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Chapter Text

“Guys, guys! Look at this article!” Tony shouted, nearly tripping in his hurry as he burst into the living room of Avengers Tower, his Starkpad raised high like it was the Holy Grail.

Bruce, who was lounging on the couch with Thor, barely looked up from the soft, content cuddle they’d been sharing. It wasn’t unusual for Bruce and Thor to spend their downtime this way—Thor had an uncanny ability to make even Bruce’s inner turmoil feel calm. But the second Tony’s voice rang out, Bruce sighed, already knowing that something chaotic was about to unfold.

Thor, looking completely clueless as usual, glanced over at Tony. “What is it, Tony? Is it about that new ice cream shop you keep telling us about? Because I will admit, that was quite delicious.”

“No, no! Forget the ice cream—this is way more important.” Tony practically threw himself onto the couch next to Bruce, thrusting the Starkpad into his face. “Look at this.”

Bruce took one glance at the screen, and his face immediately turned the shade of a tomat. The article read:

Is Bruce Banner Getting Absolutely Railed by a Norse God?

By BuzzFeed News Team

April 27, 20XX

New York, NY — In a shocking turn of events that no one saw coming, Bruce Banner—the mild-mannered genius who’s also the Hulk—has become the subject of some very interesting gossip. And we’re not talking about his scientific breakthroughs or latest Hulk-related incidents. No, we’re talking about his sex life—and more specifically, his relationship with none other than Thor, the god of thunder.

Following an exclusive set of very public photos showing Bruce and Thor holding hands, sharing a kiss, and generally acting like a couple that definitely isn’t afraid of PDA (public display of affection), the internet has gone absolutely wild. But it’s not just the romance that's sparking debates—oh no. The real drama is all about who’s on top in this godly relationship.

The Top/Bottom Debate:

Let’s get into it. According to fans, the question on everyone’s mind is: Is Bruce Banner the top or the bottom in this relationship?

Now, for those who might not be familiar with the internet’s intense scrutiny of couples, this is a very serious question. The internet has erupted in what can only be described as a heated debate, with some people claiming that Thor’s dominant godly presence makes him the clear top, while others argue that Bruce’s quiet control of his inner Hulk makes him the one in charge.

“Look, it’s obvious,” one fan writes in a now-viral post. “Thor might be all godly and thunderous, but Bruce can literally smash anything. If there’s anyone who’s gonna top Thor, it’s him.”

But wait—there’s more. Fans have been taking to Twitter and Reddit to analyze every move the two make, with one user even creating a detailed chart comparing their ‘dominant traits.’ According to this chart, Bruce’s calm demeanor and intellectual prowess make him the perfect match for Thor, but some argue that Thor’s physical strength and larger-than-life personality mean he’s definitely the one in control.

One fan even commented, “I bet Bruce is the type who acts all shy at first, but then once he gets comfortable, he’s the one calling all the shots. Thor’s just there for the ride, really.”

The Photos That Started It All:

If you're wondering how things escalated to this point, it all started when a couple of intimate photos of the pair surfaced online. One shot shows the two of them strolling through the streets of New York City, holding hands in a way that suggests they’re not just ‘friends.’ In another photo, Thor and Bruce are seen deeply kissing outside a café, with Thor’s hand placed firmly at the small of Bruce’s back—leading to an even more intense fan theory that it’s Bruce who’s the submissive one in the relationship.

But the real kicker? The internet is so obsessed with this new power couple that it’s begun analyzing every small interaction between Bruce and Thor. One video going viral on TikTok even slowed down a clip from one of their many joint appearances to analyze the body language between the two.

“Watch Bruce’s eyes,” says one TikTok creator. “Look at how he’s directing Thor’s movements when they’re walking. It’s like he’s already in charge of the relationship. Thor may be strong, but Bruce knows how to keep him in line.”

The Verdict:

The internet continues to speculate endlessly about Bruce and Thor’s relationship, with debates raging on about who’s top, who’s bottom, and whether or not this will change the dynamics of the Avengers going forward. But one thing’s for sure—this whole situation is not going away anytime soon.

As of this morning, our poll was almost evenly split, but there’s no denying that everyone is very invested in the answer.

POLL TIME:

Is Bruce Banner a Top or Bottom? You Decide!

🔹 Top. Bruce is the dominant one.

🔹 Bottom. Thor’s in charge here.

🔹 I have no idea. Please stop asking.

Bruce groaned, rubbing his temples. “Tony, are you kidding me?”

