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Chapter Text

The day before she arrived, Tango found himself hunched over a small red stone contraption that refused to work.

The infinite wires and large metal structures to hold up more wires surrounded him like a cage. A cage he built himself, but a cage that could trap him endlessly and just as easily. And if it weren’t for the glow from his hair and tail, he’d be surrounded in darkness. Only barely illuminated by the soft light emanating from the red stone.

Every small moment echoed throughout the structure along with the low hum of machinery. And if it weren’t for this stupid hunk of metal in front of him, he’d say it was his happy place.

Sweat beaded on his upper brow, and whether it was from the circuits doing well to trap the heat he naturally produced, or simply the heat the machines did, he could feel himself grow increasingly uncomfortable.

And with the discomfort, came the eventual frustration.

A soft, annoyed rumble appeared in his throat, but with immense amounts of self control, he was able to keep it down. Growls were ugly after all, and Tango had a distaste for a Hellion’s sounds.

“Hells Bellow!” He hissed, feeling the curse slip from his lips too easily. The flames on his head blazed with a new intensity.

The blue flame flickered angrily as he shifted his tail to try and find the issue. He didn’t need torches when he had his own light.

The redstone seemed like it should’ve been working. The repeaters looked to be working right, everything seemed connected, and the observers really should’ve been observing! And yet, he couldn’t see anything that looked out of the ordinary. The harsh, blue glare illuminating the wires was not good enough.

Tango had to swallow his pride and he opened his inventory to see if he had any torches. He would have to find more light.

He grumbled as he flicked his hand to summon the torch from his inventory, peevishly planting it on the ground right next to the contraption. It was almost immediately that he realized what was wrong.

A repeater wasn’t entirely flicked to the desired setting, it was in between ticks. Tango nudged it, and boom! The entire machine hummed to life.

“Yes! Finally!” Tango sighed, exasperated, flopping back onto the ground. His tail flicked happily back and forth as Tango released the tension in his back.

Tango slowly stood up, cracking every bone in his body and began to prepare for heading outside of the complex for a break. Decked Out always had a knack of taking all of his energy out.

His foot planted on a large metal pipe as he hoisted himself out of the small nook of mechanics that he had nestled himself in. He observed the space around him and eventually found the path of least resistance out.

He jumped onto a colossal fan blade and panicked when the fan began to shift with his weight. Tango’s tail wildly flipped around to find balance as he launched himself onto a nearby platform made of thick wires.

He lay there still for a moment, catching his breath, trying to ignore his heart pounding in his rib cage. The fire on his head waning slightly as Tango got a hold on his adrenaline.

Tango huffed, climbing up intricate metal framework to eventually flop onto a large copper pathway he’d built to avoid the very situation he had previously gotten himself in.

The cavernous back-room was dangerously dark. One might have been scared of monsters spawning, but luckily for Tango, the mechanisms produced so much heat, whatever spawned would be fried once the entire thing turned on.

After some walking and brief observations of the wiring, he arrived to the exit for the code of Decked Out. Tango pushed a large button and the heavy metal doors to the outside groaned in protest as they opened.

—

The sun stung his eyes, and a small hiss snaked out of his throat. Judging by the placement of said sun in the sky, it was noon. Which was odd, because he was sure it was 3:00 pm last time he was outside.

Tango grumbled, his soft blue flames flickering in irritation. He had been tinkering away for a lot longer than he realized. He stretched again and sauntered off to his storage system to fish out some food and water.

After all, Tango had found that he’d grown increasingly hungry once he realized how long he’d been redstone-ing.

The chests looked at him like an ant, and the soft sounds of pistons and carts behind the wall of storage whispered in his sensitive ears. One of his finer designs of a storage system, if you asked him.

Tango sauntered over to the food chests silently, not really bothering to hum like he usually did. He looked through some of his chests and found pretty much nothing, which made his eyebrows furrow. Surely he had some food.

Whilst digging around for something to eat, Tango felt the fur on his back stand on end. Someone was near. He knew that, logically, it was a friend, but something in his gut stirred with a territorial nature.

He hated this side of him. The Hellion side. If it were up to him, he’d become human. Which, he was basically a human, with how he acted, except for his physical appearance. That’s what made him feel as alienated as he did.

—-//—-///—-//—-

Hellion Biology Lesson 1: Physical Appearances

Hellions are often associated with fire. This is due to the flames that rest on their heads and tails. These flames react to chemical reactions in their brains that produce certain hormones to stimulate the fire.

First, it’s important to note that Hellions are sexually dimorphic. With females having a marking in the middle of their eyes. This marking resembles hot magma. This mark is often used as a cultural symbol, depicting marital status and other things of that nature. Other than that, Hellions express the same level of sexual dimorphism that humans do.

Also, most Hellions have claws on their hands and feet, only growing them around the ages of 4-5. These claws must be trimmed often by Hellions to make sure no health issues or injuries occur due to the sharpness of the claws.

A Hellions eyes are inverted, with the Sclera expressing pigmentation and the Iris being white. To add on, Hellions have a distinct lack of visible pupils.

A Hellions tail is usually donned with said fire most days, unless the Hellion is experiencing trauma, neglect, or other types of high stress. This fire usually only strengthens under greater emotion, like anger. Regardless, if you come across a Hellion, its tail will likely have a small tuft of flame on the very end.

Unlike the tail, the hair, specifically on a Hellion’s head, is not always present. Most often, a Hellions hair will remain similar to any other race of humanoids. Their hair has a shimmery appearance similar to enchanted armor, but otherwise, it looks what we would call ‘normal’. Of course, when a Hellion experiences certain strong emotions (positive or negative), the chemical reactions associated with those emotions will cause a chain reaction.

First, the reaction will take place. Then, the neurological response to said reaction will produce a number of hormones to stimulate the ignition/intensity of the flames. This is a very complicated phenomenon that cannot be directly controlled by Hellions.

Hellions do, in fact, have hair that does not turn to flames. This hair is located on the legs, pelvic, lower stomach and upper back area. This hair is most often described as ‘fur’ due to its roots in earlier evolutions of the Hellion.

The fur on the back, one of the most distinctive features on a Hellion, is a small patch of thick fur, that varies in color depending on the type of fire that the Hellion is fueled by (similar to their eye color).

Right above this patch is located a sort of scruff mother Hellions would grab their children by. Although it is a no longer a common practice, it has been tested and seen that the ‘scruff’ on a Hellion still works as intended. Similar to a domestic canine.

—-//—-///—-//—-

Xisuma cocked an eyebrow in amusement, walking toward Tango with his arms crossed. His eyes reflected a vague sense of humor and he spoke, “Jeez, Tango, tell me how you really feel,”

Tango huffed a bit, looking away, and ran his fingers through his flames to calm them. The weight of his hands and the sensation of them always did the trick and got rid of his fire. In their wake, was slicked back, icy blue hair.

“You startled me is all,” Tango began, his eyes trailing back to Xisuma’s visor, “plus, I haven’t eaten anything today, man. Cut me some slack.”

Xisuma snorted, pulling out his communicator. Curtesy of Mumbo years ago to help the guy with his admin responsibilities. Xisuma began to furiously type away at it absentmindedly, like it was second nature, despite the complicated interface it had.

The small device had all sorts of wires and extra add-ons that made its form more like a large tablet than something meant to be more like a phone.

“Fwip and I were talking about Jimmy’s visit to Hermitcraft,” Xisuma started, breaking the silence, his voice bouncing off of the cavernous walls.

Tango perked up at that.

After the rift had taken the hermits to Empires and vise versa, everyone had been asking for an easy way back and forth. Everyone missed everyone and the poor admins didn’t hear the end of it.

While it was possible to travel to other servers, it took a lot of effort and time. Since servers were much harder to access than something like Hub, many just stuck to their homes. And, as Xisuma and Fwip had found out, it was much smarter (and easier) to simply utilize the rift than to facilitate server migrations constantly.

Because, knowing Jimmy and Tango after Double Life, there would be a LOT of back and forth between servers.

“Yea? What about it?” Tango asked, feeling a bit of nervousness pool in his gut at the mention. He kept his tone cool, relaxed, casual, just barely hiding his growing concern.

If there was something wrong with the gate way, and Tango would have to wait longer to see his Rancher again, he would riot.

“Well, we just got the system working this morning, and we were thinking maybe Jimmy could be our test run. In case there are any gaps in our firewall or kinks in the system. I just wanted to tell you about that before he comes over tomorrow,” Xisuma quickly explained, not looking up from his device even once.

Tango felt a small bubble of protectiveness rise in his chest. He didn’t particularly like Jimmy being a test run, if he was honest. He shook it off, knowing that the avian he chose to be his boyfriend would be fine.

He had to be.

“A test? What is he, a Guinea pig?” Tango asked, refusing to let a sneer wipe across his face, and instead keeping himself cool.

“He’ll be fine Tango. We wouldn’t use him as a test run if we weren’t 100% sure he’d be okay,” Xisuma smiled softly, patting the Hellion on the shoulder.

“I know he’ll be fine,” Tango spoke, not meaning to sound as defensive as he did. He didn’t mean to reply as fast as he did.

Xisuma’s eyebrows raised before he removed his hand from the shorter man’s shoulders.

“Alright, Tango, I’d best be off,” Xisuma said, rooting through his bag for something, “I don’t want to be a bother, and clearly you need to be left alone.”

Xisuma took the Hellion’s wrist and dropped a large bag into his palm. He didn’t speak, neither of them did, and Xisuma simply waved him off and walked towards a large open window. The window shrieked in harsh resistance. There, he took off into the now setting sun.

All that was left was a trail of smoke from Xisuma’s rockets.

Opening the bag, Tango found various foods. Probably Xisuma’s personal stash. He felt a bit embarrassed that his admin had to give him food, and he felt like he couldn’t provide for himself. His tail curled and uncurled in his irritation.

Because glancing back at his food chests showed he had nothing.

Tango assumed that Xisuma probably thought he was hangry.

Which was fair.

But it peeved him that the admin could be so kind, even to him. Even when he was such a pain.

Tango sniffed and rummaged through the bag and chose an apple.

It was crisp, sweet, and rejuvenating. With a sigh, he looked back up towards the sky where Xisuma had been. Tango took another bite and thought for a moment.

He definitely was pretty harsh on his admin. He’d usually be much more upbeat. More friendly. Maybe, it was the fact he’d spent the last day cooped up in his redstone.

Tango felt his eyes fall onto the apple in his hand. All that was left was the core.

His lips quirked up into a sneer and his brows furrowed. He looked back out of the window and into the sky.

The horizon was a deep red gradient to blazing yellow. Vibrant and warm. So incredibly beautiful.

Tango always had that appreciation for life. For the earth. For his server. And looking back at his apple, he could see it begin to oxidize.

It was all brown on the edges.

Tango took one more bite, his sharp teeth easily tearing through the flesh, and chucked the apple out of his window as hard as he could.

—

The day she arrived, Tango woke up full of nerves.

How could he not when Jimmy was going to come over to the Hermitcraft server that very day?

Tango stretched, feeling his back crack with a satisfying pop. He opened his communicator to a couple of notifications. Just the usual stuff, like Keralis asking if anyone had any idea where a weird build came from and Etho saying that he was going to the nether and to message him if ‘you needed anything’.

Tango felt a soft smile creep onto his lips reading everyone’s chats. All equally humorous and lighthearted. Each one encouraging him to have a better day than yesterday.

Grian, Scar, Mumbo, and Xisuma were apparently going to be camping outside of the rift to wait for Jimmy to join and give him a nice welcome party. They also mentioned if Tango would like, when he woke up, he was welcome to join them.

He smiled even more seeing Cub, Jevin, Zed, and Impulse offer to come along with Etho. All of them eager to get some materials they ‘desperately’ needed.

Tango then frowned once he realized it was 11:30 am. He cursed himself for not waking up when he should’ve to give himself enough time to properly prepare for Jimmy’s arrival.

His stomach growled, prompting him to kick his legs over the side of his bed and groan as all of the blood rushed down his body. His tail flicked back and forth as he rubbed his nape, massaging it gently before coaxing himself to actually get up.

He planted his clawed feet onto the ground, feeling a chill zip up his spine as he did. If sitting up didn’t wake him, that certainly did.

When he actually stood up, he stretched again and gave himself a moment to adjust to the sudden lightheaded sensation. He rubbed tears out of his eyes, the ones he usually got in the morning, and finally began shuffling into his kitchen to make something.

Tango didn’t want to make anything complicated for breakfast. Not only because he didn’t have the skills to make anything complicated, but also because he’d barf up anything too hardy.

Tango was really nervous and no amount of silly chat messages on his communicator would help.

He settled for eggs and toast; nothing was more simple than that. And thus, he didn’t have to worry about seeing his breakfast later after he’d already eaten it.

It smelled lovely, the eggs and toast cooking, especially with the various spices he’d gathered earlier that season. He’d almost say it was nostalgic, and he supposed at this point it was, but there weren’t luxuries like this in the nether.

As he sat down with his plate, it looked similar to the first real meal he’d ever had. The one he got when he randomly appeared in the Hermitcraft server back in season 2.

Minus the bacon, because it was too hardy for him today. But back then…

Tango hadn’t realized how starved he was.

—

Eggs looked nasty when he first saw them. All spongy and yellow, with flecks of black pepper and crystal salt. Who ate crystals?

The mustached man across from Tango seemed so nervous, waiting for Tango to do… something. Tango didn’t speak any English then, only his native tongue, so he didn’t know what was supposed to be in front of him.

He recognized bacon, though this bacon was pinker and redder, rather than brown and black when tender. But the eggs and toast were quite foreign to say the least.

“This is all we have on deck right now,” The mustached man spoke, trying to look friendly despite his hesitance, “So, sorry if it’s not much.”

Tango raised an eyebrow, trying to show this very tall, and very nice, mustached man that he couldn’t understand him.

“He doesn’t speak english, I think,” The man with the visor said fiddling with his new communicator, huffing in frustration when it didn’t do what he wanted it to.

“Aw, well- he’s looking at the plate like he’s never seen eggs before-! How’s he supposed to eat if he doesn’t know it’s food?” The mustached man asked, still soft spoken despite his desperation.

“Well, how about ya try to show ‘em that it’s okay to eat,” The long haired, blue shirted man offered, nodding towards Tango’s direction.

“I- wha-? Fine. But I can’t believe this guy doesn’t know what eggs are,” The mustached man sighed, grabbing a fork from a nearby drawer and sitting across from Tango.

Tango wanted to be more friendly towards these humans. Well, as far as he could tell, they were humans.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a human. Nor could he remember one that looked at him as kindly as these three did. Or one that wanted him to eat so bad, he ate eggs in front of him to coax him like he was three.

Tango took his own fork, which, at the time, he didn’t know was a fork, and speared a clump of eggs with little dexterity. He placed the eggs in his mouth and began chewing.

The nether didn’t have food, not like this. Tango didn’t know you could actually enjoy eating. That meals could mean more than survival.

Tangos eyes widened, leaning over to scoop as many of the eggs into his mouth. He eagerly munched on the bread. And the bacon, Hells Bellow the bacon, was so delicious. He’d never had a meal so large before.

Feasts were usually only for special occasions, and this was a large feast!

“Geez- how hungry were you?” The man with the visor asked, his eyes smiling brightly at Tango.

“I’m glad you ate, mate,” The mustached man began before hesitantly extending a hand, “I’m Mumbo, by the way.”

Tango raised another eyebrow. Not only at the hand gesture, one he wasn’t familiar with, but also at the words the mustached man had said. Said man furrowed his brows in confusion before suddenly looking very flustered.

“Sorry-“ he said, moving his hand to his chest, “Me. I’m Mumbo.”

Mumbo. Tango could understand that.

“Xisuma,” The man with the Visor said, placing his own hand to his chest, his eyes not glancing at the small device in his hands even once.

Xisuma. Tango could understand that too.

“I’m Joe Hills,” The long haired, blue shirted man smiled, “and you are?”

Joe Hills. Tango liked that name.

But he didn’t know why suddenly all three of the men, Mumbo, Xisuma, and Joe Hills, were looking at him. Had Joe Hills said something? What did he say at the end? Like Tango could even understand what he said.

“Ah, okay… uhh…,” Joe Hills began, walking up towards Mumbo, “Mumbo.”

He placed a hand on Mumbo’s shoulder.

“Xisuma,” Joe Hills placed a hand on said individual before placing a hand on his own chest, “Joe.”

Then, Joe Hills pointed a finger at Tango and pressed it against his chest, “You?”

Tango felt his head pause. They… wanted to know his name? Were they serious? At least, that’s what Tango assumed they wanted.

Tango opened his mouth, a little too eagerly, trying to rasp out a word, but not being able to. He cleared his throat, and coughed.

“Tango. TangoTek,” He said, his voice raspy, higher pitched, and rough. He smiled softly at the sight of all three of ‘em brightening at having heard his name.

“Tango. Well that’s a quite lovely name,” Mumbo smiled, glancing at his other two companions.

The other two nodded.

That gamble, that rip in the fabric of Tango’s reality. Bright, shifting purple, ebbing and flowing with the nether winds. A gamble for something new.

He’d heard of nether portals, before, but it was different.

A portal in the nether with no frame. He would had never gotten an opportunity like that again. He leapt, and dove face first into soft, green… something.

The green stuff was like roots, but with the shape of sword blades. It billowed with the wind. It was like waves of lava, but it was green. Deep, emerald green.

Then, there was endless expanse right above him, like the horizon of the nether, but forever up. And it was blue. Only warped fungus was blue. But this blue was soft and light. And this place- whatever it was, was so bright. The big thing in the sky, the white ball of flames, it was so, so bright.

This was the over world, like the stories he’d heard. Tango was glad he made that gamble.

This place was miles better than the nether.

—

He’d just finished his breakfast when he got the first of many messages on his communicator.

Impulse: HEY Tango, you need to come to spawn.

Tango raised his eyebrow and placed his dish in the sink, lazily scrubbing it knowing his friends could wait.

Zedaph: Tango seriously respond we know you’re not sleeping anymore

Okay, that was weird. Zed usually wasn’t so… harsh? Tango knew he had a tendency to let his own anger and frustrations out, but Zed? It wasn’t possible to read tone over text, but knowing Zed, and Tango knew him very well, he was stressed.

Tango picked up the pace, quickly finishing his dishes and turning off the faucet. He dried his hands and picked up his communicator to see 2 new messages.

Etho: Tango uhhh yea we kinda need you
Etho: really whenever you’re available

A new one popped up

Cubfan: we found something

Hm. Tango didn’t like that.

He hurriedly walked to his armory and donned his elytra, grabbing some fireworks and quickly walking toward the window that Xisuma had flown through the other day.

He climbed up on the sill, feeling the wings on his back spread in preparation for flight. Tango glanced to the ground to his right, where his rotted, half eaten apple lay on the ground.

He grimaced again before launching himself out of the window and rocketing into the bright blue sky.

Tango soared with a bit of urgency, but maybe he could’ve been quicker. He had replied, telling his friends that he’d be there ASAP. Unfortunately for Tango, his friends were getting incredibly impatient.

Zedaph: Tango, hey uhhh when are you gonna get here?

Impulse: seriously dude!

Cubfan: yea it’s kinda important you’re here

iJevin: Hey Tango, Impulse and Zed are freaking out, please get here

Xisuma: is something the matter? These messages are really beginning to concern me

Impulse: YES! SOMETHING IS VERY MUCH SO THE MATTER!

Xisuma: I’ll be there

Anxiety pooled in Tango’s gut, making him get all sweaty. The ground was rushing past him fast enough to make him motion sick, and even though his breakfast was light, it was fixing to make a second appearance.

Just then, spawn came into view, beautiful and serene (if you ignored the Hermits screaming at Tango to ‘come here’).

His feet collided with the ground harshly and he landed with an ‘uhmff’. Shaking off the impact, running his fingers through the flames that had unknowingly brewed on his scalp whilst flying over. He calmed them, as he always did, leaving his usual hair in their wake.

“Welp, your favorite hermit has arrived. What is it you guys wanted to show me?” Tango asked, forcing humor into his tone despite his anxiety, but only met with no real response other than a vague huff in amusement.

He looked up at the group of Hermits at spawn. There was Etho, Cub, Jev, Impulse and Zed. As well as some others drifting about the spawn, interested in the drama, but not interested enough to actually get involved.

Now, with Tango here, it was noticeably more quiet. It was strange. Each person had this… look on their face. It didn’t sit right with Tango.

Only Etho could look Tango in the eyes, and his eyes were full of something. They overflowed with some deep emotion and knowledge that he couldn’t place. If Tango was a little more frustrated, a little more ‘over it’, he could’ve called that look pity.

Cub then looked up from the ground and met Tango’s gaze.

“Tango- we didn’t-“ Cub began, cutting himself off in a loss for words. His eyes, once soft and swimming with regret, now were hard with guilt.

Zed, previously harsh and adamant on his presence at spawn, had this horrible look. This look of anxiety fueled remorse definitely did not help with Tango’s already present nausea. And what was worse was his silence.

“I- Tango… we know how you feel about nether stuff,” Impulse started, carefully approaching, “and there aren’t any others of you on the server.”

Hellions, Tango noted, is what ‘you’ meant.

In Impulse’s arms was a small swaddle of blankets, obscuring Tango’s view of what was in it. Something that Impulse was cradling. Something that would need blankets would probably be fragile, and Tango furrowed his brow trying to figure out what could be in them. Possibly a nether relic? That would make sense why they needed Tango. They needed him to identify it.

It might have words on it, in an old nether language, and it made him a little sick in the stomach to think he might have to read Hellspeak in front of all of his friends. To then translate it. A little, no, a big part of him didn’t want it to be a relic.

“We all know how you joined Hermitcraft,” Impulse paused to huff a laugh, “We’ve heard the story a million times. You just appeared randomly in the server, not even at spawn. You never really told anyone how you got there.”

“Or anything before that, actually,” Impulse continued, staring at the ground, his gaze just occasionally glancing at the bundle in his arms.

“Okay…? What am I here for?” Tango asked, feeling tension run up his body, and he was fighting to keep his cool and to keep his hair from igniting. Though, most of the time, that kind of stuff wasn’t in his control.

“Look, Tango, I need you keep an open mind,” Impulse said, hurriedly placing the bundle delicately in Tango’s arms, “and especially an open heart.”

Tango cradled it like he saw Impulse had. It had a very strange weight to it. After all, it was very heavy for its size. And, if he stayed still enough, he could vaguely feel a small amount of movement.

Almost like breathing.

“You were the only person who could help,” Impulse whispered, his voice pathetically wet as he carefully pulled the blankets back.

Tango tore his eyes away from Impulse, and onto the thing in the bundle.

His heart dropped.

Ever since he joined Hermitcraft that day, he convinced himself, deluded himself, into believing that Hellions were naturally ugly.

They were not beautiful like avians or fawns. Like merfolk or Tanukis. Like goats or sheep. Hell, not even like vexes or imps.

Hellions had no beauty. Everything they made was ugly like their sounds. Every growl, hiss, or purr was ugly. Hideous. His claws and teeth were sharp. His hair was a symbol of his anger and violence. His eyes usually bright red throughout, broken up by a white dot.

Even when Bdubs called him cool once, that was all he was. Cool.

He could never be more than a sweet, temporary reprieve. Just a one time fascination, and truly nothing more. Something that rots and goes away with all time.

While they, his friends, his life, were beautiful, forever unchanging and always. They stood as pillars of love and were his saviors from a hellish life. He could never be like them in his mind, and he came to terms with that.

It didn’t hurt anymore like it used to.

But this, seeing it in his arms, made him go numb.

He couldn’t feel anything, his body consumed with an infinite dread that ate him alive. It numbed his ears, he couldn’t hear. It numbed his legs like he wasn’t standing. And it numbed his eyes, as it gave him tunnel vision.

Because this, this thing in the blankets, it was beautiful. It was everything he swore Hellions couldn’t be. The very thing he had convinced himself HE couldn’t be.

So shockingly beautiful for something so hellish.

In his arms, was a baby. Judging by its little pointed ears, shimmering hair, and skinny tail, similar to his own, it was a Hellion. Like him.

And it was beautiful.

What hurt him, what made him wanna scream, cry, yell, and fight everyone around him, was its tail.

There was no flame. No flicker. No nothing. It made him sick. It made him angry. It made him want to rip the world apart.

Because he swore he’d never love a Hellion. He’d said all Hellions were disgusting.

But this baby, it had a small dot in the middle of its forehead. This dot shimmered and shined like fresh magma.

It was a baby girl.

Chapter Text

Running.

Fast, quick breaths resonated in his skull.

Tango has been running for years. Maybe, if he really wanted self pity, his entire life. After all, that’s the only way one can live in the nether. And of all the times he ran, he couldn’t pick out a single time he’d felt good about it.

This time, he was running from others. Hellions.

Hellions which Tango had been stupid enough to steal from. Though, to be fair, their rations were out in the open, and he was so hungry. If they were smart, and actually hid their food, maybe they wouldn’t be in this situation.

Screaming sand brimming with souls and haunting blue flames so hot that they could burn anything. No escape routes, not yet. The ash in the air burned his lungs, and it didn’t help he was sucking in mouthfuls of it.

There were four Hellions, two built like twigs but fast as all hell, one built like a mountain, and another with blue soul fire on his head. Those ones were the ones you should be scared of.

Tango didn’t know how far they’d be willing to chase him for some crappy hoglin jerky.

But it felt like Tango had been running and weaving for hours, and his stamina was beginning to wane.

Launching himself into a forest of warped fungus, he hoped to be able to lose the aggressors. Muddy, teal-blue colors wizzed past him, and his heart hammered knowing what the Hellions would do to him if they caught up.

He leaped and bounded through the mycelium roots, feeling the small, soft mushrooms crush beneath his feet.

They cursed at him, yelling colorful, hateful words that only peeved Tango off rather than offend him.

The pounding of feet got closer, and their sneers got louder. One of them, the one that was built like a mountain, had been growling, and those growls got louder and louder.

This felt like a nightmare. And Tango?

Tango felt like prey, weak and endlessly stubborn, deluding itself into thinking that it could live. He felt feeble, like he was at the hands of something greater than him.

That feeling felt familiar.

Tango swiveled his head around, only to be met with their evil grins and sharp teeth feet away from him. But, what Tango didn’t notice, was the cliff. His foot caught on a small stone wedged in between the blue, pulsing roots of the large warped fungus.

And despite him being a desperate guy, Tango wasn’t desperate enough to willingly plummet off of some steep rocks. Too bad he didn’t necessarily have a choice.

The velocity and the rocks colliding with his skin knocked all of the air out of his lungs. Cutting, bruising, tearing into his flesh. He tumbled down the cliffside, trying to protect his head, trying not to die.

If there was lava at the bottom of this cliff, Tango would die, and that fear of death exploded from his gut and bled into every limb on his body.

Thankfully, the momentum ended the second he smashed into a large boulder. He couldn’t move, his body hurt so bad.

The assailants whooped and cackled at him falling. High-fiving each other when Tango lay motionless at the bottom with the red and brown rocks. He was half-acting, half-paralyzed with fear. Only once their loud celebrations dimmed into silence did he even attempt to move.

He carefully opened one of his eyes, and when he saw no one, he sat up. He hissed, clutching his right arm that stung to high-hell.

Tango slowly lifted his hand up a little even as it shook violently. He held back a growl, seeing the gash on his bicep. His tail flicked angrily, and he covered his arm back up.

Tango then realized how exposed he felt, knowing that if any creature saw him, his visible injury would be the death of him. He kicked his feet against the ground, shoving his back in a nook within the cliffside.

He coughed, his throat raw and sore from the poor air. And a sudden, overwhelming lightheadedness came over him with the adrenaline finally wearing off. His entire right arm was hot with blood and pain.

Tango used his left to try and rip some cloth from his pants, though at this point they were thin rags, but needed to use his right for support.

Clenching his teeth through the pain and letting a violent growl rip through his throat eased the searing agony.

His hands, reliably unreliable, shook like an earthquake. Tango felt the agitation at his own inadequacy build up, tying a loose bandage around the injury.

Once it was covered, Tango went limp, his body much too tired to move anymore. His chest was heaving, and his heart was screaming at him.

He felt like he was going to vomit.

Tango took in serval breaths, trying to calm himself and his stomach. He shakily reached into his pocket to pull out the rations he’d stolen. He almost glared at the small satchel, like it had personally wronged him.

One bite of the jerky made his nose scrunch up, its bitter taste enough to bring the nausea back. But Tango, ever the survivalist, ate the entire bag, which was marginally more than nothing.

He reached in a different pocket, fishing out a warped mushroom and bit into it. He chewed till all of the water left its flesh. Tango spat the wad of mushroom out and onto the ground.

He felt the yellow flames on his head wane, remaining a small pyre. Tango rarely let his mind wander, as you needed to be aware 24/7 in this place, but once couldn’t hurt, right? It’s not like he could focus on anything else.

What was there to even think about…?

Fire? No.
Lava? That’s the same as fire.
Rocks? No, not after what just happened.

His tail flicked, the flames on it dancing beautifully.

…Hair? Sure.

Tango sometimes wondered what his hair looked like. He had never seen it before, since mirror shards were rare and he’d never felt relaxed enough to extinguish.

You’d think that if you were scared enough, your fire would eventually extinguish on its own. That it’d be too tired to keep staying alive. That maybe, just maybe, your body would get used to it. But maybe Tango had yet to lose that spark in his life.

Though, he remembers her hair. Even after all this time.

This wasn’t a good path to go down, deep down Tango knew that, but his brain was already sifting through the memories.

She was so beautiful; her long, straight hair shimmered like magic, and it covered Tango like a dark red canopy as she leaned over to stare at his face and smile. Tango loved sleeping in her lap.

He reached up a small palm, outstretched for her face. He could see his claws beginning to grow. She smiled more.

“Your name is older than our ancestors,” she whispered, because father was sleeping, “Do you know why I chose it to be yours?”

If Tango closed his eyes, maybe he’d dream of her-

His foot twitched from not moving for too long and knocked into a pebble. The sound, sharp and quick, tore him out of the memory.

Tango cursed, remembering exactly why he didn’t let his mind wander. Because wandering brought memories.

And memories brought tears.

It felt like his heart split in two, his soul being wrenched from his body and burned. His throat closed up, trying to wretch out a sound of despair.

But Tango couldn’t do anything but whimper. He just held himself close, tucking in his knees and clutching his right arm. He buried his head as the flames on his scalp worsened.

His bicep ached, sure, but his heart hurt way worse.

That was the day he decided to never let his mind wander again, because Tango didn’t like the places he’d go.

—

“H-how?” Tango stammered, blinking back to reality and looking Impulse in the eyes.

It was beyond perplexing, finding a Hellion in the over world. Tango, reasonably, would expect himself to be the only Hellion his friends would ever see. His kind didn’t get chances to live in this dimension. Thus his shock.

This little girl, she was a… miracle.

“I don’t know- she was just there and- Tango, you’re okay, right?” The imp implored, his eyes frantically searching Tango’s for something.

“I- I’m fine, I just…” Tango trailed off, suddenly taken over with the urge to check her. He hadn’t evaluated her health yet- she could be hurt!

He frantically looked over her body, pulling back the blankets slightly to see if she was injured, malnourished, or something. The only things he found of note was the dirt and ash all over her and a small chip in her left ear. Thankfully, it had long since healed.

Her tail was still snuffed out, and that annoyed him. He wanted to help her, and he vaguely knew how, he just didn’t think he was capable. Hellions aren’t good parents.

His gut twisted again.

The heavy sound of footsteps crashing into the pavement snapped Tango out of his own head. He looked up, seeing a familiar visor running towards them.

Xisuma kept to his word, and had come as fast as possible. Even from a distance, Tango could see the worry in his eyes.

The fear.

After all, his server, that of which he’d been protecting and administering for years, was in danger.

And because of the cryptic messages in the chat, he had no idea what to expect. Tango would almost feel bad for Xisuma, if he wasn’t already going through turmoil.

“I’m here! I’m here! What’s wrong?” Xisuma exclaimed, panting and exasperated, his eyes frantically scanning the small group of hermits. When they finally landed on the baby, they widened.

Xisuma was usually the level headed one. Tango could at least tell himself that the admin would fix things. Xisuma could be rational and not make rash decisions-

“What?!” He yelped, immediately covering the mask over his mouth afterwards. The baby stirred, her eyes opening a little but immediately shutting due to the bright sun.

She’s probably never seen the sun.

Tango felt his tail curl and uncurl in a familiar pattern. Her eyes, even though he only saw a glimpse, were as red as his way back in season 8. She made a small sound in discomfort and tried to curl in on herself.

Was she… cold? The over world did the same for him when he first arrived, it naturally being cooler. Tango didn’t greet Xisuma, or chastise him for waking the baby, but instead focused all of his attention on her.

He placed a hand on her skin, feeling that she was, indeed, cold. A Hellion being cold was bad, because if they were too cold for too long, they could get really sick.

Tango glanced to her hair. He felt his lips tighten. Her hair was red, Kinda like his mom’s hair-

No.

Tango blinked as his mind got back on track.

He felt his body flush, and his hair then ignited into a great flame. He tried to increase his body temperature in an attempt to warm her up. At least, to warm her until her body got used to the climate of the over world.

He heard a sharp inhale to his right at the instance his flames appeared. He finally looked up and away from her to the culprit. It was Impulse. The imp looked back and forth between him and Xisuma rapidly. Drawing his eyes towards the admin, Tango realized that Xisuma looked scared.

Did he really think Tango would hurt him?

“I’m not angry. She’s cold,” Tango spoke, walking over to a nearby wall to plant himself down on.

Xisuma looked a little perplexed before clearing his throat. He straightened himself, immediately falling back into the admin role.

“Where did you find her? Her, right, Tango? You said it’s a her?” Xisuma asked, quickly looking back to the Hellion.

Tango nodded absentmindedly, staring at her face, “It’s a girl,”

“Okay, where did you find her?” Xisuma asked again. He glanced hesitantly towards the group of hermits.

Tango then looked up at them too, furrowing his brow when they seemed to be at a loss for words.

“I found her,” Etho finally spoke, his eyes locked onto Tango’s, “Cub calmed her down. She was crying.”

“In the nether, I presume?” Xisuma raised his eyebrow.

“Where else would you find a Hellion?” Tango piped up, raising an unamused eyebrow. They laughed awkwardly, which made him pause.

Why were all of his friends acting like strangers? Surely it wasn’t just because of the baby, right?

“Yea… uh… and there was no mother?” Xisuma huffed, checking his communicator, most likely for the player count.

Tango’s eyes trailed down to X’s hands. They were shaking. Tango grimaced and looked back down at the baby.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if the mother left,” Tango spoke, much too quickly and much too harshly. And, might he add, he really should’ve thought before he spoke.

Because with few words, all eyes were on him. All were speechless.

Tango didn’t speak of his life in the nether to his friends. He had no reason to.

When he lived in the nether, everyone suffered so much, there was no point in talking about it. Once he left, he didn’t really want to anyway.

So why bother with memories of the past?

Why bother with the feeling of heartbreak and loneliness? Why bother to think of all the other species that could be good parents? Why bother with the blood and torment and heat and death?

Why bother?

—-//—-///—-//—-

Hellion Biology Lesson 8: Internal fire.

As discussed in Lesson 1, a Hellion’s most recognizable feature is the flames on the top of their head.

And as previously stated, the process in which the ignition happens is very complicated, and deserves a book on its own. However, this chapter will go a little more in-depth.

Yes, the ignition is caused by a variety of hormones activated under high emotional stress, but that fire is derived from a Hellion’s heart. The strength of their internal flame.

The heart of a Hellion is incredibly hot, and is used to boil the blood to support their incredible amounts of heat.

This heart, if taken out of a Hellion’s chest, will immediately ignite once exposed to oxygen.

With all of these factors combined, one may ask why it’s only the scalp that ignites. This can easily be explained by the fact that the hair is covered in a very thin coat of oil around the roots, like humans. This oil, as one can assume, is highly flammable, and allows for every follicle to be consumed in flames.

This heart is also the source of a Hellion’s very vague fire manipulation. Though, to call it manipulation is a bit of a lie. Hellions can simply ignite the oil on their hands and act as though they have innate magic. They do not.

The Hellion’s heart is commonly called an ‘internal fire’. The strength of the heart, the strength of the Hellion, can be determined by the color of hair. This color can, in fact, fluctuate, but most of the time, a Hellion’s hair color stays the same throughout their life. This hair color also correlates with the color fire they will produce.

The weakest color is red. Any red-flamed Hellion is often not very healthy overall. Red flames can indicate poor mental health, poor nutrition, illness, and a variety of other issues. While the color red can be improved to orange, and even yellow, the dimmer the red gets, the more dire the condition.

Most Hellions die with brown hair.

Orange is the in between, it’s not necessarily bad, but it’s an indicator that a Hellion needs to improve its health. This color may also be achieved through poor mental health.

Yellow is the ideal stage in which a Hellion can be in. Not too hot, like blue (soul) fire, but not too cool. It is a prime state of a Hellion, and is an indicator of good health physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Blue fire, also known as Soul Fire, is the strongest a Hellion can be. To become blue, one must undertake an old ritual to infuse their heart with the fire. It is a very risky ritual, and its common knowledge among Hellions that those with Blue flames are to be avoided.

One must expect that if a Hellion’s hair ignites, it is almost always that they are upset. This reaction only happens with a Hellion’s despair. So please, take great caution when around one.

—-//—-///—-//—-

Xisuma looked at him in an incredulous way. Tango tried not to shrink under the weight of his eyes.

After all, many Hermits had incredible respect for the guy, Tango included. So to feel his entire focus on you, complete and uninterrupted, was difficult to bear. And to make it worse, it was not positive. Not really.

Tango straightened his back, and cleared his throat, his eyes tearing away from the admin. They landed on the baby.

Her eyes were fully open now, carefully observing Tango’s movements. They were a deep red, like most Hellions. Her white pupils darted back and forth from his features curiously. After a few moments of staring at each other, the girl reached her arm up towards Tango’s face.

For a moment, a brief moment, it was like he wasn’t at spawn anymore. It felt as though he was existing in an in-between world. It was just him and her, eyes sparkling in amazement at the other’s brilliance. Tango felt a noise bubble in his chest. A purr.

He blinked, looking away from the baby, choosing not to let himself go like that. Tango knew he couldn’t parent, even if he wanted to. Even if he craved it.

No. He couldn’t.

Tango cleared his throat, not even daring to look at Impulse’s horrible expression. (Tango still saw it, though he wish he hadn’t).

“I mean, biologically speaking, Hellions aren’t that compassionate. I- I uhm… I don’t think I could take care of her like you guys think I could,” Tango explained, barely above a mumble. He could see Xisuma’s look of confusion further.

His mask hid his face well, but Xisuma was quite expressive in the eyes. Luckily for the hermits, his eyes had plenty of creases and wrinkles to show his joy, and his eyebrows were dark enough to easily spot his anger. They didn’t need to see his mouth to know he was smiling. And Tango didn’t need to see his half-frown, half-grimace to know that X was wrestling with his thoughts.

“Not compassionate? Tango- what’re you-? Okay, you aren’t actually saying we get rid of her, right?” Impulse asked, waving a hand in the air to show his bafflement.

“No- it’s just- Hellions aren’t exactly,” Tango paused, glancing around at all of the speculative faces, “I don’t know…”

“I just don’t understand how the baby could’ve gotten here without the mother. It doesn’t make sense,” Xisuma muttered, begrudgingly pulling his communicator out of his pocket and beginning to go through the code.

Tango could understand how. He remembered how he got to the over world. He’d been walking through the nether, taking his daily trek, and came across a rip in the air.

It was purple and looked like smoke twisting in on itself. Swirling and curling all around in every which way, and yet confined to this rip. He had heard of nether portals before, but this had no frame.

Maybe, in his head, this was an opportunity out. He’d promised someone he’d take the first chance he’d get. And Tango kept his damn promises.

The rest was history, of course, soon after being found by Mumbo.

Though, Tango had never really told that story before. He’d kept it behind a sealed gate locked behind another gate with an extra padlock. Because no one really needed to know more than ‘he just found a portal’.

Though, Tango didn’t like what that meant. The baby, if it was the same way he got there, couldn’t have reached the rift on her own. She would’ve had to been placed in there.

So either that meant two things: the mother sacrificed her opportunity to go to the over world, so her baby could have it, or the mother threw the baby in.

Tango knew Hellions well enough to know what the mother chose. They just weren’t as compassionate as over world species. And he knew that because he’d seen it over and over.

And now, Tango was met with another two conflicting choices. Either tell his hermits that, or don’t.

He inhaled deeply when he chose what to do. Because this was gonna be hard.

“Well, if it matters, which I’m sure it doesn’t, but it was a weird portal that brought me here,” Tango spoke, feeling the baby gently tug on his shirt.

He didn’t look down, instead looking at Zed’s immediate and complete interest.

“Uh… oh yea? What uh… what else?” Zed pressed.

“It was uhm… it was like a rip in the air, which now that I’m saying that out loud, it looked a lot like the rift,” Tango explained suddenly allowing his face to crack into a smile.

Of course! How couldn’t he see it before?

“Ya think you may have gotten here from a tiny rift in the server code? And she did too?” Xisuma piped in, suddenly invigorated with a sudden burst of energy.

“That uh… makes a lot of sense,” Impulse mumbled, rubbing his slight stubble in contemplation.

“So… maybe when you established a connection yesterday, there was something wrong,” Tango said, his eyes lighting up as his brain worked. After all this confusion and emotional turmoil, it felt nice to put himself on autopilot and just think about server mechanics.

“If that’s the case,” Xisuma said, his brows furrowing, “then maybe we should wait for Jimmy to get here. I’ll message Fwip to tell Jimmy not to join.”

Tango felt like punching something. Not only was he given a random baby, but his boyfriend wasn’t allowed into the Hermitcraft server after months of waiting.

Though, and Tango was really trying to grasp at straws, he knew Jimmy was a sentimental fellow. Jimmy, being the empathetic guy he is, would probably make it very difficult to form no attachments to the baby.

But even still, Tango’s fire flickered in his open irritation and Xisuma noticed that. His eyes widened before he cleared his throat and held up his hands defensively.

“Look, I know you’ve been waiting for this but-“

SolidarityGaming has joined the game

“Crap-!”

—

The Ranch had just been burned down. And now, the two of them were lying down under the stars. They had only a few extra blankets in a separate chest, but even they did little to keep the heat in.

Well, only for Jimmy. Tango wasn’t too cold.

The loose frame of their house stood haphazardly and shook with the nightly breeze.

The stars were twice as beautiful tonight, almost as if they were trying to say ‘Sorry for your crap day’.

They were both silent, cause Jimmy was too busy tucking his wings all around his body to keep in what little body heat he had.

Tango, despite how peaceful it truly was, felt a guilt eating at him. It was like a caterpillar eating a rotten tomato.

He’d completely lost his temper earlier when he saw his base burning, and it took so much effort from Jimmy to get him to cool down. Figuratively and literally.

And not only was it his base, it was a base he’d been so sure Jimmy would hate. But Jimmy, always so amazing, loved it to bits. And Tango hated losing that.

Tango rolled over, lying on his side facing Jimmy’s back.

“I’m sorry,” Tango whispered, feeling his heart squeeze in silent prayer Jimmy wasn’t mad at him.

“For what?” Jimmy replied, looking over his shoulder at Tango’s face.

“For uh… losing my cool in front of you. That was pretty ugly,” the Hellion mumbled, shifting his head a little to stare at the blades of grass.

Jimmy rolled over, shivering when the stored heat escaped his blanket through the movement.

“Ugly? Tango, you were just angry. I was angry too,” Jimmy huffed, his entire body shaking with his soft laughs.

“No- it’s different,” Tango argued, seeing Jimmy’s eyes grow more and more fond the more Tango tried to demonize himself.

“It’s really not, Tango. We all get angry,” Jimmy said, his smile sick with something Tango could not yet place, “besides, if it took the Ranch being burned to sleep with you under the stars, maybe it needed to go.”

Now, Tango is a mature man with mature vocabulary. Equally, Tango knew what ‘sleep with’ meant, and it had no other connotation. Nope. Not at all.

But, unfortunately, Tango couldn’t exactly help it when his face flushed to a beet red and his hair ignited into a strong yellow flame. His eyes were wide and startled from Jimmy’s words, and his mouth was pressed into a thin line.

Jimmy then got this embarrassed look on his face as his eyes swam with regret.

“Sorry- I didn’t know that’d bother you,” he stammered, shaking his hands in a gesture of surprise.

Tango quirked an eyebrow. What? He wasn’t bothered, but maybe-

Oh.

“I’m not upset,” Tango sighed, his eyes beginning to grow soft as they met Jim’s, “it’s not always a bad thing when that happens.”

“It’s not?”

“No, my hair does that whenever I feel something strongly. Which for Hellions, I suppose that’s mostly anger.”

Jimmy’s shoulders deflated a little at the end and Tango was quick to amend that.

“But I liked it,” he added on, immediately cringing afterwards.

Jimmy’s mouth fell agape for a moment before pulling himself together, and Tango grinned when he saw how pink Jimmy was.

“I… I see,” Jimmy whispered, looking almost enamored with the Hellion in front of him.

“Sorry,” Tango apologized, “that was weird.”

“No- it wasn’t!” Jimmy quickly replied, waving his hand in a general gesture of good faith. Tango felt the butterflies appear at Jimmy’s expressive hands.

“We really need to stop saying sorry,” Tango whispered, holding back a small laugh.

“You said it first! Besides, we need to work on not being so awkward all the time,” Jimmy actually laughed, not caring if the sound carried over to the Jellie Reserve with that traitor Scar.

They both sat in silence, staring at one another. Their faces were ladened with such sweet admiration. And Tango could see that Jimmy wasn’t cold anymore.

“I think your fire is nice though. It’s very pretty,” Jimmy whispered, his eyelids suddenly looking very heavy.

“Oh? It’s pretty? Not just cool?” Tango wondered, half-joking, half-serious.

No one had ever called Tango’s flames… pretty.

“Yea… theyre pretty… just like you…” Jimmy mumbled, sleep finally taking him.

If the air got colder all round them, or Tango just got hotter, he’d never know. What he did know was that he lost a lot of sleep that night, as his mind swam with electricity.

And if Tango counted the seconds until Jimmy would wake again, that was for him to know.

—

Crap was right.

If Xisuma didn’t have a reason before to have a heart attack, he sure did now.

He became very quiet, violently tapping at his communicator, going over every inch of code. Walking off, he left the group to sit on a faraway bench all hunched over.

“Poor X,” Jevin mumbled half-heartedly before glancing back at the group. He shifted his weight awkwardly, beginning to fiddle with his hands.

“Guys, I really don’t think it’s my place to be here. I’m kinda just standing around, and uhm, I’m not good with kids so,” the slime mumbled, pulling out some rockets and opening his elytra.

“Oh… uh, yea alright. Maybe we should all leave Tango to get to know the baby better? I mean, he is gonna take care of her,” Cub said, shrugging.

Tango’s head snapped up, his face twisting into that of shock. What? No! Why would they think that? Sure he hasn’t been repelled by her, he has no ill will, but that doesn’t mean he’s gonna be responsible for her!

“What? No! We’re taking her to Hub to put her up for adoption. I can’t take care of a baby! What even made you think I would?” Tango interrupted. His loud words caused the baby to shift in his arms and whine. He quickly placed a hand on her chest, and she grabbed his fingers.

“Hub? Are you serious? That could be dangerous, though. What if she got hurt?” Impulse interrupted, and Zed quickly began to speak again.

“Yea, besides, I thought you would’ve liked to see another Hellion? I know you don’t always think too highly of your species, but maybe a baby would’ve done you well?” The goat interjected, slowly approaching the two Hellions.

“No, Hellions aren’t like you or any other over world species. We don’t care like you. And besides, we couldn’t get her on an adoption server because those take years to even be open for applications. The quickest way is to go to Hub,” Tango argued, trying to keep his voice down.

“Why do you want to get rid of her so quickly? I thought you liked her, I mean, you haven’t put her in anyone else’s arms,” the imp quickly replied, not noticing how Tango’s flames flickered angrily at him.

Tango didn’t wanna say that he wanted her gone because it hurt him too much for her to be here. She was so innocent and sweet, and Tango would ruin that.

That’s just how Hellions are, they’re rotten and self centered. She deserved a family that wasn’t full of Hellions. Full of horrible people. She deserved a chance.

Tango didn’t want to say that he didn’t want to be like him.Tango would love be a father, but not in this lifetime.

Not when everything around him was so beautiful and lush. Not when the sky was blue and he could only hope that the blue of his fire was similar. Not when the animals played and didn’t fight, and especially not when he was surround by species not born of the nether.

Because whatever peace he brought to this beautiful girl, and he truly meant beautiful, it would be short.

“Because it’s for the best,” is all Tango said, not daring to look at Imp or Zed and especially not at her.

Impulse remained silent, but Zed didn’t want to stop.

“But Hub? Out of everything, Hub?” He implored, his face twisting with worry.

—

Hub was the center of everything.

It was twice as big as any server could be. Vast and empty, most of Hub was devoid of any intelligent life. Tango heard the further you got away from the mechanical mess at the center, the more beautiful it got. Tango, from what he was certain, was from the farthest reaches of Hub. Obviously, of course, in the nether.

The center of Hub, Spawn, was a massive computer network of all sorts of servers and wires. He’s only been there once before, and if he thought his mechanics were impressive, he was harshly humbled.

There were monoliths that towered over any of Hermitcraft build. They made his massive Deep Frost Citadel look like a hut. All of them were dark metal with bright neon colors as blood.

And in between all of the heat and technology lived people. Billions of people lived in this network, but not in the circuits. Because Billions more lived in the servers themselves. The pure concentration of all different species lived either in or right next to the Spawn of Hub.

Most people were born in Hub, because it’s what many call ‘the real world’. Tango was born there, and he was sure everyone else on Hermitcraft was too.

Besides, most servers don’t even allow conception, so if you wanted to start a family with your partner, most of the time you’d have to move into Hub for a couple years before going back to your server. Or, maybe you’d stay in Hub.

That’s where most of the orphanages and resources for young children were, so, in Tango’s head, that’s where the baby should go.

It’s really easy to get to Hub, since all servers are directly connected. That’s why most people meet up in Hub rather than across servers. It’s just more convenient.

Though, the only place of hesitance is something that kinda makes Tango want to not bother with going to Hub at all.

It’s why a lot of people stay away from hub.

If you die, you don’t respawn.

—

“Yes, Hub,” Tango said, his tone indicating finality. And, truly, it didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would.

Because, really, besides the baby being cute, he didn’t really feel attached. And that was really for the best. But he’d thought saying it out loud would hurt more.

Zed looked off, donning a deep grimace and reaching up to pull on his ear. Tango knew Zed had his grudges against Hub, and he did too, but Tango almost felt guilty.

