Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Hierarchy of Splatsville is a system that fixes the problems in turf battles of all kinds.

The Hierarchy of Splatsville is a system that is good for keeping order in the public.

The Hierarchy of Splatsville is a system that lets the best eight win.

They are the heart of Splatsville. They are Splatsville, really. It was a system created for good, and all it has done is good. What else could it do? The best of the best were in charge! All of them have good intentions.

…

Stephanie thought of it over and over and over. It was just stupid text written on a stupid sign about a stupid group. That she was in, for some reason. Why her? She looked at everyone else she had been paired with without her knowledge:

THE BEST EIGHT HIERARCHY:

8th: Stephanie (3,001 points)

7th: YARRwhal (3,132 points)

6th: kAyOSs (3,350 points)

5th: c4l4m4r (4,566 points)

4th: TakoTruck (6,040 points)

3rd: AnemoneNo1 (9,045 points)

2nd: Hirooooo (15,057 points)

1st: VeronIKA (16,333 points)

“Who the hell are these people?” Stephanie scratched her head (well, helmet) in confusion. “And what’s with this silly ‘hierarchy’? Can I quit…?”

It being posted on a silly sign didn’t help. Well, maybe it wouldn’t be as silly as it looked if she read the fine print. Though, she chose to ignore it for now and just play some turf games. All she wanted was to have some fun with ink sports, not look at these pointless signs put up by dumb kids. How did they know her username, anyway? And– what was with the expensive looking cardboard?

Stephanie paused her steps, moments away from asking Marigold to let her join a game. Her head slowly turned back to glance at that sign– that tacky sign. Made of… wood? Maybe it was important. Who would know a rando like her, anyway? And what was with the points? She walked toward the sign, squinting at it. Mainly in suspicion– though she did need an updated glasses prescription, too.

The Best Eight are the group of Splatlandians that are the best turf warriors! They keep the bad folks in check and win the most games. They also have the ability to put black labels on weapons– so, watch out for them if you’re thinking about playing dirty! We fix the problems of Splatsville, keep order, and let the best of the best shine and have the power they deserve!

You can earn points by being a good teammate.

Stephanie stared at those words for a long time. They explained everything, but also explained nothing. It answered one question and left the door open for a dozen more. It was the worst sign ever made to advertise something, no doubt about it.

“Not even a phone number I could contact to tell ‘em to take my name off, damn,” Stephanie sighed, “guess I’ll have to tell one of them myself. Or, maybe they’re looking for me…”

They probably were. She hasn’t even seen a black label, let alone given any. Maybe the person above her could help her out? This was all pretty confusing going in alone, maybe some insight could help? Unless he was new, too. He didn’t seem new, though…

Stephanie walked over to the lockerroom, putting away her Sloshing Machine back into its case.

“I just need to find him, then ask him.” She told herself.

She didn’t lie to herself that this couldn’t go wrong, though. Things commonly go wrong. She had hope that things could be right about the guy, the system– the everything she just learned about. This was going to be bad– but it can’t be that bad, right? She could only hope and dream and pray. Or, change things, maybe. If she even had that power.

She was apart of this after all, despite being the weakest. Maybe she could get stronger and have a place in this “hierarchy.” It reminded her of rulers of the past coming together in parties assembled rather than electing a single leader. Splatsville didn’t have either– Though, I guess it had the former now. Or maybe something was corrupt, and there was the illusion of order, but the truth was some kind of chaos that only hurt the community? Only time could tell for that– Or, this YARRwhal guy could.

Stephanie strolled up to the staff member manning the Crab-N-Go station in the lobby, placing her splashtag on the counter. She slid it forward like it was some cash.

“Does this give me power?” Stephanie asked.

The staff goldfish shot her a weird look before putting on their usual customer service smile. “No, not really. Though, if you need help changing anything on it, I’ll be able to help you out!”

Putting the splashtag back in her pocket, Stephanie groaned.

“I just want to know who the Best Eight are and why I’m in it! I thought I’d have power, or something… they worded it like I ruled the world.”

“Oh! You mean that group of kiddos? I could send one a message so you guys can host a little meet-up!”

“She’s not taking this seriously” Stephanie thought. Though, this was useful to her.

“Can you contact ‘YARRwhal?’” Stephanie asked.

The staff smiled. “Sure! Do you want to send a friend request as well?”

“Sure.” Stephanie mumbled out. “I’ll just unfriend him later…”

“Alright! It’s sent out. We’ll send a text to the phone number linked to your turf battling account when they get here–”

“Understood!” Stephanie interrupted, slipping a couple coins onto the counter.

Before the staff could give them back, Stephanie hurried off to hide in the lockerroom to think more. It plagued her mind as she prepped a cup of ramen noodles to scarf down before her encounter with this mystery guy. What would he even be like…?

She poured boiling water into the ramen cup, put in some spices (stashed in her locker for safe-keeping), then stared at it as it cooked. She read the text and the warnings and the everything on it over and over and over until her eyes hurt from trying to read small text. Was the hierarchy against their members eating cheap food? She’d leave due to that alone. Though, something else was going on, clearly. This type of system can’t just pop up out of nowhere, could it? It didn’t help that she was pretty new to this area of Splatsville. She moved in, what, a month ago? She couldn’t remember– she had been having a lot of fun with the atmosphere of the battlers around her.

Well, until now.

Stephanie decided to finally eat her ramen. “I’m stressing about this way too much.” She thought. “They don’t even know who I am.”

“Oh, it’s you.” A voice called out, seemingly directed at her.

Stephanie’s attention jolted toward the entrance to the lockerroom. The guy’s splashtag was clearly plastered on his chest armor: YARRwhal.

