attack!”

Katsu instantly came to a conclusion, whatever this weird energy was; chakra he called it, was something that everyone had. The evidence; they had mistaken what she was doing for each other, they didn’t question what was happening to them only questioned why it was happening meaning it was normal.

The reason katsu hadn’t thought that it was a shinobi only thing is because she could do it, huh katsu is going to have to visit the library sometime-the military dictatorship this land sports will actually help her since all the kids books are filled with shinobi propaganda, anything to get more ninja’s so no one would question when she went diving into them to find out more about this ‘chakra’

Fate then decided to help her because one of those wannabe ninja’s who are still in school ran by her,they dropped a book not noticing that they did-katsu had tried to chase after him but he was too fast for him.

When she saw that it was hopeless, Katsu gave up and slowly looked down at the book in her hand.

Chakra Theory..volume 1. Huh.

…
Walking on the walls and ceiling were easy, standing on water in the bathtub was also easy, physical training was anything but easy. Katsu did one push up before her body decided to be a bitch and betray her, leading her to face plant on the floor.

Just because Katsu wasn’t going to become an ninja didn’t mean she had to remain weak. This is a military dictatorship meaning the weak are controlled by the strong.

If Katsu becomes self-taught then she'll be strong enough to defend herself but not strong enough to be noticed. Never having seen any type of jutsu before she was quite sure what the norm was, so until she did Katsu didn't actually let the Chakra out of her body.

No one ever questioned her, they barely even looked at her since Katsu was an orphan and this town was child-est towards orphans, so she got away with a lot of shenanigans.

Like being alone in the middle of the woods at the ungodly hour of 2 am. Katsu needed to practice walking on water because that's the easiest method of escape in a situation where someone did find out she was practicing with chakra.

Then she felt it-a blistering hatred filled type of chakra. Something katsu had never felt before and was so different from any other type of chakra that she came across.

“What are you doing?” a masculine voice asked her-it was far too high pitched so that meant it was a boy who had not yet hit puberty-young and easy to fool.

“What are You doing?” she asked back, turning around to look at the guy. She was right, it was a young boy. The boy had blue eyes, short blond hair, and was no older than her-maybe a bit taller than her.

“Your-you're standing on water” the boy said it in a tone that suggested he knew people could do it, he just didn’t expect someone like her to do it. That means he is either a shinobi himself, or a person wanting to become a shinobi, or someone from a shinobi bloodline. Civilians wouldn’t know how difficult it is to stand on water.

The symbol on his shirt and the lack of muscle on him crossed out the first two options. So this guy is from a shinobi bloodline-Uzumaki she thinks, they were not a prominent clan in konoha so katsu didn’t know that much about them.

“This isn’t water” take advantage of the fact that he’s five just like her and gaslight him.

“It isn’t?”

“No, it's not. This is ground that looks like water”

“Can I step on it?”

“This is my ground, you can’t step on it” that made the uzumaki sad, Katsu did not give a fuc-a fudge she can’t think that around him.

Being 5 this Uzumaki didn’t really listen to her so before he could step on the water Katsu hopped onto him as that was her best method of attack without actually hurting him.

“WHAT PART OF THIS IS MY GROUND YOU CAN’T STEP ON IT DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND!?” she yelled at him.

But then the uzumaki boy started to tear up and before she knew it he was crying-that’s something that katsu knew human beings-especially ones of younger age would cry a lot but it’s something she had never really done. Unless it was to get out of a painful situation involving…the clans(Uchiha cough cough) it was completely illogical and useless to her.

“Uh-please stop crying-im sorry-” how the heck do you comfort a crying child? “If you want-you can step on my ground, just a little bit”

“R-really?” whoever this uzumaki boy was-he brought out something new in her, emotions that's what they are called. She was feeling sad because he was sad. Other than anger, distress, eagerness, or boredom Katsu had not experienced emotions like this. They were strange.

“Yes, you can '' Katsu grabbed onto his arms, gripping around his wrists. Slowly she pulled him up-now she's going to have to trick him somehow.

What happened next-katsu didn’t really know how she did it but it happened and thank the gods it did-she somehow managed to keep the both of them up standing on the water with her chakra alone.

The whole time Katsu could only think'-oh my god, oh my god- I have no idea how the actual heck I'm doing this' perhaps it had something to do with this boy?

"What's your name" Katsu asked him while he was mesmerized by the walking on water, "I'm Katsu Yagamichi"

That caught his attention, he looked up to her with stars in his eyes. "Uzumaki! Uzumaki Naruto you know!-" they both proceeded to fall into the water.

The cold of the water seemed to open a dam in her head. NARUTO!? that uzumaki! Why the actual heck didn't she figure that out right away! They're aren't that many uzumaki's in the village and he looks exactly like his father! Why didn't she notice! This guy is doing something to her, he's making her stupid!

The reason she was panicking had nothing to do with the fact that he was an uzumaki, it was the fact that he was the Hokage's son!

What she did definitely ignited the emotion called curiosity and due to this guy's nature that means he'll want to be friends with her! If Katsu becomes friends with him then that's the equivalent to being dangled over the clans(uchiha cough cough) and she’ll be public enemy number 1! Which to the uchiha is equivalent of look at me! Im so strong and you should kidnap-marry me!

Intending to let herself drown, Katsu didn’t move a muscle but of course naruto did and dragged them both out of the water.
“WOW! It wasn’t water!” Katsu's next plan was to die by suffocating herself but unfortunately holding her breath was painful so that failed quickly.

“…” he’s going to tell everyone about this, that spunky nature of his dictates that he’s going to blabber to everyone, unless-..unless he feels bad for her. That could work.

“Naruto”

“Huh?” he had been busy coughing up water but now she had his attention.

“Do you believe in freedom?”

“Freedom?”

“Yes, freedom. Do you believe in it?”

"I guess so"

"Then can you please keep this a secret? If clans like the uchiha, Nara, Yamanaka found out I could do this then they'll take away my freedom. They're like dragons and steal any strong thing they can get there hands on"

"You want me to hide the fact that you can stand on water this early?" Katsu never expected Naruto to be able to ask that intelligent of a question but he's been making her feel very stupid today so Katsu guesses she'll just have to play on this.

"Yes, prodigies mean death in these lands"

"I'll do it! But on one condition!" She also didn't expect him to know what condition meant either, maybe he's just smarter than Katsu gave him credit for.

"What's your condition?" Katsu already knew what he was going to demand but that didn't mean she wasn't any less curious.

"You have to be my friend you know!- oh and you need to teach me how to do that!"

Katsu narrowed her eyes, "that's two conditions"

"!-well uh…there one condition with two different parts"

Katsu got why he wanted both of the conditions but she still found herself asking him why. "Why do you want to be friends with me?"

