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Chapter Text

At a young age of 6, Tobio had always wondered why he doesn’t see his brother often like he does with his sister, Miwa. He would be in class or the court sparring with another disciple and when the weekends hit, Tooru would be nowhere to be seen. His seat would be empty during dinner and so would his room. No matter how many times Tobio tried to peek into his brother’s room through the thin shoji, Tooru was never around during weekends. 

Little Tobio would stare out his window and ponder why Tooru would barely interact with him. After all, Tooru was his brother and just a couple steps away from his room was his brother’s. Yet Tobio was able to count with his tiny fingers how many times he interacted with Tooru. Around four to six times, maybe, since he had gained consciousness of his existence. His memories with Tooru were little but controversially memorable for Tooru was a rare sight in his life. Among them was a random day of first snow where Tobio looked up into the sky with awe while Tooru stood beside him, ruffling his hair. Other than those short minuscule moments, his interactions with Tooru remained at a minimum. He had seen Tooru by the courtyards, in class and dinner, but not more than that, as if they were never related to begin with. 

Tobio’s tiny brain could not understand. Tobio had also learnt to never ask his father about things regarding Tooru. Tooru and his father, Kageyama Kokushi, the Clan Leader of Kitagawa Daiichi, were never on good terms. Speaking terms, yes but even at a young age, he knew that Tooru, aged 10 did not like their father. With that, his resort would be his grandfather, Kazuyo, the former Clan Leader, the one man he could ask everything about and who would reply to him in the most patient tone he could.

“Your brother goes back to his other home during the weekends.” Kazuyo explained, sipping his tea.

Tobio cocked his head sideways, confused. “I thought here is home. He has another home?”

“Yes, my dear Tobio. It is in Aoba Johsai.”

“Do I also have another home?

“You do not. Your home is Kitagawa Daiichi, here in the Recesses.”

When Tobio turned 10, he finally understood what his grandfather meant. It was during the weekend when he was having dinner with the family, his sister Miwa by his side when Tooru, who definitely should be in Aoba Johsai, slammed his spoon onto his table. 

“Father. Why am I not allowed to return back to Aoba Johsai?” He asked, seething through his teeth. “You stopped me last week with the reason that you need my help. Why this week as well?”

Kokushi raised an eyebrow, displeased. Tooru had always questioned the way he does things, which in contrast, Tobio did not. “Because there is no need to return.”

“Are you saying I do not have a purpose in Seijoh?” The 14-year old asked, his grip on the table tight, as if he was controlling himself from throwing a fit. “Half my blood is in Aoba-Johsai, you cannot stop me from returning to my motherland.”

“You are also half Kitagawa Daiichi. Just because your mother and brother lived there, does not mean Aoba Johsai is your home.”

“Just because you and mother divorced, does not mean I have no ties with Aoba Johsai.” 

The Clan Leader shot a glare. “May I remind you that the divorce also ties you to Kitagawa Daiichi and not Aoba Johsai?” He pointed out. “You are the next Clan Leader so act like it.”

Tobio approached his grandfather again that late night, demanding a further explanation of the argument during dinner. Kazuyo kept his story simple that Tooru was a child of Kageyama Kokushi and Oikawa Tatsui, youngest son of Oikawa Mirio the Clad Leader of Aoba Johsai, who later divorced when Kokushi bedded a lady he claimed he loved. 

Tobio never understood love. Was love the joy and addiction of sparring with his katana? Was love the fascination that came along every time he saw a bird? What exactly was love? That question let the child ponder. He knew to an extent that a marriage was build on the concept of love and automatically, Kokushi and Tatsui should be in love to be together in the first place. But could love be extended to another person? Is love exclusive? He laid back on his futon and pondered, if the marriage resulted in a divorce, didn’t that mean Kokushi and Tatsui never loved each other?

Tobio did not know.

What he knew was that Tooru never returned back to Aoba Johsai. He also knew Tooru did not like that. He wouldn’t join dinners, regardless of the amount of scolding he received from their father, and would come down only when he felt like it. And when he did, Kokushi wasted zero time chastising him, making their meals an extremely unpleasant experience. So Tobio met less and less of his brother. If he was not in class, he would be in sparring court. If not either, he would be in his room. Once Tobio tried to talk to him, Tooru only glanced at him and walked away.  

Tobio had yet to know the reason why his brother refused to talk to him. He didn’t think he had done anything wrong… to his knowledge at least. He retained his respect for Tooru, even if Tooru couldn’t spare a moment with him.

✧✧✧✧

At 13, Tobio’s first puberty hit. He was no longer the small child hiding behind his sister, but had now towered over her, his height increasing day by day. His strength grew as well, defeating his classmates and newly appointed disciples of Kitagawa Daiichi when he was spared against. Naturally, he became the best fighter at his age, fluent in the language of almost all close combat weaponry, only left to polish whatever was left offered in the Recesses. He had yet to spar with his brother, who the older disciples claim could knock out anyone regardless of strength and build. Naturally, Tobio was eager for a chance to spar with him, maybe get a taste of what his brother’s talent was like. 

But rumors had it that Tobio will one day overtake Tooru in terms of strength.

He didn’t believe that, of course. Tooru was 4 years older and had more experience with the katana, compared to Tobio. While he said that, his own growth was remarkable and slowly his skills were on par with his Tooru. Yet he remained enthusiastic for the possible future where he could swing swords with his brother because no matter what people thought, he didn’t believe he was better than Tooru.

At 14, Tobio’s second puberty hit. He could now smell pheromones and he did not enjoy how it first started. It was overwhelming, his nostrils being hit with different scents all around him. He cried the first time, hiding underneath the blanket of his futon in late winter as his head pounded against his skull. His sister came to soothe him, her beta biology nulling her pheromones. Tobio hugged her like his life depended on it, his own pheromones seeping into the air in copious amounts, for he was now another alpha in the Kitagawa Daiichi clan family registry.

“You are now an alpha and you shall act like it.” were Kokushi’s first words when meeting Tobio who had tears all across his cheeks, still clutching onto Miwa’s kimono for dear life as he looked up at his father glowering over him. “Don’t you dare be like Tooru.”

It didn’t make any sense at that point. Tooru was an alpha and everything about his demeanor and physique screamed alpha and so was his strength, his muscular arms flexing at every swing of the katana. His pheromones were dominating, making every person around him swoon at his presence, especially the omegas, giggling to themselves whenever Tooru passed by. Yet, something to Kokushi’s eyes made him less of an alpha. The Clan Leader, a conservative traditionalist, despised how beautiful Tooru grew to be— something that was just too ‘un-alpha’ in Kokushi’s eyes. While Tobio thought his brother’s beauty was something to be proud of, to Kokushi, it was not.

“It’s that stupid Oikawa blood in you.” Kokushi spat in the middle of dinner. 

It had always been like this during meals. Kokushi had took every opportunity to demean his son whenever Tooru joined them at the dining room, and for that reason, meals with Tooru was always tense. There will be a different range of insults he would hurl at Tooru but his favourite was how beautiful Tooru was. An alpha shouldn’t look beautiful, was what he believed in. 

“It is not my fault I am an Oikawa.” Tooru retaliated, slamming his cup onto the table, challenging his father with a glare. “You chose to marry a man from Aoba Johsai and this is what you’re complaining about?”

Tobio had seen plenty of ronins and exchange students from Aoba Johsai and it was undeniable that anyone who grew there was beautiful. They all have different personalities, but the way their faces are structured, they were the most ideal to look at. Tobio couldn’t figure out why but he just assumed the power of the genetics of the people of Aoba Johsai, passing on a crown of beauty onto all its men and women.  

“You will be the Clan Leader of Kitagawa Daiichi. If you cannot change that look of yours, at least learn to be a proper alpha that can run this place.” 

“Unless you would like me to cut this face off, there is nothing you can do about this, Father .” 

Like clockwork, Tobio approached his grandfather again, asking if he was alpha enough. Kazuyo only chuckled and ruffled his raven hair, saying that if he wasn’t, Kokushi would have long commented on it. He enquired again, this time in a softer voice: “What should a proper alpha look like?” . Kazuyo shrugged at the question, heavily implying that these standards were only placed by his son which somehow managed to influence the rest of the clan.

Regardless of all the hurtful words hurled at Tooru during dinner about being imperfect and faulty, Tobio had always looked up to his brother. His brother, Kageyama Tooru, was the best in his class and a fast learner. He had heard stories from the disciples how Tooru would easily beat his seniors. He also heard how hard Tooru trained to be articulate in kenjutsu, often until late at night. He strived to be the same as his brother, at least for the combat aspect— Tobio was a lost case with studies, and tried hard to be like him. Tobio would watch Tooru training silently behind pillars when he should be asleep and mirror them during his own lessons. He would observe and learn, then execute. He’d like to grow just as strong and great as his brother, if not, stronger.

Tobio turned 15 when Tooru was no longer seen anywhere in the residence during the day. The uprising Clan Leader had been attending classes back-to-back regarding politics, economics and literature, the higher ups preparing to mold Tooru into an ideal Kitagawa Daiichi clan leader. The only times he would see Tooru was late at night, where the candle lit up his room and Tobio would watch his figure from the shoji move across the room. Tooru never stayed up very late, occasionally seen at his desk for a few minutes before knocking out the second he blew the candle off and lay on his futon. 

Sometimes he could hear his brother’s footsteps while heading back to his room, sometimes he couldn’t. Yet the one thing he could only hear was that one particularly long sigh before Tooru entered his room. Tooru also had trouble managing his pheromones when he’s extremly exhausted, so all Tobio could smell before Tooru entered his room were pheromones laced with distress.

As expected, Tobio flew up ranks among the disciples, eventually earning the title of ‘The Unbeatable King’. He grew into the alpha his father expected him to be. He recognised the look of pride in Kokushi’s eyes when the Clan Leader visited their open spar in the main court. Drenched in his sweat, Tobio would be the last person standing in his Class, panting while his grip over the wooden training katana remained firm. He had yet to try sparring with the Final Class, where Tooru belonged, though he did not think he could beat them all down. And that grin, that smile of pride plastered all over Kokushi’s, all translated as “Look at him, my perfect son I moulded.”

“If you liked Tobio so much, why bother training me to be Clan Leader, Father?” 

Tobio was returning to his quarters after a sparring lesson when he overheard a conversation behind the thin paper of the shoji in Tooru's room. 

“He’s definitely better than you.” Kokushi said. “But you’re older and experienced. You’ve lived long enough to rule. You are the oldest son, and you by default are expected to become the next Clan Leader.”

“You baffle me. I am expected yet you do not want me to be one. I know you do not want me as Clan Leader. Kageyama Tooru is not suited to be the Clan Leader, you said that to your Council. So why are you even trying to make me? What was the point, Father? Why are you making me suffer?”

Tooru’s voice was dripping with spite. He had always openly disliked the fate of him ascending to be the next Clan Leader.

“Until you are deemed unfit, you will remain the heir to the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. You shall not try to act otherwise. If you fail to be a proper alpha, you do not need to prove that you cannot be a proper Clan Leader.”

“Curse you. If you do not need me, simply discard me. I’ll be of use elsewhere.”

A loud slap resonated in the halls. 

“Kageyama Tooru.” The Clan Leader warned.

A chuckle that leaked of mockery could be heard, it was Tooru’s, Tobio noted. “Sure, Kageyama Tooru.”

✧✧✧✧

As Tobio grew, the more appealing he became in Kokushi’s eyes. He was the perfect embodiment of an alpha that Kokushi wanted and a perfect alpha means a perfect Clan Leader fit to run the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. The hilt of his wooden katana made a perfect collision with Tooru’s, throwing the other off guard, tripping on his feet and landing on his bottom. Their spar that lasted for more than 5 minutes had finally ended, Tobio making his final hit to indicate Tooru’s defeat. Tooru’s glare was fueled with rage as the disciples cheered, hurting the older alpha’s pride. He was just bested by his own brother that was 4 years younger than him– who was also known as the better son.

“Tooru-san.” Tobio called as he placed his training katana against his hip.

Tooru ignored him. Tobio called for him again, this time the older teen grumbled a reply.

“What?”

“Tooru-san, let’s spar again.”

Tooru’s pheromones flared while his hands clenched into fists, fastening his walking speed. “No. Find someone else.”

“You are amazing! I believe the more I spar with you, the more I can get stronger! And so can you!” Tobio reasoned, approaching his brother, trailing behind him as they entered the bedroom halls.

“I do not want to spar with you.” Tooru growled before he slammed the shoji close.

That night Tobio visited his grandfather again, this time the old man was resting on his bed, recovering from his sickness. Kazuyo patted his grandson’s thigh, smiling. 

“You are a very strong child. No one would like it if someone weaker became stronger than them within years. Your brother had worked hard to be where he was.” He spoke softly.

“But, Tooru-san is not weak. He’s very strong.” Tobio insisted, frowning. 

“Sometimes it takes words from a person to make someone feel weaker than they truly are.”

This time, Tobio understood. Kokushi had never been encouraging, in fact had never been part of Tooru’s training regime. The Clan Leader had been hands off regarding Tooru, leaving all the planning to the best educator among the Kageyamas. He expected more from Tooru and everytime Tooru performed less satisfactory, he would blame it on Tooru’s bloodline. 

“Your father had always seen the Kitagawa Daiichi clan as the strongest.” His grandfather stated, sighing. “With Tooru being half-Aoba Johsai, he could not see him the way he looked at you.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Tobio murmured, lying down beside his grandfather. “Tooru-san is so great, I learn so much from him even if I don’t talk to him often.”

“Tooru is a very interesting person, alright.” 

Tobio agreed with his grandfather’s statement because indeed, he was. 

The way Tooru would talk to Kageyama Kokushi, Clan Leader of Kitagawa Daiichi, was interesting. In fact, appalling. Ever since Kokushi witnessed Tooru’s defeat while sparring with Tobio, he would state what failure of an alpha he was and Tooru would yell back, often resulting in a harsh slap across the face. Sometimes he would flip over his dinner table and storm out of the dining room, yelling profanities. No one in the residence would dare do that. Not even Tobio. Only Tooru was brave enough to speak his mind, even if Kokushi tolerated none of it, resulting in a punishment.

It was during Tooru’s 20th birthday when Kokushi raised the topic of marriage during the celebratory dinner. Clan Leaders from across the country were invited, joyfully eating the meals prepared for them while Kokushi started the conversation about who will have the hand in marriage for his son, proudly telling everyone that he’s ready to be married— claimed to be a perfect alpha for an omega he’ll wed. On the other hand, Tooru saw red and standing beside his brother, Tobio could smell his anger. 

It was tradition for the next-in-line to ascend with a partner, married or engaged. Kokushi did it, Kazuyo did it but Tooru wanted nothing of it. Expected to ascend as Clan Leader at 22 as advised by the Kitagawa Daiichi elders, Tooru was clear in not wanting to marry within those two years. He was angry, furious even when the other Clan Leaders chimed in, mentioning their sons and daughters to drop a hint to Kitagawa Daiichi’s Clan Leader that their children are available. Who wouldn’t want to offer their children to such a fine man, especially if it brought them ties and benefits to their own clans and families. The Kitagawa Daiichi Clan was powerful and everyone would scramble to marry off their children to Tooru. But Tooru didn’t want them.

Yet Tooru controlled himself, suppressing both his emotions and pheromones, smiling with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes as Clan Leaders teased him, showering him with praises of how good looking he was and what an incredible husband he would be.

Tooru had his reasons to despise the idea of getting married. And on the same day, Tobio was able to find what they were. Tooru had two reasons.

The first one was the failed arranged marriage between Kageyama Kokushi and Oikawa Tatsui. The two were married for the sake of politics, Kitagawa Daiichi promising an alliance with Aoba Johsai who back then was deep in financial economic burden. The marriage was never built on love, simply the desperation to get Aoba Johsai out of crisis. They birthed two kids, Kageyama Katsuro and Kageyama Tooru, who were expected to be the support to their marriage, only for them to crumble apart.

Kokushi had found love in a female omega from the Kitagawa Daiichi clan, bedded her despite the fact he was still married, and got her pregnant with Tobio’s sister barely a year after Tooru’s one-month celebration. Tatsui felt betrayed at his husband’s infidelity, one that he hid for a long time, and demanded a divorce that Kokushi instantly gave under the condition Tooru falls under his custody. Tatsui had no power, agreeing to the condition in order to keep Aoba Johsai safe. Aoba Johsai had been steadily stabilising, Tatsui did not dare ruin the efforts of their men with a selfish desire. 

Tooru was 4 when it all happened. He could never forget the look on his mother’s face when Kokushi announced a second child right after the finalisation of their divorce. Tatsui was aware of the nature of their marriage yet could not stand how the alpha could not be patient enough to let the divorce process through. Regardless of all that, Tooru was taken away from his mother barely a few days later, stuck in the mountainous terrains of Kitagawa Daiichi, granted only a weekly weekend visit to Aoba Johsai.

Tooru wasn’t entirely against marriage. He simply wanted to marry the person he loved. This led to the second reason: 

Tooru had found love.

Tobio was simply roaming the residence, taking a break from talking to the stuck-up bootlicking Clan Leaders, who could not stop prying information about him, when he saw Tooru hiding at the corner of the hallway. Beside him stood another person, shorter than Tooru, partially hidden in the shadows. Tobio quietly stood nearby and examined the stranger Tooru was talking to. He was undoubtedly from Aoba Johsai, and if he was not mistaken, the accompanying samurai guard for Aoba Johsai’s clan leader, Oikawa Katsuro. He was an omega, Tobio noticed from the subtle scent, despite his fairly stronger and sharper features that resembled more of an alpha than an omega. Tobio observed the way the omega looked into Tooru’s eyes.

“Iwa-chan, I’ve missed you.” He heard Tooru whisper, followed by a sob. “It’s been too long.”

“Shh. It’s been a long 6 years, huh.” The omega whispered back, placing a hand on the other man’s shoulder. “How have you been?”

“I hate it here. I want to go back but Father won't let me. I want to see you more, the letters aren’t enough, Iwa-chan, I can’t do this anymore. I really can’t. I want to go home.”

Tobio never witnessed his brother crying. Not when he broke his arm when he was 10. Not when he attended Kazuyo’s funeral barely a month ago. He had seen tears in Tooru’s eyes. But crying? Never. Yet here he was listening to his brother cry, his voice cracking and shoulders violently shaking, as if the wall and facade he had built over the years were finally crashing down on him, burying his face in his hands. And it just took a person that’s nicknamed ‘ Iwa-chan ’ to do that.

“Father wants me to get married. I do not want to get married with anyone else but you, Iwa-chan.” And Tooru wailed.  

Tobio curled his hands into fists and walked away, returning back to the banquet. He never understood the concept of love. He also had no one to ask his questions to, now that his grandfather had passed away. But one thing he knew, whatever love was, was enough to make Tooru defy their father and potentially, Kitagawa Daiichi .

✧✧✧✧

Every time at the mention of Tooru’s potential suitor, Kokushi and Tooru would argue. No one would stop them, not even Ayano and both Tobio and Miwa had learnt to not speak during a heated argument either, letting the tension rise within the common room with no one left to mediate, as the one who usually did had long passed. A battle between alphas had never ended well but Tooru would always concede, not without a dramatic flip of his desk or throwing his chopsticks across the dining room. There was no way he would show Kokushi that he’d lose to him— except he was, but he wasn’t going to let Kokushi feel the satisfaction of it.

Tobio was 17 when he realised how far Tooru would go to not get married, even if the suitor appointed to him was sitting in front of him. The female omega was pretty cute in Tobio’s standards, poised and elegant in her ways as she sat before Tooru with a smile on her face. Hikaru was what an ideal omega Kokushi had envisioned, besides the fact that she was part of the Ishiwaka Family, the second influential noble family in the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. Tooru was direct with his opinion.

“Ishiwaka-dono, I have no intentions of marrying you. This has nothing to do with you, I simply do not wish to marry you.” He said.

Hikaru took it well, surprisingly, like she knew this would be the outcome. Kokushi, on the other hand, didn’t. Tobio had never seen his father so enraged that day, throwing items across the room for them to shatter and splinter all over the floor. They were all aimed away from Tooru who stood in the middle of their father’s study, unaffected, barely flinching. 

“How dare you humiliate me! Do you know how hard it was for me to find someone for you?! You and your stupid beautiful face already made it difficult for me to find a match!” Kokushi roared, grabbing a glass cup off his table and smashing it to the ground.

Tooru did not say a word but the anger within him continued to rise.

“You will get married to Hikaru and that is FINAL!”

And no matter how violent Kokushi became every time Tooru defied him, Tooru would reject and openly state his disapproval of this arranged marriage, sending Hikaru home. Tobio knew that Tooru was not willing to marry anyone other than Iwa-chan , unlike Kokushi who viewed this as an act of disobedience. Sometimes he wondered if it was worth getting hurt for.

He did not expect his brother to tumble out of the Clan Leader’s study one night, beaten up all over, bruised on the eye and his lip split. Tooru had rejected Hikaru the seventh time that day and Kokushi had resorted to ways of discipline more harsher than Tobio could imagine. Tooru will be turning 22 in three more months and the old man had gotten more desperate to get his son married before ascending as Clan Leader. The older alpha struggled to walk back, his whole body trembling underneath the kimono, which was stained in blood.

“Tooru-san. Let me help you.” Tobio offered.

Right when Tooru was about to reject help, he collapsed to the floor, panting. Wordlessly, Tobio heaved his brother up, walking slowly towards his room. Tooru had not said a word, just breathing heavily throughout the journey back to his abode. As the younger man gently settled his butchered body down onto his futon, he let out a laugh.

“How pathetic, huh? Seeing your brother like this?” Tooru said bitterly, wincing as he spoke.

“No. You are hurt. Father hurt you.”

“Do you think I deserve it, Tobio-chan?”

“No, Father went too far. You are wrong to disobey him but he went too far.”

“I see.”

Silence engulfed them as the two brothers stayed in their places without saying a word. It has always been like this if they’re together. There was often no need for small talk so Tobio did not know what Tooru likes and Tooru not knowing what Tobio enjoys to talk about. Brothers only by blood with no true bond between them. But if anything, they’d never snitch on one another. In the end, their common dislike was Kageyama Kokushi. Tobio may be Kokushi’s favourite son but Kokushi was nothing close to a father he thought he was. Tobio’s true parental figure was not his parents but his grandfather who now no longer exists, which meant Tobio was now alone to lead himself to a meaningful life. Their grandfather had also been Tooru’s support, where Tooru could openly voice out his emotions and cry out his frustrations. Ever since his return to Aoba Johsai was halted, Tooru could only ever rely on Kazuyo, only for the man to pass away a month before his 20th birthday, the one birthday Tooru had dreaded to meet.

Kokushi was aware of the damage he had done to his own son but could not muster up an apology, pride and ego up at his throat to allow himself to apologise. For a week, Tooru did not leave his room, servants dropping off food by his door only to collect back barely eaten meals. Tobio visited everyday for a couple minutes simply to check on his brother, watching his bruises heal over time. It hurt to know what a father could do to his son and Tobio had contemplated if he should tell his father off. He had gone overboard and Tooru had a hard time breathing without experiencing pain on his chest. Yet while Tobio knew that him being the favourite granted him some kind of protective shield, the way his father acted had started to scare him.

✧✧✧✧

“You’re leaving?” 

It was late in the middle of the night when Tobio stood at the top of the final step of stairs that led to the Kitagawa Recesses, glancing down at his brother and his personal guard. Tooru never left the clan’s land unless he was accompanying their father to meetings with other clans but that too was extremely rare so this sight shocked Tobio. Tooru had not carried much with him, a simple sling bag with belongings he deemed important and his katana, one that Kazuyo forged for him. His personal guard, Yahaba Shigeru, carried nothing but his weaponry. Neither of them were wearing the colors of Kitagawa Daiichi’s white and blue, in fact had donned those of Aoba Johsai’s white and turquoise. It seemed like he was ready to leave everything behind.

For good. 

Tooru looked up, the bruise on his right eye that was once blue and black, now recovering to an orange yellow. “I won’t come back, Tobio-chan. This is not my place, I do not belong here.” He said, tightening his grip on his katana. 

“You’re going back to Seijoh?” Tobio asked. “Forever?”

“Forever. I’m sorry, Tobio-chan. Father won’t take this lightly so.. so if he reacts violently, and this time to you, I’d like to apologise in advance.”

Tobio hummed, bowing to his brother for the last time Tooru would stand in the Recesses. It was when he thought he had left, arms wrapped around him, filling Tobio with warmth. For the first time after so long, Tooru and Tobio were in an embrace, for probably the last time. The future between them was uncertain. Tobio felt his eyes water as he leaned into the hug, wrapping his own arms around his brother, gripping onto the white and turquoise yukata with a deathly grip. His brother was now leaving Kitagawa Daiichi forever for Aoba Johsai, a trip of 2 days by foot, a place completely different from the terrain they currently stand on. And his brother’s departure means now he, Kageyama Tobio, will be the next Clan Leader.

“Me leaving will make things harder for you Tobio-chan. I’m sorry.” Tooru whispered against his hair, warm tears falling onto the collar of Tobio’s kimono.

“If leaving makes you happier, please do not think of me.” Tobio mumbled. 

They parted ways from then on, Tobio watching his brother and guard’s silhouette disappear into the deep night. His walk back to his room was silent, the Kitagawa Recesses deep in their sleep, except for the guards patrolling the area. He laid back on his futon, sighing as he wiped the dried tears off his cheeks. He wondered how his father would react in the morning when he realised the heir had left. He closed his eyes without shedding his clothes, hoping for the best as he dreaded the potential outburst Kokushi would unleash.

“Come visit Aoba Johsai one day, before or after you become Clan Leader. It’s a great place, far greater than any land I have stepped on.” Tooru had said before he left.

Maybe he would, but there were more pressing matters to focus on and it revolved around Kageyama Kokushi.

The Clan Leader found out after breakfast, when the servants panickedly came running to him, informing him that Tooru and Shigeru could not be found. He was in such immense rage, Tobio shivered under his gaze, the older man’s pheromones overpowering everyone in the courtroom. He felt a vice grip on his hand, Miwa who only felt a fraction of the pheromones Kokushi let off, trying to get his attention diverted away from their angry father. He learnt later that evening that Kokushi had left for Aoba Johsai, hoping to get back his son, whether by negotiation or by force. Tobio hoped Tooru was ahead in his journey because Kageyama Kokushi had become a demon, seeking to hunt down his destined prey.

Tobio did not know what happened in Aoba Johsai so when Kokushi returned back barely half a week later, he was called to his study and was told that he will be the next Clan Leader. Tooru was staying there forever, like he said he would be. Tobio could only nod. That was where things changed for him. Unlike his brother who was trained to become the Clan Leader from a young age, Tobio’s starting point was at the age of 18. He watched his schedule turn packed overnight, most of his time taken to attend classes, the same ones Tooru took. His time with the katana was significantly shorter, much to his dismay. He had two new guards appointed to him, both betas and close to his age. He chewed his inner cheek, hands hanging awkwardly by his sides when they bowed.

“I am Kunimi Akira, appointed to be your guard, Kageyama-dono.”

“I am Kindaichi Yutaro, also appointed to be your guard, Kageyama-dono.”

✧✧✧✧

Akira and Yutaro would follow him everywhere, including lessons, the two of them standing at the back of class. Tobio had not found their presence disturbing but it took him a while to get used to the two people trailing behind his tracks every time. Only during night time the two would leave him alone, staying in the guard house about a minute walk away. One week in and Tobio had started to become restless, itching to return to the courtyard to spar with the other disciples. 

“Spar with me.” Tobio said.

Akira and Yutaro looked at each other, unsure of what to do. They were only appointed to Tobio because of their age, not from experience.

“Kageyama-dono, it’s nighttime, you should retire for the night after a long day.” Akira reminded him.

“And tomorrow is a Saturday. Spar with me.”

“As you wish, Kageyama-dono.”

And they spared, both Akira and Yutaro against Tobio alone. Tobio loved it, the thrill of the wooden katana and the rhythm his body moved as he dodged the attacks of his guards. He knew that both of them were holding back, afraid to land a hit on their lord but as time passed, Tobio taunted them enough for them to use their true strength, their grunts echoing in the empty courtyard. They spared until their bodies ached, and Tobio again made his final move, defeating Yutaro.

“You’re impossible to beat, Kageyama-dono.” He smirked, looking at his fallen training sword on the floor.

Tobio only smirked back.

In his new routine of the new upcoming Clan Leader, Tobio and his guards had gotten closer, ending their weekdays with a good spar in the late night. Akira’s fight style was more passive, playing behind on the defense before attacking a weak spot while Yutaro was more offensive, trying his best to crack up an opening to hit. Being an alpha, he triumphed over them in strength and had a greater sense of control, considering the 2v1 a fair competition. The three of them would continue this routine up until Tobio turned 19, where the Kitagawa Daiichi elders started to raise concerns over Tobio’s ascension. They urged him to rush the ascension despite being behind in preparation as now Kokushi will be 50 in a year. Apparently they agreed that Tobio should be Clan Leader at 22 as well, the same age Tooru was expected to be one. With that, more lessons were crammed into his already tight schedule, and Tobio’s sparing opportunities declined tremendously.

“Tobio-sama, you have lessons today.” 

They have moved past calling him Kageyama-dono as the young man had been begging them to drop the formalities.

The young man was snug under the thick layers of blankets, letting out a loud groan. “Can I not go?” 

“You’re failing your classes, Tobio-sama. Let’s get ready for the day.”

Akira was not wrong. He had been failing his classes and it had worsened since he was officially the next Clan Leader— which was extremely concerning for the clan’s council, and ultimately Kokushi. He had never been the best with studies, compared to Tooru and his sister Miwa. He’s more street smart than book smart, though Akira would argue against that, pointing out the young lord’s inability to read basic maps. He was often dozing off in class, testing the teacher’s patience every time he laid his head on the table. During his one-to-one lessons in preparation to be a Clan Leader, he had no choice but to stay awake, except he would be staring mindlessly at the text before him.

“I don’t want to.” He grumbled, tossing to his other side to continue his sleep.

Akira’s tone turned into one with a warning. “Don’t make me come in, Tobio-sama.”

Tobio did not reply, closing his eyes when he heard the shogi slam open. Between Yutaro and Akira, Akira was the one who would not endure any childish nonsense. He was also the youngest of the three, ironically. 

“I will drag you out of your futon if I have to.”

Never underestimate Kunimi Akira as he did as he warned, pulling the sleepy alpha out from his warm blankets. He was not going to get an earful from Tobio’s teachers and more importantly, the Clan Leader. Within ten minutes Tobio was already walking to the classroom, perfectly dressed up, only that he had a frown on his face.

“I will remember this.” Tobio said bitterly.

Akira only smiled mockingly, Yutaro stifling a laugh. Within one year, the three of them had gotten close, the relationship of lord and guard, forcing them to interact with each other more. Tobio, who was initially shy to make friends, had now been more open and vocal— and he was a slight mirror of his father. Like as if those repressed emotions since he was a kid were let loose, Tobio was comfortable shouting insults (only towards his personal guards) and retorting back to his guards’ teasing remarks. The other two lavished on those responses, backing each other up to verbally agitate their lord. It was a weird relationship in the eyes of the common folk but to Miwa, she was glad her emotionally repressed brother had made friends.

Somewhere in the middle of Tobio’s 19 year old life, Tobio had his first rut and he did not like it one bit. He was cranky and sulked throughout the 4 days of his rut. Akira and Yutaro had not flinched at his nasty comments, only tolerating them and putting him back in his place when absolutely needed. Like any other alpha in rut, he was sexually frustrated all day all night and it was up to his beta guards to keep up with him during their nightly sparring session to get rid of that nasty feeling. While Kitagawa Daiichi’s disciples and the staff walk on eggshells around Tobio, Kokushi was thriving at the sight of his son’s alpha blooming, indicating that Tobio’s body had matured into an adult alpha.

Or in Kokushi’s words, the perfect adult alpha to rule Kitagawa Daiichi. 

✧✧✧✧

The end of the year rolled in and the temperature in Kitagawa Daiichi dipped forcing people of the clan to wear thicker cloth to keep themselves warm. And along with the return of winter was Kageyama Tobio’s 20th birthday. Similar to Tooru’s, his birthday was celebrated with other clans in attendance, a luxurious spread of dishes for the guests to feast on. Tobio had requested his guards to stick to his side throughout the event, regardless of any conversation. He had never liked how he was approached back when Tooru had his so he was almost certain the guests would try even harder to get an opportunity to talk to him, the upcoming Clan Leader.

Kokushi was beaming from ear to ear. He finally put his favourite son on display, proving to everyone that what happened to Tooru was a mistake. He would flaunt how perfect his son was, earning applause from the crowd when he announced that Tobio was proficient in all weapons available to the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. He kept pouring out praises and compliments about his son that some of the Clan Leaders with unmarried children had started to chide in. Tobio was uncomfortable. He knew this would happen but he insisted that being the centre of attention was not as amazing as it seemed.

When the banquet ended, everyone had dispersed across the main room, chatting with one another. The first person he approached was Oikawa Katsuro, the Clan Leader of Aoba Johsai, his other half brother of the same father. Standing before him, Tobio felt like he was talking to Tooru, only that the other man had a softer demeanor and his personality was far different than Tooru’s. 

“Kageyama-dono.”

“Oikawa-dono.”

The Aoba Johsai Clan Leader smiled. “Congratulations on your 20th birthday. I hope things have been going well for you.”

“It has been going well.” Tobio replied silently before adding, “Is Tooru-san well?”

Katsuro’s eyes widened slightly before chuckling softly. “He’s doing perfectly well. He would have come if he was allowed to.”

“Allowed to?”

“Did you not know? Your brother is banned from returning to Kitagawa Recesses.”

Tobio felt a lump in his throat. “I see. I was not aware.”

“If you’d like to see him, you can visit Aoba Johsai anytime. Preferably during winter or spring, however. I doubt you’ll be able to handle the heat during the summer.” Katsuro offered, gesturing to his accompanying samurai (who Tobio noted wasn’t the ‘Iwa-chan’ he saw 4 years ago) who wordlessly extended his hand towards Tobio. “This is a token Tooru had specifically requested to pass to you. Take this with you if you wish to visit Seijoh and we will accommodate you.”

The token was a miniature wooden slab with his name embedded in gold, littered with white and gold water lilies, with a turquoise tassel attached to one end of it. Tobio already had his own to indicate his identity as a Kageyama of Kitagawa Daiichi but to receive one in relation to Aoba Johsai, he wasn’t expecting it at all. Blinking profusely, all that was painted on his face was confusion. 

“Tobio-sama.” Yutaro whispered lowly. “It is rude to not take something that is offered to you.”

A light flush appeared on Tobio’s cheeks when he gingerly accepted the token, his fingers gently caressing the smooth piece of wood. “T-Thank you, Oikawa-dono. I am grateful to have this.”

Later that night, Tobio sat on his thick futon and stared at the token that sat across him as both his personal guards stood behind him, exchanging confused glances to one another. He could not understand why Tooru had given him a token that would pretty much grant him immediate access to Seijoh, the Aoba Johsai Clan’s Family Residence. He was family by blood but nothing between Tobio and Tooru deemed such privilege.

Tobio felt like a child again, confused with Tooru’s actions once more.

“Do you wish to head over to Aoba Johsai one day, Tobio-sama?” Akira asked, breaking the silence.

“I don’t know. Should I?” Tobio mumbled.

Yutaro hummed, tapping a finger against his chin. “If I were you, I’d take it as an open invitation to Seijoh. However, I can’t tell when is the right time to drop by.” 

Yutaro wasn’t the only one who felt that way. With his ascension in two years, the Clan’s elders had been persistent with the preparation lessons and Kokushi listened, hoping that his son would turn out as the Clan Leader he wanted. It did not help Tobio that he was behind in his studies, failing miserably in most of his tests and the elders had relayed their worries (nicely) to Kokushi that extra classes may be needed. There was no time to visit Aoba Johsai, just the travel itself to and fro would take 4 days. According to the elders, 4 days were a big loss. 

“Will Father be upset if I mention Aoba Johsai?” He pondered, picking up the token gently. 

Akira shrugged. “That’s a gamble you’ll have to take. If he gets upset, then you’ll have to wait until you’re Clan Leader. No one can tell you what to do then. Well, except for the elders for some reason.”

The other beta grimaced. “The elders are a hefty bunch, though– and the second your father steps down, he’ll also be part of the elders. Either way, Tobio-sama, your father remains the centre of the equation.”

It was unsurprising that Kageyama Kokushi, whilst not being fully involved in matters of Tobio’s growth, had complete power of approving and declining requests from his son. Tobio also was not the type to question his father’s answers, in contrast to Tooru’s defying personality. He’d take whatever final answer he was given, even if he did not like the outcome. He’d sulk and stay quiet but he’d never ask why, let alone disobey. Kokushi also loved the power in his hands and where Tooru would question, Tobio would listen.

That was until Kokushi started the conversation about Tobio’s marriage during dinner for the first time. 

Ishiwaka Hikaru was brought up again and without a doubt, Tobio could see in his father’s face that this was not up to argument. Yet, he couldn’t come to an agreement with this marriage. Other than the fact Hikaru was 3 years older than him, he had no attraction towards Hikaru at all. She’s pretty and that, he fully agreed, but he could not find himself living a life together with her until the day he died. So he challenged Kokushi. For the first time.

“Must the marriage be an arranged one?” Tobio questioned when his father mentioned Hikaru again, the person Tooru was expected to wed. 

He did not miss the surprised look on his father’s face. Tobio, who'd never questioned, questioned Kokushi’s decisions. 

“You are young, inexperienced and unwise to pick a person for yourself. I will choose the person for you, and the ideal one has always been Hikaru. You’ll listen to me, will you?” Kokushi said firmly, an eyebrow raised, teeth gritted. “You will not end up like your pathetic brother, will you?”

Tobio calmly put his chopsticks down. “I’d like to find the partner I love, Father.”

“You-”

“The same way you found love with Mother, I believe I have the right to find a person that will marry me. Or do you not have faith in my abilities, Father?”

Kokushi was not pleased but unlike Tooru, Tobio was more mindful of his words and temper. He hummed and took a long swing of his tea.

“I see you have somehow caught into the mannerisms your brother had displayed.” He chuckled bitterly, glaring daggers at his son. “I will give you one year. If you do not find a partner that I approve of, you will wed Hikaru.” 

✧✧✧✧

Tobio had always been competitive, whether he was aware of it or not, so he took the challenge and Kokushi was off his back about a partner. He only had less than a year, Tobio had engaged in his pursuit for a search for a partner.

Except he was an absolute pathetic case when it comes to romance.

Akira and Yutaro were no help either, often shrugging and leaving his questions hanging whenever he seeked some guidance. Tobio did not dare approach his father about this, nor his mother— because why should he? He had tried to ask Miwa but the beta only grinned sheepishly, telling him that she also was not deemed for such questions. Brooding in his room, Tobio finally found the purpose of his token. He’d like to seek answers from his brother.

Tooru had gone miles for love– his love for ‘Iwa-chan’, to the point where he was banned from returning to the home of the Kitagawa Daiichi clan, to the point where he was no longer part of the family. Out of all the people he felt safe to approach, Tooru was the only option to seek answers from. There was only one problem, however, which was to seek his father’s approval to leave the Recesses for Seijoh. With the burnt relationship between Tooru and Kokushi, bringing up his desire to visit Aoba Johsai might rub on a sore spot. So he tried with all the courage he had mustered overnight.

“Of all places, why Aoba Johsai?” Kokushi asked, eyeing his son who stood in the middle of his study. “You could have gone to Shiratorizawa. It’s not that far and we are allies.”

Tobio knew his father was skeptical so he spoke half the truth. “I wish to visit Seijoh. Oikawa-dono had invited me to drop by. He’d like me to be familiar with the Aoba Johsai clan before I ascend as Clan Leader.” 

“Are you lying?”

“No, I am not. Oikawa-dono had brought this up during my 20th birthday. I apologise for not telling you, Father.”

If there was something Tobio had that Tooru didn’t, it was the power to persuade Kageyama Kokushi  but that power could only go so far. 

“I see. I’ll give you a leave of absence for two weeks. I expect you to act maturely during your visit to Aoba Johsai.” Kokushi stated firmly, his eyes terrifyingly clear that he was up for no nonsense. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Father.”

Tobio departed barely a week later with Akira and Yutaro on his tail. The three of them had never left anywhere beyond the outskirts of the Recesses so with the guide of a map and Akira’s incredible map reading skills, their 2 day travel went smoothly. There were at some point where they thought they were lost but overall, they did a fairly good job. Tobio deserved a pat in the back. Three days in, the trio sat together in a tavern, waiting for their tea to be served. 

The lower grounds were warmer compared to the Recesses and Tobio had found himself feeling stuffy from the enclosure of the tavern, especially with the kimono he was wearing. He fanned himself as Yutaro leaned over Akira’s shoulder. Akira had been staring at the map for a good while now, trying to see when they would actually reach Aoba Johsai that to an extent, Akira almost believed they were lost and Aoba Johsai was just a non-existent land. His feet were aching and he was more than impatient to reach the grounds of this invisible land.

“Here are your drinks, good sirs.” Said the waiter as she placed the pot of tea on the table. “Is there anything you’d like?” 

“Maam, we have been travelling for a while now and we have yet to reach Aoba Johsai. Is there a way for us to know when we will reach the place?” Yutaro asked, in courtesy of Akira’s notable distress.

“Aoba Johsai?” She pondered, putting down the last cup for the trio. “If I’m being honest, you’ll know it when you see it.”

None of them liked the vague answer they were given yet they understood exactly what she meant. The second they stepped into the presumed lands of Aoba Johsai, the ambience around them had changed. Neither could describe it but it seemed like the people they passed by were all naturally beautiful. The rumor was proven to be right to Tobio tenfold and neither of the three hid their shock on their faces.

“This is ridiculous.” Tobio heard Yutaro murmur. “They’re all good looking. How can a clan’s genetics be this powerful?” 

With the help of directions, they reached the doors to Seijoh by noon, a pier-like residence built over the waters of Aoba Johsai’s main lake. The clan’s crests were found across the walls dividing the common folk and the family’s residence, similar to the way Kitagawa Daiichi displayed theirs in the stairwells of the Recesses. When questioned by the guards by the gates, Tobio showed his token.

“Excuse us for a moment.” Bowed one of the guards before disappearing behind the door.

It didn’t take long until a familiar face emerged. Shigeru, Tooru’s personal guard, was in full Aoba Johsai colors, his hakama lined with gold trim, when he greeted them. 

“Tobio-kun.”

“Shigeru-san.” Tobio bowed instantly.

“Unfortunately, your guards will have to wait outside until Tooru-sama approves their entry.” Shigeru informed them. “Tobio-kun, please follow me.”

Seijoh’s landscape was flatter than the Kitagawa Recesses. Tobio had lived all his life within an architecture of climbing stairs up and down that the flat terrain of Seijoh felt foreign. The courtyard he had stepped into was full of disciples, donning hakamas of white and turquoise, sparring with one another. Tobio observed that those affiliated with the Oikawa Family of the Aoba Johsai clan had gold in their outfits. The gold did make them look more regal, a distinction between the common men and novelty. 

“You are allowed to freely roam Seijoh as you wish, however as this was only Tooru-sama’s request, I’d recommend you to not go beyond his residences.” Shigeru said, as they walked on the wooden planks leading them deeper into the pier where the Oikawa family lived.

The pier stretched deep into the lake, surrounded by water lilies, both pink and white. Tobio could not help himself but admire the beauty of the flowers floating below him as he walked. Though he did try to not get too deep in his admiration and end up tripping over his feet and fall straight into the lake. Tobio did not want to embarrass himself on his first visit to his brother’s abode— not when his guard was still with him. Shigeru stopped at a junction, turning to face the young alpha.

“Tooru-sama’s residences are in the West Wing, the deepest of the pier.” He pointed out where the pier broke into two, one to the East and another to the West. “Tooru-sama is currently busy and won’t be able to attend to you in the meantime. Please make yourself at home, I will send a few servants to keep you comfortable.”

Tobio blinked. “Shigeru-san, am I really allowed to be here alone?”

“Of course, Tobio-kun. It has been specifically mentioned to give you access to Tooru-sama’s wing.”

And the second Shigeru left to do his tasks, Tobio once again felt like a lost and awkward teenager, standing in the middle of the pier, surrounded by water lilies. With no one to accompany him in his venture, Tobio took slow steps, his eyes wary of anyone who happened to be there. Unlike the main courtyard, the West Wing was quiet and serene, the cool wind blowing against his face, allowing him to enjoy the unique environment. There were very few people in the West Wing, having only passed by two people he assumed were servants and Tobio thought he wouldn't be coming across anyone else until he reached one corner of the pier, jumping at the presence of three people sitting underneath the gazebo. It was very intimidating, to be stared at by three pairs of eyes, those that belong to men of the Aoba Johsai clan, the clan known for their extreme beauty.