“...They might know who I am.”

“And, who is that?” Stephanie replied.

Yarrwhal scoffed. “The newest member of The Great Eight? Duh. You took over the last guy– he didn’t even try to contact us! And, look, you’re getting to know me of all people! Wowzers.”

“What did the last guy do..?”

“Took Kay’s style,” Yarrwhal scoffed, “he ran away the moment we realized! Well, the moment I did, heh. I’m not that slow, though! Only took, uh… a couple months? I think…”

“This guy is a loser” Was all Stephanie could think.

Yarrwhal sat next to her suddenly. “Anyway– aren’t you excited? You’re up in the big leagues, Steph!”

“Not really,” Stephanie shoved some noodles into her mouth with a cheap plastic fork, “this isn’t the first pyramid scheme I’ve seen.”

Yarrwhal looked offended. “What? This isn’t about money!”

“Is it about investing in an imaginary force meant to discipline the public?”

“I– Yes? That’s not the best way to put it, but–”

Stephanie raised an eyebrow. “So it is like a pyramid scheme?”

Yarrwhal just looked at her. All that was discernible was his body language and the lower half of his face– and those were just still. “I really wish I could see his expression underneath those stupid goggles he has on…” Stephanie thought to herself.

Though, his leg tapped the ground, seemingly to get rid of some energy he had. He probably wanted to meet her– and he was the lowest on the silly ranking they had, aside from herself. Maybe he’s been desperate for something like this for a long time. Was kindness that rare…?

“Now I’m just making shit up– I should talk to this guy”

She placed a hand on his shoulder, which caused him to jump a little.

“Look– I’m not targeting you. I bet you’re a nice guy. I’m targeting whatever the hell this whole… thing is. Those black labels especially… seems a bit dangerous for an issue that’s never popped up.”

Yarrwhal gave her a nervous smile. “Well– that’s because the hierarchy handles it! We put black labels on cheaters, scammers, throwers– no one else.”

“That is pretty noble…”

Stephanie sighed, finishing off her ramen and setting it down on the table.

“Fine, I’ll play your game. Until it falls apart– and you realize it’s just some fancy pyramid scheme.”

She held out her hand for a handshake. Yarrwhal’s smile perked up into something more genuine as he accepted, shaking her hand vigorously.

“Deal! Though, it’s not–”

Stephanie pulled Yarrwhal close to her to get some leverage. He looked up at her with shock.

“You still gotta show me the ropes though, alright? I don’t know a thing, and I’m gonna learn it from you. ‘Cause we’re the little guys in the bigger game here– you stick with me, I stick with you, and we’ll be able to have a greater chance to climb through this mess.”

“Just like pawns in a game of chess.”

Chapter Text

“You just want to know what a black label is?”

Stephanie nodded at the question. “Yep. That’s it– for now.”

Yarrwhal cautiously glanced at her before rummaging through his pocket. “Does he think I’m crazy…?” He clumsily pulled a label out of his pocket, simply placing it in her hand. It had a simplistic design on it– a squid crossed out, surrounded by a red circle for a border.

Stephanie clicked her tongue. “Looks a bit… childish.”

Yarrwhal snatched the label from her. “It’s not childish! It’s cool. And it can do this.”

Yarrwhal slapped the label onto the wall closest to them. He proudly stood by it, waiting for Stephanie’s reaction. She was waiting for him to elaborate on this. They shared a long moment of silence.

“That’s it?”

Yarrwhal’s smile fell to a frown. “Well– uh– try to get it off.”

“Can’t be that hard.”

Stephanie tried to peel the label off the wall, though it wouldn’t budge. It caught her off guard– these things looked really low quality. She tried to scrape it off the wall with her previously abandoned fork, but it didn’t do anything. Frustration started to take her over, and she tried to just scratch it. Despite slamming the fork onto it multiple times, it looked as spotless as before. She blinked once, then twice, then thrice…

“What. The. Fuck?”

Stephanie hysterically laughed. Yarrwhal had a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Not ‘that hard,’ huh?”

“I could punch him right now.” Stephanie thought to herself, rage boiling in her mind. “I really could.”

Stephanie crossed her arms. “Will I lose points for giving you a knuckle sandwich?”

“Um, I think so–” Yarrwhal raised up his hands in defense for a moment, “–But, there’s no shame in being wrong! If the others don’t know.”

Stephanie raised an eyebrow. “Huh? I’ll get docked points for not knowing stuff? But I just joined!”

“You’ve been a member for a week, though?”

“I’ve been what?”

“You… didn’t know? But I thought everyone got searched out by Veronika…?”

“She’s the leader?” “No? You might just be special, bud. Or, being tricked into thinking you are. Pyramid scheme, remember–?”

Yarrwhal snapped. He stepped toward Stephanie, pushing his finger against her chest.

“For the last time, this isn’t a pyramid scheme! This is something that’s supposed to help everyone.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes. “Alright, alright, we’re the turf war cops or whatever. We slap a label on their face and tell ‘em to go home– so what?”

Yarrwhal sighed, stepping back from her.

“It’s not that. We put the labels on weapons to disable them.”

Steph blinked once, then twice, then–

“Wait, so,” she started, “people act up, then we prevent them from ever turfing again? Or, force them to buy a new weapon.”

Yarrwhal nodded. “Yep! Keeps the baddies in check.”

“Please never word it like that again.”

Aside from the… poor wording, Stephanie thought about the explanation. Looking for people that break the rules and basically locking them up from turf battles by making their weapons useless… Stephanie's eyes lit up in realization.

“So we are cops–”

“No.”

