Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

**Scene: Concert Stage, Late Evening**

Kyuhyun, standing at the center of the stage, sings with all the power he can muster. The crowd is electric, their cheers rising and falling in waves, synchronized with the rhythm of the music. He moves toward the elevated platform at the edge of the stage, the platform that’s meant to lift him dramatically for the final note of the song. The music builds to a crescendo, and everything seems perfect—until it isn’t.

Without warning, the platform jolts. It’s supposed to rise smoothly, but instead, it jerks to the side violently. Kyuhyun stumbles, and before he can react, he’s thrown off balance. His foot catches on the edge, and he falls—tumbling from the raised platform toward the pit below. 

The fall happens so quickly that the audience barely has time to register what’s going on. For a split second, gasps and screams ripple through the crowd, followed by a sickening thud as Kyuhyun hits the ground, and then... nothing. 

For a moment, silence engulfs the arena. The lights flicker and the members freeze on stage, wide-eyed and horrified. By the time they have fully registered what has happened, the panic spreads like wildfire. 

Leeteuk: (stammering, frozen in place)
“No… no, this isn’t happening…”

Donghae: (voice cracking, shouting toward the crew)
“Get help! Someone… please, help him!”

Stage crew rushes toward the edge of the platform, frantically calling for medics. Some fans in the front rows cry out his name in desperation, while others stand in stunned disbelief. The music has been cut off abruptly and the cameras broadcasting the concert flickers black as chaos takes over.

Medic 1 : (into his radio, voice urgent)
“Get the emergency team down here now! We need spinal precautions—possible neck and spine trauma!”

The first responders reach Kyuhyun and kneel beside him, carefully assessing his condition. His body is crumpled on the floor, completely still. His face is pale, eyes half-closed, and there’s no movement. The team knows immediately that this is serious.

Medic 2 : (checking his vitals)
“We’ve got a pulse. He’s breathing, but shallowly. We need to secure his airway—he’s going into respiratory distress.”

As one of the medics stabilizes his neck, another begins to fit a cervical collar around Kyuhyun’s neck to prevent any further damage. They carefully but quickly immobilize his spine, ensuring no sudden movements that could exacerbate the injury. Every step is methodical.

The fans in the arena are still screaming, some in fear, others calling Kyuhyun’s name in desperation. The Super Junior members hover close by, trying to stay calm but clearly panicked.

Donghae : (voice trembling)
“Is he... is he going to be okay?”

Medic 1 : (firm, focused)
“We need to get him to the hospital now. He’s stable, but it looks bad.”

As Kyuhyun’s breathing becomes more labored, the medics quickly insert a portable airway to assist him with breathing. His chest rises and falls erratically, the ventilator hissing softly as it begins to take over his breaths.

Medic 3 :
“Okay, spine board. We have to roll him onto his back—carefully. No sudden moves.”

With expert precision, the medics position Kyuhyun on the spine board, securing him tightly with straps. They gently lift him from the floor and place him on a gurney. The entire process is a race against time, but every action is taken with extreme caution to avoid worsening his injuries.

Leeteuk : (voice cracking, trying to keep calm)
“Stay strong, Kyuhyun. We’re right behind you...”

Medic 2 : (nodding toward the ambulance)
“Let’s move. Every second counts.”

Kyuhyun, now unconscious and completely immobilized, is quickly wheeled offstage and into the waiting ambulance. The entire stadium remains in stunned silence as the emergency vehicles depart, lights flashing in the distance. Some fans are sobbing, others sit in shock, unable to process what just happened.

**Scene: Inside the Ambulance**

In the back of the ambulance, the medics work quickly. The sound of the sirens wails in the background, punctuating the tense atmosphere.

Medic 1 : (watching Kyuhyun’s vitals)
“His pulse is weak but steady. Keep monitoring his oxygen levels.”

Kyuhyun’s body remains limp as the ventilator helps him breathe. The medics are already preparing for the worst, knowing that spinal injuries can be devastating. They can only hope the damage hasn’t gone beyond repair.

Medic 2 : (looking at the others)
“He’s lucky to still be breathing after a fall like that... but with this kind of trauma, he might not be able to on his own for long.”

The ambulance speeds through the city, rushing Kyuhyun toward the hospital, every minute feeling like an eternity.

**Scene: Hospital Emergency Room**

The doors to the emergency room swing open, and Kyuhyun is rushed in on the gurney, surrounded by a full team of trauma doctors and nurses. The room erupts into organized chaos.

Doctor :
“Trauma alert! What do we have?”

Medic 1 :
“Severe cervical spine injury, suspected quadriplegia. Patient is in respiratory distress, tracheostomy likely required. He’s been intubated and ventilated on-site.”

As the hospital staff takes over, Kyuhyun is transferred to the trauma bed. They begin preparing him for emergency scans, trying to assess the full extent of the spinal injury. Machines beep rhythmically as they continue to monitor his vitals.

Doctor : (to the team)
“We need to stabilize him now. Start prepping for surgery—there may be swelling around the spinal cord. Let’s get those scans ready!”

The medics step back, their job complete, as the trauma team moves with rapid precision. Outside, the members of Super Junior arrive, breathless and wide-eyed, standing helplessly as they watch their brother disappear into the operating room. The weight of what just happened begins to set in, but none of them are ready to face it.

Hospital Staff : (rushing to action)
"Prep OR, page neurology! We need a surgeon on standby for decompression."

Chapter Text

**Scene: Hospital Emergency Room, Hours Later**

The fluorescent lights of the hospital cast an unforgiving glow over the tense faces of the Super Junior members. They sit in the waiting area, their bodies stiff, eyes glassy from shock. Leeteuk, the leader, stares blankly at the floor, still trying to process what had just happened. Donghae leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees, hands shaking. 

No one knows what to say.

Siwon: (breaking the silence, voice shaking)
“Kyuhyun… he was right there. Just… singing. How did this happen?”

Heechul, usually the one who finds words in difficult moments, remains uncharacteristically quiet. His hands are balled into fists, his face pale. Leeteuk tries to maintain some sense of control, but his voice cracks when he speaks.

Leeteuk: (barely audible)
“We have to stay strong... for him. We need to...”

The door to the emergency room opens, and the doctor walks out, his expression grim. The members rise to their feet as a wave of dread washes over them. The doctor approaches slowly, his face betraying the weight of the news.

Doctor: (calm but somber)
“He’s in a critical condition. The fall caused significant damage to his spine, and we had to place him in a medically induced coma to manage the swelling. There’s extensive damage to his cervical spine… we believe he may be quadriplegic.”

The words hit them like a brick. None of them move. None of them speak. The world seems to slow down as the reality of what they’ve just heard sinks in. Quadriplegic. The room feels too small, too suffocating.

Eunhyuk: (in disbelief, voice shaking)
“Quadriplegic...? No. No, that can’t be right.”

Siwon: (fighting back tears)
“He can’t be. Not Kyuhyun… he was...”

The doctor gives them a moment to process before continuing. 

Doctor:
“We’ve done everything we can. He’s stable for now, but... there’s no way to know if he’ll ever regain any function below the neck. You can see him, but I warn you—it’s going to be difficult.”

They follow the doctor into the ICU, each step heavier than the last. When they see Kyuhyun lying in the hospital bed, tubes and machines attached to his motionless body, their hearts break. His face, usually so full of life and sarcasm, is pale, his body still, a ventilator doing the work his lungs should be doing. They stood outside the room, at a loss for words, the sight before them so foreign and unfamiliar to them.

Doctor: (with a respectful tone)
“I’ll leave this space to you guys for now. Please approach me if you have any questions.”

Leeteuk: (with a strained smile that does not quite reach his eyes)
“Yes, thank you, we will.” 

They both give each other a bow, and as the doctor leaves, the members are left by themselves in the empty hallway, the weight of uncertainty weighing down on their shoulders. 

Chapter Text

**Scene: 4 Days Later, Kyuhyun Wakes Up**

It's been 4 days since the accident. Kyuhyun remains in the ICU, showing no signs of regaining consciousness. The members made time to visit as much as they could in between schedules, but no one was allowed to enter the room just yet. They could only watch Kyuhyun through the large transparent window, silently praying for him to show the slightest bit of improvement, just a slight movement of the eyelid, or even just a twitch of the finger.

Just then, when nobody is paying attention, Kyuhyun’s eyelids flutter ever so slightly. It took a few moments, but his eyes slowly opened. The first thing he notices is the steady beep of machines surrounding him. The world around him seems blurry and disorienting. His mouth is dry, and there’s an overwhelming sensation of something in his throat—he can’t speak, can’t even try to call out. 

Panic sets in.

He tries to move, but nothing happens. He attempts to lift his arms, his legs, but his body doesn’t respond. His heart races as he frantically blinks, trying to figure out why everything feels so wrong. Slowly, it dawns on him. He can’t move, at all.

Kyuhyun: (internally, panicked)
“What’s... what’s going on? Why can’t I move?”

His breathing quickens, the ventilator whirring in rhythm with his shallow gasps. His mind races as fragmented memories of the fall flood back. The concert. The platform. The plunge. And then... darkness.

The door opens, and the members enter the room, their expressions tense but controlled. Leeteuk steps forward first, his face pale, his hand trembling slightly as he places it on Kyuhyun’s arm. 

Leeteuk: (evident relief in his voice)
“Kyuhyun! You’re awake!”

Kyuhyun’s eyes shift toward them, confusion and fear filling his gaze. He tries to speak, but the tracheostomy tube in his throat prevents him from doing so. He feels trapped, terrified.

Heechul: (kneeling by his bed, forcing a smile through his pain)
“You really scared us, Kyuhyun. But it’s okay now… you’re going to be okay.”

The words feel hollow. Kyuhyun tries to move again, to test his body, but still—nothing. His eyes widen as the full weight of what’s happening crashes down on him. He can’t move. He can’t feel anything. 

Kyuhyun: (internally, panic rising)
“No…. no, this can’t be real.”

His breath comes faster, shallow and erratic. The ventilator beeps faster, matching his rising anxiety. He looks desperately at the members, searching their faces for answers.

Siwon: (sensing Kyuhyun's panic, stepped forward, voice heavy with emotion)
“Kyuhyun... the fall... it damaged your spine. You’ve been in a coma for days. The doctors... they said...”

He pauses, unable to continue, his voice cracking.

Leeteuk: (choking back tears as he tries to speak)
“You’re paralyzed, Kyuhyun. Quadriplegic. You can’t move... right now.”

Kyuhyun’s eyes fill with tears, the overwhelming shock and devastation hitting him all at once. He stares at the ceiling, his mind racing, but his body remains still—lifeless. The members try to comfort him, but he’s numb, both physically and emotionally. 

The silence stretches, and all he can think about is the life he’s lost, the career that was stolen from him in a single moment.

Kyuhyun:
“My life... my voice, my body... all of it’s gone. What am I now?”

The members remain by his side, knowing that there’s nothing they can say to ease the pain he’s feeling. They can only be there, holding onto the hope that somehow, he’ll find the strength to keep fighting. But in this moment, for Kyuhyun, that hope feels impossibly distant.

Chapter Text

**Scene: One Week After the Accident, Hospital Room**

It's been a week — 7 days since Kyuhyun’s devastating fall. The sterile scent of antiseptic lingers in the air as he lies in his hospital bed, eyes unfocused, staring at the ceiling. The steady beep of the heart monitor is a constant reminder of his new reality, punctuated by the soft hum of the ventilator assisting his breathing through the tracheostomy tube in his neck. He has been moved out of the ICU and now finds himself in a quieter, more subdued environment, though the weight of what’s to come feels heavier than ever.