“Oh?”

There were two faces Tobio did not recognise. One had extremely fair skin complexion, the bangs of his pink hair reaching his eyebrows and his lips curved into an amused grin, while one had uniquely curled hair of the darkest black with eyes matching the color of his hair, his defined eyebrows almost stealing the spotlight. Both of them must have been part of the Oikawa family too, assumed by the golden linings on their yukatas, except the one with dark hair had his yukata on loose, his chest on full display. 

The last one had a familiar face. Tobio recognised was the omega he saw 5 years ago during Tooru’s 20th birthday— ‘Iwa-chan’ was his nickname. This time Tobio was able to truly observe him, not hidden by any shadow of the night. His muscular figure had not changed and Tobio could see it through his clothes. His sharp facial features that could pass off more alpha than omega, had softened over the years but his gaze had remained sharp, his green eyes looking straight into Tobio’s. He was also donned in white and turquoise, his kimono lined with gold and lilies embroidered on his haori. He was dressed more formally than the other two, Tobio assumed he held a higher position.

This was the man Tooru had broken rules for and the man Tooru betrayed his clan for. 

“Tobio-kun. It’s nice to meet you.” The omega greeted, bowing his head slightly. “What brought you here?”

Tobio squeaked when he realised he had been recognised and bowed immediately, a light shade of pink appearing on his cheeks. “Nice to meet you too. I.. I’m here to meet Tooru-san, uh… uhm…” 

“Hajime. Iwaizumi Hajime. So you’re searching for your brother.”

“Uh.. yes, Hajime-sama.”

Tobio’s awkward tone made them all chuckle, causing him to raise his head up, curious to the sudden change of mood. They seemed to be a close bunch of friends, closer than Tobio was with Akira and Yutaro, with the way they interacted with one another. In between the three of them was a platter of desserts, less than half the plate consumed.

“No need to be so formal. Tooru is busy. Come sit with us while you wait for him.” Hajime gestured, patting the free space to his left. 

✧✧✧✧

The bunch were friendly— too friendly for Tobio’s awkward personality. Hanamaki Takahiro, the pink-haired omega, continued to crack up jokes despite having a complete stranger at their table. Similarly, the other man, an alpha, Matsukawa Issei would pipe in, feeding into the mood with his remarks. Hajime would entertain them but for the most part, it would be Takahiro’s and Issei’s doing. Tobio, the youngest, could only listen and nod or shake his head stiffly when asked a question.

Both Takahiro and Issei loved telling stories and that’s when he learnt the three of them were Tooru’s oldest friends, Hajime being the oldest. They were the same group of people Tooru would hang out with every time he returned back to Aoba Johsai during the weekends. Tobio hadn’t truly realised how little close friends Tooru had back in Kitagawa Daiichi until now. His classmates were merely acquaintances and the only person Tooru was close to was Kageyama Kazuyo, their grandfather. Shigeru was also just a personal guard, a professional relationship of lord and guard that was not breached. As Tobio observed the liveliness of this friend group, Tobio somehow understood why Tooru was bitter that he was forbidden to return to Aoba Johsai.

Not to forget, Hajime resided in Aoba Johsai, the one person he loved and to be unable to see a loved one would break Tooru.

“So, Tobio-kun. How do you like Seijoh so far?” Takahiro asked, stuffing a mochi into his mouth. 

Tobio shifted in his seat. “It’s different.”

“You mean warm. I can see your sweat.”

Tobio had been sweating in his kimono, no one needed to ask him if he was feeling hot. All his clothing was made to endure the cold climate of Kitagawa Daiichi so sitting here in Aoba Johsai’s winter made him sweat buckets. He knew Akira and Yutaro were probably suffering like him, worse if they were still among the crowd waiting for approval to enter Seijoh’s grounds. 

“You can take off your outer layers if you’re uncomfortable.” Hajime said, earning a nod from the youngest before pointing towards Issei’s direction. “Like him, if you want, except Matsukawa is a lunatic because I am freezing .”

“Hey, I have a great endurance for cold, for someone who lived in Aoba Johsai all my life.” Issei grinned, bumping his fist against his bare chest. “I can jump into the lake if you’d like.”

“Let’s not.”

“What do you think, Tobio-kun? Do you think I can do it?” Issei had a smirk on his face, taunting Tobio to say yes. 

“If you jump, I’ll jump.” Takahiro nudged a shoulder against the alpha, mirroring the smirk.

“You both are going to get a cold and we have dinner with the noble families tomorrow.” Hajime warned, arms crossed. 

Tobio only watched the banter before him. No matter how much he tried to imagine, he could not see Tooru acting similarly to them. He had always been acting proper around him and to any members of the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. Sometimes that behaviour will break and those ‘sometimes’ were because of their father’s prodding and insults. Hence overall, Tobio would consider Tooru as a rather well-mannered person. However, seeing the behaviour of Tooru’s closest friends, Tobio started to doubt the image of his brother which he had seen over the years. Only here in Aoba Johsai could Tooru feel truly authentic whereas in Kitagawa Daiichi, Tooru’s self was repressed.

Issei was waiting for his answer, standing and ready to leap off the gazebo anytime.  “No harm to say yes, Tobio-kun. In the end, if I can jump in, you can as well. You come from the mountains anyways.” He pressed on, his grin widening. 

“Then I’d like to see it, Matsukawa-san.”

And there went the two of them into the lake, into the freezing cold. A long sigh could be heard to Tobio’s left as Tobio shed the first two layers of his kimono while watching the two hooli— friends plunge deep into the river’s cold waters. Within seconds, Issei resurfaced completely fine, laughing as his curly hair pressed flat onto his forehead, while Takahiro screamed, immediately launching himself towards the alpha in the cold, shivering violently.

“For someone who had children, you both definitely act like one.” Hajime grumbled, getting up from his seat, wrapping himself with his haori. “Hanamaki, you’re not like him, you will freeze. Come up here. I am not babysitting Akane if you get sick.” He called, leaning over the gazebo’s railing, laughing at the incomprehensible shriek that Takahiro made.

Tobio noticed a small swell of a tummy underneath the layers of Hajime’s kimono when Hajime stood, almost perfectly hidden when he was sitting. Tobio’s eyes then landed on the ring on the omega’s finger, subsequently the mating mark at the back of his neck. Tooru and Hajime were expecting a child and Tobio had no knowledge of their marriage in the first place. 

“Hajime-san…” He called, standing, earning the attention from the older. “How long have you and Tooru-san been married?”

Hajime looked at the ring on his finger and smiled. “It’s been a year. We invited your family to the wedding but no one showed up.”

“I did not know.”

Kageyama Kokushi chose to not mention Tooru unnecessarily after his son defected from the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. In fact, the only time he would was with the purpose to scare Tobio from defying him, implicitly warning him that if he were to follow Tooru’s footsteps, he would meet the same fate. What Tobio did not expect was his father to hold back the information of Tooru’s marriage— like Tobio’s relationship with Tooru was nothing worth maintaining. As he stood under the gazebo in the middle of Seijoh’s lake, his body no longer felt like his. 

If one were to look upwards, there would be strings from the heavens tied to his every limb. Every movement he made was a result of the person above him, moving his limbs in order of a specific sequence. His ears were deaf, his eyes were blindfolded and his lips were sealed. What he heard, what he saw and what he said were all the product of the man who controlled him. He was blinded to see the perfect path of his life laid out for him, specially for him, Kageyama Tobio, heir of the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. Not Kageyama Tobio, the young child hiding behind the mask of a man who wished to be his own.

The puppeteer had been there all along, playing between the two puppets in his hands. When he lost his least favourite puppet to snapped strings, he paid his full attention to the puppet that was last standing, painting the ideal image around him, void of filth that would taint the puppet’s perfect image. Anything to keep the puppet in perfect shape and nothing like the discarded one, because a broken and useless puppet would always be the result of the puppeteer, and no puppeteer would let the power of leading the story be taken away from him.

Tobio was just a puppet. A puppet to Kageyama Kokushi. A puppet to Kitagawa Daiichi. And Tobio was too slow to realise it. 

“Tobio-kun.” 

Hajime’s voice snapped him back to reality where he stood under the gazebo surrounded by water lilies. His chest that was once constricted finally felt free as he looked around him. He was not behind the puppet box. He was in Aoba Johsai. He was in Seijoh, the very place his brother called home. With a shaky breath, Tobio turned to face his brother’s mate, who offered him a mochi.

“I can smell your distress.” Hajime commented, urging the younger to accept the mochi. “I can’t say I understand what you feel but I have seen how it affected Tooru. Use this opportunity to break through those chains if you want. Feel free to do what you want. There is no one stopping you from doing things you want here. Scream, cry or run. Let it all out. There is no one here to judge.”

With shaking hands, the teenager took the mochi gently and popped it into his mouth. The flavours that burst in his mouth were sweet and suddenly he missed the ones his grandfather bought for him years ago when he was a child. Oh how he missed his grandfather, the only man who Tobio resorted to when he’s troubled. He hated how over years he had forgotten how he looked and wished he could see his grandfather’s smile when he’s in distressed. He had also forgotten what his voice was like, the same voice who comforted him when Kokushi scolded him for his mistakes. His escape had long gone and now Tobio was desperate to find one, something that could pull him away from the controlling hands of his father.

Kokushi had always desired power. And Tobio felt crushed underneath it, now that he had embraced the amount of power held within his father’s hands that could change the course of Tobio’s life. Was this how Tooru felt living in the Recesses? Chained? Controlled? 

“I’m sorry.” He croaked out as he wiped the corner of his eyes. 

“Don’t apologise. You’ve been through a lot.”

They stood there in silence, watching Issei struggle to carry Takahiro out of the cold waters. Hajime’s pheromones had now engulfed him, soothing Tobio’s unsettled mind. He now had a few days to spare in Seijoh, the heaven Tooru claimed it to be. The new sight was refreshing to see and Tobio was now leaning to the opinion that all Tooru had done was worth it, even if it broke relationships, even if it ruined his reputation.

“So what drove him to escape was his love for you.” Tobio concluded.

Hajime’s cheeks turned pink. “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s a stubborn idiot who only does the things he wants.” He mumbled, tugging on his haori. “I tell you, Tobio-kun, that brave looking alpha of a man you see back in your home was nothing of the true nature of Tooru. He’s an absolute buffoon and a child trapped in a 24 year old body.”

“Iwa-chan! That was rude!”

Tobio almost could not recognise that voice. He turned around to face his brother and he was in disbelief. As far as he remembered, Tooru had two types of voices: The formal polite voice and the rage-fueled one, the voice he used at every argument against their father. This voice he heard was softer, livelier and clingier . Tooru also did not look the same as he did years ago. His sullen expression had been replaced with a more cheerful one, his smiles now reaching his eyes that once were dead of light and hope. He was tanner than his usual pale complexion, but overall, Tooru looked nothing like his miserable self back in Kitagawa Daiichi.

He looked happier. So much happier.

Tooru hugged his mate from behind, pouting. “How could you say that about me?”

“I was hust stating the truth.” Hajime rolled his eyes but didn’t move away from the taller man’s grip, rather leaning into Tooru’s warmth. “You are a child and sooner or later I will have to raise two kids. Anyways, Tobio-kun is here.”

Tooru’s eyes finally met Tobio’s. “Tooru-san. I’m glad to see you again.”

“I didn’t expect to see you here. Why didn’t you drop us a letter?” Tooru raised an eyebrow. “Did Yahaba-chan forget to tell me about you?”

Tobio’s eyes widened when Hajime elbowed his husband in the stomach, “Is that how you’re going to greet your brother? He came here seeking for you.” He barked.

“Iwa-chan! That hurts! And why are Mattsun and Makki in the water? It’s winter!”

✧✧✧✧

After the chaos had settled down, Tooru and Tobio had settled down in Tooru’s study. Apparently, Shigeru was unable to find his lord in time to inform him of Tobio’s arrival. Blame the alpha for not following his schedule as planned and had escaped from a lengthy meeting with the noble family leaders. Tobio and his guards were also offered thinner clothing to accommodate the slightly warmer temperatures in Aoba Johsai, while their own were washed, and they were more than grateful, not wanting to die in their own sweat. Hajime and his friends had left to return to their rooms, Takahiro’s teeth chattering while Issei hugged him warmly, not without laughing at the other man’s misery.

“How have things been back home?” Tooru asked, breaking the silence as he poured hot tea into Tobio’s cup, followed by his. “Is it the same as always?”

“Maybe.”

“Has Father done anything to you?”

“Nothing in particular. He just wants me to be the next Clan Leader.”

“I see. So nothing changed.”

“I suppose.”

They fall into silence once again, sipping onto their own cups of tea, with no regard to continuing the conversation. To be more precise, the two brothers had no idea how to sustain the conversation. They had so little to say but so many questions left unanswered. Tobio fidgeted under Tooru’s gaze, fiddling with the hem of the yukata. 

“You said you came to see me.” The older man said, resting his hand on his right palm. “Come on, talk. What is it?”

Tobio took a deep breath and so it began. “Father wants me to get married.”

“Ah, typical of him. So? You don’t want to?”

“I challenged him.”

Shock was evident on Tooru’s face. “Okay, that surprised me. Normally you’d do what he asked. What did you do?”

“I didn’t want to get married to Ishiwaka-dono so I told him I’d find my own. He challenged me to find one within a year and I accepted it.” Tobio explained. “But if I don’t I’ll have to marry her. So I came here to ask you, Tooru-san. To marry someone, I must love but what exactly is love?”

“First of all, how did you get away with challenging him?” Tooru said, in disbelief. “Secondly, why do you think I’m the right person to ask about love?”

Tobio shrugged, “I don’t know. You’re the only one who I can ask. You went lengths for Hajime-san for the sake of love, why wouldn’t I ask you?”

The older alpha sighed and poured himself another serving of tea. “If you want an answer, love is liking a person where you would do anything to keep them by your side. Love makes you blind. You’d want to be with them forever that you’d sacrifice things for it. You’ve seen me betray Kitagawa Daiichi for Hajime and you’ve heard how Father cheated on my mother because he found someone better. It’s complicated, Tobio-chan. Have you met anyone you cared for? Someone that made your heart beat faster, your stomach flutter and your brain muddled?”

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t feel that with Ishikawa-dono. She’s pretty but that’s it.”

“I share your sentiment. These things normally come in naturally, sometimes against your own will and to some extent, you can’t force it.”

“How long will this naturally take?“

Tooru hummed. “I don’t know. Some people take a while like Father and your mother. Some took just a day like Mattsun and Makki. Those two are unbearable though.”

“How fast did you fall in love with Hajime-san?”

Heat radiated through Tooru’s cheeks. “I think… I might have loved him the second I saw him.”

So instant love existed. “Do you think I can get someone to love in a year?” Tobio wondered.

“It won’t be easy to find someone you’re fond of within a year but I wouldn’t say it’s impossible. But if you’re going to keep yourself hidden in the Recesses, say goodbye to your chances of finding someone.”

“I see.”

Tobio had not met anyone that falls under the so-called category of ‘love’. He liked the presence of his guards, as well as his classmates and the disciples he trained with, but no one earned his heart. There was not a person who would make him do things he wouldn’t do. He started to believe that he might have bitten off more than he could chew with that challenge.

“I’d like to remind you-” Tooru said, downing his cup of tea. “-that Father does favour you more than me. I don’t think he’ll mind the person you’ll introduce to him, noble or not.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hajime was not from a noble family. Yes, he’s married to me now but he was a commoner before that. I knew Father would not like the idea of me spending my life with what he would call a ‘lowly commoner’ so I hid the fact the longest I could. You knew how he treated me just because my blood is half-Kitagawa Daiichi. Do you think he’d let a non-noble man of Aoba Johsai be married to me? Ishikawa-dono was a clear attempt to keep me married within the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. I also didn’t dare bring Hajime into the picture. I know he’d never done anything absurd that could mark him as a criminal but I do not trust Father.”

“So why did you stay? You could have just left.”

“I was only in custody of Father because of the alliance. If not for the alliance, I would have lived my life in Aoba Johsai. I only decided to leave at that point because one, I was tired of it and I was so close to losing myself; and two, Aoba Johsai had made alliances with the Shiratorizawa Clan. Favours were on my side, though. When Father stormed into Seijoh, Katsuro and Mother broke the alliance immediately. That’s when I was banned from returning and now my affiliation only belongs to Aoba Johsai.”

Tobio’s hands curled into fists. “Father had removed your name off the Kitagawa Daiichi clan family registry.”

The name Kageyama Tooru was erased after Kokushi returned, indicating that his son was no longer welcome to Kitagawa Daiichi, let alone the Recesses. He will not see Tooru as his son and he was not willing to change his mind about it. Kageyama Tooru no longer existed. And now, only Oikawa Tooru remained.

“Then so be it. There was nothing left for me to lose.”

That was true. There was no value to staying in Kitagawa Daiichi, if all Tooru had to experience was pain and suffering. His brother was much better here in Seijoh, in the lands of Aoba Johsai where he can truly be himself, without having to fall into the hands of their father, greedy for power and control. 

“But remember, Tobio-chan. Just because you’ve seen me crumble, does not mean you will. If Father believes that you are perfect, then you are.” Tooru reminded him, getting up from his seat. “I do not belong there but you do.”

“Why is that?”

“You’re Father’s son. The more I stare at you, the more I see Father in you. You will be able to run the clan.”

“Are you saying I’ll be like Father?”

“No, you won’t. I’ll just say that even if you were, you’re still my brother. You’re not that different from me, Tobio-chan. You have just as much desire to be free as I do.”

“I don’t understand.”

Tooru walked towards the shoji and did not turn his head when he said, “What I meant is that you as Clan Leader will be more powerful than Kageyama Kokushi had ever been. You’ll topple the hierarchy if you could and you’ll dismantle the culture they’ve created. Kokushi may have molded you into the perfect alpha to run the clan but he only created his future enemy. In the end, you and I are both spawns of Kageyama Kokushi. We will disrupt anything to get what we want, well, of course for the better good.”

It dawned upon Tobio that being compared to their Father wasn’t a good thing anymore. Back in his younger days, he would cherish the moments the elders and relatives praised him for being just like his father. He carried most of his father’s genetics, from the silky black hair and sharp eyes to his height and physique. His father too, had achieved similar things Tobio had, such as defeating the highest ranking disciple at a young age. Tobio was the perfect son not because of his pure skill, but because he was a copy of young Kageyama Kokushi. And everyone had expectations that Tobio would become just like his father, making legendary and impactful decisions to the clan. But now, it felt different. Being compared to Kokushi was an insult.

Like a dagger to his throat. 

He stood up from his position on the flat cushion, “I will not be like Father. I am my own person.” He declared, startling Tooru who had now opened the shoji, cold air rushing into the study. “If Father tries to make me someone else I am not, I will not let him.”

Tooru chuckled. “And I know you won’t, Tobio-chan.” He sighed, gesturing for his younger brother to follow him. “Come on, let’s stop talking about Father. It’s depressing. You’re here to experience Aoba Johsai. The High Class are wrapping up their training soon, let’s not miss their little sparring session.”

Watching the disciples of Aoba Johsai spar each other at the main courtyard aroused excitement within Tobio. Their fighting style was different from the one Tobio was taught and it intrigued him. Aoba Johsai disciples fight with elegance yet with extreme precision, their body moving fluidly in the wind like they weigh as light as feathers. With his heart moved towards the katana, he watched each pairing spar with awe, tracing their movements, observing the placement of their arms and the techniques they honed . Akira and Yutaro stood beside him, just as absorbed in the sight before them. As the sun set, the training class came to a close, much to Tobio’s dismay. His body itched to spar, with or without a real katana, he did not care. 

He just wanted to spar with someone.

“Tobio-chan. Would you like to spar with me? I promise you won’t be able to beat me.” 

It had been years since his first and last sparring with Tooru and Tobio, still a little child inside, nodded enthusiastically. There was now an audience, watching the two brothers swing their arms, eager to land a hit and claim victory. The thrill of sparring with Tooru at this moment was one he had never felt before, not like the ones he had sparring with the strongest disciple of Kitagawa Daiichi, not against Akira and Yutaro– it was magical. And whatever thrill he was currently feeling, he’d like to feel this again. Tooru was stronger and more agile than before, dodging Tobio’s advances gracefully before attempting to counter. Adrenaline pumped in his blood as Tooru advanced more rapidly, making dodging almost impossible.

The fight style of Aoba Johsai had suited Tooru, releasing his true potential, Tobio realised as this level of skill was nowhere similar to the one Tooru honed back in the Recesses. The more he stayed on the main courtyard with the wooden katana, the better Tobio adapted to his brother’s attacks. Neither of them were willing to back down in defeat, both their competitiveness and ego at stake. Yet, Tobio was able to land a hit on the back of Tooru’s shoulder.

“I won, Tooru-san.” He said, pointing his katana towards his brother, earning a collective of gasps from the audience.

Tooru was not pleased, his eyes twitching with an agitated smile on his face. “That was only one win. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Tobio-chan.” He growled, dropping his hands to his sides after letting go of his katana. “We’ll spar again next time.”

Tobio’s face broke into a smirk. The brothers met eye to eye. They’ll spar again. This time with no blood relative telling them who was better and weaker. They’re on equal grounds now, just brothers with a fiery flame in their hearts that yearn to grow better and stronger. The disciples had left and headed back home after the engrossing display of a spar no one expected to see, leaving the brothers and their guards by the main courtyard.

“Iwa-chan! Did you see me?” Tooru exclaimed, his face brightening up instantaneously.

Hajime joined them in the courtyard, raising an eyebrow to his mate. “You lost. Should I be congratulating you?”

The alpha pouted childishly and there was a look of confusion mixed with disgust on Akira’s face. “But I managed to last long against this monster!”

“Hm, sure. You’re amazing.” 

Tobio watched as Tooru acted nothing like a noble man, whining for his mate’s attention, in which he gained, Hajime ruffling his brown hair with a soft affectionate smile on his face. He blinked and shared a look with his guards, who also could not stand the sight before them. This level of affection put on display had made the foreign men uncomfortable, whereas Shigeru and Issei tolerated their lord’s ministrations. Hajime picked up the wooden katana Tooru had dropped before pointing it towards the young alpha.

“Come, spar with me.” 

“E-eh?”

“I won’t break. Pick up the sword and spar with me. Anywhere but my stomach.”

The trio shared worried glances, unsure of the next course of action. Tobio had spared with alphas and betas regardless of their age, strength and background but he had never done so with an omega, much less a pregnant one. What exactly are the people of Aoba Johsai? Hajime would not have gotten away with it in Kitagawa Daiichi, especially not without Kokushi around. Dumbfounded, he looked at his brother for help.

“Iwa-chan is the strongest among all of us.” Tooru said proudly, hands on his hips, his nose high when he let out a huff. “He’d beat me every time I spar with him. Forget me, he could beat Mattsun as well, and that man is the Head of the Guard.” 

“Exactly. Come along, Tobio-kun.”

“Except you shouldn’t be sparring when you’re three months along, Iwa-chan!”

“I spared Matsukawa two weeks ago and came out completely fine.”

A very not noble-like shriek escaped Tooru’s lips. “You what ?!” 

“Don’t hold back, Tobio-kun.” 

Hajime had not broken his taunting gaze, waiting for Tobio to pick up the other wooden katana and spar with him. There was an aura that Hajime had been emitting, primarily through his pheromones, challenging the alpha to spar with him. Tooru was right to not mention Hajime in his arguments with their father because traditionalist conservative Kageyama Kokushi would have him banished from the lands. So Tobio picked up the katana, lined up the katana parallel to his line of sight as he positioned his body and in a blink of an eye, Hajime’s had clashed against his, an ear splitting CRACK echoing against the walls of the main courtyard.

Tobio had thought contending against Tooru for victory was the only thrilling sparring he’ll ever have in his life but he was proven wrong the second Hajime launched the first move at him at full speed and immense strength. He wondered at each attempt Hajime tried to attack, what was Hajime’s full potential, as he struggled to fend himself, finding himself defending more than attacking. The older man was fast— significantly faster than any other he had spared against. The fire in Tobio burned in elation for being able to fight against such a powerful wielder and he picked up his pace, despite the ache in his arms, finding an open spot for him to land a hit. However, all his efforts were futile when Hajime pressed the hilt of his katana against Tobio’s back.

“You’re amazing, Hajime-san.” He panted lightly as he got back on his feet.

Hajime shrugged and threw the katana towards the direction of a passing disciple, who squeaked to catch it. “It’s nothing. That was a good one.” He said with a smile, a hand on his back. “It wasn’t that easy to land a hit on you.”

“It’s still remarkable, Hajime-san.”

“Stop flirting with my husband, Tobio-chan!” Tooru’s shout echoed in the Main Courtyard.

✧✧✧✧

Tobio loved being here, taking in the new environment, giving him a fresh new look of the world. He loved being able to experience new things such as the local delicacies of Aoba Johsai that were served to him during dinner. He liked the sight of the lively town outside the gates of Seijoh where children run around without a worry for the world. He enjoyed trying out new things he would never have back in the Recesses.With Akira and Yutaro by his side acting similarly curious, Tobio felt like a little child again who would point at something he was unfamiliar with, demanding to know what it was. Up there was quiet, strict with the rules laid down for the clan and nowhere was there such levels of carefree behavior among the commonfolk. Dare Tobio say, Aoba Johsai was much livelier than back home.

And Tobio met Oikawa Tatsui for the first time. If Tobio was a carbon copy of Kokushi, Tooru was a copy of Tatsui, from the hair to the crests of his eyes. Tatsui was gentle and soft-hearted, and Tobio voiced his best wishes for the older omega’s health for he did not deserve anything Kokushi had done to him. Tatsui was also the one who offered Tobio and his guards to stay in Seijoh by the guesthouses in the West Wing for as long as their stay, which they accepted without question. 

With the granted leave-of-absence his father had given him, Tobio took every chance he could to explore every nook and cranny of Aoba Johsai within those ten days, with his very tired guards tailing him. Shigeru would accompany them around the town and Takahiro, who Tobio learned was Tooru’s right hand man– who was also strangely free, would join them, bringing along Akane, his five-year old daughter that copied almost every mischievous personality trait from her parents. Besides being in town during the day, at the beginning of sunset, Tobio would never miss the disciples’ daily concluding sparring session, watching the movements in awe. Sometimes Issei would give Tobio the opportunity to get his hands on the training katana, conforming his guards to spar with him, erupting the Main Courtyard with loud cheers, the disciples excited to watch two young men attempt to win against Tobio.

Nighttime at Seijoh was wonderful, the soft gaze of the moon falling upon them, reflecting against the lake’s clear waters. The temperature had fallen at nightfall and the residents had put on extra layers, whilst Tobio and his guards remained in their yukatas, enjoying the slightly warmer temperatures that they would normally experience in Kitagawa Daiichi’s summer. As the night progressed, the lights behind the residences slowly dimmed as Seijoh began its slumber. It’s the last night before his return to the Kitagawa Recesses and Tobio sat underneath a gazebo, while his guards scrutinised the water lilies floating on the calm waters of the lake. He listened to the gentle ripples of water underneath the pier, putting his mind to a state of calm.

“Are you not going to sleep, Tobio-chan?” 

Akira and Yutaro immediately bowed at the direction of the voice, where Tooru and Hajime walked towards him. “Oikawa-dono, Iwaizumi-dono.”

“I’d like to enjoy the last night.” Tobio answered, bowing slightly from his seat as he watched the married couple take their seats across him. “What about you, Tooru-san, Hajime-san?”

“Thought we’ll have a small chit chat before we go to bed. I won’t be around tomorrow morning, I’m needed elsewhere so I won’t be sending you off.” Tooru began, scratching the back of his neck. “You know, talk a bit since I won’t be seeing you much. You’ll be there and busy and all and Father will be at your tail always– you get what I mean.”

 “Oh. I see.”

“I’m just here to accompany him. Don’t mind me.” Hajime interjected, resting his head in between his arms that he had laid on the table.

“Iwa-chan, don’t tell me you’re going to sleep!” Tooru gasped. “You promised me!”

“I promised you that I’ll be here when you talk. It did not specify if I’m listening or not. I’m exhausted, let me rest after dragging me out late at night like this.” The omega grumbled, closing his eyes.

“You’re so mean.” 

Akira and Yutaro excused themselves, standing guard just far enough to not hear the conversation between the two brothers but be within their line of sight. With the absence of his two guards, Tobio felt a little intimidated by his brother’s presence. Judging by Hajime’s comments, Tooru had wanted to talk to him but was hesitant to, that he needed his mate to accompany him. He only kept quiet, waiting for the older to speak up. 

“So, you will be heading home tomorrow. Did you like it here?” Tooru asked, starting off easy.

“I do. It’s nice.. It’s different from back home. It’s a bit warm here though.” Tobio commented when a soft gust of cool wind brushed against his skin. “You like this place too, Tooru-san?”

“I love it so much. If someone were to ask me to leave Aoba Johsai, I’d rather die.”

“Huh?”

“It’s an exaggeration, Tobio-chan.” The older alpha sighed and stroked Hajime’s hair whilst carefully threading over the words he’d like to say. “You’re 20 now. You’re not so far away from being Clan Leader. Are you afraid, Tobio-chan?”

Tobio hummed. “I don’t know. I don’t feel anything.”

“Then it’s only natural for you. You’ll do amazing. No matter what Father stopped you or made you do, I’m sure you will do your own thing. We weren’t close but I’ve heard enough of how great you are. I don’t take the praises from Father’s mouth to come to this conclusion but I can believe those that came from the staff and disciples. Yahaba also kept me updated with how you were doing. You’ll be an amazing Clan Leader, Tobio-chan.”

“Do you think I’m going to be like Father?”

“No. That’s like asking me if I’m going to be like Father.” Tooru said with a scrunch of his face. “We may be his spawns but don’t ever think we will ever end up like him. We all crave for the freedom to do things we want, just like Father, but the way we do it is different. We won’t ever be like him. Don’t think like that, Tobio-chan.”

Tooru had sent him an assuring smile at the end of his sentence. The more Tobio knew about his brother’s struggles, the more he worried if he would grow to be similar to Kokushi. He was well aware that his mannerisms were not the same but it did not help that gnawing worry at the back of his head.

“Tobio-chan, do you remember that one day you fell into the pond because you were too busy trying to chase frogs?”

A small smile crept against Tobio's lips as the small yet vivid memory of his innocent 8 year old self fooling around in the Recesses’ gardens. Tooru was there by complete absolute chance, reading a book under a tree, when he dropped it all when Tobio tumbled into the pond. It was when Tooru emerged from the pond with Tobio soaked from top to bottom that Ayano freaked out. The staff panicked, scrambling to get the two young Kageyamas clean and dry before dinnertime, all to avoid an earful and maybe a punishment from Kokushi. 

“I do.” 

In the dark of the night, the two brothers reminisced whatever little happy and childish memories they had, the count being less than seven. Anything beyond Tooru’s age of 14 was the beginning of a nightmare. It was pleasant for Tobio to be sitting down with his half-brother, talking about their idiotic selves, as if they were not separated by conflict and their very own father, sitting in the comfort of each other’s presence.

“It’s getting late.” Tooru realised, noticing how his mate had dozed off, releasing a slow stream of calming pheromones. “We should talk again next time— whenever that is.” He said before clearing his throat and fixing his sitting posture. “Since we won’t be meeting each other again anytime soon and I’m assuming Father will not let you come by when our kid is born, I have something for you. It’s nothing that big, to be honest, since you came here at the very last minute. The very least that I could do is give it to you now before you disappear from my radar again.”

Tobio watched as his brother searched through his sleeves and pockets, holding back a laugh when he noticed the red tint on his brother’s ears. 

“Unfortunately I forgot about it back in my room.” Tooru coughed sheepishly, tugging onto the collar of his kimono. “I’ll get it now. Please don’t go anywhere and take care of Iwa-chan for me.” He said hurriedly, before leaving the gazebo, picking up his walking pace.

“Of all things he had to forget.”  Hajime had woken up in the absence of his mate’s pheromones, lifting his head from his arms. “He’s so stupid, I swear.” He mumbled, shaking his head as he yawned, sitting up straight. “Tooru won’t say it but he stayed longer for you. He was ready to leave long before his 20th birthday.”

“Then why didn’t he? He clearly disliked it there.” Tobio asked, as he watched Tooru’s shadow figure disappear deep into the West Wing.

“Because your grandfather passed away. He knew you relied on your grandfather just as much as he did so he knew how empty and lost you felt. He wrote in his letters telling me that he’ll hold out as much as he can.” The older explained, staring out into the night. 

I have had so many things taken away from me, Iwa-chan. I don’t have the heart to do the same to Tobio-chan. If I leave now, he’ll be forced to be the next Clan Leader and then his teenagehood will be taken away from him.  I am in no way similar to my Father and will not take something away from Tobio-chan. I’ll hold out as much as I can. I’m losing myself, so please pray for me, Iwa-chan. I love you.

There was a heavy feeling in Tobio’s chest. He and Tooru did not have a brotherly relationship back home yet his brother decided to bear another 2 years of pain and suffering living under the same roof as Kokushi, just so he would not have to carry another burden on his shoulders so early in his youth. He did not have any obligation to do that, especially not towards him, related only through paternal blood. He had no need to do any of that, the yelling, the beating – Why would he go through all that for him? It will all be more painful for Tooru than anything. But he did it.

Tooru was not the selfish person Kokushi had painted him to be: The traitor to Kitagawa Daiichi who betrayed the clan for his own personal goals. If Tooru had been following his personal desires, he would have long torn down the clan and left much earlier. Yet, he listened to the Father he hated and stayed for his brother at the expense of his freedom, sanity and safety. 

Tooru was selfless .

“Tooru-san is amazing. I wouldn’t be able to do it if I was him.” Tobio said softly, twirling his fingers. 

“I agree.”

And Tobio felt happy for his brother. After all that pain and suffering, Tooru finally found a place for himself with the family he loved and the people he cared for. Most importantly, he was now living in Seijoh in Aoba Johsai, the heaven in his eyes, and married to the love of his life, who was now carrying his first born. Tooru deserved all of this after all he had gone through and Tobio would argue with anyone who would bring down his brother’s name.

The same way Tooru had protected him, Tobio would like to do the same for his brother.

Tooru had returned with an omamori in his hand. “Here. To protect you from the devils in that clan. It’s not like I can watch over you anymore and when you’re Clan Leader there will be a bunch of people sneaking up on you so bring this everywhere you go so no one will hurt you.” He rambled, blushing from the awkwardness of talking to his brother and embarrassment for having forgotten the one thing he was supposed to bring.

“Thank you, Tooru-san.” Tobio said as he accepted the charm, bowing his head. “I will cherish this.”

Another gift from his brother. The first was the identity token of Aoba Johsai, recognising him as family and now an omamori. He clutched it to his chest. 

“We’ll retire for the night and so should you, Tobio-kun. You have a long journey ahead of you tomorrow.” Hajime said, getting on his feet with a groan, his hand on his back. “Have a good night, Tobio-kun.”

“Have a good night to you too, Hajime-san, Tooru-san.”

Tobio did not leave the gazebo immediately, enjoying the last of Seijoh’s beautiful night. Tomorrow, he’ll be back on the roads in the direction of the mountains where the Recesses were located. It will be back to mundane lessons and lesser sparring sessions, thick underneath layers of cloth to survive the harsh winter. He will no longer see the bright waterlilies and hear the soft splatters of the lake’s water against the stilts of the pier. 

Yet he remembered his grandfather’s words, ‘Your home is Kitagawa Daiichi, here in the Recesses ’ and told himself that Aoba Johsai was just a momentary joy, a splash of colours into his dull life. He should not get attached to temporary things when there is something waiting for him back home. Kitagawa Daiichi was not the worst place on earth, the people of Kitagawa Daiichi had been nice and polite enough to make pleasant memories but to reside in the Recesses was another story. Yet it had always been his home, Tobio could not imagine him elsewhere. He built his identity there, sharpened his skills and talents to be the man he was and unlike Tooru, all seemed tolerable there– for now , so there was nothing yet to grovel about there. Tobio walked back to the guesthouse, his personal guards following right behind him silently, the three of them ready to retire for the night.

When the sun rose, it was time to depart. It was a shame for such joyous moments to end but Tobio had reached an agreement with Kokushi. This end had been prematurely agreed upon. The young alpha strode down the pier with his guards behind him, his steps softly thumping against the wood of the pier. They were back in their Kitagawa Daiichi kimonos of white and blue, the yukatas they borrowed in Akira’s arms, to be returned to their rightful owner. Shigeru was not around, accompanying Tooru for his work, instead Issei was waiting by Seijoh’s gates. He was dressed formally this time, in a white and turquoise hakama topped with a white haori with gold trim. He would be their escort out of Aoba Johsai today. Hajime was also seen nearby, having a conversation with Oikawa Katsuro, Clan Leader of Aoba Johsai and his mother Tatsui as they waited to send them off.

“Good morning, Kageyama-dono. I hope you had a good time in Aoba Johsai.” Katsuro greeted, smiling at the trio.

Tobio and his guards bowed with respect. “Good morning to you too, Oikawa-dono. Thank you for your generous hospitality. We have enjoyed our stay in Aoba Johsai and we are grateful to be given this opportunity.” Tobio spoke as Akira returned the yukatas to the servant nearby.

“May the future allow us to cross paths again, Kageyama-dono.”

Seijoh’s gates opened, ready for their departure. Issei stepped out first, a hand on the hilt of the katana against his waist as Tobio gave their farewells. The Head of the Guard watched as Hajime’s cheeks flushed pink while Tobio’s ears turned red when the young alpha offered a small box wrapped in a soft shade of cyan to his brother-in-law, claiming it to be an advance celebratory gift. Tobio would not be dropping by Aoba Johsai for a while and he knew Kokushi would withhold any information or invites from the Oikawa Family in relation to Tooru. It’ll be better to give it now than never, even if the baby was seasons away from being born. 

The more steps they took, the smaller Seijoh shrunk in their view. The initially calm and quiet town had begun to bustle as merchants prepared for their day and eventually the noise that rose started to fade away, the further they walked from the main town. More trees came into sight, marking the beginning of the plains where they will trek on for the next couple days. They have reached the end of Aoba Johsai’s territory and Issei, not without a few remarks, bid his farewells and wished them a safe trip before leaving them to their own journey.

This trip to Aoba Johsai had meant so much to Tobio. He had met his brother and seen him happier than before in the Recesses. He also learnt the answers behind his pending questions regarding his brother. He experienced what life was like in Aoba Johsai and why his brother loved it so much. It was as if all those years of confusion had never existed. Tobio came with one motive and left with more. He felt a strong desire to challenge his father, to change what the clan had become during his 30 years of rule and to contest what his father had written for him. He felt an overwhelming sense of responsibility to return and become Clan Leader, one that would not treat the Recesses like a prison. He felt the need to remove the strings tied around his limbs to the puppeteer above him. 

The mistakes his Father had made were his to bear and he will be the one to revert the damage. But of course, it all stemmed back to the main problem before he could even become Clan Leader and make use of the power within his grasp, and that was to find a partner.

For now, that’ll be his highest priority.

Chapter Text

Leaving Aoba Johsai and returning to the Recesses was inevitable. Inside his bag were a few trinkets he had bought from the town, a couple gifts from the Oikawa Family and the omamori Tooru had given him the night before they departed. It’ll be a while until Tobio could see his brother again and he hoped that once he’s Clan Leader, he’d be able to rid the Clan from Kokushi’s ridiculous rules and norms. The two-day road trip was dull and Tobio was stopped by his own guards to even attempt to train with his katana during the nights of their travel because they were not willing to endure an exhausted Tobio up the mountains.

A few hours into the hike upwards towards the Recesses, Tobio noticed that they had been passing by far too many people on their way up. He wasn’t referring to merchants or servants of Kitagawa Daiichi but to the disciples from different clans. There were different disciples in a multitude of colours, either gasping and panting, climbing up the stairs or resting by the sides. Not many enjoy travelling to Kitagawa Daiichi with the primary deterrent being the flight of stairs so Tobio could not wrap around the excessive people by his path. 

Akira had caught his confusion and leaned close to him to whisper, “Tobio-sama, the exchange program starts today.” 

Tobio might have forgotten about it, too absorbed in the joys of Aoba Johsai to remember that something awaited Kitagawa Daiichi. With Kitagawa Daiichi ranking second best in education among all other Clans, Itachiyama being the first, disciples come flocking in for an exchange program during the winters. Tobio groaned under his breath, unhappy with the idea of a more crowded Kitagawa Recesses. The three of them had reached the top of the stairwell when they were startled by a loud voice and an absurd color of orange. Four disciples in black and orange stood by the gates and Tobio recognised them from the Karasuno Clan.

“Keep your voice down.” Hissed the blonde man, the tallest of them all, hunching, hands on his knees as he breathed heavily.

“We are actually here! See, I told you we’d be here early.” The orange-haired man exclaimed, not caring to look behind him where his other three friends struggled to stand.

“Early?! You’re breaking my legs, Hinata!” 

The orange-haired man, or Hinata, grinned and walked ahead, expecting the rest of his friends to catch up with him. The three watched as the group of friends headed deeper into the Recesses, indifference on their faces. 

It was later that night when Tobio learnt that the group of odd friends he had encountered were not part of the exchange program but instead, assisting in the exchange program. Following his routined schedule, it was time for his sparring session, much to his guards’ chagrin. A little earlier than usual and Akira and Yutaro were yet to be seen at the courtyard, Tobio found himself in the same vicinity as the four men he saw earlier that day. They were discussing who was in-charge of what in the kenjutsu programs, to which Tobio pieced two and two together to reach an assumption that they were the trainers. The blonde haired had caught his eye first, bowing immediately, urging for the others to follow suit.

“Eh?! The Unbeatable King?!” Hinata shrieked at the sight of him before bowing, smiling sheepishly. 

“Nice to meet you, Kageyama-dono. We will be the mentors for the kenjutsu training sessions for this exchange program.” Interjected a freckled boy with a gentle look on his face. “I am Yamaguchi Tadashi and this,” He pulled the loud man closer to him, “is Hinata Shoyo. We apologise for his behaviour. We’re pleased to be your acquaintance.” He said, before shoving Hinata into another bow.

The other two introduced themselves afterwards– Tsukishima Kei and Ryuunosuke Tanaka– and Tobio could catch a whiff of their alpha pheromones in the air, except for one. Shoyo was an omega. Particularly, an omega who was a samurai. While Tobio was never against the idea of an omega learning the ways of the katana, he was surprised that the Kitagawa Daiichi elders approved Shoyo’s role in the exchange program. He noticed that, similar to Hajime, Shoyo was built well, his shoulders wide and arms muscular. 

“Is there anything we can help you with, Kageyama-dono?” Tadashi asked.

“No. Please continue what you were doing. Do not mind me.” Tobio replied, walking to the direction of the rack of training katanas. 

They did as they were told but Tobio could not hold back his curiosity towards the omega. As he silently trained his swing while waiting for his guards, he watched the four from the corner of his eye. They were busy, appointing tasks to one another but occasionally, he would catch Shoyo’s eyes on him. Well, he was the Unbeatable King– though he’d like the people to change his mind as he was brutally shut down by Aoba Johsai’s Iwaizumi Hajime– so the stare wasn’t too foreign. It didn’t take too long until Akira and Yutaro arrived, their faces evident from exhaustion from the long trip.

And like always, the moment his guards swung their katanas at him, the world around him deafened as Tobio’s focus fell onto the sword. Tobio easily swung his arms, eyes focused on the swords of his guards. Akira was playing more passively today, working closely with Yutaro who played offensive, trying to land a hit on their lord. Tobio’s fighting style often evolved faster than Akira and Yutaro’s adapting time, leaving them no room to find a loophole in Tobio’s movement. Yet, in the end, they agreed to work together to attempt to win against Tobio, to achieve at least one victory.

Tobio’s alpha strength should never be underestimated, even if he had walked miles from Aoba Johsai to Kitagawa Daiichi. So easily as ever, both Akira and Yutaro were defeated, on the floor, panting. He pointed his katana at them again, demanding another fight only for Yutaro to signal him a timeout, shaking his head at the same time while Akira laid motionless on his back, closing his eyes as if to tell Tobio that he wasn’t listening. Tobio’s growth was too hard for the betas to catch up to him that at some point, both Akira and Yutaro wondered if Tobio even needed a personal guard, let alone two.

“Kageyama-dono! Let me spar with you!”

At the mention of his name, Tobio turned his head to the source of the voice, not a tad bit surprised to see it came from Shoyo. The others had looked at him in despair, hoping that he would at least request for a sparring session properly. There was determination in Shoyo’s eyes, the same fire that Akira and Yutaro had seen far too many times. Tobio turned his body to face the omega who’s drastically shorter than everyone at the courtyard and hummed to himself. He had not spared any omega other than Hajime. This would be a good chance to learn, he believed.

