Work Text:
The Speedwagon Foundation Iceberg EXPLAINED
Miss Robot • 437K views • 1 month ago
[4:32:16]
It’s a high bar, but the Speedwagon Foundation is a strong contender for the title of ‘world’s strangest NGO.’ Today, we’re starting at the surface and going deep, deep down in our quest to uncover the full history of this bizarre organization.
Sources: pastebin.co …more
“Welcome back, bugs and buggles! Now, you may remember that way back in September I let the patrons vote on what strange and spooky topic you wanted to see me dig into in the next iceberg video, and the Speedwagon Foundation just baaaaaarely beat out MKULTRA. Frankly, after almost six months of researching Victorian occultism and Nazi vampire science, I almost feel like putting together the MKULTRA video would have been easier.
So if you enjoy the work I do here and want to have the opportunity to vote on future topics, see previews of upcoming videos, and lots more, consider becoming a Patreon supporter!
Without further ado, let’s start out with the top of the iceberg. The Speedwagon Foundation is a privately endowed scientific research foundation established in 1910 by oil tycoon Robert E. O. Speedwagon, with the stated mission of advancing medical science and conserving the natural environment.
In those days you could still be an oil tycoon who cared about the environment, because they hadn’t invented global warming yet.”
February 27, 2021 • Helpful (3)
Baffled and Alarmed
[3 stars] Former Employee • Anonymous Employee
[Recommends] [Neutral Outlook] [No opinion of CEO]
Pros
Decent pay, decent benefits. At least where I was in admin. Fantastic in-house healthcare coverage. Lavish holiday parties. Collaborative work environment for the most part, & many opportunities for growth. Remote work friendly.
Cons
Look. I don't know how to say this tactfully, and I'm aware that by including this this review may get taken down and for all I know they'll find and sue me about it, I don't know how the Speedwagon Foundation handles this sort of thing and I left before I found out. But it's not until you're deep into reviewing the finances that you realize that despite the fact that we spend massively on environmental conservation and rehabilitation products, not even to mention the medical research, somehow the most insane money churn is happening in, of all things, the supernatural division? Which I'd known existed before I started looking into it, but I’d always thought was some sort of esoteric vanity project of the founder’s. He was pretty eccentric.
Instead it turns out it's a black hole of money that nobody, and I mean nobody, would give me a straight answer about no matter how much probing I did. So if you value transparency and legality(?) don't work here.
Also, a bit of a boys' club, especially when I first started. That's improving slowly but they're still behind the standard for the industry.
Advice to Management
I hope you're not doing money laundering. Hire more women.
“Continuing down to our second layer, Robert E. O. Speedwagon’s personal history is actually pretty mysterious. Mr. Speedwagon was born in London in 1863; we do know he was actually, seriously christened Robert E. O. Speedwagon. There’s a record of his baptism and everything. This does mean that Mr. Speedwagon predates the automotive, which was invented in 1886, so I can only assume his last name is in reference to somebody’s really tricked-out wooden carriage.
Mr. Speedwagon arrived in the United States in 1892 without a penny to his name and apparently without having ever completed any formal education. Oh, and for the record, I used the biography Son of a Poor Man by Neal Doughty for most of this research, shoutout Neal. Other sources are listed in the Pastebin in the description.
After Mr. Speedwagon’s death in 1956, archival research through the records of the London Metropolitan Police uncovered that he had actually been a recurring person of interest in relation to a series of muggings that took place around the famously rough neighborhood of Ogre Street between 1883 and 1888. So, like, I’m not alleging anything, but it definitely seems possible that he came to the United States because he was on the run from the law. Which I respect! That’s a proud American tradition right there.
Even crazier than that, though, is the fact that at one point, Mr. Speedwagon was a witness to a mysterious death! Unrelated to the muggings. Probably. In 1888, a Mr. George Joestar was murdered by, uh, what is described in the police report as a ‘damned creature from Hell,’ with none other than our very own Robert E. O. Speedwagon listed as one of the witnesses interviewed about the event. You could put fuckin’ anything in a police report back then, huh?
Oh, and remember the name Joestar. This isn’t the last time we’ll be hearing it.”
[A visibly nonbinary twentysomething entirely bundled in a knit sweater is greenscreened to stand in front of grainy news footage, which seems to depict a violent midair exchange between two blurry figures. Their captions cover the original Egyptian Arabic chyrons.]