Stephanie mumbled a couple complaints before cleaning up her meal. She threw the cup of noodles and the fork in the trash and made her way to her locker.

Yarrwhal looked at her a bit panicked and rushed after her. “Wait! Aren’t we gonna, uh… hang out or something?”

Stephanie looked at him a bit confused. “No? I just needed to know what the hell was going on with this ‘Best Eight’ group I want no apart of. Can you tell the leader– Veronika, or whatever– that I want to quit?”

Yarrwhal gasped at her. “You can’t just quit! Especially when we just met…”

Stephanie leaned her back up against her locker, crossing her arms. “Why not?”

Yarrwhal stuttered out a couple noises attempting to be words. He made odd hand movements trying to work through what he was going to say. “He’s dumb and bad at communication… how has he lived up to this point?”

“I– I don’t know, but, Veronika probably won’t be very happy with you. And she’ll probably send Hiro or Anemone to put a black label on your weapon…”

Stephanie simply shrugged. “Whatever.”

“No way they can label a Sloshing Machine.” She opened her locker and pulled out her weapon case, taking the Sloshing Machine out of it, putting the case back in her locker and shutting the door. She started to stroll away from the locker room to join a turf war match. She was happy she didn’t try to reserve a spot, this was taking far too long–

The sound of footsteps behind her getting faster and louder caught her attention. It gave her a very bad feeling about the situation. She quickly sidestepped to the left to dodge whatever was after her. Promptly, Yarrwhal ran right through her original pathway, stumbling over from the loss of his target and slamming against the ground. There was a black label in his hand that was now stuck to the floor. He swiftly picked himself off the ground, his attention jolting around to Stephanie in an instant.

“He… he’s just gonna try anyway–!?”

Stephanie dodged another lunge from Yarrwhal, who now had a black label stuck to the wall by the locker room’s entrance.

“What the hell, man?!” Stephanie yelled out. She let out a yelp when Yarrwhal tried to get her again. He ran directly into a wall instead of his target again.

He stood up from another failed labeling attempt, his goggles now knocked off his face. Stephanie was caught off guard by his piercing blue eyes; they fiercely stared back at her own gray pair. There was a fiery rage in them that she thought someone like him couldn’t have. “Why does he look sad, too…?”

“You’re gonna get me in trouble, I can’t just let you go!”

Stephanie was finding it hard to talk in-between labeling attempts. She tried to hide in the (thankfully– or, unluckily) empty locker room, but Yarrwhal followed.

“Why do you care about that? This is just some stupid group–”

“This is all I have! And– and all you’ve been doing it slandering it!” Yarrwhal near yelled out, charging through the locker room to get her.

“Wait– this is an opening to some deeper insecurity. Maybe if I just–”

Stephanie dodged for what was the last time. Yarrwhal ended up ramming into a locker. A crunching metallic sound rang out. “Ouch.”

“I… Wow…” Yarrwhal mumbled into the metal of the locker, not moving his face from the new dent left in it.

Stephanie cautiously approached the injured boy, holding out a hand. “Need help?”

“A-Aren’t you afraid of getting a black label…?”

Stephanie sighed. “I don’t really care– I just want to help you. Sounds like you’re only in this thing because of the fame and attention it gets ya.”

Yarrwhal peeled his body from the locker, carefully readjusting himself to a sitting position. Blood slowly trailed down his face from his nose; it didn’t look like a serious injury despite the damage the impact caused. Stephanie took back her hand and set her Sloshing Machine down. She sat next to Yarrwhal with her legs crossed. Yarrwhal hugged his knees as he started to sulk.

“Do you not think I’m cool and menacing?” Yarrwhal asked out of the blue.

“Uh. I think you’re scared.” Stephanie replied.

Yarrwhal scoffed. “Of course I am. I just tried to black label a fellow best eight member without permission from the top three– cod…”

“Top three…?”

Stephanie patted his back. “You’re fine, man. Just– Why’d you let yourself join this? That didn’t seem pleasant.”

“It’s not.” Yarrwhal started. “But… I just wanted to be recognized. And have cool friends that like doing high-ranked turf battles.”

“You don’t need to join some crazy stupid group to do that.” Stephanie replied.

Yarrwhal sighed, wiping the trailing blood off his face like it were tears.

“This was the first time I had friends ever, I can’t just let this opportunity go to waste…”

Yarrwhal looked up at her with soft wet eyes. Tears dotted them now. “You’re– You’re the first member that wanted me to talk to them first. Other than Veronika. But she needs to do leader duties with Hiro and Anemone…”

New worrying information about the group aside… this guy just seemed lonely. Stephanie’s expression softened and she asked one last question, “do you even want to do this ‘black labeling’ stuff?”

“I’m just doing what I’m told.” Yarrwhal muttered.

“You shouldn’t have to follow a bunch of rules and hurt people just to be their friend.”

A long silence followed after Stephanie said those words. She thought he’d be easy enough to convince– but, after everything that just happened, all she wanted for him was for him to be okay. He literally just wanted to hang out more than anything. Doing a bunch of shady shit for friends is not something Stephanie is new to (she’s done her fair share of gas station steals and off-limits area exploring) but this was going too far. “I mean, he broke some cartilage in his nose over this, I think…”

Yarrwhal’s head shot up, a new confident look on his face. “You’re right.”

“Huh–?”

“They haven’t even tried to talk to me themselves– But you have. And you’re different. I wanna join that difference of kindness!”

Stephanie’s eyes lit up and she beamed. “You think this whole thing’s a pyramid scheme??”

