Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a calm day on the planet of Coruscant in a galaxy far, far away. At least, that's what the view of an outsider would think if they didn't step foot on the planet's massive city. Thousands of speeders zoomed through the busy afternoon traffic's rush hour, and thousands of skyscrapers twinkled in the twin suns, with hundreds of people roaming the streets surrounding them.

Near the capital buildings of the Republic, the Jedi Temple stood abroad in the sunny horizon, overlooking the city. Most of the Jedi were away on assigned missions to fight the on-going war with the Separatists, however, two notable Jedi (or one Jedi-in-training), had returned the week prior from a grueling mission to rest and wait for their next assigned mission.

Anakin Skywalker was frantically looking around his quarters for his misplaced lightsaber. He had planned to go out on some "errands" for Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, at least, that's what his Padawan, Ahsoka, thought. What he really was doing was going out for a long-awaited date with his secret wife, Senator Padmé Amidala of Naboo. Nobody, not even Ahsoka or Obi-Wan, knew about the forbidden relationship between the Jedi Knight and the Senator.

"Snips!" Anakin called from the kitchen of the quarters he shared with Ahsoka, which he was opening, closing, and reopening the cupboards in a desperate attempt to look for his misplaced lightsaber. Yes, Anakin had lost it, again.

Ahsoka, meanwhile, had locked herself away in her bedroom, flipping through the latest Coruscant Beauty HoloMag she had received in the HoloMail the day before on her bed. She had headphones on as she listened to her favorite rock band playlist, not hearing Anakin's calls down the hall.

"Snips!" Anakin called again back in the kitchen as he opened the cabinet under the sink and tossed all the cleaning supplies behind him, as a last resort to track down his lightsaber, although that would've been a ridiculous spot to leave it.

Yet again, no response.

"For the love of the Force, where is she?!" Anakin grumbled as he headed down the hall.

"Ahsoka!" he shouted as he pounded on her bedroom door.

Inside, Ahsoka thought that she had heard her name muffled through her headphones. She looked up at her door across the room, shrugged, and then started admiring a female human model with an outfit she liked.

As she inspected the models in the HologMag, she realized how flawless all of their skin was, no white markings were on their cheeks or forehead, like Ahsoka, thanks to being a Togruta. The human girls had perfectly styled hair in the absence of lekku sprouting from the top of their heads.

Ahsoka ran a finger across her forehead over her birth markings. If only there was a model who looked like her or her people.

Meanwhile, Anakin lingered outside.

"Ahsoka, I mean it! Open the door!"

Not looking up from her HoloMag, she sensed Anakin's presence, sighed, tossed off her headphones, and casually lifted her hand to use the Force.

Woosh. The door slid open.

About time! Anakin thought. He slipped inside his Padawan's room, finding her sprawled out on her bed.

"Hey, Skyguy. What's up?" Ahsoka asked, focusing on her HoloMag.

"I've been calling you for the past five minutes, Ahsoka. Why didn't you respond?" Anakin replied sternly with his arms crossed.

"Sorry, Master. I didn't hear you. Do you need something?" Ahsoka asked carelessly. She had her eyes set on the faces of all the models on the page she was looking at, realizing how different she looked compared to them.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I've lost my lightsaber, and I'm running late for an important errand, have you seen it?"

"Nope. Check your room," Ahsoka said tonelessly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Anakin asked, now starting to feel worried, realizing the shift in Ahsoka's cherry mood from earlier at lunch.

Finally, Ahsoka looked up from her lap.

"Nothing, I'm fine, Master. I'm sorry for being rude. Thanks for your concern, though," the Togruta teen lied, still not meeting his eyes. "By the way, you dropped your lightsaber behind the couch when we were watching TV yesterday. I meant to get it, but then I got a HoloCall from Barriss and forgot about it."

Anakin was not fooled by his Padawan. He sensed her sadness and insecurity rubbing off of her.

He looked at the alarm clock on Ahsoka's nightstand and sighed. He was now nearly half an hour late, and it would take him an additional ten minutes, without traffic, to arrive at Padmé's apartment.

As much as he wanted to reach out and figure out what's wrong with Ahsoka, he needed to leave.

"Alright, Snips, I need to go. Thanks for informing me. You'll be alone tonight for dinner, is that okay with you?"

The young girl nodded meekly, obviously distracted.

"I left some credits for you on the table for the mess hall, or you can help yourself in the kitchen. You know the drill." He turned to leave, but then stopped at the door. "I should be back in a couple of hours. If you get lonely, you can have Barriss over. She just returned from her mission last night and I'm sure she would like to see you."

"Okay, thank you, Master," Ahsoka sighed.

"See you later, Snips," Anakin said.

And with that, he left, the automatic door sliding shut behind him, leaving Ahsoka alone to her thoughts.

Chapter Text

Sighing, Ahsoka slowly swung her legs off of her bed and dropped to the floor, stretching to work out the kinks in her joints. She turned back to close the HoloMag when she caught sight of the models on the page she had left off on again. She couldn’t help but notice the small, perfect details of the girls’ appearance. Each of them had, to Ahsoka’s prior attention, had flawless, clear skin, clear eyes on their determined faces that glowed fiercely in the photo lighting of the HoloMag, and a thin, curvy frame for each of them.

Ahsoka picked up the HoloMag once again, inching it closer to her face. She inspected the models closer this time, how each of them dramatically posed in the HoloGraphs on each page, how each of them had perfectly styled hair and makeup. That’s when it hit her – none of these girls looked anything close to her.

I don’t look like them...Ahsoka thought to herself. I wish that I could look like them sometimes.