“As you all know, I’ve found some weird shit at my internship this summer, but this news footage some woman taped in the late 80s and just left to gather dust really takes the cake. Like, okay, we could talk about the flying brawl that’s apparently happening, but that speaks for itself, I think. What interests me is the helicopter in the corner of the clip I’ve pulled for you guys, right over hereish. Do you see that logo? It’s a little hard to make out, but it definitely says SPW. As in the Speedwagon Foundation. Why does the Speedwagon Foundation have black helicopters? Why were they flying them in Cairo during some sort of supernatural showdown? Could it have something to do with the recently declassified files from the 60s we were discussing last week? Tell me what you think in the comments!”
@riddleswiselyexpounded
In case you were ever unsure whether the Speedwagon Foundation was suspicious… #conspiracy #speedwagon #spw #speedwagonfoundation #speculation #suspicious #cairo #psychicresearch #mkultra
4305 [likes] 231 [comments] 47 [shares]
[A figure dressed in all black and lit such that their face is in shadow lip syncs dramatically along to the audio. The words “how I feel when the Speedwagon Foundation doesn’t answer my emails” are overlaid in bold text over the video.]
Audio: [trending clip of Taylor Swift’s “Enchanted” containing the lyrics “Please don’t be in love with someone else”]
@snapchatmyheart
#Trends #TikTokTrends #PleaseDontBeInLoveWithSomeoneElse #TaylorSwift #SpeedwagonFoundation #SPW #AnswerMyEmails
73 [likes] 5 [comments] 14 [shares]
[A middle-aged woman with several strings of beads around her neck and a selection of crystals arranged on the car dashboard beside her speaks directly into the camera. The Walmart parking lot visible in the background is deserted, and it’s dusk.]
“There was a second shooter. And he was financed by the Speedwagon Foundation. They had to kill him. The Speedwagon Foundation was—and still is!—conducting secret supernatural research on anyone they can find. Unsolved disappearances? That’s them! They kidnap people off the streets to use them in experiments, and then wipe their memories. Go check out heyheyhelenhelen on this app if you want to learn more- she was a victim when she was younger, she’s told her story a few times and it brings me to tears every time. And Kennedy was going to expose their crimes and put a stop to them! So they put out a hit on him. And killed him. And got away with it. But not forever. We’re coming for you, Speedwagon.”
@tropicaloveland
I was enlightened to the truth about JFK by this brilliant documentary on youtube: youtu.b…
#speedwagonfoundation #speedwagon #spw #jfkassassination #kennedyassassination #secondshooter #truth
536 [likes] 31 [comments] 5 [shares]
“The water is getting a little darker now as we descend into ‘things that the Speedwagon Foundation might not be actively trying to cover up, but would definitely prefer that you not know about.’ One thing in particular. One thing that existed in Europe, between the years 1920 and 1945, with which the Speedwagon Foundation collaborated on some highly questionable archeological projects.
You can see here on the iceberg we’ve got ‘don’t ask the Speedwagon Foundation what they were doing in 1930s Germany.’ Yikes!
Now, this isn’t on the level of being a Fanta or Volkswagen type of situation, fortunately, but ‘only collaborated with the Nazis a little bit’ is still… not… great.
As you might know from hit historical documentary Raiders of the Lost Arc, the Nazis were real big into occult shit, mostly rooted in existing strands of German nationalist esotericism. One particular Nazi scientific research division infamous for its interest in the occult conducted a series of unlicensed archeological digs in Latin America and Europe from 1938 to 1940. They coordinated with the Speedwagon Foundation for funding and information-sharing several times.
We still don’t know just what they were looking for on these digs… or if they ever found it. The Speedwagon Foundation terminated the relationship in late 1940, on the commencement of the London Blitz.”
The Speedwagon Foundation [verified]
@SPWFoundation
Today marks the SPW’s 111th anniversary. What an incredible century plus it’s been! See below for a happy birthday video roundup of our most meaningful accomplishments as an organization.
8:11 AM • Oct 20, 2021 • Twitter Web App
491 Retweets 28 Quote Tweets 2907 Likes
|
Sophie!! @someofthesedayss • 31m
“accomplishemnts” lol what about the oil money. environmental contributions my ass
[replies] 4 [retweets] 0 [likes] 3 [views] 155
|
king of being baffled @variouspositions • 14m
Just because they were founded by an oil tycoon doesn’t mean they can’t do good. Even the worst people have made positive contributions to the world, and the SPW Foundation is FAR from the worst. Be grateful they’re doing good with their fortune.
[replies] 9 [retweets] 6 [likes] 4 [views] 338
|
Sophie!! @someofthesedayss • 3m
are u gonna try and excuse the probable destruction of priceless aztec cultural artifacts as well lmao
[replies] 1 [retweets] 0 [likes] 1 [views] 27
|
Verified Earthling @therearespidersonmars • 4h
Declassify your proof of extraterrestrial life RIGHT NOW. This can still end peacefully.