Doctors and nurses come and go, preparing him for his first session of rehabilitation. But Kyuhyun? He is now ever so distant, barely uttering a word. He feels disconnected, almost like he’s watching everything from outside his own body. The shock still hasn’t fully worn off. He hasn’t even processed the fact that his legs—even his arms—don’t respond to him anymore.

Doctor : (gentle but firm, standing beside Kyuhyun’s bed)
“Kyuhyun-ssi, I know this is overwhelming, but we’re going to begin rehab today. It’s crucial to start as soon as possible to prevent further complications from immobility, even if full recovery seems... unlikely.”

Kyuhyun: (his gaze falls downwards, avoiding eye contact)

Deep down, he wants to believe there’s a chance—a sliver of hope that this won’t be his permanent reality—but the truth looms large. The odds of recovery are slim, and he knows it.

Kyuhyun :
Why am I even doing this? It’s not like I’ll ever walk again. What’s the point? Just to be strapped into more machines... more beds... more chairs?

The hospital staff arrive with a motorized lift to transfer him to his wheelchair for his first rehab session. Kyuhyun doesn’t resist; he simply lets them work, feeling detached from the process. The straps around his chest, thighs, and arms are tightened to prevent him from slumping. He’s already learned that without the straps, his body would collapse forward, a cruel reminder of how dependent he’s become.

**Scene: Rehabilitation Room**

The rehab room is brightly lit, almost painfully so, in contrast to Kyuhyun’s dark mood. Machines surround him—hoists, parallel bars, and exercise devices designed for patients like him, whose bodies no longer obey their commands. “Today’s session is going to be grueling” , he can already feel it in his bones. His muscles, long atrophied from lack of movement, seem to scream in protest at even the slightest stimulation.

Using the hoist lift, the nurses start transferring Kyuhyun from his motorized wheelchair to a specialized rehab mat table. The transfer is smooth, practiced, and efficient, but it’s still a humiliating reminder that he can no longer even move himself from one place to another. The therapist stands by, watching carefully, while the nurse operates the lift.

Nurse: (calmly)
"Alright, Kyuhyun-ssi, we’re lowering you down now. Nice and easy."

Kyuhyun’s body, harnessed securely in the lift, is lowered onto the table. His legs dangle limply, completely unaware of the movement, and his arms lie uselessly against his chest. Once he’s safely on the mat, the nurse unhooks the straps and positions his body properly, making sure his legs aren’t twisted or awkward.

Physical Therapist : (cheerful, trying to offer encouragement)
“Okay, Kyuhyun-ssi, today we’re going to focus on strengthening your neck muscles and increasing your breathing capacity. We’ll also work on some assisted range-of-motion exercises for your arms and legs to keep the muscles from deteriorating too quickly.”

Kyuhyun : (expression unreadable, nods again)
“Okay.”

They start with the basics. The therapist carefully supports Kyuhyun’s neck, gently tilting his head from side to side. He feels the pull on his neck muscles, a slight strain that shouldn’t have been exhausting, but now it is.

Kyuhyun :
Even my neck… how is this my life now?

The therapist then moves to his arms. Kyuhyun’s arms lie limp at his sides, barely feeling the hands that manipulate them. They carefully lift his arm, bending it at the elbow, stretching it, and then releasing it. There’s no resistance, no muscle contraction—just dead weight.

Kyuhyun :
I can’t even feel it... (He stares blankly at the therapist moving his arm, his voice silent in his mind.) I used to hold a microphone. I used to play the piano. Now... this is it?

As the therapist moves to his legs, the reality becomes even harsher. His legs, once strong from years of dancing and performing, are now lifeless. The muscles have already started to atrophy, giving it a slim, frail appearance. Each movement they make for him—bending his knee, lifting his foot—feels foreign.

Physical Therapist :
“We’re going to move through your legs’ full range of motion now, Kyuhyun-ssi. This will help with circulation and prevent contractures.”

They lift his leg slowly, bending it at the knee, stretching the muscles that no longer respond. There’s no sensation. His legs feel like they belong to someone else—just appendages he can no longer control.

Kyuhyun : (softly, almost to himself)
“It doesn’t even feel like they’re mine anymore.”

Physical Therapist : (gently)
“I know it’s hard. But keeping them mobile is important. It will help prevent more long-term complications.”

The session continues, focusing on passive exercises designed to keep his joints moving, while the nurse massages his hands and legs to maintain circulation. After a while, she moves to his fingers, curling and uncurling them, ensuring they don’t stiffen into permanent positions. 

Physical Therapist :
"Now we’ll work on some assisted core exercises. I’ll help you with the rolling motions, but it’s important to keep activating what muscles we can."

She gently rolls him onto his side, strapping his body securely to maintain balance, then guides him back to a flat position. The movement is slow and deliberate, her hands guiding his body with precision. All the while, Kyuhyun’s face remains stoic. On the outside, he seems like he’s complying, following along with the routine. But inside, his thoughts churn.

Kyuhyun :
I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to do this. But... what’s the alternative? Lying in bed for the rest of my life? (His eyes drift to the ceiling again, his voice trembling internally.) But what’s the point of rehab if I’ll never be normal again?

The reality of the situation hits harder as she helps him sit up—using more straps and supports to keep him upright. His body slumps slightly without the extra assistance, and Kyuhyun hates it. He hates every moment of the dependency.

Physical Therapist :
"We’ll work on some seated balance next. Just focus on keeping your head steady, I’ll be here to support you."

Kyuhyun just gave a simple nod. With the help of a few nurses, the therapist pushes him up to a sitting position, leaning his whole body against her. She holds Kyuhyun steadily by his shoulders, occasionally placing her hand on his forehead to ensure his head doesn’t tip forward. His head feels heavy, and his chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm, aided by the ventilator.

After the session, Kyuhyun is carefully transferred back into his motorized wheelchair using the lift. They finish the session by adjusting his ventilator settings, ensuring his lungs are being supported adequately, and working on breath control to maintain as much lung function as possible.

Physical Therapist : (patting his shoulder)
“You did great today, Kyuhyun-ssi. We’ll keep building on this, little by little.

Kyuhyun : (nodding, trying to force a smile)
“Thanks.”

The therapist smiles, not sensing the turmoil inside him. Kyuhyun is good at hiding it now—his feelings, his fears. He doesn’t want to show weakness, but inside, he feels utterly broken.

Chapter Text

**Scene: After Rehab, in the Hospital Room**

It’s now late evening, and the hospital room is dimly lit by a soft bedside lamp. Kyuhyun lies in his motorized wheelchair alone, positioned near the window. The sterile white walls and the hum of medical machines create an eerie calm. His body is mostly still, except for the occasional rise and fall of his chest—assisted by the ventilator. His eyes, barely able to turn toward the window, are fixed on the reflection of his face in the glass. His chin trembles as he stares, struggling with the weight of his reality.

Kyuhyun: (eyes fixed on the reflection, voice low and heavy)
"Look at me... I can’t even sit straight without this harness holding me up." (His eyes glance down at the black straps running across his chest, designed to keep him from slumping to the side.)
"Without it, I’d just collapse forward like a rag doll. I can’t even trust my own body to stay upright."

His gaze moves to his legs, limp in the chair, showing the clear signs of muscle atrophy. They rest lifelessly on the footrests, with straps binding his thighs to keep them from shifting awkwardly.

Kyuhyun: (his voice filled with quiet frustration)
"My legs... they used to be strong. Now, look at them—just... gone." (He stares at the way his pants drape loosely around his legs, his once muscular calves now sunken and thin.)
"I haven’t felt anything below my neck since the accident. I can’t even tell if they’re cold, if they hurt, or if they’re even still a part of me."

He tries to adjust slightly in the chair, but his movements are minimal, restricted. His arms lie motionless there, on the armrest of the chair, and even the effort to shift his head feels exhausting.

Kyuhyun: (letting out a deep breath, his voice shaking with anger)
"I can’t move my hands… not even a finger. These hands that used to play piano, to hold a mic, to wave to the fans… now they just sit here, useless." (His eyes flicker down to his hands, loosely resting on the armrest, supported by thin straps to prevent them from falling to the sides.)
"I used to be able to feel the keys under my fingers, to feel the vibration of the microphone. Now I can’t even feel when someone’s holding my hand."

He takes a strained breath through his ventilator, the soft hiss of air a constant reminder of his dependency on machines.

Kyuhyun: (gritting his teeth slightly)
"And this damn tube..." (He glances at the tracheostomy tube connected to his neck, his voice growing quieter, filled with resentment.)
"I can’t even breathe on my own anymore. Every breath I take... it’s because of this machine, not me. The ventilator does the work my body should be doing." 

He looks down at the hose leading from his neck to the ventilator, his chest rising and falling mechanically, the rhythm steady but impersonal.

Kyuhyun: (biting his lip, tears welling up)
"Super Junior’s Kyuhyun, the main vocal who can’t breathe without a machine. Pathetic."

Kyuhyun: (he continues)
"Even when I want to talk, it feels like I’m running out of breath. I have to wait for the ventilator to give me enough air just to speak." (His voice cracks as he forces out the words.)
"I’m... trapped in this body. My mind wants to move, to do the things I used to, but my body... it just doesn’t respond."

He tries to lift his head slightly, but even that simple motion is difficult. His neck feels weak, supported by the headrest, and he realizes how much he relies on it.

Kyuhyun: (his voice dropping to a whisper, filled with frustration and sorrow)
"Every time I look at myself, I see what’s left of me... and I barely recognize the person I used to be." (His voice shakes as he fights back tears, his hands motionless in the armrest.)
"I’m not Kyuhyun anymore... I’m just this shell."

He pauses, staring blankly ahead, and the loneliness of his condition hits him harder when no one is around to distract him.

Kyuhyun: (speaking softly to himself, tears beginning to fall)
"I used to run across stages... now I can’t even shift in this chair without help. They strap me in so I don’t fall... like a child." (He lets out a bitter laugh, but it quickly fades, his eyes downcast.)

He glances again at his legs, his face filled with quiet devastation.

Kyuhyun: (barely audible, voice thick with emotion)
"These legs… they feel like they’re not even mine anymore. The muscles are wasting away, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t even remember what it felt like to walk… to stand. The atrophy just eats away at them every day. It’s like they’re fading away, bit by bit."

He stares at the urinary bag discreetly tucked near his leg, a painful reminder of his total loss of control over his body.

Kyuhyun: (letting out a bitter sigh)
"Not even that… I can’t even manage basic things anymore. I rely on machines and bags to live... to function. They have to help me with everything... every little thing." (His voice trembles, the frustration and pain overwhelming him.)  

"I used to be independent. I used to be... so much more."

There’s a long silence, the only sound being the rhythmic whir of the ventilator. The weight of his reality presses down on him as he sits alone in the dimly-lit room, surrounded by memories of what he once could do.

Kyuhyun: (finally breaking the silence, his voice raw and barely audible)
"I’m still here... but I’m not sure how much longer I can keep pretending everything’s okay."

He looks out the window, staring into the night, the city lights distant and dim. A tear slides down his cheek, and for the first time in a long while, he lets the grief fully wash over him, no longer hiding it from anyone—including himself.

Chapter Text

**Scene: Late Night in the Hospital Room**

The hospital room is still cloaked in its eerie silence, the faint hum of machines providing the only sense of life. Night has fully fallen outside, casting shadows on the walls. Kyuhyun remains in his motorized wheelchair, his body strapped in place, his mind lost in the depth of his despair. His gaze drifts once more to his reflection in the window, the pale city lights barely visible in the distance. But tonight, the weight of everything seems unbearable.

