Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Enoshima-san, it’s really nice of you to visit so early in the morning.” Naegi places a cup of tea on the low table that Enoshima sat at, and she immediately peeks at it, only to lightly push it away from herself. Seems it wasn’t interesting enough for her. “Now that I think about it, it’s the first time that you dropped by in our dorm room, isn’t it? I'm the only one available to entertain you right now at the moment though because Kuwata-kun is still asleep… Sorry about that, I hope you don’t mind.”

She rolls her eyes. “Really now?”

He only smiles as he sits across her.

“It makes me feel creeped out when you talk that way, you know?” She makes a face. “But no matter. I guess it’s unavoidable since you have an image to keep up, after all.”

He chuckles. “Saying it like that makes it seem like I'm so bad, Enoshima-san.”

She hums. “If you ask me, there isn’t really anything wrong with that.”

“That’s what you'd say.” Naegi nods. “Anyway, there must be a reason why Enoshima-san is here today, right? Do you need anything?”

“Fucking yes!” Enoshima’s voice suddenly increases in volume. Naegi instinctively turned to check on Kuwata’s sleeping figure, only to see that the latter merely flinched but didn’t do anything else. “Ooops, sorry! Hahahahaha! Keep your damn ears peeled and fucking listen!”

“Yeah, I'm listening… What is it?”

She laughs out loud again because of Naegi’s response. “You're really dang funny! Anyway, I'm here because I fucking wanted to give you some motivation!”

“Motivation?”

“That is correct.” She straightens her posture, a much more serious expression now on her face. “I am not joking whenever I say that I am getting impatient, so I thought I should give you a bit of fuel.”

“Alright? What do you mean by that?”

“Take this.” Enoshima puts her hand inside her pocket before promptly placing it on Naegi’s palm. She crosses her arms after, and he looks at the item in his hand, confusion all over his features. She seems to have given him a… pen?

“What's this, Enoshima-san?” Naegi holds up the pen, turning it over and looking for something that will make it different. It’s from Enoshima, so of course there's no way that she’ll just give him a pen that can be found anywhere.

Enoshima quickly frowns and clasps her hands together. Here it is. Naegi’s least favorite out of all her personalities. “Obviously it’s a pen, Naegi-kun… It’s despair-inducing that you can’t tell just by looking…”

“You know that that’s not it, Enoshima-san.” Naegi makes sure to stay calm. “I do know that it’s a pen. I just found it strange that you gave me a pen out of nowhere. You also said that it has to motivate me somehow, so…”

“Ah, the despair…” Enoshima sighs, holding herself. “It’s almost as if you're saying that I can’t do anything normal…”

“That’s…” Naegi lightly scratches his cheek, making sure to sheepishly smile despite his growing annoyance. “Well, that’s exactly what I think… but as you said earlier, there isn’t really anything wrong with being like that, is there?”

“Awww, you cutiepatootie!” Naegi doesn’t even evade anymore even as he feels fingers pinching his cheek. “Careful! If Komaeda-kun hears, he might say you're flirting with me!”

“But I'm not flirting with you, Enoshima-san.” He removes her hand from his face and smiles as respectfully as he can. “So about the pen… Is there really nothing different with it?”

“As I said, Naegi-kun, you're really, really cute! But,” She giggles, her words ending in a singsong tone. “I guess I’ll let you figure that out on your own! It’s super easy, really, it doesn’t even deserve to be called a secret! Actually, knowing you, I'm sure you'd already know what makes it different by the end of the day!”

Naegi turns the pen around again. Is it detachable? Is there another hidden item inside? He tries to twist the pen’s body, and it detaches. He hurriedly looks inside, only to see that it’s just like a usual pen—the body can be detached, but there's nothing but the long container of ink inside.

“Oh, well,” Enoshima speaks again, interrupting his thoughts. She stands up, dusting her skirt, causing Naegi to stand up as well. “I guess I should leave now. See you later in class, Naegi-kun.”

“It was great talking with you, Enoshima-san.” Naegi says. Enoshima rolls her eyes again. “See you again later in class.”

He gets the feeling that it’d be satisfying to scratch out her eyeballs, but he realizes that that won’t be easy nor would doing so be practical to his goals.

--

“It’s a good thing that it isn’t raining anymore, isn’t it?” Naegi leans on Komaeda’s shoulder, their sides touching. “I honestly missed hanging out here in the rooftop without having to think that it might rain soon.”

“The same goes for me.” Komaeda obviously is doing his best to stay still so as to not bother Naegi’s position. It’s really flattering in a way. “Out of all the places we spent our time in, there's just something really different with this rooftop.”

That’s actually something that Naegi can wholeheartedly agree with. He knows that their reasons for feeling that way are most probably far too different from each other, though. “You took the words right out of my mouth! I'm glad you feel the same way, Komaeda-kun.”

“Haha, well…” Komaeda finally allows himself to move a bit, leaning his head on Naegi’s. “Just by looking, I can tell that Naegi-kun really likes the rooftop, see… Seeing you happy makes me happy as well.”

“Oh… but if you have somewhere else you want to go to, you can always tell me, okay?”

“Ah, no, don’t worry about that!” Komaeda shakes his head. “For me, it doesn’t really matter where we go. As long as we’re together and you're happy, I'll be contented.”

“If you say so…” Naegi sighs. “I just hope you tell me if you want something, you know. See… You have a habit of invalidating yourself.”

“Don’t worry.” Komaeda leans closer against him, softly giggling. “I do mean it… I'm really happy just being here with you, Naegi-kun. I can’t really explain the feeling.”

“You have no idea how much that means to me.” Naegi smiles and wraps his arms around Komaeda. Komaeda immediately returns the gesture, leaning his chin on Naegi’s shoulder. “I'm happy just being with you too, so… let’s continue being together, alright, Komaeda-kun?”

“Of course.” Naegi slightly pulls away, just slightly so that he won’t seem too cold. Komaeda’s smile looks so moved, his cheeks lightly red, and Naegi could have sworn that there are slight tears on the corner of his eyes. “If you're happy being with someone like me… then who am I to refuse?”

--

Naegi is lying down on his bed, the top bunk, fumbling with the pen Enoshima gave him this morning. He detaches it again, probably the fifth time this night, the eleventh time this whole day, before inspecting the ink again as if something would change if he stares hard enough.

Nothing but regular ink. The kind that he would see in any kind of pen. No small letters engraved on the plastic, no paper hidden somewhere inside the pen’s container itself, no secret switch or button inside… no special feature.

None that can easily be found at least.

It’s pretty annoying that he hasn’t found out yet, especially since Enoshima pointed out that it would be too easy. But then again, it’s Enoshima, so he isn’t really too sure about the reliability of her words. He gets up, ignoring the annoyance that he's feeling, and carefully climbs down the ladder of the bunk bed. Kuwata still isn’t home—to be honest, it’s starting to feel like he doesn’t really have a roommate anymore—but he doesn’t mind. Naegi actually likes the idea of having the room to himself.

He heads to the study table and sits on the chair, pulling a pad of paper close to him. There are always pads of paper placed on that table because both he and Kuwata agreed that they’ll never know when one will be necessary. He figures that the only thing left for him to do is actually write using the pen since he has been inspecting it repeatedly all throughout the whole day.

He decides to write a simple ‘hello’. That’s the word he always uses whenever he has to try out a pen. The ink feels smooth—he didn’t have to press the point of the pen firmly on the paper to be able to write properly—and he realizes that it’s a pretty nice pen to use.

It’s that kind of pen that makes one want to write a lot. It must be the smoothness of the ink, or maybe the fact that Naegi doesn’t really have anything to do, but he decides to write, write, and write—even the things that he normally wouldn’t.

‘Hello.’

‘I'm Naegi Makoto.’

‘Everyone’s so stupid.’

‘Stupid.’

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid.’

‘Die, die, die.’

The next thing he knew, the paper was filled with nothing but hostilities that he somehow managed to write.

Even the first ‘hello’s’ that he wrote got scratched out along with his name.