[replies] 0 [retweets] 0 [likes] 1 [views] 61
“Now we’re getting down to the real strange shit. The Speedwagon Foundation has, in among normal stuff like Cancer Research and Ocean Conservation, a division dedicated to Supernatural Research.
What does that mean? I’d love to know too! The Speedwagon Foundation has always been pretty evasive about what, if anything, the Supernatural Research Group actually does. But it definitely exists, at least on paper.
We do know that while the organizational structure of the Speedwagon Foundation has changed and evolved a lot over the years, like you would expect, the existence of a ‘Supernatural Research Group’ was specified in the organization’s original charter by Mr. Speedwagon himself. So maybe they just keep a door with that name on it because their insane billionaire founder said they had to; I don’t know.
The same charter also specifies that the “resources and manpower” of the Supernatural Research Group are to always be made available to, quote, “any member of the Joestar family who may require them.” See, I told you we’d be hearing the name Joestar again.
The Joestar family is formerly a minor British aristocratic family who Mr. Speedwagon evidently had some acquaintance with in England, given he was a witness to its patriarch’s weird, weird death, and all. Joseph Joestar, founder of Joestar Realty Group, re-established the family in the United States in the 1940s; at this point, it probably won’t surprise you to learn that Mr. Speedwagon was also Joseph Joestar’s godfather.
Whether famous violator of New York campaign finance law Joseph Joestar ever had reason to need the supernatural research resources of the Speedwagon Foundation is unclear.”
Episode 56.5: Ham Wizards [PREVIEW]
[11:38]
In today's bonus episode, we'll be taking you on a journey through the history of a magic breathing pseudoscience supposedly originating in Tibet but mainly practiced by mysterious Italian twinks. There's vampire hunters. There's secret Venetian islands. There's Robert E O Speedwagon. Strap in, folks, because we've got a wild one this week.
As always, subscribe on Patreon for access to the full episode and all our previous bonus episodes.
“We’re well into the dark water now, buggles, and into where I have to start being a little careful what I say. So everything here is unconfirmed, and alleged, and I’m sure the Speedwagon Foundation has never had anyone disposed of in the New York harbor. Okay? Okay.
The Speedwagon Foundation has connections with the Italian mafia. Allegedly.
For obvious reasons, this is all rumor only, but they do keep doing things that look really… really corrupt. In 2002, they bought out every ticket at a formerly sold-out football game in Naples, famously the home base of the Passione crime family, for no apparent reason. And like… okay, maybe that’s all above board. But I doubt it! I mean, personally, as a private citizen, who isn’t alleging anything, just stating my opinion. That seems a little suspicious.”
four-seasons-total-manscaping reblogged insurancefraud4
swamp--ophelia Follow
To celebrate the end of pride month and the beginning of rage month, I’ll be spending each day of july enumerating the crimes of what I like to call cinderella corporations. By which i mean corporations whose rainbow logos fall right off at the stroke of midnight on July 1st, obviously.
And this July, we’ll be starting off strong with the [dun dun dun] Speedwagon Foundation!
- Starting with the obvious, literally founded by an oil magnate. r e o speedwagon was literally just doing what every robber baron in the day did and putting his name on positive-seeming things so rich people would like him. Actually they still do this they’re just called CEOs instead of robber barons
- On a wilder note, actually for-real cited in disclosed military files from the 60s on psychic research. You know, normal shit for an environmental conservation organization to be involved with. The US military
- SEVERAL financial scandals throughout the years. Par for the course for rich people obviously and I’ll be going into a few of them in a bit more detail later but like wow. They profess to exist to help the world but rich women are buying designer clothes with your donations
List continues below the cut! There is so much. There is SO much
Keep reading
jessiesgalpal Follow
ok i dont know about any of the other stuff here but robert e o speedwagon was DEFINITELY gay so
swamp--ophelia Follow
Diversity win this nazi collaborator was gay. Did you even read my post
internationaleinternational Follow
i love that not a single source was cited here but op expects us to take their word as gospel. go to english class. and while youre at it, get off tumblr and do some real communism
swamp--ophelia Follow
Whats that i hear them saying about the devil’s sacrament, tumblr user internationaleinternational?
invisible-emporium Follow
it’s true spw has a pretty questionable history sometimes but they’re not all bad. or even mostly. in fact they really helped me and my friends out in a really awful situation, and now that jolyne’s involved they’re doing a lot of prison abolition activism and lobbying and stuff. which is good!! they got a whole bunch of private prisons shut down last year, you can read about it here and here. and here’s an article about the behind-the-scenes logistics and research work they’ve been doing all pandemic
also the thing about suzi q joestar was proven to be slander. at least accuse people of real crimes
insurancefraud4
bootlicker spotted
#lol #nazi m #imperialism m #misogyny m #incarceration m #the month of wrath #history #interesting stuff!! #knew my annoyance at their fucking billboards was justified
689 notes
“Going down another level, remember the Joestars? Yeah, we’re still not done with them! As though all the Supernatural Research Group stuff wasn’t weird enough, the Speedwagon Foundation’s charter also mandates that one voting seat on the foundation’s board of directors is always to be held by a member of the Joestar family.