“Sure. I spar with anyone I deem worthy.” He said, earning a loud ‘thank you’ from the latter.

Hajime sure had set a high standard for fighting omegas as Tobio found himself easily landing hits and dodging Shoyo’s advances. Shoyo was in no way weak, the way his katana would clash against his was a clear demonstration of his strength and speed, but he lacked a certain level of technique and awareness. If he had any of those, Tobio was convinced that Shoyo would be as strong as Hajime. But as of now, Tobio triumphed over the other flawlessly and he started to think that this fight was unfair. Yet no matter how many times Tobio had defeated him, Shoyo would demand for a rematch as he got back on his feet.

Tobio would continue until midnight if not for a nagging voice who belonged to Kunimi Akira wouldn’t stop bothering him, reminding him that he had classes to attend the following day early in the morning. Despite retiring for the night before the four, Tobio laid underneath the thick layers of his quilts, staring up into his ceiling. He’d come to realise that he had been interacting with far too many omegas who could fight within these past few weeks. Firstly, it was Hajime, then Takahiro and now, Shoyo. Raised within the premises of Kitagawa Daiichi all his life, all he had seen of the omegas of his clan were mostly domestic. No involvement in clan matters, simply staying at home and taking care of their family. He could see it in his own mother, Ayano, who had barely any say with what her husband desired.

Kokushi had always been traditionalist but he wondered if this was how it had been even before Kokushi’s rule. He knew his grandfather was more open-minded than his own son so had it always been a norm to be traditional in Kitagawa Daiichi? His father was greatly liked by the elders so Tobio wondered if it had to do with Kokushi’s traditionalist mindset. He supposed that there was a reason why Kazuyo was hidden away from the public eye after Kokushi stepped up as Clan Leader. Shrugging, Tobio closed his eyes to get some shut-eye before he’s forcefully woken up by Akira in the morning.

✧✧✧✧

Between his classes, Tobio would take a stroll down the hallways on the Recesses where the main classrooms were, curious to see what the disciples would be doing at that hour only to see disciples nodding their heads off sleepily to their lecturer. It was the same old syllabus, he noticed, wondering when they would change it. He had endured it before, so did Akira and Yutaro and neither of them liked it one bit. Tobio would usually have no interest in checking the courtyard as the skillset the disciples were taught were lower than his. This time, he found himself walking towards the courtyard.

It’s mildly snowing and the disciples were in their winter attire, donning their haori with their clan crest on their back. There was no disciple from Aoba Johsai, Tobio noticed. He watched as the disciples attempted to swing their training katanas while shivering from the low temperatures. Their cheeks pink from the cold as they tried to keep their attention on their master. Their master was Ryuunosuke, the bald man Tobio saw last night, accompanied by the other three who would walk around the courtyard, checking on each disciple if their stance was right or not. 

“Why did they hire people from Karasuno this time?” Yutaro wondered out loud, leaning against a pillar. “They had always been consistent with Shiratorizawa. It’s not like Karasuno is exceptionally great either.”

Akira crossed his arms, solely to keep himself warmer. “I heard that after Oikawa-dono ran away, they had trouble getting people from Shiratorizawa to help.” He recalled. “I mean, Aoba Johsai did form an alliance with Shiratorizawa. It’s probably not nice to work with someone your alliance partner had an issue with.”

“I’ll never understand politics.” The other beta commented. “That’ll be your job soon, Tobio-sama.”

“Unfortunately.” Tobio murmured before leaving the courtyard.

Yutaro was right when he said that Karasuno was nowhere as great as Shiratorizawa, from clan size to their clan’s fighting style. Merely observing them, they were mediocre at best. They do not belong to the Five Great Clans– the clans being Itachiyama, Fukurodani, Inarizaki, Shiratorizawa and Kitagawa Daiichi, and it made no sense for Kitagawa Daiichi to recruit men from Karasuno, a lower classed clan, to assist them with the exchange program. If the situation was like what Akira said, Tooru’s defection had sent a blow towards the clan.

Tobio would like to think otherwise about Karasuno, however. Observing them sparring one another as a demonstration made Tobio come to a conclusion that Karasuno’s unpredictability was the key to their fighting style. Clans had become accustomed to sticking to one fighting style with slight variations here and there, valuing consistency. Karasuno was not and he could see it in Shoyo when Shoyo sparred against Kei. He was a hidden talent with unlimited stamina and extreme agility, as well as his terrific attack speed. His lack of technique and awareness could be taught but that natural talent could not. Tobio was convinced that if he had any proper training, Shoyo would be a disaster on the battlefield.

Shoyo requested another sparring session with him later that night. Tobio was just about to grab the katana when the omega appeared from nowhere, bowing as he shouted respectfully for a moment to spar. If there was one thing he had learnt about Shoyo was that he had zero fear of being perceived. No one in Kitagawa Daiichi would dare come up to Tobio to spar, let alone unannounced. Being titled as the Unbeatable King did deter people from him, especially when it comes to kenjutsu, and Shoyo was not fearful of him at all. If anything, he was eager to hone his katana-wielding skills with Tobio, all in the name of growth.

“One more!” Shoyo had shouted, when Tobio’s blade touched his arm.

Tobio could not wrap around Shoyo’s motivations. He had claimed victory with a 15-0, yet the omega would insist on doing a rematch, even if the next would end within a couple seconds. Even at the 47th defeat, he was still determined to bring him down. Tobio could only look at the other with confusion on his face, eyes narrowed and his lips pursed. Akira and Yutaro had arrived at their 21st round, both mirroring the same expression on their faces. Anyone would have given up at this point, probably losing some morale yet Shoyo was standing before him, exhausted with a stupid determined look on his face.

If it wasn’t for Kei grabbing Shoyo high up in the air, it would continue on. Tobio was not getting tired of it, simply dumbfounded at the profound steadfastness in Shoyo. With the Karasuno men gone, Tobio began his sparring with his guards. He would not want to admit it, but ever since he was able to spar with his brother and his brother-in-law, no one else could thrill him as much as they did. Akira and Yutaro were strong, a tough pair as opponents, but Tobio was stronger . To add on, his guards had been sparring with him for a few years now, he also was getting tired of their fight style. While Akira and Yutaro were still finding ways to claim victory against Tobio, Tobio could very easily dominate them, further proving his title as the ‘Unbeatable King’. 

Maybe he’d request sparring sessions from other clans to quench his thirst for stronger opponents.

Tobio was adamant at the fact that Shoyo was a hidden weapon yet to sharpen. Like a routine, Shoyo had showed up at the main courtyard the nights afterwards, snow or not, to spar with Tobio. The alpha would always win, the omega ending the sparring sessions with a zero score. It was on their 9th nightly sparring when Tobio glared down at the orange-haired man, who had tumbled over on his 32th loss. His guards had not joined this time so it was just the two of them in the main courtyard, as snow rained down on them.

“What exactly do you gain from sparring with me?” He asked, his voice low.

Shoyo blinked, getting back on his feet while picking up his katana. “You’re strong, Kageyama-dono. I can only get stronger by sparring with the strong.”

“But you’re losing all the time.”

“I’d like to win but I won’t get strong immediately. The more I fight you, the stronger I will get.”

Tobio frowned at those words. “Sparring with me because I’m strong is one thing. Are you even learning anything from trying to defeat me?” He questioned, approaching the omega, unaware of the pheromones seeping off him. “You keep losing. What have you even learned from these sessions?”

Shoyo was not intimidated by the pheromones, unconsciously releasing his own, thick of pride and confidence. “Are you telling me that you’re not a good role model, Kageyama-dono?” He challenged, looking up, matching his eye level with the other. “Did you think sparring with me was a waste of time? You could have just rejected me at the beginning. I’m a simple person, Kageyama-dono. I want to get stronger and I will learn anything from anyone stronger than me to get stronger. Kageyama-dono, if you see me as a threat to your throne, just say it.” 

Tobio’s right eye twitched. No one besides his father had spoken to him in that manner. Akira and Yutaro had spoken roughly to him before but all in the name of jokes. But Shoyo was serious, his pheromones overwhelming his nostrils as he stared down at Shoyo’s glaring eyes. He had seen that emotion behind Shoyo’s eyes before. It was the same emotion behind Tooru’s when Tobio defeated him in his first and last spar in the Recesses.

Pride and ego.

Except Shoyo’s weren’t wounded like his brother’s, instead Tobio’s questioning only fueled them.

With a humph, Tobio picked up the training katana that he had dropped on the floor and his lips curled into a smirk. “I don’t see anyone not at my level as my threat. You were nowhere near that.” He commented. “Do you wish to be my rival? My equal on the battlefield? Then you’ll have to become as strong as me.”

Shoyo’s expression softened into a grin, pointing the training katana in his hand to the other. “If being Kageyama-dono’s rival is what makes me stronger, I’d take it. Teach me your ways and I’ll defeat you one day.”

The alpha raised an eyebrow, not losing the smirk on his face. “All in the name of growth.” He agreed before raising his sword and charging towards the other, the clash of their katanas echoing in the dark night.

Tobio found himself putting an excessive amount of attention on his nightly sparring with Shoyo more than his studies. It frustrated the elders. With less than 2 years to ascend as Clan Leader, they were getting restless at Tobio’s never improving grades. Akira had relayed the message to the young alpha but Tobio could not give himself a single care of the world about his studies. Why study when eventually his right hand man will do almost everything for him? Both his guards had given him a judgemental look when he said that. 

Instead of revising his lessons, Tobio was often at the main courtyard at night, swinging arms against Shoyo. Occasionally the other Karasuno samurais would join, sparring against him in pairs, only to be defeated by the alpha. Akira and Yutaro could only watch from the sidelines, arms crossed as their eyebrows knit together as they wondered how were they going to deal with the nagging elders and upset Kageyama Kokushi. 

Shoyo improved exponentially ever since their agreement that night. Sure, Tobio had taught the omega a few tricks here and there but Shoyo on his own was picking up strategies simply from fighting Tobio. His speed had also increased and as they near the end of their two months, the two of them would spar for longer time. His footwork became more coordinated and so did his attacks. While Tobio could easily counter it, Tobio had to resort to other defenses. With Shoyo drastically improving, Tobio did not hold back his strength, putting in all his force to beat Shoyo. The smaller man was gifted with speed and agility and what he lacked in technique and strategy, Tobio had filled those gaps, turning Shoyo into a rather dangerous weapon. 

Pride swelled in Tobio’s chest when Shoyo landed a hit on him on their 58th night at his 62th try. It was like creating your own weapon and seeing it work the way you want it to right before your own eyes. The omega was shocked himself, blinking profusely at the fact he managed to hit the Unbeatable King of Kitagawa Daiichi. Blood rushed into his cheeks when he exclaimed, jumping high in the air, celebrating his accomplishment. Tobio huffed as he watched Shoyo shouted in joy, his eyes glimmering with a sharp glint of craze. 

“Hinata Shoyo. One more.” He demanded, grinning widely as his raven hair fell over his eyes.

Tobio had asked for a rematch for the first time.

Was that victory a fluke? Shoyo had not won at all after that but it did not matter. No matter how many times Tobio had won, he had also struggled to secure a win. It was a fresh touch to his mundane life, to be able to find someone close to his caliber, that can get him panting and heart jolting at the sudden attacks shoved at him. This orange-haired omega might overtake him anytime soon but Tobio did not care. 

Quote Shoyo’s words: ‘I’m a simple person, Kageyama-dono. I want to get stronger and I will learn anything from anyone stronger than me to get stronger’ . Tobio was no different than that. A stronger opponent meant an opportunity to grow: Hajime, Tooru and now Shoyo. Tobio raised his katana over his head and yelled, slamming it down but Shoyo had dodged it, shouting as well, countering with his own katana.

Akira squinted his eyes, leaning against the railing as they watched the two spar for what seemed like the thousandth time that night. “I’ll be damned if I get called tomorrow morning.” He mumbled.

Yutaro sighed, stepping closer to the other. “Might as well embrace it. They’re stinking up the whole courtyard. At some point someone is going to wake up with how they’re– oh no.”

As betas’ receptiveness to pheromones were weaker, Akira and Yutaro felt their blood run cold when the density of pheromones in the air spiked. Their heads snapped towards the source and the strength only got stronger. Instinctively, they ran. Tobio and Shoyo had not stopped swinging their swords at one another and intensified their sparring, the frequency of the clash of their katanas increasing substantially. The closer Akira and Yutaro got to them, the stronger the pheromones invaded their nostrils and with all the might they had, they pulled the two away from each other.

“Stop it!” Yutaro yelled as Tobio struggled in his grasp, pushing down the urge to throw up at how intense the pheromones were now that he was in close contact. “Snap out of it!”

Akira used his upper body strength to force Shoyo away from Tobio, hooking his arms underneath his armpits. He had underestimated the omega’s strength, almost tumbling over his own feet when Shoyo threw himself forward, trying to escape the beta’s hold. This is ridiculous , Akira thought, as he yanked himself backwards to stop the smaller man from escaping. Stupid alphas and omegas. 

“What are you doing?!” Tobio bellowed, his eyes red with fury.

Yutaro tightened his hold, unaffected by the clear attempt to intimidate him, and pulled Tobio away with a grunt. “You’re going to offset your rut early, you idiot!” He yelled back. “And you’re in no place to say no!”

“Hinata-sama, please don’t make it difficult for me.” Akira begged, wincing when Shoyo growled. “I’m trying to make your life easier here, please.”

Without a word exchanged between the guards, Akira and Yutaro had moved in opposite directions, dragging a half-sane human in their arms. Akira was grateful for Shoyo’s height but Yutaro struggled as Tobio’s strength outweighed his, eventually having to pin the alpha onto the pebbled floor for his own ease to contain the raging alpha. What seemed to happen after passed in a blur when Tobio woke up underneath layers of blankets with sunlight shining into his window.

“You’re awake.” Akira mumbled, seated at the corner of his bed. “Your Father would like to see you.” Fragmented memories of last night gradually seeped in and Tobio frowned. Akira grabbed the hilt of his katana and stood. “And you should apologise to Hinata-sama.”

Tobio could only nod.

The next thing he knew he was at Kokushi’s study, head hung low as his father’s eyes drilled holes into him. He could smell his father’s pheromones, a mix of anger, disappointment and something close to.. pride ? Nevertheless he focused on the first two as these emotions would be most likely the ones determining his fate. Tobio felt uneasy under his father’s gaze, the said man not saying a word for the past 20 minutes since Tobio had showed up. Tobio was somewhat grateful for the silence, as compared to Tooru’s scoldings, Kokushi would try his best to find the right words. In the end, he could not ruin his perfect alpha son.

“Do you know what you have done?” The Clan Leader finally spoke, tapping his finger impatiently against the table before him.

Tobio kept mum.

“Do you know what damage you had brought to the Clan? ‘The Future Clan Leader and a lowly disciple sparred to the point they triggered each other’s cycles’. Doesn’t that sound like such perfect gossip in this country?”

“I’m–”

“Not only the fact that he was an omega wielding a sword, you sparred with him. Why have you stooped so low to fight someone who was weaker than you? You are an alpha. You only duel those at your strength. Imagine what people would say. An alpha sparring with an omega? Have the alpha no pride by fighting the weak?”

Tobio blinked. That was what he was worried about? His mind was confused. One, he was not being reprimanded for being unable to control himself and his desires which influenced his pheromones. Two, there was no scolding of respecting omegas as an alpha. Three and the last, Tobio was not sparring with someone weak for it to be such an insult to his ‘status’ and alpha image. But primarily, Kokushi’s focus in this huge incident was Tobio’s reputation as an alpha to the people inside and outside Kitagawa Daiichi.

“I will close one eye at this.” Kokushi said, standing up from his place. “You better protect that image of yours. You will be Clan Leader and as an alpha, you do not fight the weak. That act was shameless of you. I will hire stronger disciples if I have to, as long as you do not spar with those lower than you.”

Kokushi gave Tobio no room to speak or defend himself when he left his study, shutting the shoji behind him. Tobio turned to look at the direction his Father left. Somehow, Tooru was right. He was easily let go, even though he was in the wrong. That left an uneasy feeling in his heart. His father’s obsession with his son’s alpha reputation was out of hand. 

Perfect alpha this, perfect alpha that .

Kageyama Tobio had made a mistake. He was not perfect. 

Guilt flooded him and he stormed out of the study. Just because Kokushi had not reprimanded him for his reckless actions, it did not mean Tobio was not wrong. His loud and heavy footsteps startled nearby staff and disciples, an awful noise in this early morning. Meanwhile, his guards hurriedly trailed behind him as he walked towards the direction of the dorms the outsiders were staying in. He’s pissy and aggravated, especially that he had entered his rut, his face contorted into an expression of irritability. Akira and Yutaro shared concerned looks to one another when Tobio stepped into the dorms, searching for a particular orange-haired omega. 

“Kageyama-dono. You should not be here.” Ryuunosuke warned, a hand on the hilt of his sword. “I will not hesitate to use my strength against you.”

“I am here to apologise.” Tobio said, too sharply to sound sincere. He was truthfully ashamed and drowning in guilt for what he had done but his rut was messing with him, making him more edgy than he should. “I’d like to see Hinata-sama.”

“You cannot. Not after what you have done. Do not make me–”

“Kageyama-dono?”

At one corner of the hall was Shoyo. He did not look any different than before, just a soft flush on his cheeks. He stood there in the hallway, his eyes fixated on him. His pheromones were also nowhere to be found, unlike Tobio’s, put in control by scent blockers. At the sight of Shoyo, Tobio pushed past Ryuunosuke, got to his knees and bowed to the lowest, on his knees and hands at the feet of Shoyo’s, earning a startled squeak from the other. 

“Hinata-sama! It was rude of me to put you in such a state. I lost control over my own pheromones and had triggered your cycle. It was incredibly unprofessional of me to do that to you and I’d like to seek your forgiveness for my errors!” Tobio shouted, his forehead touching the cold wooden floor.

“I- I… Kageyama-dono, please get off the floor.” Shoyo whispered loudly, his face painted with horror. “This is embarrassing.”

“I will not raise my head until you acknowledge my apology. You are not obligated to accept it as I understand that I have triggered our cycles. But it is under my obligation to seek forgiveness!”

“Okay okay! I forgive you!” Shoyo exclaimed, sighing exasperatedly. “Just please, get back on your feet. And you don’t have to do all that, we are equals, are we not?”

With that, Tobio raised his head from the floor, slowly getting back on his feet with confusion etched on his face. “Equals?”

“You told me that if I beat you, we will be equals… rivals, as well. Unless you take back your word, that is.”

Shoyo was right. Tobio did taunt him that day. The day Shoyo won against Tobio was the day they became rivals, equal on the battlefield. 

“I suppose we are.” Tobio dumbly muttered.

The omega shrugged to no one in particular. “Then there is no need for apologies like this.” He assured, scratching the back of his neck. “And it’s also not entirely your fault. I was so engrossed in this program that I forgot my heat could come anytime. What happened yesterday, it took two hands to clap. So I’d also like to apologise for my negligence.” Shoyo said, bowing.

“I accept for the reason that I was mainly the problem.” Tobio insisted, before being shoved away by Ryuunosuke, who stood between them, protectively. “Are you alright?”

“I am fine, not ideal but I’m doing okay.”

“Great. If there is anything I could do to make up for this, let my guards know.”

“He won’t need to.” Kei, the blonde alpha, interrupted, emerging from a nearby room. “He will be leaving today.”

Tobio did not miss the way Akira and Yutaro stiffened at the corner of his eyes. “You have yet to finish the kenjutsu training program in three days. Why are you leaving so early?”

“Hinata has been requested to leave immediately. I’m sure as the future Clan Leader of Kitagawa Daiichi, you’ll understand the reason why.” Kei said, not tearing his gaze away as the tone of his voice dropped, laced with animosity.

“Tsukishima!” Shoyo cried, his eyes wide with warning to keep the other quiet. 

Tobio frowned. “What happened?” He demanded an answer, turning to his guards who flinched at his gaze. “What happened?” He repeated, this time more authoritatively. Him being in rut absolutely did nothing helpful to his current bad mood.

Akira was the one to speak. “The Clan elders had decided to ban the entry of omega samurais into the Recesses overnight after the incident. They mentioned that it was a disgrace to… culture and nature. Hence, that’s why Hinata-sama will have to leave in an instant.”

Tobio was appalled. The Kitagawa Daiichi Clan had already restricted the admission of omegas for their classes, including exchange programs– but to ban omega samurais was preposterous! That was not all, it was the fact that Kokushi agreed to it and legalised it. Such a specific ruling was obviously targeted at Shoyo– maybe Hajime if Kokushi remembered the existence of his son-in-law.

“Look! It’s all because of me, okay? I was given the opportunity to join, even though I was surprised they let me help out in the program. This would not have happened if it wasn’t for me.” Shoyo tried to explain.

It was not. It was not the truth and because it wasn’t, it was not right for them to do this. Tobio had a part in this whole fiasco but who took the brunt of it all? Shoyo. For a more generalised statement? Omegas. He felt anger bubble up in his chest. Kokushi must have concluded that Shoyo, or specifically omega samurais, had caused a rift in Tobio’s alpha image and decided to get rid of them, to maintain the reputation he had built for his son, brick by brick. 

It’s the same thing over and over. Removing factors that could ruin his sons’ identity to maintain their level of reputation. Kageyama Kokushi had done that for years. Tooru was an example of his failed attempts. First, he got rid of Aoba Johsai from Tooru’s reach. Then, he took away his freedom during his youth to train as a Clan Leader, and lastly, removing the concept of choice in marriage from Tooru. His perfectionist ways aligned with his desire for power because if it wasn’t for the authority in his hands, he would not be able to get his sons to do as he wished. So now that Tooru was gone, Tobio was his second chance and something that Kokushi had realised he couldn’t let go. 

Kageyama Tobio was too perfect for the outside world to ruin. 

So Kokushi would take away the things around him that could possibly taint his son, even if it was something ludicrous, even if it meant taking away something he enjoyed.

Tobio’s jaw clenched in frustration and immediately he bowed as an apology. “I am sorry for being unable to stop this from happening. Please let me escort you out at least. That is the least I could do.”

✧✧✧✧

The walk towards the bottom of the mountains began silent except for the crunch of their feet against the pebbled stairs, the huffs and puffs of their breaths and the occasional grunts. As promised, Tobio had escorted Shoyo down the mountain, with his two guards and Ryuunosuke, who insisted on joining them. Yutaro led the way while Akira covered the back. There was not much to carry for Shoyo’s return to Karasuno as the majority were still left back in the dorms for the remainder of the program but Tobio insisted on holding one of Shoyo’s two bags, slung over his shoulder.

In the early morning, not many people trek the path upwards to the Recesses, especially due to the chillier weather, so they were not expected to bump into people. Accompanying Shoyo down felt a bit melancholic like it was a symbol of Tobio’s careless actions due to his love for kenjutsu and the excitement coming from meeting a new formidable opponent. He sighed, tucking himself into his padded haori, slowly taking his steps down the flight of stairs, careful to not accidentally let go of Shoyo’s bag. 

“Kageyama-dono.” Shoyo started, his voice soft. “Thank you for spending your time with me. It’s great getting to spar someone so powerful and strong with the sword.” A soft smile appeared on his lips and he chuckled. “It’s been a while since I’ve had so much fun sparring with someone. Makes me feel like a kid holding a katana for the first time. You’re a really cool person, Kageyama-dono.”

“I- Well, uh- I’d like to thank you too for entertaining me during my sparring sessions.” Tobio replied awkwardly. “I’ve never really sparred with omegas.”

Shoyo laughed. “I can tell. You were unsure on how to spar with me.”

“Sorry. It’s new to me. Omegas here don’t get to learn any sort of weaponry. Has it always been like this in Karasuno? Do all omegas get to become samurais?”

“It doesn’t matter who you are back home. It’s just a matter of whether you are strong enough or not. Alphas, betas, omegas… Men or women. If you’re strong enough to become a samurai then you become one. The Head of the Guard is an omega and he’s the one who I strive to become in the future.”

Tobio hummed. “I see. That’s interesting.”

Shoyo smiled. “It is but I know I’m at a disadvantage. Not only am I short, being an omega meant lower muscle mass and gifted strength. That’s why not many omegas make the rank but when we do, it’s an accomplishment for us. Who cares what we are if we can do the same things others do?” He said, playing with the hilt of his sword. “But of course, not everyone believes in this.”

The young alpha frowned. “Unfortunately.”

“Regardless!” Shoyo yelled as he jumped onto his feet, drilling his heels into the ground while startling everyone with his loud voice. “I do not care what people think! I’ll be the Head of Guard just like Asahi-san and maybe that’ll tell the other Clans that we omegas can actually do things!” He pledged, hands on his hips.

There was a fire in Shoyo’s eyes burning with determination. In his eyes was his desire to be strong and show that no matter how disadvantaged he was, he can become as strong as anyone. His eyes sparkled with excitement at the thoughts of the future he wished to reach. Tobio’s heart fluttered.

“Well before you can be the Head of Guard, you’re going to have to pass the Final Exam first.” Ryuunosuke interrupted, eyebrows raised, arms crossed with a smirk on his face. “You haven’t passed a single exam at all.”

The small man’s cheeks blushed red as he spluttered in his words, trying to defend himself. “W-Well, I can do it! Somehow! One day!”

Shoyo talked most of the way down, Tobio replying in short sentences and Ryuunosuke leaving cheeky remarks at Shoyo’s comments. It’s interesting to hear stories coming out of the omega’s mouth, that it kept them entertained, Akira had to admit, throughout their descent. Listening to these stories coming out from the mouths of the men of Karasuno felt different from those from his clan’s. Tobio's interest was piqued. Maybe one day, he’ll drop by Karasuno and the Karasu Fort and learn more about their culture. When? Before or after becoming Clan Leader? That’s something he’ll have to think about much later, there are more pressing things to worry about (his father).

“I fear this is the furthest we will go.” Yutaro announced as they reached the townside by the bottom of the mountain where the morning crowd bustled with business. 

Shoyo smiled and turned to face them all, bowing deep with his two bags over his shoulder. “Thank you for your company!” He said, his eyes forming into crescents as he smiled.

The journey back to Karasuno was not as far as it was to Aoba Johsai, a mere one day journey— two, back and forth. “Have a safe journey, Hinata-sama. Let us know if you have safely arrived home.” Akira said, even though he knew no one in the right mind would send a letter to the Recesses announcing their arrival home. “We apologise for the inconvenience caused.”

“Yes. Whatever my father had done because of my own actions, I’d apologise for it. I can send Yutaro to accompany you back to the Fort.” Tobio offered, not missing the twitch in his guard’s eye. “Your safety is important.”

“I’ll be fine. If I can win over you, I can definitely defend myself out there.” Shoyo reassured, patting the hilt of his katana, his chest pumped out with bravery.

“I’m less concerned about you being ambushed. Do not get lost, otherwise Daichi will strangle me.” Ryuunosuke warned, nudging the younger with his arm playfully . “Take care.” 

Tobio had noticed since the day he first saw them, that the four members of the Karasuno Clan had a sibling-like relationship. As he watched Shoyo and Ryuunosuke banter playfully and teasingly with one another, a little part of Tobio’s young mind wondered: What would it be like if he and Tooru had been closer? He sighed and watched Shoyo prepare himself for his solo return home, ensuring everything was secured and ready to go. Somewhere inside his body felt tingly when Shoyo faced him fully, his orange eyes looking into his.

“We’ll spar again, Kageyama-dono. I will not forget you and the next time we meet, I will win. And that’s a promise.” Shoyo declared, tauntingly, extending a closed fist outwards.

Tobio loved challenges. His lips curved into a smirk and he nodded. “Deal. I’ll see you again, Hinata Shoyo.” He said, pumping his fist against the other’s. 

After Shoyo’s figure disappeared into the crowd of the town, Tobio kicked a lone pebble off the stairs as they trekked back up, at the dawning realization that his life was back to normal, a mundane cycle of studying and training. He let out a long sigh. 

Tobio was now 8 months away from turning 21 and with the elders clinging onto his back, there was no way he would be able to sneak away from the routine. Ever since the rut-heat sparring incident (or what Kokushi would call it the Uncouth Omega Incident , which Tobio found himself getting upset hearing), his schedule became less amiable to Tobio’s liking. They had dragged his classes across the day to block any opportunities of making free time. It was made so he would be completely exhausted at the end of the day, leaving him no room to spar with anyone.

A few days after the change of schedule, Tobio was irritable. The only way to break the monotony of his Clan Leader preparation was kenjutsu and now that was taken away from him. He was tired of looking at the scribbled passages, ancient scrolls and unacceptably long passages written in his textbooks, and all he wanted was a break from looking at them for a full day. With this new schedule, he was more mentally taxed than physically. The elders were geniuses too, ensuring his personal guards drained off their energy so they could not give Tobio a chance to spar. It was so infuriating for a young man like Tobio that one day, three weeks after the change, he stormed off in the middle of class and headed straight to the main courtyard.

Akira and Yutaro had clambered off their seats to chase him, begging him to return back to class, otherwise Kokushi would have their heads. Tobio only ignored their calls and grabbed a true katana, its blade recently sharpened, before swinging it in the air, a gust of wind loud in the thin mountain air at his swing. His fingertips burned at the contact of the sword, his heart elated at being able to touch the katana and for the first time in those three weeks, there was a genuine smile on his face. His surroundings blurred, Akira and Yutaro’s voices fading away, as he pictured an opponent before him, putting their all in fighting him. His katana sliced the air at every swing he took as he breathed through his nose, his feet moving gracefully at each attack. 

It was like Tobio was drunk, drunk on kenjutsu .

And like an addict, no one can take it away from him.

Tobio did not notice the commotion around him as disciples and staff had gathered around the courtyard, nor did he realise the ferocity in his father’s voice when he bellowed at him. Tobio was unbothered. He loved every second he was holding the katana as the blade shone under the sunlight, the sword light in his hands. He danced around the courtyard with his blade, attacking and defending the silhouette before him. The silhouette was blurry when he first materialised it into view but the longer he was on the courtyard, the clearer the opponent became. It started off with the height. Small and below eye level. Then it was the eyes: A pair of dark amber eyes staring into his soul as it approached him. Then it was the orange hair. Fluffy and bouncing despite the cold weather. 

Hinata Shoyo was his opponent, his perfect opponent. 

No one dared approach Tobio, not wanting to face the dangers of Tobio’s blade hurting them. His speed surged and so did his attack strength. Each slice of his sword created an audible ‘swish’ in the air with how powerful his swings were. Tobio danced across the courtyard while Shoyo mirrored his actions. The two moved within the floor of the courtyard where each attack Tobio made, Shoyo would counter it perfectly. Tobio was no longer sparring in the middle of the day. He was now sparring Shoyo in the middle of the night, their fiery passion burning up the air of the courtyards. His heart hammered in his ribcage and a surge of adrenaline rushed into his blood, in both excitement and thrill, as his body swayed in harmony with Shoyo, their katanas clashing with one another, Shoyo shooting him a taunting smile every once and then. 

Tobio’s lips parted to let out a joyful laugh, only for his immersion to break when a sharp pain struck his left cheek, followed by a clattering sound of metal against the floor. He was now back in the present time, the noon sun glaring above him. A strong metallic smell hit his nose as blood dripped onto the courtyard floor. His grip on the katana weakened, the strength in his body too when he looked down at the bloodied kunai on the floor. There were not many people who learnt how to use the kunai– especially in such precision. He could name a few at the top of his head: Himself, Tooru, Kazuyo— a few elders here and there, and his father . Not so far away Kokushi was staring at him, eyes cold and sharp, with another kunai in his other hand in case he missed. 

Tobio’s heart dropped. 

His father had wounded him.

✧✧✧✧

At these moments of his life, Tobio wished he could pull an Oikawa Tooru and that was to run away– well for most of the part, it was just a joke. He wouldn’t dare do that but right now, he was truly considering it. He sat on his bed, eyes downcast while a servant treated his injury, wincing when the alcohol touched the open wound. His sister sat to his right, giving him a hand in case he needed to squeeze at the pain. Tobio did, tears bubbling into his eyes when the maid proceeded with the treatment. Akira and Yutaro were not with him. They were currently in Kokushi’s study. Tobio hoped his father wouldn’t go so hard on them.

The cut right on his cheekbone stung and numbed the entirety of Tobio’s face but was not deep enough to make him bleed for hours. At every touch of the cloth dapped with alcohol, Tobio would flinch, gritting his teeth as he braced the pain, the maid not meeting his eyes at all during the treatment. Tobio’s pheromones were full of distress and hurt – hurt that his very own father would hurt him. He could see himself in Tooru’s shoes, recalling the sight of his abused brother stumbling out of the study with wounds and bruises all over himself.

“Will he need stitches?” Miwa asked as the maid finished up the dressing, the gauze pressed tightly against Tobio’s cheekbone.

“No, it is not dire enough for stitches. I’ll return tomorrow to change the dressing and see if it worsens.” The maid informed Miwa. “You should refrain from talking too much in case it tears again and you’ll start bleeding. Call me again if the bleeding resumes.”

The maid excused herself, leaving the siblings in the room. Tobio had not spoken since the injury and he did not want to. He’s hurt and his heart ached in pain. The image of Kokushi’s infuriated expression kept flashing through his eyes– a horrifying image that sparked fear within him, something he had not felt for a while ever since Tooru left the Recesses. The pheromones his father let out choked him there in the middle of the courtyard, commanding him to obey, to succumb, forcing him to be on his knees, his own blood seeping into his clothes. 

Tobio’s hands shook in fear and his body started to shiver, battered breaths leaving his lips as his eyes clouded with tears. He felt lost and alone. Was this what Tooru felt when he had Kokushi breathing down his neck every second? Was this what it felt like to be left in the power of his father? Was this why Tooru ran away from home? His chest tightened as his senses turned foggy, not registering his sister’s hands on his arm. 

He’s caged , locked behind a prison, observed by the one and only Kageyama Kokushi.

Tobio could not register what happened next for the next thing he knew he had collapsed in his sister’s arms and the world had turned dark.

The first thing Tobio saw when he woke up was Miwa, his sister seated on the floor to his bed, sleeping soundly with her head between her arms. The second was an unfamiliar face belonging to an alpha slightly older than him, standing at the foot of his bed. She was a samurai, judging by her attire and the pair of sai at the sides of her waist. Before Tobio could ask who she was and what she was doing in his room, she beat her to it.

“I am Nakayama Kotone. I am your newly appointed guard, Kageyama-dono.”

“Huh?” Tobio croaked, sitting up, stirring Miwa awake. “What? Where are Kunimi and Kindaichi?”

Kotone bowed apologetically. “I am unaware of your previous guards’ whereabouts, I apologise, Kageyama-dono. I was just assigned to replace them.”

Tobio would want to scream in despair but his heart felt too heavy for him to react. He sat on his bed and Miwa saddened at the sight of sorrow in her brother’s eyes. She knew that while Akira and Yutaro were his personal guards, they were the closest to him for the past 5 years. 

Tobio’s shoulders slumped and a soft voice left his lips, “I see.”

Tobio’s life turned a 180 that day and so did Tobio. Miwa observed as her brother returned back to his reserved self, treating everyone like strangers and addressing everyone with formality, even to his own sister. Unlike how Akira and Yutaro had dropped their formalities with Tobio despite being his guard, Kotone was just a guard, shadowing his footsteps, in and out of class. He did not wish to deepen his relationship with her and had hardened the walls to his heart with reluctance to get to know her. A week after Kotone’s appointment, Tobio managed to find out what truly happened to Akira and Yutaro and when he did, his emotions were in turmoil. He was a mix of everything negative: fury, exasperation, anguish and misery.

Akira and Yutaro were dismissed from the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. And by being dismissed, they’re no longer part of the clan. And by the statement of ‘no longer part of the clan’, it meant that they no longer resided in the Recesses— their only homes. They were orphans raised in the Kitagawa Orphanage. Now that they were dismissed, they practically had no home to return to, now that they’ve surpassed the age of 18. Both of them had trained so hard to climb up the ranks of disciples at such a young age and to even earn the title of being the young Kageyama’s personal guards, just for it to be rid of their hands with a decision made by Kokushi. Tobio could only pray that his former guards were able to find a roof over their heads because no one would tell him what happened to them after they were dismissed. He didn’t even know why they were dismissed. Was it because of their presumed incompetency to guide Tobio to the path Kokushi made for him? Or was there something else behind their dismissal?

Kokushi also ordered changes in the Recesses. The disciples’ kenjutsu training lessons were no longer held in the main courtyard, instead in the Recesses’ massive hallroom where exams were held. All the training equipment that were normally kept at the corner of the courtyard were no longer to be seen. All these changes were to keep Tobio away from his beloved hobby and keep his focus on the growth as Clan Leader, cramming multiple classes for Tobio. He even took away his very own katana that his grandfather had specially forged for him, telling him that his only protection would be Kotone, defending his decision that it was not like he would be leaving the Recesses to defend himself.

Miwa’s heart shattered at the sight of Tobio one day when she caught him crying in Kazuyo’s old bedroom. It’s been three years since it had been refurbished into a lounge but the scenery had always been the same, the same scenery Tobio would face whenever he listened to Kazuyo’s voice. She stayed outside, listening to Tobio’s heart wrenching sobs. One day became two and two days became three. Three days became four, four became a week and a week became a month. Everyday Tobio seeked solace in the dark of night, staring out the one specific window Kazuyo would sit near when he was still alive. Some days, Tobio would cry, sometimes he would stay there silently. And every day Tobio was there, Miwa accompanied him outside quietly. 

✧✧✧✧

Tobio was turning 21 in five months. The end of his deal to the challenge had yet to be prepared yet he could not be bothered to care. His life had been in shambles. Everyday was to wake up, eat, study till late night and sleep, the same routine over and over again for the past 3 months. There was no light left in his eyes when Tobio looked into the mirror for the first time in a while, his expressions just like Tooru’s. He chewed his food slowly when Kokushi brought it up, preening at the sight of his now obedient son.

Tobio knew he had nothing to offer so his father, overjoyed, mentioned that he’ll invite Hikaru over for their first official meeting in the next two weeks. Tobio had said nothing and focused on his food. He left the dinner room, dragging his feet as Kotone followed him to the last class of the day. A few disciples walked past him, bowing enthusiastically at his presence, but Tobio did not respond, ignoring them. He had no energy to deal with the disciples, not now, maybe never. He was the Unbeatable King that the disciples had looked up to, but Tobio had found himself beaten underneath Kokushi’s hand, so there was no pride in that name anymore. He’s nothing now.

Kageyama Tobio was the Clan Leader’s Puppet.

Whatever that was thought to him that night entered one ear and left from the other. Tobio was never bright in his studies and all these classes only made him hate studying. He felt Kotone’s presence follow behind him when he walked towards the direction of his room. It’s been three months since her appointment and he started to get irritated by her presence. She was not Akira and Yutaro and she’ll never be them. He swung open the shoji to his room and shut it loudly, telling her that she’s done for the day. The moonlight seeped into his room, brightening up his bed. He’s exhausted, physically and mentally. He just wanted all this to end but when would it be the end? In the next 30 years? Will it all end when he steps down as Clan Leader?

Right when he was about to take off his clothes to retire for the night, a soft knock on the wood of his shoji alerted him. Initially Tobio was about to snap, telling Kotone to leave him alone, but when he realised his sister’s soft beta pheromones, he turned to his feet to open the doors. Miwa stood before him.

“You’re sleeping awfully early.” She commented.

“I’m tired.” Tobio was not lying when he said that. He noticed Kotone standing by the end of the hallway. “Do you need anything, Miwa-san?”

“Accompany me to the townside? I’m craving some candy” 

“Specifically from the townside? Isn’t it late for you to go down? Will Father allow this?”

“He’s fine with it. I asked him and he told me to bring you.”

Tobio’s lips pursed in confusion but shrugged acceptedly. This wasn’t the first time Kokushi had instructed Tobio to accompany his sister to the townside but in the night, it was. He knew Miwa had a thing for the candies made by the commoners at the bottom of the mountain (it’s better, she claimed once) and he’d decided to not argue with her requests. It was dark on the way down, despite the candles lit to light up their path. Kotone walked before them, a lantern in her hands. With the winter season long ended and now the middle of summer, Miwa fanned herself at the last few steps of the stairwell. Kompeito, small sweet candies, was the main reason Miwa dragged Tobio down and he was ready to walk back up the stairs again when Miwa pulled him to a dango shop, ordering his favourite milk-flavoured dango. 

“Let’s hang around for a while.” Miwa said, offering one berry-flavoured dango to Kotone. “It’s not very often we get to come here at night.”

Tobio only nodded, following his sister who was now searching for a good place to sit down and relax. She turned to a corner where a tavern’s garden was located. It was her favourite spot when she was a child and the owners had let her use the garden without any fee or request. Normally she’d come over alone, occasionally with some of her friends, treating it like a haven. Stepping in, Tobio was knocked by a strong scent of flowers. Bushes of hydrangeas in pink, purple and white, occupied his sight, their colors bright in the dim light from the candles in the premises. It was well maintained, the lush green grass trimmed with perfection and its inviting paths of stone across the garden clean from dust and dirt. A soft lamp was lit in the middle of the garden where the stone garden table was settled. 

Except there was an out-of-place splash of color in the garden.

An awfully familiar shade of orange.

Hinata Shoyo, accompanied by a silver-haired man, was sitting by the stone table. He had a hood over his head but his bright hair peaked from the corners of the hood. The two men were in black hoods with orange lining and stood up from their seats to bow in their direction. Tobio blinked. Why was Shoyo here? He watched as Miwa returned the bow, followed by Kotone, leaving him last. Except he didn’t as his body was frozen in shock at the sight of Shoyo.

“Thank you for finding time for this meeting, Sugawara-sama.” Miwa greeted. “I apologise for requesting this timing.”

Tobio recalled that Shoyo had mentioned this Sugawara man the day he was being escorted out of the Recesses. Sugawara Koushi, an alpha mated to another alpha, who was the right-hand man to Karasuno’s Clan Leader, chuckled, waving a dismissive hand. 

“There was no trouble finding time, Miwa-sama. We’re glad to help out.” He said, putting a hand on Shoyo’s shoulder. “I have brought you Hinata as promised.”

Shoyo grinned, bowing for another time. “It’s nice to meet you, Miwa-sama.”

Tobio looked at his sister, trying to understand the situation they were in. Miwa noticed it and smiled, taking away the uneaten mochi stick from her brother’s hand.

“I figured you’d want to spar with him again.” She said, extending her hand to Kotone, who placed the hilt of a training katana, one she had been hiding in her coat, onto Miwa’s palm. “I couldn’t do much to stop Father from taking this away from you but this is all I can do. Sugawara-sama had been awfully helpful in arranging this too.”

“Huh?”

“Be quick. We have less than two hours before midnight. We wouldn’t want Father to know.”

Tobio looked at the katana Miwa had offered to him. Instead of taking it, he faced his sister again then towards Kotone, perplexed. “Wait… you knew?”

“Yes, Kotone knew all along. She’s a close friend of mine.” Miwa explained, Kotone nodding in agreement. “Now, go go. There is enough space for you and Hinata-sama to spar together.” She said, pushing the katana to his chest, the young alpha finally grabbing the weapon. “Come on, now. He’s waiting.”

And indeed, Shoyo was. 

He had taken off his outer layers, now in his black-orange hakama with Karasuno’s crest at his chest. Shoyo already had a katana in hand, ready to start the session. The katana burned in Tobio’s hands. It’s been so long since he held one. Tears bubbled up in his eyes and his sister’s face blurred in his vision, his lips trembling. Tobio choked out a cry before launching towards his sister, bending his body to bury his face in her shoulder.

“Thank you.” He managed, his voice shaky.

“This is nothing..” A hand stroked his black hair gently. “You deserve more than this. You’ve been strong, Tobio.”

Tobio pulled away with a pout on his lips, wiping his eyes furiously with his free hand. Miwa giggled, pushing her brother towards Shoyo. “Enough wasting your precious time and go.”

Koushi and Miwa stayed by the stone table, talking away with Kotone staying guard. Tobio and Shoyo had moved to one empty space, standing across from each other.  It’s been a while since he’d last seen Shoyo and if he was right, it was about 3 months since they last saw each other. Shoyo looked like Shoyo: The same height, same bright orange hair, same youthful face, the same eager cheeky smile– of course, he’d be the same, unlike Tobio himself, who’d looked like he had went through war, with his sunken cheeks, his darkening eyebags and lifeless eyes. 

“You look horrible, Tobio.” 

Tobio blinked. The omega had dropped formalities. No Kageyama-dono, not even a Kageyama-sama, or Tobio-sama. Just Tobio.

And he loved it.

Formalities reminded him of his place in the Clan: the uprising Clan Leader. A person that he will be the moment he turns 22, in the beginning of winter, where powerful men and women gather to watch his ascension.  A person who will rule the Clan and the land they live in. A person who will listen to the likes of their people, the elders and his father.

But today he was just Kageyama Tobio, a young alpha who loved being himself, attached to the sword.

