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The Talk

Summary:

Lex has to give Conner the dreaded sex talk.

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This shouldn't be that hard, right? Sure, giving a regular teenager 'The Talk' is embarrassing or stressful for regular parents, but Kon isn't a regular teen and Lex isn't a regular parent. Konner is a very intelligent individual who probably doesn't even need Lex to go over this with him. This'll be a short and sweet talk, right?

Lex shakes his head,trying to chase away the stupid self doubt chewing at the back of his mind. Raising a fist to lightly knock on the bedroom door, he hears a soft 'Yeah!?' come from the room, taking that as as much of a 'Please come in!' as he's probably going to get.

Rolling his eyes as he opens the door, Lex sees Konner floating above his bed with his legs crossed and holding a game controller in his hands, never once pulling his eyes from the screen of the TV mounted on the wall. "Ko-One second! Online game!"

Crossing his arms over his chest, Lex waits patiently for Konner to finish, having had his fair share of games interrupted by parents or roommates that didn't understand the concept of an online game not being able to be paused.

"Yes! Haha! Owned!!" Konner happily exclaims, his arms raising in victory with a bright smile on his face as he extends his legs out to stretch while still floating. Deciding he's taking the golden opportunity he's been given, Lex hits him with the classic "Are ya winnin' son?"

"BOOO! Don't quote memes at me! You're too old for that!"

"I'll quote memes at you all I want and don't call me old! Besides, isn't there an age rating on that game? You are only 6 months old"

"Fall Guys is rated E for everyone!"

Pointing at the screen defensively, Konner gives Lex an "I told you!" so look as his father looks at the screen, only for Lex to roll his eyes when he sees the overly cartoony characters.

"Alright fine, fine..." Konner sticks his tongue out at Lex who quietly takes a seat at Konner's desk. Shooting Lex a confused glance before dropping the controller down onto his bed, shifting his body so that he'd be laying on his stomach on the bed if he wasn't floating above it.

"Konner stop floating, we need to talk" Panic wraps it's way through Konner when he hears that. "Whatever Dr.Marshall said is a lie! I didn't do anything!" "This isn't-What what did you do to Dr.Marshall?" Tapping his foot and giving Konner that stereotypical parental, disapproving gaze, Konner curses himself for the self incrimination.

"Nothing..." Giving a sheepish smile, flashing Lex his big blue eyes in an attempt to dig himself out of whatever hole he's dug. "We'll circle back to that..." Trailing off, having decided to put a pin in whatever Konner might've done to poor Dr.Marshall...

"Let's not?" Kon gives Lex double finger guns, trying his damnedest to sound confident but failing as soon as Lex gives him a proper yet soft glare. "Konner, down." "Yes sir..."

Kon cuts the flying, falling onto the bed with a loud thud as the box spring squeaks and squeals at the sudden weight dropped onto it. "What's up Dad? You look tense and your heartbeat is pretty fast..."

Lex sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Konner don't listen to peoples heartbeats without permission,I've told you it's highly invasive..." "I can't help it! You know my hearing is sensitive!" Lex drops his glasses back down so they're placed properly on the bridge of his nose as he looks to Konner.

Despite his psychical presentation being that of an older teen, Konner is still only a little over 6 months old. Accelerated aging working wonders during the cloning process, only to now have left Lex (and Slade) with an adolescent that has knowledge that rivals tenured professors in multiple fields of study, the curiosity of a 4 year old exploring the world for the first time by themselves, and common sense that fluctuates like the weather changes. And that's not even touching the superhuman aspects of Konner's being.

So Lex is not surprised to find Konner pouting at him, his arms crossed over his chest, his bottom lip jutting outward and his brows furrowed as he looks at his father. "I know your hearing is sensitive, but atleast try to act like you're not doing it." "Fine..." Dropping his arms down with the scowl still present, Kon runs his left hand over his blankets before gently tugging at a loose thread.

