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first, Len was sick for an entire week. every movement led him to feeling like he was going to vomit, and nine times out of ten he was definitely going to vomit if he felt like that.
then he healed. he was able to do regular things like plan out music and have jam sessions with his peers like usual, for about one day. until his throat had a mild sting to it that wasn’t exactly a sore throat but definitely felt like one. he tried drinking water, of course, but it usually never works on sore throats despite what his friends and juniors tell him. so all day he had a mild sore throat. when he looked in the mirror, nothing was wrong. when he felt his own forehead, nothing was wrong. when he got Rin to do it, she said nothing was wrong either. if he can’t pinpoint a source to his misery, it makes him feel worse.
he opens a random classroom door and hops on the desk nearing towards the back. he left the door open in case someone was looking for him, of course. he closes his eyes for a bit, listening to the faint chattering of his peers coming from the main area where they usually gathered, if not in classrooms or the rooftop. he could faintly hear a more human-like voice, so one of the girls had come to see them. he silently hoped that she wasn’t there to search for him specifically, although that might seem narcissistic. he didn’t want to talk to anyone or in general.
so the chatter continued on, and while Len couldn’t make out the general topic of speech, he could tell they sounded happy. and that made him smile. and then he couldn’t hear him anymore, instead hearing a really strong ringing that sourced from somewhere in his head. he was tempted to reach in there and pull it out, the ringing forming into a literal string that probably never ended. as suddenly as it appeared to him, it was gone. now he could hear again. his heart was beating fast and he could feel the same ringing-like feeling but in his brain this time, and instead of sound it made pain. it hurt his head so bad.
it was like Len could pinpoint exactly where the pain was. in the center, down to the back, but on the top. at the peak of the parietal area, but somewhere between the parietal and the temporal lobe. and dear god, it hurt bad. it stings, but it was constant. he can’t tell whether it’s peaking or it’s lowering in intensity, just that it made his head throb and it hurts. it hurts more but the next it hurts more but looking back at it it felt the same to him.
it throbs bad and it felt like his body jolts but it’s practically paralyzed, glued to the desk. one of his legs was over the other. he put them on level and slid off the desk, movements either accentuated or dulled by the throbs. he hates that he can’t pinpoint which. it hurts it hurts it hurts he’s DYING it HURTS he needs ibuprofen and then he realizes the last time he tried ibuprofen he got an allergic reaction and was itchy all over with what basically looked like mosquito bites without the bugs. even blinking made the throbbing hurt. it hurts so bad god help him please he just wants to rest why did it happen it hurts his head hurts all over his throat still hurts it’s overwhelming he’s tired and it feels like he’s dying.
he is purely in pain at the moment, his head is dizzy and he can make out that he’s walking to his friends but focusing on a singular part just hurts his brain so he looks down at the floor. constantly wooden planks. boring but minimizes his headache (or at least it felt like it). he walks away from them, not wanting to talk or interact with anyone. he’ll just wander around, go for a walk until his headache clears up.
10 minutes into wandering made him realize that if he wanted to wait for it to clear up it would take long. he’d be walking for an entire night, and probably even a day. then the realization made the throbbing stronger again. it felt like a metal pot and pan being crashed into eachother with his head in between, or like his head in between those monkeys that bash cymbals together. the ringing in his ears became obvious again.
it hurts and he needs to rest or he would die.
it huuuuuuuuuuuurrrtttss and he would die.
but obviously not. Len wouldn’t die. it just feels like it. it reaaaalllyyy feels like it. just mentally. not physically. it wasn’t like he was kneeling and fading in and out of conciousness, bleeding out on the ground, screaming in agony.
but it definitely felt like it.
but Len knows it isn’t comparable, the two are very different things.
his head is throbbing it hurts so bad his mind is reeling it hurts someone get him ibuprofen nevermind he’s allergic okay it’s fine he’s okay yep definitely is he on the ground he’s nearly on the ground okay.
he toppled over when the throbbing peaked so he leaned into the wall, clutching with his hand before he bashed his head into it although that might stop his headache, it wasn’t viable and would definitely make it worse. tempting to do so to try to get his headache to stop, though.
it just hurts and he doesn’t know when it would stop. in the moment, he’s suffering, but the moment it stops, he’ll forget how it felt. probably. unless the headache was really that bad that he’ll remember the constant, throbbing pain he could feel somewhere in the back of his head.
he sighs. he needs to continue on with his day, one way or another. and one of those ways was to just sleep it off. if he woke up with a headache, it’s bad. real bad. but if it stops after he wakes up, he’ll be happy! yay. no more headache. no more pain in his head that he can’t press on. it’s frustrating. he wants to press his head to temporarily stop it but it doesn’t work because it’s literally in his mind. what is wrong with it.
he walks into the classroom he was in before, still with an open door, but closed it this time. he slumps onto a chair, any chair that was in his reach, and closed his eyes.