Impulse looked less upset though, more bummed than anything. The imp swished his pointed tail back and forth uncomfortably. He cleared his throat as if he was going to say something before he was interrupted.

“Tangoooooo!” A very distant, very familiar voice called.

He whirled his head around, standing up instantly as he saw Jimmy barreling towards them, Scar, Mumbo, and Grian in tow. Tango pretended not to notice when his arms held the girl a little tighter.

Even still, his face couldn’t help but break into a massive smile at the canary’s shining eyes. His feet smashed into the ground as he bounded over and gave Tango a big kiss on the cheek.

It felt like electricity and fire and flowers and butterflies all at once. His face flushed and his fire flickered happily. Even on his tail. Tango’s free-hand found its way to the small of Jimmy’s back as the avian grabbed his face and planted another kiss on his lips.

Normally, Tango would be embarrassed to be kissed in front of his friends, but he’d waited so long for Jimmy to be here, he couldn’t care.

When they broke away, Jimmy stared into Tango’s blue eyes for a long time, searching endlessly for nothing in particular. It wasn’t until he noticed Tango didn’t really hug him back that he cocked his head to the side in confusion.

He looked down, and his eyes widened at the sight. Looking back up at him was a pair of curious red eyes and a pouty lip. Jimmy quickly looked back and forth between the two before whispering, “Did you have a baby?”

“What? Have a baby? Jimmy, I’m not a seahorse,” Tango laughed, feeling the heat radiate from Jimmy’s cheeks.

“Well- I don’t know and you don’t tell me these things!” The canary argued, not able to keep the smile from spreading across his face.

The three others, Grian, Scar, and Mumbo, landed and gaped at the sight of the baby. While Mumbo stayed still, Grian quickly approached with curiosity with his mouth hung open.

“Oh great heavens, there’s a little Tango! Aw he’s so cy-ute!” Scar spoke, walking around to get a better look.

“Where did you find them?” Grian asked, looking between the two men.

“I didn’t, the guys going to the nether this morning did,” Tango explained, feeling her wriggle in her blankets.

She seemed to be growing increasingly restless with each passing second. Jimmy cooed at her while placing his hand over his chest.

“Well are we gonna keep him?” Jimmy asked with sparkling eyes, making Tango’s gut twist in a good and bad way. He loved that Jimmy said ‘we’, but felt guilty that she wasn’t staying.

“Well, she is going to hub to be put up for adoption. I just can’t make it work with Decked Out two. Besides I’m not a good dad,” the Hellion elaborated, not missing how Jimmy’s face faltered.

“But I thought you said you’d love a family?” Jimmy whispered, clearly trying to keep his voice down for no one to hear. Unfortunately Grian was already too close and everyone at spawn had sensitive ears like Tango.

He felt a little uncomfortable, looking away awkwardly. Knowing he had told Jimmy that back in Double Life off-handedly without really thinking too much of it. And it wasn’t a lie, per se, but it hurt Tango to admit the truth.

“I… I do, but… not… I just- I can’t,” Tango whispered back, seeing Grian’s curiosity being over taken by unease at being too close.

“Well… uh…,” Jimmy began, quickly regaining himself by plastering on a smile, “we can just make a quick trip to Hub to drop her off for a couple of days and we can continue my visit when we get back!”

Tango appreciated Jimmy trying to look upbeat despite the bombshell of ‘I can’t’ clearly doing something to him. But Tango didn’t miss how Jimmy almost looked longingly at the little thing in his arms.

“Besides, babies are big decisions anyway,” Jimmy smiled, placing a hand on Tango’s shoulder.

A heavy set of boots could be heard approaching. It was Xisuma. He seemed to have aged three years in the span of a couple of minutes. He had his tablet of a communicator underneath his arm as he sighed.

“Guys I have bad news,” He started, grimacing when the small group stiffened.

“It’s not horrible, it’s just not great for a few of you. See, this is a huge security risk. We are incredibly lucky that a little baby got in and not a bad person. Because your safety is the most important, I have to put this server on lockdown,” X explained, staring directly into Tango’s eyes.

No.

That means…

“No one is coming in and no one is going out. That means Jimmy can’t go back to Empires for a while, and,” Xisuma paused, his eyes frowning at the Hellion, “she’s gonna be staying. I’d say a minimum of a month for me and Fwip to hammer this down. We can’t risk anything.”

All eyes were on Tango now. The eyes felt like pity. And Tango?

Tango felt like prey, weak and endlessly stubborn, deluding itself into thinking that it could live. He felt feeble, like he was at the hands of something greater than him.

That feeling felt familiar.

It was unfair. All of it.

This child deserved the world, not Tango. She deserved a loving family, not Tango. She deserved to have a chance, and definitely not Tango.

“And do I have to take care of her?” Tango asked, earning a jab in the side from Jimmy.

It also earned angry eyebrows from Xisuma as he opened up his visor to pinch his nose bridge.

“Tango, I understand you’re a busy guy, but you are a Hellion. She is also, obviously, a Hellion. We could never care for her like you could, alright? I don’t want to repeat this again. You are taking care of the baby and that’s final,” Xisuma spoke, his voice firm in a way Tango had never heard before.

Tango couldn’t help but shrink under the weight of X’s irritation.

He guess it made sense. From their point of view, of course.

They didn’t see the world like he did. They didn’t realize how lucky they were to grow up in this dimension. This endlessly beautiful dimension. Just like them.

They didn’t realize how lucky they were to love their species.

But, even with his apprehension and his history, Tango nodded. Because he respected Xisuma too much to disagree, especially when the guy was like this.

“Alright,” Tango sighed, hearing her whine in his arms.

Even though his knowledge was a little limited with kids, he knew what they needed. Like how to calm them, how to change and dress them, how to feed them-

Wait, when was the last time this little girl ate?

Tango paused, his eyes wide but his brows furrowed. Jimmy’s body stayed still as he noticed Tango’s rigidness. Panic and dread welled up in the Hellion’s gut and he quickly blurted out, “I need some warped mushrooms and a bucket of cows milk,”

“What-? Why?” Impulse spluttered, a little surprised at Tango’s sudden tone.

“Because she might starve if she doesn’t get some food,” Tango replied, a little too low for his own liking. A little too much like an animal.

That was one of the biggest reasons he hated being a Hellion.

Looking down at the baby, he felt a sinking dread that she might one day feel that hate for herself.

But maybe, that hate was just inevitable.

Chapter Text

—-//—-///—-//—-
Hellion Biology Lesson 4: Nutrition

Hellions, like humans, are omnivores, though, their optimal diet changes as they age. Generally, they enjoy produce and fruits, but are known to enjoy meat as well. Unfortunately, many Hellions do not have access to beneficial food and must settle for empty carbs and low proteins. This causes most Hellions to be quite skinny. Underfed Hellions tend to have very low-light tails. They also have a lesser chance of survival as it’s harder to survive on an empty stomach. It’s common for Hellions in groups to fight over meals, often leading to a death.

Equally, poor diets lead to poor dental hygiene as many have very dulled teeth. These poor diets include bones, hard dried meet, cartilage and other tough tissues.

The optimal diets for each age range goes as follows:

0-6 month olds usually drink milk from the mother. Hellions are mammals, after all, and a mother provides important nutrients to the growing child. The milk itself isn’t special, rather, the nutrients inside. Mothers don’t usually have enough left over to produce healthy milk, so they must eat Warped Mushrooms.

These mushrooms provide Hellions with water in their scorching environment. They are also chocked full of vital nutrients and proteins. When the mothers consume them while pregnant, a small amount of nutrients is set aside for the production of milk. This milk is then drank by the child and thus allowing them to grow.

Thankfully, for orphaned Hellions, this milk can easily be replicated with Cows, Pigs, or Hoglins milk mixed with Warped Mushrooms.

6-12 months is when solid foods are introduced for Hellion children. They will begin with softer fruits and veggies before transitioning to the harder foods. This soft produce should be rich in calcium, iron, and potassium. Thankfully, Crimson Berries are the go-to foods for young Hellions transitioning into solid foods.

1-5 years is meant to open up their pallets and diets to a variety of meats and fungi. These newer and more complex foods can be difficult to digest at first, so it’s best to stay away from them until the child is of age.

5-18 years is meant to establish a well enough diet to survive. Once they reach adulthood, 18 years old, they are ready to fully embrace the widest diet. But until then, they must keep a steady intake of good quality foods or else it may affect their growth and make it harder for their survival in the future.

18-50 years allows them to eat raw meat and other high-risk items like rotting meat. This comes from a need to survive. Their bodies are made to eat the inedible. This is their widest range of optimal food, but past this age, it gets slimmer.

50-100 years restricts Hellions to mostly eat simple veggies and fruits like ages 6-12 months. This is due to their weaker bodies and less capable digestive systems. Thankfully, most Hellions don’t make it past 50 in the nether, so most don’t have to worry about this set back.

And that is a common Hellion’s diet. It may seem grim to us over world creatures, but know that this is simply how they live. And it’s offensive to judge them too harshly on factors they cannot control.

—-//—-///—-//—-

“Okay, so Zed, you’ll get the mushrooms and Impulse, you’ll get the cows milk,” Tango instructed, patting each of the men on their back.

Cub and Jevin had already left, and Mumbo, Scar, and Grian went somewhere else to the shopping district. Mumbo seemed to be a bit flustered, something about Mumbo’s trip being postponed. The announcement of the lockdown had been blasted to both servers, and the reception was how you’d expect. But Mumbo stayed quiet, the underneaths of his eyes seemed to grow darker in those moments.

Grian and Scar were his side kicks, though the smaller avian still seemed uncomfortable from the situation with X. Scar, usually the upbeat one, kept his eyes down and gripped his cane a little tighter. To say people were tense was a perfect description.

“Okay… anything we need to look out for?” Impulse asked, scratching his horn and popping his back. Tango fought to not raise an ‘are you serious?’ eyebrow at the guy for being so bad at acting nonchalant.

X stood off to the side, silently, and Tango kept his eyes far away from his figure. His heart couldn’t take another ounce of X’s disappointment. His visor reflected the sun. His eyes were hidden.

“No, besides the obvious stuff,” Tango replied, trying to remove his hand from the baby’s grasp, “mold, poison, and other deadly stuff,”

She had his index and middle finger in a vice grip, but Tango wasn’t exactly focused enough to pry her fingers off of his.

“Alright. We’ll get it sorted. Just- stay here, okay?” Zed sighed, shrugging on his elytra. Impulse’s wings unfurled and with a single beat of them, he was up in the sky. Zed hesitated before he left, like he wanted to say something.

But he stayed silent and soared in the opposite direction.

Jimmy appeared behind him, placing both of his hands on Tango’s shoulders and shepherding him back to the wall. They both sat down silently, finally being (somewhat) alone. Neither of them were looking at each other; they were looking at the baby.

Both for different reasons. Jimmy had this look of wonder, his eyes sparkling with some untold mysticism. Tango, instead, looked at her like a puzzle to solve.

The how’s and the why’s always ensnared him like a rabbit trap. And this little girl had plenty of those. She seemed to be seconds away from crying, clearly the hunger was getting to her.

Tango sighed and glanced at Jimmy, “So… how’s Empires?”

“Oh it’s great! I just wish my sheriff stuff carried over, Y’know?” Jimmy smiled, leaning his head onto Tango’s shoulder. It wasn’t until then that Tango realized Jimmy was pressed against him to be closer to the baby.

In a way, Tango felt a bit guilty, after all, this wasn’t permanent. But with the way the avian looked at her, it was clear he was growing fond. Tango couldn’t exactly say he didn’t enjoy this in the slightest because that would be a lie. The weight was nice in his arms and she seemed to be warming up physically. But just because he somewhat enjoyed it, didn’t mean anything.

“Oh yea? I’d be thanking the stars I wasn’t as short,” Tango teased, finally wedging his free hand out of her grasp to jab Jimmy’s side.

The girl made a noise at that and Jimmy laughed, offering her his own finger while saying, “I was not that short, Tango,”

The little Hellion quickly complied and took a hold of Jimmy’s fingers earning a soft sigh from the man. Tango’s posture straightened a little, trying to not be in the way.

“Not that short, eh? My measuring tape would disagree,” the shorter man laughed, earning a chirp of feigned contempt from the other.

There was a beat of silence between all of them. The baby seemed happy with Jim’s hand in hers and Jimmy looked happy to just be there. Tango’s tail swished again, and her eyes followed its movement.

“How old do you think she is?” The canary asked, looking back up with his big brown eyes. Tango loved his eyes.

Tango blinked and cleared his throat, and changed his focus. She was small, and whether that was from malnourishment or simply because she was a young baby, he wasn’t sure. But she didn’t have teeth, so she was still pretty young. Because Hellions develop a little quicker than humans out of necessity, that meant she was younger than five months. Her ears were rounder, even with the tiny chip, so most likely around the three month mark.

“Mmm… I’d say three months,” Tango answered, feeling a small amount of weight being alleviated from his shoulder.

Tango’s head swiveled to the side. Jimmy’s eyes shined with a small amount of worry.

They mixed and swirled like coffee, flecked with cinnamon and chocolate. Deep and rich like wet soil for a flower to grow in. Tango, if he was ever allowed to, would drown in coffee everyday.

But even still, the coffee was getting cold and the soil was beginning to dry. Now wasn’t the time to lose himself.

“Three months? That’s pretty uh… small,” He whispered, leaning his full weight back onto the Hellion. Tango nodded, snaking his free hand onto the small of Jimmy’s back. It fit there so perfectly like the last piece of a puzzle.

“Yea, it is,” Tango mumbled, allowing his words to resonate in their minds for a little longer. The baby whined again, earning a sympathetic coo from the taller avian.

Tango wanted to drift, his mind was much too frazzled to be as present as they wanted him to be. They wanted him to be attentive and nurturing and all of these impossible things, and Tango was frustrated. He was frustrated at the people who went to the nether because they called for him when he wasn’t involved. He was mad at Impulse and Zed for acting like he was crazy because he didn’t want a baby. He was mad at Cub for assuming Tango was just ‘gonna take care of her’.

He was mad at X for yelling. Tango didn’t like yelling. Especially from men he respected. Especially when it sounded like his dad-

No.

Tango’s fire flickered again, and Jim took notice. Tango silently cursed the avian for being so damn observant. And his eyes flickered all over the Hellion before landing onto Tango’s icy blue ones.

“You good?” Was all he asked.

What Tango wanted to say was: NO! I just got landed with a Hellion baby for another month because everyone thinks I’ll be over the moon to take care of her. So what if we’re the same species? That’s not her fault, of course, but why do I have to take accountability? Am I supposed to do this alone? I’m scared to do this alone. I’m glad you’ll at least be here. But I’m really REALLY freaking the EFF out!

“Yea,” was all he said in response.

Jimmy nodded, looking off into the distance. The sky shined with infinite beauty, the kind Tango adored. He was full of love for this beautiful place, and the Hellion was filled with a sudden gratitude that she would be raised here in the over world. And, snaking in between his ribs was a small amount of envy. And then relief remembering she wouldn’t be burdened with him once she was in a nice, loving orphanage. He’d make sure it was a good one. And then, after that, a loving family of non-Hellions.

“I know you don’t like talking about it,” Jimmy began, shattering the empty air, “but know you can talk to me if you need to, okay?”

Tango looked into his eyes and fought to not drown again, and he slowly nodded.

“Yea,” Was what Tango said in reply.

Empty promises. He wouldn’t tell. And he felt guilty.

He wished he kept some promises better. He wish he kept that ladies’ promise better.

—

A loud growl erupted from his stomach. The bed of rocks he chose was really beginning to ache, but he couldn’t move. He was too weak and too hungry. He had made the mistake of traveling through a massive Soul Sand Desert because he believed it wasn’t that big. Turns out, it was huge. And Tango’s warped mushroom supply and jerky rations were not enough to last.

So now he’s here, on the outskirts of the same desert dying. Well, he wasn’t sure he was dying, but he thought that this was what dying felt like. And, for someone who fought for his life everyday with such ferocity, he thought being face to face with death would scare him more. But it didn’t.

He could feel the color of his fire shift. It only flickered for a moment, though. He’d never felt that before. It was gonna turn Orange, then red, and finally brown. This was it. Tango was going to die. How old was he again?

Oh, right, yes, 17. His birthday was last week. Or, at least, he thinks his birthday was last week. 17 is a pathetic age. Tango really could’ve done better, and if he was smarter, maybe he would. And, as the numbness subsided, this vile hate clawed in his heart and showed its ugly face in a sinking feeling of shame. Tango hated with something intangible.

He hated being a Hellion. He hated the nether. He hated and hated and hated and that hate would last until he died here on these very rocks.

These disgusting nether rocks that cut and bruise and catch you when you’re thrown off. When you reach up for help, no one’s there and the rocks will catch you. That’s what he hates. The empty nether, the desolate nether, and the nether full of evil souls like him.

Tango closed his eyes.

So damn it all, he was going to die, but he wished he did it on his terms.

…

“Ya alive, kid?” A raspy, old voice called, not too far away. Tango felt the dried tears on his eyelids when he cracked them open. He hadn’t realized he had cried.

“…I see your eyes. Ya look pretty damn pathetic for a a Hellion with yellow fire,” the voice laughed, a hearty sound, before the ground shook with the impact of a body.

There was an old Hellion lady with orange hair, her body toned and defined to high hell, and she had this grin on her face. Her teeth were clean and sharp, her clothes tough and high-quality, and her skin was riddled with scars.

Almost like him.

“You gonna kill me?” Tango rasped, his upper lip snarling, though he still lay pathetically on the floor.

“Hah! You wish. No, I’m here to help,” she answered rummaging through a satchel on her hip. Tango could almost laugh at the thought of ‘help’. She was probably reaching for a knife to slit his throat.

But when she manually opened his mouth to pop in a small warped mushroom, he almost didn’t believe it. But he chewed it almost too quickly, drinking up the water inside before spitting the skin out.

She stared at him for a bit before looking away. Tango was incredulous, and stared at her with his red eyes. She shifted, getting comfortable agaisnt a boulder before her eyes flickered their way back to Tango.

“What…?” Tango whispered, having high-quality looking jerky being placed in his open palms.

“It’s embarrassing that a person like me has it orange while a weak thing like you has it yellow. What happened to me?” She spoke, her chest rumbling. Her voice was power, all power, like she hadn’t whispered since she turned twenty.

Tango wanted to be her, old and still alive.

“I dunno,” he mumbled, gnawing on the soft meat. She sniffed and shrugged.

“Look, kid, I know it’s strange for a person like me helping out a shrimp like you. If I were the same woman I was three months ago, ya’d be a corpse, I can promise you that,” She spoke, her breaths getting just a little heavier. She was acting stronger than she was, Tango realized.

“So, why am I not a corpse?” The smaller Hellion asked, seeing her brows furrow.

“…because it’s not worth it to be cruel anymore,” she began, softly, “cause I’m dying, son,”

His heart squeezed, those all too familiar words made his soul ache. The woman saw his sorrow, and her hair flickered red for a moment when she coughed.

“I got sick, while at a big trading city near Hub’s nether portal. They never tell ya about certain illnesses. Nor do they tell ya that crooks in the other dimensions are so desperate to get their cash, they’re willing to break into these ancient cities and rob artifacts covered in disease,” the woman snarled, her scalp igniting into a greater pyre.

Tango could almost feel himself cower at the sight.

“I used to be on top of the world, kid. I was… I was a Warlord,” She whispered, her eyes looking heavy. The woman moved her body, sliding down the rock. She laid down, her arms propped behind her head.

“Who are you?” Tango pressed, feeling a strange sense of ease wash over him when she relaxed. She looked at him, then to the nether roof, then back to him.

“I won’t say,” she said loudly, bringing back her power before immediately dropping her tone back down, “ya don’t need to know. Besides, I don’t even know why I’m telling ya this,”

Tango knew by her choice of keeping silent meant she was one of the powerful Warlords. There were only so many of them, so maybe she was in the tippity top of society. Looking at her strangely soft eyes gave Tango the impression she didn’t want to scare him away.

She paused again before running her fingers through her hair, “I guess I just want to get it out there in the world before I go,”

Her fiery hair fizzled into shimmering locks of orange curls.

“Why did you change? Why bother?” Tango asked, feeling her eyes linger on him for a little longer before she closed hers.

“Because I’ve committed sins no creature should commit. I guess I wanted to make up for it, but there are some things that can’t be forgiven. Y’know, your entire life ya think power gives you freedom, but it just traps you in a different cage. We’re still boxed in, kid, underneath the same nether roof. No matter how far ya travel,” she paused to open her eyes again, “and trust me, I’ve been traveling for two months, you will never get out. I am just as stuck as I was over near Hub.”

“I’m just as stuck as I was when I was a young girl,” she mumbled, scratching her face. Her claws were razor sharp. She seemed to be so strong, so why did she look like Tango could bump into her and she’d die?

“Being a Hellion means you’re stuck,” Tango replied, feeling her huff a laugh before she began coughing. They were ugly coughs, the ones that shook your whole body and left you weaker than you were before.

“Yea. Y’know, I always wondered what would happen if I chose to become something else. For a long time, I told myself that if I ever became a mom, I would do it different. My momma was a bitch and my poppa was just cruel. I waited for the day that they’d eventually throw me out. I wondered… could I be different than them?” The woman pondered, allowing her words to float in the empty space they resided in.

“MY mom was different. But my dad-“ the woman cut Tango off,

“I know what your dad did. My dad did it too. And so did everyone’s. That’s why Hellions are so evil, I think. So I wonder, if ya threw one of our young into a nether portal, would they be different? Would the over world treat them better?” She thundered, allowing her loud voice to scare off any living souls around, if there were any.

“Are you sure it’s not just us? Maybe we’re born this way,” Tango asked, not knowing why he was even bothering chatting to this lady, “How great even is the over world?”

“It’s amazing. I wish I could’ve gone. It’s just hard to, because they don’t want us. If anyone ever let me through a portal, I’d be forever grateful,” the woman sighed, turning over on her side to face Tango.

“Why?”

“Because there is this green stuff called grass that covers everything. And there is stuff called soil that turns all rotting things into flowers. Have ya ever seen a flower before? They’re beautiful,” she described, almost like a child. Tango wondered if somehow, even after all she’s done, she was still a little girl deep down.

“That’s not real,” Tango muttered, rolling his eyes, feeling her eyes get a little annoyed. She sucked her teeth before shaking her head.

from this angle, all of her wrinkles and scars looked like smooth skin. And her blood red eyes, ones that had seen so much, almost sparkled with wonder. With infinite, unending wonder.

“No, it is! There is something called a Sky, it’s like the horizon of the nether but forever up. And it’s blue. Have ya ever heard of something so beautiful? I heard, when something called the Sun sets, the Sky turns into brilliant colors. I wish I got the chance to see it,” She said, making a clear effort to try to make her voice sound louder. But she was growing much weaker.

“Sky…” Tango uttered, turning himself on his side to look at her. Her eyes looked wet, and she no longer seemed to be the mountain of power she was a couple minutes ago. She really was dying.

“I want ya to take the first opportunity out, kid. I want ya to take it and never look back. I want ya to forget this evil, wretched place, and I want ya to be happy. Don’t talk about it. Don’t think about it. Let yourself have peace. Please, son, forget. Forget,” the woman pleaded, her breathing getting rapid and shallow, her eyes drooping. She was fighting to stay conscious.

“Could I really forget?” He asked, his face twisting in agony.

“Maybe,” she said, whispering, before coughing to add something else, “Take whatever ya need from my body to survive, okay? And, if it’s not too much to ask, take something of mine to remember me. If ya ever make it to the over world, bury it, son. I’m a cruel thing, but I hope I’ve done enough in this short time to deserve a better place to rest forever.”

“Okay, I promise,” Tango swore, watching as her eyes finally closed.

“Good… Now let me rest, son, I’m tired,” the woman mumbled, letting her body go slack, and letting her fire begin to wane into something burgundy.

Tango allowed himself to sleep too, even though the food had helped him, he was still very tired. The lava and fire danced on nearby cliffs and the souls from the desert sang them both to sleep. And, for what must’ve been a long time for them both, they weren’t really alone anymore. Because they had at least one person who understood.

And that night, Tango dreamt of forever up Sky that was blue and green grass and flower-full soil. Whatever the hell flowers were.

The next time he woke, she did not. Her hair was brown and her chest did not move. She almost looked peaceful and Tango could see a vague smile on her lips. Tango did what he promised and took what he needed from her body.

While taking, he saw what had killed her. It was this deep green infection that spread on her skin and had covered almost most of her body. Besides her face. That infection, Tango would later learn was skulk, had got there from the people in the over world? Why would they willingly bring this here?

He left soon after paying some form of respects. Tango didn’t really know how to do that.

And, when he DID make it to the over world, he buried something he remembered her by. It was a small Hellion Idol to an ancient god his people stopped believing in years ago in their joyless land. But, she never did stop believing even in her wickedness, did she?

Somewhere in season 2 is some misplaced dirt and a stone. That’s where she was buried. That's when held up the other part of his promise. He chose to forget everything else.

—

Impulse came back first with the milk and planted the bucket in front of the two. He was panting and looked off into the distance for Zed. Looking back, Impulse gave a big exhale.

“I really tried to be quick,” The imp mumbled, tapping his foot absentmindedly.

“It’s fine, Impulse, she’s just a little upset she’s not gonna die,” Jimmy smiled, waving his hand in a soothing gesture.

While Tango was sure Jimmy was right, that didn’t change the fact that her hair was still red. She was weak, and Tango had a very subtle contempt for red hair.

“Jimmy‘s right, Impulse, just relax. She’ll be okay,” Tango soothed, offering a small smile of gratitude.

Impulse relaxed a bit and strode over to the wall to sit down on. He was still breathing heavy, clearly having flown incredibly quick. He was close, but not like Jimmy was close. His eyes were trained on the baby, who was getting increasingly fussy. And Tango felt this weird sense of importance when the only person the baby would look at was him.

“This is so much to take in,” Impulse mumbled, flicking his spiked tail from side to side. Tango nodded in response, only snapping his head up when a whoosh could be heard overhead.

Thank the stars, it was Zed. He landed on the ground with a thud and flicked his hand to summon a large bag from his inventory. Tango stood up and looked around, scanning for a place to put her. Quickly, he placed the baby in Jimmy’s arms and grabbed the bag.

Getting the cows milk, Tango took a few of the mushrooms and squeezed them in his hands, letting the water fall into the bucket. After crushing a few more, the hellion swished the bucket around to haphazardly mix it. Then, another dilemma. They don’t have bottles to feed her. It’s not like they could procure one out of the blue.

“Do you guys have like- a syringe? A pipette? Shit- a spoon? Anything?” Tango asked whirling his head around to meet the gazes of his friends.

Jimmy was hunched over tickling the baby, and she was giggling. Damn, that was cute. He was so preoccupied, the avian seemed to not even hear the calls from Tango.

Impulse frantically searched his inventory and Zed was looking in his pockets. After a few frustrated chuffs, Zed pulled out a spoon from his pocket. Tango was almost impressed.

“Here!” the sheep offered, beaming.

“Zedaph, where has that been?” Tango asked, his lips pulling back in a disgusted sneer.

“I also have some alcohol in my inventory for disinfectant! But it’s uh… is a travel spoon I keep in my pocket. Y’know just in case,” Zed explained, pulling out said alcohol and rubbing the small metal trinket.

“Well, I’m too grateful to judge, Zed, thank you,” the Hellion sighed, taking the heavy bucket and spoon and plopping down next to his boyfriend.

“Are you just gonna feed her with a spoon?” Impulse questioned, cocking his head to the side.

“I mean, do you have a better idea?” Tango asked, sitting the baby in his lap and supporting her head with one of his hands. He scooped some of the milk from the bucket and placed it near her lips. The moment she began drinking it, Tango felt himself let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Thank the Stars,” he mumbled, feeling his fire cool onto his head enough to turn back into his hair. The little girl was warm enough now, having been cradled by him for at least 30 minutes. Jimmy smiled at her as she ate and the other two men seemed to calm down too.

“I was worried for a second there, Tango,” Zedaph sighed, placing a hand on his chest.

“How did you even think to spoon feed her? I thought babies only drank from bottles,” Impulse asked, raising an eyebrow, leaning over to get a better look at the baby.

“I searched it up once,” Tango explained, and after a beat of silence he added, “I was just curious.”

“She’s so cute,” Jimmy whispered. Tango bit back a response like ‘well, don’t get attached’ because he wasn’t an asshole. He’d let Jimmy fawn over her, but Tango knew he’d keep himself in check. He wouldn’t let himself go. Because it wasn’t right. Not in the slightest. But Jimmy was at least a little right, she was very cute.

“Alright… so now we have her food sorted, what do we wanna do next?” Impulse queried, standing up to pop his back. Only his casual appearance crumbled the second the sound of heavy boots on concrete slammed into their ears.

“Well, you two are gonna leave them alone, okay? I really appreciate your help so far, but I need to talk to these guys alone,” Xisuma stated, holding up his hand and hiding his visor. Tango still couldn’t see his eyes.

Zedaph looked like he’d been stabbed, and Impulse looked vaguely rabid. Tango glared at the visor with a minor anger, but kept himself decently composed.

Zed immediately got his elytra and rockets, but Impulse stayed still for a moment, “Hang on, X, I don’t think it’s necessary we leave. I mean, I don’t see an issue with us helping out-“

“Impulse, Zed, I suggest you leave,” He paused to lift his visor and pinch his nose bridge, “I just don’t want to have this conversation right now,”

Zed quickly took to his rockets and Impulse muttered something along the lines of ‘I don’t see why it’s such a big deal’.

The admin stayed still for a moment, and his eyes flashed with something like guilt before turning back into those steely black ones.

“I know this is a lot. But I just-“ Xisuma paused again, his eyes twisting into much older ones, “I don’t know what else we’d do,”

‘I know what else we could do. Theres actually a lot of options’, Tango thought, restraining any and all hostile remarks towards the man.

Instead he just shrugged, and Jimmy looked vaguely threatened.

“We’ll take care of her, Xisuma. And when you get this sorted out…” Jim paused, his eyes shifting to Tango’s form.

Tango’s throat grew dry and his heart squeezed a little, “We’ll take her to Hub,”

Jimmy’s eyes grew a little sad and he nodded, “Yes, what he said,”

Xisuma bowed his head, flicking his visor back down and angling it so the light would block his eyes. Tango almost thought he looked like a little kid trying to pretend like he wasn’t lying.

The baby had finished a couple spoonfuls of milk at this point, and Tango’s mind fried a little more each second he tried to double task. He didn’t really know how much she needed, which he was sure wasn’t a great thing, but until they could find a better alternative to a spoon, it was the best he could do.

“Okay, that works. That’s smart, I’m glad. I’m just here to tell you two that you should probably abstain from building and redstoning too much. At least until you’ve got a solid co-parent system working, Y’know? ‘Cause I’ve seen the wiring for Decked Out 2, and that crap is precarious,” X said, his voice exhausted.

Tango bit back a growl in annoyance. Not only was he sacrificing his time and effort for this baby he didn’t ask for, he was also going to be sacrificing his progress on his coding? Screw that, honestly.

Of course, in his irritation, his body grew all hot and his head exploded into a steady flame. He just got his fire to calm down literally two seconds ago! And so much for being low-key about it. Xisuma grimaced and Jimmy pressed his lips into a thin line.

“Sorry-“ Tango grumbled, taking note at how the baby was beginning to lose interest in the homemade formula. Maybe she was getting full? Hopefully she was because Tango’s arms were getting a little tired.

“It’s fine, I didn’t expect you to be thrilled about that. It’s just not the best idea to… I don’t know… do what you do? I mean- you go into that cavern for sometimes days and that’s not really healthy-“ Xisuma was cut off.

“Look, X, I appreciate it, and I’ll listen to what you say, okay? I just don’t need you criticizing me,” Tango snapped, quickly standing up and materializing the bucket into his inventory. He held the baby firmly in his grasp as he put on his elytra.

Jimmy, who had previously been paralyzed with anxiety, shot up too, quickly following suit. He stammered for a moment before finally saying, “Is it safe to fly with her without like a… a carrier of sorts?”

“It’ll be fine, Jim, I just need to get to my base,” Tango replied, feeling his fire worsen. Xisuma’s eyes had this horrified look of guilt. And Tango didnt want to see it. He didn’t want to be here.

He just wanted to be alone with Jimmy and the baby. If Xisuma wanted him to take care of her so bad, he’d do it. No questions.

Jimmy opened up his golden wings and flapped them a couple time to get himself in the sky. He hovered there in the air for a moment before waving Xisuma off.

“We got this, Xisuma. We’ll take care of it, okay?” Jimmy began before offering a slight humorous smirk, “She’ll be big and strong by the time you see her next, alright? Me and Tango are gonna be great… uh… foster parents!”

Tango perked up at that. Foster parents. That sounds much better. He glanced in the admin’s general directions but not at him and nodded, and just as he was about to fly off with his rockets, the admin stopped him.

“Tango- wait-“ He exclaimed, reaching out his hand. Tango almost didn’t want to listen, and instead fly off and never look back. Could you blame him for being rash?

But the tone in Xisuma’s voice almost sounded like begging. And, even in his anger, he wouldn’t deny X this. Tango turned and was met with soft eyes that smiled. X had summoned some fabric from his inventory and approached the Hellion. Carefully tying it around his body, Xisuma didn’t need to tell Tango it was a makeshift carrier. And a little pang of guilt stirred in him with how ‘last minute’ everything was for her.

And, in this moment of quiet, it almost felt like Tango was fighting with a father figure he cared about more than anything. All these harsh rules and verbal jabs, almost felt like this weight on his shoulders. Tango felt abhorrent for doing this. Xisuma secured the small girl to Tango’s chest, and he cleared his throat.

“Look, Tango, about earlier-“ Xisuma began, but after a few moments of consideration, he shook his head, “Just keep her safe.”

Disappointment. Tango didn’t like being disappointed.

“Yea, I will, X. And uh… don’t overwork yourself,” Tango mumbled, a lot more genuinely than he intended.

And with a curt nod, Tango flew away, keeping one hand firmly on the baby and the other firing the rockets.

Tango felt a tension begin to form in the server. He didn’t like it one bit.

—

The rules for the lockdown were as followed: No leaving or entering the server, No importing any item from other servers or Hub, and limited communication with other severs beyond chat messages.

Everyone almost pleaded for an explanation, only getting an answer from Etho to meet him and Cub at a his base and he’d give a brief rundown.

It only took a couple of minutes for the server to get together to try and make stuff for the new addition. A crib, clothes, diapers, toys, and thankfully, bottles. Despite Tango or Jimmy remaining radio silent in chat, most of the hermits were ready making the new baby girl stuff to make her stay here more comfortable.

Tango guessed this was their attempt to make something good out of something that sucked.

By the time they got back to Tango’s base, Jimmy was already smiling ear to ear staring at his communicator at the nice messages that had begun to roll in a couple minutes after Etho and the others had left. Both men were unable to really look at them until now. The girl seemed comfortable enough to fall asleep against Tango’s chest, which gave him this flutter in his stomach.

“I wish the other emperors could be here. I think they would like her,” Jimmy whispered, fluffing his feathers to better cover himself in the cold environment.

By this point, Tango didn’t mind his hair being on fire, because he knew he was a source of very-needed heat to the baby. She still had red hair after all, and he didn’t want her to freeze.

“Yea…” Tango replied, too overstimulated to give any other response. Jimmy’s smile slowly wiped off of his face and a warm hand was placed on his shoulder.

“Love?” Jimmy questioned, slowly bringing back his smile.

Love. Stars, Jimmy was good at crumbling Tango’s defenses. The bastard knew what he was doing. And yet, Tango felt his body heat up and not from the fire on his scalp.

“I just,” Tango began, immediately breaking, “don’t know why X is being such a dick.”

The castle loomed over them, standing as a testament to Tango’s building skill and redstone abilities. It was sharp, cold, alone, and desolate. It wasn’t really a place to raise a kid, in Tango’s opinion. But, it would make do.

Opening the large doors, hearing their scream in protest, the two made their way into the large building. Jimmy stretched his wings, his skin erupting into goosebumps as the warm air hit his skin.

“I feel like Fwip’s probably acting like a butthole right now as well,” Jimmy spoke, taking the baby out of the makeshift carrier and holding her in his arms. Tango slipped off the carrier and elytra while following Jimmy closely.

“What? How? Fwip is such a nice guy, though,” Tango asked, watching the avian lull the half-awake baby back to sleep.

“Well, to be fair, both Fwip and Xisuma are pretty protective of their players. When their player’s safety is at risk… I don’t know. I feel like I’d be pretty upset too,” Jimmy explained bumping open the door to Tango’s ‘quarters’ with his hip.

Tango followed and closed the door behind them both. His room was comfortably large, with a big bed and connected master bathroom. Off to the side was a couch and television. This one area of his base had everything he needed to stay comfortable, and hopefully, would prove to be sufficient for his boyfriend and the baby. He watched the canary flop onto the couch and smile at him.

“I mean, it’s alright that you’re upset at X right now, though. I’m a little upset at him too with how he spoke to you,” Jimmy said, eyes lovingly caressing Tango all over, “but I feel like we should cut everyone a little slack. It’s pretty stressful right now, no?”

The Hellion smiled and huffed a small laugh, “When did you get so damn responsible?”

Walking over, Tango cupped the avians face and placed a tender kiss on his lips. A small grin split on both of their faces. The canary had this gorgeous red prickling on his skin, and it drove Tango crazy. Jimmy shifted the baby in his arms, effectively pulling away from the Hellions hands just to mess with him.

“Probably about 30 minutes ago,” Jim laughed, his eyes sparkling with enamored mischief. Tango flicked his tail back and forth, leaning over and planting his arms on the head of the couch, leaving Jimmy’s head right in the middle. Tango’s breath grew a little heavy and Jimmy placed a hand on his chest.

“Woah, now, calm yourself,” the avian chuckled, “Not in front of the baby.”

Tango leaned back up and off of the couch and crossed his arms, “Oh so I can’t love my boyfriend?”

“Don’t start, mister” Jimmy warned, giving Tango a teasing smile.

The baby whined a bit, interrupting them both. Jimmy’s smile turned more fond as he ran his fingers up and down her back. There was a moment of silence between all three of them before Jimmy glanced back up into Tango’s blue eyes.

“How similar are Hellions to Humans?” The avian asked, a devilish yet sweet smirk on his face, immediately making Tango still. Jimmy really didn’t understand the weight of the question that was asked.

Hellions weren’t similar to humans. Tango was, after years of assimilation, but Hellions as a whole were not. They couldn’t be more different. Humans were made of beautiful flesh and bone, and Hellions were built from fire and ash. They were cruel beasts who hurt and killed and were evil and-

No. Not right now.

Tango cleared his throat and popped his neck, “Yea- uh pretty uhm similar,”

Jimmy raised a confused eyebrow but didn’t lose his smile. The avian cocked his head to the side, “Okay, do you know what skin-to-skin contact is?”

Yea, Tango knew, he wasn’t stupid. He raised a confused eyebrow before clearing his throat, “Uh… yes? Why?”

“Maybe you should do that with her. Maybe it’s good? I don’t know, avians don’t do stuff like that, but I heard it’s super beneficial,” Jimmy shrugged, this loving, yet devious smile plastered on his face.

“Jim, that’s only meant for newborns. Shes nowhere near that age,” Tango groaned, running a hand through his fire, snuffing it out.

“Well, sure, but it’s good for babies, no? Regardless of age. I don’t know, maybe it’ll do her well,” The canary clarified, carefully taking the hem of the Hellions top.

Tango couldn’t hold back his smirk, “You just wanna see me without a shirt on,”

Jimmy’s face lit up into a blazing red and rolled his eyes to play it off. The avian’s hand just barely slid up the cloth of his top and it ran over a scar on Tango’s hip.

“Well, sure I do, but think of how it might benefit her,” the taller male offered, barely concealing his devious smirk.

“Alright, Love, I’ll take off my shirt and hold her, because you totally aren’t into this,” Tango laughed, easily slipping off his long sleeved shirt. Strangely, he didn’t remember it feeling so odd to have the outside air directly hit his skin, especially in the presence of someone else. It wasn’t until he saw Jimmy’s mildly surprised eyes and heard the other male suck in a breath when he remembered why.

He usually didn’t show his skin too much for multiple reasons. For one, he just liked wearing longer clothes because it kept the heat in and Tango preferred to stay toasty. Second, he was riddled with scars. Growing up in the nether naturally meant you were never to have youthful, smooth skin. He had chunks taken out of him, inch deep cuts and claw marks, burns from lava, and a couple of stab wounds. No one had really seen them because, well, scars had stories. And usually, people liked listening to stories. They would be curious and ask, unlike the folks in the nether who knew how you got every single one without saying a single word.

Jim’s intention originally was harmless. He wanted to see his boyfriend shirtless for the first time, and found a perfect way to be casual about it. Even though it was still a bit weird. But the canary’s eyes trailed over every detail the Hellion had to offer. And that sent chills up his spine.

Jimmy knew better than to ask. This was, after all, obviously personal to Tango, and didn’t want to scare the Hellion away.

Despite the shorter male not being ripped by any means, he was definitely toned. And without many words, the Hellion picked up the baby and brought her to his chest again.

Sitting down next to Jimmy, Tango watched as the little girl curled up on his body and flicked her own little snuffed out tail. This felt nice. And Tango was sure that this may have been a bad idea. Skin-to-skin from his knowledge was meant to bond child with parent, but he was too tired to care. And it felt too right to move.

And, even if in this moment, Tango would let himself indulge in the false dream of parenthood. The one he could never have in fear of what he might become. The fear that he wouldn’t turn into his mother but instead-

“She looks cozy with you,” Jimmy mumbled, breaking Tango out of his spiral before it could really progress. The Hellion glanced over at the other and smiled a little.

“Yeah, she definitely is knocked out. Has been for a while. Don’t blame her, though,” He whispered, pretending not to notice her rhythmic breaths with his heartbeat.

Jimmy didn’t respond, instead choosing to look at Tango’s face. His brown eyes, like swirling coffee, overflowed with an emotion that Tango couldn’t exactly place. He opened and closed his lips multiple times like he wanted to say something, but chose to stay silent for a little while longer.

“Do you really want to get rid of her when X and Fwip figure out the security issue?” Was what Jimmy whispered after a minute of complete silence.

Tango dreaded that question, especially now that they were alone. He didn’t want to be completely honest because that would require explanations he didn’t want to give. He’d have to relive things he’d rather die than relive. But equally, he didn’t want to lie to him. Jimmy didn’t deserve to be lied to. And even as half-truths hurt him to utter, he did anyway. Because it was too painful to be truthful, and that killed Tango more.

Because there was nothing Tango craved more than the idea of maybe one day having a family with this man. That was a future that could never be, with the Hellion being as flawed and imperfect as he was. It just wouldn’t work.

“I just don’t think I’d be a good dad,” He mumbled, moving his hand to feel her soft hair. He was careful not to nick her with his claws.

Jimmy’s eyes died a little but he kept a sympathetic smile on his face. Something told Tango that it wasn’t necessarily the baby leaving that hurt the avian. Something told Tango that the pain he’d been seeing all day was a little deeper than her.

“That’s okay,” Jimmy whispered, his voice sounding a little shaky, “besides, I’m sure she’ll be comfortable here. Isn’t that right, little-“

Jimmy paused, furrowing his brow.

“She doesn’t have a name,”

Tango huffed a little and shook his head, “We shouldn’t name her, because then we’ll get attached.”

Unfortunately for Tango, Jim didn’t like that answer because the Hellion soon earned a smack on the back of his head, “She’s not a dog, Tango, she’s a baby. Give her a gosh darn name!”

Tango nodded and apologized, “Yea, you’re right, sorry.”

He thought for a second, then a moment, then a minute, then for a god damn while. He just couldn’t think of any name, nothing suit her enough and nothing seemed to call out to him off the top of his head.

…

“Your name is older than our ancestors,”

Tango paused, allowing the fur on the back of his neck stand on end.

“Do you know why I chose it to be yours?”

He didn’t know why, really, even now. Names were meant to mean something more, but not the one he was given. He didn’t deserve it, not in a million years.

But she might be something greater than him. Far away, in a distant place and in a different family. Tango selfishly wished he could see the day she’d be great.

But she’d be named his way, this time. She’d be given a name that actually meant something here, in this dimension.

She’ll have a beautiful name that matched her beautiful face.

“Flicker is a cute name,” Tango whispered, watching her red hair shimmer like enchantments in this light. And he hoped his hair shimmered half as pretty as hers.

Jimmy’s eyes softened and he leaned onto Tango’s shoulder, “I agree,”

“Flicker is a very cute name.”

Chapter Text

Forever up Sky. It was a blue color he’d never seen before. Soft and milky blue. Beautiful, gentle blue.

Tango didn’t have legs; he was floating.

Grass billowed like lava waves, slow and uniform, and forever shifting.

Massive rocks miles away that touched the Sky and had this white stuff on the top.

Tango didn’t have a body; he was floating.

Wind on his skin, sharp and strong. The air smelled sweet, like Crimson Berries. No ash here, no burning lungs.

Tango had no arms; he was floating.

He’d been here before. A mustached man would be here soon to find him and bring him home.

“Darling?” A woman called.

Tango felt his blood go cold.

“Darling, where have you gone?” She pleaded.

He tried to call for her, but Tango had no voice; he was floating.

She cried and cried, and he tried to look for her. Everywhere was empty in this field, and there was no one in it. Not even him.

“Tango, your father will be here soon. Darling, where are you?” She called again.

Tango then had a body again; he was no longer floating. But it wasn’t his body, because he was small. His fingers were dull.

“Mama?” He called, feeling hot tears flow and mark trails on his face. His voice could easily be trampled by an angry huff in annoyance or a flick to the back of the head.

“TangoTek?” She called from behind him.

His head swiveled, the tall grass now up to his waist, and there she was.

Standing there, in the grass, was her. She was a tiny, meek thing. Skinny and gaunt. But she was so beautiful. Blowing like the grass was shimmering ruby hair. Straight as a pencil like his. And Tango felt his legs moving before he could fully process her visage.

Running, running, and almost reaching her before a firm hand planted itself on his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks even when he moved his legs. Even when his feet slammed into the ground and pushed against it with immense force, he remained completely still.

Tango didn’t have to turn to know who held his shoulder. He didn’t want to turn anyway.

“Look at me when I speak to you, son,” a deep, rumbling voice shattered the air.

This peaceful place, the grasses and sky and big rocks, wasn’t a world for new beginnings with him here. Tango would never be at peace for as long as he held his small shoulder.

“Look at your father,” the voice demanded.

But Tango wouldn’t listen to him anymore.

—

Tango sharply inhaled, shooting up from his bed. He was panting, and his face was wet from sweat and tears. He licked his dry lips, tasting the salt. The bed shifted and Tango’s eyes frantically darted to where the motion was.

Jimmy stared back at him, he had turned around. The rising sun peaked through the curtains and framed his outline perfectly. His bed head and messy feathers caught the stray light the most. He had these bags under his eyes, but also this alertness to his gaze. Tango then glanced down at Flicker barely visible in his arms.

The shadows of the room were her blanket and Jimmy’s back provided a nice wall. But even from here, her little feet had different cloth over them. Before, she was pretty bare, besides the customary, raggedy cloth diaper most Hellion children possessed, but now it was almost like she had pink socks on. When did she get those? But relief flooded his thoughts as he let out a soft sigh.

They were safe.

“Tango? Are you okay?” The avian asked, shuffling around to fully face him. Tango cleared his throat and wiped away the tears a little too quickly before responding.

“Yea, I’m okay,” the Hellion mumbled, clasping his hands together to prevent them from shaking. He stretched his back, his own exhaustion creeping it’s way through his bones as the adrenaline wore off.

“Love, you uh… burned the pillow a bit with your hair,” Jimmy grimaced, pointing to the now slightly singed case. Tango frowned and twisted his waist to grab the pillow behind him. It was, indeed, toasty.

“Aw, no!” Tango grumbled, pouting a bit before tossing it back behind him, “it’s only a little burnt. I can deal with it,”

“Tango, you should go back to sleep,” Jimmy urged, smiling and pushing Tango’s chest back down.

Tango shook his head, “No- you still need to sleep, baby, let me take Flicker, and get some more rest.”

“Tango, seriously, it’s 6 in the morning, you’ve only had three hours of sleep. I’ve had five,” Jimmy chided, pushing him harder, “You need to go back to bed.”

“Okay, no, I won’t go back to bed, because I feel fine. I’m well rested, I promise!” The Hellion exclaimed, feeling a smile spread across his face when Jim rolled his eyes.

“Alright, whatever, you can be tired all you want, but don’t get all grumpy on me, okay?” Jimmy spoke, rolling his neck to pop it.

“I won’t, Jim, I just don’t want you to take care of her alone,” Tango spoke, rubbing his chest. He then got this itchy feeling on his skin when he remembered he didn’t have a shirt on. He’d kept it off per Jimmy’s request last night, as he had no issue showing himself off to his boyfriend, but afterwards kept it off because he’d forgotten to put it back on.

And with no eyes on his body, not even his own, there was nothing bothering him too much. But now, tired and hungry, he felt like eyes were all over his skin, staring at his scars. Asking questions like, ‘where did they come from?’

Jim shrugged, scooting a little closer to the shorter male to drape a golden wing over the other’s back. Tango took notice at just how displaced and messy the feathers looked. There were broken ones, old ones, and dirty ones. But even still, Tango leaned into the touch and went limp against his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Now Tango had a better view of Flicker. She had this cute little pink onesie on. It had no special patterns, no stripes or pictures, it was just pink. Tango wondered who had come while he was sleeping to drop this off.

“Cleo,” Jimmy spoke, answering the Hellion’s question without him ever saying it aloud, “She came by right after you fell asleep at like- 4am. She said it wasn’t perfect, but she wanted to make sure Flick had at least one outfit.”

Tango nodded before huffing a small laugh, “Flick?”

“Well, yes, we had a very long and thoughtful chat when you went to slumber land. She told me, and I quote, ‘Mr. Solidarity, I would like the nickname Flick because it is cute’. And who are you to deny her?” Jimmy laughed, leaning his head on Tango’s

“Ah, I see. My bad. ‘Flick’ looks very nice in her new onesie,” the Hellion whispered, earning a little whine from said baby.

“She told me that she agrees with you,” Jimmy smirked, pressing a kiss onto Tango’s forehead.

—
Last night was one of little sleep, after all, they had no crib, and it wasn’t safe to sleep with a baby in the same bed. So, Jimmy and Tango had to be her crib. That meant, staying awake, because falling asleep with a baby was also dangerous. They’d promised each other that it would be a system of shifts. Tango took the first one, taking care of her while Jimmy slept.

No one had come by with treats in the late night. Most had gone to sleep, but a few kept working on the more essential stuff. Tango had gone well over his shift time, allowing Jimmy to sleep a full 5 hours before Flicker had woken him up.