He tears the paper off the pad and crumples it, throwing it straight to the trash bin.

--

Naegi wakes up the morning after to the sound of his ringing phone. If he were to be truthful, he hadn’t recognized the sound right away—after all, his ring tone resembles the sound of an emergency bell—and for a moment, he thought that the world was going to end.

Not that he’d mind, but it’s really going to suck that it did not under his watch.

Who's he kidding—of course he’d mind. He won’t tolerate anyone stealing his dream away from him. The world was already his, after all, he just has to walk and claim it, and if someone else does, he doesn’t know what kind of things he’ll do just to restore the natural order of him owning the world—

“Naegi!” He instinctively sits up, his whole being awake. “Your phone’s damn noisy!”

“…Ah, right!” Spacing out first thing in the morning. It’s not endearing. “Sorry, Kuwata-kun!”

He reaches for his phone and reads the details that it’s showing him.

[Caller: Komaeda Nagito]

[Pick up?]

[Reject?]

Rejecting the call would be good, but of course he couldn’t do that. He takes a deep breath, swipes to the proper direction to pick up the call, and puts on a smile as he speaks. “Hello, Komaeda-kun. Good morning.”

“Good morning, Naegi-kun… Did I wake you up?”

Naegi finds that question annoying because what's done is done regardless of his answer. “No, I’ve been up for a while now. Did you need something?”

“Well, sorry for the bother, but…” This statement is also annoying because Komaeda might as well be straightforward with it now that he already has done his phone call. If he really didn’t want to be a bother, he wouldn’t have called in the first place, would he? “I'm sorry, I really am, but… can you come over right now?”

“Of course. Did something happen?” Naegi descends the bunk bed as carefully as his current action permits. His other hand wasn’t free because of the phone call, and it wouldn’t be good if he falls and injures himself. “Please just give me a short while to freshen up a bit. I’ll be there ten minutes maximum, alright?”

“Thank you so much, Naegi-kun. I owe so many things to you already…”

“Don’t think of those, Komaeda-kun.” Naegi says as soothingly as he can. “I'm doing it for myself too, you know. I'm happy when you are, so…”

“A-Anyway,” Naegi can clearly imagine Komaeda’s probable blush at the moment. “I’ll be waiting for you, alright? Let’s continue this conversation later.”

“Alright. I’ll be fast.” Naegi makes sure to add. “I love you.”

It felt good when Komaeda sounds like he squeaked just because of that simple statement, obviously flustered, “I-I love you too.”

--

Naegi wasn’t really expecting anything, nor did he have guesses about the possible reason Komaeda called him so early in the morning, but he still was surprised to find out that it’s because of Hinata. Hinata seems to have a high fever from what he can see, and he briefly remembers himself in the same state.

He hates getting sick so much—the mere memory almost made him frown.

Well, he supposes he has an excuse to frown at the moment at least because it isn’t normal to smile while looking at someone who's bedridden with fever.

“What happened?” Naegi makes sure to look worried. “Is Hinata-kun sick?”

Komaeda nods, biting his lower lip. “I'm so sorry for calling you here, it’s just that I didn’t know what to do.”

Naegi nods as well to show that it’s alright. Komaeda continues speaking. “I think I told you that I myself get sick pretty often, but it’s just that Hinata-kun is nothing like me. He said that he doesn’t usually get sick, so I'm just… really alarmed right now. I just kind of woke up right now, and his temperature seems to have increased from last night when I checked it… I don’t understand what I'm doing wrong.”

So it is a fever. Of course it was obvious at first sight, and it’s not like there's another likelier alternative, but no matter. “I see. I think I already told you that we’re similar. About getting sick pretty fast, I mean. But I usually just wait it out until it’s gone… Sometimes I don’t even drink medicine… but I do understand why you're alarmed. It is indeed worrying…”

“I'm really so sorry for bothering you…” It’s unbelievable how ashamed Komaeda looked at the moment. It’s almost as if he just asked Naegi to lend him a huge amount of money. “I should be knowledgeable enough to at least know what to do in a situation as simple as this, yet I just had to be incompetent—”

“Now, now, Komaeda-kun…” Naegi interrupts, placing a hand on Komaeda’s hair. Komaeda is looking down, looking like he badly wants to hide himself in shame. “Don’t say that about yourself. It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I won’t mind helping you out. Though I admit maybe it was a better choice contacting your classmate… the Super High School Level Nurse, right? Not because I think you're bothering me, but because I think she’d be more knowledgeable…”

“You're right…” Komaeda blinks, realization all over his face. “Ah, I didn’t think this through... I'm so sorry. It’s just that when I need something, you're the first person to come to mind. Someone like me really shouldn’t be allowed—”

“Komaeda-kun, it’s really okay.” This time, Naegi interrupts by ruffling Komaeda’s hair. That gesture is one that he can say he honestly liked doing. Even if Komaeda’s looking down, it still wasn’t difficult to see that his cheeks lightly colored with what Naegi did. “Please don’t be so hard on yourself, alright? You're doing what you can, and you just wanted to help out Hinata-kun… it’s okay. Everything’s okay.”

Komaeda shows him a small smile, that blush still on his face. “Thank you…”

Naegi returns the smile, and that was when he notices something strange.

Hinata.

Hinata’s awake.

It was easy to miss—it only took a few seconds, after all—but Naegi was sure that Hinata opened his eyes just now. Naegi himself blinks afterwards, maybe he's just seeing things, after all, but now that he stares harder, Hinata’s eyes seem tightly scrunched together… that kind that seems like it requires conscious effort?

Naegi wonders if his evaluation of Hinata was mistaken.

Naegi actually thought Hinata was genuinely nice, almost overly so, to the point that people can easily take advantage of his kindness, but right now, he's questioning that verdict. After listening in on Naegi and Komaeda do certain things that certain time, Hinata is now pretending to be asleep while in the same room as them.

Is this an effect of despair?

Or is he reading into this too much?

Naegi wonders if his displeasure is currently showing on his face, but he supposes he’ll never know because Komaeda speaks again, still preoccupied with his worry. “I don’t want him to attend classes today… I think that may be part of the reason why he's not recovering quite fast.” Komaeda sighs. “I'm really worried… He even has a part-time job that he has started recently.”

Hinata is obviously trying to breathe in a regular pattern to maintain his sleeping facade. Naegi doesn’t know why he's feeling offended about this. “He does?” He responds anyway even if his disinterest honestly can’t go any worse. “Hinata-kun really is admirable.”

“I agree with that. But of course, even he got tired…” Komaeda bites his lower lip. “I don’t think the rest that Hinata-kun gets is adequate… To make up for the time that he lost for studying because of work, he has decided to study whenever he wakes up in the morning before we go to school.”

Now that Naegi thinks about it, maybe he's a little bit curious about something, after all. He wonders why Hinata decided to get a part-time job since doing so will obviously conflict with his already-existing goal to study as hard as he can. After all, being in the Reserve Course Department, Hinata must belong in a really rich family.

He remembers the last conversation that he actually had with Hinata. Hinata mentioned something about wanting to give Komaeda a gift for the tradition, about how he wanted his gift to be able to make up for his inadequacy as a friend.

Of course Naegi can’t know for sure unless he asks, but his current guess is that Hinata most plausibly is working for a gift that he has in mind. Naegi would scoff at the moment if only doing so won’t grab Komaeda’s attention. It’s almost moving how Hinata is willing to go to such great lengths for Komaeda, but generally, it’s more ridiculous.

“Oh… That really does sound so tiring…” Naegi realizes that he has to reply. “May I ask the reason why Hinata-kun decided to get a part-time job?”

“Ah,” Komaeda blinks, slight alarm on his features. “Sorry, I didn’t really ask…”

“Oh, it’s okay, don’t worry.” Naegi nods, smiling. He feels the urge to touch Hinata—maybe flick his forehead or pinch his nose and not let go—because it greatly annoys him that right now, Hinata must feel like he's successfully tricking Naegi. “Anyway, I think Komaeda-kun should place that wet cloth on Hinata-kun’s forehead now. What I'm worried about though is that there would be no one to keep him company later when the two of us leave for school.”

