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“Ryland, can you just take me out on a date for once? I swear to god in the six fucking months we’ve been together you’ve gone in public with me less than five times.”
“Daniella, you know I don’t like normal dating shit,” Ryland replied, standing up and walking past her.
“Ryland, Jesus Christ! You’re such a dick, I don’t know why I ever thought you would get better,” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation.
“I don’t know why you’ve stuck around so long if you hate how I am so much,” Ryland said. “You knew how I was going into this, and you’ve known the whole goddamn time.”
Daniella’s face softened, and she stepped toward Ryland, grabbing his arm. “Because you aren’t always like this. I know you aren’t the romantic type, and that’s okay. But sometimes I swear you just don’t give a shit about putting effort into this relationship.” She paused for a second and sighed, but quickly gave a reassuring smile. “I’m sorry I got upset, babe. We don’t have to go out.”
Ryland turned to look at her. Looked at her beautiful face, her perfect body. Thought about how much of his shit she had put up with the past six months. They had met through work at a restaurant he hated- a job he had long since lost. He had never been anything special, but she really was good to him. She had just always wanted more from this than he wanted to give.
She looked at him expectantly. He knew this was his chance to do the right thing and fix everything. To apologize. To say “Hey, you’re right. Let’s go out tonight, wherever you want. I love you, and I promise I’ll be better for you.”
Instead, he scoffed and pulled back from her touch. “I’m not going to change and you’re never going to be happy with me. Why bother trying any more?”
He glanced back and instantly saw how hurt she was. Shit, he thought. Why do I have to be such a dick? He couldn’t bring himself to care, though. That was his problem. He never cared.
“Ryland, please. I love you! What we have is good. I can meet you halfway. We don’t have to start going out all the time, you don’t have to be more of a typical romantic like me, but maybe we can just work on a few things? Both of us?” She looked sad, and sounded desperate. Ryland couldn’t imagine how anyone as good as her could possibly fight for someone as useless as him to stick around.
“I’m not doing this, Daniella. This was never going to work long term. I’ll pack my shit and go.”
He turned away, tuning out the sound of her protests. He could tell she was starting to cry, and the sound of her wavering voice felt like it was going to drown him. He forced himself not to focus enough to hear her words. He felt worse about the fact he couldn’t bring himself to give a shit he was hurting her than the fact that truly, he didn’t. She should have figured out a long time ago that I would never be her dream guy, he thought bitterly.
He quickly grabbed a trash bag and threw his few belongings in it. A few pairs of jeans, some sweats, a bunch of t-shirts, a hoodie, phone charger, and the few physical copies of games he owned. He glanced at his gaming PC and sighed. Daniella had bought that for him. He had needed to sell his old one to pay rent on the apartment he had ended up getting evicted from anyway, before she took him in. I can’t take it. I have no way to haul it with me wherever I go, and it’s not even really mine anyways.
Ryland grabbed the trash bag and hurried toward the front door of the house, patting his pockets to make sure his phone and practically empty wallet were there. Daniella was there at the front door, waiting for him.
Shit , he thought, dreading what was to come. I don’t want to be an asshole. But I’m not just going to apologize and stay. I’ve already burned the bridge. She deserves better, anyways.
“Ryland-”
He held up a hand. “Please, Dani. You know you deserve better than someone who barely does anything for you. I’m not the sweet, emotionally available guy you deserve. Thanks for everything, but I have to go.”
“Ryland, where the fuck will you go?” she asked incredulously. She was getting upset. “You have no friends, no family in this city, and no money. Just stay a few more nights, sleep on the couch, we can figure something out. We don’t have to get back together, but you don’t have to run out and sleep on the streets. Please, it’s already past 9 PM.”
Ryland paused for a second, hand on the front door. Even after all my shit she’s still some kind of fuckin’ angel. Always so worried about everyone else. Always so worried about me . “I can’t stay. Don’t worry, I’ll figure something out.”
Daniella sighed, and he knew she was giving in.
At least after all this time she at least knows how stubborn I am.
Another few seconds passed and Ryland twisted the door handle, pulling it open.
He could have stayed. There was still time. But he couldn’t bring himself to care enough to take that chance and stay. So he left.
“Bye, Daniella.”