Yarrwhal pouted. “No, but there is something wrong with it, I’ll admit that. I was kinda blind to it before you pointed out some of the faults of it all…”

“Those bulky goggles must’ve blocked your vision–”

Yarrwhal pouted even more, which caused Stephanie to giggle. Though, Yarrwhal held out his hand. Stephanie looked up at him in confusion.

“I’ll play by your game, too. If I’m using that phrase right.”

Stephanie took his hand and shook on it.

“Deal. Though, just one thing…”

Stephanie let go of his hand and scooted a bit to allow her leg to be pointed toward Yarrwhal. He looked very confused.

“...Do you need help tying your shoes–?”

“No– You wanna rebel with me, and it starts here.” She patted the exposed part of her leg. “Something about labeling a Best Eight member? I wanna commit to that.”

A small grin crawled onto Yarrwhal’s face as he rummaged around for a black label– the last one in his pockets, from the looks of it. He gently placed it over the area just above her foot, but below the pant leg. Yarrwhal looked a bit awed. Meanwhile, Stephanie was a bit creeped out by how tightly the label held on to her leg. “Is this super glue or something…?” She had to commit, though.

“Wow… I went against the rules. And it felt… right? I feel relieved.” Yarrwhal chuckled. “I thought I’d explode, or something.”

Stephanie stood up, holding out her hand. “Not like I’d let you when you’re my only ally here! Need help?”

Yarrwhal took her offer, getting back on his feet. Stephanie went to put up her weapon when she spotted his bloody nose again.

“Need help with that?” She asked, tapping below her nose to indicate what.

Yarrwhal took a moment to process her statement before shaking his head. “Nah I can get it while I go retrieve my goggles– Though, uh, is it too awkward to hang out now?”

Stephanie stifled a laugh. “Eh whatever, it could be worse. I’d rather stick together anyway now that I’m a walking target.”

Yarrwhal glanced down at her labeled leg. “Right.”

After putting away her weapon, they both left the locker room in the search for a cool place to hang out. This friendship started off on the wrong foot, sure, but it was going somewhere good. Stephanie hoped it was, anyway. Even if it wasn’t, it was her goal to take down this group and help out whoever else got trapped in it. The label that was now stuck to her leg made her worry, though; she’d have to stick with this plan, unless she wanted to have that thing attached to her forever. Stephanie knew that this wouldn’t be so easy going forward, though– Yarrwhal was barely 100 points more than her in this system and he was a bit of a headache to convince. Despite the worrying fights up ahead, she stayed determined.

“At least this guy got a friend– and I did, too.”

- 1/7 MEMBERS RECOVERED -

…

In the dead of night– long after the lobby had closed– two people (one inkling, one octoling) showed up to the scene left by the locker room. The inkling traced their fingers along the dent in the locker as the octoling noted each black label left in the room.

“Looks like one of us got in a fight, Hiro.” The inkling mused.

“Well– This isn’t a reportable offense, Ane.”

“Whatever.”

The inkling peered down at the small drops of blood on the ground.

“...But we have some evidence.”

Chapter Text

At the brink of dawn, Kayoss entered the just-opened lobby with a confident look on his face. He was going to label someone today– he hadn’t been able to in weeks. He was prepared to do anything to not let himself slip in the eyes of the hierarchy. The moment he went to enter the locker room, though, he went pale. He ran to a damaged locker… his locker. It was dented pretty badly. Blood trailed down from it to the ground, seemingly unnoticed.

He would label whoever did this, no matter what.

…

Stephanie and Yarrwhal walked away from the lobby’s Crab-N-Go, eating the Crab Trap Sandwiches they just ordered. Well, Yarrwhal was– Stephanie would prefer to have somewhere to sit.

“Soh, wat’s ‘ur ideah om thi ‘rebelliom’?” Yarrwhal asked.

“Eugh, talking with his mouth full…”

“How ‘bout you swallow that chunk of food first?” Stephanie replied.

Yarrwhal did so, then asked again, “What’s your idea on this ‘rebellion’ you have planned?”

Stephanie shrugged. “Save others from labels or convince more of the Best Eight to join us.”

“You’re nuts if you think you could convince someone to just… quit.”

Stephanie stifled a laugh. “Then what the hell did I do yesterday?”

Yarrwhal opened his mouth to retort, though quickly found himself being unable to say a thing. He stuffed another bite of sandwich in his mouth as an excuse for not talking, which led to Stephanie exploding in laughter. “He gets so quiet despite how much he yaps…” The two walked out into Splatsville, which still awed Stephanie from looks alone. They hadn’t been buddy-buddy for long, but they got along well enough. It felt a bit empty, though. Stephanie for the life of her could not figure out if it was due to there only being two people of if it was because of the black labels. Either way, she was willing to fix both problems no matter what happened.

Just in the middle of their period of peace…

“DID HE GET YOU TOO???”

The shout of a random passerby nearly caused the duo to topple over, but Stephanie caught herself (and Yarrwhal). Stephanie’s gaze darted toward the random inkfish.

“What? Who’s ‘he’?”

The passerby looked panicked, and they cried out again, “Kayoss! He’s been putting black labels on anyone he finds suspicious!”

Stephanie gasped. “That’s the member above Yarrwhal… thank cod I didn’t contact him.”

“Wait, Kayoss?” Yarrwhal approached the rando, “he rarely labels people– I’d know that better than anyone, we’ve talked, like, once! What’s up with him?”

“Someone broke his locker and he’s on a rampage looking for who did it.”

Stephanie and Yarrwhal shared glances.

“Ohhhh boy…”

Stephanie nodded and muttered out a “thank you” before she started to walk off. She took Yarrwhal’s free hand and dragged him with her– which almost cost him his sandwich, judging by his complaints about it. She only let go once the two were safely hidden in a small alleyway.