Shoyo immediately defended himself, raising his hands before him. “Look, your sister told me to treat you like a friend and drop formalities.”

Tobio’s lips curved into a small smile. “No. It’s fine. Please call me that from now on.”

The orange-haired man returned the smile. “Nice! You can call me Shoyo too! Or Hinata, if it’s weird for you.”

“Hm, alright… Shoyo .”

And their swords clashed. 

Tobio, who had not touched the katana for months, was slightly rusty in his movements, hesitating when he normally wouldn’t and missing when he would normally hit. Shoyo, on the other hand, was easily dodging Tobio’s advances, this time more easily than the last time they sparred. Tobio would swear that Shoyo had drastically improved, in terms of speed, strength and technique , the one prevalent problem Tobio noticed when he first sparred him.

Several minutes in and Tobio felt like he was back to his own self, his body fluidly moving to the beat of the sword, his focus heightened as he watched Shoyo’s moves. His arms swung in the air like wings, ready to fly and reach the skies. The two moved like a rhythm, like a dance , as they attacked and countered simultaneously, their bodies dancing under the moonlight on the dirt grounds of the tavern’s garden. Their training katanas clanked against one another, producing a beat-like wooden music, while their feet shuffle against the ground as their clothes swish beautifully along with their movements. 

Tobio’s heart beat erratically against his chest, from euphoria and elation. He loved this. He loved this so much. He’d never want to let go of the sword. He’d never want to give his time away for something else. He’d never want to sacrifice something he loved to an obligation put up before him. He gripped the katana tightly and swung hard, only for Shoyo to push his own against it, defending himself from the attack. 

Ah yes, and he loved sparring with Shoyo. If Kageyama Kokushi had a perfect son, Kageyama Tobio would like to call Shoyo his perfect opponent. 

The two of them sparred until their bodies ached, moving non-stop until Koushi called them to stop, indicating the end of their sparring session. Tobio dropped his katana on the floor, the adrenaline that was at its peak now dropping, a gush of sadness rushing into him. Time flew by too fast. Kotone picked up the dropped katana and hid it under her coat, before grabbing a towel from her pocket to wipe the sweat from Tobio’s face. The man jerked away, eyebrows knitted.

“So your father doesn’t smell your sweat.” Kotone stated, rubbing the towel against his sweaty forehead. “And no, ‘You can just tell him I climbed up the stairs’ will not work on your father.”

“Hope you enjoyed your time, Tobio.” Miwa said, smiling, returning the mochi stick to her brother. “Don’t be sad. You’ll see each other again, in the next two weeks.”

“What?”

“I’ve arranged for you to meet him fortnightly. Well, until you get engaged, of course, whenever that is.”

Tobio stuttered, “But how? What about Father? It’ll get too obvious, no?” 

Miwa sighed. “It was hard trying to convince him but I managed to get this schedule out for you.” She said, scratching the back of her head. “Don’t think about that, I’ll handle it. This is the least I could do after all these years.”

“No, thank you. This is amazing.”

“I’m glad to hear.”

“We’ll see you again in the next two weeks, as promised, Miwa-sama.” Koushi said, bowing as he handed over the hooded cloak to Shoyo. 

“See ya, Tobio!” Shoyo exclaimed, flipping the hood over. “I’m going to win against you more.” 

Tobio’s eyes glinted in excitement. “I’d like to see you try.”

✧✧✧✧

The Clan Leader did arrange a meeting between Tobio and Hikaru and two weeks had passed, a day before his fortnightly kenjutsu with Shoyo, Tobio was seated across Hikaru. She looked slightly older than she was the last time he saw her– and that was during Tooru’s final rejection for engagement. She’s matured, her young features now looking more adult but her natural beauty remained. But all these features would not make Tobio attracted to her, let alone get engaged to her and marry her.

“Will you reject me the same way your brother did?” She asked, taking a sip of her tea. 

Tobio kept mum. It would be hard on Hikaru. Imagine being rejected by someone for a total of 7 times, and now being offered again as a partner to another man. A person’s self-confidence could have been broken by now, helplessly waiting for someone to take their hand in marriage. Hikaru had older siblings, all omegas and married off, and she was the only unattached sibling. Hikaru was beautiful, yes, but Tobio couldn’t see a future with her. Elders would just tell him to marry her and let love do its job after the marriage. 

For Tobio, he didn’t believe in the chances of this.

“You do not have to keep it a secret. I know someone who wants me and who doesn’t.” Hikaru said softly, putting her cup down.

“I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to apologise for. Why don’t we get to know each other instead? We don’t have to come to an agreement at this early stage. So, I heard you like kenjutsu. Is that true?”

Tobio, young and inexperienced, was grateful that Hikaru was willing to create small talk. The same way he let Takahiro, Issei and Hajime lead the conversation, the woman would talk and he would respond. Hikaru was a nice lady and she was gentle with him, talking to him like an older sister would. Tobio respected her, starting to see her more of a sister figure, maybe more of a mother figure than his own mother. He would listen to her stories and she would listen to him, nodding to his statements. As he watched Hikaru’s ministrations, he agreed to open up his heart. He did not openly reject her, so the agreement to an engagement had not been finalized. At the end, Tooru did mention that love can happen at any time, with the right person. 

Was Hikaru the right person? Tobio was not qualified enough to say yes or no.

Kokushi wasn’t entirely pleased that the two exited the room without an agreement to engage but since it was Hikaru that announced the talking stage of their relationship, he could not get upset about it. Tobio did catch the subtle glare towards him when Hikaru was talking to him but brushed it off. If anything, he’s grateful that Hikaru decided to take the brunt of it. And like always, his father had agreed to another meeting with Hikaru without his son’s input, saying that they’ll make it a monthly thing until the engagement was agreed upon. Kokushi was specific about the deadline this time, which was Tobio’s 21st birthday. He was clearly trying to rush the engagement but there was nothing much Tobio could do.

At least for now, his schedule was slightly favourable. He now had something to look forward to outside of his extremely boring and routine schedule of studies, studies and dreadfully, studies . He’d be looking forward to those fortnightly sessions with Shoyo, excited to hold the sword again and swing his arms to his heart’s content. With everything had been taken away, Tobio would grasp any opportunity blessed to him. The day of their sparring session, Tobio would become fidgety, eager for the night to come, so he and Miwa would ‘visit the townside’ for snacks and relaxing. 

Orange had become such a pleasurable sight to his eyes now, especially Shoyo’s hair and the iconic orange colors of the Karasuno men’s attire. The nights he sees orange will be the night his heart beats against his ribcage, running with adrenaline as he swings his katana. The nights he sees orange, his heart will feel at ease while he releases all the frustration with a swing of his blade. The nights he sees orange, his heart will be full of exhilarating emotions, getting stronger the longer he sparred, the longer he stared into Shoyo’s amber eyes when their swords collided with immense strength. The nights he sees orange, his heart will calm down as he rests himself on bed, eyes closed to pull him into a long restful sleep.

Every night he sees orange, Tobio feels at peace.

Besides that, his monthly meetings with Hikaru had been amicable, just chatting and telling each other stories of their childhood or whatever that had happened when they weren’t around. He did notice every time his father was notified of the almost non-existent progress in their relationship, his eyes would twitch and his jaw would tense up. Yet, there was a shield before him, the shield being Ishikawa Hikaru herself, being the person who’d talk to Kokushi after the meeting. Well, it only worked three times in a span of three months as at the fourth, Kokushi must have nudged her father to confront her about the delay. She sat across from him with an apologetic smile on her face.

“I fear we’d have to start talking about the engagement and the agreement by today. Your father is cross.” Hikaru said.

It’s their final meeting. Tobio’s 21st birthday will be coming in another three weeks. It was brought forward this time, two weeks earlier than what was agreed upon. Kokushi had rushed it. Tobio was bitter about it but he kept quiet, though inside he was upset that the end of meeting Shoyo biweekly would come earlier. As usual, all good things come to an end. 

Tobio sighed. “I guess so.”

“Why don’t I ask you? Do you want to be engaged with me? Then marry me for life?”

“I.. I don’t know.”

“So it’s a no, then.”

“I’m sorry.” The young alpha said, head hung low. 

“This is going to implicate you more than it’ll implicate me.” She reminded him, folding her hands on the table. “You’re aware of that, right?”

An image of Tooru’s injured body lying on the ground flashed across his eyes. The chances of him being wounded again were there. There was already a scar across his left cheekbone, an art piece from Kokushi himself.  “I know.”

“And you’re still not going to agree to this engagement.”

“I.. I do not wish to marry you, Ishikawa-dono.”

The same words that Tooru had said had now left Tobio’s own lips. Tobio was scared of what’s to come. 

“I see. I do not want to marry you either.”

Tobio snapped his head up, eyes wide. “Huh?”

Hikaru smiled. “You’re not the only one.”

“Oh.” So there was no need to worry about Hikaru’s well-being if he were to reject it. 

“Again, it’s nothing about you. Or your brother. I love someone else.”

This concept of love confused Tobio again. It has made people do things, from a range of acceptable actions to irrational ones. Kokushi committed infidelity, Tooru broke the rules and defied their father openly… but Hikaru was willing to follow her fate that was put down by her own father? Or could it be that Hikaru had not loved anyone yet when she met Tooru? 

“You look confused.” Hikaru pointed out. “If you have questions, just ask.”

“Why are you doing this then? If you loved someone, why are you letting yourself get engaged to someone else?” Tobio blurted out, albeit too loud for their liking. He hoped that Kotone and Hikaru’s guard had not picked up on his question.

Hikaru hummed. “Well, I’m doing this to protect us. Of course it meant that we won’t be able to meet each other often and be together like loving couples do but if I could protect us, this would be the best course of action.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She’s my guard. I had loved her since she was appointed and that was 10 years ago. If I do something stupid, she’ll get dismissed.”

10 years ago. Hikaru already had someone when she was offered away to Tooru by the Head of the Ishikawa family. The circumstances were the same. Being offered to Tobio for an engagement was her second rodeo. Yet, she continued to listen to her father to keep themselves protected, at the expense of their life as a couple.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, in fact I’m glad. If I’m truly honest, I’m not sure what the outcome of the situation would be like once you reject me. I’ve heard what happened to your brother. Your father may or may not act similarly.” Hikaru said, sighing. “Anyways, what about you? Do you have a reason that you do not want to be engaged with me?”

Tobio blinked. “I.. I don’t.”

The older tilted her head, blinking. “Hm? No loved one? Hidden partner? Your brother had one. You don’t have any? Then why are you rejecting me? Not targeted, by the way, simply curious.”

“I just don’t see myself getting married to you. Sorry”

“Okay.. Not offended by that, don’t apologise.” There was a short pause before she continued the next sentence. “Are you sure you don’t like anyone?”

“I don’t think so.”

“No one that makes you look forward to seeing them? No one that made your heart at ease? No one that could make you feel like they’re your world?”

There was a fleeting thought that passed Tobio’s mind but he ignored it. “... No. I don’t think so.”

Hikaru was perplexed but accepted it, merely shrugging at Tobio’s insistence. “Then, are you willing to tell your father that you’re rejecting the engagement? Just so you’re aware, I’m willing to proceed with the engagement. If you need another time, then maybe we can organise another meeting before your 21st. At least, your father would be less unhappy.”

Hikaru was more or less accurate with her judgement, probably due to the multiple times she had encountered Kokushi. The old man was not happy with the outcome but was agreeable to the idea of them meeting one more time before coming to an agreement. He gave them two weeks to think about it and this time, demanded them to come up with a statement about their engagement with no room for negotiation. Tobio knew his father wanted him to agree to it but while Tobio was slightly willing to try this out, the engagement just felt…. odd. It didn’t sit right with him.

None of this did.

“You’re distracted.” Shoyo said, as he slammed his sword against Tobio’s. “That’s unlike you.”

Tobio frowned and took a few steps back before swinging his arm. “It’s nothing.”

“Your Father?” Tobio’s silence was the answer. Shoyo sighed, advancing forward. “If you need an ear, I’m more than willing to listen. I can do more than sparring, you know.”

“Hm.” Tobio hummed, lightly pressing his hilt against Shoyo’s arm, returning to his standing posture. “I’m getting engaged and I think my Father won’t take no for an answer.”

“I see.” The omega said, nodding his head in understanding when he shot Tobio with a smile. “Well, I think you’ll do well.”

Something about the smile did not reach his eyes.

✧✧✧✧

Kageyama Kokushi was grinning from ear to ear. His son had agreed to the engagement. The Head of the Ishikawa Family mirrored the same smile as the two fathers gazed down at their children, Hikaru standing politely and Tobio’s face composed. Kokushi was laughing inside. He knew Tobio did not want this engagement. He knew all the stunts both Tobio and Hikaru had tried to pull to delay the engagement with the attempt to have him change his mind. To see his own son finally concede to his command sparked immense gratification in him.

Excitedly, Kokushi announced that they’ll hold a small engagement ceremony in a month’s time, keeping Tobio’s engagement secretive, meant between the two families and a few high-ranking elders. The celebration was small for a purpose for he had decided to make a grand announcement during Tobio’s ascension ceremony, to treat the engagement as a magnificent event. On that day, the world will erupt in Kokushi’s eyes because finally, he’s able to show his final product of a son to the rest of the country.

Kokushi was a narcissist. To keep all this information of Tobio and Hikaru’s engagement secret was a ploy to hype up Tobio’s reputation. He imagined the rumors that would spread across the Recesses when Tobio walked around the premises with an engagement ring in his finger which would eventually reach the townside. He’d want the clan to be excited for his son. He’d want everyone to talk about him. All this so he could show Tobio off on the day Tobio becomes Clan Leader, like a perfect product he had manufactured from scratch.

Like a trophy. Not a son, not a human being– a trophy .

Hikaru sat with Tobio across from her as she fed the koi fish in the Recesses’ main garden the leftover bread from dinner. It’s a silent Friday night with Kotone and Hikaru’s guard, Sayu, guarding them from afar. It’s been two days since Tobio agreed to be engaged to Hikaru and Tobio had felt uneasy since. The woman was beautiful and nice to him, certainly a great partner to be with but she was not his. Hikaru loved someone else.

Was Tobio ready to live a life knowing his spouse did not love him? Or was Tobio ready to live a life attached to someone he didn’t love?

Tobio fiddled with his fingers as he stared at the glistening waters of the pond. His life had changed so much since Tooru left and it’ll be changing once more once he stepped into life as a Clan Leader and husband in 11 months. He was not willing to drop everything he loved for this tradition but what else could he do? Kokushi had gone miles to stop Tobio from doing the things he wanted, even to the point of putting down a ban. He let out a long sigh.

“Shouldn’t you be on your way to meet him?” Hikaru asked, dusting the crumbs off her kimono, then pointing towards the direction where Miwa had been waiting for him.

“Yeah.” Tobio mumbled.

“Then why aren’t you moving?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t feel good seeing him.”

Hikaru raised an eyebrow. “And why is that?”

“He wasn’t like him the last time I saw him.” Tobio murmured, scratching the back of his neck. 

“What have you done?”

“I don’t know. He didn’t say anything.”

“Did you mention our engagement?”

Tobio pondered for a while. “I.. I did. But why would that matter?”

The woman smiled. “Why don’t you ask him yourself later? You’re not going to meet him anymore once we are engaged. It’s good to clear things before you go different ways.”

And that was how Tobio was on his way down to the townside to meet Shoyo for the second-last time. With Tobio’s scheduled engagement coming in a month, there were only two more final sessions and at just the thought of it made Tobio’s heart shrink. He’ll have to abandon the sword once again like he had months ago against his own will but there was just something about this routined sparring session with Shoyo ending that left a void inside him.

As expected, they arrived at the garden late, Shoyo nowhere in sight but Koushi seated at the stone garden table. He was eating something when they arrived, bowing his head slightly at the sight of them. Tobio gulped. Where would that orange-haired omega be? Could it be they’re cutting it off? Koushi’s eyes landed on him and smiled gently.

“Don’t worry. Hinata was a little hungry and had gone for a snack. He’ll be back.” He assured Tobio.

The younger alpha only nodded.

“Then I, too, shall find myself something to snack on. If it wasn’t for this slowpoke, I would have been eating long ago.” Miwa complained, turning on her heel, gesturing to Kotone to accompany her to the stalls. “You stay here, I’ll get you your mochi.” She ordered Tobio, before sending a wink towards Koushi.

Tobio took the training katana from Kotone and watched as his sister and his guard left the garden, closing the door behind them. Muffled conversations echoed from the tavern nearby as well as the occasional laughs coming from the drunkards inside. He was about to head to the spot where he and Shoyo would normally spar when Koushi spoke up.

“How has your life been, Tobio-kun?” He asked, patting the empty chair beside him.

The raven-haired turned to face Koushi. “It’s been okay, I think.”

“Hinata told me that you’re getting engaged soon. Congratulations!”

“T-Thank you, Sugawara-san.”

Tobio took his seat beside Koushi. This was the first time he had seen Koushi up close. His silver hair was swept neatly to one side and his face gave off a very gentle expression, as the moonlight fell on his skin. Koushi was a good person, he remembered Shoyo telling him, in fact, the person who encouraged Karasuno’s current Head of Guard to pursue his dream as Head of Guard, despite being an omega. Suddenly, Tobio felt some sort of yearning, similar to the one he felt when Kazuyo was still alive. All Koushi did was to be present and his presence had a comforting aura, making Tobio feel safe around him. Call him naive but that was what he needed at the moment.

“I hope you've enjoyed the past few months, Tobio-kun. I’m sure what is coming next will not be easy.” The older alpha said, sending him a calm smile. “We won’t be meeting each other once you’re engaged. Don’t miss us.” He added cheekily, teasing him.

“I’ve enjoyed it very well. Thank you for helping my sister out and all that. It’s all well-planned.” 

Koushi shook his head. “Not much came from us. All we had to do was find a date and bring Hinata along. Most of the work came from your sister and she did amazing.” He said humbly. “I’m also amazed how she managed to pull this off without your Father knowing. She’s incredible. I’m starting to think all Kageyamas are great”

“I’m not that amazing.” Tobio admitted.

“What do you mean? You’re insane with the sword and flew up the ranks? Beat your own brother in kenjutsu?” Koushi exclaimed, his face shocked with Tobio’s downplay. “Tobio-kun, you’re far more amazing than you can imagine.”

“I’m not. Not when I’m doing everything my Father wants me to do.”

“... I see. So you did not want to get engaged.”

“I don’t.”

“Do you have a reason?”

“I don’t– I don’t know. This engagement just doesn’t feel right to me.”

“Doesn’t feel right to your morals or to your heart?”

Tobio tilted his head. “I don’t understand.”

Koushi hummed, crossing his arms and leaning them against the stone garden table. “Let me explain it better. Are you against the engagement because you’re against the concept of marriage and you do not believe in it? Or are you against the engagement because you liked someone? Or in the situation you have yet to realise your feelings for someone, you cannot imagine a life without them once you’re engaged to someone else?”

Tobio’s brain took a while to process. He’s mostly leaning to the fact that he had yet to understand the concept of marriage, its unfamiliarity and uncertainty… he’d admit that it's scary and to be married to someone he had no bond to was terrifying . Hikaru was nice but what came after the marriage still remained questionable, especially that she loved someone else. He looked away for a moment, to think of Koushi’s words. 

“Or are you against the engagement because you liked someone?” 

His thoughts were interrupted when a jovial voice broke the quiet atmosphere as Shoyo joined them in the garden with Miwa and Kotone in tow. 

Was there someone he liked?

“Just so you know, Tobio-kun. No sane human being would be eager to travel for two days back and forth just to swing katanas with someone.” Koushi pointed out, his voice soft and low, just enough for Tobio to hear, before turning his attention to the three. “Welcome back, Miwa-sama. I hope you have found your snacks.”

✧✧✧✧

Tobio did not sleep that night. He laid in his bed pondering Koushi’s words. The short conversation had sparked so many questions, forcing him to think and ponder, reflecting on his reluctance to get engaged with Hikaru. He sat up with a frown and threw his legs off the bed, before walking out of his room and straight to Kazuyo's old room. The young alpha leaned against the window, gazing out at the beautiful mountainous scenery but instead of admiring, he continued to think as he played with his sleeve. 

“Or are you against the engagement because you liked someone?” 

Tobio’d like to think he’d not like someone to the point he’s willing to drop the engagement. He liked Akira and Yutaro… but as friends. He’d liked a few other classmates in the past too but their relationship with him did not warrant a refusal to an engagement. He had met many good-looking people, Hikaru included, but none of them were likeable to the point of questionable actions. He’d tried to think of Tooru, but his brother had not told him how he loved Hajime, and what made him like Hajime. 

“Or in the situation you have yet to realise your feelings for someone, you cannot imagine a life without them once you’re engaged to someone else?” 

Many people had left Tobio’s world. First his grandfather, then his brother, then his guards who he called friends. He suffered each time they disappeared and struggled to get back to his feet as he tried to get over it. But out of all, it was his grandfather’s death that impacted him the most. He had cried, isolated himself away from people when Kazuyo passed away in his sleep. But this wasn’t what Koushi was referring to, wasn’t it?

Tobio imagined what Tooru would be like if Kokushi had successfully married him off to Hikaru and the image was horrid. His brother would be depressed, yearning to leave the Recesses for Hajime. The memory of Tooru sobbing in Hajime’s arms during his 20th birthday flashed across his mind. Tooru certainly couldn’t live without Hajime. 

Tobio recalled what Hikaru told him. The engagement would protect Sayu and Hikaru was prepared to get engaged to a man she didn’t love to protect them. Even if Hikaru and Sayu were unable to marry and live a married life together, they’ll still be with one another, as lady and guard. For 10 years, she had loved Sayu. She would not let go of her guard, protecting her with the shield that came along with the engagement. Hikaru would do anything to keep her and Sayu together, even if they had to hide their love from everyone.

Was there anyone in Tobio’s life that would make his life miserable if they’re gone?

“Just so you know, Tobio-kun. No sane human being would be so eager to travel for two days back and forth just to swing katanas with someone.” 

Tobio grumbled, leaning his head against his crossed arms resting on the windowsill. He could not find the connection of that statement with the questions he was bombarded with about his engagement. In what world did kenjutsu have anything to do with engagement? He closed his eyes to think again.

And his heart jolted.

Koushi had been referring to Shoyo . Shoyo would head over to Kitagawa Daiichi’s townside every fortnight, travelling for two days in total every two weeks. He did it so Tobio would have an opportunity to kenjutsu. True, no one would travel just to spar for a good one or two hours but it was a request from Miwa too. Shoyo would be doing it out of obligation– or maybe compensation for the errors he had done back in the Recesses months ago. However, Tobio was grateful that Shoyo was even willing to entertain his obsession with the sword. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like if this opportunity had not come to him. Oh, how miserable he would be if Miwa did not arrange this for him. Tobio’s world would have collapsed into the abyss if he had not met Shoyo one last time. 

Tobio could not live without Shoyo. And it dawned upon Tobio like a storm.

On days Tobio was not scheduled to meet Shoyo, the mundanity of his life weighed on his shoulders, leaving an ugly feeling in his chest. On days Tobio was not scheduled to meet Shoyo, his days felt dull and gloomy. On days Tobio was not scheduled to meet Shoyo, he felt like his world was about to fall apart and into the hands of his father. On days Tobio was not scheduled to meet Shoyo, Tobio’s resolve wavered.

Meeting Shoyo sparked light into his muddled mind. It was his contagious smile, the eagerness in his eyes and his cheerful laughs. Like a spell, the darkness that clouded his mind and heart dissipated away, just with the mere presence of Shoyo. Tobio’s heart had raced around Shoyo but he was too deeply tangled into the magic of the rhythmic motions of their colliding swords to notice. Tobio thought what it would be like if Shoyo was gone, no longer within his grasp. No, he needed to see him. 

Not just every fortnight for two hours. That’s not enough.

Tobio wants to see him everyday. 

Heat rushed up his cheeks and Tobio felt his heart pound against his ribs, the tips of his fingers turning cold as his stomach fluttered. He let out a sharp gasp, clenching onto his chest. That foreign feeling– the sudden rush of adrenaline flowed through him and he felt the need to run, and do things he shouldn’t. Things that he would have never done. Things that would have tragic consequences.

“No.” Tobio whispered as his heart squeezed tight with desire and longing.

He’s in love. 

He’s in love with Hinata Shoyo.

✧✧✧✧

The servants panicked. It’s five in the morning and the sun has yet to rise. However, standing in front of the gates of the Ishikawa residence was the upcoming Clan Leader. Servants scattered, making sure the place was suitable to house Kageyama Tobio. Hikaru had greeted him with a frown, still in her sleeping gown with a coat over her shoulders.

“I do not appreciate you coming to my home unannounced like this.” She said, annoyed, at the same time, leading Tobio to the residence’s garden with Sayu following behind him.

“I needed to talk to you.” Tobio informed, walking by the omega’s side. “And it’s important. It cannot wait.”

Hikaru groaned under her breath, sitting on the bench by the small garden fountain. “What is so important for you to come knocking on my door in this lovely morning? Need I remind you that if anyone saw you here, rumors will start before your father planned to.”

“That’s why I meet you at this hour.”

“That was not my point. Now cut to the chase. It better be worth waking me up in the middle of my sleep.”

“I love someone.”

Hikaru hummed. “I’m awake now. What are you going to do about it? Break off the plans to get engaged with me?”

Tobio bit his lip. “That’ll get me and you in trouble.” He admitted, playing with his fingers. 

“I’m glad you know. So why are you here? I doubt you’re here only to tell me that you love someone else.”

“I want to marry that person and we both won’t marry each other.”

“And how exactly do you plan on doing that? We’ll get engaged in a month, in front of your family and mine.” 

“Father’s plan is flawed. I’ll null the engagement by other means. I’ll pull some strings, Miwa will help me… but I’m going to need your help.”

“What do you mean by help?” Hikaru asked, raising an eyebrow. “I’m not going to partake in something dangerous. If anything, your plan will not help me in any way.”

Tobio sucked in a deep breath. “What if I guarantee you a safe life with Sayu-san for the rest of your life? Will you help me?”

A long pause settled between them. Tobio knew that deep down, Hikaru wanted more– not just being able to see each other safe and alive. He knew she wanted to live a life with Sayu, as her mate and partner. Tobio patiently waited for her answer. Adding Miwa into the equation made it slightly convincing when she learnt that Miwa worked silently behind Kokushi’s back to sneak Tobio out every two weeks. Even Tobio has yet to know what Miwa had done to pull it off. 

“I’m listening.”

✧✧✧✧

Two weeks came by too slow. Everyday Tobio was itching to meet Shoyo, his legs fidgeting under the table, his fingers tapping against his study table. He had not been focusing in class, staring away as he continued to think, putting together his thoughts and forming a plan . He’s determined to remove himself from this engagement, a pre-binding contract that would chain Tobio and Hikaru for life. He needed the plan to be flawless and surpass Kokushi’s eyes and his underlings without risking both him and Hikaru. For those two weeks, he laid out his plan, tackling future setbacks with contingency plans, his sister seated beside him. Miwa was extremely helpful, giving him the intel he needed and perfecting his plan.

But the problem was that the plan could not materialise until Tobio had confirmed one thing: Would Hinata Shoyo want to marry him?

Tobio had only one chance left to ask and that was his last sparring session with the omega, two days before Tobio gets officially engaged to Hikaru. He could not miss this chance because if he did, he’d be stuck in an unwilling marriage, left to yearn for a person he could not reach. He’d not want to end up like his Father, committing adultery as a sign of resistance to his marriage. He would like to start his married life with the right foot without his hands tied.

Tobio went to the townside earlier than usual, running down the long stretch of stairs downwards to the foot of the mountain, slipping past Kotone’s supervision. He had brought a katana from the weapon room, not as sharp as the one Kokushi took away from him, but it was enough to defend himself from any potential ambush. With Kotone not around, he’s aware of the danger posed upon him. Without a waste of time, he ran and ran, his feet landing on each step accurately so he’d not tumble away at the speed he was going. And he continued to run, coming to an abrupt halt when he was met with the ironically soothing bright colors of orange in the middle of the streets.

“Tobio?”

With Koushi not around, Tobio grabbed Shoyo’s wrist and ran the opposite direction, taking a longer route to the tavern’s garden. The omega protested but followed regardless, his feet catching up to Tobio’s speed. Tobio slammed the gates to the garden close, panting.

“Tobio, what was that about?” Shoyo asked, breathing heavily, hands on his hips as he watched Tobio turn to face him, towering over him. “Why are you here? You shouldn’t be here until another hour.”

“Shoyo. Will you marry me?”

Silence dawned upon them as Tobio looked into Shoyo’s amber eyes, trying to find an answer. It was an unideal way to propose, especially with both of them sweating, trying to catch their breaths. His heart thundered in his chest as his mouth started to dry, his eyes shaking in desperation, hoping and expecting to receive the answer he seeked. For every second that passed, his heart pounded faster with growing desperation.

“Just so you know, Tobio-kun. No sane human being would be so eager to travel for two days back and forth just to swing katanas with someone.” 

There was no way he misunderstood the situation. Shoyo must have liked him too to do this every two weeks. Or was it just a mere obligation? Tobio needed to know if he had misunderstood the situation and the more he waited, the more desperate he became.

“T-Tobio, I appreciate the thought but you’re getting engaged soon.” Shoyo tried to say, his cheeks red with embarrassment, his eyes looking away from Tobio’s dark blue ones. “This is unethical, Tobio.”

“But do you like me?” Tobio pressed, his breaths picking up. 

He’d need to at least get an answer.

“Of course, I like you. You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met! It’s a miracle I get to meet you and train with you. You’re—”

“Hinata Shoyo. Do you like me enough to marry me?”

And Tobio smelt it– Shoyo’s pheromones were filled with desire and want. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he took a step closer, looking down at the omega, his nose hit by the sweet pleasant scent. He drowned himself in it. It was so sweet— addicting, even. He backed away, horrified when Shoyo’s eyes dampened with tears.

“Tobio. I would if I could. I’ve liked you since the day I met you.” Shoyo whispered, a hand on his chest. “Why would I go so far to see you if I didn’t like you?

“Then marry me, Shoyo.” Tobio begged, grabbing those soft hands into his, desperation laced in his voice. “I cannot…. I cannot marry anyone else. I can’t imagine a life without you, I need to be with you. My life will fall apart if you’re not with me. Shoyo, please , be my mate.”

“You’ll be engaged, Tobio. I cannot-”

“I don't care. I’ll do anything to marry you. I’ll do everything. You don’t have to do anything.”

“Tobio-”

“Shoyo, I love you.”

Tears clouded his eyes. His hands clutching Shoyo’s trembled. His breaths quickened and his heart ached. He’s beyond desperate. He needed Shoyo. He’ll grasp onto everything he could if it’ll bring him closer to him. His body started to shake and his pheromones seeped into the air, reeking himself of frenzied emotions. His heart had decided that no , he could not live without him. He’d die for him.

“So, please, marry me. I’ll do everything I need. I just need your word.” Tobio pleaded, his voice shaking as he brought their hands close to his chest, closing his eyes shut, tears dripping between his long eyelashes. “I need you in my life.”

Tobio felt Shoyo pull away from his clutches and his heart dropped. He couldn’t open his eyes. He’s scared to open them, to look at the face of the person he loved, to look at the face of the person who rejected his proposal. Rejection hurts . Was this his answer? Tobio would have to live a life with someone he never loved while the love of his life was out there. Kokushi had been so cruel. 

Fate was so cruel. 

Tobio’s breath hitched when a pair of soft palms caressed his cheeks as he was engulfed by calming pheromones. Slowly he peeled his eyes open, his body frozen in shock when his eyes met Shoyo’s ones. There was this fondness in those amber irises that made Tobio’s heart feel at ease and he relaxed in Shoyo’s hold, leaning into the hands on his cheeks. His touch was so tender that Tobio placed his own hands over them, looking into Shoyo’s eyes.

“Calm down, Tobio.” Shoyo whispered, rubbing a thumb over the scar on Tobio’s cheekbone. “Relax.”

“I-”

“I love you too. And yes, I’ll marry you, Tobio.”

Tobio’s lips trembled. He sucked in a deep breath only to choke on a sob, fat tears rolling down his cheeks, burying himself deeper into the omega’s palms. Oh, this was so unlike him. He’d never be caught crying in front of anyone else except his family. Yet here he was, sobbing uncontrollably before Shoyo, the man who saved him from his bleak future… and his future mate. Shoyo pulled him into a tight hug and Tobio accepted it, clenching onto the cloth of Shoyo’s hakama. He felt safe in his arms, away from the responsibilities that would haunt him all his life, and he wished that he’d never need to let go. They stayed in each other’s arms as Tobio’s sobs turned into quiet sniffles, his head stuck in the crook of Shoyo’s neck while Shoyo stroked his silky hair.

“Feeling better now?” Shoyo asked.

The younger man nodded, pulling away gently with his face red from the crying. Shoyo chortled at the sight, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re really adorable, you know?” He said, pinching Tobio’s cheek.

“Stop..” Tobio murmured, rubbing his sore cheek. He wiped his face with his sleeve, letting out a shaky breath as he composed himself. “About my expected engagement, do not worry about it. I’ll handle it all. I’ll do everything from my side. By the time of my ascension, you’ll be engaged with me. All I need you to do is trust me and do what I tell you to.”

Shoyo smiled endearingly. “You were serious about this, huh.”

“I wasn’t kidding..”

“Yeah, yeah I know.”

The garden gate slammed open, revealing a very worried man no other than Sugawara Koushi. “The both of you are going to give me an aneurysm.” 

✧✧✧✧

“Welcome, Kita Shinsuke, Clan Leader of Inarizaki.”

The Main Hall was flooded with guests of different clans. Today was Tobio’s ascension ceremony and powerful men and women filled the room as their names and representation echoed among the marble walls. They all proudly wore the colors of their clans, their clan’s crests somewhere obvious on their attire. The Main Hall bustled with commotion as the guests mingled, chatting loudly. Servants crossed the rooms with haori specially made for Kitagawa Daiichi’s climate to each respective clan. It was a generous gift. The clans accepted them, preferring the present than the ones they had initially worn.

“Welcome, Shimizu Kiyoko, Clan Leader of Karasuno.”

Kageyama Kokushi was among the crowd, greeting the Clan Leaders, young and old. He wore a proud face, the same face he had on his face when he showed Tobio off during his 20th birthday two years ago. Today was of great importance to Kokushi. Today was the day he’d show off his wonderful abiding son to everyone. He did everything he could to mold Tobio into the son he wanted and the Clan Leader Kitagawa Daiichi needed, and today he will be able to flaunt his final product, his contribution to Kitagawa Daiichi.

“Welcome, Oikawa Katsuro, Clan Leader of Aoba Johsai.”

The process leading up to Tobio and Hikaru’s engagement had been smooth and so was Tobio’s ascension. Kokushi felt triumph every time Tobio agreed to his suggestions and listened to his orders. It was like Tobio was what he was years ago: An obedient child who would listen to his father’s demands. No question, no remarks. Nothing. Just a nod of the head and Tobio would be off to do what Kokushi had told him to do. It filled him with glee to see his son doing everything he asked, unlike Tooru. He’d like to think the past year was just a phase– a rebellious phase. Well, Kokushi was glad that the phase had passed.

“Welcome, Tsukasa Iizuna, Clan Leader of Itachiyama.”

The man himself, Kageyama Tobio, was also with the crowd. For minutes, he’d been greeted by many men and women, their smiles too wide and their voices too high pitched for his liking. It was always the older guests that acted like that, especially those from smaller clans. The younger ones, newly appointed Clan Leaders, were more composed, their ages barely a few years apart. Tobio also looked stunning , making omegas in the Main Hall flustered when his eyes fell on them. He’d always been an attractive alpha but today he was astonishingly regal. 

“Welcome, Bokuto Koutaro, Clan Leader of Fukurodani.”

Tobio’s engagement ring sparked so many questions among the guests, wondering who was the lucky person who’s engaged to such a fine alpha. They whispered among one another, scanning the rooms for Tobio’s future mate. The woman in question did not stand out to be found. Hikaru sat and chatted among the people of her clan in a beautiful kimono of blue and white flowers. She was gorgeous in the furisode kimono, her sleeves hanging to her waist when she raised her hands to cover her mouth as she laughed. Yet it was not enough to attract any attention. She did not have a ring on her as part of Kokushi’s plan to keep the engagement a secret. She was dressed as formally as the other Kitagawa Daiichi guests, blending in perfectly. The Ishikawa family were fidgety, struggling to prevent themselves from telling the whole world that it was their daughter who Tobio would be marrying. 

“Welcome, Yasufumi Nekomata, Clan Leader of Nekoma.”

The ascension ceremony would be held in a sequence followed by the Kitagawa Daiichi ancestors and Kokushi had instructed them to follow it from the beginning to end. The day would begin with the welcoming of guests, letting them network and get to know one another and once everyone has settled down, it’ll start the ceremony with two important performances. First would be a miko kagura, a dance by the Kitagawa shrine maidens, followed by a sparring performance by the Head of Guard and his two generals. After the performances would be a commemorative toast for the current Clan Leader and to wrap the ceremony, it’ll be the officialisation of the new Clan Leader, Kageyama Tobio. It was after the finalisation of Tobio’s status as Clan Leader when Tobio’s engagement would be officially announced, subsequently the distribution of wedding invitations to the guests. The moment Kokushi was looking forward to.

“Welcome, Washijo Tanji, Clan Leader of Shiratorizawa.”

With the final Clan Leader of the Five Great Clans present, the ascension ceremony commenced. Kokushi sat at the front of the Main Hall on a chair made specially for the Clan Leader, hands on his laps as he observed the shrine maidens flow into the room in  meticulous movements. Tobio and Miwa sat to his right whereas Ayano sat to his left. Music filled the room and the shrine maidens started their performance, their limbs graciously moving to the beats, their gohei (wooden wands) swaying in the air, following the gesture of its owners. The audience was mesmerised while Tobio clutched onto the omamori Tooru gave him two years ago. He’s nervous, his palms turning clammy with sweat.

Tobio had every right to be nervous. His life will turn 360, no more a naive young adult but a mature Clan Leader that will run Kitagawa Daiichi. Lives will be dependent on him and choices would be determined by his decisions. He can no longer run away but face this reality for now it was his destiny to be Clan Leader. Anxious, he did not pay attention to the sparring performance when he usually would. His sword that Kokushi had returned to him hung heavily on his waist. This ceremony determined everything his life would be in the future. A gentle hand squeezed his arm and Tobio mustered all his strength to not cower away from his sister’s touch.

Alas, the commemorative toast had arrived, a representative of Kitagawa Daiichi spewing praises over praises for the things Kokushi had done for Kitagawa Daiichi. Guests nodded their head approvingly, showing their loyalty to the retiring Clan Leader. Kokushi’s head was up high, proud to have accomplished so much during his term. It was remarkable and Tobio would be a liar to deny it. His father was able to lift multiple struggling clans back to stability, Aoba Johsai included, and heightened the reputation of Kitagawa Daiichi rapidly, increasing the number of investors in the region. He had improved Kitagawa Daiichi’s standing exceptionally well. 

But if there was something a control freak like Kageyama Kokushi failed at, it was to be a loving father.

Kokushi took the stage, acknowledging the support other clans had given him and showering praises to his allies, announcing that none of this would be accomplished without them. It was a politically desired answer but it had always been like that– to be politically correct to be desired by everyone. He was good with his words, mesmerising the men and women in the Main Hall with his charm. Kokushi prided himself with his abilities and showed no attempt of hiding them when he talked about how he achieved the unachievable. The elders, who undoubtedly bow down to his every whim, nodded their heads eagerly, too excessive than necessary, demonstrating their support to their beloved Clan Leader. Finally, Kokushi raised his glass, which was then mirrored by everyone else.

“Here’s to Clan Leader Kageyama Kokushi, for the accomplishments he had done for Kitagawa Daiichi. May the Lords bestow their blessings to you.” Announced the representative as he thrusted his glass into the air.

The Main Hall echoed with cheers, glasses up in the air. That marked the end of the commemorative toast and the beginning of Tobio’s ascension.

Tobio clutched the omamori tighter in his hands, letting out a shaky breath that he hoped could calm his nerves. The time had come. Kokushi started with introducing Tobio, showering compliments to his son, emphasising on what a great alpha he had grown to be. He raised to the floor how Tobio overtook his seniors in his skill with the sword, as if he had not confiscated his beloved blade for more than a year. And there was no stopping Kokushi when he showed his son off with half-true facts about Tobio to the respected guests. He had omitted anything that would tarnish Tobio’s reputation, constantly accentuating Tobio’s behaviourisms as an alpha, saying it’s a perfect fit for Kitagawa Daiichi’s Clan Leader. Eyes were now all on Tobio who maintained a composed stature, despite being terror-stricken inside.

With a simple gesture from his father, Tobio knew it was his turn to speak so he stood, his haori flowing nicely over his shoulders. He had memorised his address for weeks, making sure he wouldn’t humiliate himself in front of the hundred guests in the Main Hall. He looked around the Main Hall and his breath hitched at the terrifying sight of multiple pairs of eyes staring at him, waiting for him to start his speech. Knowing he shouldn’t stall it, Tobio placed a quick kiss on the omamori, stood by his father’s side and delivered.

It wasn’t an extravagant one, simply him thanking the clan for preparing him to be Clan Leader, thanking his father for raising him to be who he was now. These lies slipped through his tongue as easy as breathing. His script was checked thoroughly by his father so it included promises and vows to protect Kitagawa Daiichi from harm and will not neglect his clan’s desires. After Tobio officially becomes Clan Leader, Tobio would disclose to the crowd of his betrothed and Hikaru would take the stage with him, right before he announced the invitation to his wedding, making it as how Kokushi called it, Kitagawa Daiichi style.

All should go according to plan should there be nothing stopping it.

“Now, we shall call upon Clan Leader Kageyama Kokushi to relinquish his authority to the uprising Clan Leader Kageyama Tobio.” 

Tobio stood across from his father, staring at the facial features far too similar to his, just older with his father being 52. A table slid between them by the Head of Guard and Kokushi’s right hand man, and laid upon it was a scroll with two stamps. The base of the stamp was a blue clematis with their names, one with Kokushi’s and one with Tobio’s. Tobio glanced at the stamp momentarily before picking it up, the object heavy in his palms. The mark of this stamp will appear on documents he approves, bills he legitimises and official letters he writes. This was his and the moment he stamps the scroll indicating the transfer of power to him, Kokushi’s stamp will be invalidated from then on.

And Kageyama Tobio would be Clan Leader of Kitagawa Daiichi.

An ink pad was raised before Tobio and Kokushi, and Tobio pressed his stamp against it. He let his hand hover in the air when his father leaned forward to stamp down on the scroll. The ink stained the scroll and Kokushi lifted it, proudly beaming at his son, telling him wordlessly to do his part. It was just one push of the stamp onto the paper that would dictate Tobio’s life from then onwards and with sweaty palms, the young alpha pressed the stamp down, his heart racing in his chest. 

And that was it. Kageyama Tobio was now officially Clan Leader. A heavy weight fell onto the young man’s shoulders.

“Let us all stand for the new Clan Leader of Kitagawa Daiichi, Kageyama Tobio!”

The Main Hall resonated with loud cheers and claps as guests stood up and Kokushi gleamed at the applause that was for his perfect son, the most perfect alpha the world had ever seen, who took his position as Clan Leader. Tobio turned around, meeting the eyes of the guests in the Main Hall and watched them all bow to him. The situation had changed. These guests were no longer just visitors. The clan representatives across from him were his confederates, or if they weren’t, they would be soon. These rooms of powerful men and women would now work with him, either begging on their knees for his help or using their power to suppress him. They’re both his allies and enemies. 

What a terrifying sight for poor young Kageyama Tobio.

Nonetheless, there was no room for Tobio to falter. Kokushi had left the front of the Main Hall, leaving the Clan Leader’s chair empty and standing to the side, where Tobio had sat before. The new Clan Leader stood in front of the chair and turned to face the crowd. Taking a seat was never in the script. After all, he had an announcement to make before the banquet could begin.

“Thank you to all, noble friends and cherished companions, for showing up to this event that’ll mark a significant change for Kitagawa Daiichi. I, Kageyama Tobio, stand before you as the new Clan Leader of Kitagawa Daiichi and swear to protect our clan, to serve with honor, and to lead with fairness and humility to a bright future together.”

Another round of applause. It was getting too predictable. A soft scent caught Tobio’s nose and the young alpha’s nerves calmed down as his lips curved into a grin, putting in all the confidence he could muster. This was it.

“As is tradition by the ancestors of Kitagawa Daiichi, I am betrothed to the love of my life.” The room buzzed with whispers and mumbles. “They had been supportive of my journey, accompanying me during dark times as this responsibility upon me was too heavy for me. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be standing here if it wasn’t for them.” Tobio’s heart fluttered. “I am here to announce my fated one, who will be by my side for the rest of my life.”