“Bye, Ryland.”
He stepped out the front door, pulling it closed behind him. The sound of Daniella turning the lock behind him made his stomach drop. I really just threw the only relationship I’ve held longer than a month for the past five years out the window. Over a stupid, insignificant argument over nothing. Worse than over nothing- over something that could have been fixed if I weren’t such a piece of shit.
He sighed, and closed his eyes for a few beats. Then he opened them slowly and took in his surroundings, trying to reorient himself. Finally, he noticed the fact it was starting to rain.
Where the hell am I going to go?
Ryland pulled up his hoodie and started walking down the sidewalk. He exited the neighbourhood. When he reached the main street, he was already uncomfortably damp. I could go to Dad’s, I guess. But I’d need to take the bus, and it’s too late to barge into his house. I’ll wait until morning. But where the fuck do I go now?
He walked farther up the street and passed a shitty bar, then did a double take. He knew this bar was open until 3 AM. He could at least wait out the rain. The sign on the door said there was live music that night, but he knew the entertainment they choses normally sucked. But being here was better than being out in the rain.
He pulled open the door and walked quickly to the back, looking for the bathroom. He caught a glimpse of the band. The singer was in a weird sparkly blue spandex suit, and he was singing something incomprehensible about magic hamsters. Behind him there was a guy that looked like he was dressed as a ninja, playing a keyboard.
God, the entertainment here is never good, Ryland thought absentmindedly.
He finally found the bathroom and stepped in, looking for some kind of storage closet. He didn’t see one, but there were cabinets under the sink, so he yanked one open and stuffed his trashbag of belongings in.
He stood up and glanced in the mirror. I look like shit. I need a haircut. I need to shave. I need a new life.
Whatever, I’ll fit in with the rest of the people here at least , he thought to himself, finally deciding to exit the bathroom. Probably shouldn’t spend the rest of my cash on alcohol, but I need a fucking drink. I can afford one shitty beer.
“Your band sucks man, what are you even singing about? Fuckin’ unicorns? Are you 8 years old?”
Alex was used to the negative response from crowds. All his life people had been telling him his music sucked, so it didn’t sting like it used to. It was certainly still annoying though.
“Your outfit is fucking ridiculous, you look like a goddamn fairy!” someone else shouted.
“You’re just jealous that I have style and you look like you just walked off the set of a shitty 2000s movie about high schoolers who can’t get laid!” Alex shouted back. The heckler ignored him, and he sighed.
It was the end of the band's two hour set. Another rough one with a crowd that had feelings for them ranging to from indifference to hate.
“Brian, this is starting to get disheartening.”
“But hey, look,” Alex said, leaning over to pick up the tip jar at the edge of the stage. “Two dimes and a small condom. That’s like, triple what we got at our last show!”
His bandmate looked at him skeptically. If he hadn’t known Alex for years, he wouldn’t have been able to tell that the joy from this revelation was genuine.
As they were picking up their equipment, the bar owner walked up onto the stage and handed Alex a wrinkled 20 dollar bill.
“Hey, we played for two hours, we agreed to 30 an hour,” Alex protested.
“The crowd hated you, I’ve gotten complaints since you stepped on stage. Customers left because of you. The only reason I didn’t pull you down earlier is our speakers are broken and this was just slightly better than a quiet bar,” the owner said. “You can both have a beer on the house but that’s the best I can give you. By the way, you’re never playing here again. And some free advice? Make sure you get the agreement in writing before the show if you want to actually make money next time someone makes the mistake of hiring you.”
Alex sighed dejectedly. “Well Brian, at least we get free beer! That’s a plus, right?”
Alex turned to see Brian shaking his head and gesturing towards the exit.
“You’re leaving?”
He nodded.
“Oh, well, I’ll drink your beer then. See you later man, we played a good show. The crowd just doesn’t get our art.” Despite talking to Brian, the reassurance was meant for himself.
“Y’know, maybe it’s time to start taking crowd feedback. We could improve the band. I know you have your day job and don’t really need the money but I’d kinda like to make a profit here at some point,” Alex said. “I mean, living in my car isn’t the worst thing ever but it’s kind of not ideal. What really matters is the band.” He paused and turned back around to see Brian’s reaction, but he was already gone. Alex sighed. “Oh, okay. Well. Time to go enjoy my free beers I guess.”