Kyuhyun : (voice cracking, eyes glazed with unshed tears)
"How long can I keep doing this? Every breath I take… it’s not even mine. I don’t control anything anymore." He looks at the ventilator connected to the tracheostomy tube, the soft hissing a constant reminder of his dependency.

His mind races, replaying every memory of his life before the accident. The stages he once commanded with his presence, the laughter, the adrenaline, the love from the fans—it all feels like a lifetime ago. The weight of his current reality bears down on him, suffocating.

Kyuhyun : (his voice barely a whisper, thick with grief)
"I’m already dead. My body just hasn’t caught up yet."

Kyuhyun’s eyes fall to the ventilator. For the first time, his thoughts take a dangerous turn. It’s the machine that’s keeping him here, tethered to a life he no longer recognizes. His mind spins with dark, unsettling thoughts. The pain, the loss of independence, the despair—all of it seems to blur into a single, overwhelming desire: escape.

Kyuhyun : (fighting back tears, voice shaking)
"What’s left for me? I can’t walk, can’t move, can’t even breathe on my own. I’m a burden… to everyone.” He remembers the faces of his family, his friends, his bandmates. He remembers the helplessness in their eyes, the way they tried to stay strong for him, but he could see through it. The pity. The guilt. He feels like an anchor, weighing everyone down.

Kyuhyun’s breathing grows more erratic, the ventilator struggling to keep up. He glances around the room, his thoughts spiraling darker with each passing second. His mind locks onto one idea, one way to end the suffering—for him, and for everyone around him.

Kyuhyun : (tears streaming down his face, voice cracking with despair)
"I don’t want to live like this anymore… I can’t."

He looks down at his motionless hands, strapped securely to the armrest. They haven’t moved in so long. He can’t move them, but he doesn’t need to. His eyes slowly drift to the tube extending from the bottom of his neck, the one thing that’s keeping him alive—against his will. It would only take one moment, one action, and everything would stop. The pain, the endless dependence on others. He wouldn’t have to live in this trapped body anymore.

His breathing grows heavier as his thoughts intensify. He knows he can’t physically reach for the tube, but he can still move his head, just enough to aim and push. Maybe… just maybe…

Lifting his head from the headrest, Kyuhyun begins to dip it forward, his chin desperately attempting to come in contact with the tracheostomy tube. It’s there, just a few centimetres out of reach. He dips his chin a fraction more, his neck muscles trembling from the effort. His breathing becomes erratic, and the ventilator struggles to keep pace with his uneven breaths.

Kyuhyun: (muttering under his breath)
"Just… a little… more."

With painstaking effort, he manages to press the bottom of his chin against the tube. He can feel it, it's cold to the touch. He carefully angles his head to one side, making sure the tube is still within his reach. His neck muscles protest, his body weak and immobile, but his mind is set on one goal—ending this. 

Summoning every ounce of energy he has left, he tenses the muscles along the back of his neck, willing them to give him one sharp, decisive jerk. He presses forward, and with one small, forceful motion, he flicks his head to the side, yanking the tube out of his neck. The tube dislodges from his tracheostomy port, sliding free with a soft hiss. Instantly, the steady flow of air stops, and Kyuhyun’s chest tightens, the absence of forced breaths sending a wave of panic through his body. His lungs burn, gasping for air that won’t come.

As his head slumps backwards, Kyuhyun’s body spasms involuntarily, struggling to find oxygen. His vision begins to blur at the edges, and his mind screams for air, but there is none. It’s happening. The end is near. He feels the suffocating darkness creeping in, and for a split second, there’s a sense of relief. Relief that the pain will finally stop.

But then, a new sensation floods his mind—regret.

Kyuhyun: (choking on his own breathlessness, his thoughts frantic)“
"No… what have I done…?”

His vision fades in and out. The last thing he sees before blacking out is the dim reflection of his frail body in the window, a haunting image of a man who had given up.

Chapter Text

As Kyuhyun’s body goes limp, the door to his hospital room swings open, and a nurse rushes in. It had been time for her regular check-in, and when she saw the ventilator readings outside the room dip into the danger zone, she knew something was wrong.

Her heart races as she takes in the scene—Kyuhyun, pale and unresponsive, the tracheostomy tube disconnected and lying on his chest. Without a second thought, she quickly reaches for the tube, hooking it back to the port where it belongs. It attaches with a soft click, leading air into Kyuhyun’s lungs, but he isn’t responding. His lips are blue, his chest still.

Nurse: (shouting, pressing the emergency button)
“Code blue! Room 13! He’s not breathing!”

Within seconds, the room floods with doctors and nurses, the chaos of the emergency unfolding in a blur. In a normal scenario, they would have used a hoist lift to transfer Kyuhyun from his wheelchair to the bed, but with precious seconds ticking away, the medical staff has no time for slow, methodical measures. Two nurses carefully support his head and torso while another stabilizes his legs, ensuring the ventilator tubing remains untangled as they lift him onto the bed. One doctor immediately checks Kyuhyun’s vitals while another prepares to intubate him manually. The nurse begins chest compressions, her hands moving rhythmically in an attempt to restart his heart.

Doctor: (urgently, barking orders)
“Get me the defibrillator! We need to shock him, now!”

A nurse rushes in with the defibrillator paddles, handing them to the doctor. They rip open Kyuhyun’s hospital gown, placing the pads on his chest. His body jerks violently as the electric shock courses through him.

Doctor: (checking Kyuhyun’s pulse, sweat beading on his forehead)
“Again. We need another round!”

The second shock sends Kyuhyun’s body into another spasm, but this time, there’s a flicker of life. His chest rises, the ventilator pushing air into his lungs. The heart monitor beeps faintly—he’s alive. Barely.

The doctors and nurses breathe a collective sigh of relief, though the room is still tense with the aftermath of the near-fatal incident. Kyuhyun is stable, but unconscious. His face is pale, and the weight of what just transpired lingers heavily in the air.

**Scene: The Morning After the Suicide Attempt**

Kyuhyun slowly opens his eyes. The room is quiet, the chaos of the emergency last night now a distant memory. His body feels weak, more so than usual, and as his vision clears, he realizes what has happened. The ventilator is back on. He’s still here. They saved him.

Kyuhyun: (his voice raspy, barely above a whisper)
"Why… why did they save me?"

His mind is a swirl of confusion, regret, and shame. The overwhelming desire to end his pain had taken over, but now, lying here in the aftermath, the reality of what he had tried to do hits him like a freight train.

Kyuhyun: (tears welling up, voice cracking)
"I… I tried to leave them. I tried to leave… everyone."

His mind races, thinking of his family, his friends, his bandmates. What would they say if they found out? The thought sends a fresh wave of grief through him. He had been ready to give up—to leave them all behind. But now, he’s been given another chance, and he doesn’t know how to face it. It feels surreal, like he’s trapped between two worlds—the one he tried to leave behind and the one he’s now forced to stay in.

Kyuhyun: (whispering to himself, tears slipping down his face)
"Why am I still here…?"

The ventilator hums beside him, the steady rhythm of forced breaths a constant reminder that his plan didn’t succeed. He’s barely conscious when he hears the door click open. His heart skips a beat, knowing who’s coming. 

Leeteuk: (bursting in, his voice shaking with a mixture of anger and fear)
"Kyuhyun! What the hell do you think you were doing?!"

Kyuhyun flinches at the raw emotion in Leeteuk’s voice. The leader of Super Junior stands there, eyes wide with fury, face pale. Behind him, Heechul, Donghae, and Ryeowook enter, their expressions a mix of shock, hurt, and barely contained anger. Kyuhyun avoids their gaze, shame washing over him.

Kyuhyun: (voice weak, trembling)
"I… I didn’t want to be a burden anymore…"

Leeteuk’s fists tightened at his sides, his jaw clenched. Heechul steps forward, his face twisted in disbelief.

Heechul: (voice sharp, almost venomous)
"A burden? Is that what you think you are to us? A burden?! Do you even realize what you just did? You almost left us, Kyuhyun!" (His voice cracks, his anger barely hiding the hurt beneath.)
"You think disappearing would make things easier for us? Do you even understand how selfish that is?"

Kyuhyun winces at Heechul’s words, each one striking him like a physical blow.

Donghae: (his voice softer but filled with pain)
"We’ve all been fighting for you. All of us. We stayed by your side, through every surgery, every bad day, every single struggle… and this is what you give us in return? You wanted to leave us, just like that?"

Kyuhyun’s eyes begin to blur with tears, his throat tight. He thought he was doing them a favor. He thought they’d be relieved without having to watch him suffer anymore.

Kyuhyun: (choking on his words)
"I couldn’t take it anymore… I didn’t want to drag you all down…"

Leeteuk’s hands shake as he steps closer, leaning down so his face is inches from Kyuhyun’s.

Leeteuk: (his voice low and shaky)
"Drag us down? Kyuhyun, we love you. Do you understand that? We love you, and nothing you’re going through is a burden to us. We’ve all been through hell together, and I swear, if you ever think about doing something like that again…" (His voice catches, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.)
"...I don’t know what I’d do without you, Kyuhyun. None of us do."

There’s a tense silence, the words hanging in the air. Kyuhyun swallows hard, his chest tight with guilt. He hadn’t thought of it like that—hadn’t thought about what his actions would mean to the people who cared about him most.

Suddenly, the door opens again, and Kyuhyun’s parents step into the room. Upon seeing the sight of Kyuhyun awake, his mother let out a loud wail, her hand pressed to her mouth, while his father followed stiffly behind her, his face unreadable but his eyes red from crying.

Kyuhyun’s Mother: (her voice breaking as she rushes to his bedside)
"Kyuhyun… why? Why would you do this? Do you have any idea what we went through when the hospital called us last night? Do you know how it felt hearing that you… that you…?" (She can’t even finish the sentence, her body shaking with sobs.)

Kyuhyun looks away, unable to bear the sight of his mother crying. He had thought he was sparing them, but seeing her like this makes him realize how wrong he was.

Kyuhyun’s Father: (his voice rough, but steady, cutting through the air)
"Kyuhyun, I don’t care how hard things get. You don’t get to give up. You don’t get to leave us like that. You think this is only about you? It’s not."

He steps closer, his eyes hard as steel, his voice filled with a deep anger Kyuhyun has never heard before.

"We fought for you. All of us. Your members, your family, your fans. We stayed by your side when you couldn’t even lift your head, when you had tubes running through your body. Do you think we’d go through all that if we didn’t believe you were worth it? If we didn’t believe you were worth it?"

Kyuhyun feels a sob rising in his throat, but he holds it back, the weight of his father’s words crashing down on him.

Kyuhyun: (voice barely audible)
"I… I thought you’d all be better off…"

Heechul steps forward again, this time grabbing Kyuhyun’s shoulder—though gently, he still grips hard enough for Kyuhyun to feel the urgency in his touch.

Heechul: (voice steady but filled with an intense passion)
"Better off? Without you? Do you know how many nights we’ve spent praying, hoping you’d get better? How many times we’ve told ourselves that you’ll get through this because you’re Kyuhyun, and Kyuhyun doesn’t quit?"  

He leans in closer, his eyes burning with emotion.

"You’re stronger than this, Kyu. You’re not the type to just give up. That’s not the Kyuhyun I know."

Leeteuk steps in beside Heechul, his voice softer now but no less firm.