So he suggests instead because he knows that it’d be weird if he actually goes ahead and pinches Hinata’s nose.

“You're right… I was thinking about that too…” Komaeda nods. He almost looks absentminded. “Do you think it’d be a good idea if I… skip school today?”

Naegi’s pretty certain that Hinata won’t like that. He keeps a close look at Hinata to observe any visible reaction, but it seems that the latter is adamant about keeping this up. Naegi has to admit that if he allows himself to waver even just for a moment, he might actually believe that Hinata was really asleep.

“I don’t think so… I mean, I don’t think Hinata-kun would want you to do that.” It’s annoying how Hinata doesn’t even react a bit upon the mention of his name. “I know that the two of you are closer than Hinata-kun and me, but one thing that I know for sure is that he values academic excellence, and he might feel like he pulled you down if you skip today.”

“Right… but we can’t just leave him alone… “ That’s it. Maybe Hinata enjoys this attention that he's receiving from Komaeda. Now with that thought, Naegi wouldn’t be surprised if this whole fever was a ruse. “…Not to mention that he has fever.”

Naegi hums to look like he's actually contemplating this hardly. “Let’s see… Does Komaeda-kun think it’d be okay if we leave Hinata-kun in the infirmary?”

“I guess, in this situation, the infirmary is the best choice…” Komaeda replies, and he slightly climbs up the ladder to the top bunk, lightly dabbing Hinata’s forehead with the wet cloth.

Naegi briefly gets the thought that he wants to set that cloth on fire.

--

“Have you figured out the pen’s secret yet?” Enoshima practically slides to the chair beside Naegi’s with how sudden she appeared. “A day has passed. I expect you to know it by now.”

“Sorry, Enoshima-san.” Naegi apologetically smiles as he fumbles with the pen. “It seems I let you down. Still, don’t give me a hint. I’ll do my best to figure it out myself.”

“Just a bit of expert advice. I don’t think our classmates will mind if they see your true behavior, you know.” She hums. “Our classmates aren’t that stupid… maybe. But I'm pretty sure that when you confessed that you want the world to be yours, they already got a rough clue about what you really are. And if you ask me, they don’t seem to mind. Even my dream, remember?”

Naegi chuckles. “I don’t know what you're talking about.”

Enoshima raises an eyebrow, amused. “Oh, come on, I'm sure you do! I can sense your animosity from a mile away, you know. Keeping it all in, and not only that, having to act the exact opposite—doesn’t it give you despair? Isn’t it despair-inducing? Oh, oh, can it be? Do you enjoy despair too, Naegi-kun?”

“Oh, no, not at all.” Naegi smiles. “I'm not like you, Enoshima-san.”

“Oh, yes, that’s the spirit!” She smiles back. “Show me then. What else are you capable of saying?”

“The pen is pretty pointy, I think. It seems like a good choice to stab someone. Is that the pen’s secret, Enoshima-san?”

She laughs so loudly after that that some of their classmates momentarily turn to them in curiosity. “Oh, you're really funny, Naegi-kun! My stomach is going to burst! If this goes on, my insides are going to scatter all over!”

“That'd be bad.” Naegi laughs too. “I don’t think Ishimaru-kun would appreciate littering.”

“Ah, ah,” Enoshima’s laughter dies down. “Anyway, too bad that’s not the pen’s secret, Naegi-kun. It’s pretty disappointing that you hadn’t figured it out the first day, but I'm sure it won’t be long. Considering that it’s you,”

She chuckles as she walks away. “Master of the world.”

--

“Komaeda-kun, did you sleep well last night?”

Komaeda was in the middle of yawning, and Naegi closely observes that he seemed like he wanted to cut it short after hearing the question. He looks embarrassed as he replies, “Of course. Why do you ask, Naegi-kun?”

“Well, I can’t help thinking that maybe you didn’t get enough sleep… considering that you took care of Hinata-kun and all.” Naegi lightly pats his own lap. “If you want to, you can sleep right now. I’ll just wake you up when the bell rings.”

It’s not like Komaeda never did that, but he still looked embarrassed upon hearing the suggestion. “…Is that okay?”

“Of course. If it’s Komaeda-kun, it’s always okay.”

“Thank you.” Komaeda smiles, and he goes to lie down on Naegi’s lap slowly, as if waiting for Naegi to change his mind. When his head finally makes contact with Naegi’s lap, his smile widens even more, and he looks up to face Naegi. “Sorry for the trouble… but I guess I should take Naegi-kun’s offer.”

“It’s no trouble at all.” Naegi smiles back, running his hand through Komaeda’s hair. “Just sleep. I'm here for you.”

As soon as Komaeda falls asleep, Naegi takes out the pen to study it for another time. He detaches it again, even if he recognizes the sheer futility of the action, solely because he’d feel even worse if he doesn’t do anything. He knows that this is insanity—doing something over and over and expecting different results—but he can’t really help it.

He also doesn’t want to admit to himself that not figuring out a so-called secret feature of a pen is frustrating him more than he wants to.

He resists the urge to throw the pen to the wall across them.

--

Maybe Enoshima was right, even if Naegi doesn’t really want to accept it.

It is true that his animosity seems to be going over the top recently compared to the usual. Maybe, despite what he's usually thinking about planning things properly, he's in actuality more impatient than he recognizes.

Of course, he does recognize that even he has a bit of impatience in him—everyone does—but this is even more so than he thought.

It’s actually great that he's still keeping it together.

--

“Naegi-kun, this is Tsumiki Mikan-san. You already know that she's the Super High School Level Nurse.” Komaeda was smiling widely as he speaks. Tsumiki timidly bows her head and utters a soft greeting. “Tsumiki-san, this is Naegi Makoto-kun, the Super High School Level Hope.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tsumiki-san.” Naegi smiles too and bows his head as well. “Komaeda-kun has spoken really well about you.”

“L-Likewise.”  She basically squeaks. “K-Komaeda-san has told everyone a-about how n-nice you are… a-and I don’t doubt that…”

“Thank you.” Naegi chuckles. “Komaeda-kun mentioned that you're a kind person, easy to get along with, and not only that, your Super High School Level Talent is really admirable.”

She looks really embarrassed as she manages another soft word of thanks.

“Anyway, Naegi-kun,” Komaeda turns to him, still with a smile. “I'm sorry for being a bother, but can you wait here? I'm just gonna talk to Tsumiki-san for a bit.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay.” Naegi nods. “I’ll just stay here then, Komaeda-kun.”

Komaeda shows him another smile before turning to talk to Tsumiki. Naegi can hear their conversation—it doesn’t sound like anything too secretive anyway—so Naegi guesses that Komaeda asking him to wait was just that. To literally wait.

Komaeda asked Tsumiki to stay in the infirmary and make sure that Hinata will go straight to the dorm instead of heading for his part-time job. It was just a simple request, but it took a little longer than the expected (though not too long either) because their conversation was peppered with ‘sorry for having to ask you something like this’, ‘sorry for bothering you’ and some self-deprecatory things.

It’s almost comical listening to them, if Naegi were to be honest.

After they speak, Tsumiki bows at them again and hurries to the infirmary, obviously determined to fulfill Komaeda’s request. If Naegi is right that Hinata is saving up for a gift to Komaeda though, he’ll guess that no matter how difficult it is to resist someone like Tsumiki, Hinata would find a way.

--

“Hey, Naegi-kun,” The two of them just finished eating dinner, and they were already walking on the way back to the dorm. They chose a place that’s neither too far nor too near so that they would have ample time to walk and talk, but not too much for their feet to hurt when they get back. “What do you think?”

Naegi curiously turns to Komaeda. “About what, Komaeda-kun?”

“Well, I was just thinking…” Komaeda stares at the ground as they walk, contemplative. “Do you think that'd be enough? Would Hinata-kun decide to head straight home if Tsumiki-san stops him?”