“You’ve been here all night, buy another drink or get out.”
The bartender's words shook Ryland out of his thoughts. “What? I bought one,” he said, pointing to the half-empty bottle of beer he had bought a few hours ago.
“Yeah, one. You’ve been here for hours working on that four dollar bottle,” the bartender pressed. “Buy something else or get out.”
Ryland knew there were only 20 bucks left in his wallet. 20 bucks that he needed to save. He glanced to the window and saw it was still pouring outside. He had been drinking slow to avoid something like this, but it hadn’t worked. “Fine, whatever. I’ll leave.”
He was standing up to leave, but suddenly a guy a few seats over spun around in his seat to face him and started talking loudly. “Wait! Hey, you’ve been here all night right? Did you watch my show?”
Ryland turned to look at him. “Your what?”
“My show. My band, we were performing earlier,” he said, standing up and moving a few seats over to sit by Ryland.
“Oh, yeah. Yikes, man. I saw,” Ryland said. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”
“Mr. Bartender, I will buy this man a drink, whatever he wants,” the guy said, still looking at Ryland.
“Uh, why?”
“You watched my band,” the guy said, pointing to himself. “You said ‘yikes.’ You obviously hated it. Everyone hates my band. I wanna know why, so stay here and tell me about it in exchange for alcohol.”
Ryland raised an eyebrow. It was an offer he wouldn’t take if he were any less desperate. “What the hell, sure. Uh, can I get a Heineken?” he asked, flicking his eyes to the bartender.
“On it,” he responded gruffly.
Ryland sat back down and looked at the odd stranger. Ryland hadn’t recognized him from the stage because he had changed out of the bright spandex into a far more normal pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
“Okay, first off, hi, I’m Alex,” the guy said, spinning in his chair to face Ryland again, extending his hand. Ryland just looked at him. “This is when you say ‘Hi! Nice to meet you, I’m Blah Blah Blah,’ and shake my hand. Also, you say your name, not ‘Blah Blah Blah.’”
“Whatever dude. I’m Ryland. Thanks for the beer, I guess.”
When he didn’t take Alex’s hand, Alex frowned and put it down. “Man, you really suck at introductions. But that’s okay, that doesn’t matter. I just need to know why people think my band sucks. We’re not getting any money and no one likes us, I just don’t get it.”
Ryland laughed. “Dude, you get up there in spandex and sing about wizards. You’re in a dive bar in a shitty part of town that probably served a grand total of 20 people tonight, most of which look like divorced dads. Maybe you need to reevaluate your target audience. Start doing kids' birthday parties.”
Alex ignored (or possibly didn’t notice) Ryland’s sarcasm. “We don’t have a target audience, that’s the beauty of it,” Alex said excitedly. “See, Brian and I- Brian is the other guy that performed with me, my bandmate. Brian and I want to make people laugh and stuff. We aren’t a serious band, we don’t think about demographics and shit, who cares.”
“Ah, yeah, of course. It’s a wonder you’re not making any money,” Ryland deadpanned.
“I know!” exclaimed Alex, continuing to miss/ignore the sarcasm. “Now that I think about it, I don’t need your advice on the band. I’m sure if we stick at it and stay true to ourselves we’ll get a cult following in no time.”
The earnest excitement in Alex’s voice threw Ryland for a loop. He couldn’t imagine how to reply. “Well, thanks for the free beer anyways, I guess.”
“No problem man. You know, Ryland, I think your lack of real advice was the advice I needed,” Alex said, smiling way too genuinely. “I’ll tell Brian that we just need to keep working hard. We’re gonna hit gold and make so much fuckin’ money any day now.”
“Whatever you say, dude.”
Ryland expected the interaction to be over, but Alex started talking again. “So if this bar is for shitty divorced dads, why have you been here all night?” he asked curiously. “You don’t look old enough to be a divorced dad.”
He thought about ignoring the question, but Alex seemed like the type that wouldn’t let something go so easily. Plus, talking to him was helping Ryland take his mind off his hopeless situation. “Well, as of a few hours ago, I’m homeless. So I’m waiting out the rain here,” he said.