She looked over her shoulder to look at herself in the reflection of her full-length mirror to the back of her wardrobe door. She turned, carefully inspecting every inch of her appearance. She was dressed in a burgandy-red top with medium-brown leggings, completed with her top enclosing her waist with a form-fitting skit and her belt where her lightsabers usually hang when she was out of her room. Ahsoka attempted each of the positions that she has observed the models in the HoloMag do. Awkwardly, as if there was someone watching behind her, she attempted to mimic the pose of the first human model with pale skin and blonde hair on the HoloMag with her weight placed on her left leg and her right arm on her hip as she lightly bent her knee. Flushing red, Ahsoka realized how foolished she looked doing the position herself – she looked nothing like the model and realized how hideous the position made her look.

“My lekku look too big for this pose,” she whispered to herself, frowning as she relaxed her stance. She turned to her side, placing a hand over her abdomen. “And my stomach looks horrible, I look bloated.”

Ahsoka looked at her reflection for a few moments, walking up closer to the mirror, her face inches from the glass. Small blemishes were visible across her cheeks and forehead, along with her birthmarks. Ahsoka was well-aware that acne was an incredibly common thing for the typical teenager, expect she was damn well aware that she was no typical teenager and none of the other girls had acne like her in that HoloMag. The average teenage girl like her traditionally liked to gossip and talk about her crushes with her friends, held sleepovers with girls giggling and giving each other makeovers and painting each other’s nails, and had the occasional date and late nights cruising along in a speeder. She had never experienced any of that in her 16 years of existence. Even worse, the Jedi were forbidden to form attachments with those they loved, so for the rest of her life she would never get to experience the pleasures of a first date, or even a first love. Her secret crush on Lux Bonterri had already crossed the lines of the Jedi Code, she couldn’t let herself get out of control, even when her own insecurities and feelings got the better of her. Having to conform her identity to the ways of the Order was incredibly overwhelming for her sometimes. She often wanted to experience her own interests and style, yet was limited by the Code. Be compassionate, yet don’t get attached. Be strong, but don’t be breakers of the peace.

What are you even thinking? She thought to herself, smacking her forehead on the mirror that was bolted to the door. There are people dying out there and in the battles that you have fought in, and yet you’re worried about your stupid appearance. I am a Jedi, well, soon will be. We are keepers of the peace, protectors of the galaxy. We serve to protect those who are in the most of need.

Keepers of the peace, we are, she recalled Master Yoda teaching her and her classmates in a Jedi Code lesson back in her days as a Youngling. She looked up to Master Yoda and found him to be a great source of advice for complying and embracing the lifestyle of the Jedi. Yet, ever since she had become a Padawan and began fighting in the Clone Wars, that lifestyle was difficult for her to apply. If Jedi truly were keepers of the peace, then why was she serving as a Commander alongside Anakin for Rex and his brothers of the 501st? Why is it, at the ripe age of 14, she began fighting in battles of her own, seen her own soldiers die in front of her, and the torment and suffering the war brought to the innocent people who were caught in the middle of her battles. This wasn’t peace, this was war. But at the same time, she was a keeper of the peace. The whole ordeal didn’t make sense to her in moments like these.

After catching herself getting caught up in her own thoughts, Ahsoka let out a long breath. She had to get out of her stuffy quarters and clear her head a bit. Perhaps Barriss will be in the mess hall and they could hang out for a bit for the night later that evening. But first, Ahsoka had to go speak with the first person who came to her mind to these kinds of things. Not someone within the Order, but an outside ally, someone who she saw to be an experienced mentor who could guide her.

“But who?” Ahsoka questioned herself, sitting down at the edge of her bed again, placing her face into her hands. Barriss and her were friends, but she didn’t feel comfortable having this kind of conversation with her. Ahsoka liked to have her own sense of privacy, even though she was pretty sure that Barriss would understand some of what she was experiencing. Talking about this kind of stuff with Anakin was out of the question, there was no way in hell he would understand. She needed someone she saw as a mentor and a friend, someone that she could confide in who could also offer her a sense of comfort and advice.

“Padme,” she whispered, as she jumped to her feet, snatched her lightsabers, and exited the room.

Chapter Text

Padme was waiting at the front steps of her balcony when Anakin came zooming onto the small landing pad in front of her. Anakin finally arrived at Padme’s apartment. As expected, the late-afternoon traffic had been terrible, and he was over half an hour late to his agreed time to meet up with Padme.

“Hey,” Anakin said breathlessly as he hastily parked the speeder and climbed off, rushing towards Padme.

“Late again, I see,” she teased, playfully crossing her arms with a hint of mischief in her eyes. She lifted her eyebrows with a hint of amusement on her face.

“Sorry, couldn’t find my damn lightsaber and Ahsoka was being her usual self – unhelpful in finding it with me.”

“So where did you end up finding it, in your laundry basket again?”

“You won’t believe me if I told you. What matters now is that I am with you, and we can be alone, together,” Anakin smiled as he stepped closer towards his wife and lifted her up into a warm hug.

“I’ve missed you, Ani,” Padme sighed as they embraced.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Anakin replied as he felt the warmth of his wife against his chest.

They held each other in silence for a few moments, taking in each other’s scent and presence as the sun progressively set behind them and the skyscrapers of Coruscant, the hum of speeders and traffic zooming in the distance.

“Come on, I have dinner prepped for us inside,” she said warmly after they broke apart.

“I will take anything but Theerpio’s cooking,” Anakin joked.

“Oh, stop it, he’s only a droid. There’s only so much he can do,” Padme smirked, draping an arm around Anakin’s shoulders as she gently guided him inside.

As they moved into the apartment, Anakin felt his chest feel flutter with love and care for his wife. Since the outbreak of the war—and, really, for the entirety of their secret marriage—moments like these had become rare, almost some sort of a luxury, even; Moments where neither had to be preoccupied with political or military tasks or face the anxiety of being caught being intimate with one another, for they both knew that Anakin could lose his position as a Jedi Knight if caught and Padme’s reputation as a respectable Senator.