To say Jimmy was mad that Tango sacrificed his sleep for the avian, was a bit of an understatement. To say Tango was forced to go to bed was, again, an understatement. And, according to Jimmy, Tango was being ‘too freaking stubborn’.

Jim told him all about the people who had come by. First, it was Cleo with the outfit and soon after, Impulse came by with a couple of diapers. Jimmy said some others dropped by, but he was honestly too tired to recollect the conversations. The avian happily added on that Joe should be coming by soon with the crib, so last night wouldn’t happen again.

Tango had taken the baby into his arms to give the avian some semblance of a break. Jimmy continued to rattle on and on about the last three hours before slowing down a bit.

“And then me and Flick watched TV for a bit before she got fussy again, and I assumed she didn’t want a big ‘ol bright screen in her face,” Jimmy recounted, eyes trained on the small being in his arms. Tango wasn’t any better, as he couldn’t find it in his soul to look away either.

“Well, I’m glad you guys had fun…” Tango trailed off to yawn, and Jimmy followed shortly after. For a brief moment, there was complete silence.

“So we’re both in agreement that last night was horrible, right?” Jimmy asked, not bothering to look Tango in the eyes.

“Oh, yea, definitely,” The Hellion sighed, wishing he could just collapse back onto his pillow. And he would, if he weren’t so damn responsible.

How did his mother do it? Genuinely? Like- he wasn’t a pain in the ass, of course, but even then he couldn’t understand why parents did it. Is it a blood connection thing? Is it merely the fact that the baby is yours? What is it? Obviously, any paternal instinct in him was practically voiceless, like, have you met Tango’s father?

And with that thought, clearly remnants of his dream last night, he stopped his mind there. He knew what happened if he fell too deep. And he didn’t want to fall at all.

He cleared his throat and stretched his back, “I really don’t know how… parents do it.”

Jimmy shook his head, taking his now free hands and allowing them to trail all over Tango’s chest and abdomen. The Hellion pretended not to care or notice. Every time his gentle fingers grazed over a scar, they’d pay extra time to trace its shape and form on his skin. They danced beautiful patterns on the rough flesh. They took even longer to outline Tango’s stab wounds.

“I don’t either, but I guess we’re gonna learn, huh?” Jimmy huffed, his feathers puffing up a little when he tucked himself closer to the Hellion’s form.

“I guess so…” Tango mumbled, tracing patterns on Flicker’s belly, imitating the patterns being traced on his skin.

She flicked her snuffed out tail, catching Tango’s attention. That is an issue, Tango thought. Then, almost like the morning sun, a realization dawned on him.

An issue I can fix, Tango amended, feeling a small smile creep on his lips as he straightened his back up, earning the attention of his boyfriend. Tango liked fixing things. He loved being able to repair broken machines. And his brain sighed in relief that it could relax and just brainstorm. No emotional needs or wants. Just thinking.

“We’re gonna light her tail up today,” Tango spoke, his voice a little louder than intended. It earned a soft whine from Flick.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, “Why? Is there a reason?”

The avian’s eyes widened a bit before quickly adding on, “Will it hurt her if she doesn’t have a fire-tail?”

Kinda-
Not necessarily ‘hurt’ her, but, there were two reasons why her tail should be some kind of priority. One was Flicker’s overall emotional well-being. A fire-less tail was an indicator that she was… really not happy. The second was the fact that her hair and her tail looked too familiar. If he was so inclined, he’d say she looked a lot like his mom-

NO.

“No, not necessarily,” The Hellion hastily soothed, “it’s just… the tail of a Hellion vaguely relates to happiness. Like, it’s kind of a mental thing, but also not really. Because, my tail has been perfectly fine, and I’ve been stressed out to high hell.”

“I see… so, how do we do it?” Jimmy asked, taking Flicker from Tango’s arms and holding her to his chest as he stood up from bed.

The Hellion paused to think before sighing, “I have no idea.”

—-//—-///—-//—-

Hellion Biology Lesson 20: Tail Flames

One of the most recognizable features of a Hellion is the fire on the tips of their tail. Usually, these flames reflect the fire on their head. These flames equally reflect their mental state, as stated in Lesson 1,

“A Hellions tail is usually donned with said fire most days, unless the Hellion is experiencing trauma, neglect, or other types of high stress. This fire usually only strengthens under greater emotion, like anger. Regardless, if you come across a Hellion, its tail will likely have a small tuft of flame on the very end,”

To clarify, the tail works similar to the hair without an off switch. While the tail doesn’t exactly reflect the physical health like the hair does, the flames do extinguish once the Hellion has passed.

It’s still quite unknown how exactly a Hellion’s emotions affect their tail. Unlike their hair, which has been very heavily studied, the tail’s association with fire has been connected with magic. This, however, is not the case as Hellion’s are not magical by nature.

It is theorized that hormones similar to the ones that ignite the hair can ignite/strengthen the flame on the tail. This, by proxy, gives the tail a certain level of control. It may be possible, as tails will strengthen in the presence of intense feelings like anger, to reignite a tail on command by encouraging an intense amount of happiness or joy. This is just a theory, of course, and hasn’t been proven to be true.

Usually, this phenomenon of relighting a tail comes with time and effort.

Unfortunately, this level of happiness is not commonly found in Hellions. So, this must be conducted in Hellions that have ‘surfaced’ from the nether.

—-//—-///—-//—-

“She stinks,” Jimmy mumbled, placing her on the countertop of the bathroom. They, unfortunately, didn’t have a changing table either. So, the best and most sterile place to change her was there on the counter.

His bathroom wasn’t large, but it definitely wasn’t small. The tiles were a porcelain white like most bathrooms, and the walls a nice baby blue. Tango was really trying to get into the color blue lately, hence his choice to give himself blue fire. Everything almost looked like a doctor’s office because of how little Tango used this restroom. He just used the other ones in his castle and only ever showered in here.

“Oh yea,” Tango huffed out a laugh, going over to the sink and turning on the water, “I don’t know if you changed her while I was asleep, but heads up, she hates it.”

Tango wasn’t lying; she pitched an absolute fit when he tried to change her at 1 am in the morning. Thankfully, Tango is resourceful, and easily calmed her down before her cries could wake Jimmy up.

Tango quickly felt the water of the sink. Too cold. As he expected, of course. They really needed to wash off the ash and dirt buildup on her poor little body.

Not only was her diaper soiled, so was she in her entirety. They hadn’t really thought of bathing her until late last night, because they were too busy with other things. When they remembered they felt like real pieces of shit.

Now, finally having some sleep in their system, they could give Flicker her first ever bath.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” the avian smirked, unbuttoning the onesie and allowing the air to flow freely against her skin. Like clockwork, Flicker did not agree with the cold air against her skin and began to wail.

Jimmy’s face was almost priceless if Tango ignored the screaming baby. His eyes twisted into this guilty confusion, and he frantically tried to soothe her with words and gentle remarks. That didn’t work. Obviously.

“I don’t know what to do! Why won’t she stop crying?” Jimmy pleaded, his eyes wide and a bit frantic.

See, Tango was less worried, because he had a trick up his sleeve. He reached his hand around to the back of her neck and gently pinched it. Flick’s face almost instantly morphed into a calm one, despite her still making audible crying sounds.

“Wha-?” Jimmy cut himself off, leaving Tango holding back a couple of laughs.

“We have scruffs kinda like dogs, but we don’t actually pick our kids up that way anymore. But the uh… the nerves are still there,” Tango smiled, finishing up the job of changing her swiftly before fully taking off her onesie. The hellion then canned the dirty diaper and offered Jim the baby.

“Wow… I didn’t know that,” Jimmy mumbled, picking Flicker back up into his arms. Tango shrugged, testing the water with his hands before determining that it was warm enough.

“Most people don’t. So don’t feel bad,” Tango reassured, placing his dry hand on the small of Jimmy’s back. The avian rolled his eyes playfully. Placing the baby into the water, Flicker’s eyes lit up in a sort of wonder.

She splashed in the water a bit, babbling softly at the feeling of liquid that didn’t burn. Jimmy had this face of genuine fondness all over his face.

Jim had her neck in a very delicate grasp, partly to keep her head stable and partly to keep her from crying. He grabbed a soft towelette from nearby to scrub off anything thay didn’t come off naturally.

The dirt, ash, and grime that was on her skin easily began to come off, making the water a tad bit cloudy. Tango grimaced, remembering his first shower. He remembered wanting to fight the faucet for spraying him in the face with water and he remembered feeling shame when he realized how dirty he was.

Was it his fault? Not really.

Unfortunately for Flicker, they didn’t have any baby-safe soap, so just water would have to do. Again, Tango’s gut twisted a little at how thrown together everything felt for her.

There was a warmth, however, swirling in his chest, at the sight of Jimmy being so tender. He was calming her down the traditional way, by the nape, and it triggered something in the Hellion. Flicker was clean now, being dried by a soft towel by this amazing person Tango called his lover. If he was just a little more distracted, a little more occupied, he would’ve started purring. And Tango hated purring, specifically from creatures like him. It was a gross sound coming from an even grosser entity, and Tango wouldn’t stand for that.

But he stopped himself, knowing he had a job to do. It was irresponsible to hate himself when he had a new life to care for.

Grabbing a clean diaper and her pink outfit Tango handed everything to Jimmy. The avian took to this parent role very naturally. Opening the door for the two, Tango trailed behind a Jim that couldn’t stop beaming.

“Gosh- she’s just so darn cute. Thanks for the tip, by the way, I’ll be using that on her from now on,” Jimmy rambled, leaving the safe confines of Tango’s ‘quarters’ and into the greater castle. Tango quickly grabbed a large oversized shirt, probably Jimmy’s, and slipped it on while stumbling behind.

“Where are you going?” Tango questioned, quickly following after him.

“The kitchen. I’m hungry,” Jimmy began before giving him an endeared glance, “and I’m sure you are too. When was the last time you ate?”

Their words echoed off of the cavernous walls. The architecture, loosely inspired by gothic architecture, snarled at them from their black stone pedestals. Sharp stalactite-like protrusions taunted them both. They said, ‘We could fall on you and end your sweet child there’. So it bothered Tango when Jimmy didn’t seem to mind how dangerous everything was. Sharp teeth, razor eyes, and tears from Angel statues, they all stared at Tango specifically.

They said, ‘Why did you build us again? Because you wanted to improve your building skills? This isn’t a safe place to have a baby in. One day in and you already failed. Y’know, maybe the nether was a good place for you. Maybe you deserved it.’

Tango’s palms grew sweaty, his body began to flush, and he knew he was gonna ignite sooner rather than later. The Hellions took in a sharp breath. Jimmy looked back again, his shoulder pushing the large door to the kitchen open. The avian raised an eyebrow.

“Since last morning,” Tango finally answered, earning an exasperated groan from the other.

“Okay well, you seriously need to eat, then,” Jim replied, taking inventory of the counters and pantries. There wasn’t much.

“Sorry, I haven’t stocked up in a bit,” Tango replied, feeling a creeping embarrassment crawl up his face.

For a guy who used to think about where his next meal came from every single second, he had a horrible habit of just not eating. Now that food was everywhere, he didn’t have to think about it.

“That’s alright. We have food for this little gem,” Jimmy smiled, kissing Flick’s cheek, “so we’re really only cooking for ourselves.”

The avian sat down at the large mahogany table and pulled out a few things from his inventory. First, the formula they had made yesterday. Second, a bottle.

“Ren came by with this last night while you were sleeping. Thank the Stars because I don’t want to have to feed her constantly with a spoon. That sucked,” Jimmy explained, preparing Flicker’s bottle for her.

Tango took that as his cue to begin cooking. It felt a little weird, having Jimmy take better care of Flick than he could. Internally, he grumbled at the fact that, clearly, other people could take care of her if they tried.

But a little part of him mourned a little. He knew that she didn’t need him. What little dreams he had of being a dad kinda fizzled then. And that hurt a little more than it did yesterday.

Tango fixed what he did the other morning. Eggs and bacon, and this time, he added toast. While frying the eggs, he got the sense that his boyfriend was staring at the back of his head. His fur on the back of his nape stood on end again.

“You gonna keep starin’ or what?” He asked, laughing when Jimmy chirped in surprise. Flicker whined a little at the loudness, and Jim cooed softly to calm her down again.

Jimmy was such a good dad.

“How do you always know?!” The avian crowed, clearing his throat and keeping his voice down as to not startle Flick again, “You freak me out, you know,”

Tango shrugged, getting out another pan for the bacon, “Hellion’s intuition,”

“That’s bull crap! How come avians can’t have cool stuff like that?” Jimmy whined, though Tango could still hear his smile.

“Avians can fly, stupid, that’s sick as hell,” The Hellion easily replied, popping the bread into the toaster. The avian laughed and went quiet for a bit.

“Well, if I could control fire, no one would hear the end of it,” Jimmy spoke, his voice having this honey-like sweetness to it. Its sound turned Tango’s insides to goo.

“First off, I can’t control fire, it’s a common misconception,” The Hellion clarified, plating the very, very simple meal onto equally simple dishes, “Second, if I could fly without an elytra, no one would hear the end of it.”

Jimmy huffed in vague amusement before allowing the silence to overtake them both. Only hearing the sounds of Flicker eating.

This was… domestically dream-like. It’s what any one of his kind would fantasize about during the hot moments of rest and even hotter moments of endless walking. It was so empty there, never anything other than lava, fire, ash, and soul sand. Tango didn’t like soul sand all too much, as he didn’t like the sound of screaming spirits. Nor did many others.

Tango remembered thinking about a future with him cooking endless hoglin jerky for his wife and kids, but since then things have changed. Firstly, he would be cooking for a husband.

Second, he probably wouldn’t have kids. Even if he craved them. It wasn’t right to keep them when he was what he was.

His kind weren’t fathers, maybe mothers, but never fathers.

“What do you think we’re gonna do for when you have to get back to Decked Out?” Jimmy wondered, breaking the silence into pieces and forcing Tango to end those thoughts on a solemn note.

“I have no clue,” Tango mumbled, placing the dishes in front of them both. Jimmy’s eyes were contemplative as he thought, only snapping back to the present when Flicker was done with her bottle.

Jimmy picked her up and threw a napkin over his shoulder. He began to pat her back. Tango pressed his lips together into a line. He leaned forward, placing both elbows onto the table and ignoring his plate.

“What are you doing?” The Hellion asked, swishing his tail back and forth. Jimmy smiled softly and cleared his throat before replying.

“I’m burping her. That’s what you’re supposed to do, right?” Jimmy elaborated, looking a little concerned at the prospect of him doing something wrong, or at the wrong time.

Tango shook his head, “Yea, you are. I just don’t know how you do all of this stuff casually. Like… how is it just second nature for you?”

“It doesn’t come naturally. My mom used to work with kids a lot back at home so… I don’t know. I guess it’s just memory,” Jimmy answered, causing this angry jealousy to stir in Tango’s gut. This angry jealousy that the avian could remember his mother with such fondness, and not mournful disdain. Tango felt that angry jealousy with an equally wicked intensity.

Then shame at the jealousy.

Then regret at the shame.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him. He’d kept these memories, these feelings, these haunted pasts at bay for years. Sure he had his moments of weakness, but he’s generally never been happier. So why, why in Star’s name did this beautiful little thing stir such intense feelings in him.

Was it the fact that she was so innocent, so beautifully made, that she disproved everything he had thought Hellion’s could never be? Was it the fact that like him, she was just as unwanted? Was it the fact that he actually had an opportunity to become something more than his past?

Or was it the fact that he was a god damn coward?

Deep down, he knew what it was. He’s known for a very long time.

Tango has been running for years. Maybe, if he really wanted self pity, his entire life. After all, that’s the only way one can live in the nether. And of all the times he ran, he couldn’t pick out a single time he’d felt good about it.

The Hellion wished so desperately that he could remember his mother without pain. Without wanting to cry. Without wanting to crawl into a hole, a red rocky hole, and just cease to exist.

His hair flickered for a moment, before his eyes landed back to the baby. Flicker…

She deserved something more. Tango couldn’t control his emotions like his mother could.

She was a saint.

—

“Shhh… TangoTek, go back to sleep. I’m tired, darling,” She whispered, gently petting his hair, “your father should be back soon with food.”

Despite Tango hearing stories about Hellions being nomadic creatures, he had never experienced that life for himself. His family, his mom and dad, were stationary. They lived in a Crimson Forest next door to a Warped Forest.

The tiny house was built from mostly Crimson wood, though there was holes patched up with Warped wood. Inside was a very small kitchen, a tiny table, a large bed for mom and dad, and a smaller one off to the side for him. It was all one room, but that was okay. Tango was happy.

Mom always said they had to have a house because she got too tired too quickly to walk all the time. Dad told Tango it was his fault, but mom always said otherwise.

They had this small little hut nestled in two large boulders that sat on a steep cliffside. There was no lava underneath that cliff, thankfully enough, only more rocks and boulders. Mom always said they had the most perfect little place with the most perfect little Hellion.

Mom loved him lots.

And TangoTek loved his mom lots too.

Every single day, dad would go out to find water, food, and other things for them both. And he would come back to take care of mom after mom took care of Tango.

Dad never really took care of Tango, only mom.

But, even still, Tango was happy. This was happy. He loved dad anyway, because dad sometimes brought mom treats that she would give to him. Dad loved mom.

“Mama, I’m hungry. Can I have food?” He asked, feeling himself being pulled closer to his mother’s chest. Her heartbeat was fainter today. Maybe tomorrow it would be stronger.

She hummed a familiar melody. It was a song about war and famine in a soul desert across a lava valley. Mom always sang it to him when she wasn’t too tired. Tango pictured the lyrics in his head. The words danced in his mind.

…Upon a desert dune…

“No, I’m tired, Darling, I’m sorry. Maybe when your father gets home?” Mom offered, curling her snuffed out tail around Tango’s torso.

She curled around his small body, trapping in their heat. Her fingers worked their way through his hair. His fingers played with the growing claws on them. And Mom’s auburn hair flickered vaguely with a dull fire.

…lay the son of a saint…

Tango knew dad wouldn’t feed him. He’d only feed mom. Tango heard her purr softly, instantly making his mind numb into mush. Tango purred back, allowing his mother to hold him tighter.

“Mom, he won’t feed me…” He whispered, still feeling the hunger naw at him despite his immense comfort. His mom stilled for a moment, her hand stopped petting his hair.

…starved and tired of fighting…

Life was simple. All answers, questions, and reasonings were simple then. It was mostly him and her agaisnt the world, him and his mother. His father was there, though sometimes Tango wished he wasn’t.

Mom pulled Tango’s face from her chest, and forced him to look her in the eyes. Her expression was unreadable, something between hesitation, guilt, shame, and anger. Her thumb ran across his soft jawline, her purrs calming his small heart.

…an angel long forgotten…

“Your father will feed us. That’s what he goes out looking for. He scavenges, darling. For us,” His mom gently whispered.

‘For us’…

Tango was young, maybe five years old then, but he was aware enough to know one simple fact.

…kissed his head…

It was the fact that dictated his entire childhood, his entire livelihood then. It was the fact that controlled his life and set him up for a long tumble downwards.

It was something not even his mother could shield him from.

…and said…

His father loved his mother more than anything, and hated Tango twice as much.

…goodnight…

Because Tango…

His father, he…

The memory refused to resurface.

————-
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—
-

“Tango?” Jimmy asked, placing a hand on the Hellion’s. Tango blinked back some tears, his face flushing in embarrassment. He really needed to get a hold of himself.

“Yea- I’m okay, uh,” he spluttered, wiping away the streaks on his face, “just thinking… uhm… yea, that’s nice about you and your mom. I’m uh… I’m glad you’re here.”

They ate in silence, allowing themselves to be completely consumed by the sounds of the world outside. Jimmy had Flicker comfortably in his lap, and she just stared at him with those pretty red eyes. The birds chirped and wind whistled through the walls. Tango stared mainly at his plate, shoving down any remaining sorrow that resided. He knew what would come if he remembered.

When they finished, Tango quickly took their plates. He stood up, causing the chair behind him to creak loudly before walking over to the sink. The cool water sent cascading shivers down his body and he wanted to weep.

He scrubbed and scrubbed until he could pretend no longer that they weren’t clean. Tango inhaled and exhaled loudly before turning around with a lopsided grin.

“Now, let’s figure out a way to light this baby’s tail up!” He exclaimed, briskly pacing over to Jimmy and snatching Flick from his arms to spin her around. Jimmy laughed in shock at the sudden change in atmosphere.

She laughed too.

She laughed.

Tango’s very fake smile brightened into a real one at her genuine, sweet laugh. His eyes stopped stinging from desperate tears, and his heart calmed.

He held her close to his chest, offering his arm to Jim to hold on to. The avian looped his with Tango’s and the began walking back to Tango’s room.

The Hellion felt his hands splay on Flicker’s back as a protective shield from the rest of his base as they climbed up a set of stairs. Their footsteps echoed.

Jim jumped at the loud knocking sound, flapping his wings and squawking in bewilderment. Tango felt his body flush again, quickly taking in a deep breath to not ignite himself. Jimmy’s heart was pounding, Tango could hear it loud and clear, but it slowed when the avian took a deep breath.

“It’s probably Joe. He messaged me before you woke up that he should be by soon with the crib. If you want, you can take her upstairs and I’ll get the door?” Jim offered, sliding out his arm from Tango’s and placing his hand on the Hellion’s cheek.

Tango shook his head, “No, I can take her down and get the crib. You just relax in our room, okay? I’ll be up with Flick in a bit.”

Jimmy’s eyes widened a bit and his cheeks got a little red, “That was hot,”

“Jimmy! Ugh- just, go upstairs,” Tango stammered, feeling his cheeks pepper with bright pink blush.

Nodding, and smirking. the taller male moseyed up the stairwell and into Tango’s room. The Hellion watched the doors for a moment longer before making his way to the front door.

“This has been stressful, Flick,” Tango mumbled, not wanting to talk loud enough for anyone but her to hear, “but know it’s not your fault, okay? It’s never your fault.”

Tango walked a long, empty hall lined with large dark wood doors. Torches illuminated the hallway just enough to keep monsters at bay. The person at the front knocked again, but louder this time. Though, maybe it sounded louder because Tango was getting closer.

The Hellion sighed, sliding his hand up her back to pinch her nape. She went limp and looked up at him with those red eyes Tango found himself adoring. He had no reason to soothe her other than the fact that he wanted to.

“I can’t believe I’m talking to a baby,” Tango huffed, hearing her respond with a soft, subtle noise. A purr.

The sound almost made him stop dead in his tracks. One of his own began snaking up his throat and he fought to keep it down. Purrs were gross, because they sounded like animals. And Tango hated feeling like an animal, a beast.

But hers, it was… amazing to hear. It made his brain fuzzy like the sound used to do when he was younger, but kinda different. Instead of turning his mind into mush, it made his mind feel loopy in a way that made him want to sleep for a very long time with her in his arms. Tango loved it, and he couldn’t help but admit it to himself.

“Flick, stop being so damn…” Tango paused, finally being at a loss for words as he meandered the halls of his base with expertise, “…amazing.”

Flicker did not say a word, instead continuing to purr softly on his chest. Tango removed his hand from her nape, instead using it to support her back as he walked down another flight of stairs. These were the last flight before he was face to face with the large door.

He stared at it for a moment, like he was waiting for the door’s permission to open them. Or maybe he was simply stalling. Tango hesitantly pulled a lever to open the monstrosities and they screamed as their hinges opened.

On the other side of the doors was Joe, standing there with his hair tied up in a loose bun. He waved at the Hellion before his eyes landed on the baby. Tango slowly approached Joe, watching as the human offered Flicker a finger to grab onto.

She gladly took it.

“Isn’t she precious?” Joe whispered, his eyes shining with almost the same fondness Jimmy had. Almost, but not entirely. He squatted down to get a better look at her.

“Yea…” Tango mumbled back, watching as Joe’s eyes flickered back up to the Hellion a couple of times before clearing his throat and straightening his back.

“Sorry- It’s nice to see you, Tango,” The human greeted, never taking his finger away from Flick.

“It’s great to see you, too, Joe,” Tango replied, feeling a soft smile creep on his lips, “I hear you have a crib for us?”

“Ah- yes I do, I apologize,” Joe exclaimed, swishing his hand to summon a decently sized wooden crib from his inventory, “we really tried to make it as sturdy and as nice looking as we could in the short time we had.”

The crib was lovely, being this light-colored acacia looking wood. It seemed very sturdy, and decently ornate with the amount of time they had. On the headboard of the crib, at the top center, was a medium sized carving of a flower. Glancing back up at Joe for a moment, Tango noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Seemed they both had a rough night. The Hellion felt a little bad.

“It’s uh- sorry- I’m a little loopy, but we made the sheets and blanket pink because we didn’t know what else to do. We didn’t know if there was a common color for Hellion girls- not to say that all girls should have pink but like-“ Joe was swiftly cut off by Tango once his little ramble got out of control.

“It’s beautiful, Joe. I mean it. Besides, pink is much better than was Hellions actually get as babies,” He joked, shifting his weight to cradle Flicker in his arms.

“What do Hellions usually get?” The human asked, making Tango internally scream at his natural curiosity. He really couldn’t be too mad at the over world-dwelling species for never learning how to simply not ask questions. But even still, it wasn’t nice hear such a thing.

Because hellion babies are lucky if they get anything.

“It’s not important right now, what is important is the fact that this crib is beautiful. I really like the flower at the top. I’m sure Flicker will like it too,” He reassured, earning a glowing smile from the southern man.

“I’m so glad Flicker likes it. Do ya mind if I tell the other hermits her name? I’m sure they’d be happy to hear it,” Joe asked, carefully removing his finger from the babies grasp.

“Sure, go ahead, I don’t mind,” The Hellion replied, swishing his own hand to put the crib into his own inventory. He was about to say his goodbyes, ready to get back to Jimmy before Joe quickly added something else into their dying conversation.

“Hey, just letting you know,” He began, almost trailing off in a loss for words before collecting himself, “if you need anything, anything at all, just holler. Okay?”

Tango paused for a moment, just staring the long-haired man in the eyes. The lack of sleep was really starting to get to him when he found himself wanting to cry.

“I will, Joe. Thank you,” Tango commended, turning around and reaching for the lever. Pulling it, the doors began to slowly creak shut.

“Hey, Tango?” Joe called over the loudness as the outside world was being shut off.

“Yea?” Tango responded, looking back over his shoulder at the other man.

“We’re lucky to have a guy like you around, Y’know?”

The water works were beginning to make themselves known, and Tango was suddenly very grateful for the closing door.

“Thank you-“ Tango called, not bothering to continue when the doors shut completely closed. He stared at the imposing wooden forms, hot tears carving paths on his cheeks.

He was way too tired.

Tango turned again, making his was back up to his room.

Where Jimmy would be waiting.

—

“So was it Joe with the crib?” The avian asked, flopped down on the couch with his wings sprawled out in his own exhaustion. The TV was on, but the volume was low. Besides, Jimmy didn’t seem to be paying attention, rather making sure he didn’t pass out.

“Yea it was him,” Tango answered, striding over to the bed and placing down the crib right next to it. Jimmy perked up a little.

“Wow, that’s really nice,” He called, yawning right after. Tango yawned in response but louder. Flick laughed at the face he made and it made his face crack a smile.

It also gave him an idea.

“I know, right? Joe looked awful tired,” Tango responded, pacing over and planting himself on the carpet right in front of the TV and couch. He snatched a pillow right next to Jimmy and placed it down to rest Flick on.

Jim raised an eyebrow, “what are you doing?”

“I’m gonna make her laugh,” The Hellion answered, really only confusing the avian more. His eyes asked why when his lips didn’t move.

Tango played a couple of games with her, like making faces, peekaboo, and ultimately tickling. All of this to try and hack her little baby brain into igniting her tail again. But, alas, none of it was working.

Now, was Flicker laughing like a maniac?
Absolutely.

Did her laughs pull at Jimmy’s and Tango’s heartstrings?
Was that even a question?

But the purpose of this little charade wasn’t to make her laugh, it was to make sure she was happy enough to re-light her tail.

Finally, defeated, Tango resorted to a game his mom always played with him back when her tail was still ignited.

He would swish it around before moving it in front of her and booping some part of her face. Flicker was loving it, moving her own little tail back and forth, mimicking Tango’s general movements.

“Does your tail not burn her?” Jim asked, more curious than worried. He was still perched on the couch, hunched over to get a better view of their little games.

Now, despite the Hellion’s tail being a fire, it didn’t actually burn anything. It was a real flame, definitely not some illusion, it just wasn’t flammable. Tango didn’t really know why, exactly. It was just strange because their hair could definitely burn things, hence his pillow from this morning.

“Uh… no. I don’t know why but the fire on our tail doesn’t burn anything,” Tango explained, booping her cheek next. She giggled furiously waving her tiny arms in the air in delight. Jimmy made an audible coo at the sight.

“Well, I don’t mind as long as no one is hurt,” Jimmy replied, leaning back into the cushions and fluffing up his feathers as he got comfortable.

Tango swished his tail back and forth, almost like a snake, and quickly darted towards her face to tickle her nose. She laughed loudly before sucking in a breath like she was about to sneeze.

Flicker reeled back, holding her arms out like she was bracing herself. Her head snapped forward as she sneezed, and her tail ignited.

Tango sat up straighter than a board and Jimmy shot back up too. Flicker just went back to laughing like nothing had happened, leaving the two men speechless.

“Oh my Stars,” Jimmy uttered, his hand clapping over his mouth in disbelief.

“No way…” Tango mumbled before breaking out into a large, beaming grin, “No way!”

He picked Flicker up and held her up high, “Flicker, you did it! Oh my Stars! Look at you!”

She laughed and giggled, flicking her now flaming tail back and forth. Jimmy stood up from the couch and took Flick from Tango’s hands, holding her close and smiling from ear to ear.

“Holy crap! Flick! I’m so proud of you!” Jimmy cheered, his wings half of their full wingspan due to his raw excitement.

Tango’s heart stirred with something new. He thought back to this morning, just waking up to see the sunrise and feeling depleted. Wondering how on earth any mother, especially his own, would put themselves through a night like that for their baby.

Not that he didn’t want to care for Flick, but he wondered why any parent would care for a child outside of obligation.

But watching Flicker do something so simple, like sneezing, and then lighting her tail back up made Tango feel something new.

It was this weird pride in not only her, but himself.

It was like watching a plant grow enough to bear fruits and finally being able to eat them when they’re ripe.

And in Jimmy’s celebrations, celebrations that made it seem like Flick had climbed a mountain, Tango sat on the floor with this realization.

He got it.

He understood why parents… well… parent.

For this. Exactly this.

And it pained him to know that this may be the last time he feels that.

Chapter Text

Jimmy had spent the rest of the day giving Tango Baby Lessons 101. By the end of it, both of them were marginally better at taking care of Flicker. Granted, even with his previous experience, Jimmy was, unfortunately, still not an expert.

They would have to learn together. But that’s how life is most of the time, isn’t it?

Tango’s chest rose and fell in a long, continuous rhythm. Soft chirps could be heard outside and the sun was now just beginning to set. Through the canopies of curtains, the yellow-orange light danced patterns on the opposite wall from the blowing trees. Wind could be heard, softly whistling all around the citadel. It was much warmer in here, compared to the frigid outside.

Jimmy had his head nestled in the crook of Tango’s neck, staring at the TV. With one arm draped around the avian and the other firmly on the back of the baby, Tango finally felt his body truly relax for the first time in hours. Flick was equally calm, being that she was curled up into a ball on Tango’s chest. She was in this very deep sleep, clearly needing the rest like the other two men did.

“She seems to be comfortable,” Jimmy mumbled, shuffling closer to Tango’s body, if that was even possible. The avian’s leg hiked itself up and over top of Tango’s waist. The Hellion felt a peppering of tender kisses on his jawline.

“You seem comfortable too,” He responded, leaning his head back, almost trying to get away from the kisses, but unwittingly offering his neck. Jim, the devious person he was, placed a very small, yet very noticeable kiss on the Hellion’s neck.

In response, Tango sucked in a breath, “Jim-!”

“Sorry, sorry… but it was right there…” He pouted, sliding his hand up and down the Hellions chest. Tango felt his face flush and he rolled his eyes.

“Take me off guard again and I’m not letting you cuddle me anymore,” He threatened, allowing the hand draped over Jim to slip down the neckline of his shirt. Sprawling his other fingers, beside his index and ring finger, he traced the contours of the taller male’s upper back.

This all felt so painfully domestic, so achingly sweet, that Tango could hardly bear it. Jim had this dusting of pink all over his cheeks and his eyes were a little dazed. This smile of pure, unadulterated puppy love was plastered on both of their faces.

A small whine came from Flicker and Tango’s attention immediately followed the sound. His tail curled and uncurled almost like a cat. Flickers now open eyes followed it’s moment. Jimmy gently touched her face and he trilled. His thumb carefully rubbed the small spot on the middle of her forehead.

“I think that’s her favorite spot,” Jimmy whispered, his wing twitching slightly. Tango raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

“What are you talking about?” Tango asked, watching Jim place his hand on Flick’s back, interlocking his finger’s with the Hellion’s

“Your chest, I think it’s her favorite spot,” The avian whispered, “She’s yet to relax like that with me.”

“Bullshit,” Tango responded, not able to hide his beaming smile. This was nice, this kind of love was nice. Even after the horrible night they both experienced, Tango could confidently say he really liked this.

Now, did he understand that this situation, a baby of his own species sleeping on his chest, was temporary? He did. And he pretended that it didn’t sting. But, equally, he could think rationally and know that the bonding he felt with this child was partly due to Jimmy’s tenderness. The avian was only acting on his own instincts, and that sweetness simply bled over to Tango.

If the Hellion was delusional enough, he could tell himself that maybe, just maybe, he had unlocked some genuine parental instincts.

But it wasn’t wise to get his own hopes up.

“Not bull crap! She loves you,” Jimmy whispered, cupping the Hellions face with his free hand. Tango shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“She’s a baby, she doesn’t love me. She’s just glad I give her food,” Tango countered earning an offended scoff from the other.

“Tango! Flicker is not an animal! I ought to smack you for what you’ve been saying about her,” Jimmy tisked, attempting to pick up Flicker up and off of Tango’s chest. She, unfortunately, did not agree with that sentiment and resisted Jim’s grasp.

Jimmy made this ‘I told you so’ face, “See?”

“She just doesn’t wanna be picked up,” Tango spoke, leaving the avian looking exasperated.

“Pick her up right now,” Jimmy demanded, making Tango laugh out loud. Jim, however, was very serious. Tango shrugged and slid his hands underneath her arms and lifted her up.

Tango could almost not believe how calm she was. Her tail, now tuft with flame, hung limply as she stared at Tango with those big red eyes. Jimmy had this shit eating grin on his face.

She clicked at Tango, and Tango’s eyes widened. How did she learn to do that? Tango fought the very small urge to click back by squeezing his throat muscles shut.

“I told ya so-“

“Shut up,”

Jimmy cackled, fluffing up his wings. Tango took notice of the state of Jim’s wings again. They were worse than this morning. The Hellion lowered Flick back onto his chest and looked at all of the broken and out of place feathers. Tango grimaced, reaching to brush them. Jimmy shot up, a sort of blush overtaking his face and this soft chirp snaked its way out of his throat.

“You gotta warn a guy before you do that, you know,” Jimmy mumbled, flapping them a little almost in an attempt to shake Tango off.

“Do you need me to preen you, Jim?” Tango questioned, hearing a series slightly dissatisfied clicks.

“No, I don’t, I can preen myself,” Jimmy pouted, removing himself from Tango’s side. The avian turned away, crossing his arms. The Hellion immediately missed the heat and reached out to grab the taller man’s waist on instinct. Tango leaned back up, taking away the hand from Jimmy’s waist to use both of his hands to support the baby.

He knew Jim was sensitive about how his wings looked, so really it was Tango’s fault for saying it like that.

“No- Jim- I don’t mean that you look bad or anything! Well, I just want to make sure your wings aren’t too messed up!” Tango exclaimed, scooting up behind the other man and taking a hand from Flicker’s back and looping around Jimmy’s waist.

“Tango…” Jim whispered, tensing slightly at a small kiss on the nape of his neck. Tango was able to get Jimmy to face him again, and the Hellion placed Flick in his arms.

“Let me preen you, baby,” Tango whispered, feeling goosebumps form on the other man’s skin. Jimmy held Flicker close to his chest, and groaned loudly in frustration.

“Ugh, you peeve me a little sometimes. Fine, you can preen me. I would normally wait for Grian to be free, but I guess if you want to so bad,” Jim paused to accept a small peck on the lips, “then you can be my guest.”

Tango quickly got up, offering Jimmy a hand. Then, he placed a couple pillows and blankets down on the floor to situate themselves. Jimmy sprawled his beautiful golden wings. The Hellion felt a buzz of excitement. Nothing made his gut explode with butterflies like combing his claws through Jim’s feathers.

Nothing.

—

“Hey, uh, Jim? Are you alright?” The Hellion questioned, watching his soulmate bury himself in a bundle of blankets. The other man had been silent all morning, instead keeping his body hidden.

Jim had been the positive one this entire death game. Tango had a real tendency to be a buzzkill after awhile so it blew his mind that Jimmy had any interest in him. After all, the Hellion believed himself to be inept in any situation, especially building the Ranch, but to his surprise, Jim liked it. Jim liked him. And, unfortunately, Tango was sure it was nothing more than platonic.

But today, the shorter male’s heart twisted with a sense of foreign self hate. See, Tango was used to body dysmorphia, but this was different. He felt hate for his wings.

And, crazy fact, Hellions didn’t have wings.

Now at this point in the death game, everyone was made aware of one simple fact. Your soulmates heartbeat was your heartbeat too; whatever you feel, they feel and vice versa.

Jimmy was feeling self conscious of his wings, Tango deduced, when a swell of insecurity built in the back of his mind. He crossed his arms and knew Jim could feel his concern.

“Something with your wings?” Tango pressed, watching the avians face twist with frustration. He pulled the blanket over his mop of tangled, sandy-colored hair. He trilled.

“Ugh… don’t talk about my wings,” He mumbled, “They’re all messy right now and I was gonna ask Grian to do them, but I don’t wanna go all the way over there with everyone starin’ at them.”

“What? ‘Do’ your wings? Sorry- what does that mean?” Tango asked, carefully approaching the floor space in which his soulmate occupied.

“Like- preen them. Fix them. They look… ugly right now,” Jimmy mumbled, giving a very, admittedly cute, upset pout.

“Uh… if it bothers you that much, I can always preen them for you… I don’t really know how, but I can try,” Tango offered, sitting on the floor right in front of his friend.

The back of his brain fluttered with embarrassment, excitement, and hesitance. Jimmy looked down at the ground in contemplation. Sighing, the avian spun around on the floor and let the blankets that covered him fall down and into a pile.

His wings looked much messier than yesterday. Jimmy must have sensed the mild surprise from Tango because he gave an annoyed chitter.

“Sorry- I just didn’t realize… Jim, they’re not horrible,” Tango sighed, watching as Jimmy looked back at him with his beautifully brown and flustered eyes.

Guilty was what spurred in the back of Tango’s mind then.

Jim turned back around and sprawled his wings out onto the floor for Tango to begin. The Hellion didn’t exactly enjoy how silent the avian was being. Tango didn’t know what to do, truly, but, could it be that hard?

“Just don’t… don’t mess it up,” Jimmy mumbled, inhaling loudly before slowly exhaling.

Tango allowed his claws to slide in between the avian’s feathers, sitting there for a moment. His mind sparked with an electric feeling, knowing it came from their soul tie. Moving his hand down, Tango’s connection with Jimmy tingled with an intense feeling of satisfaction.

The back of Tango’s mind screamed clean.

Tango worked through all of his inner feathers, the ones he assumed Jimmy couldn’t reach. He took out the broken ones, corrected the crooked ones, and rubbed grime from the dirty ones.

It was almost therapeutic, for especially Jim, but weirdly Tango. It felt nice to serve like this, in a way that he was sure no one had done for Jimmy before. Obviously besides the people closest to the avian, like Grian, Joel, etc.

It almost felt like an honor to be trusted with the avian’s wing ‘hygiene’ in this way. It felt strange that he was trusted with such a privilege and so soon. Grian had told him once preening was as important to avians and fire to Hellions.

Tango was now getting to the smaller feathers closest to the avian’s back. Coming through the fluffier downy, Tango’s claws kept brushing against the skin. Of course, Tango was being cautious, he wasn’t stupid, because he knew how sharp his claws were. Especially now that he hadn’t had enough time to file them down to a much more dull point.

The Hellions knuckle had pressed into Jim’s skin, causing the avian to straighten his back and suck in a breath. Tango raised an eyebrow.

“Jimmy? Uh… I think I’m done, but are you okay? Did I do something?” The Hellion asked, leaning over to look at Jim’s face.

Jimmy had this dazed, flushed look. Tango cocked his head to the side, a smile softly cracking onto his face.

“Jim?”

The avian’s hands were shaking, his breath a little bit heavier than before. Jim’s torso twisted to look Tango in the eye with this cloudy gaze. Hands snaked their way to Tango’s waist. Electricity shot through the shorter male’s body.

“Jim- what-?” Tango whispered, feeling himself fall back onto his elbows. Jimmy’s eyes were clouded with something, not exactly lust, thankfully enough, but not exactly wholesome. Hands cupped the Hellion’s face as Jim straddled him. Tango’s heart was in his throat, and the back of his mind, his soul tie with Jimmy, was way too fuzzy. The Hellion couldn’t tap into any emotion the avian had because, well, there was no other thought other than…

Tango.

Jimmy was practically panting like he’d run a marathon now. His pupils were incredibly dilated, now tunneled in on the Hellion’s face. Jim stared directly into his bright red eyes. Tango’s hard work was being erased as the avians wings puffed up. A string of coos and chirps fell out of Jimmy’s mouth. What was up with Jim? What had Tango done?

“Jimmy… you’re not in your right mind,” The Hellion breathed, watching as his breath against the avians face made the other’s eyes swim with a certain need.

Seriously- what was happening?!

“Jimmy-“

A kiss.

Jimmy pressed their faces together in this desperate, needy kiss. Tango’s eyes didn’t close, instead, they stayed wide open in absolute shock. The Hellion had never kissed anyone before. A fire started in his heart as the back of his mind screamed TANGO. His own mind screamed confusion, despite his enjoyment of the kiss itself, but that confusion went unnoticed by the avian.

Tango couldn’t help his hands finding themselves on Jimmy’s hips.

Tango equally couldn’t help how his heart exploded as he leaned into the kiss. Jim bit Tango’s lower lip, asking for permission to deepen it. The Hellion did not reject it, of course, because how could he? He shut his eyes, letting himself be consumed fully by the man in front of him.

This was a horrible idea; Jimmy was obviously not mentally here right now. But Jim’s lips against his, his tongue making its rounds in his mouth, it drove Tango crazy. And that haze, originally just in Jimmy’s mind, bled into the Hellions every neuron.

His body flushed and his scalp ignited into a steady pyre, his gut turning into lava. The avian’s hands made their way to the hem of Tango’s shirt, sliding his hands underneath it. If Tango didn’t get a hold of himself-

Tango pushed against Jimmy’s chest, breaking the kiss. A small bridge of saliva connected them both and Jim had his features flood with confusion. The avian’s lips were pink and swollen.

Staring into those brown eyes, misty like pond water, Tango felt something claw its way through his throat. It was deeper, like a slow purr but mixed with a growl. He couldn’t stop it before he already made it. The noise was… so utterly specific. It dragged his mind back to the nether with such force.

A distant memory of being in his small bed, glancing at the same weird sounds and watching as his father loomed over his mother. He remembered that sound. He remembered his mother growling in a low warning that she was NOT interested. But did his father listen? No. He never did.

And Tango realized it too late before he could stop himself from chuffing. Another chuff, this one a little louder. He couldn’t stop hardly control himself in this mindset, and he didn’t like it. He’d swore he’d never do anything like that with anyone because he was terrified he’d lose control over himself. He never wanted to risk it after seeing those horrific things a thousand times.

The avian was too dazed to even notice or care, but Tango felt sick. He swore he’d never do anything like his father, and that noise was… horrible. He’d heard it from a million different male Hellions as the women would growl for them to go away. Animalistic. Carnage. Primal.

Disgusting. Tango was filthy for making that sound at someone like Jim.

Jimmy leaned back in for another kiss before getting blocked by the Hellion.

“Jim,” Tango began, his chest heaving for air, “I… I don‘t-“

“What? Do you not wanna kiss me?” Jimmy asked, dragging one of his hands down Tango’s chest.

“I- that’s not the point. You’re not acting right. Your mind is all messed up… I can’t… I can’t do anything with you in good conscience,” Tango spoke, sitting a little further up, “and I don’t just kiss people like this-“

“Was I at least your favorite kiss?” Jim asked, looping his arms around Tango’s neck. Jim’s lips ghosted over the Hellion’s ear, and goosebumps erupted all over his body.

“You were… my first kiss,” Tango answered, almost hypnotized by the avian’s visage.

That sentence alone almost broke the mist in Jimmy’s mind, allowing him to blink back into reality. Though, Tango had to note, the fog in the back of his mind was still very much so present.

“I was? Wha-…” Jimmy trailed off, a realization taking over his mind.

“I just kissed you,”

“Yea, uhm,” Tango concurred, feeling the weight of Jimmy alleviate off of him instantly.

“I just kissed you, Tango! I’m so, so sorry. Holy crap, what did I do?” The avian squawked in distaste. He stood up, his knees shaky and about to buckle.

“No, Jim, I’m sorry. I clearly did something-,” Tango was cut off

“I should’ve told you that you can’t touch my back because, well, I’m a bird. And it gets me super hormonal and weird, but I’ve never,” Jim paused to look Tango in the eye, “had the urge to kiss anyone before. Not like I just did, that- that was new.”

“I… I feel like I’ve touched your back before,” Tango mumbled, standing up to meet Jimmy’s gaze.

“Well, it’s where my feathers meet my skin. That’s where you have to avoid. Because I’m not fully bird, obviously, it’s not like my whole back is off limits. But I should’ve told you, I guess I thought you knew,” Jim mumbled, dragging his thumb across his own lips, grimacing when he felt how swollen they were.

“Stars, I kissed you hard,” the avian muttered.

“You kiss great,” Tango shrugged, quickly clearing his throat and amending his sentence, “I mean-“

“Tango, please, I already can’t think while you’re here,” Jimmy mumbled, striding over to a window to open it, “I kissed you… did I ask you? I can’t remember.”

“Well, no, but I-“

“Oh my Stars,” Jimmy groaned, covering his face, “I’m horrible.”

“No, Jimmy, I really did like it, I mean…”The Hellion tried to offer, but he paused, wondering if he should say what he wanted to.

“You don’t have to lie, Tango, It’s okay. We can set up a whole new house for you if you don’t wanna be next to me. I won’t blame you at all if you never want to see me again,” Jimmy rambled, running his fingers through his hair in panic.

The Hellion grabbed Jim’s arm, pulling him in to look him directly in the eyes. Both of them were sweaty and hot and just a little bothered.

“I liked the kiss, Jimmy. I think you are so fucking hot,” The Hellion said, not bothering to think of his words, “I know you didn’t ask, but trust me, if I had an issue with it, I wouldn’t have kissed back. Because I like you.”

“I… I like you too,” The avian mumbled, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed with something more than heated desire.

There was a very long pause between them, neither of the two being brave enough to say anything.

“…so what do we do about that?”

“Do we date?”

“Sure,”

—

The Hellion hadn’t realized how good he was at preening until he saw the final state of his boyfriend’s wings. He was a preening wiz, and he didn’t even touch the weird area on Jimmy’s back.

“Look at you! You could hardly tell that last night was a literal and figurative nightmare!” Tango joked, patting Jim’s shoulders.

At some point during the preening, and the vivid recollection of his first time preening ever, Jimmy had gone pretty quiet. Looking over his shoulder, Tango saw him dozed off, yet still holding Flicker with the upmost gingerness. Shaking him awake, Jimmy made a very loud, very abrupt chirp as he jumped.

Tango laughed, brushing the stubble on the avian’s face. Jimmy blushed but smiled in good nature. He yawned, standing up to look at his wings better.

“You did good,” He stated, ambling back over to place a kiss on Tango’s cheek. Jim already looked like he was returning to himself again. Messy feathers were his kryptonite most times. And messy feathers made him all moody.

Or broody.

Flicker made this little sound, almost like a trill, and Jimmy easily copied it. Flick laughed and made the sound again.

It puzzled Tango sometimes how Jim could simply be an avian and make those sounds without any issue. He never seemed to be embarrassed or troubled by his own vocalizations. Which, to Tango, was incredibly difficult to find in someone. Even his friends who were very comfortable and confident in their species still had a tendency to keep their more animalistic sides to themselves. But not Jimmy, no sir.

“How do you do that?” Tango asked, absentmindedly, returning to the couch and getting comfortable again.

Jimmy turned around and raised an eyebrow, “What? Take care of your baby?”

“No, not my baby,” Tango quickly corrected, “I mean how do you make those sounds.”

Jim’s face halted for a second, contorting his face with a look of disappointment before quickly switching back to a lighthearted expression.

Jimmy laughed, plopping back onto the couch, slotting himself nicely against the other man. Playing with the baby in his arms, Jimmy draped a wing over Tango’s back.

“With my mouth,” Jim said, grinning when Tango jabbed him. Jim laughed, causing Flicker to laugh along with him. Maybe she just liked copying Jim. And that thought squeezed Tango’s heart.

“That’s not what I meant,” Tango huffed, leaning into the other man’s side, “I mean, how do you make those sounds and not be embarrassed?”

Jimmy looked puzzled, vaguely offended, and almost amused. His eyes swam with the need to understand. And, like the morning sun, a realization dawned on him.

“Why? Can you make sounds that you’ve never shown me?” Jimmy asked, scooting forward and staring at Tango with this devious look.

Stars, Tango did NOT want to show Jimmy anything relating to his ‘sounds’. Tango was wondering because… because…

Well, Tango supposed that he was asking on his own behalf, but still. He didn’t wanna make those gross sounds in front of a man he had just gotten comfortable with.

It’s just that, his noises weren’t the same as an avians in his mind. Tango knew that Jimmy would smile and say that they were ‘cute’ but he wouldn’t mean it.

Growls were disgusting because they were primal warnings of attack. Like his fire, his growl was a symbol of his anger and violence. Hisses were disgusting because they stood as a vile hatred, anxiety, and warning. Purrs were disgusting because they existed as animalistic sounds and pathetic love.

Obviously except when Flicker purred; that was an amazing sound.

Chuffs were worse. They were sultry, adulterous, and nasty. Clicks were… fine. Those were more embarrassing than horrific, but even still, he wouldn’t show anyone anything for as long as he lived.

