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Chapter Text

Chapter 1: Be Still

Her face almost pressing against the cool glass window of the black Bentley, Sakura's eyes squinted in the bright sunlight as she tried to take in what was standing so majestically beyond the confinements of the luxurious car. Through the window, the starry-eyed twenty-five-year-old could make out the intricate flower and dragon motifs that were skilfully carved onto the dark wooden entrance gate. The tips of the gate were polished with gold lacquer, making them gleam under the sun. It was spell-binding.

The grandeur of the façade right before her made her heart palpitate. She felt like a stranger in a strange land, acutely aware of her own ordinariness. She could not help but to be consumed by a remote sense of embarrassment for being… her. Her. Kinomoto Sakura of Tomoeda, a town that could not be more nondescript. But she was not one who backed down easily because she felt a twinge of fleeting intimidation.

"Fear no one," her beloved father, Fujitaka, would always say, "For we are all human beings."

The gates swung open in one fluid measured motion, allowing the car to pass through. Sakura passed by lush green foliage that flanked both sides of the road. The trees and bushes, she could tell, were meticulously tended to. Sakura gasped when the sight of neatly planted rows of peonies greeted her just before reaching the mansion. She felt as if she had entered fairy land. Everything around her felt so… magical. Wait, did she just experience a sparkle of something within her? It was intriguing, having the sensation of being pulled towards this foreign place. Opposites attract…? Sakura chuckled at the thought.

After what seemed like a long road trip, the car came to a stop in front of a pair of tall wooden doors with golden handles decorated with carved peonies. What's with the peonies? Sakura wondered, her brows raised as her eyes trailed around the main entrance of the mansion. Besides the vast doors, there was a beautifully carved plate with the Chinese character, Li, and a bronze bell hanging from the ceiling of the porch. A small yellow tag hung from it. Sakura felt strangely drawn to the peculiar-looking bell.

A lanky man with greying hair and a gentle face emerged from the mansion. He walked up to the car and opened the passenger door. "Welcome to the Li residence, Kinomoto-san," he greeted with a small smile on his face. The knots that had formed in Sakura's stomach from the moment she saw the black Bentley parked outside her humble abode loosened a little. It had looked so out of place in the neighbourhood where she resided in. She was sure curious eyes were on her as she climbed into the car. She could not have been more self-conscious at that moment.

Gingerly, Sakura swung her legs, the left one before the right, out of her seat, and bent a little lower as she emerged from the car to ensure she did not hit her head against the roof. She felt that it was important that she appeared as lady-like as possible in this aristocratic world. Sakura smoothened out her white knee-length pleated skirt which she had ironed at least twice over the last two days. Unconsciously, her grip on her off-white faux leather handbag tightened as her gaze fell on the tall, smiling man clad in a pair of long black pants and a green vest over a white long-sleeved shirt. A matching green bow accentuated his air of formality. He seemed an important figure in this household, Sakura was sure.

"I'm Wei, the Lis' butler," the kind-looking man introduced, placing a hand on his chest and giving a little bow.

"H-hello, Wei-san. It's nice to meet you," replied Sakura, returning his bow with her own.

Wei smiled and said, "Let me take you to Li furen's home office, Kinomoto-san. This way, please."

"H-hai." Sakura followed Wei into the breathtakingly huge house, her eyes darting back and forth. She mustered all her willpower to contain her immense awe at the vastness of the hallway and all the antiques that she was sure cost a fortune she would never amass in this lifetime. Her eyes landed on the Li family portrait that hung on the wall, right in the middle of a pair of spiral staircases. The younger man in the picture caught her attention. He looked dashing and charismatic, just like a prince. Now I know why handsome actors are always picked to act as males heirs in the dramas I watch, Sakura thought amusedly to herself.

After ascending one of the spiral staircases and passing by a few closed rooms, Wei stopped in front of a double door. This must be the Mistress' home office, guessed Sakura. She took in a deep breath and braced herself. Wei knocked on the door. Sakura could sense an air of deference in the series of raps on the mahogany rosewood. There was no doubt that the lady behind these doors was a figure of extensive influence.

"Come in."

Wei gently pushed the door open and gestured for Sakura to enter. Gathering all the little confidence she possessed, Sakura took a deep breath and trod into the room. It was as breathtaking as the mansion itself. On her left were windows that reached from the ceiling to the floor. The maroon curtains were drawn aside, allowing the bright sunlight to filter through, giving the room an air of warmth and cheeriness amidst the sombre aura the lady behind the large rosewood desk exuded. Her thick jet-black hair was weaved neatly into a high bun and she wore an auburn cheongsam with pink flowers. She seemed to be engrossed in the papers in her hands.

Sakura's heart thumped wildly in her chest as she waited with trepidation, like a criminal awaiting persecution. She felt ridiculous for reacting in that manner when in fact, she was called to this luxurious house by this very lady before her. She still remembered their conversation which took place just the previous day.

"Moshi moshi," greeted Sakura as she brushed her damp hair with one hand. It was nearly 10 p.m. She wondered who would call her at this time from an unknown number. She was beat from her cheerleading practice that was more intense than usual as the team was preparing for the Annual Spring Cheerleading Competition. She knew she would knock out once her head hit the pillows.

"Konnichiwa, is this Kinomoto Sakura-san?" It was a woman's voice which sounded steady and measured.

"H-hai," replied Sakura, her voiced tinged with hesitation. Was she in some kind of trouble that she was unaware of? Sakura shook her head and laughed silently at herself. She knew she was being silly having such unfounded thoughts. She was the most law-abiding, rule-following girl in the universe. She loved to have fun but she knew the importance of boundaries.

"I am Li Yelan, the Mistress of the Li household. I have received your application for the position of a live-in tutor at our household. May I know if you are still interested in this position?"

Sakura slapped her forehead with her free hand. That's right! A week ago, she had come across a job post that had captured her attention on the Internet. After clicking on the post, she was taken to a page that spelt out the position's key responsibilities and qualifications. Sakura pored over the text and nodded to herself as she mentally checked off each detail that she was able and qualified for. When she reached the bottom of the page, her eyes bulged. She counted the number of zeroes a few times in case she misread because of her post-training fatigue. She could not believe what her eyes were telling her. The salary amount was way higher than what a graduate like her would normally get. Perhaps the amount compensated for having to live in the household during the weekdays and Saturdays. Sakura shrugged and applied for the position. No harm trying, she had thought. If she were successful by some miracle, she did not have to worry about her daily expenses and could even help support her family with her brother. In time, she could even save up and make her dream come true.

With an infectious enthusiasm resonating in her every word, Sakura replied, "Yes, I am! Thank you for considering my application, Li-san!"

"Lovely. I will meet you two days from now at 11am, if that's alright with you." It was more like a statement than a request. It had the power to make one oblige.

"H-hai. I can make it," Sakura answered, almost bowing to her phone.

"Great. I'll see you then. Good night."

"Thank you and good night, Li-san." Sakura heaved a sigh of relief. Though the lady on the other end of the line sounded pleasant, Sakura could not help but to feel a heavy aura settling around her. Li Yelan was not one to mess around with.

Looking up from the piles of documents on her desk, Yelan eyed Sakura with an intensity that could bore through one's soul. Her lips twitched upwards as she placed the set of papers she was poring over down and took in what was before her.

This young girl, despite her nervousness, had a special power within her. She could not conclude with certainty what that power was but she was certain this girl could just be the answer to her prayers. Yelan was hardly taken in by anyone. But at that moment, she sensed the magic of affinity so strong that she could not help but to smile warmly at her, wanting to ensure she felt at ease as much as possible.

"Hello, Kinomoto-san," Yelan greeted in fluent Japanese.

Bowing so low that her head nearly touched the floor, Sakura said, "H-hello, Li-san. I-I'm Kinomoto Sakura."

Yelan smiled, gesturing to the maroon chair opposite her desk. "Have a seat".

"Thank you." Sakura sat down slowly, careful to make as little noise as possible. She placed her handbag on her lap, still clutching the straps with death-like grip.

"Thank you for taking time to meet with me today. I hope the journey was a pleasant and comfortable one," said Yelan, intertwining her fingers and resting her chin on them. She gazed at her candidate with keen interest.

"Yes, it was. I really appreciate your kindness, Li-san." Sakura smiled, relaxing a little.

Unfurling her fingers, Yelan sat back in her chair and continued to watch the girl right before her. Silence sat between the two women for a good few minutes.

Sakura's eyes roamed about the room, as she waited for her potential employer to speak. She was still not speaking. The silence was drowning her… Hoee… should I say something? Sakura felt as if she was a specimen being studied. She thought she was going to burst in this balloon of awkward silence. She had never been to such a… quiet interview. Plastering a smile on her face, Sakura allowed the Mistress of the Li household to 'scan' her with her intense gaze.

After what seemed like a decade, Yelan broke the stillness. "In silence, you can hear things that you will not otherwise. It is a form of discipline- to quieten the world around you and just listen in." She pointed a slender finger at her heart. "You gain much more when it is still, here."

As though a reflex, one of Sakura's hands ran up to the left of her chest. Still, be still, have faith. They had been wise words from her father. This lady, despite her regal mannerisms and appearance, felt so motherly. Sakura noticed her eyes were kind and gentle, and her smile was as warm as the morning sun. The knots in her stomach loosened some more. The sparse verbal exchange between them dispelled the uneasiness Sakura had had earlier on.

Yelan studied the honey-haired girl for a full minute before she broke the silence, "You understand the job scope, I would assume."

Slightly taken aback, Sakura stammered, "Y-yes, I am aware, Li-san."

"Good. The job scope that you've read on the website is what will be expected of you as our household's live-in tutor. I take it that you're perfectly fine with it?"

"Yes."

"Great. Here is the document that I will need you to sign. Therein lays out the terms and conditions of the position that you have applied for. Read them and if all is well with you, you may sign it on the last page." Yelan handed Sakura a set of neatly bound papers and a pen.

Sakura stared at the papers and up at her interviewer incredulously. "I-I'm hired?"

Yelan chuckled. "Yes, my child."

Sakura stood up and took a step forward to receive the document. She was baffled by the sudden acceptance of her to this job. There were no other questions typically asked in a job interview. But it seemed like Li Yelan knew what she was doing. Perhaps her eyes could see through what normal people could not, Sakura thought to herself, she is a woman of intuition. Still, it was unbelievable that she was hired just by sitting on the maroon chair in Li Yelan's study and saying little. It was queer but she shook off any doubtful thoughts, thanking the heavens she had somehow passed this job interview and was going to be compensated handsomely for her duties that she would be executing as soon as she started her role as the Lis' live-in tutor.

Sakura read line by line, her head swimming as she tried to fully understand every single term and every single condition written on the contract. You can never be too careful, kaijuu. Make sure you read every single word. And ask questions. Her ever cautious onii-chan would always nag before she went for any job interview.

She was almost seeing stars by the time she was done scrutinising the document. Her intuition told her all was well. She could trust this family. "All's good, Li-san."

Yelan smiled. "Great. You may sign on the last page."

There was a rustling of papers as Sakura flipped the document to the last page. She twisted the pen open and signed her name.

"Welcome to our family, Kinomoto-san." Yelan rose to her feet and proffered her hand. Sakura took it, marveling at her tall, slender stature. "You will expect Sakamoto-san two days from now at 8 in the morning." She gave a small smile.

Two days. She would have two days to pack and tell her family. That should be enough. After all, she led the minimalist lifestyle here in Tokyo and her family was always supportive of her decisions. They trusted her to exercise wisdom. Well, except for Kinomoto Touya.

Sakura could hear her heels clack away as she made her way to the hotel's star restaurant, Kuriya. Tomoyo had requested to meet after she had told her about her new job. She saw Tomoyo wave her hand at her, beaming.

Sakura made a beeline over to where Tomoyo was seated and plopped herself onto the wine-coloured sofa seat opposite her best friend.

"Look what I've got you!" Tomoyo whispered, trying to stifle the squeal that threatened to come out from within her. She placed a huge bag on the table and unzipped it for Sakura to see what was inside.

Sakura hovered over the opened bag and gasped, "Clothes! So many of them!"

"Yes! I've been designing and making several dresses, tops and bottoms for you during my free time. I planned to give them to you when you've found a new job. They are all work-friendly outfits! I'm so happy for you, Sakura-chan! Now cannot be a better time to give these to you so you can look your best every day at the Li mansion!" Tomoyo gushed.

Pleasantly surprised and grateful at the same time, Sakura rose from her feet, went over to her talented and selfless friend and hugged her tightly. "I'm so blessed, Tomoyo-chan!"

Tomoyo squeezed back and said, "You're welcome, Sakura-chan. Do keep in touch, won't you?"

"Of course! You sound like I'm going somewhere far away. I'll still be in Tokyo," laughed Sakura.

"I know. But you will be staying at the Li mansion most days of the week and we won't be able to meet up as often. SO. I expect daily updates!" Tomoyo raised an index finger in front of her best friend, as if to say "or else".

Sakura rolled her eyes but grinned at her. "As you wish, my lady." Sakura staged an exaggerated curtsy. Tomoyo gave her a friend a light-hearted shove, giggling.

"I said, it's over." It was a man's voice. It sounded cold, resolute and… empty. It gave Sakura the chills. She shuddered at the glacial tone.

Then, Sakura and Tomoyo heard sobs coming from the table next to theirs. From the corners of her eyes, Sakura could see the woman's shoulders heaving up and down as she sobbed into her napkin. Tomoyo sat stiffly as she tried to avoid gazing at the scene next to her. She cast a furtive glance at the sobbing woman and her face contorted in pity.

"She must have got her heart broken," Sakura spoke in a hushed tone as she leaned over the table.

Tomoyo sighed sympthetically. "Yeah, I believe. Poor girl."

In the midst of the heartbroken woman's sobs, the man stood up, his chair scraping the floor. The scratchy noise made by the chair seemed to signal the end of whatever conversation that had gone on between the two of them. A note of finality.

Sakura turned her head slightly to that curious table and saw the man write a cheque and push it to the black-haired woman. She was clad in a stunning red off-shoulder dress and even though Sakura did not have a full view of her, she could see that this lady was beautiful. A pity to have this beauty trashed by what the man had said to her. Sakura's heart went out to her and prayed silently that she would be alright.

As the brown-haired man took his leave, the red-dressed woman sobbed even harder.

"I see that you have broken yet another lady's heart," Hiiragizawa Eriol remarked, his face placid. "So what was her response to your cold-hearted break-up speech? I hope it's less dramatic than the previous one," he teased, concealing his amusement.

Even though this was not the first episode of Li Syaoran, the notorious heartbreaker of the century, shattering a woman's heart into smithereens, Eriol always found it morbidly fascinating how women would still desire his unfeeling distant cousin despite being fully aware of the impossibility of a 'happily ever after' ending with the Li heir. Perhaps each of them held on to their own little fantasies that the 'bad boy', Li Syaoran, would be conquered by their love for him. So far, none had been successful in their conquests.

"Mmm," Syaoran answered tersely, taking a swig of his green juice, his other free arm hung loosely over the taupe armchair in the Lis' living room. "She cried."

"Even after you handed her the break-up… gift?" Eriol's azure eyes glinted in mischief.

Syaoran glared at his cousin, unwilling to discuss his latest break-up episode any further.

"Seriously, cousin, when are you going to settle down? You have only so much time to… explore your options. Doesn't your mother want you married soon? You're turning twenty-five in a few months," Eriol stated, pulling himself closer to his cousin who was shooting him daggers with his eyes.

"You're nagging, Hiiragizawa," warned Syaoran. To quell his dark-haired cousin's rising concern about his lack of a suitable life partner, he added, "All the girls I've dated have been Mother's requests. I was obliged to go on dates with them, and see how things went. You know that."

"I know. But it's been, what, at least a dozen of such dates?" Eriol knew why the women his obstinate cousin had dated had all been unceremoniously ditched after just a few dates. It was no doubt that his potential life partners were all gorgeous and came from prestigious families. They had pretty immaculate personalities too, or so they seemed. A highly critical and suspicious man because of his family background, Li Syaoran did not trust easily. He knew what all those women wanted - the Lis' name and prestige. They… loved him for what they thought they could get from being his wife. They craved the limelight and attention.

Shallow - the word that would always pop up in his mind when he sat across the table listening to every one of the women his mother had introduced him ramble on about herself. He always could not wait to get each date over and done with so he could escape from the torture of boring conversations and flirtatious gestures. They irked him. Besides, he was not in a hurry to tie any knots yet. Still. Unhurried. Wait.

"You know what all those women want," Syaoran replied dismissively, wanting to put the conversation to an end. He gulped down the remaining green juice and stood up. "I have a long day tomorrow. I'll see you at the office," Syaoran began, stretching his neck left and right.

Eriol raised his eyebrows and smirked. "As you say, dear cousin." With a small wave of his hand, he bade him goodbye and left for the front door.

A/N: Please read and review. Thank you! :D

Chapter Text

Chapter 2: Shimmers

“Thank you, Sakamoto-san,” Sakura chirped, flashing the Lis’ driver, who held the door open for her, with an infectious grin. The smartly clothed middle-aged man bowed and offered a gloved hand to her. Sakura took it as she climbed out of the car.

Like her first visit, she was welcomed by the Lis’ butler, Wei. Like her first visit, the elderly man’s kind smile quietened her wildly thumping heart. Even though she had a lovely first experience at the Lis’ mansion two days ago, Sakura was still a bundle of nerves. Li Yelan seemed like an approachable and warm lady, but she could not be sure of the other members in the household, especially the children who would be under her care from this day forth. She wondered how they were like. Mischievous? Sweet? Rebellious? She only prayed they would be kind to her. After all, her only experience with children was when she and her cheerleading team volunteered at an orphanage. They had taught them basic cheerleading stunts and routines, and interacted with them during lunch. The children had been a genial and lively bunch. It had been a pleasant and enriching experience for Sakura and her team.

“Welcome, ojou-san,” Wei greeted, giving the young lady before him a slight bow. Behind the elderly gentleman stood two maidservants clad in simple turquoise cheongsams. Mimicking the household’s veteran, they bowed, a notch deeper.

Sakura inclined her head in reciprocation. When her emerald eyes met his wrinkled ones, she smiled. “Hello, Wei-san. Please call me Sakura.”

“You are very kind, Sakura-san,” Wei answered deferentially. “I will take you to furen’s home office. The two young ladies here will bring your belongings to your room, which you will be shown after your meeting with furen.”

“Th-Thank you.” Sakura gave the two dark-haired maidservants a modest bow.

Sakura followed the kind butler into the house. Instinctively, she tilted her head upwards to gaze at that riveting golden bell that had caught her attention when she first stepped into the compound the day before. The small yellow tag was still hanging from it but this time, Sakura saw a dust of glitter dancing around it. She blinked a few times to ensure her eyes were not playing a trick on her. The bell swayed in a circular motion, giving off a light melodious chime as the clapper hit its metallic interior. Like magic, the outline of the bell shimmered. Sakura wanted to ask Wei if the bell had some sort of magic enclosed within it but decided to keep mum for now. She did not want to risk being labelled as an eccentric. Since young, Sakura had an uncanny ability to see beyond the physical realm. She saw wonder, beauty and power in the most ordinary of things. Apart from her onii-chan, otou-san and her best friend, Daidouji Tomoyo, she had kept it as her own little secret.

Like her first visit, Sakura was spellbound as she glanced around the opulent house that she thought she would only see in dramas. This time round, Sakura caught a whiff of sweet fragrance that permeated every square inch of the hallway. It was strange but amazing how the scent made her feel… embraced. She took a deep breath, inhaling its every molecule into her being. She tried to find the source of the heavenly smell by looking around the hallway. She saw vases of pink and white flowers decorating the various corners and sides of the pair of spiral staircases. Could it be from these flowers?

Curious, Sakura piped up, “Wei-san, what are these flowers called?”

With a gentle lilt, Wei answered, “They are peonies. They are a favourite in the Li household.”

Sakura nodded in acknowledgement. “I see. I guess the sweet scent in this room comes from the peonies?”

With his eyebrows slightly raised, Wei replied, “You have a sharp sense of smell, Sakura-san.

“Why aren’t you packing up?”

The CEO of Li Corporation glared at the speaker, clearly annoyed. The right hand side of his computer was piled with unfinished documents that needed his perusal and approval. Other than that, his desk, which was made of fine walnut wood, was as neat as a pin.

Fiddling with his platinum-coated, black Montblanc ballpoint, the Li heir said plainly, “I still have these to look through.” He nodded towards the stack of papers and files.

“Well, my busy CEO cousin, those can wait but your Mother’s summoning us to dinner at home this evening cannot wait.”

Syaoran sighed in exasperation. “You know it’s her ploy to get me to…”

“… mate?” Eriol chimed in, his eyes glinting with mischief.

“Yeah, whatever you call it.” Syaoran tossed his pen aside and leaned back against his black leather swivel chair, closing his eyes. He exhaled in vexation. Ever since he had turned twenty-one, his mother had been throwing girls at him in the hopes of getting her only son to tie the knot with someone from a reputable family and worthy of supporting the future leader of the Li clan. Woman after woman, heartbreak after heartbreak – he had enough. Then again, he could not bring himself to displease his mother who, well, only had his best interests at heart. Syaoran respected and wanted to honour her as best as he could. After all, she had raised him and his four sisters single-handedly since the death of the late Old Master Li. He did not want to break her heart. Hence, he had always agreed to meet the women his mother had set up for him, though he had not once invested his heart in any of them. Just one look and he knew there was no chance he could spend the rest of his life with those women his mother had sourced for him.

Not wanting to appear as though he weren’t putting in any effort, one month was the time frame he would give for each of the women. After that, he would break it off, explaining to his mother she was not a good fit. At such news, the Mistress of the Li household would sigh in disappointment and promise to find him another potential life partner.

“You know you can’t keep delaying your engagement forever, right?” his mother would say.

“I know, Mother. But things just didn’t work out,” he would reply.

“You think too much, dear cousin. It’s just an innocent dinner to welcome your family’s new live-in tutor. I know your mother. She is the sort who tries to make others feel welcome as much as possible,” Eriol explained matter-of-factly, although there was a trace of doubt in his words.

Not wanting to be nagged further, Syaoran rose from his chair, picked up his briefcase and suit jacket, and headed for the door. “You win, Hiiragizawa.”

With a triumphant smile, Eriol held open the door, bent over his waist and said in mock servitude, “After you, ouji-sama.”

Syaoran paused at the exit and rolled his eyes. “Cut the crap, Hiiragizawa. Let’s go.”

“As you wish, ouji-sama,” Eriol jested, closing the door behind him when they were both out of the office.

Sakura plopped herself onto the plush, cloud-like bed, taking in the details of the room she had been given in the enormous Li mansion. The walls were painted a cream colour, peppered with soft yellow floral prints. Against the right side of the room was a white dressing table with a luxurious stone top and matching stool. Next to it was a compact study desk with a clean, white finish, and two drawers which provided ample storage space for Sakura’s paperwork paraphernalia. In front of the desk was a neutral cream-coloured office chair with faux leather upholstery and a swivel base in walnut laminate finish. A few standing lamps dotted her room and a ceiling fan with adjustable LED brightness and colours hung from the centre of the ceiling. On the left side was a white, elegant wardrobe with sliding doors. Just above the headboard of Sakura’s bed was a frame of abstract oil painting in hues of yellow and blue. Two simple white bedside tables were on either side of her bed, both of which had identical table lamps made of ceramic and cloth materials. On one of the tables was a telephone.

Running her hand over the supple sheets, Sakura smiled to herself. She had expected a basic room with minimal furniture, perhaps even more rudimentary than her rented apartment she had just vacated. She felt as if she had been showered with blessings when Wei had shown her to this very room that she could now call her own. She thought she had walked into a posh hotel room. There was everything that she needed and more. There was even an exquisitely decorated en-suite bathroom just beside her wardrobe. The room smelled like fresh flowers – truly a balm to the soul. Sakura could not feel more thankful for Li-san’s generosity. Wei had told her that this room was specially chosen for her. Her. Kinomoto Sakura, just another ordinary girl, a drop in the ocean.

Spreading her arms and legs comfortably on the bed and heaving a blissful sigh, Sakura fell into a gentle slumber.

He blinked once. Then twice. Did he see right? He was quite sure that he saw the house bell shimmer in pink and lilac. The few occasions when the only Li son noticed subtle changes in the appearance of the bell were when something significant or impending was about to happen. He remembered he first saw the bell shift in its exterior when his father was about to pass away. Its usual golden colour had turned dark. It no longer gleamed in the sunlight. As the family gradually walked out of their own grief, the bell slowly returned to its original state of gold. The second time the bell changed was when two of his sisters gave birth to his nephews and nieces. It had emitted a jade green glow. He recalled how his heart had swelled with joy as he cradled each of the precious little babies in his arms.

Li Syaoran’s eyes squinted at the bell. There was no mistaking the pink and lilac shimmer around the bell. It was different even if that one little change was ever so nuanced.

“You alright?” Eriol asked, more curious than concerned about what had made the Li heir stop in his tracks when everything in the compound was as usual. What had caught his attention in a familiar place such as his own house? He followed his cousin’s gaze which was quickly diverted at his words.

“Nothing. Let’s go in,” mumbled Syaoran as he quickened his steps and strode into the mansion, with Eriol trailing behind.

As he entered into the ever familiar hallway, his heart gave the tiniest leap which could easily be ignored as something unremarkable. He stilled it with his breath. In that brief moment when his heart was stirred, he was pulled into a memory that was tucked away for eleven years. In his mind’s eye, he saw his fifteen-year-old self knelt over his father’s bed, sobbing. He felt how he had felt then - anguished, scared, lost. He was losing the most important male figure in his life. Li Tian was the one who taught him the ways of a gentleman, how to wield a sword and harness magic to protect the ones he loved including himself, the importance of being calm and patient in all circumstances and many more which he had buried deep into the recesses of his soul along with his father’s still body. Even so, his father’s last words rang as clear as glass within him.

Follow your heart. Listen to it. It will lead you to where you are meant to be.

Sakura’s eyes widened and she had to stifle a gasp as she stepped into to the Lis’ dining hall. She was struck by its expansive space - it could fit at least ten of her own dining area back in her home in Tomoeda! The ceiling soared high above, adorned with intricate mouldings and a stunning crystal chandelier that took Sakura’s breath away. The hall was bathed in soft natural light from the setting sun, streaming through tall, arched windows.

A long, polished table, crafted from rich mahogany, dominated the centre, surrounded by plush, upholstered chairs, a few of which were already occupied. The table was elegantly set with fine china and sparkling crystal. In the middle of the table laid plates and bowls of delicacies.

Rich, opulent drapes framed the windows, their colours complementing the warm tones of the wood and the subtle hues of the walls. A grand sideboard displayed an array of exquisite serving pieces along the right side of the hall while photo frames that depicted the different moments of the Li family adorned the opposite wall.

Li Yelan occupied the seat at the head of table while two pairs of identical ladies sat opposite each other. There was some light chatter going on among them as they sipped from their wine glasses. When the eldest of the five spotted the awkward-looking girl standing near the foot of the massive dining table, she placed her glass lightly down and flashed her a warm smile.

“I hope you had a good rest, Sakura-san. Is the room to your liking?” Yelan asked kindly.

At their mother’s acknowledgement of the presence of a newcomer, four identical faces turned towards the stiff honey-haired girl.

Sakura nodded her head vigorously. “Yes, Li-san. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. I’m grateful beyond words.” At that, she gave a deep bow, hoping the act of reverence could convey her heartfelt thanks that words alone could not.

Yelan gave a good-natured chuckle. “You’re too polite, Sakura-san. It’s only right to provide the best for Haitang and Haitian’s live-in tutor.” Gesturing her over, she continued, “Sakura-san, these are my daughters - Fuutie, Shiefa, Fanren and Feimei.”

The four dashing women gazed at Sakura in pure curiosity and interest. Their stares, though harmless, were piercing, just like their mother’s. Sakura could not help but feel that she was being scanned to her bones. Not forgetting her manners despite her self-consciousness, she bowed and introduced herself, “I’m Kinomoto Sakura. It’s nice meeting all of you, onee-san.”

“Onee-san? Aww, isn’t she the cutest?” gushed one of the Li sisters. She wore a bob hairstyle and light makeup. Her outfit was a simple white blouse and dark green high-waisted skirt. Simplicity notwithstanding, she exuded unmatched elegance and charm. This jaw-dropping trait applied to the other three sisters.

What fine genes they have, Sakura thought to herself as she beheld the Li women in untainted admiration.

“Little Haitang and Haitian are going to love her!” the sister seated nearest to Yelan piped up. She had long tresses that were neatly braided with purple ribbons. She had the same kind face as her mother.

“I’m sure they will!” answered the other who was seated next to the one with the bob hairstyle. She had thick, wavy brown hair that cascaded gracefully to her lower back. She wore a pink floral dress and a matching hairband. She continued, “I’m Fuutie, Haitang and Haitian’s mother. I’m glad to have you as their tutor.” She beamed at Sakura who only blushed a light pink.

Bowing once more, Sakura promised, “I will do my best as their tutor and not disappoint you, onee-san.”

“Enough of all the formality, Sakura-san,” began the sister opposite Fuutie. Her voluminous brown tresses were tied smartly into a ponytail with a maroon ribbon. “Come and sit down with us. I bet you must be famished.” She gave the family’s guest a friendly wink.

From the little exchange with the ladies of the Li family, Sakura could feel the tension she had held on to since morning starting to melt away. Their candidness and affability proved her apprehension futile. Sakura weaved through the chairs and took the empty seat next to Fuutie. The maidservant standing behind her laid out a napkin on her lap.

“Thank you,” Sakura responded.

“Are the children almost ready, Nanny Zhang?” Yelan inquired.

A plump, tender-looking lady in her mid-fifties stepped forward from her position in the dining hall at her Mistress’s inquiry and said, “Furen, young master and young mistress are getting changed. They should be coming down about now.”

Sakura noticed how the nanny gave off a soothing presence. Her facial features were soft and she had a head of gracefully greying hair. Her hands, though calloused from years of menial work, looked welcoming and reassuring.

“I see. What about Xiao Lang? Is he reaching home soon?” This time, the question was directed at the elderly butler, Wei.

He took a few steps towards the Li Mistress and said, “Young Masters Xiao Lang and Eriol are on their way from the office. They should be…”

The oak double doors to the dining hall opened with a soft push by the maidservants, revealing two tall, broad frames.

The bespectacled man with dark hair strode towards Yelan and gave a small bow. “Good evening, Yelan-san.”

“Good evening, Eriol.” Yelan’s eyes shifted to the figure with neatly styled chestnut hair. “It’s nice to see you, Xiao Lang.”

Giving a curt nod, the only Li son replied, “Mother.”

“Come, sit.”

After the two men took their seats, Yelan turned to Sakura. Nodding towards each of the two latest additions to the dining hall, she said, “This is Eriol Hiiragizawa, a distant relative of our family. And this is Xiao Lang, my son.”

Sakura gave them a small smile.

“This is Kinomoto Sakura, Haitang and Haitian’s new tutor,” Yelan introduced.

Eriol, who was seated beside Sakura, turned to her and said, “Nice to meet you, Sa… Would you mind if I called you by your first name?” His azure eyes sparkled with playful delight, crinkling at the corners as his lips curved upwards. Though they glinted with mischief, those eyes radiated warmth that could lift one’s spirits. His gentle demeanour seemed to have the ability to tame the wildest souls.

“Of course,” replied Sakura, somehow feeling at ease in the presence of this pale-skinned stranger.

“Welcome, Sakura-san,” Eriol chirped, “And please call me Eriol.”

“Thank you, Eriol-san,” Sakura answered as she gave a little tilt of her head.

Across her was the only son of Li Yelan. He nodded his head in thanks as the maidservant gracefully unfolded the crisp napkin and placed it on his lap with a gentle motion. With a subtle elegance, he lifted the glass to his lips. He paused for a brief moment, seemingly savouring the crimson liquid before taking a measured sip. His expression was thoughtful as the rich flavour enveloped his senses. The movement was smooth and refined, embodying a sense of poise that seemed effortless.

Unlike Eriol, he was quiet and reserved most of the time unless being spoken to. Even then, his responses were laconic.

Just then, there was a thundering of the stairs and shortly after, the doors of the dining hall burst open and two dark-haired children tumbled in.

“Mother! Mother! I heard we have a new tutor today!” exclaimed the older of the two siblings, her voice a high-pitched melody of joy.

Her younger brother bounced on his toes, barely able to contain his excitement. “I can’t wait to meet her!”

“Children, calm down,” interjected Fuutie. She rose from her chair and went over to her children. She led them by their hands to their seats.

“Sakura-san, would you like to introduce yourself?” Yelan smiled encouragingly at the emerald-eyed girl who got up from her chair, readying herself to make a proper introduction to her students.

“My name is Kinomoto Sakura. I’ll be your tutor starting today. I hope we get along well.” Giving her brightest smile, Sakura looked into the eyes of the two children. Their faces lit up as they beamed back.

Haitang and Haitian took their seats next to their new tutor. Words tumbled out in a rush, each syllable bursting with energy as they shared their names, hobbies, likes and dislikes with their new tutor. Their hands waved animatedly, underscoring their eagerness to share every detail of themselves. Sakura found herself drawn to their innocence and boundless zest. They reminded her of herself when she was their age - so carefree, so fearless, so joyful. Granted, it was not like she had lost all excitement for life, neither was she so chained and shackled by responsibilities that she had become bitter and cynical. On the contrary, she was still her cheery and exuberant self, full of hope for the future. Although she had to shoulder greater responsibilities that are typical and expected of a twenty-five-year-old, and she had to admit at times that she wished life could be kinder to her, she always chose gratitude which invariably gave her the motivation and zeal to press on and delight in all that she got to do. Kinomoto Sakura was full of joy because of the hope she harboured in her heart.

Unknowingly, her gaze landed on Li Xiao Lang who was seated opposite her. He was quietly partaking of his dinner. He held his chopsticks with practised ease, his fingers poised delicately around the slender wooden utensils. As he lifted a piece of vegetable, his movements were fluid and precise. He navigated the intricacies of the meal, taking each bite purposefully and with care. Sakura glanced around the table, noticing that everyone ate their meal with so much grace and composure, even the boisterous siblings. Their upbringing was truly impeccable.

Sakura found her eyes roam back to the Li son. She watched him as discreetly as she could. He seemed to be wrapped up in his own zone where no one was to trespass without his permission. There was something about him that caused a twitch within her. He felt familiar. Had she seen him somewhere other than the family portrait in the hallway? That brown hair, aloof disposition, words that were curt and glacially calm… the hotel! The bitterly sobbing lady!

As if on cue, one of the Li sisters piped up, “So, Xiao Lang, how are things going between you and Wang Zhenni?”

There was a moment of silence before her brother spoke. “We ended things yesterday.”

“Oh.”

An audible sigh escaped Yelan’s mouth. “Xiao Lang, same reason as before?”

“Yes.”

Eriol chuckled. “Whoever is able to capture the heart of this Casanova must be a rare breed of women. Either that or an extinct species.”

Syaoran glared at the speaker, his eyes seemed as though they could devour him whole. “Eat your dinner, Hiiragizawa.”

Unfazed, Eriol chuckled again.

Casanova, huh. No wonder. He must have had so many suitors throwing themselves at him. Look at him. So handsome, so rich, so mysterious. Which woman wouldn’t want him? Sakura thought to herself. She could understand why women flocked to him despite his notorious reputation in the field of love and dating. This Li heir was generously endowed with every good thing in this world. Even so, she shuddered inwardly as she thought about the countless women whose hearts he had so mercilessly broken. What a frightening man.

Then, amber locked onto emerald. Their eyes met. Sakura froze. Crap, he caught me staring. She quickly looked away and pretended to be busy picking out bones from the bright orange salmon fillet on her plate.

At the front porch of the mansion, the bell chimed euphoniously, pink and lilac dust dancing around it, accompanied by a jade green glow.

“Moshi-moshi,” Sakura greeted cheerfully.

“What’s my love doing?”

Sakura giggled into her phone. “Nothing much. I’m just done with dinner. You called at the right time.”

Kimura Hideki replied smugly, “Kudos to our telepathic connection.”

Sakura smiled though her boyfriend of three years could not possibly see, even with their telepathic connection. “What’re you doing?”

“Thinking of you.”

“You and your sweet talk, Hideki-kun.” Sakura hopped onto her bed, twirling a strand of her auburn locks as she reveled in the voice of this man whom she had not met virtually in the past one week because of their busy schedules.

Sakura had met Kimura Hideki back in their university days. Captain of the basketball team, Hideki was the heartthrob among girls. Hence, Sakura was surprised that he had never dated anyone before her. She was even more surprised when he came up to her a week before graduation to ask her out. He confessed that he had set his eyes on her when they first started working together on a project for one of the modules they were in the same class for. He admired her charm, confidence and tenacity. He loved how much her bright personality infected him. There were so many facets to love about her.

Sakura remembered how she was reduced to a stuttering mess when Hideki had approached her. Sure, she had a line of suitors hoping to date her but they would always be politely refused. Ever since she accepted the captaincy for her university’s cheerleading squad, she had various opportunities to work with the different sports teams in organising a myriad of campus events. Because of that, she got to know Hideki at a deeper level. Apart from his debonair appearance, Sakura found his commitment to his sports and studies, his thoughtfulness towards others and his chivalrous ways alluring. Over time, she had developed a little crush on him.

Sakura and Hideki went out together as friends for a couple of weeks before they officially became a couple. In the course of their relationship over the last three years, the most significant transition they had to tide through together was Hideki’s blossoming career as a professional basketball player. He was overseas most of the time due to training and would only be back a few times a year. They had to subsist on video calls and texts to maintain their relationship. As such, managing a long-distance relationship proved more difficult than what they had naively expected.

When Sakura had told Hideki about her new job as a live-in tutor, he had voiced his disapproval.

“A live-in tutor? But that’s not what you had in mind when you graduated, is it?” he had said, his tone was one between bewilderment and frustration.

“Well, I don’t mind giving it a shot, Hideki-kun. What if it turns out to be something I really like?” Sakura had replied, though slightly hurt that her own boyfriend did not support her decision.

“I still don’t really fancy the idea that you’re living in a stranger’s house, Sakura. And it doesn’t help that I’m now miles away from where you are.”

Sakura’s heart had softened at his words. He was being protective and he cared about her safety. And that was what she liked about him. “Don’t worry, Hideki-kun. That family is quite reputable. I doubt I’ll find myself in a perilous situation there,” Sakura had reassured her concerned boyfriend.

Sighing in defeat, Hideki relented, “Alright then. I know I can’t change your mind when it’s made up. Just be careful, okay? And text me whenever you can so I know you’re…”

“Alive?” Sakura had cu int, her tone teasing.

“Well, I guess.” Hideki had chuckled and that had put Sakura’s mind at ease.

That conversation they just had two nights ago was but one of the many other disagreements they had had ever since Hideki went abroad. But of course, they would always try to talk things out at the end of an argument. They never went to bed without resolving their disputes. Sakura was quite satisfied with how things were between them at the moment, though she wished he could return to Japan more often. But perhaps because she had gotten accustomed to his absence, Sakura felt herself enjoying life even without Hideki physically around. She did not find herself pining hopelessly for him or bawling her eyes out whenever she missed him. In fact, she had noticed that she could go a day without thinking about him, especially when she was heavily preoccupied.

Was her love for him fading? She had heard it was a common phenomenon that could happen between couples who had been together for a long time and it was a common reason for breakups. Sakura shook her head. No, it’s because we haven’t been communicating as much. I still love Hideki but now, there are other things that I—we—need to focus on. It’s just a phase.

Sakura closed her eyes as she listened to Hideki’s mellifluous voice tickling and serenading her soul. He was not just a talented basketball player, but he was also a brilliant singer. Ah, one of the many reasons I love him.

She let her mind wander and she found herself thinking about the cruel Li son. He was an enigma, a mystery that she could never – would never – try to unravel. He seemed so… stern, so serious, so emotionless. She just hoped she would not run into him during her stay in the household.

A/N: Let me know what you think! :) 

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Strangely

Ambling down the long corridor on the second level of the Li mansion, Sakura hummed to herself. It was three in the afternoon, the children’s nap time. After ensuring that both Haitang and Haitian were tucked into their beds, Sakura would either head back to her room or chat with some of the maidservants along the way. She enjoyed conversing with Nanny Zhang especially. She loved listening to her anecdotes, hanging on to every word that proceeded from her mouth. As she engaged herself in the nanny’s stories, she felt as if she were being pulled into a treasure trove of memories. There was always an invaluable lesson to learn from each of her stories.

During her stay in the Li mansion in the last three weeks, Sakura had never felt more at home. Everyone was kind and friendly towards her – well, except the Li son. On the rare occasions when she would bump into him in the house, there was nothing more than a nod of acknowledgement and a small, polite smile from her while he glided past her as if she were invisible. At first, Sakura was a teensy bit miffed by his churlishness but after a while, she got used to it. She still greeted him subtly out of sheer respect whenever their paths crossed, which, thankfully, was not a frequent occurrence. Sakura figured he must be a very busy man with copious responsibilities on his plate.

One thing that brought Sakura great joy despite the Li son’s surly attitude was her budding relationship with her two students, Haitang and Haitian. They were polite and considerate, eager to learn and though they could be rambunctious at times, they displayed a natural sense of responsibility beyond their years. Sakura had been most wary about handling children who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths. She had felt ashamed for having such prejudice the instant they enveloped her in a tight hug after her first dinner with the Li family. Their little act of affection extinguished her initial worry about dealing with rich kids. She had even felt sorry for them when she learnt about the hardships they had to go through because of their parents’ divorce. Nanny Zhang had been filling her in on the details about the two youngest members in the household and she was ever so grateful for being able to gain insights about her students through her uninhibited sharing.

The past three weeks had been uneventful, which was what Sakura had hoped. She prayed that things would remain this way – peaceful, fulfilling and comfortable. Yes, she was starting to find herself looking forward to each day when she woke up. There was so much to accomplish, so much to learn about and so much to hope for. Her newfound sense of purpose invigorated her.

The Annual Spring Cheerleading Competition was around the corner and training sessions had intensified to ensure the team would take home the championship this year. Their coach had been even more unyielding in her expectations, pushing Sakura and her teammates beyond their perceived limits with an intensity that left no room for complacency. Though she ought to feel spent after such rigorous training sessions, Sakura would find herself abounding with fresh energy. Cheerleading was, after all, her greatest passion. It was as though she was born for the sport.

As she continued in the direction towards her room, Sakura was so absorbed in visualising her dance steps in her mind’s eye that she did not notice a maidservant whose arms were loaded with freshly ironed laundry lumbering towards her. As a result, they collided into each other, the huge stack of fabric scattering all over the floor.

“I – I’m so sorry! I should have looked where I’m going!” Sakura apologised profusely as she helped the flustered maidservant pick up the pieces of clothing that were strewn all over the carpeted floor.

“No – no, I should not have been so ambitious to carry so much laundry in one trip,” the maidservant said regretfully.

“Let me help you with some. Just let me know where to deliver these to,” Sakura offered as she took half of the pile from the maidservant and placed it atop her own arms.

“You shouldn’t –” she protested.

“I should and I will, Haru-san,” insisted Sakura, her voice determined but kind.

The maidservant looked at her uncertainly and said, “Well, if you must, these are to be delivered to Young Master Li’s room.”

“You mean Li… Xiao Lang?” Sakura uttered the last two syllables in broken mandarin.

“Yes, Kinomoto-san,” confirmed the maidservant, hoisting the other half of the pile to chest height. “His room is a level up, last room on the right.”

“Got it!” Sakura wrapped her arms around the fresh-smelling laundry and began up the stairs. 

“Thank you, Kinomoto-san!” the maidservant called after her retreating back.

Sakura gently tapped on the mahogany rosewood. She had an inkling that the Li son was not in his room. It was slightly after half past three, way too early for him to be back home, if he did come home at all. She hardly saw even a shadow of him in the house. Was he that swamped with work? Sakura shrugged. It didn’t matter to her in the slightest. After a few more taps on the door and no response ensued, she turned the knob lightly and let herself in.

Sakura’s eyes bulged and she involuntarily let out a muted exclamation as she surveyed the spacious, immaculate room that exuded an air of tranquility. As she took a few steps into Li Xiao Lang’s chamber, an ephemeral sense of safety and deep comfort washed over her. Sakura stood stock-still in that passing moment as she relished the warmth that was enveloping her entire being. Then, she caught a whiff of the same sweet scent that surrounded the hallway of the mansion. It was undeniably peonies. The funny thing was she did not see any flowers in the room. So where did the soothing redolence of peonies come from?

Pushing the thought aside, Sakura continued to cast her eyes around the enchanting room. A grand four-poster bed draped in rich green fabrics took centre stage. A pleasant blend of different shades of green enveloped the space, from the velvet curtains that framed the tall windows to the plush area rug that muffled footsteps on the polished hardwood floor. Sakura was so taken in by the sight before her that she had forgotten about her original mission. It was strange how she felt like she was being pulled into a warm embrace just by standing in the heart of the Li son’s bedroom. She… enjoyed this sensation. It was like… heaven…?