Hikaru walked to the front of the main hall from where she had sat with her family, her kosode veil-cape of blue and white patterns over her head, covering most of her face. She gracefully took her position beside Tobio, hands delicately holding onto the veil, keeping her face covered. There were more whispers here and there, mostly from the members of their clan, speculating who would be behind that veil. Kokushi had also planned this well, by making sure a few omegas were absent from the audience at this time so Hikaru was not the only one missing. There was enough build up suspense so Tobio leaned towards her and gently pried her fingers off her veil to reveal her.

Except it wasn’t Ishikawa Hikaru.

A dazzling sight of orange filled the room as Hinata Shoyo faced the world with the biggest smile on his face when he announced brightly and enthusiastically, “I am Hinata Shoyo from Karasuno, Clan Leader Kageyama Tobio’s future mate.”

Everyone in the room had caught up on the discrepancy, thinking ‘this was definitely not Kokushi’s ideal son-in-law’ . Those who worked with him knew him. Kokushi was traditional and conservative; the sight of an omega with undoubtedly toned muscles underneath that kimono was foreign to their eyes. The first to clap was Shimizu Kiyoko, the sound of her hands clapping against one another, echoed in the silent Main Hall. The next to follow was Oikawa Katsuro and Yasufumi Nekomata, with an entertained smile on the old man’s face. The crowd followed.

There was a cocky smile on Tobio’s lips as he turned to look at his father. 

Kokushi was seething . He glared at the Head of the Ishikawa Family, who looked back at him with a perplexed look on his face. He then turned to the man’s wife, only to be returned with an equally confused expression. Tobio had trapped him perfectly well. There was no way in hell Kokushi could reject this engagement, not in front of everyone, not right after Tobio announced it. What would people say if the engagement Kokushi had claimed to coordinate failed afterwards? There was his pride and reputation put on the line. He watched as Kotone, the guard he appointed for Tobio, passed a letter to the Ishikawas.

Hikaru had left Kitagawa Daiichi, now at the bottom of the mountain with Sayu by her side as they stood before a woman and two horses. The Nekoma motifs sat at the bottom of the woman’s red haori which flowed at each step the horse took. Sayu held the reins and Hikaru wrapped her arms around her guard, as the horses galloped away from the mountains to a place far away where she and her guard would live together peacefully. She’ll visit one day, she promised at the bottom of her letter.

“The wedding will be held in spring this year at the Clematis Pavillion.” Tobio announced, as servants distributed the invitations towards each clan’s representative. “We deeply hope you will join us in commemorating this auspicious occasion.”

Kokushi snatched an invitation sharply from a passing servant. He had checked these invitations personally, hence, his anger peaked when he saw Hinata Shoyo’s name on the invite instead of Ishikawa Hikaru’s. He held a deathly grip on the invite, crumpling the ends of the paper as his mind raced, wondering what went wrong. How did this surpass his own eyes? Beside him, Miwa, the orchestrator, bit down an amused smile. Before his outraged pheromones could permeate the air, Tobio was quick to yell with a thrust of his glass into the air,

“Let the banquet begin!”

✧✧✧✧

“Where is she?”

Tobio should be intimidated by the intense anger in his father’s pheromones. He should be hanging his head low, staring at his feet. He should stiffen in fear. But he didn’t. Instead, he stared into Kokushi’s eyes defiantly. He let out his own pheromones, asserting his dominance towards the man, an arm blocking Shoyo from his father. The three stood in the middle of an empty room, far from the banquet.

“She’s somewhere safe where you can’t find her.” Tobio stated. 

“How dare you. After all I did for you, this is how you repay me? All this was because of me, you would not have reached where you are if it wasn’t for me.” Kokushi growled, fists clenched. “Bring back Hikaru right now and rid this imbecile off the face of earth!”

A low gnarl escaped Shoyo’s lips as his fingers brushed against Tobio’s katana. He will not be spoken to like that.

“No. I will not. I have decided to wed Shoyo and it will be done. And you will not disrespect Shoyo like that.”

“You dare defy your father’s orders?!”

“You dare question your Clan Leader’s decisions?”

Appalled at his son’s betrayal, all he could do was gawk at Tobio’s true behaviour. The image of his son had disappeared right before his eyes from an obedient alpha son to an apostate. But what can Kokushi do? Kokushi no longer had the upper hand.  Tobio stepped away from his father and turned his back to him, holding Shoyo’s hand in his.

“Until you have calmed down, Father, you should stay here. You do not want to destroy that image of yours in front of your guests.” He said, glancing behind him. “Apologies, Father, I do not wish to walk the path you have set out for me.”

Tobio let out a breath he did not realise he was holding when he exited the room. A melodious laughter from his left manifested a smile on his usually stoic face.

“Acting all cool like that? Looked like a true King.” Shoyo teased, slapping the alpha’s forearm. “Oh, have you grown? Just a year ago you’re crying and babbling in my arms that you wanted to marry me.” He recalled, laughing as he wiped a tear from his eye. “Doing this to woo me further, Tobio?”

Tobio’s cheeks glowed a furious red and he looked away embarrassingly. “N-No. He just needed a reality check.” He mumbled.

The two walked towards the direction of the banquet hand in hand, the chatter of guests and music gradually getting louder at every step.

“So, what’s next?”

“You wanted to be Head of Guard. I can make you one.”

Shoyo snickered. “That’s corruption, Tobio. I’ll climb up the ranks by myself, thank you very much.” He said, before tapping his finger against his lips as he pondered. “First omega Head of Guard in Kitagawa Daiichi. Definitely something. Will also outrage the elders.”

“That’s a given.” Tobio murmured, eyes twitching when he made a mental note that he had multiple rules to rewrite. “Don’t worry. I won’t let them do anything to you.”

The Main Hall was loud and both cringed at the noise level when the guards swung the door open. Right when Tobio was about to return to the banquet where he’s wanted, Kotone approached him, informing that someone would like to meet him personally, specifically in the Main Courtyard. He walked in long strides, his guard trailing him and this time, Shoyo by his side, not bothering to consider if this guest would not want an additional audience. Tobio took a right turn to the Main Courtyard and froze in his steps. It was a strange combination of color, not because it didn’t match, but more of the reason that Tobio hadn’t seen much of it in the Recesses. He had seen three of them, all in the Main Hall today, so to see a color of white and turquoise, trimmed with gold, on the two men he had not seen for a long time, got him frozen. He stared at them, confused. They were not invited. Hell, he didn’t even know where they were for the past two years.

“Kunimi. Kindaichi.” He breathed out as he slowly got closer.

He missed them. He missed them so dearly for there was nothing that could replace them. Akira and Yutaro bowed when Tobio addressed them. Dressed in Aoba Johsai colors, especially having gold in their attire, was enough to tell Tobio that they had been doing well after their dismissal. He had so much to ask and so much to tell, questions like ‘How have you been?’ , ‘What did Father do to you?’ and ‘Who helped you?’ lying at the tip of his tongue. He didn’t know where to start.

“Congratulations, Tobio-sama.” Akira was first to speak up, “You’re Clan Leader now.”

“Yeah, thanks.” was all Tobio could say.

At the corner of his eye, Tooru slid into his sight, alongside Shigeru. They, too, were not invited. 

“It’s been a while, Tobio-chan. Congratulations on being Clan Leader!” He exclaimed, clapping his hands. “To think this would have been me four years ago. Bleh.” He shuddered at the thought. “Anyways, how has it been?”

“Tooru-san? How did you get here? You.. You weren’t invited. Father didn’t let us invite you.” Tobio asked, leaving Tooru’s question unanswered.

The older alpha crossed his arms, rolling his eyes. “Yeah I was aware we weren’t but we got an informal invite from Miwa. It’s not like we can head into the banquet anyways.” He explained, scratching the back of his head.

It wasn’t surprising that it was Miwa. The said woman was in the Main Hall, entertaining the guests, at the same time, monitoring her father. The old man was conversing with the others in the room, bitterly smiling as the conversations went on. Miwa’s speciality only grew because of Kokushi’s flawed expectations. Being a beta, he did not pay much attention to her, assuming she’d behave in her best behaviour. She did but only in front of him. She had connections, powerful ones, but because she was out of Kokushi’s radar, her abilities went undetected. How she managed to create those connections remained a mystery.

It was Miwa who helped Tooru leave Kitagawa Daiichi, organising the right transport and equipping them with uniforms of Aoba Johsai. It was Miwa who recommended Kokushi to appoint Kotone, her close friend, as Tobio’s personal guard. It was Miwa who provided Akira and Yutaro shelter when they were dismissed, later giving them a letter of reference and recommendation for them to settle in Seijoh. It was Miwa who organised Tobio’s and Shoyo’s fortnightly spar. It was Miwa who provided Hikaru and Sayu the protection Tobio had promised by working closely with Nekoma. 

Miwa was the backbone of many things.

But she was a beta and Kokushi did not bother to watch her actions. A large mistake by an old man who claimed he’s the best at everything. 

“I see.”

“Is this your fiance?” Tooru asked, peeking over to look at the orange-haired omega behind Tobio’s tall height. “Hello! I heard you had caused a ruckus in the Recesses.”

“Hi! I am Hinata Shoyo, Oikawa-dono! Nice to meet you.” Shoyo bowed, his body bending just as much as the kimono would allow him.

The older alpha raised an eyebrow and grinned. “You look awfully interesting, Hinata-kun. How did you find Tobio’s deranged infatuation with the katana?”

“He’s great! I like sparring with him and I’ll do it all day if I have to.”

“Oh okay. Whoever said opposites attract were liars.” Tooru made a face, realising that both were complete lunatics when it comes to kenjutsu. “Anyways, we can’t stay long here. I’ll get straight to the point.”

Tobio nodded. “Yes, Tooru-san?”

“Your two old guards are here. Do you need them back?” Asked his brother, gesturing to Akira and Yutaro, their expressions flat. “I figured that you have yet to pick a right-hand man, and why not get someone who you trust? But of course, this is your choice.”

“Oh.” 

He turned to face his previous personal guards. They were tanner now, probably due to the sun in Aoba Johsai. Everything else looked the same. Tobio had always wanted them back. Bickering with one another, Akira ruthlessly pulling him out of his bed when he refused to leave for class and Yutaro casually shoving his shoulder simply to just agitate him… he wanted them all back. Yet, seeing them in front of them, he thought, would they want to go back to a home that kicked them out? 

“Are you happier there?” Tobio asked.

Akira and Yutaro exchanged glances. “I don’t know.” Yutaro shrugged. 

“Will you be happier here?”

“I… don’t know.”

Akira sighed. “I’ll be transparent, Tobio. I’m still bitter he kicked us out and used our relationship as a threat. I wouldn’t want to see that old man again. Sorry.”

So they had been dating and Kokushi or his henchman caught them, Tobio noted. “None taken.”

“Kunimi’s right. After he told us he’d expose me and Kunimi if we stayed, we had to leave. I’m sorry it was selfish but we had to.” Yutaro agreed, clutching his fists. “But we do miss working with you, Tobio-sama.”

Tobio bit his lip. Kitagawa Recesses had somehow managed to create bitter memories for many people, not excluding him. He sighed. “Then you should go back to Seijoh. I don’t want to keep you in a place where you won’t be happy.”

It hurt saying that. This time it was him letting go of the people he cared for, just so they could be better off. A hand slid between his and in an instant, the sadness disappeared. Ah yes, he had Shoyo. And over time, there will be more people that will come into his life that will become increasingly important. His heart was full with relief now, knowing that him rejecting the offer would grant Akira and Yutaro a better life. 

“I… I see.” Yutaro blinked, not expecting Tobio’s response. “Thank you.”

“Well, I guess Hajime will be thrilled to know that his beloved nannies are coming back to help him out.” Tooru butted in, sing-songedly. 

“Nannies?” Tobio repeated, noticing a slight pink hue on Akira’s cheeks.

“You have two nephews, Tobio-chan!” His brother announced dreamily, clasping his hands together. “You’d think Hajime and I can handle them but babies are a nuisance. For the first time in my life, I’d need to thank Father for kicking them out because hell, if it wasn’t for these two, Hajime would have jumped .” Tobio hoped that was a joke. “They’re incredible at taking care of children and let me say this, I’d trust them if I were you once you have kids.”

Tobio’s cheeks flushed a deep shade of crimson while Shoyo laughed. “We’ll consider it.” The omega said, nudging the other playfully.

“That being said, since you’ll be getting married in spring, why don’t you spend your honeymoon in Seijoh? I’m sure you’d want to spend more time with your nephews.” Tooru hummed. “They’ll be turning two by then.”

“Of course! We’d like to!”

Shoyo had started to develop a habit of answering Tobio’s questions but he didn’t mind. In fact, he was longing to be back in Aoba Johsai, walking on the wooden planks of Seijoh. It's just like when he first visited Aoba Johsai, an excited child looking for new things to be amazed about. It’ll be a nice getaway after being bombarded with Clan Leader work for the next upcoming months. 

Except he won’t be doing this alone.

He’ll be enjoying Aoba Johsai with his mate, Hinata Shoyo.

“Yes, we’ll come over.” Tobio confirmed, a smile of content on his face.

Chapter Text

Kageyama Tooru had Seijoh kiss his feet by just breathing, swooning his family and servants with his beautiful eyes and toothless smile, followed by the most adorable giggle a person could hear. He was adored by the disciples, the disciples eager to see him when Tatsui dropped by to watch over classes. When Tooru left Seijoh for the townside, the common folk would coo at the sight of him, old folks and children alike scrambling to bless him with gifts and Tooru would giggle, hiding his face in his mother’s shoulder, while his hands gingerly accepted their offerings. Tooru grew prettier as time went by, his face resembling a copy of Tatsui’s soft and lovely features and everyone would fight to get a chance to see him, especially the disciples, fighting their urge to squeeze the young boy’s cheeks.

He also was a very cheeky child. Disaster fell upon Seijoh when Tooru started walking and every time Tooru ran down the docks of the pier, he managed to take a year off everyone’s lifespan. The servants were victims of his shenanigans, often chasing him across Seijoh, desperately hoping that the child didn’t fall into the river. And Tooru loved running, forcing whoever took care of him into a workout while his mother worked,leaving the mischievous child in the hands of the servants. That being said, when he wasn’t able to do what he wanted like he did back in Seijoh, Tooru threw tantrums in the Kitagawa Recesses, the thick layers of clothes he wore restraining most of his movements. He did not like staying in the mountains, often crying and seeking Tatsui for comfort. 

 As per the marriage agreement, this rotational visiting had been set in stone for the Kageyama-Oikawa family and Tooru didn’t like it. You can’t do this. You can’t scream. You can’t run. Tooru just couldn’t do anything. When someone told him off, he’d cross his arms and hide behind his mother’s back, fighting back tears because how dare they tell him that he can’t do what he liked. For a restless child like him, having to stay in Kitagawa Daiichi for three months a year was torturous for poor Tooru. He had decided on the first week they stayed up in the mountains that he did not like being in the Recesses, much preferring Seijoh.

Staying at the Kitagawa Recesses also meant seeing his father more. Kokushi hadn’t contributed much into building this family, even after a few years. He’d drop by Seijoh every few weeks but most of his time would be in the mountains, up in those high terrains doing whatever responsibility he needed to fulfill as a Clan Leader. Tooru didn’t grow a bond with his father, seeing him more as a stranger. It was hard to open up to Kokushi, a man who appeared and disappeared in his life, a man who he’d been seeing far too often during his three month stay. He’d hide behind his mother’s kimono or hold onto his sleeves as tight as his tiny hands could, not comfortable being under the gaze of Kokushi’s.

No, Tooru didn’t like being in Kitagawa Daiichi one bit. Everyday he stayed there, he was itching to get back home to Seijoh, where his heart truly belonged.

And that was also why he was fast in learning the floor plan of Seijoh, remembering every turn and pathway at the age of 3. The Residence Wings were huge, let alone the whole of Seijoh. While the family applauded Tooru for such great navigating and memorisation skills at that young age, the servants would only sigh, devastated, when Tooru ran past them, knowing exactly how to avoid them. He had them panting, wiping off the sweat off their faces and begging him to stop while he laughed in their faces, using his little legs to run to his own enjoyment.

Tooru was doing his usual antics prancing around in Seijoh in the noon after lunch when he met a young boy, around his age, sitting between pots and pans in the kitchen. He blinked in curiosity and the boy blinked back, his hands fiddling with a doll. 

Finding another boy his age in Seijoh felt really odd so he bent down, his brown eyes glimmering with interest as he scanned the quiet boy’s face. He was amazed by those jade-green eyes, the eyes that stared back at him, not moving a single muscle as Tooru got closer. He thought his father’s cold blue eyes were impressive but this boy’s eyes were astonishing. And the boy wasn’t wearing any of the colors of Aoba Johsai. Everyone in Seijoh, residing in or out, would be wearing white and teal and each level of hierarchy would be represented by the cyan-white ratio. But the boy was wearing some messy khaki-coloured clothes. His hair was just as grubby as his clothes, his dark brown hair jutting out in all directions. The boy was a complete opposite of Tooru, who had his hair neatly styled and his favourite kimono on, looking like a three-year old fairy, while he looked like he dug himself out from dirt.

“I am Tooru! What is your name?” Tooru shouted excitedly, squatting down as his knees touched his chest.

The boy’s eyes widened at the sudden question. Shrinking back, he mumbled a reply, his voice barely a whisper so Tooru repeated, this time inching closer to him, “What?”

“Iwaizumi… H-Hajime.” The boy’s voice was soft but his pronunciation was clear.

“Iwa- Iwachui?”

“Iwaizumi.”

“Eh.. That’s so hard! Can I call you Iwa-chan?”

Hajime only hummed as a response, hugging the doll to his chest. Tooru giggled and sat on the floor, not minding his kimono touching the dirty floors of the kitchen. He was ecstatic to have Hajime around, another child in Seijoh. Katsuro had turned six and even though he played with Tooru a lot, it was not truly the same, especially now that Katsuro had started his education. Hajime kept quiet, not sure of what to say, but Tooru lifted the problem off his shoulders, asking questions about Hajime such as ‘Do you like cats?’ and ‘ What is your favourite colour? ’. Tooru would often pair up those questions with his own answers but then he’ll bug Hajime for a reply as well.

Hajime was not much of a talker but he listened to Tooru’s nonsense blabbering intensely as he played with the ends of his doll’s hair. It didn’t take long until Tooru got tired of talking, getting up on his feet and exploring the kitchen, forcing Hajime to his feet to accompany him across the kitchen. He’d been here before, but only on the day where the cooks were busy, so he did not have the luxury to peek corners and get on his knees to check underneath tables. Hajime followed him around and his curiosity piqued, as he looked at the ladles and bags of ingredients Tooru held up for him to see with attentiveness.

In their little world, both Tooru and Hajime lost track of time, playing with flour on the kitchen floor, their clothes stained with white powder when Tatsui burst into the kitchen, his face full of worry that shifted into relief at the sight of his playful son. However, at the sight of Tatsui, Hajime ran back to his usual spot between the pots and pans, dropping his doll in the process, hugging himself as if he was trying to hide between them. A few servants appeared afterwards, mentally groaning at the sight of scattered flour but they couldn’t get mad when Tooru was the culprit of the mess.

“Ru-chan! What are you doing here? I’ve searched everywhere for you.” Tatsui said softly, picking up Tooru, dusting off the flour off Tooru’s kimono. 

“I was playing with Iwa-chan!” Tooru replied happily, whipping his head around to find the other boy. 

“Iwa-chan?”

Tooru’s tiny fingers pointed to the direction where Hajime was hiding. “Iwa-chan!” He giggled, swinging his legs as he wiggled in his mother’s arms giddily. 

Hajime shrunk, trying his very best to hide his body between the pots but it was to no avail as Tatsui hovered over him with Tooru in his arms. He was terrified, at the brink of bursting into tears when a cook stumbled into the kitchen, eyes searching for her son frantically. Realising that she had been caught, she bowed down to her knees and hands, “Oikawa-dono, I am so sorry for the trouble. Please, I’d take any punishment.” She chanted, her voice shaking.

And then Tatsui heard a very soft delicate voice that belonged to the scared child, “Mama?”

“Hayashi. Is that your son?” He asked when the cook nodded shortly before returning back to her apology posture. “Why is he here?”

“My husband had passed away yesterday and I have no one to watch him when I work. I apologise for not seeking permission from you but I was desperate. I will take any punishment you give me, Oikawa-dono.”

Tatsui sighed, feeling pity for the widow, as he put Tooru down before kneeling, meeting Hajime’s glossy tear-filled eyes, releasing a calm stream of pheromones. While children could not smell them, their bodies subconsciously reacted to them and Tatsui watched Hajime visibly calm down, his shoulders relaxing and his lips no longer trembling. Before Tatsui could say anything, Tooru pointed again at the other boy, jumping on his feet with excitement.

“This is Iwa-chan! We played together!” Tooru exclaimed.

“Iwa-chan, huh?” Tatsui mumbled to himself, gently wiping away the flour on Hajime’s soft cheeks. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Iwaizumi Hajime.” Hajime answered softly, eyes desperately looking away from him. “Is Mama okay?”

“Yes, she’ll be okay.”

“Okay..”

Tatsui watched as Tooru skipped around the kitchen to pick up the doll from the kitchen floor, joyfully hopping back towards them. A soft smile formed on Tatsui’s lips when he watched his son return the doll to Hajime, who gingerly accepted it back, pulling it to his chest like it was the most dearest thing in the world. 

“Tooru, do you like Iwa-chan?” He asked who the child nodded eagerly, his lips stretched into a wide smile. 

“Yes, yes. I like Iwa-chan! He’s my friend! I want to play with him, Mama.”

And that was how Iwaizumi Hajime and his mother, Yua Hayashi, began living in the servant dorms. His mother was punished with five months of no salary and a large pay cut but there was no room to complain when there was a new roof put over her son’s head.  

Tooru looked forward to seeing Hajime everyday, playing with him whenever he had the chance to, skipping on his feet as he made his way to the kitchens where Hajime would normally be. Though he was told not to, there were days where he would grab Hajime’s arms and run into the Residence Wing, showing him different parts of the Wing, eventually showing Hajime his own room. Tatsui had dismissed the servants’ concerns over having Hajime, the son of a low-status cook, in the Residence Wing, knowing that Tooru was enjoying it all, showering Hajime with toys Hajime never owned. 

From then on, Tooru and Hajime were inseparable. The two three-year-olds would spend most of their day together, either playing with toys in Tooru’s room or sitting at the pavilion, watching insects and flowers of the lake. Hajime’s fascination for insects captivated Tooru’s attention, even if he let out the most terrified scream when Hajime captured a cicada with his bare hands, lifting it up to Tooru’s face to see. Tooru was fine seeing them at a distance, not having it right in front of his face. Alas, he did grow out of his shell eventually, cautiously touching the one cricket Hajime picked up, eventually becoming just as enthusiastic about animals the same way Hajime was. 

They were also appointed a guard, watching them and ensuring that they did not end up falling into the water or getting injured while they play. Tooru and Hajime had learnt to ignore that following figure everywhere they go as they scribbled on papers with chalk. Over time, Hajime had grown more comfortable talking to Tooru and that did not exclude scolding the younger boy for doing something stupid like standing at the edge of the bridges to admire a blooming water lily. 

“He’s growing too attached to that boy.” Kokushi commented, arms crossed, watching from a distance as Tooru and Hajime chased one another across the pier. 

Tatsui smiled. “Isn’t that lovely?”

✧✧✧✧ 

At 4 years old, Tooru’s favourite things to do were to read and write, unlike many children who’d prefer not to. He’d be eager to meet his teacher who would hold his hand while he tried to do the correct strokes. He loved how different characters made different sounds and when he was tested, he’d pronounce it eagerly, smiling brightly. Tatsui enjoyed seeing his son pick up reading and writing faster than other children do, chuckling to himself when Tooru proudly showed off a rather messy attempt of writing his name, Kageyama Tooru. 

“Do you know what this is, Iwa-chan?” Tooru asked, munching on his favourite bread as he pointed at his masterpiece of art, a writing of his name. 

Hajime shook his head, his hand halfway through scribbling a dragonfly. “What is that?”

“It’s my name!”

A child like Hajime, a boy born in the lower class, cannot read or write, his mother can’t afford spending time or money to teach him. Reading and writing would be the last thing on her mind at the moment until she had enough money to send him off to a school.

Tooru pouted in disappointment. It went on like that for the next couple days, Tooru eagerly coming back with his newly learnt letters, showing off to Hajime. Strokes were strokes, nothing else, and Tooru’s enthusiasm was not reciprocated in the way he wanted. Frustrated, Tooru approached his mother while stomping on his feet, complaining that Hajime did not want to play with him anymore. 

Tatsui pulled the pouting child to his lap and brushed away Tooru’s hair. “Maybe Iwa-chan doesn’t know how to read and write yet.” He said in a comforting manner, pressing a soft kiss on his son’s forehead.

“Why? I can read and write.” Tooru asked, eyes curious and full of questions.

“Because he hasn’t started learning how to.” 

“But why? Why can’t Iwa-chan learn like me?”

Tatsui hummed and picked up the paper with Hajime’s name scribbled on it, fondly smiling at the thought of Tooru begging his teacher to teach him how to write Hajime’s name. “Do you want him to learn like you?” He asked softly

Tooru’s brown eyes shone with excitement as he nodded earnestly, “Yes! Mama, can Iwa-chan learn with me?” 

It had always been difficult to reject Tooru’s requests, especially when he’d look into Tatsui’s eyes with such admiration and hope, especially when he’d been so polite about it, especially when it involved Iwaizumi Hajime, the one boy that had brought so much happiness into his son’s life. Thus, without much contemplation, Tatsui agreed to help Hajime learn, to keep the other boy up to Tooru’s writing and reading competency.

However, his promise remained hanging for months, when Tatsui found out about Kokushi’s infidelity. Tooru’s limelight was shunned and Tatsui couldn’t afford to worry about another boy’s ability to read and write when his marriage was falling apart.

Tooru felt helpless when caught himself in the middle of an argument between Kokushi and the Oikawa family. Tatsui was standing in the middle of the dining hall with tears on his face as he shouted at his husband while Kokushi struck back with harsh words Tooru had never heard of. Tatsui’s two other siblings joined in the argument, taunting Kokushi while protectively keeping Tatsui away from the angry alpha. The screaming was so scary for Tooru’s little heart that he sprinted away, crying and letting his feet bring him to the empty kitchen.

“Iwa-chan?” He called out, tears streaming down his face. 

No Iwa-chan in sight. He called out again, clutching onto his yukata tightly, as he checked every corner of the kitchen, hoping to find Hajime. Lost and scared, Tooru fell to his knees, hugging himself to a corner, sobbing loudly. He had never felt alone, left by himself to understand the fear that overtook his body, his heart desperately needing a tight hug. It had been so confusing and frightening when Kokushi casually admitted that he’d been sleeping with another omega behind Tatsui’s back. There was so much chaos and confusion in the pier and Tooru’s childlike mind could not comprehend why so many things changed. He wanted it all to stop but he remained strong and steadfast because ‘ Kageyama Tooru is a good and strong boy!’ . 

Yet all came down crumbling as he started seeing less of his mother’s smile and comforting voice. Like a flip of a switch, Tatsui changed drastically and Tooru never stopped looking for his soft-hearted mother. But he kept hurting Tooru when Tooru asked for a hug, sending a glare and storming away, leaving the saddened boy alone in the middle of the pier. And subsequently he had walked into a heated argument, leaving him vulnerable and alone with no one around to help him through the confusion and uncertainty, wishing everything would go back to normal.

“Tooru?”

Hearing that voice, Tooru glanced up, meeting the same jade eyes he found comfort in, before throwing himself against Hajime, crying into his shoulder. “Iwa-chan, I’m scared.”

No words were exchanged as the two young boys sat in the kitchen, in an embrace that felt so warm and comforting to young terrified Tooru. He leaned into Hajime and Hajime kept his arms wrapped tightly around Tooru, hoping that it’ll settle the crying boy’s wounded heart. 

Nothing was the same when Tatsui, the person who had distanced himself from his sons for a few months, suddenly hugged Tooru’s little body, weeping and mumbling apologies as he stroked Tooru’s hair, rocking him in an embrace. Tooru was confused but he enjoyed his mother’s attention. He missed it, wondering where all his mother’s love for him had gone. He watched as Tatsui brushed his fingers against Tooru’s cheeks, as if admiring his son for the last time. He was perplexed when Tatsui carried him from his room to the Main Courtyard, where his father stood along with the guards he had brought from Kitagawa Daiichi. His confusion transformed into terror when Tatsui handed him over to Kokushi, who grumbled when Tooru struggled, reaching out for his mother. Instantaneously, he started to bawl, slamming his little palms on his father’s shoulder, chanting ‘No, no, no!’ when Tatsui backed away. 

Tooru didn’t want this.

A pair of jade green eyes hiding behind the bushes caught Tooru’s attention and he recognised those eyes. Iwa-chan . His heart dropped when Kokushi started walking towards the direction of Seijoh’s gate and Tooru screamed, grabbing fistfuls of his father’s kimono, throwing himself around so he’d let him go. He didn’t care if he fell and hurt himself. All he wanted was to be free of Kokushi. But that didn’t happen. In fact, Kokushi scolded him to stay still, smacking the young boy’s arm hard as a warning. Tooru continued to struggle in his father’s arms, wailing with the most heart wrenching cries of ‘Mama! Mama!’. Tatsui didn’t look in his direction, staring at the floor, tears raining down his beautiful face.

At four, Tooru experienced his first betrayal on the night his parents divorced.

✧✧✧✧ 

Tooru’s weekend visits to Aoba Johsai started when Tooru was three weeks after he turned five.

It was torturous for poor Tooru, crying and wailing, missing his mother, even though he was mad at Tatsui for not coming back to take him away. He had suffered in Kitagawa Daiichi, crying and crying, praying with his tiny hands that he’d get to go home, in his bed among his favourite pillows. It’s too cold here, both the temperature of the mountains and the emptiness around him. He wouldn’t listen to anyone, he refused to behave and he would cry and throw a tantrum if he had to. And Kokushi would smack him, scold him and yell at him. It was hell for Toour and in exchange, tried his very best to make it hell for Kokushi as well. His tantrums and his absolute refusal to listen drove the older man to anger and frustration, leaving him to the hands of the staff. They were less stricter and angrier than his dad but they were nothing to him, no warmth, no love, just business.

He was often met by brooding servants ordered to take care of him and he couldn’t even reach out to his father, who would return a sharp cold glare to him. Kokushi had been unhappy when Tooru angrily pushed Miwa, his half-sister, the first time he was introduced. 

He hated everyone.

Except one.

If it wasn’t for Kageyama Kazuyo, his grandfather whose own son kept him away from society, Tooru would have not survived the Recesses. Initially Tooru refused to confide in him, screaming and kicking his feet at the corner of his room. Kazuyo was patient and gentle, letting the small boy warm up to his presence. It wasn’t like he had a bond with the young child, given they have only met four times before, two if you consider when Tooru started developing memories. Tooru had hit Kazuyo multiple times, overwhelmed and overstimulated with his strong emotions but the old man waited with a gentle assuring smile on his face. And like a miracle, one day Tooru took his hand, snuggling into his chest, seeking warmth from Kazuyo’s body. Kazuyo rocked him in his arms, whispering assurances softly into Tooru’s ears. 

The child wailed at the motion as Kazuyo’s swaying healed his wounded heart, a heart that yearned for love and familiarity. He was always swarmed with love in Seijoh, praised and hugged, surrounded by smiles and joyful laughter but here he had none. So he never let go, shriek the loudest he can when the servants try to pry him off his grandfather.  His only solace was his grandfather, the one who would sing him to sleep, the one who would hug him tightly when he’s crying, and the one who would play with him when he’s sad.

It was also Kazuyo who held him in his arms during Tooru’s first return visit to Aoba Johsai, letting the child snore as the horse and carriage carried them through the dark of night. With transportation, it took only 9 hours of travel without break so Kazuyo would keep him warm in his old man arms, making sure he had enough rest just so Tooru would have the energy to run around in his beloved Seijoh once again. He watched as Tooru’s eyes sparkled with excitement when he woke up, laughing happily with the biggest smile as he looked at Kazuyo. His heart melted at the innocence. Tooru was only a child and with the joy on his face, Kazuyo wished he could tell Kokushi to let the poor boy stay in the home he loved. Former Clan Leader or not, he had zero power, tucked away in the deepest rooms of the Recesses because his son did not see him as valuable. Yet it sent Kazuyo a sense of relief, knowing that he was able to tend to Tooru’s means, even if it was just by being a pillar of support.

The first thing Tooru went running for was not his mother but Iwaizumi Hajime. The boy was in the kitchen, as Tooru had expected, but instead of peeling seeds or cutting stems off vegetables like he usually did, he was reading , his back leaning against the entrance of the empty kitchen. Hajime didn’t look like the gruff boy he was before Tooru left, instead he had his hair kept neat and he wore a yukata of white and cyan.

‘Iwa-chan can read?’ thought Tooru as he approached the other boy, who turned with surprise when Tooru tackled him down with a hug. “IWA-CHAN!!!” He shrieked.

“Tooru?” Hajime breathed out, blinking in confusion. “You’re back?”

Tooru didn’t reply but buried his face into the neck of his best friend, missing the warmth of Hajime. And Hajime hugged back with the same tenderness he had everytime Tooru and him shared an embrace. It didn’t take long for Tooru to pull away, looking at the small book that Hajime was reading.

“Iwa-chan. You can read?” Tooru asked, leaving Hajime’s previous question unanswered, picking the book that had fallen to the floor. It was a picture-word book, one of the books Tooru was taught a year ago. After receiving a nod from Hajime, Tooru followed it up with a “How?”.

“Oikawa-san let me go to school.” was Hajime’s answer.

Tooru never went to school, instead went for private classes made just for him but he was happy. He knew school was where children learn how to read or write and he had seen disciples, young and old, sit in different pavilions and halls listening to a teacher ramble all day. Now, Tooru can share his passion of reading and writing with Iwa-chan! 

And he held true to his wishes. Every visit to Aoba Johsai, Tooru would bring along one or two new masterpieces of his writing from Kitagawa Daiichi. Since the first visit, Tooru had calmed down a bit and had decided to listen to his private tutor’s lessons for once, but it was so he could learn more words and more letters so he could share it with Hajime with a proud happy grin on his face. Hajime was a year behind in skill, slower in getting familiar to Tooru’s writings but in the end, they’ll be seated in the middle of Tooru’s room, drawing words they have learnt. It’s an odd interest Tooru had, for a child but Hajime shared the same. Unconsciously, it became a competition (to which Tooru had a privileged head start), where they would count how many words they had learnt.

Tooru paid little to no attention to his family during his visits, especially his mother, because he’s still bitter that he was left to fend for himself in Kitagawa Daiichi and that Tatsui never visited him once. He’d seen his aunt, the Clan Leader of Aoba Johsai, in the Recesses to talk to Kokushi but never Tatsui. Hence, Tooru held a grudge, which Tatsui accepted with a heavy heart. It’ll take a while for Tooru to warm back up to his mother and his brother and Tooru had no intentions of getting closer to them anytime soon, because why should he when he had Iwa-chan?

“Michamaru-san told me that I’m going to learn how to play a sword!” Tooru, 7, exclaimed, skipping down the pier. “Then I’m going to go for many, many classes and I will learn many things!” He said excitedly, emphasising on the word ‘many’ while drawing big circles with his arms.

“Wow…” Hajime replied in awe, walking beside his jittery friend.

“I can’t wait to go to school, Iwa-chan! I wish we could go to school together. I hattttteee the Recesses so much. It’s so boring.” Tooru complained, crossing his arms. “I want to study here. I want to study in Seijoh. I want to study with you.”

He really wished he could sit with Hajime in class. It didn’t matter if Hajime was one class behind, due to his late start, but he’d want to be with Hajime, studying new words and now learning much longer sentences together. 

Yet, a wish was just a wish. Tooru ended up going to school specially for young masters, and Hajime had yet to advance, creating another set of frustration to Tooru when he came back to Seijoh to share his newly found knowledge, only for Hajime to not be on the same page. His syllabi differed from Hajime’s which had nothing to do with the age group, but social class. Tooru was advanced in his studies, learning mathematics and sciences and had started to write short passages when Hajime was still in the process of perfecting his reading and writing. Not to forget that Tooru was a bright student, advancing further than his classmates, growing a much bigger gap in skill between him and Hajime. 

It tested Tooru’s patience. He just wanted to talk about the new things he had learnt to the person he cared for.

With the help of Tatsui, a year later Hajime was enrolled into another school, a school for young masters from noble families in Aoba Johsai, held in Seijoh. He made friends, one from the wealthy Matsukawa family and another from the Hanamaki family, which had brewed a pit of jealousy in Tooru when Hajime told him about them because ‘Iwa-chan I’m still your best friend, right?’ . Tooru received an eye roll from that question. He wasn’t joking though, in fact, he was extremely serious about it and scared. There was no place or time where Hajime was no longer his best friend.

Eventually Tooru did meet the two friends, Matsukawa Issei and Hanamaki Takahiro, both a year younger than him and Hajime, and it was a bitter pill to swallow when he realised he enjoyed their presence the same way Hajime did because they were his enemies , potential ‘ Iwa-chan snatchers’ . He wanted to dislike them for spending too much time with Hajime when he could only meet him twice a week. He wanted to cross his arms and huff, be petty but he couldn’t. Issei and Takahiro were great people, Tooru admitted two weeks after meeting them. But no matter how fun the two were, Tooru preferred being alone with Hajime, left to their own devices, his attention fully on Hajime and Hajime’s on him.

“Iwa-chan, have you learnt kenjutsu yet?” Tooru asked, flopping onto his futon. 

Hajime sighed. “They say we’ll start learning it next year.” He grumbled, crossing his arms. “Is it fun? I keep seeing the seniors play, I want to play too.”

“It is! You go swish and then go swoosh . And you get to look cool! Grandfather says I’m very very good for my age!”

“Wow! I also want to be good at kenjutsu.”

The spark in Hajime’s eyes matched Tooru’s and there began an unhealthy obsession over sword-fighting. They’d find ways to sneak into the Main Courtyard where the High Class were sparring, occasionally drag Issei and Takahiro along, just so they’d get to watch seniors swing arms, the clashing of their faux swords like a melody in their ears. Tooru knew the feeling of holding one but he wanted to share the love with Hajime and waited patiently until Hajime had to lift one. He just knew that with all the years Hajime had been in the kitchen, lifting pots, carrying sacks of heavy grains and hammering down mochi dough, that Hajime would be strong— hopefully not stronger than him, and it sparked a fire inside him, excited for the time he’d be able to have a spar with his best friend.

✧✧✧✧ 

In Kitagawa Daiichi, boys and girls were tested for their secondary constitution at the age of 10. It was an uncomfortable test, involving an examination by nurses and their violating hands touching nether regions to find something that’ll indicate their constitution. And Tooru did not like the test one bit and he ran straight to his room, wrapped underneath his blankets, trying to recover from the traumatising examination. The nurses were kind for they had gone through the same test before but Tooru hated how they touched him there, trying to find the developing base of a knot. It was gross, especially when he was deliberately taught by his grandfather that it must be protected.

Barely a few hours later, Tooru was called to his father’s study and suddenly, he’s now an alpha. Kokushi went on rambling about what he should do and what he shouldn’t as an alpha but Tooru was still disoriented from the news that was apparently.. news . What could it possibly bring to the table? Tooru did not understand why Kokushi made a big fuss about him being an alpha, lips pursed and eyebrows knitted with confusion. Everything he did from then on was being scrutinised, whether it was alpha appropriate or not,  and things he were once allowed to do became forbidden. Kokushi then became more demeaning, scolding Tooru for things he normally wouldn’t.  

“Try acting more like me, for instance.” He, an alpha and Tooru’s father, mentioned it once. “Maybe you’ll become more of an alpha.”

Before long, Tooru’s relationship with his father– that had been shaky since the beginning, began to sour. All because Tooru was an alpha. It irritated him for the whole week, legs itching to go back to Aoba Johsai and complain and bleed Hajime’s ears out.

“I don’t understand this stupid thing. It’s just my body! Why do I have to change how I do things?” Tooru grumbled, kicking a tiny pebble off the pier. “It’s so stupid!”

Neither Hajime, Issei nor Takahiro had gone through the examination yet, since it was not so strictly enforced in Aoba Johsai. They will have to eventually but they haven’t, so they could only listen to Tooru’s whines and complaints, agreeing that his father’s unacceptable behaviour was annoying. They couldn’t share the sentiment, however, and it left a bitter feeling in Tooru’s heart.

Tooru had been ahead of his friends in aspects more than one: Studies, kenjutsu, martial arts and now this secondary constitution crisis he’s experiencing. He felt left out, even though he knew he shouldn’t, because it is what it is, it’s not like he can change fate, but he didn’t like this feeling. He just wanted to be on the same page with everyone else. While he and the other three religiously meet every weekend, Tooru knew that there would be something Hajime, Issei and Takahiro share among themselves. At times, the three would accidentally slip out an inside joke and Tooru disliked how he had to ask for them to explain the joke. They did it without ill intent, of course, Tooru knew that but it would continue to fuel his insecurities and he’d feel bad. 

When Tooru learnt of his friends’ secondary constitution a year later, Tooru had already been taught the do’s and don’ts of each constitution. He could never wrap his head around it, not understanding why different organ parts meant different expectations but in the end, it was his only source of knowledge, taught by elders in Kitagawa Daiichi and his father . He learnt that Issei was an alpha and Takahiro was an omega, and Tooru could almost see why. Personalities and expectations had somewhat matched, according to his school’s textbook, except for Hajime. An omega .

As nicely as Tooru could put it, Hajime was the last thing omega-like. Too brash, too strong-headed, too fierce. All the omegas Tooru had met in Kitagawa Daiichi were gentle, demure and very soft-spoken, treated like precious gems, hidden away from the public eye. They flock with each other, hiding behind their fans, giggling sweetly, making alphas passing by swoon. That was not Hajime at all.

“You look constipated.” Hajime deadpanned, chewing onto his bread. “Like as if you’re going to take a dump.”

And he’s vulgar too. In fact, he was getting increasingly vulgar. “I do not!” Tooru exclaimed, scandalised. “I was just thinking.” He huffed.

“Think less next time, otherwise you’re going to overwork your brain.”

“You’re so mean, Iwa-chan!”

And this was Hajime being Hajime. Nothing changed about him. He was still Iwaizumi Hajime, his best friend of 7 years, omega or not. He would do the same things as he normally would like, scolding Tooru for doing something stupid and sparring with him during their free time. He was the same person as he was before the examination. So it didn’t make sense why Tooru must change completely and turn his whole world around just because he was an alpha.

Among the four friends, Issei was the first to hit first puberty but Tooru was the first to get his second, five months after his first puberty. He could smell everything and it aggravated his nose for the first few weeks, growling under his breath when someone tried to talk to him through his headache. His body went through too many changes within a short time so Kageyama Tooru, 13 and a temperamental hormonal growing teenager, became increasingly irritable over a couple weeks. He had scowled far too many times in that duration, even bared his teeth threateningly to Tobio, who just happened to take a peek at him in the library.

If it wasn’t for Hajime’s second puberty to hit after his, Tooru would be sprouting an unpleasant reputation for himself in Kitagawa Daiichi, always frowning and glaring because everything was smelling wrong. It didn’t help that his father’s pestering grew, making his annoyance hard to disappear, and it took so much within Tooru’s control to not growl at Kokushi for smelling terrible. When Hajime’s omegan scent and pheromones hit his nostrils for the first time, it was like his troubled mind had been cleared. There was something comforting about Hajime’s pheromones, unlike the others he had smelt. His father’s was unpleasant and so was his step-mother’s, but Hajime’s was different.

“Iwa-chan. You smell good.” He blurted out, blushing furiously.

Hajime, who had a cloth mask over his nose and mouth, narrowed his eyes. “And you reek. Control your pheromones, Shittykawa. You’re going to give me a migraine.” He chided, still prickly from his puberty a few days ago. 

“I complimented you and you insulted me! Iwa-chan, why are you so mean to me?” 

“I swear, Tooru, if I am not smelling ten thousand things at once, I would not be as snappy right now. Please, I beg you, your pheromones are getting stronger– control it for god’s sake!”

Tooru didn’t, not because he didn’t want to, but because he didn’t know how to, three weeks fresh into his newly developed alpha nose and pheromone glands. He pouted and leaned closer, getting a stronger whiff of Hajime’s pleasant smell, whining when Hajime scolded him to knock it out. He smelt good, too good that Tooru was addicted to it, refusing to leave Hajime’s side, burying himself into Hajime’s scent. Tooru had expected Hajime to push him away when he pulled him into a hug before returning back to the Recesses for the week, but Hajime didn’t, in fact, sheepishly buried his still-masked face into Tooru’s neck during the embrace, making Tooru’s heart swell with a certain type of tenderness that felt alien to him.