See, he only made those sounds when he had no control over himself. Tango didn’t like having no control over himself. In fact, he despised it.

“No,” Tango responded, earning a whine from Jimmy, and then Flick, who copied the avian.

“What do you mean no? I’ve heard Flick make all types of sound, but I always thought it was just baby Hellions that did that. You’re telling me otherwise by your cheeky smolder!” Jimmy poked and prodded, causing Tango to shove his face away.

“I don’t have any sounds that I’m gonna show you,” The Hellion amended.

“What?! No!” Jimmy whined again, making Flicker copy him, again, and follow it up by laughing.

“How about instead we focus of the fact that Flick is copying you?” Tango offered, only to be immediately shut down by the taller man.

“No, you’re gonna tell me all about the sounds you make,” Jim demanded, smirking deviously.

“I’m not,”

“Please?”

“No,”

“Ugh… you’re such a B-word,”

—-//—-///—-//—-

Hellion Biology Lesson 38: Hellion Vocalizations

A Hellion, like many non-human species, are capable of making a variety of vocalizations. Most of them are quite common to hear, while others are a little more complex.

Growling
Many mammals have within them a type of growl. While they may sound different, as a Hellion’s growl sounds more similar to larger feline species, all growls contain a very similar meaning. It is a sound used to deter any potential competition and to make oneself more intimidating. It may also serve as a warning if a Hellion is not currently in conflict. It is often heard once the Hellion’s brain produces large amounts of Catecholamines to stimulate their vocal cords, lungs, and diaphragm.

Hissing
Equally, hissing is also a very similar sound to the growl. Less of its actual tone, more of its meaning. A hiss is used more as a warning rather than that of true aggression, not as similar to the growl. Of course, these two vocalizations are the most common to hear a Hellion make. Though, it must be noted, it’s very uncommon to come across a Hellion that doesn’t exactly mind their natural sounds. It is a common belief that any ‘animalistic’ noises make them more uncivilized than they already are.

Purring
This vocalization is one of the rarer ones as many Hellions have to be happy to make this sound. While the growl and hiss can be somewhat controlled, this sound is very involuntary and it takes a lot of focus to prevent producing it. This vocalization is produced when high levels of serotonin are present, or when any amount of oxytocin is produced. Despite common belief, Hellions are scientifically proven to be quite cuddly creatures. Though, that fact is strange, because for as long as the over world has been associated with the nether, Hellions have been rather violent. (Noted: all early records of over world-nether interactions have been lost, destroyed, or purposefully held from the public eye)

Chuffing
Like tigers, chuffing is another form of purring, albeit more rare. This sound occurs in the presence of Dopamine and Endorphins. That is because the vocalization is most common during sexual encounters. While it can be produced outside of said situations, it’s quite rare. At the release of enough dopamine/endorphins, the larynx and voice box contract in a similar rhythmic pattern similar to the purr. Though, like stated before, much slower.

Clicking
This sound is the most unique and interesting. A click is a form of social greeting, though this vocalization is surprisingly rare. Since the development of language in the nether (approximately 300 years ago when the first nether portal was built in Hub at Spawn), this sound is less necessary than it once was. This behavior is mostly seen in denser populations of Hellions, like in the trading cities situated around the Hub nether portal. After all, most interactions between Hellions in these places are less likely to be violent.

It’s good to know these general vocalizations, and especially their contexts. Hellions are complex species with a surprisingly simple list of sounds able to be produced. This is in contrast to the avian which has evolved to have over 300+ unique sounds.

—-//—-///—-//—-

Another hour had passed, the sun had set maybe a couple minutes ago. The crickets sang their beautiful melodies and Flicker had her eyes, and ears, trained on the window. Tango rubbed her stomach, causing a soft purr to erupt from her body. Flick shook with contentment. Jimmy side eyed Tango, still salty from being denied the opportunity to hear the other man purr.

Again, like earlier, this was all so genuinely, so painfully, domestic. It was like the fates were taunting him with this future he could never have. Like jangling loud keys in front of his face. It was torturous. What was more tortuous, though?

Jimmy had been pretty conservative with his usual touches. Jim was good at dragging his hands all over the Hellion, fussing over every detail. This time around, he kept his hands to himself. Obviously a byproduct of his salt.

“Are you seriously going to mope about me not being a super vocal Hellion?” Tango questioned, earning a kinda lighthearted scoff.

“Stop making it sound like I’m whining about nothing. This is a thing of trust, Love,” The avian pouted, crossing his arms.

“It’s just,” The Hellion began, sliding the hand resting down the avians hem and brushing his fingers against Jim’s collar bone, “my sounds aren’t like your sounds. Your sounds are so cute and pretty and cool. And mine are kinda…”

“Kinda…?” The avian pressed, looking up into the Hellions blue eyes.

“Kinda gross,” Tango admitted, his face scrunching in distaste at his own words, his own admittance, and the face of contemplation he got in return from Jimmy.

“Gross? But… Flick is so cute when she purrs and stuff. Or does the click-y stuff,” Jimmy mumbled, watching her move around on the Hellion’s chest.

“I just… don’t want to, okay?” Tango sighed, watching Jimmy’s eyes turn a little guilty. That made the Hellion feel even more guilty.

“That’s fine. I don’t wanna… uh… push you or anything,” the avian whispered, leaning back into Tango, finally letting his hands travel all across the Hellion’s chest. Finally, physical touch.

“So, how can I make it up to you?” Tango asked, letting a slightly forced smile onto his face. Jimmy cocked his eyebrow to the side and huffed a sort of confused laugh.

“What? For not showing me your little noises?” Jim questioned, smiling further when Tango nodded.

“Take your shirt off,” The avian replied

“Are you serious? I did that last night!” Tango yelped, a new flush spreading on his cheeks.

Jimmy laughed and slid his hand under Tango’s shirt, “Yes I’m serious! I like looking! Plus, it’s the only way I’ll forgive you.”

“Stars, you show your boyfriend your bare chest once and now he wants to see it every chance he gets,” the Hellion chuckled, shaking his head.

“It’s what I want, baby, now get to strippin’!” The avian exclaimed.

“But- why? I’m not even that attractive, man,” the Hellion sighed, trying not to let it show on his face just how affected he was by Jimmy’s hands on his skin.

“Not attractive?! Are you serious? Have you ever looked in any kind of reflection ever?” Jim implored, almost sounding vaguely offended. The Hellion shook his head.

“Yes, I look in reflections. I don’t know, Jim, my scars are like- hella ugly,” Tango shrugged, flinching at Jimmy’s loud squawk.

“What is it with you and calling every single thing you are or do ugly?” Jim asked, obviously trying to have an air of humor, but not able to disguising his genuine question.

Tango didnt want to respond, instead, picking Flicker off of his chest and placing her in Jimmy’s arms. Tango slipped off the shirt he was sure was Jim’s. A subtle wave of goosebumps took over his skin in response to the colder air. Flicker whined and reached out for Tango again. Her little hands grabbed at his direction…

She really did like him.

Fuck.

“You need therapy,” Jimmy mumbled, giving Flick right back to the Hellion and smiling softly watching her curl up in his arms.

“Nah,” Tango shrugged allowing Jimmy to snuggle right back up to his side. Jim didn’t reply to his remark, instead staring at and touching his scars. He almost had this child-like curiosity about them. Maybe if the Hellion wasn’t so cagey, Jimmy would ask where they came from. Tango was glad he was as cagey as he was then.

Tango was still watching the TV, but now the channel had changed to a mind-numbingly stupid show. Something about guys and girls fucking off on an island. So the Hellion was only half paying attention. Rather, he was mainly focused on how his boyfriend was practically fawning over his body.

Tango had no clue why, not only because he could not see his own appeal, but also the fact that he wasn’t even ripped or anything. He’d get it if he was jacked like Scar was, but he was at best ‘toned’ in the way freshmen athletes in high school were toned.

But, for some ungodly reason, Jimmy was practically staring at every square inch of him all bright eyed and bushy tailed, dragging his hands and fingers so tenderly over the Hellion’s skin.

That was until Tango’s stomach growled.

Dammit.

“Are you hungry?” Jim asked, huffing a laugh, “‘cause I could feel that. Besides, I’m hungry too,”

“Oh yea,” Tango nodded, prompting Jim to stand up from the couch. Tango missed the warmth. Tango was about to follow, get up and walk to the kitchen with him, but Jimmy stopped him.

“How about I be the best boyfriend in the world and make you dinner and bring it up here? Catch is, you have to feed Flick her bottle,” The avian smirked, summoning a full bottle from his inventory. It was still ice cold.

“Uh… sure…” The Hellion smiled, taking the bottle and watching Jimmy saunter out of the room.

Tango looked back at the baby, she softly clicked at him. The Hellion glanced around really quick before making a soft clicking sound back. He didn’t like it, actually he hated making the noise, but the face Flicker made at him after he did it, this face of excitement and happiness, almost made it worth it.

Almost.

Tango warmed up the bottle in his grasp, his palms heating up with the triggering of his ‘fire abilites’. They weren’t really magical powers, actually, just weird biology.

Once the glass of the bottle heated enough, and by extension, the milk itself, he tested it before deeming it was warm enough for her. Lifting her head up a little with the crook of his elbow, Tango offered up the bottle to Flick who very happily took it.

She was so damn cute. Too damn cute.

This horrible guilt washed over Tango. He swallowed, feeling his throat close up a bit as he wanted to cry. She simply looked at him with those eyes, those red eyes that saw no evil in him. Eyes that saw Tango as a saint.

“I’m sorry,” Tango whispered, his voice almost wet. He brushed a thumb over her cheek as she ate. She didn’t stop looking at him like that.

“I’m a mess, aren’t I? I can’t even take care of one baby right. Why do you like me? If I were to trust someone, it would be Jim,” He rambled, allowing his lip to quiver when she made a small trilling sound. Just like the ones Jimmy would make at them. She was so incredible; he never knew Hellions could even make sounds like avians. And just look at her, mimicking everything she heard.

He sighed, collecting himself, “You’re so cute. How do you mimic him so effortlessly?”

She didn’t respond, obviously, simply going back to drinking. The Hellion softly sucked in a breath.

“Your life is gonna be hard. Even though you’re not in the nether anymore. I learned that pretty quick… Y’know, people don’t exactly treat you like people even if they pretend to. The hermits had gotten better at it, treating me like a normal guy, but sometimes they do things. They make comments about Hellion stuff, even when we’re almost the same as them,” Tango spoke, his words letting up into a small stream of thoughts.

He was slow to amend some loose strings, a lot slower than he usually is, “Though, you have to be grateful for them. The over world people in your life, I mean. They… are this beautiful thing. I’m glad you’ll only ever know that beauty; that endless love and hope. You have a chance here, like I did when I arrived. You won’t understand… what it’s like to never know about the options everyone else has.”

“Hellions are… rot by nature,”

“Not you, I don’t think, because you never had the chance to rot there. But I’m a bit of a lost cause, you know? I grew up in hell and my insides have been exposed to the cold air. You’re still whole, you know? I’m… rot. Rot can’t be much more than rot, can it? Sorry. I’ve never rambled like this, heh,” Tango huffed dryly, placing the now empty bottle on the small side table by the couch.

“A part of me could tell you that I’d keep you. That you could be… my daughter. But, that can’t happen. You’ll know why one day. I think I’ll know too by then. I’ll make sure Hub treats you nice,” Tango mumbled, softly caressing her cheek, staring at the spot in between her eyes.

“I swear,”

Tango looked at the windows, watching the sun finally leave the sky and the moon take its place. The stars finally began showing their pretty little faces. The pointy conifer trees created a dark silhouette to frame the moon’s calm face. Calm and solitude, listening to the crickets and windy snow. Tango knew, that even in the cold, the apple he threw out those couple days ago was still there.

Sitting in the snow and ice, was the half-rotted apple. Maybe by now it was mush. Apples rot so fast, don’t they?

“I hope no person ever tears your heart open like they did mine,” he paused, trying to hold back hot, boiling tears, “I don’t ever want to be that person, okay? I don’t want to risk it.”

Flicker didn’t respond. But she looked at him the exact same fucking way. With those sparkling red eyes of wonder, like Tango could do nothing wrong. When he absolutely could.

He absolutely could.

“But… with how today has been going. Maybe… maybe I could be more-“ Tango was cut off by the sound of a door busting open.

“Call me a chef because this stuff smells great!” Jimmy chirped, strutting into the room and placing down a coffee table from his inventory, “and someone came by and dropped off a little something-something for a certain baby girl.”

Jimmy then summoned a small little Jellie plush into his hands and waved it in front of Flicker’s face. She looked at it in confusion, her eyes contemplating whether she should love it or hate it. Placing it on Flick, Jim waited with eager anticipation for her reaction. She grabbed it with her hands, feeling how the softness of its fluff. While she didn’t exactly hug onto it like one would anticipate, she definitely claimed the Jellie as hers.

She wouldn’t let it go, to put it mildly.

Waving his hand, two bowls of very nice looking stew were materialized from Jim’s inventory. It was this warm, hardy looking meal that could feed Tango just by glancing at it. There was meat, Tango guessed beef, stewed in this thick brown broth. Along with it were tender potatoes chopped and peeled, and carrots, and some green beans and god dammit this looked amazing. Jimmy was looking at the Hellion with these hopeful eyes.

“Jim… this looks amazing. How did you-? With what I have in the kitchen?” He questioned, picking up a hot bowl and staring at it with amazement.

“I know, it was difficult because someone is hellbent on keeping his pantry barren. Do you even eat?” Jimmy scolded, picking up flicker from Tango’s arms and taking the crib from across the room into his inventory. Placing the crib next to the couch, Jimmy delicately placed Flicker inside.

“…well, I don’t usually eat more than the bare minimum, I’ll be honest. I feel so healthy eating this much,” Tango admitted, hearing a frustrated tsk from his love.

“I really ought to smack you for that. Do I have to move to Hermitcraft permanently to baby you because you refuse to do it for yourself?” Jim asked, sitting next to Tango and eagerly rewarding himself for the time he spent slaving in the kitchen.

“No! I mean- no. I appreciate the concern, but I’m okay. I just- I forget sometimes. Besides, you’re gonna get sick of this place soon enough,” Tango joked, picking up a spoon and putting the stew into his mouth.

Stars above it tasted divine.

“Yea, yea, whatever. Regardless of your self care, I just wanna make sure you like my blood, sweat, and tears,” Jim laughed looking a little more happy and a lot more relaxed now that they could eat.

“I do like it. It’s very good,” Tango responded, allowing the sound of silence to consume them both.

Flicker was pretty quiet, focusing on her Jellie by kinda tossing it around and babbling at it. After a few moments, Jimmy spoke up, clearing his throat.

“I was wondering… when we finally get a schedule, like Xisuma said, how do we wanna do this? Like, parent a baby while you still getting work done on Decked Out? Because… I don’t know what we’ll do,” Jim asked, playing around with his bowl for a moment.

“I don’t know, either. I suppose… well… if you don’t mind taking care of her while I’m gone…” Tango suggested, scooping in another mouthful. Jim shrugged, sighing a little before responding.

“I mean, sure, I don’t exactly see an issue with that. But, if any of us ever get tired of, well, you know. What are we gonna do? Ask the other Hermits for help?” The avian wondered, draping a wing over Tango again and leaning into his side.

Tango stilled. He didn’t want to ask for help. He remembered X’s words, his angry eyes and voice. The Hellion felt conflicted then, would he take the help or no? He was already enough of a disappointment to Xisuma, and even in his anger and frustration, Tango could still feel bad about making Xisuma mad. Just thinking about all of this made anxiety stir in his gut, and he felt this intense nausea wash over him.

The admin was the closest thing he ever had to a father-

No.

Tango wouldn’t think like that. Equally, Tango wouldn’t swallow his pride this time. They would make it work, him and Jimmy. After all, that’s what parents did, right? He wasn’t making a mistake, right?

Would a village really be necessary for a child that would be there for a month?

“I… I think we got this. We’ll just… sort it out. We don’t need to bother the other hermits, now do we?” Tango brushed off, practically feeling Jimmy’s hesitation in his bones.

“Well, I don’t know if we’d be bothering them per se. I mean, Scar was acting pretty excited to get to know her,” The avian mumbled, finishing off his bowl quietly.

Tango scowled, pausing for a moment before sighing, “I just… I don’t want X to get mad at us.”

Jimmy paused with this look of pity, a look that made Tango’s insides churn a little more. The avian cleared his throat before taking the now empty bowls, “Look, I’ll go take these downstairs and you get yourself and Flicker ready for bed, alright?”

“Alright,”

—

Whistling wind, ash blowing against his face, loose sediment letting him sink; Tango was in a soul sand valley. Twisting faces of agony beckoned him closer, so maybe he’d bury himself in them. A thousand screams, maybe even hundreds of thousands of screams, all shouting at him to either leave or stay.

He’d been alone here for what felt like an eternity, just sitting and staring at their faces. Their begging faces.

Usually he’d run from something like this, something this horrific, but his feet kept him planted still. The fire and the heat were unbearable, all of the soul fire lashing and hissing at him with all sorts of intensity.

Such an ugly place.

And a piercing shriek broke the air above all the other screams. It was his mother’s, like it always is. It was from the millions of times she screamed for Tango’s father to stop. To stop anything he did. To Tango. To her.

It sickened Tango to hear it again. It made him want to run, to hide, and to never leave.

“TangoTek,” an all too familiar voice muttered, a hand firmly planting itself on his shoulder, “look at me when I speak to you,”

Tango couldn’t speak, like he even wanted to, really. He would much rather stay facing away from that bastard, never again listening to a word he says. He’s had this dream a million times, each one in an all too familiar location. Every single time, he’s refused to acknowledge the man behind him, because he had no reason to listen to his father anymore.

He was an adult now.

Besides, why would he ever give that man the time of day considering what he did to Tango’s mother? Every single thing he did?

“Look at me,”

But this time, and he wasn’t sure why, he was a little more convinced to do so. Maybe this was his body’s way of seeking peace of mind. Just a reminder that the bastard couldn’t hurt him or his mom anymore.

He was gonna do it. He was gonna turn around and face him. This was his chance.

His head hurt to move, like it physically pained his neck. He strained his eyes trying to get the best look possible. Then, almost like snapping a twig, he turned around so suddenly. And…

And…

Oh Stars…

Please, no…

It was him. Not his father. Him.

Himself.

Tango stared at a version of him with frigid cold eyes and an evil sneer. He stared at a version of himself with sharp claws and even sharper gaze. A cruel smirk cracked its way on his other self’s face.

“Good boy,” it whispered, making unholy shivers run down Tango’s spine, “you finally learn to listen.”

He shot up from bed, panting. His heart was thundering in his chest. Sick, vomit, nausea. All of them were welling up in Tango’s stomach and mixing into this bile. His heart was still beating so hard, it made it feel like someone was punching him in his chest. His hands were shaking like leaves in a tornado, as a matter of fact, his whole body. He heaved for air, but no matter how much he gasped there wasn’t enough. Never enough.

Fuck… fuck!

The Hellion’s lungs started to hyperventilate, and it made Tango feel like he was running a marathon. Stars, please don’t make him wake up Jimmy or Flick. His ears began to ring, the back of his neck now burning hot. His hair ignited again, but this time, into a roaring fire.

Please don’t wake them up-

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and quickly, yet quietly, made his way over into the bathroom. He didn’t bother turning the lights on as he was already too frazzled to walk straight. He silent clicked the bathroom door shut.

He turned, and there he was. In the mirror.

His vision was so blurred. He couldn’t tell if he was looking at his father’s grimace or his own frown. He couldn’t discern if he was staring at his father’s downturned eyebrows or his own panicked ones. Were those his eyes? His ears? His teeth? Or were they his fathers?

Were they his father’s all along?

Did he delude himself into thinking he was different? How egotistical of him, classic Hellion. So filled with Hubris, he couldn’t see his own fault. How dare he for thinking he could be more than he was born to be.

Damn him.

Tears. Hot tears made their presence known and now he couldn’t stop crying. His whole body shook, wracked with soundless sobs, as he was trying so desperately to not wake Jimmy up.

Tango’s knees shook and gave out, landing him on the cold tiled floor. Who was he to believe he could raise a child? He was poison, just like all of the other Hellions. Poison.

Ready to infect and take down whatever is closest to him. Flick deserves better. He told himself maybe he could be different, he had that deluded hope that maybe, just maybe, Tango could finally have the dream of a family.

But who was he kidding?

“You damn monster!” His father yelled, grabbing Tango’s wrist, and mama screamed for him to stop.

“Stop… Please stop….”

“You are all SO lucky you have me. If it was MY father, you would all be dead. I’m a good guy, aren’t I? You’re all just so damn ungrateful!” His father screamed, grabbing onto his mother’s hair and bringing her face up to his.

Papa always said he loved mama. But now, Tango wasn’t too sure what ‘love’ even was.

Nausea washed over Tango. He clawed at the tiles, dragging himself over to the toilet, “Mama, please…”

“Just- stay hidden, okay, Tango? Your father will be here soon, and I don’t want him to,” Mom paused as her eyes watered and her hands shook, “to get mad at you.”

Tango hurled up whatever was left of his dinner. Spluttering, coughing, hacking up whatever sickening feelings were left. His lungs heaved for more air and his mouth tasted vile. The air smelled of bile and Tango sobbed.

So quietly even he had a hard time hearing it, or maybe, he couldn’t hear himself because his ears kept on fucking ringing. The corners of his vision grew darker and his head spun.

Fuck.

He could feel the hands all over him. All of the hands that made him feel weak. From his father, from anyone who found him at his lowest. The hands that beat him. The hands that tortured him. The hands that took what they wanted from him. The hands that took whatever was left of his souls and crushed it in front of his eyes.

He was poison, Tango. Poisoned by the hands around him. Poisoned by the hands whose memories were blocked out. He could never recall their voices or faces, the ones the hands belonged to, because he couldn’t even if he tried. But the feeling of them, all over his body, hitting, scratching, strangling, bruising. The delicate ones that took, and the harsh ones that tore. Flesh on flesh and infinite carnage.

He was about to pass out, seeing figures in the corner of his vision. His brain twisted, trying to protect itself from every single thing that hurt him. Clenching his teeth, Tango wanted to scream. But that would wake up Jimmy and Flicker.

Who was he kidding?

He was just as pathetic as his father, wasn’t he?

And, like every other time he felt his mind slip, everything went cloudy. His brain stuffed cotton in itself. He was gone again, he was somewhere else, and his body began to move on its own.

He flushed the toilet. He washed his hands. He wiped the vomit and tears from his face. Everything was numb. Everything was robotic. His brain was on autopilot.

Walking back into the dark room, staring at the shapes and form of the bed. Of his boyfriend. Of the crib.

All shapes.

All shapes he could hurt.

Jimmy breathed in and out steadily. Tango hoped whatever dream the avian was having, it was sweet.

Maybe in that dream, they both got to keep Flicker.

The fuzz cleared for a moment, and the cotton burned away to allow in a single drop of regret.

Then the cloudiness came back, and all Tango had the energy to do was slip back into bed, and fall asleep.

Chapter Text

It had been about a week since Tango’s panic attack. The one he didn’t tell Jim about.

Even with the crib and a new supply of baby stuff to last a lifetime, things ‘shockingly’ didn’t get easier. In fact, it almost felt like it had gotten harder.

Jimmy had been experiencing decent rest, being the heavy sleeper that he was, which meant that any disturbance in the night was dealt with by Tango. And, to be clear, Tango didn’t exactly mind that arrangement because any amount of time not sleeping was time spent away from his reoccurring nightmares.

Which, at this point, was a blessing. Because they have been getting a lot worse. He knew why, having a constant reminder of his youth in his face 24/7, of course. He would never blame Flick, though. Never.

But the real thing Jimmy was struggling with was the isolation. Due to how ‘hands on’ parenting tended to be, they needed to be with Flick all the time. Which was expected, but for some odd reason, visits from friends were at a minimum. They never explained why, though, instead displaying eyes of yearning and want. Like they wanted to help out with the baby. Like they desired to be apart of it but something was holding them back.

And Tango had yet to figure out why.

But because no one would stop by and chat, instead only dropping by for few minutes, Jimmy began staring out the window more often. The lack of true sunlight was really beginning to get to the avian, who loved to bask in the sun’s rays while flying. The Hellion almost felt guilty for keeping him here in this little birdcage. And, if Tango was honest, he was starting to look out of the window more often, too. Just counting the seconds before someone came by for a few minutes to drop off some clothes or toys.

But, the thing that was bothering Tango?

Tango felt like he was struggling with everything. Everything he did, he was somehow doing it wrong. Jimmy could just do things and look so natural at it. Though, that made sense considering the avian actually had parental instincts. When the Hellion fed her, changed her, bathed her, or even played with her, he was just doing it wrong. Even when Jim complimented him, telling him he was doing ‘so great’, Tango believed that little nagging voice in his head a lot more.

Could you blame him, though?

But by some miracle, even when Tango was sure he was messing her up in all sorts of ways, she still looked at him with those red eyes filled with wonder. Those red eyes that told him he was going to be okay.

Those red eyes that almost looked like his from a time long ago.

But now, lying face down on his bed, listening to Jimmy softly shush Flicker back to sleep, watching the sun begin to peak through the curtains, Tango had one thing on his mind.

Redstone.

It had felt like an eternity since he could unwind and simply code. The thought of it, to be free for just moment, could almost make him salivate. However, thinking about it, that was kinda weird. Maybe he was losing his mind. Though, he was hesitant to even bring it up to Jim because he was sure Jim felt somewhat similarly. The only way for it to work, him going off for a couple of hours to code, he’d have to offer Jim hours of free time too. Which, he thought was fair.

Rolling over, Tango felt Jimmy’s eyes on the side of his face. Flicking his tail comfortably, the Hellion dragged his eyes from the ceiling and onto his boyfriend. The instant their eyes met, a smile formed on both of their faces. The blankets shuffled as Jim crawled over to Tango, keeping Flicker close to his chest.

Jim’s hands were on Tango the second he was close enough. At this point, so far isolated from anyone else, the physical contact was what helped keep them sane. These hands, out of all the ones that hurt Tango, were his favorite. Because never would they touch without asking, and never would they bruise his skin.

Jim’s free hand made their way all across the Hellion’s bare skin, tracing over every scar with such tender care. Nowadays, Tango was almost always shirtless, thanks to his boyfriend constantly bitching and moaning every time the other put a shirt back on. And, at this point, Tango had almost stopped caring at the feeling of eyes on his bare skin.

“Morning,” the avian whispered, a soft coo filling the otherwise silent air. The Hellion sat up and stretched his back, feeling his head spin and his body get very off balance for a small moment. Even as he was getting his bearings, Jim pressed a peppering of kisses on Tango’s cheek.

“Morning, Jim,” Tango whispered before leaning down and placing a ginger hand on Flick, “And good morning to you, too.”

She shuffled in Jimmy’s arms and hid her face in her blankets. Flick whined, making Jim cock his head to the side.

“What now, hun?” He sighed, a small smile splitting on his face. Tango shook his head, and grumbled.

“Her Jellie is still in her crib,” Tango mumbled, almost whining when Jimmy got up to retrieve it. The drowsiness and general fog of all the days blending together was really starting to affect the Hellion’s brain. That and all of the domestic moments of bliss that reoccurred over and over again.

“Oh, come on, Tango,” Jimmy laughed, picking up the small plushie and dangling it in front of Flick. She giggled, reaching out for the tiny thing and almost immediately went back to sleep once it was in her grasp again.

Oh, to be a baby that could sleep all the time, Tango thought.

“Another day another dollar. Well, only if those dollars were diapers and bottles,” Tango mumbled, pulling Jimmy back into bed to feel the avian’s cool skin against his.

“Sure… gosh, why did you have to pick the coldest place ever to build a base? If it weren’t so cold, we could be outside right now,” Jim complained, holding the baby loosely in his arms.

Not a great time to suggest Tango work on Decked Out, but, he must progress. Because, honestly, he couldn’t take another minute away from the redstone.
‘Cause he had so many ideas and things to do in his mind that only grew the longer he stayed away. And all those things made him so antsy to get back to it all. To be consumed by the redstone. Because when you worked that diligently, there were no thoughts that entered your head. Tango could easily hide away from everything in his complicated pipes, wires, and monoliths of technology.

“Hey, Jim?” He asked, scrunching his face when said man started kissing his face all over.

“Mmm… yes?” The avian responded, smirking with that same devious and handsome smile that stole Tango’s heart. How cheesy.

“I was uh… wondering,” Tango paused, being interrupted by another kiss on his lips.

The Hellion dead panned his boyfriend.

“What? You really can’t blame me. You need to stop looking so dang kissable,” Jimmy replied cheekily. The avian slid a free hand all across Tango’s chest, even dipping down to his stomach.

“Woah, now, buster. You keep your hands in check,” Tango tisked and earned a disappointed caw from the other.

“As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted,” Tango continued, sliding away from Jim to swing his legs over the edge of their bed, “I was wondering if I could maybe go down into Decked Out two and code a little?”

Even with his back facing Jim, the Hellion could still feel his eyes trained on the back of his head. The fur on his back stood up, and Tango wondered how Jimmy could look at it and not feel disgusted.

The question simmered in the air, causing tension to rise up the Hellion’s back and shoot through his entire nervous system. His chest squeezed, and Jimmy hummed a vague answer to his question.

The walls leaned over the Hellion almost like it was asking him, ‘Didn’t X say to stay home and figure this out? Just stay home and parent the baby for Star’s sake’ and Tango felt a little sicker when Jimmy asked, “And leave me alone?”

Fuck.

Tango’s nausea came back at full force. His heart started beating a little faster, and his thoughts started to spiral.

Was he asking for too much?

Maybe he was asking for too much.

He was being ridiculous.

He can survive without his coding

He was so damn selfish.

He didn’t deserve Jimmy.

“Sorry,” He felt himself saying before Jimmy quickly amended his statement.

“No, no! I mean, well, would someone come help me or would I be by myself? I’m fine either way really,” Jim said, scooting closer to the Hellion and placing a sturdy hand on his shoulder, “I promise I’m not upset or anything.”

If Jimmy could sense him spiraling, he didn’t say.

“I really am sorry,” Tango mumbled, his voice much more smaller and much younger than he intended. Jim sucked in a breath.

They stood still for a moment.

Tango blinked and suddenly there was a baby in his arms who stared at him with those same red eyes.

“Hey Tango!” Jimmy spoke, his voice an octave higher and with a silly inflection, “it is perfectly okay if you leave us for a little bit. I don’t mind at all!”

“Jim. What are you doing?”

“Jim? Who is Jim? I am Flicker! And I’m saying that me and the weird looking bird are gonna have sooo much fun while you’re away!” Jim, no, ‘Flicker’, replied.

Tango laughed and turned to face the avian behind him, “Are you done?”

“Yes, I am, love,” Jimmy whispered back placing a small peck on the shorter male’s nose.

More silence, but it lasted much longer as Tango found a nice and comfy spot on Jimmy’s shoulder. Soft clock noises could be heard, the tiny ticks and clicking of the gears. Jim’s soft breaths and Flicker’s softer ones.

Peaceful.

“Are you sure it’s alright? I feel bad leaving you alone,” Tango wondered, allowing his own hand to hold Jim’s face tenderly. The short stubble on his boyfriend, the kind Tango adored completely, poked the skin of his palm.

“Yes, it’s alright. I’ll just… watch more TV. Or read a book. Or, hell, mess around with Flick,” Jim shrugged, pausing to give a big yawn.

“Just to make it up to you, when I get back, you are entitled to however much time I spent away all by yourself. Does that sound fair?” Tango offered, staring up at the avians contemplative face.

“Sure it sounds fair, but, gosh, it’d be nice to have a babysitter. Are you sure we can’t ask for one, because I’d honestly rather spend my free time with either you, Grian, Mumbo, or Scar,” Jimmy answered, allowing his now free hands to feel Tango up and down.

“I know… but, I don’t think a babysitter is an option for us. You saw how X was,” Tango responded, waving his tail in front of Flick. She reached for it with the hand that wasn’t holding her Jellie.

“Man, screw X, he’s been such a big butthole recently. How can he expect us to raise a kid with no help? And why? Like what’s his deal?” Jim sighed, flopping onto his back and dragging his hands down his face.

“I don’t know. Look, until someone says otherwise, I don’t wanna get on his bad side. I’ve heard he hasn’t been uh… getting a lot of sleep lately,” Tango admitted, laying Flicker onto the mattress. She whined and grabbed at his direction. He began to walk away from the bed, looking through his drawers for good outside clothes. When his tail swished, Flick nabbed it, pulling Tango into a moment of stillness.

Jim noticed this, sitting back up and staring at the two Hellions. His wings twitched, and with an almost amazed, almost pained expression he said, “She wants you to stay.”

Tango went back and placed a slightly hesitant hand on her side, and she smiled. With a small huff, Tango whispered, “I’ll be back, Flicker, I promise.”

Flicker looked at him like she didn’t believe it. But how could she understand? She was a baby.

“I’ll be back in a few hours. Uhm… call me or text me if you have any questions or if something goes wrong, okay?” Tango spoke, slipping on his usual blue robes, feeling the soft fabric cover his skin.

“Okay, love, I’ll keep this ship afloat,” Jim promised, picking up Flicker and planting a kiss on her cheek. She giggled.

“Oh, and Jim, You’re not a weird looking bird,” Tango quickly added before walking out the door, “I don’t know why Flicker would say that.”

—

This was what he needed.

The sound of his footsteps echoed all throughout the cavern of wires and redstone. Everything was dark, his tail being enough light for him to just make out the shapes and forms of the metal framework. The copper and steel shimmered and reflected the flickering fire light. The checklist of all things technological ran over and over in his brain without stop.

Everything looked fine on the more shallow parts of the complex, so, if he wanted to get anything actually done, he’d have to dive deeper. Tango sighed, the exhilaration shooting through his veins and exploding on his head. A steady flame began to simmer as the Hellion leaped off of the copper grate pathway and slid down a large slanted pipe, thick enough to comfortably fit a boulder inside. Whizzing down several feet into the belly of the complex, the wind rushing in his ears filled him with excitement. Landing on a thick platform of wires, he yelled out loud, “I’m god of Redstone! Fear me, mother fuckers!”

The declaration rang out and bounced off every single surface. Yes, he absolutely needed this. He sauntered off of the platform, slipping down onto some loose copper grates and finally, onto the concrete floor. Staring up, the ceiling felt like a mile away. That was because it was too dark to see the ceiling.

A small sweep gave him a list of at least five separate things to work on. He checked his communicator’s timer.

He had four hours left to code. Damn.

But it made sense that he couldn’t code for as long as he usually did. Because normally, it would be days. Especially when he was feeling extra anxious. It was easy to simply escape into a labyrinth so complex that no one could find him. It was his perfect hiding spot from the world. And his brain never stopped thinking, which allowed redstone gave it plenty to think about. But now, he couldn’t hide for as long as he’d like to. Because, half of him wanted to stay down here for a week, only ever leaving to get some water.

He would easily sacrifice his sleep, his nutrition, his health, anything to simply hide away from all of these old thoughts. These memories he’d kept down for literal years.

But now he had a baby.

Well- no, he didn’t have a baby. He was looking after a baby. A baby like him.

Flicker.

HOUR 1

First, he addressed some small mechanisms that were absolutely not optimized. They ran slow and cost too much power to make run well. He’d have to fix them, see if they could be improved.

The first little mechanisms was meant to be a repeating tick something or other, just a little doohickey to help a much larger mechanism function. But these repeaters looked to be completely whacked. Probably a patch job from before.

If Tango rearranged the repeaters themselves, allowing their pulses to be produced easier, reworking the redstone and wiring, placing down a redstone torch and flicking some of the repeaters to the right tick speed and-

Click!

It hummed to life. Damn right. That was much easier than the last time he was in here.

That was before Flicker got here, and Stars, that felt like a lifetime ago. How was Flick doing now? Tango hoped she wasn’t giving Jim a hard time. It wasn’t exactly a mystery that she adored Tango.

Tango glanced at his communicator again, almost anticipating a text from Jim saying that she has not stopped crying since the Hellion left. If he felt any disappointment seeing no notifications, he refused to admit it. Because this was coding time!

Turning to the other side of the mechanism was a piston that sounded like a dying cat when turned on. Walking over to it, Tango grumbled when the reason became apparent. The shaft of the piston was pretty malformed, probably just a sloppy crafting job on the Hellion’s part.

He couldn’t really fix it right now, unless he wanted go outside, get the materials, and make sure nothing was bent or misshaped. Which, he didn’t want to do because this was precious coding time.

Tango then turned to the much large contraption. This bad boy was what sorted through all of the power ups in Decked Out. Or, was supposed to. Because this thing worked so little, it was pretty embarrassing. Especially when he compared himself to other redstone wizzes like Etho or Mumbo. He stared at the sloppy redstone and extra wiring.

Guess that’s what he was going to work on.

HOUR 2

His communicator buzzed almost ten minutes ago with the cutest photo he’d ever seen in his life.

Well- no, not the cutest, because that meant he’d be getting attached.

The photo was a selfie Flicker and Jimmy, and Stars did it pull at his heartstrings. Jimmy looked so happy and Flicker looked so adorable. She looked so much healthier, too. The worst part was Tango could literally not stop looking at the picture. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her smile. Her joy. And he couldn’t tear his own heart away from the jealousy that stirred within. A little too much of him wanted to be there. A little too much of him wanted to be the reason that she smiled.

The machine in front of him spluttered, and finally startled him enough to avert his gaze from the bright screen. He needed to focus.

Looking back at the gears, it was clear that they needed to be rearranged. Sighing, Tango took off all of the hunks of metal from their places and put them in a much better, much smarter arrangement. He really needed to stop doing these fast and hasty jobs because the time it took to fix all of it was way too inconvenient.

When he slotted in the biggest gear last and situated some of the belts, he isolated this specific mechanism and powered it on. It whizzed to life, seemingly struggling much less to turn its parts. Tango sighed and changed his attention back to the screen.

He quickly sent a message to Jim saying they looked like they were having fun, trying not to let it show in the ‘tone’ of the text that he was envious of them. As much as he needed the time away, just a little alone time, he couldn’t deny missing the relaxed life he’d gotten used to. Not having to worry about anything other than a dirty diaper sounded great. But, alas, the show much go on.

He shook himself into focus mode once more and began a short trek across the cavern to a different machine. The one that made it so you couldn’t spend too long in the game. The time limit, basically. He tried to keep his mind in the game, to allow himself to get consumed by the redstone and occupy himself. It was the best medicine, after all. But even as he tried to focus, he couldn’t help but wonder when they should make more formula for Flick.

They made some more not too long ago but now it was starting to run out and Flick was a hungry girl. Probably from the long time she spent being hungry in the nether. A feeling he knew all too well. A feeling that sometimes made him nauseous when he thought about it, which was why he refused to think any further on the topic.

He wasn’t about to trigger another panic attack in the code for Decked Out two.

Once he got to to the hunk of metal, he genuinely felt pretty pleased with it. Was it the most ergonomic? No, not by a long shot, but did it work? Absolutely. And plus, the neatness of it all didn’t matter when one took in the scale of this behemoth. Tango knew he needed to get to the top, where the work needed to be done. He launched himself up, grabbing onto a sturdy pipe and hoisting himself up on it. He perched almost like a bird to see where he should leap next. Nothing too delicate, of course, because he didn’t want to break anything.

He decided to hop onto a decently thick metal plate that guarded some important wires. Was it smart? Nope! But was Tango smart?

Yes.

Which was why it was embarrassing when the metal sheet snapped and Tango got his foot tangled in a mess of metal, plastic, and rubber. Damn.

“Hells Bellow!” He cursed, quickly untangling himself and checking out the damage. It was minimal, so little it probably wouldn’t matter. Of course, the only real damage was to the metal guarding the wires. Tango grumbled, sucking the scraps into his inventory for later recycling. Since the missing metal wasn’t a huge deal for the bundle of cords, the Hellion simply walked off, climbing a little more onto the roof.

He plopped down, neatly tucking his legs in the most comfortable position and curled his tail around his own waist. He summoned some redstone from his inventory and observed the quantity of it left. He frowned when there wasn’t nearly enough. He’d need to go shopping sometime soon, preferable today or tomorrow, and get some more.

“Gosh, of all times?” He whispered to himself absentmindedly, getting to work on the contraption that produced the sounds associated with the time limit system. It felt nice to create a small little machine from scratch again.

Even though he wasn’t as ‘in it’ as he usually is. Thanks, Flick.

HOUR 3

He didn’t need more pictures.

He honestly, truly, did not in the slightest. Really, he shouldn’t even be caring. He should be so focused on programming and building that the sound of his notifications hardly even startled him. He should be so locked in that he didn’t rush to check to see if it was Jim who texted.

He shouldn’t be so bothered that he was relieved to know it was just more pictures of Flicker. And he really should have been more responsible and not stare at them for another ten minuets, wishing he was there.

But he did just about everything he shouldn’t do.

Tango slapped himself in the face, putting his communicator away, far away into his inventory, and getting back to work. Through the sounds of sparks and metal and stone and machinery, Tango tried to convince himself he was getting way too attached. Like- overly attached. What was he doing? Being concerned for a baby that was absolutely in no way his?

He needed to get a grip on himself. This was the sleep deprivation talking! And the isolation! And the lack of sunlight! But even if it wasn’t, even if Tango was still absolutely beginning to feel all soft and stuff, he needed to remind himself of one simple fact.

He could never, ever, in a million years, be a dad. Because there was too much at risk. Too many memories, and especially too many instincts that weren’t there. And besides, love took time. He couldn’t just fall head over heels in love with a baby after a single week? A single, very stressful, week. Tango couldn’t just decide one random morning that he felt these things, because that’s just now how kids worked! Kids were huge deals!

And the Hellion just existed in his nature. The Hellion was, and acted, just like a Hellion.

He continued to fiddle with the wires, fixating his brain on the task at hand. It was a little strange, the wiring, as everything was in the least inconvenient place. The Hellion almost felt embarrassed at how sloppy all of his redstone was. He remembered when Mumbo taught Tango everything he knew. Tango remembered being so confused. Tango remembered his English sucking complete ass. But equally, he remembered how accomplished he felt when he turned on a redstone lamp for the first time.

He fixed all the jumbled wires and added some redstone dust and a redstone torch. He placed some more note blocks and calibrated the sounds to produce the desired ones. The Hellion sucked in a breath and powered on the machine.

The little device flicked on, and a bunch of wonderful, wild sounds were emitted. Now, to adjust their timing and behavior and relation to the timer itself. That would be a much harder, much more tedious task. The internal clock would need to be programmed with the sound triggers, and-

Well, Tango should stop thinking about it, and just do it.

…

What could Flicker and Jimmy be doing right now?

HOUR 4

Right, well, Jimmy was being the absolute opposite of helpful. Just more pictures and little updates. Each time his phone buzzed, he had to exhibit way more restraint than he’d expect just to keep himself in check. But each time he’d cave and open the photo each time.

He had to keep himself from grumbling in dissatisfaction at the jealousy of not being there with them. He just wanted to go back, and he’d never thought he’d ever see the day that he’d be counting down the seconds until he could leave Decked Out.

But he’d be out soon. Just 30 more minutes, and he could be in his room with his boyfriend and his baby-

No, Flicker. Not his baby.

By the time the sound machine was completely working, Tango found himself unable to find a new project to work on. He was just sitting on the cold concrete and staring at all of the photos he’d been sent. The one he stared at the longest was the photo of Flick peacefully sleeping in her crib.

It was so hard to describe. There was this feeling all throughout his very being. It didn’t swell, rather, it slithered through his muscles. It was electrifying, the way this feelings snaked its way through Tango’s ribs and right into his heart. Pride wasn’t a good way to describe it. Nor was adoration, because that would be too intimate or sincere. Rather, enthrallment.

He just wanted to curl around her sleeping body and protect her from the world.

No, he actually didn’t want to do that because they were going to be dropping her off in Hub in about three-ish weeks. It was unwise to feel so…

Then, a call notification from Xisuma. His communicator buzzed in his dirty palms and Tango felt so… confused. Why was X calling him? Did he do something wrong? Did the firewall take less time to repair than anticipated?

His stomach churned at the idea of Flicker being taken away so soon, and he couldn’t even deny it.

The Hellion’s finger hovered above the accept button. He paused for a few more seconds before tapping the screen. There was silence for a little bit. But those few seconds felt like an eternity.

“Hello?” Tango croaked, his nerves replacing that elated feeling in his chest from earlier.

“Hey, Tango, I saw that your… uhm, location has changed. Are you programming right now?” The admin asked, bluntly and as to-the-point as a guy could be. Though, the Hellion noted that Xisuma sounded a little too tired to be healthy.

“Uh… I am. Are you okay?” Tango responded, standing up from his spot on the floor and beginning to pace all around. He glanced at the well crafted redstone implements and the crappy ones. All of them looked at him like he was about to die.

“I’m fine. Why are you, uh, coding? Who’s looking after… uh… Flicker, right?” X hastily replied, changing the subject away from himself almost scarily fast. Tango grimaced.

“Oh, yea, that’s her name,” the Hellion confirmed, leaning against a pipe, “and, uhm, I’m coding because I needed to. Jimmy’s looking after her.”

“Okay. Cool. Just get back soon, alright? I’d hate for Ji-Jimmy to be too tired for longer,” The admin slurred, barely able to produce a comprehensible sentence. A bubble of annoyance rose in Tango’s chest from X’s demands. He wasn’t going to stay down here for that long. Not like he usually does. What was this guy’s freaking issue?

“Yea, sure,” Tango grumbled, not being able to keep the last but under wraps, “I don’t see why it’s such a big deal though.”

If someone in the future wrote about the dumbest things a person could do ever, this decision would probably be in there. Because when your admin is so sleep deprived that they can’t talk, so stressed they aren’t even acting like themselves, and so frustrated any tiny thing sets them off; what you shouldn’t do is poke them.

The Hellion could almost feel bad for Xisuma. If the admin hadn’t been acting the way he was ever since he found out about the security issue. Not since he’d put the two servers under a strict lockdown. But at least a week ago, he had the audacity to care. Now, there was no rational thinking holding him back. There was only sleep deprivation, hunger, and thirst speaking to the Hellion.

“Because! Tango, I am your admin. I have been slaving away in my room for a week now, doing n-nothing but fix an issue that popped up out of no where. I have practically no leads at all, and I’m doing my best with what I have and… be-besides, you should be thankful for this!” Xisuma chided, his words slurring horribly into a concoction of all of the feelings that had been piling up this last week. And it pissed Tango off to no end that HE out of all people had to be on the back end of it.

But what bothered him the most was the thought that he should be ‘thankful’. This dark feeling of threatening dread creep through his body.

He was back at spawn in season two. He could see all of their inquisitive faces. He’d just learned some conversational English. They asked questions he didn’t want to answer. They asked questions that made him feel like an animal. He wasn’t one of them, then. He was an anomaly. Tango was a Hellion.

“What do you mean, X? Huh? Why should I be thankful?” The Hellion asked, his tone dangerously low. Was all of that respect misplaced? Who was he even speaking to? Was this X? Or was this some fucked up byproduct of his stress?

Xisuma audibly groaned in frustration before furiously responding, “Because you’re a Hellion! She’s a Hellion! I should-shouldn’t have to explain myself more than that! You just keep on complaining and complaining when you and Jim should be fine on your guy’s own.”

…

There were no words. Absolutely zero to equate to the feeling of utter betrayal he felt. All of those years, all of that trust, it felt like this was some twisted form of a joke. So, because he was a Hellion, it was only natural, huh? Tango couldn’t even begin to explain how wrong that sentiment was. How wrong X was.

Even if, by some godly miracle, Hellions, specifically the male ones, could actually feel that paternal love, who’s to say that Tango would even be a good parent? Was it from some archaic idea that species should stay with their own damn species?

Tango didn’t even want to respond, he didn’t even want to acknowledge it. He didn’t want to argue and piss the admin off more. But the rage was too much. The quiet, calm flame on his head ignited into something volatile and dangerous.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tango spoke, his voice almost a venomous hiss.

“Maybe… maybe I’d know if-if you told us anything. But you- you keep all of your cards so close to your chest-“ X was cut off. Tango hung up, and after he did, he hung his head. Silence closed in all around him. The darkness couldn’t even hug him because his hair was too bright. Tango couldn’t tell you why exactly he was crying. He was so angry, so viscerally upset, that those emotions couldn’t be held back.

There on the floor, he just cried angry tears while his heart twisted. He missed his boyfriend. He missed his admin. He missed his friends. He missed Flick.

He didn’t even know why he was staying there to code when he was hardly getting anything done. He’s never wanted to just up and leave. And the dark cave-like space almost made him feel all closed in rather than free. The void of light felt like it was closing in rather than embracing and the pipes were snaking around him and the gears had sharp teeth and the wires were strangling-

He needed out. He had 30 minutes left on his timer, but he was leaving now. Right now.

—

English was hard to learn. It was about two weeks since his sudden arrival into this server, and the Hellion was hellbent, pun not intended, to learn this language as quick as possible. He wanted to leave Hellspeak behind, abandoning it and completely starting anew.

Now, Xisuma was sitting with him, helping him with his vocabulary and grammar homework. The admin had some ungodly patience. Xisuma just stared at him with these gentle eyes that were as still as stone. The best part was that Tango didn’t need to see his mouth to know the other man was smiling. That was his favorite thing about Xisuma.

“I… I picked up uh… the cobblestone, and I speak- spoke… to my friend,” The Hellion garbled out, translating the sentences on the paper in his head as he tried to string together a sentence that was comprehensible. It was bad, and they both knew it. But Xisuma never stopped smiling.

“That was good!” The visored man exclaimed, clapping together his hands in this overly positive manner. The Hellion got embarrassed, feeling his tail snake around his ankle and his eyes drop to the table.

“It was not,” Tango quickly responded, feeling his cheeks heat up with something that wasn’t literal fire. He gripped his pencil, a strange object meant to write things, and scribbled a sloppy sad face on the paper in his nerves.

“Yes it was, Tango. We all start somewhere,” Xisuma smiled, before pausing and furrowing his brows, “Though, it is hard to learn a language when these example sentences are so trash.”

Trash… trash… what did trash mean, again? And Tango knew that word, crap! He knew that word, but what did it mean? Well, from the context of the sentence, probably something negative. And by the look in his eyes.

But what did trash mean?

…

OH YEA! Prahlaçao! Garbage! Xisuma meant that these sentences were so bad, they could be thrown away. Wait, they were bad? What about them were bad? Was he learning incorrect English?

“What… is bad about the… these sentences?” Tango questioned, easing out the words at an easier pace for him, as well as giving him enough time to get rid of his accent as much as possible.

“Well, it’s not that they’re bad, per se,” Xisuma explained, making the Hellion internally cry at the misunderstanding on his part, “it’s more that no one talks like this. It’s too formal and bulky. You should learn all of the formal bits later, just focus on being able to talk to us first.”