Anakin, guided by Padme, strolled into the kitchen of Padme’s luxary apartment. Despite the prescence of the cleanly polished, white floors and expensive interior, Anakin felt at home in Padme’s apartment, despite his simple Jedi robes and robotic right arm that he kept covered up by a glove. In fact, anywhere in the entire galaxy with her felt at home. He knew that in this moment, he was meant to be here, and nowhere else.

“Come, let’s sit, Ani,” Padme smiled, pulling out a chair for him at the lavish dining room table. Anakin gratefully sat as Padme took a seat across from him.

“Thanks.”

“So, how’s Ahsoka?” Padme asked, taking a sip from her wine glass filled to the brim with fresh water.

“Overall, I think she’s doing pretty good. I’ve been working on some improved fighting techniques with her. She’s recently started using two lightsabers, which is quite impressive for any Jedi, especifally considering her age,” Anakin said as he began to prepare his plate for Theerpio to eventually come out and serve them.

“What’s she up to tonight? Does she know you’re out?”

“Yeah, told her I’m out running “errands”. She’ll be okay, I left her some credits to go to the mess hall with Barriss Offee. Those two have grown close in the past few months since our mission to Geonoisis.”

“I’m glad that she has someone to call a friend. It must be difficult sometimes finding the time to befriend someone while keeping on top of Jedi training and being in command of battles every other day.”

“I’m glad, too. I do worry about her sometimes, though,” Anakin sighed.

“How so?” Padme gave him a curious look.

“It’s just...I don’t know. I trust her with my life in battle and she’s been doing really well as a Padawan, but there’s other things that seem so innocent compared to the other things that she deals with on an almost daily basis. Like, today, as I was leaving and saying goodbye to her in her quarters before I arrived, she was stuck looking at this fashion HoloMag, Snips couldn’t take her eyes off it. It was like she was glued to the glow of the models and the articles of clothing that they were displaying,” he explained.

“Well, you have to remember, Ani, she is still a teenager. It’s normal for teen girls to be into fashion and makeup at this age, even if she doesn’t openly express it.”

Anakin nodded. “Yeah...but it just surprises me. Ahsoka doesn’t typically seem to be into...you know...that kind of stuff. She likes being in battle and being around the boys. Actually, most of the time she’s the only girl on our missions that’s her age.”

As he was speaking, Theerpio appeared and brought out the main courses of the meals. After he left the room, Anakin continued as he and Padme dug into their food.

“I was surprised to discover this recent interest of her’s into HoloMags, she only started subscribing and reading them a few weeks ago. Since then, she’s been cooped up in her room and I’ve accidentally walked in on her looking at her reflection in her mirror to those of the models in the HoloMag’s. I’m worry about her sometimes doing things like that. I worry about the pressures of all these stupid beauty standards nowadays have on girls like Ahsoka.” He placed down his utensils and anxiously looked at his wife. “I just don’t know what to do, Padme. Ahsoka is like a sister to me, and I feel so lost in this kind of stuff with stuff teen girls like and how they act. I sometimes feel that I can’t support her since I’ve never had these types of experiences growing up...”

Padme was silent for a few moments, taking delicate bites of her food before looking back up at Anakin.

“Anakin, I think that you’re a wonderful Master and mentor for Ahsoka.” She reached across the table and took his hand, holding it tightly. “She’s incredibly lucky to have you in your life. I know you originally didn’t want her as your Padawan, but I think you deeply care for her and you’re thankful to be her teacher.”

Anakin inhaled a breath, averting his eyes away from the table.

“It’s just...I just feel like I can’t be there for her when she needs someone. She doesn’t have many people easily accessible her age to talk about this kind of stuff with. I feel like I will fail her sometimes,” Anakin said, a large lump in his throat forming.

“Ani, look at me,” Padme said quietly.

He finally turned to her.

“You will not fail Ahsoka. Like I’ve said, you’ve trained her incredibly well. There will be some areas where it’ll be difficult to navigate with her, but that’s normal and I know that you two will overcome them. And if you’re ever worried about her feelings of self-esteem and loneliness, you know you can always send her over here. I’d love to have her company, and I will need to eventually teach her how to beat me in a game of Holochess,” Padme smiled.

Anakin let out a snort. “Yeah, I can’t really teach her that, can I?”

“You’re miserable at Holochess. Now, let’s eat, okay?”

“That sounds lovely, I’m starving!”

And with that, they fully dug into their meal. Padme and Anakin exchanged stories about the events that happened during each other’s absence. Padme recalled the hilarious story of Senator Organa accidentally falling asleep during a general session and Anakin recounted moments throughout his latest mission with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka where they all got on each other’s nerves. As they progressed through the meal, Threepio returned to clear the plates and brought out the dessert courses.

Little did they know about their unexpected visitor that they were going to receive.

Chapter Text

Ahsoka exited her quarters and out into the quiet hallway of the Jedi Temple. Lightsabers attached to her hilts and comm charged, she was ready to head out into the city. Since it was a Friday night, she was aware that the streets and shops will be busier than usual as people often took up the chance to go out their families once they got home from work or school for the day. She wasn’t expecting to use her lightsabers while she was out, but just as a precaution; considering that she is a young teenager going out into the streets alone.

