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The Simpsons family was returning to the snowy Springfield as it was getting dark. They had left the studio where Jeopardy!was being taped, and where Marge Simpson had lost miserably when trying to win the right amount of money to pay back to the Springfield townsfolk, as since the past Christmas morning, the family had been suffering from bad luck and misfortune. Bart had accidentally burned up the tree and their Christmas presents when trying to get a big head-start on opening gifts from the rest of the family, and then after hiding the evidence he stupidly made up a lie that a burglar had robbed them, to which the Springfield townsfolk learned how miserable the Simpsons family was when Kent Brockman reported about the faux robbery on the daily news and donated money to all of them, totaling in $15,000 overall, which Homer ended up blowing on a brand new car that got blown up on the way back from the dealership. But then the truth ended up coming out, and the townsfolk thought they were all scammed, and began shunning the family and acting like pariahs, demanding their money back.
Lisa Simpson moaned in the backseat. "I guess we'd better get used to being pariahs."
"There's no shame in being a pariah," Marge glumly said.
But when they approached their street, Evergreen Terrace, Homer noticed all the townsfolk and their cars in front of their home. "Oh no, there's that angry mob again," he said nervously.
But as they pulled into the driveway, Apu saw them and happily said, "Hey, look who's here, everybody!"
The rest of the Springfieldians waved at the family and were pleasantly greeting them with various "Hello’s" and "Hi’s".
Marge's mood instantly lifted. She put her hand to her chest and said in a relieved voice, "Oh my, they've forgiven us! It's a miracle!" She turned to the rest of the family and explained, "You know, deep down people are pretty goo…" But then she noticed an alarming sight and said "Hey, wait a minute! They're taking our stuff!"
Sure enough, the townsfolk were walking out of the house with the family's possessions. Groundskeeper Willie had their kitchen clock, Miss Hoover had their sailboat painting, Superintendent Chalmers had their den rug, and Hans Moleman was managing to carry their oven.
The family hurried inside the house and was horrified to see everything missing from their den. All that was left was a snapped electrical cord and the wire and nail the sailboat picture hung on. Marks on the wall were left from where the painting and couch were. "Good lord!" Marge exclaimed.
Then Police Chief Wiggum walked past them carrying some of Maggie's stuffed animals, humming joyfully to himself. Lenny Leonard attempted to snatch a burning log from the living room fireplace, still burning. "Oh, hot, hot!" he kept saying. "Hot, hot, hot…"
In the kitchen, Jeff Albertson, a.k.a. the Comic Book Guy, was dumping the silverware out of a drawer into his pants, specifically in the groin region, and began to waddle out while keeping the silverware in place. Even Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek was there, and he had his hands full of canned goods from their kitchen!
Krusty the Clown was coming down the stairs, smoking a cigarette and his arms full of prescription pill containers. He told Otto Mann, who was starting to walk up the stairs, "If you're heading for the medicine cabinet, I've already been there." Otto turned around and glumly started back down the stairs.
Ned Flanders was wheeling the barbecue grill Homer had swiped from him out of the house with a smile on his face. Homer saw Moe Syzlak approaching holding a family portrait and tennis racket and asked him, "What the hell's going on?!"
Moe put his left hand on Homer's shoulder and explained, "Well, we hated being mad at you, Homer, so we decided to make things right." Then he walked out the front door.
Apu followed Moe, carrying their dog Santa's Little Helper and their cat Snowball II, much to the family's horror. "Consider your debt repaid," he cheerfully said.
Principal Seymour Skinner came out next, carrying the family's fish tank, accompanied by Edna Krabappel carrying the family's TV cable box and rabbit ear antennas. "And then some!" Skinner grinned.
That was the last of the townsfolk to rob the family's possessions, and the door shut, leaving the family alone in their vacant house, all empty-handed, with markings against the wall where their stuff formerly was. The family all sadly walked into the empty living room and sat on the floor, except Marge, who remained standing up.
Marge began, "Look, I know this has been a stressful holiday. But, in a way, having nothing… reminds us of how lucky we really are."
"What?" Lisa bitterly asked.
"We still have each other," Marge said, trying to sound upbeat. "And isn't that the best gift of all?"
"But we would've had each other anyway," Lisa said, more annoyed.
"Yeah," Bart agreed, "and lots of other stuff."
Homer got up and glumly said, "And now, we must wait to die. With nothing left, no money, no food, and no TV or beer, we can't go on like this."
Bart now appeared sad as well. He shed a tear and said, "I'm really, really sorry I brought this upon us all. If it wasn't for my greediness at Christmas, we'd all still be a happy family with our stuff we need to live. We just take them for granted because they're always there. I've done a lot of bad things in my life, and I guess I'm finally paying the price. So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to climb up into my treehouse and die alone and first…" He got up and started walking toward the backyard.
"Bart!" Marge scolded, and Bart returned to them. "What did I just say? I do agree that we're all going to die very soon, but at least we can die together as a family."
"What about Dad's job?" Lisa asked.
"Forget it," Homer explained. "I got fired from work again, because Mr. Burns thinks I didn't warn anyone about the radioactive air leaking through the nuclear plant. Stingy no-good boss of mine…"
Lisa gulped and wiped away a tear. "I guess… this is really it, then. It's the end of our lives and adventures."
"Unless we can move?" Bart said hopefully.
"Well, no," Homer sadly explained. "Nobody in Springfield is going to want to house us anyways, and there is no way we can even afford a hotel room. This is all we've got left."
"So, what's gonna happen to us?" Bart asked uncertainly.
Homer glumly looked at Marge and said, "Well, I guess we'll all be dying together… but we'll all be together anyways."
Marge sobbed a little and agreed, "He's right. Even in death, we'll all stay together forever." She went around and started turning off the lights, followed by turning the thermostats down all the way to zero. "We won't be able to pay the next electricity or heating bills, so we may as well make our final days go by more quickly and painlessly," Marge explained as she returned into the living room. They all huddled together and put their hands around each other.
"I'm sorry, Lis," Bart said in a low, sad voice.
"Apology accepted," Lisa said, giving Bart a smile and a hug.
"We'll always love each other," Marge sadly said with her right arm around Bart and her left arm around Homer.
Then Homer sniffled and whispered, "Goodbye…"
They all huddled even closer and closed their eyes, enjoying the embrace of each other. They never got up again.
Some days later, as the outside world was continuing as normal, the Simpson family all died. It happened on the same day. Homer succumbed first, followed by Maggie, then Bart, then Lisa, and finally Marge, who was awaiting her departure into the hereafter. The day after that, Ned Flanders decided to take a peek in their living room window to see how his neighbors were doing, only to be saddened among seeing their lifeless bodies heaped over each other, skeletally thin and pale, and Marge's hair grayer now. He went inside to check for sure, but there was no denial. The Simpson family was dead. Ned let out a heavy, sad sigh. He knew what to do next.
The funeral was a fairly quiet affair. Much of the townsfolk that robbed the family of their possessions were there, feeling very guilty of what had happened. Even Reverend Timothy Lovejoy tried his hardest to not break down and cry during his eulogy. Nobody wanted to come up and say anything else. Each family member was buried, side by side, in the Springfield Cemetery, very close to the graves of Bleeding Gums Murphy, Beatrice Simmons and Frank Grimes.
Eventually as the days, weeks and months wore on, the Springfield townsfolk got over their guilt and grief, and continued on with their lives. But Moe Syzlak was so depressed about stealing some of the family's possessions and being partly responsible for their demise that he hung himself at his tavern one night, something he had planned to do on Christmas morning.
THE END