Sakura’s eyes landed on a photo frame that sat on the left corner of his work desk. The photo captured a joyful moment between a younger Li Xiao Lang and an older man whom Sakura guessed was his father. They had the same chestnut hair and handsome features. They were both beaming, their faces radiant. They had their arms around each other. The Li son was actually smiling, and he looked exceptionally charming with his facial features lifted in pure bliss. So he wasn’t born straight-faced, Sakura thought to herself, snickering. She noticed he was holding up a gold medal. She inched forward to get a closer look. She could not quite make out the diminutive engraved words on the metal piece. It seemed to read…

“You know, it’s rude to snoop about someone else’s room,” came a deadpan voice.

Startled, Sakura whipped around to find herself face to face with an all too familiar impassive expression. Her bright, emerald eyes widened. They were only inches apart. Had he been standing behind her all this while? He smelled like bergamot, a blend of sweet and slightly spicy notes. It was… refreshing. Sakura took a step back. She inhaled sharply as she made a misstep and reeled backwards. A pair of sturdy arms steadied her from behind in one swift motion.

Once again, amber locked onto emerald. Time seemed to come to a halt in that fairytale-like moment – which lasted for a mere second.

Her heart pounding furiously, Sakura leapt out of the unexpected embrace from an unexpected person, her hands still grabbing onto the stack of laundry which belonged to… him and which she had completely forgotten about.

Feeling humiliated, Sakura could only stammer, “I – I didn’t… I – I…” Ugh! What is wrong with me? Sakura mentally berated herself.

She saw the Li son raise his eyebrows in sheer amusement, making her cheeks flush a deeper pink. She wished there was an abyss right there and then that would just swallow her whole and take her away from this mortifying encounter.

Not daring to look at the Li son whose eyes she could sense boring into her, Sakura dipped her head in remorse and inundated him with her unceasing words of apology. “I – I didn’t mean to – to… I’m sorry! I was – I was only helping Haru-san deliver these to your room! I’m sorry!”

Sakura sprang towards the foot of the bed and placed the stack of laundry gingerly on the sheets. She had finally accomplished her initial mission, although she could have been more expeditious in delivering it and saved herself from this awkward situation.

Giving another deep bow, Sakura said in a tone almost vociferous, “Once again, I’m truly, truly sorry for intruding!”

Without waiting for his response, Sakura made a dash for the door, not realising her phone had fallen out of her pocket during her near-fall.

They were so close. Noses almost touching. He could feel her breath on the skin of his face. 

She had smelled like strawberries.

When his arms circled her waist to break her fall, his breath was caught in his throat and his heart jolted with adrenaline which was unusual for someone as phlegmatic as himself. There seemed to be a deluge of unknown emotions waiting to break free from his heart of stone. And the notion of experiencing something as foreign as this was downright unnerving. He, the cornerstone of the Li clan, could not – would not – be wrapped in such unpredictable circumstances that could leave him enfeebled. He had no time to dwell in the matters of the heart. To be more precise, he didn’t know how to. It was too profound for him to comprehend the things related to the heart.

Ever since his father had succumbed to an incurable illness, his mother, Li Yelan, had been even more uncompromising in the aspect of his education and training. She made sure his daily schedule was packed to the brim. She expected - no - demanded tough discipline, unwavering focus and steadfast perseverance from her only son who was to succeed his father, the late unmatched, formidable leader of the Li clan.

“You cannot afford to slacken, Xiao Lang. The fate of the entire clan is in the palm of your hand,” his mother would remind him at every opportunity she had.

The fate of the entire clan is in the palm of your hand.

If only his mother knew how heavy this responsibility was weighing on his shoulders. He was only fifteen - the age when he should be carefree, develop innocent crushes, go on dates, have fun. Fun. When was the last time he actually had fun? So foreign, so distant, so elusive.

Over the years, he had grown accustomed to it all - the rigorous, unforgiving trainings, harsh reproach, incessant reminders from the Elders to waste no time in the trivialities.

“Your father would want you to focus all of your energy on becoming the best leader of our clan. Your father would…”

Father would… if Father were still around, would he really want that of him? To lose himself for the future of the Li clan? Would he be proud of what he had become? Were those his unspoken expectations of his son? Because if they were, his father had kept him well in the dark until his passing. All the supposed expectations of Li Tian were unveiled to him by the Elders, not one had he heard from his father personally. But as a devoted son and bound by his duty as the Li heir, Syaoran took every expectation upon himself and shouldered it all without any complaint. He was not one who would shirk his responsibilities.

He had no choice. He needed to carry on his clan’s legacy. Their fate rested in his hands.

Even so, his heart was his – not anyone else’s to manipulate. It was one thing he would make a choice for. Even if he knew not what he truly wanted or desired, his mind was as clear as crystal what he did not. And it included all the women his mother had tried to set him up with. In all fairness, they had their own desirable qualities and it would be presumptuous of him to consider them all glory-hunters. But he just did not feel it with any of them. He could offer his life, but not his heart. This was the least he could do to preserve his humanity and not lose himself completely in the duties being the Li heir entailed.  

His mind trailed back to the honey-haired girl with those captivating, dazzling green eyes. In fact, this was not the first time he had found his mind wandering to the family’s new tutor. When he first saw her at the dining hall a couple of weeks ago, he had found himself drawn to her mellow but sincere smile when she had introduced herself. Though she had appeared somewhat klutzy, she was… adorable in her own unique way. He had seen more attractive, more charismatic women, but there was something about her that commanded his attention. And his… heart?

Infatuation? No – no, he was the future leader of one of the most influential clans in Asia. The Li heir smitten with a girl he had only met for the first time and with whom a word of interaction had never been exchanged? What – love at first sight? The notion of it was so preposterous it was laughable.

As Syaoran militated against the newfound emotions that threatened to cloud his usually sound judgement, a shimmering pink object near his work desk caught his eye. He stooped down and picked it up. It was a smartphone. He knew instantly it belonged to her – the source of his conflicting emotions and disturbing thoughts. He sighed and pocketed it.

He could not keep avoiding her.

He could not keep escaping from himself.

He could not keep using his work and training sessions as a convenient excuse for him to run away from what his father had always taught him to follow.

Because it would lead him to where he desired and needed to be… wouldn’t it?

“Sometimes, if you don’t know your heart, put it to the test,” his father had once said to him.

Shaking off any more specious thoughts that might intrude his mind and conflict his heart even more, Syaoran started towards one of the rooms on the second floor.

Put it to the test. He was certain his heart would not be so easily conquered. He just had to prove it to himself that his heart – his soul – was impenetrable. If not, all his years of training would have been for naught. Yes, the pumping organ inside him would lead him to where he wanted – needed – to be. And where he needed to be definitely did not involve siphoning his energy on such trivialities.

Sakura nearly choked on her water when she saw the Li son standing outside her bedroom, looking like it was the last place he would want to be at. His tall frame towered over her, making her feel small.

He had tapped on her door politely, the sound on the wooden door dulcet and light. When she pulled the door open, she could not help but to gape stupidly at the figure before her. Sakura had not anticipated the visit of the elusive Li son for any reason. Hence, she was thrown off balance when she came face to face with him – again.

“K-Konnichiwa, Li… um… Li-san?” Sakura squeaked as she gulped down the remaining water in her mouth. He looked roughly the same age as her but he was an important figure in the Li household and the son of her employer. Calling him ‘Li-kun’ wouldn’t have been appropriate, would it? ‘Li-san’, Sakura decided, was best to address him as.

Holding out the rectangular object in his hand, Syaoran said in a matter-of-fact tone, “I believe you dropped this earlier on.”

Sakura stared at her smartphone as though it belonged to someone else, feeling dumb. How could she have been so careless? “Oh. Right. Yes… I think…”

Syaoran cocked his head sideways, his expression a mixture of confusion and amusement. “You think?”

Sakura thought she could detect a hint of condescension in his terse response. She quickly continued, “What I mean is – I think I might have dropped it when…” She could feel an uncomfortable heat spreading across her face as her mind replayed the scene in which she was chivalrously caught by the very man right before her eyes just a short while ago.

“Kinomoto… Sakura, right?” Syaoran started, his eyes resting on hers. Piercing, disconcerting, searching.

For the third time, amber locked onto emerald.

This time, the Li son inched a step closer, making the disoriented Sakura take a trembling step back.

“I… uh…”

“I’m curious…” Syaoran inched another step closer, while Sakura took another step back, as if dancing a waltz.

“A-about?”

“What makes you so nervous whenever I’m around?” His voice was hushed and low but each syllable was clearly uttered. It gave Sakura the chills.

“I- I’m not…”

At this point, their faces were mere inches apart. Bergamot - that invigorating scent wafted into her nostrils once again. Its sweet and spicy notes made the neurons in her brain light up with incandescent focus. She became acutely aware of his imposing presence consuming every fibre of her being. She was shrinking, shrinking, shrinking…

“You’re not what?” His brows arched, anticipating.

Sakura drew a deep breath and backed away, creating an arm’s length distance between herself and the Li son. Straightening up, she conceded, “Look, I’m not sure what you’re getting at. I… Yes, I do feel nervous whenever you’re around. And… and that’s because you’re so… you’re so…” Sakura racked her sizzling brains, desperate to find the right words to explain herself in a way that wouldn’t make her look ridiculous in front of this imposing, formidable man who was observing her with immense intensity.

“I’m so what?” She was starting to pique his interest. What did she think of him? He wanted to know - no - he needed to know what this Kinomoto girl thought of him.

Looking into his expectant, probing eyes, Sakura felt a panic rising to her voice and she tried to control it. For goodness’ sake, why did she get so hopelessly distraught whenever she was in his vicinity? Sakura could not understand what was going on inside her. She had never felt this nervous around Hideki even when he had asked her out for the first time. She had not been this on edge on their first date either. And… she had a thousand and one reasons she would feel butterflies swirling in her stomach and her heart pound madly when it came to Hideki. After all, he was her first real love. The Li son… she could not find any palpable reasons to have beads of perspiration trickling down her back or her mind running like a record-breaking sprinter and then freezing up, rendering her neurons incapable of functioning normally.

Quelling the noise within her by conjuring a calming image of a picturesque seaside where the waves rolled in and out rhythmically, Sakura spoke cautiously, “You’re so distant. It’s like… you don’t allow anyone near you.” The Li son seemed to be waiting for her to elaborate, so she continued, “I think… I think your aloofness is kind of… unsettling.” She gazed at her pensive listener warily, letting the words of truth hang in the air.

Syaoran’s face was unreadable. He looked as withdrawn as ever. “Hmm” was all that came out of his mouth. His eyes seemed to be focused on nothing in particular, his gaze faraway.

Amber broke away from emerald.

Silence hovered between them. Strangely, the silence was as soothing as the bergamot scent emanating from him. Just as strangely, Sakura felt the urge to reach forward and rest a comforting hand on his forearm. And very, very strangely, her heart ached. Her heart ached for this seemingly infallible man who had the world under his feet. He seemed so… forlorn. For someone who had everything within his reach, why did he look so… sad?

Not knowing where she had gathered the confidence from, Sakura blurted, “I’m curious.” And it could not be further from the truth. Though she kept telling herself she was less than interested in the affairs of the Li son, she could not deny her building curiosity about him, especially after unintentionally trespassing on his personal space. Those gleaming eyes, that unbridled smile of triumph, the sparkle of joy that highlighted his boyish features so perfectly… Where did the happy boy from the photo go? Not forgetting the sweet scent that filled his room. What kind of person lay hidden beneath those layers of indifference and gruffness?

The unexpected statement from Sakura caught Syaoran by surprise. “About?” he probed.

“Do you like the work that you’re doing?”

Again, an unexpected string of words. And it was a question he had never pondered about. Simply because no one had ever asked him if he enjoyed all the work he had to do. Or what he liked for that matter.

“Why do you ask that?”

Sakura shrugged. “Just curious. I notice you spend more time at work than at home.”

“It’s what I need to do,” he replied plainly. Lately, Syaoran had been holing himself up in his office because he was not sure if he could handle being in close proximity with this woman before his eyes. He was afraid. Afraid. Of a woman he knew nothing of except her name. But this was something she did not need to know. As he continued to gaze upon her eager eyes, he could not help but find himself wanting to talk to her, to find out more about her, to learn about her likes and dislikes. Her. Kinomoto Sakura. What a lovely name that befitted its bearer.

Clearly not satisfied with the answer she got from the Li son, she said, smiling, “Necessity doesn’t equate passion, Li-san. So, you didn’t quite answer my question.”

Syaoran’s lips tugged up ever so slightly. Was he smiling? Sakura couldn’t tell. She could never decipher what he was thinking because he seemed to have the ability to carefully conceal his visage.

“Do you like the work that you’re doing?”

There. He threw the question back to her. Unlike him, she could give him a wholehearted answer, “Yes, I do. Haitang and Haitian are so endearing. I enjoy being their tutor. They make this live-in tutor job so satisfying and delightful. I’m thankful.”

Syaoran’s usually hardened face relaxed and broke into a smile. A real smile. And it made Sakura smile in spite of herself. Somehow, she relished seeing the Li son smile like he did now. It was a mesmerising sight to behold.

Wait. Mesmerising? Had she been bedazzled by his… smiling face? Her face grew warm at the forbidden thought.

“I’ve practically watched the two little rascals grow up since they were babies. You’re right. They are a charming pair. I’m sure they like having you as their tutor too.”

“I sure hope so.”

Silence hung between them once again.

“Your phone.” Syaoran extended his hand where Sakura’s phone still resided in.

“Oh! Right. Thanks.” Sakura grasped it from his hand, her fingers lightly brushing against his. For a split second, she froze, caught off guard by the electric jolt of the brief touch. A flutter of nerves danced in her stomach, a flush rising to her cheeks as her hand instinctively pulled back. Sakura felt a soft warmth spreading up her arm, surprising her. She hoped he did not notice the faint tremor in her fingers as she tightened them around her phone.

“I’ll get going,” Syaoran announced, snapping her out of her momentary stupefaction.

“R-right. Thanks – again,” Sakura muttered, feeling like a total moron. She only hoped her earlier reaction had gone unnoticed by the Li son.

She watched his retreating back, her fingers still tingling as her mind replayed the accidental touch.

Strangely, though her heart was still hammering in her chest, a gentle warmth enveloped her entire being. She leaned into that warmth, feeling herself embraced.

It was seventeen minutes past eleven. Hideki had promised to call her tonight. Sakura scrolled through her social media newsfeed absently as she tried to keep herself awake. He’s probably still busy, Sakura thought to herself.

As she glided her thumb across her phone, she paused as she took in the photo before her tired eyes. Hideki and his teammates were revelling at what looked like a night club. One of his teammates had posted and tagged him in it just five minutes ago. 

Sakura knew Hideki, or at least, she thought she did. Hideki was not one who dug parties or other rowdy escapades. Being a high-profile athlete and with the captaincy title crowning his head, Hideki had no lack of invitations to all sorts of parties and the like back in their university days. Given his striking physical features and magnetic personality, he was the eye candy of nearly the entire female population in Tokyo University. Despite it all, he did not exhibit any interest in such frivolous rendezvous nor did he pay any heed to those swooning girls, many of whom would unabashedly slip him little love notes and sweets declaring their admiration for him.

When news got around that the campus heartthrob was no longer single (rumours had it that he had never had a girlfriend before this new relationship), the university grounds were abuzz with speculations and envious chatter among the girls. When news got around that the ‘lucky girl’ he was dating was Kinomoto Sakura, the conjectures ceased as the girls conceded defeat.

The captain of the basketball team dating the captain of the cheerleading team. Perfection at its finest, wasn’t it?

“Weren’t they a match made in heaven?” was the rhetorical question that Sakura had overheard numerous times.

However, much to Sakura’s annoyance, there were girls who would still shamelessly try their luck in getting Hideki to fall for them instead. It was as if she were invisible or just an accessory that he could replace on a whim. But Kimura Hideki had only eyes for her. Her. Kinomoto Sakura. A girl who was oblivious to her true potential, her own limitlessness, her uplifting influence on others. She had never craved the limelight, though being in it became inevitable when she became the cheerleading team’s captain during her third year in Tokyo U. Still, Sakura was still Sakura – friendly, kind, humble and optimistic.

And that was what Hideki confessed he liked about her when she had asked him why he had set his eyes on her out of so many other girls who could easily be more charming than her. Sakura had to admit to herself that she was flattered at his words and being with Hideki had raised her self-esteem in one way or another. However, Sakura did not let their relationship status define who she was. She was not just the girlfriend of the basketball team’s captain. She was who she would define herself to be. She did not want to make the same mistake as many other girls had the tendency to – letting their lives revolve around their men and losing it when they got betrayed or let down. Sakura refused to be the clingy, possessive, pandering girlfriend that most guys were repulsed by.

That was why she had not contacted Hideki even though she had not heard from him since their last phone call three weeks ago, except for the occasional texts of greetings and brief updates she would receive from him, which had become increasingly sparse. Just the previous day, Hideki had dropped her a text saying he would try to call her tonight, which obviously was not going to happen seeing where he was now with his friends.

Sakura continued to stare at the photo. It was not like they were bound to each other. Hideki was free to do what he liked. He had his own life to live. If, for some reason, the life that he wanted did not involve her, she guessed… she could live with it. Or could she really…? Sakura flinched inwardly at this sobering realisation that she and Hideki could possibly become nothing more than a memory. Then, as if being wrenched out of her own soap opera, Sakura began to titter at her own groundless musing.

Just when Sakura was about to toss her phone aside and get ready for bed, her phone trilled. Hideki’s name with a heart emoticon next to it flashed on the screen. Her lips curving upwards, Sakura swiped the blinking green call button across and teased, “Seems like you remember a certain Kinomoto Sakura from Japan.”

She could hear his chuckle on the other end of the line. “And she’s mad, isn’t she?” She could make out the mischief in his voice. It was… nice to finally hear from her boyfriend.

“Hmm,” replied Sakura noncommittally. She was far from feeling angry at the prolonged absence of his calls, although she did feel a twinge of dejection well up within her over the last few days. Even so, she did not want him to know because she thought he would find it burdensome. And Kinomoto Sakura was not one who liked to burden others.

When Sakura did not speak, Hideki chimed in, “I’m sorry I haven’t called in a while, Sakura. You know my schedule, packed to the brim. And with the semis coming up, trainings are even more intense. By the way, I was just out with the boys. Rowdy time.”

“Rowdy, huh. Doesn’t sound like Kimura Hideki’s kind of thing,” Sakura ribbed.

“You know me well,” said Hideki proudly. Then, he quickly added, “Just so you know, I was obliged to go. You know clubs are not my thing. It was an impromptu decision by some of the boys and everyone else was in and it was hard to decline.”

Hideki was blathering and he sounded a little anxious, which made Sakura let out a chortle of glee. “You’re so cute when you ramble, Hideki-kun.”

“So… am I forgiven, my dear Sakura?”

His words of endearment beckoned her to say yes. And she did. “Of course. But really, there is nothing to forgive you for, Hideki-kun. You have things you need to do. And I totally understand. So please, go ahead and do what you need to do. You know I’ll always be here when you need me.”

“Thank you, Sakura. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They went on to fill each other in on what they had been up to and other daily happenings. There were moments of comfortable silence and moments of mirth. Halfway through their conversation, they decided to switch to video mode on Sakura’s request.

She noticed how much more tanned and lean Hideki was. And how his eyes still held that same glimmer whenever he looked at her. It had been more than a month since they had last seen each other virtually. It made Sakura miss him all of a sudden. She yearned to touch him, to hug him, to kiss him. But she swallowed all these desires into the pit of her stomach. She did not want to be an encumbrance to him. Not when he was at the peak of his basketball career.

During the video call, Sakura also noticed something amiss about Hideki. His smile was atypically taut and he seemed a little edgy. She shrugged it off with the conclusion that he was exhausted from a long day of training and obligated fun.

It was close to 2 a.m. when they ended their call. Sakura lay on her bed, recalling the faintly tense look on Hideki’s usually placid face. She could not help but to think there was something else other than physical exhaustion that was causing her boyfriend to appear less assured than he normally did. What was it? Why? With waves of unsettling thoughts lapping against her consciousness, Sakura drifted into a fitful sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re done with the call?”

“Yeah.”

“How was it?”

“She didn’t suspect anything.”

“Okay.”

There was a pause before Hideki said, looking crestfallen, “I don’t think we should do this anymore, Kairi. I… I don’t want to hurt her.”

Tossing her thick black tresses behind her shoulders, Kairi glared indignantly at her lover and sneered, “You’d rather sacrifice my happiness so your darling Sakura won’t be hurt? What am I? Her replacement in the States?”

Frustrated, Hideki buried his hands in his messy dark brown hair, his eyes downcast. How had he gotten himself into such a messy situation? “We… We should never have happened.”

Kairi sashayed across the room and sat herself beside Hideki on the couch. She cupped his face with her slender, soft hands and whispered, “You know you don’t mean that.” She planted a tender kiss on his lips, which he did not return.

Hideki tried to pry her hands from him but found himself pinned down onto his back by a pair of slim but strong arms.

“You know you want me, Hideki love,” Kairi purred.

Hideki looked into her sable eyes that burned with unrestrained passion. She wanted him - every part of him. And he let her. He let her consume him, smother him, with her ferocious love.

“You know I’ll always be here when you need me.”

You’re my heaven, Sakura…

I’m sorry.

A/N: As usual, thank you for reading! 😊

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: Unveiling 

“Good evening, Uncle!” the two vibrant children of the Li household chorused in unison, as their gleeful eyes spotted their favourite uncle saunter into the dining hall. 

Grinning, Syaoran ruffled their hair playfully before taking a seat next to them. “How have you two little monkeys been?”   

“Never better!” they exclaimed collectively. 

As soon as they noticed they had their uncle’s full attention, they started flooding him with their day-to-day events, their eyes shining with excitement as they recounted every detail, from the smallest victories to amusing encounters with friends. Syaoran listened with rapt attention, feeling himself being rejuvenated by the friskiness of his niece and nephew. It had been two weeks since he last had dinner at home. 

A typically taciturn individual, Syaoran enjoyed listening more than talking. This characteristic that framed him as a person grew with age and the experiences he had been dealt with. His juvenile introversion spiralled into an irrevocable reticence that barricaded him from unnecessary human interactions. He kept to himself most of the time, choosing solitude over company. The only fellow earthlings he did not scuttle away from were his nieces and nephews, two of whom were currently residing in Hong Kong with his second sister and brother-in-law. Perhaps their innocence and simplicity made him feel somewhat safe and rooted. Being with them was like being offered a respite from the drudgery of his duties as the successor to his clan’s headship. Syaoran did not hate his obligations that his ostensibly prestigious position involved. To him, it was something he was born to do – an unavoidable lifelong task. He had long accepted his fate and he knew he could never escape from it as long as his father’s blood ran in his veins. 

When his sister, Fuutie, unceremoniously interrupted her children’s fervent babbling to remind them that their plates were still untouched in the last thirty minutes, their excitement evidently fizzled as they gave a long face and a sulky pout before diving into their rice. Chuckling at their instant disappointment because they were forced to utter not a single word until they were done with their food, Syaoran assured them they could continue with their stories afterwards. 

Turning to his own array of rice and dishes, Syaoran noticed that the Kinomoto girl was nowhere in sight. The one and only time he had seen her at dinner time was her first day in the mansion. After that, he had not seen her at the dining hall at all. Was she on some kind of a diet? Intermittent fasting? She didn’t look like she needed any, though. 

After their rather evasive (more from his end) but epiphanic conversation a short while ago, Syaoran was left pining for more. He still vividly remembered every detail of it – of her. As much as he wanted to repudiate this unprecedented sentiment that was slowly eroding his senses to a pulp, his mind kept drifting back to her unembellished but alluring face highlighted by soft butterscotch locks. The smooth cadence of her voice and the sincerity in her spoken words could melt the coldest, hardest heart. For once, he was truly gratified to see how the foreign language classes that his mother mandated him to take had proved beneficial (the Japanese language in particular, though he should have experienced its utility at least once in his nineteen years in Japan). 

When his eyes had met hers in those few short encounters which had left him ruminative and bizarrely light-hearted, he thought he was being pulled into another dimension where he almost believed he could just be… himself. The boy who had been hidden away all these years, compelled to mature and shoulder a vast commitment beyond his years. The boy who longed to be released from the prison of his unspoken, suppressed grief. Grief at the loss of his respected father whom he had loved and trusted with all his heart, at having to relinquish his own happiness and desires for the sake of his clan, at the need to guard his heart at all costs. At all costs. Because failure to do so would drag him into a state of emotional precipice which he vowed to himself never to go into ever again. 

It was a harrowing experience to go through life without his father who had been a larruping prominent figure in his growing years. To experience such hefty loss proved too much for him to bear. He had given all of himself to love and receive love, albeit in his own subtle ways. He had never regarded love as a menace until the untimely death of his father. He was appalled at how love could actually… hurt – cause immense pain to every fibre of his being. Tear streaks stained his gaunt face daily, his shoulders hunched over in mourning for a loss so great he thought he would be crushed under its weight. The light had gone out of his usually bright, sharp eyes, his entire demeanour was clouded over with despair. In his desperation and profound sorrow, he beseeched his mother, the Li Elders, anyone, to get him out of the dastardly pit he was in.

“Steel your heart, Xiao Lang. To be a great leader, you need to guard your heart well. Let the past stay where it should and trudge forward. The road ahead will be tough, but you need to grit your teeth and pull through it. You need to be strong. You must be – for the sake of our clan. And your father’s,” one of the Elders had urged. 

“Xiao Lang, we are all as heartbroken as you are. But you must be strong. You are our future. You can grieve, but don’t take too long. Your father wouldn’t want that. You recall his last words to you, don’t you?” his mother had said through a trembling voice as she attempted to repress her emotions. 

She was skilled at it – cloaking her affective emotions under a veneer of tenacity and discipline. As a standing mistress of the Li clan, she could not afford to be a stumbling block to those who looked up to her. After all, she was the clan’s pillar at the moment, before Syaoran officially stepped up as its rightful leader. 

His father’s last words still rang loud and clear in his mind, a constant reminder of who he was, what he needed to do. 

“Lead… us… well.” 

Three simple words that were interwoven into what could be rightfully interpreted as his father’s last expectation of his only son. It hadn’t dawned on him as such until he was perpetually reminded by the Elders and his mother that it was what his father wanted him to do – to carry on where he had left and to greater heights. 

You need to be strong. 

You cannot fail.

You cannot let them down. 

You cannot let Father down. 

Love is painful. Too painful. 

He had lost himself in a sea of expectations from his family, his clan and even himself. Their expectations had become his expectations that he needed to live up to. And those expectations did not allow any room for episodes of vulnerability. His aversion from opening up his heart was a reflection of his innermost fear – fear of being let down, of dealing with anguish, of losing what mattered to him. 

“Grandmother, is Kinomoto-sensei at her cheerleading practice now?” Haitian piped up. 

Cheerleading practice? So that’s what she has been up to in the evenings? Syaoran thought to himself, curious. 

“Yes, Haitian,” Yelan answered before taking a sip from her soup bowl. 

“I wish I could see her practise her moves!” chirped Haitang.

“Yeah! Kinomoto-sensei would look so cool!” Haitian chimed in enthusiastically. 

“Sakura-chan is really capable, isn’t she? Juggling between work and cheerleading. And she told me she’s captain of the team!” Fuutie remarked admiringly. 

Yelan smiled at the comments before casting her son a meaningful glance. Syaoran sensed it but he continued to send food into his mouth with his chopsticks, looking anywhere else but his mother. He knew what she was thinking. And he didn’t want to encourage whatever plan she had up her sleeve. Not without his consent, anyway. 

“Mummy, do you know when Kinomoto-sensei’s competition is?” Haitang inquired through a mouthful of rice and fish. 

Fuutie turned to Yelan who replied, “13 July, 2pm. At the National Stadium. She has sought my approval to take leave on that day.” 

“Oh! Can we go? Please?” Haitang asked, her eyes dilated in an earnest plea.  

Her younger brother mirrored her and with his hands clasped together in front of his chest, he entreated, “Please, please, pretty please?”

“How’s your schedule like for that day, Xiao Lang?” Yelan queried as she dipped her broccoli in a smattering of soy sauce in a small, shallow dish, calm and poised as usual.

He could read between those lines. He knew what she wanted him to do. 

“Possible to free up that day to bring the kids to watch Sakura’s cheerleading performance?” 

I knew it! Before Syaoran could open his mouth to speak, she added, “You should take the day off since it’s your birthday.”

Since when had birthdays become a legitimate excuse for taking the day off in the Li household? Syaoran eyed his mother suspiciously. She is definitely up to something. Whatever it was did not bode well with him. “I –

“That settles it then. Haitang, Haitian, your Uncle Xiao Lang will be your chaperone to the National Stadium to watch your sensei’s performance,” Yelan broke in, her tone crisp and final. 

Syaoran knew there was no space for any sort of rebuttal or questions. Her decision was made. It was irrevocable. But this time, he didn’t experience that usual nimbus of defiance that would brew and rise up inside him when it came to attending to matters that involved the fairer sex. Anyway, this wasn’t a date. Not at all. He was only a chaperone for the kids. Nothing more than that. Although his impassioned logic tried to dissuade him from giving in to his mother’s request, it was simply not strong enough to rule over his desire. His heart’s desire. He wanted to see her, know more about her. She was like a page-turner – once you opened it, it was impossible to put it down. 

That Kinomoto girl was one of a kind. The mere thought of her was able to warp his carefully cultivated sense of logic, now overtaken by this strong feeling that was puzzling, petrifying and stimulating all at the same time. 

He, Li Syaoran, wanted Kinomoto Sakura. This searing desire felt foreign, but right to the bone. 

Forest green sparks flew.

 A metallic, melodious resonance resounded. 

The bell fluttering outside the house had morphed into a metal piece of astounding shine. 

Even if everything seemed illogical, the heart supported it. And that was all mattered, wasn’t it? 

~~~~~~~~~ 

She was on tenterhooks all morning and all through lunch. In fact, she had lost all appetite and had only managed to stomach a plate of omelette which was nibbled half-heartedly. Most of the delicious-smelling cooked egg with an assortment of vegetables was left untouched when she and her team left for the National Stadium. 

They were less than an hour away from the commencement of the Annual Spring Cheerleading Competition. They gathered at the side section of the competition floor and started with warm-ups and stretches before performing one final run-through of their routine. Then, their coach gave them a pep talk to charge them up, reminding them to stay confident and give their best shot. After that, the girls double-checked their appearances, adjusting their ribbons in their hair, making sure their uniforms were in perfect condition and securing any loose strands of hair.

“Next up, we have the Sparkling Stars from the city of Tokyo!” a booming voice resonated through the stadium. 

Sakura and her team huddled together, linking arms. They took a few deep breaths to calm any last-minute jitters. With a final cheer, they jogged towards the competition floor, putting on their brightest thousand-watt smiles. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Folding his arms and leaning back against one of the blue plastic adjoined chairs, and looking blasé, Syaoran watched the sprightly specks of females donned in uniforms jump, leap, tumble and do other jaw-dropping stunts which he kept reminding his excited niece and nephew never to try without adult supervision. Haitiang and Haitian watched the performance with eyes of tremendous wonder and slack-jawed faces. They were hypnotised by the dynamic, high-energy moves of the performers, letting out whoops of joy when they witnessed the breathtaking, transcendental toss stunts. 

“Next up, we have the Sparkling Stars from the city of Tokyo!” a booming voice resonated through the stadium. 

At the announcement, Syaoran sat up straight and his eyes started scanning the specks of human beings below. If only they had arrived earlier and got better seats, he would get a better, unobstructed view. He wasn’t too bothered by the abysmal angle he was watching the performance from at first but at this juncture, he was annoyed that his vision was blocked by the sea of heads in front of him. He leaned forward, trying to spot a certain caramel head. 

There. He saw her. She took her position in the centre of the formation. To his amazement, her movements were sharp, precise and full of vigour. She carried out the stunts effortlessly and seamlessly, her body seemed to be tailored for each of those challenging, intricate moves. Her stage presence was so powerful that it commanded the attention of even the apathetic laymen, such as himself. His eyes were stuck to her like superglue. He was completely and hopelessly entranced by her remarkable sense of control and her lithe body that flipped and twisted with such astounding ease and grace. 

Thunderous applause resounded throughout the stadium as the cheerleaders of Sparkling Stars bowed, signalling the end of their competition showcase. They waved at their spectators as they filed out in a neat single line. Two young spectators seated on each side of their uncle jumped up to their feet and cheered, their voices shrill with excitement and their little fists waving wildly in the air as a sign of victory.

“Wasn’t Kinomoto-sensei simply amazing?” Haitang enthused, still wide-eyed and grinning, catching her breath from all the whooping and hollering.

“Kinomoto-sensei was so, so cool!” exclaimed Haitian, bouncing up and down on his feet. 

“I’m gonna get her to teach me some of the moves!” Haitang announced with an immense eagerness in her voice. 

“Don’t forget she’s your tutor for Japanese and Mathematics, not gymnastics,” Syaoran reminded, giving his niece a stern look which lasted for only a few seconds. 

At her uncle’s reminder, Haitang only grinned wider. “I know, Uncle. I know.”

Syaoran could not help but to harbour a wee bit of suspicion that she was conjuring some kind of elaborate plan in that little head of hers. He chuckled to himself and turned his attention to the centre of the National Stadium which was now occupied by another cheerleading team. 

“Shall we go find Kinomoto-sensei?” Haitian suggested, echoing exactly what Syaoran was wrestling inside his head. He felt his heart curl into a ball of nerves as he considered his nephew’s innocent suggestion. What would he say to her? How should he present himself? Did he look presentable enough? Feeling self-conscious all of a sudden, he glanced down at his outfit - a cerulean short-sleeved button-down, a pair of white shorts and navy slip-ons. He didn’t think he looked too sloppy in those. He believed he looked decent enough for her. Wait - since when did he care about how he looked? Never once had he bothered about how others would think about his outward appearance or the clothes he wore, not even on those dates he was coerced into going. But the thought of possibly meeting that Kinomoto girl sent him into a flurry of uncharacteristic nervousness about such a triviality. What would the Elders and his clan think if they knew their future leader was scrambling back and forth like a mouse in mortal peril because of a woman?

“Uncle?” Haitian called, he and Haitang peering up at him, perplexed at his contorted facial features. “Shall we go?” he asked again. 

Snapped out of his internal monologue, Syaoran answered, “Sure, let’s go.”

“Yay! We’ll lead the way! Kinomoto-sensei told us they will be at the field outside the stadium before they come back in to receive the results of the competition,” Haitang said animatedly. 

“Lead away, princess,” Syaoran teased. Haitang was really a replica of her mother in both her physical features and mannerisms. It made him smile in spite of his swirling stomach and thudding heart. 

~~~~~~~~~

“Good job, ladies! Know that whatever the outcome, you all did spectacularly! It was the performance of a lifetime!” Coach Hana commended glowingly. She was labelled as Cruella of Tokyo owing to her unwavering, sometimes villainous way of drilling and conditioning her squad members. But beneath her combative and forceful disposition, Coach Hana was one of the most compassionate and supportive coaches a cheerleading team could ever ask for. 

“Captain, you have any words of encouragement for your teammates?” Coach Hana added as her eyes rested on Sakura.

Positioning herself in front of her teammates and coach, she started, “Like what Coach just said, no matter the result, we have given our best and that’s all that matters. Words alone cannot express how grateful and blessed I am to be on the same team as all of you. Our hard toil may not necessarily culminate in the results we hope for but it’s the journey that matters. Your dedication and tenacity have not gone unnoticed. Win or lose, what we’ve accomplished is huge and it’s something be proud of. Thank you all for giving your best and for lifting each other up, not just today, but every step of the way. We pushed through every challenge as a team and kept our energy strong. That’s what makes us unstoppable! This isn’t the end - it’s just another step in our journey together. I’m honoured to be your captain and to cheer alongside you all. Let’s celebrate this moment, knowing that we’ve given our all. Go Sparkling Stars!”

Following Sakura’s inspiring and uplifting speech, the rest of the team, including Coach Hana, erupted in cheers and applause. From the corner of her eye, she spotted two familiar short figures next to a taller frame standing a few metres away from her team. After excusing herself, she jogged towards them, waving happily. 

“Thank you for coming!” Sakura panted as she neared her two students and their uncle.  

Haitang and Haitian grinned from ear to ear, bounding with excitement. “You were amazing, Kinomoto-sensei!” they exclaimed in unison. 

Returning their grin with her own, Sakura replied, “Thank you, you two!” She ruffled their hair playfully after giving them each a hug. When she withdrew herself from the siblings, she pivoted to face their uncle. For some unknown reason, her heart skipped a beat and again, she felt her face warming up reflexively. 

Emerald fixed on amber. 

For a split second, Sakura was wordless as she gawked at him - at his rugged good looks. She could feel the temperature of her cheeks rise a few notches as she realised what she was doing. She was ogling at the man in front of her. A really handsome one, to be exact. 

“Still skittish from earlier?” Syaoran razzed.

Sakura blinked. “Yeah – I mean – no –”

Syaoran raised his eyebrows. This girl never failed to amuse him. 

Collecting herself, Sakura managed a strained smile, an attempt to conceal the conflicting thoughts raging inside her. “Thank you for coming, Li-san.”

Syaoran shrugged, as he stuck his hands into his pants’ pockets. “No problem. I had fun. It was eye-opening.”

“I’m glad you didn’t find it boring,” Sakura said in relief, her voice soft and her gaze timid before the future leader of the most pivotal and powerful clan in Asia. 

“Far from it. Your team’s performance was electrifying, by the way.”

“R-really?” Sakura’s heart swelled with elation. The Li heir’s approval was like a dopamine-inducing drug - it made her ecstatic and it was addictive. 

“I hope your team wins.”

“Us too!” Haitang and Haitian chorused. 

“Thank you.” Sakura beamed at them.

“Sakura-chan! We need to head in now!” one of her teammates, Chiharu called.

“Coming!” Turning to the trio before her, Sakura said, “I gotta go. Thanks again for coming to support us.” 

“Today is Uncle’s birthday! We are going for some cake later. Would you like to join us, Kinomoto-sensei?” Haitang asked, her eyes expectant.

“Oh! I didn’t know! Sure, I'd love to! I'll catch y'all after they announce the results.” Sakura caught Syaoran's eyes and added, “Happy birthday, Li-san.”

Slightly taken aback, Syaoran replied sheepishly, “Thank you.” That simple birthday wish had somehow made him feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Her words, her voice, her presence - he felt as though he had a glimpse of heaven.

As he watched her trot back to her team, he found himself feeling a tinge of excitement simmering in the crevices of his heart. Ever so slowly and gently, Li Syaoran saw himself walk out of his invisible inner sanctum he had drawn around himself in all those years of desolation. 

Happy birthday, Li-san.

It was unbelievable how, in that moment, her words seemed like her own arms wrapping him in a tender embrace.

It felt… nice. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Order anything you want, okay? My treat!” Sakura announced cheerfully. 

“I can't let – ”

“I insist, Li-san. No one pays on their birthday, alright? Besides, you’ve all taken time out to come support me and my team today. It's the least I can do to thank the three of you.” Turning to her two students who were studying the menu with every ounce of concentration they could gather in their little heads, Sakura asked, “Have the both of you decided what you want?” 

“Hmm… we still can't decide. Everything looks so good on the menu!” Haitang murmured, her eyes still glued to the enticing photos of cakes and the myriad of sweet treats that the cafe offered. 

“I would recommend their strawberry shortcake and chocolate crepe cake. They are the bestsellers here. Their matcha adzuki bean swiss roll is pretty delightful too if you're not a huge fan of sweet things,” Sakura suggested.

“We love sweets!” Haitian exclaimed sunnily.

“Alright then, I'll get the both of you the strawberry shortcake and chocolate crepe cake! What about you, Li-san? What would you like?”

“Actually, I'm not really a dessert person-”

“Yeah, Uncle’s favourite food is dim sum!” Haitian declared.

“Oh! Mm… I know there's a restaurant around the corner that serves really decent dim sum-”

“No, it's alright. I'll have the matcha roll,” Syaoran cut in. When he saw Sakura's look of hesitance, he emphasised, “Really. I don't mind matcha.”

“Are you sure? We can always-”

“Yes, I'm sure. Don't worry about it. Matcha's good,” assured Syaoran. 

“Alright then.” Sakura smiled and headed for the counter to place order for the cakes.

“Could I have a candle for the matcha adzuki swiss roll?” Sakura requested in a low voice.

“Sure thing! We will deliver your cakes in a jiffy!” the cafe staff behind the counter chirped.

“Thanks!” 

After informing her companions that she would be visiting the washroom for a bit, Sakura scrolled through her contacts and pressed Hideki’s name. She had been bursting to share with him the news of her team winning the championship at the Annual Spring Cheerleading Competition. She had tried calling him earlier but there was no response. She figured he must be busy with training. She checked her watch again. It showed 4.38pm, so it meant it was now 11.38pm in California. Hideki should be back in his apartment after his training. Sakura drummed her fingers on her other arm anxiously as she listened to the steady ring, hoping that he would pick up soon.

There was a quick click on the other end of the line.

“Hello?” It was not Hideki. It was the voice of a woman. 

“Erm… hi, this is Kimura Hideki’s phone, is that correct?” Sakura inquired, feeling an unease creeping up her stomach. 

“Yes, who's this?” the woman drawled.

“I'm Kinomoto Sakura. I'm Hideki's-”

“Ah… Hideki’s girlfriend from Japan.”

“Y-yes. And you are…” 

“I'm Kairi Adams. I believe… we share a common love interest.” There was a hint of derision in her words, which made Sakura’s chest tighten and her breath shorter than the last. 

“What – what do you mean?” Sakura’s voice wavered, dropping in pitch. Her stomach started to twist as a sense of foreboding engulfed her entire being. 

Sakura’s question was followed by a snigger. “Well, if you want me to put it across point-blank… Kimura Hideki is someone I love.”

Kimura Hideki is someone I love. Love.

Sakura’s head started to spin. What did she just hear? Surely, there must be some kind of misunderstanding. Surely… 

“Hello? You still there?” came the voice that Sakura had grown to loathe in those brief minutes. She had never known hate. But right now, she could feel herself seething with… jealousy? Indignation? She didn’t know. She didn’t want to know. 

