Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was known very well that those who boarded Going Merry aren’t your particular people, left alone your usual pirates. Those people are full of characters and quirks, that some people just bound to clash. Especially if they aren’t adept in handling the way-too-childish Captain.

“Gah?”

“Whut?”

“BONNEY!”

“Oh Dear…”

Bonney, in her wisdom, decided to play a prank using her power.

And thus Strawhat on that particular day saw a Seven-year-old Monkey D. Luffy, fifteen-years old Sanji, a sixty-something Trafalgar Law, among other things.

“Bonney.” Zoro grumped as he tried to not get tripped over his swords. “Explain yourself.”

“Yah!” Luffy nodded. His punch was going all-over the place! It was like he’s back being seven but not quite. Ugh, Ace is going to laugh at him if he saw him like this! “What was this for?!”

Bonney grinned.

“Since you’re being child, your age should fit your attitude. If you wanna be childish then you should be a child.”

Hawkins froze. He doesn’t need any cards to know a catashtrope is in immediate future. As in, any moment right now.

“Traffy being grumpy old men so he should be grumpy old men.”

“Oh boy.” Bepo fretted. Biting his nails in worry.

Robin smiled enigmatically. “What about Nami?” Behind her Usopp’s palor had turned to the color of curdled milk, as he look at Bonney and urgently shook his head, making a crossed sign with his arms.

Bonney did not get the message, and obliviously replied with, “well, she’s been nagging hag!”

You could hear something snapped.

“A Nagging hag, huh?”

“She’s so dead.” Bege murmured.

Law take one look at the sight and turned around. “Bepo, Shachi, Penguin. The storm last night messed up with the inventory. Help me clean them up.”

“O-of course! Wait, let me help you---Ow!”

“My bones aren’t that frail!”

“You do act like old man, cap--Ow ow ow! I get it I get it! Stop hitting me already!”

“Be grateful I didn’t switch your head with Shachi!”

Sanji was torn in defending Bonney or running for his life from danger zone. He decided that since both party are girls, he better stay out of this. “I’m just… going to prepare lunch.” He marched into the kitchen.

“Allow me to help.” Drake hurriedly went after him.

“Uh. Okay. I’m gonna see if Merry got any holes to patch.” Usopp slinked back to below the deck.

“I’ll watch the Log Pose.” Bege sighed. “Come on, child.” He picked Chopper up.

“Uh, is Nami okay?”

“If you value your safety, you should leave her be.”

Luffy looks around. “Hey, guys. What’s wrong?”

“I suggest you leave. For your own sake if nothing else.” Was all Hawkins said before climbing up to the crow’s nest faster than he ever been.

“Eh?” Bonney finally realize that something was wrong. “Guys? What’s---” Her voice went dead as a slender hand clamped on her shoulder.

Nami's smiles won't melt ice.

“Well,” she chirped in saccharine sweet voice, “Allow your elders to teach you manner.” In her other hand, climatact was crackling menacingly.

“Ehehe…” Bonney gulped. “W-we-we can talk things out, right? Right? So---”

Within the next few minutes, a high-pitched scream echoed across the sea.

Chapter Text

Mermaid =/= Beautiful Lady

“...therefore, to reach the New World, we have to go to Sabaody first and get our ship coated.” Drake finished his explanation. “Otherwise Sunny will broke before we could reach Fishmen Island--No Franky, it doesn’t matter how tough you build Sunny. Never underestimate deep sea pressure.” He quickly add when the shipwright was about to open his mouth and protest.

“Can confirm.” Penguin nodded. “Deep Sea Pressure can be pain to handle. We need to check up on Polar Tang every time we reach an Island just to be on the safe side.”

Franky tched.

“Wait. Would there be underwater Volcano on the way?”

“Never been there but not ruling out the possibility.”

“And that’s not even taking account on us needing to breathe, or the Sea Kings. Or that a good number of us are Anchors who would be less than useless when come into contact with sea water.” Robin chimes in. “I imagine without the coating we would be easily swept in by the currents into beast’s mouth without us could do anything but floating helplessly in face of certain death.”

“Robin!” Chopper wailed. “That’s so scary!”

“But it’s not untrue.” Law patted the other doctor. “Us, Devil Fruit Users, are vulnerable to sea water, thus coating is necessary.”

“Ah.” Brook joined the discussion. “But don’t you own a Submarine? Surely you and your crew will be fine.”

The wielder of Op-Op fruit scoffed.

“Says the talking skeleton. I’m sure you can’t drown. You need lungs to drown, after all.”

“Yohohohoho. Indeed, that I would have drown if I have lungs but all I have is these bones. Skull Joke!”

Urouge hummed. “What the Fishmen Kingdom was like?”

Luffy pouted. “Hey! No Spoiler.”

“Ain’t spoiler if it was free intel!” Apoo replied from the Crow’s Nest.

Drake chuckled. “Well. Fishmen Kingdom is mostly inhabited by two species. Fishmen, just like its namesake--and just to confirm, who’s here never see a fishmen?”

“Fishmen is like Arlong, right?” Luffy asked.

“Yes Luffy.” Nami nodded. “Arlong is a Fishmen.”

“Arlong, formerly of Sun Pirates?” Bege’s eyebrows rose. “I was not aware you know him.”

“Yep!” Luffy nodded. “He made Nami cry so I beat him!” He said it as if it was the most obvious things in the world. Think again it’s Luffy, and everyone onboard still remember the events just over a week ago where they practically declare war on World Government.

(Except Killer, who has to be brought up to the latest news by Kidd)

“Eh. Sharkface is nasty.” Sanji scoffed. “Will you be alright, Nami-swan?” He ask, concerned.

“...I’ll manage.” Nami answered. Turning to Drake, she asks, “Fishman is one of the species living there, wasn’t it? What’s the other.”

“I thought it was obvious.” The former Marine stated teasingly. “Why, mermaid of course.”

He had to blink in confusion when several face suddenly turned ugly shade of green… or that Sanji suddenly curled up in fetal position, rocking back and forth, sobbing. “Err…?”

Killer stares. “What’s wrong with them?”

“Beat me.” Kidd scratched his head. “Oi! What’s the hell with you guys?”

“Mermaid are lies.” Bonney wails. “Mermaid are lies! They don’t exist!”

“They say what you think was Mermaid… was actually Dugong.” Zoro is almost as green as his hair.

Shachi laughed weakly.

Hagfish mermaid do have shortest beauty period… on top of needing to live deep under the sea to preserve the beauty longer… if they spent too much time living closer to the surface or on surface… well, Granny Kokoro give him what wizened Hagfish mermaid looks like.

“I don’t remember anything.” Usopp mutters to himself. “I don’t remember anything I don’t remember anything I absolutely don’t remember anything.”

Robin look at them curiously. Nami just pat her shoulder.

“Don’t… don’t think too much about it.”

Luffy draw something (where did he get that whiteboard and marker) and flipped it around. “Aren’t mermaid looks like this?”

His picture show an abstract creature with fish head but human leg… or did he just draw legs on a fish? Killer has no idea.

“I’m pretty sure mermaids aren’t like that.” The masked man pointed out.

“No.” Chopper shook his head. His fur was standing on their end and actually turn pale… which was impressive feat. And concerning. “It would be better if the granny was like that.”

Bepo awkwardly patted Sanji’s back, who just sobs louder.