Leeteuk: (gently, his hand resting on Kyuhyun’s shoulder)
"You’ve been through so much already. Don’t let this be the thing that takes you down. We’re all here, ready to fight for you—but you have to fight for yourself, too. Rehab is hard. We know that. But every small step forward is a victory, and you’ve won tougher battles than this."

Kyuhyun feels tears streaming down his face, his vision blurred by the sheer intensity of the emotions in the room. The words from his members and his family cut deep, but they also started to light a small fire in him, something he thought had been extinguished.

Ryeowook: (voice soft but full of conviction)
"We’re not going anywhere, Kyuhyun. We’re going to be right here, every step of the way. But we need you to want this. We need you to fight for yourself, just like we’re fighting for you."

Kyuhyun lets out a shaky breath, his chest tightening not just from the ventilator but from the overwhelming flood of emotions crashing through him. His mind is still foggy from the darkness that almost consumed him, but for the first time in what feels like forever, he feels something else—hope. It’s faint, barely a flicker, but it’s there.

Kyuhyun: (his voice breaking, eyes filled with tears)
"I… I don’t know if I can…"

Leeteuk: (shaking his head, his tone fierce but filled with love)
"You can, Kyuhyun. You will. We’re going to help you every single step of the way. But you need to believe in yourself as much as we believe in you."

Kyuhyun’s Mother: (sobbing, taking Kyuhyun’s hand in hers)
"We almost lost you, Kyuhyun. Please, please don’t ever do that again. I beg you. You’re our son, and we love you so much. We’ll do whatever it takes to help you get through this."

Kyuhyun’s heart clenches at the sight of his mother’s tears, at the raw love and desperation in her voice. He realizes now, more than ever, that he’s not alone. He has people who care about him, who love him deeply—even in his darkest moments. He takes a deep breath, feeling the ventilator’s support, and nods slowly, tears still flowing.

Kyuhyun: (voice barely above a whisper)
"I’ll try… I’ll try to keep fighting."

Leeteuk exhales in relief, his hand gripping Kyuhyun’s shoulder a little tighter, and for the first time in a long while, a small, tired smile crosses his face.

Leeteuk: (nodding, his voice gentle)
"That’s all we ask, Kyuhyun. That’s all we ask."

Chapter Text

**Scene: Rehabilitation Center, Early Morning**  

Kyuhyun has been in the rehabilitation center for several weeks, and though he knows it's a necessary part of his recovery, every day feels like an uphill battle. His body, once agile and responsive, now betrays him at every move. The other members of Super Junior have stayed by his side, offering support, but even they can’t fully comprehend the weight of his new reality.

Kyuhyun is lying flat on the therapy bed. His body, clad in loose-fitting clothes to make adjustments easier, looks frail. His once strong limbs are thinner now, his muscles visibly wasted from months of immobility. The therapist prepares to start passive range-of-motion exercises, designed to keep his joints flexible and prevent muscle contractures.

Physical Therapist: (explaining as they work)
"We’ll start with your arms today, Kyuhyun. I’m going to move your arms for you to keep the joints flexible. You won’t feel much, but it’s important that we do this to prevent your muscles from tightening up too much."

The therapist gently lifts Kyuhyun’s right arm, carefully cradling his elbow to ensure no unnecessary strain is placed on his shoulder joint.

Kyuhyun: (grimacing slightly)
"I can’t even tell when you’re moving it. It’s like it’s not even mine anymore."

As the therapist moves his arm, Kyuhyun's fingers twitch slightly, not from voluntary movement but due to the nerve signals that sporadically fire through his weakened muscles. His body reacts to the motion, but his brain can’t control it.

Kyuhyun: (frustrated)
"Every time you move me, it feels like I’m watching a puppet. My body is doing things, but it’s not me."

Leeteuk, standing nearby, places a hand on Kyuhyun’s shoulder, offering silent support. He can see the frustration in his friend’s eyes but knows there’s little he can do to ease it.

The therapist continues, moving to Kyuhyun’s left arm. Though there’s no pain, Kyuhyun can feel the strain in his neck muscles as his body reacts to being manipulated. The lack of control gnaws at him. His fingers tremble slightly as the therapist bends and straightens his elbow, the motions smooth and deliberate.

Next, the therapist focuses on Kyuhyun’s legs. She carefully removes the straps that keep his legs secured, and his limbs lie limp and unmoving on the bed. The atrophy in his legs is more pronounced here—his once muscular calves and thighs have thinned dramatically, a harsh reminder of how long his body has been inactive.

Physical Therapist: (softly)
"Now, let’s work on your legs. I know it feels strange, but this will help prevent contractures and improve circulation."

The therapist begins to lift Kyuhyun’s right leg. His knee bends slightly, though Kyuhyun can’t feel the motion. He watches with a detached gaze as his leg moves up and down, almost like it belongs to someone else.

Suddenly, Kyuhyun’s leg spasms involuntarily. His quadriceps contract suddenly, and his leg jerks slightly, startling both him and the therapist.

Kyuhyun : (gritting his teeth)
"That’s new... the spasms. I don’t know if I hate the numbness or the spasms more."

Yesung, who has been quietly observing, steps forward. His eyes reflect concern, though he tries to keep his voice light.

Yesung:
"Maybe your body’s trying to remind you it’s still there, even if you can’t control it. It’s frustrating, but it’s something, right?"

Kyuhyun: (sighing)
"Yeah, something. But I’d rather it just work properly."

The therapist continues moving Kyuhyun’s legs, flexing his knees and rotating his ankles. His feet, once used to dancing across stages, now hang limp, barely responding to the movements. Once in a while, a random spasm ripples through his calf, causing his foot to twitch slightly. The sensation is strange and disconcerting to Kyuhyun, who can’t predict when it will happen.

After the range-of-motion exercises, the therapist moves on to the breathing exercises. Kyuhyun, because of his tracheostomy, has been dealing with weakened diaphragm muscles. Strengthening those muscles is essential for helping him breathe more independently.

The therapist places her hands on Kyuhyun’s diaphragm, just below his ribcage, and instructs him on how to take deep breaths, focusing on using his diaphragm rather than his chest.

Physical Therapist:
"Okay, Kyuhyun, I want you to breathe in deeply through your nose, pushing your diaphragm out as much as you can. Try to feel the pressure here."

Kyuhyun’s face contorts as he tries to comply. His neck muscles tense visibly as he strains to take in a deep breath. Despite the machine-assisted breathing, Kyuhyun feels like he’s suffocating every time he tries to push his diaphragm harder. His chest feels tight, and his body resists the effort. It’s exhausting.

Kyuhyun: (panting)
"It’s like... trying to breathe underwater. I can’t... I can’t push enough air in."

Eunhyuk, watching from the side, steps forward, unable to hide his concern.

Eunhyuk:
"Kyuhyun, you’re doing great. Don’t push too hard. Just... take it easy."

But Kyuhyun, ever the perfectionist, refuses to back down. He takes another strained breath, his diaphragm barely moving, but he pushes through, desperate to regain some semblance of control over his own body.

Kyuhyun: (with effort)
"I can’t just... take it easy, Eunhyuk. If I don’t push... I won’t get better."

His breath hitches, and a coughing fit takes over. His body convulses slightly, the tracheostomy tube vibrating as his chest heaves. The therapist immediately places her hand on his back, helping to stabilize him as the cough subsides.

Leeteuk: (stepping in)
"Kyuhyun, it’s okay. We know you’re trying. Just don’t overdo it. We’re all here for you."

The next part of Kyuhyun’s rehab session is the wheelchair transfer. He watches as the therapist and nurse prepare the sling for the mechanical lift. His body, heavy with the weight of immobility, feels like dead weight as they position the sling under him.

Kyuhyun: (with a half-hearted chuckle)
"Always wanted to fly... but not like this."

The members, who are watching silently, let out a slight chuckle, but their eyes are laced with a hint of sadness. It’s still difficult for them to see Kyuhyun—once full of life, now so reliant on machines and others for even the most basic movements.

As the lift slowly raises Kyuhyun from the bed, his body sways gently, suspended in the sling. His legs dangle, lifeless, and his head rests against the edge of the sling. The nurse carefully guides him into his motorized wheelchair, adjusting the headrest and securing the chest, waist, and thigh straps that keep him stable.

Kyuhyun: (quietly)
"I hate this part the most."

Shindong, trying to offer some comfort, steps forward with a soft smile.

Shindong:
"Just think of it as a VIP ride. You’re getting the first-class treatment."

Kyuhyun: (managing a weak smile)
"Yeah... VIP for a body that doesn’t even work anymore."

Once in the chair, the therapist instructs Kyuhyun on how to use the Sip-and-Puff device along with the head arrays. The therapist adjusts the head array system behind his head, ensuring the sensors on either side are perfectly aligned to detect even the slightest tilt, while a slim, curved tube—the sip-and-puff control—rests just in front of his lips. Together, these devices offer him control over his wheelchair: the sip-and-puff device for moving forward and stopping, and the head arrays for steering left and right, compensating for his lack of movement in his arms and hands.

Kyuhyun studies the setup with mixed emotions. The system represents freedom—a semblance of independence—but it also highlights his limitations. His neck muscles, weakened from disuse, already feel the strain of simply holding his head upright.

Physical Therapist : (gently explaining)
"Alright, Kyuhyun, let’s go through this step by step. To move forward, give a strong puff into the tube. A short sip will stop the chair. For steering, press your head lightly against the left or right side of the head arrays. Go slow and focus on keeping your head steady. Remember, small, deliberate movements are all you need."

Kyuhyun nods slightly, his lips trembling as they hover near the tube. To most, it’s just an unfamiliar object—a mobility device they might not even have encountered their entire life. But to him, it represents something far bigger. This device is now his connection to freedom, to movement, to some semblance of independence. But maneuvering it feels like scaling a mountain. His neck muscles, already strained from the breathing exercises, tremble slightly from fatigue.

Kyuhyun : (quietly to himself)
"Alright… let’s do this."

He draws a shaky breath and exhales sharply into the tube. The wheelchair jerks forward a few inches, the sudden movement startling him. His eyes widen as he tries to steady himself, his head tilting slightly backward. The motor hums softly, waiting for his next command. He focuses on the sensors, trying to remember the instructions.

With careful precision, he tilts his head toward the right sensor, initiating a turn. The wheelchair responds, but the motion is sharper than he intended, and the chair veers dangerously close to the therapy bed. His breath catches, and he quickly takes a sip to stop the movement. The abrupt stop jolts him slightly, and frustration flares in his chest.

Kyuhyun : (frustrated, voice shaking)
"Damn it… Why is this so hard?"

He leans back against the headrest, his neck muscles trembling from the effort. The strain burns in his shoulders and radiates upward, leaving him breathless. He sits in his chair, chest heaving, his frustration palpable.

Ryeowook, watching the struggle, steps forward instinctively, his hand hovering near the control panel.

Ryeowook : (softly, concerned)
"Kyuhyun, take it easy. You don’t have to get it perfect right away."

But Kyuhyun, ever the perfectionist, shakes his head, his voice strained but determined.

Kyuhyun :
"No… I need to get this right. I can’t just… rely on you guys for everything. I need this."

His words hang in the air, heavy with the weight of his frustration and fear. The members exchange glances, unsure of how to respond. They want to help, but they know Kyuhyun’s pride won’t allow it. He needs to feel some sense of control, even if it’s just over this small movement.

Summoning his determination, Kyuhyun tries again. He exhales into the tube, and the wheelchair begins to move forward smoothly. His neck muscles quiver as he tilts his head slightly to the left, engaging the sensor. This time, the turn is controlled, and the chair glides across the room in a gentle arc. There’s a flicker of accomplishment in his eyes, though it’s overshadowed by the sheer exhaustion he feels from the effort.