“Why’d you drag us here, exactly–?”

“To hide out from Kayoss, you idiot!” Stephanie replied. “He’s after you and I’d rather not see you get chased by a crazy man.”

Yarrwhal scoffed. “Kay’s not crazy. I’ll just apologize to him and everything will be fine! Let’s just eat our sandwiches before they start getting funky.”

Stephanie sighed. She slid down the wall until she was comfortably sat on the ground before starting to eat her sandwich. Yarrwhal copied her and they both finished their meals with no interruptions. Stephanie looked up at Yarrwhal, who had finished his sandwich a long time ago. He seemed lost in thought.

“You still wanna try to reason with the guy?” Stephanie asked.

“Well– Yeah. I just don’t know where to start…”

Stephanie thought on it while eating the rest of her sandwich. She had no idea who Kayoss was as a person– but he seemed to take things really personally. “A more personal apology would probably be best…” Plus, whenever something gets broken, it gets replaced, whether its through providing funds or through the breaker buying it themselves. It technically wasn’t property fully owned by Kayoss, though… Can’t just replace a locker that isn’t fully your own, can you? This was harder than she could’ve imagined it to be.

“Give him something cool to make up for it?” Stephanie suggested.

Yarrwhal perked up. “Oh… yeah! I could! I mean, eye for an eye, and all…”

“That’s about punishing people, dude.”

“Oh. My bad.”

Stephanie stifled her giggle. “Getting his face all bloodied up definitely paid some kind of price, though…”

Was that how one should pay the price, though? What if it was more literal; Despite it being unlikely, imagining this Kayoss guy ramming into Yarrwhal made her giggle. At the same time, though, she had a feeling that probably would not end up well. Especially with how socially inept Yarrwhal is.

…

“You’re giving him a popsicle?”

“You said ‘give him something cool’, did you not?”

Stephanie face palmed. “I’m not saving him, I’m not saving him, I’m not–”

She swiped the popsicle from his hand. “One, it’s almost the end of Fall. Two, he’s probably gonna melt this thing with how heated he’s gonna get when he finds out you wrecked his locker.”

Yarrwhal patted her back. “Chill, he’s… well… chill!”

“Knock yourself out.” Stephanie replied in defeat, handing him the popsicle.

He requested for Kayoss to show up through the lobby terminal and the two waited. Both of them really struggled to not just eat the popsicle themselves– apparently it was the most delicious one in Splatsville. Well, according to Yarrwhal, anyway. Despite everything, Stephanie was inclined to believe him.

“He can definitely lie… but I’m starting to trust his character a little. Not his brain– never his brain.”

Then, an octoling arrived in the lobby. They were wearing the most well-articulated outfit Stephanie had ever seen in Splatsville. It was Kayoss, judging by the tag professionally placed on his shirt. “The fashionista part of his title checks out.” He walked towards the two with a pompous attitude. It wasn’t exactly shocking– being apart of the “best turf battlers” group would definitely make someone act that way.

However, before any words could be exchanged, Kayoss looked at her. She paused, a bit intimidated. His neutral expression started to morph into something much more unpleasant…

“Uh, what’s up?” Stephanie asked, hoping to turn this into more pleasant small talk.

“You’re the one they identified in the security footage.” Kayoss muttered. “I’ve been looking for you.”

Stephanie’s hearts stopped beating for a moment. “Oh, cod, they recorded that…?!”

Yarrwhal looked confused. “Wait, Kayoss–”

Suddenly, Kayoss was right in front of Stephanie, easily towering over her. She let out a yelp, purely out of the shock of it all. She wasn’t worried about being black labeled– that already happened to her, what’s there to be scared of? Arrogance is something to be mocked, not feared.

“You, me, and your friend will do 2v2s in Turf War to settle this, and you tell me who broke my precious locker and hurt my baby– my weapon. Got it?”

“Baby…? He must really care about that thing…”

Stephanie hesitated. “...Sure. Depending on the terms.”

“If you win, I’ll forgive you. If you lose, I’ll make sure you’re never seen in turf battles here ever again. Got it?”

Stephanie felt a chill run down her non-existent spine. Regardless, she held out her hand.

“Deal.”

They shook hands. “This won’t be the first time I sealed my fate in something related to this dumb group, I guess…”

“I’ll be back in 30 minutes.”

Then, Kayoss simply walked off. Yarrwhal looked even more surprised than Stephanie was.

“I– Oh…” Yarrwhal mumbled out, a frown appearing on his face. Stephanie seemed even less pleased than him.

“He’s chill– as in, as cold as ice! What the hell do you mean you wanted to give this guy a popsicle??”

Yarrwhal waved his hand vaguely. “Well, he’s pretty chill compared to the others–”

“Dear cod… are they all melodramatic in their own special way?”

“– But, I thought he’d at least recognize me.”

Stephanie blinked at him. “That’s what you’re worried about?! He’s gonna make us into calamari!”

“Well, I’m an octoling, so actually–”

“We’re cooked, is what I’m saying, dude! You’re gonna be unrecognizable forever once he dices you up."

“We just need to win a Turf War… It can’t be impossible, right?”

Chapter Text

“Oh, this is gonna be so easy.”

Stephanie stood on her spawner with confidence; Kayoss and whatever random lackey he brought are using two backline weapons– Dynamo Roller and E-Liter. They were going to lose, it was obvious. Stephanie’s Sloshing Machine and Yarrwhal’s Range Blaster are gonna out-pace these weapons easily. Yarrwhal seemed to be getting cold feet, though…

“It won’t be,” Yarrwhal said, “they’re both above us in the hierarchy.”