“Of course we’ll never know about Hinata-kun’s exact thought process, but if I were to guess…” Naegi lightly scratches his own cheek. “I’d say that Hinata-kun would still push through.”

Komaeda sighs. “That’s what I think too… I don’t know the reason why Hinata-kun got a part-time job, but I can tell that it’s really important to him. I mean, he wouldn’t push himself that hard if not, right? Knowing him, I don’t think he’d let a fever stop him…”

“You're right.” Of course it sounds like Hinata to indulge in irresponsible behavior anyway. “Well, as his friend, Komaeda-kun should just be there for him whatever decision he chooses today. If his condition worsens, Komaeda-kun should just take care of him. And of course, I’ll help out however I can.”

“I agree with you.” Komaeda shakes off his previously visible worry with a chuckle. “Hinata-kun really can be stubborn if he wants to, after all. But I'm sure I can say too that whatever his reason is for doing that, it must be something good.”

“Right.” Naegi nods, chuckling as well. “So let’s just believe in him, alright?”

--

“Hey, Naegi, quick!” Kuwata was sitting by the study table, and he quickly turns to Naegi as soon as Naegi enters the room. “Do you have a pen?”

“Oh, right here,” Naegi takes that pen ‘with the secret feature’ from his pocket and hands it to Kuwata without thinking. He doesn’t really use that pen (aside from trying it out that one time) because he rather find its secret first, but right now, Kuwata seems to be in a hurry. “What's the matter, Kuwata-kun?”

“Hehe, nothing!” Kuwata grins. “Sorry, did I scare you? I planned to list the people who'll receive a gift from me for the tradition, but I couldn’t find a pen, that’s all!”

“Oh.” Naegi nods. “I thought something serious came up.”

“Hell, it is serious! I'm forgetting a name of a cute girl each second I delay!” Kuwata replies as he starts writing. “Alright, alright, I’ll give one to Mioda for sure, Maizono, Fujisaki and Oowada because I'm actually cool with those guys—and of course, Naegi!”

“Oh, thank you, Kuwata-kun.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, Hikari-chan, Kyoko-chan—wait, this is a different Kyoko, okay! Don’t get the wrong idea!—Yuki-chan, Misaki-chan, Risa-chan, Inori-chan—”

“Uh, wait, who are those people?”

“Haha!” Kuwata winks. “Well, how do I start? I met Hikari-chan in a family gathering one time. She's the daughter of my dad’s best bud! She was really cute, like seriously! I’d compare her to a goddess, but that wouldn’t do her justice!”

“I see…”

“And then there's Kyoko-chan—again, not Kirigiri, mind you!—wait.” Kuwata interrupts himself, furrowing his eyebrows. “You know what, let’s talk later! I'm going to forget more names at this rate!”

“Right.” Naegi forces a chuckle. “Just place the pen on the table once you're done.”

“Heh, alright! Thanks, Naegi! You're cool!” Kuwata flashes him a thumbs-up. “I’ll just put this pad inside the drawer, okay? Don’t want it getting lost, so don’t take it out!”

--

“Wow, it tastes good!” Komaeda licks his lips, smiling widely after. “I mean, normally, I’d prefer salty food over sweets in no time, but this one is really great… What is it called?”

It was two days later when Celes handed their classmates cakes in boxes, cakes whose appearance resembles closely that of a hat. She said that she was tired with the constant lack of taste that she sees from her classmates, so she took it upon herself to show them something superior.

Most of them didn’t mind, either happy or neutral about the free treat, but of course there was also some (to be honest, it was just Togami) who was offended with her apparent behavior of being condescending. Fukawa followed suit too because no one looks down on her ‘white knight’.

Naegi smiles back, chuckling as he shrugs off the memory from his mind. “According to Celes-san, it’s called Gugelhupf. Apparently, it’s Marie Antoinette’s favorite cake… so Komaeda-kun liked it?”

“I did!” Komaeda nods. “Celes-san really seems like she has expensive taste. She's such a sophisticated person.”

“She really does give off that vibe, huh? Would it surprise you if I tell you that she likes gyoza?”

“Oh…” Komaeda blinks. “Well, I wouldn’t have guessed, but then again, gyoza is actually good, so I couldn’t blame her.”

“I agree.” Naegi smiles. “So does Komaeda-kun like gyoza too? Would you like to eat gyoza together some time?”

“Of course! I’d be happy to!”

“Celes-san has mentioned something about wanting to play poker with you too, by the way.” Naegi chuckles. “Say, Komaeda-kun… If you win against Celes-san, it’ll be my treat! Would that be alright?”

“Oh,” Komaeda’s smile immediately turns nervous. “Well, I do believe in my luck, but… haha, I wonder how it’d do against someone with actual talent. She's the Super High School Level Gambler, isn’t she?”

“She is.” Naegi nods. “You're speaking as if your Super High School Level Good Luck isn’t an actual talent, you know. Don’t you see how amazing your luck is?”

“Come on, Naegi-kun, you're just being nice now…” Komaeda forces a giggle, but it comes out rather sheepishly. “I can’t even win against you in a simple game of poker.”

As if realizing that he said something wrong, Komaeda immediately pauses, his eyes slightly widening. “Wait, that’s pretty impudent of me to say, isn’t it? I mean, you are the Super High School Level Hope, after all. It’s just natural that you'd win over my measly luck whatever the matter is.”

“Komaeda-kun, you're being so hard on yourself.” Naegi frowns. “You already told me that your luck works rather differently, right? Besides, after losing to me in poker that time…”

Komaeda starts to look embarrassed, a light blush even dusting his cheeks, obviously understanding what Naegi was referencing. “Right… T-That’s embarrassing. I mean, if my good luck manifested that way… t-then you'll know that it’s what I wanted…”

“Don’t be embarrassed.” Naegi reaches out to touch his hand. “It’s what I wanted too, after all.”

“And I still don’t understand why.” Komaeda squeezes his hand back. “You must be tired of having this same conversation over and over again… but I just can’t grasp why someone as perfect as you would want garbage like me.”

“I said it before, and I’d say it again.” Naegi makes sure to give his best reassuring smile. “You're important, the most important of all. I really do need you by my side. I know that we’ll be incredible together… together, I know that we’ll be able to do even the most impossible things… I also already said before that changing one’s view about oneself is difficult, so I don’t mind having this conversation over and over again. I’ll repeat it as many times as needed until I finally make you understand how truly wonderful you are… alright?”

“Naegi-kun…” Naegi doesn’t think he said something new, but Komaeda looks blissfully surprised anyway. “Thank you so much… I’ll do my best to keep those words in mind.”

--

“Hey, dude, Naegi, what's up with you?” Kuwata looked displeased as soon as he saw Naegi entering the room. Naegi doesn’t appreciate being greeted that way, but he reminds himself to stay calm. “Why’d you throw away my paper?”

“What?” Naegi blinks, furrowing his eyebrows. “I didn’t throw anything. What paper are you talking about?”

“Hey, don’t act dumb now!” Kuwata frowns. “The paper where I listed names! You threw it away, didn’t you?”

“Huh?” Naegi shakes his head. “No. Why would I do that? I hadn’t even opened the drawer ever since two days ago. Maybe you just missed it?”

“No way in hell! I checked it over eleven thousand times!” As if to punctuate his words, he heads to the drawer and opens it, taking out the pad of paper that he used. He holds it up for Naegi to see as he continues speaking. “Look! Empty! No names! No Maizono, no Yuki-chan, no Sekai-chan—wait, I hadn’t mentioned Sekai-chan last time, had I?—anyway, the point is it’s empty!”

“But Kuwata-kun, as I said, I hadn’t even opened the drawer at all. I swear.” Naegi raises both of his arms in front of him. “And see, the trash can under the study table only has one paper inside it. That was the paper that was already there since three days ago. If I did throw something, it would be there, wouldn’t it? Why would I go out of my way just to throw the paper away elsewhere? And why would I even do that?”