Tango combed through all of the sentences in his head, translating it at a rapid speed. He absolutely did not understand all of that, but it’s okay. Xisuma understood. After a very long pause, one that probably felt a lot more awkward for Tango than Xisuma, he finally found that he could respond.

“How… do you like us to talk?” He asked, sure he said the sentence completely right with no grammatical errors.

“Well, I would like us to talk like we were friends. About friendly stuff, Y’know?”

Shit. Tango didn’t say that right.

“Uhm… yes, that sounds nice,” he quickly replied, trying to improve is response speed.

“Well… I’ll start asking some questions, alright? And you just tell me in your best English,” Xisuma said, slowly and steadily just for Tango.

“Okay,”

“Alright then, what do you like to do?” Xisuma asked, his eyes tracing over the contours of Tango’s face. The Hellion turned the question over in his head, first by translating, and then to actually figure out an answer. But, despite him enjoying a lot of things, he didn’t think they were hobbies. He liked having food around. He liked being able to sleep and not worry. He liked all of the medicine around. He liked seeing happy faces.

But Tango assumed Xisuma wanted to know something that he would do in his free time. And although he didn’t like doing it, the only thing he did in his free time was walk. He would walk the nether like his species was meant to do. He walked the traditional, nomadic way. So, he figured he’d say that, “I like uh… to do walking, Xisuma,”

The admin cocked his head to the side and had this gentle confusion etched in the wrinkle of his brow.

“What?” He asked, “just walking? Not like… building? Decorating? Designing? Engineering? Redstoning?”

Redstoning? What’s that? Is that netherrack? Netherrack is a red stone. That’s probably not what Xisuma meant because if he meant netherrack, he’d say netherrack!

“What do you mean, Xisuma?” Tango pressed, watching him sigh softly.

“Like, everyone on Hermitcraft specializes in something that they find interesting. There are all sorts of things you could do. Not just uh… walking.”

“Like what, Xisuma?”

“First, you don’t need to keep saying my name all the time. Much less my full name. Just-… call me X, okay?” The admin said, placing a hand on the Hellion’s shoulder, “Second, if you’d like, I can introduce you to building. I’ll show you what I know and, well, I’ll be the best teacher I can.”

Standing up, ‘X’ brushed himself off. He closed the English textbook they were working on and gave another smile to the Hellion. Summoning the book into his inventory, he offered Tango a hand.

When was the last time someone did that? Offered him a hand? Probably the Hellion men all too similar to his father who wanted to take advantage on him. But ‘X’ was a human, at least Tango was sure he was human, and humans didn’t take things like Hellions did. At least, he was sure humans didn’t take like Hellion’s did.

But unlike his father, X still smiled when Tango took a long time to translate the sentences in his head. He smiled when Tango hesitated before taking his hand. He smiled when Tango didn’t even verbally respond. He just kept smiling.

“If you’d like, I can get Mumbo to teach you redstone. You seem like the kind of guy who’d like that,” Xisuma said, guiding the Hellion out of his home and into the open world.

“No matter what, Tango, I’m here for you. It’s my job to protect you, you know?”

It’s his job.

Papa never said that.

Papa never took his hand either.

Tango really liked this ‘X’ guy.

—

Tango didn’t like the cold air that brushed up against his skin, causing his fire to worsen as his body desperately tried to warm him up. Sometimes even he didn’t know why he chose this ice wasteland as the best place for a base. It was so frigid, he had to infuse himself with soul fire.

He pulled the robes around his body tighter as he plowed through the snow all the way up to his base. He equally didn’t know why he thought it would be a good idea to put the heart of his operations, his redstone, away from his base rather than inside. Well, he probably did it because, at the time, he didn’t want to light his base on fire from the sheer heat from the wiring.

He just missed being home. He didn’t want to code, he didn’t want to think about X, and he especially didnt want to think about fathers. He just wanted to simply cuddle with his family-

His boyfriend and the baby, he meant.

And he wanted to deal with the memories as they came. He just wanted to feel Flicker’s little body on his chest. Tango later came to terms with this, but it was her favorite spot.

The snow crunched underneath his boots and the wind whistles in his ears. His fire intensified and his tail tucking itself deep into the fabrics of his clothes. Tango’s clawed fingers gripped himself so tightly, he began to worry about piercing his own skin. The conifer trees smiled at him sweetly and shushed him to calm down but the shrubs hissed at him to go away with their brittle branches.

As he walked, he heard some soft noises and squeaking. Turning, he was face to face with a mother fox and a young fox pup. She had the pup by its scruff as she pushed it back into their den. The pup wished to follow her, but she did not want it to. Tango felt his heart twist. The pup called for her.

‘I’ll be back, Flicker, I promise,’

She did not respond, only walking off to find some food in the winter wasteland. She never looked back because she knew she’d come back.

Flicker looked at him like she didn’t believe it. But how could she understand? She was a baby.

The pup retreated back into the den and Tango could hear it whine. And he felt sick. Because the pup didn’t know, did it? It was just a baby. He walked away quickly, this guilt gnawing at him.

His communicator buzzed and Tango didn’t want to look. Just incase it was Xisuma telling him how he’s been such an issue. Or just him nagging at the Hellion and being so damn annoying. But Tango looked anyway.

Jim was calling him.

Tango didnt know if he should be happy or terrified. One part of him just wanted to hear the man’s voice. Another part of him knew that Jim would only call if something went wrong. He clicked the accept button much quicker than he did with the admins

“Hey Tango?” Jimmy immediately spoke, his voice a little shaken.

Tango’s entire body went numb. That voice… it killed his soul quicker than anything else. His hands began to shake and his breath drew quick. The Hellion’s lungs burned with the cold air, and his feet began moving much quicker toward the citadel.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice as sharp as ice. He really didn’t mean to sound that harsh, but he really couldn’t help it. His heart hammered in his chest.

“I don’t know- she’s not acting like anything’s wrong but-“ Jimmy was cut off by a loud curse from Tango. His feet began running. Bolting. He couldn’t stop himself from moving, like his whole body was on autopilot.

“Tango I think she’s okay I just need you to-“ Jimmy tried to soothe the Hellion, but it wasn’t working. The mere thought of Flicker not being okay bothered him so much, but he didn’t know why. He couldn’t know why.

“I’ll be there,” Tango said in between breaths as his feet took him to the citadel. It’s form clogged up the skyline beautifully. He ran across the long bridge, never stopping for a single moment for air. The long, sharp spires loomed over him as he darted across.

Approaching the large doors, he slammed his fist into the button that opened them. The adrenaline made his head all woozy as he waited. He waited for just long enough to be able to slip through the crack in the door and slam the button to make them close again.

He ran down the corridors lined with blue soul torches and statues of weeping Angels. The halls echoed his footsteps into one cavernous thud. Skidding through the halls, he came to the first staircase. Without any hesitation, he bolted up those too. He was sure the avian could hear him at this point, given that he was probably much louder than anything else in the entire structure.

He ran down another hall, weaving through some pillars. Up the second flight of stairs, Tango could hear the door to his room open. The large wood screamed in agony as another, much quieter voice shouted too.

“Tango, seriously, I think it’s fine! I was just curious- I wanted to ask you! I didn’t want you to leave your thing early!” He called, but Tango didn’t listen. Tango didn’t want to.

He skidded around another corner and saw Jimmy holding a bundle in his arms. Just like the first time he saw her, in a bundle of blankets. Tango rushed up, his hands on Jimmy’s shoulders as he frantically looked for any sign of harm. Flicker only gave him a big smile, looking at him with those eyes of hers.

He did see what prompted Jimmy’s call.

Tango just didn’t think this would happen so soon.

—-//—-///—-//—-

Hellion Biology Lesson 9: Changing of Flame Colors.

As stated in lesson 8, a Hellion’s hair is determined by their physical well-being. Red for bad, orange for fine, yellow for good, and blue fire for ambiguous. (Note: Blue hair often indicates good health, but other times it doesn’t. It’s rather an indicator of a Hellion’s fire ‘manipulation’ skills and its ferocity).

This hair can be ignited with the help of special oils on their scalps. This oil is lit when certain hormones and chemicals from the brain make their way to the heart, the internal fire, which then allows for their body to absorb more heat and eventually… poof! Flaming hair!

Obviously, why the hair color indicates the general health of the Hellion is unknown. It’s speculated that the hair was used to identify weaker links in the pack (yes, Hellion’s used to travel in packs before the arrival of the over world. Which is strange given their new solitary nature) and could single out a weaker Hellion to neutralize. Another lesser accepted theory is that Hellions would treat and care for the red haired ones so that everyone was safe and healthy as it’s better to travel together in the nether.

Of course, the chemical process is much more documented. Surprisingly, a Hellion’s hair color change is strangely similar to the ignition of their tail flame (spoken more of in Lesson 20) than anything else. This is due to the release of certain chemicals, some being endorphins and serotonin, which affect the internal flame.

If the heart of a Hellion is rather stressed, trying to keep the creature alive etc, then it’s naturally weaker, and thus, a weaker flame. Flames that are red, outside of a Hellion context, are less hot than flames that are orange and yellow. That’s why campfires are more reddish around the edges than in the center. A cooler Hellion is considered an unhealthy one.

That’s why it’s important to note, when a Hellion is healthier, whether it’s through physical strength, sleep, suitable diet, or simple overall happiness, their internal flames will get stronger. And, turn their hair into a brighter, stronger color.

A Hellions hair change may also be affected by their mental state. If a Hellion is determined enough or has enough will to live, then their hair will stay brighter if in a worse physical shape. That’s why, in very rare occasions. Some Hellions may die with red hair. This, however, is incredibly rare and not seen very often.

As stated in lesson 8, “Most Hellions die with brown hair”

—-//—-///—-//—-

Flicker had orange hair. No more red hair that made Tango want to kill the world for hurting her so badly, now it was orange. No more red hair like his mom’s, because now it was orange.

“It changed while she was sleeping,” Jimmy whispered, his voice growing increasingly worried at Tango’s silence, “I don’t know what it meant, but I wanted to call to make sure. I just didn’t notice. I’m so sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry, Love. This is amazing… wonderful. This is a good thing,” Tango reassured, cupping the avians face and pressing a sweet kiss on his lips. Tango was too overwhelmed with happiness to think right.

Tango picked bundle up into his arms and Flicker simply laughed and reached up for his face. Her tiny hands held his cheeks like he was her whole world. Tango smiled ear to ear like a child and buried his face into her and kissed her all over. He didn’t think about it, honestly he didn’t, because if he did, he’d keep his excitement to himself.

But her laugh and her smile and her smell made him so weak after such a mentally exhausting day.

She smelled amazing. Like ash and smoke and this specific sweetness only from Hellion babies. He didn’t need to have smelled the smell before to know. It was really strange how he just knew. Either way, Tango inhaled her scent into his nose and allowing his body to fill with all of the oxytocin it could manage.

His hair simmered and eventually snuffed out all on his own. She clicked at him softly, earning a very, very quiet click back from the hazy minded Hellion. It was almost silent, but Jimmy heard it, and his eyes lit up like the night sky on the Fourth of July. Jim’s eyes filled with wonder and excitement, and he was doing a shit job at keeping it hidden.

However, He stayed quiet, letting Tango get all of his feels out and just love her. The avian simply knew Tango had a rough day in the coding cavern without the other man saying a single thing. And Tango wondered if Jimmy knew it was about X.

A ginger hand made its way to the small of Tango’s back and a warm wing was draped over his shoulder, “Before you get all of your dirt and grime all over her, how about you take a shower, okay? And after that I’ll take one, because the Stars know I need it.”

Tango nodded, allowing himself to be easily coaxed into his own room, too occupied with the baby in his arms. Her sweet face. Her big red eyes that stared and the little dot in the middle of her forehead that shimmered like magma. It shined just as bright as his mother’s.

Maybe… maybe even twice as bright.

—

Even after a shower that was meant to be cleansing, that was meant to be able to clear his mind and make him think rationally, he still found himself circled around a baby that had him wrapped around her finger. She laid there on the mattress and his entire body completely encircled her form in some weird way to protect her. From nothing, Tango acknowledged.

Jimmy was showering now, and Stars did he deserve it. (As well as the moon and stars, and shit, the whole galaxy). The avian had been so gracious and so patient all day, Tango was still perplexed on what he did to deserve it all.

But the shower, oh, his shower. He thought by the end of it, he’d be so embarrassed that he let himself go that much and kiss and hug Flick like he’d been away at war. Alas, he wasn’t. Not even in the slightest. In fact, he thought he was justified still. Which, in the logical side of his brain, made him die a little. How on earth could he get so caught up in feelings for random babies?

Flicker’s eyes wandered all over the Hellion’s bare chest, staring in wonder at the assortment of scars and marks. One half of him wanted to be proud for holding her attention for so long, and the other half prayed she’d never know where any of them came from.

The pitter of water from behind the wooden door facing his back made him all sorts of sleepy. Hearing Jimmy’s sweet voice coming through the cracks of the door made him even more sleepy. And watching Flicker doze off in front of his face, purring so contentedly made him even more sorts of sleepy. He dragged his hands up and down her back, using his claws to push better into the fabric of her new Jellie onesie.

Jim told him that it was now her favorite onesie somehow.

And the Hellion was at the mercy of her at this moment. Anything she did would be forever praised by him in a second. But Tango knew that this wouldn’t last. See, he recognized that this was probably, hopefully, some hormonal haze after a stressful day. Being in the presence of a baby didn’t help, now did it?

But it kinda weirded Tango out that he would be all hormonal and protective of Flicker at all. Tango always thought that he’d get aggressive rather than protective. That’s how his dad always was. And besides, has anyone forgotten that good Hellion dads just can’t exist?

But maybe they can!

A voice called deep within his very being. It was silenced immediately. There was no point in getting any hopes up. This can’t work. He knows it can’t. He’d seen it a million times before. He’d seen so many fathers hurt their kids. He’d seen so many kids become the very thing they hated. Because they didn’t know they had a choice, Tango noted, but a part of him feared that he didn’t have a choice.

And, besides, it was easier to say that Hellions were just naturally bad, wasn’t it? So that’s what Tango did.

Besides, this will all be taken away in less than a month. They didn’t have long together, so why waste it getting attached? If he got rid of her now, it wouldn’t hurt at all! Nuh uh, not at all. Because Tango was smart, and he didn’t willingly let his heart be commandeered by a baby. No, not at all, this whole thing right here was voluntary.

It didnt pain him to think of how much it would hurt for her to be gone. It absolutely didn’t tear him up inside thinking about how bad she’d miss him. And it definitely, under no circumstances, made him want to throw away everything he’s ever believed in for his entire life to just try being a father.

Because then he’d be bat-shit ridiculous.

Flicker chirped at him to get his attention, and unintentionally stop him from spiraling. Another noise added to her roster of sounds copied from the avian. He brushed his thumb over her impossibly soft cheek.

Flick leaned into the touch, finally allowing her eyes to dip and fall back asleep. Soft, repetitive breaths made her chest go up and down at this slow pace. Her whole body rumbled with a purr.

The Hellion could sit there for as long as he’d like and pretend like he didn’t care, but his entire body responded to her very being. There was an old, familiar sound that clawed in his throat. It begged to be let out just for once. It was a purr. So distantly familiar yet so closely strange, he couldn’t decide if he should let himself go that much. He hated making sounds like that.

He hated making sounds that made him sound like a wild beast.

But there was this voice in the back of his head that begged. He was gonna regret letting himself get this… endeared to such a small thing anyway. Might as well give what his heart desires for this very short moment in time while Jimmy showers.

And, even though Tango knew this was a horrible idea, he allowed himself to purr for the first time in probably a decade. It was an old thing, rusty and bumpy like an old car. His voice was so used to holding it back, it almost felt relieving when he just let it happen. He kept quiet, though, because he knew he’d get way too loud if completely unchecked. And the Hellion despised the sound, even when it felt so damn right. The very noise was everything that was wrong with Hellions.

But if Tango didn’t stop, and let himself purr and purr to her, putting her into a very deep, very relaxed sleep, that was for him to know. If Tango completely encircled her small body even more than he already was, and flicked his tail back and forth in this repetitive pattern, that was for him to know. And if Tango felt more at peace than he had in years, that was for him to know.

And him alone.

Chapter Text

“It’s okay, I didn’t mind looking after her yesterday. Flick’s an angel, you know, if you ignore the normal baby stuff,” Jimmy soothed, rubbing the back of a very exasperated Hellion.

Tango had been trying to convince Jim all morning to take a break today and see his other friends. Since they couldn’t have a babysitter, or at least, they thought they couldn’t, Tango was willing to spend some nice alone time with the baby. Of course, what he didn’t tell Jimmy was that one of the reasons he wanted some alone time was so he could cuddle her all he wanted without feeling embarrassed.

Tango felt like he owed it to the avian, after the full day of taking care of her all by himself. All just for the Hellion to screw off to code in his redstone cave and come home early because of X. Though, he never told Jimmy that, because he knew Jim would do something about it.

Was it a surprise that Tango didn’t like certain types of confrontation? Specifically calling out a friend for doing something bad?

Of course, Jimmy was being too stubborn, and especially too nice. He insisted that it wasn’t a big deal and he just wanted to be with his boyfriend. Tango could’ve sworn he almost said family. But, even then, Jimmy looked like he felt guilty for leaving, and the Hellion hated for Jim to feel guilty.

“You’re not leaving us or anything! I just don’t want you to be too worn out. Plus, you need to go outside, and especially somewhere warm,” Tango pushed, watching Jimmy shake his head. He gingerly rocked himself back and forth on the sofa while Flicker drank her morning bottle.

“I really don’t mind, Tango. You’re making this seem like I did you a massive favor. What you have yet to consider is that I like taking care of Flick,” The Avian tisked, lightly swatting Tango in the face with the back of his wing. Tango spluttered and groaned, his mind desperately trying to find a way to convince the avian to just take a break.

“I know you like it! I like it too!” The Hellion blurted, “but we all need breaks, you know? I’ve had mine, now it’s time you have yours.”

Jimmy’s eyes widened at Tango’s tone. A pink flush spread all over his cheeks, and his mouth hung agape. Flicker babbled at him, but he didn’t respond, instead staring right at the shorter man.

The Hellion had this incredulous look upon his face and he raised an eyebrow, “What now?”

“That was hot,” Jimmy immediately replied, causing Tango to choke on his own spit. A fire on his scalp ignited as he coughed and quickly extinguished when he was done.

He cleared his throat before speaking again, “Pardon-?”

“That was really hot,” Jimmy said again, with so little hesitation, Tango wondered if the other man was joking. Flick finished her bottle and whimpered a little at the lack of attention.

“Wha- how?” The Hellion implored, approaching Jim with his hands on his hips.

“I like it when you’re all assertive, Mr. Tango Tek,” He explained, this evil little smirk splitting on his face. Tango groaned, taking Flick from the other man’s arms. Jim whined, but Tango didn’t listen.

He instead strode over to the crib to give Flicker her Jellie. She happily took it, holding onto it with her small fists. She basically lived with the thing, never really content until Jellie was in her arms. Tango wondered what would happen if she met the real Jellie. If she ever met her, Tango reminded himself.

“I don’t understand you sometimes, you know. You’re pretty weird,” Tango poked, causing an offended scoff to erupt from the avian. He sat up and stomped over to the Hellion to slap him on the back of the head.

“Weird? I am not!” Jimmy exclaimed, crossing his arms, “When I take your last name and change my name to Jimmy Tek, you can’t make fun of me anymore!”

Tango’s brain short-circuited once he heard that statement for two big reasons. One of those reasons was the simple fact that Jim would want to marry him and take his last name. That in and of itself would be enough to send the Hellion into a coma. He would, truthfully, love to marry his boyfriend. The other reason was that he didn’t actually have a last name.

“Jimmy Tek?” The Hellion asked, a subtle blush spreading across his face.

“Yea? Would you… not want that?” He asked, suddenly looking a little worried. His eyebrows knitted together and his wings tucked against his back. Tango shook his head, his eyes going wide and his stomach dropping.

“No- I’d like that! I’d like that a lot, actually,” Tango quickly amended, “but uh… I don’t have a last name.”

He walked over to Jimmy to place his free hand on the avian’s waist. Flicker softly cooed at them both, reaching up to their faces. Jim looked like he wanted to melt into the domestic bliss, but was too confused to let go.

“You uh… don’t have a last name? Isn’t your name Tango Tek?” He asked, looping his arms around the shorter male’s neck.

“Well, it is TangoTek, but ‘Tango’ and ‘Tek’ aren’t separate. TangoTek is my full first name. Tango is just a nickname. I’d have to be TangoTek Solidarity, hun,” The Hellion smiled, running his hand up Jim’s side and up to cup his face. He brushed the avian’s lower lip with his thumb.

“I.. uh… didn’t know that,” Jimmy whispered, glancing down at the Hellion’s lips, and for a split second they stayed there. Tango then pecked the other man’s lips before sauntering off, baby in arms. Jimmy made another offended scoff at the lackluster kiss.

“How about this; if you go out and relax with your friends today, I’ll give you a nice kiss when you come back,” Tango smirked, swishing his tail underneath Jimmy’s nose. The avian sneezed and ruffled his feathers. Sighing, he planted his hands in his waist.

“Alright… fine. But only if you swear the kiss will be good,” The avian mumbled, walking over to the closet and digging through the few clothes he brought from Empires. Tango silently pumped his fists in the air.

“You won’t regret this,” Tango smirked, walking up behind the taller man to slide a hand across his bare chest the second he took off his shirt. Jim swatted his hand away, but the Hellion could see his lighthearted smile despite the avian trying to hide it.

—

Waving Jimmy off, the Hellion watched the beautiful frosty sky as his boyfriend flew away. Tango didn’t have to see his face to know the man was smiling bigger than ever. Jim needed this, even if he refused to admit it. Honestly, the avian could be just as bad, sometimes worse, than Tango. Flicker whined and reached out at the shrinking silhouette.

Tango simply kissed her forehead and walked back inside of the Citadel. It felt so strange not having Jimmy around, even though he’d spent a lot of yesterday being alone. His footsteps echoed and bounced off of the walls. Flicker held her Jellie tightly and stared up at him with these wonder-filled eyes.

Tango felt as though he should say something. Anything. It was odd being so quiet for so long without anyone near. Well, he supposed Flicker counted, but still. He cleared his throat, the sound earning a small click of acknowledgement.

“It’s just me and you, Flick, all by ourselves today. That’s alright! We’re gonna go get some redstone in the shopping district, huh?” He asked, tickling her stomach and feeling his heart melt at the sound of her laugh. She clicked again, and Tango didn’t catch himself doing it back.

He bumped open the door to his room with his hip and he strut into the open space. Glancing at their messy bed, he made mental note to make it later. After all, his bed was rather extravagant, so it looked a bit odd all disorganized like that. Jim sometimes called his bed a ‘princess bed’ with its canopies. The Hellion just liked feeling fancy.

He kissed Flicker’s face again and brought her close to his. She still smelled like that sweetness of ash and fire from the nether. Surprisingly, it was an amazing smell.

Though, he did admit, she needed a bath. Which was fine, but he’d have to learn how to better bathe her since Jimmy was always more skilled. He walked into the bathroom, admittedly much more dirty considering they almost never left Tango’s room. Placing Flicker on the counter, Tango began removing her Jellie onesie.

She whined and tried to wiggle away, not liking the cold air on her skin. Tango laughed, moving one of his hands to pinch the skin on the back of her nape. She almost instantly relaxed with this dazed little expression. Flick needed to stop making the Hellion’s heart twist every three seconds.

“Aw, Flick,” he whispered, placing the onesie off to the side, “you’re so damn cute. I can’t with you.”

He took off her diaper, tossing it aside and into the trashcan while grabbing a wipe to clean her, “You know, when I was a kid, my mom used to tell me that I had the cutest smile in the world,”

Tango didn’t know why he said that. Actually, he kinda wanted to take those words back. He knew what happened if he let himself go. He’d already had one severe panic attack this month, he didn’t need another. However, for some reason, he found himself still talking.

“She was a great woman. I wish you could’ve met her,” The Hellion huffed in vague amusement, turning on the faucet to the sink, “She would have loved you, you know. She’d like your name a lot.”

“Your name is older than our ancestors,”

“She said my name was special. But…” Tango whispered.

“Do you know why I chose it to be yours?”

“That was one of the many things she told me I learned not to believe. But enough about that, Flicker, how about we get you all clean? Water seems to be warm now,” He smiled, shaking off the memory with a swift redirection. Dipping her into the warm water, she seemed to relax more. Enough that Tango didn’t have to hold her nape. They had baby soap now, synthesized from Cub. The bottle had a note that said ‘Call us if you need anything’ when they got it.

Jimmy had insisted for a while that the Hellion was better at taking care of Flick. Of course, Tango was stubborn and disagreed. The avian argued he knew ‘all of the Hellion life hacks’, which Tango supposed was fair. Despite all of that, Tango still felt like the inferior ‘Foster Parent’.

But Flick seemed to be so relaxed by the warm water, she dozed off right in the middle of her bath. Which Tango didn’t complain about, since it made his job so much easier. He lifted her from the water and placed her in a nice, fluffy towel. The little Hellion stirred slightly, but easily fell back asleep in her comfort. Tango carefully brushed a hand over her head and through her sparse hair. He wondered if he’d ever see it ignite. Probably not for a while since her scalp was nowhere near ready for any fire.

He took a clean diaper and slipped it on her, before picking her up into his arms.

He brought her back to the main part of his room, still wrapped in thick towels, and picked out an outfit for her to where. Jimmy was much better at dressing her, in his opinion, but he’d obviously have to do. Rummaging through a small chest of clothes, graciously made by the other hermits at the start of the server lockdown, the Hellion struggled to find something nice enough to wear out. Most of them were onesies and Flick’s favorite one, the Jellie onesie, was dirty.

“What do you think, Flick? Cleo made a nice flower one that we haven’t worn yet. Actually… maybe I should make you wear the ladybug one,” He spoke out loud, pulling out said onesie, “because it’s red. And we’re getting redstone later today. We haven’t worn that one either.”

She whined and wiggled in the blankets, finding a more comfortable spot. Tango smiled, brushing his thumb against her cheek.

“I bet you think I’m crazy with how much I talk to myself,” He began, before his mind already took him elsewhere, “Who do you think made this onesie? I remember it was someone we didn’t expect.”

Tango thought for a moment, recalling all of the visitors over the past week or so. His brain tried to sift through the weirdly fuzzy memories. He didn’t realize these past few days had been such a blur. He snapped his fingers together in realization and quickly began to dress the baby by unwrapping her from her towels.

“It was Etho who made it! Jim was so surprised, and I was too. I mean- who knew Etho could sew? But that’s a pretty Etho thing to do, you know? Be able to sew and not tell anyone until it mattered. Very Etho,” the Hellion rambled, buttoning up the outfit and seeing how it looked on Flick. The whole shebang fit wonderfully, and it looked decently professional. Damn, Etho could really sew, huh? Who knew.

“Alright, baby girl, let’s get me some breakfast, and then make like a tree and leaf,” He said, holding her securely in his arms and ambling out of his quarters. Tango could almost feel the side eye from Flicker.

“Hey! You’re a baby, so you can’t judge me!” He exclaimed, strutting down the stairs before pausing and quickly adding, “I can’t believe I’m arguing with a baby.”

He walked through the rooms and hallways silently, only listening to Flickers small noises towards her Jellie plush. He felt this weird need to just keep talking to her. He sighed, meandering into the kitchen and placing her into her new and improved high chair. She couldn’t sit up yet without support, so they needed to redo some of the woodwork.

He slipped her into the chair and just admired her and she admired him. They looked at each other, and this familiar feeling stirred in his chest. He remembered staring other Hellions in the eyes and just knowing how they got there, how they felt, and how they hurt. He just knew, and he hoped she knew that he cared.

But there was something else, a certain “L” word that fit too well but scared Tango too much to say.

Walking over and observing the pantry, Tango took note off all they had to offer. And, considering what he had a week prior, he had a lot. Issue was, the Hellion couldn’t cook. All of those years in the nether taught him to eat whatever was put in front of him, the second it was put in front of him. Didn’t matter what it was or what it tasted like, that’s just how it had to be.

So, as he usually did, he got some fruit and some bread and set out to make plain toast with a side of sweetness. He was just going to the Shopping District. How much food did he need? Honestly?

Waiting for the toast to, well, toast, Tango heard a series of clicks in his direction. He absentmindedly clicked back, not bothering to look at the source of sound, but now, he caught it and cringed at the noise. He turned, faced with a very happy looking baby Hellion. He could almost forgive himself for making such nasty sounds if it made her so happy.

But, her vocalization worked, and Flicker effortlessly took Tango’s attention. Not like she had to try that hard, anyway.

“Yea, Flick, what’s up?” He asked, stepping over and softly pinching her cheek. She giggled and held her arms out like she wanted up. Tango shook his head, watching her eyes grow a little more desperate.

“No, hun, I’m about to eat. I’ll pick you up later,” the Hellion whispered, thinking that she was a hella expressive three month old baby. He didn’t know if that was normal, to be honest, but what was normal for Hellions, anyway?

The toaster shot two slightly burnt pieces of dry whole grain bread. Tango turned to get it, scratching off some of the black carbon from the edges with his claw. Sitting down next to Flick, she stared at the meal carefully like it was an animal ready to attack. Tango huffed out an endeared laugh and chomped onto the slice. It was dry, very dry, and even more flavorless. Maybe he should’ve put butter on it, but that was what the fruit was for, right?

He took a bite of a pear and bite of toast one after another and noted that he didn’t like the taste. But he wasn’t a food waster, for obvious reasons, so he just dealt with it. In his mind, it was his fault for choosing a food combo that he didn’t like. Flick clicked at him again, and he clicked back. He couldn’t remember the last time he’s done that.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d made so many clicks before, he meant.

“I wonder what Jimmy is doing right now. I bet he’s already at Grian’s base bothering him,” Tango mumbled, watching Flick’s eyes travel all around the kitchen, looking at every doodad and whatsit.

It wasn’t sudden, the need to just ramble to the baby, but it was creeping. Just staring at Flicker’s face made him want to teach her everything he knew. Tell her everything he could. It wasn’t sudden, but, Stars, did it get overwhelming.

“When I was a kid,” Tango began, not bothering to think of the consequences his story might bring, “my dad used to hit me and my mom a lot.”

He didn’t know why he said that. He has never said it out loud before. He’s known, for Stars knows how long, but never had he spoken those words. His body tensed when he heard himself. Tango felt his heart begin to beat a little faster.

“I never wanted to be him, and for awhile, I thought I never would,” He whispered, standing up from the table and picking up his plate and walking to the sink, “but I did something once way back when I was in the nether. I kinda… never forgave myself for it. I just… I wanted to do the right thing. But I hurt people. I suppose…”

He trailed off, staring at his clean plate shimmering underneath the rushing water. Tango’s hands shook as they gently scrubbed the shiny surface. He breathed in and out in a deep, habitual pattern. He eased his body a little and looked behind him. Flicker was there staring at him.

“I suppose that’s why you can’t stay. Hub will treat you decently well, I’m sure. I just never want to risk ever hurting you,” he concluded, drying off his hands and scooping Flick back into his arms. A part of him mourned at how well she fit in his grasp. She’d be gone.

And he couldn’t hold her one day.

No. He couldn’t think like that.

“Hey, let’s go get ready to depart, okay? We gotta get some redstone stat,” he declared loudly, slipping out of the kitchen and into the hallways. Flicker always looked like she wanted to talk back. It kinda hurt knowing Tango would never know what she was thinking in that head of hers.

—

The wind blew all around them and Tango made sure to cover the baby better. It howled in their face, demanding to be seen, demanding to be feared. But Tango was not scared. In his defiant retaliation, he simply attached the harness that Keralis had brought them per Xisuma’s request.

‘Shishwammy said to make one for ya if you guys ever needed to travel by elytra with her! Said you gave him a scare the day you got her,’

He put on the elytra and softly patted Flicker’s head. Tango sighed thinking about X. The stress he’d been experiencing because of that guy was immense. It felt like the admin didn’t care. That he was too bothered with everyone else to even consider the Hellion. And staring down at the snowy, icy ground, hundreds of feet below the balcony he stood on now, felt a little too familiar. From points in his life when there was no way out, not one up or down, because there was a roof.

But he wouldn’t do that anymore because he had a fam-

He had a boyfriend, friends, and a baby. A baby that would not be staying, specifically.

“Aviator Flicker, it’s time for take off!” Tango exclaimed, his voice an octave deeper and with a silly inflection, “But, before that, I’m going to need to take your Jellie.”

She whined when he took the plush from her and materialized it into his inventory. She pat her head, adjusting the harness and tightening the straps around the precious cargo.

“I know, I know, but you could drop her while we fly! You’ll get her back soon, Flick. For now, though, you’re gonna have to wear a little cap!” Tango smiled, his voice an endeared coo. She didn’t mind the aviator’s cap placed on her head, or the pointy-ear shaped earmuffs, or the tiny goggles Pearl gave them to protect her eyes. Pearl said that they were from her dogs when they were puppies, because they liked to swim. Now, they were meant to protect Flicker’s little red eyes.

Tango knew he shouldn’t, but he took a picture of her, making sure to not include himself, and sent it to Jimmy. It was immediately after he sent it that he got a message from Jimmy.

SolidarityGaming: OM GOODNESS OENDHNWKWNSNDN SHES SO CUTE!!!!!!

Tango almost laughed audibly at Jim’s reaction. The Hellion double checked Flick’s headgear and harness before telling himself that she’ll be fine. He shook his back and felt the elytra unfurl and expand into its fullest span.

He took in a breath of icy cold air and dived off of his balcony. The wind bit his cheeks and one of his hands found itself guarding whatever wasn’t covered on Flicker’s face. Time slowed as he fell quicker. It felt amazing to fall. Tango wished he could fall forever, never ever hitting the ground. Once, he fell into the void on purpose back in season 8.

It was the most free he’d ever felt.

But he lit his rocket and felt himself shoot back up into a steady flight. Flicker was silent, which was a kinda good thing. At least she wasn’t crying. Another rocket, and he was steadily making his way over to the Shopping District.

The ground wizzed past him, blending from white to green, and the air grew warmer. Birds soared, wind sang, clouds danced, and the trees waved hello to both of them. The Hellion could feel his heart swell with this pride knowing that he existed in a dimension as beautiful as this one. Tango often wondered what the over world even wanted from the nether. Why did they even take that much when they already had enough?

Enough of that. He should be grateful, now should he?

Tango loved gazing and admiring the mega bases of his friends. In the week or so he’d spent in the Citadel with Jim and Flick, everyone seemed to have tremendous progress. Maybe that was because almost all contact from the outside was cut. How was X doing? He seemed so tired yesterday-

Tango blinked rapidly and then sucked in a breath, trying to squeeze the admin out of his mind. How could Xisuma always weasel his way into the Hellion’s psyche?

He came across Grian’s base, which looked absolutely divine currently. It looked to almost be done by now. Though, and he did note this, Mumbo’s base seemed to look the same as it did a couple of weeks ago. Though, maybe Tango was crazy. He had been taking care of a baby nonstop for a couple of days.

He flew for a few more minutes, one hand firmly on Flicker and the other lighting the rockets. By the time he got to the market, it was late afternoon. He hadn’t realized how long it had taken him to simply go through the day with Flick along with him. He wondered when Jimmy would try to arrive back home.

Tango landed on the ground, feet thudding into the earth with violent velocity. His arms completely encircled Flick, just in case she ever got hurt. After skidding for a solid three seconds, he deduced that to be the worst landing he’s ever done. Embarrassing.

He brushed himself off and quickly looked down to check up on Flicker. She didn’t seem hurt, but her eyes were wide and had this shock swimming in them. The Hellion had once heard that fish could go into shock and die if you bothered them too much. A wave of anxiety washed over him.

Did he kill his baby-?

Flicker. Not his baby.

He rubbed her head, and Flick’s eyes lit up with these sparkles of wonder and she laughed aloud. Tango felt her feet, which were dangling out of the carrier, kick his stomach in her excitement. The Hellion couldn’t help but laugh too. He softly pinched her cheek and began walking through the district, waving his hand to get rid of his elytra into his inventory and to summon Flick her Jellie back. She immediately took it, clicking at the plushy in a happy greeting. Tango’s heart squeezed with adoration.

His communicator beeped.

SolidarityGaming: Hey! I’ll be home in like- two ish hours?

SolidarityGaming: Maybe… idk

SolidarityGaming: I’ll see lol.

Ah, yes, Tango needed to hurry. He should probably get his errands done before Jimmy started heading home, so, the Hellion made haste towards the redstone shop with baby in hand. Well- baby in baby carrier because he needed both of his.

He weaved through the shops, taking note of some he’d need to shop at later. If he wasn’t on a bit of a time crunch, he would be taking Flicker on one hell of a field trip. Tango kinda loved being in the shopping district. All of the stores were so unique and creative, and a part of him adored to see all of it. That was one of the best parts about Hermitcraft, wasn’t it? All of the people and their genius brains? Tango sometimes wished he was as good as them. Sure, he programmed games, but in his eyes that was nothing compared to other people.

But maybe he was being hypocritical.

The dirt underneath his feet crunched. The sky whistled and Flicker was holding onto her Jellie. It was a little weird walking around with Flick and not being impaired to live with only one arm. In the distance, breaking Tango’s train of thought, Scar’s redstone shop came into view. Standing above the skyline imposed a large marble building topped with a teal roof. The intricate architecture always made Tango jealous. Like- how could you make something so cool looking for a shop? Just a shop and not even your base? The Hellion had never been blessed with an ability like that.

Approaching the structure, Tango knew he was about to lose some diamonds. He sighed, and pushed through the wooden doors. A cold, frigid gust of air slammed him in the face, and his skin prickled in response to the AC winds.

The interior was neat and clean, the walls lined with chests he presumed were filled with good quality redstone implements. Decadent chandeliers hung over head. And Flicker looked at herself in the reflection of the polished tiles. These imposing statues of women with blindfolds over their eyes were placed on the opposite wall of the entrance. Striding over to the chest with raw redstone, he got his diamonds ready.

He pulled out a small sack of redstone powder. Sticking his hand into the bag, he took a pinch of the stuff and rubbed it between his fingers. Oh yea, this was high quality stuff. It was as fine as baby powder, and by now, Tango was an expert on how to tell if something was high quality. And he could feel the electricity buzz through his skin. When you used redstone, whether it was to be a power source or to be infused with wires, you need it to be as powdery and as fine as possible. But, no matter what you did, the dust would have larger chunks of stone simply due to the rock’s nature.

However Scar processed this redstone, it was miracle work, because Tango was about to steal whatever system he had.

“Good quality stuff, huh?” A voice said beside him. Tango jumped, dropping the bag to the floor and watching a small cloud of dust poof from its contents.

“Shilho-!” Tango cursed in Hellspeak, flailing his arms in the air before protectively shielding Flicker away from the other man. His scalp burst into a vicious flame and a violent snarl ripped through his throat.

He was face to face with a very familiar mustached man who looked beyond bewildered. Tango felt sick. He just growled at Mumbo Jumbo, the nicest man on the server. God, he should have never allowed himself to make all of those disgusting Hellion noises to begin with. Even if they were for Flick. Because now his body was getting too used to it.

And the weirdest and worst part? Tango had never been snuck up on before. It went against his biology. So why on earth, HOW on earth, did Mumbo Jumbo of all people sneak up on him? Why didn’t the fur on the back of his neck stand on end? Why didn’t he feel his skin prickle with protectiveness before Mumbo even said anything?

Why didn’t his body do what it was supposed to do?

—-//—-///—-//—-

Hellion Biology Lesson 24: A Hellion’s ‘Super’ Sense

Due to the volatile nature of the nether, Hellions have developed an extraordinary ability to detect another life force out of their line of sight.

This ability has been heavily documented, and yet, the origin of this power has yet to be completely understood. There are many theories, of course.

One being that, like humans, this ability first came about way back when Hellions weren’t as evolved. Similar to how humans came from ape-like hominids, Hellions once derived from a quadrupedic species of nether creature. This species was characterized by their thick yellow fur all over their body that could ignite like the modern Hellion’s hair.

This species was theorized to make themselves seem bigger by allowing their hair to stand up. This later was thought to have become the ability that Hellion’s possess today.

Hellions only do this if a living creature is out of their line of sight and close enough to be sensed. This is because, in a place like the nether, unless you have a different way to defend yourself, you will not survive if you are not vigilant 24/7. And while Hellions are not weak by any means, in fact they are quite ferocious, their body structure proves to be incredibly vulnerable.

Some speculate that this fur phenomenon came to be back in the species’ past when they were nomadic in groups. This occurrence would then serve as a wake up alarm if any predator tried to attack them while the pack slept. This is, of course, is an unpopular theory, because many over world scientists believe that Hellion’s are naturally solitary. Despite any conflicting theories of its origin, this phenomenon occurs regardless. This ability is often called a ‘Hellion’s Intuition’.

While it may not be possible to get rid of his aspect of Hellions, some cross-species specialists have proposed ways to repress certain Hellion attributes that are less than savory; one of them being a Hellion’s Intuition. One proposition to fix this behavior was to provide them with a safe enough environment to decrease a Hellion’s need to stay alert. Another proposition is to simply perform classical conditioning similar to Pavlov’s Dog to reduce the behavior.

—-//—-///—-//—-

“…Ive never seen you jump like that, Tango,” Mumbo mumbled, his eyes blown wide and his mouth still agape. His arms were extended out in some sort of gesture to calm him down. Tango almost felt like Mumbo was trying to calm down a rabid dog.

The Hellion’s stomach twisted.

“I- sorry- I didn’t mean to growl at you. That was horrible, I’m sorry, please don’t-“ Tango paused, hearing a small whimper from Flicker. His worries about his own civilization went out the window because his eyes locked on her small form. Did Tango scare her by growling? Gosh, he was so stupid- what was he thinking? Why did he ever think she liked him? She couldn’t like him, no, no way. Not when he treated her like this-

“She uh… dropped her little plushie,” the mustached man mumbled, crouching to pick up the small thing and handing it back to her.

Tango ran his fingers through his flames, trying to ease them, despite his racing heart. Taking in a deep breath, his scalp turned to a steady simmer and then into normal hair. He was an absolute mess.

“I’m sorry, man. That was-“ Tango tried to apologize, but Mumbo interrupted him.

“It’s okay, really,” the taller man soothed, waving his hands in the air, “I’m just glad I finally get to see you. We’ve uhm… we’ve missed you and Jim a lot.”

Tango furrowed his brow, he quickly picked up the satchel of redstone that he’d dropped. The Hellion looked away, and at the chest, opening it back up and shoveling a large quantity of the satchels into his inventory, “Yea… well, we’ve been a little busy,”

He grimaced at how harsh he sounded and quickly cleared his throat. He turned to the taller man and ran a hand down his face, “Sorry, I didn’t mean… I don’t know,”

“It’s fine, I get it,” Mumbo began, noticing Flicker more and furrowed his brows, “Did she always have orange hair?”

Tango smiled, a little too giddy that someone noticed her hair, “No, her hair changed.”

Mumbo still looked confused, but nodded nonetheless, taking not of the Hellion’s tone of voice when he said that. The mustached man probably assumed it was a good thing.
Which it was.

Tango dug around in his pockets for a little searching for his money. Mumbo watched as he got out his diamonds and he held out his hands, “Wait,”

Tango glanced at the human in this incredulous way. Flick clicked at Mumbo to get his attention. The mustached man’s eyes flickered down to the baby and they swam with a specific fondness. It was then that Tango noticed just how tired he looked. Mumbo had this worn down appearance; his suit was dirty and unkempt and the circles under his eyes were incredibly dark.

“Let me pay,” He smiled, taking out his own diamonds and placing them in the chest. The Hellion raised his eyebrows in surprise and he shook his head.

“No, seriously, I can pay for it, Mumbo. I’d feel bad,” Tango whispered, placing a hand on the other man’s shoulder. Mumbo just smiled at him.

“C’mon, Tango, It’s my treat to you. For uh… taking care of this little one,” the mustached man shrugged, offering the baby a finger to grab. Flicker took it and look up at him with curious eyes.

They allowed the silence to marinate for a short moment.

Tango’s mind swam with this guilt that had been building over these few days. Every single damn hermit on this server put so much effort into making life easier for the two men, and what did he have to show for that? Staying in the Citadel for days? Never paying them any time? To be fair, no one ever stayed long enough for a meaningful conversation, but still.

Mumbo was just one example of everyone being so kind. Tango could take care of everything himself! He didn’t need this help. He felt like such a damn burden. But Tango caught a glimpse from Mumbo’s eyes that told him the human had something very important to say. And that almost made the Hellion want to barf.

“Hey, uh… do you wanna talk? Like, not here, obviously, but somewhere else?” Mumbo asked, his eyes shying away from the Hellion’s and locking on the floor. His hands shook a bit as he fiddled. Tango’s face dropped a bit, but he regained some composure.

“Uh- yea. Yea, we can,” He replied, cocking his head to the side a little, and watching Mumbo’s hesitant smile. Another beat of silence permeated between them. Then Mumbo slowly began to walk for the door, beckoning Tango to follow.

—

“This makes no sense!” Tango shouted, burying his face into his arms. His back was hurting, he was sweating, and if he thought any harder, he’d get a migraine. His hands were covered in a thick coat of the redstone dust which had stuck to his hands due to the moisture.

Mumbo chuckled, working on something far more complicated than the dinky little machine Tango was working on. His hands worked methodically, like they knew every in and out of the materials he was using. He was making some tick-speed-comparator-observer-something or other.

“It wont for a long time, Tango, but it will eventually. You have that redstoner look to you, you know?” Mumbo smiled, wiping the sweat from his brow and leaning back on his hands as they sunk into the soil. Tango flicked his tail back and forth, and stared at the red mess in front of him.

He sighed, collapsing onto the floor behind him and gazing at the forever up sky above. So beautifully blue and perfect. In his short time here, he’s learn to adore the look of clouds. They looked so unbelievably soft. A little part of him wanted to sleep on one.

“What does it mean to look like redstoner?” the Hellion asked, rubbing his hands together to try and remove the coat of redstone dust. He ended up shocking himself due to all the static electricity. He forgot that redstone was hella conductive.

“Well, you got that look in your eye. You strike me as a person who thinks too much. I think way too much, too. People scare me a little. So… I think I compensate with something that requires me to use all of my brain power,” Mumbo explained, tucking his knees to his chest and resting both of his arms on top, “Maybe that would help you, y’know?”

Tango took awhile to respond, staring at the man in a suit for a while so he could translate the sentence in his head. He eventually hummed in acknowledgment, sitting back up from his mini-temper tantrum.

“I guess…” He mumbled, sighing again, smudging some redstone on his face to scratch his skin. He glanced at Mumbo and followed his gaze back up to the clouds.

“How do the clouds fly?” the Hellion asked, watching Mumbo’s dark brown eyes dart over to meet his for a moment. He had this look of almost amazement, maybe honor, before looking away and back to the pillowy clouds.

“Clouds are uh… they’re water that evaporate and condenses into a big ol’ collection of millions of water droplets. That’s what clouds are,” Mumbo explained so causally like the words he said weren’t the most complex and confusing things Tango had ever heard.

Maybe the confusion was too clear on the Hellion’s face because Mumbo looked a little guilty and cleared his throat, “Okay, so, when water gets hot enough it turns into gas. Then, that gas floats into the sky. When it gets into the sky, it cools down back into water, but the water is still light enough to float there. Then, when it gets heavy enough, it falls to the ground as rain.”

Tango nodded, taking in the much more digestible words easier. He observed their imposing form and then had another question.

“What is rain?”

“Oh gosh,” Mumbo stammered, obviously trying to find the best way to explain the concept, “basically, it’s when water falls from the sky.”

Tango raised a brow and pressed his lips into a thin line, “Like a shower?”

“Yea, kinda like a big shower,”

Silence.

Tango fiddled with his claws, watching the subtle static buzz in between them. He began working again on the little light switch. It was a lever, a lamp, and a ton of redstone dust. It was difficult to work the dust into how he wanted it.

Getting more dust, he put more around the base of the lever, watching the electricity begin to flow into the tiny device. Then, he dusted the base of the lamp and flicked on the lever halfheartedly, not expecting it to turn on.

To his surprise, it did.

The light shined in his face and warmed his skin. Mumbo’s attention immediately was caught and his eyes filled with pride.

Tango sucked in a breath as this instant thrill shot through his whole body. It was like adrenaline but a million times better. It was everything that building and designing and walking wasn’t. All it was, was a lamp. A lamp. Just a simple lamp. And yet, it meant more to him than anything else.

This was it.

This was what he wanted to do.

“Look at you! Gosh, you picked redstone up pretty quick,” Mumbo praised, slapping an enthusiastic hand on Tango’s back. And despite his own excitement, Tango found Mumbo’s claim a little patronizing. He picked up redstone quick? Said the literal God of Redstone.

“What? No, you walk around as uh… a redstone father! Or uh… leader! Or- no… uh…” Tango exclaimed, waving his arms in the air, trying to remember the word.

“What? I’m no redstone master-“ Tango interrupted Mumbo at the reminder.

“Yes, master! You are the redstone master!” Tango argued, feeling the irritation at the human’s humbleness begin to stir on his scalp.

“I really am not, I mean, there are millions more people who are better at redstone than me,” Mumbo laughed, shaking his head in good nature. The Hellion was a little more frustrated as Mumbo had no idea, did he?

“You compliment me with that voice, and I don’t believe you. I did not learn quick about the redstone,” Tango huffed, raising an annoyed eyebrow and feeling his scalp begin to simmer, preparing to ignite.

“But you really did, man. You learned very quick,” the human insisted, flinching when the Hellion’s hair ignited. He looked worried but Tango didn’t notice.

He wasn’t angry, and that was obvious to him, so he thought it would be obvious for the human too. In his eyes, all of the over world people were so smart, so they had to know he wasn’t upset with them, right?

“I do not agree. It was three hours,” Tango grumbled, sighing. Maybe his relaxed nature, although irritated, put the human less on edge. Mumbo then softly smiled.

“You do realize Tango,” Mumbo spoke in this all-knowing way, “that it took me twice as long to turn on my first redstone lamp, right?”

Tango’s head perked up at that and almost looked shocked. He supposed, maybe, he had misinterpreted Mumbo’s previous statement.

“I… I did not realize,” He replied, pressing his lips back into a thin line.

“We all start somewhere, you know? I mean, you learned two-ish weeks ago about eggs. It’s pretty impressive that not only can you speak English pretty dang well, but also you learned how to work with redstone much quicker than I did,” the human sighed, eyes trailing back up to the darkening sky. A soft rumble could be heard in the distance and Tango jumped. The sun was surrounded by dark gray clouds and the forever up sky turned to an ash color.