“Oh no, what happened to you?” Alex asked, furrowing his brows with concern so genuine that a passerby could have easily assumed they had been friends for years. Alex’s sincerity and inability to break eye contact made Ryland uncomfortable.
“Doesn’t matter,” he answered, choosing this time to take the easier route of dodging the question.
“Wait so you really don’t have a place to stay tonight?” Alex questioned, looking at Ryland with worry.
He shrugged in response and picked up his now empty beer bottle just to have something to do with his hands. “Not tonight. Tomorrow I’m going to take the bus to my Dad’s place, I guess. Haven’t talked to him in years and he won’t be thrilled to see me but he’ll let me crash there for a few months.”
“But it’s raining tonight. And it’s the middle of the night. You can’t just stay outside,” Alex said, then paused to think for a second.
“It’s whatever, dude. I’ll survive,” Ryland insisted.
“No, you could stay with me for the night. I mean I live in my car but you could totally sleep in the back seat tonight, at least you would be safe and warm. And I could even drive you to the bus stop in the morning, the closest one is like a 30 minute walk and it could still be raining tomorrow,” Alex rambled on, gaining even more enthusiasm than before as he spoke.
Ryland’s instinct was to decline the offer, but he really, really needed somewhere to stay the night. The rain was picking up, and he was positive it was only getting colder. Maybe one night in this strangers car won’t be horrible. It’s better than being outside, I guess.
“So?” Alex asked, looking at Ryland expectantly.
He sighed. “Yeah man, I’d appreciate that.”
“Hell yeah!” Alex exclaimed, clapping his hands. “It’ll be like a sleep over. God, I haven’t had a sleep over since I was a kid. Do you want to get out of here now?”
Ryland nodded. “But first I need to grab something.”
He stood up and started walking towards the bathroom to pick up his stuff. He expected Alex to wait, but he just threw some money on the counter for the bartender and trailed after him.
“What’re you grabbing from here?” Alex asked curiously, following Ryland into the bathroom.
“All my personal belongings,” he replied, opening the cabinet and yanking out the trash bag he had stuffed in there earlier.
“Wow,” Alex said. “Everything in there? In a trash bag? You are kind of fucked right now, aren’t you?”
“Says the guy who lives in a car and prances around on stage instead of getting a real job,” Ryland spat defensively, instantly regretting it. He bit his tongue and waited for Alex’s reply, hoping his outburst hadn’t just cost him his only chance to sleep somewhere dry that night.
“Dude, I’m just between homes right now. I used to live with my bandmate but he’s married now and has a kid. His wife made me move out so they could use the spare bedroom for their baby, and maybe also because I never paid any rent the three years I crashed there,” Alex prattled, zero anger in his voice. “And my band is my work! It’s my passion, too. Maybe you need a passion, Ryland. Because I’ve only known you like 20 minutes and I can tell you’re a pretty miserable human.”
“What I need is a job I can hold for more than two months,” Ryland said, ignoring the latter half of Alex’s comment.
“Hey, what if you joined the band!?” Alex exclaimed. “Maybe music can save you.”
Ryland rolled his eyes. “What? No. I need to work at a job that pays money. ”
“Fine, fine. Forget I asked. Or don’t! Who knows, maybe you’ll change your mind and decide music is your life calling.”
“I highly doubt it.”
Rain beat down on the roof of the car. Other vehicles honked and sped around outside. Alex snored.
Ryland laid in the backseat of Alex’s car, knees bent uncomfortably, head rested on a crumpled up hoodie with his trash bag of belongings on the seat next to him.
He couldn’t sleep. He wanted to wallow in self-pity, but he was too tired to even do that. He actually felt grateful for this weird, excessive stranger he had accidentally met, because without Alex, Ryland would have had nowhere to go tonight. By the time 9 am rolled around and Alex woke up, Ryland was too tired to pretend to be aloof.
“Dude, I really fuckin’ appreciate this,” he said as Alex drove in the direction of the bus stop.
“Yay! I’m happy to help,” Alex said, smiling like Ryland had just given him a thousand dollars.
“I hope you know I can’t really pay you or anything, for gas or whatever,” Ryland said. “But hey, I’m gonna like, give you my number in case you ever need a favor or something and I can help. I owe you one, man.”