Kyuhyun : (panting slightly, trying to hide his fatigue)
"Okay… it’s not perfect, but… it’s something."

He pauses, leaning his head back against the headrest. The effort leaves him drained, sweat beading on his forehead. His head droops slightly, a clear sign that his body has reached its limit for the day. But Kyuhyun, known for his sheer determination and a strong desire to push himself, is not willing to call it a day just yet.

He picked his head up again, took a deep breath, and began maneuvering the chair. However, before he is able to start steering the wheelchair, a sudden spasm ripples through his shoulder, causing an involuntary tilt toward one of the sensors. The wheelchair lurches unexpectedly, bumping into the therapy bed.

Eunhyuk : (stepping forward quickly, his voice full of concern)
"Kyuhyun, stop for a second. You’re overdoing it."

Reluctantly, Kyuhyun leans back against the headrest, closing his eyes briefly in frustration. His chest heaves, and the fire in his neck muscles refuses to subside.

Kyuhyun : (muttering)
"I can’t even control my own damn head… How am I supposed to do this every day?"

The room falls silent for a moment. The other members are watching him, their expressions a mixture of empathy and helplessness. They want to support him, but they know this battle is one Kyuhyun has to face himself. It’s not just about the physical strength; it’s about coming to terms with the new reality of his body.

Siwon, who has been standing quietly at the back, finally speaks up, his voice gentle but firm.

Siwon : (his voice steady, gentle)
"You’re doing more than you think, Kyuhyun. Just getting this far is a big step. No one expects you to get everything right immediately."

Kyuhyun opens his eyes, glancing at Siwon. His face softens just a little, though the frustration remains etched in his expression.

Kyuhyun : (sighing)
"I know… It’s just… I hate feeling this weak. I hate that this is my life now."

His voice cracks slightly, the vulnerability in his words cutting through the room. The other members shift uncomfortably, not because they’re awkward, but because they hate seeing their friend like this—so defeated, so stripped of the confidence that once defined him.

Leeteuk : (walking over, his hand resting on Kyuhyun’s shoulder)
"You’re not weak, Kyuhyun. Look at everything you’ve been through and how far you’ve come. It’s okay to feel frustrated, but don’t forget that you’re still you. We’re all here, and we’re not going anywhere."

Kyuhyun’s eyes welled up with unshed tears, but he didn't let them fall. Instead, he just nods, taking in his hyung’s words. There’s a part of him that still feels the weight of his condition, but another part—a smaller part—is beginning to accept that this journey, as hard as it is, doesn’t have to be walked alone.

Kyuhyun : (quietly)
"Thanks… I’ll get there. I have to."

He leans forward again, puffing into the tube to move the chair a few more inches. This time, the motion is smoother, more controlled. It’s not perfect, but it’s progress. And for now, that’s enough.

By the end of the session, Kyuhyun is physically and emotionally exhausted. The members gather around him, offering words of encouragement, but Kyuhyun’s thoughts are heavy.

As they wheel him back to his room, Kyuhyun stares at the ceiling, his mind racing. He can’t help but wonder if all of this—this pain, this struggle—will ever be enough. Will he ever regain even a fraction of what he lost?

But as he looks at the faces of his members, their unwavering support, he knows one thing for certain: no matter how broken his body may be, his heart and spirit are still intact. And as long as they are with him, he will keep fighting—no matter how hard the battle gets.

Chapter Text

**Scene: After Rehab – Hospital Room**

Kyuhyun is back in his hospital room after a long day of rehab. The sterile white walls of the hospital seem cold, but the room is warmed by the presence of the Super Junior members who have stayed by his side throughout his journey. As he rests in his motorized wheelchair, looking out of the large window, a calm evening glow fills the space. 

His body feels heavy, not just from the exhaustion of rehab but from the weight of this new reality that’s settled into his life. There’s a small table next to him with a tray of food. It’s a simple meal, but for Kyuhyun, the task of eating has become a complex series of adjustments and accommodations. An aide has prepared the food to be easy to swallow and cut into small pieces.

Kyuhyun: (looking at the food with a mix of determination and resignation)
"Well… this should be fun."

Ryeowook, sitting beside him, reaches out with a smile, holding a spoon and making light of the moment to lift Kyuhyun’s spirits.

Ryeowook: (grinning)
"I've always wanted to be your personal chef, you know. Guess I finally got my wish."

Kyuhyun chuckles softly, appreciating the attempt at humor.

Kyuhyun: (playfully)
"Yeah, well, don’t get too used to it. As soon as I can hold a spoon again, you’re out of a job."

Ryeowook laughs and gently feeds him, taking care to make sure Kyuhyun doesn’t feel rushed. Each spoonful takes longer than it used to, but Kyuhyun has learned to pace himself, chewing slowly, swallowing carefully. 

Kyuhyun: (in between bites, softly)
"It’s the little things I miss the most, you know? Like just… holding a spoon. You never think about it until it’s gone."

Ryeowook nods, his smile fading slightly as he processes Kyuhyun’s words.

Ryeowook:
"I know, Kyuhyun. But you’ll get used to things… a new way of doing stuff. And we’ll be here to make sure you don’t have to do it alone."

There’s a quiet understanding between them. Kyuhyun continues to eat, grateful but not outwardly expressing it. It’s the same silent gratitude he’s always had, just now more evident in his small nods and the way he lets his members help him without protest.

After dinner, Leeteuk and Shindong come into the room to help Kyuhyun with his nightly routine. There’s no longer a sense of awkwardness in these moments—just a quiet acceptance of what needs to be done. They’ve all grown accustomed to helping him with transfers, and even though Kyuhyun can’t assist with the movements, he’s learned to communicate more clearly when he needs adjustments.

Leeteuk: (softly, as they approach the bed)
"Kyuhyun, do you want to get transferred to the bed now? Or do you want to use the bathroom first?"

Kyuhyun takes a deep breath. He hates this part—not just the act, but the dependency it demands. But he’s long past letting his pride get in the way.

Kyuhyun: (nodding)
"Bathroom first, please."

Leeteuk presses a button to call for assistance from the nurse. They need help with transfers for bathroom use, as it requires precision to prevent injury. A few moments later, the nurse enters, guiding them through the process as they use a hoist lift to transfer Kyuhyun from his chair to the bathroom commode. 

The room is quiet, and while the task is delicate and awkward, the members maintain a sense of normalcy.

Shindong: (breaking the silence, softly)
"You’re doing great, Kyuhyun. I know it’s a lot, but you’re handling it better than anyone could."

Kyuhyun looks over at Shindong with a half-smile, appreciating the support without needing to voice it.

Kyuhyun: (dryly)
"Well, when you don’t have much of a choice… you just get used to it, right?"

After using the bathroom, Kyuhyun is transferred back to his wheelchair. The whole process leaves him feeling both physically drained and emotionally weary, but he hides it well, not wanting to burden the others. Still, they can sense it.

The final transfer of the night is the one Kyuhyun dreads the least—getting into bed. The hoist machine hums as it lifts him out of the chair, carefully lowering him onto the soft mattress. His body, though mostly immobile, still shifts slightly with the movement, and his legs, strapped to prevent spasms, lie limply against the sheets.

Siwon enters the room just as the transfer finishes. He watches quietly as Leeteuk and Shindong adjust Kyuhyun’s body into a more comfortable position on the bed, placing pillows strategically to keep him supported.

Siwon: (softly)
"How’s it going, Kyu?"

Kyuhyun: (sighing, lying back)
"It’s going. Just another day."

Siwon walks over to the bed, sitting down beside Kyuhyun.

Siwon:
"You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Every day you’re doing more."

Kyuhyun turns his head slightly, looking at his friend with tired eyes.

Kyuhyun:
"Yeah, but some days it just feels like I’m surviving, not really living."

The room goes quiet for a moment, the weight of his words settling over them all. They know he’s not just talking about the physical struggles, but the emotional toll this journey is taking on him.

Leeteuk, always the leader, leans down, his voice gentle but firm.

Leeteuk:
"You are living, Kyuhyun. And every day is a step forward. It doesn’t matter how small. You’ve come so far already."

Kyuhyun nods slightly, not saying anything, but his expression softens. He knows they’re right. He knows he’s made progress, even if it feels painfully slow. But it’s hard to shake the feeling of loss, of mourning the person he used to be.

As the members begin to leave the room, Kyuhyun closes his eyes, his body finally relaxing into the bed. His mind races with thoughts, but for once, the quiet presence of his friends helps him feel just a little less alone.

As he drifts off to sleep, Kyuhyun’s thoughts circle back to his performance on stage, his fans, and the music that still beats within him. He may have lost control of his body, but his voice, his passion, remains. And for tonight, that’s enough.

Kyuhyun: (whispering to himself)
"Tomorrow… I’ll try again."

And with that quiet promise, he lets sleep take him, surrounded by the unwavering support of his brothers.

Chapter Text

**Scene: Morning Routine – Kyuhyun’s Day Begins**

The room is dimly lit as the first rays of sunlight pierce through the hospital curtains. Kyuhyun, lying on his hospital bed with his head slightly elevated, is already awake, his eyes gazing at the ceiling. He’s been awake for a while, feeling the familiar sensation of his body’s immobility. His mind is alert, but his body remains still—a constant reminder of his quadriplegia.

A soft knock on the door signals the start of his morning routine. A nurse enters, greeting Kyuhyun with a gentle smile as she sees that he is already awake. Kyuhyun waits as the nurse moves swiftly around the room, his eyes following her motions out of habit. He’s grown used to the sound of the wheels from the medical equipment, the rhythmic beeps, and the soft swish of curtains being pulled. 

Nurse: (softly)
"Good morning, Kyuhyun-ssi. Let’s start your day, okay?"

She begins by checking his tracheostomy tube, inspecting the opening in his neck. Carefully, she cleans around the site with saline, the cool liquid offering a brief sensation against his skin. There’s a slight tugging at the edges of the tube where it connects to his body, a sensation Kyuhyun has grown used to over the weeks, though he still clenches his jaw every time.

Kyuhyun :
“ Just part of the routine…”

The nurse prepares for suctioning, and Kyuhyun instinctively braces himself. No matter how many times it’s been done, the sensation of having the catheter inserted into his trachea never feels any less invasive. His throat feels tight, anticipating the discomfort that’s coming.

Nurse : (gently)
“Alright, Kyuhyun-ssi. I’ll be suctioning now. As usual, it may feel a bit uncomfortable, but I’ll go as quickly as I can, okay?”

Kyuhyun nods slightly, his lips pressing together into a thin line as he takes a deep breath. He feels the catheter being inserted into the trach tube, the thin, flexible instrument sliding down into his windpipe. His body reacts instinctively, a deep, uncontrollable cough bubbling up as the tube triggers his airway.

Kyuhyun :
“ Here it comes…”

His chest tightens, his throat spasms, and he feels the burning urge to cough. He can’t help it—the sensation of choking overwhelms him for a few seconds, his body fighting against the foreign intrusion. A harsh cough erupts, his chest jerking forward involuntarily as the suctioning starts. The discomfort is raw and sharp, a mix of choking and breathlessness.

Kyuhyun : (gasping slightly between coughs)
“...ugh…”

The nurse works quickly, the suction clearing the mucus that has built up inside his airway. Kyuhyun’s throat feels raw, the cough uncontrollable even as he tries to suppress it. Tears form in the corners of his eyes, a natural response to the irritation in his trachea.