For a five year old Naruto really had a very large range of different emotions, he suddenly looked sad and Katsu couldn't understand why. That was frustrating.

"Because..I don't have any friends" if Katsu wasn't so good at controlling her face she would have thrown her jaw onto the ground.

“H-how!?, you're the hokage’s son! Everyone wants to be friends with you!” this was genuinely surprising to katsu, why wouldn’t people want to be friends with him?

“Well yes…at first they did.. But then they all saw how much of an idiot I was and all moved onto someone else” oh, so they just abandoned him?

“You're not that stupid, I'm very smart and you’ve stumped me a lot tonight” if naruto could make her stump then he should at least be not that much of an idiot.

“Really!?” oh there's the stars in his eyes again, “you're the first person to ever tell me that! Everyone always says that sasuke is so smart! I never get called that. My dad told me that most people can’t start walking on water until they’re 14 and you're doing it at five!- You are five like me right?” he waited for Katsu to nod in affirmation. To be able to do that so young means that you're better than sasuke! You have to teach me to be better than sasuke!”

They’re are only 5 sasuke’s in this village, considering naruto is the hokage’s son and thus has more access to people of high clans and less access to civilians there is a 70 percent chance the sasuke he’s talking about is the Uchiha sasuke.

Hm, if Katsu helps Naruto get stronger than this Sasuke it’ll also help her get stronger too but being his only friend will drag the attention to her. Though it could mean protection by the village's leader, access to many more knowledge that she wouldn’t have normally, and….an actual friend.

Perhaps it was her complete isolation that led Katsu to be emotionally stunted no matter how much she dragged herself into the study of knowledge. The human need of wanting a friend was always an evil shadow that never stopped pulling.

“Naruto I’ll be your friend but you have to promise me two things” if he makes two demands then so will she.

Naruto instantly nodded, “One you protect me from all of the Clans, they are completely insane-especially the Uchiha and two You WIll never ever tell anyone about what I’m going to show you-nothing about my prodigy-jutsu-when were not together pretend I don’t even exist”

“I PROMISE YOU KNOW!” he cheered.

“Good, now first off go to bed and meet me here at 9 pm tomorrow-bring some books so I can teach myself first then you” this guy kept making her emotions go wild-Katsu didn’t even realize that she was smiling until naruto pointed it out, making her blush for the first time ever.

“NO I AM NOT!” She tried to attack him again but failed miserably- his chakra was very different from everyone else’s, even when he was happy the chakra was still angry, that intrigued katsu.

The start of a great friendship started that day..also the start of a great mission failed successfully.

Chapter end

Chapter Text

Chapter 2.
(I just realized I forgot to describe what Katsu looks like. She is a brunette and a lot shorter than everyone else her age, she also has purple eyes that will be important later. Yes she despises the fact that she's short)

"Flying flame jutsu!" Katsu yelled out, said jutsu didn't exist, she was just testing the limits.

To her surprise something did come out-steam. Well steam is just really really hot gas that appears when water or any other substance evaporates, it's a gas that you can see, so in a way she did do flying flame jutsu.

It was enough to impress naruto though, he clapped from behind her-unlike when other people praise her in any way katsu actually liked it when naruto praised her. Though human beings tend to get attached to other living beings-especially if that's the only living being they talk to, so that's probably the biggest factor as to why.

Staring at Naruto, Katsu sensed some weird chakra around him, by now she had gotten used to the hateful energy. She quickly learned that it wasn’t his chakra-something sealed inside of him. In one of the scrolls naruto stole for her she discovered something called Fuinjutsu,which is basically just sealing, it’s what helped katsu find out that he has a fucking demon in him.

Hm, since it’s not his chakra it’ll be harder for naruto to master but doesn’t that also mean she could use it?

“Naruto come here” like the puppy he is naruto hopped over to her, it was just yesterday that he turned six and finally mastered being able to walk on water-it was all due to katsu and she felt very proud of both herself and naruto.

“I want to try something and we need to hold hands for it” Katsu explained, Naruto eagerly grabbed ahold of her hand and Katsu began to process through his chakra.

When she grabbed a hold of the demon's chakra, the weirdest thing happened. Katsu got pulled in and she found herself in an entirely different dimension.

The dimension was dark and ominous which was a negative-it also had a demon inside of it which was a positive

“What are you doing you little brat” said the demon voice.

Katsu instantly got up and stared at the demon, it was a fox…that’s cool she guesses, he’s fluffy too.

“Are you going to answer me you little brat!?” the fox asked again, only a lot more harshly.

“Is brat the only insult you know?” katsu retorted.

“WHAT!?- I know more insults! Like..brat” apparently he didn’t.

“Why are you so fluffy?” Katsu never knew how much fun pissing off a demon fox would be until right now.

“I AM NOT FLUFFY I AM POWERFUL ENOUGH TO WIPE YOU OFF THE EARTH YOU IMPUDENT BRAT” wow, he knew impudent. It was then that Katsu remembered why she was here.

She went up to the foxes cage, grabbed some of his chakra and pulled on it. Katsu fell backwards in this weird dimension and woke up in the real world.

"KATSU!" Naruto cried out, feeling relief when his friend finally woke up from what looked like a nightmare filled coma. Her eyes were a disturbing red for a full second before returning back to her intense purple.

"Naruto" Katsu breathed out, she stared at him in awe for a full minute before finishing her sentence. "That was so freaking cool"

Her senses were tingling and Katsu couldn't help but want to learn every single detail over what just happened, she had a learner's passion.

Meanwhile Naruto was internally crying because he knew that look-the look Katsu makes before dragging him to the library or something to study for the next 18 hours.

Should he run now?
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Katsu knew her luck would run out eventually-she just hadn't expected it to run out so soon.

In the the form a uchiha yes, but not in the form of the least uchiha to have ever uchiha'd.

And it all happened because of eye contact, screw every single parent that told there kid to make eye contact

"..."

Uchiha shisui had activated his sharingan by accident, it was from a little girl that had sneaked up on him,one with purple eyes. how had a little girl sneaked up on him?

Out of instinct he had immediately thrown her into a genjutsu-he was quickly able to turn it into a much nicer one though when shisui saw it was a child. One that actually looked like a human sized porcelain doll actually, the eyes were the only thing that betrayed that.

"Oh crap! I'm gonna have to break her out, what is a 3 year old doing out here anyways.."

"I'm six" shisui nearly jumped in surprise, the three year old was talking and moving while stuck in a genjutsu.

“You're not six” out of curiosity he put the ‘six’ year old in a much stronger genjutsu, had he messed up the last one?

“I am six, I’m just not as tall as everybody else” the child sounded angry and walked closer to him-more like an angry march though. Shisui didn’t comment on that because he was too busy being confused.

Is this..child not being affected by a genjutsu? Thats super weird-oh she’s walking away.