“I don’t know, but I sure as hell didn’t so it could only be you!”

“You can even ask Komaeda-kun. I never had any paper with me at all. He’d see if I throw something, right? He's always with me.”

“You're not together twenty-four hours of the day! You could have easily done it when Komaeda wasn’t with you!”

“But I didn’t! Kuwata-kun, did the position of the pad change at all when you checked it? It probably didn’t because I promise I never even went near it!”

“Oh.” Kuwata blinks, momentarily stumped. After a few seconds, he looks like something clicked in his mind, and he frowned again. “You're just trying to trick me! It’s easy to return the pad to the previous position you saw it!”

“I didn’t!” Naegi shakes his head. “Look, the pad that you used was new, wasn’t it? It was never used before two days ago, right?”

“Yeah, but—”

“It’s a pad with one hundred leaves.” Naegi holds up a hand, wordlessly telling Kuwata to hear him out first. “Why don’t we count it? If it’s true that you didn’t take out any paper, and I'm sure that I didn’t too, then there should still be one hundred leaves in it.”

“But that’s hella stupid!” Kuwata quickly refutes. “It’s obvious that one of the pages disappeared because I couldn’t find my long ass list! It’s really long, hell, the names covered an entire page, so it wouldn’t be difficult to find it!”

“Let’s just try—”

“No! Better yet, I’ll check that paper inside the trash can! I didn’t check it three days ago, so I wouldn’t know if you really did throw something that time! Maybe that paper is my list!”

“Wait, no!” Naegi rushes towards Kuwata to stop him, but the latter has already grabbed the paper from the trash can. That paper—it was the one that carried his hostility. Not all of it, of course, but he's pretty sure that there would be a bad effect somehow somewhere for one of his classmates to see what he wrote. If this threatens the influence and control that he has, then he’ll never forgive Kuwata—

Kuwata opens the paper, straightening its crumples.

Naegi’s back immediately runs cold. He can’t believe that he's actually feeling threatened about something as insignificant as this. This must be the first time that he has felt this panicked because there is no reason for him to feel like he's not in control.

Kuwata furrows his eyebrows, and he throws a weird look at Naegi.

Naegi swears he's going to kill Kuwata if he tells someone else—

“Why did you throw this?” Kuwata holds up the previously crumpled paper. Naegi blinks in confusion (he doesn’t remember the last time he has felt confusion this great) when he sees that the paper that he was stressing over was, in fact, empty. “It’s such a waste.”

“Yeah…”

“Anyway, my paper—“

“No, Kuwata-kun.” Naegi interrupts this time. “I think… I think I know what happened to your list.”

--

On the day of the tradition, Naegi just handed Komaeda the box, hugged him, and left.

Or at least that’s what he’d like to think he did.

Of course it’s next to impossible that that’s what happened. No, of course he had to put up with a lot of romantic preamble, he had to squeeze out all the romantic juices that he's capable of forcing because this day obviously is special for Komaeda.

Being Hope’s Peak Academy’s Foundation Day, the day is even called ‘Day of Hope’ by some of the students.

“Did you like the food?” Naegi asks as soon as they step out of a restaurant, now into the city dimly lit by the street lights. “That was where I ate dinner with my parents and my little sister when they dropped me off before my first day in Hope’s Peak. I brought Komaeda-kun there today because it made me feel like I made a… union, I guess? A union between my family and the person that I fell in love with... Haha, sorry if that’s too cheesy.”

“N-No, I don’t mind at all…” Komaeda softly replies. Even if the lights were dim, Naegi still easily saw the light blush that Komaeda now has on his cheeks. “If anything… I think I'm actually really flattered. To think that you'd want to make a relation between your family and someone like me… it really is an honor.”

“Of course I would. You’re important to me, right?” Naegi smiles and reaches out to touch Komaeda’s hand. “I really want you to meet them as soon as possible, you know. I'm sure they'd love you very much.”

“Really…? To be honest, I'm kind of scared that I’d disappoint them, haha…”

“Nothing about you is disappointing, Komaeda-kun.” He squeezes Komaeda’s hand as they walk. “If anything, they might even get pleasantly surprised that I was able to make someone as great as you fall for me. You're too good for me, Komaeda-kun… I do think that we go well together, but I also know you're in another level.”

“Haha, what are you saying…?” Komaeda’s blush deepens, and he tightens his hold on Naegi’s hand too. “You’ve got that wrong, Naegi-kun. It’s actually the other way around… You're the one who's too good for me.”

“Alright, alright,” Naegi chuckles. “Let’s just agree that we’re both good enough for each other, okay?”

“Okay…” Komaeda nods, smiling a bit. “I'm still flattered that you think that way, Naegi-kun. I'm so happy that I was lucky enough to be the one here with you right now during the Day of Hope, walking in this beautiful city… I wonder what bad luck is waiting for me in exchange for this honor.”

“I guess nothing bad will happen, Komaeda-kun.” Naegi smiles back. “After all, the reason why I am with you is because of my own conscious decision to be. Not because you got lucky or something like that.”

“Oh…” Komaeda blinks. It seems that he has never heard of that before. “If you put it that way then… haha, I feel really happy for some reason. I hope I don’t weird you out.”

“No, I prefer seeing you happy, of course.” Naegi giggles. “Anyway, let’s go. I’ll show you someplace secret.”

Komaeda nods and smiles back, practically bouncing as he walks with Naegi. “You have a secret place, Naegi-kun?”

Naegi giggles. “Okay, I guess it was pretty misleading to call it secret. It’s just that… I noticed that not too many people go there, and it’s empty most of the time. And right now, I want to rely on your luck and see if it’s still that way at the moment.”

“Oh.” Komaeda nods, obviously trying to shake off the initial feeling that he got which was presumably pressure. “Well then… I'm going to rely on your hope, Naegi-kun. Let’s go!”

--

It was truly amazing when they got to Naegi’s so-called secret place. For such a grand-sounding name, it was actually just a plain park located in the less busy part of the city. That’s probably the biggest reason why there's no one here most of the time—after all, there's another park, and bigger too, in the busier part. It was more accessible, therefore, more people and vendors alike go there.

Easier to go to, causing more people to visit. More people visiting, so more easily see it.

It’s like sorry loop that says that things that started in the top will always and undeniably stay in the top.

“Here we are, Komaeda-kun.” Naegi turns to face Komaeda, smiling. “Sorry if you expected something greater. It’s just, well, a practically abandoned park… though I like it because it’s quiet here. Well, as quiet as a city can get, at least.”

“You're right. It does seem relaxing in here.” Komaeda comments, smiling back. “Don’t worry, Naegi-kun. I think it’s a good place. Quiet places really just have that comforting effect, right?”

“That’s right. It’s a perfect atmosphere for what I want to tell you tonight.” Even if Naegi diverts his attention to walking to a nearby bench, he can tell that Komaeda must have looked greatly confused with his words. “Let’s sit over there.”

“There's something you want to tell me, Naegi-kun?” Naegi can hear the nervous edge in Komaeda’s voice. “Is something the matter…?”

“Hey, don’t sound so scared now!” Komaeda sounds like he's honestly expecting to hear something bad, so Naegi decides to turn around and giggle at least. “It’s nothing bad, I promise. There are just things that I want you to know.”

“Oh.” Komaeda nods. “I'm still kind of nervous though… but alright, I’ll patiently wait until you tell me.”

They reach the bench that they were aiming to go to, and it was almost tempting to let Komaeda’s waiting be longer than necessary. There was something amusing about his apparent nervousness. It was just like the first day they actually interacted.

Right, now that he thinks about it, during the first day they interacted, Naegi was quite pleased that he was able to cause someone to be tongue-tied and nervous to that degree just by merely speaking to them and patting them on the shoulder.

Now that he thinks about it too, maybe Komaeda being that way is one reason why maybe, just maybe, Naegi doesn’t hate his company that much.

Hah, it’s so funny for him to be this sentimental. He can’t believe he's actually thinking of something like this.