Stephanie’s smile dropped. “Wait… the other guy is apart of the hierarchy? They don’t look like they should be. I mean– who brings an E-Liter to a 2v2?”

Yarrwhal gulped like a cartoon character. “I’m scared of how… good Calamar is.”

Stephanie took a mental note of that. “That’s the member above Kayoss, I think.”

Soon enough, the announcer for the battle revealed themselves on the cleverly hidden bleachers off to the sides of the stage. Stephanie only noticed them when the person walked out– and it was Shiver?!

“Wait, since when were those there?” Stephanie asked, though another question soon followed:

“Why’s there so many people…?!”

There were at least 30 or so people watching over this battle in those bleachers– a Deep Cut member being one of them. It left Stephanie’s jaw dropped and her expectations of her opponents crushed. “Is the hierarchy not just some cruel joke to these people…?”

“Kayoss is a famous fashion model, and the newscasters know about the hierarchy. The top three have been on the news once or twice!”

Stephanie’s grip tightened on her weapon. “I DIDN’T KNOW THAT–!”

“Hello my dear audience~ Today, I’ll be commentating over this gut-wrenching Sturgeon Shipyard Turf War between that ‘Best Eight’ group you all lick the boots of!” Shiver ended her commentary with a giggle. “Staged or not… this infighting is bound to produce some profitable content for Splatsville! And here I thought you all were a bunch of wimps…”

“That’s one way to start this.” Stephanie mumbled under her breath.

“YOU!” Shiver suddenly pointed her fan at Stephanie.

The inkling steeled her expression despite the new-found pressure placed on her. “Yeah? What’re you gonna say about me, huh…?”

Shiver’s smile turned to a sly grin. “Ohhhh, the new one’s acting tough! But is she all bark and no bite?”

The crowd roared with excitement in response. It sounded like hundreds despite their low numbers. Stephanie could feel her hearts beating out of her chest

Shiver gestured back toward the audience. “The new face here– Stephanie– is the ‘hierarchy newbie’ playing Sloshing Machine, as I’ve heard. I can commend her for not having some stupid pun in her name, I suppose…”

“Hey!” Yarrwhal piped up suddenly, “puns are cool, back off!”

“And there’s the one that thinks he’s the captain of his ship.” Shiver chuckled.

“PIRATES ARE COOL!!!!” Yarrwhal yelled out in response.

“At least he’s defending himself…?” Stephanie was more confused than impressed, though.

“Bravery can’t substitute for skill.” Kayoss stated. Stephanie glanced around the area and noticed a screen facing the audience. Right now, the camera was focused on Kayoss’ face. Being able to view him more closely made her even more nervous. She only begun to realize how seriously everyone was taking this.

Her train of thought spiraled. “This…”

Kayoss continued with his pseudo-speech. “You two may hold a fire capable of burning down villages in your hearts– but you need much more than that to survive this match.”

“...This is…”

“Calamar and I outrank you, this will be an easy battle. Do not resist the crush of defeat– as it’s inevitable.”

“It’s… It’s…”

The countdown to the start of the match begun. Kayoss’ piercing teal eyes widened with anticipation– perhaps even malicious glee.

“I can’t wait for victory– may the best ones win.”

Stephanie met that stare with panicked realization and yelled out in response:

“This… is… BULL-SHIIIIIIT!”

Small murmurs from Yarrwhal and Calamar’s confusion were overshadowed by the sound of launching spawners.

Yarrwhal’s mutterings weren’t so covered up as they traversed “Okay, we’re orange, they’re blue, they’re slower, we’re faster–”

“Yeah, yeah– let’s just get to mid already! We need to get control.”

“I’d be more careful–” Yarrwhal pointed toward the towering tower that sat between the two paths to the center of the stage from their base, “Kay and Cal love that spot- on their side, of course.”

Stephanie snorted. “Yeah, until I surprise them…!”

Yarrwhal took his time to paint the walls while Stephanie rushed to the bridge at center. She glanced around, looking for their competitors– but, none were there? She was confused– until something hit her. And her ghost was flying up toward the sky…

…shot by E-liter. “Fuck.”

“Team Newbies is dropping like flies~” Shiver commentated.

Yarrwhal looked around in a panic.

“Whuh– STEPH!”

Stephanie mentally sighed. “Sorry Wally…”

The moment she respawned, she decided to be more careful about how she approached. She bumped into Yarrwhal slinking around the same location she went to.

“I should’ve told you to be more careful– I’m sorry.” Yarrwhal whispered.

Stephanie placed a hand on his shoulder. “Nah, I went in without thinking. But– I still got some info from that!”

“Yeah?”

“Calamar’s hiding on that weird grate platform– go bully him or whatever you blaster players do.”

Instead of retorting like Stephanie expected, Yarrwhal nodded, discreetly heading over to the area immediately. He swam up the wall and took the hidden route under the bridge, peering over the edge to the other side. A shot of ink flew right over his head, causing him to duck near immediately. Instead of just sitting there and watching, Stephanie took the same route– instead going to the other side of the secret bridge passage way. She stood on her tippy-toes, going around a prepped ink mine, letting the horns of her helmet be visible.

“Ohhh, look who’s visible! Just m–”

Before she could even finish her taunt, her helmet got shot off of her head. She could barely grab it in time before it could hit the ground. The mine exploded right on her, which almost splatted her. Right after, a wave of blue ink was cascading over– Which she barely dodged. She escaped the area under the bridge off of the left wall, catching a glimpse of an angry Kayoss. Even worse– it looked like a majority of the enemy base was painted. She threw a weak fizzy bomb to try to paint over it, but orange quickly got covered by blue that dripped off of a weakened sprinkler placed on a nearby wall.