Without a second thought, shisui used his super awesome ninja skills to pick up the girl like you would a feral cat and ran back to the uchiha compound.

“Itachi try to put her under a genjutsu!” shisui immediately demanded of his best friend, he held the girl up like the monkey did in the lion king.

“What?” itachi asked, confused, he felt bad for the girl instantly until he came upon her purple eyes. His sharingan activated.

Long story short it didn’t work, so they brought her to another uchiha then another and another till they got to the leader of the clan himself; fugaku.

“Shisui put that girl down” Mikoto immediately demanded, not because he clearly kidnapped this child-no that's completely normal for an uchiha(even encouraged) but because she looked sick, it definitely didn’t have anything to do with the fact that he paraded her around like a puppy.

“What's your name?” mikoto asked the girl, trying to help her recover from the motion sickness. The girl rubbed her eyes, not allowing mikoto to see them.

“Katsu Yagamichi” katsu said without fault, mikoto was about to say something else but then she saw katsu’s eyes for the first time, they’re…..purple.

In the background shisui was yapping about katsu to fugaku, being the sensible one mikoto asked katsu where her parents were.

She got the weirdest answer known to man.

“At the current moment in time..I don’t retain a biological mother and father” that…that answered nothing, where they dead? Where they not here?

“How do you feel about marrying my son?” fugaku said to Katsu out of nowhere, having dragged Sasuke over with him. “Being immune to genjutsu is a very valuable trait that would be awesome in our clan or and we really like purple”

Mikoto just stared, someone is sleeping on the couch tonight. Despite the absolute outrageous request her husband made no one in the entire uchiha clan expected katsu to say no, after all despite being just six years old sasuke still has all of the girls fawning over him, so much that no one pays any attention to the hokage’s son.

So what happened next was a shock.

Katsu went wide eyed like the calm before a storm and then screamed.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Katsu ran for the hills, running faster than she had ever done in her entire life.

All of the uchiha’s-uchiherds were shocked, did someone just reject sasuke!?

Meanwhile sasuke was thinking; ‘did someone just scream and run away at the thought of marrying me!? This has to be the work of naruto’ this really hurt his ego so naturally sasuke had to blame it on naruto.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Katsu didn’t stop running until she was on the other side of town, her worst fears just came true! The uchiha noticed she existed!!! And it’s all because they just found out she has a high tolerance to genjutsu! This is the worst-
“Wait..” high tolerance to genjutsu, that's…that's their greatest weapon. It’s what let those three uchiha manage to kidnap that random jonin when she was six months, if katsu can resist it then she has a huge advantage over them.

A huge advantage…over the uchiha…that’s…

Nice.

However…if they can’t use they’re biggest advantage over her then that means they’ll go for physical means..it’s really the only thing katsu isn’t good at..

Maybe a summoning animal would help her, before Katsu realized she was deep in the woods, unlodging some wood she brought out some scrolls Naruto had stolen for her.

‘Boar-dog-bird-monkey-ram’ were the hand signals for summoning jutsu, first she’d have to make a contract with one, that’ll take a lot of chakra.

Smiling deviously, Katsu remembered that she stole a bunch of chakra from the demon fox early. Injuring herself, Katsu used her blood to write a seal.

“Summoning jutsu!” at the age of six katsu summoned a phoenix-a purple one.

End chapter;

Here’s a little profile of Katsu for you just to know her better,

NAME: Katsu Yagamichi

EYE COLOR: purple

HAIR COLOR: brown, a little bit more to the lighter side

HAIR LENGTH: medium, just below her shoulders

HEIGHT: 6 years old: 91 cm(3 feet), 12 years old:121 cm(4 feet), 16 years old: 155cm (5 feet)

STRENGTHS: ninjutsu, genjutsu, Fuinjutsu, book smarts

WEAKNESSES: taijutsu, physical strength, exercise

LIKES: Naruto, learning, birds

DISLIKES: uchiha anything, clans, a lot a lot of people

TALENTS: all sorts of jutsu’s, accidentally rizzing people, accidentally pulling bitches, acting

PERSONALITY: cautious but not mean, has a hard time understanding people and their emotions that often leads to her doing out of pocket things(like unintentionally rizzing people), she has a driving passion for knowledge but is aware of the dangers of it leading her to not trust many people except for a select few. Has a very strong mind, so much she can resist most genjutsu’s, she hates exercise with a burning passion. There is nothing katsu values more than her freedom and is the reason as to why she doesn’t like the majority of clans.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Blood dripped from the most beautiful of lips, it slowly fell onto the ground, each drop that came down became a reminder of pain.

Pain that had yet to be foretold

“Do you have something else to say to me Madara Uchiha?” The girl's bloody lips finally moved, her tone of voice was filled with nothing but pure malice, it only made the long haired man snicker.

“I do, my dear Yagamichi…tell me how it is that you conquered the entire world,something that I've tried for so many years but still have failed” the girl frowned, looking quite pissed now.

“Because you descendants are fucking insane. They see one strong person and go after them like wolves. Their influence has spread all around the world. I have tried everything to avoid becoming the object of their attraction”

The sinister grin that came from madara irked the girl even more, “yes you did try everything, but yet you still failed…poor you”

“You're right, I did fail. Just like you failed to fuck my grandmother” at the epic comeback it became time for madara to be pissed, he grabbed the girl by the back of her hair and pulled her harshly towards him.

“Listen here, you little piece of shit! Your grandma may have been the only one to have ever escaped being collected but I swear to the gods above that I will not let you follow in her footsteps” unfazed by his harsh words the girl's purple eyes narrowed.

Fire began to sprout out from the blood that had fallen from her lips.

“Oh please, we both know in the end I’ll have victory, why do you think I was named Katsu?” a 24 year old katsu yagamichi smirked as the flames began to spread all over.

This world denied her the only thing she ever wanted so in turn she’ll burn it all down to the ground.

Perhaps she truly had become the most wicked woman in history.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Katsu should’ve known.

Known that children her age are going to act like children her age.

“I want to marry her!” yelled a blondie to all of the people around her who katsu instantly knew was Ino yamanaka from said yamanaka clan.

“NO I’m going to marry her!” yelled back a pinknette named sakura haruno. They were both now pulling on one of her hands so it felt like they were slowly ripping katsu apart

“Your both girls it's not allowed” shikamaru explained to the girls terror (they’re gonna have to take down the patriarchy and slay while doing it) “so i’ll marry her”

“WHAT!?”

“WHAT!?”

Oh gods, how did she get into this situation?

What happened is for the first time ever, Naruto convinced her to go to the park with him, katsu didn’t really do parks. You know-cause she’s an angsty 7 year old that tries her hardest to avoid every other living being.

Since no one had really ever seen her before, all the kids in the park were curious when they saw the brown haired girl at the side of the hokage’s son.