As she boarded her parked speeder in the landing hangar of the Temple, one thing that Ahsoka could expect, though, was being able to pay Senator Amidala a visit. She often was home on Fridays, exhausted after a long week of politics within the Senate. Ever since the outbreak of the Clone War a year and a half ago, she had been slammed with a heavier workload. The demands for her intake on the efforts to pass legislation to continue funding the clone troops for the war and other basic services for the Republic had increased. Often times, Padme spent many days away from her luxurious apartment in the quieter side of the city, either locked in her office reading dense paperwork on her data pads, meeting with fellow Senators, or on the Senate floor debating for hours at a time. It was becoming increasingly difficult for Ahsoka to set aside time to go and arrange a visit with her that wasn’t related to political or military purposes. But knowing that she was close friends with Anakin and with Ahsoka herself, she figured that it wouldn’t help but try to talk to her this time around.

“Call me anytime, Ahsoka, I enjoy your company. Even if I’m out, you can always wait for me to come and see you,” Padme had told Ahsoka the last time they had spent quality time together. That was on Padme’s political mission to Alderaan six months ago when Ahsoka had saved Padme’s life from bounty hunter Aurra Sing’s assassination attempt. Despite the chaos of the mission and the events that unfolded, Ahsoka and Padme had grown closer than ever. Bonding over Holochess, food, and even just talking with one another, Ahsoka had gotten to know Padme personally, rather than just to be Senator Amidala. She felt like she could open up about some of her deepest insecurities, even those she usually kept buried deep inside of her and dared not to share with anyone else, not even Anakin.

Of course, Ahsoka thought as she zoomed over the bright city and traffic below her as she headed towards Padme’s apartment, she trusted Anakin with her life. She knew that he would always have her back, on or off the battlefield, but when it came to these kinds of topics – such as talking about her feelings of growing into a woman, changes to her body, and the insecurities of her appearance – she didn’t think that they were Anakin’s specialty. She trusted Padme more in this field of her growth into becoming a Jedi. Padme was someone Ahsoka thought she could open up to more, someone who was rational and empathetic, rather than hot-headed and impulsive Anakin. Regardless, though, she could never bear the thought of a life without having Anakin there to guide her on her trainings towards becoming a Jedi. What she just needed in this moment was another source of advice – from a different point of view.

After nearly twenty minutes and hefty traffic, Ahsoka arrived to Padme’s apartment complex. She parked in the lower garage deck before entering the main doors in the lobby, swiping her keycard to enter the apartment’s elevators and take her up to Padme’s level. Security was typically tight in the complex, and access to the apartments was limited to those with a restricted pass. Padme had given Ahsoka a copy of the key to get into the complex in case she ever needed her. Ahsoka assumed that she intended it to be for emergencies only, but she shrugged off the thought as the elevator ascended.

Ding. The elevator’s electric chime softly went off, snapping Ahsoka out of her gaze of thoughts. The doors opened and Ahsoka made a right down the hall and stopped at the furthest door to the left. Ahsoka felt her heart pounding in her chest and her feet became increasingly heavy to move with with each step closer towards Padme’s apartment. Ahsoka couldn’t help the feeling that she was walking in at a very wrong time, yet she couldn’t sense why. She could detect Padme’s warm presence as she finally faced the door, her feet glued to the welcome doormat.

Come on, just knock. She said I’m welcome anytime. If it’s not a good time, she’ll just kindly ask me to come back later. Ahsoka rationalized to herself, her hand shaking as she tentatively raised it to knock.

After what seemed like a millennium, Ahsoka sucked up the courage and softly knocked on the front door. A few moments passed in agony, and there was no response. Yet, Ahsoka was determined this time to not give up, she knocked again – this time louder and confidently.

__________

Inside, Padme and Anakin were continuing their meal and had begun to dig into dessert. Threepio had managed to make sweetcakes, implementing the recipe Anakin’s mother used when he was a child. As they bit into the sweet, savory dishes, Anakin was overcome with a sense of nostalgia and comfort. The memories of baking the sweetcakes with his mother as a child all came flooding back to him. He didn’t have many fond memories growing up as a slave on Tatooine, but the little moments in the kitchen with his mother were often the best, even if he couldn’t cook for the life of him.

As for Padme, she was happy to share these new memories with Anakin, her beloved husband, as they sat together, hand in hand, at the table. She often dreamt of the possibility where Anakin and her could raise children of their own, passing down memories and creating new ones together as they all made sweetcakes. In fact, she would love to have Ahsoka included as well. She viewed the young Togruta to be like a younger sister to her, as did Anakin. She recognized how important Ahsoka was to Anakin and she wanted Ahsoka to feel welcome into their future family. Until that time came, it was up to her and Anakin to look after Ahsoka, to raise her to become the Jedi who would lead with grace, strength, and kindness.

“What’s on your mind?” Anakin asked, his voice filled with love and admiration for his wife.

“Oh, just thinking about the future,” Padme said lightly, smiling. “Do you ever think of the future, Ani?”

Anakin leaned in closer to his wife from across the table, hand-in-hand. He used his prosthetic hand to Force-pull another sweetcake onto his and Padme’s plate, his favorite way to amuse her.

“I often do. It’s nothing too particular, but when I do imagine a future, it always has you in it.” Love radiated from his eyes as he gazed upon Padme.

Padme’s smile grew wider. She released her fork and set both hands into Anakin’s. Together, they naturally came towards one another as their lips locked in for a long kiss, the sweetcakes left abandoned as they were lost in the seam of their love for one another.

__________

A few moments after Ahsoka knocked a second time, the door slide open and Threepio came strutting out.

“Ah! Ahsoka Tano! What a pleasure to see you at last! It has been too long,” he exclaimed.

“Hi, Threepio. It’s great to see you, too. Is Padme in? I need to talk to her about some things,” Ahsoka asked.

“Yes, she is. Right this way, follow me,” he gestured, inviting Ahsoka in.