“Hideki is in the shower at the moment. Would you like him to call you back?” Again, that derision in her words that made Sakura feel dim-witted. She felt downright foolish. Not wanting to humiliate herself further, she disconnected the call.

~~~~~~~~~~

Smirking at Hideki’s phone which had returned to the home screen, Kairi swiped away the incoming call notification from Kinomoto Sakura, erasing it like it never happened. He didn’t need to know she had called. She, Kairi Adams, was never known to share her man with anyone. Kimura Hideki was hers and hers alone. And she was not prepared to let anything - anyone - scupper the relationship she had with him.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you alright, Kinomoto-sensei? You were away for quite a while,” asked a concerned Haitang. 

Sakura gave her a tight-lipped smile. “I’m alright.” Seeing the cakes on the table, she added, “Let’s sing a birthday song to your uncle, shall we?” 

“It’s really not necess –”

Ignoring Syaoran’s protest, Sakura gestured to the waitress. “Could you help us light up the candle, please?”

“Sure thing, dear!” 

In a nanosecond, the waitress came back with a lighter. She clicked it and set the candle alight. After thanking the waitress, Sakura and the siblings sang the birthday song in hushed voices. She had to stifle a giggle upon seeing how awkward the Li heir looked. 

“Make a wish,” Sakura coaxed.

Reluctantly, Syaoran closed his eyes and a moment of silence followed. Opening his eyes once more, he blew out the candle. 

“Happy birthday, Uncle! We love you!” Haitang and Haitian chirruped, as they gave Syaoran a tight hug. 

“Happy birthday, Li-san. I wish you all the happiness in the world. You deserve it,” Sakura wished, grinning at him.

“Thanks.” Syaoran’s lips curved into a small, appreciative smile. 

Noticing that the Kinomoto girl was unusually quiet and distracted when the siblings tried to engage her in their banter, Syaoran asked, his voice low, “Is everything alright? You were gone for quite a long while earlier on. Do you feel unwell?”

Sakura smiled. “Everything’s alright. Thanks for asking, Li-san.” She broke his graze abruptly and continued picking on her strawberry shortcake, not really focusing on what she was doing. Though she was all smiles outwardly, Syaoran could sense that something was troubling her. And he did not like the notion of her crumbling helplessly on the inside, all alone. He wished there was something he could do. 

“So, erm, where are you celebrating with your team later on? Winning championship in a national event is huge after all,” Syaoran started, his voice a tad uncertain. He was not used to making small talk.

Still toying with her cake, Sakura answered dismissively, “The girls suggested one of the nightclubs in Shibuya.” She tried to smile but it turned out half-hearted.

Nightclubs. Shibuya. It was an all too familiar scene that Syaoran had found himself in in his youth. He used to frequent these places though not of his own volition. He was assigned the task of protecting the well-being of his cousin, Meiling, by his mother while she gallivanted around late into the night. He had never enjoyed the night scene in Shibuya. It was too wild, too bright, too loud. But he felt a need to ensure she was safe. She was like a little sister to him. And he knew night clubs housed men who were not all innocent and pure, and drunkards were not an uncommon sight. 

“Ah, I see.”

Somehow, the thought of the Kinomoto girl in a nightclub with a pack of leering, predatory men did not sit well with him. But there was nothing he could do, was there? They were barely acquainted and it really wasn’t his business to encroach on her social life. And if she would be accompanied by her teammates like what was implied from her earlier response, he guessed it was unlikely she would be in any sort of danger. 

Still, he wished he could give her a long spiel about why girls like her should not visit a nightclub. 

He wished. And that wish would remain nothing but a mirage. 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Ugh, Hiiragizawa, I can’t believe you brought me here. You know how I -”

“Relax, cousin,” Eriol reassured. “You’re gonna have fun. You look you like you need some.” Taking his annoyed cousin by the arm, Eriol pulled him from the busy, well-lit streets of Shibuya into the darkened walkway that led to the interior of The Alley, one of the most popular night spots in the district. “I’ve invited Yamazaki and the boys too. It’s only once when a young man turns twenty-six, no?” Eriol continued to lug his protesting cousin through the tunnel-like walkway into the main area where the club’s patronisers were already gyrating to loud, bass-heavy music, further energised by neon lights that strobed across the dance floor, while some hung out at the bar imbibing clear or bright-coloured conscience-thwarting liquids. 

Just when Syaoran was about to retort with profanities, he caught sight of a familiar head of honey-coloured hair in the middle of the brightly lit dance floor. She was dancing, moving with perfect rhythm. Her hips swayed to the beat, and her arms raised gracefully above her head, catching the flashes of coloured lights that bounced around the room. Her eyes were closed, as though lost in the music. There was a slight smile on her lips as she moved with confidence and freedom. Her hair swung with each turn, catching the furiously dancing lights, and she glowed with a passion that seemed to draw others’ attention without even trying. Soon, she was surrounded by hungry-looking men waiting to devour their prey. But she remained oblivious to them all. 

“Sakura-chan seems to be having the time of her life, huh.” Syaoran overheard one of her friends’ comment. 

“Yeah, she does. One of the beautiful, profound effects of alcohol, isn’t it?” another one of her friends mused. 

“She looked a little out of sorts just now, though. I suspect it has something to do with Kimura-kun.” The brown-haired girl’s eyes darkened as she seemed to be mulling over her own spoken suspicion. 

“What about?” 

“I’m not sure. When I asked her if she had told Kimura-kun that we won first place, she only shook her head and did not elaborate further. And… she looked kind of… broken. Her eyes were watery when I mentioned Kimura-kun’s name. You know, like how people would look when they break up?”

Break up? Kimura? So the Kinomoto girl has a boyfriend? And for whatever reason, they aren’t exactly on good terms now, Syaoran thought to himself as he tried to piece the bits of information he got from… wait. What was he doing, eavesdropping on other people’s conversation?

Whether he was snooping or not was not pertinent to what he was concerned about in that moment. All he knew was that she had still gone through all the trouble of celebrating his birthday and keeping her spirits up when she was probably dealing with a host of unpleasant emotions that must have arisen from some relationship woes with that Kimura guy he had overheard her friend mention. 

He felt… he didn’t know what he should feel. All he knew was that he wanted to make sure she was alright. Whatever she was dealing with had no authority to erode her happiness, her joy. Much to Eriol’s perplexity, Syaoran marched towards the chaotic dance floor and squeezed through the warm, sweaty bodies, sidestepping a couple of girls who overtly shot him sensual looks as they attempted to rub their bodies against his. After a few curse words being hurled at him by some of the guys who wanted to press themselves up against the green-eyed dancing sensation and many unwanted touches by random girls who each wanted a piece of him, Syaoran found himself right behind his target. She did not notice him until he grabbed her by her arm and pulled her with him, away from the dance floor. He could feel her trying to break free from his firm grasp on her arm.

“What are you doing?” she protested, her words slightly slurred. 

She reeked of alcohol, a smell that did not fit her sweet, unassuming personality. She did not belong here. He wanted to take her away, as far as he could from this place. With the sub-conscious Sakura in tow, Syaoran meandered through the crowd until they were free from the ardently charged clusters of club patronisers. Then, he released his grip on her.

“You’re drunk, Kinomoto,” Syaoran said dryly. 

Sakura flashed him a simpering smile. “What are you doing here, future leader of the Li clan?”

“I… my cousin brought me here,” Syaoran said, his voice trailing off. 

“I see,” she acknowledged, giggling like a schoolgirl. “You’re here to pick up some chicks, huh.” She nodded her head towards the dance floor. She staggered unsteadily as she struggled to balance herself. 

“Look, I’ll bring you home. Let’s go,” Syaoran stated firmly, holding her by her shoulders to steady her. 

Sakura shrugged his hands off. “Leave me alone. I’m fine.”

“You’re not. You are drunk.”

“Better than being sober,” Sakura muttered, her body swaying like the tree branches on a windy day. 

“I’ll go get you some water.” Syaoran was about to turn on his heels and head for the bar when he felt a clammy hand grasp his own. 

“Stay.” 

Syaoran swivelled to face her. Her eyes were a shade darker, a longing pouring from her intense gaze. 

Emerald fixed on amber.

Every cell in his body froze as she edged closer, her face just an inch from the crook of his neck. He could hear her breath, slow and deep. 

“You smell like bergamot,” she breathed, her nose tickling his skin. Then, she tilted her head upwards to meet his gaze. Cupping his face, her hold surprisingly tender and careful in her intoxicated state, she whispered, “You're handsome. Really… handsome.” Her eyes… when she looked at him like that, with so much fondness, so much desire, it made him utterly helpless.

Syaoran stood rooted to the ground, transfixed, as he let her fingers trace the contours of his face. He had never allowed anyone to touch him like that - she had pushed past his boundaries, toppling over every invisible fence that surrounded his heart. She had unapologetically and brazenly intruded his zone. And he did not want to stop her. He watched her searching eyes trace every part of him that she could land them on, holding his breath with great trepidation. What would become of him if he continued to allow her to explore him, to seek him, to touch him, the way she was doing now? 

Syaoran stiffened as he felt her head rest against his chest, her hands doing the same. His heart was hammering so loudly that it could easily drown out the blaring music from the dance floor. His arms hung stiffly at his sides as he heard her let out a soft sigh. 

“You’re cuddly, like my teddy bear,” she mumbled, her eyes closed in contentment. “But you’re handsome. Handsome men can’t be trusted.” 

Although he knew Sakura was not in her most levelheaded state and she was probably only prattling, he could not help but to feel the need to defend himself. “I don’t consider myself handsome,” he stated, his tone solemn, “And no one has ever told me I – ”

“But you’re very cuddly. And warm. Being so close to you… makes me feel at home,” she sighed, burying her head deeper into his shirt. 

Syaoran wondered how much of this night she would remember when she woke from her tipsy trance, but he figured it didn't really matter. All it mattered was this very moment that he was having with her. It all felt so surreal yet tangible as the soothing heat of her body spread across his own. Although her breath was heavy with the smell of liquor, she exuded the sweet scent of strawberries and vanilla. He didn't want to rouse from this sublime reverie…

“You're a jerk, a despicable, deceitful jerk,” Sakura blurted.

“Wha-” 

“How could you lie to my face and say you love me when you're in the arms of another woman?” 

She balled up her hands into fists, but her eyes were still closed. “Did I… Did I mean anything to you?” Tears streamed down her eyes.

“I'm afraid… you do, Kinomoto,” Syaoran muttered into her hair. He fought the urge to circle his arms around her, to hold her tight against him. He didn't want to run away from himself anymore. He was tired of living like a hermit, tired of always trying to live up to others’ expectations of him, tired of all his apprehensions about exposing himself to trivialities.

And who said the small things didn’t matter? If they didn’t, the world wouldn’t exist, would it? Atoms, molecules, particles, cells – they are the small things that make up the big things in the universe. 

He was a human being with a beating heart, not a robot assembled mechanically. And humans are meant to feel. Humans are created out of love to love and be loved. Where love is, fear cannot exist. 

After an endless mental turmoil, Syaoran tuned out every voice of disapproval and gently, ever so gently, wrapped his arms around the girl whom he was going to learn about love all over again, inhaling strawberries and vanilla – a scent that was so untainted, so comforting. 

For once, he prayed that whatever his mother's plan was, it would all work out seamlessly. 

He scooped her sleeping frame up in one graceful sweep and made his way out of The Alley, leaving Eriol and his friends behind wondering where in the world the birthday boy had gone to. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 5 : Warmth

“I’ll be driving,” Syaoran stated, as he took the transponder key fob from the family’s long-standing chauffeur, Sakamoto Ryuichi.

“Are you sure, Syaoran-sama?” the middle-aged, soft-spoken driver asked as he took in uncertainly the unexpected sight before him – the Young Master cradling a girl in his arms, holding her securely as if she were a child. He marvelled at how tenderly and carefully the usually stoic boy held the girl, who was deeply comatose, close to him.

“I didn’t drink so it’ll be safe.”

“Sure, Syaoran-sama.”

Ryuichi held the door open for Syaoran who gingerly eased the sleeping Sakura down onto the passenger seat, adjusting the seatback slightly to ensure that she was comfortable. A tiny smile crept up on Ryuichi’s face as he watched how attentive and genteel the Young Master was as he fussed over the girl who was in his arms a few moments ago. He perceived that she must be someone special to him. The thought instantly warmed his heart. He had watched the Young Master grow up all these years and go through the different phases of his life. From a tottering toddler with a face of cherubic innocence to a fine, young man who oozed charm that he didn’t know he had. It had been heart-wrenching witnessing the Young Master transform from a boy who had such vibrant sense of wonder and excitement to a man wrapped in a whirlwind of struggles and gnarled by his premature assumption of duties as the heir of the Li clan, which had inevitably caused him to guard himself so staunchly and build invisible walls around him. Hence, Ryuichi was heartened to get a glimpse of his soft, nurturing side .

After ensuring his companion was safely tucked in the passenger seat, Syaoran jogged over to the driver’s side with Ryuichi trailing behind. He reached for the door handle with a gloved hand and held it open for the Young Master. After the latter had slipped into the car, the older man closed the door and bowed. “Drive safe, Syaoran-sama.”

With a nod of his head, Syaoran mumbled his thanks as he buckled his seatbelt and turned the ignition on. The engine revved to life.

Ryuichi watched as the glossy, black Bentley cruise away, at a speed slower than what the Young Master would normally go, until it was just a speck.

~~~~~~~~~

Sakura stirred, her eyes fluttered open. The sky was as velvety black as she had last seen it – how long ago was it? She moved her head in a slow, sweeping arc, and her eyes grew large as they landed on the Li son’s recumbent form next to her. His eyelids were gently pressed together, his arms hanging limply at the sides. What was he doing here? Why was she with him?

Sakura scanned her surrounding – she was in the Lis’ car and it was parked at an inconspicuous corner near the entrance of the Li compound. She scoured her mind for the events that occurred earlier on and to her utter horror, she vaguely recalled snippets of her inebriated ramblings and outrageously inappropriate gestures, which she was not even sure if it was part of reality or her somnolent dreams.

She peered warily at the sleeping figure just beside her. Surely… she didn't behave outlandishly… or did she? Sakura let out a sigh of frustration, as she castigated herself for her idiocy, calling herself stupid over and over again. She dreaded what was to come when the Li son awakened. She contemplated if she should just make a run for it but she trashed the idea when she looked at all the different, complicated-looking buttons that peppered the car's interior. What if she pressed the wrong button? The consequences could be dire. Kinomoto Sakura was technologically challenged, a trait that was always the source of her brother's jest.

She turned her gaze to the Li son again. He was still sound asleep. Somehow, Sakura thought the seemingly ridiculous situation she was in now gave her the opportunity to observe this inscrutable but deeply captivating man who was just a foot away from her.

Sakura watched his chest rise and fall slowly and steadily with each inhale and exhale. Even in his slumbering form, he radiated a charm that was inexplicably overwhelming and capable of making one's cheeks flare. He had an overpowering presence that instilled a reverent fear in her, somewhat similar to what she felt when she was around Hideki. But the difference was she didn't feel the need to constantly measure up to a set of self-imposed standards to convince herself that she was indeed compatible with, or even just being in proximity to the versatile, greatly coveted Kimura Hideki. In the presence of the Li son, she felt safe, even though he was almost a stranger to her.

Sakura remembered how she had let derogatory voices erode her self-esteem even when he had confessed his admiration for her and declared his desire to court her. She was supposed to be on cloud nine instead of being in the pit of self-doubt. But amidst the nagging voices that stemmed from her own insecurities, Sakura had felt a ball of shameless pride swell inside her, giving her self-confidence an added punch.

Sadly, borrowed confidence is not confidence. It did nothing except gave one the illusion that they had unwavering faith in themselves when in fact, it was all because of someone or something else. Hideki’s favour towards Sakura became the debt that she had been accumulating since they started dating. And now, it was all crashing down on her like an avalanche.

Sakura’s familiar world had gone tumbling down in a matter of seconds after the fateful phone conversation the previous day. She had always known Hideki was exceptionally popular among the opposite gender wherever he went, but he had always, always made it clear to his admirers that he was taken and blissfully so. Hence, she had never thought he would one day stab her in the back with another woman. She had guilelessly thought how fortunate she was to have found such a near flawless man she could call her own. Now she was left with nothing but a crushing sense of disappointment and a surge of bitter disillusionment that would continue to linger for a long time to come.

Becoming intoxicated was not habitual for her, let alone going wild dancing and sashaying in the middle of a huge crowd. She attributed her emboldened actions to the confounding effects of alcohol, of which she vowed never to touch even a drop again. Now she only hoped she had not committed any vile acts that would make her a nuisance to the Li son. How would she face him if she had indeed acted foolishly or worse, said things to him she should not have?

Despite the rampant imagined possibilities running wild in her head, Sakura felt her heart experience an inexplicable sense of peace when her olfactory nerves picked up the familiar scent of bergamot. It came from the Li son. She still remembered that embracing smell from their first head-on encounter in his room. She allowed her eyes to roam his slightly dishevelled chocolate-brown hair, his finely chiselled features and broad, athletic frame. He looked somewhat like Hideki, except Hideki had black hair, his body was marginally more ripped and sinewy, and he was a few inches taller. But the way she felt in the midst of the intimidating Li son was somewhat… reassuring. It was a peculiar combination of discrepant feelings that Sakura was still trying to wrap her head around.

Deciding to give her woozy brain a break from trying to fathom the degree of damage she had likely done to her reputation and repulsion that had probably been etched in the Li son, and which had probably intensified because of whatever she had said or done or both in her befuddled state, she entertained her own wishful thinking that she could cast a Memory Charm on the Li son and obliviate every pixel of the earlier events, like how the characters in the Harry Potter series were capable of.

To her consternation, Sakura saw him blink open his eyes and suppress a yawn as he stretched his arms. In that moment, she wished she could just vanish into thin air. Unfortunately, she was still as visible as a lighthouse on a dark night. There was no way of escape from this predicament that she had brought upon herself. Accepting her fate, Sakura readied herself for an onslaught of contemptuous comments from the Li son, who was now eyeing her with a look of… she didn’t know what it was. She could never tell what he was thinking because he always shielded himself so well. It was a territory she could never infiltrate into.

“Are you… okay?” he asked, looking uncertainly at her, his tone surprisingly gentle and full of concern.

“I’m okay. How did I -”

“End up here? You don’t remember, do you?” Sakura swore she saw a flash of disparagement in his dark, amber eyes.

She did have fleeting glimpses of what had possibly transpired between them a few hours ago, though she could not be sure if they were just figments of her own imagination from her pickled state. Even if they were real, Sakura was not going to admit she had said or done those things. Playing dumb would be the best strategy under such circumstances.

“Not really… no,” she murmured with a slight shake of her head, averting her eyes and focusing them on the night sky above.

“Okay,” the Li son answered.

“Li-san, why did you stop the car here?” Sakura queried, tilting her head. She was curious why he chose to park it outside the compound when it was way more sensible to drive through it and get themselves back in the house.

A slight, sardonic smile escaped his lips. “What would the servants or my family members think if they saw you, a tutor , in your… wasted state? ”

Sakura blinked rapidly, as if clearing away a fog. Her brows lifted slightly as the realisation settled, undeniable. Well, what he said made absolute sense. I can’t return return looking all tipsy and dishevelled. Or worse, I could have said some stupid things and risk losing my job. “ Right, that makes sense. Thank you. For considering that aspect,” Sakura acknowledged gratefully, her face wreathed in a kindly smile.

“You owe me one,” said Syaoran, his voice laced with mock seriousness. Even if he meant it as a joke, no one could tell for his facial expression was perpetually unreadable. Then again, every word that proceeded from the mouth of Li Syaoran had a purpose. How could it not when he had an entire empire that depended on him, its fate hanging by the thread of his decisions?

“H-hoe?!” Sakura gulped. She examined the face of the Li son to determine if he was being serious. When he didn’t respond, she knew he meant what he just said. “Wh—what can I do to return the favour?” she asked hesitantly, fidgeting uneasily in her seat.

Draping his arms in a casual fold, Syaoran fixed his eyes on her. There was a proprietary air about him, as he seemed to dictate the flow of the conversation. He noticed how the Kinomoto girl was all tensed up as she awaited his reply, her face shrouded in a mist of disquiet and unease. If only he could smooth away the creases with a touch of his fingers. Even with her hair all tousled and her makeup slightly smudged, she still looked incredibly beautiful. There was a certain je ne sais quoi within her that gave her that extra sparkle, that imperceptibly caused him to be so drawn to her. She was different from all the women he had met and dated. She was like a rare gem in a sea of stones that had gradually left an indelible, paradigm-shifting mark in his heart, awakening it to the goodness of this world he used to shun. Even in her despair and deep disappointment from a broken relationship, she still embodied so much warmth and affection. She still… felt for things, for people, unlike him who chose to steer clear of any kinds of emotions that could otherwise besiege him and crush him under their hefty weight.

The greatest loss in Li Syaoran’s life had become his greatest weakness.

But the convergence of his path with the Kinomoto girl’s had illuminated a life-changing truth—weakness does not determine his fate, but what he does with it will.

“Go out with me,” Syaoran stated, his face as calm as the still waters. But inwardly, he had to expend every ounce of his energy in a supreme effort to subdue his increasing anxiety and frenzied thumping of his heart. He was not used to feeling so unsettled, so jittery, so distressed. He was taught and trained to be level-headed in all circumstances. But everything he had learnt about controlling the human tendencies of his body, mind and spirit had gone down the drain in this very moment. He braced himself for the worst. It was his coping mechanism—anticipating the worst so he could quickly build a shield around himself to safeguard his heart. He could not allow it to be eroded or ripped apart by chagrin, regret, despair—none of the debilitating states of mind could intrude his core. That was what Syaoran was like—impressively unflappable, brutally disciplined and adamantly unyielding. The way he regarded and treated himself extended to how he regarded and treated others. He expected from others as much he expected from himself. But with the Kinomoto girl, he found his meticulously systematic way of doing things and his remarkable shrewdness in forestalling any complications reduced to a mere phantasm. With her, he could not cast accurate projections like he could with business. With her, he could not discipline his heart and mind because they would simply run to her like an unleashed dog. With her, he felt he would do anything just to see her radiant smile, to bask in her warmth.

Logic, intellect and sense could not stand in her sweet, all-consuming presence.

~~~~~~~~~

“Wh-what?” Did she hear him correctly? Was she still in her drunken stupor? Was she so intoxicated that she was starting to hallucinate?

Go out with me.

Sakura gaped at the Li son, gobsmacked, with eyes as huge as saucers in total disbelief. Flabbergasted, she remained speechless, her mind was a complete blank.

“You heard me,” he said, his voice monotonous. “Spend a day, with me.” He continued to stare into her emerald eyes with so much intensity that she could feel his fiery energy searing through every fibre of her skin.

Spend a day with the Li son? Why?

After a long heavy silence, Sakura managed to regain her composure and sat up straighter, as though trying to navigate the conversation in her favour. Narrowing her eyes and folding her arms in front of her, she intoned, “Why would you want that?” She knew about his dating history and it puzzled her profoundly that he would want to spend one of his precious days with her. Her. A girl who was insipid like a plain toast. A trait that was ruthlessly proven true less than twenty-four hours ago. Why would someone as regal and unassailable as him want to go out with a plain Jane like her—Kinomoto Sakura? Surely with just a snap of his fingers, he could command any woman he desired to go out with him. So… why her? Was it because he was tired of the superfluous beauty that constantly surrounded him, instilling the sick desire in him to find novelty in drab, unadorned girls like Sakura?

She willed herself to maintain eye contact with the Li son as she awaited his response. She wanted to hear what ludicrous reasons he had sitting in that conceited, arrogant head of his. Having been betrayed by the man whom she had trusted wholeheartedly, Sakura was bound and determined to guard herself, her heart , as resolutely and steadfastly as she could. She would not let it be trampled and crushed all over again.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” Hideki asked, his cheeks a light shade of pink, his feet shuffling from side to side.

Sakura looked at him with incredulous eyes. Kimura Hideki, the star player of Tokyo U’s basketball team wanted a date with her? The notion was somehow preposterous and unthinkable. “Me? You want to go on a date with me?” She looked over her shoulder to make sure he was indeed speaking to her.

Hideki chuckled and ran a hand absently through his freshly washed hair. He had just finished his basketball training. “Y—yeah. Would I have the honour to?” He looked at her expectantly, his tone earnest like a little child requesting for an ice cream cone.

“Why… why me?”

“Why not you?”

“Well, you… have at least a dozen girls who - ”

“Don’t quite match up to you,” Hideki finished. Exhaling slowly, he confessed, “I’ve—I’ve liked you for some time.”

“You did?” Sakura could not believe her ears. Kimura Hideki had a crush on her?

Smiling sheepishly, Hideki admitted, “Since middle of Year 1. Remember? When we had to work on a group project for Economics?”

Sakura sifted through her brain to retrieve that particular memory. “Ah, yes. I remember. I… I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t,” he answered, “I kept it to myself because… I wasn’t sure if you would like me back. I was a coward with zero experience in love.” Hideki rocked back and forth on his trainers as he continued, “Your authenticity and passion for the things you believe in attracted me. The more I got to know you, the more attracted I was to you.” He paused as he took in a deep breath before speaking, “Before I knew it, I… I found myself… in love with you.” His cheeks went a shade darker and his voice grew soft at the last four words.

Upon receiving an unexpected confession from someone whom she never imagined would even notice her, Sakura’s eyes widened and a flush spread across her cheeks. She took a step back, completely caught off guard. For a moment, she was silent as she tried to process what she had just heard. Her lips parted as if to speak, but no words came out. She had just received a confession from Kimura Hideki, whose name alone could make every girl swoon. And this eye candy of nearly the entire female population in Tokyo U was in love with her. It was… hard to believe. But it made her heart do a somersault and a reverse leap all at once.

Finally, Sakura found her voice and uttered faintly , “ I … don ’t know what to say—I mean, this is really sudden. I… I ’m not sure what to say.” A small, nervous laugh escaped her as she shifted her feet from side to side, unsure of how to handle the new tension that was hanging heavily in the air.

With newfound courage, Hideki gently took her hand in his and looked her in the eye. “You don’t need to give me an answer straight away,” he said hurriedly, “We could just… you know, hang out. And get to know each other better before we commit to anything.”

Sakura gave his hand a light squeeze and took a step closer towards him. She gave him a tiny, bashful smile and replied, “Sure, we could hang out.”

Ever since that confession, Sakura and Hideki had been spending a copious amount of time together—studying for their midterms and finals, lunches, dinners, movies, waiting for each other to go home together after trainings, talking on the phone till the wee hours, being there for each other at every competition—cheerleading or basketball. Finally, Sakura had given her heart to him on their graduation day and the many days and months after—wholly and unreservedly. She had loved Hideki with all her heart and if giving her heart to someone would reap such excruciating pain, she wondered if it was a price worth paying for the fleeting moments of happiness it might bring. Perhaps she might have been better off guarding it instead of giving anyone the power to break it. Sakura let out a shaky breath as she lamented her foolishness and over all the memories with Hideki that were now nothing but sources of despair and resentment.

Sakura cast a sidelong glance at the Li son who was raking his fingers through his hair as he let out a soft chuckle. It sounded… nervous? He licked his lips and fixated his gaze on the windshield. His pensive, slightly withdrawn expression caused an inadvertent tug at Sakura’s heartstrings. That look. Of forlornness, longing, a quiet sadness that seemed to have taken residence in his heart for a long, long time. She remembered how she sensed his inner conflict beneath his aloof, uncaring countenance and wondered what he was really like underneath all those layers of defence he had so fastidiously placed around him. But right now, she was not in the mood to study another man. All she wanted was to be alone, to grieve and then move on.

In spite of herself, her heart leapt when he fixed his eyes on hers. That smouldering, penetrating, commanding gaze that could cut through steel and demand all her attention. When he began to speak, Sakura held her breath as though afraid.

“I want to get to know you,” he started. “And I hope… you’d give me the chance to.”

“What would you like me to say?”

“Say yes.”

“Hmm.”

“Remember, you owe me one.”

Sakura saw a sly smirk playing on his lips. He probably wanted to experience what it was like being with a commoner like her and he would very likely find her a bore and that would be the end of it. Just a day wouldn’t hurt. And besides, he didn’t say it was a date and she did owe him a favour for protecting her reputation. As long as she kept her heart in check, all would be fine.

“Alright, you said a day, right?”

“No more, no less.”

“Okay, which day works for you?”

“How about next Saturday? The kids will be away with my sister next week till Sunday.”

“Sounds good.”

“Great. Let me know if there’s any place you’d like to go. If not and if you don’t mind, you can follow my lead.” The Li son fished out his smartphone from his jacket’s pocket and said in a businesslike tone, “I’ll need your number.”

After exchanging their numbers, Sakura let out a little yelp when she saw the time on her phone. It was almost five in the morning. How on the earth was she going to sneak up to her room without bumping into anyone in the mansion? The servants were usually up and about by this time.

Noticing her distraught state, Syaoran asked, “Everything alright?”

Sakura glanced at him, her forehead creased. “I’m not sure how we’re going to get into the house without anyone noticing.”

Raising his eyebrows as if a sudden realisation had dawned on him, Syaoran said, “I’ve a plan. You aren’t afraid of heights, right?”

Peering at him hesitantly, Sakura mumbled, “ No, I’m not. ” How could she when she was the flyer of her team’s pyramid formation?

“Then just do as I say.”

Sakura swallowed. She had no choice but to place her faith in this man whom she barely knew. Strangely though, the weight of his words and just his aura of calm strength gave her the assurance that she could indeed trust him. As Syaoran started the engine and moved the gear lever to ‘D’, Sakura could not help but to steal a glance at his side profile.

Li Syaoran—was really handsome. And strikingly so.

And she had said it to his face without any qualms in a secluded spot at The Alley hours ago.

But handsome men cannot be trusted.

Can they?

~~~~~~~~~~

“What makes you think I can climb trees?” Sakura scoffed in spite of her efforts to remain respectful towards the son of her boss. She peered up at the tree that was in front of her, towering over everything else, including the mansion. It looked primeval, with rough and deeply textured bark that seemed to bear the marks of countless seasons. The sheer size of this ancient tree was not something someone her size and non-existent tree-scaling experience should contend with. Scowling at the Li son who was already rolling up the sleeves of his white button-down, Sakura was completely nonplussed by how he was going to lead his clan with his warped sense of logic. Scaling a tree as massive as this was insanely precarious.

“Don’t you know how dangerous it is? I don’t think I want to risk my life over my reputation,” Sakura pointed out, her arms folded resolutely over her chest.

“Not if you’re with me,” Syaoran replied plainly.

Sakura’s face scrunched up with deep suspicion and asked in a tone as polite as her worried mind would allow, “What do you intend to do?”

An impish grin lit up his face and he said mysteriously, “Something fun.”

He held out his hand, palm facing upwards. Sakura noticed it was toughened and slightly calloused, but there was a certain grace in the way he offered it that made her want to trust him.

“I promise you, you will live to see the sun rise,” Syaoran reassured, though his burnished eyes glinted playfully.

Sakura swallowed and reluctantly, she took his hand. To her surprise, a surge of comforting warmth spread through her, causing her spine to tingle and her shoulders stiffen. Syaoran gently pulled her behind him and guided her arms to curl around his shoulders as he crouched on his haunches, letting her climb onto his back.

“Hold tight,” Syaoran instructed.

Sakura gripped her elbows tightly and pressed her fingers on the soft curves of her arms, trying to leave as much space between her and the Li son as possible. His shoulders were reassuringly broad, the muscles in his back felt robust and snug, and the nape of his neck was firm but smooth. His scent of bergamot still lingered on his slightly tanned skin. Sakura was amazed at how such a distant and detached person like him could have such an inviting and soothing presence, which gave her a sense of security she could not find in anyone or anywhere else. It made her feel invincible, like she would never be harmed or hurt in any way. It gave her a mystifying sense of peace that all was and would be well.

When Syaoran ensured that Sakura was perched safely on him, he hoisted her up, his hands holding her legs. Sakura could hear him mutter inaudible words under his breath. The imperceptible sound that came out of his mouth was unfathomably transformed into a luminous burst of white blue light that circled and glowed at his feet. Sakura was momentarily stunned by the inconceivable, ethereal sight below her. A gasp of admiration and amazement escaped her lips. She had never seen anything so celestial, so mystical.

Then, with a slight bend of his knees, he launched the both of them upwards, his body shooting towards the sky with astonishing speed. Sakura shrieked as she tightened her hands and legs around Syaoran, almost squeezing every ounce of breath out of him. Her eyes were tightly and forcefully shut, as though opening them would hurl her downwards onto the ground.

After what seemed like a decade, though in reality only a few seconds had passed, Syaoran landed on one of the branches, his footing light but steady. He craned sideways to check on his rider. “You alright?”

Sakura was breathing erratically, her mouth dry from all the screaming and her heart was throbbing painfully and frantically in her chest. It didn’t seem possible that she would ever recover from the insanely frenetic, staggering, terrifying episode she just had.

“I can’t believe what just happened,” Sakura managed to speak, almost in a whisper. There was an unmistakeable tremor in her voice.

“Told you, you would live,” Syaoran said, his voice casual, as if this whole landing in a tree in one exploding leap was something he did on a daily basis, like exercise.

After regaining her equilibrium but still not ready to loosen her hold on the Li son, Sakura asked, “What was that underneath your feet earlier on? Your feet—your feet seemed to give off some kind of glow.”

Syaoran’s back stiffened. “You—you could see… it?”

“You mean I wasn’t supposed to?”

“As far as I know, only those with magic powers are able to observe the myriad expressions of magic spells being cast. So unless…” A sudden realisation interrupted his flow of speech. Carefully and slowly, he let his temporary rider down, who wobbled and almost fell off the tree branch as she realised how high up she was. Syaoran caught one of her flailing arms and hugged her around the waist in one swift, nimble motion. He gazed upon her ashen face, its owner apparently appalled by the sheer fact that she nearly lost her footing and was on the verge of succumbing to the effects of gravity. A smile crawled up on Syaoran’s lips as he stated matter-of-factly, “You have magic in you.”

Not daring to move even an inch, Sakura remained in his embrace, her brain ticking over the preposterous claim he had just made. Really, he and his peculiar mind. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sakura squeaked, still trying to restore her calm. “Magic? That only happens in fictions.”

“Ever seen things others can’t? Or sense stuff that you can’t really explain in words without appearing unhinged?”

What Syaoran had just said brought her into a state of epiphany. He verbalised what she had been grappling with nearly her whole life. She recalled all the shimmers, glitters, radiantly coloured clouds of billowing smoke, gently swaying solid air, out of the world melodies, sharper than usual senses, the baffled looks on faces when she tried to explain what she had seen or heard.

Li Syaoran… understood. He knew why.

“I did. Actually, I still do,” Sakura mumbled, meeting his gaze with her incredulous ones.

He had made the penny drop. He had just helped her apprehend why she could see and hear and sense all that she did. It was… the magic running in her veins, through her cells, illuminating and magnifying those which were easily brushed off by most. Lightning bolts of revelation struck her from all corners as she let the truth sink in. She wasn’t the only odd one in this world, after all. If having magic was considered odd, that is. For that, she wasn’t sure if she should feel relieved or if she should be wary about the implications of having magic brewing and bubbling inside her would culminate.

As though he could read her feverishly working mind, Syaoran said, surprisingly tenderly, “There’s nothing to fear. It can be your friend, comrade, your help in times of need.” Seeing her still confused expression, he added, “It’s like a kind of energy. You can see it as a powerful, invisible force that flows through and connects everything, even people, in the universe. It exists on a different frequency from those that govern the natural world. That is why not everyone has the ability to sense like we do. If you partner with it like how you would a friend, it could work in your favour.”

We. He made it sound like they were on equal grounds, when in fact, the worlds they came from were so fundamentally, radically different. But for some strange reasons, she relished the idea that they had something in common, even if it was as remote as a shadow in the fog.

“So… what do I do now that I know I have magic in me?” Sakura asked, still clinging on to Syaoran for dear life.

“It’s an insanely complex field of study,” Syaoran explained, “But the mastery of it is not something that is beyond reach.”

Loosening his grip on her, Syaoran took hold of her hand, which felt so soft and right in his. Pointing to the window in front of them, he said, “Did you lock it?”

Sakura suddenly realised they were standing right outside her room. She shook her head. Then, Syaoran gently led her towards the window to her room. He slid open the glass pane and helped her climb through the opening. When she was safe inside, Syaoran continued, his feet still planted steadily on the branch, “I may not be the most qualified person to teach you about magic, but I have learnt from the best and… I believe I can offer you guidance should you ever need any.”

Sakura smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Li-san. For tonight, for everything.”

“If you’re truly thankful, then drop the honorifics,” Syaoran said, leaning towards her. “I believe we aren’t too diverse in age.”

He was even more handsome up close. Sakura felt her cheeks redden. “H— hoe? ”

Noticing her slight blush even in the dimness of their surrounding, Syaoran stifled a chuckle before he said with a serious front, “For a start, believe in yourself, and the power within you. Cliche, but important in the practice of magic.”

“Ah… okay. I will remember that,” Sakura mumbled, her cheeks still embarrassingly heated. “Thank you… Li-kun.”

Syaoran grinned, like how he did in that photo that stood on his desk in his room.

It was so infectious that it made Sakura beam as brightly as the morning sun even though her eyelids were as heavy as lead.

Keep smiling like this, Li-kun.

~~~~~~~~~

“Wait. Wait wait wait. You said Li Syaoran asked you to spend a day with him this Saturday? Li Syaoran?” Tomoyo asked, her amethyst eyes were as wide as the two fancy porcelain plates that sat on the tea table between them. They were each adorned with a slice of triple chocolate cake which the two best friends had yet to touch. The girl with thick tresses as dark as the midnight sky pooling at her waist seemed to have too much to digest in her system, none of which fell into the category of food. She huffed, “I can’t believe you’re only telling me now.”

Bewildered by Tomoyo’s utter shock at a piece of seemingly innocent news, Sakura said, a tad hesitantly, “ Sorry, Tomoyo-chan. I didn’t think it was that big a deal.”

With an exaggerated flurry, Tomoyo cupped one of Sakura’s hands in hers. Looking at her with star-struck eyes, she stated with a tone of urgency, as if she needed her listener to understand what she was about to say, “Li Syaoran—is very, very notable among the upper class.”

“I know. You told me before.”

“Yes, but I don't think you understand the impact of this matter. From my insider sources, he has never once initiated a date with any girl in his entire life. You are the first.”

“Okay,” Sakura drawled. “How accurate are your insider sources?” she raised a sceptical eyebrow as she fed herself a mouthful of chocolate cake. The cream was so rich and satisfying.

“A hundred and one per cent,” Tomoyo replied confidently. “He must be really taken in by you. Which obviously isn't a surprise.” She winked mischievously.

“Erm, Tomoyo-chan, I really appreciate your love and unfailing faith in me but… I don't think we should get ahead of ourselves. It’s just an exchange of favours. He helped me and I reciprocate. Besides, guys with a background like his can’t really be trusted.” Sakura took another mouth of the chocolate cake. She sighed blissfully, “Where did you get this cake from? It's so delicious!”

Tomoyo tightened her hold on Sakura’s hand and said in an admonishing tone, “Sakura-chan, now isn't the time to rave over a cake! We are discussing your future here!”

Sakura rolled her eyes. Her best friend could be so dramatic at times. She pulled away from Tomoyo and crossed her arms over her chest. “In case you've forgotten, I am still walking out of a broken relationship. I am still trying to heal.” Sakura placed a hand over her heart and cast her eyes downwards as she gave a theatrical sigh. Come to think of, she had not shed a tear since the phone call. Perhaps she was still trying to make sense of everything.

Tomoyo ’s eyes softened. “I'm sorry I haven't asked you about Hideki-kun. Did you guys manage to talk after that phone call?”

Sakura shook her head and her eyes seemed distant. “I don't think I'm ready to talk to him.”

Tomoyo reached over and held both of Sakura’s hands, giving them a gentle squeeze. “When you're ready, you should let Hideki-kun explain. Whatever happens, you know I'm always here for you.”

Sakura smiled gratefully at her best friend. “Thank you, Tomoyo-chan.”

“Alright, back to our original topic—”

“Tomoyo-chan!”

So much for the sentimental moment they had just shared earlier on. Sakura laughed in spite of herself. She listened as her excited best friend blabbered animatedly on about what she should wear on Saturday, the possible places Li Syaoran would bring her, how he would evade any potential stalkers, and to Sakura's utter embarrassment, planning a dream wedding for her and the Li son. It seemed that the topic of Hideki had gone by the wayside.

When Tomoyo had learnt that Sakura and Hideki were officially seeing each other, she had been excited and happy for her. Hideki was her first, real boyfriend after all. Tomoyo had fussed over what she thought she should be wearing on their dates and pressed her for juicy information about the progress of their relationship. Sakura had filled her in on every detail she could recall and they would gush over Hideki’s tenderness and thoughtfulness.

“Isn’t he sweet?” Tomoyo would comment at every opportunity she got. It was like a punctuation for every recount Sakura shared.

But there were times when Sakura would suspect if Tomoyo’s saccharine reactions and remarks were just her way to give her a boost so that she would feel more confident about her relationship with Hideki. Now that Sakura thought about it, the way Tomoyo would look at Hideki was often one of caution and reserved politeness. If she had harboured even a remote sense of trepidation about her relationship with Hideki, Sakura could not tell. Tomoyo was always supportive, encouraging and assuring.

Perhaps, back then, her extraordinarily observant and intuitive friend already knew her heart was not entirely safe in his hands and would one day be broken by the very one who desired it.

Perhaps.

~~~~~~~~~

Tomoyo knew and understood Sakura inside out, like an open book. She had always known she had always felt she didn’t deserve the best, that she should just settle for less. She could not see how much value she was to the people around her. She saw the best in people but she only saw lack in herself.

As she watched her best friend savour the chocolate cake that she could not stop glorifying, Tomoyo’s heart broke just a little for the heartache that Sakura was probably trying to hide. But at the same time, she was somewhat relieved that things didn’t work out between her and Hideki.

Because.

Sakura deserved the best.

Though she didn’t personally know Li Syaoran, and only heard of him from her fellow blue blood acquaintances (which typically consisted mostly of enraptured talk), Tomoyo had a hunch that there was more to him than just his alluring good looks and icily hot personality. He was (to Tomoyo’s puzzlement) affectionately known as the irresistible heartbreaker by every lady who knew or heard about him but she believed—no—she knew her best friend’s heart would be perfectly safe with him.

Syaoran. Sakura.