The nurse pulls the catheter out, and Kyuhyun feels the immediate relief as his airway clears, though his chest still feels tight, his breathing ragged. He swallows hard, trying to calm the lingering discomfort in his throat. His breath finally evens out, assisted by the ventilator’s steady rhythm.

Nurse : (soothingly)
“Almost done. You’re doing great.”

Next, she prepares for the tracheostomy tube change, and Kyuhyun’s eyes follow her movements. He’s familiar with the process, but it never feels any less invasive. The old tube is carefully disconnected, and for a moment, there’s an odd sensation of emptiness—air briefly passing through his neck without the assistance of the tube. His body feels exposed, vulnerable.

Kyuhyun :
“ It feels like there’s a hole in me… well, there is a hole in me.”

Kyuhyun glances down at the mirror placed in front of him on the table, catching a glimpse of the trach site. He’s gotten used to it, the small hole at the base of his neck, but every now and then, it still catches him off guard—the sight of it, the reminder of his dependence on machines.

The new tube is inserted, sliding into place with a gentle but firm push. There’s another bout of discomfort as his throat reacts to the shift, his chest rising sharply as he fights the urge to cough again. The process is quick, but his body never fails to remind him that it’s not natural. Another small cough escapes his lips as he adjusts to the sensation.

Kyuhyun : (voice hoarse)
“I’m... fine. I’m fine.”

The nurse wipes the area clean, placing fresh gauze around the opening to keep the skin dry. Kyuhyun exhales deeply, his body relaxing now that the worst is over. His throat still feels raw, and there’s a lingering tightness in his chest, but the discomfort is something he’s learned to endure.

Kyuhyun :
“ It’s just... part of me now. Another thing to live with.”

Next comes the catheter bag, which the nurse replaces with practiced hands. Kyuhyun watches as she grabs the tubing that leads from his catheter to the urine bag, giving it a quick glance to check for any blockages or leaks. The urine bag, partially filled, hangs discreetly at the side of his bed, connected by a small tube that snakes under his blanket. It’s been months since he’s felt the urge to use the bathroom like he used to. The muscles that once controlled those functions no longer respond, and he has learned to accept that fact.

The nurse gently detaches the old bag, ensuring that no urine spills during the process. She holds it carefully, twisting the valve to drain its contents into a measuring container, noting the volume with clinical precision. Once emptied, she wipes the connection point clean with an antiseptic wipe and sets the old bag aside.

Nurse : (glancing at the measurement)
"Okay, looks like everything’s normal today. The output is within the usual range. No signs of infection or anything to worry about. You’re staying right on track."

Kyuhyun: (smiling lightly)
“Nice.”

She then pulls a new bag out from a sterile package. It’s transparent, with volume markings on the side, and a long, flexible tube that will connect back to the catheter. The nurse carefully attaches it to the end of the catheter, making sure the connection is secure. She checks the tubing for any kinks, giving it a gentle tug to ensure it’s positioned correctly under his leg and not pressing against his skin.

She then loops the new bag’s straps around a hook on the side of his wheelchair for when he transfers later, positioning it so it’s out of the way and discreet. Kyuhyun appreciates how she handles the situation with dignity, keeping everything as unobtrusive as possible, even though it’s an unavoidable part of his life now.

Kyuhyun: (quietly)
"Thanks for always being so careful with that."

Nurse: (smiling)
"You're welcome. Let me know if anything feels off, okay?"

The next part of his routine is the hygiene care. Since Kyuhyun can’t shower or bathe like he used to, his caregivers wash him with a warm towel. It’s a private moment, one that makes Kyuhyun feel more exposed than he’d like, but it’s necessary. They carefully wash his face, arms, and torso, paying extra attention to the skin around his tubes and pressure points to prevent sores.

In the midst of all the tubings and medical devices, what stood out the most was still the scars on his torso, the visible traces of the accident left on his body. The scars, once radiating an angry redness, have now faded to a muted pink, softened by the passage of time. 

The nurse moves to his lower body, gently cleaning his legs. The muscles have atrophied over time, giving his once strong legs a thin, frail appearance. Kyuhyun avoids looking at them too much—it’s still hard to accept how much his body has changed.

Kyuhyun: (in his mind)
"I used to run around stage… now I can’t even feel my own legs."

After the washing, the nurse carefully applies lotion to prevent his skin from drying out and gets him dressed. She gently lifts the shirt over his head, guiding the fabric around the tracheostomy site, making sure not to tug or irritate the area. She adjusts the shirt over his torso, smoothing it down over his chest.

She then moves to his legs, pulling up the loose pants. As she slides the pants up, she carefully navigates the urinary catheter tubing, making sure it doesn't snag or shift. She works with practiced efficiency, lifting his legs gently and making sure the catheter bag remains secure and out of the way. Once the pants are up, she tugs gently on the waistband to keep it from pressing against the catheter site.

Once Kyuhyun is all dressed up, the nurse brings over the mechanical hoist to begin the transfer from the bed to his motorized wheelchair. It’s a delicate process, and though Kyuhyun has experienced it countless times, there’s always a sense of vulnerability.

Kyuhyun: (mentally bracing himself)
"Here we go."

The lift hums softly as it raises him from the bed, his body hanging suspended for a moment. His arms and legs dangle loosely, unable to assist in the movement. Despite the safety of the hoist, Kyuhyun’s heart still races slightly—it never feels completely normal to be so reliant on a machine to simply sit up. Once the transfer is complete, the nurse adjusts his headrest, making sure his neck is comfortably supported and does one final adjustment to the pillows around Kyuhyun, positioning it comfortably to support his posture in the chair.

Kyuhyun: (trying to stay upbeat)
"Well, that was smooth."

Nurse: (with a chuckle)
"You always make it look easy."

After transferring Kyuhyun into his chair, the nurse wheels him into the bathroom for his morning wash. Kyuhyun’s electric toothbrush is placed into his mouth by the nurse. He can’t hold it himself, so she moves it gently across his teeth. The vibrations of the toothbrush are oddly comforting in their routine nature. 

Kyuhyun: (voice muffled)
"Make sure you get the back teeth."

The nurse smiles and adjusts the brush accordingly. He has learned to joke about the little things, even though there’s always an undercurrent of frustration. When the brushing is done, she wipes his face and adjusts the neck support again.

His breakfast tray is brought in—soft foods cut into small pieces, making it easy to eat. Kyuhyun can’t hold utensils, so the nurse feeds him. Spoonful after spoonful, he swallows, feeling both grateful and uncomfortable with the dependence. He’s careful to avoid choking, especially with the tracheostomy.

Kyuhyun: (swallowing hard)
"I miss using my own hands."

Nurse: (encouraging)
"I know. But you’re doing great, Kyuhyun-ssi."

She feeds him slowly, giving him time between bites. Kyuhyun isn’t much of a talker during meals, so the nurse hums softly to fill the silence.

After breakfast, Kyuhyun sits quietly in his chair, the Sip-and-Puff device positioned gently near his lips. At this point, he has learned how to control his breath and head tilts to move the chair smoothly, a skill that took time to master. He looks at the window, the world outside seeming so far away. 

Kyuhyun: (thinking)
"It’s hard not to think about the ‘before.’ Before the accident, before everything changed. I used to wake up and jump out of bed, ready to take on the day. Now… now it’s all so slow. Everything takes time, and I can’t rush it. I have to wait—for someone to lift me, to wash me, to feed me."

He lets out a sigh, his eyes focusing on the far distance.

Kyuhyun : (whispering)
"I wonder if I’ll ever get used to this… truly get used to it."

He knows the answer, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Later in the morning, after finishing his usual routine, Kyuhyun finds himself in a quiet corner of the hospital room. His wheelchair is positioned by a small desk, and in front of him is his phone, propped up on a stand designed to make it easier for him to interact with it. He’s grown accustomed to using a specialized mouth stick—a long, thin rod with a padded end—that allows him to do many daily tasks despite his quadriplegia.

Using the head arrays, Kyuhyun carefully maneuvers his wheelchair into the right position. His head tilts slightly as he adjusts his position to line up with the mouth stick resting on the desk. Using a slight movement of his neck and chin, he grips the mouth stick between his teeth, gently holding it in place. This tool has become his way of interacting with the world—a necessity after losing the use of his hands.

Kyuhyun: (quietly to himself)
"Alright, let’s see what today’s schedule looks like", a hint of excitement in his voice.

Today, after what felt like endless months of rehabilitation, Kyuhyun has finally been given the green light to join the other members in practice. It wasn’t just any other ordinary practice, it was the rehearsal for their 20th anniversary concert, and Kyuhyun will be there, as always. This however, will be his first time stepping into the practice room again after the accident.

Kyuhyun leans forward slightly, bringing the tip of the mouth stick close to the screen of his phone. He carefully taps at the screen with the precision he’s developed over time. He navigates through the apps, checking his messages and social media. Each movement of the stick is deliberate, requiring concentration.

The screen lights up with notifications, including messages from the Super Junior members and a few fans on social media. Kyuhyun swipes slowly, his movements steady, though the process takes much longer than it once did.

Kyuhyun: (mentally reflecting)
"I used to scroll through all this in seconds. Now, I’m lucky if I can reply to a single message in five minutes."

He doesn’t dwell on the frustration though—it’s just part of the process now. Kyuhyun taps out a short message to one of the members using a speech-to-text app on his phone. His lips twitch into a small smile as the app picks up his words and converts them into text.

Kyuhyun:
"Almost done with my morning routine. See you at practice."

He reviews the message with the mouth stick, then taps “send.”

Next, he opens his fan messaging app. The fans have been a source of strength for Kyuhyun, even though interacting with them has become more difficult. He scrolls through messages of encouragement and love. Using the mouth stick, he manages to click on a few messages, reading them with a mix of gratitude and longing. It’s comforting to see so much support, but it also reminds him of how much things have changed.

Kyuhyun: (softly, to himself)
"Thank you for sticking with me through all this."

He carefully uses the mouth stick to respond with a simple message:
“Thank you for your love and support. It means the world to me.”

Every now and then, Kyuhyun pauses, readjusting the stick in his mouth. He’s grown stronger in the neck muscles, but the effort still tires him out. After a while, he carefully places the stick back into its holder, taking a break.

Kyuhyun: (taking a deep breath)
"That’s enough for now."

The effort required to do such simple tasks is exhausting, even though he’s used to it by now. His head tilts back slightly as he rests against the headrest of his wheelchair. He closes his eyes for a moment, letting himself breathe deeply.

As he sits there, alone with his thoughts, Kyuhyun reflects on the stark difference between his life now and before the accident. It’s a constant battle between his mind, which still feels sharp and capable, and his body, which no longer responds the way he wants it to.

Kyuhyun: (thinking)
"I never imagined I’d be using a stick in my mouth just to send a message… But at least I can still connect. That’s something."

The thought gives him a small sense of accomplishment. Despite everything, he’s still fighting—still finding ways to stay engaged with the world, even if it looks different now.

As he finishes scrolling, Kyuhyun carefully places the mouth stick back in its holder, positioning it within easy reach for when he needs it later. He maneuvers his chair to the window, looking outside at the city skyline. There’s a quiet determination in his eyes as he prepares himself for the day ahead, knowing that despite all the challenges, he’s still here, still moving forward.

Kyuhyun: (with quiet resolve)
"Another day, another challenge. But I’ve got this."

He lets out a deep breath, knowing that every small task he completes is a victory in itself.

Just then, the nurse enters the room again with all his packed belongings, asking if he’s ready to join the Super Junior members in practice.

Kyuhyun: (nodding)
"Yeah, let’s get going. Don’t wanna be late."