Tony was already grinning ear to ear, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Oh, I’m not kidding. And here’s the best part.” He began scrolling through the article, not even trying to hide his amusement. “BuzzFeed is actively debating whether or not you’re the top in this relationship. You’re practically a celebrity, Bruce!”

Bruce looked over at Thor, who was still lounging happily, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing. “Are you really okay with this?” Bruce asked, voice strained.

Thor tilted his head, genuinely confused. “What do you mean, Bruce? You are a great scientist, and I am a god of thunder. Is this not what humans do when they care about each other? They... share their truths with the world?”

Bucky, who was sitting nearby on a chair with Steve, looked over the back of the couch at Tony, completely intrigued now. “Wait—are they seriously questioning who’s on top in this relationship?” he asked, looking more bemused than concerned.

Clint, overhearing from the kitchen, snorted. “Now that’s a headline I didn’t expect to see today,” he added, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Guys, guys! This is so much better than anything we’ve ever faced,” Tony laughed, zooming in on the fan polls embedded in the article. “People are obsessed with whether Bruce is a top or a bottom. It’s like... the big debate of this year. There’s even a bracket for it!”

Bruce, who’d gone an even more impressive shade of red, now looked like he might collapse from sheer embarrassment. “Tony, I am not doing a press conference to clear this up,” he muttered, his voice sharp with annoyance.

Tony’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Come on, Bruce. You could be the first Avenger to host a press conference about your love life! Think of the PR, man. You could totally deny the ‘top’ allegations and say you’re just really into power dynamics, but you’re not all about that—you know, a whole classy, respectful ‘I’m more than just my sexual role’ kind of thing.”

“I’m not telling the world about my sex life, Tony,” Bruce said firmly, clearly mortified by the entire situation. He glanced back at Thor, hoping for some support, but Thor was still completely confused.

“Why does it matter if you are the top or bottom?” Thor asked, genuinely trying to wrap his mind around the concept. “I am... I do not understand. We are simply together, and this article... it is about how we love each other, yes?”

“Exactly,” Bruce muttered, clearly exhausted. “It’s about us. Not whatever this... ridiculous debate is.”

Steve, who had been quietly observing the situation while sitting beside Bucky, raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I didn’t think the ‘who’s on top’ debate was something people cared about this much... but now I’m kinda curious.”

Clint, from the kitchen now with Natasha leaning in from the doorway, couldn’t stop laughing. “Oh, this is gold. I can’t believe you guys are the subject of an internet debate on who’s the ‘dominant’ one. If anything, Thor’s way too confident to be the bottom, right?”

Thor’s eyes widened, and he blinked at Clint. “Wait, do you think I am the bottom? I thought it was Bruce who was—”

Bruce buried his face in his hands. “Thor, no, just... don’t. Please don’t make this worse,” he groaned.

Meanwhile, Natasha leaned against the doorframe, clearly enjoying the chaos. “So, who do you think is the top, Tony?” she asked with a smirk.

“Why do you think I’ve been showing everyone this article?” Tony quipped, glancing at Natasha. “I’m just here for the drama.”

Steve, ever the voice of reason—even when the team was spiraling,—stood up and walked over. “Okay, okay,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “So, the world’s obsessed with Bruce and Thor’s private life. What are we supposed to do about it? I mean, it’s none of our business, right?”

“Oh, we’re definitely not doing anything about it,” Bruce shot back, his voice dry. “But if Tony keeps sharing articles like this, I might have to get really angry. And that’s not something I want to deal with right now.”

Thor, still completely baffled, shrugged. “I don’t mind the attention, honestly. If people wish to talk about us, then let them. But I will never understand why they are so concerned with who leads in... our personal affairs.”

“Because, Thor,” Tony said, finally wiping a tear from his eye as he tried to regain his composure, “people love a good shipping war. They just wanna know who’s the most powerful—in every way. And apparently, that includes bedroom power dynamics.”

“Okay, well, that’s a whole new level of weird,” Clint muttered, still grinning.

Bruce leaned back, utterly defeated. “Great. Just what I needed today.”

Chapter Text

The press conference was supposed to be about a new initiative in Avengers Tower, something about ‘taking accountability’ for the team’s latest mission or some PR nonsense. But, of course, Tony Stark—being Tony Stark—had other plans. The media had been clamoring for months about Bruce Banner’s relationship with Thor, fueled by the BuzzFeed article, and now Tony was about to set the record straight.

Tony strutted up to the podium in front of a crowded room of reporters, his trademark smirk plastered across his face. “Alright, alright, I know what you all want,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Yes, we’re here to talk about science, technology, and saving the world, but let’s get to the real issue that’s been weighing heavily on all of us—the one that’s been burning in your hearts, keeping you awake at night…”

He paused for dramatic effect, then grinned even wider.