“Alright, but as I said, it’s nothing bad. Instead of frowning that nervously,” Naegi places a finger on the side of Komaeda’s lips. “You should smile like you always do. It suits you better.”

Komaeda actually smiles after that—not his usual wide smile, just a small hesitant one, but Naegi decides to smile back anyway. “I'm really nervous about this too, but I’ll do my best for you, Komaeda-kun. Haha, it wouldn’t be good if the both of us are nervous, after all!”

Komaeda just starts to look even more panicked upon hearing that. “Why would you be nervous about something, Naegi-kun…? Are you sure this is… nothing bad?”

“It’s nothing bad, I promise! Alright, I’ll just get started.” Naegi clears throat. “See… I know we only have known each other for less than a year now, but I think, despite the short time that we had together, we were able to create a lot of good memories.”

Komaeda slowly nods. His nervousness seems to have eased, and its stead now stands confusion.

“It’s just really amazing to think,” Naegi continues. “That even if we haven’t been together for too long yet, we already were able to experience lots and lots of great things together. I really hope you feel the same way, but… for me, the time I had with you was really enjoyable, and I really had fun.”

“Wait…” Komaeda interrupts, his confusion still apparent. “I don’t understand… Naegi-kun, are you… saying goodbye?”

“No!” Naegi immediately shakes his head. “In fact, it’s quite the opposite, Komaeda-kun! I'm not saying goodbye… I'm trying to tell you how exactly important you are to me.”

“Oh…”

“So,” Naegi clears his throat again. “You know… I'm really glad that I talked to you that one time we passed by each other in the corridor. To be honest… well, that day, I did tell you already that I noticed that we seem to bump into each other a lot, right? I was so intrigued by you, Komaeda-kun. Your appearance really makes you stand out—not in a bad way! Knowing you, I think you might automatically assume something bad, but it’s actually—because you're attractive.”

“Really…?” Komaeda was lightly blushing again.

“Really.” Naegi smiles and nods. “You know, I actually told Fukawa-san about this. She's the Super High School Level Literary Artist, after all, and I didn’t want to seem uncool in front of you… but she said that it would be pathetic if I depend on her for what to say! Though she did suggest something that I can tell you after I told her a bit of information about our relationship, and I thought it was pretty fitting… Would you like to hear it?”

“Sure...” Komaeda slowly nods again. Looking at him like this, Naegi would think that he seems to be in a daze. “What is it?”

“Okay,” Naegi clears his throat for the umpteenth time tonight. Can’t blame him. He gotta seem a little nervous, after all. “My parents used to tell me that when they saw each other, they knew right away that they were the ones for themselves… I'm not going to lie, when I first heard that, I thought there might be an exaggeration somehow. I mean, listening to that, one would really think it’s too good to be true to happen in real life, right? But then… when I met you…”

Komaeda already looks so moved. Naegi’s not even done yet.

“When I met you, I realized that maybe, it wasn’t an exaggeration, after all. I mean, it was exactly what I felt when I saw you. Maybe that was why I wasn’t able to stop myself from approaching you even if I knew that doing so might possibly cause you to feel awkward…” Naegi chuckles. “But I guess I got lucky that you didn’t.

“If I were to be extremely honest about something… I’d say that you are my lucky charm, Komaeda-kun. I’ve always believed that I’ve been pretty lucky myself, but when I met you, I realized that I wouldn’t amount to my best potential without your presence. You always speak admiring words for me, always believe in what I say and what I can do… I believe that if we’re together, I’ll be able to do anything I want to do. I believe… that I’ll be able to make my dreams into reality as long as you're with me.

“Komaeda-kun… you're the one who makes me feel so powerful. That’s why, if you don’t mind…” Komaeda’s eyes look like they're glistening. His nose looks a bit of red too, like he's doing his hardest not to cry. Naegi smiles at that, taking the black box inside his jacket’s pocket and slowly pushing it to Komaeda’s hands. He gently rests his hands atop the box as he continues speaking. “That’s why, if you don’t mind… I wish to ask you to stay with me forever until death do us part.”

There was a long silence after that.

Naegi decides that maybe, just a little bit, he actually felt nervous because of that fact. The ugly possibility that he might have had his first miscalculation right now would be something that he’ll never forget. What if Komaeda refuses? What if Komaeda doesn’t really like him that much yet? What if Naegi has misread the whole deal?

But he only needed to take one look at Komaeda, and his worries dissipated… no matter how poetic that might sound. Despite sounding so, the reason for that isn’t really too deep. It was in a literal sense—Komaeda looks so moved at the moment, his face is obviously flushed, and he seems to have given up trying to stop himself from crying.

Of course, just one look, Naegi wouldn’t have to worry anymore.

The next thing he knew, he felt the black box on his lap, and Komaeda’s arms were firmly wrapped around him. Komaeda was leaning his face on his shoulder, practically burying his face in it as if to hide, and he does what Naegi guesses is supposed to be a nodding motion.

Naegi wonders…

Which one of them isn’t thinking properly right now?

Naegi returns the embrace with one arm, his other hand running softly on Komaeda’s back.

“Of course.” Despite Komaeda’s voice being muffled, Naegi still heard it clearly enough. “Of course, Naegi-kun. Of course. Of course. Of course I’ll stay with you forever.

“I know that you're giving me more credit than I deserve, but I’ll do my best. I’ll do my best to help you to reach whatever dreams you might have. I’ll do my best to always be of adequate support to you. I'm not much, but… I’ll do what I can… You can count on that much at least. I promise.”

Naegi chuckles as he continues running his hand on Komaeda’s back. He inches a bit forward to lean his head on Komaeda’s shoulder too, and he replies. “I can’t even stress how much this means to me. You’ve made me happier than you could ever imagine, Komaeda-kun… Thank you so much…

“So… Let’s continue making even more memories from now on, alright?”

--

‘I love you! :>’

‘Always take care of yourself!’

‘Eat a lot, okay? I don’t want you to get sick!’

Naegi carefully unfolds each piece of paper and reads each short message inside. ‘I hope we never fall apart!’ ‘I hope you like this even if it’s just simple!’ They're such sweet and cute words, almost overly so, but somehow, he can’t bring himself to…

…stop smiling?

Hah, disgusting.

“I'm sure you already read these last night, yet you're reading them again today as if it were the first time you did.” He hears a voice from beside him, and he momentarily looks up from the paper that he's holding at the time. There was Enoshima beside him, reading one of the papers that he already has unfolded, not that he was surprised. “How uncool.”

“Can you blame me, Enoshima-san?” He replies, diverting his attention back to the papers. “You have to admit that this is pretty cute.”

Enoshima furrows her eyebrows. She looked so disgusted; it’s almost as if Naegi went on a tirade about how despair is the most inferior thing in the whole universe instead of simply calling Komaeda’s gift ‘pretty cute’. “Ah, ah, I'm so disappointed I can feel my breakfast protesting to go out of my mouth!”

“What did you give Matsuda-kun anyway? Was it something as good as this?”

“Did you really think that I’d participate in this tradition? Besides, this gift doesn’t even qualify as good.” She rolls her eyes. “Too hopeful, too sickening, too… unpleasant.”

Naegi chuckles. “That sounds just like something you'd say, Enoshima-san.”

She throws one last glare at the box of papers, as if it personally offended her by simply existing, before deciding to ignore it and just look at Naegi. “Whatever, I'm sure he’d be the most fun to watch once hope is eliminated from this world. Anyway, you can probably guess why I'm talking to you right now, Naegi-kun… Have you figured it out yet?”

Naegi pauses in the middle of unfolding another paper. “I think so.”

“Good.” She nods, crossing her arms. “Now, make sure to pass by that certain corridor full of faculty rooms later after school. Don’t forget.”

“I won’t.”

--

Naegi hates how it seems that he's being bossed around at the moment. Looking at it like this, it’s almost as if he's just another useful tool in Enoshima’s plan. He doesn’t want to think of it like that though because he knows that this will benefit him too anyway.