Even their names alone sound like they were destined for each other.

~~~~~~~~~

SummerSensations: Thank you for reading till the end! <3

Chapter Text

Disclaimer: Fushigi Island is a fictitious place for the purpose of this story. :)

Chapter 6 : Only a Possibility

“I must say, Syaoran, I’m really proud of you. I’d never thought I’d live to see this day,” Eriol Hiiragizawa said, thumping his disgruntled cousin on his back, his fingers brushing away invisible tears.

“Well, too bad you have,” Syaoran mumbled. “Now, could you please take your hands off me?”

Eriol stepped away, chuckling. “Fine, fine. Seriously though, I still can’t believe you asked a lady out. You. The trampler of hearts.” He sauntered across Syaoran’s office and plopped himself onto the slate blue lounger sofa, his right arm hung idly over one of the removable cushions.

Fingers clacking away furiously on the keyboard, Syaoran retorted, “You can’t force something that isn’t meant to be. I’d be a real jerk if I led them on.”

“So you think you and that tutor are meant to be?” Eriol asked, his tone slightly teasing, but his eyes were fixed and intent.

He could be insatiably inquisitive at times and that irked Syaoran to the hilt. He stopped typing and looked up from his computer. He lounged against his chair and exhaled deeply. “I don’t know. All I know is… she is different from anyone I’ve met.”

“And you like how she makes you feel in her presence,” Eriol said, reflecting exactly Syaoran’s sentiments which had been tarrying inside him for weeks.

Instead of his usual tart, acid response and menacing glare, his usually scrutinising brown eyes were soft and pensive as he let Eriol’s words linger, letting the memories of their few encounters caress his soul. Yes, their interactions thus far were scant but they were enough to bring him into a state of pure bliss every time he allowed himself time to indulge in every word that was exchanged between them, every touch that sent delightful tingling in his spine and every minute detail of her beautiful face that made his heart race like a determined sprinter whose sole goal was to reach the finish line first. Li Syaoran had many goals set for himself, in business, in training, in everything that he needed to accomplish as the future leader of his clan. He even set goals for the dates his Mother arranged for him—how many sessions he would give each girl before he called it quits. He was very adept at planning, foreseeing problems and formulating solutions to forestall any unwanted conundrum. But with the Kinomoto girl, every skill and knowledge he had acquired in his years of intensive cognitive and physical trainings were rendered irrelevant. He could plan but chances were it would be derailed. He could foresee potential hurdles but his pragmatic foresight would likely be overshadowed by his beating organ inside his chest cavity. Instead of coming up with answers, he himself needed elucidation when it came to her. Logic could not stand when it came down to the matters of the heart.

“Have you heard from the second daughter of the Wangs?” Eriol asked, breaking his train of thoughts.

“Who?” Syaoran eyed his cousin quizzically, as if the question was out of this world.

Eriol smirked wryly. “The one whom you just dumped, not too long ago.”

Syaoran blinked, as a light of recognition flickered in his eyes. “You mean Wang Zhenni?”

“How many second daughters does the Wang family have?” Eriol replied, his voice laced with sarcasm.

Ignoring the bespectacled man’s taunting tone, Syaoran said, “I haven’t heard from her since our last conversation at the hotel. Why do you ask?”

Eriol shrugged noncommittally. “I just thought with their extent of influence and insurmountable pride of their own kind, I was expecting a backlash against you. Her father is not one to contend with.”

“He should be thankful I put a stop to dating his daughter. I don’t think he would want her to spend the rest of her life with an empty shell.”

Eriol raised his eyebrows, half amused, half sympathetic. “So you acknowledge you’re one giant iceberg?”

Syaoran shot him daggers with a glare as scorching as the midday sun. Once again, he chose to snub his comment and went on, “Zhenni is a decent girl. She deserves someone who can truly love her the way she deserves.”

Nodding his head slowly and deliberately, Eriol asked, “What if her clan threatens you into marrying her? I heard they are one formidable bunch. Besides, your family is highly sought after by many other prestigious ones. The Wangs are especially power-hungry. They will do anything to connect their lineage with yours.” A genuine look of worry eclipsed his usually puckish disposition as he continued, “You cannot be too cautious when it comes to the Wang’s, Xiao Lang. Tread lightly but carefully.”

Eriol’s unusually concerned tone took Syaoran by surprise, causing him to be uncharacteristically agreeable to his childhood nemesis. “I—I will. Thanks for the heads-up.”

“Anyway, good luck with your tutor. I hope she teaches you a thing or two about how to be more approa—”

Eriol dodged a pen that was flying across the room towards him and ran for the door. Peeking his head in, he added, “You know where to find me if your luck ever runs out!”

Before Syaoran could hurl another stationery at his navy blue-haired cousin, the door clicked shut. Reclining against his leather swivel chair, his palms resting on his stomach, he mulled over what Eriol had just said. Though he could be a prick most of the time, his words could not be dismissed as without veracity.

The Wangs. He had never given much thought about their clan until just then. Eriol mentioned they were an influential family. Come to think of it, their name seemed to ring a bell but he could not quite piece it to any fragment of his memory where he had heard about them. Perhaps his mother could enlighten him. He needed to preclude even the remotest source of menace that could jeopardise the security and position of his clan. That—was his responsibility as the future leader of the Li clan.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sakura’s phone chimed. A message had come in for her. She tapped the screen lightly to unlock it. The phone flickered to life and she swiped gently to the messaging app. The name ‘Li Syaoran’ appeared at the top of her list of messages because she had just received a text from him. She tapped it open with her thumb.

*I ’ll see you at the foyer at 10am tomorrow. Dress comfortably.*

Just when Sakura was about to reply Syaoran’s message, a notification popped up. It was from Hideki. Her brows furrowed as she tapped it open.

*Hey, haven’t heard from you in a while. Everything ok?*

Sakura sighed irritably and slid her finger across the screen, pushing the message aside. She tapped open the conversation with Li Syaoran again and her thumbs hovered over the keyboard to type a response.

*Ok. See you tomorrow.*

It was Friday, a day before her ‘date’ with the Li son. She had let him decide where to bring them simply because she didn’t like to make decisions. It was the same with Hideki. When they were together, she would often leave it to him to decide—be it the restaurant they were to dine in, the movie they were to watch, the park or the mall to gallivant around, stroll or lounge after a meal, everything. Sakura enjoyed letting Hideki take the lead in their relationship. Was she not fully invested in the relationship? Truth was, despite being the passive partner that she was, Sakura had always made sure to appreciate every ounce of effort her boyfriend had put in to make their dates impeccably pleasant. As often as possible and whenever appropriate, Sakura would shower him with words of affection, appreciation and admiration, and she would listen intently to everything he had to say by giving him the occasional nod of her head or her favourite verbal affirmation of ‘mmhmm’ which was really more than just a two-syllable sound that came out of her mouth. She would look at him with those soft, endearing eyes of hers as she hung on every word he said. Occasionally, her lips would curl into a subtle smile that conveyed both affection and understanding, as if she were silently reassuring him that she was right there with him, hanging on his every thought. With Hideki, Sakura listened more than she talked—not because she was naturally an introvert (which she really wasn’t) but because she knew the way to a man’s heart wasn’t a loquacious girl whose words were aplenty but tiresome to the listener. She wanted to give Hideki the impression that all that he said and did mattered a great deal to her and she hoped he could sense her genuine care and love for him.

She wanted to be the perfect partner for Hideki perhaps because deep down she knew she was too average for his calibre. She wanted him to believe and know that he did not make the wrong choice of having her as his girlfriend. But she guessed all her careful treading around her boyfriend proved to be futile. He was her boyfriend , for heaven’s sake. She should be able to loosen up and just be herself whenever she was with him, shouldn’t she? A deeper ache came to the surface; whatever she had done or tried was just… not enough. She was not enough.

Sakura’s phone chimed again. A message notification flashed on the screen—it was another message from Hideki. Sakura unlocked her phone and tapped open the message.

*Are you free now? Wanna talk?*

Talking to Hideki and hearing his voice were two things she used to look forward to ever since he moved five thousand miles across the globe, away from Japan. She would always be the one waiting, for she knew better than to get all clingy and monopolising in a relationship. She had heard enough tragic tales in which love became hate, attraction reduced to complete repulsion, words of affection succeeded by words as venomous as the taipan snake. Hence, she was prudent not to do anything that would jeopardise the harmony of their relationship. She had given all her heart to Kimura Hideki. Perhaps that was why she was so afraid of being let down. The more you invested, the greater the potential loss.

Disdain, resentment, hate—the very lethal ingredients that could corrode one’s heart, devoid it of any kind of love. Had her feelings for Hideki turned to hate? How could it when she had once adored him like a puppy would its owner? That was the flip side of a love story. Horrendous, wasn’t it? Love, it seemed, had a satirical humour that could diminish one’s joy.

Sakura’s phone chimed again. Another message notification from Hideki flashed on the screen. Sighing as though she was tasked with an unavoidable drudgery, she opened the message. It was a GIF image of two bears cuddling, their chubby faces squished against each other. The words ‘I miss you’ bordered at the bottom of the image. Normally, such a picture message would cause a soft, affectionate stir to ripple through her heart, making her smile childishly to herself. But now, all she felt was an iceberg of numbness that no amount of heat could dissolve. Then again, she knew she could not avoid him forever. He needed to know that she knew. There was nothing else to lose.

*Sure. Call me in five.*

After pressing the ‘send’ button, Sakura closed her eyes and breathed deep and intentionally. She willed her heart to be as calm as the gentle breeze that blew through her window, tickling her skin.

Exactly five minutes later, Sakura’s phone rang with the custom ringtone she had set for Hideki. She thought about all the times when she had been so excited to hear that melody, and grew wistful. She took one last deep breath and answered it, “Hey.”

“Hey, what’s my favourite girl doing?”

Favourite? So he was covertly hinting he was seeing other girls and she, Sakura, happened to be his favourite? She swatted that thought away, mentally chastising herself for entertaining such absurdity. But there was a modicum of truth in her mockable imaginations. He was having a clandestine affair with another woman. Sakura felt her insides burn with blistering pain as she tried to focus on their conversation which she knew was not going to be one that would make either party wriggle in delight or culminate in words of endearment.

“Nothing much. I just woke up.”

“I figured. You like to sleep in on your days off.”

Sakura could hear a soft chuckle on the other end of the line.

“I’ve been meaning to call you sooner but you know, I was drowned with trainings and —”

“Seeing other girls?” Sakura cut in, her tone sharp. She could not take it anymore. She had to confront him.

There was a brief pause before Hideki said, sounding bewildered, “What? What do you mean?” The frantic in his voice was undeniable. Sakura could picture his handsome face scrunched up like a piece of crumpled paper.

“Actually, I called you after the cheerleading competition to tell you we won first place—”

“You did? Wait, let me check.”

After a few seconds, Sakura heard Hideki mumble to himself, “That’s strange, I don’t see your name on my list of missed calls.”

“That’s because someone answered on your behalf,” Sakura stated flatly, her voice sounding far away and hollow.

Another silence. This time, the silence was thick with tension.

“Who… answered?”

Sakura could sense the grave apprehension in his velvety voice which used to cause her to shudder with pure pleasure. Right now, it only deepened the emptiness she felt in her core.

“A woman who claimed that Kimura Hideki is someone she loves.” Sakura did not bother to hide her sting of betrayal by the one on the other end of the line. “I’m pretty sure you know her name, seeing how she was at your place while you showered and even answered your phone for you. And she loves you. You should know her name, at least, shouldn’t you?”

Hideki did not speak. But Sakura could hear his raspy breath. It sounded like… he was seething.

“Sakura, look, I—I can explain—” He sounded utterly discombobulated.

But Sakura could not find any trickle of sympathy or compassion in her for him anymore. She was overcome by a fierce, piercing rage which made her go off like a grenade.

“About how much you love her as well? About how you’ve been treating me like a fool all this time? Hideki, whatever you’re gonna say, it’s not going to explain away this woman’s existence in your life. I mean — how could you? The woman loves you, for heaven’s sake! And God knows what you’ve been doing with her behind my back!”

“Sakura, I—”

“No, Hideki. You don’t need to explain anything. Because… I’m done. We’re done.” Sakura’s voice broke at the last word.

“Can I video-call you?” Hideki asked, his tone plaintive and pleading.

“No. Don’t make this any harder for me.” There was a slight tremor in her voice. She needed to end the call. She needed to cry. She needed to scream.

“Sakura, please, let me—”

“Goodbye, Hideki.” With these final words, Sakura ended the call.

Tossing her phone away from her sight, she rolled over onto her bed, completely frazzled, and buried her face into the pillow. She screamed and cried until her lungs were drained of any remaining sound, leaving only silence that filled the void of her soul.

~~~~~~~~~

It was seven minutes to ten. Sakura stood before the vanity as she made the final adjustments to her appearance. She picked up a brush and gently swept its bristles across her eyelids, adding a final hint of eyeshadow that brought out the green of her eyes and (hopefully) reduced the puffiness around her eyelids. She leaned closer to the mirror, squinting slightly as she applied a thin stroke of eyeliner, the motion precise and confident. Sakura had never really been exposed to the world of cosmetics until cheerleading. Her best friend, Daidouji Tomoyo, had given her mini lessons on makeup techniques whenever she had time. From a complete novice who did not know how to differentiate among the different types of makeup brushes and could only visualise the face of a colourfully painted clown’s face whenever she saw the overwhelming array of cosmetic products and tools laid out in front of her, Sakura was now able to deftly embellish her face without looking like she was part of the Halloween cast at the annual Halloween party at the Universal Studios in Osaka.

After applying a thin layer of gloss on her rose-coloured lips, Sakura smacked her them together to even out the coating. She took a step back and checked her reflection—radiant, poised, no hint that she had been bawling her eyes out for hours the previous night. She smoothed out the hem of her white sundress that was adorned with aquamarine floral prints. The dress was a relaxed and loose fit, falling just above her knees. Sakura hoped she was dressed comfortably enough for her outing with the Li son, which brought her to wonder where he was planning to take her. He had not provided any more details other than telling her to ‘dress comfortably’ the previous day.

Grabbing her dusty pink satchel bag and draping it across her shoulder, she made sure she had every essential thing inside it before she left her room. Her phone had been silent since her last conversation with Hideki. So far, he had not attempted to contact her. It wouldn’t make any difference, anyway. Sakura was not the sort who got caught up in what was gone and not meant to be hers. Forward was the only way in life.

After closing her bedroom door behind her, Sakura glanced at her Swarovski chronograph watch. Its rose gold minute hand indicated she was going to be late if she didn’t hurry up. A sudden pang of regretful nostalgia twisted her insides as the sight of the object on her wrist unravelled a distant yet poignant memory in which a sweet, tender Hideki gifted her with a medium-sized velvety pastel pink box just last Christmas. In it sat the watch she was currently wearing on her left wrist—a luxurious rose gold case and pink, iridescent mother-of-pearl dial, with a hundred little sparkling crystals set around its face, and a pink, crocodile-patterned leather strap. It was the most exquisite timepiece Sakura had ever seen or owned. She had cherished it with all her heart and it had become second nature for her to put it on before heading out. Hence, she did not think twice when she strapped the watch around her wrist earlier on. She thought about removing it but she was running late and she didn’t want to appear tardy to the Li son. Shrugging it off as just an inanimate object, Sakura trotted down the carpeted corridor and smiled at every household staff whom she walked past.

When she reached the spiral staircase that led down to the foyer, she spotted Li Syaoran seated on the graphite-coloured armchair, his long trousered legs were slightly apart and his knees were angled outwards. His elbows rested on both his knees as he typed on his smartphone. He was donned in a crisp sage green Oxford button-down, its sleeves rolled to his elbows, and a pair of light-wash straight fit jeans rolled at the hems, ending just above the indoor slippers that covered his feet. His choice of ensemble gave him a relaxed and effortless vibe without losing sophistication. His chestnut-coloured hair was slightly tousled. He looked… really handsome. Sakura didn’t realise she was staring until he caught her eyes which went wide with unadulterated embarrassment. Her face could not be any redder at that moment.

Syaoran got to his feet, one of his hands still clutching his phone. “Good morning,” he greeted in his deep, resonant voice that could make any girl blush.

Sakura did not realise she was gripping the wooden railing with so much strength that her knuckles had turned white. A million thoughts raced through her mind and yet she couldn't think of anything to say. No, at that moment, she had forgotten how to even utter a simple morning greeting. She was that pathetic. Her body had also forgotten how to move—it seemed that every bone and muscle had frozen to the spot. And why was that? Because Li Syaoran, in all his splendour, had greeted her in that delightfully captivating voice of his. This was his power—doing nothing but everything at the same time.

Thankfully, Sakura’s feet remembered how to at least shuffle. She let them dominate her descent to the foyer, where she was supposed to be five minutes ago. Her hand sliding lightly down the wooden railing as she descended the spiral stairs, Sakura felt like she was in one of the scenes in Beauty and the Beast where Belle made her way down the grand staircase towards Beast, except of course, Li Syaoran was the transformed version. As she neared the lower landing, she almost thought he was going to walk up to her, extending a hand like a prince would his princess. That mere thought was so laughable that she nearly tripped over herself. So much for pretending to be a princess. Sakura mentally rolled her eyes at herself.

Syaoran stuffed his phone into his back pocket, his eyes fixated on his companion for the day who was approaching him with such an abashed countenance that he couldn’t help but to feel a heat rising to his neck and his face. With her pink face and the way her honey-coloured hair hung fetchingly round it, he thought she looked absolutely stunning. She seemed to emit a golden glow of light, dimming everything else but the source.

When Sakura approached him with an uncertain smile on her face, Syaoran found himself grinning back like a little boy—only he did so discreetly. In that spellbinding moment, he felt he could uproot his life and give everything up if she had told him to. All he wanted to do was to drink her up, breathe her in. Nothing else mattered. Not even the email he was replying to halfway just a minute ago. He rubbed his hands together and said, “Shall we?”

“May I ask—where are we going?” Sakura asked as she tried to ignore the curious stares from passing maidservants.

Syaoran held out of one of his strong-looking hands, positioning it towards the back of the foyer, and gestured Sakura to follow him. He took a few steps in front of her and led the way to the back of the house. After many morning greetings from the household staff, opulent-looking ornaments and exclusive-looking paintings, Sakura found herself standing at what seemed to be the mansion’s back patio. It was expansive and furnished with wicker chairs. Vibrant flower beds, topiary animals and evocative sculptures dotted the space. Just a few feet away, there was a sleek, circular pool accentuated by waterfalls cascading from tiered stone features, giving off a soothing, tranquil feel. Sakura had not seen this part of the Li compound until now. She wondered how many more impressive hidden spots existed within this monumental estate that the Lis called home.

A buggy rolled up towards them in a rhythmic sort of way. Wait—did she just see a buggy? Weren’t those things only found in golf courses?

“It would be a fifteen- to twenty-minute walk to the helipad. A buggy would help us reach there faster,” Syaoran explained in that refined tone of his, answering her unspoken question.

Just how big the entire compound was if one needed to walk that long to reach another part of it? And did he just say helipad?

“After you.”

Syaoran tilted his head towards the buggy as he offered his hand to her. Sakura took it and instantly, she felt an electrifying jolt course through her entire arm. Why did he always have such an all-consuming but riveting effect on her? Chewing her lip as though trying to put a stop to her distracting thoughts, Sakura wordlessly climbed onto the cute-looking vehicle. Syaoran hopped in after her.

Within five minutes, they reached a secluded, spacious area of the property. They alighted the buggy one after the other and Sakura had to suppress a breath of surprise when she saw what was before her. She was so stunned that she forgot to thank the driver for his service. An aerial fleet was parked neatly side by side on an open area of sprawling, well-manicured land. Sakura turned to look at Syaoran with her mouth agape. “All—all these are yours?” Her eyes darted across the expansive landscape that housed vehicles that were capable of flying in the sky, as if in a daze.

Syaoran, who was typing away on his phone, replied offhandedly, “Yeah, they are shared among our family members.”

“So you and your family don’t really need to go to the airport when you travel abroad?” Sakura asked, her tone was one of unconcealed incredulity. She still could not believe what she was seeing. She thought she would only witness such a scene in Korean dramas.

“Not if we can help it,” came Syaoran’s nonchalant reply.

“I see,” Sakura said, feeling rather inane. “So, erm, we’re gonna take one of these?” She had just earned more points for her vacuous questions and comments.

Syaoran looked up from his phone and answered, “We are taking the helicopter today.” He made it sound so casual that Sakura thought he was merely deciding on whether they should take the train or taxi to wherever they were going.

“Oh, okay. So, can you tell me now where we are headed to? In a helicopter?” Sakura inquired, trying to sound as indifferent as her burgeoning sense of astonishment would allow.

The corners of Syoaran’s lips twitched upwards in a small smile. “Fushigi Island.”

“Oh, I didn’t know there was such an island in Japan.”

“That’s because I bought it just a few months ago and named it as such,” Syaoran answered, shrugging. He might as well be saying he just bought a pet dog and gave it a name.

Sakura thought she could never be any more flabbergasted than she was right then.

Who in the world bought an island?

~~~~~~~~~~

The view from the helicopter was so breathtaking that Sakura had forgotten how to breathe. Her eyes feasted avariciously on the lush landscapes and the shimmering vibrant turquoise surface of the ocean that looked almost like liquid glass with just the faintest ripples from the breeze. There was so much to take in—the vast stretch of the Earth’s hydrosphere glistening splendidly under the sun, the jagged cliffs rising sharply from the shore and the distant hum of the helicopter as it hovered above a world so different from the one below. The scene felt so surreal that Sakura thought it looked like a painting brought to life. She glanced at Syaoran—he was looking out of the aircraft, the wind ruffling his hair. Could anyone get used to such an idyllic panorama of such divine creation? This was something she had never once dreamed of experiencing and for that, she was grateful to him for giving her this once-in-a-lifetime adventure.

Throughout the ride, Syaoran was his usual taciturn self. He didn’t speak a word, seeming to be in a world of his own. Sakura wondered what he might be thinking. Or perhaps he wasn’t thinking about anything in particular but admiring the scene beneath him? The admixture of the constant hum of the rotating blades above, the whirring of mechanical parts and the steady whistling of moving air filled the silence between them. Sakura tried to think of a topic to talk about but she didn’t want to end up prattling or making any asinine remarks like she probably did a few nights ago at The Alley. She decided to let herself be comfortable in just the sounds of nature and machines.

“Sir, we will be descending soon,” the pilot informed.

Syaoran gave a slight nod of his head in acknowledgement.

As the helicopter began its descent, the transition from flight to landing was almost seamless. The landing was nearly imperceptible and well-executed. There was no jarring motion or hard impact; just the lightest bump, as if the pilot had carefully placed the aircraft back on the ground like one would a fragile piece of antique.

“This is by far the smoothest landing I’ve ever experienced,” remarked Sakura as she disembarked from the helicopter with the help of her companion.

“We hire the best,” Syaoran stated plainly.

“Could you fly one of those?” Sakura asked, genuinely curious. For someone who owned a fleet of aircraft, she thought he was probably capable of operating them like how he could drive.

“I do have a Private Pilot Certificate,” Syaoran replied matter-of-factly.

Sakura’s eyes dilated. “You do?”

“You sound surprised.”

“I mean, having a flying license isn’t that mainstream, is it?” Sakura mused. “You’re the first person I know who can fly an aircraft.”

“I’m glad to know,” Syaoran replied, amused.

“Why didn’t you pilot the helicopter yourself, though?” Sakura asked, her inquisitiveness about the future leader of one of the most prominent clans getting the better of her.

“It’s like asking why need a chauffeur when you have driver’s license, isn’t it?” Syaoran wisecracked.

“Right,” Sakura muttered, still trying to acclimate to the grandiose way of life of people like the Lis.

The glare of the mid-morning sun made Sakura squint. She placed a hand above her eyes to help her see more clearly. There was a lot of greenery encircling the helipad. The island she was standing on didn’t look any different from where she had just come from—the sky was the same azure blue, the clouds were the same fluffy white, except… the surrounding air. It was enchantingly crisp, even though it was the peak of summer. It felt as if someone had placed a gigantic air-conditioner over the island, set to an optimal temperature and level of humidity that could make one sigh in pure bliss. Unlike ordinary air that one was accustomed to breathing in, the air here felt lighter, softer, almost weightless. Amazingly, Sakura was quite certain that she could make out a delicate shimmer to the air around her, making it all vivid and mercurial. The cool, light breeze felt like it was gliding with a sense of purpose, wrapping her in an invisible embrace. It was reminiscent of the peculiar sensation she had encountered in his room before.

Then she picked up a scent that was mysteriously transitory, mildly sweet and tenuously floral. There seemed to be a trove of secrets and carefully concealed whispers of words entombed within it, waiting to be discovered by those who would tune out all pandemonium and tune in to the stillness within themselves. Sakura closed her eyes for a little while, just to immerse her entire being in this magical thrall from which she didn’t want to escape. She let its wonderful warmth envelope her, causing her to shudder inwardly at the pleasure of it. She felt every heartache, every disappointment, every hurt melt away. The recent episode with Hideki seemed millions of years ago.

When Sakura blinked open her eyes, she saw Syaoran gazing at her curiously. They were still standing in the middle of the helipad.

“What do you see?”

It was a question that required an answer beyond the physical realm.

“I… see shimmers. It’s like a medley of otherworldly colours. And… there’s a very pleasant scent though I don’t see any flowers around,” Sakura said, “The air here feels… different.”

“Interesting, isn’t it?” Syaoran commented, his eyes locked on her.

“Mmhmm, it is. Actually, when I was in your room the other day, I had a similar feeling as now.”

“Huh, interesting.”

Syaoran unhooked his shades which had been casually clipped at his shirt and put them on. With one hand nestled in his pocket, he began to lead the way to the pickup point where a sleek, metallic grey car was already waiting. Upon seeing his employer, the driver hastily stepped out of the driver’s seat and opened the back door of the car.

“Good morning, Li-sama,” he greeted, bending at the waist in deference. Then, turning to Sakura, he added, “Good morning, Kinomoto-san.”

While Syaoran gave a curt nod, signalling recognition of his driver’s greeting, Sakura accorded him a bright, cheery smile. “Good morning—” Then she turned to Syaoran and said, “He is…”

“Tanaka Daichi.”

“Ah. Good morning, Tanaka-san!” Sakura beamed.

Syaoran watched her smile and thought the bright sunlight that poured over them was incomparable to her entire demeanour of contagious exuberance.

Slightly taken aback by the unprecedented enthusiastic greeting, Tanaka Daichi blushed and gave a deeper bow.

Sakura climbed into the car, followed by Syaoran. Once inside, he reached across her, pulling the seatbelt across her lap. He grasped the buckle, his fingers briefly brushing hers. Sakura stiffened at the momentary contact, her body radiating more heat than what was normal. Slowly, he guided the strap and aligned the metal clip with the buckle’s receiver. His hand lingered for a moment on the strap, adjusting it just enough to make sure it was snug, his expression calm and focused. “All set,” he said, settling back into his own seat and buckling his seatbelt.

Sakura, her face still pink, said softly, “Thank you, Li-kun.”

Once again, it was a quiet but peaceful journey. Though no words were exchanged between them, Sakura didn’t feel at all uneasy or the need to make small talk to fill the gaps of non-existent conversation. She let herself soak in his comforting presence of which she still did not understand how it could make her feel so afraid and safe at the same time.

Sakura’s eyes flickered to him, once again wondering what he was thinking. There was a magnetising effect about him that made her want to stay close, to fill her body, soul and spirit with his intoxicating, calming energy. With him, she found respite. But he was too dashing and too rich and too successful—he could have anything , he could have anyone he wanted. Men like him were good to look at but they were not for keeps. Sakura had learnt it the hard way. And she was not going to stumble and fall twice. It would be pure stupidity.

Sakura steeled her heart with grim resolve not to let anything or anyone break it again. No more letting it gambol about recklessly, as if it could never be maimed. Invincibility in the field of romance was nothing but a chimera. To seek true love in a man like Li Syaoran was just pure fantasy.

~~~~~~~~~

After alighting from the car, Syaoran and Sakura trudged along a wide, cobblestone path that serpentined towards a grand, open-air entrance with soaring columns and a vaulted ceiling. Sakura was so impressed by the infinite blue skies and sprawling rich, verdant landscape that she nearly tripped over a jutting stone on the pathway. Syaoran caught her by the arm in the nick of time and steadied her.

“Be careful. You okay?”

Embarrassed, Sakura mumbled, “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

“The path’s pretty uneven. You need to pay attention to your feet more.” Syaoran tried to hide his smirk but it was still obvious he was quite tickled by his companion’s habitual clumsiness.

“R-right, I will.”

Syaoran’s hand did not leave her arm. Instead, he let it slide down to her hand and held it firmly. Hands interlocked, they continued their walk on the knobbly path. Sakura’s heart rate trebled at his touch. His skin was so delicately warm against hers and it sent a delightful tingle up her spine. For a short, shameless moment, Sakura didn’t want him to let go of her hand.

When they were just a few feet way from the house, Sakura saw how lavish the building was. A butler and two maidservants greeted them at the entrance.

“Good morning, Li-sama, Kinomoto-san,” said the butler whose face was etched with age. He seemed just a few years younger than the Li’s butler, Wang Wei.

“Good morning…” Sakura glanced at Syaoran questioningly.

“Nakamura Benjiro,” Syaoran answered shortly, as he slipped out of his ebony grained calfskin Dior loafers and slipped into a pair of indoor slippers handed out to him by one of the maidservants.

“Nice to meet you, Nakamura-san,” Sakura smiled genially.

“Your sentiments are shared, Kinomoto-san,” Nakamura Benjiro responded with a small bow. “Ling here will take you to your room where you can freshen up before lunch.” He gestured to the dark-haired girl on his right.

“May I take your shoes, Kinomoto-san?” Ling bent over to help Sakura remove her T-strapped chunky block heels.

“Th-thank you,” Sakura said, still not entirely used to such regal treatment. She clumsily stepped into a pair of beige indoor slippers, virtually losing her balance if not for Syaoran’s firm hold on her arm. He snickered covertly at her inherent but endearing maladroitness. How was it that she could leap and somersault and flip effortlessly at cheerleading yet she could not even keep her equilibrium for a few steps beyond the cheerleading arena? He could see her cheeks turn a light shade of pink as she mumbled her thanks.

“I’ll see you at 12:30 at the dining room. The maidservant will bring you there.” Syaoran released Sakura’s arm and shoved his hands in his pants pockets.

“See you later, Li-kun.” Sakura took one last glance at Syaoran who, to her discomfiture, was watching her with a gaze so intense yet so soft. It was quite unnerving because she couldn’t quite figure out what he was thinking when he was looking at her like that. She had never met anyone with such a piercing stare like his. She felt like she was being x-rayed. It made her feel so… bare. Sakura sometimes speculated if he could read minds because he was always looking at her so… comprehensively, like a scientist analysing a specimen. And knowing he possessed magical prowess, she wouldn’t be surprised if it included psychic powers. The thought of it was… rather disconcerting.

“Later,” Syaoran nodded.

He watched as Sakura followed the maidservant named Ling into the left wing of the house.

Then he sensed it—a sweet, flowery scent that carried a hint of mascarpone, lavender and rose. And he saw it—a swirling dust of pink gold glitter that trailed behind her. So soothing, so delicate, so comforting. It was the first time he sensed her aura so vividly. That was what her presence made him feel. It was like a glimpse of heaven. And he wanted to dwell in it all the days of his life.

Li Syaoran was gradually making space in his heart for someone else. Someone who would be the most important person in his life.

~~~~~~~~~

The walls, mostly glass, offered unobstructed views of the shimmering ocean in every direction, and large sliding doors opened directly onto expansive wooden decks and terraces. Sakura spotted Syaoran already seated on one of the wooden chairs at the dining table which was already laden with platters of food. She could feel her stomach rumble with hunger. The spread of food looked so lip-smackingly tantalising.

Syaoran rose from his seat and hastened towards the chair nearest to Sakura. He pulled it out gently with one smooth motion and stepped back slightly, his hand still resting at the back of the chair as he waited for her to take her seat.

“Thank you, Li-kun,” Sakura smiled as she lowered herself gracefully down onto the solid teak chair. She was pleasantly surprised at the airiness of it despite its sturdy, inflexible appearance. Ling, the maidservant, who was tasked to wait on her, placed a pristine white napkin over her lap. Sakura thanked her, her fingers settling tensely over the smooth fabric. She wasn’t sure why she was feeling jittery; perhaps it was the fact that she was pretty much alone with the infamous Casanova (which she remembered Eriol calling him) among the ladies of every class, or perhaps because she didn’t know what to expect. Syaoran had seemed pretty decent thus far, chivalrous even. Then again, she could never really know, could she? He was as readable as Morse code to a layperson.

Sakura peered at the spread of food laid out on the golden-brown wood slab dining table in awe. It was food fit for a king. Opposite her, she watched as Syaoran elegantly picked up his knife and fork and began sawing through the succulent-looking steak. Was it a signal for her to dig in as well? She glanced at Ling inquiringly, who only smiled at her. Just when Sakura was about to cleave her steak with her cutlery, Syaoran reached over and took the plate in front of her, replacing it with another one which contained perfectly cubed red-brown meat.

“Here, eat up. You must be hungry,” he urged, his tone unbelievably warm and inviting. Though his expression remained stoic, his words smiled.

“Thank you,” Sakura breathed gratefully. Her heart brimmed with a tenderness that seemed to overflow, threatening to spill over and envelope the man seated across her. It was a feeling of affection she was trying to evade, but it was now pushing forcefully against the door of her will. Sakura had to remind herself of how she got her heart utterly crushed by a man whom she had trusted with every ounce of her soul. She didn’t want to be any more embittered than she was after knowing Hideki was seeing another woman.

Sakura bit into a piece of the steak that Syaoran had so kindly cut up for her. Her eyes widened and she let out a gasp of pleasure, “It’s so good!”

Syaoran looked up from his plate and said, “Yeah?”

“Yes! It tastes nothing like any steak I’ve ever had in my life!” Sakura exclaimed. “It’s like someone sprinkled a touch of—”

“Magic?” Syaoran smirked.

He placed his cutlery noiselessly down on either side of his plate and gazed intently at Sakura. Those amber eyes. Those fiery, intense amber eyes. How was it that one could appear so detached but so full of passion at the same time? There were so many confounding layers swaddling him like a newborn that were difficult to unpack. It was a phenomenon that would continue to befuddle Sakura for a long time to come.

“Is there really—”

“Look closely.”

Sakura leaned closer to the cubes of steak, scrutinising them carefully. She didn’t find anything anomalous about those pieces of russet-coloured meat.

She looked up and just stared at Syaoran blankly. “There doesn’t seem to be anything exceptional about the steak…”

“What if you tried without really trying?”

“What… do you mean?” Sakura looked at him, confused.

“Sometimes, things happen when you least expect it. Expectations tend to make us uptight. When we are uptight, our senses become dulled. When we are able to expect and release at the same time, we gain the upper hand—we gain control. That’s how magic works. In simpler terms, the more we try to control, dominate, the less control we have. This is your first lesson. You’re welcome.”

What Syaoran just said sounded esoteric to Sakura’s common sense, but in the deep trenches of her soul she could make sense of what he was trying to tell—or more specifically—teach her about magic.

Nodding her head to show she understood what he was saying, Sakura drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes. As she exhaled, she slowly blinked open her eyes and fixed them gently and lightly on her plate. She felt her pulse slow down to an ease and an air of tranquility filled her insides like the cool, spring breeze. There, she caught a glimpse of golden, sparkly flecks dancing around the juicy, plump cubes of meat. It was a mesmerising sight to behold.

“It’s… beautiful,” Sakura whispered. “The chef you hired… he can do magic?”

Syaoran flicked his chin at the butler and maidservant standing nearest to him. “Even they know a thing or two about the arcane art of the supernatural force we call magic.” He popped a piece of steak into his mouth, chewing on it with perfect grace.

Sakura tried to mask her astonishment but the squeak in her voice gave her away. “Everyone here in this house is a Harry Potter?”

Syaoran’s mouth twitched in a half-smile. “You could put it that way.”

“Unbelievable,” Sakura muttered to herself, as she tried to regain her composure.

“Not if you do,” quipped Syaoran.

Then, a shadow of agita and uncharacteristic restlessness eclipsed his typical air of complete ease and confidence. Sakura noticed a slight narrowing of his eyes, his pupils flickering rapidly from side to side. A few times, he would glance up at her and open his mouth as if to say something but would quickly close it. He seemed like he was cudgelling his brains to come up with a decision of some sort.

“A neat place you have here,” Sakura began, trying to fill the silence with an air of conviviality. “Do you come here often?”

“Every once in a while,” Syaoran replied, a tad distractedly.

Sakura didn’t know why she needed to know but she asked anyway, “Do you usually come here alone or—”

As though he could intuit her thoughts, Syaoran quickly answered, “You’re the first girl I’ve brought here.”

He looked at her contemplatively, expectantly.

Sakura bowed her head in an attempt to conceal her flaming cheeks. She didn’t know what to say. All she felt was a sense of… relief? What was she relieved about, really? What did she really want to know?

Wanting. Desire.

No, she wasn’t thinking straight. It must be all the ethereal, mystical energy that surrounded the place. She needed to safeguard herself, her heart. But the next words that came out of his mouth tossed it into a pit of blazing flames.

“I want you, Kinomoto Sakura.”

Li Syaoran may be a quiet, guarded man. But when he had decided on something, he would go all the way, fully and fiercely committed, ignoring any doubt or hesitation or naysayer.

That was his heart speaking. And he believed in it.

Yes, sometimes believing hurts. But there are also times when believing reaps the power to transform dreams into reality. To him, it was a risk worth taking. Kinomoto Sakura was a chance worth embracing. He was not going to let her go because of his juvenile, unfounded fears.

Sakura’s heart was pounding frenziedly in her chest. What was she going to say? What could she say? What did she want to say?

There, was a man who had chosen to walk out of his fears and give his heart away.

Here, was a girl who had caved in to her cynicism about life especially the romance part of it and decided to fence hers in.

Sakura toyed with the loose strands of her auburn locks agitatedly, as she assiduously averted her eyes from the man who had just confessed his feelings for her. He was not just any typical guy; he was one who was as unreachable as the stars above. What did he see in her? She knew she was definitely out of his league. Miles away, to be precise. Sakura’s entire body was suffused with so much tension that she couldn’t find her voice to utter even a single syllable.

Syaoran stood up and walked over to the silent, captivating, sincere, endearingly bumbling girl whom he had been yearning for all this time. He bent over her and cradled her adorably flushed cheeks in his hands. Looking deep into her emerald eyes, he whispered, his voice husky, “Give me a chance. Give us a chance.”

Sakura gazed up at him, her mind reeling in shock. “I—”

Without any warning, Syaoran leaned in and kissed her full on her lips. They were so soft, so sweet. He was relieved that she didn’t resist him. To his delight, he felt her kiss him back, though in a more timid way, uncertain.

Wanting meant the possibility of losing.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way?

It was only a possibility, wasn’t it?

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Text

Chapter 7: Cherish the Chance

Her mind oscillated between longing and trepidation, exhilaration and contrition, hope and doubt.What was happening?

Had she gone insane?

How did she get herself wedged into this emotional imbroglio?

As abruptly as their lips had locked not too long ago, Sakura pulled away, breathing heavily, her mind in a thousand places, her heart racing like a wild child. It shouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake.

But. Was it, truly?

When she felt the press of his lips on hers, her entire body had become as hard and immovable as a boulder-sized rock. She was stunned into complete paralysis. She hadn’t expected it at all; it was downright startling. It wasn’t… right. It wasn’t at all seemly. She had made an irreversible blunder. She was dangerously close to crossing an invisible boundary that she had set to protect her heart. Or… had she already crossed it?

Sakura was afraid—no—she was terrified. She was scared of Li Syaoran, whom she was well aware was someone who held the world in the palm of his hand. Was this whole situation a jaunt on a whim of absurdly affluent men like him? Wasn’t it superfluous to be wasting time on commoners like her? Shouldn’t he be involved with someone who could match up with his aristocratic status? Why her? She was nobody but a jejune native of a small town in the outskirts of Japan. What did he see in her? What did Hideki, the star of every dame, see in her when he was going to end up seeing someone else? What did these men want? A vestige of novel fun for gadabouts like them?

Staring at everything else but the man whose lips had caused her unparalleled jitters, Sakura clutched a fistful of the fabric of her dress and said in a faint, tremulous voice, “It—it was a mistake. I—I’m sorry.”

Not wanting to make her feel any more uncomfortable than she already was, Syaoran took a tentative step back, but his maple brown eyes did not leave her pulchritudinous visage.

“It wasn’t a mistake. Not for me, at least.”

Reticently, Sakura elevated her gaze at him, measuring the candour of his words. His penetrating but gentle eyes were so compelling that they seemed to draw out everything that she wanted to keep buried deep within her, leaving her feeling exposed. But simultaneously, they seemed to fill her with the sense of actually being able to feel and know she could be protected, that her heart could possibly be safe with him. Possibly. A chance.

Give me a chance. Give us a chance.

Sakura’s mind was working feverishly, going back and forth, back and forth, vacillating between her intuition and rationality. She could not deny the sense of inexplicable peace and deep comfort she felt whenever she was in his presence. Granted, Li Syaoran was a formidable figure who was capable of instilling a reverent kind of fear in people. Just one look from him could instantly pulverise any ounce of resistance, just a sound from him could make one’s pulse surge like a river breaking through a dam. Beholding his entire form was catastrophic. She was treading on dangerous waters.

"Why?" Sakura tilted her head to one side, her eyes finally meeting his.

Syaoran raised his eyebrows marginally and leaned backwards so that his sacrum rested against the exquisitely marbled wooden slab that was the dining table. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he said, "There is something about you that just fits, like a puzzle piece I didn't know I was missing."

"What was it that you were missing?" Sakura ventured.

Syaoran's eyes darkened for a brief moment. Then, they softened, though they seemed a little distant. He answered, "Courage."

"Courage?" Sakura repeated, looking mildly puzzled.

"To experience what I feared most," he replied, his tone laced with a tinge of sadness, desolation. Syaoran locked his amber gaze on the woman before her with an intensity that could cut through one's soul, that could make one shiver inwardly, involuntarily.

"What... do you fear?"

Lowering his arms so that his hands rested idly on the surface of the dining table, Syaoran looked away, a heartwrenching forlornness etched on his chiselled face. He tightened his lips, his gaze resting on nothing in particular.

Sakura studied his face, not really sure what she was searching for. What she saw was a loneliness that seemed to be the cause of his gnarled core, which he hid so well with his stoic facade. In that moment of stillness between the two of them, Sakura could hear a desperate plea coming from the latent part of his soul. She had an inkling that there was some sort of yearning that was lodged deep and almost abandoned inside of him, waiting to be unearthed and satiated. Sakura felt herself gravitating towards a forbidden desire to know this perilous, unfathomable, highly coveted man whom she had just shared a kiss with. And he had initiated it. And he was known to be unceremonious and curt towards the women who were interested in him. He had a long line of suitors who wanted to be that one lucky woman to be by his side. But he had decided she was the one whom he wanted. He wanted her to give him—them—a chance. What chance, exactly? It was vague, a request as cryptic as its maker, who was now eyeing her expectantly with his signature piercing stare.

"I must have caught you by surprise with my earlier question. But it wasn't something random. I... gave it a lot of thought before plucking up the courage to bring it up to you," Syaoran confessed. "I want to know what your thoughts are... Sakura."

Sakura.

Oh the way her name sounded coming from his mouth. It was unbearably invigorating and sweet. It wasn't like he was the only one who addressed her by her first name, but the cadence of his voice when her name rolled off his tongue caused her insides to twist with an unfathomable pleasure and bliss. And it wasn't just all that—it made her feel like she was someone whom he was going to treasure and guard with his life. There was a fire in his words, in his eyes, burning with a kind of commitment that she had never seen or felt in anyone, not even Hideki. Could she really believe that he wouldn't let her down, wouldn't disappoint her, wouldn't break her heart? Wait—why was she ruminating over all these senseless possibilities? She didn't fancy him in that way, did she? Yes, he was undoubtedly attractive, a real treat for the eyes. Yes, he was conceivably one of the most eligible bachelors in the whole of Asia. He was the perfect beau every girl could dream of having. But… did she… no. No. It was indecorous; she wasn't supposed to bask in such affection from this man. He was… he was… Li Yelan’s son and she was just the family’s tutor. Furthermore, she had just broken up with her long-time boyfriend. Perhaps she was experiencing an uncanny pull towards Li Syaoran because he happened to be around during moments of her vulnerability. It was nothing. Maybe. What was more, she ought to have learnt her lesson from her recently failed relationship with a similarly highly sought after man, shouldn't she?

Yes, she could not be foolish enough to fall into the same pit again.

“I… I don’t think that’s what you really want, Li-kun. You… you’re… you should be—"

“With someone like you,” Syaoran finished. He edged towards her, so that their mouths were mere inches apart.

Sakura’s lungs seemed to freeze. Her voice was lost in his unwavering closeness. His soothing smell of bergamot was almost unbearably hypnotic. Sakura couldn’t seem to get a hold of her own thoughts—of herself—in his magnetising presence. She seemed to have lost her bearings, not having a clue how she should respond. He was so forthright about his feelings that it stirred her soul, tugging at her heartstrings. Sakura looked at Syaoran hesitantly, measuring his resolve. This moment that she found herself in was a haunting reminder of the time when Hideki had confessed his feelings for her and how she had believed in his sincerity only to be utterly disillusioned in the end.

In the end, everything was nothing but ashes of a broken, incinerated fantasy.

“The food’s getting cold. Let’s eat,” Syaoran remarked, walking over to his seat. It was quite impressive how he managed to steer them away from a potentially awkward situation. Perhaps it was his business acumen being at play.

They ate in silence; the only sound that could be heard in the breezy dining room came from the scraping and clinking of metallic utensils against porcelain plates. No more words were exchanged, only furtive glances at each other in between bites.

Syaoran was the first to finish his food. He reached for the linen napkin resting on his lap and brought it gently to his lips. Then, he lowered it onto the table and watched his companion savour the steak that he had cubed for her. He found himself immersing in a river of still waters—it was a peace he had never felt in a long, long time. And that elusive peace was felt only in her presence and it had the capability to make his soul surrender in spite of himself. There was so much bliss bubbling within him that he felt it oozing out of his skin. Was this what heaven felt like?

“Thank you for the food,” Sakura smiled, her eyes twinkling with satisfaction from the delectable meal she just had.

Syaoran returned her smile. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“It’s the best meal I’ve ever had. Your chefs are amazing. You’re so blessed, Li-kun.”

“I am, I think.” Resting his chin in his hands, he suggested, “Would you like to take a walk outside?”

Sakura’s eyes lit up in excitement. “Yes, I would love too!”

Syaoran rose from his seat and crossed over to her side. He extended his hand and said, “C’mon.” He gave her a smile that could knock out the wind of any member of the female species.

Sakura stared at his hand, a look of hesitance clouding her eyes.

Syaoran didn’t move an inch, his gazed fixed on her as he waited patiently for her to take it.

Slowly, apprehensively, Sakura lifted her arm that felt as stiff as an old man’s back, and rested her faintly quivering hand in Li Syaoran’s.

His fingers encircling her hand, Syaoran gently pulled her up from her seat. His eyes lingered on her for a moment, as though watching out for any adverse reaction to his touch. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to find it repulsive, though her eyes were scrupulously downcast. His hand still clasping hers, Syaoran steered her to the front of the villa, enjoying the softness of her hand in his.  It fitted nicely and perfectly in his own, like it was meant to be there all along. Syaoran smiled inwardly at the thought.

The air outside was thick with a rejuvenating warmth that was not stifling like the typical scorching summer heat— it felt akin to a soft, tranquillising embrace that wrapped around one like a familiar blanket. Tender zephyrs whispered through the trees, bringing with them a transcendent sweet scent of blooming flowers and fresh grass that tickled the olfactory nerve. The air was still but sparkling with vitality at the same time. The rustling of the leaves and swaying branches, coupled with the melodious chirps of birds and the drumming and trilling of insects, created a symphony of sounds that was serenely enchanting.

After trekking down a winding path, Sakura found herself stepping on pristine, white sand. It was so silky that it was almost cloud-like. Could sand really be this dazzlingly white? The sea was a vibrant cobalt with a smooth, opalescent surface that radiated glitters of pearl blue. Was it imaginable for the blue to have such exquisite depth? It was a phenomenal scene of pure wonder.

It was a sight so unadulterated that Sakura could not seem to peel her eyes away from it and her racing heart seemed to have dwindled to a slower rhythm.

Syaoran and Sakura stood shoulder to shoulder, facing the shimmering waters, their hands still entwined in a tender hold. Neither of them spoke as they allowed the quietude of the idyllic landscape to engulf their entire beings.

“This is breathtaking,” Sakura whispered.

“Yeah, it is,” concurred Syaoran.

Arching her neck to gaze at him, Sakura said, “I can see why you bought this island. It’s so… cleansing and nourishing. Just a few hours here and I feel amazingly light on the inside. Did you… enchant it or something?”

Stifling a chuckle, he answered, “No, it doesn't need any enchantments to experience this lightness you said you felt. The dregs of magic from its use on this island lend to the celestial sensation you've been experiencing here. And because you possess magic yourself, you're able to actually see it, smell it, feel it. Though what you experience are only residual effects of spells being cast, it has pretty impressive power."

"Like how it has this restorative energy that I'm feeling now?"

"One among many effects of arcane remnants," replied Syaoran plainly. 

"I see." 

The hush that followed made Sakura acutely cognizant of their interlaced hands. His grip was firm but gentle. His palm was surprisingly warm, seeing how his stares and words could freeze water into ice. Sakura's heart rate started to quicken and she felt blood rushing to her face once again. She knew it was flagrantly inappropriate, but she just couldn't make herself break away from his hold on her. 

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" Syaoran asked, dispelling the silence.

Sakura gave a tiny, uneasy smile. "Honestly, a little," she admitted.

Syaoran let out a genteel laugh. "I like your honesty." 

Sakura looked down at her feet in mild embarrassment.

"Thank you." Seeing her puzzled expression, Syaoran added, "For not letting go."

Sakura seemed to be marinating a thought in her head. Then, she spoke up, "I've only recently broken up with a guy I'd dated for almost four years—"

"Do you still have feelings for him?" 

What Syaoran had actually wanted to ask was if she still loved that guy. Love. He scowled at the very plausible notion that Sakura loved someone else. He wanted to be the only one she loved. 

Love was possessive, exclusive.

Sakura was exclusive. To him—Li Syaoran.

"He... violated my trust. I don't think I can go back to having those old feelings of love for someone who has broken it." 

Love. Syaoran had to fight the urge to roll his eyes in annoyance.

"Yes, it's hard to trust after a betrayal," he affirmed. "But it doesn't mean you should lock yourself away completely because of fear."

Sakura let out a small sigh. "Mmhmm." 

"You shouldn't let one bad experience determine your future."

"I know. But... I'm afraid. Of being trampled. It makes me feel like a fool. And I don’t like feeling like a fool.”

Syaoran squeezed her hand, as though trying to relay an unspoken message to her with his touch, like a silent promise that whatever she feared would not be realised. Ever. As long as she was with him, as long as she was his. "Let me convince you," he said, his burnished copper eyes drilling into hers.

Emerald met amber.

A resolve in those emerald eyes wavered and was slowly flaking off under the unyielding, determined amber glint. 

Let me convince you.

He made it sound so believable that refraining from it almost felt wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday—the day after a jaw-dropping, eye-opening experience with Li Syaoran on an ethereal island that he legitimately owned. It still felt surreal. She had never known anyone who actually owned an island. A real, physical island! Not only that, his heartfelt declaration of his desire to make her his still seemed too... fictitious for her to properly process. Every moment, every spoken word, on that incredibly enchanted island, felt straight out of a fairytale.

Sakura's smartphone chimed. She swiped across the screen and saw his name—Li Syaoran.

So it had all been real. All that had transpired on Fushiji Island.

She read his text.

What are you doing today? I was thinking we can head out for lunch. Or brunch? :)

Sakura let out a small giggle at the smiley face. It just… didn't suit his... style. Smiling, Sakura typed her reply.

Sure, would love to. My treat, ok. To thank you for an amazing day yesterday. :)

Shortly after she tapped the "send" button, his reply came in.

Gentlemen don't let ladies foot the bill. Don't worry about it. 

Ah such male ego :p 

Meet at 11 at the foyer? 

Ok. See you in a bit. 

Sakura couldn't believe he was just a level up from her room. They were so close. Sort of. The notion of it gave her the chills and filled her with a warmth that made her insides squirm delightfully all at the same time. 

A sudden strangling sensation gripped her—how could she get involved with another man so quickly after breaking up with Hideki? And it was done over the phone and she didn't even give him a chance to explain his side of the story. It felt like she was going against some kind of invisible decorum of romance. She felt a tinge of guilt gnawing at her conscience—could she just forget all that she and her first real boyfriend had? 

Of course she could. He was the one who dishonoured what they had between them, seeing another woman behind her back. Why, though? Had Sakura not done enough this whole time? Was it the physical distance that had estranged them from each other? Was she… not enough for him… after all? 

Could Sakura, then, be enough for the rising leader of one of the greatest clans in Asia when she was very likely not so for her basketball star former boyfriend?

Let me convince you.

But maybe… just maybe… she could. Deep, deep within her, she felt she could really, really believe Syaoran’s words. And his heart.

Maybe.