“Naruto what do I do?” Katsu asked when everyone was staring at her.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you do at the park?” Naruto looked surprised at her question until he remembered that his bestie is emotionally stunted and had never interacted with children her own age before.

“Let's go on the swings, can you push me?”

“Sure” katsu went right behind naruto and pushed him to the ground, everyone around them was shocked.

“NOT THAT KIND OF PUSHING! I MEANT ON THE SWING” he yelled out so everyone around them wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that katsu was bullying naruto.

“Oh, my bad. I’m sorry” since this was Naruto she was speaking too. Katsu was actually sorry and it showed in her face when she got sad.

Unknowingly to Katsu, with her doll-like features being sad made her look really cute, had she known she would have ran for her life.

It took katsu a little bit to learn how to push naruto on the swings without just kicking him off, her lack of physical strength was what helped her the most. Weird her one weakness actually helped katsu.

Katsu was actually enjoying it until the local bully came knocking on into the park. It didn’t matter if you were from a clan or not; you were getting bullied by this ugly-unlikeable genin that would never get anywhere in life.

Like normal Katsu ignored the ugly boy who ruthlessly bullied all the kids.

Or at least she did until he thought it was a good idea to come over here and try his chances at naruto.(did he seriously not know that naruto is the hokage’s son?)

“Hey blonde! Why don’t you and your brunette friend come over here so I can bully you two-”

“What are you looking at?” Katsu asked in a perfectly calm voice that creeped the bully out a lot, her purple eyes looking at him with utter fury, perhaps that's what scared him.

“Excuse me?”

“I said what are you looking at?” this time katsu was a lot more harsh.

“You better watch your mouth you little brat-” the bully attempted to grab Katsu by the collar but failed when she smacked his arms away. (how was she strong enough to do that?)

“Watch my mouth? You should watch yours, tell me are you blind or just stupid? This blonde behind me is the Hokage’s son” the horror seemed to set on the bullies face, feeling a sort of glee katsu continued on, proceeding to point at all the other kids he bullied. “And those people over there? The majority of them belong to major clans, clans that would gladly murder you if they found out about this”

That was enough for the bully so he ran away with his tail in his legs.

Instantly everyone at the park looked at katsu like she was their knight in shining armor and thought ‘oh my gods, she’s so cool and cute, I have to be close to her’

In turn, Katsu was thinking; ‘oh thank the gods that worked, using chakra to make my arms stronger was so brilliant but i’m so tired now. At least naruto is safe- wait why are they coming over here’

Because Katsu had used so much chakra to make her arms temporarily strong enough to slap that guy she was now tired, so much tired that she didn’t have the energy to come up with a plan to get out of this.

“You're so cool!”

“What's your name!?”

“Can I have your autograph”

Within an instant, Katsu was surrounded by children, all wanting to get closer to her.

In a dangerous situation katsu had always suspected she would have the flight reaction out of the three typical reactions; fight flight or freeze so when it turned out that she had the freeze reaction katsu wanted to kill herself.

“I-uh” katsu really really didn’t know what to do-she had frozen so she couldn’t even push them away, her face flustered for the second time but not for the reasons that it happened for the first time-she was embarrassed of herself for doing something stupid.

“Oh gods you're so cute” one of them with blond hair grabbed Katsu by the face, putting both of their hands on Katsu's cheek. “I want to marry her!” yelled the blondie to all of the people around her who katsu instantly knew was Ino yamanaka from said yamanaka clan.

“NO I’m going to marry her!” yelled back a pinknette named sakura haruno. They were both now pulling on one of her hands so it felt like they were slowly ripping katsu apart

“Your both girls it's not allowed” shikamaru explained to the girls terror (they’re gonna have to take down the patriarchy and slay while doing it) “so i’ll marry her”

“WHAT!?”

“WHAT!?”

What, that's complete bullshit. The uchiha get away with that all the time. Was what katsu wanted to say but didn’t want to help these girls marry her.

She side eyed naruto so hard thinking ‘please help me’ his expression said ‘i’m working on it’

“NARUTO UZUMAKI!” a voice yelled out from nowhere, everyone immediately parted out of fear or admiration for the man himself; sasuke uchiha.

‘Oh dear gods what does he want now?’ Katsu thought the only good news about his entrance is that she now has her personal space back.

Naruto looked both horrified and pissed at the same time, “what do you want?”

Sasuke took his time to march all the way over to katsu and naruto before answering, “because of you!” he suddenly pointed at Katsu, “She screamed and ran away at the mere thought of marrying me!”

“How is that my fault!?”

“She’s your friend. You must have told her some lies about me because no woman has ever not fallen in love with me before!”

At the current moment , Katsu was stuck thinking three things at once. ‘Are they gonna fight?’ ‘why does Sasuke have his head stuck up his ass?’ ‘If this bitch hurts Naruto I'm gonna kill him uchiha lineage be damned’ all ran through her head, confusing her brain and sounding like gibberish instead.

Three seconds was enough for katsu to conclude that they were going to fight, she really really hated having to do this, it’s a measure that makes her look weak thats reserved for uchiha’s only because they hate weak things.

Katsu burst out crying, making sure to be as loud as possible before running away, that should do it.

That did do it, it actually made everyone feel bad for her.
—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At 9 pm katsu sat down on a tree trunk in the usual place, rereading the summoning jutsu scroll. Katsu summoned her animal again.

It was a purple phoenix named shio who was originally flabbergasted when a very young child summoned her but by now she was used to it, shio simply came to terms that katsu was a prodigy and even took glee in it.

“Katsu” within an instant shio vanished into thin air, shio liked naruto but she didn’t like the fox inside of him.

“Yes?” with the tone of voice that naruto sprouted he most likely was going to give her bad news.

“Are you okay? You were crying earlier” oh that's surprising.

“Yeah, I just faked that earlier so Sasuke wouldn’t try to fight you anymore. The uchiha don’t like weak people so if I cried he wouldn’t attack you” katsu explained, “you have something else you want to tell me right?”

“Yeah…uhm well my parents had a talk with me last night, they’ve know that i’ve been sneaking out for years and they decided to ask me what i’ve been doing”

“So you told them about me?”

“I told them about you” Naruto looked very sad. “don’t worry I left out the details of how we were training together, I just said we’ve been playing at night because you're very antisocial. Please don’t be mad at me”

Had it been anyone else, Katsu probably would have been pissed but this is Naruto so she wasn’t, “it’s fine. I knew I would have to meet your parents eventually, You gave me the best situation possible to work with so thank you”

At the sight of his best friend not being mad at him, Naruto couldn’t help but jump in joy and hug her.

“I love you katsu!” he told her with a smile on his face.

Katsu blinked blankly for a moment before hugging him back. She actually liked his hugs unlike everyone else. “I..i love you too”

End chapter

Chapter Text

For a surprisingly long time Kushina had let Naruto get away with sneaking out every night. Minato himself didn't know why but he guessed it had something to do with how happy Naruto looked when he returned.