Konner tilts his head to look at Lex who is visibly nervous. His knee is bouncing up and down, he's not making eye contact nor even looking directly at him, and most telling is that he's fiddling with his glasses. Lifting them slightly before putting them back down, repeatedly cleaning them, or just touching them in general.

"You alright Dad?" "I'm fine Konner..." "Why do you look constipated then?" The out of pocket comment nearly sends Lex, sputtering out a shocked laugh before clearing his throat, trying not to encourage Konner. "God Konner..." Pleased he managed to get Lex enough to laugh a little, Kon smiles and chuckles himself.

"Konner, we need to...discuss somethings..." "O...k...?" "You're....you...god damn it how do I..." Putting his hands in his hands briefly before looking back at Konner who just looks confused.

"Konner what do you know about Sex?"

"...You looking for tips?"

"Konner!"

"I couldn't help it! You set me up for that! It was funny, don't lie!"

"Konner, I am being serious!"

That's when it clicks with Konner what this might be. "Oh god Dad no! I do not need the sex talk!" Swallowing his embarrassment, Lex attempts to continue. "Konner, this kind of dialogue is important! You're...getting to-to present that age where you might...start to have feelings that you might...fuck I'm so bad at this." Lex can't help how awkward he feels talking about this to his clone, artificially aged up, teen son.

And Kon can't take how embarrassing this all is. "PLEASE STOP!!!" Throwing himself onto the bed, grabbing a pillow and covering his head with it, attempting to hide and wishing he would just disappear from here.

"Konner let's try to approach this with a mature attitude..." Lex's eye twitching at the immature display, but he repeats the words Slade said to him before he came in here. "Just try and remember, he's still a kid." Slade is right, Konner is going to be immature because he's still a teenager(well technically he's a damn baby if you want to be pedantic).

"I don't need this talk Dad! I already know about sex!" "...You do...?" "Of course I do! I know all about sexual intercourse! It's when two or more people engage in sexual activities! It can include penetrative, oral, or other forms of sexual acts involving genitalia!" Konner all but screams out from under the pillow he's still hiding under.

"Oh...Well then I guess you really don't need this talk..." Lex is too fucking relieved, words can't even begin to describe the weight that was almost instantly lifted off his shoulders once he heard that. Surely if Konner has that firm of a grasp of intercourse, he doesn't need this awkward conversation.

"Glad to know Konner, guess those intelligence modules covered more than I thought. If you don't have any questions, I'll leave you to your games! Slade will be picking up dinner, so dont snack too much." With a calm smile on his face, Lex goes to open the door to Konner's room to leave, only to be stopped when he hears Konner call out to him.

"I mean...I do have some questions..." Lex's heart drops into his stomach and his hand flinches from the door knob when he hears that. "Y-you do...?" Lex hates to admit but he almost sounds scared.

Konner pulls the pillow off of his head and sits up a bit straighter, looking at Lex with a halfhearted smile. "Oh god..." His shoulders dropping just a tad, Lex turns back to his son with a forced, and very unconvincing, smile. "Sure...what're your questions?"

Lex stays standing right where he is near the door, internally planning on bolting out the door if the conversation takes a turn Lex decides he isn't ready to deal with.

"So like...penetrative sex...thats like..when the penis goes in something, right?" 'Oh dear fuck, kill me now...' Lex thinks to himself, trying to wrap his head around the best way to answer this. "Yes, that's correct...Penetrative sex is when a penis enters the vagina..."

"Ok but what if it's two guys?" "That-That's still penetrative sex Konner, it's just anal and not vaginal..." "Oh...ok..."

Praying to whoever might be listening, Lex begs that to be the only question. "That it...?" "But what if it's more than two people?" "Oh god, that...that would be a threesome..." "Huh...Alright but what if it's more than 3?"