~~~~~~~~~~

She was a gem. A rare one. She sparkled in her own simplicity, imbued with a natural, understated beauty that just got more resplendent every time Syaoran looked at her. She didn't just have a beautiful face, she also had a beautiful soul that would leave those in her stride charmed and helpless. She was perfect. For him.

He beamed as he watched her descend the pristine spiral stairs—she was clad in a pair of khaki jogger pants that ended a few inches above her ankles, and a braided strap print top that revealed her collarbones and shoulders so gracefully. Her face was just slightly embellished with makeup, but that little bit of powder, eyeliner, blusher, accentuated her girlish allure that would put supermodels off the runway. Okay, he might be exaggerating a little, but to him, she was stunning beyond Hollywood glamour.

Ever the gentleman that he was raised to be, Syaoran presented his hand to her. He tried to hide his amusement when he saw her cheeks tinge pink and felt her tense up, though it would be barely perceptible to all except him who was exceptionally sharp when it came to the senses.

Syaoran beamed even brighter when Sakura gently placed her hand in his.

"All set?"

Sakura smiled. "Yes."

~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday. What better day to have brunch? Sundays just have that perfect brunch vibe, haven't they? The buzz that resonated through a busy cafe filled with Sunday morning people, the aroma of coffee that infused very corner with its rejuvenating rich scent, the smell of buttery pastries awakening and tickling the otherwise unenthusiastic taste buds that had probably been aroused reluctantly after eight hours of dormancy.

Except the place where Sakura found herself in wasn't the typical, bustling cafe that she was used to. She was standing thirty-nine floors above the lobby of a five-star hotel in the heart of Tokyo, her eyes trying not to dilate too much at the most elegant view they had ever been graced with. Although she was only at the entrance of The Jade Chamber, waiting to be seated, she could already sense the upscale vibes seeping into her pores. She tried her utmost best to keep her mouth from dropping as she scanned what lay beyond the exclusively exquisite entrance of the Chamber.

Vast windows cascaded from the ceiling to the floor, providing an expansive view of the iconic Mount Fuji on the horizon. The Jade Chamber was furnished with a space of modern luxury, sophisticated interior with a vibrant colour palette of orange and gold that gave it a warm, welcoming glow.

"Reservation under Li Syaoran," Syaoran stated in his rich, velvety voice that made the waitress blush out of her own volition.

Scrolling through the tablet that rested on the stand, in a manner that appeared more flustered than what was normal, the waitress finally looked up. When her eyes focused on Syaoran, her face turned a deeper shade of pink. Her shoulders visibly stiffened as she tried to speak as collectedly as her thumping heart would allow. "I—I see your reservation under your name. This way, please."

Syaoran turned to Sakura and with a smile, he mouthed, "After you."

With Sakura in front of him following the waitress to their table, Syaoran’s eyes lingered on her slender back and her bob of caramel tresses. He had seen, been with and mentally screened numerous women, but none had him so drawn and mesmerised like this one right there. Did she know she had the strength of a neodymium magnet? How did she come to possess such immense power to make him, who had such strong, immovable resolve, this helpless and vulnerable in her presence? He was so hopelessly... in love? Love? Had he fallen in love with Kinomoto Sakura? He wanted her, yes. But love? It was an untamed beast, an uncharted territory... It was unnerving. There were still dregs of fear buried deep within him despite finding himself completely lost in her gravity and wanting more.

"Here's your table," the waitress announced meekly, as she cast bashful glances at Syaoran, apparently dazzled by his dashing appearance.

Syaoran walked over to one of the chairs and pulled it out for Sakura. She sat down, flashing him a grateful smile.

"My name is Aiko," the waitress introduced. "I will be serving you today. Please let me know when you're ready to order." With a bow, she left, giving the two Chamber's guests privacy while they perused the leather-bound menu.

"She's lovely, isn't she?" Sakura commented, in a half-whisper.

Flipping open the menu, Syaoran answered offhandedly, "It's part of their training."

Sakura nodded and mimicked him. Her eyes bulged as they flicked over the prices listed on the menu. She had intended to treat him to this meal despite what he had texted earlier on, but if she did in this premium, out-of-Sakura's-world restaurant, she could perhaps only afford the house salad which still cost pretty much an arm and a leg.

As though he had somehow grasped her unspoken thoughts, Syaoran said, his eyes still scanning the menu's contents, "What would you like? It's on me, like I said before."

"But—" Sakura protested but Syaoran cut her short.

"Don't fret over it. Order what you like." He gave her a reassuring smile in an attempt to put her at ease.

"Fine," Sakura conceded. "I'll let myself leech on you just one more time. The next one will be on me."

"So... there will be a next time?" Syaoran's amber eyes glinted mischievously, yet there was a trace of expectancy in his tone.

Sakura gave a noncomittal shrug and continued to peruse the weighty menu before her, her lips curling playfully like a scapegrace.

"I look forward to our next time," Syaoran intoned, a sly smirk crawling up his face.

After placing their orders (Sakura decided on a quinoa grain bowl, while Syaoran went with Quiche Lorraine, as well as the Chamber's signature Jade latte at his insistence.), Sakura began, "Thanks, Li-kun. Though you really didn't have to."

"I thought we are past last name basis?" Syaoran's well-kempt eyebrows were raised, his arms folded in front of his broad, sculpted chest.

Sakura hesitated, "Erm, well, I... I guess it's not very appropriate, knowing that you're my boss's son..."

"So I'm just Li Yelan-san's son to you?" He purposely added the honorific at the end of his esteemed mother's name in an attempt to spark a banter.

"Well... that's a fact... isn't it?"

Syaoran chortled and admitted, "You're not wrong. But... it would mean a lot to me if you called me by my first name, Sakura."

That same electrifying jolt from the first time he articulated her name shot through her spine. Sakura. No one could say her name in the way he did. It was... one of a kind, distinctive. It made her feel like she was his everything. Everything.

Sakura looked out of the window, taking in the magnificent panorama before her. "You know, you never fail to astound me with your choice of venue. Thus far."

"I don't see why I should," replied Syaoran with a slight, dismissive shrug. Then he added, "Just so you know—"

"Li-san?" It was the voice of a lady, soft and smooth, capable of melting hearts. But it didn’t seem capable of working its charm on the guarded, saturnine man before her.

Syaoran lifted his head and glanced at her, his visage stoic and somewhat... cold. The warmth in his chestnut eyes that had graced Sakura just a few seconds ago evaporated into just a glacial, hard stare.

"How... have you been?" she ventured, her fingers clutching her designer purse as if for dear life. Then, her eyes landed on Sakura. "I see your mother has got you a new date," she stated, her tone frosty and balefully pointed.

Syaoran's jaw tightened visibly. "Sakura's more than that." His voice sounded far away and hollow, despite the veracity of those. He didn’t want to reveal more than what was necessary to someone whom he had no business with.

The woman became rigid at his mention of his companion's name with such gentleness and protective demeanour. She cast a contemptuous look at Sakura whose eyes had been glued to her lap throughout the unexpected, awkward exchange between the sophisticated-looking woman and Syaoran. She pretended to be heavily occupied with her unadorned fingernails. She didn't dare to look up, lest she get burned by the intensity of the stranger's menacing stare.

Steeling herself so as to perhaps preserve her pride, the woman said, "Have a lovely day, Li-san." With a final bow, she stalked away, her heels striking the floor with sharp taps.

"Hey," Syaoran began, his body loosening up from all the tension that had built up earlier on. He reached across the table for her hand. She didn't flinch or recoil. It was a relief.

Sakura gazed up at him, a troubled look etched on her radiant face. "I hope I didn't jeopardise anything..."

Syaoran tightened his grip on her hand. "There's nothing to jeopardise. She was merely one of the women my mother set me up with. There was nothing between us."

"She sounded... never mind." Sakura shook her head and allowed a bright smile to plaster across her face. "It's your loss to reject such a spectacular woman, Syaoran-kun," she teased. "It's a wonder how a curmudgeon like you could charm so many women."

Syaoran's eyes widened in mock stupefaction. "Excuse me? A curmudgeon?"

Sakura giggled, inviting a kaleidoscope of butterflies to flutter about in his stomach. How he enjoyed listening to the jingle of her laugh and how it balled him into a bundle of nerves at the same time. It was a sound he wanted to live listening to for the rest of his life. And she had called him by his first name, the syllables escaping her tongue so naturally like the rising sun.

"No offence, but you do carry the vibe of Ebenezer Scrooge with your grouchy face." Sakura scrunched up her face to imitate Syaoran's unsmiling, austere expression.

Syaoran chuckled, shaking his head in feigned disapproval. "Only you would have the audacity to talk to me like that."

A moment of silence hung between them as the jesting interlude dissipated. Suddenly conscious of her hand in Syaoran’s, Sakura gently pulled away and let her eyes survey the vista of the bustling city through the window, her chin resting in her hands. “The view of Tokyo from up here is incredible.”

Peering out of the window as well, Syaoran agreed, “It is.”

Sakura turned to focus her gaze on the elegantly striking man seated across her. He was the pinnacle of refinement, which made her question again and again if they would ever be compatible with each other. Tilting her head slightly to the right, she said, sounding a little unsure, “Remember what you said earlier— that I… I was—”

“More than the women whom my mother tried to fix me up with,” Syaoran confirmed, “And yes, I mean it.”

Sakura regarded him thoughtfully, as if trying to pick out any trace of hypocrisy in his words. She wanted to believe him. Very much. The thought of it threw her into a pool of further questions—had she developed feelings for this man whom she knew was out of her league? Could she even? If she gave her heart to him, how certain was she that he would really take good care of it? How sincere were his words of confession? Were they really not just spoken on impulse, to get what they wanted so that they could satisfy their male ego?

The following words that came out from him set her heart ablaze with an exhilaration that she had never experienced before. It was like she had, without realising, been waiting for this moment her whole life. It was like a missing puzzle piece that she had been searching for all along, just like what Syaoran had told her when they were on his island about twenty-four hours ago.

“I think… I’ve fallen for you, Sakura.” Syaoran shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It was so out of character that it made Sakura lift her eyebrows in pure amusement. “I’m quite certain—no—I’m certain that you are the one for me.”

His face was as red as a tomato, like a boy making an earthshaking confession to his first crush. The sight of him, of Li Syaoran, the indomitable, notoriously daunting figure blushing, was so adorable that Sakura had to strive with all her might to repress the urge to laugh despite the seriousness of the conversation.

Pursing her lips in a valiant effort to stop herself from bursting into laughter, Sakura said, “You think?” Still, she could not help but to rib him just a teensy little.

Mildly flustered, Syaoran scrambled for the right words to say. His uncoordinated mannerisms made him look like he was stuck in a quagmire. And Sakura played a huge role in it.

Another out-of-character moment. Li Syaoran, perturbed, confounded.

Sakura pressed her lips harder, making sure she remained as soundless as possible.

“I mean—it’s not that I’m not sure about my feelings for you. It’s just that, this is all new to me. I know it sounds incredulous, but I… I’d never felt this way with anyone else. You’re the first,” Syaoran babbled, his already flaming cheeks turning a shade darker with each utterance.

Sakura’s face softened at his candidness. He might be a highly influential figure in his own realm, but he was still human, a human capable of feeling. They might come from starkly different worlds, but they were still flesh and blood. No human was infallible.

"Thank you, Syaoran-kun, for being vulnerable with me. I know it's not easy for you and I must say... I'm moved by you—your feelings for-for me." Clutching her glass of water more firmly, Sakura continued, "I don't know if I could ever match up to you, your status and all, but I will do what I can to make things work."

There, she'd said it. She was done suppressing her heart because of a past hurt that wasn't even her fault. She had wanted her and Hideki to have a happily ever after but the desire was unfortunately not reciprocated. Could she and Syaoran have their happily ever after, then? Sakura did not know what the future held for them, but one thing that her instincts told her was that this modern aristocrat who had an astounding ability to conjure something out of nothing was a decent, wholehearted, possibly the most devoted man any woman could ask for.

Syaoran was indeed infamous among the women in his league, known to discard his dates mercilessly—according to Tomoyo’s insider sources. To the fairer sex of his calibre, Li Syaoran was elusive, out of reach, but immensely desirable all at once. It was perplexing, really. It was a labyrinthine concept among those high-born women which Sakura would never be able to grasp.

To her, he was simply a hurting, lonely boy who was forced to mature beyond his years, forced to take on a role that he was very possibly not ready for. He seemed to be bound by so many layers that the light in him was snuffed out, leaving behind a cold and blustery soul.

Right then, she knew what had pulled her to him, albeit short of her own awareness. If she had met him first, perhaps in university or even in elementary school, she was fairly certain she would fall under his spell of doing nothing but everything. That was his unique charm, which probably caused women aplenty to fall head over heels with him. Sakura, being a warm-blooded woman herself, was not immune to it. Admittedly, the pull factor for her was nothing noble but superficial. Who wouldn’t be enthralled by someone like him? More than that, she would see him for who he truly was and she was certain she would fall for him as she got to know him, like how he fell for her in the present moment. He might appear arrogant, unapproachable, distant—but Sakura felt innately that he held so many glowing, endearing qualities that she could not help but to draw herself deeper into his world. The desire to embed herself further into his life had been growing stronger each day, ever since she had unintentionally stumbled upon his private space where she caught a glimpse of the Syaoran that was so different from the version that he displayed to everyone else.

“There is no status, or anything for that matter, to match up to,” he said, his eyes torrid with unspoken, repressed emotions that yearned to be released. Rising from his chair, Syaoran crossed over to Sakura’s side and crouched down beside her. Gazing into the depths of her emerald eyes, he went on, “You only need to be just the way you are. I don’t need you to be anybody else, Sakura.” Gently, he cupped both her hands in his. To his bafflement, he felt the quiet trail of warm tears falling onto his skin. He looked up at her, his eyes reflecting a panic that was even bizarre to him. “Are you—are you okay?” Syaoran quickly reached up and brushed those saline beads away with his thumb. Seeing Sakura cry had officially become a source of his consternation.

Sniffling back those unexpected deluge of emotions, Sakura apologised, her voice a little shaky, “I-I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” Inhaling deeply, she continued, “It’s just… what you just said is probably something I’d always wanted to hear. Thank you.”

Syaoran sighed in relief, then he smiled. “Show me your true colours, Kinomoto Sakura.”

At that, Sakura laughed. Then, a visage of solemnity crossed her face. Looking him unflinchingly in his eyes, she said, “Show me yours too, Li Syaoran.”

True love does not lie, neither does it hide.

True love exists between two individuals who are willing to bare their souls and in doing so, accept each other unconditionally.

True love does not judge.

True love always embraces.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the meager number of dates that Wang Zhenni and Li Syaoran had, Zhenni had never seen him smile so brightly like how he did with that Japanese girl. He looked almost... goofy, a complete contrast to his usual surly, disengaged demeanour during their supposed dates. He was always quiet, cooped up in his own world, only spoke when a question was directed at him. She knew he was only trying to be polite and be the honourable son to his noble mother when he turned up for their dates. If he had even attempted to conceal his reluctance to show up, it was a shoddy job done on his part.

Wang Zhenni expelled an air of disgrace as she recalled how ruthlessly he had discarded her like a piece of abhorrent trash that nightmarish evening. Sure, she might be overdramatizing the distasteful scene in her head over and over again but it was such a traumatising experience for her that she spiralled into a bout of depression which she was still battling with even now. Wang Zhenni was used to being mollycoddled. Hence, the situation with Li Xiao Lang was not something she could easily accept.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Wang Shiren asked, his brows furrowed in deep concern for his daughter. "You seem troubled."

Zhenni nodded her head towards her ex-date and his companion. "I bumped into Li Xiao Lang just now. He has a new date. A Japanese."

Wang Shiren followed his daughter's gaze and his eyes widened slightly. Then, he turned towards Zhenni, apparently unperturbed. "Fret not, sweetheart. There is no need to be too troubled. It won't last."

Zhenni narrowed her eyes, unconvinced. "How do you know, Daddy? I've never seen him behave so... freely before. Surely she must be someone really special to him. He said so himself."

Shiren arched his eyebrows, the motion as indistinct as his calm resolve would give room for. "Oh? What did he say?"

"He said she was someone more than all the dates his mother had arranged for him. He seemed really serious about her." Zhenni folded her arms across her chest and let the brief but disturbing exchange that took place a few minutes ago continue to linger in her mind.

"Pay no heed," Shiren answered, waving his hand dismissively. "Li Xiao Lang will come to realise my precious, all-rounder daughter is the right one for him."

Zhenni slumped back against her chair, her arms still stubbornly pinned across her front, as though determined to find a flaw in her father's words. "How, Daddy? You and I, and even the entire world know how obstinate he can be."

To his daughter’s doubts, Shiren only smiled, a tad too serenely. "Have I ever disappointed you, my dear daughter?"

That was a rhetorical question that had stood its ground since time immemorial. Wang Zhenni's highly resourceful, highly influential, highly respected father had never once let her down. And she was convinced he would not this time either.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Uncle!” Two clamorous, excited voices tore through the weeklong silence, reverberating in the air, shaking its molecules out of their idleness. Haitang and Haitian, the ever exuberant pair of siblings gambolled towards their favourite uncle like two joyful lambs in spring.

Syaoran scooped up the tinier of the two, Haitian, into his arms and ruffled Haitang's bedhead. "Enjoyed your trip?"

"Yes!" the siblings replied in unison.

"But we missed you and Kinomoto-sensei!" Haitian exclaimed, flashing a toothy smile as he spotted his favourite tutor just a step behind Syaoran.

"Yeah, we wished you and Kinomoto-sensei could go with us!" Haitang echoed, as she grabbed hold of Sakura's hand.

"Welcome home, you two," Sakura greeted, grinning broadly. Noticing Li Yelan and Li Fuutie emerging from the family's Mercedes-Benz Maybach limousine, Sakura stood a little taller as she trimmed her grin to a more demure lift of her pink glossed lips.

"How have you been, Sakura-san?" Yelan inquired warmly as she handed her luggage and bags to one of the attending maidservants.

Sakura gave a small bow and replied, "I've been well, Li-san. How was your trip?"

"It was... refreshing. Nice. A much needed break." Yelan turned to her son and gave him a once-over. "You seem... different. Did you finally put your sister's Christmas present to good use?"

Syaoran's face flushed with a colour as red as the beetroot. "You know I'm not into facials. I still think it's a waste of money," he answered, sounding a little too defensive.

Yelan's face lifted in unrestrained amusement. "Well, then, I must say you look rather radiant."

"What have you been up to, huh, little brother?" Fuutie teased. Another maidservant took over her bags. Flipping her lustrous hair to the back, she added, "I agree with Mother. You are practically glowing."

"I-I think I don't look any different," Syaoran disagreed, his face getting hot like an incendiary set alight.

"Uncle," Haitang piped up, "Your face is as red as a baboon’s butt."

"Let's head in. You wouldn't want to get to catch a cold," Syaoran blurted out, regretting as soon as those fatuous words spilled out of his mouth. He cursed at himself inwardly for his idiocy and spun around, making his way to the house as quickly as the weight of Haitian in his arms could take him.

“It’s July, Xiao Lang,” Fuutie commented, running after her younger brother, wanting to pry whatever he was trying to hide out of him. “Wait! I’m not done asking yet!” she called after Syaoran as he sped off like a bullet train.

Yelan took in the brouhaha with an oddly pleased look on her perfectly contoured face. She cast a sideways glance at the girl whom she had developed some sort of affection for ever since she laid eyes on her during the interview. If there was anyone whom she wanted her only son to spend the rest of his life with, she hoped it would be Sakura—the girl who held the key to his heart.

~~~~~~~~~~

The mysterious but fascinating bell tinkled, spewing out a ripple of gleaming pink. It had turned a brilliant shade of tea rose. Sakura observed it with interest and wondered if the others had noticed the bell’s enchanting transformation. But they seemed oblivious as they piled into the mansion.

She must have stood there for quite some time, entranced by the magic of it, because she didn’t notice Syaoran occupying the space next to her.

“Pink, huh,” he started, glancing up at the metallic mystery.

Sakura jumped, startled by the unexpected presence of someone else just next to her. “Oh, Syaoran-kun. You scared me.”

“You seemed lost in thought,” Syaoran remarked.

“Where’s Haitian?”

“With my sister. He wanted to open all the souvenirs he bought in Hong Kong.” Syaoran raised both hands, fingers forming air quotes around the word ‘bought’.

Sakura giggled. “He’s so cute.”

“Like his uncle,” Syaoran unabashedly injected, tucking his hands into the pockets of his beige-coloured chino bermuda shorts.

Sakura punched him playfully in his shoulder and said, “Ugh, so narcissistic.”

Syaoran shrugged. “I can’t help it. It’s a fact.”

“What—being narcissistic and full of yourself?” Sakura jested, an eyebrow raised.

“Well, self-admiration cannot be helped if one is indisputably cute,” quipped Syaoran. “C’mon, you gotta admit to that. If not, why would you want to make things work between us?”

This time, Sakura slapped him hard on his right scapula, her face contorted into a playful glower. Syaoran did not flinch, his frame still steady and unyielding. Perhaps the countless hours of training he had accumulated over the years had enabled him to acclimate to so gargantuan a force that the slap on his shoulder blade by someone as harmless as Sakura was like a mild nip on the finger. He simply watched her with rapt attention, his lips lifting up into a small smile.

Sakura stayed still under his scrutiny. “What?” She frowned, arms crossed in front of her.

“Nothing,” Syaoran answered. His gaze was still fixated on her, unwavering.

“You’re looking at me funny,” Sakura commented.

Syaoran shook his head and let out a chuckle. “Sorry, I don’t mean to stare. I was just… recalling what you said yesterday, about wanting to make things work. Between us.”

A faint blush of tea rose coloured Sakura’s cheeks as she, too, remembered what she had said at The Jade Chamber the previous day. How could she forget? It marked a pivotal turn in whatever they had between them. But to hear it from Syaoran at that moment sent a rush through her chest. It was not a fabrication of her mind. It was as real as their breaths, constant and undeniable.

“The bell knows,” Syaoran stated as he looked up at the subject of his statement.

Sakura gave him a quizzical look. “What does it know?”

“It knows that something’s changed.” Gazing deeply into her eyes, Syaoran went on, “And you are the source. It’s a change to be celebrated.”

He leaned closer and Sakura caught the familiar scent of bergamot.

Their lips met.

Time seemed to have slowed, giving them the space to linger and savour the moment. It wasn’t just a physical contact that sent waves of electricity through their nerves. It was a kiss that spoke volumes without words, full of tenderness and unspoken longing, leaving them wanting more.

Finally, reluctantly, they pulled away from each other, catching their breaths. Syaoran’s arms were still encircled around Sakura’s waist while her hands remained lightly pressed on his chest. Neither wanted to part any further than the distance between their faces.

Eyeing each other with a newfound affection, and even some apprehension, they broke into a smile that spelled bliss all over their faces.

Syaoran was the first one to break the silence. “Let’s make this work.” He pressed his forehead gently onto Sakura’s, not wanting to move an inch.

“Let’s make this work,” Sakura echoed, nestling into his warm, protective chest.

~~~~~~~~~~

SummerSensations: Thank you for your patience while waiting for this chapter to be posted! <3

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Chapter 12: Have Faith

“Okaa-san! Look what Hide-kun got!” 

Shifting her eyes from the pot of steaming miso soup she was stirring to the little cinnamon-haired boy who was grinning from ear to ear up at her, Sakura crooned, “Ohhh… what’s he got this time for little Nobu-chan?”

“A fire engine LEGO set!” Kinomoto Nobuye exclaimed excitedly, raising the yellow box of bricks as high in the air as his little arms could go. 

Sakura turned and voiced over her shoulder, “You’re spoiling him, Hideki-kun.”

Hideki hung his coat on the standing coat rack next to the entrance, and offered, “Let’s think of it as his reward for working hard at school this past week.”

Sighing but smiling, Sakura turned to her five-year-old son. “Make sure you finish the pages I’ve marked out for you first.”

“Hai, okaa-san!” Nobuye responded obediently, flashing his mother a toothy smile. 

“And at home,” Hideki added, smirking. 

Sakura pursed her lips and shook her head as she watched Nobuye sprint into his room. “Make sure you learn your spelling for your Chinese class tomorrow - I’m going to quiz you after dinner!”

“Hai, okaa-san!” 

A thin smile of resignation crossed her lips as she returned her attention to the pot of miso soup that was now bubbling away quietly on the stove. 

Hunching over the island with his arms resting on the marble surface, Hideki’s eyes glided over the back of his friend and neighbour, which had been a comfortingly familiar sight to him for the last five years. “How’s your day been?”

Sakura took a sip of the soup and nodded, pleased. Then, she shifted her attention to the tall basketball star with persistently dishevelled bronze tresses, and remarked, “You really need a haircut, Hideki-kun.”

Hideki chortled. “So your day’s been about finding the perfect time to tell me I need a haircut?”

Sakura’s eyes flicked upwards, clearly unimpressed by his attempt at humour. “ Seriously .” Wiping her hands on the peach pink floral apron Hideki had gifted her from his recent trip to Tokyo where he and his team competed in the National Finals (and clinched the championship), Sakura went on, “The day’s been good. Business was satisfactory when I left for the day. Let’s see… hmm… the customers really liked the newly rolled out flavour for Christmas, and I just spoke with Tomoyo-chan - she’s coming to visit a week before the holidays. And…”

Hideki lowered himself onto the stool, his chin propped in his hands as he listened to her recount the events of her day. To her, it might be merely a cog in the wheel. To him, every tooth, every gear, every bolt of the conversation was as significant as the speaker herself. For the last five years, it had always been this way, save for the initial months when she was all knotted up and far away in her own thoughts and grief… and hormones.

For the last five years, he listened more than he talked. He liked to listen to her talk about her day, every detail of it. Her voice, her sweet, lulling voice - it was what compelled him to listen, just listen, rather than talk, because talking would rob him of the chance to listen to her soothing, honeyed voice more. Who knew how much longer he could have that?

For the last five years, he listened to her talk about nothing and everything, grateful to just be there - with her. Not once, not even a flicker of time, did Hideki regret uprooting his glorious life as a professional basketball player and choosing to stay in a small, quiet town, away from the bustling city of Japan, with her. In those five years, he had never felt more alive and accomplished than he ever did in his entire life. Staying with her and Nobuye was the best choice he had ever made. 

And in those five, pulsating years, he had unknowingly let Sakura and the new phase of his life sculpt his heart - moulding, and spinning, and moulding into one that had grown so attached to the simplicity of it all. Basketball was once the heart of his life. Now, it had taken a backseat as he ushered in a new purpose - to protect and provide for the two reigning royals who now ruled his heart. 

His life - now revolved around Kinomoto Sakura and Kinomoto Nobuye. And that was all he wanted - nothing more, nothing less. 

Granted, there were a host of reasons why he should not stay, but there were just as many reasons why he should. Even if most of them were nothing but specious, one truth stood out - he loved her. And that was reason enough to stay. 

“Hideki-kun?” 

Hideki hadn’t realised his thoughts had meandered from the present. Shaking free from the web of his mind, he cracked a smile. “Yeah?”

Sakura’s beautiful green eyes narrowed into disapproving slits - something he had grown fond of in the last five years. In those short four years when they dated, he didn’t remember her being upset with him nor did he recall ever tasting her wrath. All his dating friends envied him, saying he was one lucky guy to have such a docile, patient girlfriend. There were times when he did wonder if she was hiding things from him or if she simply stowed away any uncomfortable feelings so that she would not be a burden to him. But it didn’t matter anymore, because the present Sakura was not afraid of showing her emotions - good or bad. Perhaps becoming a mum made her bolder, less encumbered by how she was perceived, driven only by her maternal instincts to protect her child, to grow him, to groom him. 

For the first time in his life - his life that involved Kinomoto Sakura - he got a sip of her sass. It was during her pregnancy. She had been a ball of prickles, petulant and hard to please. The usually sprightly girl whom he knew years back was devoured by the microscopic ball of cells inside her womb, siphoning every ounce of her energy and transforming her into an inferno. In spite of it all, Hideki stayed. He attended to her every need, every craving, every aversion, every outburst. He didn’t leave. He stayed. 

He stayed. Just like how he knew he would if he hadn’t vanished without a trace. And just like how his sister pleaded with him to. And just like how his heart wanted to. 

His heart, his soul, him - loved every part of her, even all the episodes of her stubborn insistence on not eating her dinner if it wasn’t what she was craving for. 

In spite of his outsized ego shaped by his jock mentality, Hideki knew he did too, that he loved every part of her, loved her enough to stay, to stay through it all. The good and the bad. If he had been here.

“I was saying ,” Sakura reiterated patiently, “are you staying for dinner?”

Without a second thought, Hideki replied, “Of course, as usual. I wouldn’t pass on a free meal.” 

Sakura smiled. “Of course, you wouldn’t.”

Hideki smiled back. God, she was beautiful. 

What makes you so sure?

Intuition.

Acting on intuition calls for total faith, total surrender. Hideki didn’t know how things would pan out. But he hoped, he prayed, that it was all for the best, for everyone’s sake.

“He's asleep?” 

“Yeah, just after I kissed him good night,” Sakura whispered, gently closing the door behind her. 

“Always an easy sleeper. A blessing, if you ask me,” Hideki remarked, carrying the box of toys to be stored away for the night. 

“Yeah, it is,” Sakura agreed as she padded across the living room to the kitchen. It was sparkling clean. Like always. “Hideki-kun.”

“Hmm?” came his muffled voice from the storeroom.

“Thank you. As always.” 

Drawing the door closed, Hideki answered with a smile, “You're welcome, as always.” 

Sakura studied him for a moment, studying this man whom she had once loved and then hated, and wondered how the situation between them had morphed into one that no longer held any vestige of resentment but one that was filled with mounds and mounds of gratitude and familial comforts. Over the years of their fledgling friendship, Sakura allowed herself to lean into that warmth Hideki so generously offered. She accepted his help, his companionship, his support. She was thankful for his friendship through the most trying time of her life. Still. 

Still, nothing, no one , could ever replace the brittle sense of loss she had been carrying since the day she left the Li mansion. Since the moment she was told he was gone. 

Have faith, she was told.

Over those five years shadowed by loss but brightened by small mercies, Sakura kept holding on - even if what she was hanging on to was just a thin thread of hope. There was not a day that went by when his face did not flash across her mind, twisting the sinews of her beating organ, stirring ripples of despair deep within her. There were good and bad days. Days filled with hope and days clouded by hopelessness. Days sprinkled with smiles and days stained with tears. 

There were days when she would make herself laugh just to feel alive. Then there were those days when she could not even lift her lips up into the slightest smile - she would just stare into space, letting the long, heavy silence swallow her completely. She would drift through those days as if in a daze. 

But there was Hideki.

She did not remember him this way but he was always full of energy, always bouncy, always larking about - as though he was trying to illuminate the spaces in her life that had been engulfed in blackness. He was endlessly encouraging, garrulous even - as though he was trying to banish the hateful silence of the apartment. Honestly, she would have lapsed into profound depression if not for his constant presence. 

Hideki’s presence became her respite from the storms of fear and despondency that raged within her. His presence became her respite in his absence. 

He talked to her.

He made her laugh. 

He brought her gifts. 

He scoured every nook and cranny of the town in search of the food she craved for as Nobu-chan grew rapidly inside her. 

He tried to make those eight months as comfortable for her as possible. 

He waited outside the clinic where she went for her monthly checkup, which then became fortnightly and then weekly, until the day she went into labour. 

He sat restlessly outside the delivery suite while listening to her screams of pain. 

If there was one thing Hideki could not do for her, it was being next to her in the most physically painful moment of her life. He was not the baby’s father, nor was he family. He was only a friend, a neighbour. But thankfully, after understanding her unique situation, the hospital allowed Tomoyo to accompany her during labour. 

When Nobuye was born, Hideki did all he could to fill the role left vacant by the father. 

He held him.

He smiled lovingly at him.

He sang to him.

He rocked him to sleep. 

He fed him. 

He changed him.

He bathed him. 

He read to him. 

He held his tiny hands as he learnt to walk.

He built houses made of wooden blocks with him.

He bought him his first basketball and taught him how to dribble and shoot. 

He was there to witness every one of his milestones. 

He was there where he should have been. 

Where Syaoran should have been. 

When she saw Hideki and Nobuye together, Syaoran’s face would flash across her mind, squeezing and wringing her insides, and she’d find herself looking on through a mist of tears. She’d then close her eyes, erasing the image, for it was too much for her to bear. Some nights, she would find herself haunted by nebulous dreams of him, of the one she loved but could never grasp - hazy, unreachable. 

How does one continue to have faith when things just seem so hopeless? 

Sakura - his voice calling her name reaching her ears in the silence of the night. 

Then - do you trust me? 

What do you do when you have nothing else to hold on to except memories and whispered promises? 

Keep hoping in joy, remain patient in pain, persevere in faith.

Have faith. 

Have faith in Xiao Lang.

An air tragedy won’t kill my brother. 

He wasn’t really gone. He was somewhere on the face of this Earth. 

But it’d been five years. Five years without a trace of him. Till now, she was still trying to parse his sudden disappearance. If he did not perish in the plane crash, then where was he? Why hadn’t he reached out if he was still alive? Questions that she could not find answers to haunted her almost every day. It left her helpless. It was frustrating. 

Five years ago, she reluctantly closed a chapter her heart was still writing. It consisted of a life she thought was going relatively well - doing what she enjoyed (besides cheerleading), being with a man whom she had grown to love, receiving more than she could ever dare imagine. And it had to end in the most tragic way. Why? 

When such consuming thoughts invaded her mind, Sakura quietly released them and rested her mind on what was already hers. 

Nobu-chan - her precious boy who made her heart swell with joy despite the difficulties motherhood entailed. Hearing his sweet bubbles of laughter, his first utterances, listening to him wax lyrical about his ‘adventures’ in the kindergarten, how he had built the world’s tallest tower with LEGO bricks, seeing him outgrow his onesies at lightning speed, watching him play and have fun with the simplest of things, were what grounded her. He was her last link with happiness, her one and only link to him , to Syaoran. 

Hideki-kun, otou-san , onii-chan , Tomoyo-chan - her safety nets, solid ground beneath her feet. They guided her like beacons through her darkest, loneliest days. How, then, could she think she had nothing left in the world to hold on to? This new chapter of her life would not have been possible without each one of them. So stupendous was their contribution to this unfolding chapter that she could not just let the past steal the life from her. She needed to be there - as a mother, as a friend, a daughter, a sister. She could not live just for herself, but for everyone who loved her. 

How does one continue to have faith when things just seem so hopeless? 

Count your blessings. 

“Oh yeah, Sakura?” Hideki began, as if weighing his words.

Sakura looked up from the pile of laundry she was about to sort and fold. “Yes?”

“Akira sent me this,” Hideki said, showing her an image from his chat app. “He thought you might be interested in it so he wanted me to relay it to you.”

Sakura peered at the image on Hideki’s phone screen, her eyes narrowing as she tried to make out the details. At first, a small spark of excitement lit up her eyes. But just as quickly, the spark faded, her lips dragged into a frown. Sakura’s head lolled to the side and sighed, “You know it’s as unfeasible as getting Nobu-chan to keep quiet for just a minute.”

This time, the frown hopped over to Hideki’s striking face. He pushed the floral-scented laundry aside and dropped onto the cushioned space next to her. “Cheerleading’s always been your passion, Sakura. You practically grew up with it running through your veins. Your heart wants it, no matter how hard you try to push it away.”

In response to the sudden slew of heartfelt words, Sakura could only offer her reticence. She stared down at her folded hands, then at the mound of laundry next to Hideki. Her eyes flitted everywhere but him - and his phone, which still glowed with the image she wished she could erase from her mind. 

Sparkling Stars was holding tryouts next Spring. How nostalgic. It seemed just yesterday that she, in the capacity of Captain, was seated on the bleachers with the panel of judges which included Coach Hayashi, a couple of former veteran cheerleaders of the squad, a few dance influencers and the squad’s owner whom they all called ‘Big Boss’. Tryouts were always a grand affair and it was one of those rare occasions when she could catch a glimpse of the bigwigs and exchange a few words with the veterans whom she admired. Sakura recalled being a bundle of nerves as she stood in front of the elite panel of judges who could make or break a dream, ready to showcase what she had to offer as a professional cheerleader. 

And she’d made it. And she’d not just made it - she came through their assessment with flying colours. When you do what you love, the most difficult feat becomes effortless. 

And in just the second year in her squad, she was named Captain. 

“You’ll go far, Kinomoto. Fix your eyes on the prize,” Coach Hayashi had told her in her endearingly imperious tone. 

But she had let her down. 

Sakura had let her down when she told her she had to quit, right before the peak competition season. She could never forget the deep lines of disappointment etched across Coach Hayashi’s face that day.

“Sakura,” Hideki voiced, taking one of her hands. 

She finally allowed her gaze to settle on him. 

“Stop sitting on the sidelines. The stage has always been yours.”

You’ll go far, Kinomoto. Fix your eyes on the prize. 

But the prize was now as distant as Neptune; cheerleading had become nothing but mere memory. Like Syao…

No, don’t go there. She batted away thoughts of a fading figure she was afraid to lose. Cheerleading was cheerleading. It was a chapter closed - for the better. 

Sakura’s face wreathed in the same, kindly smile. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do for me, Hideki-kun. But I’m done with cheerleading. I’ve a new life now. I’m a mum,” she said, gesturing towards Nobuye’s room. 

“I see you, Sakura,” Hideki intoned, drawing his hand away from hers. “I see how you are trying to find that piece of yourself you’ve left behind all those years ago.” 

Sakura chuckled. “What do you mean?”

“You aren’t happy, Sakura. It’s written all over your face. You’re as diaphanous as you can be, you know.”

“Look, Hideki-kun,” Sakura said, fixing her green eyes on Hideki’s dark ones. “I am happy. I have Nobu-chan, I have amazing friends like you and Tomoyo-chan, I have a supportive family. I have a pretty successful pastry business. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

“But -”

“Well, it’s getting late. Don’t you have practice tomorrow?” Sakura cut in, her tone dismissive, wanting to put an end to the conversation she did not wish to pursue.

“Sakura -”

“Hi-de-ki-kun,” Sakura pronounced, fixing him with that stern gaze she would give Nobuye whenever he did something she disapproved of. 

“Fine, fine. But if you change your mind, let me know. I’ll arrange something.” 

“Thank you. But I don’t think I will.”

A tone of finality. No turning back. Only keep moving forward.

Exhaling, Hideki rose from the couch and headed towards the front door. “Good night, Sakura.”

“Good night, Hideki-kun.” 

Sakura waved and once the door clicked shut, she got back to sorting and folding the freshly washed laundry, while she silently prayed the same prayer every night. 

Keep everyone safe. Keep Syaoran safe. Let me see him once more. Once more .

This was her life now - doing what she needed to, having faith, keeping it, hoping against all odds, surviving.

Going back into cheerleading was a dream she did not dare long for - not anymore.

Located in the heart of Tomoeda was a busy street of shophouses, where the rich scent of steaming oden and roasted sweet potatoes drifted through the crisp air. The chatter of shoppers huddled in scarves mingled with the soft jingling of bicycle bells and the distant toll of a temple bell. Paper lanterns flickered in warm reds and golds, casting gentle glows on wooden fa ç ades dusted with the first hints of frost, while a cold breeze carried the faint, sweet scent of withered autumn leaves, brushing sharply against the skin.

Tucked along a narrow cobblestone lane was Shin no Hana , its bright sign peeking out from under a row of red-tiled rooftops. Its glass windows glowed with a warm, golden light, and the walls were brushed in soft pastel hues. Pots of flowers framed the main door, adding a cheerful welcome to the cosy shop. A small silver bell hung above the door, chiming a merry jingle each time a customer entered or left.

Inside the shop, soft, soothing music drifted through the air, entwining with the faint aroma of freshly baked pastries. Some patrons chatted merrily with their companions, others were absorbed in books over steaming cups of tea and sweets, and a few simply sat, savouring each bite of cake as the cold winter breeze pressed against the windows outside. A glass display of assorted pastries sat beside the main door, their golden crusts and pastel creams gleaming enticingly under the warm shop light. A few customers streamed in to order takeaways, while others chose to enjoy their treats at the cosy tables inside. Sakura stood behind the counter, beaming with energy, making every visitor feel instantly welcome. The shop radiated such warm, cheerful energy that left every visitor smiling as they stepped back into the bustling street. 

Shin no Hana , or Flower of Faith, was one of the highly acclaimed patisseries in Tomoeda. Its signature sakura-flavoured croissant, exquisitely named La Fleur Sakura , went viral just a few minutes after its launch three springs ago. Its seasonal allure, velvety-smooth sakura custard with a whisper of sweetness, and flaky layers in blush-pink perfection crowned it the town’s must-try indulgence. Sakura and her team made only a limited batch of those blooming bites - and they vanished as soon as they left the oven. Even during the other seasons, La Fleur Sakura remained the shop’s monthly bestseller. A taste of spring, they called it. A taste of life, a taste of hope, a taste of a new beginning. 

The little bell above the shop’s entrance jingled.

“ Irrashaimase !” 

A svelte, raven-haired woman entered, her long dress billowing gracefully at her feet, the fragrance of fresh roses unfurling into the shop like the brush of lips against one's neck. Her diamond studs blazed like captured stars, her red lips puckered as her eyes, concealed beneath sleek shades, roamed over the glass display of pastries. 

“Do you still have the La Fleur Sakura ?” the model-like woman inquired, pushing her shades up and letting them nestle in her glossy, wavy hair. 

“I’m so sorry, ma’am. We sold out just before noon,” Sakura replied apologetically. Noting the disappointment in her expression, she quickly added, “If it interests you, we have a new pastry designed for the holiday season. It’s quite well-received among our customers.”

With her arms crossed and head tilted appraisingly, the woman asked, “Which is?”

Sakura parted her lips in surprise. “Zhenni-san?”

Wang Zhenni straightened her posture, her facial expression was one of equal surprise. “Kinomoto-san?” 

A hesitant curve tugging at her lips, Sakura ventured, “It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has, hasn’t it?”

A dull silence lingered in the space between the two former teammates, neither one knowing what to say next. 

“So, umm… what brings you to Tomoeda? It’s not a place many would think to visit,” Sakura began, trying to punctuate the uneasy silence with what she hoped was a light-hearted, casual question. Her last conversation with Wang Zhenni had been awkward, although it might have gone entirely unnoticed by her. Bearing something she knew yet the other party did not was not the most comfortable feeling one could experience. 

“Oh, my fiancé and I had been thinking about going on a short getaway, and this town popped up in our search,” Zhenni explained, her arms unfolding and fingers curling around the strap of her pink Chanel flap bag. “What about you? What're you doing here? Is this…” Zhenni's black eyes scanned the shop before resting on the former captain of Sparkling Stars, as if reaching a conclusion of her own. “... yours?” 

Sakura smiled politely. “Yup, it is.” Then, she added, “It's not much, but it's something.” She wasn't sure why she said that - perhaps it was the higher social stratosphere she found herself standing in that compelled her to bring in that statement of… self-assurance? Even after all those years, Sakura still found herself dwarfed by her presence. Despite her thin frame, Wang Zhenni was intimidating. Very intimidating. 