From the foundation’s establishment until 1950 this position was held by Erina Joestar, who seems to have been an actual angel. Seriously. She was pushing the Foundation towards anti-segregation initiatives in the 1920s. She stepped down in 1950, and from then until 1990 the Joestar Seat was occupied by our favorite landlord, Joseph Joestar, who never attended a single board of directors meeting in all forty years. So I’m giving him the ‘not as bad as you could’ve been’ star. Mr. Joestar retired in 1990 and from then until 2014 the position was held by his grandson, Jotaro Kujo, who seems to be… a normal man who lives in Florida and teaches marine biology at Florida International University, and also reportedly never attended meetings.
The current director is Mr. Kujo’s daughter, Jolyne Cujoh, who was convicted of murder in 2011, though the conviction was later vacated with new evidence. Whether the extremely wealthy and potentially mob-affiliated NGO apparently beholden to her family had anything to do with that is anyone’s guess.
Ms. Cujoh is the first Joestar since Erina to actually be active in the position, which has provoked what was reported in Forbes as, quote, “general consternation in charity circles.”
Which I think is awesome. Good for her. Hope she’s having fun.”
r/SpeedwagonFoundation • 4 days ago
u/thingsareswingin
Did This Really Happen?
I’m Canadian but my great grandpa (generally miserable and unpleasant man, finally drank himself to death last year) grew up in Germany, and when he was young he was a radio operator under this specialty scientific research division in the army. He had a bunch of stories he used to tell me esp when he’d been drinking but there’s one that always stuck with me because it’s just so completely insane, and I was wondering if there’s any documentation or anything anyone can point me to that might prove or disprove it.
He said that in the middle of one night in early 1939- can’t remember if he said February or January- he was scrambled along with the rest of his unit to head to some remote part of northern Switzerland on really short notice. His commander fitted them all out with these special backpack rigs with super powerful spotlights attached. He said they were from the Speedwagon Foundation, which is why I’m posting this here.
Here’s where the story gets sort of blurry (like I said, I heard it a lot of times, but never when he was sober). He said that when they reached their destination they found a monster that looked like a man. Guns didn’t work on it, but the lights did, at least at first. And then something happened with a stone mask? And the monster transformed as the sun came up, and stopped looking human at all. He said a lot of his friends were killed.
I always thought he was just rambling, but now that he’s dead I’ve been wondering if there was anything to it. Does anybody know if the Speedwagon Foundation ever worked on any experimental technology that might match this description? Or does any of this sound familiar at all?
u/82ndstreet-bus • 4 days ago
| and what else was your great-grandpa doing in germany in 1939
“We’ve reached the deepest layer. The Speedwagon hadalpelagic zone, as it were. The Speedwagon abyss. Now we’re at the stuff that even the foundation’s current management probably doesn’t know about. And we’re starting this final layer with a hell of an item: Mr. Speedwagon really, genuinely believed in vampires.
The year before the foundation was established, in 1909, Mr. Speedwagon wrote to Erina Joestar that he was thinking of bequeathing the majority of his fortune to establish a foundation that would, quote, “...further the cause of science, improve the condition of all humanity, and of course, above all else, take all pains to ensure the scourge of vampirism is wiped from the Earth.”
If someday the Speedwagon Foundation cures cancer, and it all happened because this one insane British man sincerely believed vampires were real and an urgent threat to the world, I guess I won’t be complaining.”
1,999 Comments
@feedyourhead2x • 4 weeks ago
can’t BELIEVE you just glossed over the fact that the speedwagon foundation has a private swat team
@LeaderOfTheBand • 3 weeks ago
Great video as usual. I bet they;re keeping him in the basement like Walt Disney
@outlandos-damour • 3 weeks ago
DOCTOR KUJO ?????
@bonediggerbonedigger • 4 weeks ago
four and a half hours of video essay and not even a little disrespectful sexuality speculation? what do i even come here for
@dolphinfan71 • 2 weeks ago
The Zeppeli family's association with the Speedwagon Foundation is obviously unrelated to the Speedwagon Foundation's mob ties. Give me a fucking break.