It kept him from getting into trouble, fights, and other shenanigans Naruto used to do. Truly whatever Naruto was doing was a blessing.

Minato never questioned it until he decided to begin training Naruto. When he tried to teach him how to walk on trees and water Minato found out that his son already knew how to do these things. And-and he was really good at them!? How!?

The only logical conclusion is that it had something to do with him sneaking out at night, when Naruto finally confessed that he had a friend Minato had assumed that said friend was probably a prodigy and super buff.

In the end only half of that was true. To say Minato was flabbergasted would be the understatement of the century.

The girl in front of him was tiny, had brown fluffy hair and weird purple eyes- those eyes seemed to peer into his soul and Minato would be lying if he said that he wasn't a little on edge from them.

First thought: she looked more like a human sized doll than a human.
—----------------------------------------------------------------

Katsu's first thought of kushina: wow she has really nice hair, I love how she can control her husband, I wish I had her eye color so the uchiha wouldn't bother me so much. It was full of positive things.

Her first thought about Minato, however, was very different: oh my god he looks like a loser- wait he's peering into me! Looking for any talent. Good luck loser my Chakra control is fucking amazing!

"Hello lord fourth, it's a pleasure to meet you" Katsu said while bowing respectfully, "my name is Katsu Yagamichi, your sons-"

"My bestie!!!" Naruto suddenly shouted, pretty much jumping on Katsu wrapping his arms around her, surprisingly Katsu didn’t flinch. That's a win for her.

“Uh-yeah we're besties”

“Awww, it’s so cute that Naruto finally made a friend, you know?” Kushina suddenly butt into the conversation-wow naruto is just like his mom.

“He’s my first friend too” katsu didn’t mean to blurt that out but she did, it must be a weird inherited trait to make katsu feel stupid at times.

“Really? Do you have a hard time talking to people too?”

“No I just don’t like them” and whenever people touch me it makes my skin feel like it's on fire, but katsu couldn’t say that, they’d think she had some sort of mental issue. “Naruto is really the only person I feel comfortable around” the best way to lie is to have some truth layered in it.

Kushina went quiet, probably feeling some sort of sympathy for katsu. That's good, sympathy is a powerful weapon.

“I believe you two are Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki? Lord fourth and the first lady?” When Kushina nodded, Katsu continued trying to figure out how the actual heck you greet someone properly. “Your son-naruto told me a lot about you, uh-also kudos on giving him your last name kushina uzumaki is a lot more cool sounding then Namikaze plus it stares with a letter of the alphabet that isn’t used as commonly as others so that makes it a more unique and sought after last name”

Naruto was looking at Katsu, she was betraying their plan to not make her look smart, but if he said anything that too would also betray their plan. His mother didn’t seem to notice as she’d taken a direct liking to katsu.

His dad on the other hand…

What was his dad doing? Minato was just standing there looking oddly confused, maybe because Katsu just dissed his last name?

“I hope you don’t mind katsu, but we're having ramen tonight as it’s Naruto's favorite,” Kushina told katsu.

“It's okay, Naruto makes me eat ramen all the time, I’m not that hungry so could you give me a smaller bowl? Please”

During dinner Katsu ate her ramen thinking that the plan to convince the two of them that she wasn’t a prodigy was going well, or at least she thought until minato decided to open his stupid mouth.

“So katsu, i’ve come to notice that my son is doing rather well for his age, since you hang out so much I've been wondering if you had something to do with it?”

Fuck.

Katsu went into panic mode- which to the outside eye just looked like she was blank-headed.

Gaslight him?- no that's too ineffective due to his older state of mind.

Tell a lie? What lie is there to tell, a simple no would be too obvious and since this guy is the Hokage he'll probably find out the truth in the end.

Unless…..

Alright Katsu has to guilt-trip the heck out of this guy.

“Do you not think your son is great?” One thing Katsu found useful so many times is her great acting skills. Being able to put emotions into her voice was what amplified her status as a good actor.

“Excuse me?” he took the bait

“Do you not think your son is a great Shinobi on his own!? That he needs someone else to help him? That there is no way he could be a prodigy because he's blonde!?” the crocodile tears that fell down her face made Katsu internally cringe, ‘its for the act, it's for the act’ repeated in her head

“Wait no!- I don't think that! Uh kushina! Help me?” Kushina just stared at her husband and gave him a look that said ‘you dug yourself into a whole you gotta climb your way out yourself’

“So it's true” in false devastation Katsu Sat up from the table, grabbing naruto's hand she dragged her way to the closing act, “come on Naruto, let's go find people who will actually appreciate you”

“But I haven't finished my ramen-” one glare from Katsu shut him up.

Together they left, it wasn’t until they were a good distance from Naruto's house that they looked at each other and laughed.

“Haha-you made my dad look so embarrassed- he was blushing for the first time ever!”

“I know right? I think that went well, I already love your mom she reminds me so much of you”

“Really!?” Naruto had stars in his eyes, apparently the thought of being compared to his mom was a positive one.

“Yep,” Katsu genuinely smiled when she answered him. It was getting a bit darker out and there weren't as many people out and about anymore so it was safe to be happy.

Walking across the fields and into the playground Naruto suddenly stopped her.

“Uh katsu, before the day ends I really just wanted to say something” naruto reached into his pocket and pulled something out, is that…a present?

“Happy birthday” he said, how..how did he know this?

“How did you find this out”

“I snuck into my dads office, got the keys to civilian file rooms, and read yours”

“...” katsu didn’t think naruto would actually learn from all the stuff she's made him do, teaching a child how to break into a highly protected security system may have drawbacks in the future that katsu didn’t think about. Oh well, that’ll be someone else's problem.

The box was tiny but not so tiny that it could only fit a simple piece of jewelry.

“I know you don’t like expensive and flashy things so I made this one myself, I hope you like it”

If it was from naruto she probably would like it, katsu opened it and the box revealed it to be…a purple hair tie?

“It’s a scrunchie” somehow naruto also knew what she was thinking.

“A scrunchie?” Katsu looked at Naruto confused.

“You always complain about how your hair gets in your face so I thought it’d make you happy…” oh, Naruto thought she didn’t like the gift.

Trying to fix the situation, Katsu immediately put her hair up with the scrunchie into a half up ponytail and stared at herself using a puddle as a mirror.

“It’s perfect” katsu announced to no one but herself, it took the greatest blockage to seeing enemies away, it was nice and simple, and the best part of it was the fact that certain people(uchiha cough cough) would no longer try to put anything in her hair.

“It is?” The hope in his voice was a bit threatening.

“Yes I love it-” predictably naruto ran up to katsu-it wasn’t that far of a run but he still did it and hugged her tightly.