“What was that-?!” He exclaimed, his fire worsening. Panic overwhelmed him, and his body went into this fight or flight. He wanted to run. Was the sky turning to ash? Mumbo smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

“That, my fiery friend,” he whispered, “is rain,”

Tango looked up, and felt a drop of water hit his cheek. It slightly sizzled due to the heat of his body at the moment, given his hair was all ember-y right now. Then another drop. And another. And then a shower of water that sizzled in his hair and on his skin.

The soft smell of wet earth filled his nostrils and the sound of the water hitting the soil consumed his whole being. The gray ashy sky didn’t seem scary anymore. His hair fizzled out.

And for a very brief moment, things felt peaceful.

“I like the rain,” Tango whispered, “and uhm… thank you for uh… teaching me,”

“Don’t worry about it. I know it was hard but… I hope you liked learning,” Mumbo replied, not needing to meet Tango’s eyes.

A comfortable silence settled between them.

“…I did,”

—

They walked for a bit in complete silence, only letting the earth speak for the both of them. The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. The trees stood above them both, their loving arms covered in beautiful flowers. Blooming buds along the ground were filled with so much color and vibrance.

The ground was now soft, their footsteps now gentle thuds. The grass billowed in the steady breeze, and the smell of earth and dew filled the Hellion’s nose. His heart slowed, and his body calmed. He’d been anxious this entire trek. Could you blame him with how Mumbo asked?

His thoughts had stirred and blurred into a whirlwind of bad and evil cruelty. But now, he could think clearly. He could try to keep himself together.

Around a small bend, was a clearing in the foliage that gave out to a large cliffside. The sun was now beginning to set and Mumbo’s form broke up the skyline. Underneath the cliff was a large lake that reflected the orange light of the sky.

“It’s beautiful out here,” Tango mumbled his hand on Flicker’s front. Mumbo nodded and sat down on the ledge, his eyes never leaving the setting suns visage.

“Yea,” the human replied, “I’ve been coming here a lot lately.”

Tango’s heart squeezed a bit, but he kept his mouth shut and simply sat next to him. Flicker babbled and cooed, hugging onto the Jellie tightly. They stared out onto the horizon for a little longer before Mumbo started up the conversation again.

“How has it been? Raising her? Even though you’re uh… not gonna keep her,” the human asked, glancing over to her before looking away quickly after.

“It’s uh… been a lot, I can’t lie. Jim needed a break today, so that’s why it’s just me and her,” Tango answered, unbuckling the baby harness. He slipped flicker out and placed her on his lap. He took the harness off and put it to the side.

“Really? You’ve been uh… sleeping and eating well right?” Mumbo asked, his eyes slowly making their way over to Tango’s.

“I guess I’ve been sleeping well enough,” the Hellion shrugged, watching Mumbo’s confusion on his face.

“What? Have you guys been like… wait- I’m so confused,” Mumbo sighed dragging his hands down his face, “Impulse and Zed said that it’d be best if we let you guys get settled and to give you space, and that you guys would reach out to us if you needed help. But you guys never did, so we kinda assumed you guys were fine but… by the sounds of it-“

“Wait- so when you guys came by for only a few minutes, and never stayed for longer, that was you trying to let us settle? I thought you guys wanted nothing to do with her! Or at least not enough to offer,” Tango spoke, his face beyond shocked.

This entire time? They were just waiting for him to ask? He thought he wasn’t allowed for Star’s sake! With how X was acting, he made it seem like no one was willing to help the admin nor the two new parents out!

“What? I thought Joe told you that we were here for you! Why didn’t you ever ask if it was hard?”

“Because I thought we weren’t allowed to!”

“Why wouldn’t you be allowed to?”

“Because X said-“

“Becuase X said?!” Mumbo exclaimed, leaving a long silence between them. Tango stared at the human and the human stare back. Flicker just darted her eyes back and forth curiously. She seemed to be nervous, and suddenly Tango felt incredibly bad for yelling. Mumbo seemed to feel similarly.

“Sorry… just know I’m not mad at you- I’m just a little overwhelmed at how much sense this is all making now. But like I was saying, because X said…what?” Mumbo implored, much more calmly this time.

“He… well… he made it seem like it was my responsibility alone to take care of her because I was a Hellion. I felt like,” he trailed off for a moment before quickly adding, “I felt like I was wrong for even feeling so stressed.”

“Right, well, I’m talking to Keralis ‘bout that,” Mumbo mumbled dead panning and getting out his communicator. The Hellion felt a surge of nerves shoot through him.

“What-? No! Wait, I don’t wanna make Xisuma upset,” he pleaded, his face beginning to heat up and his hair being at risk to ignite.

“Tango, I think you need to stop being such a damn good guy, alright?” Mumbo said, looking up from his screen for a brief moment before looking back down, “And just letting you know, Keralis has been trying to find a good enough excuse to force X out of his room for a week because he won’t listen. I know he loves us and he’s concerned for our safety on the server, but the security breach is not THAT bad. I think he’s just overworking himself for no reason.”

Tango sucked in a breath. Were things really that bad now? Everyone seems to be stressed out of their minds, getting no sleep, refusing to take care of themselves, because what? A baby appeared in their world? Maybe they were all over reacting a little bit. While Tango disagreed with Mumbo saying that the security breach itself wasn’t a huge issue, he did agree that X was acting like an absolute ass.

Maybe… maybe getting Papa K involved wasn’t the worst idea.

Mumbo looked back up from his communicator, having this ‘the deed is done’ look to his face. Tango felt like such a damn burden all the time; making people do the dirty work for him when he said that he was okay.

“I feel like this is a lot for a babysitter…” the Hellion mumbled, watching the humans eyes widen before shaking his head furiously.

“No, I do not agree, Tango. I know you think you can do this on your own, but you and Jim really do need a village to help, alright?” Mumbo spoke, his voice firm.

“But I don’t-“

“I know that you feel ridiculous right now. I did too… but… now not being allowed to leave, I know for sure I need my break more than ever. I’m just making up for it now because of these damn security measures,” the mustached man ranted, seeming more angry and animated than Tango had ever seen the usually soft-hearted man be.

“Is that why you haven’t worked on your base?” the Hellion pressed, watching Mumbo’s stern face soften at his delicate tone. He sighed, running a hand through his jet black hair.

“Yea… I just… I don’t know what to do. Everything I’ve done lately has felt so,” He paused to glance Tango in the eyes before quickly looking away, “empty.”

The Hellion turned his head away, his gut swimming with so much pity he knew Mumbo didn’t need. He just stared at Flicker so his eyes wouldn’t show it. Because he knew how it felt to be pitied.

“And then I got the courage to take a break. To go out into Hub and live life for a little while. To see the world outside,” He spoke, his voice watery yet so, so hopeful, “But then Flicker came… and I don’t blame her one bit, you know, it was never her fault. But I just felt so hopeless. Knowing my chances of being free for a bit from my own problems were put on hold.”

“I’m so sorry…” the Hellion mumbled, watching Mumbo shake his head and look directly into Tango’s eyes.

“Don’t be. Because I say this to tell you that no matter how much you do something,”

Tango felt his heart squeeze tightly. Mumbo’s gaze locked onto his with such intensity.

“Even if your instincts tell you to,”

Instincts? Tango didn’t have those. At least not the good kind. He’s seen that time and time again this last week.

“Even if you love it,” Mumbo began to whisper, “Even if you adore it,”

The human reached out and placed a hand on Tango’s shoulder. His dark brown eyes began to water a little and his voice began to shake.

“Everyone needs a break,”

Tango’s eyes widened as he felt a little part of his fractured heart, fractured from the years of abuse and fighting and trauma, mended. The feeling was like the tiniest pebble was lifted off of his chest, but lifted nonetheless. And he couldn’t stop himself from crying.

Hot tears ran down his face and plopped onto Flicker’s head, making her laugh. But Tango didn’t notice. All he could do was look Mumbo dead in the eyes in wonder.

Wondering how he ever deserved a friend like him.

And a little part of the Hellion told himself, that maybe Mumbo needed to hear that too.

“I-“ He stammered, quickly looking away to wipe his eyes, “Thank you-“

“It’s no problem, really,” Mumbo smiled, rubbing a small circle on the Hellion’s shoulder with the heel of his palm.

“I just…,” Tango began, not really thinking of what he was saying or why, “I’ve been feeling like everything I’m doing; I’m just doing it wrong. Like I’m messing her up more and more.”

“Why?” Mumbo pressed, looking almost astonished, “She looks great. Considering her orange hair and all,”

“Yea, well… Hellions just aren’t good parents. That’s just… how we are, I fear,” the Hellion explained, rubbing the back of his neck subconsciously for support.

“What? Sorry if I’m just constantly confused, but why are Hellions bad parents? It’s you don’t mind me asking, of course,” Mumbo pondered, his eyes hesitatingly turning back to the dusky sun to not put too much pressure on the other man.

“I’ve just seen it all before a million times,” Tango’s eyes began, earning an exhilarated glance from the mustached man, “I just don’t know for sure if it’s something I can change.”

Mumbo looked practically on fire at the mention of Tango’s past. Well, kinda, it wasn’t really his past. But even then, the Hellion knew how cagey he was. He knew that any amount of his lore was priceless to the hermits, but he honestly could not tell why.

“Well… uhm… what’s the something you don’t know you can change?” Mumbo asked, like he was walking on eggshells, which made Tango feel horrible for making the man feel anxious.

“My temper,” Tango hesitantly replied, continuously not sure if he could reveal more about himself, “I don’t ever want to risk snapping one day. I don’t ever want to hurt them, Mumbo. Or any of you, for that matter.”

The human almost looked a little baffled, like he didn’t think Tango even had a temper. Which, was an incorrect assumption. Because all Hellions did, right? Because if not- then his father did all of that for no other reason than-

No.

Mumbo almost looked at him like he was a wounded animal, “Tango, you don’t have to be scared about that. People can be fathers with tempers. It just matters how you control that sort of thing, you know?”

“I guess…” Tango replied, not believing a single word the human said. He didn’t believe because…

Mumbo didn’t know the truth. Not the whole truth, at least. And Tango prayed no one would.

This time, and uncomfortable silence slithered its way in between them, making Tango’s stomach churn. He prayed he wasn’t about to be sick on this cliffside.

The water shimmered softly in the setting sun’s gaze and the stars came out from hiding to bid them a hello. The trees framing the skyline looked black now, given that the moon was now starting to show. The waves hitting the rocky shore below was able to clear Tango’s mind enough for somewhat coherent thoughts.

Of all things Mumbo could try to convince him about, he had chosen the worst one. While Tango could maybe convince himself he deserved a break by getting someone to babysit, he knew for a fact that he didn’t deserve Flicker.

He didn’t even want it, to be clear. No sir, he did not want to be her dad. Even if sometimes it felt like he did, he knew the truth deep down. Hellion fathers never really want their children. It’s just obligation to make sure their bloodline survives. Because if Hellion fathers actually had the capacity to care, then not only his father, but all of the Hellion fathers out there had a choice. They all had a choice, and yet, here we were.

And that prospect hurt worse.

The silence was broken before anyone had a chance to break it first by Flicker yawning and nuzzling deeper into Tango’s arms. Mumbo smiled and brushed a hand against her head before quickly pulling away, “Sorry I didn’t ask-“

Tango laughed a little, “No it’s fine, she clearly didn’t mind at all.”

Mumbo sat there for another moment before clearing his throat. He stood up from the ground and brushed off the stray pieces of dead grass off of his suit. There were wet marks on his butt from the moisture of the soil which make Tango snicker a bit. Mumbo laughed too and offered Tango a hand.

The Hellion took it.

“Look, Tango,” the human began, “I have not a clue what goes on in that head of yours, but can I ask something of you?”

“Sure,” the shorter man replied.

“I want you to just give one of us measly hermits a call, okay? We’ll be there in a heartbeat to help out. And we won’t shy away this time and only stop by for a few minutes without elaborating, because thinking about that now, that was a dick move on our part,” Mumbo admitted his face turning a little guilty for a moment.

The human took his hand away and began walking off, slipping on his elytra. He paused for a moment before looked back at Tango, clearly debating on whether or not to say something.

“Tango… just… make sure she sleeps well, okay? And… for the record, I think you’re doing great. We all do,” Mumbo half- whispered, a genuinely soft smile tracing his lips.

And without another word, or glance back, Mumbo was off.

And Tango was glad he didn’t look back, because the mustached man would’ve seen him crying.

But that was for Tango to know.

And Tango alone.

—

By the time both of them got home, they were beyond exhausted.

Tango ambled his way into his storage system, listening to the clinks and clanks of the pistons and hoppers and mine carts. He opened his sorting chest and dumped his spoils into it without thinking all too much. Closing the chest started the sequence, and he waited there to make sure that it finished sorting completely.

While waiting, he had both arms wrapped around the baby carrier, and in turn, the sleeping baby against his chest. Tango yawned, listening to the sorting system get halfway done with his hypersensitive ears. Now, ten times more hypersensitive with his exhaustion.

Tango looked out of the window at the dusk sky. The stars were starting to fully show themselves. The Hellion recalled back to the day X came flying in to tell him about Jimmy’s visit. He remembered feeling excited. He remembered the admin being so kind and giving him a sack of different fruits.

He then remembered the apple he half-ate. Where was it now? Probably somewhere close to the window he threw it out of. Even in the cold, it was now most likely a rotten mush of brown. So gross and disgusting, only ever good when it was fresh and new.

Tango prayed Flicker would never be like that apple.

The sorting sequence beeped to indicate it was done, but Tango was honestly too lazy to check to make sure it was right. He simply wandered back off into the halls of his Citadel.

A few minutes later, and suddenly Tango was in his room. His mind was a blur of exhaustion from the emotional requirements of today. He sighed, and completely slipped off the harness. He took flick out of it and brought her over to the changing table. He effortlessly changed her dirty diaper, letting his hands and body go into a weird autopilot.

Unlike his panic attack from last week, this autopilot was not trauma induced, luckily enough. Not directly, anyway.

He put her red onesie into the dirty clothes pile in the corner of the room and slipped her into a much more comfortable set. Flick didn’t seem to mind either way, given she was absolutely zonked out.

Placing her in the crib, Tango could now unwind himself. He took off his pants and underwear, slipping on a new, clean pair of boxers. Rummaging through his drawers, he found a pair of plaid sleep pants that he’s gotten a while ago. Shrugging, the Hellion slipped them on and popped off his shirt on instinct.

Why bother keeping it around when Jimmy would ask for it off anyway?

Tango collapsed onto bed, a little regretful that he had yet to see Jim again today. He missed the avian a lot.

But now?

He was too busy sliding his hand through the bars of Flicker’s crib right next to his side of the bed to place a hand on her body. He liked feeling her chest rise and fall, because it was a constant reminder that she was okay.

And, it allowed him to feel her soft purrs as vibrations into his nervous system.

And in his sleep deprivation, he purred back. He didn’t hold himself back this time, given that there wasn’t anyone in the Citadel he had to hide it from. And the worst part about it?

He didn’t hate it. Not even a little bit. Maybe, he supposed, as his brain drifted off into a deep slumber, because he knew it made her feel that much more safe.

Maybe that’s why his mom did it so much when he was a kid.

—————
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………

Grass

Billowing grass

Like ocean waves

Or like lava falls

A cliffside that dropped off to a field of stalagmites.

Each and every one looking at him like a snake ready to strike.

Brilliant sunset

Like a painting

A hand took his.

He looked over.

A woman he’d never, ever seen before.

A Hellion with curly yellow hair.

He’d never seen a Hellion with curly hair before.

She smiled.

“You could lose this,”

He frowned.

“What?”

She shook her head and leaned a head on his shoulder.

It felt all too right.

“You could lose this,”

“Lose what?”

“Me,”

Nearby, behind both of their backs, a birds nest fell from a mountainous tree.

Tango didn’t have to see it with his eyes.

He knew.

The eggs shattered.

The yolks snaked their way up his arms.

And curled around his neck.

Tango keeled over and vomited.

It fell down and hit the stalagmites.

“You could lose this,”

Chapter Text

“You could lose this,”

The voice whispered, echoing through his mind.

”You could lose this,”

The females Hellion’s call gave way for a moment, allowing in a single, fuzzy sounding noise. It was deeper, yet almost like the sound of a morning trumpet.

“You could lose this,”

The trumpet sound beckoned again, this time louder, clearer. And the sound garbled into a familiar name.

“Tango?”

”You could lose this,”

“Tango wake up!” The trumpet voice said, making the female’s voice slip away into a deeper, darker part of his conscious, “Tango, you’re starting to worry me!”

The man’s words sounded familiar, like a warm kiss on a summer’s afternoon sitting on a Ranch. A Ranch…?

His Rancher!

Tango’s eyes snapped awake and he jolted up, scaring the canary. Jimmy yelped and hopped back, a startled squawk being forced out of his throat. They both stared at one another for a little bit. Jimmy was more trying to compose himself after getting the daylights scared out of him. Tango was attempting to wrangle his mind after that fever dream of a… well, dream.

He didn’t recognize the woman in it, with her curly yellow hair and deep red eyes. She was obviously a Hellion, but why did she appear in his slumber? On a cliffside, no less, that dropped to a spiked demise? What could he lose?

Their trains of thought, whatever Jimmy’s was, was broken by a shrill baby cry. Tango sat up, his adrenaline still going haywire from the dream. Scrambling over to the side of the crib, Tango was met with the face of a very upset baby. She wailed and wailed, probably because Jim scared her half to death with his own terrified noise. Tango reached down and brushed Flick’s cheek with his thumb.

“Aw- baby! I’m sorry!” Jimmy cooed, appearing at the side of the crib and scooping her up quickly. Tango’s skin prickled with goosebumps when Jimmy pinched the back of her neck. He felt a bit stupid, though, because of that. The Hellion had not a clue why the sight of his boyfriend take care of a baby made his brain all fuzzy.

It was like his entire skull was filled with cotton and his limbs buzzed with an electric thrill. Tango wanted to bury himself in Jimmy’s very existence. But maybe that was the sleep talking. Or maybe he just liked his boyfriend. Either were extremely likely.

Flicker melted into the canary’s arms and dozed off back into a steady sleep. Jim smiled, placing a small kiss on her cheek. Tango’s chest squeezed, his lungs straining for air, at the sight of it. The smallest part of the Hellion peeped up and expressed that, he too, would like to kiss her.

But be cleared his throat and smiled away his distress, “I didn’t mean to scare you, love,”

Tango smiled, pressing a small kiss to his forehead. Jimmy looked grateful, and this adorable kind of bashful, before giving the Hellion his signature devilish smirk. The shorter male couldn’t help but internally groan at the kind of face Jim was making, because that meant the avian was up to something.

“Speaking of kisses…” He said, purposefully trailing off to playfully roll his eyes and poke his cheek, “You still owe me one, because by the time I got home yesterday, ready to be kissed like you promised, you were clonked out in the bed!”

Tango rolled his eyes scooting over to the side of the avian and planting a quick kiss on his lips. Jimmy raised an eyebrow and huffed a challenging laugh, “Is that all you got? You know that’s not what you promised me, love,”

The Hellion smirked and shrugged, “I don’t know what you’re taking about, Mr. Solidarity,”

Jimmy rolled his eyes and cupped Tango’s cheek, brushing his thumb over the shorter male’s lower lip. The Hellion’s stomach burst with butterflies as he tried to keep some composure. Jimmy leaned in with lidded eyes, holding Tango’s cheek firmly with one hand.

Every. Single. Kiss. Was. Like. Fireworks.

His skin exploded with goosebumps and his head went numb. The Hellion’s while body went on autopilot, with its sole purpose to kiss the man in front of him. Tango’s arms slid their way around the avian’s neck. He loved it when Jim took control. It made him go crazy.

It was Jimmy who deepened the kiss further. The Hellion’s hands snaked through his hair, feeling every silk strand part for his claws. Jim’s hand traveled from Tango’s cheek to his waist, pulling him in further, closer. The world shrank, everything was quiet, and nothing was stopping them. Nothing at all.

A familiar sound clawed up Tango’s throat. At first, Tango thought it was a purr. Something he could hold down easily. But as it got harder to hold back, it became clear to the Hellion that this was not a purr. It was a chuff. And the second he realized that, those butterflies died and began to rot. The fireworks fizzled, and everything got way too loud. Flicker got especially loud because she kept on clicking at both of them.

Tango hadn’t even heard it until now.

And the thought of anything progressing made Tango want to vomit. He wouldn’t do anything like that anytime soon. He wasn’t ready. And the hands still haunted him.

He pulled away, a firm hand on the avian’s chest. Jim looked almost baffled, a little let down, and maybe a tad offended, but he kept it quiet. Only raising his eyebrow, the canary looked mostly incredulous.

“Flicker… she’s uh… right here. You’re holding her- Sorry- I just thought it was weird?” The Hellion stammered, refusing to give the real answer of ‘I almost made a sound that sickens me to even think of while kissing you’. Because in Tango’s mind, that wasn’t a valid answer.

Jim knew Tango wasn’t all for sex stuff like that. Never like that. It wasn’t that the Hellion didn’t want it per se, rather, he was scared of how he’d feel during it. They had that conversation the day they got together in Double Life. Jim never crossed that line, because he understood. It was just… sometimes they both got carried away.

Basically, Tango didn’t want to have a panic attack during sex because of flashbacks from the nether.

“Oh… yea. Sorry,” Jimmy mumbled, his cheeks dusted pink with embarrassment. Tango ran a hand through his hair and softly smiled.

“You’re fine. Besides, I did promise, didn’t I?” Tango huffed a laugh, “haven’t even given Flicker her bottle yet, and we’re already kissing.”

Jimmy laughed at the joke half-heartedly, watching Tango slide to the edge of the bed. Standing up, the Hellion let all of the blood rush through his body, keeping his balance as his head spun. His tail flail wildly as he regained his balance.

Glancing back, the Hellion was met with Jim’s face. The avian looked incredibly guilty. He knew that Tango’s excuse was flimsy at best. He knew that there was something Tango wasn’t telling him. Jimmy looked like he’d done something horribly wrong to Tango. That’s when he saw Jimmy’s eyes flicker with a hint of betrayal. The Hellion’s lip quivered.

“Jim,” He whispered, turning around to face the canary, “it’s okay. I’m okay.”

Jimmy looked like he almost believed him, but there was a glint in his eyes that remained hesitant. They stood there for another minute before the sound of Flicker whining made Tango’s ears perk up. She was hungry, he deduced, and he gently took her from his boyfriend’s arms. Picking up her Jellie from the crib, Tango began to walk out of the room and into the kitchen, only pausing when Jimmy didn’t follow.

“Love?” He questioned, staring into deep brown eyes that looked so sad. Tango’s lungs felt tighter, his legs grew weak, and his heart felt like it turned into something dark. The soil was dry and crumbly, the chocolate had gone bad, and the coffee was bitter. His eyes, the human looking eyes that the Hellion had grown to adore, looked cold.

“I’m… I’m coming with you,” He mumbled, getting up from the bed and following after the Hellion. Tango furrowed his brow and cleared his throat, using a free hand to support the small of Jimmy’s back.

A silence consumed them both as they walked down into the kitchen. Spiked walls and dark architecture loomed above. A little part of Tango didn’t forgive himself for making such an unsafe environment for a child. To be fair, he didn’t know she’d be here. And he took a mental note to make sure the game he made next season was more family friendly.

Flicker would be gone by then, Tango reminded himself.

His heart tore a little.

Down the stairs, through the halls, down some more stairs, through more halls, and finally through a large door. This was the routine they had gotten used to the last week. The one Tango had interrupted two days ago. But now, after the events over the last 48 hours, this routine that felt so right for the last week, felt a little hollow. It felt hollow knowing that a certain someone wouldn’t be here anymore. Because they, Tango and Jimmy, decided it would be best.

Yes, Tango and Jimmy.

The kitchen shined with morning light, suffocated by brewing storm clouds. The cabinets now much more filled and the area now looking much more lived in. Things were messy, messier than the Hellion was used to, but for some odd reason he liked it. For some odd reason, this last week was the happiest he’s ever felt.

Tango went to cook, about to place Flicker in Jim’s arms, when the avian shook his head.

“No, let me cook for you two,” Jimmy smiled, pushing Tango to sit down at the table, and when he was met with resistance he poked the Hellion’s side, “Besides, I cook better anyway.”

Jimmy got out a preprepared bottle from the fridge and placed it in front of Tango. The Hellion looked up, a little puzzled at Jimmy’s change of attitude. It was scary how well he did that sometimes.

Grabbing the bottle, Tango heated it up with his body, focusing the fire in his heart into the palm of his hand. Testing it on his wrist, he deduced that it was warm enough. He glanced up, watching Jimmy naturally maneuver around the counters and easily wield the utensils. Tango almost felt jealous.

“So… how was your day yesterday?” the Hellion asked, offering the bottle to Flicker. She drank from it happily. Jimmy didn’t respond for a moment, instead focusing on whisking some kind of mixture. A few beats of silence more before Jimmy realized he’d been silent.

“Oh-! Sorry, yea, it was good. Me, Grian, and Scar hung out all day. It was-“ Jimmy paused to crack an egg, “It was fantastic,”

Tango looked down to Flick. After last nights dream… he couldn’t look at eggs.

“That’s nice,” He replied absentmindedly, “Anything specific you did?”

“Oh yeah! We, like, went to Grian’s base and had a building competition in his front yard. It was literally the best. Scar won, obviously, but I had a great time regardless,” the avian happily rattled off, striding around the kitchen with unsaid confidence.

“Oh yeah? That’s awesome, Jim. Your day off sounds a lot better than mine when I went coding,” Tango laughed, watching Flicker drink her bottle. Something stirred within him when he looked at her. He didn’t know what that was. And he didn’t want to find out.

“Well, how was your day yesterday? With Flick and all that? Did you get the red stone you needed?” Jim asked, putting something on the pan. The sound of sizzling made Tango’s mouth water.

“Oh yeah,” Tango answered confidently, bringing the bottle over to the sink when Flicker decided she was done, “We got the redstone at Scar’s crazy looking shop. I mean, that place is absolutely beautiful.”

“Oh, is it? I’ll have to check it out sometime. But, I can guarantee Scar’d deny that to his grave,” the canary laughed, digging through the spice drawers, being careful with the spice bottles, “He’d say, ‘Oh no! I do say Cub’s builds are much more a-may-zin!’ Or something like that.”

Tango laughed, earning a confused head tilt from Flick. Her little pointed ears twitched. He scratched her cheek and she giggled, her eyes shining with fondness. A purr clawed at his throat, and the Hellion swallowed it down.

“Oh yeah, absolutely. How do you do such a good impression of him?” the Hellion teased, his sarcastic comment earning an offended tsk from Jim.

“Oh be quiet. I’m sure you gave Scar a boat load of our diamonds,” the avian sighed, shaking his head, despite his infectious smile, and dumped some spoons into the sink.

“Oh, I was about to, but Mumbo interrupted me,” Tango offhandedly said, sitting Flicker up in his lap and tickling her nose with his tail. Jimmy went stiff, his wings pinning against his back.

Slowly, he turned, his eyes all wide and his cheeks a little pale, “You saw Mumbo?”

What?

Yes, he saw Mumbo. Why was that such a big deal? Why did Jimmy look like he was delivered the most shocking news ever? Tango’s posture straightened. His grip on Flick tightened. The Hellions eyes found their way to the floor, and they couldn’t leave. His heart began to softly pound in his chest.

“Yea… I saw Mumbo. Is that uh- a big deal or something?” the Hellion asked, flittering his eyes up to meet Jim’s. Tango searched for any clues for what Jim was even talking about before immediately glueing his eyes to the floor.

“Well- normally, no. But uhm,” Jim paused, trying to find his words, but disguising it as him flipping the bacon, “No one’s seen him in a couple days. He’d been around for a bit after Flick got here, but then he started acting weird. He was all quiet and he looked so tired. Wednesday he just disappeared. He’s still on the server, though, obviously. Everyone’s tried to contact him, and he responds, but he’s made no effort to see anyone. X says he’s too busy to find Mumbo and everyone has just been so stressed. From what Grian’s told me… the server is a bit of a mess right now.”

Tango felt the world slow down. No. This server couldn’t be a mess. If it was then what was stopping it from completely shutting down? What? His ears rang. He couldn’t lose this server. His people. His friends.

“Did you find him, though? Where was he?” Jimmy asked, eyes darting back and forth from the food and back to the Hellions blue eyes.

“I… He found me,” the Hellion began, his throat now becoming dry, “We spoke for a bit in the shop before he pulled me away to chat on a secluded cliff. We spoke there uh… for a while. And… he told me about the world outside of the citadel, heh.”

Tango huffed dryly, hoping Jimmy would believe that he was fine. The avian appeared behind him, and took Flicker from his lap, placing the baby in her high chair. With a ceramic clack, a plate was placed in front of the Hellion. Pillowy, chocolate chip pancakes were stacked in a sturdy tower. Thick bacon was perfectly seared, with char in all of the right places. And off to the side was a small ramekin with fruit.

Jim offered him a half-hearted smile.

“He told me that the hermits have been waiting for us to ask for help. That’s why they haven’t offered to uh… help us out with Flick. And that he told Keralis about how X has been behaving. And uh… I think that’s it,” Tango continued, watching Jimmy place his own plate and settle down in the seat across from the Hellion.

“Wait, wait, wait, the hermits were acting that weird on purpose? So we could’ve had a babysitter this whole time? What the freak? So, we’re definitely taking that offer and getting a gosh darn babysitter, right?” Jimmy asked, grabbing one of Tango’s hands.

“I’ve been thinking about it. I feel a little bad, but I think I still need a break… coding was not what I needed…” the Hellion quietly admitted, picking up his fork and digging into the pancakes.

“Who should we call? Should we do it today? I kinda want to do it today. Tango, we should go on a date! Just the two of us. We haven’t been alone like that, without anyone, in ages!” The canary suggested, his dark brown eyes sparkling with excitement. Could Tango say no to him when he looked like that?

No.

“That’s not a bad idea. Personally, the person I’d trust the most with a baby is Impulse,” the Hellion stated, getting a very quick and curt nod from Jim.

“Oh, absolutely. Him or Zed. Well, maybe Zed would be iffy. But I feel like he’s got this air of responsibility to him…” Jimmy rambled, skewering some strawberries with his fork and popping them into his mouth.

“When we’re done eating I can call Impulse,” Tango offered, his mouth full of bacon.

Flicker babbled excitedly and put her tail flame in her mouth. Jimmy laughed and fondly caressed her cheek with his index finger, “I’m sure you’d love to meet uncle Impy!”

Tango’s heart leapt into his throat at the word ‘uncle’ and ‘Impy’ in the same sentence. He knew the canary was just being all ooey gooey towards her and making this baby talk. But calling Impulse family like that implied that Flicker was family too.

And a tiny part of him sang at the idea. But he was a Hellion, Tango reminded himself, he could never be a good dad. It wasn’t in his capabilities. She was going to Hub. To Hub.

Away from him.

—

His phone rang and echoed through the empty library.

It was a circular thing, expertly crafted by the esteemed Cubfan himself. The shelves were dark oak stained with black dye and had misty blue accents in the metalwork. Lining each shelf were books. All sorts of ‘em. Old books on redstone, thick, leathery ones on history, skinny, fine ones for botany, and sturdy, glimmering enchanting books filled with powerful magic. His enchanting table stood by him, open and ready to infuse his tools with abilities. Sometimes it unnerved the Hellion how it knew when he was around.

Tango’s eyes traced over every spine, all of the words, reading them in his nervousness. His eyes traveled their way up the spiral staircase to the open skylight above, his own nerves absolutely killing him. The call rang out again.

Would Impulse even pick up?

The Hellion collapsed onto a nearby desk. Intricately carved mahogany, with this deep red color, gleamed in the light of the vintage desk lamp.

Tango almost wanted to relent, hang up, and privately message Impulse that he butt dialed him. This was such a mistake. He groaned and was about to click ‘cancel’ when the screen changed. The sound of crunching leaves beneath heavy boots could be heard.

“Yellow?” The imp beckoned, and Tango could even hear the cheeky smile. The Hellion sighed.

“I’m hanging up-“

“Wait, wait, wait! I’m sorry,” Impulse laughed. He always had such a nice, hearty laugh that tickled you just right and made you laugh too.

“Don’t make me regret it,” the Hellion joked, feeling the tension melt from his body.

“Yea, yea… anyway, what are ya callin’ for? Is everything alright with Flicker?” Impulse pressed, his voice suddenly getting a little worried.

“Oh, everything’s fine… we were just wondering how free you were today,” Tango asked, fiddling nervously with his claws.

“Free? Uh… well… I suppose I am, why?” The imp replied, his voice sounding vaguely excited.

Excited?

“Oh, uhm, well, you don’t have to at all,” the Hellion began, his tail flicking back and forth anxiously, “But me and Jim were wondering if you’d like to uh… meet Flick and maybe uh… take care of her today?”

Heavy, thundering footsteps could then be heard on the other line. It was almost like… running? Tango furrowed his brow.

“Impulse?”

“I- huh- will be there- huh- soon-“ the imp promised, gasping in between his words.

“Are you running?”

“I don’t- huh- have- huh- my elytra-“

“Impulse, you have wings, you don’t need an elytra-“ the Hellion stammered, incredibly flustered at Impulse’s willingness to help.

“You’re right!” He said, audibly skidding to a stop, “I’ll be there in like… T-minus ten-ish minutes!”

“Okay-“ Tango was cut off by the call being hung up. He sighed, a smile now being etched onto his face.

Impulse was always the caring type, wasn’t he? Someone who Tango could rely on in that way. He’d always been like that. Since the first day Tango met him. The Hellion was glad he could at least depend on one person. Well, not counting Jim because he was Tango’s boyfriend.

But it kinda astounded him that Impulse cared that much. Really, that anyone cared that much, and so openly, too. When you cared in the nether, that was a death wish. Mercy kills were popular. Met a Hellion that was too nice for his own good? Kill ‘em. End their inevitable suffering.

Kindness didn’t exist for a lot of reasons, and that was one of them. Hellions killed whatever kindness there was out of ‘mercy’. Because they were scared that a Hellion with horrible intentions would do much, much worse.

Tango quickly walked back into their room with a big ol’ smile on his face, which gave it away to Jim.

“He said yes?” the canary asked excitedly, walking up to Tango, Flicker in hand. Tango tilted his head back to kiss Jim on the cheek.

“Yes, he did,” The Hellion smiled, accepting another kiss from Jimmy, but this time on the lips.

“That’s wonderful-“ Jimmy was cut off from a loud thud on the window.

Snapping both of their heads over, they locked eyes with a burly Imp, his large demon wings sprawled out comically against the glass. He smiled sheepishly, before calling out. Despite his words being muffled, they were still loud enough to be clear, “Hi! Please open the window! it’s hard to hold on…”

Tango scrambled over, hurriedly swinging the windows open and watching the large man collapse on their floor. The Hellion suddenly felt embarrassed when he realized how dirty their room was. It made sense why, given they’d been living in there for the last week, if you forgot the last couple of days, but Tango wondered if it smelled.

That would be mortifying. And glancing at Jim, he had the same fear, too, by the look of it.

“Uh… hey?” the Hellion offered a hand, and the imp eagerly took it.

“Hi! How have you guys been? I heard Jim took a day off yesterday! And I hear that you need another day of rest. Well, fear not, Uncle Impulse is here!” The burly man said, puffing out his chest and smirking.

Jimmy laughed and shook his head, going to hug the imp. When Impulse’s eyes finally landed on the baby, Tango swore he just saw, in real time, what falling in love looked like. And as much as it was absolutely adorable, it made Tango nauseous in all the wrong ways.

Jimmy smiled wider than Tango had seen all week. Impulse leaned over and gently touched her face, quickly glancing up to Jim and Tango in a silent beckoning of permission. Once he didn’t get any negatives, he continued and carefully took Flicker into his arms. His pointy ears were perked up and his tail was swishing in a slow, repetitive pattern. He made this noise, kinda like an enderman’s, but a little higher pitched and more drawn out. Some kind of chitter, Tango thought.

“So… do you like her?” Jim asked, his hands clutched to his chest and his eyes swimming with fondness.

“Stars… she’s wonderful, isn’t she?” the imp replied, quickly wiping away any misty eyes.

It was almost like a tiger creeping up on prey. How Tango suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt. For him, it’d be sad to see Flicker go, sure, but in his rationale, it was just him feeling that way. He was already guilty by burdening Jimmy with that sorrow, but now Impulse?

Could he even muster enough courage to do that to the man?

But he steeled himself. He told himself again, that he may think that he’s ready for a baby or whatever, but he’s not. He knows that. Babies are hard work, especially when they grow up. Because they may be more self-sufficient, but they’re more impressionable. Tango could never ever do that to a child. He’d never burden them by being their parent.

Even if it hurt everyone around him, Tango knew what was best.

Because they didn’t know. None of them did. Maybe that was Tango’s fault. Maybe Tango should’ve told them.

But…

“Would you like us to teach you how to take care of her? She’s not exactly particular, but Hellions are different, you know?” the Hellion offered, placing a hand on Impulse’s back, with a awfully fake smile.

“Oh! Yes!” Impulse exclaimed, his eyes igniting with this fire of enthrallment.

If Impulse noticed that the Hellion was acting odd, he didn’t say.

—

Tango stared at himself in the mirror, wearing his old, red garb. It felt odd, seeing his blue hair and eyes mixed with his black and red jacket and long sleeves. The Hellion picked at all of the hems, feeling like the fabric was touching too much of his skin. He really had to start wearing shirts again, cover up the scars while he was at it, and be able to where clothing again.

Because Jimmy was classical conditioning him into being like Scar. Shirtless more often than not.

The compression shirt under neath all of his loser layers, the one meant to keep him warm, felt like it was squeezing every little nook and cranny of his body. It felt like hands squeezing his body. Tango’s stomach churned at the idea of ‘the hands’. The hands that touched and took, and the hands that sent a large wave of nausea through Tango’s entire body.

No. Not now. Not today.

He stilled himself, closing his eyes, and took in a very deep breath.

He might not look like himself, but he was still Tango.

Despite everything, he was still Tango.

Opening his eyes back up, he saw a man who looked very out of place. Maybe that’s why he felt so damn uncomfortable. The clothes he was wearing were worn and dusty, once his, and yet, he didn’t feel like Tango. He felt like any other Hellion he’d meet on his travels.

Well, he supposed he’d became the kind of Hellions he’d avoid on his travels. The ones with soulfire were always the ones to avoid. He wasn’t Tango right now. Maybe that’s why he felt so damn awful looking in the mirror.

He wasn’t Tango, he was some soulfire prick. Some prick in the nether that loved to terrorize and destroy. Some prick who used his soulfire as a way to make anyone weaker than him shut the hell up. He wasn’t Tango.

“Love?” Jim asked, walking behind the Hellion and placing loving, heavenly hands on his waist. Their golden bright touch scared off the other dark hands that touched him. Golden, sweet light that warded off those evil memories.

“Ah- yes?” He asked, a little startled from being so quickly pulled from his deep thinking. The avian only offered a small, slightly sad smile, and rested his chin on Tango’s shoulder. The canary stared into the mirror and focused everything on Tango’s face.

“You look a little stressed, everything alright?” Jim asked, extending his wing to wrap around the Hellion’s back. Tango looked away, and to Jim’s outfit.

A simple blue button up over a white tee. Did Tango honestly expect anything else? The Hellion huffed a dry laugh and felt his own head naturally relax against his.

“I kinda… don’t like how I look right now,” Tango mumbled, his eyes shutting again. He didn’t want to look Jim in the eyes when he said that.

Tango didn’t need his eyes to know Jimmy’s brows furrowed and his lips formed into a very cute pout. But it was knowing that the avian was pouting because of him was what made him want to never open his eyes again.

“But I think you look so hot right now. Is it your clothes? Because they’re the old ones?” the canary asked, his hands traveling across the fabric, “you can change into your robes if you’d like.”

Tango shook his head, holding his arms, and opening his eyes, “I don’t want to change my clothes. I want to change my hair.”

“Your hair? Like uhm… I know you explained it to me,” Jimmy paused to think, “like your internal fire? When you changed it to be blue?”

“Uh, yea,” Tango stammered, tensing when Jimmy’s hands slid up his shirt and across his stomach.

The canary looked incredulous and asked, “You don’t like that?”

“Ah- no, not right now,” he concurred.

“Okay… and that’s because you don’t like how you look right?”

“Yes,”

Jimmy stared at them both for a bit. His eyes grazed over their forms. He sighed and leaned away, planting his hands on his hips.

“Let’s stop looking in the mirror, then,” the canary said finally, “Let’s go out and have fun. Besides, Impulse takes naturally to this uncle stuff, so I don’t think we have anything to worry about.”

Tango was pushed out of the closet and was met with an almost too-sweet sight. Impulse was sat down on the floor, hunched over, with this big, goofy grin plastered on his face. His back was facing the two men, but it was all too clear that he was enamored. And Flicker, oh, Flicker. She was laughing like crazy, this big smile on her face. A smile that Tango found himself envious of. And her orange hair shimmered like fresh magic.

When Impulse turned to face them, probably to say goodbye, his eyes swam with contentment. The imp smiled softly, waving at them, “Bye guys! Me and the little one should be a-okay! Isn’t that right, Flicker?”

Jim walked over to squat down and place a kiss on Flick’s forehead. She laughed and grabbed his face, her tail gently brushing against the canary’s cheek. Then, her eyes met with Tango’s, and she paused for a bit. She then lit up and reached for the older Hellion.

His eyebrows knitted together, but he walked over anyway and gently caressed her cheek. She grasped onto his wrist and gave a playful nom to the base of his thumb. The Hellion chuckled and pulled his hand away, much to the dismay of the baby.

“If she ever gives you too much trouble, don’t be afraid to call us,” Tango said, standing back up and patting Impulse’s back.

“Her? Trouble? Please, this angel can’t be trouble,” Impulse smirked, picking her up into his arms and leaning back to lay down on the floor. Jimmy laughed loudly, and shielded his face with his wing.

“Oh, trust me, Impulse, she can be a bit of a hassle. Especially if I’m not there,” the Hellion promised, his hand finding its way to Jimmy’s waist.

“Oh? Well, Mr. Tek, I know about all of the Hellion cheat codes now! So, be prepared to come back home to a very happy baby. That’s a promise,” the imp said, letting out a long sigh of comfort.

Jimmy then waved Impulse and Flick goodbye before exclaiming, “Alright, Tango, we’re burning daylight. Stop second guessing, let’s get out there!”

The avian basically dragged Tango out of the room. To be fair, the Hellion didn’t know why he was resisting leaving so desperately. He didn’t understand why he’d honestly rather take their baby-

No, the baby with them.

By the time they were out of the castle, they couldn’t find any words. The icy wind whipped their faces, and snow fell in heaves. Tango felt the fire in his chest swell into a great pyre and his hair ignited in response to the frigid air. Jimmy’s eyes darted over in a bit of a panic, “Are you okay?”

“Cold,” Tango replied, “not upset.”

Silence again. Only the sound of rustling trees and birds. Of foxes fighting and of bushes rattling. The stone and wood beneath their feet creaked in the howling gusts and breezes.

“What do you even want to do?” the Hellion asked, turning his head to face Jim.

The avian shrugged, and gave a lopsided smirk, “I thought you had this figured out,”

“I just kinda… wanted to have an adventure with you. But now…” Tango trailed off, not really wanting to finish his sentence.

“You would rather cuddle Flick?”

“No, I didn’t say ‘cuddle’,” Tango tried to amend, but was quickly cut off by Jim.

“You didn’t say anything,” Jim countered, chuckling, “I finished your sentence for you,”

“Ah- gosh, you really grind my gears, you know,” Tango huffed, not able to hide his vague amusement.

“Well, if you’re gonna miss Flick all day, which I totally understand, why not spend today getting her a special gift? I’m sure that would help cure you of your needs,” Jimmy offered, pinching Tango’s cheek with his knuckles.

The Hellion playfully swatted Jim away and side eyed him, “What would we even get her? I’ve had no time to plan any gifts,”

“Well, Scarland isn’t too far away…” the canary thought aloud before his eyes widening in realization. He looked over at Tango with a devious smile. The same smile that stole his heart back in Double Life.

“Let’s get her so much Jellie stuff,” the canary whispered, his eyes gleaming with mischievous intent.

—

They had decided to walk the way there. To ‘enjoy nature’ as Jim put it. The walk through the frozen wasteland was much harder, and considerably longer, than the walk through the warm forest glades. With the sun now out and shining, gleaming down onto their skin. Bees buzzed and butterflies fluttered all around them. Sticks and leaves crunched underneath Tango’s boots and smooshed under Jimmy’s Converse. Dappled light danced with the branches of the large oak trees. The air felt clearer here. Tango’s fire had extinguished a while ago, with no need to stay warm.

“You’re so cute,” Jimmy cooed, looping his arm with Tango’s. The Hellion looked over and rolled his eyes. He didn’t fight the peppering of kisses the canary sprang onto him, though.

“I’m so cute?” The Hellion beckoned, watching Jimmy giggle and stumble like a school girl. His tail flicked and curled around the canary’s waist.

“Yes! You’re looking at all of the bugs n’ stuff. It’s so cute,” Jim smiled, looking into Tango’s icy, cold, blue eyes. Jim’s eyes were a caramel-toffee color in this light. Tango wanted to melt into his boyfriend. To hold him forever and feel that love for as long as he lived.

Tango adored Jimmy’s eyes.

“Ah, well, I’m not the one walking around with the prettiest wings in this entire server,” Tango stated, watching the avian’s face get all red and flustered. The Hellion knew that the taller male loved compliments on his wings. And the Hellion knew that a single good word about them would shut Jim up.

He stayed quiet for a few moments, steam almost literally coming out of his ears. Then, he cleared his throat, “Well- uhm- the only other person with wings like mine on the server is Grian, so that’s really just an insult to him.”

Easy exploit.

“Well, it’s not his fault his wings aren’t as gorgeous as yours,” the Hellion smirked, watching Jimmy squirm.

“Oh my stars! No, we’re leaving that there. No more compliments!” the canary yelped, quickly un-looping his arm and scampering ahead of Tango. The Hellion cackled this hearty laugh, and his fire ignited again for a few moments before his laughter died down.

“Okay, okay,” Tango relented, “no more compliments.”

Jimmy remained silent for a bit, and despite his visible pout, it was clear to Tango that the canary was lapping up the compliments from his hands.

The distant figure of the Scarland castle could be seen in the distance. Thank Stars, because Tango’s legs were already getting tired. Which was a little weird, considering how much he used to walk.

Completely quiet. The swishing of grass and padding paws from hidden animals in the brush. The birds were singing sweet melodies as they swooped over head.

Tango couldn’t place it, but something felt off. Today felt off. There were good things happening, but they kept getting soured. The Hellion felt this weird feeling that today was gonna end… not well.

The avian slowed down and matched his pace.

Jimmy’s body suddenly grew a little uneasy. The Hellion took notice, and felt himself naturally begin to survey his surroundings. It was a nervous habit, he had to admit. Maybe he should’ve known that it was less that there was something around them that made Jim uncomfortable, rather a question the canary wanted to ask.

“Why… do you not want to keep Flicker?” Jimmy whispered, his question ringing out into the air. It felt so out of the blue, but knowing Jim, he’d probably been thinking about that since the day the got her.

But could Tango answer him? Not really. Tango could give vague excuses, but Jimmy deserved the truth. Jimmy deserved everything. It was just that Tango could hardly think of the truth without feeling like he was dying. Jimmy deserved the world and Tango could only give him dust.

Sometimes the Hellion felt like he deserved none of Jimmy’s love.

But at the same time, he could give Jimmy something, because he deserved it. He told Mumbo, didn’t he? He could tell the love of his life, right? Tango straightened himself, clearing his throat.

“Well,” He began, swallowing when he realized how dry his mouth had become, “I’m scared of losing my temper. Hellions, generally speaking, we have a tendency to be shit parents and… well, I don’t ever want to be an example of that stereotype.”

The avian’s eyes widened a little at Tango’s willing openness, but he quickly took the shorter males hand and grasped it tightly. So tightly, the Hellion wondered if Jimmy was scared to lose him.

“I… didn’t expect you to actually answer, uhm. I don’t think you’re like the stereotype at all, though. I feel like if it was an issue, you’d already be acting weird. But… you’re not. So, forgive me for being ignorant, but what’s the big deal?” Jimmy spoke, his voice soft, but otherwise a little reserved.

Tango knitted his eyebrows together and looked away, “I just don’t know. And I don’t want to do anything I’m not one hundred percent good on. Besides, babies are big decisions. I don’t want to rush into something like that.”

The canary didn’t loosen his grasp on the Hellion’s hand. But, he looked away. Tango was worried maybe he was trying to hide tears. Silence again. This time, much more uncomfortable. This time, it made Tango want to run. Shame latched onto the Hellion’s gut. Why did he always want to fucking run when things got uncomfortable? He was a damn coward.

“I don’t know a darn thing you’ve been through,” Jimmy began, looking up and into Tango’s eyes, “But you realize that you act nothing like how you say Hellions do, right?”

He knows he doesn’t.

That’s honestly what he prided himself on for years. But he knows what he’s capable of. He’s seen himself stoop to levels he never think he was capable to stoop to. He’s experienced moments when he was the worst person he knew. And because of that, he could never, ever trust himself with another life. Not like that.

“I would like to believe that, Jim, I really would,” Tango whispered, gripping onto the other man’s hand with unprecedented strength, “but I’m horrified of being wrong.”

Silence.

Gut wrenching silence.

“I understand,”

Tango got the impression that Jimmy didn’t understand. Not even in the slightest.

—

“You guys can’t be serious! You let Impulse babysit her before me?!” Scar exclaimed, dramatically sliding down the length of his cane to collapse onto the floor. Jimmy was off to the side, keeled over laughing, and Tango was left rolling his eyes to the vex’s overreaction.

“Scar, it’s really not that big of a deal,” Tango mumbled, flicking his tail in vague irritation. Jimmy took note of the Hellions disinterest, and came up behind to place a ‘calm down’ hand on the small of his back.

“It is! Impulse was the darn one who told us not to bother you two! That imp was biding his time!” Scar argued, quickly hopping up and sauntering off with this moody sway. Tango rolled his eyes again, and Jimmy patted him on the back.

“He was not biding his time, Scar, He’s just the most responsible,” Tango replied.

Scar let out an offended scoff and quickly paced back, “Most responsible? Ask Jimothy! He’ll tell you just how responsible I am!”

“No offense,” Jimmy quickly interjected, “but I said I’d only trust Flick with Zed or Imp.”

Scar pouted and visibly moped, “That’s not fair! I’m so responsible,”

“I’d only trust you with Grian or Mumbo,” Tango stated, crossing his arms, “but even then you three are hardly reliable.”

Jimmy side eyed Tango. Well, maybe the Hellion was being a little mean. Because Scar had this weird glint in his eyes. This worried look of ‘why would you say that?’, and suddenly, Tango felt a little too guilty. Maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned Mumbo, given what he was told this morning.