Ahsoka followed behind the tall, golden droid. She was aware that 3-PO was technically Anakin’s, considering that he had been the one to construct him as a child, but he often stayed with Padme in her apartment for additional help. Considering that her Master and the Senator were close, it came no shock to Ahsoka that Anakin would let Padme keep him in her apartment. Anakin had R-2, after all, so it would be unnecessary to have 3-PO with them.

“Miss Padme is just in the dining room. I am sure that she would like to see you, Miss Tano,” 3-PO explained as they headed down the long hallway decorated with high-end interior. The polished marble floor squeaked slightly below Ahsoka’s worn battle boots, making her bitterly wish that she had an additional pair of cleaner ones to change into. She felt like she was a germ infecting this entire apartment. Even though Padme was her friend, she still felt pretty bad intruding on her space and not bothering to make at least an effort to look somewhat presentable. Even if she wasn’t as neat as the girls in the HoloMags, she would appreciate having the option to change up her appearance sometimes.

“Miss Padme, Ahsoka Tano has come to pay you a visit,” Threepio called out as they rounded the corner to enter the dining room.

However, Padme was so lost in her little world as she kissed Anakin to the point that she didn’t realize that she was about to be walked in on.

“Is now not a good time? I can come back later,” Ahsoka inquired as they turned the corner of the hallway, sensing that something was off about this whole thing.

“Miss Padme? I have brought Ahsoka Tano. She’s -- Oh my!” 3-PO exclaimed, stopping dead in his tracks and throwing his arms up into the air. Ahsoka didn’t have the time to stop herself and was surprised at 3-PO's sudden reaction that she accidentally smacked herself as she tripped behind the back of Threepio’s metallic head.

“OW. What the hell, Threepio?” Ahsoka groaned after hitting her face on the back of the droid’s head.

Anakin and Padme jolted apart in a panic, instantly freezing. To their horror, they set eyes on Threepio in the doorway, with, of all people, Ahsoka, right behind him and rubbing her forehead in pain, her head down.

“Ahsoka! What...what are you doing here?” Ahsoka heard Padme ask as the pain seared in her head.

“I’m sorry, Padme, I came to talk to you about something,” Ahsoka said with a strained voice. Her head was throbbing after she hit when she bumped into 3-PO. She slowly looked up towards Padme, her vision becoming focused again. “I can...” She stopped midsentence, realizing who was sitting across from Padme, a hand locked in hers.

To Anakin and Padme’s horror, it was too late to cover up the scene.

“Master?!” Ahsoka cried, her eyes widening, instantly forgetting about her pain and dropping her hand from her head. “What...what are you doing here?”

“Oh dear--” Threepio said.

“Threepio, get out,” Anakin ordered sternly, pointing towards the door. Threepio obeyed without hesitation. He turned back to his Padawan. “Ahsoka, it’s not what you think,” Anakin said in desperation, releasing Padme’s hand and standing up. “I came here to help out Senator Amidala with something--”

“Don’t lie to me, Anakin,” Ahsoka said furiously as heat rushed towards her cheeks. “Explain what in the galaxy I have walked in on.”

“Ahsoka--”

“Don’t “Ahsoka” me, Master,” she snapped. She pointed from Anakin to Padme and back to Anakin again. “What the actual hell is going on here?”

Anakin fell silent, shame evidently written on his face. He eyed Padme, and she nodded.

“Ani, it’s time we tell her the truth,” Padme whispered. “No more lies.”

“What truth?!”

“But--” Anakin protested.

“It’s okay,” Padme reiterated. She slowly rose from the table and approached Ahsoka, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “Ahsoka, come sit down with us, okay?”

Despite her gut screaming at her to leave, Ahsoka didn’t resist and she allowed Padme to gently guided her to sit down. Anakin and Padme sat in the chairs across from her in silence.

“Ahsoka...” Anakin sighed, taking one of her hands from across the table. “There’s something we have to tell you.”

“Something that we should have told you a long time ago,” Padme added, with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Tears welled up in Ahsoka’s eyes. How could Anakin betray her? Keeping this a secret from her the entire time that she was his Padawan. She sometimes suspected that Anakin and Padme were...close, but over time, she had brushed those feelings down and abandoned the such thought that they were possibly together. Now, she realized that her instincts were correct all along, and there was nothing to change that now.

“You see, Ahsoka...Anakin and I are married,” Padme explained when Anakin couldn’t go on.

“How long?” she demanded to know, as her eyes darted between the couple, tears streaming down her face.

Silence followed for a few moments.

“Almost two years now, Snips.”

She death glared at Anakin. “Did you guys...marry before I came along?” She knew damn well that the answer wouldn’t help the situation, but she thought that she deserved the truth – nothing else.

Anakin eyed Padme beside him hesitantly, and she nodded quietly. “Yes, about two months before you were assigned to be my Padawan.”

That didn’t help things at all.

“Why...why did you keep this from me?” she asked in disbelief.

“Do you know how that would look for us, Ahsoka? We’re jedi, we aren’t supposed to form attachments and get married. We just couldn’t help it. One moment we saw each other after a long period of time and then the next...we fell in love.”

“It just happened that easily?”

“Anakin--” Padme said warningly, but Anakin brushed aside his wife’s concern.

“Well...I wouldn’t say it happened easily...but we couldn’t help it, Snips. It just...it just kinda happened, you know?”

Rage boiled within Ahsoka. She shoved her chair aside and stood up, her lekku darkening with fury.

“NO, I DON’T ‘KNOW’ WHAT THAT MEANS, ANAKIN!” she yelled. Anakin flinched at Ahsoka’s outburst, but Padme didn’t move a muscle. Nevertheless, she continued.