“I’m not worried about the money, I’ll take your number though. It’s good to have a network of people who can lend you a hand,” Alex said. “Not that I really have a network. But I’m building one.”
Ryland figured that was true, but he had no experience with having a “network” of people. Most people couldn’t stand him for more than a few months. Friends, girlfriends, even his family. Daniella was his longest lasting relationship, but even that was over now.
Stop. I don’t need to think about her, Ryland thought, shaking his head as if he could shake the thoughts out of his brain.
After a few more quiet minutes in the car, Alex pulled into the parking lot by the bus stop. “Here, put your number in,” he said, handing Ryland a scuffed Nokia. He did, and tossed it back.
“Thanks again, dude,” Ryland said, getting out of the car and taking his trash bag.
“No problem buddy!”
Alex stayed parked and watched as Ryland walked away.
6 Months Later
Ryland stayed at his dad’s house long enough to save for a few months rent and get back on his feet. He found a duplex house for rent, cheap. Ryland didn’t like the guy who owned the building and lived in the other half. He was weird, but a total pushover, so Ryland figured if he had money trouble again, the landlord might give him some leeway with rent. Some days when they ran into each other outside Ryland wondered if living by this guy was even worth that.
“Hey, you know, I hear you in there playing video games all night,” the landlord said one day as Ryland was leaving for work.
“What?”
“Oh, I’m not listening in or anything. The walls are thin, you know,” he replied, following in Ryland’s direction, towards the sidewalk.
“Okay, man, sorry I guess? I’ll keep it down.” Ryland kept walking in the direction of his job, and still the man followed.
“I assure you I’m not complaining! In fact, since you enjoy games, I was hoping you might come over and play some with me sometime. I’m kind of an advanced player of sorts at this game, Gauntlet-”
Ryland turned around to face him and held up a hand. “Look, Landon-”
“It’s actually ‘Lorenzo,’” he corrected, scrunching his eyebrows together. “You do know my name right? I mean, we’ve known each other for months.” He laughed awkwardly.
Ryland sighed in exasperation. “I was close, okay. Whatever, the point is, I don’t really have time for whatever the fuck it is you’re inviting me to. I work all day, I come home and eat a shitty microwave dinner, and then I play videogames until pass out on the couch. Even if I had time, why the hell would I want to hang out with you? You are my landlord, not my friend.”
“Well you don’t have to be so harsh,” Lorenzo huffed. “Fine! I’ll leave you alone.”
“Good,” Ryland said, turning back around to continue walking to work.
“But the offer is still open if you change your mind!” Lorenzo called after him.
Ryland shook his head and ignored him. Jesus Christ, that guy is a lonely wreck.
“We are Ninja Sex Party! Thank you for coming to our show!”
Alex’s enthusiasm was triple what everyone in the crowd combined showed.
“Get off the fuckin’ stage man, we’re not here to see you!” Before Alex could find the source of the voice, a plastic water bottle sailed through the air out of the crowd and hit him square in the face.
“Ow! Fuck, man, what the hell!” Alex held his face and turned around to look at Brian, who was motioning for him to get off the stage. Alex followed him.
“Y’know, I really thought opening for this band would be our big break,” Alex said, still rubbing his face. “I just don’t get it, man.”
Brian shrugged and walked over in the direction of the venue owner to get their pay for the night. When he returned, he handed the check to Alex.
“What about your cut?” he asked. Brian shook his head and shrugged.
“You want me to keep it? I can’t do that, we always split it!” Alex protested, following as Brian started walking towards the exit. Brian just shook his head again.
“Well, thank you. I guess I really could use the money,” he said, tucking the check in his hoodie pocket.
Brian walked over to his car and got in. Alex waved through the window, and Brian nodded in response.
Alex walked across the street to the open parking lot he had left his car in. “Where the hell is it?” he asked out loud, realizing it wasn’t where he had parked earlier.
He looked around and noticed a sign on the ground that had been knocked down. He jogged over to inspect it.
“No parking, privately owned lot. Vehicles will be towed,” he read out loud. “Shit.”
There was a phone number on the sign. He quickly pulled out his phone and dialed it. “Hi? Hello? I think my car got towed. How can I get it back? I kind of need it,” he said frantically as soon as the phone was picked up.