“The top vs. bottom debate,” he announced, causing a ripple of shocked murmurs from the reporters in the room.

Bruce, who had been sitting at the back with his head down, tried his best to shrink into his seat. This was not something he ever signed up for.

“I know, I know, you’ve all been dying to know who’s the dominant one in the unbelievable love story between Bruce and Thor,” Tony continued, making sure every word landed as if he were unveiling some great cosmic truth. “And so, I’m here to clear things up.”

Bruce was already turning an uncomfortable shade of red, his fingers curling into fists in his lap. He just knew where this was going.

Tony glanced over at Bruce, who was now slouching as far into his seat as physically possible. “Now, Bruce won’t comment on this,” Tony said with a sly wink to the crowd. “But just between you and me…”

The room fell eerily silent as Tony leaned forward, lowering his voice dramatically.

“Bruce is totally the bottom,” Tony said with a smirk that could only be described as mischievous. “You should’ve heard what it was like when I forgot to soundproof some of the rooms in the tower. Let’s just say… some of us have very good hearing, and some very intimate sounds were heard.”

The room erupted into a mix of stunned gasps and chuckles. Bruce’s face, already red, was now bright enough to rival a traffic light. He buried his face in his hands, not daring to look up, hoping he could just disappear in that moment.

Thor, sitting beside Bruce, looked down at him with a baffled expression. “What does soundproof mean?” he asked, genuinely confused. He glanced at the reporters, then at Bruce, before his lips curled into a small, sincere smile. “Tony speaks the truth,” he added.

Bruce’s head snapped up, his eyes wide in pure panic. “No! No, no, no, Thor!” he hissed, his hands flying up to cover Thor’s mouth before anyone could say anything else. The reporters were on the edge of their seats, clearly hanging on every word.

But it was too late. Thor’s simple, innocent confession had already sealed the deal. The reporters’ cameras flashed furiously, capturing the exact moment Bruce tried to stop him, but it was already clear: Thor had confirmed it.

Bruce’s heart pounded in his chest as he shoved his hands over Thor’s mouth, hoping—praying—that he could somehow undo the damage.

Thor, however, was completely oblivious to Bruce’s panic. “It is true,” he said, his voice muffled by Bruce’s hands. “We have—”

Bruce immediately pressed both hands firmly over Thor’s lips. “Please don’t say anything more!” he whispered hoarsely, his body trembling in embarrassment.

The reporters, however, were no longer paying attention to the interaction between Bruce and Thor. They were incredibly focused on the words that had already been said.

“Did Thor just say it’s true?” one reporter asked incredulously, her camera flashing. “Does this confirm that Bruce Banner is the bottom in his relationship with Thor?”

Another reporter eagerly jumped in. “I think this is an official confirmation! The Avengers just made it official!”

Tony, clearly loving the chaos, threw his hands up in mock defeat. “Alright, I guess that’s that then. We have all the answers. Thank you for coming to today’s press conference!”

Bruce, still trying to hide in Thor’s chest, was absolutely mortified. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me, Tony,” he mumbled through clenched teeth.

Thor, clearly proud of his role in all of this, smiled down at Bruce, oblivious to the devastation he was causing. “Don’t be embarrassed, Bruce. It is just love. Nothing to hide.”

Bruce groaned, leaning against Thor with as much dramatic flair as he could muster. “I swear, if we survive this, I’m going to lose it.”

BREAKING: Bruce Banner and Thor Officially Confirm Their Relationship—And Accidentally Say Who the Top Is

By BuzzFeed News Team

June 12, 20XX

In what can only be described as the most chaotic press conference in Avengers history, Tony Stark has once again shocked the world—and possibly sealed his fate with Bruce Banner—for good.

During a rather ‘routine’ press conference in Avengers Tower that was meant to focus on global superhero initiatives and, presumably, saving the world, Stark made a shocking announcement that no one saw coming. Instead of talking about science or technology, the ever-sarcastic billionaire turned the spotlight on a much more pressing issue that has been the topic of internet rumors for months:

The Top vs. Bottom Debate in the Relationship Between Bruce Banner and Thor.

Yes, you read that right.

Tony Stark, clearly reveling in the drama, took it upon himself to clear up the burning question the world has been asking: who’s the dominant one in the relationship between Bruce Banner and Thor? According to Stark, the answer was clear—Bruce is totally the bottom. And if that wasn’t shocking enough, Stark didn’t stop there.