“Does that mean they charged their specials…?”

The sound of a deployed Wavebreaker answered her question. The sound of another ink mine going off and someone getting splatted answered the other one in the back of her Yarrwhal-worried mind. Well, for only a second–

Shiver’s voice boomed over the sound of celebratory cheers. “Team Nobodies just scored a WIPEOUT!”

Ignoring the title they were given, Stephanie put her helmet back on her head and ran over the bridge to the right side and saw a stoic yet energetic Yarrwhal attempting to ink some ground.

“You… lived?”

“Yeah! You’re distraction plan worked– Calamar was too focused on you to realize I got the upper hand. And, uh– Kayoss happened to run into one of my shots.” Yarrwhal replied.

Stephanie blinked. “You’re… different.”

Yarrwhal looked away from her. “I… I know you think I’m kinda dumb. I am. But… I know what I’m doing when I battle, I promise!”

“I… I don’t think you’re du–”

Before she could finish her reply (again), Yarrwhal was splatted right in front of her. After the ink settled, a Kayoss fuelled by rage readied another swing of his Dynamo. Stephanie quickly swam back down the bridge, narrowly dodging the next shot. She was brought back to her humanoid feet when a stray E-Liter shot hit the ground in front of her. She toppled down the left-side ramp until she hit her head on the safety border. She was out of Calamar’s line of sight– But she wasn’t safe just yet.

She quickly got herself up and dodged another one of Kayoss’ rapid attacks. However, this dodge led her straight to a corner.

“You can’t run this time.” Kayoss muttered. He placed a sprinkler above her, slowly getting damage on her.

Stephanie gulped down her fear, swinging her Sloshing Machine with all her might. “But I can do this–!”

Two direct hits later, and Kayoss was merely orange ink on the ground. She immediately raced down the section leading to enemy base, ready to sneak-attack the so-called “favorite spot” of the two. The moment she heard an E-Liter start to charge, she knew this could be her chance to save a teammate. She painted the walls leading up to the tower that watched over mid, going up the wall as quietly as possible. When she got up there, Calamar was positioned on the moving platform right in front of the tower, which was currently perfectly vertical. She struck them twice– the WIPEOUT sound played in her head again. Though, it didn’t count, as Kayoss was already respawned. And– so was Calamar? The Tacticooler in front of her answered her own question.

She fell down to the center bridge after tossing a stray fizzy bomb– narrowly avoiding another E-Liter shot– accidentally landing on the bumper on the bridge. She got bounced off right into Yarrwhal, causing them both to tumble to the ground.

“Ughhh… they’re relentless.” Stephanie mumbled, standing up quickly to make sure she wasn’t sniped.

Yarrwhal sighed, preparing a Wavebreaker to place down. “That’s what being apart of the Great Eight takes. Thankfully, I’m here to–”

Then, Yarrwhal got splatted by Calamar. The pieces of the Wavebreaker scattered across the stage, quickly dissipating in the ink. “Well, there goes my attempt to protect him…”

Stephanie retreated, going back to paint her team’s base. It seems that Yarrwhal had the same idea earlier in the match– she was just finishing the job. Soon enough, the flare of built-up special points surged through her bloodstream. A rush of adrenaline filled her senses as she hurried towards the battlefield again. Yarrwhal respawned much quicker than she anticipated, trailing right behind her.

Stephanie saw Calamar and Kayoss approaching from the right side, and a plan appeared in her head. She ran to the middle of the bridge and activated her special.

“Booyah bomb?” Calamar said under their breath.

Stephanie held a growing orb of destruction in her hand, her body raised into the air. She muttered a string of booyah’s under her breath. It slowly charged the bomb

Yarrwhal dodged out of the way of stray attacks from the opposing side. “You have to put in more passion than that!”

“Huh–?”

Yarrwhal took a deep breath. “You gotta do it like this–”

Then, he let out a loud “BOOYAH!” that echoed throughout the stage. Stephanie felt the power of the shout surge through her– enough to fully charge the bomb. Stephanie immediately threw it toward Kayoss and Calamar– it splatted the latter!

Kayoss, however, managed to get away. 1 minute left. Orange was winning right now– but whoever got splatted now could change everything and decide who won.

However, Kayoss put his weapon down as if the objective didn’t matter to him, dashing toward the center of the bridge. “What’s he doing–?!”

Before Stephanie could get tackled to the ground, a suction bomb placed itself between herself and Kayoss. Kayoss stopped, stepping backward and looking at someone behind Stephanie with a sharp glare. “Yarrwhal must’ve thrown that!”

“Good thinking, Wally!” Stephanie said.

Kayoss waited for the bomb to explode before going toward Stephanie again. However, he stopped for a moment and looked above them.

“Don’t shoot her– this is my job.”

Stephanie looked up and spotted Calamar with a charged up shot slowly backing off.

Stephanie stepped back from Kayoss.

“Dude– Why are you so… mad?”

Kayoss stepped closer. “You broke my locker using that idiot.” He pointed at Yarrwhal, who was still behind her.

“He’s not an idiot!” Stephanie snapped, “He’s pretty damn good at battling! I shouldn’t have to tell you that– he wiped you guys out without breaking a sweat!”

“There’s a reason we’re above you in the hierarchy.” Kayoss scoffed

“Oh, don’t worry, I know– it’s ‘cause you got in first and decided to flaunt your ego instead of doing your job.” Stephanie grumbled.

Kayoss pulled a black label out of his pocket and made a sprint towards Stephanie.

“This is what you deserve–!”

“Not on my watch!”