The lady on the other end calmly asked for his license plate number and a description of the car. She then told him he could pick up his car, but there would be a 200 dollar fee, and that there was an additional 40 dollar storage fee for every day it wasn’t picked up.
“Shit, all my money is in that car. Can I like, come get it out and pay you?” he asked.
“No sir, we can’t give your car back until you pay the fee,” she answered.
“You don’t need to give it back, just let me get money out!”
“Rules are rules, sir.”
Alex sighed. “Okay, okay. Wait!” he reached into his pocket and pulled out the check from that night's show. It was for two hundred and fifteen dollars. “I have a check! I just have to cash it, and I can bring it in, okay.”
“That’s great,” the woman on the phone said in a monotone voice. “I’m going to let you go, sir. Hopefully we’ll see you in the morning. Remember the additional fee, it’ll be 240 dollars to pick up the vehicle tomorrow.”
“God damn it!” Alex yelled as she hung up. “Okay, okay. I can’t cash my check tonight. The bank is going to close before I can walk there. And by the time tomorrow gets here, I won’t even be able to afford to pick it up,” he said out loud to himself, pacing the parking lot. “I could ask Brian for help, but he’s already done too much for me. And I think his wife would hate me if I made him come help me this late at night. Shit.”
He yanked his phone back out of his pocket and scrolled through his contacts. Brian. The owners of every venue they had played in the past two years. His mom.
Worth a try, he thought, hitting dial. He got hit with the “the number you have dialed is no longer in service” message, and sighed.
He kept scrolling. His old boss, from years back when he still had a real job. His ex girlfriend. His friend from high school. Ryland.
“Who the hell is this?” he clicked on the contact, and then the memory flooded in. The guy he met in a bar and had let stay in his car that one night last year. The guy that owed him one. He hit the call button.
It was past midnight, and Ryland’s phone rang. It startled him out of his sleep. He looked around for his phone and picked it up. It was an unknown number. I’m not doing this shit, he thought, hitting the ignore button.
He rolled back over, then heard a voice.
“Hello? Helloooo, Ryland?”
Shit. He had accidentally hit the answer button. And the person on the other end knew him, somehow.
He picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Ryland! It’s me, Alex!”
“Who?” he asked, rubbing his face and sitting up.
“Remember me? Alex, from the bar? I have a band and I let you sleep in my car?” He spoke quickly, and sounded anxious.
Oh. “Yeah, dude. I remember you, uh, what’s up?”
“Y’know how you said you owed me?”
Ryland sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Well, I’m kind of fucked right now. My car got towed and I won’t be able to afford to get it back tomorrow and I have nowhere to go or stay. Can I crash with you for a few days and figure things out?” He paused for a second. “Pretty please?”
Ryland wanted to just say “nope, sorry,” and hang up. It was late, he was tired. This guy helped me when I was in a similar situation, though. And going back on my promise now when he clearly needs help would probably make me the scum of the Earth.
“Okay, yeah. I’ll give you my address,” Ryland said.
“Yay! Thank you!” Alex said excitedly.
Ryland told him where he lived. “So, are you gonna head here now?”
“For sure! One problem, I don’t know where the fuck that is.”
“Shit, okay,” Ryland sighed, starting to regret agreeing to help. “Uh, where are you?”
“In a parking lot. On 47th street,” he said.
“Oh, I pass that on my way to work,” Ryland said. “I don’t have a car though, I can’t really come pick you up. And it’s like 12:30 at night.”
“Well, tell me what direction to walk in,” Alex said. “Be my personal navigation system.”
Ryland rubbed his temples. “I’m not doing this. Just stay there, I’ll walk over.”
He hung up the phone and sighed. “This is fucking ridiculous.”
He threw on some sweatpants and a hoodie, grabbed his shoes, and quietly exited the house, hoping not to alert his excessively curious landlord that he was leaving in the middle of the night.
As he walked through the dark, the thought “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” became a sort of mantra to him. 15 minutes later he approached the parking lot Alex had described and looked around.
“Hello? Are you here?” he looked around. It was dark, and he couldn’t see Alex. Oh my god, am I about to get mugged? Did I just fall into the world's stupidest trap?