So he walks by the corridor repeatedly just so he wouldn’t seem like he's waiting for someone specific to go out of any of the rooms. After all, if someone does go out, and Naegi is walking at the moment, he’d seem like he just got in the place or he was simply passing by.

It’s also to distract him from the thoughts that yes, he is indeed being bossed around right now, yes, he hates that fact, but he can’t really do anything but comply because this would work for his advantage too. Maybe he should do something to retaliate, even just a bit… Knowing Enoshima, Naegi thinks that she's aware of what he's feeling at the moment.

Just that makes him want to grit his teeth, but he controls himself.

He should be ready anytime. It wouldn’t be good if someone passes by or goes out from one of the rooms and sees him scowling at nothing. After all, he wouldn’t want to ruin his reputation of ‘having an excellent ability to be a soothing presence to other people’… or whatever ridiculous thing his welcome letter to Hope’s Peak said.

He doesn’t even know what he's waiting for right now. Matsuda? A researcher? Two researchers?

Or better yet—

A door opens, making a soft creaking sound, and Naegi stops walking. It was of perfect timing too—he was on the end of the corridor, and he looked like he just arrived with the position that he's in at the moment, and he makes eye contact with the person who exited the room.

“N-Naegi.” Better yet, it could be Hinata. And it was. It really was him. “You're here again, huh…”

Hinata looked like he couldn’t believe his eyes, almost as if it was his first time to see Naegi in this kind of setting. Naegi just gives him a small smile, acting like he hadn’t taken notice of Hinata’s strange reaction at all. “I am. Enoshima-san asked me to do something, and now I decided to walk here before going back. How are you now, Hinata-kun? Your fever was really bad five days ago… Both Komaeda-kun and I were really worried.”

“Oh, right…” Hinata nods. “Yeah, sorry about the trouble, by the way. I'm okay now.”

“It’s no problem.” Naegi smiles. “It’s good to hear that you're doing better now.”

“Right, and thanks too…” Hinata clears his throat. “I think… things would go better for me from now on.”

“Oh?” Naegi tilts his head. He's actually genuinely curious about that statement. “I'm really happy to hear that. Did something happen?”

“Well… yeah, actually. It’s pretty big.” Hinata shows him a small smile, almost unnoticeable, as he lightly scratches his head. “I wouldn’t mind telling though. I always burden you with my negative shit, so I think it’s about time I share to you something great.”

“Hey, now, I didn’t really mind. I was glad just helping Hinata-kun out.” Naegi smiles back. “Where would you like to talk? The usual bench?”

“Sure, I don’t mind. Let’s go.”

Naegi’s curiosity is getting more difficult to bear with each second. Hinata is actually happy about something. Somehow, he finds that a little too surreal. Did Naegi actually miscalculate this time? He really thought that Hinata was so close to giving up, yet he seems to have found a good reason to be hopeful now.

Right, maybe Hinata was able to give Komaeda a good gift for the tradition. Maybe, right now, he feels like he actually has redeemed himself. After all, that was what he was going for, wasn’t it? He wanted to feel like he has done something right by working himself to his limit and buying a probably expensive gift.

Naegi doesn’t know which, but something about this whole deal is rubbing him off the wrong way.

Maybe it’s the fact that Hinata actually is happy when the plan should be to push him to his limit?

Naegi can’t believe this.

They reach the bench, sitting after, and Naegi’s curiosity is almost eating him alive. Every rustle of the leaves and every breeze of the wind just make him feel more impatient—each sound is making him realize that time is ticking and more seconds are continuously going by without him knowing anything.

“To be honest, I'm… well,” Hinata sheepishly smiles. “I feel pretty guilty talking about myself all the time, so… do you have the time to chat for long right now? I think maybe you should… talk about yourself too. I’ll listen this time.”

“Oh, no,” Naegi quickly shakes his head. He knows that Hinata is trying to be nice, but if they wait for longer, Naegi would implode because of his impatience. “I swear I never really minded. If anything, I quite enjoy listening to you, Hinata-kun.”

“Seriously?” Hinata lifts an eyebrow. “I'm sure even a nice guy like you has limits… Doesn’t it get annoying listening to me whine about the littlest things?”

Yeah, and he’ll reach his limit if he continues waiting like this. “Of course not! I think I’ve said it before, but I never ever thought that you were simply ‘whining’. And Hinata-kun, you shouldn’t call your troubles ‘little things’, you know… If it was enough to bother you, I don’t think it’s what should be called ‘little’…”

“Yeah, but…” Hinata bites his lower lip. “If it were someone else in my position… they'd probably deal with whatever issues I have better. What I'm experiencing wouldn’t even do an effect to another person... so I'm calling them little things because they probably really are, and I'm just really not strong enough.”

“Hinata-kun…” Naegi lets out a sigh. “You shouldn’t talk about yourself that way…”

“Right.” Hinata nods, clearing his throat. “Sorry… I ended up talking about myself again. So uh… how are you recently?”

“I've been really alright.” Naegi nods too, forcing a smile. At this rate, it seems like he’d really be forced to talk about himself for a few minutes before actually hearing what he wants to hear. “I'm really happy about Komaeda-kun’s gift for the tradition, and I was also pleased that he seemed to have liked my gift even if it was rather simple… oh, right, have you seen him wearing the necklace I gave him? It has a partner, actually. Look.”

The necklace that he was wearing was actually obscured by the thick layers of his clothes. He gently takes it out from the inside of his hoodie before smiling again at Hinata. “I know it suits Komaeda-kun better… but I'm happy at least that we paired.”

Hinata stares at it, and for a split moment, Naegi sees a look of hopelessness in his eyes. A look of despair—it’s something that Enoshima would like to see, no doubt. Naegi’s pretty confused now about Hinata’s current state of mind.

Was it really hope?

Or is it despair, after all?

“Nah…” Hinata looks up from the necklace to Naegi, forcing a small smile. “I think it suits the two of you perfectly. You guys are both really lucky, right? Both of you—the person that you fell in love with loved you back… and that’s just really great. I'm really happy just seeing you guys being happy.”

“Thank you.” Naegi smiles back, returning the necklace back under his hoodie. “You're a really great friend, Hinata-kun. I find it really amazing that I was able to befriend you… someone who is genuinely happy for the happiness that both Komaeda-kun and I have. It’s not easy to find a friend like you, so thank you, really.”

“Yeah…” Hinata nods, increasingly looking guilty. “He, uh… really loved your gift, by the way. I don’t think I’ve seen him smile that widely for so long.”

“Really?” Naegi lightly places a hand on his own chest because he doesn’t really know another way to amplify the accuracy of the flattered feeling that he's trying to simulate at the moment. “I knew he was happy… I mean, he said so. But I had no idea that it was that much… haha, I'm feeling really happy too now myself! Again, thank you, Hinata-kun. For telling me, this time.”

Hinata must have realized why he doesn’t really let Naegi do more of the talking. He looks like he's regretting his decision—not because he doesn’t want to listen (Hinata seems too nice for that, even if Naegi was actually starting to question that verdict recently), but because it actually hurts him to listen.

Earlier, Naegi was itching to shift the conversation to Hinata, but now, he realizes that maybe it’s not so bad, after all. It’s fun too to make Hinata regret his choices more, since he was the one who insisted Naegi talk about himself anyway.

“No problem. You don’t have to thank me for that.” Hinata nods. “So… Tell me more. If you want to.”

Naegi wants to echo that last phrase. ‘If you want to’… pfft, is Hinata even serious? Maybe he's forgetting to ask himself that. Does he really want to listen to this?

“Well, what else should I say…” Naegi lightly taps his own chin. “Well, Komaeda-kun gave me a box full of strips of papers carrying his messages for me! It was really cute, to be honest. I think I might have gotten goosebumps at how perfectly it was done…”

“Ah, right, he mentioned that…” Hinata looks like he's wondering why he's even trying to smile at the moment. “Yeah… He really tends to like customized gifts, so… I'm pretty sure he had fun pouring his heart to create a gift like no other.”