Tooru’s life has somewhat fallen into normalcy, studying and training in the Recesses and relaxing in the pier during the weekends, a routine that Tooru had gotten used to. He still did not like the fact that he had to stay in Kitagawa Daiichi but it was inevitable, something fate had decided for him. Every weekend, Tooru had something to look forward to and it wasn’t something but someone . That someone being Iwaizumi Hajime. He did not care about Issei or Takahiro, unfortunately. If they were around, it was a bonus but Hajime was crucial to his visits and Hajime was always there. During the summers, they would be out and about in the pier, swinging swords or swimming in the lake and during the winters, the two of them would be snug inside Tooru’s room or the library, under heavy blankets, talking or reading. 

For the first time, Tooru loved the winters. To be wrapped under a blanket, close to Hajime, Tooru enjoyed every second of it. Hajime’s pheromones were comforting and it helped him relax, Tooru often drifting off into a slumber, leaning against Hajime’s shoulder. Eventually, Hajime, who would normally stay awake, snuggled along, sleeping beside his best friend. Hajime would never admit it but he too, loved how Tooru smelt, the alpha’s pheromones calming down his soul. Books on the floor, Tooru and Hajime would spend their winter afternoons napping together in Tooru’s room, filling his room with both their scents mixed together.

With these routined naps, both Tooru and Hajime had unconsciously scented one another so servants gossiped and students whispered whenever Tooru walked down the halls of Kitagawa Daiichi, smelling like an omega. Kokushi wasn’t happy about the ordeal, knowing that his son was walking around scented by an omega. Tooru would care less. So what if he smelt like Hajime? And so what if Hajime smelt like Tooru? And so what if Tooru loved smelling like Hajime?

Takahiro pointed it out once to Tooru’s face with a look of disgust and somewhere inside him preened at that statement, making him grin proudly that he now smelled like Hajime.

“You’re just jealous Mattsun didn’t scent you” , he said that day, that had him being pushed aggressively by a furiously blushing Takahiro. 

Takahiro wasn’t the only one who blushed at Tooru’s words for Hajime also turned pink, the bright color gently spread across his beautiful tanned skin, eyes looking away from him as if to save himself from any further embarrassment.

Tooru and Hajime continued their routines by each other's sides, snuggling in each other’s arms the afternoon in the cold winters of Aoba Johsai, enjoying the warmth their bodies were releasing. At the same time, they’d smell of one another from the hours they have spent together. It’s only twice a week Tooru was in Seijoh, not up in the depressing Recesses in the mountains so they’d make up for every lost time. It’s what friends do, isn't it? Enjoy each other's presence?

Friends.

It didn’t take long for Tooru to realise that he was falling in love with his best friend, noticing how his heart raced when Hajime nestled into his arms for their nap. He looked down once, his face heated up when it dawned upon him. Staring at the sleeping omega, he wondered, flipping through the memories of the short romance light novels he had read, if the butterflies in his stomach and the fiery desire to keep Hajime close and never let go was a sign of love. It was. His heart yearned for more, bordering the line between love and obsession, thinking of what life would be— no, what heaven would be like to have Hajime by his side, married and his. 

Forever.

In the evening of one summer night that marked Hajime’s birthday, Tooru had his hands wrapped around Hajime’s as he stared into those jade-green eyes, the ones he had been fascinated with since young. They stood underneath Tooru’s favourite gazebo in the West Wing, the one that perfectly captured the sunset, and without much hesitation, Tooru said:

“Iwa-chan, I like you.”

Hajime, now 14, didn’t respond at first, his body frozen but his eyes blinking repeatedly as the gears in his brain started to move, deciphering the words that left Tooru’s mouth. Tooru waited patiently but not without worry growing inside him at every silent second and when he could not wait any longer he prompted,

“Iwa-chan?” Tooru had said it hoping it would snap Hajime out of the frozen spell.

And Hajime finally moved, his cheeks flushing into a deep, not pink, red. Looking away with shaky eyes, Hajime ripped his hands away to hide his flushed face and Tooru’s heart jolted when the other boy groaned before peeking between his fingers, his pretty eyes for Tooru to see.

“What the hell, Shittykawa.” Hajime managed to croak, refusing to remove his hands from his face. “You don’t just say that in the middle of nowhere. Could have chosen a better timing” He mumbled, feigning nonchalance which was immediately betrayed by his pheromones and if pheromones could talk, it would be squealing its head off. “Idiot.”

Tooru whined. “I just confessed my feelings for you and you didn’t even waste a chance to insult me.” He pouted. 

“Not out of nowhere!” Hajime insisted, still hiding most of his face.

“It’s not if I've been liking you for a while now!” Tooru protested, crossing his arms. “I liked it when you scented me, okay? I liked it so much and I like being around you, Iwa-chan. So I very much have the chance to confess to you right now!”

“O-Okay fine! Just shut up, it’s embarrassing.” 

Hajime was flustered and this was not a usual sight to both Tooru and commonfolk, that when Hajime finally put his hands away, Tooru did not fight away the urge to grab those hands again, looking into those beautiful green eyes again. He held Hajime’s hands close to his chest, right above his raging heart.

“I like you, Iwa-chan. Do you like me or not?” He asked, direct and simple.

This time it didn’t take long for Hajime to answer him and it took Hajime a lot of effort to not splutter with his words, “Shittykawa, did you think I would have allowed you to scent me if I didn’t like you? Yes, I like you too, you idiot.”

“Will you be my mate?”

“That’s so far ahead!”

“I’m asking about the future!”

“I- I don’t kno-” Hajime was weak to Tooru’s pout. “Fine, fine! I’ll be your mate. For god’s sake, Shittykawa let me go and stop staring at me like that! It’s embarassing!”

And Tooru, at the age of 13, a month away from 14, had secured a mate for his years ahead and the mate was Iwaizumi Hajime, his best friend from Aoba Johsai. Now he could scent Hajime and shower him with all the love he had within him until they’re old enough. That was a dream to look forward to. 

And barely a month later, Kokushi halted his return visits to Aoba Johsai.

✧✧✧✧ 

Chained was all Tooru felt. It was like his life was falling apart. First, it was the stupid divorce because his father couldn’t keep it in his pants and spouted two step-siblings Tooru did not like. Now, his weekend visits had been cancelled, stopped forever and his father was clear and direct with his words that Tooru had no purpose in Aoba Johsai, and he will not be allowed to visit at all. He was furious when Kokushi said that, storming out of the dining hall and far far away, needing to clear his mind.

“Who does he think he is doing this to me?!” He yelled angrily to no one in particular, ruffling his hair in frustration as he walked towards one of his favourite secluded gardens. “He never cared about me and he’s doing this to me?! What the hell?!” 

And he swore and swore, kicking the dirt floor, shouting as he was filled with immense rage, something that he hadn’t felt for a long time. The garden came to sight and instantly let out the loudest scream he could, before falling to his knees. His eyes started to burn with tears as his anger turned into sadness. He hated this. Ever since the divorce everything had been falling apart, and no, Tooru didn’t want any aspect of this. He wanted to be home in Seijoh, the heart of Aoba Johsai, with his friends, with Hajime . But here, all Kokushi cared about was Tooru being a proper alpha and the next Clan Leader, forcing change upon change upon change in his life. It’s painful living through uncertainty and it certainly felt more painful when there was no one holding his hand, guiding him mentally and giving him the support he needed.

Tooru hugged himself, letting his tears run freely. He’s so lonely here, no one to play with, no one to talk freely to. His classmates were older than him and his father and the clan had plans for him that he didn’t want. Tooru tightened his embrace and cried, like he did when he was 4 when he was first separated from his mother. There was no one here to hug him and tell him everything was alright, and Tooru’s cries got louder. Hajime’s scent on him was weak and Tooru whimpered when he couldn’t smell Hajime anymore, his heart desperately yearning to smell at least a bit of Hajime on him. But it’s been two weeks since he’d last been with Hajime and his scent had started to fade away.

A hand stroked his hair and Tooru snapped his head up, eyes red and face wet with tears when he realised who it was: His grandfather, Kageyama Kazuyo. The old man had left dinner to find him. Tooru felt like a child again when he hugged his grandfather’s legs, wailing in anguish and guilt for having forgotten the one man who had been by his side for years. Kazuyo didn’t say anything but let his grandson cry it all out from all the unfortunate decisions made for him. There wasn’t much he could do except be the shoulder for Tooru to cry on and Tooru utilised that, broken cries echoing in the silence of the garden, a pure demonstration of the devastating life of Kageyama Tooru.

Two and a half weeks had passed since Tooru had been forbidden to return to Aoba Johsai and his emotions were either depressed or angry. The angry part being specially catered to Kokushi because he’d grown to loathe his own father, who in exchange did not see Tooru as his own son, but as a project and visual to his power. He barely cooperated outside classes, refusing loud and clear that he wouldn’t be joining any meals with his family, rather served at his room, and it pissed Kokushi off the most. Sometimes he’d join them but purposely, he’d start an argument, or if he didn’t, escalate it. He wanted Kokushi to feel his pain, feel the frustration of keeping him caged in the Recesses. But over the course of two weeks it started to fail, making Tooru more susceptible to his father’s complaints and nagging, slowly letting Kokushi’s words eat him up, his confidence becoming more vulnerable to collapse. 

Tooru stared at the wrapped basket offered to him. “You’d do that for me?” 

Kazuyo smiled and patted his head. “Of course. Just because I’ve not been a Clan Leader for a long time doesn’t mean I don’t have contacts.” He said as he watched Tooru examine the letter sets in front of him.

“Will Father get mad at you if he catches this?” Tooru whispered, his voice unsure.

“Maybe. But it’ll be worth getting scolded for, my dear.” 

And Tooru began writing a letter, not for his mother, not for his brother, but Hajime. He wrote in the letter everything , his emotions and his feelings, and what Kokushi had done to him. He let himself go all out, his tears staining the paper before him. As promised, Kazuyo had a carrier, who was an old friend, to send his letter out to Seijoh during his usual mailing duties so with a hesitating and trembling hand, Tooru handed his letter over to the carrier.

It took a week until Tooru got a response from Hajime. The second the mailman returned and quietly brought him the letter, the familiar scent of Hajime’s pheromones brought him to tears, bringing the letter to his nose. He missed smelling Hajime, he missed smelling like Hajime so he let himself sit at the corner of his room in the night, hugging the unopened letter, taking in all of Hajime’s scent he could get.

It went on for years, Tooru and Hajime writing each other letters every week, telling each other updates of their lives. This routine made Tooru’s adapting to his new life much easier, especially when Kokushi had changed his schedule, preparing him to be the next Clan Leader of Kitagawa Daiichi. Besides Hajime's scent on the letter calming him down, it felt like he was still back in Seijoh when he read the letters. Occasionally Takahiro and Issei would write along, giving Tooru some sense of belonging to his homeland. After a long week, reading letters helped him unwind.

He’s learnt that his three friends, now 16 and 17, had decided to become disciples of Aoba Johsai, training for life and dedicating their life for the clan. He also learnt that Hajime had gotten ahead of the rest in both studying and combat and got himself a name for climbing up the ranks too fast for the other disciples’ liking. Hajime made it to High Class quickly and Tooru was proud to hear such great news from him. However, no matter how proud and happy he was for Hajime, he wished he was there during the whole process. Instead, he had to read about it on a piece of paper that took a week to get on his table.

Tooru’s life became worse when Tobio’s second puberty struck. That boy, an alpha, had overthrown him in places he was good at. With the exclusion of studies, Tobio managed to climb up the ranks at an early age and Kokushi would use every chance he had to compare him with Tobio, telling him that Tobio was more alpha-like than him. Whether or not Tooru cared about fully portraying his alpha identity, it started to gnaw into the back of his head. Kokushi didn’t want Tobio as Clan Leader but Tooru , and he’d continue to compare and contrast in a menacing way with the hopes that Tooru would change. Tooru also saw how much his father loved Tobio, though he showed it in a rather unconventional manner, when he was treated like a tool, nothing more than an alpha in training to be a Clan Leader. 

The day he lost to Tobio in a sparring match, Tooru, who never truly felt strongly about his half-brother, started to hate him. He looked up with rage in his heart while Tobio stared down at him, a thin layer of sweat over his face. Kageyama Tobio, 15, had managed to defeat his brother, Kageyama Tooru, 19, in a sparring match. He had more experience and had been with the sword much longer but he still lost. His pride was wounded. He couldn’t be the best at anything, can he? Kenjutsu, being an alpha, being a worthy son— Nothing. All to be trampled by his own half brother who for some reason had all of it. 

Tooru shouted into his empty room after dinner as tears of frustration bubbled into his eyes, his aching heart feeling heavy in his chest. His eyes fell on the opened letter on his table, Hajime’s most recent letter and immediately he snatched it into his hands, clutching it to his chest to get a whiff of whatever was left of Hajime’s scent on the letter. And then he cried. 

✧✧✧✧ 

All updates written in letters courtesy of Hajime, Tooru was able to keep up to the most recent state of Seijoh and the clan. The news he received varied from measly updates like ‘the kitchen had been renovated’ to entertaining gossip like ‘apparently one of the noble families kept begging from house to house for money’ to shocking revelations like ‘tooru, guess what. hanamaki got knocked up. and by who? matsukawa issei.’ to important information and news about Aoba Johsai. While he was aware Kokushi had been deliberately hiding pieces of information about Aoba Johsai since he started his Clan Leader preparation classes,  he didn’t expect them to hide everything . 

He was a week late in knowing that his aunt, the Clan Leader of Aoba Johsai, and her family were capsized on their return home from China. No one survived and Tooru felt his heart drop when he read Hajime’s words. While he wasn’t very close with his aunt, she had been there, part of his memories as a child, so were his cousins. They were his family and he learnt about their death a week later. Apart from that devastating tragedy, Katsuro was forced to ascend to Clan Leader with the other siblings too deep in grief. 

It enraged Tooru that his father did not inform him. It was his right to know what happened to his family.  And he’d like to visit his grieving family and especially his brother, hoping he’s managing fine with such a heavy responsibility thrown upon his shoulders. 

Hajime’s letters stopped for a few weeks after that, leaving Tooru at a cliffhanger because his father and the elders won’t tell him even if he probed. Kazuyo had fallen ill and Tooru did not have the heart to bother his grandfather so he tried the mailman who’d been religiously sending and receiving his letters. The only response he received was that the Aoba Johsai Clan had fallen into a crisis again. The silence from Hajime was deafening as one week led to two, three, four, and eventually a whole year. 

Yet he, a boy born in the lands of Aoba Johsai, had no choice but to wait and pray for things to get better. 

For he cared too much for his homeland, he forgot about praying for himself when Kazuyo passed away in the middle of his sleep, one month before Tooru’s dreaded 20th birthday.

Tooru felt empty, abandoned , like the world had been plotting his demise. He stared at the stone slate before him with eyes dark like the abyss, while the others around him cried at Kazuyo’s funeral.  It hurts to see his grandfather go, especially when Tooru needed him most but Tooru was somewhat grateful he had gone, far away from the hells of Kitagawa Daiichi. Tobio stood beside him, clutching onto his apparel, his cries soft and muffled. He didn’t like Tobio at all, in fact, he had harboured many strong unpleasant feelings about the younger boy, but seeing Tobio, the shy and quiet brother he knew, crying, made him want to cry too. 

Tooru did cry when he returned back to his room as he wrote a letter to Hajime. All the letters he sent over a year, he had yet to get a reply, but that didn’t matter right now. It was too much for his heart– all the grief from his grandfather’s death, the anxiety of his 20th birthday celebration, the inferiority he felt when Tobio outdid him again– he needed comfort. But Kazuyo was no longer there for him to seek so he cried and cried, his trembling hands writing the saddest letter Hajime would ever read. His heart hurt and ached, and he cried hard until he couldn’t breathe, lying down on the cold floor, clutching onto his chest as the world turned black.

The day after he woke up to letters on the foot of his bed. All of them were replies to Tooru’s letters. He looked at Miwa who peeked her head into his bedroom.

“How did you—“ He began, his voice raspy from the morning wake, when his sister interrupted him.

“Father found out. He changed courier schedules and took away anything that was meant for you.” Miwa said with a low voice. “I can get one letter out by tonight if you need.”

It was like Kazuyo had shown himself in another form, the form being his half-blooded sister. Tooru spent half the day reading, occasionally breaking into laughter or crying, because he missed his letters so much. Almost all had lost the trace of Hajime’s scent but he was already happy seeing Hajime’s handwriting. The shoji to his bedroom slid open and Miwa peeked her head in again.

“You better start writing.” She hissed before closing it shut.

And Tooru scrambled to get his letter set, using one last piece of the last pack Kazuyo had bought for him, and wrote away. It was the longest letter Tooru had written, his tears dripping onto the paper, leaving a few smudges here and there. His heart that was in turmoil seeked this outlet, expressing its pain and sorrow into words, telling its fingers to move to speak to Hajime through this letter. Because there was no ounce of certainty that he'd ever meet Hajime again.

“I’ll stay strong. I will. For Iwa-chan, I will stay strong and maybe I’ll get back home one day.” He had told himself as he wrote line after line.

I have had so many things taken away from me, Iwa-chan. I don’t have the heart to do the same to Tobio-chan. If I leave now, he’ll be forced to be the next Clan Leader and then his teenagehood will be taken away from him.  I am in no way similar to my Father and will not take something away from Tobio-chan. I’ll hold out as much as I can. I’m losing myself, so please pray for me, Iwa-chan. 

Nonetheless, on his 20th birthday, Tooru watched as a familiar figure walked into the Banquet Hall, trailing behind a grown man that looked awfully similar to Katsuro. Tooru couldn’t believe his eyes when he realised it was Hajime, the love of his life, his pillar, his future mate . Hajime had grown into such a beautifully handsome man, his face angular and his eyes sharp when he scanned the room. He was much more muscular than Tooru last saw him, his height just slightly shorter than Tooru himself. Hajime was here accompanying Katsuro as a second accompanying samurai guard, dressed in a hakama of cyan and white. 

But no matter what physical changes Hajime went through, he still smelt like Iwa-chan , the boy Tooru had grown to love.

“Iwa-chan, I’ve missed you.” Tooru whispered as soon as they found an isolated place to reunite, his eyes instantly fogging up with tears. “It’s been too long.” He said, choking on a sob.

“Shh. It’s been a long 6 years, huh.” Hajime smiled sadly, placing a hand on Tooru’s shoulder. “How have you been?”

“I hate it here. I want to go back but Father won't let me. I want to see you more, the letters aren’t enough, Iwa-chan, I can’t do this anymore.”

“I know, I know. You’ve been so strong, Tooru.” 

Tooru sniffled and gingerly took Hajime’s hand in his, his lips trembling when he realised how much he missed holding Hajime’s hands. “Father wants me to get married. I do not want to get married with anyone else but you, Iwa-chan.” He mumbled quietly.

He was returned with another sad look from Hajime, his future mate that he had promised himself to when he was 14. “Listen to me, Tooru. I’ll wait for you no matter how long it takes.” Hajime said with such softness that made Tooru’s fragile heart shake, as he raised Tooru’s hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on his knuckles.

And Tooru wailed.

Tooru wanted to stay with Hajime, maybe run away and never come back but he couldn’t risk Hajime’s life either. So he let go, his heart crushing into pieces when Hajime scented him goodbye, the sadness in Hajime’s eyes matching his. He wanted to stay scented and be scented but Kokushi was there, everywhere . He couldn’t let his father find out and subsequently hurt Hajime. With tears running down his face, Tooru scrubbed himself clean, getting rid of anything that would remind him of Hajime.

Hajime was all in his mind since the 20th birthday celebration and Tooru had vowed to never fall in love with anyone else. His heart was to Hajime and Hajime only but Kokushi was on his own agenda, setting his son up for a pretty omega from the Ishikawa family. No matter how much Tooru pushed the engagement away, Kokushi would not back down with his orders and pushed harder. He had seen the looks of anger on Kokushi’s face evolve over time as he revolted against his father’s orders that no, he would not marry Ishikawa Hikaru. Kokushi didn’t waste time making his life absolute hell after that and one of his methods was to hit him.

Tooru hadn’t remembered the last time he’d been hit. He had been scolded very often, yelled at but never since he’d grown. He took blow after blow and Kokushi hit him, from using his hands to objects in his vicinity, from books to items with sharp edges. Kokushi took out all of his anger on Tooru that night and the pain overwhelmed him. For a second, Tooru felt like he was about to die. His pride and confidence as a man had been tarnished when he stumbled out of his father’s study only to meet eyes with Tobio, the 16 year old teenager who was his brother, the boy who took over everything he thought he thrived at.

But he couldn’t get mad at Tobio because he , Kageyama Tooru, had decided to leave— to run away from Kitagawa Daiichi forever . If it wasn’t for Miwa visiting him when he was recovering from his injuries and offering him assistance, he wouldn’t be at the stairwell of the Recesses to leave. Tobio would be the next victim, to be the next Clan Leader because Tooru was no longer there. He was not strong enough for this. He had never been. Or maybe he’s strong but not here. This place was a blasphemy for a soul like his.

Tobio watched him leave and all the responsibility that was once on Tooru’s shoulders had been put on Tobio’s, just so Tooru could leave and be safe, away from the terrors of Kageyama Kokushi. And Tooru couldn’t look back, knowing that he was leaving Tobio with a burden so heavy but there was no way Tooru could shoulder that responsibility alone. He’ll admit that he’s scared and weak that he had to run away. His place belonged somewhere else and that was Aoba Johsai. It took a soft call of his name from Shigeru to snap him out of his thoughts to notice they had reached the bottom of the mountain, facing a horse Miwa had prepared for them. 

“Do you wish to change your mind, Tooru-sama?” Shigeru asked, holding the reins of the horse.

Tooru shook his head, a hand on the hilt of his katana. “No. We ride back home.”

And home was Seijoh.

Tooru felt a sense of relief wash over his body when he first saw the gates of Seijoh, the beautiful water lily motifs reminding him of home. The sun had risen and the streets had begun to bustle with business so with his exhausted head leaning against Shigeru’s shoulder, his lips curved into a smile of content that he was back at where he belonged. There had been a couple changes in the streets. The roads were more maintained and some of the main houses were renovated but the air had been the same and Tooru’s inner child was beaming. They passed by Tooru’s favourite store, one that crafted straw dolls, and he felt himself tear up at the sight of the owner, strands of grey evident on his hair. How long has it been since he left Seijoh? Since he was taken away captive up into the mountains?

“Oikawa-dono?!” Exclaimed one of the guards posted outside, his face plastered with shock when he saw them. 

It surprised Tooru that they still recognised him. 

“Tooru-sama has returned to Aoba Johsai. Please, let his family know.” Shigeru said as he got off the horse, holding a hand out for his lord to use as support.

It took only a couple minutes for Tatsui and Katsuro to come bursting out of the gate, a panicked and concerned expression on their faces which softened at the sight of Tooru. Tooru might have grown a grudge over his mother but Tooru had been so hurt, broken and abused that when he saw Tatsui, Tooru burst into tears, throwing himself to the mother he had not seen for a long time. The tight hug Tatsui gave in return made him feel like a child seeking for a mother’s comfort and safety as he pulled himself closer, letting his mother’s warmth envelope him. Katsuro joined the hug and he cried harder, missing how comforting a family’s hug was. 

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” Tatsui said softly, pulling away to gaze at his son’s teary face. “Did something happen?”

Tooru tried to speak but he couldn’t, choking on his own breath and tears, as every touch Tatsui had on his face forced his heart that was already weak, to crumble in his mother’s hands. He felt Katsuro nuzzle his head lightly against his. It’s been too long since he’d been with his true family and the comfort they offered was so similar to Kazuyo’s, making his tired soul scream for his late grandfather.

The older omega raised a hand to rest on Tooru’s cheek with teary eyes. “I’ve missed you so much. I'm so sorry for not trying harder, Ru-chan. My beautiful, beautiful son.”

Tatsui’s words pierced Tooru’s heart. Belittled up in the mountains, he forgot what it was like to be praised, the same way he had been when he was a child. He forgot what it was like to be loved and he nodded, leaning into his mother’s touch. 

“Mother, let’s bring him in.” Katsuro spoke softly. 

Stepping into Seijoh’s grounds, his eyes scanned the place. Everything was the same besides the walls were being repainted. It was his home, the same place he had grown into when he was a young child. Nothing in Kitagawa Daiichi had his heart like this, not even his bedroom where he had left everything there, including the katana that was welded for him. A familiar scent tickled his nose and Tooru looked around, eyes frantically searching for someone.

Hajime. He’s here.

Tatsui caught the change in his attention and smiled fondly, tucking a few strands of hair behind Tooru’s ear. “He’s in the kitchen.” He said gently. “Go.”

And Tooru ran as fast as his legs would let him, following the trail of Hajime’s scent and there he was, Iwaizumi Hajime, by the kitchen in his hakama, leaning against the door frame, sharpening a cooking knife. Tooru froze in his steps, his breath caught in his throat, entranced by the sight of the omega, the Acting Head of Guard, his future mate.

“Iwa-chan!” He yelled, his voice breaking.

And Hajime reacted to his call, his head snapping towards the source of sound, his eyes wide with surprise as Tooru sprinted, heading towards his direction. At an instant Hajime threw the knife to the side, just in time to catch the running alpha.

“Tooru?” He gasped, letting out a grunt when Tooru crashed against him, immediately burying his face into Hajime’s neck. “Why are you here?”

“I miss you so much, Iwa-chan.” Tooru’s voice was muffled as he tightened his arms around Hajime’s body, leaving the other man’s question hanging.

The omega recovered from the shock, smiled as he ruffled Tooru’s still ever soft brown locks of hair, nuzzling his nose against Tooru’s nape. “I missed you too. How are you?”

“I don’t want to go back. I want to stay here forever.”

“You ran away? I’m glad you did, Tooru.”

A light chuckle rumbled in Hajime’s chest and Tooru leaned his head against Hajime’s shoulder, his lips forming a little pout. He missed hearing Hajime’s chuckle. There was that signature boyish grin on Hajime’s face except there was a touch of tenderness in his eyes as he looked down, his green eyes locked with Tooru’s brown ones. The alpha’s heart missed a beat as he felt his face heat up with the proximity they were in.

“Marry me, Iwa-chan. Please, I don’t want to go back. I want to stay here with you forever until the day I die.”

A soft hue of red appeared on Hajime’s cheeks. “Why are you so painfully lovable, hm?” He whispered. “If that’s what you want, Tooru.” Tooru rubbed his head against Hajime’s neck affectionately, while tears of joy ran down his face. The omega laughed. “Now, calm down big guy. We have a lot of things to talk about and show you around. Wouldn’t want this pretty face to be blotched with tears, shall we?”

Tooru nodded, letting Hajime wipe away the tears off his face. “I love you, Iwa-chan.” He muttered.

“And I love you too.”

✧✧✧✧ 

Tooru should feel free. He must . Yet here he was pacing around his room, biting his nails with nervousness. It’s been almost 16 hours since he’s arrived back in his hometown and he’d enjoyed every moment with his family since. He laughed wholeheartedly during lunch, he splashed water towards his friends while in the lake and he spent his time rearranging his untouched bedroom with Hajime, his heart full. 

Only for his heart to feel unsettled when the sun began to set. It wasn’t like he was scared of the dark. He was scared of someone.

His brother and mother had sworn to offer Tooru protection, away from the possibility of Kokushi haunting him down. That man would do anything to make sure his image remained perfect, in no way tarnished, especially not from his son. The son that was supposed to be the Clan Leader of Kitagawa Daiichi, his successor. Tooru gnawed onto the rim of his nails, his heart beating in his ears as fear coursed through his veins, unknowingly sending distressed signals in his pheromones. It’s terrifying to think of Kokushi barging through the gates of the pier, dragging him out and forcing him to stay in the Recesses once again— maybe this time, until the day he dies.

He can’t be there ever again. Never . Not when he mustered the courage to leave, accepting all the possible consequences of having his reputation tarnished and never recovered. All except for one and that was his father forcefully making him leave Seijoh and never return. His breaths fastened as he quickened his pace. He could feel himself become increasingly dizzy but he couldn’t stop himself. Too worried for what was to come. His father could come over anytime and Tooru did not want to face Kokushi in rage, not when his last encounter resulted in broken skin and blood. His panicked state made him miss the sound of his shoji opening and if it was not for a particular scent permeating the air, Tooru would have not stopped.

Hajime stood by his door, worry plastered all over his face. “Tooru? Are you alright?”

The alpha gulped, his hands twitching with fear. His eyes frantically looked around, feeling a little too paranoid for how his door was open, seeing the empty walkways lit by tiny lamps. Anyone else could barge in at that very moment. His shoulders tensed the longer the shoji remained open and it didn’t take long for Hajime to realise what was bothering him, closing the door as silently and quickly as possible. In an instant, Tooru relaxed, fully registering the fact that it was only him and Hajime.

“Sorry. I wasn’t in the right mind.” Tooru murmured.

Hajime shook his head and walked towards him, releasing pheromones to calm him down like he always did. Tooru’s lips form into a little pout. “Don’t apologise for anything right now.” He said firmly but his voice showed so much care. “It’s time for dinner, Tooru.”

“Can I eat here? I don’t want to leave my room.” 

“Of course, I’ll ask for your food to be served here. Stay put and don’t go anywhere.”

Tooru did try to calm himself down the longer the clock ticked, chewing down his meals while Hajime watched from the side. The chances of Kokushi reaching Seijoh grew bigger at every passing minute and it plagued Tooru like a nightmare. He was happy he ran away, relieved that his family was by his side— why was his mind treating it like a major sin? A weird sense of guilt ran through him. As he ate, he wondered. Was his happiness truly worth it? Dumping tons of responsibilities on the shoulder of an inexperienced teenager, forcing his younger brother to become a Clan Leader? What about all Kazuyo had done for him? All the support, the love and compassion he had put in for his grandson… all for Tooru to run away? Was this the right course of action?

It must be. He knew he would be significantly mentally better in Seijoh than up in Kitagawa Daiichi. But why did it feel wrong? And if Kokushi does show up and create a ruckus, was Tooru right for bringing all his weight and emotional baggage to the very place he called home and potentially ruin the state of Seijoh? The Aoba Johsai clan was small, recently recovering from a crisis, and Tooru had walked into the heart of Aoba Johsai with probably a man hot on his tail.

Am I being selfish?

“Tooru.”

The said man looked up from his demolished plates with a full mouth at Hajime, who was no longer by the door but in front of him, on his knees, eyes looking straight into Tooru’s. Finally out of his storm of thoughts, Tooru smelt it, the thick scent of Hajime’s pheromones in the air, which he assumed the omega released to calm him down. 

“I know it’s been hard for you. But you’re here now by the pier in your real home. Whatever your father may do, we will handle it, alright? Don’t think about us, don’t think about anyone but yourself. Don’t let anything else take over your mind. I love you so much, I can’t lose you again.”

Swallowing the remains of food in his mouth, he nodded as a smile stretched across Hajime’s face. They spent the rest of the night in Tooru’s room, this time with Takahiro and Issei joining them— and the very talkative toddler Matsukawa Akane who couldn’t stop herself from being curious about this random yet very important man that had appeared in Seijoh. She was very bubbly and Hajime perfectly described her personality in their letters. Tooru couldn’t help but remember what it was like being loved as a child. He found himself smiling at Akane’s very curious questions with no filter, often ruffling her neatly braided hair which resulted in a loud scream from the girl as she ran to her father to get her hair redone, and a smack at the back of his head by Hajime because how could he do that. 

Having Tooru distracted from the impending doom of Kokushi bursting into Seijoh, he was enjoying himself, making jokes with his friends like how they used to when they were teenagers. They may be adults now but deep down they were still the same bunch of dumb naive teenagers finding everything under the sun funny. Their bonding moment ended when Akane yawned, curling into Issei’s side, and the married couple left for the night, leaving Hajime and Tooru alone. Embracing the comfortable silence, Tooru looked out the window, staring at the stars sparkling above while Hajime stood beside him, as if everything had gone back to normal.

Well, Tooru expected it to be soon. At least until Kokushi was off his back. Whenever that would be. But deep inside he was still fearing, albeit a lot less than he was a few hours ago. He looked over his shoulder to see Hajime, eyes closed, enjoying the cool night air and the scent of water lilies floating below them. The moon gazed down at them, illuminating the lake below, its moonlight kissing Hajime’s skin.

Tooru’s chest tightened as he imagined what it would be like if he didn’t take the risk—  the risk to ask Miwa for help, the risk to leave undetected and the risk for Kokushi to change his world overnight with his rage. He wouldn’t be able to be standing beside Hajime, rather an omega he didn’t love, stuck in a marriage he didn’t want, leading a clan with a chain on his neck. Instead, he was here in Seijoh, looking out his window and up into the sky above, and admiring how beautiful Hajime truly was.

Forget it. It’s all worth it. Whatever Kokushi would bring along into the gates of Seijoh, Tooru would suck it up and take it, stand his ground and refuse to leave with him. He had his father’s blood in him— he was a son of a man that was stubborn and blind in love that he'd do anything to fight fate and he, too, was the same.

“Iwa-chan.” He breathed out, suddenly flustered for what he wanted to say, when Hajime opened his eyes and faced him with a hum. “I know we’re not married yet but… can you spend the night with me? I haven’t had to be this close to you for years.”  Tooru began, his cheeks hot, eyes looking everywhere else but Hajime, too aware of the words leaving his mouth. The air around them grew thick with their pheromones as Hajime’s face turned pink, waiting for Tooru to continue.  “I want to be with you tonight. Just us two. I missed you too much.”

His hands clenched into fists because they itched, tempted to grab Hajime and take him all for himself, years of yearning so close to taking over his body. Hajime wasn’t doing so well himself, gulping as his eyes dragged up and down Tooru’s face and body, his scent now sweet and craving. And the omega’s response was brief, as if he had rehearsed this scene before,

“Have me. Please, Tooru.”

That night they didn’t know Kokushi had knocked onto the Seijoh gates like a madman, screaming for Tooru to show himself. That night they didn’t know Tatsui and Katsuro stood their ground, firmly against Kokushi’s demands for Tooru to be surrendered to him. That night they didn’t know that a personal request by the next-in-line Clan Leader of Shiratorizawa singlehandedly pushed Kokushi away from pursuing Tooru. That night, all they knew was each other, deep in their desires, seeking what they couldn’t over the past seven years. Too preoccupied with the warmth of each other’s bodies, nothing else mattered that night as they held together tight in a new chapter of their world.

Tooru did wake up to great news the next day where his brother handed him a newly made identity token, water lilies surrounding the wood that drew out his name. No longer was his name Kageyama Tooru, but Oikawa Tooru, binding him back and fully into the Oikawa family, the ruling family of the Aoba Johsai clan, for the rest of eternity. 

Katsuro shot him an assuring smile and patted him on the shoulder, “Father won’t seek for you. We have broken alliances with Kitagawa Daiichi.” 

Before Tooru could say anything, Tatsui butted in. “Don’t worry about it, okay? With the Shiratorizawa alliance, we’ll be fine.” He said. “You should really thank that Ushijima boy. He fought really hard to form this alliance.”

Tooru’s face contorted at the mention of the upcoming Shiratorizawa Clan Leader. He’s met him several times during exchange programs and he didn’t really like that other alpha but he’s grateful. Hell, he’s grateful to anyone who helped him escape. What else could he complain about when he’s no longer bound to a family he loathed and standing on the soil he was born in and one that he cherished? He might have to offer gifts as a thank-you— no, that’s not the priority right now. A smile wide on his face, he tackled his brother and mother with his arms, hugging them tightly as a gesture of gratitude for not letting Kokushi have his way. 

And Tooru’s life changed completely, from an abyss of sadness to a heaven of peace and happiness.

Like as if his years up in the mountains never existed, Tooru chased to keep up with the changes in Seijoh, gawking at each subtle change, from paint jobs to whole renovations and seeing the new kitchen up close, the one he and Hajime first met, made him wish he could see the old kitchen one last time for now it was only a memory– a core memory that would never leave him. The Seijoh management had changed too, some servants during Tooru’s time had left and new faces bowed to him as a greeting, and his eyes burned with tears when he caught sight of the older castle staff that used to take care of him, chase him down the pier and accompany him. They’re older now but they still carried the same look of adoration when they saw the adult version of him, and it made Tooru realise once again that leaving was the perfect choice to make.

Being back on the Main Courtyard sparring with his friends made him feel at ease, laughing wholeheartedly as he stumbled over his feet. He’s rusty with the sword, ever since Kokushi forced more lessons into his everyday schedule, but it was funny to find himself making mistakes in things he usually wouldn’t. Also because he’d be able to see Hajime laughing, his voice like a melody in Tooru’s ears. Swinging swords with Hajime felt like a dance as Tooru tried to pick back the way of the Aoba Johsai clan, forcing himself to drop the style of Kitagawa Daiichi, but he couldn’t stop himself from being mesmerised by the omega, the love of his life, beating the absolute chickens out of him with sheer strength. He loved it and he'd want to do this all day everyday if he could, and he knew Hajime felt the same, an obvious spark of love seen in his green eyes whenever they spar.

At a slight miscalculation in his stance, Tooru tripped and fell over Hajime, who kept him up by his hips, strong enough to stay standing while Tooru’s body weight leaned against him. His heart jolted for their bodies were pressed chest to chest and the alpha let out a giddy giggle.

“Can I kiss you, Iwa-chan?”

Hajime’s eyes momentarily travelled to Tooru’s lips before chuckling. “Stop asking me and kiss me.”

Their friends boo-ed when their lips touched, calling them disgusting and lacking decorum, telling them to get a room, but Tooru and Hajime did not care, not with there were rings on each other’s finger. 

✧✧✧✧ 

Just because Oikawa Tooru was not Clan Leader, it did not mean he did not have any duties. One aspect of his job was to be a representative of Aoba Johsai if his brother was unavailable, and the other being handling requests and proposals of lower priority from the elders and noble families. Occasionally he’d be in the Main Courtyard, helping the High Class disciples hone their combat skills. Today, for example, he’s returning home from a meeting in Date Kogyo, regarding their ongoing agreement to build an alliance. He yawned loudly as he leaned against Shigeru’s shoulder crookedly as they walked, whining that they’re not home yet.

Ever since Tooru left Kitagawa Daiichi, he had been more comfortable in his own skin, to the point where his guard became a victim of his whines and complaints– or what Hajime would bluntly call, his childish behaviour. Shigeru only hummed. It was not that long of a journey, a mere hour walk, but because they had departed early before sunrise, Tooru had been drained of any sort of energy by noon. The sun glared at them weakly as seconds tick by, the alpha grumbling that it’s too hot. It wasn’t hot for an average man from Aoba Johsai but Tooru had lived too long in the harsher winter climates of Kitagawa Daiichi to find the current winter cold.

A relieved groan left Tooru’s lips at the sight of Seijoh from a far distance, the crests resembling water lilies decorating the main gate. His limbs were screaming to lie down in a mess of blankets, his eyelids dying to close and bring him to a good long nap. However, his body had other plans when his stomach growled loudly. It was lunch time, after all. For what seemed like forever, they reached the front gate, showing their identity token before entry.

The loud clunking noises of wood against wood echoed in the Main Courtyard as disciples from the Lower Class practiced their forms with their partners. Shinji was there to guide them, patiently teaching them the right strikes and posture, even if they were going to pick it up much slowly. Shinji was in-charge of training the Lower and Medium Class disciples in the morning and afternoon. On the other hand, the High Class disciples would be schooled by Issei in the evening, and occasionally Tooru when he had the free time. It used to be Hajime leading the class but since a new life had been growing within him, he’d been off. 

Marriage was an interesting change in pace of life. For years, Tooru had yearned to have the love of his life, Hajime by his side and his world had changed ever since. Every morning he would wake up to Hajime’s sleeping face, either on his chest or shoulder. Every night he would have Hajime in his arms or the other way round, him in Hajime’s arms, nodding away to sleep in the quiet of Seijoh. Every meal there would be Hajime by his right and when they’re feeling a little cheekier than usual, their hands would roam up each other’s thighs underneath the tables. Some nights it’ll be them snuggling together to sleep, other nights they’ll be all over each other, their noises of love making slipping out between the gaps of the shoji and into the main corridors of the West Wing. Neighbours (their friends and family) often complain about the noise disturbance, especially during their ruts and heats— or worse, when Hajime’s heat and Tooru’s rut clashed.

A nightmare of sleepless nights, Takahiro complained once as he gulped down a cup of tea with hopes to keep him awake during his duties as Tooru’s right-hand man. 

But marriage was not without its downsides. Tooru and Hajime had argued multiple times, mostly minor and petty. Within the years they were torn apart, the both of them had changed beyond their young teenagers selves. Sometimes Tooru felt like he didn’t know Hajime, the man he’d fallen in love with, especially when they’re in disagreement. It was the same for Hajime, getting frustrated at Tooru’s new behaviours and habits. They’ll resolve these issues eventually, often with the interference of Takahiro and Issei since everyone working in the West Wing would be walking on eggshells when the two got into a quarrel. 

But there was one argument that shook the whole of Seijoh and it had everything to do with Hajime stepping down from his duties as the High Class master.

The two were eight months into their marriage when Hajime collapsed in the middle of teaching. The nurse was nice about it, announcing happily that Hajime was pregnant, which further led to the excitement in Tooru that they’re now having a child. The omega, however, was not entirely thrilled. He kept an emotionless face and held it on even after the nurse left. He controlled his pheromones so Tooru could not detect his distress, while the alpha squealed frantically, his happy pheromones seeping into the air. He stared away out of the window, hands on his lap as thoughts ran through his mind and many were unpleasant. Sighing, he pushed the blanket off his body and was ready to get out of bed to get back to his students when Tooru gently pushed him down, eyes wide.

“Iwa-chan, you should rest now! You shouldn’t be out there yet. You just collapsed!” He exclaimed, face showing worry.

“I’ll be fine. It’s just a minor accident.” Hajime tried to brush it off, despite the lightheadedness he felt.

“No, no no. Rest up and get a good nap. I’ll take over the class.”

The omega couldn’t argue anymore when the lightheadedness grew suddenly, making him lay back down on the bed. It was an unpleasant awakening to know the odd spikes of exhaustion and nausea, accompanied by an annoying headache was the result of his body growing another life. It’s new and would be life changing and Hajime could not bite down that uncertainty bubbling in his chest. He’d like to distract himself and maybe yell at a disciple or two for being in the wrong form but Tooru looked so concerned that he had no other choice but to lie back down to rest. Tooru did not leave immediately, stroking his mate’s hair while releasing soothing pheromones that eventually lulled Hajime to sleep.

Hajime stirred a few hours later, a bit discombobulated from the long nap, his brain not clicking that it’s nighttime. Tooru sat next to him, reading a book with the help of a candle by the tatami mat. It’s quiet, the omega wondered how long into the night he had slept into. It didn’t take long for Tooru to notice his mate was awake, beaming happily at the sight of Hajime and immediately laced his fingers through the older man’s hair.

“You slept for four hours, Iwa-chan. Did you feel better?” Tooru asked, gleaming when Hajime hummed a reply, nuzzling his head into Tooru’s hand like a cat. “You should really take care of yourself, Iwa-chan. I haven’t told anyone about the news. I'll let you decide when to do it.” He said, pushing the blankets off his body. “I’ll get you dinner. You must be starving.”

It was nice to have Tooru dote on him but Hajime found it excessive. Ever since he found out he was pregnant, Tooru did everything he could to make sure Hajime was well rested and not exerting himself. For god’s sake, he was only three weeks in! He could walk, he could run and he could do anything a normal person could do. Yes, he had a few dizzy spells here and there but he insisted he was fine! He’s aware that Tooru was a concerned alpha, definitely aware of what might come— the changes in their live’s routine and Hajime’s body. He’s grateful but it was overbearing. And for days he remained conflicted, because he was both pissed and somewhat appreciative of his mate’s initiative.

But if there was something he was not fine about it was that Tooru had taken over his classes without discussing it with him. He had been cooped up in the residents wing and Tooru had brushed Hajime away when he tried to sneak into the Main Courtyard to meet his students. Unknown to Tooru, who was so deep into taking care of his mate, Hajime was upset. He tried talking it out but Tooru looked so enthusiastic, so sincere and so genuine with his acts of service, that it alone stopped him from talking. So he kept quiet, letting Tooru do what he wanted, just so he wouldn’t make Tooru unhappy.

However, the main issue remained. Hajime had yet to adjust to the news of the developing embryo inside him that would change the course of his life.

He was not ready to watch it change overnight.