"That's an orgy and I'd rather change the subject..." "When it's two penises involves...who goes in who?" "Kill me..." Lex drops his head when he hears that, Konner just watching him curious for the answer. "Well, some people switch...some people only like giving and some people on like receiving...it just depends..." "But how do you figure out what you like?"

...What did he do to deserve this? Genuinely, what did Lex do to deserve this? Having to explain the intricacies of sexual discovery with his son was not on his bingo card for the day.

"It's about...it happens...sometimes you just figure it out? Learn what you like by trying...? Trial by fire?" Lex is struggling for an answer that won't just garner more questions.

Looking down, almost like he's contemplating something, Konner puts a hand to his chin before turning his attention back to Lex.

"Ok so what about you and Slade? Who goes in who there?"

"Konner! I am not answering that question!"

"Jeez ok! No need to get all defensive...I just...I don't get relationship stuff like that! Like who does what in a relationship! What do you do when you want to have sex but your partner doesn't! How do you know you want someone to be your partner! How do you know if you even want a partner...I just don't get it!" Throwing his hands up in defeat and looking annoyed at his own confusion.

Taking a step or two towards Konner, intrigued by the statement, it's Lex's turn for a follow up. "What do you mean Konner?" "I don't know...I don't think I get it..." Scoffing and shaking his head lightly, Lex can't help but be a little charmed by the honesty.

"I mean I know I love you and Slade, that's a given...but not the way I see you two love eachother...I know there's different types of relationships...but I don't really get any of them..."

"Konner, relationships...they..." Lex starts, hoping he'll find any sign he's going in the right direction but no word sounding quiet right. Konner just looks at Lex with a genuine expression, one saying that he needs some form of an answer to know he's not an idiot. To be assured that he's not asking bad questions or is a bad person for not getting this sort of thing.

Figuring he's getting nowhere by tiptoeing around this, Lex decides to drop the professional and distant aura he's tried to present himself with during this whole interaction. Running a hand through his hair and sighing heavily, Lex walks over and sits on the bed, still leaving some space between him and Konner.

"Alright...you wanna know how you know you like a person? You realize you wanna be around them more, you hate when they're not around, or you miss them more than you miss other people." Lex starts, not looking at Konner but just staring off into space as he speaks.

"You realize you want a partner when you feel like being friends or coworkers isn't enough. People can have whatever roles they want in a relationship as long as no one is getting hurt and everyone is a consenting party. If you wanna have sex but your partner doesn't, you masturbate. That answer some questions?"

Finally turning to look at Konner, Lex has a calm expression but an awkward half smile on his face. "Some yeah..." Hanging his head low, Konner is speaking with a quiet voice. "What others do you have?"

"I...How did you and Slade get together?" "Huh?" "You know, You and Slade. You're together right? How did that happen?"

"We...we were coworkers and over time we got closer...We found something in eachother that we haven't found in someone else before...something we wanted or that we were missing..."

"Does it always feel like you're missing something? I don't feel like I'm missing anything..."

"Not always, sometimes you don't think you're missing something until you find it...and you're still young...you shouldn't feel like you're missing anything right now, not dating wise anyway..."

"But will I?" "You might...It's different for everyone...sometime people feel like they never want or need to date, and sometimes people date but don't really want a long term partner. They don't inherently go hand in hand. Sometimes it's fun just to meet people, have some fun, but never go for an actual relationship...It's all wildly dependent on the person."

"Huh...I guess I think that makes sense..." "Some things don't make sense until you run into them...But if that happens...Just come to me or Slade, alright? I don't want you to get fucked up information..."

"Alright...OK Dad, thanks..."

Lex stands up, walking back towards the door, feeling pretty good about the whole interaction. Konner also feels better, knowing he can come to Lex with these sorts of questions does bring him some sort for comfort.

"Hey Dad, I do have one more question..." Turning back to face Konner, Lex gives a soft smile, one that reads like he's far more willing to answer some of these.

"Yeah, what's up Konner?"

"What's masturbating?"

"Oh god..."

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