Suddenly, Yarrwhal swam in an ink trail between Stephanie’s legs and popped up, grabbing Kayoss’ wrist before he could plant the label on Stephanie’s weapon. Yarrwhal had abandoned his own blaster to make sure he could pull the move off. Kayoss looked genuinely shocked. He tried to use his free hand to yank the other one out, but Yarrwhal stopped that too.

“What do you think you’re doing–?!”

“Being an absolute idiot, as you would say,” Yarrwhal muttered, arms straining from holding back Kayoss’ strength, “I’m not afraid to be myself– the guy that just wants to help!”

Stephanie stepped back from the situation. “What the hell are you two trying to do??”

Yarrwhal almost couldn’t get his words out thanks to the battle he was fighting, but he managed.

“Y-You don’t get it, Steph! He’s calling me an idiot when he doesn’t even know me! Plus, I don’t want your weapon labeled by him–”

Kayoss nearly pushed Yarrwhal over, but the boy held his ground.

“I know exactly who you are– You act like you know everyone and want to be best buddies when you’re just… just a loser that I– everyone can’t trust.” Kayoss stated.

Stephanie’s eyes widened.

“Wait… is that his weakness?”

Yarrwhal pushed back with some force of his own. “I know I’m a loser– I’m trying not to be! I genuinely like you, man! But all you have been so far is mean to me! I don’t get it!”

“It’s because you’re… you. I don’t understand you! How are we supposed to be friends when you’re so confusing!”

Kayoss’ words danced around Stephanie’s mind, it was practically taunting her. “I understand him now… he’s too scared to open up to people!”

“I could say the same for you, asshole!”

Shiver, who Stephanie almost forgot was here at this point, let out a gasp.

“The last 30 seconds– and there’s a dramatic brawl between not-so friends… It truly is now or never~”

Stephanie tried to yank the boys off of each other, but they didn’t budge. One set of hands interlocked, the other being a held black label being stopped by Yarrwhal’s hand on Kayoss’ wrist; the only thing stopping the two from breaking into a fist-fight was that label being unused. They continued trying to overpower the other to no avail, until Kayoss spotted that Stephanie had tried to step around them by this point. He lunged toward her direction, causing both octolings to tumble down. They almost fell off the bridge, but thankfully, both were still on top. Black label now placed on the ground, they decided now was a good time to start throwing punches.

“Oh, now I REALLY need to split these two up.”

Stephanie was now using all of her might to try and pull Yarrwhal off of Kayoss. Kayoss did back off from Yarrwhal once he realized what was happening– only to try and label Stephanie again. She realized how much of a mistake it was to keep her Sloshing Machine in her other hand. Yarrwhal jumped to defend Stephanie. It all happened so fast, the trio forgot the match was about to end.

“Everyone, FREEZE!” Shiver shouted.

And so they did. Stephanie was on the ground with her eyes closed. She slowly opened them, looking up to see Yarrwhal holding out his hand to stop Kayoss from toppling over the two of them; his palm was shoved into the other’s chest. However… Kayoss’ hand was placed on top of Yarrwhal’s, black label underneath.

“I’m… labeled?” Yarrwhal mumbled.

Kayoss blinked. He seemed to be snapped out of his anger. “I… I don’t know. They’re supposed to go on weapons, I–”

“And now we’re gonna tally the results! They’re super close from the looks of it!” Shiver called out. The crowd behind her began to murmur to each other.

Stephanie gawked at them. “Wait, but we had a huge lead–”

She stood up from the scene in front of her and looked around. Lines of blue ink were haphazardly placed around the center of the stage… with a calm Calamar standing not too far away from the trio.

“I, uh,” Calamar stuttered, “took advantage of the fact you all were… busy.”

Stephanie’s jaw dropped. She turned back to the two boys now backing away from each other with a furious look on her face

“So one of our teams is gonna lose because you two couldn’t talk things out like normal people?!”

Yarrwhal scratched the back of his neck. “Well, uh… I was fighting fire with fire! Fire’s pretty strong, haha… Team Fire won the splatfest, right?”

Kayoss sighed. “It did not, and… I was blinded by rage. I sincerely apologize for what I’ve done today.”

Stephanie walked up to the two of them.

“It’s okay, just! Maybe we shouldn’t try to settle arguments on the battle field? No need to spill red ‘ink’ when we’ve got our own colors to worry about.”

Kayoss glanced over at Yarrwhal. “Well… It wasn’t all bad. Getting it out of my system made me realize that I could be in the wrong. I’m sorry for saying so many mean things about you, Yarrwhal.”

Yarrwhal waved his hand. “It’s… fine. I won’t take it that personally.”

Kayoss winced, but he just sighed out of relief– probably because no one else was mad.

“I’m realizing I need to think this through more… Especially about you two.”

Before anyone else could get another word in, both teams were ushered off of the stage. Stephanie and Yarrwhal looked everywhere for Kayoss, but he completely vanished. They ran into Calamar in the lobby, Stephanie’s mind filled to the brim with questions she expected at least some answers to.

“So,” Stephanie started, “what happened to Kayoss?”

Calamar shook their head. “I… don’t know. I’m more worried about the results.. They usually don’t take so long.”

Stephanie glanced at Yarrwhal, who was currently inspecting his labeled hand. He moved his fingers around, probably checking to see if they still had their full range of motion. Thankfully, they did– if the label were placed on his palm, things might’ve been a lot worse.

However, nothing could prepare Stephanie for the results of the match. Worried anticipation took over her senses as a screen in the lobby lit up, showcasing the results of the most recent battle…

And her heart stopped.

It was… a tie?

“What happens now…?”