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The rain battered down on the ship deck, and Zuko tilted his face upwards. The water droplets trailed down his face, and he closed his eyes, hoping the rainwater would hide the fact that he was crying.

It was close to midnight. He should be sleeping.

(Prince Zuko, why don’t you try the tea?)

Zuko let out a shuddering breath. He was not going to think about Zhao. He was not going to think about Zhao. He was not going to-

(Why resist? I can make you feel so good, Prince Zuko)

Zuko bit back a sob. He should have taken Uncle with him, or a guard, or Lieutenant Jee, anyone. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened, maybe Zhao wouldn’t have dared to drug him, much less put his hands on him-

He could still feel it. Zhao’s alcohol breath on his face, his hand on his thigh. Zuko shuddered, rubbing his arms in hopes to replace Zhao’s touch. Naturally, it didn’t work, and Zuko screamed.

His chest burned, and his throat closed up. Everything felt heavy, and Zuko’s eyes burned. He fell to his knees and sobbed, loud and ugly.

Why, why, did all this happen to him? What crimes did he commit in his past life to be dealing with all this? Why?

He sat there in the rain for who knows how long, crying and screaming and letting out all the ugly feelings but it did not feel enough.

He heard the soft thump of footsteps against the ship deck, and hurriedly wiped his tears, trying to stifle his cries. Zuko didn’t register who it was until the person spoke.

”Zuko?” Uncle’s soft voice called out, and Zuko flinched when Uncle crouched next to him. Shit, he should’ve known his shouting would have woken Uncle.

Uncle placed a hand on his shoulder, and Zuko shivered. “Let’s go inside, you’ll catch a cold out here.”

Zuko shook his head desperately, the force of his stifled sobs racking his whole body.

He desperately wanted a hug, any form of comfort Uncle could give him.

Uncle sighed. “Very well,” he said. With a groan, he sat down next to Zuko. Zuko looked up, eyes red. “Uncle, what are you doing? You’ll fall sick,” he said, voice shaking.

Uncle glared at him, rubbing gentle circles on his back. “No nephew of mine is going to sit and cry in the rain alone.”

Zuko’s heart clenched at the silent support in those words, and he leaned against Uncle. He wrapped his arms around Zuko, holding him close. Zuko felt like he was five again, safe in his mother’s arms.

Zuko didn’t know how much time had passed with Uncle just sitting there and holding him while Zuko tried to hide his face in Uncle’s neck. Eventually, he calmed down enough to pull away, sniffling pathetically. Uncle looked at him softly.

”Do you want to talk about it?” He asked gently. 

Zuko stiffened. He shook his head, hard. Uncle nodded rubbing circles into his back again. “Okay,” he said, in that same voice, “I won’t pry. But I hope you know I’m here for you, and I’m willing to listen.”

Zuko opened his mouth, trying to find the words to express his gratitude. His throat closed up, and his mind was blank of anything he could say. He closed his mouth again. Uncle’s eyes softened, and he hugged him again. “Come inside, I’ll make you some jasmine tea.”

Zuko huffed out a laugh. Always with the tea.

***

Morning found him curled up in a blanket, watching Uncle pour them both a cup of hot jasmine tea. 

He wondered why Uncle bothered with him. Zuko hadn’t exactly been the warmest to him lately, yet Uncle never got angry and never shouted. At least at him.

He pushed away the nagging thought that Uncle would grow tired of him. Like Father, like Azula.

He inhaled sharply. Uncle looked at him, worry creasing his brows, but said nothing.

Azula. His baby sister. How was she managing back at the palace? Was she eating or was she overtraining and exerting herself? She’d done that many times growing up and Zuko had always had to drag her to the kitchens to eat something.Were Mai and Ty Lee still with her? Was she lonely? 

His mind raced with worried thoughts, concern for his sister shadowing any resentment he’d ever felt for her. Briefly.

What’s the point in worrying? It’s not like she ever needed my help for anything.

Zuko hesitated. That may be true, but he was still her older brother. It was in his nature. He hadn’t forgotten the promise he’d made all those years ago, to always protect her. 

Azula’s cackles echoed in his head. Poor naive, foolish, weak Zuzu, her voice snarled viciously in his head. Why would I ever need your protection? It had always been you who needed the protection.

Uncle placed Zuko’s cup in front of him, and Zuko swallowed his shame along with the drink. 

Azula (more like the Azula-like voice in his head) wasn’t wrong. 

Maybe he was just being weak and stupid. Seemed pretty in character for him. Especially the weak part, proven by the fact that Zhao had managed to drug him. Then again, he did manage to escape. That had to count for something, right?

Zuko resisted the urge to shake his head. Uncle would only be concerned.

Agni, she may not need his protection, but he sure as hell worried about her. She had Father’s favour, but they both knew how fickle it really was. Mai and Ty Lee might be close to her, but Zuko knew Azula would never consider them her friends or as people to rely on, no matter how close they were. Zuko closed his eyes.

When he opened them again, Uncle watched him quietly. It unnerved Zuko.

”What?” He bit out. 

Uncle smiled slightly. “You seem tense, nephew. Care to share your thoughts?”

Zuko stubbornly looked away, and took another sip.

Uncle sighed. “Zuko, I hope you know that whatever is burdening you is not only your weight to shoulder. Sharing your burden with those who care about you is not shameful.”

Zuko scoffed. Uncle sighed again. “I can’t force you to talk. I can only hope you’ll come to me of your own accord when you are ready.”

Zuko swallowed harshly. He appreciated what Uncle was doing, he did. It was just hard to talk about it, with hot shame pooling in his stomach, and his own thoughts of never being enough plaguing him. He blinked rapidly, willing the stinging warmth in his eyes to dissipate. He nodded once, and that seemed to be enough for Uncle. 

Uncle smiled again, and they drank the tea in silence. 

It was nice.