“Don’t you know how hard it is to conform to the rules of the Code? Be a keeper of the peace, yet you and I fight on the battlefield every other week. Don’t form attachments, yet we have to be compassionate. Don’t feel anger, hell, I’m already feeling that right now, because you know what you and I grew up hearing: anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the Darkside. Remember how many times you, yes, you, Anakin, have drilled those lessons into my head?”

She fell silent for a moment. Until then, she hadn’t realized how much air she was fighting to get into her chest. Her heart pounded within her chest, a feeling she usually didn’t get until she was about to step out onto the battlefield. Yet, this time, her chest heaved with a greater intensity than any battle she had ever been on.

She looked from Padme, and then back to Anakin, both silent as they soaked in the impact of her words. Padme had begun crying tears of her own, and the usual hint of determinism on Anakin’s face had vanished. But she wasn’t stopping, not until she poured up all of her thoughts into this moment. There was never going to be another opportunity for her to speak these words again – it was now or never – a battlefield of her own beliefs where she was her own opponent against two of the few people she had the deepest trust in.

Ahsoka took in another breath, attempting to steady her own internal conflictions. Her message would never be conveyed if she continued to act out of anger. She had to carefully select which words to say and how to convey them, as this was her only chance to get them out. She turned to look at Anakin again, who’s eyes had begun to fill with hurt and remorse.

“Master, you’ve taught me that being a Jedi is one of the most sacred ways of life and it must be respected. Yes, you may have your own ideas and don’t agree with the entire lifestyle of the Jedi, but it’s not fair for you to tell me how to live my own life in regards to how the Jedi should live when you willingly decide to break the Code and have a marriage of your own! I don’t care what you do, but what I do care about is betraying your own teachings of the Code and drag me down into it by lying about it! That’s what hurts me the most. I would never betray you and tell the Council about you and Padme, but you have hurt me regardless by maintaining this lie for the almost two years you’ve been my Master.” She paused again, breaking away so she can form her own thoughts again, but this time she was so overwhelmed with grief that she couldn’t make out the words to form them into a comprehensive explanation to Anakin and Padme.

Anakin looked over at Padme, who was maintaining her gaze on Ahsoka with careful observation.

Anakin finally had the courage to speak. He stood up and went across the table to her. Ahsoka had buried her face in her hands on the table as she silently shook with tears.

He made his way to her. He looked up at Padme, as if asking permission to intervene. She hastily stood up, wiping the remaining tears off her face with the back of her hand. Despite her tears, the fierce Senator’s makeup had not smudged a bit.

“I’ll be in the other room, Anakin. I want you guys to have some space to talk. Come get me when you’re ready, okay?” she whispered, giving a sympathetic look down to the young Togruta teen.

Anakin nodded silently as Padme turned and exited the dining room, the remainders of her dinner abandoned.

“Snips...” Anakin sighed, as he cautiously placed a comforting arm over Ahsoka and took a seat beside her. “Talk to me, please?”

She hesitantly peaked from the table.

“Here, try one,” Anakin said, reaching across the table towards one of the remaining sweetcakes and handed it to Ahsoka, in a desperate attempt to keep her calm and engaged. “It’s my mother’s recipe. I grew up with these. Well, they’re not exactly like her’s, but they’re similar.”

As if by some miracle, Ahsoka raised her head and accepted the sweetcake. She took a bite, and was immediately overwhelmed with the intense vanilla flavouring of the small pastry. Warmth enclosed her as if she had been dumped into a hot bath, filling the void of darkness and void in her from the previous moments.

“You like them, Snips?”

She nodded quietly in response before taking another bite. That’s when Anakin decided to refocus the conversation.

“I’m sorry, Ahsoka,” he said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. I know that this whole discovery was a big shock to you, and the way it was presented to you wasn’t fair. I hope you understand that.”

Ahsoka sighed and dropped the sweetcake on the empty plate in front of her. She looked down as she formed her words.

“I trust you with my life, Anakin. I trust you more than the entire 501st league and Rex,” she said, slowly. She turned to face him. “Do you know how careful I am at trusting people, especially with my life? I trust you more than I trust anyone else, but I don’t know how much more I can trust you if we continue with holding the truths from each other, and I don’t want that to happen to us.”

Anakin sat there for few moments in silence. He hadn’t realized the true impact of Ahsoka’s trust in him. It came crashing down to him that in that moment he was her lifeline. He still sometimes struggled at grasping the relationship between a Master and an apprentice, but he never would have realized how deep it would have developed in just a year and a half. They were almost always together, having each other's backs on the battlefield, comforting each other in times of need, and so many other countless occasions. But never could he put it into words the truth of their bond. Anakin never knew which words to pluck from the dictionary on how to describe his trust for his Padawan, until she had formed those words herself.

“I...I don’t know what to say, Snips. I never knew how to describe our dynamics, but I think you’ve just said it perfectly,” he said, stunned at how wise someone so young can be.

Ahsoka shrugged. “It’s just how I feel, Master.”

“And you have every right to feel that way, Ahsoka.” He paused again, grappling with his thoughts. “I am sorry that I betrayed your trust tonight. I know how much we rely on each other for support, and if I was blinded by my other responsibilities and didn’t realize you needed me, then I’m sorry.” Anakin moved closer to her. “I trust you more that I probably trust anyone else in the Temple, Snips. I know I don’t always show it, but I appreciate you every day, through every battle and victory. I don’t say that enough, so please, listen to me.”

She turned her full attention to her Master.

“I am proud of you, Ahsoka. Through everything – you've been incredibly strong throughout our time together. The weight of this war has been placed on Padawans as young as you are, yet you’ve managed it a lot better than I think I would’ve at your age. It’s not fair how much the Jedi and the army asks of you sometimes, but you don’t resist and you manage the best of your abilities. You’re not perfect, and I certainly am not, but I am so proud of you in your progress you’ve made in these past few months.