For five days, Tooru had returned to their bedroom after his morning duties to a resting Iwaizumi Hajime. On the sixth, he was nowhere to be found. Panicked, alerting Shigeru and Takahiro, he went on a frenzy searching for his mate. His right-hand man had told him not to worry as if Hajime had left Seijoh and went to the streets, he would be notified of it. Yet Tooru couldn’t as his pregnant mate was out there somewhere, not in their bedroom, where he should be. What if something happened to him? Tooru did not want to imagine the worst. Not when he was able to secure Hajime, he couldn’t lose him. Not again. Never .

Eventually after running around the pier, Tooru was able to pick up Hajime’s pheromones, the very scent that his heart yearned for, and followed the trail, with Takahiro catching up with him. He ended up standing in front of their private training pavilion, where Hajime was abusing one of their training dummies.

At a young age of 17, Iwaizumi Hajime outranked the senior disciples without much trouble. He was similar to Tobio, articulate in a large range weaponry but his specialty lay in close combat, lesser on ranged. He defeated his seniors above him with ease, throwing them over his shoulder swiftly without any hardship, making him the youngest in the High Class league. He earned a multitude of harsh glares by his seniors in the process but he could not be bothered to care because who are they to complain when they’re the ones at his feet, defeated. Two years later, Issei joined the High Class with Takahiro, passing over the title of youngest to Issei. However, no matter how many disciples ranked up into the High Class league, Hajime reigned superior with his raw strength for years, earning him the title of Acting Head of Guard after the previous stepped down.

The preposterous speed the training dummies spun at a hit of Hajime’s palm was a demonstration of his power.

“Iwa-chan? What are you doing here?” Tooru called with shock in his voice. “You should be resting!”

He strode his way towards his mate, grabbing Hajime’s arm to pull him to a stop. Confronting Hajime during a bad temper was nothing to Tooru. He’d done it before, gotten yelled at and, guiltily admitting it, he’d also yell back— it’s normal between the two. Yet there was something different about Hajime, something between a mix of rage and betrayal in his green eyes and an awful sourness in Hajime’s pheromones that had diffused into the air.

Hajime controlled himself when he seethed with a glare, “Let me go.”

“No. You should be in our room, resting. You shouldn’t be doing whatever this is.” Tooru insisted, his grip on Hajime’s wrist tightening.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, Tooru.”

“It is my responsibility to protect you and the baby! Why are you so upset about it?” 

Hajime’s eyes twitched as he yanked his hand away from Tooru’s grip. “Protect me?! I do not need protection, Tooru. I am fine by myself, for heaven’s sake! I don’t need you coddling me every second you get!”

“I’m not coddling you! Iwa-chan, what’s wrong with you? You’re carrying a baby! There are things you can and cannot do now.” Tooru argued back, his voice rising a pitch higher as his own pheromones started to fill the air, as his grip on Hajime’s arm tightened. “I can’t have you doing things like this and if you end up injuring yourself, then what am I supposed to do? I can’t lose you when I can stop something!”

“Tooru, I am more than capable of handling myself. I’m only a few weeks in.”

“The more I need you to be careful! Any mistake and you’ll get sick! And… and– I don’t want to think about it.”

“It’s literally fine! You’re coddling me every few seconds. I’m grateful that you care, I’m grateful that you don’t want me hurt but god forbid, I leave our room to do something I like.” Hajime hissed. “Let me do what I want, Tooru. I can’t stay cooped up all day.”

“It’s to protect you.” Tooru repeated.

“I don’t need protection!”

“You do! Why are you so stubborn? Things change! You can’t do everything that you want now. You’re pregnant! Why are you not accepting that?”

Regret washed over him when Hajime’s eyes, that were furiously glaring at him, welled up with tears. Tooru watched when Hajime’s face fell for a split second before recollecting himself, his lip pursed in anger.

“What if I'm not excited about this pregnancy?” Hajime said, his breath barely above a whisper.

That confession hurt . To know his husband was not on the same page as him, Tooru felt his frustration get overtaken by sadness. What kind of alpha was he to not notice the despair in his own mate?  “Was that what had been bothering you these days?” He asked, his shoulders sagging. “You didn’t want this?”

Hajime didn’t answer, nor did he budge.

“Iwa-chan, if you do not want the baby, we can just get rid of it.” Tooru spoke softly, though his own words tasted bitter on his tongue. “We haven’t told anyone, it’s going to be okay.”

Yet Tooru watched as Hajime’s eyes widened, appalled at his suggestion. “No, Tooru, what? I’m not going to do that.” Hajime shook his head, backing a step away. “I just nee–”

“You said you didn’t want to! We can go to Nakamura-san and get some expulsion herbs. In fact we can go right now!” Tooru said, grabbing Hajime’s right hand, tugging it.

Hajime tore his arm away and held his right hand like it burned, scowling. “Who are you to tell me what to do? You don’t get to decide what I want to do. I just need time , Tooru, bloody time to adjust! To accept this thing happening within me! I don’t need you breathing down my neck, making decisions for me as if I don’t have a choice!” Hajime pleaded angrily, his voice loud and his breath shaky, as the tears that brimmed his eyes finally fell. 

“This is what’s best for you! You don’t have to suffer all this if you don’t want it. We don’t have to waste time! If you don’t want me, we’ll get rid of it.”

“Goodness, Tooru! I can make my own choices so stop it! You can’t just pull me out from being a High Class master anytime you see fit! I’m the Acting Head of Guard, Tooru. And now you’re going to drag me to kill a child I have yet to comprehend? Who are you to make choices for me?! You’re just like your father!”

It was said that if a person’s hurt, when they’re not careful, they’ll hurt others. 

Tooru’s heart stung and his blood ran cold. That was the lowest Hajime could have done, and Hajime did it anyway. He’s hurt that Hajime compared him to Kokushi, the one man he’d despised for years in his life, but he couldn’t even deny it. He was deliberately making choices for Hajime without discussing it, as if Hajime never had the option to think for himself. As a man who hated how Kokushi brought him up, controlling his every will, he was doing the exact same thing his father was doing. All because he was scared of losing Hajime. First, by making sure Hajime didn’t get close to any strenuous activity that would hurt him, and subsequently, forcing Hajime to eliminate a life— because what if Hajime left him after that? Operating on his subconscious fears, he failed to see Hajime’s struggles. He’d really want to think he wasn’t acting like his father.

Yet there was some truth behind that accusation and it hurt.

Tooru’s hands fell to his sides, defeatedly as he felt the back of his eyes burn. He let out a battered breath before looking away from his mate, his jaw tight. 

“Do what you want. I won’t stop you.” He said lowly before turning on his heels and striding towards the exit where Takahiro waited for him. He faced his right-hand man and whispered, “He’s all yours. Don’t come to me about him unless he asks for me.”

And Tooru left, Takahiro rushing into the private training pavilion. He walked away at such great speed because he needed to run away. He didn’t know how Hajime stood in the middle of the pavilion, fists clenched together tight that his knuckles turned white, tears silently streaming down his face while alarmingly distressing pheromones filled the air. He didn’t know how Hajime’s angry facade broke down when Takahiro appeared, clutching onto Takahiro’s yukata as he soaked the other omega’s clothes with his tears. Guilt weighed down on Tooru as he returned to his study because what kind of mate was he to leave his pregnant omega alone? Especially when he’s in such distress?

But Tooru was confused with himself, given a shocking revelation that he was nothing different than his father, and hurt by Hajime’s words. 

He plopped onto his chair and stared lifelessly at the stack of papers before him, picking one up only for his vision to be clouded by tears again, silent sobs escaping his lips as he hung his head low. Tooru wanted to go back, hug his mate, apologize to Hajime while on his knees– but he could not face Hajime right now. He took in one deep breath, wiping the tears with the sleeve of his kimono when Shigeru joined him.

“Yahaba.” He called, his personal guard nodding in acknowledgement. “If Hajime doesn’t show up for tonight’s High Class, send Matsukawa as a replacement. If Hajime pulls out of the program, Matsukawa will lead from then on.”

From that day onwards, the tension between the newly married couple was known to everyone. No one dared to bring it up, not even Katsuro, the Clan Leader. Even disciples had gotten a crumb of it, whispering to one another during breaks, wondering what had happened. Hajime and Tooru had been acting out their roles as per normal– Hajime barking orders to slacking High Class disciples while Tooru carried out his duties, but what was not normal were them passing by one another without a single glance or look towards each other. 

For the first time, Takahiro and Issei felt like this was a problem they could not fix, with both sides barely budging. The couple hadn’t slept with each other for days, sleeping in their own rooms and the poor servants had to deal with a depressed Tooru and a grumpy Hajime every morning. During meals, they would not talk, as if their partner on their side never existed. Takahiro had tried to talk it out with Hajime, same with Issei to Tooru but the both of them were ridiculously stubborn about talking to one another again. 

“I give up.” Takahiro grumbled into the pillow, after tucking in Akane to sleep. “This is not my marriage to worry about.” 

Issei sighed. “How are you feeling, Hiro?” He asked, climbing into the bed. 

“Horrible. Iwaizumi has been releasing stressed pheromones for days now, I swear it’s getting to me too.” 

“Hm.”

“But the thing is I get him! I really do! You literally knocked me up at 19, of course, I’m gonna understand how he’s feeling with his own pregnancy but gosh it is so hard to talk through him. Sometimes I regret having him help me. All he remembers is me suffering when I was pregnant with Akane.” Takahiro sulked at the bitter memory. “He wants to be with Oikawa. He yearns to be with Oikawa. I know he does but he’s just confused and angry right now. I wish I could help them the same way he helped me, Issei.”

“Same here. There is this longing look on Oikawa’s face when he sees Iwaizumi. Well, I guess we can only give them time.” Issei said, pulling Takahiro into an embrace. “We can only support them as friends.”

And they did give them time, a little bit too much time because one can say three weeks was a long time that Hajime was slowly starting to show underneath the thin cloth of his clothes. At some point, almost everyone knew that the couple was expecting but with the tension in the air, no one dared to bring it up, let alone congratulate them. 

Every morning Tooru would wake up alone in bed, his servants waiting patiently outside his room, ready to dress him up for the day. It’s painful to be in this situation, especially when he’d been waking up to the slumbering face of Hajime, but gritting his teeth, he’d rationalise and tell himself that he’d been through worse back in Kitagawa Daiichi. And at the same time, he told himself he caused all of this to happen, so he has to suck it up and go on with life.

Today was no different of a morning as the servants perfected his kimono while Shigeru stood guard, reciting his schedule that Takahiro had prepared for him. Tooru hummed at each task, lifelessly watching as one of the servants fumbled with the fold of his kimono. It would be another boring day, doing tasks his brother found trivial.  It was. Tooru spent his day inside his study, reading through proposals, letters and invitations, and resisting feeling the urge to tear his hair out when Shiratorizawa’s Clan Leader demanded an audience with Katsuro in two days' time. That old man can screw himself over for all Tooru cares about so he sent the letter away to Katsuro’s right-hand-man, deciding that this is not his problem to deal with.

The skies were painted a beautiful pink and orange when Tooru left his study, his shoulders aching and his right hand throbbing, hoping that tomorrow would be less indoors and he’d be more happier walking down the streets of Aoba Johsai doing visits than whatever today was. Tooru’s tired steps softly thudded against the wooden planks of Seijoh as he walked towards the Residence Wing, to get a change of clothes for dinner when he noticed a certain voice coming from the Main Courtyard.

Eyebrows furrowed with confusion, Tooru let himself walk towards the Main Courtyard where the High Class disciples were concluding their training when he was met with a pair of eyes that were not green, but dark ones that belonged to Matsukawa Issei. Where was Hajime? He shot a questioning gaze at his friend who only shrugged as a response. It had always been Hajime leading the High Class for the past three weeks, with no break so Tooru couldn’t help but worry because where else could he be.

Fear ran through his veins as he ran, his feet stomping against the planks while Shigeru struggled to follow him but Tooru could care less for his guard. The closer he got into the Residence Wing, the stronger his uneasiness became. His nose seeked for one scent, Hajime’s pheromones as he stepped into the West Wing, hoping to find it when he was met with two, one that was his mate’s and another belonging to Takahiro. So Tooru followed the trail, his heart thumping against his chest, his breathing laboured as he took a turn to the private training pavilion, the same place he and Hajime had argued.

However, his overwhelming worries overweighed his pride and ego when he burst through the door.

The pavilion was reorganised with the training equipment, the dummy included, placed to the sides where Takahiro was standing, leaning against the walls, leaving the middle space empty. And there in the middle stood Hajime, staring back at him, with an incomprehensible look on his face. There was a bow in his hands, a quiver filled with arrows slung against his lower body. There was a target at the other end of the pavilion where a net was set behind it to protect any stray arrows from falling into the lake, and a depressing sight of fallen arrows around it, the target itself designed with a pattern of haphazardly pierced arrows.

No words came out of Tooru’s mouth as he tried to comprehend his environment because one, never he had seen anyone utilise a private pavilion as an archery training field and two, why was Hajime holding a bow and arrow? His eyes fell back on Hajime, whose Adam’s apple bobbed when he gulped.

Hajime was first to break the awkward silence. “I thought I could practice on my ranged skills. I’ve been rusty… and it’s safer for the baby.” He muttered the last part softly, hoping Tooru would miss it.

He didn’t. 

Tooru slowly walked up to Hajime, his mate that he’d not talked to for the past few weeks, his hands conflicted by his sides because his heart yearned to hold onto Hajime, pull him into a hug, then apologise and apologise and apologise and apologise for leaving him alone during a hard time. Hajime had finally accepted the pregnancy, something that he had been avoiding to accept like plague and Tooru desperately wanted to hold him.

“I’m sorry. I was being selfish. I’ve said hurtful things to you and I’m really sorry, Tooru.” Hajime whispered, looking away as he tightened his grip on his bow. “I didn't mean to compare you to your father.”

“No, Hajime, I- I’m sorry too. I didn’t think this would be hard on you and I left you alone during a difficult time. I was so stupid, all I cared about was what I think was best for you. I… I shouldn’t have done any of that, Hajime. I–  Hajime, how have you been?” Tooru asked, his heart heavy of emotions and it shattered when Hajime bit his trembling lips.

“I don’t like it. My body aches, my back hurts and I get tired so often. I can’t get through my day like this.” Hajime’s voice was barely above a whisper and there was a wobble in his tone.  “I’m so stupid for holding a grudge like this. I should have been more understanding. I.. I really needed you, Tooru. I can’t do this pregnancy alone.”

“I’m really really sorry for leaving you.” Tooru whispered, reaching up for Hajime with trembling hands. “Can I hold you, Hajime?”

“Yes, Tooru, please . Hold me tight.”

It was warm. Hajime was warm , so warm in Tooru’s arms and heavens, he’d missed this, buried in his mate’s hair, breathing in his pheromones that smelt troubled but was slowly overtaken by relief and safety. And the floodgates broke, hot tears streaming down Tooru’s face as he apologised for not being there for Hajime, for not being understanding, for not being a good mate, for being a bad alpha. He felt his kimono dampen near his shoulder as he repeated ‘I’m so sorry’ like a mantra, holding Hajime tight in his arms, not wanting to let go.

Nevertheless Tooru did let go, but only to caress Hajime’s face, to stare into those green eyes that were glossed with tears. He missed this beautiful man staring back at him, let it be morning or night and he found himself drowning in a sea of green, the sea that he had loved for years. He heard a soft clutter of wood against wood when Hajime dropped the bow to hold Tooru’s hands, Hajime melting into his touch and god, Tooru couldn’t believe he dared hurt his mate.

“I’m so sorry, Iwa-chan. Will you forgive me?” Tooru asked, sniffling.

“I forgive you. Now hold me, please. Tooru, I beg you, please, hold me. I’ve missed you.”

While Takahiro did not appreciate seeing the reconciled couple kiss in front of his eyes, he was relieved that they had made up. Hajime was not an open person as he thought he was, bottling up his worries and emotions and it took so long for Takahiro to assure the pregnant omega that everything will be okay, as long as Tooru was there for him. Sighing and slipping his hands into his pockets, Takahiro moved away from the pavilion quietly, leaving the two in each other’s embrace.

Tooru should be thanking Takahiro (and Issei) because only god knows what he’ll become if the argument was prolonged any longer.

Tooru entered his room, announcing his presence with a loud high-pitched “Iwa-chan~” , arms raised high in the air enthusiastically as Hajime came into sight, holding an arrow he’d been mending. Hajime had been practicing his archery during his free time and he was getting much better at it, and Tooru was proud. Yes, Hajime had slipped under his supervision and sparred with a sword occasionally but Tooru could close an eye on that. Giggling, he approached his mate from the back, wrapping his arms around his waist, his hands gently touching the bump.

“You’re back.” Hajime said coolly, turning his focus back on the arrow. 

“You could be at least happier to see me.” Tooru pouted, craning his neck to see Hajime’s face. “Are you not?”’

A soft smile formed on the omega’s lips as he scoffed, patting Tooru’s head. “Of course, I am happy to see you. Except I had to sleep late and had my sleep interrupted when you had to leave before the sun rose for your duties.” He said, putting down the arrow on a nearby table. “Anyways, Tobio gave us this before he left.”

A small box wrapped in a soft shade of cyan was fished out of Hajime’s pocket. “Oh? What’s inside?” Tooru asked, curious as he rested his chin on Hajime’s shoulder.

“I haven’t opened it. I was waiting for you.”

“Aw, Iwa-chan is so cute waiting for me~”

“Say that one more time and I’ll chuck this into the lake.”

Though Tooru knew Hajime wouldn’t dare, he let out a nervous laugh, murmuring a ‘sorry’ under his breath before pressing a soft kiss on his mate’s cheek. He wouldn’t dare anger a pregnant omega, especially when Hajime was nearing his second trimester. The backaches were the worst for Hajime and had persisted for many weeks now, which is not normal but what else could Hajime do except endure it? Tooru could do the least by not making his omega’s life harder.

An identical pair of white flower knot tassels sat in the opened box, two marble beads on each, one cyan and the other gold. Underneath the tassels was a silk napkin, its design an intricate drawing of water lilies and koi fish that shone under the sunlight that crept through their window. Tooru watched as Hajime picked a tassel up to eye level, inspecting it carefully in his hand.

“It’s beautiful.” 

He heard Hajime whisper and his lips curled into a smile when Hajime unconsciously released another bunch of pheromones, telling Tooru how content he was. Tooru would tease his mate if he would but Hajime had softened so easily over a gift from his brother-in-law, he bit his tongue and nuzzled his nose into Hajime’s neck. 

“Hm, like you, Iwa-chan.” 

✧✧✧✧ 

Oikawa Tooru would like to formally apologise to all the people in Seijoh that he had troubled in his baby days. He’s fully aware of the difficulties he had placed on their shoulders, especially the servants appointed to take care of him because his two sons had apparently taken after him. They had just turned two and had turned into absolute menaces. Tatsui had called them mini-Toorus, not only because they both were a carbon copy of him (excluding the eye color) but with how they had captivated hearts as well as created chaos.

“Get back here!” He yelped, chasing Masaru who giggled when his father tripped over his own feet, before running his way out of the nursery. 

Minoru, who had a handful of Akira’s hair, laughed as well at his father’s misery. “Baba, fell!” He exclaimed, pointing at Tooru. “Baba fell!”

“Yes, your dad fell.” Akira acknowledged, slowly prying Minoru’s fingers from his hair. “Babe, can you help me?”

Yutaro was by his mate’s side in a heartbeat, ignoring the complaints from their lord, who haphazardly got back on his feet to chase Masaru. Today was the day they’ll be travelling to Kitagawa Daiichi for Tobio’s wedding and they were an hour late to their scheduled departure, even though more than half of the group were ready, and that included the twins. The only one yet to dress was Tooru and Hajime. If it wasn’t for the twins so suddenly proclaiming they were hungry, Hajime wouldn’t be hogged for an extra hour simply feeding them. The parents were seriously starting to consider weaning the kids off soon. They’re getting bigger and what were the chances Hajime spouted another child one day— or maybe Tooru just didn’t like how clingy the twins were to a pair of body parts that Tooru used to have full access to.

Tooru whined when Masaru escaped his grasp again, looking at his guard in despair. “Yahaba, take care of Masaru for me. I need to get ready” He asked, who received a nod of acknowledgement from Shigeru before the said man went to chase the child.

Sighing, Tooru walked towards their bedroom, groaning inside when he realised that they will be reaching Kitagawa Daiichi after sunset. That would not be a good thing since they have a pair of twins to walk up the stairs with. He opened the shoji and his eyes fell on his husband, his beautiful mate, Iwaizumi Hajime, only in his lower undergarment, standing at the end of the room, whose eyebrows knitted with focus as he untangled the strings of the tassel. It was the tassel Tobio gifted them two years ago which had some reason decided to dance around one another, leaving it with a large tangled mess.

Tooru loved seeing Hajime like this, his upper body exposed for him to see. Hajime had temporarily abandoned all sorts of other training since he got pregnant but there was one he didn’t and it was archery. Focusing a lot on arm strength, his arms remained as muscular as ever, making Tooru drool at the sight of his mate’s arm. However, that was pretty much the only thing that stayed the same as the rest of Hajime’s body softened. Tooru loved seeing Hajime’s flabby tummy and breasts, making him feel like a giddy teenager seeing that amount of fat on him. 

Oh and he loved how Hajime didn’t hide them anymore. He used to be insecure of his new body— too much fat, he said— but Tooru, who instead lusted this new figure on Hajime, did not allow Hajime to dwell too much with his bodily insecurities. Not to forget Takahiro who was very assuring as well, proudly showing his stretch marks as he stepped out of the lake after a good swim. Over time, Hajime knew Tooru would love him aside from the muscular build Tooru knew for the longest time of his life, and sometimes he’d think that Tooru preferred his current body more. It seemed like Tooru couldn’t keep his hands off his body now. Tooru walked up to his mate and wrapped his arms around Hajime’s waist, kissing the mating mark at the back of Hajime’s neck.

“What do you want?’ Hajime grumbled, not tearing his eyes away from the tangled tassel. “If you’re not going to help me, go and dress up. We are late.”

“Iwa-chan, you look so delicious.” Tooru whispered against Hajime’s ear, grinning when the omega shuddered under his touch. “All I can think of right now is throw you on the bed and breed you all day.”

Heat rushed up Hajime’s cheeks and before he could reply, a monotone deep voice from the entrance of the room that belonged to no one but Hanamaki Takahiro spoke: “Please don’t. We need to be out as soon as we can.” 

Tooru laughed when Hajime elbowed him to let him go, yelling at Takahiro to close the door Tooru had forgotten to close shut. The other omega only grinned, shutting the shoji and leaving the couple alone in the room. Hajime was blushing furiously from his face to his neck, as he put on the rest of his undergarments, grumbling under his breath. Tooru smiled and left a soft peck on Hajime’s cheek before grabbing his own clothes, not without stealing glances on his husband who speedily put on the rest of his kimono.

Words couldn’t describe how beautiful Hajime was in his eyes that his legs unconsciously walked him towards his now fully dressed mate, gently grabbing Hajime by the chin, pressing his lips against his, humming when Hajime deepened the kiss, grabbing Tooru’s kimono with a soft sigh. It’s been 22 years since he’d first seen Hajime, 12 years since he’d fallen in love with Hajime and more years to come to continue to love Hajime— and Tooru still wanted more and more of Hajime and never ever will he get sick of Hajime.

“Fu- A-Ah! Tooru, we need to-.” Hajime whispered, pulling away from the kiss only for the alpha to kiss him back.

“Shh. Let me indulge in you a bit.”

“No indulging! Come on, you have to go!” Takahiro interrupted from outside the door.

Reluctantly, Tooru did let go of Hajime, grumbling and whining with a pout on his face. Hajime, who was red seconds ago, only chuckled, shoving one of the tassels into his hands to attach to his kimono. Eventually the group did leave Seijoh for Kitagawa Daiichi, the carriage carrying the parents and the twins, while the rest rode on horses. It was a large group to bring for a wedding but it couldn’t be helped when they were bringing two menaces along, who needed to be watched by four people, their parents and Akira and Yutaro, the two men Minoru and Masaru listened to… for some reason.

Back to the main point, Oikawa Tooru wondered if the birth of the twins and their behavioural growth was a punishment for him because they would not sit still at all. Hajime could shut them up with a hearty meal but that would only last a few good minutes before they become restless. The ride to Kitagawa Daiichi would be 9 hours non-stop, but with the wise advice given by Takahiro, they’ll be taking two breaks, increasing the trip’s duration by an hour. Tooru wasted no time draining the twins’ energy by letting them play around at the pitstop so they could sleep for the rest of the journey.

At the end, it took not only the twins’ energy but also Tooru’s and Hajime’s… and the other adults except for Shigeru. The parents were knocked out in the carriage, holding their kids in their arms while the adults outside suffered, trying to stay awake on their horses. The silence was comfortable as they made their way to the mountains. Tooru was first to stir awake among the four, stretching his sore limbs, smiling at how Masaru was cuddled against him, despite the tingling in his arm. The sun had started to set when they reached the foot of the mountain, leaving the horse and carriage to a stable specially set by the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. 

The twins were wrapped into a carrier on Akira and Yutaro’s backs, snoring peacefully in the comfort and warmth of the betas. Tooru looked up at the flight of stairs, a little nervous to be back again. The last time he came by was during Tobio’s ascension and that was a touch-and-go visit, spending less than an hour in the Recesses before leaving. For the next two days he’ll be staying in the Recesses as a guest, the place that created too many bad memories. While the guest rooms were separate from the Kageyama Residence, Tooru wished that he wouldn't have to bump into anyone, especially his father, the very man who made his life a living hell. 

“Tooru? You with me?” Hajime said, taking his hand and squeezing it.

Tooru gulped, the uneasiness barely fading, letting out a shaky breath. “I don’t know. To stay here for a long time... ” He mumbled, turning to look at his mate. “Scent me, Iwa-chan.”

And Hajime did, pressing his nose against Tooru’s neck, leaving a layer of his omegan pheromones to relax his distressed alpha. It felt like years ago, where Hajime would scent Tooru before sending him away for the weekdays, leaving Tooru in a state of calm for a good few days until Hajime’s pheromones wore off. Breathing in his omega’s scent nearby, Tooru told himself that he’ll be fine as Tobio had taken over as Clan Leader and Kokushi had practically no power within Kitagawa Daiichi. But Tooru was raised in a Kitagawa Daiichi run by Kageyama Kokushi and those haunted memories have always remained. Memories of him fighting against his father’s path, memories of him being defeated by his father’s plan, memories of him being alone… except he’s no longer alone now.

Hajime, Takahiro, Shigeru, Akira, Yutaro. They’re all here with him. Hell, even these nuisances of his spawns were by his side. 

Smiling as he took one long inhale of Hajime’s scent, he whispered to himself: “Yes, I’m not alone.”

Chapter Text

Needless to say, Kitagawa Daiichi did bring Tooru bad memories. The clematis crests on the stairwell did not bring Tooru any sense of peace or comfort, let alone the nostalgia people would normally feel when they visit home. Except this was never his home, more of a prison than home. A prison where Tooru was bound within the walls, without the ability to be free with everything taken away from him, all in the command of his father. Nonetheless, he walked into the Recesses with his chest tight, bowing and smiling to the staff that greeted them at the entrance.

They must have seen him before– in class, during training, the halls of the Recesses– maybe when he tumbled out of his father’s study with the worst bruises he ever had. Tooru knew they’re doing their duties, greeting guests and escorting them to their rooms, but a thought continued to gnaw at the back of his head. Those eyes.. were they scrutinising him? Were they judging him? 

How can he, Oikawa Tooru, once Kageyama Tooru, that was banned from the Recesses, step into the lands that he betrayed?

Even though Tobio removed the ban a week after his ascension, those eyes.. what were they? What do they mean? Why are you looking at me?

He let his worries drown him as Hajime hooked his arm with his, releasing a soft stream of his pheromones to calm him down. It wasn’t working, however, as he followed the staff with his legs moving on auto-pilot, his eyes frantically looking around cause nothing actually changed. The place had been the same. No renovations and everything in the Recesses were the same the way he left them. 

“Here are your rooms, Oikawa-dono.” The staff informed after opening the doors to their temporary residence, handing over a key. “We can draw warm baths for you, if you’d like.”

A bath would be nice. His body was aching. The warm water would relax his muscles, calm his mind, maybe get rid of all the ugly thoughts running through his mind before he shows up for the wedding tomorrow. Only then he’d be probably interrogated, questioned without any care for his wellbeing and scrutinised for his presence. The other Clan Leaders probably won’t care but the elders, the noble families, his father– they’re all going to be there. 

What am I doing here, really? Tooru thought. I shouldn’t be here. Why am I making myself suffer? Just… why? 

“That’ll be nice. Thank you.” Hajime replied as he took the key, when Tooru did not respond to the staff’s offer. The staff left, the group entered, and that was when Hajime looked at the others and gave them a command, “I’m going to spend time with Tooru alone for the rest of the night. I’ll call Shigeru if we need anything. Akira, Yuutarou, you know what to do with the twins.”

“Yes, Hajime-san.” 

“Thank you.”

Tooru’s focus was still fuzzy, letting Hajime drag him towards one of the rooms, with little to no consideration to his surroundings. He did not notice how Hajime sat him down at the edge of the futon and took off his haori. A pair of soft plush lips pressed against his and Tooru melted into the kiss, Hajime’s hands carding through his hair, because this felt too nice, so much better than what it was ten minutes ago.

“Tooru.”

“Iwa-chan.”

“Look at me, love.”

Gentle eyes met Tooru’s and it was then when Tooru finally snapped out of his disconnected reality, his breath hitched at the sight of his husband. “I– Did something happen?”

“You weren’t focused. You’re zoning out.” Hajime said calmly, talking like Tooru was in a fragile state in which he was. Any sort of joke or banter might break him apart right now. “You weren’t responding to anyone, Tooru.”

“Oh. Was I?”

“Yes. We’re alone now. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong? Is there something bothering you, Tooru?”

Everything. Everything was bothering him. Standing in the lands that destroyed him was killing him inside. Hajime’s warm hands cupped his face. With only a small lit candle at the bedside, there was nothing else for him to see except his omega who was holding his face gently. He wanted it to be like this for the next upcoming days. He didn’t want to walk further into the Recesses, seeing places that burnt a bad memory into his life. He just wanted to be here, in this room, with Hajime and no one else.

But Tooru had to face the music. He ran away and defected from his clan. He can't escape the questions, nor could he escape the piercing judgemental eyes of members of the clan. His fate was sealed the second he left that one night for Aoba Johsai and he knew no matter what Tobio would try to do to fix his reputation, this was written for him. Distrust among the men of Kitagawa Daiichi.

He should not care, he knew he shouldn’t, especially when he had no affiliation to the clan anymore. Yet it had left a mark on him. This place that had not welcomed him since the day he first came here, would never welcome him until the day he dies.

“Iwa-chan.” A small pout appeared on Tooru’s lips when he grabbed Hajime by the hips, pulling him for a bone-crushing hug, sighing at the comfort of his husband’s arms. “Can we not go out? I want to stay here forever.” He mumbled, his voice muffled as he buried his face into Hajime’s tummy.

He heard Hajime’s light chuckle. “You can’t, you big baby. We have to go home.”

“I didn’t mean literally.” Tooru whined, his lips trembling. “I just don’t want to go out.”

Hajime sighed and stroked his husband’s hair. “I know, I know. Let’s get a warm bath first then we can talk about whether you want to leave for dinner or not, okay?”

A loud high pitched laughter could be heard next door. Tooru looked at Hajime with a questioning glance. “Was that the twins?”

“Akira and Yuutarou are handling them. Now let’s lie down until the servants come to draw the bath for us.”

Hajime was warm. In the chill temperature of Kitagawa Daiichi, cuddling up against Hajime was the best thing he could do right now, his nose buried into Hajime’s hair. It reminded him of the days when they were teenagers, snuggling with one another every winter. Hajime, known for his low tolerance for cold among the four friends, was easily tucked in his arms, burying his face into the alpha’s chest, purring at the warmth Tooru gave out. It’s perfect and right now, he seeked the similar comfort of being snuggled against Hajime.

Tooru didn’t want to do anything aside from lying down with his husband, taking in Hajime’s comforting pheromones. Throughout his years in Kitagawa Daiichi, only his grandfather’s was all he found comfort in. His father’s scent repulsed him, so was his step-mother’s. And do not get him started with Tobio. He hated how “alpha-like” Tobio smelt, everything in Tobio’s pheromones screamed power, dominance and so alpha. Though Tooru couldn’t smell himself, he knew at some point, backed by his father’s constant nagging of how un-alpha-like he was, he didn’t smell just as alpha as Tobio did.

And it hurt his feelings, to not be what he was supposed to be.

If it wasn’t for Hajime assuring him that he smelt perfectly fine, similar to any other alpha in his vicinity, he would have held onto that hatred until now with Tooru’s competitive tendencies. He felt his eyes weigh down on him, exhausted by the flight of stairs, relaxed in Hajime’s bubble of pheromones, and he let himself drift away to sleep in the comfort of his omega’s arms.

He didn’t know how long he slept but he knew he slept well enough to wake up fresh, with Hajime himself snoozing deeply on his chest, drooling onto the cloth of his kimono. Not wanting to wake his beloved up, Tooru stared up onto the ceiling. He’s feeling a lot better now, definitely through the magic of being surrounded by Hajime’s pheromones, so he wondered. What would his life be if he dragged Hajime along to Kitagawa Daiichi? Life would be manageable, even under the scrutiny of Kokushi but Tooru frowned at the thought that followed. 

Hajime was not a conventional omega. Kokushi would make his life as terribly difficult as his. Tooru sighed. Hajime’s happiness laid in Aoba Johsai, making friends with Issei and Takahiro, training kenjutsu, while patiently waiting for Tooru to come home, even if at some point all was lost and he held onto pathetic hope. He wouldn’t dare take it away from Hajime. He leaned his cheek against the top of his omega’s and closed his eyes once more. There was no point of ‘What If’s anymore. He’s happily married, bound to the love of his life, and that was all he could ever wish for.

“Iwa-chan, I love you.” He muttered softly, nuzzling his nose into Hajime’s brown hair, ready to fall asleep again.

“I love you too.”

“You’re awake?!” Tooru screeched, pushing off his omega in surprise.

Hajime snorted, peeling open his eyes. “I’ve been wanting to pee, Tooru. It’s so cold here.” He complained, his teeth lightly chattering. “I really need that bath.”

The warm bath was drawn and the two men sat in the tub, soaking themselves, Hajime seated in between Tooru’s thighs, facing his alpha as he washed the area underneath Tooru’s neck. They bathed in silence, only interrupted by the gentle sloshes of water while Hajime worked his fingers onto Tooru’s taut muscles. The man had been notably tense since they left Seijoh, not looking forward to staying overnight in the place he hated all his life. Tooru was just glad he had Hajime to take care of him, for Hajime was his pillar in case he fell apart, unable to handle the resurfacing memories of his past. 

Hajime, on the other hand, felt useless, unable to protect and save the one he loved from abusive hands of Kageyama Kokushi years ago and now, the effects of the evil old man. He couldn’t do much other than give Tooru support, shower him with pheromones and scent him to make him feel at ease. He would never not feel pathetic when Tooru fell into his episodes of anxiety, only putting his biology and words to use. He felt like he needed to do more, as his omega and husband and he hated it when that’s all he could do. He had no control then, why couldn’t he have any more control now?

“Iwa-chan?”

“Hm?”

“Tomorrow, if I can’t take the crowd, will you join me on a walk to get away from the people there?” Tooru asked, his lips in a pout, a droopy expression caught on his face. 

Hajime pressed a kiss on the corner of the alpha’s right eye. “Of course. Why would I not? I don’t even know anyone else besides you and your brothers.”

“Thanks, Iwa-chan.” Tooru smiled weakly, closing his eyes for Hajime to place another kiss on the other eye. “You’re the best.”

“… It’s not a big deal, Tooru. I’ll be there for you, I promise.”

And Hajime didn’t break that promise.

As the wedding was held in the Clematis Pavilion rather than the Main Hall, it was a slightly smaller range of invites than when Tobio ascended as Clan Leader. Yet, Tooru was not excited to step into the Clematis Pavilion at all, already feeling uneasy from passing by men and women of Kitagawa Daiichi, let alone walking into a room of well-known Clan Leaders and their people, those who knew of his defection. Hajime squeezed Tooru’s hand as they walked towards the direction of the Pavilion, trailing silently behind the servant dedicated to them, the twins talking enthusiastically to each other while in Yuutarou’s and Akira’s arms. They entered the Pavilion without an announcement, as requested by Tooru, to which Tobio accepted without much consideration, settling behind their dedicated tables as the crowd bustled with life.

At one glance, anyone could tell who were the Kitagawa Daiichi clan and who wasn’t. The contrast of prim and proper conduct to boisterous laughter was the biggest factor of all, besides the color of their attire. Hajime hadn’t seen much of Kitagawa Daiichi but the looks of disgust, judgemental eyes and tense body language was enough to tell him where they belonged. That alone made him displeased at the sight of them. With the external guests and the Kitagawa Daiichi clan sitting across from each other, the more Hajime looked at them, the more agitated he became because what was the benefit of holding a disgusted expression every time the guests acted loudly?

“Goodness, just looking at them makes me want to smack the lights out of them.” Hajime whispered to Akira who sat behind him, gesturing with his chin. “Pretentious pricks.”

Akira nodded. “I share the same sentiment. I used to work with them.”

Tooru didn’t let go of Hajime’s hand for the longer he sat in that pavilion, the greater the suffocation that crawled back to him. His fears talked, whispered in his ears, reminding him the history of his life, the moment he ran away— it’s exhausting. If it wasn’t for Hajime’s hand holding his ground, he would have spiralled into another episode of anxiety. Hajime traced his palms under the table as a constant reminder that he was there. His brother Katsuro sat in front of them, the face of the Aoba Johsai clan, and was talking to everyone who approached him, like a good clan leader he was. 

“Hey Hey Hey!” 

A young man in Fukurodani colors strode towards them, followed by a very beautiful omega, bumping his chest in enthusiasm as he greeted them. Katsuro stood from his seat and gave a small bow as a greeting.

“Ah, Clan Leader Bokuto-dono, Akaashi-dono. It’s nice meeting you two again.”

It was a continuous cycle of strong powerful men and women approaching Katsuro, while sending Tooru and Hajime a mere nod of acknowledgement which they nodded in return. It seemed like most of them knew something, especially behind the soft blue eyes from Fukurodani’s Akaashi Keiji and sharp observant ones from Nekoma’s Kenma Kozume, and Tooru would assume it had something to do with his defection, maybe someone leaked the story of his ‘bright’ childhood. They didn’t mention anything, simply keeping their primary attention away from him and to his brother. 

Tooru was content that it was how it was, not being fully addressed and hidden. With the amount of eyes of his former clan watching him, he was more than grateful for his brother’s shadow. It was such a drastic change to who he was when he was a child, preening under the attention showered upon him, happy that there were eyes on him and only him. But right now he preferred to be small, away from anything under the sun that would curse him. 

It whispered to him. 

They’re watching you. 

His heart raced. He panickedly looked around. Eyes, too many eyes, stared at him. 

They’ve always been watching you.

Tooru’s throat started to close in on him. It was a reckless decision to accept the wedding invitation. He could have been safe within his abode, far away from those piercing eyes that destroyed his soul.

They’ll watch you forever. Just like how Father watched you.

A tight firm squeeze on his hand and Tooru tore his attention away from the crowd, turning to his right to see Masaru, who had somehow escaped from Yuutarou’s watch, throw a tantrum on Hajime’s lap, desperate to get his feed of the day. 

“Tooru.” 

At Hajime’s voice, his tense shoulders relaxed. It was like he had forgotten that he was no longer affiliated with Kitagawa Daiichi, and no matter how many eyes watched him, how many mouths talked about him and how he acted from the day he defected would not affect the clan in any way. So he scooted closer, abandoning all he’s learnt about the ideal Kitagawa etiquette, dropping the attempted strong dominant alpha facade he put up, and leaned his head on Hajime’s shoulder.

“Mama, I’m hungryy...” Masaru complained, shoving his face into Hajime’s chest. 

“Patience.” Hajime scolded softly, tapping the boy’s hand, and Masaru whined, grabbing a fistful of Hajime’s haori. He turned to his alpha and pressed a soft peck on Tooru’s head. “Don’t look at them. Eyes on us, Tooru.” He whispered, lightly scenting him at a distance.

Tooru’s throat let out a low whine. “Thank you.” 

He watched as Masaru’s face scrunched tight with frustration, seconds away from crying. The cold had made the twins hungry faster, wanting to cuddle into their mother’s warmth while suckling on for comfort. Minoru, as if sensing his brother’s distress, started wriggling in Akira’s arms, his chubby arms reaching out for Hajime. The omega sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. A thick, noticeably longer haori appeared in his line of sight.

“Please, don’t be too worried to feed your sons here.” Miwa extended her arm, a smile on her face, as she urged with her eyebrows for Hajime to take the haori. “It’s completely fine.”

Tooru raised his head off Hajime’s shoulder as Hajime readjusted himself to cover Masaru with another layer of haori. “Miwa.”

“Tooru-san.” The woman greeted back with a small nod, waving at Minoru who looked at her with wide eyes. “It’s been a while. How have you been?”

“I’ve been good so far. How about you?”

Miwa snickered. “I’ve always been fine. I thrive doing things behind Father’s back. He still doesn’t know what went wrong. He’s an idiot.” She said with a giggle. 

“Father.. Is he not coming?” He asked, eyeing the empty table beside his stepmother.

Miwa sighed. “Tobio invited him but he refused to attend the wedding. You know how Father is, he just couldn’t stand being in front of people who knew what ‘failure’ of an alpha he raised.”

“That’s awful.”

“He’s always awful. When exactly had he been a good father?”

Tooru hummed with understanding. The table meant for Kokushi was empty and it seemed like it would remain empty with the old man’s ultimate hatred of being associated with his ‘failed’ children. He sighed in relief. At least there won’t be his father to worry about. A tall woman who Tooru recalled to be Tobio’s personal guard a few months ago, Kotone, approached Miwa from behind, leaned over her shoulder to whisper into Miwa’s ear. 

Miwa shot her half-brother a short smile. “I have to go. Kageyama Miwa is a busy woman. Please, make yourself at home.”

The irony of that statement made Tooru chuckle darkly. He’d never see this as his home, not when beside him was Hajime and his twins, and his dutiful caretakers. Miwa disappeared into the crowd once and Tooru rested his head on Hajime’s shoulder again, closing his eyes. Hajime mimicked his affection, leaning his cheek onto his alpha’s head, Masaru was under the layers, happily suckling onto Hajime. Minoru, on the other hand, was successfully diverted away from trying to claw out Masaru from his mother’s arms, talking enthusiastically with Akira and Yuutarou.

They were in their own little world, not caring for who and what would talk about them. And Tooru finally smelt like content. The edges of Hajime’s lips curled slightly, knowing his alpha was no longer as tense as he was moments ago. Oh, how he hated seeing Tooru suffer.

The wedding ceremony started not long after, beginning with the grand entrance of Tobio and his soon-to-be husband Shoyo, the omega beaming from ear to ear as they walked towards the middle of the pavilion. Shrine maidens awaited their arrival and performed their rituals, offering blessings for a blessed marriage. It was the usual practice of Kitagawa Daiichi marriages, clean and well maintained performances, traditional in the hearts of the Kitagawa Daiichi clan. His step-mother sat by her table, watching the ceremony as did everyone and Kokushi was still missing, his table empty, his cup of tea unturned from not being served. 

The Clematis Pavilion roared with cheers from the external audience and claps from the Kitagawa Daiichi clan when Tobio and Shoyo’s marriage was officially sealed, the newly married couple, bowing in the middle of the pavilion, their ceremonial headpiece marking the significance of their tied love. Shoyo was smiling brightly and so was Tobio, his hand tightly holding onto his omega’s. Tooru recalled his own wedding. It was smaller, a lot less grand than Tobio’s but the happiness and relief he felt when he married Hajime was overwhelming, and knowing Tobio was feeling the exact same thing, Tooru, for the first time in a while, did not feel hold any bitter feelings towards Tobio’s, instead happiness for the young Clan Leader.

After all, they married the person they loved. Even if they did not receive their father’s blessing. Hell to that man.

✧✧✧✧ 

“Congratulations on the wedding, Tobio-chan, Shoyo-chan. May your married life be a blessed one.”

The married couple sat at their table, side by side, after the conclusion of the wedding. Guests approached them one-by-one, sending their wishes and blessings while the banquet went on. The young alpha bowed his head at his half-brother slightly. 

“Thank you for coming, Tooru-san, Hajime-san. I hope the temperature hasn’t been too cold.”

“It’s cold but manageable.” Hajime chuckled, his thick haori tightly wrapped over his shoulders. 

Shoyo smiled widely and bowed, “It’s nice to meet you, Hajime-san! I’ve been wanting to meet you.” He exclaimed, excitedly. “Tobio keeps talking about how amazing you are!”