He cleared his throat and quickly added, “Though, I’m sure you’d do fine.”

Scar didn’t really respond, instead awkwardly nodding and strutting off into the park. Tango was going to follow, but Jimmy gripped onto his wrist. Turning his head, the Hellion was met with eyes filled with confusion.

“What’s up? You’re usually not like this,” He asked, eyebrows furrowing a little despite his smile.

Tango didn’t know. He didn’t know why on earth he was always the one to suggest a ‘break’ but then ten seconds later instantly regret it and just want to go back to Flicker. He didn’t know why thinking about Impulse babysitting her pissed him off more than he could fathom. He hated Scar mentioning it like Impulse was her dad, which she was not her dad in the slightest.

And there was this creeping anxiety that whispered horrible little things into the Hellion’s ear. Like, what if she likes Impulse better? What if Scar wants to take Flick away from him and raise her? What if something bad has happened but Impulse was too nervous to call them or notify them?

“Just miss Flick,” Tango replied, choosing the simplest and most straightforward answer. Because anything too complicated would lead his mind into places and feelings he’d rather not experience. This almost knowing realization dawned on Jimmy’s faces, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he grabbed the Hellion’s hand and led him into Scarland.

’The second happiest place on earth’

Hah… what was the first?

—

Scarland was gorgeous. Tango couldn’t even deny how much better of a builder Scar was compared to him.

The Main Street was absolutely magnificent. Each building was intricately built with various stones and woods. Everything felt so magical and alive. Which Tango supposed it made sense, given the place was supposed to feel magical. Apparently it was based off of some specific parks in Hub that were famous.

Of course, despite being from Hub, the Hellion had never been there for very obvious reasons.

Now, however, Tango was more preoccupied with the mountain of presents Scar was willing to provide to Flick. Tango didn’t think there were so many things in the world to make Jellie-themed.

A little part of Tango cursed Flick for being so obsessed with the cat.

“Scar, I can tell you with way too much certainty that Flicker will be perfectly fine with an eighth of what you’ve given us,” Jimmy chuckled, awkwardly shifting the massive bags of Jellie paraphernalia in his arms. The handles of the plastic bags were cutting off Tango’s blood flow.

“I’m not paying for all of this,” Tango added, waddling around with the massive Jellie plush. The vex just laughed and bopped Tango’s head with his cane.

The bags were filled with Jellie blankets, pillows, socks, plushies of all sizes, hats, head bands, and everything else under the sun. At this point, Scar could’ve just given them the damn cat to finish their collection.

“Oh, Mr. TangoTek, I can assure you. Payment is not needed,” Scar explained, but the Hellion didn’t miss his cheeky tone. He didn’t miss the sly smile or the mischievous side eye. The Hellion deadpanned.

The m-effer was plotting something.

“Okay… I’m glad. Because I’ve spent Stars know how many diamonds already at your redstone shop,” the Hellion replied, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Jim, bless his heart, didn’t pick up on Scar’s obvious hints, “Oh, Scar, no that’d be too nice. I’d feel bad.”

The vex grinned wickedly before slyly putting his arm around Jimmy. Tango felt weirdly protective because of that, but he didn’t do anything about it.

“Why, Jimmy Solidarity, how kind of you,” Scar said, ruffling the avian’s hair, causing a realization of ‘oh shit I fell for it’ wash over the canary, “if you’d like, you can simply… oh, I don’t know, promise me that I’ll be the next person to babysit Flicker?”

“Oh my god, all of that just to babysit? Scar you really could’ve asked,” the Hellion groaned, his tail flicking agitatedly.

“Oh, where’s the fun in that? Besides, it’s not like I was plotting ever since you told me Impulse got to babysit her first, or whatever,” the vex waved off, sauntering off with his cane behind his back.

“We would’ve said yes,” Jimmy laughed, flapping his wings wildly as he lost his balance at the addition of more Jellie themed clothing, “Hey- Scar, these are T-shirt’s for adults.”

“Oh I’m aware, Mr. Solidarity. I just wanted to hit the point home that I’m your trustworthy friend,” the vex cheerfully added, tugging the hem of his hi-vis jacket, “and that I really, really want to meet her. She was such a cutie-pie when I met her. Oh, I bet she’s gotten so big!”

Scar was practically begging at this point. Tango kinda stared at him. He hadn’t realized that the hermits would be so… open to it? To the idea of helping him and his boyfriend out with the baby. Even though she’d only be here for a bit.

But Tango felt kinda bad that Scar was trying to ‘prove’ he was a good candidate to babysit Flick. The Hellion had an inkling of where that desperation came from. Tango was such an ass for making a comment like that to Scar.

The vex was probably one of the nicest people he knew, even though he had a tendency for mischief.

“Yes, Scar, you can babysit her next,” Jimmy said, bopping Scar in the back of his head with the meaty part of his wing. The vex fist pumped and silently celebrated such a small victory.

The vex causally walked off, gesturing for the two men to follow. Tango watched as Jimmy happily trotted off, heaving the bags along with him. The Hellion warily followed suit, allowing the two much more confident men to take the lead. Scar’s speed kind of tapered off and he slowed down to walk side by side with Tango.

“Hey… I have a question,” he began, looking the Hellion dead in the eyes, “earlier when you said that you’d only trust Flicker with me if I was with Grian or Mumbo.”

Tango internally cringed, “Yea?”

“I know this is like- a weird ask, especially considering the fact that you guys have been pretty isolated and all that… but… have you seen Mumbo? Or at least know where he is?” The vex pressed, his eyes swimming with a certain amount of desperation. Tango was almost a little flustered at how desperate Scar looked.

“Uh, yea, I’ve seen him. I actually saw him yesterday-“ Tango mentioned but was quickly cut off.

“Really, you have?!” Scar exclaimed, grasping Tango’s hands together, “Where did you see him?”

The vex looked so relieved. Like a massive weight had been removed from his body. But Tango didn’t want to give Mumbo away like that, especially with how he was acting yesterday, “I don’t-“

“Is he okay?” Scar spluttered, his eyes wild again with desperation. Jimmy had stopped, and was staring at them from a distance.

He would hesitate telling Scar where Mumbo was. The mustached man seemed to rather be alone right now. He was talking about breaks, feeling empty, and gut wrenching stuff like that. To give away Mumbo’s hidden lookout spot would be a massive dick move on Tango’s part, even if it was to his closest of friends. But Scar deserved closure. In some way, he needed to know Mumbo was fine. Tango wouldn’t mention the tired eyes or the hopelessness. The messy hair or tarnished suit.

“He’s okay. Just a little worn out,” the Hellion answered.

Scar’s eyes lit up and his face relaxed. His hands let go of Tango’s. The vex sighed, walking off with his cane clacking against the concrete.

“I’m glad! He was really starting to worry us,” Scar sighed, placing a hand on his chest.

They were walking towards the entrance now, given that if Jimmy or Tango were handed any more Jellie stuff, they’d topple over. Scar had made his point clear; he was going to babysit Flick and he missed Mumbo tons. The Hellion didn’t even want to think about how Grian may be feeling.

Scar’s vex wings were half extended in this very relaxed position as he meandered around the park. His eyes trailing over all of the shops like a concerned dad checking in on his kid’s rooms. Occasionally, he’d do a double take and mumble to himself to ‘fix that later’. Tango knew the vex well enough to understand that the problem wouldn’t be fixed. Not until months later.

They were up at the front now, with massive flower beds with pretty topiary and otherwise well groomed bushes. Vibrant reds from the roses and poppies, the brilliant yellows from the daffodils, the cerulean blues from the cornflowers, and the orange marigolds all beamed with such beauty. Tango admired Scar for being able to keep them alive. The Hellion could never.

They all swayed in the wind like waves…

Like billowing grass…

Grass

Billowing grass

Like ocean waves

Or like lava falls

A cliffside that dropped off to a field of stalagmites.

Each and every one looking at him like a snake ready to strike.

Tango shook himself out of the memory. That dream really, honestly fucked him up. The distant recollection of the Hellion woman with curly hair. Bright, vibrant yellow. She was healthy. She was… very beautiful. Her eyes were so kind. They were these red, hopeful ones that looked at him like he could do no wrong.

Scar’s dreadful gasp shattered Tango from his own thoughts, “Oh no!”

“What? what?” Jimmy asked, rather startled from the sudden noise.

Tango saw what the vex was focused on. A wilted flower in the center of them all. In its own separate pot, away from all the other beauty. Its leaves crunchy and petals fallen. All brown and decayed. The image disturbed Tango in a way that he couldn’t describe.

Flowers were forever. They didn’t die. Not unless you were a bad person. His new friends were flowers. That warlord lady spoke about flowers once. Tango takes extra time to look at flowers for her. Tango thinks she’d like Fire Lilies the most.

Flowers weren’t supposed to die. He knew they could, but to see one die was too much. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest. His ears rang. Flowers didn’t just die- not like that!

“My Frost Lily! That thing was a pain in the ass to grow! I even gave it a special pot that made the soil cold… ugh, maybe I should’ve just taken the Fire Lily,” Scar mumbled, walking over and rubbing the dead leaf in between his fingers. The thing snapped in his grasp. He pouted and sighed.

“Pardon me, but what’s a Frost Lily? Or a Fire Lily? Sorry, I’m not exactly a botanist?” Jimmy questioned, walking up behind Scar with curious eyes.

“Well, to start, Fire Lilies and Frost Lilies are kinda the same thing. Like,” Scar paused to suck the back of his teeth, “Frost Lilies are the same but blue and white instead of red and orange. They can only exist in cold soil and air. While Fire Lilies can only exist in warm soil and air. Kinda like hydrangeas with the pH stuff.”

Jimmy nodded along to Scar’s explanation as he continued, “If you saw a Fire Lily in the summer and then came back in the winter, it would be blue instead. Unless it was some weird freak-flower. I tried to make an artificial Frost Lily by potting it in a chilling pot. And it worked for a while, given I planted it in early spring, but clearly the flower did not like the cold soil and warm air mix.”

“But, I feel like they’d be a lot easier to grow considering they stay alive throughout the entire year,” Jimmy offered, scratching his chin.

“You’d think, but Seasonal Lilies have a mind of their own. Don’t matter how hot or cold it is. Those things have a mind of their own,”

Everyone was dead quiet for a long time, just staring at the dead, dry plant. Tango felt his mind get all fuzzy as a distant memory clawed at his brain.

“Why do the good ones always die?” the vex sighed, running a hand through his messy brown hair.

Tango felt his mind slip.

He’d been asking himself that for years.

—

The hot netherack was beginning to scorch his boots. They were nice things, and at this point, a couple years old. He’d gotten them from a very powerful Warlord in the region. Thanks to her, strangely enough, Tango survived. This is what he got for willingly traveling through a lava valley. The teetering edge of the steep precipice was going to give the Hellion a heart attack.

The scorching lava bubbled and flared angrily at him. But he was reaching the end of it. And soon, he’d be in a miraculous Crimson forest. He had plenty of Warped ‘shrooms on him, so he wasn’t afraid of dying of thirst.

When his feet finally hit steadier ground, he could almost cry. Sighing, he strode through the blood red trees and fauna. He picked plenty of crimson berries and stuffed them in his pockets. He then picked a very ripe cluster and practically scarfed them down. He didn’t take much time to breathe, because why would he need to?

With a fuller belly, and a much clearer head, Tango continued on his daily trek to nowhere in particular, but hopefully a nether town by a portal into Hub. The soft glow from the luminescent bulbs of fungus allowed for just enough light to see. Tango expertly weaved through the denser parts of the brush.

Swatting some vines out of the way, the Hellion was then face to face with a camp settlement.

A dilemma.

He could either A. Run away as far as possible and not even bother or B. Try to rest there because he was getting terribly exhausted. As much as running wounded safer, Tango was just tired from running all the time, if he was honest. So he sucked in a breath, and began walking. He tried to keep his steps quiet as he approached, because he didn’t want to startle the Hellions staying there. But, at a certain point, stealth became pretty irrelevant considering the Hellions just knew he was there.

It was their sixth sense.

“Oí, whatcha want, little man?” The biggest Hellion called, his body language deceivingly calm. Tango felt nausea build up in his throat, but by hellfire he’d keep it quiet. Didn’t want anyone knowing he was weak or anything.

“I just want to stay for a night,” Tango stated, wrangling his own vocal cords not to sound shaken as he spoke. The biggest, and the one Tango assumed was the leader, grimaced. The leader thought for a second before groaning and rolling his eyes.

“Look, kid, ya better have some damn shrooms and jerky on ya to take care of yurself, or ya can’t stay,” the leader spoke, his voice booming and harsh.

“I have water and food. I just need a safe place,” Tango explained, slowly walking forward.

The leader looked him up and down and then burst out laughing, “Hear this, Teeko? Kid’s got everythin’ he needs. C’mon, kid, yur welcome here!”

Tango sighed in relief and walked into the center of the camp. He was now in the line of sight of three new Hellions. Two scruffy ones that were stick thin, and a much more well fed one with billowing robes.

The scrawny ones were hideous things, their skin scarred to hell and back with missing teeth and eyes. Their ears were scratched up with massive chunks taken out of them. Their clothes were much more raggedy compared to the leader.

The one with robes was plump, dignified, and looked like he needed to be taught a lesson on the nether. Because he looked way too healthy to have such an attitude about him.

The leader pat the spot on his log next to him. Tango hesitantly took it. Immediately his waist had a hand firmly on it. He almost recoiled. Almost. It wasn’t smart to reject a Hellion like this’s advances. Tango knew that personally.

A little too personally.

So he was barely able to keep his negative reaction under control. The leader had this evil grin on his face, and suddenly Tango regretted coming here. The leader looked him up and down, clearly enjoying whatever Tango had to offer. He told himself to just deal with it until there was an out.

“At least yur not like this asshole, kid,” one of the scrawny ones remarked, pointing to the Hellion with robes on. The Hellion with robes rolled his eyes.

“Yea, he ain’t got any food. The fucker’s leeching on us,” the other scrawny one crowed, a vicious sneer on his face.

Tango let out a huff of amusement, although it was strained, “Why keep him around if he’s a leech?”

“‘Cause he’s funny,” the leader spoke up, his hand traveling to Tango’s thigh. Another hand. Just another hand. Tango felt sick.

“Yea, kid, he’s a Ryea worshipper,” the scrawny one to the right sneered, a wicked snicker leaving his throat.

A Ryea worshipper? Like a real one? Those existed? Who in the nine hells even worshipped her anymore? Especially after the damned overworld showed up.

“Ryea will deliver us from evil,” the worshipper muttered, his eyes angrily darting back and forth between the leader and the two scrawny ones, “Mother and Father told me as such. We just need to wait and believe she will be our salvation.”

There was silence. And then uproarious laughter. Tango even shared a few snickers at the prospect, despite the hand on him.

“The Ryea Dick apparently was raised in a damn monastery! Never starved once in his childhood. What a softie…” the scrawny one to the left grimaced, shoving the worshipper in the legs with his foot.

“Be nice, Teeko, the worshipper can clearly barely take care of himself. Let’s treat him with the sweetness he deserves,” the leader smirked before turning his attention to Tango, “this guy is on a mission to convert people back to Ryea. Isn’t that annoyin’?”

“Ah- yea, I mean, why bother with that? You know what they do to your kind out here right?” Tango pressed, his gaze meeting the worshipper’s.

“Ugh, I’m simply trying to follow in the footsteps of my very imperfect parents. Ryea calls to love your parents, you know,” the worshipper tisked, flicking his tail in irritation.

“No one was even talking about that, you dick. God, the entitlement on this guy, huh, RyaTek?” The scrawny one on the left chided, looking at the one on the right.

So the one on the left was Teeko and the one on the right was RyaTek. That was… very good information.

“I know, right? His parents should’ve beat him more. Did you have one of them good mamas, asshole?” RyaTek asked, his lips pulling up into a vile sneer.

“My mother was flawed, but I do love her. Why are you asking me this? Why not ask the measly child over there. He’s so skinny, you could blow him away,” the worshipper complained, earning a death stare from Teeko. The worshipper did not notice.

“Well, my dad was an asshole. Just like every single Hellion’s dad. But my mom was a saint, but she-“ Tango was cut off by RyaTek.

“What’s with these kids nowadays? They have a good mama and they feel the need to preach it to the world! Parents just need to his their kids more. I’ll tell ya, Grava, we should just kill these two and put ‘em out of their misery. Kid’s too nice and the asshole is a Ryea worshipper. We’d be the best people they meet, let’s be honest. We’d be hero’s to kill ‘em!” RyaTek argued, earning a harsh shove from Teeko.

“C’mon, Boss has his eyes on the kid! Read a damn room,” Teeko hissed.

Tango felt sick.

“No, we won’t be killing the kid. He’s too much of a cutie to do that to. Besides, he can clearly take care of himself. He came here fully prepared, he just needed a bed. Maybe his dad hit him enough to balance out the good from his mom,” The leader, Grava, joked, earning uproarious laughter from his buds. The worshipper looked vaguely offended.

“How about you and the asshole go get some rest in Teeko’s tent over there, hm? He’ll sleep in Ryatek’s tent with him. And I’ll be in my tent right over there if you wanna come join me, kid,” Grava explained, letting his hand linger on Tango’s body before standing up and walking off.

Teeko and RyaTek grumbled about having. To sleep in the same tent but obliged to their leader’s word. Tango locked eyes with the worshipper who began to stand and walk over to the tent.

Tango later there silently while the worshipper prayed to Ryea. He felt bad for the guy. It was obvious the Ryea guy wouldn’t survive long. He was too soft for the nether. The fact that the Hellions at this camp didn’t kill him on sight was a miracle, especially with him asking for food and water.

But Tango simply shut his eyes and hoped for a better tomorrow.

That tomorrow came, but it came to him face to face with a corpse. Turns out the Hellions would kill him, but just in his sleep. The worshipper’s eyes were bulging out of his head and his neck had a deep slit in it. He was bent a weird way, and the stench of new rot filled Tango’s nose. He shot up, scrambling out of the tent in a panic.

The sound of laughter caught his attention next. Teeko was covered in blood and was showing his camp mates the stuff in the corpse’s pockets. RyaTek looked like he wanted Tango dead too.

But Grava? He had these eyes that were filled with sultry intrigue. Tango felt sick again. He sucked the back of his teeth and grinned, “He had to go, kid. He wasn’t gonna live in a place like this.”

“Oh, and the bastard was annoying to high hell. We did him a favor by makin’ it quick,” Teeko quickly added, “and besides, look! He had a brinha wood necklace! I’ve never seen brinha wood in my whole life!”

Tango had seen the obsidian colored wood before. His mother owned a pendant of it. Tango always loved brinha wood. His mother told him stories about how the tree used to grow everywhere before the humans arrived. Back then, it was super common, but very important, because…

Tango blinked back into reality, “I… why didn’t you kill me?”

“Because yur cute,” Grava smirked, walking over to Tango to cup his face, “I would’ve ended ya myself if not for that. The good ones always die in a place like this, and yur too good for yur own good, kid.”

The good ones always die in a place like this.

Tango didn’t escape that camp for five days. By the end of it, he grew to hate Grava. He never stopped at a camp again. It was too risky. And the thought of meeting another Hellion like Grava, one who’d take and take without thinking, made Tango sick.

—-//—-///—-//—-

Hellion Biology Lesson 10: Fire manipulation

One of the Hellion’s most notable abilities, is the ability to manipulate and produce fire. Of course, it is more of a trick rather than true manipulation. It was once believed that Hellions were one of the only humanoid species that were magical by nature. It was later discovered that a Hellion’s fire production is purely scientific.

A Hellion’s ability to produce fire is through a certain flammable oil that they secrete in their hair, tail, and hands. This oil not only exists as the fuel for the fire, but also serves as a very powerful heat protectant. Much smaller quantities spread over wider areas can be seen all over the Hellion’s body. This keeps them from getting totally burned from any and all flames.

Once the oil is lit, the pores will continue to secrete it as to create a never ending food source for the flames. These flames themselves are sparked when the Hellion’s heart, their internal flame, concentrates a certain amount of heat into their hands.

This ability can also be easily controlled through the amount of oil secreted. By flexing the hands a certain way, the pores of the Hellion will open or close more and thus strengthen the fire or allow it to wane. This is truly an incredibly fascinating facet of their abilities.

Of course, it must be noted that they can’t produce the same kind of fire that a well respected and well trained wizard could. Their fire abilities are much less powerful than basic pyromancy. So, don’t think that they are more skilled than a more seasoned magic user.

—-//—-///—-//—-

The moon smiled down at them with a toothy smile. The trees blocked its view just enough. The two men had been making their way back to the citadel by foot again. Now, they were in the home stretch. The wind was howling wildly, the snow was pounding against them. And the monsters? They could be seen spawning in the distance.

The snow crunched beneath both of their feet, and the large silhouette of his castle loomed in the distance. They were close, really close, but the shining stars didn’t provide enough light to scare off the hostile mobs. Obviously.

Tango was beginning to grow anxious, the fur on the back of his neck standing up on end, and this protective surge pumped through his body. He was not about to let Jimmy die. They’d respawn, sure, but he couldn’t stand the idea. He already had enough nightmares about him dying due to Double Life.

He felt his glowing blue eye trace over Jimmy’s darkened frame. His body was rigid from the cold and the snarling beasts around them.

“Are you good, Love?” the Hellion asked, a protective hand reaching around Jim’s waist.

The canary nodded and grimaced, pulling out a shield, “Yep! Just trying not to die from skeletons!”

A loud thunk! could be heard on the opposite side of the shield. Tango’s heart jumped and a terrified chirp could be heard from his boyfriend. A worried glance was spared his way and Jimmy shook off the concern, “I’m alright!”

The zombies and creepers were getting way too close, and the Hellion realized there were too many to take on all at once. If he tried, it was no question that Tango would die, and sure, while they would respawn, it was gonna be a pain in the ass to come and get their stuff. Flicker needed her Jellie stuff! So, what could he do? Think, Tango, think!

…

Aha! His fire!

The Hellion felt his hair ignite into a large pyre and he extended his free hand to light it too. The icy blue flames snaked up in between his finger tips. The oils in his palm burned, and Tango could smell the burning. After all of these years, the smell of burning oil was a smell of reassurance. Only he could smell it, because no one else knew what to look for. The zombies faltered, watching the fire dance with intense hatred. The spiders scampered off due to the bright light, and the creepers hissed viscously at the sight.

Tango laughed maniacally and waved the flames in their faces, watching each one scamper off to their own respective shadow.

Jimmy audibly sighed in relief before sucking that breath right in at the sensation of an arrow being shot into his shield, “Hurry, hurry! We’re almost to the bridge!”

Tango’s bridge had some vague mob protection, meaning that once they touched foot onto the smooth stones, they’d be relatively safe. It was a protection spell the Hellion had produced ages ago. Took him ages to make it, too. Tango and Jimmy booked it, weaving through the conifer trees and the sweet berry bushes covered in a thick layer of snow. The white, powdery ice sprayed off of the branches in response to their bodies flying through the trees.

The fire worked great to ward off most of the angry monsters, but the skeleton arrows proved to be troublesome. Tango felt them whizzing all around him, and each time the air rushed past his face, his stomach would drop. Thank Stars skeletons had shit aim.

The edge of the bridge was in sight. Tango’s and Jimmy’s legs pumped against the slick snow. Tango’s lungs were burning badly from the frigid, icy air. His fire was doing fine to heat him up, and the fire in his hands he was using to ward off the beasts was keeping his hands decently warm. But to be in his lovely citadel would be amazing.

And after the entire day, he yearned to be with Flicker again.

It honestly pisses him off how bad he wanted to be back in his citadel. Every time, it was always him who suggested a break, but each time, the seconds spent apart from Flicker drove him absolutely mad. He honestly wished he didn’t agree to Scar babysitting Flick so he could get more time with her. But that sounded ridiculous, didn’t it? Because it’s not like Tango… loved Flicker, right?

Tango slipped and slid across the icy stones of the bridge. Jimmy gasped, still raising the shield to protect them from any stray arrows. The canary dragged the Hellion back, making sure they were too far for the Skeletons to shoot at them.

A beat of silence.

“We’re never taking the scenic route ever again,” the Hellion groaned against the stones, flipping over on his back and staring at the stars. At this point, he was so cold, his tail was a raging inferno.

“Nope. Bad idea,” Jimmy groaned, offering the Hellion a hand, hoisting Tango up and onto his feet.

Tango huffed for a few more moments, desperately trying to catch his breath. Then, he began walking towards the castle. Jimmy followed suit, allowing the shield to dissipate back into his inventory. The ice snapped and crackled beneath them in the rhythmic pattern of their steps. The moonlight shone on the glossy surface, reflecting beautiful images of cool light. Tango’s fire gently dissipated into a steady pyre. Jimmy huddled closer for heat.

“Next time,” the canary began, “pick a place that’s warmer,”

Tango chuckled, looping his arm with Jim’s, “Oh I will,”

All the Hellion could think about was getting back to Flicker. He and Jim didn’t even have the date they planned for. Is this what parenting was like? Never having any time for yourself, but being okay with that? Because, if you asked Tango if he’d like to spend every waking hour in the presence of a baby, he’d tell you to eff yourself and let him get back to his redstone. But now, the thought of going back to Decked Out 2 brought him unbelievable amounts of stress.

Damn.

That wasn’t good.

“Hey, Tango?” Jim piped up, his words hesitant, “I was wondering…”

“Hm?”

“Well, back in Scarland, after we were looking at the flowers, you kinda zoned out. And the whole walk back you were acting weird. I was uh… wondering what that might have been about?” Jimmy questioned, his eyes finding their way comfortably to the floor.

Tango almost heaved. He really had to check that nausea issue he had, because it was really starting to bother him. He cleared his throat, trying to find the best vague explanation, “Just uh… I remembered something,”

Fuck. That was a horrible explanation.

“Like…? You can tell me these things. You know,” the canary pressed, a comforting wing being draped behind the Hellion’s back.

”TangoTek, yur name is? How cute. Like RyaTek, huh?” Grava smiled, a hand looping around Tango’s body. Sick, sick, sick.

Teeko laughed and jabbed Tango in the side with his knuckles, “Yur mama must have been a bad mama! Yur name is a fucking joke!”

Tango pretended to laugh and agree just so they’d stop and move on.

“Ah- nothing, really,” Tango spoke, his voice a little more firm. His hands shook and his heart began to race. He felt his own body back away from Jim’s. He couldn’t imagine touching someone right now. He was scared he’d mistake Jim’s hands with the hands.

Jimmy’s eyes twisted with some sort of worry or disappointment. Jim backed up too, and he stared at his hands. Like they had betrayed him. Tango felt sick again but for a completely different reason. He was such a bad boyfriend.

“I don’t see why you can’t tell me these things, Tango. I… I feel like I’m trustworthy, no?” Jim wondered, his face twisting into that of hurt. Tango hugged himself and looked away.

“You are, it’s just… there are things that have happened… I would just rather not say-“

“Why not?”

“Because I said no,”

“I know, but I’d like to feel like you’d tell me if something went wrong!”

“I can’t tell you-“

“Why not?!”

“Because I’m scared, okay?”

Silence.

Jimmy didn’t deserve such a monumental fuck up like him.

They walked the rest of the way there in complete and total silence. More dreadful silence. They walked homes together a foot apart and with eyes on opposite sides of the bridge.

They walked home separate.

And Tango just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

—

“Ah! She was such an angel! You don’t have to worry in the slightest! Literally the best experience with a baby I’ve ever had,” Impulse gushed, handing Flicker over to Tango.

He honestly should’ve expected as such. Flicker had a tendency to get along with just about everyone. She was pretty sociable in that way. But it was more than clear with how the way Impulse was looking at her, he was smitten.

Again, he really should’ve expected as much. Considering Impulse was such a softie, and desperately needed to keep his emotions in check. At least, in Tango’s opinion.

The Hellion simply laughed and happily took her, fighting every muscle in his body to not smell her, “Well, she seems to like you a lot, man,”

He felt like such a weirdo with how much he liked her smell. Was that normal? Or was that more than weird?

“Stars, Skizz would love her. I wish we could invite him to Hermitcraft. I really ought to talk to Xisuma about that,” the imp mumbled, his mind already elsewhere.

Jimmy clapped his hands together, his smile bright and lively and his eyes the exact opposite, “Well! It’s about time we put her down for bed, huh?”

Tango got the sense that Jimmy wanted everyone besides his boyfriend and baby gone. Tango also got the sense that intense feeling came from their little moment on the bridge.

“Oh, sure, let’s put her down so we can chat! It’s been a while,” Impulse offered, beginning to walk toward’s Flicker’s crib. Jimmy stopped him, taking her from his arms and having a very firm, passive aggressive smile.

“Nope! It’s time to leave!” He said.

The Hellion glanced at Impulse who looked a little perplexed at Jimmy’s odd amount of persistence. Nevertheless, the imp nodded and grabbed his stuff, giving Jim and Tango a half wave, “Just call if you need something else, alright?”

Impulse opened the window, allowing for the cold, billowing wind to seep into their room. Without missing a beat, the imp dived out of the castle window. Jimmy loudly groaned and plopped the screaming baby into Tango’s arms. He scrambled over to the gusts of frigid air to close the window. When closed, the avian’s hands remained on the chilled glass for a while, his head hung between his arms.

He looked so damn tired.

His golden wings were ruffled and unkempt. Probably from their run home. Tango would need to preen him again.

Flicker apparently didn’t like the cold air that came from the window, because she started bawling. All of those days comfy in warm clothes and rooms clearly spoiled the baby. A little part of Tango was happy that she was a little spoiled in that way.

Jimmy pushed his back against the window and slid down against it, stopping at the floor and slouching into a pathetic heap. He looked so overwhelmed. And that was almost certainly Tango’s fault. His body shook a bit in this rhythmic pattern of… crying?

How could he fix this? How could he even attempt to remedy such a terrible situation? He’d worried his boyfriend so much, and now his baby was crying. The poor avian was probably more than overstimulated.

“Shhhh… Flicker, please,” the Hellion began to beg, gently caressing her face and grimacing when that didn’t work, “please stop crying.”

A little part of him begged so that Jimmy would stop crying to. How bad had the avian been struggling these past few days? Bonding with a baby he could never have? Tango strode over and plopped onto their bed, hoping to the Stars that maybe, just maybe, Flicker would stop wailing.

Why couldn’t Tango have one goddamn nice moment?

“Flicker…” he whispered, tears of frustration prickling in the corners of his eyes, “please quiet down.”

The baby refused Tango’s hands on her neck. She did not want to be calm, she just wanted to cry. Normally, Tango would be inclined to let her get her feels out. But with Jimmy breaking down over by the windows, he wanted to shut Flick up more than anything.

Jimmy was his top priority.

He tried rocking, shushing, sweet words, and another attempt to pinch her nape. Nothing. The Hellion was so hopeless. He remembered how the day felt off. This was it, he deduced, this is what his mind was warning him about. A seemingly impossible situation. Tango hung his head. He felt the tears well up. He felt the panic. He felt the pain.

The corners of his vision started to splotch with black from him holding his breath. He hadn’t realized he had stopped breathing. This was it. Another mental breakdown. This time, in front of Jimmy and the baby.

He felt so selfish.

So alone.

…

…….

A hand on his. He looked up, but no one. Hallucination. A head on his shoulder. Hallucination. A soft voice in his ear humming a familiar tune. Hallucination.

…He remembers this song.

He still clearly recalled it as his favorite song. The words danced in his mind. They sat anticipating on his lips. And dear god, Tango wanted to just let go.

But it wouldn’t be the Hellion singing, no. Not when the soft voice in his ear was already mumbling the melody. This simple tune was one he’d hear after his father would hurt him and his mom. Tango wanted to sing Flicker a lullaby. His lullaby. The one his mother sang.

The Hellion hesitantly opened his mouth, his throat closed and he strained to sing the first note.

Flicker wailed. Jimmy wouldn’t even look up. He was trembling.

“Upon,” He began, his voice scratchy and forced, “a desert dune,”

Flicker didn’t stop crying, but she stilled for a moment. The canary stopped, however, and leaned his head up just enough for Tango to catch a glimpse of his red eyes.

“Lay the son of a saint,” he formed the sentences in his head while translating the lyrics into English. His voice was bad, in his opinion, but it actually captivated Flicker enough to get her to stop for a moment.

“Starved,” Tango whispered, the harsh word sending chills up his spine, “and tired of fighting.”

He brushed Flicker’s hair from her face as he gave her the plushie back, “An angel long forgotten.”

“Kissed his head,”

Flicker closed her eyes.

“And said…”

Jimmy looked up from his knees. His eyes were splotchy and red. But… he looked nevertheless fascinated.

“Goodnight.”

Flicker calmed down, now staring at Tango with bright red eyes that looked at him like he could do no wrong. She didn’t coo or giggle or babble. She just stared. Her cheeks were a little wet. Tango brushed away any stray moisture with his thumb.

The avian sat up straighter, clearing his throat and moving his gaze up to the ceiling. Tango’s heart was still racing, but it was all more comfortable now. Jim opened and closed his moth several times, trying to find the right words. The canary looked almost guilty for breaking down like that, but the Hellion could never blame him. He couldn’t imagine what Jimmy might have been feeling these past few days. Probably didn’t help that Tango was being such a weird prick today.

But the avian just looked back into Tango’s bright blue eyes.

“I didn’t know you could sing,”

Chapter Text

Vague memories of some forgotten moment. Fragments of what his brain hid away. Pieces of his trauma laid out like a deadly stone path. Each memory in a shard of blueish glass reflecting his face in its anguish. A boney, ashy hand pointed over his shoulder and commanded him to walk.

There was no side to side, no up or down. It was all a black void of empty longing. The pure blackness shifted like clouds of pain in water.

Tango stepped forward, and the shards pierced his foot. His blood spilled in between the cracks, the colors blending together like a macabre mosaic. There was no pain; not anymore. The pieces of glass cut, and tore, and gauged into his flesh as he went forward. But there was no pain; not anymore.

In front of him appeared his mother, floating like a ghost. She reached out, a scarred bloody hand almost touching his face. He shut his eyes. Soft, gentle fingertips graced his cheek. Silent tears fell down Tango’s face. There was no pain; not anymore.

“Tango, you can’t stay here anymore,” she whispered, placing a soft kiss to the tip of his nose, “there is a life you must care for now.”

“It’s so comfortable here, mama,” he mumbled, hands reaching up to hold her closer. Anything to be closer.

“Your feet are bleeding, TangoTek. What is so comfortable?” She spoke, a little louder, and a little more pleading. Her feet touched the path of glass. Her feet bled with his. She held him closer. His head was placed in the crook of her neck, and his arms loosely gripped around her back. He breathed in. He could almost smell her. There was no pain; not anymore.

“What will happen if I leave?” He wondered, looking up and into her eyes.

They were black, empty sockets. She smiled, and a strand of her straight, dull, red hair fell in front of her face.

“Your name is older than our ancestors,” she whispered, “do you know why I chose it to be yours?”

Tango hung his head, tears rolling and dripping off the tip of his nose.

“No, mama. I never will,”

—

They had woken up at around the same time; Jimmy a little before Tango.

The Hellion stared dead into the wall, his back facing away from the avian. Jim was faced away from Tango as well, but he had Flicker in his arms. They didn’t speak. They couldn’t find the words.

Tango looked over his shoulder and looked at the other man’s slouched form. His wings were draped across the bed, loose against his back. Soft coos could be heard. The avian kind. Tango could hear two different voices. It was like watching Jim and Grian talk to each other. A soft chirp from Jim, and an even softer one from Flick. It was incredible how she was able to effortlessly copy the other man.

Tango remembered the first time he saw Grian and Jimmy ‘talk’ to each other in that way. It was during the Life Games, mostly. An annoyed chitter here, and then an immediate response through a chirp. A stressed squawk here and a beckoning trill there. Tango felt like he was listening to Morse code. He felt this jealousy, too. That they could have that bond simply through being an avian. Having that brotherhood, the ‘solidarity’, he supposed, between one another that naturally.

He couldn’t imagine befriending another Hellion and just… understanding each other in ways others couldn’t. He supposed that’s was Hellspeak was for, but honestly? He never wanted to speak that language again. Maybe he was a bad person for that. For abandoning his ‘people’ like that. But, how could he find that strength within himself?

To speak the language his father did willingly? He already had a hard time looking at himself. He didn’t need to see his father’s eyes in his own.

He turned, and there he was. In the mirror.

His vision was so blurred. He couldn’t tell if he was looking at his father’s grimace or his own frown. He couldn’t discern if he was staring at his father’s downturned eyebrows or his own panicked ones. Were those his eyes? His ears? His teeth? Or were they his fathers?

Were they his father’s all along?

Tango looked away from Jim’s body, and back at the wall. The memory was being shoved into the back of his mind by something. At this point in his life, Tango didn’t have to put the mental work into forgetting anymore. He kinda did in naturally.
Any bad memory, any discomfort, disappeared into the abyss of his brain.

The wall was bright with the morning sun, the yellows and oranges shifting on the surface that the Hellion built with his own hands. His shadow was outlined. Tango’s brain twisted.

”Oh, TangoTek? Remember that one time in the nether…” His shadow beckoned. He turned his head down to the floor, and he stared at his feet.

”Ignoring me? Oh, TangoTek, I know you dreamt of your mother last night. How much do you think of her? So little after everything she’s done for you, no? She kept you safe from your father. Say…” his shadow paused, the words echoing through his brain.

”You look… awfully like him don’t you? What did your mother say?” His shadow sneered, its voice pulling a memory from deep within his mind.

”You look so much like him some days. I’m sorry, Tango. But you’re… hard to look at then,” she breathed, brushing her hair from her face as she stared at him. Her form rotted in that bed frame. Her sickness, whatever in the hells it was, had taken over. These days, they had dragged on and felt like years.

It was like watching a corpse rot.

“I’m sorry, mama,” he whispered, but she quickly put her fingers over his lips.

“No. Never apologize. You will never become that man, Tango. You know why I chose your name to be the way it is, right?” She beckoned.

“Yes, you said it was because-“

A small cry from a baby. A whine. Tango blinked back into the present, audibly shifting on the bed to face the noise. The memory left Tango unbelievably nauseous. His body felt like it was collapsing on itself.

Jimmy didn’t turn around, but his shoulders grew tense. Unspoken knowing. Flicker was hungry. They would have to go down to the kitchen. And cook. Resume their routine. The routine that felt so unmistakably empty. And Tango didn’t know why.

The Hellion stood up and walked over, but Jim stayed sat. Their eyes didn’t meet. Tango held out his hands, and the canary placed the baby comfortably in them.

Padding over to the door, Tango paused and looked behind him when Jim didn’t follow. Jim’s eyes flickered up, and they almost looked nervous. Like he was worried about what the Hellion would say. Or do.

Jimmy should never, ever have to feel nervous around him. Tango pressed his lips into a very thin line. His heart raced.

Did Jimmy not… want him anymore? Was their fight really that bad? Was it even a fight? Or was Tango just insecure?

Or maybe Jimmy was upset. Maybe his eyes weren’t nervous… they were irritated. Could they be upset glances? Did Jimmy want to be alone?

“You… you coming?” the Hellion murmured, hoping, praying, Jimmy said yes.

A little part of Tango yelled at himself for not asking if the canary was okay. A bigger part of Tango was a goddamn coward.

Jimmy’s eyes flew open but he cleared his throat and played it off, “uh… yea. Yea, I’m coming.”

The walk to the kitchen wasn’t any better than the coldness of their bedroom. Nor was the kitchen itself. Tango just fell back into the muscle memory. Grabbing a bottle of the cows milk-warped mushroom formula from the fridge, and sitting at the long, sturdy table, Tango felt his eyes lock onto the back of Jimmy’s head as he cooked.

Flicker had her bottle, and she was happy. Tango was sitting and feeding her because it made her the most happy. Jimmy was cooking because it made him happy. But, if Tango was alone, what would he do to make him happy?

Redstone? Or was Redstone something he used to escape without him even realizing it? Was it what Mumbo said it was all those years ago? Was it something ‘for people whose brain moved too fast’?

What did the Hellion actually like doing? He liked having food around even when he didn’t eat it. He liked having water around even though he often didn’t drink it. He liked having a comfortable bed even when he often didn’t use it. At least, not until now.

Words sat on the back of the Hellion’s tongue. He wanted to say so much. So many questions and apologies. And strangely, he wanted to answer the avian’s inquiries. He wondered what Jim thought about at night. The mysteries Tango kept locked away, ones he assumed no one cared about, may have keeping his hermits from their sleep at night.

The horrible truths that they think of, all of the worst possibilities; did those ever make them nauseous like it made him? The Hellion then was overwhelmed with guilt. The thought of him being so damn selfish haunted him. Even Flicker’s happy sounds didn’t draw him out of his spiral of thinking.

Crunching snow and monsters all around them. The harsh glow of his blue fire on the icy snow. Brown eyes cold yet hopeful. A gaze that was filled with love. Melted chocolate drizzled on brownies. Deep, rich soil that cooled your whole body if you were buried in it.

Those eyes just wanted to hold Tango. To comfort Tango.

And Tango ran.

Because it was…

It was…

E-

The sound of a harsh clack of porcelain on wood made the Hellion jump. Flicker was already done with her bottle and was already observing the space around her with wide, curious eyes. Her tail curling and uncurling thoughtfully in a comfortable pattern. He wondered if she was kept up at night when she thought of where her mother went and why Tango was caring for her now.

He wondered if she slept better thinking she would stay.

Looking up, he was met with Jimmy’s face. Tango hadn’t seen it. He looked so tired. So worn. What were breaks if they couldn’t talk? What were breaks if honesty wasn’t on the table? What were the moments with friends and the moments alone when all Tango wanted to do was…

Was…

He felt like soda was being poured into his skull. His brain was still trying to forget, but now something was making him remember. His mind squeezed in on itself. His grip on his sense began to slip. He knew that soon, his mind would fill with cotton. And he wouldn’t be himself for hours. He wouldn’t see people- he’d see shapes-

Everything-

Was falling-

Apart-

If he didn’t have Jimmy-

If Jimmy ever considered leaving-

What would Tango do-?

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Jim asked, his eyes showing a concern Tango had never seen before, “I know you’re mad at me but-“

“Mad at you?” Tango interjected, not meaning to interrupt the guy, but being so flabbergasted at the implication that he was mad at Jimmy.

Jimmy’s eyebrows knitted, “…Yes?”

“I thought-… I thought you were mad at me!” Tango expressed, his mouth hanging slightly agape. Jimmy’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth and closed it several times, before burying his face in his hands.

Parting his fingers, Jimmy showed his remorseful eyes, “Why on earth would I be mad at you, Tango? And why didn’t you ask me or tell me?”

“Well, to answer that second question, I could ask you the same thing. Because why on earth would I ever be mad at you, love? And to answer the first question, well,” Tango paused, his body language suddenly getting rigid, “I thought you were mad at me because I didn’t… uhm… tell you about me. Like my past. Or like… how I didn’t comfort you when you needed me. I feel like- I feel like that’s valid to be mad about, so I guess I kinda assumed you were?”

Jimmy sniffed, looking at the plates in front of them. The canary then slumped, bumping into the plates across from Tango and sighing. He buried his head in his arms. The Hellion got a sudden urge to just hug him. And kiss him. And do couple-y things with him. ‘Comfort him’ he amended in his mind.

“I swore you were upset that I was so pushy with Impulse. I know how close you two are, but I… I forced him out. Even though you might have wanted to talk to him. And then I broke down because I’ve just been so…” the avian paused, obviously trying to hold back tears, “I’ve been so confused about myself lately. And I didn’t want to bother you.”

Tango quickly placed a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, his eyes twisting with guilt, “Jim. You could never bother me.”

Jimmy looked up from his arms and sighed, trying to cover his eyes. They were red.

The canary shook his head, “But you,” he paused to swallow, “you kinda shut down when you think about certain things. Don’t think I don’t notice. I know how you get. You go off to be by yourself and you come back a little more worn than before. And sometimes I worry that…”

The Hellion’s heart squeezed into something horrible. He wanted to retch.

“I worry that you don’t trust me with your heart. And I promise I’m trustworthy! I just want to know that you’d tell me if something went wrong. You’ve been… keeping things from me over these last few days. I know that you think you’re doing me a favor, but you’re not.” Jimmy spoke, his eyes now trained on the table, watching the food cool.

“Jimmy-“

“I know you don’t want to keep Flicker,” Jimmy blurted out, earning the attention of said baby, “but I just want you to know that I’ve always wanted kids. It’s been a dream of mine, and, well, Flicker seemed like the perfect opportunity to achieve that.”

“But I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to. Just… expect me to be a bit emotional for the remaining time we have her. I uh…” Jim paused, turning his head in a bashful manner, “l, as an avian, have instinctual triggers that cause hormonal stuff. Not like when you touch my back in certain spots, that’s just weird anatomy stuff left over from our bird ancestors. But this is more akin to my brain thinking that she’s my baby even though she’s not.”

The canary then straightened himself, trying to pretend like the subject didn’t bother him, “I just thought you should know.”

Tango looked down, turning the avian’s words in his head. He should’ve expected this, really. He shouldn’t have needed Jimmy to explain this to him. Of course Jimmy would think of Flick as his daughter, it was in their blood. He supposed him, as a Hellion, couldn’t love Flick the way he could. Right?

That made the most sense.

“My point is,” Jim quickly added on, “I need you to know that now is not the time to keep things from me. I’m, and I don’t mean this to guilt trip you into answering my questions, kinda an emotional slash hormonal wreck right now, and I’ve been acting way out of my norm. It’s so bad even Scar noticed when we did the building competition.”

The Hellion visibly grimaced, and Jimmy nodded.

“I know. I thought you were mad at me this morning because you didn’t speak to me. And I didn’t speak to you because you’re hard to talk to when upset. I’ve learned that throughout the time we’ve been together. See how that can create a cycle?” The canary asked, earning a curt nod from his boyfriend. Tango almost felt like he was being scolded at by a teacher.

Jimmy relaxed a little, and the Hellion almost felt glad that the other man was getting more comfortable with how he spoke. The canary cleared his throat, “And I don’t expect you to tell me everything. You’ve known some of the hermits for a decade, and you haven’t told them. But,” he paused for a moment, “as your boyfriend, I feel like I’m entitled to something. Because we can’t function as a team if there’s no honesty. And our ‘breaks’ aren’t going to get any easier if we don’t know what’s bothering each other.”

“The only reason I didn’t ask before was because I never wanted to hurt you. And I know how much the past made you hurt. I could see it,” the avian whispered, placing a hand on Tango’s, “It’s just now… you look like you want to kill someone.”

A wave of nausea hit the Hellion at the fact that Jimmy thought he looked ‘violent’. Jim noticed the discomfort and cleared his throat.

“By ‘someone’, I mean ‘yourself’, Tango,” the canary amended, making the shorter man’s shoulders stiffen. There was no way around this. Tango would have to say something. It wouldn’t be fair to Jimmy to not speak. He supposed, that after these past couple days, it would be good for him to talk.

This morning was hell, if the Hellion was honest.

Flicker reached up, her hands focused on Tango’s face. The Hellion adjusted his arms and just as he was about to look back up to Jimmy, two tiny hands found their way to his cheeks. Two big eyes stared into his. One little mouth curved into a smile. And a tail, with fire, swished back and forth. She made these sounds at him. Ones that sounded almost like ‘papa’ or ‘baba’ if the Hellion really wanted to dream of that kinda life. Realistically, Flicker was just trying to feel new sounds in her mouth. She was always so curious, wasn’t she?

“I… I’m scared of reliving some things,” Tango began, his voice now beginning to shake, “and I’ve always believed it’d be better if I just forgot. I’m not ready to uh… tell you some things. I don’t know when I’ll be ready. But know I trust you more than anything.”

Jimmy’s eyes twisted with some form of disappointment. He thought Tango wouldn’t continue. The Hellion supposed be deserved such little faith. But as Jimmy opened his mouth to talk, but Tango interjected, “When I first suggested I have a day off to code, it was like an itch. Like I needed to get away. That’s what redstone is to me; an escape.”

“And to be clear,” Tango continued, staring into Flicker’s eyes and avoiding Jim’s, “I wasn’t trying to get away from you two necessarily. I just needed alone time. But, after a while, all I could think about was you two. I didn’t come back up from coding because, well, I didn’t want to waste any time. But then uh…”

Tango paused, shifting anxiously. Jim’s eyes follows the movement of his shoulders, of how he lowered Flick down away from his face. How his hair shimmered a bit brighter, almost like he was about to combust into flames. The Hellion swallowed back bile, “Xisuma called. He, uh, saw that I had left the Citadel. Or at least the general proximity of where we had usually been. He sounded tired. Out of it. And, uh, angry. He yelled at me and said some unsavory things. I know he’s been stressed lately. I understand that. But he can’t-“

Jimmy placed a hand on Tango’s cheek and brushed away a tear that he didn’t know was there.

“But he can’t do that,” the avian finished for him.

Jimmy was getting progressively harder to not kiss.

“Yea… well, I tried to keep it under wraps. But it kinda bothered me. And that was the day Flick’s hair changed,” the Hellion went on, gently scratching Flick’s scalp with the pads of his fingers, “and I was so happy. I know you don’t know the specifics, but it kinda means she’s getting a lot healthier. Now I’m just hopin’ it’ll turn yellow.”

Tango couldn’t wipe the goofy smile on his face even if he tried. He felt like a proud dad-

No. He can’t. He shouldn’t.

“Then I felt bad for takin’ a break and I pushed you to take one. I, uh, didn’t tell you that I mainly wanted to just be with her. Alone,” Tango quietly admitted, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Jimmy’s eyebrows raised in shock before melting into something soft, “I get it. It was nice being with her when you were gone.”

“Yea, well, when I went to buy redstone, I met Mumbo, as you know, and we spoke for a bit. Felt wrong to talk about the stuff he told me ‘bout. Still does. All I’ll say is that he’s been having it pretty rough. And he’s the one that convinced me to hire a babysitter. Though, I think he’s better at taking breaks than me, because yesterday was… woof,” Tango huffed, leaning back in his chair.

“I feel like we can’t ignore yesterday,” Jimmy mumbled, looking just as winded as the Hellion. It kinda felt… nice to relate to another soul like this. To admit that something felt mutually bad.

“No, we can’t. Uh, I really thought having a day to ourselves would be good for us. And then… it was so weird, knowing that it was Impulse and not one of us taking care of her, I think it put me on edge? I don’t know, I couldn’t place that wrong feeling all day,” Tango sighed, bringing Flick up to his chest.

The canary’s eyes shifted for a moment. It wasn’t obvious, or slow. It was quick. It was a look of realization, almost, before quickly being snuffed out. Tango didn’t pay too much mind to it, instead brining Flick up closer to his face so he could smell her smell. A blanket of soft ash and fire was placed over him and warmed him up just right.