“What I just want to ask from you, Ahsoka, is to please have some patience with me, okay?” Ahsoka interrupted with a snort as she eyed him mockingly. “Yes - I know I suck at having pateince sometimes, but we can work on that together, okay? I’m kinda like a Padawan, too. I’ve never had an apprentice before and this is all new territory for me. But with you, I am willing to chart that territory and learn how to grow into a better Master for you. What I just need from you, is some patience. Do you think we can do that, Snips?” he asked, a hint of hope glimmering in his voice.

There were probably a thousand words that Ahsoka could have said, but all she could muster was a quiet nod. The immaculate weight of Anakin’s words hung over her shoulders, yet they were some of the words she needed to hear the most.

“Do you think we can do that, Snips?” Anakin said quietly.

She looked up at him. The words of hope he spoke lingered in the small distance between them. Ahsoka knew the meaning behind Anakin’s words – it was an offering of reconciliation – something that was a rarity of his, and she wasn’t about to give that up.

“I think we can, Master,” she replied, a faint smile spreading across her face.

And with that, she opened her arms and enclosed Anakin into a hug. Anakin instinctively wrapped his arms around her in return, holding onto her as if she was the one thing keeping her alive. They both breathed sighs of relief. Throughout everything that they had been through together, they had survived, and came out of their ordeals stronger as one. It was as if they were two halves of the Light Side of the Force – a Master and an Apprentice balancing each other out. Neither were stronger than the other, but without each other, they would never have as much of an impact on each other.

Even in this moment, Anakin didn’t see his Padawan as a student – he saw her as his best friend, his younger sister that he never had. Ahsoka was the blessing in disguise that he had been awarded to him in the most unexpected of ways. He originally didn’t want a Padawan at all, but now he thanked the Force that out of all Padawans he could’ve ever received – it was Ahsoka. It was Ahsoka who grounded him, guided him, and supported him through it all. In almost every battle, mission, or even training duels, it was her who was the one who taught him nearly as much as he taught her, and he could never before find the ways to thank her for the lessons that she taught him.

But he could in this moment.

“Thank you, Snips,” he whispered.

Ahsoka leaned against him, holding onto the weight of every second.

“Anytime, Skyguy,” she replied.

For the first time in forever, Ahsoka didn’t feel the weight of the Clone War plaquing her mind. For a minute, she could feel free and safe from the pressures of the Council or as her role as Commander to lead the 501st. In this little world between her and Anakin, it was filled with safety, security, and trust – trust that could never be broken. It was deeper than any trust formed between her friendship with Barriss, or even Rex. This trust that Ahsoka shared with Anakin was indestructible, and nothing could ever tear them apart.

If only moments like those could last forever.

Ahsoka was brought back to her reality once she and Anakin had broken apart upon Padme’s return. Not knowing how much time had passed, Ahsoka found that she didn’t really care. She was willing to forgive Anakin and Padme for their deception about their marriage. After all, that’s what Jedi were for, right? Keepers of the peace. She was willing to accept Padme in a new role in her life, and this time, it was more than just being a friend – but rather as a mentor of her own, someone who she could turn to in times of need and support. Anakin would always be her Master and serve as a sense of guidance within the lives of the Jedi (even if he didn’t always comply to it, new to Ahsoka’s knowledge), and Padme would serve as a mentor in the life of being a citizen in the Galaxy. She now saw Anakin and Padme as a representative force for the guidance she would equally need throughout her training, even if her initial response to this dynamic was not at all accepting.

“Ahsoka...” Padme sighed. “I am so sorry for any pain we caused you.”

Ahsoka took Padme’s hands into hers after stepping closer to her.

“Padme, I forgive you. And Anakin, for all of this. I understand now that you guys just did what you thought was best for all of us, even if it backfired.” She looked over her shoulder and back at Anakin.

“But in all seriousness, Snips, no one else can know about this whole...dynamic...between me and Padme. Or else...I could lose my position as a Knight and as your Master, and Padme could lose her reputation as Senator. We don’t mean to put this pressure on you, but I want you to understand the importance of this, okay?”

She turned back to Padme, a look of anxiety on her face.

“Please, Ahsoka. Please, no one can know.” Ahsoka sensed her worries and her grip on her hands tightened as she tensed up.

Ahsoka nodded in understanding. “I promise, on my life, that I will never tell anyone else. What happens here stays here. Remember, I trust you with my life, right Skyguy?”

Anakin smirked. “Will you ever let go of that nickname?”

“Not a credit’s worth in the galaxy will I ever,” Ahsoka retorted, rolling her eyes. Padme watched in amusement at the two’s interactions.

“You know, Ahsoka, Anakin never told me about the story behind that nickname.”

Ahsoka spun back towards Padme in shock, not before shooting Anakin a playful glare. “Don’t worry. I can tell you alllll about it now.”

“Come on guys, I’m hungry! Let’s eat!” Anakin declared as he heaved himself down at the table again to continue with their meal. He gestured to the chair beside him as Padme sat. “Snips, come eat with us.”

“You’re always hungry, Ani,” Padme said, playfully slapping him on the shoulder.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Ahsoka sat at her place. As Padme and Anakin loaded her plate up with sweetcakes, she didn’t feel like the intruder she was when she arrived at the apartment an hour ago. In the short amount of time that had elapsed, she felt like she had found her own little secret family.

The newly-established family dived into the dessert and into conversation. Padme laughed as Ahsoka recited the story of how Anakin achieved the nickname of “Skyguy”. Anakin rolled his eyes and then added his part of the story where Ahsoka won the nickname of “Snips”. Then the conversation drifted to more serious topics, from the war, to politics, and the current state of the Jedi.