“Ryland!” He turned around to see Alex practically skipping over. “Sorry, I was pissing in the woods over there.”
Ryland laughed, feeling a sense of relief wash over him as he realized he was not in danger, and the guy in front of him was the same oddly enthusiastic, harmless weirdo he had met 6 months ago. He looked a bit different, and his hair had somehow doubled in size from short and wavy to a mop of frizzy curls on top of his head.
I guess I probably look a bit different too , he thought as Alex finished prancing over to him.
“I’m so happy you came,” Alex said, grinning. Without warning, he grabbed Arin and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug.
“Uh, yeah. I mean, I owe you, don’t I?” Ryland replied stiffly, unsure of how to respond to the hug. It had been months since anyone had held him like that.
“Yeah, but I was worried you wouldn’t remember me or would say no or something,” Alex confessed.
“Dude, how could I forget you? You helped me out when I had literally nowhere else to turn,” Ryland told him, deciding to leave out the part where for about 10 seconds he had in fact, forgotten who Alex was.
Alex pulled back from the hug and smiled at him so fondly it made Ryland feel like he should look away. “You’re the best, man.”
“Uh, thanks. It’s kind of late, and I have work tomorrow, we should like, head back to my place I think,” Ryland said.
“Sounds good! God, I’m fuckin’ exhausted, dude,” Alex responded.
Despite this, he chattered for the rest of the walk back to Ryland’s place. He described the continued failure of the band and his struggle to save money and find somewhere to live.
“Maybe it’s time I get a day job, like Brian,” he sighed as they turned the corner onto Ryland’s street.
“No shit dude, is this the first time you’ve thought of this?” Ryland questioned incredulously, figuring the answer was that yes, it was.
“I’m dedicated to the band! And I’m not worried about money and shit,” Alex replied as if it was a stupid question.
“Whatever you say, man. Okay now, be quiet. I don’t want to wake up my weird landlord neighbour guy,” he told Alex as they walked up the steps to his home. Alex saluted in response.
Ryland unlocked the door and they stepped in. It was past 1 AM.
“Okay, you can uh, sleep on the couch. Bathrooms over there, my rooms there,” Ryland explained, pointing to each thing as he mentioned it.
“I can’t thank you enough,” Alex said. “You are a beautiful, beautiful human, Ryland.”
“Okay. Uh. Yeah, you’re welcome,” Ryland said, turning on the lamp. He looked over to Alex, and noticed a nasty bruise on his forehead. “Woah, dude, what the fuck is that?”
Alex touched his face and flinched. “Oh, someone threw a water bottle at me.”
“Damn, that sucks. Uh. Well. Anyways. You can only stay a few days though, I’m not really supposed to have more than one person living here according to my lease.”
“Of course, dude. I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”
“Okay, good,” Ryland said. “Anyways, good night.”
“Goodnight Ryland!”
Ryland watched as Alex flopped onto the couch, then walked into his room and closed the door.
Well, if Lorenzo asks about it I’ll just have to tell him he’s visiting or something. Hopefully he’ll be gone before the end of the week, he thought, crawling into bed. Having him around won’t be the end of the world, I guess. I haven’t really connected with another person in god knows how long.
He sighed and turned off his lamp. Whatever. As soon as he leaves I’ll just move on and forget about him like the last time.
2 Months Later
“Ryland, I promise I’ll move out as soon as I can, but I feel like I’m finally actually getting somewhere with the band!” Alex exclaimed excitedly. “I’ve been sleeping better, saving more money, and becoming a better performer!”
“Yeah, okay dude,” Ryland answered, watching Alex eat the cereal that he had certainly not paid for. “Is the money saving ever going to lead to you getting your car back?”
Alex shook his head. “Ryland, be realistic. With the storage fees for every day it’s been there, that car is now more expensive for me to just get back than it’s actually worth. Hell, I’m not sure if it’s even still there. Do they get rid of cars after a certain amount of time? I wonder.”
Ryland rubbed his temples. “Okay, so what the fuck is your plan now?”
“Keep saving the money from shows, maybe buy one of those sick camper van things to live in,” Alex replied.
“Are you going to get an actual job?” Ryland questioned, knowing the answer was probably no.