“It definitely is something - we actually came here for your La Fleur Sakura . It's been trending all over social media. I didn't know you were the source of all this crazy hype about a pink croissant. Seems like you've carved another niche for yourself, Kinomoto-san.”

“I didn’t expect all that. I’ve always enjoyed baking, and seeing others enjoy my creations enlivens me,” Sakura explained. Something shimmering on Zhenni’s finger caught her eye. It was a ring. A solitaire ring. The stone was at least a carat. Right, she mentioned she was here in Tomoeda with her fiancé. “Anyway, congratulations on your engagement. When’s the big day?”

Suddenly self-conscious, Zhenni flushed a shade darker than her blush powder and tried to tuck her ringed finger discreetly against her side. Sakura raised an eyebrow, baffled by her reaction. Did she make a gaffe of some sort that made her feel uncomfortable? 

A silvery jingle sounded. The front door eased open, and a tall, broad-shouldered man with tousled cinnamon locks stepped inside the shop. 

“ Irrashai -”

Burgundy crew neck knitted jumper over a light pink shirt, light tan chinos trousers, tan brown sports wedge shoes, a pair of warm, amber eyes, that all-too-familiar impassive face, yet undeniably handsome.

Sakura's heart tightened. The muscles squeezed themselves so tightly they blocked any passage of air entering or leaving. All of a sudden, she could not breathe. Was she imagining things? Was reality shifting before her eyes? Sakura felt as if she were swimming through a dream, a non-existent dream, a crazy dream. Her heart hammered frantically, wildly, like a maniac gone berserk. It was like lightning had struck her. It burned, it seized, it froze her to stillness. After so long, so long , she finally, finally got to see him .

He was real. He was real. And he was standing just in front of her. Just in front of her. In the flesh. In every fibre of his flesh. 

And he spoke. That voice, that voice, it…

“Got what you wanted?”

…completely crushed her. He did not acknowledge her, showed no sign that he recognised her. His eyes were completely on the swankily clad woman next to him. Completely, body and soul. His hand settled lightly on her back as his eyes, his eyes that used to lock onto her every time they were close by, roamed the interior of the shop, the pastries in the glass case, her, but not her , not Sakura. It was as if she weren’t there at all. 

Just what… was going on?

Five years weren’t long enough to completely erase someone from memory, were they? Sakura watched him, her brow furrowed. His eyes now rose to the menu board above their heads. Was what they had between them all been nothing but a drop in the ocean? He slid his hands into his trousers pockets, tongue rolling inside his cheek as he studied the shop’s selections. Up and down, right and left, everywhere, but her. 

Sakura could not wrench her gaze away, a pulsating throb building at her temple. Had she been truly, truly wiped off from his world, his heart? Or… was it possible for two people to look so uncannily alike? Maybe… maybe this man here was someone else, someone who bore a striking resemblance to Syaoran. Yes, that must be it. It made sense. 

Except it didn’t. It didn’t make any sense at all. Her heart was telling her that. She knew, she knew, she knew, that it was no one but Li Syaoran standing right there, in front of her, looking the same yet so different. 

Zhenni’s body gave the tiniest twitch, as though her fiancé’s appearance was unexpected. She stole a wary look in Sakura’s direction, and said to him, “They ran out of the La Fleur Sakura .”

For some reason, Sakura thought she heard Zhenni’s voice falter at the last word. 

“Then would you like to order something else?” Without waiting for his companion to answer, he turned to Sakura and asked, “What would you recommend?”

Amber locked onto emerald, scattering her ability to form words. 

Heat flared on Sakura’s cheeks. Her heart drummed chaotically inside her ribs. But she didn’t look away. She searched his gaze for some sort of recognition, any smidgen of it. Yet there was nothing - just the look an inquiring customer would give. To this man before her, she was simply someone who worked in a pastry shop. Just another fleeting face. A stranger. 

A tidal wave of emotions hit her, unbidden. And without warning, tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. Five years, five years of sullen, controlled sadness threatened to gush out like a river bursting its bank. But Sakura held it all in. She drew in a long, steady breath, fighting to keep the tears at bay. But it was so hard, especially seeing him right in front of him, yet he wasn’t the same person she once knew. He was so close, close enough to touch, yet beyond her grasp. 

Countless were the moments she had wished, with everything in her being, that he was by her side. Those unbearably uncomfortable days of the first trimester, the first time she heard Nobu-chan’s heartbeat - the sound of miracle - in the gynecologist’s room, every visit when she was told how well their little bean was growing, the day when her water broke and stabbing bursts of pain shot through her body, the absolutely liberating moment when Nobu-chan’s warm body slipped out from her, the heartbreaking moment when she realised his father was not there to sever the umbilical cord, the nights when she would awake in pain because of the tear her little boy made on his way out of her birth canal, the times she needed assistance to move around and go to the toilet, the first nights when she had no one but herself to care for a newborn baby, the moments of anxieties as a first-time mum, when Nobu-chan fell ill, every milestone he had reached, the countless times she had felt inadequate and lost, the day when she told Coach Hayashi she had to resign from the squad, that rejuvenating moment when she found a new lease in life after cheerleading, the opening of her first ever pastry shop, the frustrating moments of parenting, countless, countless moments she had wished, in sheer desperation, that Syaoran was there with her, through it all, through it all.

Of course, the days, the years, went by without him ever showing up until now. And even so, she wasn’t sure it was him at all. How could it be, when the man whom she loved stood like a stranger in front of her? It couldn’t be him. No, it just couldn’t be. No.

But it was. It was him . No matter how much she tried to convince herself he wasn’t, he was. He was the man who had taken every piece of her with him when he left. He was the man to whom her heart belonged, completely and irrevocably. 

With the most radiant and carefully measured expression that she had cultivated in her cheerleading days when she mastered the skill of concealing every emotion except joy and excitement, Sakura gave a polite smile as she introduced the new flavour she had invented for the holiday season. “I’d recommend our recently launched Candy Cane Bliss. The sponge roll is made of chocolate with peppermint-infused cream filling and candy cane bits. It’s garnered a positive response from customers who have tried it.” Her heart still pounded incessantly inside her as she delivered the polished speech she had given countless times to customers, introducing her new pastry. Without realising, she toyed absently with her watch, one thing she had cherished like her own life over those five years. Wearing it somehow allowed her to feel him close by despite his prolonged absence. There were days when it brought her pain, but there were times when it brought her immense comfort. Many had asked her where she had gotten such a beautiful timepiece and she would always smile and say it was a gift. And they would assume it was from Hideki judging from the knowing look they gave her in response. Sakura did not correct them, knowing it would just invite more questions she wasn’t ready or willing to answer. She kept Syaoran close to her heart, remembering him with each step she took, with each breath she inhaled. A person was only, truly dead if he was forgotten. Amidst her grief and ache and the torment of wanting, Sakura tried to keep him alive in ways she knew how. 

Spraying her sheets with bergamot - that lingering scent that always clung to him. Using bergamot-scented shampoo and soap. Air-drying and encasing the flowers he had given her once upon a time. Making sure Nobu-chan learned the language of his father’s roots. Wearing the watch he had given her like her own skin. Remembering every conversation they had, every contact that was shared between them, every detail of him, every scar that he carried on his body, the stillness of the night when Nobu-chan was conceived. Loving him through every memory she held of him.

And of course, the ring. That absolutely beautiful ring that carried all the words he had wanted to say but did not get the chance to, which she wore on a thin silver chain around her neck. It was where she could keep it close to her heart, reminding her of his promises. She had received it in her mail a few weeks before she gave birth to Nobu-chan. There was a note handwritten by Eriol, telling her that the ring was intended for the moment Syaoran would propose. Sakura had cried. The tears wouldn’t stop. So much anguish, so much pain, so much ache - for what could have been, now reduced to nothing.

She could not let go of him. She did not want to. 

“What do you think?” he asked, turning to look at his fiancée. 

Zhenni shrugged and said, “Sure, I don’t mind. But we’ll share one, okay? Competition season’s coming, and I need to fit into my cheerleading uniform.”

His lips tipped into a smirk. 

That same smirk he had when Sakura had commented that indulging in the cake he gave her would leave her unable to fit into her cheerleading uniform.

“Of course,” came his amused reply. 

I’d be honoured to take full responsibility for your extra pounds. 

A small smile flickered on Sakura’s lips as she recalled that night in his room when they shared the finest strawberry mille cr ê pe cake she had ever tasted. It was the last time she saw him before he left for his business trip, before he went missing. 

“We’ll have a slice of that cake you recommend.”

“S-sorry?” Sakura faltered, so lost in memories that she almost forgot where she was. 

“We’ll have that candy cane thing or whatever you call it. One slice,” he repeated, his voice calm and steady. 

“Sure, of course. Please have a seat and we will bring it to you shortly. Anything else you would like to add? Perhaps some matcha to go with the cake?” Sakura suggested with practised ease.

“Sure. Does your shop accept card payment?”

“Don’t worry about it. Consider my treat. Zhenni-san and I… were former teammates. It wouldn’t be right to make you guys pay.”

His gaze shifted to Zhenni. “Really?”

Sakura noticed how the obsidian-haired woman who once cheered alongside her was clutching her bag even more tightly than before, but she gave no thought to it and continued, “There’s a two-seater right at the corner. Please make yourselves comfortable; we’ll serve your order soon.”

“Thank you.”

Sakura did not know who said it but she didn’t care. All she wanted to do was to run away and hole herself up and cry.

Steeling herself to remain composed, Sakura slid a slice of Candy Cane Bliss onto a plate decorated with soft, blooming cherry blossoms, and prepared the accoutrements of the matcha tea ceremony. 

One evening, after Nobu-chan had fallen asleep, she was scrolling through videos when she stumbled upon one demonstrating a matcha tea ceremony. The quiet grace of it calmed her in an unexpected way. Inspired, she enrolled in classes to learn the art of preparing and serving traditional Japanese tea - and enjoyed it so deeply that she imagined her customers would love it too. From then on, she offered it as an additional service for her patrons, though it was only a simplified rendition of the complete ritual.

“ Ne , Sakura-san,” Momoko, one of Sakura's trusted employees, started. She sidled up next to her and whispered, “You know that couple you were serving just now? That lady? She's Wang Zhenni!”

Sakura gave pause to what she was doing and looked at Momoko, surprised. “You know her?”

“Who doesn't! She's really famous on social media! She has, like, four million followers!” Momoko exclaimed, her voice no longer a whisper but not loud enough to travel beyond the counter. “I can't believe she's here in our shop!”

Neither can I , Sakura thought to herself. She had always known Wang Zhenni did not come from a simple background, though she could only ever sense the shadow of power and privilege behind it. But to have four million followers on her social media account? Wow, that revelation struck her with pure astonishment. It was staggering. Honestly, though, it was not so unexpected. Look at her - so poised, so glamorous, so divine, like a goddess. And she had seen how she danced and moved during cheerleading practice. She was a natural - but more than that, she was gifted. Sakura had never seen anyone move the way she did. She was so good it stirred in her a tiny twinge of envy, reminding her of how mediocre she actually was in comparison to her almost flawless skills. She still had so much to catch up on, so much to learn, so much she couldn’t yet do.

“And that guy with her? He’s the head of this super massive global enterprise. He isn’t just rich and powerful, but really, really hot . He’s, like, the crush of every female alive on this planet,” Momoko continued to ramble on. “Many say they’re like a match made in heaven,” she sighed, gazing at them with dreamy eyes. “I still can’t believe Wang Zhenni and Li Syaoran are here in our shop!” 

Crash!

The plate Sakura was holding slipped out of her hand and splintered into shards across the floor. 

“Oh no, Sakura-san! Are you okay?” Momoko fretted. Shepherding her away from the sharp debris, she assured, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this.” 

Wang Zhenni and Li Syaoran. Li Syaoran . It was really him. Wang Zhenni’s fiancé. They were getting married. Li Syaoran and Wang Zhenni were getting married. 

“Sakura-san? Sakura-san?” 

Sakura didn’t move a muscle.

She couldn’t hear, couldn’t sense, couldn’t feel herself or her surroundings. She could only stare straight ahead, stare at his cinnamon-coloured hair, his brows, his eyes the shade of milk chocolate, his chiselled jaw, his warm protective hands that held her, that gave her a sense of security no else could, his shoulders she would lay her head on, and his lips - they held hers, tasted her, whispered words that wove into eternal promises in her heart. 

“Sakura-san?” Momoko’s voice was raised to a shout, loud enough to cause some heads to turn in their direction, loud enough to yank Sakura back to the present. 

“S-sorry, Momoko-chan. I - uh - I need to go get a new plate. For the cake.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it. You go rest. You look a little pale. Are you feeling alright?” Momoko asked, her brow knitted in concern. 

“Y-yeah, I’m alright. I - I just need to get a drink,” Sakura answered, heading to the little room behind the counter reserved for staff. 

“Take your time, okay? I’ll bring the cake out to them,” Momoko offered, retrieving a fresh, clean plate from the cabinet. 

“Thank you, Momoko-chan.”

Sakura drank a quick sip from her thermal flask, then set it aside. The warmth of the water soothed her nerves and she felt she could breathe properly again. She closed her eyes and took a few deliberate, calming breaths, the same ones she had learnt in prenatal class in preparation for Nobu-chan’s arrival. It was fascinating how continuous rounds of mindful inhalation and exhalation could ease the excruciating pain of labour, and in this instance, melt away the tension that had coiled in her chest. 

Whether she liked it or not, it was plain enough - to him, she was just a stranger, that same person who first stepped foot into his house five years ago. She held no significance in his life - at least that was how it seemed. She had no inkling of what had transpired for him to act the way he did earlier but she was determined to uncover the truth. She needed to know why, what, how, everything . After all that she had been through, she deserved at least that little piece of explanation. 

Sakura rose to her feet, patted her cheeks and encouraged herself, “You can do this, Sakura. Have faith.”

Exiting the employees’ room, she made her way back to the counter, arranging the paraphernalia for the tea ceremony.

“Are you feeling better, Sakura-san?” Momoko asked, worry softening her eyes.

“ Hai , turned out I just needed to rehydrate,” Sakura replied, smiling warmly at the younger girl beside her. 

Momoko smiled back. “That’s good to hear! Anyway, I’ve served the cake to the legendary couple. They are just waiting for the tea ceremony to start.”

Sakura could not resist just one quick glance at him , at them . Her eyes lingered a moment on him, tracing the familiar curve of his jaw, the tilt of his head, and then she looked away, focusing on the task at hand. She carried the tray carefully, each movement practised, calm. The little clink of porcelain against wood echoed softly in the café as she pottered towards their table.

There he was - the barest flicker of smile tracing his features she knew so well despite the short months that they were together. She had committed every part of him to her memory. She watched as his runway-ready companion gave a playful shove to his chest. He must have said something endearingly annoying. Dejection rippled through her. He wasn’t hers anymore. 

Slowly, almost reluctantly, Sakura approached their table, setting the tray down with gentle precision. “I will now begin your tea preparation,” she said softly, her voice polite, measured, as if it were just another customer she was serving.

Sakura poured hot water into two jade green ceramic bowls, letting it swirl gently. Then, she scooped some matcha powder and stirred it into the bowls. The whisk in her deft hand moved rhythmically, the matcha frothing to a soft green foam, her hands steady even as a riot raged in her stomach.

Offering the bowls to her two customers with a slight bow, Sakura invited, “Please, enjoy.”

For now, she would wait. She would serve. She would watch from just close enough to feel him near, without speaking - not until she understood why he seemed… changed.

It was then that her uncannily sharp senses caught the achingly familiar scent of bergamot, and the equally familiar warmth that seemed to settle over her. She lifted her eyes and her stomach took a dip. 

His gaze held hers, silent and intent. 

They seemed suspended in time. Their eyes just stayed, wordless.

In that moment, Sakura thought she saw a shadow of recognition cross his face, but it was gone almost instantly. Then, an unnecessary apology, “Sorry, I was just - do we know each other?”

Panic gripped her and her mind seemed to stall. She did not know what to say, but she saw how his eyes travelled to her wrist where the watch rested and then back to her face. She saw how Zhenni stiffen in her seat, fiddling with her fork, not saying a word. 

Syaoran was genuinely puzzled.

Something must have gone terribly wrong five years ago. 

To his question, Sakura had so much to say, so much. But she could say nothing. 

What could she say? That yes, they didn’t just know each other - they loved each other. So much so that they had a son together. That yes, he had planned to propose to her. That yes, she saw every scar he carried. Yes, he saw her at her most vulnerable, knew her from the inside out in that short span of time that they were together. Yes, yes, they did, they did. But no. Maybe not. She wasn’t sure. After all, their time together hadn’t been very long. A sudden realisation struck her - there was probably still so much about him that remained a mystery to her - and she could be one to him as well. Five years was hardly short, so it was entirely possible that she had been banished to oblivion in his heart. 

Maybe everything he’d said and done was nothing more than a passing fancy. Typical of men in his social stratosphere, really. 

“Mmm, this matcha is really smooth… kinda sweet and earthy too, just the way I like it,” Zhenni piped up, filling the prickling silence.

Syaoran returned his attention to his companion, his movement carrying a hint of reluctance. He seemed intent on getting his question answered but the very presence of Zhenni herself snuffed that out. He took a sip of the emerald liquid, offering no reply. 

“Enjoy,” Sakura said again, her voice dropping to almost a whisper now, as if any louder might betray her emotions. She snuck a glance at Syaoran, hoping he might spare her one more glance. Just one more. 

But he did not look her way again. 

Do we know each other?

Yes, yes, Syaoran-kun, we do, we do. Have you really forgotten about me, about us?

They were words that stayed locked behind her lips. She could not say them, not until she understood what had shifted in him. What was more, Zhenni probably did not have a clue… or did she? Sakura brushed the notion off and with a final smile, she bowed and walked away, each step like a part of him slipping through her fingers, hope crumbling, incinerated by distance. 

How unexpected. Nights she spent praying until sleep overcame her - praying that he’d be safe, he’d return, they’d reunite, all the while worrying about his safety, whether he was well and living, that wherever he was, he was alright - seemed to have culminated in this moment. Yes, her prayers were heard, were answered, but.

But she was nothing more to him than a stranger now.  

Sakura wasn’t sure if she should be relieved that he was still alive, or be consumed by this crushing, intense, bitter disappointment that he seemed to have completely wiped her off from his memory.

How was it possible to be so full of hope one moment, only to realise the next that everything longed for had been nothing more than a pipe dream? 

As Sakura busied herself at the counter, trying to pluck the thoughts of hopelessness out of her head for just a split second, his eyes caught hers. 

Amber locked onto emerald. Once again. 

And in that same moment, a gentle warmth grazed her chest. Instinctively, Sakura felt for it - it was the ring. She felt its soothing heat seep through the wool of her sweater. She felt a tiny breath of air blowing softly against her palm, like a soothing wind. She felt him - his heat, his nearness, closing around her, around and around and around, tight, until she could not help but offer him a ghost of a smile. 

What do you do when reality feels worlds away from what you are hoping for?

Smile it through. 

His eyelids lifted. He scanned his surroundings. Towering figures loomed over his recumbent form. The space he was in… where was he? Wait - who was he? What was he doing… here? And… who were these people standing around him? One question after another came to him in a dizzying rush. He clutched his head, eyes squeezed shut. 

Then, a touch bestirred him. It jolted his senses. It felt foreign, cold. 

“Xiao Lang,” came a voice he had never heard before.

Slowly, he opened his eyes. A porcelain-faced, raven-haired woman came into view. She was so close to him he wanted to recoil. Her sharp, floral scent stung his nostrils. He wanted to move away from her, from everyone in the room, but his body felt too heavy, too ponderous, to even move a finger. 

“How are you feeling?” the same voice asked, inching closer. 

“He’s going to be fine. He just needs time to adjust,” a deeper voice said. He was portly, resembling a sweet potato. 

Then, another figure, statuesque, leaned over him. Her face was set, sharp with severity, but beneath lay unmistakable worry. “Xiao Lang,” another utterly foreign voice spoke, “I am your mother, Li Yelan.”

Syaoran gave a slow blink, then another, as though processing what he had just heard. Mother… the tall, steely woman was his mother. His gaze swept across the room, noting a silver-haired, austere, forbidding man near the door, and a similar-looking man donned in a white coat, a stethoscope around his neck just opposite his mother. 

Once the stethoscope had traced its cold circle over his ribs, White Coat Man’s eyes narrowed as he inspected his pupils and the rhythm of his breathing. Having satisfied himself with his duty as the family doctor, he straightened and said, “Young Master Li’s vitals are working as they should. Give him a few days and he should be back to normal.”

His mother nodded, seemingly satisfied with White Coat Man’s assurance. She lightly placed a palm on his cheek, her dark eyes softened into a smile. “I’m glad you’re back, Xiao Lang.”

“Do you… recognise any of us?” It was Sweet Potato Man’s voice. And to his question, Syaoran only moved his head in negation, dulled by fatigue. “Do you know who you are?” And to that question, Syaoran pressed against the fog of his thoughts, but no memory of himself surfaced, his mind an infuriating void. Xiao Lang - that was what he heard himself being called. That must be his name, he presumed. He had a name, but that had also eluded him had it not been spoken to him by his mother and the floral-scented woman. Other than that, his identity was an utter blank to him. 

His senses were so clouded that he did not pick up the momentary flash of relief and satisfaction that crossed Sweet Potato Man’s face. Syaoran looked up vacantly at him, shifting his head side to side like a lost child. 

“It’s okay to not know,” Sweet Potato Man cooed, patting his arm gently. “But know that all of us here are your family.”

For reasons he could not name, Syaoran flinched at the unbidden touch. Instinctively, he drew back his arm.

Sweet Potato Man chuckled. “It’s okay. Right now, everything and everyone might appear strange to you but you will slowly learn. Let’s start properly, shall we?” Putting a hand on his bulky chest, Sweet Potato Man introduced himself, “I’m Wang Shiren, your future father-in-law.”

His mother released a sibilant sigh. He turned to look at her. She offered a smile, though taut with an emotion he could not identify. 

“And as you already know, this lady here,” Sweet Potato Man continued as he extended a hand in her direction, “is your mother, Li Yelan. And the four beautiful ladies over there are your older sisters. And - ”

“You are the pillar of the Li clan, Xiao Lang. This is one thing you must always remember,” the silver-haired old man interposed, his tone imperious. 

A small, derisive laugh escaped Sweet Potato Man’s lips. “Ah yeah, this is your granduncle, Li Wei. He’s also the head elder of your family clan.” He waved toward the greying but robust old man with a languid gesture. 

Another look of emptiness. 

Motioning for Floral-scented Woman over to his side, Sweet Potato Man said, his jowly face lighting up, “This is my daughter, Wang Zhenni, who is also your betrothed.” 

Syaoran's eyes snapped to Floral-scented Woman. Betrothed? Her? She stirred nothing in him. No connection, nothing. She smiled coyly at him and leaned in closer. “Hi, Xiao Lang. I'm Zhenni. You don't remember me but it's okay. We will rebuild things between us; I'll always be by your side, I promise.” She touched his arm gently, but tentatively, gauging his reaction. 

Syaoran didn't pull back this time. He only regarded her in silence. If she was someone he had promised to marry, then… he must have had some kind of special feelings for her, right? As blank as his mind was about his own identity, his ingrained sense of responsibility would not let him turn away, anchoring him to acceptance. He did not know who he was, had no idea what sort of person he was, but he knew he was a man of duty, a man who needed to shoulder all that was entrusted to him. 

Looking at his fiancée without expression, Syaoran said nothing, still confused and uncertain and overwhelmed and lost and cold. 

I promise.

Was there something he was supposed to remember but had forgotten?

“Do you think our plan would work, Father?” 

“Don’t worry, Zhenni Sweetheart. We’ve got it all under control.”

“But… he doesn’t look convinced. You know how sharp he is.”

“That might be true, but with your capabilities, you’ll be able to make him your man through and through, completely .”

“You think my charm will work on him?”

“No doubt about it. He’s almost a clean slate now, like a blank canvas. All he needs are the right, careful strokes that will define him the way we want.”

“Do you think he’ll ever get his memories back?”

“Impossible - the powers we’d ripped from the Hiiragizawa boy are frighteningly formidable. He was known for his flawless command of memory manipulation. He was unmatched in his league. Of course, now, he’s as good as a creature of dust.”

“Father, I’m scared. What if -”

“There are no what-ifs, only what is . What is, Zhenni. Remember, Li Xiao Lang belongs to us now, belongs to you .”

“Right, Father.”

“Go - release your strokes and make him the man you want him to be. For you, for us .”

SummerSensations:  Thank you for reading till the end, as always! <3

Chapter Text

Synopsis:

Sakura fell in love with a man she knew was out of her league. He had an incredibly long line of suitors waiting to enchant him and become his wife. What would he see in her that the other women did not have? As fate would have it, they cared for each other deeply. Their love blossomed over time. But one fateful day, he disappeared. She was told he was dead. But she held on to the belief he was still alive. Alas, he reappeared, but not as a her Li Syaoran, but a fiancé of the daughter of the Wang clan. He did not know Kinomoto Sakura existed, let alone a certain little boy who carried his surname.

Chapter 13: A Glimmer

Sakura cinched her coat close as the gusty winter wind pressed against her. Before closing the door to Hideki's Audi, she leaned down and planted a tender kiss on Nobu-chan's rosy, chubby cheek. "Be good and listen to your teachers, 'kay? See you later."

Nobuye stretched out his arms towards his mother, inviting her into their daily parting hug. Squeezing his little body tight, Sakura pressed another kiss on the crown of his head. "Love you."

"I love you too, okaa-san," came Nobuye's muffled voice against Sakura's trench coat.

Stepping back, Sakura looked at Hideki and smiled. "Thank you, Hideki-kun."

"If I could gather all the thank-yous you've said to me since the beginning," quipped Hideki, tossing her that effortlessly charming grin that would send girls swooning after him in their student days, "I'd have enough to paint the entire sky." It was also that same grin that had always sent her heart aflutter during their dating days.

Now, there were no more flutters, only a radiating warmth that would course through her veins, reminding her she was not alone in her struggles. His smiles might just be smiles to him, but to her, they offered a tiny spark in the blackest depths, a glimmer, a glimmer of hope in the murkiest trenches.

"I'd like to see you do that," Sakura bantered in return, wearing an expression that vacillated between playful vexation and reluctant amusement.

Looking scandalised, Hideki said, "Oh, no, Madam, you should never challenge Kimura Hideki, because -"

"He's a knucklehead," Sakura finished, pulling herself away from Nobuye, fingers clutching the door handle, pursing her lips in feigned maternally driven disapproval.

A chirruping laugh bubbled out of Nobuye. "Okaa-san, what's a knucklehead? It sounds funny!"

"Ask your dear Hide-kun. He knows better than anyone," Sakura deflected, casting Hideki a mischievous arch of her freshly trimmed eyebrows.

"Nah-uh, we're running late. Say bye to mummy, Kinomoto Nobuye," Hideki hedged, waving his hand languidly. A second later, he added, "Sakura, you're really one sassy mama. Look what you've done, Kinomoto Nobuye."

Nobuye looked at Hideki, befuddled. "I'm a good boy! Ne, 'kaa-san?" The little boy turned to his mother for her confirmation of his honest claim.

After flashing Hideki an exaggerated death glare, Sakura ruffled Nobuye's chocolate locks and said, "Of course, you are, sweetheart. Alright, I'm gonna get going. See you guys later."

Hideki gave a two-finger salute while Nobuye trilled, "Bye bye, okaa-san!"

With a huge smile plastered on her face, Sakura gave a hearty wave before pivoting on her heels and striding towards Shin no Hana.

Approaching her shop, she noticed a figure standing by the entrance. She checked her watch. It was five minutes before eight. Her shop wasn't open until ten. To date, it had never seen a queue before nine, though by nine-thirty, there was always a line of customers, all eager to get their hands on the highly acclaimed La Fleur Sakura before it sold out by noon. But never had she seen someone outside her shop this early in the morning.

The silhouette of the figure slowly sharpened into view.

Sakura's heart fluttered. Like it always would when it came to him.

Tightening her grip over the leather straps of her cream-coloured tote bag, she muttered, "Hello."

Sakura felt herself momentarily winded when their eyes met. There was no counter or glass case standing between them, no unknown distance separating them, no one holding them apart. Just the two of them, unassailed.

"Oh, hi, I just noticed your shop's opening hours. Looks like I came too early," said the man with a head of milk chocolate locks, tilting his head towards the sign hung on the front door, hands stuffed inside his navy blue parka jacket.

He looked like a piece of meat just taken out of the freezer. She remembered he had mentioned how he disliked the cold and how she had practically laughed out loud because it was such an irony. A cold man afraid of the cold. Seriously, who wouldn't find that funny? Instead of lasering her with an even colder look at her explicit breach of etiquette, he had merely let a smile creep up his face. He could be frigid in his mannerisms, but he was always polite and when it came to her, he was more than polite - he was gentle and caring in his own way.

Sakura had missed that.

Wistfully, she watched him shift from foot to foot, as if wrestling with a quiet struggle against the cold.

"I was hoping to get your famous croissant. My fiancée was quite disappointed that it ran out by the time she made it to your shop yesterday."

Ah, fiancée. His words hit her like a ton of bricks. So painful.

A wintry breeze brushed against her skin, sending a slight shiver down her spine. Gosh, it was cold. Swallowing any ounce of insupportable ache that kept gnawing at her soul, Sakura offered, in a voice as strong as her wilting heart, "Would you like to come inside?"

Syaoran paused in his shuffle, his breath misting in the air as he spoke, "That'd be… nice. That is, if it isn't too much of an inconvenience to you."

Sakura walked up to the front door and entered the passcode. With a soft blip, the door unlocked, allowing her to push it open into the quiet, darkened shop. Angling her head towards Syaoran, she said with a faint smile, "Just so you know, I don't do this for every customer. C'mon in."

"I know. I've to thank Zhenni for this exceptional hospitality." A crooked smile, a glimmer of the man she remembered.

But only, a glimmer.

How he must care deeply for the woman he was now with. At her behest, or perhaps without her knowledge so he could surprise her, he had specially arrived at her shop well before opening hours just to get the La Fleur Sakura for her. Sakura wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter because he was simply the sweetest man on earth full of sweet surprises. She recalled the time she'd had with him on Fushigi Island, the watch, the cake, the ring, which was a surprise left undone. Quietly, Sakura led the way into the shop. She switched on the electricity, and the place brightened into life. "Would you like some tea?" she asked, shedding her trench coat.

"Sure, if it isn't too much trouble."

"I'm making some for myself, anyway."

"Thank you."

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll let you know once the croissants are ready. How many would you like?"

"Just two."

"Okay."

Sakura made her way to the back of the counter, busying herself with her usual pre-opening tasks. As she was setting the kettle to boil, the bell tinkled. Her eyes darted to the shop. She was sure she had not flipped the open-close sign when she entered the shop.

"Sakura-chan, ohayo!"

Ah, that explained it.

"Tomoyo-chan! What a surprise! I thought your plane wouldn't touch down until this evening!"

"Well, I managed to conclude my project earlier than expected. So here I am! I couldn't wait to see you and Nobu-chan!"

Sakura emerged from behind the counter and wrapped her long-time best friend in a tight hug. The two girls held each other for a while, all that needed to be said spoken through the warmth of their embrace. As always.

"How've you been these six months, Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked as soon as they broke away from their hug.

"We just talked last week, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura reminded her, helping her out of her coat.

"I know. But it's different asking in person, no?" Tomoyo answered, then mouthed her thanks as she passed her coat to Sakura to be hung.

Following her friend, Tomoyo stepped behind the counter where the former was retrieving a tin of tea bags from one of the cabinets. As she briefly surveyed the shop, as though trying to see if there was anything different, she spotted a lone figure at the far corner. Giving him a curious once-over, she turned to Sakura, who was now pouring hot water into three ceramic cups, and asked in a low voice, "Who's that? Why does it seem like I've seen him before?"

Sakura froze. She was hoping Tomoyo wouldn't notice him. But she still did. Nothing could escape her keen senses. Trying to act like everything was fine, Sakura continued with her tea preparation. Her fingers trembled slightly as she pried the tea tin open. The calm, earthy aroma of ocha greeted her. But she could not bring herself to enjoy the sweet fragrance of the top-grade tea leaves, which her otou-san had got for her while he was in Uji for a seminar, as she did every morning. His words that always rang like a soothing bell as she made and sipped the tea were banished into oblivion.

The true quality of tea leaves is revealed when touched by hot water. As hot water meets the tea leaves, their colour and flavour unfurl. Then, you can truly smell and taste the quality of the tea.

Those words clung to her, giving her the strength to live each day. They granted her a moment of serenity. But today, right now, every neuron in her was jolted awake, as they became entirely preoccupied with the predicament she found herself in.

The hot water you're about to pour over the tea leaves is like the trials in your life - at first overwhelming, but ultimately drawing out your true strength and character.

"Oh. Oh! Oh my God, oh my God. He's - why didn't you tell me he's back?" exclaimed Tomoyo, her amethyst eyes wide in stupefaction.

Sakura hushed her, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention, namely from the one who was already casting curious glances in their direction. "Tomoyo-chan, not so loud."

Arms folded in front of her chest, the raven-haired girl frowned, clearly disgruntled with the baffling tension. Eyes narrowing, she said, her voice dripping with suspicion, "What are you hiding from me, Sakura-chan?"

Beneath her peevish façade, there was a gentleness that stirred the very anguish that Sakura sought to bury. She felt her throat constrict with an unspoken ache and as she looked into Tomoyo's worried, searching eyes, she felt tears pricking at the corners of her own.

Even after all these years, his absence still burnt. It was still as overwhelming as the hot water she just poured into the tea cups. She wondered what true strength and character came out of her from this ordeal, because she could only feel herself wilting slowly, petal by petal.

"Tell me, Sakura-chan, what's wrong?" Tomoyo asked, her voice soft as cotton. Tenderly, she held her hand in hers as she waited, waited for the words to come out of her best friend, the words that she knew circled endlessly within her with nowhere to escape.

Swallowing back her tears, Sakura choked, "He… He's not the same."

"What do you mean he's not the same?" Tomoyo prompted softly, trying to understand.

"He… has lost all his past memories, it seems," said Sakura, her voice barely a whisper.

A crease of befuddlement crossed Tomoyo's porcelain complexion. "I - what? How?"

"I wish I knew," surrendered Sakura. She set the kettle down and reached for a tray in one of the bottom shelves.

Rearranging her expression into one of pure resolve, Tomoyo fanned her thick, dark hair out behind her back, and said, "Well, you don't need to wish for that, do you? He's here. He's here, Sakura-chan. Go talk to him!"

"It's more complicated than that, Tomoyo-chan." Sakura curled her fingers carefully over one of the steaming cups of tea and placed it on the tray. Then, she continued, her words as lifeless as a log, "He's engaged."

Tomoyo's fingers faltered on the cup of tea Sakura had just handed her, almost sending it crashing onto the floor. Her face got all twisted up as she asked in a voice that could easily provoke a row, "Who?"

Sakura pulled out a loaf of brioche, which was freshly baked the previous day, from a brown paper bag. Placing it on a wooden chopping board, she positioned a bread knife over the brown-crusted loaf and began slicing. "It's…" She paused mid-slice, turned her gaze to Tomoyo, and wondered if she should tell her. She was not going to take it well. She wondered if she would ever get out of this hot water situation. Or could she just simply get used to it? So scalded that it no longer hurt?

A soothing, earthy scent wafted into her nose. It was from the tea Sakura had just made. The fragrance was invigorating, calming, pleasantly strong. The deep amber hue of the liquid reminded her of his eyes. Then, she remembered his smell, bergamot. Oddly enough, Sakura thought she caught the faintest trace of that citrusy, sweet floral scent coming from the tea. Why had she not noticed it before? Or was it just her senses playing a trick on her because he was here?

"Yes?" Tomoyo pressed, her impeccably manicured fingers drumming on her elbow.

Sakura knew it'd be futile to try to conceal anything from her, who had a knack for seeing right through her since they were kids. Letting the bread knife rest atop the chopping board, she drew in a small breath, cast a quick glance at Syaoran to ensure he was out of earshot, and said in a low voice, "It's Zhenni-san. Wang Zhenni."

"You mean one of the girls his mother had set him up with before?"

Sakura nodded, staring a few paces down and noticing Syaoran's eyes on them, on her. There was a look of curiosity written on his wind-chapped face, draping over them, her, like a poised net. She quickly averted her gaze and returned to slicing the loaf of brioche. She could not help but resent the way one innocent look from Li Syaoran could send her heart burning, burning for what she did not dare hope for, burning for the almost impossible. The air was cold, but her body blazed as though lit from within. Despite her painstaking efforts to focus on slicing the brioche, she could feel his gaze searing into her. It was a tragedy of epic proportions.

Patting down the froufrou on her blouse, Tomoyo sneered caustically, "I didn't know him to be such a wanker, honestly. This whole situation is downright farcical. And unacceptable. That's for sure. I can't just sit on the sidelines and watch the two of you crash and burn." Tomoyo made to move towards Syaoran but was intercepted by Sakura.

"What're you going to tell him, Tomoyo-chan? It could just worsen things -"

"How much worse can it get? You've been left derelict. You went through hell. And the infuriating thing is, he's oblivious to everything. Everything!" Tomoyo uttered, her voice restrained, her hands thrown in the air in frustration.

It was seldom that Sakura saw her friend in this near-flustered state. Although Tomoyo was always all around the world because of work, she had never failed her duty as a friend. No matter how hectic her schedule was, she would always make time for her - calls, texts, intermittent visits. Tomoyo invested not only her time but her money too. Shin no Hana would not have been possible if not for her unwavering support. She was the greatest contributor to her ability to establish the pastry business, which continued to thrive to this day. And she had never once asked anything in return.

I just want you to be happy, Sakura-chan.

In those years that Syaoran was absent, Tomoyo believed alongside Sakura that he was not truly gone, that he was going to come back one day. She had faith in her best friend's faith. And that faith she held gave Sakura hope. She had looked forward to his return. They had hoped and believed together.

But not like this. Seeing his indifference towards the woman, her best friend, to whom he had promised the universe incensed her. She was aghast, gravely rankled. She could never ever forgive him, forgive herself, if she did not set things right, return things to where they belonged.

Li Syaoran belonged with Sakura, not with some random girl he was once set up with. How they even ended up together was something she really wanted to know. But that wasn't the priority now. She needed to shake him and tell him everything he needed to know. It didn't matter if he remembered or not - he only needed to know. He must know. It was the only option. The only right one.

"He needs to know, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo insisted, but her voice was soft as cotton again.

Sakura disagreed, "If you march up to him just like that, he's gonna think of you as a complete heathen!"

"I don't care what he thinks. I want you to be happy, Sakura-chan. That's the only thing I care about. So please, for once, think for yourself. If not," Tomoyo beseeched, "at least think of Nobu-chan."

Tomoyo's words had struck a tender spot, and Sakura felt her composure falter.

The curious, pitying stares she'd get every family day at Nobu-chan's pre-school. He was the only child with a single parent. Everyone else was flanked by Daddy and Mummy. The innocent questions his classmates would ask, "Where's your otou-san?" The wilted look on Nobu-chan's face. The mindless twiddling of his fingers as he tried to hide his shame. It only got worse as he grew older and more aware that his family was incomplete. The sense of desolation Sakura had felt when she was filling out the form for Nobu-chan's birth certificate application and could not write his father's particulars. She didn't want to invite more questions, which led to her decision of leaving that section blank. She thought she was enough for her son, but it turned out… she wasn't. And then there were the inevitable questions from Nobu-chan. Why did he not have a father? Where was he? How did he even come to this world without a father? The questions Sakura could never answer, the questions she would always hedge around because, honestly, what could she say? How could she explain in a way that a young child's mind could grasp and not be even more confused? To those questions, all Sakura could answer was, "I love you." And she hoped it was enough. And to her answer, Nobu-chan, being the sweet boy that he was, would snuggle up to her without any more questions and whisper back, "I love you too, 'kaa-san." That was that, until the next time someone brought up this delicately complex topic about his father.

Tomoyo did not wait for a response. She was already making her way toward Syaoran, all steamed up with such stiffness in manner that she looked battle-ready. Just when Sakura realised what was happening, it was too late.

"I'm Daidouji Tomoyo."

A scalding stream of boiling water was about to pour all over her again, like it always did ever since he left.

What true strength? What character? Pain was the only bitter aroma from this affliction.

Tomoyo stood in front of him, hands on her hips, looked at him squarely, and tried a smile that did not happen.

"How can I… help you?" he said uncertainly, clearly taken aback by the sudden introduction and a presence that was a force to be reckoned with.

A spasm of irritation crossed Tomoyo's face as she let her narrowed eyes glide over the very man who had thrown her most precious friend into the ditches. He looked so refined, so dignified, so… guileless, it nettled her. She had never interacted directly with him, only heard of his frigid, detached personality, and his pedantic inclinations. Even then, she did not harbour any ill judgement towards him for she knew that words of outsiders were just words - they did not define a person's true nature. When Sakura started going out with him, the way she had described him was full of praises and sighs of contentment. She said nothing disparaging about him. And along with Tomoyo's hunch, Sakura's narrative of him assured her that Li Syaoran was someone who truly deserved her.

Although every vigilant instinct within her cried out to denounce him as someone worthy of her best friend, Tomoyo's heart whispered the truth - he was Sakura's home, her heaven. She wasn't exactly sure why she'd think that, but the light that shone in her eyes whenever she talked about him, the smile in her voice that could not wait to bloom on her lips, the ebullient energy she emitted that was hard to ignore, screamed that she was deeply, deeply in love. And she probably didn't know how deep she had fallen into his world.

Tomoyo planted herself down onto the chair, crossed one leg over the other and folded her arms in front of her chest. Unblinking, she pronounced, "Li Syaoran… san."

His eyebrows twitched in surprise. "You know me?"

Tomoyo snorted, "If I told you I did, would you believe me?"

"Well -"

"I don't know you personally. But my friend - my most important friend - does. And because she knows you so well it seems like I do kinda know you too."

"Sorry, I don't follow…"

"Look, Li-san, I don't know what happened between five years ago and now. But as Sakura's best friend, I need to say this -"

"Tomoyo-chan!" a voice hissed.

Tomoyo whipped around and was met with a pair of foreboding green eyes sharp with unspoken threat. Sakura was clutching a tray laden with a cup of ocha and a plate of lightly buttered brioche accompanied by a scatter of fruity gems. She was clutching it as if her life depended on it.

"Just the right time. Sakura-chan, tell him -"

"There's nothing to tell," Sakura interrupted, lifting the cup of tea and the plate where the golden brioche sat from the tray, then set them gently on the table in front of Syaoran, all the while avoiding eye contact. "The brioche was freshly baked yesterday. I hope you'll enjoy it with the tea," Sakura said, gripping the now emptied tray so tightly that her knuckles were starting to turn white.

"There's everything to tell," Tomoyo retorted, scraping back her chair as she rose to her feet, her eyes trained on Syaoran. There was an urgency in her voice, but circumscribed by her quiet, enduring patience she seemed to possess from the cradle.

Sakura needed to tell him, tell him, tell him. Tell him everything he needed to know. She hated seeing her best friend's heart getting ripped out over and over again. She hated seeing her best friend absorbing all the misery and the loneliness and the pain he had left behind. She hated seeing her best friend suffer in silence and pretend she was fine when she knew she wasn't. She wasn't the same anymore. Yes, she still maintained that familiar, sunny disposition everyone knew her for. Yes, she was still the considerate and affectionate girl that she was. Yes, she was still klutzy and apologetic and unworldly. But.

Something within her seemed to have dimmed. She laughed less, she worried more; fewer things could excite her, more things jaded her. She still smiled a lot, but she hurt even more. Her words grew fewer, but her tears became more frequent. In spite of it all, Sakura was more than what she was now. Dejection, disappointment, doubt - they stifled her. They snuffed out the exuberance that used to fuel her, motivate her, excite her. All that was left now was a sense of duty, to live each day at a time, choosing battles.

Tomoyo missed the Sakura she once knew. She wished more than anything in the world that she could somehow bring her best friend back.

Sakura made to leave for the counter, but the hand, the hand she longed so much to hold, the hand she could only dream of touching, wrapped around her wrist. She halted in her tracks. The gentle heat grazing her skin was so familiar it made her heart ache. She turned.

Amber locked onto emerald.

"Do we… know each other?" He looked so unsure, so vulnerable, like a lost child.

Again, Sakura did not know what to say. Again, a deluge of words yearned to break forth, but they remained trapped.

"What exactly happened?" Tomoyo blurted, diverting her gaze to Syaoran. "How did you… lose all your memories? Where have you been all these years?"

Syaoran released his grip on Sakura's wrist and muttered an apology, "Sorry, that was out of line." He traced the rim of the tea cup, as if wandering through the corridors of his mind.

"It - It's okay. We weren't exactly tactful. I -"

"When I woke up after being comatose for a week, my mind was a complete blank. I didn't remember my name, or who I was. I was told I was involved in an accident - a plane crash. And I somehow survived. It was a miracle, they said."

"They?" Tomoyo repeated, searching for clarity.