“That's good you know! Happy birthday you know!” oh there's his habit again, it's not annoying but a little weird.

“I know, thank you..also naruto?”

“Hm?” he hummed happily.

“Don’t go looking through my file again, sneaking around is my thing”

“Okay!”

What a great night.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What a horrible night.

“Ugh” katsu knew she was being too loud, shio was especially eager to train tonight, mostly due to the abundance of chakra katsu stole from the 9 tails again.

“Boss I think that's the hokage, '' Shio said while perching her rather large fiery-purple body on Katsu's rather short shoulder.

“I know shio”
“Isn’t that the guy you lied too earlier boss?”

“Yes it is”

“What are you demands” Katsu suddenly asked minato, the man who had heard her very loud explosion of purple fire and decided to investigate. Had it been anyone else, Katsu would’ve been able to sense them and run away but this guy is so fast that she had no time to prepare.

“Demands?” minato was taken aback by Katsu's question.

“You're going to demand something, hand me over to one of the clans to keep me like a glorified pet? Or are you going to execute me because I could be a threat to the village, make me join the anbu because i'm a prodigy-” looking back katsu will admit that she was being a bit too hasty but she’d panicked upon being caught by the fucking hokage of all people

“I’m not going to make you do that-I just-how did you get the 9 tails chakra that easily?”

Katsu tilted her head, “you want to know…how I did it?”

“Yes”

Katsu then spent the next 30 minutes explaining her own method of taking the chakra, by the end of it she had convinced herself that she had successfully made the hokage forget what happened.

Shio decided to make peace out as she got bored of learning easily. Minato was a bit more like Naruto then Katsu had initially thought, she still thought he was a loser but he was now .5 percent less of a loser.

“Katsu?”

“What”

“Why are you spending so much time learning ninja techniques if you don’t want to become a ninja?”

“...fuck you”

“My wife does that, I just genuinely want to know why”

“Because I want to know everything, I like learning a lot. If i’m not learning then I get driven insane And if i’m smart but weak then the clans will get me”

“Get you?”
“Don’t fake innocence-I’ve heard of the great kidnapping. Where mikoto and fugaku uchiha kidnapped you and kushina for several months, everyone just laughed because apparently that's some sort of weird wedding ritual- that one hyuuga girl keeps stalking naruto, you're not allowed to disrespect food and insects lest you want to die. The yamanaka keep getting inside your head with no permission whatsoever! And the Nara look at you like your a fucking puzzle that needs to be solved-”

“Okay I get it!” minato was very taken aback by just how much Katsu actually knows about all the clans, upon realizing he just yelled at a child, Minato instantly regretted it. “L-look I’m sorry, it’s just-well-getting kidnapped by the uchiha isn’t that bad-like its just 3 months of paid vacation-”

“By the most possessive beings to ever walk on earth”

“Possessive isn’t the way to describe them..” minato lied, that is absolutely the best way to describe them.

“They kidnap people against their will, you don’t find that weird?”

Sighing minato gave up, this child was a thousand times smarter than what he can handle. He decided to go a different route.

“Let me tell you what; i’ll make you a deal katsu”

“Hm?”

“Enter the academy and become a ninja-”

“NO!-” to shut katsu up minato pushed his hand onto her mouth

“You didn’t let me finish, become a ninja- you don’t have to be a great ninja, in fact if you want to be the worst ninja that is fine. But if you become a ninja and practice very advanced jutsu’s then you’ll become a great asset, i’m not telling you to show your abilities outright for everyone to see but I need someone to be able to work in the shadows and really surprise enemies” katsu decided to spit out some fire which successfully got minato’s hand off her face-minato did not want to get his hand burnt.

“What’s in it for me?” despite his words being filled with a couple of pros it had yet to be convincing enough for katsu to take it

“I’ll protect you from the clans” ohhhhh, that's kind of tempting.

“All of them?”

“All of them”

“And if I refuse?” testing the barriers was always a great idea.

“Nothing, but you should note that the clans are going to find out eventually, I'm honestly surprised you’ve managed to last this long, they’re going to get you sooner or later-especially the uchiha so wouldn’t it be better to have the protection of a kage?”

Nevermind, Katsu was back to hating this guy again. She hated him because she knew he was right, they are going to find out one day and that will be her last, the uchiha already seem pretty interested in katsu because of eye color so back up would be nice….

“UGH FINE!” katsu yelled out like every frustrated teenager would despite being 8 now, “i’ll join your stupid fucking military dictatorship”

End chapter

Chapter Text

Chapter 5.

“What happened to not being a ninja?” Naruto asked Katsu who had her face on the table.

“I don't want to talk about it” she sulked, her voice a little muffled from the fact that her mouth was on the table.

“Okay……”

Naruto waited five seconds, it was that long before Katsu's brain forced her to spill the beans.

“Your stupid dad made me do this, wants me to be a good ninja in the shadows”

“Okay, well at least we’ll be able to graduate together then?”

“Whatever makes you happy naruto” they have like five years of ninja academy before they graduate, katsu had planned to fail graduation a couple times so she could seem like a normal civilian but if naruto wanted it then she guesses she’ll have to pass the first time.

Katsu tried her absolute best to ignore what was going on around her, they were yelling about something to do with seating arrangements, each table had enough for three people to sit in and there is an odd number of students in the room so someone will be sitting with just one other person, naturally katsu assumed that would be her and naruto.

She was wrong, because apparently everyone wanted to sit next to her.

‘What is wrong with these people?’ Katsu thought as everyone started to fight.

“I want to sit next to her!”

“Well I saw her first!”

“I breathed the same air as her first!”

‘huh’ Katsu Sat up to stare at the display, “what are they doing?” She asked Naruto quietly, very confused.

“They want to sit next to you,” Naruto answered his oblivious friend, a little bit scared of all the people fighting.

“Why?”

Naruto didn't answer, he started silent out of fear for Katsu, she was really going to hate the answer that people genuinely want to be around her. That one incident in the park left a lasting impression on people, especially since said people were at that age where they're obsessed with fairy tales.

For Katsu naruto's silence was like the purge alarm. It freaked her out at the possibility of children-clan children wanting to sit next to her. That leads to friendship-which then leads to crushes which leads to kidnapping!?-

Naruto nearly jumped when Katsu suddenly got up abruptly with an intense force, then started marching down to the other end of class with utter fury.

It kind of looked like an angry brown-purple Chihuahua was prancing evilly.

“Sakura” she said standing right next to the pink haired girl, “do you want to sit with me?”

The prettiest girl in class asking Sakura to sit with her? Fuck yeah sakura was going to say yes to that.

So that's how katsu ended up between her best friend and the non-clan girl with pink hair. It was a tactical disadvantage point but served as a way to avoid any social interaction with people that katsu did not want to talk to.