“He’s the bottom,” Tony said with a grin, practically purring the words. “You should’ve heard what it was like when I forgot to soundproof some of the rooms in the tower. Let’s just say... some of us have very good hearing.”

As you can imagine, the people went wild.

Cameras flashed, reporters gasped, and the internet collectively exploded with questions. But the real twist came when Thor, sitting beside Bruce at the conference, dropped an innocent but game-changing bombshell: “Tony speaks the truth.”

Yes, you read that correctly. Thor confirmed it.

When Bruce tried to stop him by covering Thor’s mouth, it was too late—the damage was done. The crowd erupted, and Twitter immediately exploded with hashtags like #BottomBruce, #ThorTopConfirmed, and of course, #TheTruthIsOutThere.

While Bruce appeared to physically shrink into himself—red-faced and desperate to disappear into the fabric of Thor’s shirt—the reporters were quick to point out that this was, in fact, an official confirmation of the relationship dynamics between the two Avengers.

One reporter, who could barely contain their excitement, asked, “Does this mean Bruce Banner is the bottom? Are they confirming it?”

Tony, clearly enjoying the chaos, threw his hands up in mock surrender, smiling widely. “Well, I guess that’s that then. We have all the answers now, folks. Thank you for coming to today’s press conference!”

And while the world couldn’t get enough of the juicy details of Thor and Bruce’s personal lives, many are asking themselves why this even matters. But let’s be honest: we’re all in it for the drama. Whether Bruce is top or bottom is no longer the biggest question—it’s whether the Avengers will survive the PR nightmare Tony Stark has unleashed.

So, what does Bruce think about it all? Well, he’s not talking. But we’re guessing he might want to start soundproofing his room a little better next time.

SuperFan123

“I knew it! I called it from day one. Bruce is such a bottom—there’s no way he’s the top. Thor’s literally a god, and Bruce is all shy and nerdy. It was only a matter of time before they confirmed it!” 

GoddessofThunder88

“Bruce being the top? Nah. Bruce is definitely the bottom. I mean, he’s always so quiet and reserved, but he totally lets Thor take control. You can see it in the way they interact. It's obvious!” #BottomBruce

NerdyScientist69

“Wait, did they just confirm it? Noooo! I thought I was rooting for Thor to be the bottom, honestly. I’m so upset right now. This is not the reveal I was expecting.😩😭”

HulkSmashThatLikeButton

“LOL this is hilarious. I feel bad for Bruce, but Tony Stark always finds a way to make things awkward, huh? Honestly, though, Bruce seems like the kind of guy who just wants to chill in the background while Thor is loud and proud. Can’t blame him for letting Thor take charge!” 

Asgardian_Queen

“I’m just here for the drama. Who cares if Bruce is the bottom or top? Let them love each other in peace! But I mean, I knew Bruce would be the bottom, there’s no way Thor is that soft in bed. He’s a literal Norse god. He’s probably too into it. #LoveIsLove”

ThatOneFan

“I’m just disappointed. I thought Bruce had more... power to him, you know? Like, I thought maybe he could be the one calling the shots with Thor, but this... this is just not what I imagined. I need a minute.” 

THORisLove

“You all are missing the point. Thor is the God of Thunder. Of course he’s going to be the dominant one in this relationship! But honestly? I’m still here for it. They make a cute couple, bottom or top! ❤️”

BuckyTheBoi

“Oh man, Bruce really got caught in a storm here. This is the content I didn’t know I needed today, but I also didn’t think it would get this chaotic. Tony’s too much! 😂”

FanFictionFanatic

“I’m just glad Tony finally gave us something to work with for the next big fanfic. Thank you for the confirmation, Avengers. We’ve been waiting for this moment for years.✨”

StormInMyHeart

“I’m kind of bummed. I was shipping Thor as the soft, caring bottom. It could have been so cute, but now it’s confirmed and my whole world has crumbled. But you know what? I still ship them. So, whatever.” 

IronManStan21

“Tony Stark, man. He really did that. So glad we got this out in the open, though! It was kind of obvious, but now we have definitive proof. Who needs a relationship status when we’ve got a power ranking, huh?!”

SassyAvenger

“Why is everyone acting surprised? They’re literally the cutest couple and Bruce is so adorable about it. Thor is all strong god vibes, and Bruce is just the sweet guy who lets him take the reins. It’s like a match made in heaven. 😭”

ThorLover69

“So I’m the only one here who’s actually surprised, huh? I thought Thor was going to be the gentle giant in all of this. But, okay, I see the appeal. Either way, Bruce and Thor are goals. Y’all can keep debating it; I’m just here for the cuteness.”