Alex shook his head and tsked. “Ryland, Ryland, Ryland. Buddy, how many times do I have to tell you the band is my job? The band is my fucking life, man!”
“I know. But maybe your life needs to become something that makes you more than a hundred bucks a week,” Ryland suggested.
“Some day my band will be raking in thousands, just wait and see.”
3 months later
Ryland sat on the couch, playing Kill Core. He was home alone, which had been a rare occurance the past five months. Alex had gone off to meet his bandmate to “discuss the future of the band.” Less than an hour later, Ryland heard the front door slam as Alex stormed in.
“Dude, what the hell?” Ryland exclaimed, standing up and turning to see Alex.
“Brian quit the fucking band! There’s no band now! My life is fucking over now!” Alex yelled, moving past Ryland and throwing himself onto the couch.
Ryland didn’t know how to respond to his state of clear distress. “Uh, did he say why he quit?”
Alex sat up and nodded somberly. “He’s moving to a different city with his family and ‘needs to finally leave this shitty excuse for a band,’” Alex sighed. “Those were his wifes words, not his. But it doesn’t matter, my life is fucking over Ryland!”
Ryland sighed and sat down next to him. “Hey, no it’s not. Maybe this is a sign to turn things around. Get a job, save some money, move out, maybe pursue music again in the future.”
Alex turned to look at him, frowning pathetically. “Ryland, I’m too depressed to get a job right now. I need to wallow in self pity.”
Of course he has another reason to avoid getting a job, Ryland thought. But Alex looked genuinely upset. There’ll be other times to give him shit about this, he decided. “It’s okay, man. You can stay here as long as you need. As if I could control you staying or going at this point.”
Alex turned back to look at him again. “You mean it? Like, you don’t actually want me out of here as soon as possible?”
Ryland shrugged. “I guess not. I’m used to having you around now. But this doesn’t mean you can stay forever.”
Alex smiled weakly. “Of course not.”
“And you need to get a job eventually.”
Alex leaned his head on Ryland’s shoulder, ignoring the comment. “I know this seems silly to you, but fuck, dude. That band meant everything to me.”
“I know.”
“Don’t you have work soon?”
Ryland looked at the time. Sure enough, he had to leave for a shift soon. “Uh, yeah. I should probably get ready.”
He moved to stand up, but Alex grabbed his arm. “Wait,” he said. “Could you stay? Just for tonight? I don’t want to be alone right now.”
Ryland looked at Alex.
Alex looked at Ryland.
“Yeah,” Ryland sighed. “I’ll text my boss.”
He sat back down. Alex leaned back over, resting his head on Ryland’s shoulder. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
Ryland pulled out his phone and texted his boss that he was sick and couldn’t make it in. He sat his phone down and took a deep breath. Alex’s head on his shoulder was weirdly comforting, although he wasn’t really in need of comforting. He couldn’t put a word to the feeling.
“Hey Ryland?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re my best friend. I love you.”
Okay. That’s not something I’ve heard in a while, he thought. I have to reply to that, don’t I? What the fuck do I say?
“You don’t have to reply or say it back or anything. I know you’re weird about emotions,” Alex said. “I just wanted to tell you.”
Ryland still didn’t know how to respond to that. So he didn’t. He instead opted to change the subject. “Do you want me to turn on a movie?”
“Yeah, can we watch Wet Hot American Summer? It’s one of my favorites,” Alex replied contentedly.
“Okay, sure,” Ryland answered, thankful that Alex wasn’t going to press him about the best friend thing and his lack of a response.
“Alex?” Ryland said, a few minutes later.
“Mhm?”
“You’re my best friend, too. I mean, my only friend, but it still counts,” he blurted out.
“You’re my only friend too,” Alex replied. “But you’re the best only friend I’ve ever had.”
“I guess I could say the same thing about you.”
“That makes me happy.”
They lapsed into silence. It was comfortable and felt like the most familiar thing in the world. Less than halfway through the movie, Ryland realized Alex had fallen asleep resting on his shoulder. He considered getting up to grab his controller and go back to playing games. It was what he used to do back when Daniella and his other exes would fall asleep on him like that. But Ryland knew it would wake up Alex, and he didn’t want that. So he stayed.