As to the reason katsu decided to choose sakura, it was for the very fact that the pinkette was not a clan kid. Meaning she didn’t have crazy injected into her veins,Katsu also had plans for the little Haruno.

Excluding herself there were only 2 non-clan kids in the classroom. The male one was of no importance because he looked stupid but sakura has potential to become great.

Katsu really needs a prodigy right now because it’ll help her not stand out, if someone else takes the spotlight then there’s no threat of being noticed.

“Hey sakura, are you perhaps into medical ninjutsu?” that caught sakura off guard, she nearly jumped because of it, it might have been an overreaction but who can blame her? That's a really weird way to start a conversation.

“I-i’ve never thought about it, it’s uh-healing people with your…chakra right?” of heck yeah, sakura knew what chakra was! That was great.

“Yes, your very smart sakura. Beauty and the brains seem to serve you well-” before katsu could finish her sentence sakura’s face suddenly went as pink as her hair and then sat up, quickly excused herself to the teacher, and ran away.

What the…why did sakura do that? Was Katsu being mean to her? All katsu was trying to do was getting sakura initiated into something she’d probably be good at so she can become a prodigy and people won’t notice katsu!

“What did I do wrong?” Katsu whispered to herself so quietly only Naruto could hear it.

Naruto knew what she did ‘wrong’ but he’d made the smart decision of not talking today.

Katsu was going to have to go for other methods. Obtaining what's needed to get those other methods was going to be hard.
—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there was any uchiha Katsu hated the least it was shisui.

Or at least she thought she did. He may not have be stubborn like the rest of the uchiha’s but boy was he sure annoying.

The annoyingness he sprouted often made Katsu forget the fact that he was an uchiha.

Walking upon the usual bridenapping katsu deadpanned at shisui helping them.

“What are you doing?” she asked, blankly looking at the poor future bride on the floor.

“Helping my friend get a malewife, what’s up? Do you need something?”

“Is your clan head still set on me marrying sasuke?” Katsu asked, blankly staring more.

“No, when you ran away screaming I think that really got the message into his head” shisui then passed the kidnapped bride to someone else-presumably the groom. “Sasuke on the other hand is devastated and it keeps getting worse”

“Worse?”

“Oh you know the usual, falling into depression, the anger stage, trying to douse himself in other girls even though he’s seven. Stuff like that”

“Why does he care so much? We made eye contact like once”

“Because of your eyes” why why why why does every conversation about herself with the uchiha lead back to her eyes.

“What do you guys have with the color purple!?” the anger sat in and shisui with his uchiha muddled brain only saw a slightly angry kitten

“I’m not telling you!” the mischief in shisui’s eyes almost had katsu burning down the house next to them, she managed to stop her chakra from forming before it actually left her body. He was about to say something else, something that was probably going to lead Katsu to do something she didn’t like.

“Buttttt, i’ll tell you if you do a little favor for me” there it is, the I want something, what does he want?

“What”

Shisui put his right arm over Katsu's shoulder and got really close like he was about to tell a secret. “Well you see…poor sasuke’s depression is all about you, my overprotective cousin itachi came to the conclusion that the only way to cheer him up would be if you became friends with him, he might force you too so I figured i’d take the initiative and be the good cop”

“You want me to be friends with him in exchange for knowing why your clan is obsessed with purple?” The boredom and disdain in Katsu's voice actually made shisui feel like he was talking to a 50 year old instead of a 7 year old.

“Hn!”

Well, they don’t have to hang out at the uchiha compound. And katsu can have a direct way to show off other people to sasuke who will probably tell the other members of his clan of their great talents. Ergo less attention for her…also katsu could get something done with this…

“I’ll become friends with sasuke if you get me something”

“What's that?”

“50 grand in cash(5,729,800.00 yen) every month for the next year”
End chapter.

Author's note: thank you for the wait! I really appreciate your guy’s comments and I can’t wait to see more. Summer is fast approaching so I think it’s appropriate that Katsu gets her hands on some money that she may or may not use for evil purposes.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6
With the newfound money katsu stole-got from the stupid uchiha she proceeded to secretly buy medical ninjutsu books and scrolls from the konoha black market then tip off the ninja’s that konoha had a black market to seal off her tracks.

Under normal circumstances Katsu would’ve just borrowed medical scrolls from naruto but she needed to give these to sakura secretly and not take them back.

Sneaking these into sakura’s locker were easy, as long as katsu signed them with ‘your secret admirer’ then sakura would accept them, katsu figured out that sakura was reading them when she sat down and actually asked katsu for help with medical ninjutsu.

The best part about it was that katsu was also teaching herself the ninjutsu at the same time, it’s very important on the battlefield and could mean the difference between life or death, anddddddddd if she ever needs to fake her death to avoid getting bridenapped by a certain clan…(uchiha cough cough) it’ll save her.

Katsu also felt great over the fact that some nurses and doctors at the hospital started to notice Sakura, meaning she didn’t have to be seen helping the pinkette any more.

Though with all the money she was getting it was now time to pay her dues.

Kicking a ball katsu was happy that it didn’t go far, if there was anything she’s ever practiced with the most it infusing her limbs with chakra as she had a major battle disadvantage due to her size so now whenever she did something it was a lot more powerful than it should be, so she’d been working on making her kicks weaker again.

“That was lame” sasuke told her from 30 meters away, he was writing something on a scroll not even staring at her.

“Thanks” Katsu deadpanned at him, being friends with this guy was awful. With Naruto he was always open to doing anything-like sneaking into government buildings for her since he can get away with it due to the fact he’s the hokage’s son.

This guy however was lame and apparently didn’t like her anymore.

It was those stupid uchiha genes, made him stubborn, those assholes only want you when you're not there.

Walking up to Sasuke, Katsu was prepared to make fun of him as a sort of revenge but then she realized that he was doing math.

And fucking sucking at it too.

He had written down that 3 x 32 was 79 but in fact it was 96, aw the pain! Katsu learned this when she was 3.

“That’s not how you do it” Katsu couldn’t help but blurt that out, the improperly done math was making her want to cry.

An offended “huh?” hit katsu’s ears, internally sighing she mentally cursed herself. But math like this was too much for her to handle so she sat down next to sasuke and reached her hand out.

“May I” she referred to the pencil he was holding. Sasuke didn’t know why but he handed the pencil over to the brown haired girl with a half up ponytail, why did she always wear that weird hair tie all the time anyways? She’d look better with a hairpin that was red or black.

Sasuke was quickly brought back to reality when he heard Katsu talk about math, he managed to listen for about 10 seconds before returning to the normal uchiha thoughts.

Her hands were small because she was seven just like him but they drew math with such accuracy that made sasuke wonder-could she kill someone with those hands, her writing was so freaking neat that she could get a clear shot on anything, would she use those hands to bath in the blood of her enemies and massage it into her skin. Oh gods that would be so cool, sasuke wants to see those hands kill, if she could kill him with those hands he would die happy.