His voice carries determination, even if his body can no longer match it. He’s still part of the group, still Kyuhyun, even though everything has changed.

The nurse adjusts his chair, and Kyuhyun takes a deep breath, ready to face another day. It’s not easy, but it’s his reality now, and he’s learning, day by day, to navigate it with strength.

Chapter Text

**Scene: Kyuhyun’s Return to the Practice Room**

Kyuhyun’s return to the practice room is a mix of excitement, nerves, and quiet determination. It’s been months since the accident, and though he’s been through countless hours of rehab, this moment feels monumental—a small step toward reclaiming a piece of his old life. The practice room, once alive with the energy of music, laughter, and synchronized choreography, is now slightly rearranged to accommodate his new needs.

The members are in the midst of stretching when the door to their practice room swings open. They immediately pause their warm-ups, glancing at the entrance with anticipation. Slowly, Kyuhyun maneuvers his chair into the room, while an aide follows behind, carrying all his belongings. The hum of the chair fills the space as he makes his way inside, and the others quickly gather around him, their faces lighting up at the sight of their friend finally returning.

Leeteuk: (grinning broadly, clapping his hands together)
"There he is! Our maknae’s back!"

Heechul: (teasingly, but with warmth)
"Took you long enough, huh? We’ve been waiting."

Eunhyuk and Donghae rush over, their eyes showing both joy and concern. They don’t hesitate to lean down, patting Kyuhyun on the shoulder. The atmosphere is cheerful, but there’s a palpable sense of carefulness in every movement.

Donghae: (smiling, his voice gentle)
"It’s great to have you back, Kyuhyun. Really. We’ve missed you."

Kyuhyun: (smiling, though a bit shy)
"Yeah, I’ve missed this too... Being back here."

The room has been subtly altered; extra space has been cleared, equipment moved aside, and small ramps installed to make navigation easier for Kyuhyun. There’s also a designated spot for him near the mirror, where he can observe without feeling in the way. Practice today is not just about choreography, but about rediscovering their dynamic as a team with Kyuhyun in his new reality.

Kyuhyun watches as the members resume stretching, his eyes following their familiar movements. He can’t dance like before, but the team has devised a set of small movements to keep him engaged. They work on breath control, facial expressions, and vocal harmonies that he can perform from his wheelchair. The members frequently involve him in vocal warm-ups, and though his body is still, his voice remains strong and clear.

Yesung: (moving closer to Kyuhyun)
"How about we run through the harmonies for the new song? We can work on your timing from there."

Kyuhyun: (nodding slightly)
"Yeah, sounds good. At least my voice still works."

They laugh, the lightheartedness making the moment feel almost normal.

As the practice continues, Kyuhyun immerses himself in the session. Though he can’t join in the choreography, he focuses on perfecting his vocals - something that allows him to maintain a sense of purpose in the group. But after a while, something begins to feel off. A faint flush of heat seems to radiate from his neck to his face, and beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He’s panting slightly now, his breathing more labored than usual even though he had only been singing all this while. His voice wavers slightly, and his energy starts to sap.

Eunhyuk: (noticing, his brows furrowing)
"Kyuhyun, are you okay? Why is your face so red?"

The members immediately pause, glancing at Kyuhyun with concern. Kyuhyun hesitates for a moment, reluctant to admit to discomfort.

Kyuhyun: (quietly, almost reluctant to say it)
"I think... I feel a bit heated up."

The aide, who has been watching the rehearsal from the sidelines, immediately steps closer, carefully assessing him. They quickly realize the problem: Kyuhyun had come in from the chilly weather outside, bundled in a thick jacket and extra layers underneath. Now, the warm room and the sudden shift in temperature were working against him.

With his injury, Kyuhyun’s body couldn’t adjust to temperature changes like it used to. He couldn’t sweat to cool himself down or shiver to warm up, leaving him highly sensitive to even subtle changes in his surroundings—and this often went without him noticing until it became overwhelming. Going from the cold outdoors to the warmth of the practice room had likely triggered the sudden overheating.

Leeteuk: (frowning, speaking quickly)
"Kyuhyun-ah, let’s help you cool down. You’re probably overheating."

The first thing, of course, was to reduce the layers on his body. Eunhyuk and Donghae move to help with his jacket while the aide steadies Kyuhyun’s torso to ensure he stays upright. Eunhyuk supports one shoulder while Donghae carefully slips the sleeve off one arm, supporting Kyuhyun’s hand to avoid letting it dangle too freely. They repeat the motion on the other side, their movements slow and deliberate.

With the jacket removed, Leeteuk returns with a cold damp towel and presses it gently to Kyuhyun’s flushed cheeks and forehead.

Leeteuk: (soothingly, his voice soft)
"Better now?"

Kyuhyun: (nodding faintly, his voice steadier)
"Yeah... thanks. Sorry, I didn’t realize it would get this warm."

As the group steps back slightly to give him space, Shindong suddenly speaks up, his tone tinged with realization.

Shindong: (blurting out)
"Ahh, wait a second. Didn’t we turn down the air conditioning earlier? It was kinda cold before Kyuhyun arrived just now.

The realization hits the group, and Eunhyuk quickly moves to adjust the thermostat, increasing the airflow in the room.

Eunhyuk: (in realisation)
“No wonder, that was why the room was so warm!”

Donghae: (sheepishly)
"That makes sense... why didn’t we think of that sooner?"

The tension begins to lift as they settle Kyuhyun back into his chair.

Kyuhyun: (softly, his tone wry)
"I’ll try to remind you next time... if I’m not melting first."

The group chuckles at his remark, the warmth of their camaraderie dispelling the earlier worry. The practice resumes shortly after, their banter and laughter filling the room again. The members are now hyper-aware of Kyuhyun’s comfort, ensuring the temperature in the room was kept steady and that he was not straining himself too much to cause another flare-up.

As they wrap up their vocal practice, the members shift their focus to practicing an old choreography—one Kyuhyun was once a vital part of. This particular dance is fast-paced and intense, and Kyuhyun knows he can’t participate anymore, even if he wants to. From his spot near the mirror, he watches the others as they rehearse, his gaze tracking their movements.

Though his expression remains neutral, a shadow of longing flickers across his face. He yearns to join them, to be part of all the movement again. But now, he has no other choice but to sit back and observe as the team adjusts the formation to account for his absence. His lips press together faintly, a mixture of quiet acceptance and a pang of guilt in his chest. He knows they’ve had to rework the routine because of him, and he hates feeling like an inconvenience.

Eunhyuk: (noticing Kyuhyun’s demeanor, pausing mid-step)
"Hey, Kyu. Don’t overthink it. We’ll get this figured out—like we always do."

Ryeowook: (nodding, his tone firm yet gentle)
"Yeah, it’s no big deal. You’re still doing the vocals, and honestly, that’s the most important part."

Leeteuk: (smiling warmly)
"And anyway, you can still monitor us. You’ve got the best view now."

Kyuhyun grins, his lips curving into a faint, reluctant smile.

Eunhyuk: (grinning, playfully)
"You used to give us that ‘are-you-serious’ stare whenever we messed up on stage, didn’t you? Now you can sit here and judge us all you want.

Heechul: (joining in, smirking)
"Keep track of all our mistakes, we’ll need a detailed report after the practice, broken down by member."

The room bursts into laughter, their playful teasing lifting the heaviness Kyuhyun felt.

Kyuhyun: (his voice dry, but tinged with humor)
"Fine. Eunhyuk’s already down by three for that last run-through. Our main dancer, they say."

Eunhyuk: (mock-defensively)
"Yah! You weren’t even paying attention properly!"

Kyuhyun: (grinning now)
"I see everything from here. Don’t question my observations."

Their banter continues, filling the room with warmth and camaraderie. But as the members go through another run of the choreography, Kyuhyun’s gaze softens. He sees the effort they’re putting in—not just into the routine, but into making him feel included. It’s in the way they look at him, the way they joke with him, and the way they make it clear that he still belongs here.

Leeteuk: (patting him gently on the shoulder after the session ends)
"You’re still a part of Super Junior, Kyuhyun. Whether you’re on stage with us or sitting here, you’re part of everything we do."

Kyuhyun: (his voice quiet but steady)
"Thanks, hyung. I’ll make sure my vocals are flawless for this comeback."

Heechul: (grinning)
"And don’t forget, you’re still our best critic. You’re the only one who can roast us and get away with it."

Kyuhyun laughs softly, the sound genuine and light. Though his role has changed, the bond he shares with his team remains unshaken. Surrounded by his brothers, he feels a sense of belonging that no circumstance can take away.

Chapter Text

**Scene: Backstage Before the Concert**

The Super Junior members are gathered backstage, an hour before the concert. It’s a flurry of last-minute preparations—costumes being adjusted, microphones tested, and nervous energy building up. Some members can be seen standing in a quiet corner of the room, warming up their voices, while some in front of a mirror, rehearsing their dance routines.

Today isn’t just any day, it’s the day of their long-awaited 20th anniversary concert, commemorating two decades of music and brotherhood, making this concert more meaningful than ever. Deep in their hearts, they know that this performance carries a different weight—it’s not just a grand comeback; it’s also a statement that Kyuhyun is still part of them, no matter what.

Amidst the commotion backstage, Kyuhyun is seated in his motorized wheelchair, positioned slightly off to the side, quietly watching as everyone around him moves swiftly to get ready. He knows his routine is different now, much slower and deliberate than the others, and despite being used to it, the contrast still stings.

The rest of the Super Junior members are busy preparing themselves, but they discreetly keep an eye on Kyuhyun. Despite his calm exterior, they know this process takes a toll on him.

Leeteuk walks over with a soft smile. He’s always been the one to offer reassurance before shows.

Leeteuk: (gently)
“How are you feeling, Kyuhyun? Need any help with anything?”

Kyuhyun glances at Leeteuk, then at his concert outfit hanging on a nearby rack.

Kyuhyun: (sighing lightly)
“I’m good… just waiting for the fun part. The outfit change.”

Just then, two of Kyuhyun’s personal assistants move in, ready to help Kyuhyun change into his stage outfit. Because he can’t lift his arms or legs, they have to manually transfer him from his usual clothing into his costume. Leeteuk stays by his side, keeping the mood light.

Personal Assistant: (to Kyuhyun)
“Alright, we’re going to lift you now.”

They carefully unbuckle the straps on his wheelchair and position a hoist lift under him. Kyuhyun’s body is fragile from muscle atrophy, and every move has to be slow and calculated. The assistants lift him gently out of the chair using the hoist, his legs dangling limply as they position him onto a nearby medical table to change his clothes.

Kyuhyun: (grimacing slightly but trying to joke)
“I guess I won’t be helping with the quick changes tonight.”

Leeteuk chuckles, but there’s a twinge of sadness in his eyes as he watches the delicate process.

Leeteuk: (half-smiling)
“We’ve got you covered, don’t worry.”

As they pull Kyuhyun’s legs into his pants, he stares down at them for a moment. His legs don’t respond, don’t move unless someone moves them for him. The assistants strap the leg braces over his thighs, necessary to keep his legs from shifting uncontrollably during the concert. Once dressed, they place him back into the wheelchair, ensuring every strap and connection is secure.

Kyuhyun glances at himself in the mirror, seeing his reflection dressed in their stage outfit, a mix of glitzy sequins and black leather. Despite his seated position, he still exudes the charisma that once made him the star of the stage. He gives Leeteuk a small smile, hiding the swirl of emotions that have been building inside him.