“And that reminds me of something, Ahsoka,” Padme said once they had stuffed themselves full of sweetcakes and retreated to the couch in the living room as they settled into food comas (or, at least Anakin had as he lied back on the couch and snored from exhaustion). “What did you want to originally want to come and speak with me about?”

Ahsoka’s lekku darkened with embarrassment. She had forgotten her intentions for visiting Padme and the whole ordeal they went through made her insecurities seem so pointless now. Of what importance did some simple physical appearances matter when people like Padme and Anakin had to live their lives in secret? When people died on the battlefield and lost their freedoms at an exponential rate daily? There were so many more serious issues plaguing the galaxy right now, in Ahsoka’s opinion, than her little thoughts over her growing body.

Padme sensed her anxiety. “It’s okay, Ahsoka, you can talk to me about anything.”

She hesitated and looked over at Anakin, who had fallen deep into sleep from his food coma and was completely oblivious to their conversation. “I don’t know, Padme...I guess I just needed other than ANakin to talk about this. I’ve...I’ve been reading these fashion HoloMags recently...and I can’t help but realize that none of the models look anything like me. They all have these perfect bodies, skin, and hair. It’s like they call nail any outfit and manage to go on dates and can freely express themselves. But...I don’t have that,” she looked up at Padme sadly. “I can’t do half of those things. I don’t have makeup, or even hair.” She pointed to her blue and white stripped lekku at the top of her head.

“You feel like you don’t fit in with other people your age?” Padme asked.

“Yeah, on some level. I’m a Padawan, we can’t form attachments...well, that’s what I believed until tonight....” she trailed off. “Sorry, this is all so stupid. I don’t even know what I’m saying.”

“No, Ahsoka,” Padme intervened, moving closer towards her. “It’s okay to feel like we don’t fit in. But know this, okay?”

Ahsoka turned towards Padme again, as if she only had one chance to hear Padme’s words.

“Ahsoka, it’s hard to conform to the standards that the roles we play in our lives expect us to follow. I struggle to maintain my composure during Senate meetings and we hear about the thousands of troops and people killed during the war. I often hesitant, wondering if what I’m doing is truly helping the needs of my people back home. I find myself getting lost and feeling like I have no one to turn to for guidance.”

“So... you’re saying that things aren’t always what they seem?” Ahsoka questioned slowly.

Padme nodded. “Yes, exactly. Do you want to know the truth about those models in the HoloMags? They probably look almost nothing like how they do in their photos that you see. They’re highly edited and dramatized, but they’re so convincing to viewers and that makes us think that they are real.”

Ahsoka thought for a moment, rationalizing Padme’s words. “Basically, there’s more than what meets the eye? Like how everyone thinks that you’re a confident Senator, but you struggle with knowing what to do in times like these? Or when Anakin appears to be a conforming Knight, yet struggles with his feelings of attachment for you?” She winced, realizing how condescending that last part sounded. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that--”

“No, it’s okay, Ahsoka, I know what you meant,” Padme smiled. “But you’re correct. Beauty hurts, even if we don’t see the full picture of it. And you, Ahsoka, are beautiful. More than that, you’re courageous, strong, and dedicated towards yourself and everything you do. I may not have known you as long as Anakin has, but he speaks highly of you. He’s proud to be your Master.”

“Even if he’s annoyingly obsessed with crashing all the ships he flies?” Ahsoka joked.

“Yes! Even so. Regardless, what I want you to realize is that you don’t need to compare yourself to others. You’ve accomplished so much at your age. You’re going to make a great Knight one day; you just have to keep going. And if you ever want some advice on makeup, you can always come to me.”

“Thanks, Padme...that means a lot to me,” Ahsoka replied. And she meant every word of that sentence. No one was truly perfect, even if things appeared to be so. “I really don’t think Anakin has much expertise in that department anyway.”

“Oh, no, I highly doubt it,” Padme added. She eyed over at Anakin, who was snoring softly now. “Does he usually sleep this early?”

“Nope, he’s insomniac. I don’t think he’s fallen asleep that easily in nearly a year. I often hear him at night in our quarters, pacing. I think the war’s catching up to him, Padme. I worry about him a lot.”

Padme looked back at Ahsoka. “At least we all have each other now, right?”

Ahsoka smiled again, the most she had smiled in days. “Yeah...we’ll take care of each other. Now, you gotta teach me that sweetcake recipe. Those were the best I’ve had in forever!”

Padme rose from the couch in shock. “Anakin didn’t teach you by now? I followed his mother’s recipe!”

“Do you really think Anakin can cook?” Ahsoka raised an eyebrow.

Padme shook her head and sighed. “I should’ve known. Come on, let’s talk some more in the kitchen. We can make some sweetcakes and I can teach you. Just don’t tell Anakin, he’ll hog them all for himself.”

“It will be a great honor,” Ahsoka smiled, following closely behind Padme, leaving Anakin to rest as the new family made new memories with one another.

As Ahsoka followed Padme into the kitchen, she took a last look at Anakin, still sound asleep on the couch. Despite the war and the secrecy each of them carried, they all had peace and solace in one another.

“Thanks, Padme,” Ahsoka said quietly, breaking the silence. “For everything.”

Padme smiled warmly, handing Ahsoka a rolling pin as they began their sweetcake preparations. “Of course. It’s what family does, right?”

As Padme began listing out the instructions for the sweetcakes, Ahsoka nodded, her heart feeling lighter than it had in days. This wasn’t the family she had expected, but it was the family she had found, even in the most unexpected of ways.

And in that moment, with the comforting scent of sweetcakes in the air, Ahsoka knew that whatever came next, she had a place here. The love and care from one another were sweeter than any sweetcake could bring: they were made from the true ingredients and backbones of a family.