“Hey sasuke it’s time for dinner!” Katsu has never been more happy to see itachi in her life, she was trying to explain math to his little brother but for some reason sasuke was just staring at her with a face of mixed blankness and admiration. It pissed her off that he was ignoring the math.

Katsu quickly got up, preparing to get the heck out of here but she was stopped by sasuke holding onto her arm.

“Could you..could you please teach me more about math sometime?” he asked with hopeful eyes, what the?… what?

“Sure” she mumbled, knowing that was the only way he was going to let her go.

The only good part of that day was that it brought something to her attention.

These guys are fucking stupid.
—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Katsu now had a new very urgent problem, one that was threatening her entire plans of not getting noticed.

Everyone was so fucking stupid and behind.

They were not going to graduate when they all reached 12 years old at this rate, if that happens then katsu would have to fail on purpose to not seem out of place. It wasn’t that part that irritated her, it was the fact that she would then be betraying Naruto, he wanted to graduate with her and she couldn’t do that if all of these stupid people didn’t either.

Katsu could never do that to naruto.

So she ended up having to try and get the class to catch up. Which is difficult since it’s 95% clan kids and what she’s trying to avoid.

Naruto’s more important though so against katsu’s better judgment she made a plan to make everyone not stupid-well for a 7-8 year old kind of not stupid, if katsu made them too smart then people might get suspicious and investigate.

The easiest way to make people get motivated to learn while hiding her tracks is to attack the Ino-Shika-Cho alliance.

Starting with shikamaru katsu went to him when he was alone,her eyes were almost shedding tears, like she had gathered all her courage to even breathe the same air as him, “sh-shikamaru..could you please help me with this school work, i can’t understand it-”

“No. don’t you do fine in school?” for a guy that once said he was gonna marry her he was sure rude, probably forgot about the whole thing when his father told him no. Instantly Katsu's sad expression went to a blank one, well that wasn’t going to work, plan B it is then.

“Ohhhh, such a shame. I had heard you Nara’s were the smartest people in the world-that you even forced other smart people to marry into your clan to maintain it. So I thought you’d be able to answer just one. Tiny. page. Of. math." Katsu made sure to tilt her head with extra sassiness.

“I can do that math, I can do that math 10 times faster than everyone else in the room” there it is, what katsu was looking for. Motivation.

“I don’t believe you can, after all you're just refusing to help your poor stupid classmate with this and since your from a honorable noble clan who like to help people the only logical explanation is that you just can’t do it-” shikamaru ripped the piece of paper out of her hand and began furiously writing on it, slowly coming to the conclusion that he in fact was behind.

Bingo.
—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For choji katsu didn’t really have to do anything as whatever shikamaru does he drags that little tyke with him. Giving him some rare junk food as a bribe also did the trick to getting him to study.

Convincing Ino was a whole other story.

When Katsu went up to blonde, she didn’t even have the chance to even speak before Ino picked her up and ran away.

Does that count as kidnapping? Being a child under the age of 12 means that ino can’t be charged with an adult sentence so katsu guesses no.

Loophole that the uchiha should never find out.

Ino ended up kidnapping-taking Katsu to her house, completely ignoring whatever Katsu did to not go in there, and that’s how Katsu found herself inside of Ino Yamanaka’s room. The entitlement to get whoever they want is a trait found inside of all the clans, the uchiha just suck at hiding it the most is what katsu learned today.

“I think this dress would be perfect on you”

“Ino..”

“Oh- and you’d look great with purple makeup to match your eyes”

“Ino, please..”

“Aw! This headband would look so great in your hair-” all right that’s it, no one touches katsu’s hair.

“INO!” that caused the blondie to stop in her tracks, when katsu saw the look of fear on ino’s face she faked sadness to get the blonde back on her side.

“I-i just wanted your help with some work because I thought you’d be good at it- and I-i I don’t like people touching my hair” perfect, that was a perfect performance.

The fear on ino’s face turned to sympathy, “oh-I thought you wanted to hang out with me”

Fuck, what does katsu say to that. Option 1 is to say yes I did want to hang out with you and risk having to be friends with ino which is annoying but the other option; option 2 is to say no, hurt her feelings and get on her dads bad side which will make katsu’s life a living hell. It’s not hard to tell which option has the bigger consequences.

Though on the other hand, no one else is here at ino’s house and she might not tell her dad if katsu says no-

The sound of a door opening hit Katsu's ears, the footsteps were heavy indicating someone of a more bulky size. Katsu doesn’t want to take her chances that he isn’t Ino's father.

“I do want to be friends with you, I just don’t like being touched” katsu finally blurted out, fuck doors; next to the uchiha doors are her greatest enemy. “And I really have to go, I promised naruto I would hang out with him”

Ino followed her to the door, a customary way of ending your hang out time, before katsu could escape. Ino's dad stopped them.

“Who is this?” Inoichi Yamanaka asked ino.

“This is my friend Katsu Yagamichi from school, I told you about her, remember?” Katsu stared at ino’s dad and ino’s dad stared back.

There was a weird tingling feeling in the back of Katsu's head and she hated it, meanwhile Ino was wondering why her friend and dad were locked in a staring contest.

Finally after 30 seconds of staring(glaring) inoichi gave up and blinked, for whatever reason he found whatever was happening funny because he chuckled a bit and ruffled katsu’s hair with his hand. “What a strong-minded friend you have here ino, perhaps you should bring them over more often”

Oh that fucker, that motherfucking thing tried to go into katsu’s mind, if he wasn’t a jonin and a father katsu would tried to burn him alive. The hatred was so strong her chakra was threatening to move.

Now that it was her chance katsu pretty much ran out of that house, only feeling any sort of relief when she walked past the gates, there was still one overarching problem though.

The moment she was out of the public and deep into the woods, Katsu reached onto the back of her neck, grabbing onto a part of it and trying to pull it off.

Inoichi Yamanaka had put a fucking tracking seal on her, it was hidden so well that the paper felt like human skin and clung to katsu’s neck so tightly that it started to bleed when she finally got it off.

Letting it fall down, Katsu noticed that the seal itself had a bit of her own blood on it, she started to make the hand symbols for some fire only for her chakra to flare without her consent and the seal burst into flames.

What?

What was that, katsu kneeled down to the remnants of the fire and discovered some of her leftover chakra-how-why?

Did her blood do that?

End chapter.
Author's Note:I find it funny that nobody in the comment section is ever freaking out over the fact that Katsu is like 7 and swears a lot, they just immediately accepted that she is a crazily intelligent toddler that freaks out a lot. Also fun fact I write on google docs first because ao3 does not have the greatest saving system and in my docs this is titled simply as ‘clans’