“Hey, if you say it that way, I’ll be really embarrassed!” Naegi softly chuckles. “Right, what did Komaeda-kun give you this year? Was it something customized too?”

“Well, I…” Hinata bites his lower lip. “I don’t really know. I didn’t… accept his gift.”

“Oh…” Naegi furrows his eyebrows. “You didn’t? Why?”

“I’d feel guilty to do so. You see, I… wasn’t able to get him anything this year despite me telling you last time that I’ll do my best to give him a great one… so yeah, I feel like an even shittier friend now, so… I don’t think I deserve to get that gift from him.”

“But Hinata-kun…” Naegi bites his lower lip. “I don’t mean to… well… act like your decision is something I can control, but see… don’t you think it would upset Komaeda-kun even more if you reject the gift that he meant for you?”

Hinata’s eyes slightly widen. If he only thought of that now, Naegi would think he's really stupid. “…You're right. But… I just… really don’t think I deserve it… I'm sorry we’re back to talking about me, but… did I fuck up again? Should I have accepted it, after all?”

“Wait, don’t be so hard on yourself!” Naegi takes a deep breath. Hinata does the same. “If Komaeda-kun indeed has been upset greatly by you not accepting his gift, I think, if you accept it now… even if it’s two days late, he’d still be really happy and relieved that you changed your mind.”

“What if he doesn’t want to give it to me anymore?” Hinata bites his lower lip. “I mean… I was an asshole for rejecting a gift that he probably worked on. He did say that he likes customized gifts, after all… so I think it’s safe to assume that he must have worked on it…”

“I don’t think Komaeda-kun would not want to give the gift to you anymore. Especially since if he indeed has customized it, he must have really meant for you to receive the gift… He probably wouldn’t want anything else to happen to it aside from being received by you.”

“You make a good point…” Hinata bites his lower lip, nodding. “I’ll try my best.”

“Good luck, Hinata-kun. You can do it.” Naegi smiles, nodding too. “Anyway… Should we talk about the good news that you wanted to tell me now?”

Hinata looks like he still wants to let Naegi continue talking about himself, but he probably realizes that the topic already shifted to him anyway despite his wish for it to not be. So he just takes a deep breath, forcing another small smile. “Alright… Well, I did say earlier that it’s pretty big, right? But I guess I haven’t fully absorbed it yet because… well, normally, I probably would scream and jump because of it.”

It’s that big, huh. “That’s possible. Especially if it’s news this big, sometimes the reaction just gets really delayed… But what is it?”

“Well, I…” Hinata lightly scratches his cheek. “…I'm being invited to the main course. Finally.”

Naegi’s time stopped.

What?

Seriously, what?

“Well, maybe one of the reasons why I haven’t fully absorbed it yet because it isn’t really absolute for now.” Hinata forces a chuckle. “I mean… There's a final test I have to take. It’s pretty shitty-sounding, but the talent they're offering to me was, well… Super High School Level Test Taker. They explained to me that to pass tests, you don’t really have to be intelligent, and that test-taking is a talent on its own… I know it sucks compared to everyone else’s talents and that it sounds really half-assed,  but… it’s better than nothing.”

Naegi didn’t know about this. He wasn’t informed that it was possible for someone in the Reserve Course Department to actually get reconsidered in the main course for real. He thought that that was just a marketing lie to attract gullible and rich families.

“They said that I… well, possibly… have that talent because even if I'm an average student, I was able to keep up with Hope’s Peak’s students and even managed to have higher grades than them.” Hinata lets out another sheepish smile. “It sounds pretty embarrassing, being put like that, but I shouldn’t complain.”

Naegi’s glad that Hinata seems to be so absorbed in telling his good news that he hasn’t noticed that Naegi wasn’t replying at all. He couldn’t be happy about this. Enoshima didn’t tell him about this possibility at all. She only opened that option about lobotomy.

She did this on purpose.

Naegi just knows that she did.

“That’s really…” Naegi slowly shakes his head, forcing out the best proud smile that he can manage. He has to look happy about this or else he’d seem suspicious. “…That’s really excellent, Hinata-kun! I'm seriously happy for you! This will be so great—you're right that things are indeed looking good for you!”

“Haha, thanks.” Hinata looks embarrassed about Naegi’s comments. Seems Naegi was able to put on a convincing smile despite the rage that he currently wants to unleash. “But it’s not like it’s already fixed, you know. I still have to pass that test. It’s too early to fully celebrate, I guess…”

“Oh, come on! Both you and I know that you'll pass that test really easily!” Naegi excitedly nods. “I'm so happy for you, Hinata-kun. I mean it.”

“Thank you so much, Naegi. You’ve been… really supportive right from the start. I’ll never get tired of saying that if ever you need anything, you can always tell me.”

“I’ll never forget that.” Naegi smiles. “Well, if it’s okay, can I just ask when Hinata-kun will take that test? I’d want to personally wish you good luck on the day itself.”

“Oh, thanks, I’ll need that.” Hinata smiles back. “It’s exactly next week in that room I exited earlier. I was actually… given the prerogative not to go to class starting tomorrow until the day itself so that I could do the preparations that I’d think necessary. They'd even cover up for me again like they always do… but I'm still thinking if that’s good to do. I mean, the lessons that might get discussed during the time I'm allowed to be absent might possibly help me out during the test, right?”

“Possibly.” Naegi nods. “Did they say the exact coverage of the test?”

“Not really… They just said that it was a good summary of all the Hope’s Peak’s exams up to date.”

“I see.” Naegi forces another smile. He badly wants this conversation to just end already. “Then I guess it’d be better if you attend class. Good luck, Hinata-kun. I'm sure you can do it.”

“Thank you…” Hinata smiles back. “I want to tell Komaeda too, to be honest… but I guess I’ll wait until I pass. And when I do… even if he might hate me, I’ll… tell him everything that I’ve been hiding from him.”

“I'm sure he won’t hate you.” Naegi wishes that ‘everything’ includes confessing to listening in on them that night and acting asleep even if he wasn’t that time he had a fever. “Anyway, it’s getting late. I think we should go back now.”

“Ah, right.” Hinata immediately looks panicked. “I'm so sorry for keeping you, Naegi. Thank you so much for listening to me again. I swear, someday, I’ll repay you.”

“No need.” Naegi smiles, nodding at him. “…And oh, right, I almost forgot that I actually have somewhere to go to first before going back! Sorry I couldn’t walk with you back today, Hinata-kun. You can go ahead of me.”

“Oh, okay, I understand.” Hinata nods too. “Thanks again. See you soon.”

Naegi echoes Hinata’s words, and as he looks at the latter’s retreating back, his urge to throw something out of a window from a high place goes stronger. He just wants to break something, anything really, because Enoshima surely knew about this, and she purposefully opted not to tell him right away.

He can’t believe that he's being played with too.

He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, and he wants to throw it across the place too, but that would be too impractical. So he just slowly takes the phone from the inside, doing his best to calm down, and he almost really lost it when he sees that the messages were from none other than Enoshima herself.

‘Hey, don’t let your rage blind you! Won’t be too cool if you lose your usual ~calm and composed~ self, after all :-)’

‘How do you feel? Are you despairing right now, Naegi-kun?’

‘Just remember that all I wanted was to motivate you. Don’t forget motivation, alright, cutiepatootie?’

He doesn’t reply to her. He never does because who knows to whom she might leak whatever he says. So he just turns off the phone, puts it back in his pocket, and looks up to the third floor of the building. Her messages were too opportune, so he guesses that she's most probably watching somewhere. It’d be too easy to spot her if she takes position in the second floor, and that’s why the third was his guess.

And he wasn’t mistaken.

There she was, waving at him, flashing him a peace sign afterwards.

As for him, he can’t stop wishing for her to fall off from where she's standing.

‘I'm not stupid.’ That is what he would have sent as a reply if only doing so won’t leave permanent proof. ‘I know what you mean, and I’ll get to it soon.’