Meanwhile, one of the assistants adjusts the harness that keeps Kyuhyun’s body stable in the chair. His torso has weakened significantly due to the quadriplegia, so the straps around his chest and thighs are tightened to keep him upright. His head tilts slightly as the assistant checks the ventilator connected to the tracheostomy tube in his neck, ensuring that everything is functioning smoothly.

Personal Assistant:
“Kyuhyun, I’m just going to adjust the ventilator settings a little. You good?”

Kyuhyun: (softly, nodding as best as he can)
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just… keep it steady tonight.”

The assistant nods and continues working, carefully adjusting the Sip-and-Puff device on his wheelchair. Kyuhyun uses this to move around when he’s on stage.

Yesung comes over next, carrying a small case containing Kyuhyun’s in-ear monitors.

Yesung:
“Before you forget, let’s get your in-ears set up. You’ll want them to be comfortable so you can hear everyone clearly.”

He carefully fits each earpiece into Kyuhyun’s ears, being mindful of any signs of discomfort. He tapes the wires near the bottom of Kyuhyun’s ears—where in-ear wires are usually secured—to keep them from shifting during the performance. Then, he gently guides the remaining cables behind Kyuhyun’s back and secures them so they won’t tangle with the ventilator tubing or harness straps.

Yesung:
“Let me know if it feels too tight or if the wires pull anywhere.”

Kyuhyun:
“A bit snug on the left side… Can you adjust it a little?”

Yesung readjusts the left earpiece, lifting it slightly to accommodate Kyuhyun’s ear shape. He also checks the mic pack clipped near the back of the chair, making sure the cord is taped down securely so it doesn’t snag on the armrest or harness.

Kyuhyun: (exhaling in relief)
“That’s better. Thanks.”

Eunhyuk walks over next, helping adjust the microphone stand that’s specifically designed for Kyuhyun’s wheelchair setup. It’s positioned at just the right height so he can sing without having to strain his neck.

Eunhyuk: (fiddling with the mic)
“This should do it. Try speaking into it, Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun leans his head forward slightly and tests the mic with his usual dry humor.

Kyuhyun:
“Can you hear me? Or am I just a floating voice from the abyss?”

Eunhyuk: (grinning)
“Loud and clear.”

Despite the jokes, there’s a slight tension lingering in the air. The members know that performing isn’t the same for Kyuhyun anymore. His presence on stage is more static, and his movements are limited to subtle head tilts and eye contact. Yet, when he sings, that’s when the old Kyuhyun shines through. It’s the only time he can still fully express himself, and the members respect that space.

Heechul walks over, leaning casually against the wheelchair. His demeanor is light, but there’s an unspoken understanding between him and Kyuhyun.

Heechul: (teasing)
“Don’t get too emotional out there tonight, alright? I don’t want to see you crying like a baby again.”

Kyuhyun: (smirking)
“Says the one who cries more than me.”

Donghae joins in, giving Kyuhyun’s shoulder a light pat, careful not to disturb the medical setup.

Donghae:
“We’ll be right beside you the whole time. Just like always.”

Kyuhyun gives a small nod, appreciating the support, even though he doesn’t always say it out loud. Deep down, he’s battling a wave of intense emotions. The ventilator hums quietly as they make final adjustments, and Kyuhyun’s eyes wander toward the stage entrance.

There’s a flicker of unease as he looks out towards the stage, listening to the sound of the fans chanting outside. They’re here for them, for him, and it’s both a comfort and a pressure that weighs heavily on his shoulders. He’s grateful for the support, but the reality of being on stage without the freedom to move like he once did stirs up a familiar mix of frustration and vulnerability.

Stage Manager: (raising his hand to announce)
“Ok guys, standby, 3 more minutes to go!”

Kyuhyun takes a deep breath. There’s an overwhelming sense of vulnerability in these moments before going out in front of thousands of fans. He knows they’ll see him as strong, as resilient, but inside, it’s hard to shake the feeling of how much he’s lost.

Kyuhyun: (whispering to himself)
“I can do this…”

Leeteuk overhears and gives him an encouraging look.

Leeteuk: (softly)
“You’ve already been doing it, Kyuhyun. Just be yourself.”

Leeteuk then raises his voice to gather the team.

Leeteuk:
“Alright kids, let’s quickly do our group cheer!”

It’s a routine they’ve followed throughout the years—gathering in a circle with their hands piled up in the center before shouting their battle cry: “1, 2, 3, Let’ssss kill it!” This time, though, it’s different. Kyuhyun couldn't participate like usual anymore, so the members adjusted without hesitation.

They form a circle around him, piling their hands on top of Kyuhyun’s that rests silently on the armrest of his wheelchair. The armrest, once a passive feature of his chair, now feels like the core of their connection at this moment.

Eunhyuk: (smiling softly)
“You're still part of this, Kyu. Will always be.”

Leeteuk: (with his usual commanding tone)
“1, 2, 3—”

All Together:
“Let’ssss kill it!”

Instead of pushing their hands downward like they used to, they lifted it upwards instead, as if symbolically lifting Kyuhyun with them. It’s a simple change, but it holds so much meaning—an unspoken promise that they will always lift him up, no matter what.

Kyuhyun’s lips twitch into a small smile, his chest rising and falling slightly with emotion. Even though he can’t physically join in the way he used to, the unity of the moment washes over him. He’s reminded that, no matter what, he’s still part of the team.

As they gather near the entrance, the members slowly take their places, with Kyuhyun front and center in his wheelchair. The ventilator, the straps, the microphone—everything is in place.

As they roll onto the stage and the lights come up, Kyuhyun’s face shows a mix of emotion—excitement, fear, gratitude. He can’t move like he used to, can’t dance, can’t stand, but his voice is still his. His members are still with him. That’s what keeps him going.

The cheers from the crowd are deafening. Fans wave banners and lightsticks, shouting his name. It’s the one moment where Kyuhyun feels like nothing has changed. He’s still Super Junior’s Kyuhyun. He’s still a performer. And despite everything, he’s not alone.

Chapter Text

Scene: Super Junior 20th Anniversary Concert Stage

The concert is at its emotional peak. The stage is illuminated with soft, warm lights, casting a golden glow over the Super Junior members. Kyuhyun is seated in his wheelchair, positioned in the center of the stage. His hands rest still on the armrests, the weight of the moment pressing on his chest. The microphone, secured at the perfect height, is in front of him, waiting.

The audience quiets as Kyuhyun takes a slow breath. His throat tightens, not from nerves, but from the sheer weight of the past year—the struggle, the loss, and now, the return. He blinks hard, willing his emotions under control, but his eyes glisten under the lights.

The microphone amplifies the slight waver in his breath as he finally speaks.

Kyuhyun: (voice shaky but steadying)
"Hello, everyone… it’s Kyuhyun."

The crowd erupts in cheers, a deafening wave of love crashing over the stage. The sound is so familiar yet so overwhelming that Kyuhyun feels his chest tighten. He swallows hard. He thought he had prepared himself for this, but nothing could have braced him for the sheer intensity of the moment.

Kyuhyun: (smiling faintly, trying to keep his composure)
"It’s… been a long time, hasn’t it?"

The murmur of agreement from the audience is gentle but affirming. They know. They’ve waited too.

His lips tremble as he exhales, trying to find the right words, but emotion swells too quickly in his throat. His voice cracks when he continues.

Kyuhyun: (voice breaking, tears pooling in his eyes)
"I-I never thought… I'd be here like this… in front of all of you again."

The crowd quiets, sensing the gravity of the moment. Some fans begin to cry, while others hold up their lightsticks in solidarity, the soft blue glow shimmering like a sea of unwavering support.

Kyuhyun: (looking out at the crowd, struggling through a bittersweet smile)
"I know this isn’t how you’re used to seeing me. I can’t move like I used to. But... I’m still here... because of you."

His members stand around him, close but not suffocating—just enough to let him know that he is not alone. Their faces, usually playful and mischievous, are now filled with quiet understanding, their eyes glossy under the stage lights.

Kyuhyun exhales softly before speaking again, his tone gentle, reflective.

Kyuhyun: (a nostalgic smile forming)
"When the accident happened… I really thought my life was over. I thought I would never sing again, that I’d never be standing on this stage again.”

His lips part slightly as if he wants to say more, but his tears slip down his cheeks before he can stop them. 

Kyuhyun: (swallowing, trying to hold back his tears)
“I thought… that you’d all move on and forget about me."

Immediately, the crowd erupts into a loud, collective denial—voices overlapping in an emotional outcry of “Nooo!” and “Never!” as if trying to reach him, to reassure him. Some fans shake their heads furiously, their voices trembling with emotion.

Siwon, who has been standing nearest to Kyuhyun, instinctively kneels beside his wheelchair. He pulls out a handkerchief from his sleeve, an old habit, and with a tenderness that contrasts with his usual composed demeanor, he gently wipes away Kyuhyun’s tears.

After a moment, Siwon lets out a soft chuckle, his own eyes shimmering. "What's up? I thought you were the self-proclaimed “man with no tears”? How did you end up crying before all of us?," he murmurs, his voice teasing but laced with thick emotions.

Eunhyuk, standing on Kyuhyun’s other side, lets out a small, wet laugh, nudging Kyuhyun’s shoulder carefully. "I know, right? Usually, he’s the one laughing at us crying."

Kyuhyun lets out a watery chuckle, shaking his head slightly, his eyes closed. His tears don’t stop, but neither do his lips from curling into a small, genuine smile.

Behind them, Leeteuk rubs at his own eyes with a slightly embarrassed smile, his shoulders shaking in silent laughter at the irony of it all. Even Heechul, who would normally seize the moment for a witty remark, stays uncharacteristically quiet. He stood with his head down, his fingers absentmindedly rubbing at his nose, a telltale sign of him holding back emotion.

Kyuhyun inhales slowly, blinking hard.

Kyuhyun: (voice steadier now, but softer)
"I never thought… that even in the hardest moments… I’d be this lucky. I may not be able to dance anymore… I may not be able to walk… but as long as I can sing, I’ll never leave you."

The audience erupts in emotion, a sea of banners raised high, many of them reading: Forever with Kyu. Some fans cry openly, while others cheer as loudly as they can, letting him know that even without words, they will always be there.

Donghae, standing a little further back, wipes his eyes discreetly with the back of his hand, but he fails miserably at hiding the tremor in his expression.

Leeteuk steps forward, his hand resting gently on Kyuhyun’s shoulder, the warmth of his grip grounding him. His face is composed, but his eyes, glistening with unspoken words, say more than anything else could.

Kyuhyun breathes in deeply, looking at the faces around him—the fans, the members—and their unwavering presence, their quiet strength.

Kyuhyun: (voice trembling but firm)
"I’ll keep singing for you all… for as long as I can. I don’t know what the future holds. But today… today, I’m here, and that’s all that matters. Thank you… for not giving up on me. I promise I won’t give up on myself either."

Leeteuk, after a moment of silence, turns to face the crowd, a smile tugging at his lips despite the tears in his eyes.

Leeteuk: (voice full of warmth)
"We’ll keep moving forward together. Always. Even on the 30th, the 40th, or the 50th anniversary, even when we’re old and wrinkly, we’d still be here with you. This is a promise, ok?"

The fans erupt into cheers, the emotional weight of the moment settling in. Even though Kyuhyun can no longer perform physically as he once did, the bond between him, his members, and the fans has never been stronger.

The Super Junior members stand united on stage, surrounding Kyuhyun as they face the fans. Though his body may be limited by paralysis, Kyuhyun’s voice and spirit remain strong, an unshakable part of the group and the fandom.

They’re Super Junior, after all.