"My family," Syaoran answered, taking a sip of the ocha Sakura had prepared for him. There was a slight arch of his brows as he said, "This is good tea."

"It's from Uji," Sakura explained, but her thoughts were fixed on what he had just shared. He'd survived a fatal air disaster when she was desperately praying he would. And he did. But he'd woken up as cleaned out as a book with all its words erased. She wondered… what stories had he been fed with, such that he was what she was seeing now? Engaged, peculiarly different, his charmingly conceited manner given way to a fragility he had never shown before. With her, he'd let his guard down, given her his heart, bore his soul to her, but he was never fragile. What Sakura was seeing now was a boy unmoored, a man without his own compass. What exactly was he told?

As if reading her mind, Tomoyo continued to nudge for more, like how the former would when Nobuye came home sullen and unusually silent, "Did your family tell you anything else?"

Syaoran met her violet-flamed eyes for a moment before letting his gaze wander over the white streets outside the warmth of the pastry shop. "Not anything I couldn't find out for myself if I wanted to."

"What about Wang Zhenni?" Tomoyo inserted flatly.

Sakura winced at her friend's blunt, interrogative tone. She wasn't sure if they should be prying into his personal life. After all, he owed them nothing. He held no obligation to her. He didn't exactly promise her anything, truth be told. And even if he did, he was not bound to keep it. Everything could change in an instant. It was not shocking that terrible, unpleasant things could happen on quite ordinary days in this world and there was never any warning. Unexpected, sudden, like lightning on a clear day.

"She's someone I've pledged my life to," Syaoran answered plainly, as if Tomoyo's question was redundant.

"Really? Who told you that?" Tomoyo asked, her tone sharper.

Syaoran seemed floored by the question. He frowned as he said, "My family, of course."

"And you believed them?"

"Of course, they're my family." He chuckled. "I mean - who else can I trust?"

Sakura could sense Tomoyo's patience waning with each breath. She quickly cut in, "Tomoyo-chan, why don't you help me with -"

"No," Tomoyo protested, her steely resolve pinning her in place. "He needs to know."

"What do I need to know?" Syaoran asked. His chocolate eyes flitted between the two women in front of him, wavering between intrigue and hesitation.

Sakura attempted to pull her friend away but the words slipped out before she could move her even an inch.

"There's someone you're supposed to remember but you don't. You've forgotten every trace of her but you shouldn't. Even if every other memory in you has been erased, this memory with her must remain - even if you have to recreate it." The words came out cramped and somewhat clumsy but they held a glimmer of what he was supposed to know.

What was he supposed to know? Did it… even matter?

Sakura tugged at her friend's arm and pleaded, "Tomoyo-chan, please, just let it go."

But even if Tomoyo wanted to let it go, the other person in the room wouldn't. He lifted himself from the chair, and stood, such that his entire form towered over the two women opposite him. His palms lay flat on the table as he said, with a voice that held the room captive, "Who? Who is that person you just mentioned?"

Sakura stifled a yelp when she felt herself suddenly ushered towards him.

"She's the one. Sakura."

Sakura.

A sudden breath of wind whispered through him, quiet and fleeting.

Sakura.

A surge of warmth, unlike anything he had ever known, spread through his body like sunlight on snow.

Sakura.

A spectrum of pinks and whites bloomed within his mind without warning. Little flake-like fragments fluttered through the air, a light floral sweetness filled his senses, awakening a hope that felt strange, yet somehow comforting.

Sakura.

That word, that name, kindled a spark deep within him, though he couldn't put a finger to it. It was so strange. He had never felt anything like this before.

Sakura.

Sakura, Sakura, Sakura.

Syaoran didn't know what to feel - there was just too much. He had never felt this much before. At least, not since he regained consciousness after the accident. The mere mention of that word, that name, was so intense, it felt like his heart was being torn apart. What was it? Was it… heartache? He had listened to Zhenni talk about it, drawn from the romance novels she liked to spend her vacant hours poring over. He had found it all a maudlin effusion of sentiment. How she would tear up in the midst of reading had him mystified. He didn't understand why the characters in those novels would let their emotions eat them up and why they couldn't simply move on and get a life. Heartache - that was something he thought he would never understand. Until… now? Was this truly a glimmer of heartache - the kind he'd only ever heard Zhenni talk about - that he was feeling right now?

Before he could make sense of the feelings churning within him, he heard her let out a nervous laugh followed by a slew of words. "I, uh, didn't want to say this because of our history. You know, it wasn't exactly great. I mean - we were childhood friends, yes. But we kinda hated each other's guts but somehow we were friends. I mean - yeah, friends who always fought. So it wasn't worth mentioning. Telling you all this wouldn't make any difference, honestly. I don't get why Tomoyo-chan wanted you to know all this but I guess it's because she values friendships, even the not-so-good ones. I'm sorry I'm blabbering but yeah, we were friends or frenemies or whatever you call it but that's it."

Friends who hated each other's guts? Frenemies? Did that even make any sense at all?

"Sakura-chan! What're you saying?"

"Exactly what I've just said!"

"Look, Li-san, don't listen to -"

Syaoran raised a hand and said, "Let me get this straight." His gaze landed on Sakura who looked like she was drowning in her discomfiture. "We were childhood friends - with a fair bit of rivalry."

Her head bobbed earnestly. A little too earnestly, in his opinion.

A painful, drawn-out silence followed, as Syaoran's eyes remained fixed on her, unyielding. He stood stock-still, searching his heart for any trace of animosity towards the honey-haired, endearing girl standing before him. Wait. Endearing? Where did that come from? He felt heat creeping unbidden up his neck. According to her, they were hardly on cordial terms, so why was it that he only felt… a sense of fond familiarity towards her? Perhaps… perhaps he had not only forgotten about her, but also the feelings tied to her - whatever they might have been in the past? Good, bad, whichever. It didn't matter, did it? But why? Why did his heart feel like it was being tugged, like it was screaming for help, like it was caught in a jam?

Why was he experiencing the emotions from the romance novels he had once scorned? What was happening to him? It felt like someone had lit a torch inside him. He was burning like a furnace on the inside. But.

But it was cold outside. The space between them was like a deep dale, an unlit hearth, cold and bare. They used to be friends who hated each other. Wow, hate. That was a pretty savage word to use to describe their curious kind of friendship. As he studied every inch of her angled countenance, Syaoran could not imagine hating this girl. He just could not.

Perhaps losing all his memories was a good thing, because he didn't want to hate anyone. He didn't like the idea of him being mean or uncivil or cruel to anyone, especially to this girl who implied he probably did. Had he been a jerk to her?

For goodness' sake, he hoped he hadn't.

"Well, I guess we could start over," Syaoran ventured.

He sensed the almost imperceptible tightening of her stance. She looked at him diffidently. He felt his pulse quicken almost reflexively, like he had somehow lost control of himself. Why did he seem to be experiencing all the classic moments in a sappy romance novel in one morning? Trying to appear as indolent as he could and willing his pulse to slow down, Syaoran offered a smile and added, "As friends without the old rivalries." Then, he offered his hand.

Sakura regarded his hand hesitantly. After what seemed like an eternity, she took it, her fingers closing around it, light and tentative. A spark shot through him, every nerve in his body pricked and crackled to life. Just from a simple, innocent touch.

Syaoran was blazing. A riot erupted in his stomach. A clawing need, a restless, clawing need to pull her to him, pressed at him on all sides. Wait - where did that come from? Despite everything, he did nothing to pull away. He didn't let go of her hand. Instead, he tightened his grip, letting the electrifying heat of her skin permeate his own. A glimmer of… pink and green hues weaved and danced in front of him, as though beckoning his gaze to something unseen.

"Let's go to Fushigi again when I'm back."

That was his own voice he was hearing. Fushigi? That was the name of the island he had bought on a whim years back. He had heard about it from Wei. Till now, he hadn't set foot on that island yet. Who was he talking to? Who was he planning to bring there? He must have looked like he was in agony because a voice that made his heart inflate with every longing in the world obliterated the silence, "Are you okay?"

Syaoran lifted his face to meet those hypnotic verdant pools. He felt himself drawn into the orbit of her soul. Was it her? Was it her he was planning to bring to Fushigi? Was it? But they didn't get along so why would he suggest that to someone he didn't like? It didn't make sense. None of what was happening here in this shop did. A brief interaction with this girl whose hand was still in his seemed to have flipped everything he knew. Like a pancake tossed out of the pan.

"Syaoran-kun?" Her voice was now filled with worry. Her eyes brimmed with a tenderness he had never seen in anyone before her. Not even Zhenni, the woman he was going to marry.

It was so strange to the point of being ridiculous that the very sight of her, the very sound of her voice, kept tugging at the threads of his heart. The very presence of her kept pulling, pulling, pulling at it, until it felt like it was on the verge of being yanked out of his ribcage. He could not take it anymore. He needed to leave. He knew he had to. If not, he didn't know what regrettable, odious deeds he might end up doing. Before he could change his mind, Syaoran let go of her hand and let his own find its rightful place at his side. He gave an apologetic smile and said, "I'm sorry. I was - never mind." Noticing her worried expression, he quickly added, "Don't worry, I'm fine. I, uh, I guess I'll come back for the croissants another day. I just remembered - I need to be somewhere else right about now."

Syaoran cringed inwardly at his paltry excuse, which was far from the truth. Truth was - he had felt this small glimmer of something, which definitely was not hate or spite or even juvenile annoyance, just being in her presence, especially after they'd made contact. It was something he couldn't name, didn't want to name, because, because he knew deep in the recesses of his soul that he couldn't. And for what reason? He couldn't explain it, except it just felt like he was programmed this way, that he was not to chase what lay too deep within the heart, the soul.

That if he did, there would be a price to pay.

After spurning his offer to pay for the tea and brioche, and watching him leave the pastry shop, Sakura headed to the back of the counter and retrieved the vacuum cleaner. Wordlessly, she began hoovering the shop. Tomoyo helped to bring the cup of unfinished tea and the plate of untouched brioche to the sink. Rolling up her sleeves, she began washing the dishes. As she pumped some dish soap onto the sponge, she said in a tone mixed with amusement and disbelief, "Childhood friends who hated each other, huh? I can't believe you actually said that. How did you even think of that?"

Shifting the chairs aside so the vacuum could reach the tricky corners under the table she was at, Sakura answered, "Honestly, I don't know. That was the only thing I could think of at that moment." Then, she turned off the vacuum and straightened up. "Tomoyo-chan, you really caught me off guard just now. I didn't know how to react."

"You just had to follow my lead. I knew what I was doing," Tomoyo explained, as she rinsed the soap off the cup.

"Did you?" Sakura doubted, one hand on her hip.

"Of course, Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo answered without thinking. As she soaped up the plate, she spoke again, her voice dipping a notch, "Actually, I was driven by indignation. I knew you didn't want me to approach him and say all that I just did, but I just wanted you to be happy, Sakura-chan. I really do. I'm sorry if I overstepped."

Setting the vacuum cleaner down, Sakura walked over to her most important friend in the world and gave her a hug. "It's okay, Tomoyo-chan. I understand where you were coming from. I don't blame you. Thank you. Thank you for always having my back."

Tomoyo patted Sakura's back and said, "It's what friends do."

The two friends stepped back, grinning at each other.

"You know what, Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo began, smiling archly.

Crossing the shop to the space she was cleaning earlier on, Sakura picked up the vacuum and switched it on. "I'm listening, go on," she said, bending down to reach the tricky corners. Those areas were the hardest to clean.

"I've a hunch that Li-kun hasn't completely forgotten about you," Tomoyo remarked, a grin splitting her face.

Sakura uncurled from her crouched position and turned to face her friend. "What do you mean?"

"I saw the way he looked at you… and how he held on to your hand. He knows." Tomoyo's eyes shimmered, as if lost in her own reverie.

Sakura dropped her gaze to the vacuum, suddenly finding it a fount of fascination. Drawing mindless circles around the machine, she mumbled, "But he still left."

After carefully laying the washed dishes on the drying rack, Tomoyo walked over to her friend and took her hands in hers. "Yes, but something tells me he'll be back."

A glimmer of hope flickered in Sakura's heart. But it was what it was - a glimmer, nothing more.

"Don't get my hopes up, Tomoyo-chan."

"Listen to yourself - what happened to the 'nothing-is-impossible' girl I've known since elementary school?" Tomoyo chided through her gentle smile.

"Sometimes it's just so hard to believe, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura sighed wistfully.

Giving her hands a reassuring squeeze, Tomoyo said, "I know, Sakura-chan. But isn't it better than living in despair? Hope is what breathes life into us. Isn't it? And besides, I truly believe this whole encounter isn't by chance. God heard your prayers, and He's answering them - in His own way."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Then what should I do now?"

"Wait, and don't lose hope. Even if it's just the tiniest glimmer."

Sometimes, all it takes is a single glimmer to keep us going, until we reach the end of the tunnel, until sunlight breaks through the dark clouds, until spring comes again.

"Hear this?" The auburn-haired doctor turned a knob on the ultrasound machine and a sound unheard of in all of Sakura's life filled the entire room.

Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub.

"This is the sound of your little pea's heartbeat."

The rhythmic thump was soft, but full of life. How was it possible that a mere cluster of cells could create such miraculous harmony? Sakura listened, listened to her unborn baby's heartbeat, beating so zealously, so beautifully. It was a sound of joy, a symphony of life. Life - it was a fascinating entanglement of wonder and profound complexities.

After a few drags and clicks on the ultrasound console to measure the baby's size, the doctor said in her lilting voice, "You're about eight weeks pregnant, dear. Congratulations." Putting away the probe, she cleaned the cold gel on Sakura's tummy and gently pulled her to a sitting position. "How're you feeling?" Her kind brown eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled.

"I can't believe something so small could produce such a robust heartbeat," Sakura replied as she easer herself off the examination table, smoothing down her dress. Her baby bump was still barely visible but she had started wearing flared dresses because her jeans and shorts were getting inevitably tight around her waist. At this stage, she would definitely not be able to fit into her cheerleading uniform. The thought brought a fleeting sadness, a reminder that she was leaving a huge part of her life behind. Cheerleading had been the crux of her life, and now, she knew she had no choice but to give it up.

"It's amazing, isn't it? I had some mothers who cried when they heard their baby's heartbeat for the first time," Dr Tanaka shared as she resumed her place in the black swivel chair. "Come, dear, sit." She gestured to the black upholstered chair across from her.

After slipping back into her latte beige ballerina flats, Sakura moved to the chair offered by Dr Tanaka and sat down.

"This is your first pregnancy, am I right?"

"Yes."

"Have you been experiencing any morning sickness or any kind of discomfort?"

Sakura wrinkled her nose as she spoke, reminded of the lingering tightness in her chest that would come right about noon time, "I don't quite understand why people call it 'morning sickness'. Strangely, I feel fine when I wake up. But as the day progresses, the nausea intensifies. When it comes to dinner time, I can't stomach almost anything. When I do, I'd just throw up everything."

Dr Tanaka smiled sympathetically. "It must be tough. When I was pregnant with my first child, I remembered not being able to eat anything except lemons and tomatoes. I'd hurl like a busted fire hydrant. And I was practically glued to the bed all day."

"Yes! I used to have loads of energy, but lately, I find myself dozing off even before noon."

"It's a typical symptom of early pregnancy. It'll get better," Dr Tanaka assured. "I'll prescribe you some folic acid and progesterone pills to take for the rest of your first trimester. I'll see you again in about a month's time," she said, as she tapped away on her keyboard.

"Thank you, Dr Tanaka," Sakura said, rising to her feet and giving a small bow.

"You're most welcome, dear. Take good care of yourself, alright?"

"Hai!"

Sakura pushed the door open and was once again greeted by women who were waiting to see Dr Tanaka. Almost all of them were accompanied by the fathers. Her gaze lingered on them, filled with quiet sorrow. She wished Syaoran was by her side; she wished he was with her when Dr Tanaka unveiled their baby's heartbeat from the ultrasound machine; she wished she didn't have to wish for such wishes because he should have been here with her. Should have been. How these three words cast a deeper shadow over her heart, unravelling her painstaking efforts to keep from drowning in the ubiquitous images of him in her mind's eye, in herself. In the quiet of the night when everyone was fast asleep, when all was still, Sakura wondered how deep a heart could break before it finally shattered. Because every day was a silent war of pushing and pulling and burying and lifting, so much that she felt the threads wearing thin and fraying and on the verge of snapping. Funnily enough, these thoughts had a soporific effect on her, becoming a kind of lullaby that sang her to sleep every night.

After collecting her prescriptions, Sakura stepped out of the clinic and saw Hideki scrolling through his phone just outside. When he saw her, he looked up and gave her his widest grin. Tucking his phone away in his jeans pocket, he asked, "How was the visit?"

"Doctor said I'm eight weeks along. Baby seems to be growing well," Sakura answered, holding out the sonogram for Hideki to see.

His eyes rounded like two saucers as he breathed, "Wow, that's… that's unbelievable."

Sakura chuckled. "I know, right. Life is truly a miracle."

"And you're carrying one inside you," Hideki said, beaming from ear to ear.

"Yeah," Sakura said, placing a palm on her belly, as if trying to confirm it was real.

And it was. It was.

It was more real than reality itself.

It was a glimmer of a miracle. It was a bridge running from her heart to him. It was the only remaining part of Syaoran she could still hold onto.

SummerSensations: Thank you for reading till the end! ^^

Chapter Text

Chapter 14: Run

How much longer was he going to run? He was so tired, exhausted, drained of every ounce of energy. But he had to keep running. He couldn’t stop. At this point, there was only one option left - run. 

Run, Eriol Hiiragizawa, run. 

His feet were planted to the carpeted floor of his hotel room, as his eyes fixed on the glittering city lights of London. Yet, he saw nothing, except the searing flare that had burnt itself into his memory since that fateful day. He closed his eyes, but instead of a darkness steeped in silence, he saw what he didn’t want to see, heard what he didn’t want to hear. It was a recurring turmoil that clawed at him incessantly, relentlessly, so tormenting it threw him into a state of asphyxiation in every aspect of his being. It drove him to run, run, run, as far as the world would let him. 

In the span of five years, he’d left his mark on every continent except, well, Antarctica, which was hardly habitable. Every city and every countryside he’d been to gave him a temporary respite, but it was usually as short-lived as the peace within him. Once he felt the agony creeping back into him, it was his signal to flee, to run.  

Run, Eriol Hiiragizawa, run.

Then, he would find himself in another city, or perhaps yet another unfamiliar countryside, where he would plant himself until it was time to move, to run, again.

People might call him a coward, a spineless namby-pamby, a pitiful weakling, a craven chicken - every label he deserved for the nothing he had done, but even the most derogatory names could not stop him from running. 

So Eriol Hiiragizawa kept running, even though all he wanted to do was to stay, and just breathe. 

But he could not face himself, those he cared about, the losses he had to endure. He was a coward. He really was. 

He did nothing but watched as his benefactor breathed his last, even though he had all the power to heal, to revive. He had it all in him. All. But he chose not to. Why? Because he was scared. Eriol Hiiragizawa, the prodigy of magic descended from a line renowned for its extraordinary powers, was scared. 

All it took was one mistake, one calamitous misjudgment, that one misstep that cost the life of his parents. It was a single mistake that changed everything - everything that mattered to him, that was him, that tethered him to this world. It all crumbled in an instant so cruel it carved an unerasable shadow upon his soul. Whenever the memory visited him, a chill of fear would creep up his spine, scorching and numbing all at the same time. His powers, even at a young age, eclipsed those of the very ones who had given him life. So boundless was his power that, unbeknownst to him then, it destroyed as easily as it breathed. 

He was finessing his skills and abilities on a bright spring day in the cavernous basement hidden below his home under the watchful presence of both his parents. They would give him tips and help him refine his craft at every practice. And that day was no different from all the sessions before, until his father, Hiiragizawa Takumi, suggested that he attempt the healing power on him. Fear crept up Eriol’s spine like a warm cat as Takumi whipped out a short, gleaming dagger from behind his trousers. Before anyone could react, the older man raised the blade, holding it inches above his abdomen, and with grim resolve thrust it deep into his flesh. Hiiragizawa Takumi doubled over, his body folding in on itself like a broken hinge. 

“Father!” 

A sharp scream had torn from Eriol’s throat, raw with heart-stopping disbelief. He had lunged towards his father’s side and held him by his shoulders. 

“Why did you do that?”

He had been angry, scared, flabbergasted. He remembered how his breath had caught in his throat as he saw crimson staining his father's white shirt. He had been so panicked that he didn't know what to do.

“Use your powers, Eriol!” Takumi had choked out. “What're you waiting for?”

In that vivid memory, Eriol saw his mother's expression - calm, like a slow-moving, placid river. She did not move an inch, did not even flinch. She just watched. She nodded at him, as if saying, “Go on, do what you need to.”

In that haunting, uninvited memory, Eriol saw himself crouched next to his paling father, hands shaky, hovering over the blood stain on his shirt. Scarlet against pure white. The baneful smear stared at him mockingly, menacingly. Eriol steadied his hand, eyelids clamped shut, and summoned every ounce of focus he so desperately needed. 

In that dusky, ghost-like memory, Eriol saw a brilliant blend of green and white light flowing from his hand, engulfing the obscene stain. He watched in amazement as the blotch of red got hoovered up by the miraculous radiance. His father’s expression lightened, his breathing more even. Eriol withdrew his hand, expecting the light to fade - but.

Eriol had to grip the desk next to him as the greens and whites flooded every corner of his perception. They kept coming, coming, unstoppable and consuming. It was so overwhelming he could do nothing but give in, letting the sheer weight of the memory crush him for the umpteenth time. 

In that dark gravity of the thick, unyielding memory, he remembered painfully how a burning surge of energy had pulsed through him. It struck him so suddenly that he was paralysed from head to toe. The greens and whites continued to cascade from his palm like a roaring waterfall. They rushed out in violent gushes - green, white, white, green, then both - while his father writhed and hollered under the monstrous radiance of blazing lights. Eriol tried to pull his hand away, tried to ball it up, but he couldn’t. The powers kept pouring out in relentless waves, waves after waves after waves. Without warning, they went berserk, striking out in every direction all at once. The chandelier above came crashing down, the cabinets exploded into smithereens, the walls were torn asunder. “Stop! Stop! Stop!” Eriol screamed. But strong waves of energy kept gushing out of his skin - fierce and inexorable and ruthless. They didn’t stop until Takumi stopped struggling. Until he stopped breathing. 

Hiiragizawa Takumi was gone. Just like that. 

So was his wife. So was Eriol’s beloved mother. 

It had turned out that the spell gone awry had struck her squarely in her chest, stealing her life in a heartbeat. Everything was gone. Gone. 

That day was when Eriol’s world collapsed. In a single cruel instant, because of some uncontrollable blunder, he lost the two people who meant everything to him - his parents. In a heartbeat and it was all gone. Hearts had stopped. No more beating.

No more magic - Eriol had sworn to himself. It was a curse, a spectre of tragedy, a source of never-ending catastrophe. 

That was how he had fallen so easily into Wang Shiren’s dastardly plans. That wretched man had found him in the village of Piedmont when he was all alone. He taunted him, humiliated him, manipulated him into giving up his powers to him. Wang Shiren was a merciless exploiter of human frailty.

A murderer of some sort, aren’t you? You don’t think so? Then how did your parents die? Why did Li Tian not survive? Aren’t you a cold, selfish person? You withheld your powers to protect yourself, didn’t you? If you had wielded them, your benefactor would have lived, wouldn’t he? A murderer doesn’t deserve such great powers, Eriol. Give them to someone who truly does. Come on, you know it deep down - you’ll never be the great magician your parents thought you could be.  

Wang Shiren had been feasting on his fears, his insecurities, his doubts as countless as the stars above. His voice had been low and hushed, but dripped with so much malice that it froze him to the core. A slim glass bottle, cold as ice, touched his hand. 

“You’re doing humanity a good deed,” Wang Shiren had egged him on, an ugly smirk smeared on his face.

Eriol despised this man with every fibre of his being. But he was right, and mercilessly so. Like a tree withered by drought, he surrendered. His eyes drifted shut, and with each breath, he let his magic stream into the waiting vials Wang Shiren held eagerly in his hands, one after another. Blue, purple, deep ocean, sparkling amethyst - they left him slowly but surely. 

“That’s m’boy.” Wang Shiren patted Eriol heartily on the back as he carefully sealed the vials and hid them in his ridiculously large coat. 

Bare, emptied, gone. 

Carrying the cavernous void that stretched through him, he could only run until… he didn’t know. He was a being on autopilot. He was a being who had let everyone down. His parents, his uncle, and now, Syaoran, his cousin whom he had grown up with. He knew what Wang Shiren would do with the magic he had taken from him, but he still let it happen. Like a bystander, he could only witness tragedy unfold in the family. And he hated himself for that. He hated himself for being the powerless human being that he was. 

With everything that had transpired, Eriol was so consumed by his own guilt and remorse that he had become a recluse incapable of any social interaction. More like he chose not to. Being in the presence of living things of his own kind made him anxious, jittery. It reminded him of how incapable, how incapacitated, how disqualified he was. 

When Syaoran went missing, he knew very well what had happened to him. When Wang Shiren siphoned his magic away, it wasn't only the healing powers he took but also the ability to manipulate human memory. Eriol’s knowledge of how inherently despicable the man was and how desperate he was to marry his daughter into the Li family so that his own could be even more influential and powerful told him he must have used it to obliterate Syaoran’s memory for his own nefarious gain. Wang Shiren’s malevolence disgusted him but. 

But there was nothing he could do. 

He knew Syaoran was caged within the clutches of the Wang Clan, having no clue what they’d done, having not the slightest idea of what they’d stolen from him. His memories, his life, his love. That was the most tragic of all, in Eriol’s opinion. He knew Syaoran had planned to propose to her on Christmas Eve. He knew his quills-covered cousin loved her so deeply that forever could not start soon enough. He knew she was the perfect fit for him. But what he didn’t know was how easily swayed he could be when it came to his past. The guilt, the remorse, the regrets - they were too much for him to bear. So much that they wrung every shred of rational thought from him. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. 

Never in all his life had he felt like screaming and thrashing about until this moment, not even when he saw his parents perish with his own eyes. He wanted to, but he could not. His vocal chords were so choked up with so much pain they could no longer make any sound. 

Staring at the head crowned in navy blue, the eyes ringed with midnight shadows, the face pale and sunken with despair reflected in the window, Eriol heaved a sigh so deep it seemed dredged from the bowels of his soul. He closed his eyes against the sky dashed with stars, the moon riding through the clouds. A tear rolled down his cold cheek, then another, and another. Tears of helplessness. 

Because there was nothing he could do. 

There was no way forward for him.

He could only run.

Run, Eriol Hiiragizawa, run.

Or stand on the sidelines like the ghost of a life that didn’t exist anymore. 

Eriol Hiiragizawa - didn’t exist anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~

He wasn’t sure how he ended up walking down this path that led to the pastry shop. He stuffed his hands inside his jacket pockets as he trudged through the snow-laden walkway. The air was bitingly cold. Snowflakes drifted lazily from the sky, turning the night into a dream of icy, argent glow. The dazzling whiteness of winter's confetti was a light in the night. It lit up the darkness, just like how her voice, her presence spilled radiance across the shadows. Ever since that morning of an enigmatic story unfolding unexpectedly, Syaoran couldn't stop thinking about what the raven-haired lady had told him. He had been trying to wrap his head around the labyrinth of new information that was practically shoved into his brain, and the only thing that made sense was… well, he couldn't quite put a finger to it. Because it shouldn't. It shouldn't at all. But.

He couldn't stop thinking about her - the girl with shoulder-length light brown tresses, with eyes that were two sparkling green gems, with a presence that felt like… home. 

Home. Ah, was this how home was supposed to feel like? Familiar, warm despite the coldness outside, secure. Feelings absent even among his closest kin, those who claimed to care about him, who had been a vital part of his life. But the funny thing was - he never once felt like he did with the girl he'd forgotten. Family, to him, was a matter of duty, of treading carefully so as not to step on one another's toes. And that was the norm - his norm - for as long as he could remember.

A lone, crouching figure outside the pastry shop caught his eyes. He ended up there after all. He moved towards the silhouette with measured steps, and he felt it - that tender, wistful warmth that awoke a quiet ache in his chest. She rocked back and forth on her heels, her arms folded around her knees, her head bent over them. 

Before Syaoran could evaluate his decision, he said, “Hey.”

She tilted her head up, squinting against the bright street lamp above her. She looked at him long and hard. Then, a smile played at her lips. An unbridled one. A smile so luminous it made the street lamps seem dim in comparison. A smile so dazzling it made his heart lurch. Dangerous. Maybe he should just pretend he took the wrong turn and take off without another word. 

“Syaoran-kun,” she uttered with a long breath that sounded like relief or disbelief. Whichever it was, she looked undeniably happy to see him. 

Did rivals behave like that towards each other?

She rose slowly from her feet, wobbling on unsteady legs, looking like she was fighting gravity. Her hands grasped at the air for balance as she lifted herself up. She swayed a little as she tried to ground herself, and almost stumbled backwards if Syaoran had not caught her arm in time. 

She giggled. 

She looked him in the eye.

Her girlish playfulness was gone from her features in a heartbeat, replaced with a yearning so deep it cut. 

It cut through his soul. 

Before Syaoran knew what was happening, she lunged into his arms, clutching him so tightly he couldn’t breathe. His heart went into a wild, frantic flutter.

“I missed you, Syaoran-kun. I missed you so much. Where’ve you been all this while? I’ve been waiting for you to come back - to come back to us.” Her voice teetered on the edge of a tremble. The words sounded so thick and heavy it made his heart sink. 

Then, a faint trace of alcohol reached him. Was she drunk? But the words that spilled from her lips carried such raw emotions anyone was sure they were far more than the careless slur of intoxication. The air felt thinner all of a sudden, as Syaoran let the words slowly settle over him like sediment. He stretched his memory, trying to make sense of it all, trying to retrieve even just a fragment of what they had once shared. But like every other time he tried to recall what his life was like before the accident, he came up empty. It was infuriating, really. But fury wouldn’t bring his memories back. 

What would then? Why was he even so bent on getting them back? What good would it do, anyway? Every aspect of his life was pretty much set in stone. There was no turning back. But. 

There was always a persistent, gnawing sense that there was something - someone - he was meant to remember. Yet it was always a blank space, no matter how many times he turned his mind over, inside out, and back again. There was only ever a void that could never be filled. 

As she grabbed a fistful of his jacket, he stood hushed and unmoving. Syaoran didn’t know how to react, or perhaps… he didn’t want to. He couldn’t, not when the situation was as muddled as his past dissolved into mist. He tried to back away, but her grip was adamantly strong. Then, Syaoran heard a sniffle, then another. With a curious tilt of his head, he watched her melt into a puddle of tears. Instinctively, his hands moved up from his sides but they stopped mid-air, as though unsure what to do with themselves. 

Despite his best efforts to keep calm, the sound of her sobs unsettled him. More than unsettled him. It was panic, a panic like a live wire electrifying his whole body. His heart practically gave out from the intense sensation he had never felt before. Why was it that she had such an unravelling effect on him? Zhenni had cried many times before but never once had he felt the way he did in this moment. It was… it was unnerving, to say the least. 

“You… are you - are you alright?” Syaoran managed to say amidst the fiery rush running wild through his veins. 

She offered no response, and only held him tighter, like she was afraid he would vanish into thin air if she let go. 

Out of nowhere, a soft pink glow from realms unseen radiated through his chest. It was a heat so gentle it left him in awe. It kindled something within him, like embers stirred gently into a glowing flame. Like a bolt from the blue, the image of the exact same girl whose body was buried against his flashed across his mind. 

They came in snippets, in flashes, in fragments. 

Then, a sketch of a ring burst into view in his mind’s eye. That was when he noticed something shimmering around her neck. A faint pink luminescence radiated from her sweater. A wild exhilaration pulsed through him, making every nerve quiver involuntarily. He knew it was against decorum, but he reached for her neck and drew out the shimmering object.

The ring caught the light of the street lamp in all its incandescent brilliance. Just like how he had wanted it to be when he went to Nario Carvani to get the proposal ring crafted. Because Kinomoto Sakura embodied all the brilliance the world could hold, and she was worthy of nothing less than that. 

But he had forgotten about her, about the ring, about everything. Until this present moment.

Until now.

Fragments of her arresting smile, her radiant face, her lulling voice, her shimmering eyes - one by one breaking through the fog of his mind.

How could he have forgotten about her? How could he have forgotten about the girl he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with? How could he? How could he?

Instinct took over, and he pulled her into his embrace, every motion familiar and urgent. For a brief moment, they were the only people in the entire world. There was no before or after, only now. He could not believe he had let her become a ghost in his memory. He heard her exhale as she softened her hold on him; his arms around her were like a promise she’d never be left forlorn again.

Every forgotten fragment of his past came crashing back to him like a relentless tidal wave. Fury seeped into his skin as the disturbing image of Wang Shiren’s sinister sneer crept into his mind. He was the one. He was the one who stole his memories from him, manipulated him such that he was left unguarded. Everything was so screwed up because of his heinous act. His body was flooded with so much rancour it burned. 

It was as if Syaoran had woken up from an endless slumber of a stranger’s dreams. And as he felt every hush of gentle heat seeping from Sakura’s ragdoll body, he breathed out slowly, savouring the very essence of her presence in his arms. Then a sobering realisation hit him like a brick: his presence in her life meant danger - not just for her, but for everyone she held dear.

But he was Li Syaoran. He was going to make things work. He would not give in without a fight. He would protect them all. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

Syaoran spun around, an arm still around Sakura as he tried to steady her woozy frame. A tall, tawny-haired guy was glaring at him with eyes that could kill. A riot of roses spilled from a light pink, patterned wrapping paper in his hand, while a meticulously wrapped box sat snugly in the other. 

“I'm sorry?” 

Seriously. What's his deal? 

“Who are you?” Tall Guy with Brown Hair demanded, his eyebrows furrowed dangerously, his knuckles turning white around the ridiculously huge bouquet. 

“Do I need to answer that?” Syaoran answered, his voice as calm as the river, his hands still wrapped around Sakura, possessively. 

“I’m afraid you do, because Sakura’s not yours to hold - not like this,” Tall Guy with Brown Hair seethed, his eyes raking over him, cold and deliberate. 

Sakura. He knew her. And from the way he glared at Syaoran, it was clear he knew her more than Syaoran would have liked.

As if light had pierced through a pall of thick mist, understanding slowly dawned in Tall Guy with Brown Hair’s eyes. “You are… Li Fuutie’s brother, Li Syaoran,” he stated, a little uncertainly. 

Syaoran’s eyebrows ticked upwards, his composure slipped for a beat, not expecting to be recognised by a complete stranger. Shooting Tall Guy with Brown Hair a calculating look, Syaoran asked, “How do you know my sister?”

Shrugging, Tall Guy with Brown Hair replied, “She knew me first.”

Eyes turning into slits, Syaoran pressed, “How?”

“I know - twisted, right? You can ask her yourself. Now, can you let go of Sakura?” It sure did not sound like a request but a command. 

Feeling affronted, Syaoran tightened his grip on Sakura as if in defiance. “She’s tipsy. I’ll bring her in.”

Not waiting for any kind of permission which was obviously not necessary, Syaoran scooped Sakura into his arms and started towards the entrance of Shin no Hana. 

“Have you no regard to what I just said?” Tall Guy with Brown Hair retorted, snatching Syaoran’s arm, stopping him in his tracks. “You have no right.”

“No right to what?” Syaoran snapped, his eyes flashing ominously. 

“Where’ve you been all these years? Huh?” 

His hold was as unyielding as iron - so were his words. 

“Who are you?” Syaoran questioned, pinning the guy with a gaze that could cut through glass.

He released his grasp on his arm and tilted his head haughtily, fixing Syaoran with a cold stare. “Kimura Hideki.”

Kimura… Hideki… It struck a chord, vaguely so. Syaoran’s head throbbed as he tried to unearth more memories buried deep in the soil of his forgotten past. Kimura Hideki… Kimura Hideki… the name was oddly familiar but he could not quite attach a memory to it. 

“He used to play for the national team, but now he’s training in the States…”

That was… Wei’s voice. What was that about? National team… the States… who used to play for the national team? Why was Wei giving him that piece of information? 

Then he felt his hand jerked away from her shoulder. Sakura, with her beautiful, bright green eyes, stared vacantly at him. “Who’re you?” she slurred. 

Syaoran blinked once, then twice. “It’s me - Syaoran.” Uncertainly, he tried to take her hand but she wrenched it away. 

Her eyes darkened for a moment. “It’s another dream,” she mumbled, her eyes downcast. She seemed adrift in sorrow, looking as if she had gone into a shell, and his heart followed her into the darkness. Without saying another word, she turned and disappeared into the shop, leaving him standing in the cold. 

“Sakura! Wait!” Syaoran called. He sprang forward, reaching for her arm, only to find himself intercepted by Kimura Hideki. His tall frame stood like a wall between him and Sakura. It was starting to grate on his nerves. 

“Leave her be. It’s not like she’s going to disappear,” Hideki said evenly. “She’s been waiting for you all these years. What happened?” he asked, his tone carrying no accusation, only genuine curiosity. 

Syaoran wasn’t sure what to make of this man who, to his deep shame, stirred a sense of threat within him. But like the gentleman he was raised to be, Syaoran replied, but grudgingly, “It’s a long story.” 

Hideki shrugged. “I think she deserves to hear it, even if it’s going to take years for you to explain,” he said, tilting his head towards the shop where Sakura had retreated to. Lips pressed as if weighing a thought, he went on, “Actually, I think I should hear it too, seeing how I’ve been your sub for the last five years.” A shadow of a smirk flickered across his face, while his eyes glimmered with a sadness Syaoran could not quite name. 

Sub? Was this some new lingo he’d lost track of?

“What do you mean you’ve been my sub?”

A low chuckle escaped Hideki. Shaking his head, he said, “How ancient are you, man?”

Syaoran frowned. All his life he had spoken with a refined tongue, untouched by modern slang. He was definitely not ancient. He was just… being himself. 

Hideki rearranged his face, the trace of amusement vanishing into solemnity. He exhaled audibly. “Your sister approached me after hearing about your disappearance.”

A look of displeasure crossed Syaoran’s face. “Why would she do that?”

“Sakura might not have told you about our history - we were together for a couple of years.”

National team… training in the States… basketball… that’s right! Driven by curiosity, he had enlisted Wei’s help to conduct a background check on the man who had broken Sakura’s heart. He was curious to know what kind of man she had given her heart to. He wanted to know - no - he needed to know who this man was who had first held her affection. Kimura Hideki - yes, he remembered now. With this dawning realisation, he was overcome by a sudden, overwhelming jealousy. So Kimura Hideki - Sakura’s ex-beau - had been hanging around her all these years? What was dajie thinking?

“Apparently, Fuutie-san believes I’m your best substitute while you’re gone. So,” Hideki said plainly, lifting his shoulders in indifference, “here I am.”

Brows knitting in scepticism, Syaoran asked, “And you’re okay with that?” What man with any pride would accept such a request? Did he have some sort of hidden agenda?

Again, a shrug of nonchalance. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.” A slight pause. “I don’t like the idea of knowing she’s out somewhere all by herself in that state she was in, especially not when…” He trailed off, like he was afraid of saying too much. 

Guilt gnawed at Syaoran from the inside as he pictured how Sakura might have reacted when she found out he was gone, that he was never coming back, that the promises he made would never be realised. Who could come to terms with such abrupt disappearance, stripped of all rhyme or reason? He had to make amends, pronto. 

But Wang Shiren’s threats, his obligations, and all the misalignments of fate, made him falter. He’d just but suddenly regained his memories. He wasn’t certain what impact it would have on his circumstances. But one thing he knew for sure was that Wang Shiren and his clan would not let him go. It was a colossal mess he had to face and fix, one that would keep him from Sakura for a good measure of time. Time. Yes, he needed time to put things back to their places, even if it meant hell. 

“What’s your plan?” Hideki piped. 

Syaoran cast a glance at the entrance of Shin no Hana, fantasising squeezing every breath out of Sakura and telling her how much he’d missed her too and how sorry he was for allowing himself to succumb to the claws of the Wangs. But doing that would be like skydiving without a parachute. As the reality of his situation would have it, the fantasy trailed off like smoke, leaving him dejected and despaired and pining for more. 

“Keep this a secret. For now,” Syaoran said quietly, almost conspiratorially. 

Hideki’s brows furrowed. “But why?”

“It’s all very complicated. But I promise I’ll take care of it and come back for her,” Syaoran said, his words carrying unflappable resolve.

“Let me guess… you don’t know how long it’s going to take,” Hideki surmised.

“I won’t try to counter that,” Syaoran admitted. 

“Alright, so I’ll continue to sub for you till only God knows when,” quipped Hideki, transferring the bouquet to his other hand, so he could extend the freed one out to ask, “Here, give me your phone - I'll put my number in, just in case.”

Syaoran glanced at Hideki briefly, as if gauging his intent. He decided there was no harm in doing so. Something in him told him he could trust this stranger, despite the green fire burning under his skin. He handed Hideki his phone, eyes following as the latter keyed in his number. 

“If there’s anything you wanna… you know… find out or whatever, you know how to reach me,” Hideki offered as he passed the phone back to Syaoran. 

“Thanks,” Syaoran muttered as he slipped it into his jeans pocket. It was time to go. He had no more business lingering outside the shop. But for some reason, his feet wouldn’t budge. His eyes kept sweeping towards the window, trying to catch one more glimpse of Sakura. 

Just one more. 

How mysterious, and yet how fascinating this thing called fate is. Just a few moments ago, he was perambulating the streets of Tomoeda and had found himself gravitating towards Sakura’s pastry shop. He didn’t know what it was, except that there was an invisible force pulling him towards it. And true to the tropes of a love drama, where fate unfailingly favours the main characters, he spotted her right outside the shop. He did not recognise her then, yet something in him was drawn to her, as though he had stepped into a magnetic field. And when her eyes locked onto his, he swore his heart almost gave out. They wrapped around him like a spell. Her eyes were like the colour of spring leaves - so full of life even in her inebriated state.  

There was something sublime in the stillness of that moment, something he could not quite explain. It was as though the world around him had turned ethereal. It felt like… heaven. A soothing wind whispered over his skin, quietening his racing heart. His racing heart… When was the last time his heart had felt so… alive? When those tears fell, the ache in his heart was so fierce it felt like the world was tipping upside down. How much pain must she have gone through to tear up like that? Syaoran wished he could erase it all. He could not turn back time but he could still make things right. He must, he must. 

“Just so you know,” Hideki started, meeting Syaoran’s gaze directly. “You have a son.”

You have a son. Out of his mouth like it weighed nothing. Weightless as an elephant drifting through the cosmos. You have a son.  

Son. 

The wintry air caught in his throat as the words sank in. He stood looking at Hideki, disbelieving. “I’m sorry?” was all Syaoran could utter at the piece of cataclysmic news. 

“Kinomoto Nobuye. He just turned five in April,” Hideki answered. Then, with another shrug, he added, “Thought you’d like to know.”

Kinomoto Nobuye. Five. Son. His son. 

He remembered now - the quiet hours before dawn. 

He remembered now - the traces of touch, the gentle caresses, the lingering feel of her soft hands. 

He remembered now - the sighs, the kisses, the hesitations. 

I love you.

The sacred moment when two souls melded into one. He remembered now. Their love, though brief in time, was already sealed. It ran deep, deeper than any bond he’d ever had with anyone in his life. Sakura was his fate, his life, his everything. How did he even live those years without her? How could he ever forget her? And now, how could he not have known he had a son - his own son, for heaven’s sake?

We’ve been waiting for you to come back - to come back to us.

Us. 

It took every ounce of determination to stop himself from running into the shop and pulling Sakura into an embrace so tight her entire being would be imprinted into him so she would never slip away. Channelling his urge to throw caution to the wind away from himself, Syaoran focused his gaze on Hideki, opened his mouth but clamped it shut again. What should he say to him? Thanks? He shouldn’t have? He didn’t have to do whatever he was asked to do now that he was back? So many words, so many questions, all penned up inside him, clamouring to be freed. 

Instead, what came out of his mouth was anything but illuminating. “You… you’ve been taking care of them all this time?” Syaoran murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “Why?” He felt dumb. But the words had already tumbled out. 

Again, a shrug. “Remorse, perhaps?” was Hideki’s laconic reply. 

Syaoran’s uncanny instinct told him it was more than that. But his mind was too crowded to chase his true intent; there was far too much to take in all at once. In spite of it all, he had the presence of mind to reiterate his promise. “After I’ve sorted things out, I’ll be back,” Syaoran said, somewhat tersely.

The fact that he now had a son to come back to steeled his resolve to straighten things out, whatever it took. He could not let Sakura shoulder the responsibility of raising their child all by herself. Not anymore. And he could not leave his own son fatherless. He would definitely be back. Without a doubt. 

“Cool,” Hideki said, turning towards the shop. 

Syaoran hung back with his eyes glued to the spot where Sakura was stooped a few moments ago. He could still sense her energy there. That warm glow that attracted him to her still lingered. 

Where have you been all this while?

I missed you.

I’ll come back for you - and our son. I promise. I love you, Sakura. 

Already, Syaoran’s heart was running at the speed of light to the woman he had unwittingly abandoned and the child he didn’t know existed until this very moment. His heart shrank at the thought of leaving them, especially now - the moment his past and future collided. He could not wait to reunite with them. He had to act quickly. He could not afford to waste even a second. 