Hajime tilted his head in confusion yet smiled amusedly while a soft red spread across his cheeks. “Nice to meet you too, Hinata-kun. I didn’t think I would have made such an impression on Tobio-kun. We met only once.”

“That shows how amazing you are, Hajime-san!” 

Tooru squinted his eyes at Tobio. “Just how much have you been talking about my husband behind my back?” He prodded, raising an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t want to accept the impression that you are infatuated by my Iwa-chan.”

Tobio raised his hands defensively. “I was defeated when I sparred with him. Hajime-san was pregnant at that time. He's a very strong omega, I cannot not talk to Shoyo about it.”

“And you wouldn’t talk about me? Your own brother?”

“Enough with all that, Shittykawa. I’m sure he does.” Hajime chided, elbowing his alpha lightly, before coughing into his palm, embarrassed at the attention that had fallen upon him.

Shoyo laughed. “Tobio does talk about you. He’s very proud of having you as his brother.”

Tooru spluttered in response, the tips of his ears turning red. “As he should!”

The older omega scratched the back of his head, lips pulling into a sheepish and guilty smile. “I haven’t touched the sword for a while. I must have gotten rusty with it. Not to forget I’ve gained a ton of weight since I gave birth.” He admitted, waving a dismissive hand. “I’m not that strong anymore.”

“I don’t believe it, Hajime-san.” Tobio butted in. “I’m sure you’re just as strong as you were two years ago.”

Tooru gasped. “For the first time, I agree with Tobio-chan. You don’t practice archery in your free time for nothing, Iwa-chan. Don’t say that about yourself.”

Shoyo’s excitement sparkled in his eyes as he nodded enthusiastically. “I can’t wait to spar with you, Hajime-san!” He cheered.

“Alright.” Hajime sighed, smiling fondly at Shoyo’s pure eagerness. “What the bride wants, he gets on his special day.” He said, to which the other omega laughed with delight.

The conversation stayed short, given there were other guests who were waiting for their turn to talk to the couple, Tobio asking about his nephews, who he had yet to meet properly while the said twins were knocked out in Akira and Yuutarou’s arms, after getting themselves stuffed by a good meal. After a reminder to join them at the after-party later that night, Tooru and Hajime left, returning back to their seats to finish up the remainder of their meal. With the twins out of sight, Tooru snuggled close to Hajime, perching his chin on Hajime’s shoulder, pouting for his mate to feed him. Hajime rolled his eyes yet lovingly brought a piece of meat to Tooru’s lips. 

“You’re such a big baby.” The omega said affectionately.

Tooru smiled with content as he chewed, keeping himself close to Hajime, because there was nothing here that could take Hajime away. They shared the last of their food together while leaving their children to Takahiro and the betas’ care as they left the pavilion for a walk. It was getting a bit too loud in there with some of the guests, presumably Shoyo’s choice, practically partying in a formal event, their loud boisterous voices echoing against the walls of the Clematis Pavilion. It was a miracle their sons were deep asleep with all the noise. 

Strolling down the halls, Tooru felt uneasy, unpleasant memories flashing across his mind at each step he took. Even if he wasn’t walking within the premises of the family residences, he was surrounded by distasteful images of his past and it couldn’t be helped. He’s stayed here for most of his life, longer than he had been in Aoba Johsai, but had decided to go for this walk to overcome his fears and give himself proper closure with the place. And Hajime was right next to him, making it a lot easier, fingers intertwined, enveloped with his omega’s scent. Shigeru quietly trailed behind, giving them space for themselves, just far enough to interfere if something went wrong.

“That is the room I used to sleep in." Tooru pointed at one of the windows of the building. “When I’m sad I would look out the window and think. Maybe hum a little song.”

Hajime hummed. “Didn’t know you’d be the type to be so melodramatic.”

“I get emotional sometimes!” Tooru said with a huff. “Try being away from me for years, then you’ll know what it feels like.”

“No thank you. Been there, done that. I do not want to go through that again.

They fell into a light-hearted laughter, lifting the tense air. It was a foreign sensation walking through the places he hated but with a person he loved and cared for, a conflicting mix of emotions that battled between sadness and solace. The cold breeze brushed against their skin and he felt Hajime shiver lightly, before wrapping his arms around Tooru’s arm. The pebbled floor crunched under the weight of their feet as they stepped into the garden and Tooru felt a wave of nostalgia wash over him. The garden was the same as it had been left, maintained but unchanged. A little bird chirped in the quiet of the garden and the leaves rustled gently with the wind, its familiarity pierced Tooru’s heart. He remembered the day he was banned from leaving the Recesses, all in the name of training to be the next Clan Leader, where he ran to this particular garden, crying his heart out in both anguish and anger. A blurred image of Kazuyo flashed across his mind.

I miss him.

“You know, Iwa-chan.” He began, teary-eyed. “The day Father told me I cannot go home, I ran away and my grandfather found me here. He’s such a nice man. He let me write letters and he would never leave my side when I needed him. I wished you could have met him.”

Hajime kept quiet.

“He would have loved to see his great-grandchildren.” Tooru’s lips trembled as he felt his tears run down his cheeks. “I want to show him who I have become. I’m free, I am happy but I want him to see it.” He turned to face his omega and sniffled. “I really miss him, Iwa-chan.”

The floodgates broke open as soon as Hajime hugged him, Tooru clutching tightly onto his husband’s shoulders as he sobbed, mumbling how much he missed Kazuyo after all the support he gave him when he was falling apart. Hajime nuzzled his nose against Tooru’s scent gland, feeling his heart shatter in pieces the longer Tooru cried, because please, Tooru, I’m going to cry too. He let Tooru cry into his shoulder, releasing all the repressed emotions within him, to ease his heart and mind once more. Hajime rocked his body and it only made Tooru cry harder as memories of the day he was rocked in Kazuyo’s arms tightly like a baby in a cradle.

“I miss him.. Iwa-chan, I miss him so much..” Tooru wailed. “I want to see him.”

Hajime blinked away the tears from his eyes. “Yes, I know. He would have loved to see you too. He would be so proud of you for who you have become. A strong man. A great father. You would always have a place in his heart.” He whispered softly into Tooru’s ear.

He felt Tooru’s knees weaken from exhaustion and slowly he led themselves to an even patch of grass, settling onto the ground whilst keeping Tooru tight in his hold. He waited until Tooru’s cries subsided, enveloping him with his pheromones, even if he was freezing sitting on the cold ground— Tooru was his priority. He needed support and Hajime gave it, carding his fingers through the alpha’s brown locks of hair, whispering sweet assurances into his ear. Tooru laid his head against Hajime’s shoulder weakly as his cries turned into little sniffles. Hajime was warm, warm enough to fill the void in him and he looked up past his wet lashes to see his husband’s smile. He’s beautiful, the most beautiful person Tooru had seen in his life, and he would never want a life without him. With a small pout and blushed cheeks, he hid his face into the crook of Hajime’s neck. 

All the painful memories in this garden would remain forever in him but with this one sweet moment he’d spent being in Hajime’s arms, its picture has been painted with brighter colors. He felt Hajime’s arms tighten around him once again and let out a small whine when Hajime kissed his forehead.

“Let’s stay here for a while, hm? It’s quiet here.”

Tooru weakly nodded and closed his eyes with a gentle smile, knowing that he was safe with someone he loved, moving on from his past life and to the next.

✧✧✧✧ 

They thought the couple was joking.

Until they walked into the Clematis Pavilion once again later that day after the sun had set.

“A sparring ceremony?”

The staff had cleared the middle of the pavilion, leaving a wide empty space while arranging a range of real katanas on a table. He looked at Hajime questioningly but the omega was just as confused. Never had they seen someone arrange a sparring ceremony during their wedding after-party. But who were they to judge? The after-party was meant for close friends, it meant that Tobio and Shoyo could choose what they wanted. It was just odd.

“Yes, a sparring ceremony.” Miwa giggled as she urged the couple to follow them. “You know how they are. It won’t start until another half hour so feel free to mingle around. Free seating, no segregation but the omegas had somehow managed to gather in one place, hence why the alphas are also gathered together. Omegas on my right, alphas on my left, if you’re interested in joining.” She said with a wink. “You might want to widen your social circle, Hajime-san.”

Hajime laughed. “If you think I need to, then I’ll follow your advice, Miwa-kun.”

Tooru pouted. “You’re telling me I have to sit with them?”

The ‘them’ Tooru was referring to was the group of alphas crowded together, loudly chatting and joking around, laughing while slapping each other’s backs— Tooru refused to think he’s like that. 

“You also need to widen your social circle too.” Miwa sneered. “Just because you’re sitting behind your brother’s back swinging your legs doesn’t mean you don’t meet people.”

“Miwa! I do not swing my legs! I do my work as his brother, in case you’re not aware. There is no need to widen my social circle.”

“How did you think I got you out of here in the first place?”

“Come on. It’s not like you’ll have a hard time fitting in. You act just like them.” Hajime teased, internally cackling at how offended Tooru looked. “That Fukurodani Clan Leader is invited. He seems awfully lively. You’ll be fine.”

Tooru crossed his arms and deepened his pout, childishly stomping his right foot as a sign of objection. “To think that my own husband wants me gone. Fine. I’ll disappear.”

Hajime rolled his eyes. “All you have to do is cross over the pavilion in approximately twenty steps and you’ll find me.” He deadpanned before rubbing his wrist against Tooru’s neck. “There. I scented you. Don’t go all pouty and grumpy when you’re socialising, okay?” He said, pinching Tooru’s cheeks.

With a huff and a playful shove from Tooru, they parted ways for the time being. Tooru was the first to move, walking in the direction of the rowdy alphas while Hajime made his way towards the omegas. The omegas had gathered most of the cushion around the pavilion, stacking them and expertly making a makeshift large nest to fit the fifteen of them— well, sixteen now, as Hajime was warmly greeted by the others. Hajime knew nobody aside from Akaashi Keiji and that was simply because the Fukurodani clan made a pitstop at Aoba Johsai once before traveling to Itachiyama, so a wave of relief washed through him when Keiji patted the empty space beside him.

“Good evening, Iwaizumi-dono.”

Hajime blushed furiously at the address. “No, please. Hajime-san is fine. There’s no need for such formalities. Good evening to you too, Akaashi-dono.”

Keiji smiled. “You may call me Keiji then. You are older than me, are you not?”

The omegas were friendly, to which Hajime concluded were Shoyo’s friends, which also made Hajime their friend, because whoever was friends with Shoyo was a friend of theirs. How that logic worked, Hajime did not bother attempting to understand, and Shoyo attracted a large pool of friends. They were equally boisterous ones like Nekoma’s very pregnant Kuroo Tetsurou, in contrast, shy ones like Karasuno’s Azumane Asahi; or quiet but observant ones like Inarizaki’s Kita Shinsuke. Or just normal people like Keiji and Itachiyama’s Sakusa Kiyoomi. At the other side was also Shoyo’s friends, alphas of high caliber such as Fukurodani’s Clan Leader Bokuto Koutarou and upcoming Clan Leader of Shiratorizawa, Ushijima Wakatoshi, as well as ordinary members of different clans like the unusually tall Nekoma’s Haiba Lev and unusually short Nekoma’s Yaku Morisuke. 

Half an hour passed and the newly married couple stepped into the pavilion. The crowd burst into whistles and laughter, loudly cheering for Tobio and Shoyo, who had changed out of their wedding outfits, fit in their matching hakamas, ready to spar. While Tobio walked awkwardly by Shoyo’s side, the omega was skipping in his steps, joining or more accurately, encouraging the crowd to cheer on them. Tooru bit back a laugh, wondering how the Kitagawa Daiichi clan would react to such chaotic behaviour. The air was light, something very out of place in these very lands and Tooru felt the inner child in him jumping on his feet, clapping happily at the environment he’s in. 

“Owah! It’s time for some action!” Koutarou roared, leaping off the floor with his clenched fists up in the air.

At the same time a few others did the same, namely Haiba and Inarizaki’s Miya Atsumu. Everyone cheered, their beverages slushing in their cups as its users thrusted it into the air. The enthusiasm was comical, seeing esteemed guests yelling and jumping, driven by their excessive love for the sword. Koutarou slung an arm around Tobio’s neck, in which the newlywed chuckled awkwardly, and it made Tooru laugh seeing his introverted brother get crowded by a bunch of rowdy men. Shoyo also laughed, in fact, pushed Tobio into the crowd, forcing him to stop hiding behind the omega.

It was noisy but strangely, Tooru found home in it. He ended up joining the crowd, matching energies with people he didn’t know he could, yelling– even booing at his poor overwhelmed brother for not wanting to join the fun. It was very stupid, only a bunch of buffoons would act like that in a place like this, and Tooru was one of them as well, easily influenced by the chaotic environment. It’s funny to see how easily people changed his environment, laughing and cackling, like the memories of this place didn’t exist. He understood how Shoyo managed to change Tobio’s world around, effortlessly bringing light to Tobio’s life, making Tobio want more and more, unable to lose his grip of this wonderful happiness. 

The same way Hajime made Tooru’s life a lot better, Tobio felt the same with Shoyo.

Though the shy Tobio looked out of place among these boisterous men. A loud clap resonated in the pavilion.

“We are all gathered here to enjoy a wonderful after-party held for the newly wed, Kageyama Tobio and Hinata Shoyo. A sparring ceremony has been put in place for the enjoyment of each guest.” Announced a man, his voice echoing in the Clematis Pavilion. “We will begin sparring matches following requests from the bride and groom–” He said, as he opened a scroll that reached his knee. “ –and we will close the day with a free sparring session.”

“Yeah!” Cheered some.

”Do keep in mind that the blades are sharp and will result in injury if not careful—“

Koutarou laughed, his chest out with his hands on his hips. “What sparring ceremony is there if there are no cuts? We will treat those cuts with honor!”

Shoyo yelled in support. So did Atsumu. So did many others. Hajime heard Keiji sigh beside him and faced the other man.

“This idiot.” Keiji muttered under his breath as he shook his head, but there was no tone of anger for there was a very fond expression on the omega’s face. “He will always lose his mind when it comes to kenjutsu. He gets easily drunk on it. Doesn’t help how he attracted so many other friends that would be hungover if they’re separated from their blade. That’s how Hinata-kun got close to Koutarou in the first place. It’s always the katana.”

Hajime turned back to take a look at the jovial crowd, the men chanting together, while the poor announcer was silenced, unable to get a word out. He watched Tooru from afar, and his heart swelled with joy, seeing the pure happiness on his mate’s face. Tooru had been through a lot— too many for a pure soul like him, and to see him, acting like himself, especially in a place he had grown to hate, made Hajime at ease.

“Look at them, acting so uncouth.”

“They do say birds of a feather flock together.” Hajime said with a chuckle. “Do you not fancy the art of the sword, Keiji?”

Keiji hummed, as he got to his feet as everyone started shifting closer, narrowing the distance between the sparring platform and them. “I love it, but not as much as Koutarou I’m afraid.” He said, offering a hand to pull Hajime up to stand. “Though, I enjoy sparring with him alone in the quiet of the night.” He admitted, a soft pink spread across his cheeks. “Makes a perfect way to end the day.”

“I see.”

”The rules are as always. Win by touching your opponent with your sword or make them drop theirs. Or alternatively, win by their surrender.” The announcer bellowed, the vein on his neck protruding from how loud he’s speaking. 

It was like he’s cornered by a bunch of wolves, craving, hungry, for their feed of kenjutsu. The katanas by the racks were their food, their hands itching to get a hold of it and swing it towards their opponent. Even the composed ones, like Wakatoshi, couldn’t contain the excitement and determination sparkling in his eyes. Hajime loved the sword but sometimes he forgot that there were others who loved it more. That was what brought this wedding in the first place. The overwhelming love for kenjutsu between Tobio and Shoyo, and said couple were back on their designated seats, Shoyo beaming from ear to ear, impatient for the ceremony to begin.

“We will begin the ceremony by a request for Itachiyama’s Sakusa Kiyoomi and Shiratorizawa’s Ushijima Wakatoshi!”

And it began. The requests were balanced in most cases, guests put against each other at the same skill level, as if it was carefully thought of. It was like playing with dolls, matching up one with another for your own entertainment, and both Tobio and Shoyo did that, putting legendary fighters to spar together, even if they didn’t know each other before. So they made history, writing that many debut sparring matches have taken place in their wedding after party. How nice would that be to hear?

Each sparring session was thrilling to watch. There was no one in that room that lacked any skill that was entertaining, driving the audience to the edge of their seats, unable to come to decide who will win the match. The sound of clashing of swords would start uneven before eventually evolving into a musical rhythm as the pair started adapting to their opponent’s attacks. No one shared the same fighting style. Similarities, yes but never the same, as each and everyone in the room had perfectly created theirs by adding a unique touch into their way with the sword. Everyone was in some way extremely different, like the sheer power in Wakatoshi’s strikes and the flexibility in Kiyoomi’s body. Meanwhile other players like Date Kogyo’s Takanobu focused on an impactful defense and Azumane’s speciality was dragging the fight while constantly enduring attacks. What caught Hajime’s eyes was Kenma’s. He barely attacked, slithering like a cat and reading his opponents’ movements, predicting them well enough that he only used his sword at a minimum. He tapped out fast, however, panting out of exhaustion.

The air in the pavilion was filled with enthusiasm, heightened by the determination that leaked through the occupants’ pheromones. Whether or not they were on their feet and cheering or sitting by the sidelines calmly watching, their pheromones never lied, exposing their sheer excitement for anyone with the sword. One by one each sparring match ended and they eventually reached the bottom of the list. A few of them were beat, having called more than twice to the floor, because they were too powerful to not be requested again— well, also because they, too, could not resist a match with another opponent (cue Koutarou and Atsumu). Some that had yet to step to the floor, either politely rejecting the offer or not part of the request list. Hajime was one of them, but for neither of the two reasons previously stated.

“We begin with our last few match requests. We call upon Aoba Johsai’s Iwaizumi Hajime and Karasuno’s Hinata Shoyo to the floor.”

Picking up the sword in hand felt nostalgic. Hajime hadn’t held a sword for a while, especially not in front of anticipated guests, waiting for oh-so-legendary Iwaizumi Hajime, what Shoyo claimed him to be, to lift the katana and strike. And like magic, the second he touched the hilt of the blade, he felt an intense surge of emotions run through him and that was the very moment he felt the sword possess him, filling him with fiery energy. Oh how the bow and arrow did nothing to him like the sword did. He raised his katana and locked eyes with Shoyo, the other omega excited, eager to take on Hajime’s strike, legs in position to take the first hit.

“I’m not that strong anymore.”

He was a liar. 

A liar to his own self. A liar that made him forget the strength he possessed in his body. Mother or not, he was still Iwaizumi Hajime, and thunder cracked through the sky at the strong impact of Hajime’s sword against Shoyo’s. It made everyone in the room gasp, seeing how easily Hajime had Shoyo bent backwards, using all his effort to push the older omega away, but Hajime’s aura was dominating. A ferocious glint of exhilaration appeared in his eyes, which slowly crept onto his lips, as he rooted his feet onto the ground, using his upper body to pin Shoyo down. Shoyo’s arms shook before letting out a burst of strength, successfully pushing Hajime away but within seconds Hajime was on his tail again, the blade light in the older omega’s hands. He failed to see how Shoyo struggled, focusing on attacking, and attacking, and attacking— the power he possessed was immense. He forgot how much he loved this.

And with one swift motion, Hajime knocked the katana off Shoyo’s hand.

He looked down at his own hand, observing the calloused palm that had formed, all from the years of training. He may have not touched one for a while but the sword was where it belonged, right in his hands. Kenjutsu was dangerous and Hajime was deadlier. His lips curved into a small smile, about to let out a laugh of amusement, when he felt a cold metal touch his neck. 

“I won, Hajime-san.”

The flat of Shoyo’s blade, one that he thought had successfully left Shoyo’s hand, hovered over the skin of his neck. Hajime sighed. As powerful as he was, his senses were still rusty. Letting his guard down, what a rookie mistake. A chuckle left his lips as he turned around, dropping his own sword and raised his hands in defeat.

“And I have been defeated.” Hajime said quietly, locking eyes with the bride. “You won today. But I won’t let you win again.” He added with a mixture of teasing and warning in his tone.

“The more chances to spar, the better it is, Hajime-san.” Shoyo grinned, before the two of them bowed.

✧✧✧✧ 

The two brothers met once again at the middle of the pavilion, this time ready for a rematch of what happened back in Aoba Johsai. Tobio could see the determination in his brother’s eyes, one that he translated into extreme desire to win over him— for once. Tobio stood before his brother as he fixed his hakama, not tearing his eyes away from Tooru. Tooru didn’t break it either as a form of tense competition flooded the air with their pheromones. It’s unavoidable when two men, raised by the same competitive father, two Kageyama-blooded alphas, were put against each other. The last one standing wins the match and neither of them wanted to lose.

“Are you ready to lose, Tobio-chan?” Tooru taunted, twirling the katana in his hand.

“You said that last time. And you lost.” Tobio blankly pointed out.

“You brat.”

Everyone in the room could feel the tension but it wasn’t too scary and hostile enough to start evacuating. After all, they’d been surrounded by it for hours, only at little amounts, and it was these two brothers who managed to overwhelm the air with their steep level of pheromones. Tobio tightened his grasp on his katana. He’s seen how his brother sparred. Once when he was 15 and one when he was 20. He had seen both sides of Tooru, the ways he fought as a member of the Kitagawa Daiichi clan, and Aoba Johsai’s. With all the experience he had, merging fighting styles from Kitagawa Daiichi and Karasuno’s, and his knowledge of Tooru’s patterns–

“I’ll win.”

Tooru’s growl was cut short when Tobio rushed forward, a metallic screech of their clashing katanas shrill to the ears. Tooru’s determination to defeat him blazed in his eyes, as he propelled forward, forcefully forcing Tobio off him before attacking, swinging left, right, left, right, using the elegance of the Aoba Johsai clan to his advantage. The young Clan Leader didn’t waste time adapting, finding the rhythm of Tooru’s attacks and taking his offense to another level, with improved speed and precision. And every time Tooru did something, Tobio found a way to counter it, and vice versa, using all the mental effort on that floor to deduce their opponent’s next moves. 

It was a long match, and both alphas’ felt the burning sensation in their arms and legs. A vicious cycle of attacking and defending and using trump cards that eventually gets countered, neither wanted to back down. Tooru hissed when the blade missed his face by barely an inch, letting out a grunt of frustration as he swung his sword again, only to be met with Tobio’s. It may be Tobio’s wedding day but no way in hell would Tooru let him win, not in front of everybody, not in front of an audience who knew about his backstory and defect to his clan, so he pushed harder, using all other strength left in him to fight back.

Tobio wouldn’t stop either, in fact, fastening his speed and channeling his strength so he could take down his brother once again. Not out of spite, but out of sheer competitiveness. Eyebrows furrowed with focus, Tobio didn’t let out a single noise, aside from the low breaths, a technique he learnt himself, unlike Tooru who’s vocal. The Clematis Pavilion was void of noise, aside from the sounds of blades clashing, and with the way the brothers’ pheromones had permeated the air, no one dared make a sound. All they could do was watch the intense sparring before them, entranced by this magnificent match and their captivation was abruptly cut short at the clattering metal that hit the pavilion floor.

“Hah! One victory for me.” Tooru patted his own back, after successfully knocking off the weapon from Tobio’s hold.

Tobio glared at the katana that had fallen a distance away. That shouldn’t happen. He’s definitely improved from the version of him four years ago. He looked at his brother who’s now raising an eyebrow at him with a stupid crooked grin on his face.

“Hard time digesting the fact that you lost to your big brother, Tobio-chan?”

No. Not really. He had lost multiple times, both inside and outside kenjutsu, one of his biggest defeats was his loss of happiness and freedom, all because of his father. He was not perfect but inside Tobio somewhat knew the inferiority that Tooru felt, like Tobio was untouchable and always winning– which was incredibly wrong. Proven wrong so many times, primarily his father, and eventually sparring with significantly stronger men and women from different clans that had him scrambling to defend himself from his opponent’s attacks, he had lost. 

But whatever loss he experienced meant more room to grow. He’ll never let his defeats stop him from improving.

Tobio nodded his head. “You’ve grown stronger, Tooru-san.” He said, easily, watching the tips of Tooru’s ears grow red. “Thank you for sparring with me.”

Tooru waved a hand, partially an attempt to hide the embarrassment felt from the younger alpha’s words. “It’s nothing. And how can I reject a groom’s request to fight with me? It’ll make me look like a bad guy. And I’m absolutely honoured, mind you, because that means our last fight has not left your mind.”

Petty. Tobio smiled. “Of course, I hadn’t. We promised to spar again.”

The flush on Tooru’s ears grew darker. “Well, I didn’t forget that either.” He said childishly with a huff before walking off. 

His eyes remained on Tooru’s back as he watched his brother return to his seat and a sense of pride fell on him. He’s proud– proud that that very man, that alpha, was his brother. Hell to whatever his father said, or what the clan wished to see him as. Oikawa Tooru was a man of value and Tobio felt honoured to have him as a brother. The voice of the announcer interrupted his thoughts, announcing the final, the grand finale of the sparring ceremony, and stepped into the floor was his beloved, his one and only Hinata Shoyo.

“I’ll play nice.” Tobio smirked, as they stood before each other.

Shoyo snickered, raising an eyebrow. “Fight me with all you got, husband.”

There was no need for a call to announce the beginning of the match for they were on each other’s throats in a blink of an eye, swords clashing against each other’s. The bride and groom danced in the middle of the Clematis Pavilion, using the katana as their instrument, creating a song by the vibrations of its metal that only those who love the art of kenjutsu would understand. 

Fighting Shoyo was nothing like sparring with Tooru, or Wakatoshi, or Kiyoomi— not because he’s not as strong or talented as them, but because it’s a person that he had fallen in love with… hard. Hard enough that it could have pushed him off the stairs towards the Recesses but also hard enough to pull him back to his feet and to help him find his way to the light. There was a wide grin on Tobio’s face and Shoyo mirrored his, albeit a lot much brighter, while the fire in their eyes matched, as well as the love, infatuation and obsession that seeked through their pheromones.

The months they had spent together narrowed the gap of skill between the pair, two contrasting fighting styles merging into one, displaying to everyone in the room their craft, one they were not aware they were making, something that was unique to only Tobio and Shoyo. Their bodies swayed in the middle of the pavilion, awing those who watched. It was a stellar performance that no one could replicate, because this— no, they were perfect only for each other, a perfect match made in heaven.

Swords clatter onto the ground simultaenously, ending the match with a tie. No one won yet the match was spectacular, won the hearts of the audience, and everyone cheered, congratulating the two men for their marriage.

The wedding after-party closed in with more drinks and food served and katanas replaced with wooden ones, leaving any guest to take the floor and spar. Everyone was in a lively mood in the Clematis Pavilion, with some chatting, some flailing their wooden katanas while drunk, and some… doing particularly nothing— like Kenma sitting at the corners, staring out into nowhere, half asleep. The sun had set hours ago and one by one, the number of guests decreased. 

And to Tobio’s relief, the noise level had gone down. Too used to the quiet of the Kitagawa Daiichi, the loud celebration was foreign to the young alpha. Shoyo was loud, alone, but that was just him, and he’d gladly endure anything Shoyo did— not Shoyo’s friends however. Yuutarou and Akira weren’t as noisy as friends either. After a while, Tobio decided to take a walk down the adjacent corridors, just to free himself from the guests, who were now mostly drunk, and spend some alone time with his spouse.

“Gah. I’m so full!” Shoyo exclaimed\, patting his stomach.

“You shouldn’t eat so much.” Tobio mumbled, walking side by side down the halls. “How will you sleep tonight?”

“Who said we’ll be sleeping on our wedding night?”

A bright shade of red painted Tobio’s pale skin and the cheeky grin on the other man’s face didn’t help calm him down. Being surrounded by so many people somehow made Tobio forget the whole purpose of this occasion. It felt more like a formal event, something Tobio was used to since his ascension. But here, away from the stage, alone with his husband, it finally dawned upon him that he was bound to Shoyo as Shoyo was bound to him. He’s married now. He’ll spend the rest of his life alive with the man he loved and he won’t miss the bright smile on Shoyo’s face. The ring on his finger felt heavy yet light because this was no chain, rather a binding tie of two lovebirds.

They stop at a turn, leaning over the railing to see the small waterfalls, falling from high heights, its music rhythmic to the ear. The rocks were beautiful to the eyes, its gloss reflected by the moonlight. It’s all very peaceful up in the Recesses, just as it was made to be— no, moulded to be. A culture of discipline and control, hidden beneath the eyes of the public, often perceived as an ideal calm, that took over the Kitagawa Recesses like a storm singlehandedly done by one ruler, and then reinforced by another, and another, until it stuck onto the Clan, and anyone who defied it was a traitor. 

Kageyama Kazuyo was a traitor. Oikawa Tooru was a traitor. And Tobio knew that he was also labelled as a traitor. Only until he stepped down will they properly call him one, but he now stands above them, and by their culture, no one can question the Clan Leader.

This rigid life in Kitagawa Daiichi, full of rules and regulations, had suffocated many the walked its path and Tobio wouldn’t know if it wasn’t for his brother’s defection and Hinata Shoyo, his presence alone able to move that stifling air, giving Tobio room to breathe and room to be himself. Shoyo was a walking ward, lifting all the fog and cloud surrounding Tobio and just what better life would Tobio live, if there weren’t any clouds in the first place.

“I wonder what Natsu-chan is up to.” Shoyo wondered, with a little hum to end his sentence. “Probably studying for her exam.” He added with a chuckle.

Tobio listened as Shoyo talked, his heart at peace. Tobio never really enjoyed surrounding himself with yappers, unable to understand why they couldn't shut up for a minute or two, but Shoyo was different. He found solace in Shoyo’s voice which held a pitch would annoy anyone else if they heard him talk for too long, but not him. There just seemed to be nothing that would make Tobio dislike this omega.

Intertwining their fingers together, Tobio let out a scent of content and so did Shoyo, and there in the corridors was the newly married couple, enjoying their momentary lone time together.

“I’m thinking of something crazy.” Tobio mumbled, his lips formed into a pout as he thought deeply.

The omega looked up. “What do you mean?”

“I want to do something crazy.”

That made Shoyo laugh. “How crazy? Will it top the day you ascended and fooled your dad in front of everybody?”

“I want to leave Kitagawa Daiichi.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t know when but maybe after a few months? Once things settle down, I want to leave.”

“Are you serious about this?”

“I am.” Tobio insisted. “I.. I don’t like this place anymore. For the longest time, I thought I belonged here but the more I see, the more I learn, this place isn’t right. I’m here because I’m born here but it’s not my place. It’s not my home. Home should make me feel happy and that’s not what Kitagawa Daiichi makes me feel.” Tobio sighed. “Maybe I’m envious seeing Tooru-san look all happy in Seijoh. And you, back at the Karasu Tower. I… I want something like that.”

“I see. Then I support you.” 

“You’ll support me?” Tobio asked, shock evident in his tone.

Shoyo laughed. “I think you have forgotten two things. That one, I gave you my full support for your father’s deception and two, I am your husband now. How can I not support you, Tobio?”

Tobio looked away, red hot with embarrassment. Right. It’s not like Tobio was doing anything illegal, something that’d harm others. He’s eyeing a new journey that’ll make his life brighter, removing the bleakness as it currently is in the Recesses. He felt Shoyo squeeze his hand encouragingly and Tobio could feel the back of his eyes sting, overwhelmed by receiving such unquestioning support. All his life barely was he allowed to do what he wanted, and the first time he did it with Miwa’s help, it felt scary, terrifying that he’s taking a different path. It’ll be different now with Shoyo by his side.

He watched as Shoyo’s eyes diverted its attention from him and over his shoulder. At the same time, he could smell a soft familiar scent that belonged to no one else but his brother. 

“Tooru-san’s alone. You should go talk to him.” Shoyo whispered, pointing his chin over Tobio’s shoulder. ”I’ll head back to the pavilion.”

Tobio pivoted on his heel and looked at the direction of Shoyo’s line of sight. Alone stood Oikawa Tooru, lifelessly staring out into the sky, hands hung tiredly at his sides. He doesn’t seem too sad, not happy either, simply standing alone, deep in thought. With a nudge from the omega, Tobio walked towards his brother. Tobio could count how many times he’d met his brother alone, indicating just how little time he had spent with Tooru, even when staying under the same roof. With his feet making quiet steps, Tobio realised how grateful he felt to be able to hold a conversation with Tooru.

“Tooru-san.”

The older man flinched lightly, startled by Tobio’s sudden approach. “Oh, Tobio-chan. I didn’t see you coming.”

“You’ve been staring for a while.” Tobio pointed out bluntly, realising he didn’t smell any alcohol on his brother. “Is the wine not to your taste, Tooru-san?”

Tooru shook his head and a little chuckle left his lips. “I don’t drink. I don’t like it.”

“Do you have a low tolerance or do you simply hate the taste?”

“Neither.” Tooru said, his answer short and precise, before sighing, turning to face the young Clan Leader fully. “To be honest, Tobio-chan, I do love the flavour of alcohol and if I could drink it everyday without feeling its effects, I would. I… I just don’t like what I become when I drink.”

“What do you mean?”

“I hate to say it but alcohol made me act like Father.”

Tobio hadn’t had a full cup of wine, only mere sips simply because he didn’t like the acidic taste, but he knew how many people changed drastically with alcohol— that included Kageyama Kokushi. If only, if only, Tooru didn’t act up that night and if only Kokushi hadn’t chosen to drink, brewing himself in anger for the humiliation Tooru had put him through when rejecting Hikaru, maybe Tooru would have stayed a little longer. And maybe he wouldn’t be hurt. Yet, hearing those words come out from his own brother’s mouth scared him. He’s been compared too many times to his Father, mostly for the good, but the longer Tobio learnt about himself, the more he feared becoming just like Kokushi.

After all, Kokushi was their Father, their flesh and blood. 

“I got agitated, suddenly I wanted everything to be perfect, the way I wanted it to be. I was angry at myself for being a failure even if I know that I am not. And.. I took it out on others. That night was terrifying, Tobio-chan. It’s like my body wasn’t mine, like something was waking up my inner demons, and that’s just from alcohol.” Tooru explained, his voice quiet, and his pheromones now leaving a trace of regret. 

“I want to avoid being him. I cannot.. I cannot risk it. I’m not alone in this world. I have a husband, I’m a father and I have so many people around me that matter to me. I don’t like the idea of him living inside me, like a dormant volcano. It’s there unmoving but whether or not I’ll actually turn like him, it’s all up to circumstance. And I really hate this.”

Tobio observed how distressed Tooru looked while voicing out his frustration. He understood him completely and was about to butt in with his own feelings to make Tooru know that he wasn’t alone, when he stopped, knowing how much this was needed.

“And I can’t rely on Hajime forever. What if I lose him one day? Who will be there to ground me?” Tooru mumbled, eyes downcast.

“I will.”

Tooru looked up, shocked, like the two worded response Tobio gave him was completely unexpected. He opened his mouth to speak but the younger alpha beat him to it.

“I will not be as great as Hajime-san at giving you support but I will be there to ground you. I will not let you be just like Father.” Tobio declared, his eyes filled with determination.

As embarrassing and awkward as it sounded, the sincerity leaked out of Tobio’s words and slithered its way into Tooru’s heart, his weakened heart. It’s part of an older brother’s ego to not take a younger sibling’s words of comfort and encouragement but today, Tooru felt the need to drop that act, soften his ego and accept those kind words, that his eyes welled with tears. However, Tooru didn’t cry but laughed, a hand on his hip while the other slapped Tobio’s shoulder. The young alpha stood there confused, unable to understand why had Tooru burst into laughter at his words. Had he said something wrong? Did he sound stupid? 

But his heart felt at ease when Tooru wiped the corner of his eyes, fresh tears still rolling its way down his cheeks, with a smile on his face. There wasn’t malice, no sign of mockery in his eyes, or even cheekiness, which Tobio would usually find when Tooru made fun of him, but fondness, or adoration, an unusual hint of softness in those brown eyes. 

“All the way from Kitagawa, Tobio-chan? I feel indebted now.” Tooru tried to joke, but his tone failed him. “.. I appreciate it, however.”

Tobio looked away, embarrassed. “That’s the least I could do as your brother. I wasn’t able to do anything.”

“You were young and you had so many questions. I bet you still have so many questions up there in that little brain of yours.” 

“It’s not little.”

“Anyone who is deathly crazy with the sword has a little brain.”

“Doesn’t that include you too, Shittykawa?”

Like he’s caught red handed, Tooru leaped and wiped his damp cheeks with his sleeve, chuckling nervously at the sight of his omega. Standing beside Hajime was Shoyo, laughing at his now brother-in-law’s misery. Tobio smiled to himself. This was only a small part of his newly found family and he’s feeling at ease. This unfamiliarity was comforting, knowing it was a sign that Tobio’s deprivation for a healthy family was slowly being restored. Family protects each other. Family makes each other happy. That’s what a family is supposed to be, not as a project where the final goal was to reach perfection, that’ll lead to reputation and fame. There were more people waiting for their arrival back in Karasuno, a small humble wedding for the Hinata family in another few days. There was something about Karasuno and its people that sparked Tobio’s interest which Tobio had yet to pinpoint. But those three visits he had to Karasu Tower, was enough to lure him back, finding himself more fit to their lands than his own birthland.

It’s not too bad of a decision to leave Kitagawa for Karasuno. Alas, it’s less than a day’s trip to Aoba Johsai by foot. It won’t be too difficult to visit his brother anytime he’d like. Tobio frowned, thinking who would take over his place. If Miwa’s up to being Clan Leader, that’s good for him but if she doesn’t want to, preferably doing things behind the scenes rather than being a representative, then that’s a problem. Tobio would need to engage with the disciples first hand and groom them to be suitable. But that’s another story to think about.

Tobio watched as Tooru tried to recover his dignity from his own comment, when his eyes fell onto the white flower tassel that peaked out from underneath Tooru’s haori. It was brief, but it was enough to make Tobio feel elated, happy that his brother had put on his gift on his special day. Inevitably, Tooru searched for it on Hajime’s and like the tassel knew it’s gifter’s presence, the tassel showed itself hanging on the side of Hajime’s kimono.

“You wore it.” He murmured.

The older alpha halted in his ramblings before following where Tobio was looking and flipping the haori aside, to show where the tassel sat. He let out a huff. “Iwa-chan wanted to wear it.”

“Don’t listen to him. It’s his idea.” Hajime deadpanned as he showed his. “Let me be honest, I completely forgot this existed because the boys somehow found it and hid it deep in their trash of toys. Tooru’s the one who flipped the whole of Seijoh over to find it.”

The red on Tooru’s cheeks deepened.

Shoyo’s eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. “Oh!” He exclaimed, before grabbing Tobio’s arm and digging his hand into Tobio’s sleeves. Not caring if he was embarrassing his husband in the process, his tongue jutted out between his lips from focus as his hands searched for something. He let out a loud “Aha!” and yanked his hand out, showing an omamori in his palm. Without a word, he shoved it into the other couple’s faces to see.

The color on Tobio’s cheeks matched Tooru’s. Hajime fought back a chuckle while Shoyo continued grinning, but they both understood why the brothers act as such. For the first time in years, they could truly see how much they mean to each other, despite starting off on the wrong foot. But of course, these two fools would never outwardly admit it, so Tobio grabbed it out of Shoyo’s hands, shoving it back into his sleeves, while Tooru wrapped himself tighter with his haori, hiding the tassel once more.

Tooru cleared his throat. “Anyways, why are you here, Iwa-chan? Shoyo-kun?” He asked, trying to ignore the heat on his cheeks. 

“I’m here to call Tobio back to the pavilion. Many guests are retiring for the night and want to see him again.” Shoyo replied, wrapping an arm around Tobio’s. “Hajime-san said he wants to go to sleep.”

Hajime sighed. “I.. I didn’t say that. I’m just tired.” He tried to say but the evident sleepiness on his face betrayed him, fighting to keep his eyes open.

No one could truly blame him. The event lasted a whole day and he’s not the only one exhausted. He had taken the request to spar by other guests after drinks were distributed too– had also easily defeated most of them. 

“Well, you should head off then, Hajime-san. We have no reason to hold you.” Tobio said as he watched Hajime slide his hand into Tooru’s.

Tooru gave his mate’s hand one good squeeze. “Alright then. We’ll retire for the night. Thank you for inviting us, Tobio-chan, Shoyo-chan.” He bowed his head, Hajime following suit. “And congratulations for tying the knot.”

The newly married couple bowed in reciprocation. “Thanks for coming all the way from Seijoh. It’s a real pleasure to have you here…” Tobio said, before adding, “.. brother.”

A body collided against his and Tobio’s nose was filled with Tooru’s scent. How many times exactly had they hugged? Besides Tooru’s farewell hug during his defection, when were the other times they had embraced? Tears fogging his eyes, Tobio hugged back, burying his face into his brother’s shoulder, while Tooru patted his back. 

“I know, I’m far away, but if you need anything, Tobio-chan…” He heard Tooru speak, a familiar shaky rhythm to his speech, as if he’s about to cry. “As your brother, you can always come to me. I promise I’ll be there for you.”

Letting go was the hardest part. Had they been much closer, had a healthier relationship, their distance would have never been there. The warmth of Tooru’s body was different, giving Tobio a familial sense that only Miwa had given him, and no one else. But now he knew, that he’s no longer alone. Not only Miwa had his back, but his husband and his brother. And the many other friends he’ll make with Shoyo’s help. His mother and father begone, he need not worry. He had lost Kazuyo, his only support, years ago, for them to come back tenfold, in forms of different humans, lifting Tobio back to his feet.

Tooru peeled himself off from Tobio, his eyes rimmed with red. “You did a great job.”

“Thank you.”

Exchanging bows one last time, they turned their backs to each other, Tobio and Shoyo returning back to the pavilion to officially excuse themselves for the night, and Tooru and Hajime back to their temporary residence. Walking in the opposite direction was enough to tell the fate of their lives. Both will continue out into different paths, seeking answers and reaching for goals they have yet to achieve, to obtain the best way of life. These paths will rarely collide, setting on their own journey, but the charms, Tobio’s omamori and Tooru’s tassel, bind them together aside from their blood and memories. They may not walk down the same direction but they’ll always be with each other, despite the distance, for they are family.

After sending their last good nights to the guests, Tobio and Shoyo finally left the pavilion and were walking down the halls when the alpha’s cheeks burned with the thoughts of tonight, walking stiffly by Shoyo’s side. The awkwardness must have been so obvious that it caught the omega’s attention, causing an amused grin on Shoyo’s face. And before Tobio could say anything, he felt himself being lifted into the air as Shoyo’s arms hooked underneath his legs and Tobio instinctively wrapped his arms around the omega’s neck. 

“Shoyo!” He squeaked with surprise.

“Can’t have my husband get all exhausted walking before we get to our room.” Shoyo whispered, leaning close to Tobio’s ear.

It felt weird, being all indecent like this while still in the halls of the Recesses, yet somehow, being around Shoyo had sparked a little rebellion in him, fighting against the boring rules of the Recesses, set by the Kitagawa Daiichi Clan. His own lips curled into a smirk as he felt Shoyo readjust him.

“What a great mate you are.” He whispered back, his tone a little darker, as he pressed his body against Shoyo’s.

The omega laughed and continued their way back to their rooms, effortlessly carrying Tobio’s tall figure in his arms. Tobio leaned his head against Shoyo’s shoulder, letting himself be pampered, taking in the omega’s scent as easily as Shoyo gave him. Walking past the doors, he could see Kokushi’s figure roaming the place. As much as he accepted it, Tobio was upset that his father didn’t come to their wedding. Ever since his ascension, he was always holed up in his room and study, only leaving for the night to enjoy the quiet of the Recesses. As he was never out during the day, anyone who wanted to see him, be it the elders, his old friends, will have to request to meet him in his study. He’ll accept all of their requests, except for Tobio. And that had left a bitter taste on Tobio’s tongue. 

It took one thing for Kokushi to completely dispose of him. 

He watched as his father’s figure vanished into the dark, the old man heading to wherever he wanted to be. If that man chose to hide himself and no longer associate himself with his sons, then so be it. Tobio won’t chase him, even if his heart yearned for a father to love, because he knew that Kokushi himself wouldn’t find him. It was written the way it had been. Kokushi seeked something that he wanted, while making his own sons as pawns. Alas, he failed to succeed. 

Tobio laid his head back onto Shoyo’s shoulder, admiring the omega from behind his lashes. A small smile crept across his face as he wondered. Has he truly understood the world? Has he fully understood his brother? Has he fully understood the concept of love? He hummed, content with being surrounded by Shoyo’s pheromones, because no, he didn’t think he did but he had gotten some answers. They don’t answer all, they definitely did not answer every question he held with regards to his father’s and brother’s questionable actions— but one thing for sure, is that he realised that everybody seeked the path to one common goal.

It was to find the place where the heart lies.