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derek’s hands stilled against the pages, the dust on his hands showing how long the photo album had really been up here. he was originally supposed to be grabbing the christmas decorations but accidentally stumbled upon one of aaron’s old baby books and, while they didn’t speak anymore, the dad in him still wanted to reminisce. tears well in his eyes page by page; these photos and memories felt tainted now.
he runs a thumb across the curled corner on one particular photo, as the glue had begun to dry off. there was a date written below it, clearly in rachel’s handwriting. december 14th, 1994. just three days before his son’s fourth birthday. he vaguely remembers they had chosen to throw a birthday party for him on that day, it being the easiest on everyone’s schedules.
the memory briefly flickers in his head, and all of a sudden, derek is there again.
he’s sliding the finished cake into the fridge, pretty proud of his cake icing abilities, when he hears a small pitter-patter of feet, as well as rachel’s footsteps, entering the kitchen from behind him.
“daddy! daddy!” derek turns around to see his youngest daughter, standing clad in her brand-new birthday dress. it was bright red, with puffed-out sleeves, and layers of tulle that he had to assume was way too much. any adult would cringe at its tackiness but not derek. not when he saw how his daughter’s face just lit up when she spotted it on the clothing rack weeks ago.
“why, hello sweetpea,” derek scoops her up in his arms, taking brief notice of the messy pigtails that had strands sticking out in every direction. “what happened to your hair?”
“mommy tried to do my pigtails but, umm,” she leans in closer to derek’s ear, slightly giggling, and attempts to whisper even though rachel can hear her easily. “i don’t think she’s that good at it.”
derek’s eyes soften as they meet his wife's face, spotting the slight smirk that graced her lips. he adored when rachel smiled, even if it was a small one. he doesn’t know if he’ll ever admit it but he thinks that rachel’s smile was part of the reason he fell in love with her. in a way derek cannot explain, it made him feel safe, like he could tell her anything without judgement, like no matter what, she will always be there by his side. “yeah, you’re definitely the hairstylist of this house, derek.”
“i think you might be right, babe.” he sets his daughter down on the kitchen island, facing away from him. “right. let’s see what daddy can do with your hair, little lady.” she excitedly claps and crosses her legs together.
“i’m really excited for my birthday party. who’s coming?” derek mentally goes through the list in his head; it wasn’t that big but he always struggled with names.
“well, some kids from preschool. oh, and some of daddy’s friend’s kids.” he cannot see her face but he can hear in her voice the way her eyes light up in excitement.
“mau?” she asks hopefully, still unable to pronounce the name right. derek laughs; his daughter had only met zack’s daughter a handful of times, and he was previously anxious about them meeting as his daughter was just over a year older than his, but to his surprise, they really hit off and stayed attached at the hip during what little playdates they had.
“yes, mau is coming. you like her, don’t you?” she nods harshly, but derek is grateful it wasn’t enough to ruin her hair.
“mhm! she’s super pretty. i’m gonna marry her when i’m a grown-up.” derek couldn’t help but chuckle at his daughter’s certainty. it was one of those unshakable beliefs you only see kids have and derek would forever find it endearing.
“well, i better get an invite then.”
the two fall into a comfortable silence for a few minutes before she speaks up again, however, this time her voice seemed to be full of nervous curiosity.
“daddy?”
“yeah, hun?”
“what’s a mutt?” derek’s breath hitches, nearly stopping in his tracks.
“where did you hear that word?”
“i had my ears out at preschool and gwen’s mommy said it.” derek sighs, although not aimed at his daughter. he’ll have to have a word with gwen’s mother on monday. however, he was now grateful that she wasn’t able to make it to the party.
“it’s a… word we don’t use, alright?”
“like a curse word?”
“yeah, kinda,” he brushes out her bangs and continues speaking. “why did you have your ears out anyway?”
“i don’t know. i like them and they’re pretty.”
“well, under no circumstances, do you have them out. remember what we talked about?” his daughter sighs, and her shoulders slump. it drains the sympathy from derek’s heart; he doesn’t want to disappoint and upset her as much as he does but she’s too young to understand fully why it’s a problem. maybe that’s a conversation for another time.
“yeah. i guess.” derek continues her pigtails in silence, clipping a bow under each hair tie, and only when he’s done, does her mood pick up again, seemingly forgetting about their conversation.
“there you go, all done!” he presses a kiss on the top of her head, setting her down on the ground. she runs over to the fridge and stares at her reflection.
“i’m super pretty! thank you!” his daughter grins at him, and he can’t help but smile back at her cute gap-toothed smile. it always made her look so young and so sweet despite how fast she seemed to be growing up.
a knock on the front door echos through the kitchen and derek watches with a grin as his daughter speeds out of the room, rachel following close behind. his smile lingers for another moment longer before it falls flat. the traits had begun to show in her, it being his worst nightmare. she was far too little to deal with it now and he avoided explaining anything he could when she asked questions about werewolves. derek knows he couldn’t do it for long, knowing it would only get worse from here on out but he’ll take all the sweet moments he can for now.
“derek!” he hears his name being called, the sudden smell of dust hitting his nose, and he realises he’s still in the attic. the year is not 1994 anymore. he is not in the kitchen. and his son is not here.
he turns to see his wife, exasperation evident on her face, as she pokes her head through the attic entrance.
“are you getting the decorations or not?” he wipes the tears from his eyes and shuts the book. he doesn’t know if he feels lucky that rachel didn’t mention it.
“yeah, yeah. i’ll… be right down.” she leaves without a word, only nodding. derek sets the photo album back in the storage box, shuts the lid tight, and stands up to prepare for another christmas without his son.