Run, Syaoran, run.

~~~~~~~~~~

Lowering herself slowly onto the bed, Sakura exhaled deeply. Her back ached, her feet throbbed, and there was nothing she would like to do more than lie down and snooze. These days, her body moved like a lumbering bear as she bore the weight of a little pumpkin inside her. She reached for her purse on the nightstand and pulled out the softly shadowed sonogram her doctor had taken that afternoon. She was thirty-nine weeks along and the doctor said she could pop anytime. Sakura’s heart did a little somersault as she anticipated the day of his arrival. As if responding to her thoughts, a small nudge from her pumpkin rippled through her belly. 

“You’re excited to see the world, aren’t you, pumpkin?” Sakura whispered, stroking her bulging belly tenderly. “I wish your otou-san could be here to welcome you when you arrive,” she said plaintively, fiddling with the ring he had left her, now strung on a thin silver chain around her neck. 

Planting a kiss on the ring and then another on her tummy, Sakura flipped off the lamp and lay on her left side, letting a deep sigh escape her once again. The bed seemed to sigh together with her - it was so blissfully soft it felt ready to swallow her into its warmth. But. 

Nothing could compare to the cloud-like cradle of Syaoran’s bed. She had never experienced anything like it; it made every other bed she had slept in pale in comparison. Sakura giggled into the bolster she was straddling at the memory. How bold was she then - to give something so precious to someone whom she had known only a few months? Perhaps he could cast spells that made girls surrender so willingly, so unabashedly. Or maybe - what Sakura was more inclined to believe - he truly cared about her, treasured her, loved her, giving her the security she could only find in someone whom she really trusted. He was a rare breed - too good, too strange, too impossible to belong to the ordinary world. And maybe that was why he was gone from her life as quickly as he had come into it. 

Sakura shook away the thought. No, have faith, Sakura. He’s coming back. He’s coming back. 

All of a sudden, she felt something pop between her legs. It was so subtle she wondered if she had imagined it. But seconds later, a piercing pain radiated from her abdomen. It was unlike any kind of pain she had ever felt. Before she could make sense of it, it was gone. 

A minute later, a fresh stab of pain ripped through her midsection. Groaning, Sakura grabbed a fistful of her blanket, trying to will the pain away. When it subsided, she hauled herself into a sitting position and waited. Sure enough, another surge of deep, twisting pain shot through her belly. Sakura clutched the sheets beneath her with all her strength, swallowing the screams that threatened to fly out. There was no mistaking it - she was in labour. When the pain faded, Sakura forced herself up, legs trembling, and shuffled towards the bedroom door. 

She pushed it open and tottered towards the couch where Hideki was sound asleep. For the last two weeks, he and Tomoyo had been taking turns staying over at Sakura’s apartment in case she went into labour and needed to go to the hospital. It was Hideki’s turn today. 

“Hideki - Hideki-kun,” Sakura panted, feeling the imminent wave of agony making its way to her front and behind. She nudged him on his shoulder, causing him to stir. 

“Hideki-kun,” Sakura repeated, gently shaking him. Once again, the debilitating pain hit in full force. She doubled over, clutching Hideki’s shirt, causing his eyes to fly open. 

“What - Sakura! Are you okay?” Hideki exclaimed, bolting upright, holding Sakura by her shoulders. 

“I - I think I - I’m in - I’m in la - labour,” Sakura stuttered, gasping through the excruciating contractions which were growing more frequent.

Hideki jumped up from the couch and seized his phone from the coffee table. “I’ll - I’ll call the doctor,” he said, almost shouting. With trembling fingers, Hideki dialled the clinic’s number, and the call was transferred to the gynecologist. “H - hello? This is Kimura Hideki, Kinomoto Sakura’s guardian. She’s in pain - I mean - she’s in labour -”

“My water just broke,” Sakura blurted, sucking in a shaky breath, grabbing Hideki’s arm for support as another wave of contractions came on. 

“Her - her water just broke!” cried Hideki, his heart palpitating wildly in his chest. 

“Calm down, Kimura-san,” Dr Tanaka said, her voice steady. “Make your way to the hospital now. I’ll see you there.”

“Alright.” Without wasting a second, Hideki gently sat Sakura down on the couch and headed into her room to retrieve the hospital bag she had packed a few days ago in preparation for this day. 

“Would you be able to walk?” Hideki asked, patting his pocket to ensure his key fob was there.

Sakura shook her head, the agony clearly hampering her ability to form words. 

“I’ll carry you, then.” Gingerly, Hideki scooped Sakura into his arms, careful not to worsen her discomfort. 

“Thank you, Hideki-kun,” Sakura managed to say, her voice feeble, as she continued to wrestle with the ever-intensifying contractions.

“I can’t believe you’re thanking me in this state,” Hideki teased, chuckling despite his own immense nervousness. 

Sakura’s mouth started to curl but stopped short as another contraction gripped her. 

“Breathe in and out, Sakura, like how they taught at those pre-natal classes. You got this,” Hideki assured, as they waited for the lift. 

“Mmhm,” was Sakura’s faint reply. 

Her mind was a complete swirl; all she could think about was getting the baby out. Soon.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You were amazing, Sakura-chan,” Tomoyo whispered, clasping her best friend’s clammy hand and brushing her damp hair from her face. 

“I’m so tired now I can sleep for centuries,” Sakura slumped, closing her eyes in sheer exhaustion. 

“You pulled through it, Sakura-chan. And I'm so proud of you! I really am,” Tomoyo gushed, giving Sakura a small hug. 

“Thank you, Tomoyo-chan.” Sakura sighed into her best friend’s embrace.  “What would I do without you?”

“I know, right?” said Tomoyo, her mouth curving into a subtle grin. 

“Is Hideki-kun still outside?”

“Knowing him, he must be. You should see how flustered he was when he was told he could not follow you in,” Tomoyo mused. “You can see how his brain is only made for basketball.”

Even with her body heavy from labour, Sakura still found the strength to let out a soft giggle. 

“Anyway, you rest. I’ll go help Hideki-kun with the paperwork.”

“Thank you, Tomoyo-chan. I’m glad I didn’t have to go through this alone. What a traumatising experience,” Sakura sighed through a smile. 

“You’re never alone, Sakura-chan.” Tomoyo smiled gently, giving her dear friend’s hand a light squeeze.

~~~~~~~~~

“I can’t believe you kept this from us, kaijuu! If not for Daidouji, we’d still be completely in the dark!” cried Kinomoto Touya, Sakura’s older brother who was professionally protective since she came into this world. 

“Not so loud, Touya-kun,” hushed Kinomoto Fujitaka, as he pulled the door closed behind him with as little noise as possible. 

Scowling, Touya snapped, “I’d be louder if we weren’t in a hospital.”

“On-onii-chan! Otou-san!” Sakura gasped, utterly taken aback by the unexpected appearance of her only family.

“How’re you feeling, Sakura-san?” Fujitaka asked, every crease of his face seemed carved with worry. 

At her father’s concerned voice, tears began to well up in her eyes. She had kept her pregnancy from her father and brother all this while because she did not want to worry them. It was hard, not having her loved ones with her during the toughest transition of her life. But she thought it was for the best, for everyone. 

Hearing her father’s tender voice and seeing her overly dramatic brother, she realised just how much she had missed them. She had only seen them through video calls, which had made it easy to hide her growing belly. Concealing something so important from the ones who had watched her grow up had been torturous. Now that everything finally came to light, Sakura felt relieved. She didn’t need to keep running from them anymore. 

Before she could say anything, Sakura found herself tightly wrapped in her brother's arms. “You stupid, stupid girl. You could’ve just told us. Why would you go through all that alone? What would ‘kaa-san think?”

“I’m sorry, onii-chan, otou-san,” Sakura sniffled, letting her tears seep into the crisp white fabric of her brother’s shirt.

Fujitaka patted his daughter’s back reassuringly. “There’s nothing to apologise for, Sakura-san.”

Pulling away from her brother’s arms, Sakura wiped away her tears with the back of her hands. She gazed up at the two important men in her life from her bed and realised how tremendously fortunate she was. She knew they must have dropped everything and rushed to Tokyo at first notice. Their precious little girl had become a mother all of a sudden - how shocking the news must have been for them. 

“Why don’t you come back with us to Tomoeda?” Fujitaka voiced, his eyes crinkling with a smile.

“Yeah, kaijuu, come back with us. It’ll spare us from driving ourselves crazy worrying about you nonstop,” Touya chimed in. With a smirk, he added, “You’ll be thankful for the extra pair of hands.”

And there was no reason to say no because that was exactly what Sakura had been hoping for.

No more running. 

How nice it was to finally rest in the love of her family. 

~~~~~~~~~

SummerSensations: Thank you for reading till the end! <3

Chapter Text

Chapter 15: Moving On

It was a dream she wished she didn't have to wake up to. She was in the arms of her beloved. He had come back for her. He knew who she was. He remembered.

But Sakura knew it was yet another dream that felt so painfully real. Like so many countless dreams she had had about Syaoran. It was a longing that vanished the moment she tried to reach for it.

Sakura rubbed the space between her brows. Her head was throbbing. She was never a strong drinker. She hardly imbibed unless… she needed an escape. Last night was one of those times she needed to go back to feeling like herself again. How ironic, wasn't it? She felt whole only in the hidden corners of her subconscious mind, while in reality her life played on autopilot. She gave it her all to live out her days purposefully with everyone and everything she loved and cared about, but there was always an icy gulf that would swallow her whole, leaving her hopeless and unanchored.

It had been six years since Syaoran had disappeared all of a sudden. With each passing day of no news about him, Sakura grew more and more disheartened despite her seemingly unshakeable optimism that he would return one day. One day. When would that one day be? She would question no one in particular. His continued absence, not a single trace of news about him, and now, engaged to another woman, lost memories - they fed the fragility of her faith that might not stand the test of reason, and time.

Hope was slipping through her fingers like sand with each passing day. Every day she would pray, until sleep overcame her. But it all felt like a misguided quest. Maybe… it was time to let go. Clinging on too tightly to something so unforeseeable was agonising.

Treading heavily to the en suite, Sakura stretched her arms overhead and let out a huge yawn. With her fingers wrapped around the cold porcelain of the wash basin, Sakura stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes landed on the silver chain around her neck. Like a flock of birds swooping through an open window, her fingers drifted up reflexively to touch the ring dangling from the gossamer chain. It was as light and delicate as it could be, but at times it felt so heavy she could not lift her head up. Weighed down by prayers left unanswered, questions that slipped beyond reach, and a longing that felt impossible to hold.

Sakura's fingers curled around the token of promises left unfulfilled, of love slipped away, of a voyage adrift in the vast, indifferent sea. It was an emblem of love, meant to bring joy and a lifetime of bliss and beautiful promises. But for Sakura, it brought deep anguish and a dark passage of lingering anguish and distant dreams.

Without warning, her fingers in contact with the precious metal felt a warmth she had been yearning for. It was so familiar, yet so strangely foreign.

Once again, she felt his presence surround her, just as in those quiet hours before dawn when they shared tender embraces - a moment she had never imagined would be their last.

I love you.

She could almost feel him whispering it into her ear, right there in that instant.

I love you.

The three words that haunted her in those long, dreadful hours of the night when her mind would run wild and sleep would not come. Sakura used to be an easy sleeper, the kind who would be out the moment her head hit the pillow. But ever since that diabolical day, she had forgotten what a good night's sleep felt like. Not a night went by without his voice echoing inside her, his gentle touches grazing her skin in memory. They left her heart in a frenzy, her mind in chaos, her body in a burning ache for his touch once more.

I love you.

Three words she wished with all her heart she could say it to him over and over again. Over, and over, again. Until her voice wore him down.

It was all but a distant mirage.

Peeling off her clothes to take a quick bath, Sakura studied herself in the mirror. It had been six years since she really looked at herself. Every muscle in her body was still quite well-toned, though the persistent softness at her middle hadn't budged despite her carefully maintained routine of regular exercise. She read that being pregnant, giving birth and becoming a mother changes your body entirely. And whoever made those claims were totally spot on. But she was thankful for her early years of strict, rigorous training because it enabled her to regain her strength and flexibility rather easily. Still, Sakura knew her body was never the same again.

Did she harbour any regrets?

No. Instead, Sakura could not imagine her life without Nobu-chan. If time offered her a second chance, she knew without a doubt that she would make the same choice to bring her precious boy into this beautiful world. She would do it over and over and over again.

Still, she missed cheerleading. It was her passion, her source of joy, her ikigai. She practically grew up doing layouts, arabesques and all kinds of stunts that would make one's heart stop. She was an unstoppable live wire on the mat once the music started. Gosh, how she missed those times - the gruelling training sessions, the adrenaline of competitions, the roar of the cheering crowd. Guilty as charged, but Sakura really wished she could go back to cheerleading again. But. But.

Look at yourself. Do you really think the squad wants you back in your current state? You're a mum, for heaven's sake. Look at your belly. You're going to look ridiculous in the cheerleading uniform. And so what if you can still do splits and handstands and whatnots? Do you really think you can still do all those crazy stunts a cheerleader must be able to? Forget it, Kinomoto Sakura. Throw that thought away, please. Come back to reality.

When Hideki told her Sparkling Stars was holding auditions, an excited tremor ran down her spine and her stomach burst into a wild little riot of nerves. A million thoughts invaded her mind at the mention of her former squad. She carried countless fond memories being part of Tokyo's highly acclaimed cheerleading team. The training sessions literally breathed life into her - she could never have imagined her life without cheerleading. Until.

Until Sakura learnt she was going to play a role she had never thought would come that soon. She knew she could not carry a baby inside her and continue with the sport. It was an either-or situation; there was no win-win outcome in what she faced. And she chose the less difficult option - give up cheerleading so she could raise a child the heavens had gifted her with. It was a bridge - the only bridge - that ran from her heart to his.

It was the only way she could still feel connected to him, the only man she would ever want to be with.

Whenever Sakura missed him (which was practically every other second), she would close her eyes and place a hand on her belly. Breathing in memories of Syaoran, and just being… still. Every time she did that, she could almost feel him right next to her.

Almost. Because she knew it was all illusory. And it was too much of an agony for Sakura to dive too deep into her memories of him, into her deep desire of having him back, holding her tight, never letting her go.

But it was all illusory.

Just illusions.

Painful illusions that cut like a freshly sharpened knife.

Sakura continued to stare at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. A pair of dulled emerald eyes embellished with dark shadows stared back. Her countenance held as much life as a penny eaten through with rust. Her once deliciously kempt caramel tresses were left to fend for themselves. Was this the result of life's vicissitudes that got tossed into her court? She had no time, no energy, no excess resources to tend to her appearance. She would be grateful for even an extra hour or two to herself, or a little extra allowance to set aside for Nobu-chan's future.

In the last six years, Sakura could hardly remember the last time she did anything for herself. It was always for Nobu-chan, the shop, Nobu-chan. Sometimes she'd even forgotten how it was like to be… her, to be Kinomoto Sakura. But she didn't let herself linger in those thoughts. All she wanted was… to get through the day as uneventfully as possible.

And for Syaoran to return.

Which he did.

But he didn't come back as the Syaoran who had left her all of a sudden. He didn't come back as the Syaoran who had told her he loved her. He didn't come back as the Syaoran who gave her Nobu-chan.

He came back as someone else's husband-to-be. He came back as nothing more than a stranger.

A stranger.

He was a stranger - again.

How much faith did she have left in her to hope against all hope? It was all futile. It was all pointless. What were the chances of him regaining his memories? Even if he did, could they truly go back to how they were meant to be? Or… would he even want to?

Go back. How was it possible? Life was never meant to run backward.

Time moves on. Technology follows. So do people.

Sakura ran a hand over her withered tresses. Who had she become? She laughed at her own silent question. Then, she placed a hand over her chest wherein rested her withered heart. When was the last time it'd flutter and bloom like the butterflies and flowers in the field she'd loved to gambol about when she was young?

She could not remember.

Or maybe… she chose not to remember, for the thought of it brought a strange, wrenching feeling she would do anything to avoid. She didn't need yet another wave of emotions, or the weight of could-have-beens, to send her melting into a puddle of tears. Feeling despondent zapped away so much of her energy and it didn't bring her any closer to Syaoran.

So what was the point?

Was she bound to an eternity of endless yearning for a man who no longer remembered her? Was this how her life was meant to turn out?

To be brutally honest, this wasn't her first heartbreak anyway. She would get over it. She must. She must. For her own sanity. It was time to break free from the misguided hope she had carried for so long. No more wandering like a heart with nowhere to go. No more. No more.

It was time to live properly, to reclaim her life. No more standing on the sidelines like the ghost of a life that didn't exist anymore. No more. No more.

Sakura's grip closed around her phone and with a breath of resolve, she typed:

Hideki-kun, about the audition you mentioned before… Could you tell me more?

It was time to let go… and move on. No more chasing bubbles only to watch them burst into nothingness. No more.

And yes - that belly - it would go with more salads and less cake.

Sugar - so delicious, yet so dangerous.

Hope - so determined, yet so disappointing.

It was time,

to leave it all behind.

Syaoran's eyes cracked open to the dim light of his phone. It showed 3:37am. He had fallen asleep thinking about Sakura.

It felt like a blur between a dream and a reality that his brain was struggling to register. It had all felt so surreal, as forgotten shards of memories came rushing back to him, one by one. Syaoran's eyes roamed his hotel room, suddenly forgetting how he ended up there. Why was he even there? Oh, right, he was in Tomoeda on a vacation with Zhenni. Wait. Why was he here with her? Here, there, where? His thoughts collided in a blur of confusion as he tried to make sense of everything that had entered his orbit unannounced.

First, he realised he was manipulated. He had played right into the hands of the old fox, Wang Shiren. Rage simmered in Syaoran as the truth sank in, his knuckles turning white.

Second, he had been duped by Wang Zhenni. The "health drink" she made him take every morning was in actuality a dangerous love potion. Eriol had warned him, before their first date, that she was an expert in concocting brews that were both conniving and toxic and could ruin a man's pride. When Syaoran met her for the first time at the hotel restaurant, his sharp acumen told him she held something lethal beneath her soft, cultivated charm. He was not one easily duped by the likes of such women until… he got beguiled by the dark spells of the Wangs. With the return of his memories, the twisted incantations hidden in the 'health drink' began to crumble. He could feel clarity through the familiar haze, his senses sharpening all at once.

Syaoran contorted his lips, disgusted by how easily he had his strings pulled by the despicable Wangs.

Third, the Elders played a huge role in this masquerade of truth. They made decisions for him, wrote his life story without his consent, made him a fool for a few splendid years. They schemed with the Wangs, ensuring their only heir fell into the hands of the clan that promised them the greatest glory.

What disgrace, Li Xiao Lang, Syaoran mentally flogged himself. How had he let his guard down this far?

Fourth, where was Eriol in all of this? And were his mother and sisters in the know as well? If they did, why didn't they say anything at all? They knew Sakura… Fuutie knew what Sakura was to him… so did Mother…

Sakura…

She was the greatest revelation of his pathetic, puppeteered life.

And the son he had but never met.

Fifth, he had let Sakura down. He had let her think he had abandoned her. He had let his memories of her stolen away. And she had his son, and he had zero clue. How could he have let all these happen?

How?

Downright pathetic.

Sitting erect, Syaoran unlocked his phone and an image of him and Zhenni flashed across the screen. She had wheedled him into changing his "boring" phone background to one that was "more interesting". She had him by the collar, like an owner to a dog. Her potion was lethal. It stripped him of any resistance, leaving only obedience in its wake. Syaoran grimaced at his lost sense of self, his pride, his identity. Without conscious assent under her spell, he became exclusively hers. But with the return of his memories, Wang Zhenni's spell was quickly wearing off. His mind was gradually coming to where it belonged and his senses were slowly sharpening.

Drawing in a quick breath, Syaoran tapped her name and raised the phone to his ear.

After a few rings, a groggy voice greeted him. "Hey, what's up?"

"We need to talk," Syaoran said, his voice clipped.

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now."

"Okay, let me freshen up a bit. I'll come over in five."

"No, we'll talk in the living room."

"O-kay. See you."

Without the response he would have habitually given, Syaoran hung up the phone and marched towards the bedroom door. He could not wait to be freed from Wang Zhenni's clutches.

And from the rest of the Wangs.

"So…" Zhenni began as she tied the sash of her silk robe around her slim waist. "What brings us here at this hour?" She sashayed towards Syaoran, sliding her arms around his torso - something she would do at every opportunity, as if quietly claiming him.

At her touch, Syaoran's chin pulled back and took both her wrists, easing her back so that there was a good amount of distance between them. He lowered himself onto the sofa and gestured for her to sit.

Zhenni sat and looked at him curiously. "You seem… different."

It took every ounce of self-control to stop himself from lashing out at the deceiver right next to him and then walking out of the suite he had booked for their holiday in Tomoeda. But he knew better than to let his emotions take the reigns.

"I'll cut to the chase," Syaoran said without preamble. "My memories are back."

Zhenni blinked, as though trying to register what she had just heard. Her face gave no hint of shock or any kind of reaction to show she understood what was being said. After a full minute, she managed a tight smile and replied, "That's wonderful, Xiao Lang. I'm glad-"

Syaoran held up a hand. "I know what you and your father are up to; you don't need to pretend in front of me."

Zhenni's smile vanished instantly, her lips forming a tight straight line. She leaned back against the couch, folded her arms in front of her, and said breezily, "You know what's at stake, don't you, Xiao Lang?"

"I didn't initiate this conversation without a plan," Syaoran answered pointedly.

Zhenni crossed one leg over the other and raised her perfectly trimmed eyebrows. "So you're ready to sacrifice your loved ones - including your son?"

Syaoran's head snapped up and stared at the woman before him, his eyes alight with a kind of ferocity that could burn through all the forests in the world. "How did you-"

Uncrossing her long, slim legs, Zhenni leaned forward so that her face was just inches from her fiancé's. "Tell me," she spoke in a low voice, "what exactly is your plan?"

Anger boiled beneath Syaoran's skin. Was there nowhere out? Was he doomed to be held captive by these vile people who did not deserve to be human? A soft, cool hand cradled his face. His eyes slid up to meet Zhenni's, which were full of… empathy? Sorrow?

"My father is a scheming man. But…" Zhenni let her hand slip from Syaoran's face and rested her head on his shoulder. "He is a loving, doting father - who simply wants the best for his children. Above that, he is the head of our clan. Everyone's fate rests on his shoulders."

"I… don't understand what you're getting at," Syaoran said uncertainly, scooting away from her. "Look, I can't -"

"Give me some time," Zhenni injected, taking his hands in hers, her dark eyes pleading.

Syaoran snapped his hands away from her, as if she was contagious. Eyes narrowing in unbridled suspicion, he hissed, "For what?"

Zhenni's lips twisted, as if the thoughts running through her mind left a sour taste in her mouth. She blew out a short breath, and for once, she diverted her gaze from Syaoran, letting it linger on the thick maroon curtain that concealed the night sky of Tomoeda. She spoke quietly, almost as if she was talking to herself. "I know what my father and I did was wrong. But…" A soft silence enveloped the room as Zhenni weighed her words, so that they didn't come out cobbled together. "My feelings for you are real."

"That didn't excuse you from what you and Wang Shiren had done," Syaoran pointed out, his face morose, his voice acid.

"No," Zhenni conceded, giving a defeated shake of her head, "It didn't."

At the sight of her atypical vulnerability, Syaoran dropped his hard persona for a moment. "I appreciate your honesty. But you know better than anyone - we can't let the wedding happen. It'll bring nothing but pain and misery. I want to put a stop to all this that shouldn't have even happened between us. There was never going to be a future. You know it."

Zhenni's gaze slid back to Syaoran, a small smile curling around the edges of her mouth. A look the epitome of arrogance crossed her face and she huffed a humourless laugh. "Li Xiao Lang, you think you can get rid of me that easily? Think about the people you're trying to protect. What do you think my father would do if he found out you're breaking up with me?"

Syaoran raked his eyes over her, hoping hard his glare alone could stab through her heart because he was finding it hard to restrain his hands from curling around her neck and squeezing the life out of it. "You and your pathetic threats. You're just like your cowardly father."

"So you think you can bypass my cowardly father and return to your darling Sakura and your son unscathed?" Zhenni taunted, her arms crossed contemptuously.

Syaoran lifted his chin, unyielding. "Don't underestimate me," he warned.

Zhenni chirruped, "Oh, I've never once doubted your capabilities, Xiao Lang. But…" She paused deliberately, making sure her words landed. "My father has been keeping tabs on Kinomoto Sakura and her son. Nobuye - I think that's his name. How-"

In a breath, Syaoran lunged forward and grabbed her by the lapels of her dressing gown. "Don't - you - dare - lay - a - finger -"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Zhenni interjected, lifting his hands away from her robe, "Take a chill pill, Xiao Lang. I'm not done yet."

Syaoran jerked his hands away from her and resumed his place on the couch, keeping his distance. He exhaled, jaw tight. "Talk."

Zhenni straightened her robe and squared her shoulders towards him. "'How quaint' was what I wanted to say before you tried to kill me," she explained. Crossing one leg over the other, she went on, "You need me, Xiao Lang, whether you like it or not. My father's not going to sit back and see you ruin his daughter and of course, he has no intention of abandoning the hopes of becoming the most influential man in Asia. But it isn't a dead end. For you."

Syaoran's expression remained locked in stillness and Zhenni took it as her cue to continue. "The wedding will still need to proceed as planned."

Syaoran was about to argue but Zhenni quickly added, "We will file for divorce after six months on the grounds of mismatched personalities. By then, my father will get what he wants and knowing I want the divorce for my own happiness and sanity, he will not insist on us staying married."

Throwing her an unconvinced look, Syaoran intoned, "Are you sure that's going to work?"

"If not, then what? Fight it out with my father? Cripple my family in every way? Is that really a better option?" Zhenni questioned, her voice thin with indignation. "Regardless of all the wrong my father did, I don't want to see him or my family ruined, Xiao Lang."

A heavy silence descended as Syaoran mulled over what he had just heard. Zhenni's proposal could be a more plausible option but.

What if.

What if… could this be yet another ploy to manipulate him all over again?

"Are you afraid, Li Xiao Lang? That it's yet another ruse to get you on our side?" Zhenni goaded, edging nearer to him.

Syaoran's tongue traced the inside of his cheek as he fought the urge to deny her words.

Because they held a measure of truth. And he, Li Syaoran, loathed being weak in front of others, especially his enemies. A few seconds of strained silence passed between them as mind and instinct warred within him. If it could keep Sakura and everyone she cared about safe until the time when he could finally reunite with her, then… perhaps it was worth the gamble.

In his rumination, Syaoran did not realise Zhenni had inched so close that their noses were practically touching. "Well, even if you found out I've deceived you yet again, it wouldn't be too late to ruin us all. I know you're capable of it, Xiao Lang," she purred.

Her hypnotic, sable eyes ensnared his, and he found himself held captive by her venomous aura. Bright yellow-green flames erupted, encasing her in a sinister glow. His mind stalled and his senses dulled. It was like staring into the eyes of Medusa and becoming petrified. Zhenni took his hand at once as though he belonged to her and pulled him towards her. Her arms snaked around his waist and she kissed his mouth. "But first, I'll make you mine tonight," she murmured. She kissed the side of his neck. "And forever."

A surge of heat coursed through Syaoran's body as Zhenni's intoxicating presence lured him in, bending him to her desires. His entire being boiled with life and he was having a hard time finding breath as their bodies collided and twisted together. He knew, he knew, he knew, it was all wrong, but he couldn't help it. He wanted more, more, more. He couldn't stop. Oh God, he couldn't stop. His eyelids were clamped shut and a sharp stab ripped through his chest. It was wrong, it was so wrong. But all resistance was useless, futile.

Nothing remained for him but to obey, as garments slid to the floor, piece by piece.

Syaoran's chest constricted, but he couldn't speak.

His heart ached with the worst kind of pain, but he couldn't turn away.

All he could do was let himself sink, sink, sink, into the black hole of Wang Zhenni and her beguiling, wicked enchantments.

"What if - what if I don't make it? Or worse - what if I make a fool of myself in front of everyone? What if -"

Hideki chuckled as he pulled the car to a stop. He turned off the engine and turned to look at a flustered caramel-haired girl whose forehead was already glistening with perspiration even though it was five degree Celsius outside. Hands still on the steering wheel, he said, "Sakura, you're going to be -"

"Don't tell me I'm going to be fine because right now my heart is about to jump out of my ribcage!" Sakura spluttered, words firing like a machine gun. "I don't know why I even sent in that dumb video. Why did they even choose -"

Hideki placed a hand over Sakura's clammy ones, and said firmly, "Sakura, look at me." When she did as she was told, he continued, "You're the best cheerleader I've ever met, and I'm not saying that because you're my friend or because I'm trying to make you feel better. Really, I've not seen anyone as passionate as you, Sakura. And the fact that your audition video was chosen means you carry what the team is looking for. Throw your doubts out of the window, and show them what Kinomoto Sakura's got."

The faintest smile flickered across Sakura's face. "Thank you, Hideki-kun. But… Don't you think I'm too old for this?"

Hideki rolled his eyes in mock exasperation. "How many times have we gone through this? No - you - are - not. Age is not a factor; don't let it eat away your confidence. And besides," Hideki assured, "You look younger than many of those college girls out there." He winked, a giant grin breaking out on his face.

Despite her erratic nerves, Sakura let out a lilting little laugh. "Honestly, Hideki-kun. How do you actually give your teammates pep talks before matches?"

"Seems like someone's feeling all better because she's getting all snarky," Hideki quipped, as he unbuckled Sakura's seatbelt, letting it drift smoothly back. "But seriously," he said, the teasing tilt of his lips slowly disappearing, "You'll do great. I just know it."

Nodding her appreciation, Sakura smiled, more broadly this time. "Thank you, Hideki-kun."

"Show them what you've still got and more, even after all these years," Hideki declared confidently.

"Hai!" Sakura responded, shouldering her gym bag, getting ready to head to the gymnasium.

"I'll hang around here. Call me when you're done."

"Are you sure-"

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll see you shortly, 'kay?"

"Alright… See you later, and…" Sakura stretched her arms towards Hideki and wrapped him in a quick hug. "Thank you, Hideki-kun."

Hideki patted her back and said gently, "You're welcome. As always."

"How was it?" a girl who looked like a college freshman asked, her bright blue eyes wide with curiosity and excitement.

"It was absolutely harrowing!" another girl who just came into the waiting room exclaimed, looking like she had been doused with sewage water. "The judges, especially Coach Hayashi, the legendary Sparks veteran, were brutal. The stunts they made me do were completely out of this world. I expected it to be tough but not this tough. I think I'm screwed." She collapsed onto the couch and sighed pitifully.

Sakura stretched her hamstrings as she tried to tune out all the stress-inducing noises in the waiting room. Coach Hayashi… she must have seen her video… what would she make of an ex-team member submitting an audition video? Would she find it laughable? But… her video got accepted, which meant… Sakura shook her head vigorously, jettisoning every hypothesis that threatened to steal her peace.

"Anyhow," Dejected Girl threw in, her features brightening slightly, "There was this guy in the panel… I heard he's the squad captain's fiancé. Heavens! He looked like he just walked off a movie set!"

"For real?" College Freshman lookalike asked incredulously. "Then it's no wonder you lost your focus." She half-laughed, but Sakura could hear the nervousness the girl was probably trying hard to conceal.

"Oh well!" Not-so-dejected Girl sighed and sank back into the couch.

"Kinomoto!" a voice called, loud and crisp.

"Hai!" Sakura answered, her face burning slightly as a brief silence descended and all heads turned to look at her.

She recognised that voice right from the start of the audition. It was Chiharu's. Sakura hadn't kept in touch with her ever since she left the squad. In fact, she hadn't kept in touch with any of her teammates. She didn't want anyone to know about her situation. When she voiced her decision to quit the squad, she had asked Coach Hayashi to hold the knowledge of her pregnancy in confidence, because… well, because she didn't know how to explain just how absurd her circumstances were.

Sakura's heart thudded nervously as she rose to her feet and minced towards the door where Chiharu stood with her clipboard. A flash of recognition and unguarded surprise shone in her bright eyes.

"I couldn't believe the coincidence when I saw your name on the list. I didn't think it would be you but look who's standing in front of me!" Chiharu whsipered, her tone full of excitement. "Where have you been? What happened all those years ago?"

"It's good to see you again, Chiharu-chan," Sakura offered. She would very much like to reconnect with this good friend she'd gained from her Sparkling Stars days but every thought on her head was focused on the stage she was about to face.

"You bet! We really must get together some time! Oh wait, we will have plenty of time ahead of us to catch up after you rejoin the team!" Chiharu chirruped, taking Sakura's hand and giving it a light squeeze.

Sakura gave a small, awkward laugh. "You're saying as if I've already passed the audition."

"Of course you will! You were the best in the squad, didn't you know that?"

"Well, that was years back," Sakura said wistfully. "Now I can only hope I don't mess up the basics." The words felt thick and heavy, pulling her back into self-doubt once more.

Chiharu threw her a long side glance, as they walked abreast towards the gymnasium where the audition was held. After a pause that seemed to stretch on, she hesitated, "Sakura-chan, I've been wondering… of course, I don't mean to pry but… what… what exactly happened that made you choose to leave the squad?"

They were nearing the entrance to the gym. The surroundings - the gleaming wooden floors, the rows of stacked chairs and mats against the beige-coloured walls, the light waft of floral air freshener lingering in the corners - filled Sakura with nostalgia. The memory of that day - the soft whiff of autumn leaves, the queasy churn that twisted in her stomach, the hollow ache that spread through her chest - pressed into her, as though no time had passed at all.

"I didn't expect this to happen. I'm really sorry, Coach."

A sigh. "I understand, Kinomoto. You have no other options. Just do what you need to do."

A pat on the shoulder.

"Thank you, Coach."

A smile.

"Take good care of yourself. Feel free to reach out if you need help, alright? We are all here for you. Once a Sparkling Star, always a Sparkling Star."

Tears pricked Sakura's eyes. Nod. Nod.

"The door is always open - for you."

A sniffle. "Thank you, Coach."

"Sakura-chan?"

"Y-yes?"

"Are you okay? You were zoning out," Chiharu said quietly, her eyesbrows furrowed in concern.

Sakura offered a small smile. "I'm okay - just a little nervous."

Chiharu grinned. "You're gonna nail this, Sakura-chan. You weren't made captain of a championship squad for nothing."

Sakura chewed on her friend's words for a second before saying, "Maybe."

Drawing her against her shoulder, Chiharu beamed, "I look forward to cheering alongside you again! I'm rooting for you!"

"Thanks, Chiharu-chan."

Tentatively, a little shakily, Sakura eased open the towering doors to the gym.

This is it.

This is it.

The flow of time seemed to stop. The air felt thinner all of a sudden.

Amber locked onto emerald, like nothing else existed. Even when her name was called twice, she didn't notice. It was like everything else just faded into oblivion.

"Kinomoto?"

Loud, crisp, a pinch of irritation.

It was the familiar voice of Coach Hayashi. Sakura's senses snapped back to reality all at once. Right, she was in the gymnasium, centrestage, ready for the audition she had poured herself into. Every other thought, question, was irrelevant. It didn't matter. It didn't matter that he was seated with the panel of judges, holding her with that impossibly intense gaze that sent her pulse rocketing to the moon.

No, it didn't matter.

It could not, must not matter. Because his fiancée was seated right next to him, looking impossibly goddess-like, her thick, glossy curls spilling over her chest and framing her flawless, glowing face.

Even after leaving the squad, Sakura kept up with their updates on social media and knew back then that Zhenni was made captain about three years after she left. Her father had somehow become Sparkling Star's chief sponsor, which probably explained the atypically long tenure of her captaincy. In spite of it all, Sakura chose to run for the squad again, even if it meant having to face Syaoran's fiancée on a regular basis. She practically grew up cheering in the squad, she respected and loved Coach Hayashi and most importantly, she carried a treasure trove of memories of her time there. There was no other team she would like to be part of if she were to return to cheerleading again.

"Kinomoto Sakura, former captain of Sparks for two consecutive seasons. What made you leave just before Nationals?" It was one of the veteran cheerleaders of the Sparkling Stars - a familiar presence at every audition for as long as Sakura could remember. She could still recall sitting beside her on the panel during auditions when she was captain. Hoshino Misaki. Cool, composed, quietly formidable, and extremely talented. Former captain who held the role ten seasons ago.

Doing her best to conceal her agitation, Sakura swallowed hard, drew a lungful of air, and offered a broad, beaming smile. "It's nice to see you again, Misaki-senpai," she greeted, lowering herself in a bow. Then, lifting her head, she went on, "Circumstances changed, and I had to reprioritise. I thought stepping away was the responsible thing to do at that time."

Poised, measured, dignified. Giving nothing away.

"Well, then, the past is best left where it belongs. That chapter's closed," Coach Hayashi inserted, "so let's see some new flips and twirls, Kinomoto. Are you ready?"

Resisting the quiet urge to steal a glance at Syaoran - the man she had missed so terribly, especially since the encounter at her shop - she managed, "Hai!"

As Sakura positioned herself, she could feel his gaze on her and her heart did a weird flip like it was trying to escape her ribs and run to him. She gave herself a mental shake, determined not to let her thoughts and emotions run wild.

Focus, Sakura. Focus. Focus on your future, your happiness, your life. Focus.

Her heart thudded nervously. She closed her eyes. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Posture erect, chin pulled back, Sakura opened her eyes and wore the practised smile of a cheerleader, polished and bright. The music played.

And Sakura shed every layer that hid her from the world and herself.

And she did what she did best.

She moved through flips, spins, and leaps in a blur of precision and power. She hadn't felt this alive, this present, in a long, long time.

And it felt amazing.

Her eyes were marvellously bright.

He was momentarily entranced, stunned.

She was just the way he remembered - beautiful in a way that went beyond appearance.

There was a hollow ache where she used to be - where she still was, yet unreachable.

She was a sparkling being, flipping, spinning and leaping through the air like a bird unbound, like a free spirit, like… how she was supposed to be.

He loathed himself for being able to do nothing but watch her from afar. How he yearned to hold her, kiss her, talk to her, listen to her, bask in her hypnotic warmth, love her openly. But this love was one he no longer had the right to show. Missing her, yearning for her, had become a habit which had encrusted itself onto his every day.

And it cut him to the bone.

He lost the right when he found himself awake, unclothed, next to Zhenni's bare body. His mind had been in tatters. It was one deed - one imprudent, feckless deed - he could never forgive himself for.

But he still loved her.

Li Syaoran, despite his pusillanimous resolve - his feeble will - still loved the woman he had unknowingly and unwillingly betrayed. Kinomoto Sakura, he loved her with all his heart. His heart, his beating heart, loved Sakura. It could never love anyone else. She filled the space entirely, and more, spilling beyond it.

He felt a sharp stab in his chest when he noticed how she tried to catch a glimpse in his direction after her routine ended, like there was a message she wanted to convey. But it was fleeting.

His heart let out a quiet hiss, deflating all at once, when she bounced out of the gymnasium without looking back.

His gut was sounding a clarion call, but he could not heed it. Not now.

He could only wait - for the ordained moment when he would reclaim all that had been taken from him.

"How much longer are you going to run away?"

"Maybe for as long as I live," Eriol said under a yawn. He stretched his arms overhead and let himself sink into the pub's maroon couch, lifting his wine glass and draining a mouthful of Chardonnay.

Her voice was a melodious kind of gravity, but in that moment, her words hit his ears like nails on a chalkboard. Eriol let his mind tune out what he did not want to hear.

This dimly lit, jazz-filled place was his sanctuary. And he did not fancy the idea of anyone or anything ruining his private moping ritual. Just like every inward retreat steeped in self-pity, gloom clung to him, the kind worn by men in noir stories.

"You know this is not a life you want to live," Tomoyo said gently but with a pinch of irritation. After pouring herself some of the same wine her companion was having, she sauntered over to the he was on and sat down next to him. She took a sip of the zesty crimson liquid and went on, unrelenting, "You care about them, Hiiragizawa-san. And you won't stand to

plums. He let his gaze linger on his wine glass, the liquid garnet swirling around in his grip.

Eriol Hiiragizawa was riddled with guilt but he refused to face the tatters he had left behind.

"No one but you can bring things back into balance," Tomoyo insisted.

The words came softly but carried a truth so heavy it sent waves of fear pulsing through his body.

A brief silence descended as Eriol turned over her words in his mind. He didn't understand. He didn't have the power, the confidence or the courage to bring things back into balance. He didn't understand why this woman who didn't quite belong to this world, who barely knew him, who only knew him for seventy-two hours, would think so highly of him. Either she was gullible beyond hope or she was simply delirious. Both were reasons enough to cement his belief that his decision was the right one.

"Hiiragizawa-san, please," Tomoyo pleaded, grasping his hand, a silent appeal in the dark. Her hand was like silk against his and miraculously - against all sense - pumping life into his otherwise deadened heart.

But Eriol wasn't about to let it get past his defences. "Don't," he spoke quietly, almost as if he were talking to himself, "Leave it. It's fate. If they are meant to be together, they will be."

Tomoyo's frown grew deeper. Without hesitation or without any apparent thought, she blurted, "That is so irresponsible of you! How could you say that? Fate? What if you are part of their fate? If you wimp out, you are banishing what they could have into hell!"

To that, Eriol said nothing. He simply studied his wine glass, like it was an abstract art piece to be deciphered.

Recovering quickly from her sudden bout of frustration, Tomoyo whispered, "I'm sorry, I was out of line. Please don't take umbrage at what I just said. I - I was just -"

Eyes still affixed to the crystal vessel of expensive fermented juice that tasted like plain water to him, Eriol said in a small voice, "I understand where you're coming from. But…"

A weary, heavy sigh.

Finally, he looked straight at her.

"I'm not as great as you think I am."

Tomoyo's face softened. He looked so wounded that she could not bear to say anything else that could throw him into a valley of despair. She simply smiled, nodding her understanding. Rising to her feet, Tomoyo surrendered, "I guess nothing else I say would change your mind." Then, with her head tilted to the side, she said, "But I'm curious - why did you even agree to this meeting in the first place, if you already knew what I was going to say and you've already made up your mind?"

Silence echoed like an empty shell waiting to be filled. Eriol sipped from his glass and let his eyes follow the slow swirl of the red liquid. It was strangely grounding, like a salve for the soul. He wished he could stare at it forever, maybe long enough to swallow him into its crimson ocean. To her question, he didn't know how to answer because he knew it was an answer he had been running from.

It was an answer he was afraid to give.

But he knew it was the choice his conscience commanded.

"I'm a coward. I wanted to see how you would convince me into action. Maybe…" Eriol trailed off, as though he were leaving something important unsaid. He nibbled his lower lip in deep thought. He adjusted his glasses, a reflex more than a mental activity. The seconds lengthened between them. At long last, he let the words out of their cage. "It is plausible - it could be… that I just needed a little reassurance - to do what I knew I should… a long time ago."

Tomoyo sat back down, her eyes zeroing on him like she was hanging on his every word.

Those eyes of lavender sparkled. Eriol's heart gave an involuntary lurch. He swallowed hard and quickly looked away. Regathering his thoughts, he spoke again, trying not to look like a moron with his heart going wild, "I want to help them. I really do. But -"

Tomoyo grabbed both of his hands this time and said, "I know you're the one who can save them from whatever evil that tore them apart."

Eriol stared at his hands wrapped tightly in hers. His stomach felt like he was on an airplane. It was a marvel that he had not yet had his breath knocked out of him.

Releasing his hands (and his wildly beating heart), Tomoyo said with a flourish, "I have no supernatural powers, but my instincts are always right."

Before his resolve could crumble, Eriol threw in, "When do we leave?"

Still revved up on adrenaline, Sakura sprinted out of the gymnasium, her milk tea ponytail flying wildly behind her. She swung her arms energetically as she saw Hideki perched at the front of his car. At the sight of her, he straightened up and grinned broadly.

"How was it?" Hideki asked, his tone caught between anxiety and excitement.

Sakura enthused, "Now I remember why I loved cheerleading. It was exhilarating! Though I don't know if I'll pass the audition, it opened up something within me. It… it was indescribable, Hideki-kun. The experience was priceless."

For a moment, Hideki simply looked at her without saying a word.

Sakura waved a hand in front of his face. "Hello? Earth to Kimura Hideki?"

Hideki blinked, as if reality had slipped away.

Frowning in concern, Sakura asked, "You okay?"

Recovering quickly, Hideki, with that lipcurl of a smile on his face, said, "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. I'm just… I haven't seen you so excited in a really long time. This is the Kinomoto Sakura I knew…" His voice dropping a notch, he muttered, "and loved."

Sakura felt her face warming up. Mouth dry, tongue thick, she cleared her throat before saying, "Shall we go grab a bite? I'm starving from all the nerves onstage just now."

"Of course, my highness," Hideki teased, opening the car door for her.

Sakura tossed her bag into the backseat and climbed into the car. She smiled. He smiled back.

And they drove off, leaving the cathartic conversation behind, the shock of seeing the one her heart had been aching terribly for at the audition, and… a certain chestnut-haired man who was watching them until the car became nothing more than a speck.

SummerSensations: Thanks for reading till the end! :D