Stars, this felt so right.

Tango relaxed, visibly, and brought his eyes up to finally lock with Jimmy’s, “I just wanted to be near her. I was, I’ll admit, pretty aggressive towards Scar. And, uh, you. On the bridge. That wasn’t… I know you were just trying to help. It’s just, there are things that happened that I think are better fit in the past. And, I want to be clear with you, it’s not because I don’t trust you or that you’re doing something wrong. Because you’re not. It’s something that’s wrong with me. It’s why I can’t keep her. Why I can’t love her. It’s something I don’t think I can change.”

Whatever was left of Jim’s initial confidence or fervor fizzled in that moment. He slouched, and he channeled whatever disappointment into plating the food. His wings went rigid. His brown eyes weren’t as warm. The Hellion felt a hint of worry that he might have killed the man.

But the canary paused, his gaze flickering back up to Tango’s, and both men held their breath. There was something they both wanted to say. For Tango, it was something he’d been itching, crying, hoping to say for years. For Jim, the Hellion wasn’t too sure.

The avian sighed, and looked into Tango’s eyes, the glint in them something challenging, “What if you can?”

What if?

Tango couldn’t live on what ifs.

“If I could change?”

“Yes,”

“…”

“I’ve seen it a million times. There’s a violence in me. In my blood-“ Tango paused, his voice unable to continue. No. Not now. He couldn’t say that now.

”You… you fucking monster,” his father muttered, his eyes watering, “what did you fucking do?!”

“I didn’t-“ Tango pleaded, but it was already being cut off by father’s furious eyes.

“This is what I get, huh?” He muttered. A low, threatening growl slipped from his throat.

“But at least I get to do what I’ve been waiting to do for these last few weeks. What I’ve been itching to do,” He snarled, grabbing Tango’s collar and ripping him from the big bed.

“Momma can’t save you now, huh?” He asked, tears flowing down his face.

For the first time, Tango found it in himself to fight. Maybe it was the last time ever he truly, honestly, wanted to live. His own face twisted into something new. Something older.

“She hated you, and you know it,” Tango whispered, an angry scowl etching its way onto his face, “and now I hate you as much as you hate me.”

His small body hung so limply from father’s grasp. A look of shock, and then impressed. Father laughed, this evil, sickening laugh, “You think you’re so grown. So righteous. You’ll know my pain. Temper runs in our blood. I can’t wait for the day that you hurt something you love. Like I hurt your mother.”

His father brought Tango closer, putting his mouth right against the boy’s ear, “I can’t fucking wait.”

Tango snapped himself back. The canary’s eyes were a little wide. Almost like he wasn’t expecting to see the man zone out like that mid-conversation. Though, Tango swears he’s done that before. The Hellion simply brought the sleepy baby closer to his nose. Her small body acting as a great weight to his chest.

“You don’t have to say, Tango. Just… promise me that if something is really bothering you, even if it’s about Flick, just tell me,” Jimmy spoke, his smile turning truly genuine for what feels like the first time in hours.

Tango calmed his heart.

“I can do that,”

—

Turns out communication rocks. Because once Tango and Jim arrived back into their room to relax and not think about anyone but themselves for the day, the Hellion didn’t feel like he was lying to his boyfriend. He felt like the invisible barrier between them was now only at knee height.

The room felt lighter. He felt lighter. Even with all of the unwelcome memories and conversations, he felt like he could walk on clouds.

They had mutually agreed that babysitters and breaks and regular schedules could wait for a few days because they had lounging around to do. And, if they ever needed to go outside, they swore up and down that they’d tell the other person, and that they could go outside.

Because apparently they had been downplaying their need for sunlight these last few days like crazy.

Again, communication rocks.

Alas. There were still things Tango refused to open up about. Things from his childhood. Things from his adolescence. Things from his young adult life. But the Hellion knew Jim was thankful that he opened up at all. Because Stars know he needed to. And the Hellion was content with keeping some secrets and past experiences just that. Secrets.

But as Tango flopped onto the bed, baby in arms, Jimmy didn’t follow. Instead he stood over the foot of the bed with a weird look on his face. He placed his hands on his hips, almost defiantly, as me mumbled, “I don’t wanna get on the bed, ‘cause I feel dirty.”

Tango raised an eyebrow, almost amused, and huffed out a half-laugh, “Okay? If you want, you can go take a shower. I’ll just be with Flick,”

“Yea but,” the avian slumped, “I wanna cuddle. I don’t wanna shower.”

Tango sat up, “Just go take one. I’ll hold down the fort. You’ll be back, baby.”

Jimmy groaned, tossing off his shirt and launching it into Tango’s face. The Hellion laughed, picking the shirt up and listening to Flicker’s sneeze.

The Hellion watched his boyfriend amble into the bathroom, his messy golden wings trailing behind him.

“You’re preening me after this,” Jim called, earning a hum in response. Tango was more preoccupied with his communicator buzzing in his pocket. And the baby.

Turns out, Scar has a big mouth, and he rattled off to anyone that would listen that Tango and Jimmy were open to babysitters now and that he had first dibs. The Hellion stared at the screen, and at the hundreds of notifications that asked if they were open to another babysitter.

“What are we gonna do, Flick? Turns out, everyone wants to see you. Don’t blame ‘em, though,” the Hellion sighed, not bothering to reply to the slough of messages from friends. Today was a day of watching tv and taking care of babies.

Tango flopped back, placing Flick on his chest and sighing in a sense of intense comfort. It would be pointless trying to hold his purrs back. Really, it would be entirely futile. The only thing he could do was make sure they were quieter than the sounds of rushing water from the other room.

The whole moment screamed dejavú. The last time this happened, X had yelled at him. Tango couldn’t even recall what it was about. Maybe he was trying to forget on purpose. But he didn’t care. He just felt her chest rise against his and her heartbeat patter on his bare skin.

His chest rumbled with contentment. His brain was filled with cotton, but the good kind. It wasn’t the kind of cotton that protected him when his world fell apart; it was the cotton that sent calmness through his blood. The kind that made him press his nose against her hair.

Taking in a large breath, all he could smell was her. She was already purring, too, leaving them both practically useless. Tango wrapped himself and her in a tight blanket wrap, and dear Stars, he’d never felt more relaxed in his life.

Her soft breaths brushed against his collar bone. Her tail was curled in this relaxed spiral pattern. Her orange hair shimmered in this light, and if Tango wanted to be hopeful, it almost looked yellow.

Admittedly, Tango felt weird with Flicker. Something was wrong with his brain when she was close to him. It was like he was filled with pillow fluff or flowers. The Hellion just wanted to be with her. But he didn’t know what that meant.

What could it mean? To desire nothing more than to be with a baby?

There was a thought, a possibility, that maybe he enjoyed her presence more than he should. A possibility that maybe, just maybe, he loved-

tsssss…

Nearby, in a silver-ish colored sconce, was a blue candle that had fizzled out. Which was weird considering all of the candles in this citadel should be enchanted with infinity. They shouldn’t burn out. Tango made sure of that, due to the fact that it would be a pain in the ass to replace every candle when they snuffed out.

Tango stood, allowing the comfort of the previous moment to wane like the candle’s flame. The Hellion picked up the stump of wax and sighed. There weren’t any enchantment engravings in it. Tango must have missed it when he spent an afternoon carving the archaic runes.

But he was not about to have a single, worn out piece of wax hanging on his wall. It would grow on his psyche until he fixed it. Might was well fix it now.

With one hand, he propped Flick up better against his chest, watching her bite on his shoulder. Though it was less of biting, considering she didn’t have teeth yet (though he was sure that would change in a couple weeks), and more like gnawing.

Was it cute as hell regardless? Absolutely.

Tango tossed it into the bedside bin and ambled over to the bathroom door. He scratched Flick’s back with the pads of his fingers. She relaxed again after being interrupted from her cuddles with Tango. The Hellion knocked on the door and announced, “Hey, love, I’ll be back. I’m just gonna run to the storage room and grab a candle,”

Tango didn’t elaborate further than that. And he didn’t need to, because all he got in response was a muffled, “‘Kay!”

Shrugging on a bathrobe, Tango left the room, Flicker in hand.

The machinery behind the chests churned and clacked methodically, nothing sounded out of place. Tango walked up and began to dig through some of his bulk materials. The Hellion hoped to the Stars that he had at least one enchanted Candle left over. He remembered that he had some somewhere, but he didn’t remember how he sorted them.

Flicker stared into the massive chests with pure wonder in her eyes. Tango went through at least three massive chests before he began to grow irritated.

He finally found the chest with them. It was the decorations chest, which he honestly should’ve checked first. Taking out one of the many, many candles he had left over, thank the Stars, he quickly summoned it into his inventory. Adjusting Flicker, he softly whispered to her, “There we go. Now we can get back to bed. Sorry for making you get up, sweet girl, but I just couldn’t stand a single candle going out.”

But before he could turn around, a tingling feeling could be felt on his spine. It was quieter than it usually was, the territorial chill. But his arms grasped over Flicker tighter and a snarl found itself stuck in his throat. It was a friend, he knew realistically, but why exactly they were being so quiet bothered him.

He swiveled his head and was met face to face with his admin, the light shining behind him from the open window. When had it opened? Their eyes locked. Both sucked in a breath. What… the hell?

Xisuma looked about twenty years older. His clothes were old, wrinkled, and honestly had a bit of a stench. Tango genuinely didn’t want to think about the last time his admin showered. X had this air to him where it seemed that he was trying to act confident. Like he wasn’t the shambles of a broken man. That look kinda crumbled when he saw Flicker.

His arm probably moved before he could think, reaching out towards the baby like he wanted to hold her and never let go. Their eyes met again. X stopped himself, his eyes now glueing themselves to the floor as the light hit his visor just right and hid his eyes.

“Sorry…” he mumbled, before tensing and shifting awkwardly.

Tango could yell at him. He could tell X to get out and not come back. Because Tango wasn’t about to be yelled at in front of the baby. He could do so many things right now, but he only that the will to do one.

“Are you okay?” Was all Tango could muster to say.

The Hellion was so frustrated with this man. Xisuma had been yelling. Xisuma had been giving cold shoulders. Xisuma had been leaving his players out to dry because of some stupid ‘security breach’. Xisuma had been an asshole.

But that was still Xisuma.

He was the same Xisuma who offered a hand to Tango to teach him how to build. He was the same Xisuma who had vouched for him to the other hermits even when they said that they ‘didn’t want a Hellion’. He was the same Xisuma who hugged him when he cried, and when he refused to tell why. He was the same Xisuma who Tango could maybe consider a father.

The admin couldn’t answer his question because he looked stunned. Like a deer caught in headlights. Simply at the mere idea that Tango cared.

A beat of silence.

X looked away. His gloved hands met each other and he fiddled with his fingers. Tango narrowed his eyes. What did X want?

“Keralis spoke to me… after you met with Mumbo,” Xisuma finally said after what felt like a lifetime. The air bloomed into a strange dichotomy of comfort and cold tension.

“I heard he was missing. Uhm… did he look okay?” X inquired, shifting his head in the right way to let the light shield his eyes again.

What gave Xisuma the right to ask such a question? After he blatantly refused to search for Mumbo even when his friends begged? Maybe X knew Mumbo well enough to understand he wouldn’t just disappear without a good reason. He supposed… maybe, X knew Mumbo needed space. Tango grumbled internally at giving this man any more credit.

“He looked… tired. Almost like you,” the Hellion stated, shifting Flicker in his arms. She stared at X with those same red eyes. The red eyes that saw the best in everyone.

“Right… uhm,” Xisuma paused, glancing up and down for a few moment before sighing and slipping off his helmet. Tango sucked in a breath. He was met with a grizzled man with tired eyes and messy brown hair. His skin was rather pale and a bit gray around the eyes. He had wrinkles and accents in his skin that no man his age should have. His deep, expressive eyes were complimented by an equally expressive pair of lips. Maybe, Tango realized, the admin just wore his heart on his sleeve.

X placed his helmet to the side and stood there awkwardly. His eyes looked a little red.

“I’m sorry,” he began, “for how I’ve been treating you. All of you guys, but especially you.”

Tango sighed, suddenly wishing he could sit down and have this conversation, “It’s okay, X, we all make mistakes-“

“No,” Xisuma interjected, his eyes filled with a fiery determination and his mouth pulled into a grimace, “it’s not okay.”
The Hellion’s eyebrows raised in a bit of shock. When, in many cases, someone wronged him, all he got was a ‘I’m sorry’ and a loose explanation of why. And every time Tango sucked up his own emotions and gave a simple ‘it’s fine’ and suddenly everything was okay again.

But never had someone straight up told him that it wasn’t.

“I hurt you, and bad too,” Xisuma argued, trying not to allow his eyes to drift from Tango’s, “I made you do something you weren’t ready for because of something superficial. I abused my role as an admin so no one felt like they could talk to me. I then equally failed my role as an admin by locking myself up for as long as I did.”

The admin’s chest was rising and falling rapidly. He was panicking. Tango felt a creeping suspicion, like a vine. And suddenly the Hellion wanted to hug the other man.

“None of you deserved that. You didn’t deserve that, Tango. And I guess it took Keralis practically strangling me to realize that. If I didn’t have him… Stars, I don’t wanna think about it,” Xisuma spoke, exasperated, “but I feel like you deserve an explanation.”

Tango felt Flick shift in his arms, her hands grabbing at the fluffy hem of his robe. His hands tightened around her. His tail swished back and forth in a wary, yet steady. He took in a breath and nodded, “Sure,”

“I know you remember Evil X,” He started, speaking like the wind had been knocked out of him, “I know that he’s gone. I know that.”

The Hellion’s heart wrapped in barbed wire and squeezed. Did he remember? Of course he remembered. Tango remembered the fear, and he remembered the fallout. He remembered the nightmares of the nether that he had every night. He remembered the dread of waking up.

And like the morning sun, a realization dawned on him.

Xisuma was reliving that, wasn’t he?

A baby, randomly appearing in a server, probably appearing due to a glitch in the rift. X didn’t know what it could be. How could he be blamed for going to the worst possible conclusion? Tango couldn’t bear to think about why X wasn’t sleeping or showering.

“Xisuma-“ Tango was cut off again, but he didn’t feel angry. X needed this.

“It’s just… when I heard about what happened, I felt my world collapse. I know he’s gone. I know he can’t hurt us anymore. I know. And I thought I was over it,” the admin sighed, one of his hands running through his hair, “but I wasn’t over it. I wasn’t. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t take care of myself, because every second away from my computers were seconds that he might come back. I wasn’t… thinking right.”

Tango tilted his head to the side slightly, “No, it’s okay, I understand. More than you realize actually.”

They were talking about completely different things, but the Hellion was sure X knew what he was on about.

“But it’s not okay, Tango. It’s not,” The admin sighed, looking more like a kid rather than the face of the Hermitcraft server.

Another beat of silence.

“Y’know,” the Hellion exhaled, shifting Flick in his arms, “this girl has a real knack for making people face their issues. Maybe it’s just a baby thing.”

Xisuma shrugged, “Can’t run with babies.”

There wasn’t much to say. X said what he needed to say, and that was that. Tango was sure Xisuma would refuse his forgiveness in any form.

And, besides, Tango didn’t want to say anything ‘cheesy’. Nothing like ‘I forgive you’ or ‘I missed you’ or ‘I’ve seen you as a father figure for years but I have been too scared to say anything’. But what could he say other than that? How could he tell Xisuma it was going to be alright, and that they’ll work through it? How could the Hellion comfort him after one of the worst episodes Tango has ever seen him experience?

What could he do other than hug the admin so tight that neither of them could breathe? The Hellion didn’t want to overwhelm the poor guy.

Can’t run with babies.

“Do you… want to hold her? She’s been eyeing you this whole time. I think she wants to meet you,” Tango offered, stepping closer. Xisuma sucked in a breath, and opened up hesitant arms.

“Yea… yea, I’d like that,” He whispered, eyes wide and hands shaking.

Delicately placing her in his arms, Xisuma looked like he wanted to melt. If Tango thought Impulse fell in love quick, then Xisuma fell in love before she was even placed in his arms. He hunched over, staring at her tiny face.

She laughed and reached up, grabbing his nose and brushing her tail against his cheek. He laughed too, but his voice sounded vaguely wet. His dark, expressive eyes were now red and misty. He brushed his thumb against her soft cheek.

He let out a strangled huff, “Aw, hey there!”

His voice was strained but the smile on his lips wouldn’t go away. She laughed again, her eyes shining with intrigue.

“Keralis is gonna love you,” he whispered, and Tango watched small tears roll down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized it would mean this much to X to meet her.

Gently caressing her face, X’s fingers more like feathers, he whispered in a voice a little more like Keralis’, “’Hi sweet face…’”

The admin glanced up, back into Tango’s eyes, and cleared his throat. He handed her back to the Hellion. Flick almost looked upset that she was losing him. He picked his helmet back up and slipped it back on. The tension disintegrated from the admin’s shoulders the second his face eased covered.

The Hellion suddenly felt grateful at X’s decision to take off his headgear when apologizing.

“I should go. I’ve come. I’ve said my peace. And my apology. So… I think it’s time for me to leave,” Xisuma sighed, summoning an elytra from his inventory.

“No, it’s okay, you can stay for a little while longer-“ Tango offered again, walking closer towards the taller man, but Xisuma just shook his head.

“No. I should go. I don’t want to… cause issues,” Xisuma mumbled, nervously walking away, “but I’ll be there for you this time. I won’t leave you guys. I’ll… be better. I’m sorry.”

The Hellion’s eyebrows knitted, but he nodded, and gave a half smile, “Just don’t do anything stupid, okay? Evil X… he’s not coming back. The only thing that Flicker brought was herself.”

“I know… I know. Just, understand this. I’m not lifting the lockdown. I can’t,” Xisuma whispered, climbing up onto the windowsill. Just like the day before Flicker came. He stood there, the sun framing the back of his head.

A part of Tango wanted to roll his eyes and say ‘really?’, but he kept his mouth shut. All he could do was breathe out a quiet, “Just do what you need to do.”

The admin nodded, and asked one final question before he left, “You still want to take care of her?”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” the Hellion answered before he could think.

With a single whoosh and explosion from a rocket, Xisuma was gone. Just like weeks before. Given the day Flick came here, Tango deduced that he had about two weeks left.

A very small voice in his heart said ‘maybe longer!’ but he didn’t want to listen.

The Hellion didn’t mean to walk forward towards the window. He didn’t intend to lean out and look to where he threw that apple all that time ago. He didn’t want to see its rotting form. But he did. And he stared at the brown mush of maggots and dirt.

Disgusting.

—

Blood. Blood everywhere. Blood on him.

Tango stumbled back, his eyes blown wide, his heart pumping. Underneath his claws was blood. So much blood. He tasted it, he felt it all over.

His body shook violently, his hair an angry fire. He had killed them. Killed them.

He couldn’t help himself. He heard the two men’s chuffs. He heard the girls growls. The growls that turned to hisses and then pleas for help. He had come across them on happenstance. She looked at him, eyes wide. Filled with tears. Desperate.

She reached out for Tango, begging.

He couldn’t help himself. He could stop himself. He couldn’t stop himself even if he tried.

Everything went red. His mind went blank. He couldn’t remember what he’d done.

But he could assume. The two men’s faces were caved in, their skulls shattered. The lower half of their bodies were relatively untouched, if he ignored the bigger one’s leg twisted the other way.

Tango was certain he wouldn’t have been able to take them if he hadn’t caught them with their pants down. Literally. They wanted things from her that she didn’t want to give. He made them pay.

But…

They deserved it! You saw what they were about to do!

No… no, mama always said to solve issues through peace.

You saved that girl! They deserved to go!

No, he was just like his father.

No.
No.
No.

“Sir? Are you okay?” The girl beside him asked, trying to cover herself with whatever rags that were left over.

His eyes found their way to hers. Red and filled with tears. Her orange hair a mess from the hands that forced her head down. Her legs were bruised, her wrists with hand marks. Tango wanted to cry.

“I’m… okay,” He lied, watching her face light up with gratitude. Her arms found their way around his torso. But his mind was too fragmented to think.

“Thank you. Thank you so much,” she cried, her tears bleeding through his own rags, “I never knew a man like you existed.”

“I… what?” Tango asked, meeting her ecstatic eyes.

“Men usually just… take, don’t they? You saved me. You don’t want to sleep with me, do you?” She pressed, her eyes now growing skeptical.

“No!” He yelled, almost like she weirded a knife at him. He couldn’t be like his dad. No. No sex. No nothing. He didn’t even want to be near her. What if he lost himself again? Like he did with those men?

She frowned, “You act weird. Did your mom drop you?”

“I… just- please, stay away. I’m not safe,” he mumbled, walking away to lean against a large, netherrack boulder.

“Not safe?”

“I killed them,”

“Yes, but you had to. They were going to-“

“But I killed them. I promised her I wouldn’t be anything like him!”

She looked at him with dead eyes. She huffed an amused laugh.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes,” he replied, not bothering to think about his words, “My dad took my mom when she didn’t want it. I didn’t want you to be like her, but I didn’t want to kill them. Just… knock them out or something.”

She sighed, taking his hand and making him sit down with her, “Everyone’s parents hate each other. I’d be shocked if they didn’t. I can already pictured how it happened. For both of our parents. It’d be the same story, no?”

“No. My mama has a good life. Her parents loved each other. She was sick, never meant to be married. Then a group of men cornered her. My father saved her, but thought his reward should be her body. He stole her away. She never saw her family again,” Tango recalled, remembering his mother’s vague smile as she told him that story.

The girl sat silent for a while, turning her head to face his, “You really didn’t want it hurt them?”

“No. I didn’t. But… I lost control of my mind, I was so angry,”

“It’s not your fault. It’s in your blood, no? You really can’t blame yourself. Besides, you did something good with it,” she smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“At least use that anger on aggressors and not your family. When you get one. Maybe your wife will love you,” She smiled, leaning a comforting head against him. And at the time, those words kept him going.

At the time it didn’t sound like an insult.

—-//—-///—-//—-

Hellion Biology Lesson 18: Hygiene

‘Hygiene’ and ‘Hellion’ almost sound like an oxymoron. It’s no mystery that Hellions aren’t exactly the most cleanly, given that water cannot exist in the nether. Of course. Hellions get the water they need to live from warped mushrooms, given that these life forms have water filled gills. But unless they are sealed away into an organic container, water will quickly evaporate in the immense heat.

Although rare, there is a practice that some Hellions are familiar with. They’re called dust baths. They gather dust or ash from the ground and rub their entire bodies with it. While it sounds counter intuitive, it’s really meant to keep general bad smells, such as body odor or sweat, away.

While it is rare, it’s quite effective, given that we know, as people from the over world, chinchillas do a similar thing. Since their fur is so dense, they cannot bathe like most other mammals. In a sense, Hellions are like chinchillas. But, it must be acknowledged, Hellions cannot bathe because they don’t have access to it like we do.

Equally, Hellions do not take care of themselves like we do as it’s not in their society. Cleanliness isn’t exactly something they prioritize. This can easily be seen in their dental hygiene, as many Hellions lose their teeth at an older age due to bad cleaning practice. If they were to clean their teeth, it would be with a frayed twig from a tree

If they were brought to the over world by some miracle, it should be expected of them to clean themselves like the rest of the species. If you have a Hellion in your life who has a hard time taking care of themself, have patience, it’s harder for them to stay clean.

—-//—-///—-//—-

His muscles relaxed as the hot water hit his skin. The water sizzled on his hot skin. Slowly, he adjusted the knob of the shower to become colder, until it was ice cold. The room was filled with steam from his bodies reaction to the temperature. The blue fire on the tip of his tail hissed and snarled at the water, but the Hellion was finally able to just breathe.

Despite this day being arguably better than the past three, Tango found his mind equally overwhelmed. X apologized for his abhorrent behavior. Which, that was enough to unpack on its own.

‘Okay, here we go,’ Tango thought letting out a long breath, feeling the water drip from his nose, ‘Time to understand what’s happened over these past few days.’

So, Xisuma found out that a baby was teleported to their server, into the nether, by unknown means. Tango’s personal theory was that it had something to do with the rift. After all, that’s how he got to the server, finding a purple portal with no obsidian frame tucked in a tiny nook in the rocks on a cliff face.

He entered it, came to Hermitcraft season 2, and the rest was history. From his experience, most likely a portal very similar to his appeared in the nether and a mother with a baby found it. The mother took her chances and either gave up her baby in hopes she’d have a better life or just didn’t want to deal with her.

Tango didn’t like the second option.

The news of the baby bothered X so much, because he thought it was Evil X coming back or something. He panicked, locked the server down, and locked himself away from everyone else. He refused to take care of himself because that was time wasted on fixing this issue.

Lo and behold, an episode.

Keralis had been trying to get a hold on the admin, most likely mentally rather than physically, and that information was given to him by Mumbo.

Fuck, Mumbo.

Okay, so Mumbo was planning on going on a trip outside of the server to live more and to have a break. Which, it was his idea that they even get a babysitter in the first place. Anyway-

The baby appearing and the server going on lockdown postponed that trip and so after a few days he ran off and has been living under the radar since. No one can find him, but for some reason, Tango did? Or did Mumbo seek him out? The Hellion didn’t know.

So when he met with Tango, he wanted to have a chat. And they did, and then he left and no one has seen him since.

Okay… okay…

He sucked in a breath, and got back to the main train of thought. Xisuma.

So, Keralis gave him a mouthful, presumably the same day, and Xisuma waited a while to tell him? Why? Was he not ready to come to that truth? Or was he ashamed? Didn’t matter, he apologized now. That’s good. Tango thought it was decent.

Goodness gracious this was a lot to unpack.

Okay, so Scar wants to babysit, and they promised that he would. Oh yea! And then he told everyone so now he and Jimmy were dealing with an onslaught of texts and messages from other hermits. Oh gosh this was a lot.

Okay!

Tango took in a very deep breath and decided he’d spend a little bit actually cleaning himself. Y’know, the point of a shower?

He squeezed the lavender scented shampoo into his hands and rubbed it between his fingers. He lathered it into his hair and scrubbed it into the fur on the back of his neck and front of his chest. Just ‘cause it was fur didn’t mean it should be gross. Nah, he liked feeling clean.

Back in the nether, he usually kept a small satchel of ash or general dust to wash himself with. It wasn’t just him, it was most Hellions he met. Kept the smell at bay a decent amount and left him without most grime and blood. He supposed the practice was similar to over world chinchillas.

Water, however, was considerably better.

He supposed that’s why he loved Flicker’s smell so much. The sweet-ashy smell. She smelled like the cleanliness of his childhood. The relatively good memories. That made… a lot of sense when he put it like that.

Okay…

He was a little more clean now. Back to unpacking.

So, he’s found that Flicker has become a source of comfort for him. For some odd reason, he might add, because why on earth would babies be comforting to his kind? He didn’t have to remind himself. Because he reminded himself plenty of that fact the first couple days of taking care of her.

The worst thing Flicker has brought has been the memories. It’s not her fault. It’s not. But, Stars, these dreams and memories have been tough to get through. In that way, he supposed, he related to his admin.

Her arrival has reminded them of very dark times in their past.

Tango wrung his body wash bottle dry of any soap it had left. He’d have to restock soon.

Once Cub poked fun of him because he showered in exclusively floral scents. That same day, Tango snipped some of the wires to one of his TNT machines and Cub ‘mysteriously’ died. But the Hellion was always reminded of that whenever he showered. He scrubbed his body with the rose scented body wash and took in several more breaths.

This shower was good. The cold water was refreshing, and he was able to unpack at least a portion of the events that have happened over the course of the two-ish weeks. But, unfortunately, that meant he’d have to leave the comfortable confines. Bummer.

He stepped out after a few more minutes, tying a plush towel around his waist and stepping out of the shower. He rubbed a smaller one in his wet hair. The blue strands stuck to his forehead, and as he reached for his clothes on the floor, he remembered that his clothes were on the bed.

Dammit. Why did he leave them in the bedroom? Stars, he was a dumbass.

He sighed, stepping out of the bathroom to quickly retrieve his shirt, shorts, and boxers. A cold chill went down his spine as the dry air hit his skin.

“Hubba hubba,” Jimmy exclaimed, sitting up quickly from the couch and looking Tango up and down like he was a piece of meat, “Well hello, sailor!”

“Goodness, Jim, can it. Not in front of the baby,” Tango grumbled, snatching his pajamas from the foot of the bed. He went to go back into the bathroom to change but Jimmy quickly tried to stop him.

“Wait, wait, wait! She can’t speak English; she doesn’t know what I’m saying!” The avian argued, walking over and holding in his laughs.

“She can very well read your body language! You keep that to yourself,” the Hellion tisked, feeling a hand on his waist, pulling him back into the room.

“Wait please! I won’t be weird! Just like- watch Flick so I can nap,” Jimmy begged, sticking out a playful tongue. Tango raised an eyebrow, a smile strangely stretching across his face.

“Nap? It’s like… twelve? Eleven?” the Hellion questioned watching Jim roll his eyes.

“Yea, I’m tired!”

“Literally wait for three seconds for me to get dressed and you can go nap or whatever,” the Hellion laughed, dropping the towel and watching the canary’s eyes shoot to the other direction. So much for the ‘Hubba Hubba’ thing.

Once Tango dressed, Jimmy had flopped onto the bed and began to softly snore. The Hellion was astounded at how quickly the avian fell asleep. The air was peaceful again. The room was lighter, much lighter, than whatever shit show this morning was. Tango ended up shirtless (again) because his boyfriend said Flicker liked it more. While that could’ve been true, it was equally true that Jimmy liked to watch.

And Tango was impeccable eye candy apparently.

The Hellion simply sat on the couch, watching the mindless, shitty television shows that numbed your mind. It was domestic. This was domestic. And Tango liked it. He liked it a lot. Even though he wasn’t technically sharing it with the canary.

Despite it being midday, it was pretty obvious the avian needed rest. His eyes looked so tired and his lids were weighed by stones. It wasn’t like the Hellion had any more rest than he did, it was just that Tango was better with dealing with the lack there of.

Tango didn’t blame his boyfriend. Actually, he didn’t blame anyone anymore. Things right now were just hard.
Like X said, ‘Can’t run with babies’. It seemed like everyone was slowing down. Everyone was meeting their matches. Everyone was facing their demons. And Tango didn’t feel as alone anymore.

And speaking of babies…

Tango leaned down and pressed his nose against her scalp, breathing in her smell. The sweet, soft ashy smell. Stars… he loved her.

His eyes shot open.

Love? No, no, that wasn’t right. He didn’t love her because that would be wildly irresponsible. He was going to give her up! To an adoption agency! Or center, or something! He misspoke.

That’s what this was.

His whole body grew tense with dread. Nausea swam in his gut. Could he not have one nice moment? He stared at her face, and then in her eyes. Eyes that looked at him like he could do no wrong.

And something in his heart sang. It was the first time he noticed, but this song wasn’t new. No, he’s sung this song before. He’s been feeling this way. How come he never fucking noticed?

His hands held her closer. His core flexed, pulling his body around her. Flicker made him want to sit there forever and hold her. To hold her for as long as he lived. Tango wanted…

Tango wanted…

Her.

Tango loved her.

…

Fuck.

He smelled her smell again, taking in everything he could. He pet her hair and watched her tail softly sway. He loved her. And he was going to lose her.

But it was for the best. The Hellion knew why he had to lose her. He knew why he couldn’t trust himself. He knew he was dumb for letting himself love Flicker at all. He was so, so stupid. He’d been trying to deny it for a while, huh?

He cried anyways. Even when he felt stupid for loving her with his whole heart. Even when he thought it’d be best to pretend like he never discovered that part of himself. He cried because he was already mourning the loss of a child he could never have.

A baby that would never be his.

Flicker couldn’t be his little girl.

And he cried hot tears. In noiseless gasps, he tried not to wake Jimmy. Stars, he loved her. He let himself weep silently as his boyfriend had the best sleep of his life. He let himself sob to himself as Xisuma reconnected with the other hermits. He let out hushed wails as the world kept on moving, as time kept passing. Tango cried.

He cried because he could never, ever have this. He couldn’t have her. She would never be his Flicker.

”Your name is older than our ancestors,” she whispered, “Do you know why I chose it to be yours?”

“Baba ababa… baba!” Flicker babbled, placing her hands on Tango’s cheeks and feeling his tears in between her tiny fingers. She smiled at him, with those eyes. Those beautiful ruby-colored eyes.

Yea…

He found himself smiling despite his sorrow.

Her hair was kinda yellow in this light…

And Tango cried.

Chapter Text

Flowers

A field of them.

Infinite colors

Clouds above

The sky a milky blue

The mountains, round and gentle

In front of him

In the hot air

And hotter soil

In front of him

Drinking the sweat dripping from his nose

Standing proudly against a sweltering breeze

Was a Frost Lily

Growing despite everything

Refusing to rot

_______
——
__
—
-
,

—

He was awoken to the feeling of tiny hands on his cheeks. The weirdly lucid dream from last night melted away into a vague smell of flowers. The hands grabbed at his face. A small forehead against his cheek, sliding down to the crook of his neck, and suddenly a tiny ball was firmly against his chest.

Tango groaned, cracking his eyes open and scrunching his eyebrows. He caught a glimpse of Jimmy slowly putting away his communicator. The Hellion narrowed his eyes, voice groggy, “Were you recording me?”

“No,” the canary quickly replied, hiding his device, before clearing his throat, “I was recording Flicker.”

Shifting his head, he looked down to where the aforementioned girl was. She was curled up in the fetal position with her nose against the spot on his neck where he usually applied his cologne. Whenever he did, to be clear. Whatever smell there was stale, but Flicker seemed to not mind. Her little tail was wrapped around her body and her hands were splayed out on his collarbone.

His heart felt like it was about to explode with that sweet, fond love he’d been denying himself all of this time. The love that he told himself was impractical to express. And honestly? It felt amazing to know he felt it. It felt heavenly to not be in denial. He loved Flick. It didn’t hurt when he purposely left out the detail that she’d be gone soon. He loved her so, so much. He kept it in his body, though, never outwardly expressing it as to not mess with Jim further. The poor avian already experienced enough weird bird instincts with her; Jim didn’t need his partner also showing loving affection.

Feeling her small body against his, her warmth, it was too much. He just felt so at ease. It felt so right. Like he was meant to be her dad-

“She wouldn’t stop whining, and she kept on grabbing in your direction n’ stuff. I didn’t wanna wake you, cause it’s really early, but she wasn’t letting up and I-“ Jimmy paused, his eyes widening. Tango looked over confused, raising a beckoning eyebrow.

A solid minute in silence is what it took for the Hellion to hear it. A deep, very deep, content rumble in his chest. One he hadn’t even realized he was doing. A rumble like an old rusty car, only now being given any attention. A purr. A sound he’d only been allowing himself to make in private. A sound only Flicker had drawn out of him.

And suddenly, being awaken by a baby and recorded by his boyfriend didn’t bother him anymore as every feeling he’d once had was replaced by mortification. No- Hellion sounds were disgusting. Hellions themselves were disgusting. They were so vile and violent- he’d seen it all before! They were so gross and so weird and so bad and-

“Awwwww!” The avian exclaimed, his deep brown eyes lighting up like fireworks. He scooted closer, his already messy wings puffing up. Hands hovering above the two Hellions.

“Is that purring?” Jim asked, brushing a finger against Tango’s jawline. The Hellion sucked in a breath.

“Uh- yea, sorry,” he quickly apologized, slipping his arms around Flicker to support her as he tried to sit up. Just as the purr had come, it was gone.

The canary placed a hand on his chest, keeping him down, “First, don’t wake Flick. She just started to relax. Second, don’t apologize.”

“Why didn’t I know you could purr? That’s so freaking cute! And look at her! She’s so relaxed; way more than she ever was with me,” Jim mumbled, crossing his arms.

“I- it’s just… I haven’t made that noise in years. Well, I have been making it recently, but only when you’re not around-“

“Only when I’m not around?! Good Stars, Tango, that’s the cutest sound I’ve ever heard, and you were keeping it from me?” Jimmy whined, flopping back onto the sheets in his own little tantrum.

Tango’s cheeks burned in a way that he hadn’t felt since Double Life. To be specific, he hadn’t been so flustered since Jim flashed him with one of those heart-stopping smiles. Or the times when Jim would grab onto his arms when he was scared. Or the times when they’d talk until sunrise and Jim’s voice would get all tired. But his cheeks burned now for a different reason.

He’d never been so vulnerable. Maybe he should’ve been more open, given they’ve been dating for a little under a year at this point. But this fact was something close to his heart, because in his mind, Jimmy wouldn’t like it. Jim may say that he does, but how on earth could Tango know that for sure?

“I didn’t think you’d find it cute,” Tango stated, listening to Flick softly purr to herself. Her arms now tucked against her chest. Her nose pressed further against his neck. At least she felt comfortable enough to make all those sounds.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, “Why on earth would I find it anything other than adorable?”

Tango shrugged, pulling the blankets up and above his collarbone, and resting just over Flicker’s neck. The canary sighed, shuffling under the covers and joining the two Hellions. Soft, considerate arms looped their way around Tango’s waist and a head was pressed against his.

Tango relaxed; his every muscle and fiber turning into a soft mush at the touch of the other man. He felt his entire body heat cool to a steady simmer. Jim’s body relaxed into his and he audibly sighed.

“Now this,” the avian said with a dramatic inflection, “is the life.”

“Mhm,” Tango replied, “this is nice.”

Jim paused for a bit, staring at Flick. He ran his fingers up and down her back and he smiled. The canary’s hand then traveled from Flicker to Tango’s chest. He traced every scar, every divot, every imperfection like it was the most interesting thing on this earth.

Tango felt his boyfriend’s fingers splay across his skin. His hands so delicately felt the shape of the Hellion’s pecs. Tango grumbled in his comfort, and he allowed his eyes to shut again.

“You’re tryna get me to purr again,” the Hellion muttered in a deep rumble. Jim just laughed a little and continued his gentle touches.

Shrugging, he just replied, “I am. Got a problem with that?”

Tango groaned, sliding his hand around Jim’s waist and fiddling with the hem of the avian’s baggy sleep shirt. Jimmy hiked his leg up and across the Hellions lap, and Stars, Tango had never felt more calm. Jim continued to observe the two Hellions with the same fondness of a mother looking at her husband and children playing.

“What’s with the sniffing?” The canary suddenly asked, making Tango’s droopy eyes shoot up and stare.

“What?”

“The sniffing. The day you went to code, when her hair changed and you came back, you kept on smelling her. And, well, you kinda sniff her all the time but I didn’t mention it cause I thought it was just a quirk of yours. But now Flick’s doing it, too,” Jim clarified, his hand traveling up to the Hellion’s neck.

Ah, yes, the dreaded question. ‘Why do you act like a dog, you filthy Hellion?’

The reason was simple. Hellions look the same. Physically, that was, and smell was needed to identify family members or mates before Hellspeak was a thing. The genetic code never went away, so the entire species had a pretty decent nose. Nothing like a werewolve’s nose, or anything, but decent enough to pick up days old smells with varying accuracy.

But how could one explain that to an avian? A species that wasn’t keen on much else besides flying? Tango exhaled; he wasn’t giving Jim any credit here.

“It’s like- a Hellion thing,” he began, his grip on Jimmy loosening for a moment, “It’s not that we have a strong nose or anything, it’s just that we like smelling? Or at least I always did.”

“So why’d you never do it? I feel like I’ve only seen you do that now,” the canary questioned, his hands pausing against the Hellion’s skin.

Tango furrowed his brows; pulling his lips into a thin line. Flicker whined slightly, adjusting her place on the larger Hellion’s chest and continuing her deep slumber. Tango sucked the back of his teeth, “You never know how people react to certain things. Especially people of other species. Almost exclusively people from other species. It’s not exactly their fault they don’t understand, but it’s not great that they never chose to learn. I guess…”

Tango trailed off, looking into Jimmy’s wide brown eyes. Maybe he was telling the avian too much. Maybe certain stories should stay with him. Maybe, just maybe, he’d heal on his own time.

Maybe running was the only way out.

But…

“I guess I never did explain it to them. Even if they asked,” he whispered, tearing his icy eyes away to stare at the canopy over his bed. The morning light looked to be young by now; the night having left and the colorful sky showing its pretty face.

The forever up sky. A color he could never truly be, but a color that the people of this world possessed in their blood. A beauty that could never be his, a promise forever unkept, and a place never quite filled. He could never be that kind of beautiful. But he could sure as hell try.

“…Would you want to tell me about it?” Jimmy further asked, his eyes filled with complete captivation.

…

…yea.

Why not?

…

“Y’know what Flick smells like to me?” the Hellion blurted after what felt like too long in silence. The canary nodded a little too quickly, and Tango grinned softly. He didn’t fail to notice how his hands shook a bit at the thought of speaking. He could feel his stomach doing somersaults and the nausea slowly building up. But for some ungodly reason, Tango didn’t stop.

“She smells like sweet ash. I don’t know if you’ve smelt it, but it’s my favorite smell. It reminds me of being clean in the nether. We didn’t have water, obviously, so we’d bathe in it. Ash, I mean,” he clarified, feeling Jim’s hand slide all the way down to his stomach, “But the sweetness of it comes from baby smell. You know how all babies kinda smell sweet-ish? I mean, not like candy or flowers, but the powdery sweetness of a grandma?”

Jim’s finger brushed up just under Tango’s pec while he leaned in to smell Flick. The avian took a long, deep whiff of the baby, causing her to stir slightly in her sleep. He contemplated for a bit before making a soft click-y noise, “I don’ smell it,”

“Hah! I didn’t expect you to. Avians don’t have noses like ours,” Tango said simply, shrugging and plastering a half-fake smile on his face.

The canary smirked and exhaled dramatically, “Yea, well, you never tried to smell me, so you’re just fake.”

“Fake?” Tango whispered, feeling Flick roll her body across his chest, “Smelling people is weird, Jim, so I wasn’t about to do that to my first boyfriend.”

“What? Tango, I ask this with so much love, but why do you always think I’ll find normal things for you weird?” Jimmy asked, propping himself up with his elbow so he could look the Hellion in the eyes.

Tango felt a weird mix of cluelessness and all knowing fact when it came to that question. It was always the same.

Cub asked him relentlessly about Tango’s past when he joined back in season 4. It was non-stop, and looking back, the Hellion could hardly blame his curious soul. Cub honestly couldn’t help that dying need for information. Of course, it took Stars know how many conversations with X for the vex to finally back off.

But he remembered one specific day out of all of the ones where Cub would appear in front of Tango like a species analyst. It was stormy that day, and Tango could sense the static in the air. He mentioned he could hear the static in the sky. Cub’s eyes lit up and he hounded the overwhelmed Hellion for an hour for specific details on his abilities.

Tango didn’t really answer, saying that it was kinda weird and Cub wouldn’t like it. Back then, he was more than adamant on the disgusting, foul, and ugly nature of Hellions.

Now, of course, Tango has been questioning the beliefs he held onto for years. Thanks to Flick.

But Cub just sighed, rolling his eyes and stating, ”I can assure you every single species of humanoid does or experiences something everyone else would consider weird, so don’t be afraid to tell us,”

”If you keep things to yourself, nothing good comes from it,”

Tango kept one hand on the avians waist, but his other hand was solidly on Flicker, who had rolled over on her back and landed dead in the middle of the Hellion’s chest. His hand slid up Jim’s shirt and outlined the shape of his midriff.

“I guess…” He began, slowly trailing off as he thought about doing something he’s never done before. He promised he’d be more honest. He promised, but it was terrifying. Telling any story, no matter how tame, about the nether and his life there was a huge step he wasn’t sure he could take.

A small hand found itself to his jaw. He didn’t need to look down to know it was the baby. And he knew didn’t mean anything more than just that. A hand. But a part of him found itself thinking it was like a hand on the back saying, ‘I got you’.

Maybe he was bat-shit insane.

Maybe…

“Back in the nether,” Tango started again, watching Jim’s eyes shoot up and hold his breath, “I was walking, like I usually did, in search of a nether city near a portal. I was a wanderer. I don’t know how far out I was, because I never had a place of reference, but I was pretty remote. For a long time I never met any other Hellions.”

Tango glanced back up into Jim’s eyes, trying to control his shaky body, “I came to Hermitcraft before I ever got to one of those rare cities,”

“Anyway, I was walking and I was met with a sight I’d never seen before. On the horizon was a human,” he recounted, feeling his mind slip away into the memory, allowing his mouth to outwardly flow whatever words came to mind, “who looked more like a tourist than an adventurer.”

—

The human’s eyes met with Tango’s and their face lit up with something Tango couldn’t describe. It was some amalgamation of happiness or excitement or interest or disgust.

Tango had never seen a human before, obviously. He never realized how weird they looked. He’d never seen white eyes like that. Their pupils were brown and black and it was so freaking weird. Their ears were round, and their skin the color of bone blocks.

Humans were practically folklore this far out, and seeing any modern traces of them was practically in heard of. One could argue the entire state of the nether currently was because of the over world and its meddling in things it didn’t understand. But at that point of his life, Tango only knew the barebones history of his people. He learned a lot more, a lot later, and with much more pain than he’d like.

Though Tango knew that if he were to go far enough, he’d find a nether even the over world hadn’t touched, and he wondered if the Hellions there would be like him. He wondered if they would love more like humans did.

Regardless, a human, one with light skin and dark eyes, was bolting their way over to the Hellion with un renowned fervor. Tango honestly wanted to run, to not look back, and to ignore this over world creature, but his legs stayed locked where he stood. He couldn’t move.

The human took a few moments to catch their breath once they got close enough. Tango’s brows furrowed. But once they were able to breathe, they shot up and stared the Hellion in his deep red eyes, “Hello!”

Hm? What? Was this guy serious? Tango couldn’t speak… whatever language humans spoke. The Hellion dead panned, offering the other guy a simple, “Idiot.”

But it was in Hellspeak. So obviously the human didn’t understand. Their eyes sparkled and he said, “Ah, yes, greetings! You seem like you know where to go!”

“I cannot speak your language, human,” Tango replied back in his tongue, trying to physically communicate that he didn’t understand.

The human seemed to understand well enough, but instead of backing off, he instead started to speak again.

Saying the same thing.

But slower.

Tango stopped him mid sentence, “You’re lucky I’m patient, because I’d have your head,”

“No, no,” the human continued, “I… Need… Directions…!”

They were doing these wild gestures, making it hard for Tango to even see what he was trying to say.

“What are you saying?” Tango beckoned, watching the human nod excitedly and continue.

“Where… is… the city?” They asked, flashing Tango their map. It was a crude thing. The Hellion could hardly read it. It looked so janky, Tango could assume a blind man drew it.

How in the name of Ryea did this ass-hat live so long in a place like this? Did he have some type of invisible armor?

And Tango let out a small, annoyed growl. The human stilled, their eyes widening, before their face turned into one of disgust.

They wrinkled their nose and their lips formed into a sneer. Their feet began to walk away, but before they turned around, they muttered, “Rolha chãore,”

‘Fucking Animal’

The human walked away, disregarding whatever they needed just because of Tango’s natural response.

Tango stilled, his mind short circuiting. Did they know Hellspeak? No, because if they did, they’d pick up on the first thing Tango said. They would speak his language instead of mocking him by speaking slower.

That bastard knew one insult in Hellspeak. They used it to rub salt in the wound. All because of what? A growl? Did humans not growl? Was it weird to growl?

…was something wrong with Tango?

—

Jimmy’s were as wide as saucers. His body was rigid within intense anticipation. He didn’t move. Holding his breath, it seemed like Jim was hoping Tango would tell him more. That Tango would tell him everything.

Meanwhile Tango was holding back vomit, just barely keeping in last nights dinner as a result of this. He’d never told a single soul about this before. Because he was horrified of what would come from it. His whole body mixed with this dread of ‘what if’s’.

But at the same time he felt like he was alive. He felt free. It was like soaring through the bright blue sky. Despite the fear, despite the growing agony in his chest, it didn’t hurt. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt.

He didn’t know why it didn’t hurt. When he remembered, even a little bit, it was like his world fell apart. His past and his present colliding was a recipe for disaster.

But…

Why?

Why did he feel so free?

Why did this feel better than he could’ve ever imagined?

Why didn’t it kill him inside?

“Yea… that’s about it,” Tango mumbled, glancing away from his boyfriend’s attentive eyes.

Jim looked like he wanted to say a million things. He looked like everything was just on the tip of his tongue, just barely held back by the decency of comfort in Tango’s damaged heart. Dark brown eyes like chocolate or coffee. Like soil to grow flowers and grass. And they swirled with something the Hellion couldn’t place.

Instead of saying those millions of things, and instead of asking all of the questions that had building up for years, Jim nodded. He fell back onto the sheets and slotted himself perfectly against the side of Tango.

“Thank you for telling me,” he whispered, allowing the wings on his back to go fully limp. The canary’s eyes fluttered shut and his breath slowed down.

Tango felt loving hands return to his waist. Two soft, steady breaths against his neck. One from Jim and the other from Flick. She’d relaxed again sometime during the story and was now clocked out on his chest again. Everything was peaceful.

All you could hear was the soft clicking of a clock somewhere else and the wind from outside. The rustling trees and the chitters from the Arctic wildlife. The walls were painted with the rising sun’s colors. It was morning, but they didn’t want to get up yet. It wasn’t time for their day to start. For now, they could let their eyes rest. For now, they could go back to sleep together. Tango softly closed his eyes and felt his mind slip back into a steady sleep.

This time, he didn’t dread the dreams that might come with it, because knowing that Flick and Jim would be there when he woke up eased his soul.

He’d never had that reassurance before. He could never be sure that anyone he knew would take his stories seriously.

He supposed a part of him was scared that someone would take what had happened to him and think, ’But isn’t that the thing about Hellions?’

And as much as evil part of Tango would agree with that sentiment, the part that knew his mother and knew Flick understood that wasn’t true. There was something much worse, much more difficult to come to terms with, that Tango didn’t want to think about right now.

Because in this very moment, he had the live of his life by his side with a baby in his life. He hoped to whatever god may be up there, whether it is Ryea or not, that one day he’d allow himself to have a child half as good as her. And he hoped to whatever god that the family Flicker got loved her as much as he did.

A smaller part of him said that it was risky putting her with a non-Hellion family because non-Hellions wouldn’t understand her. Most species weren’t fond of his. That small part of him feared they’d treat her like a monster. Would her hair shimmer yellow if she never felt safe? Would her heart shine as bright if her parents accidentally snuffed it out? Would she feel like a stranger in her own home? Her own body?

…

Was it more irresponsible to leave?

No. Tango knew what was at stake. While he could concede and allow himself to grow from his other, outdated beliefs, the ones that said all Hellions were disgusting little freaks, he couldn’t deny the mark his father made on him.

The Hellion had no way of knowing if he was different from him or not. And he had no way of knowing that he wouldn’t turn into a monster when push came to shove.

Besides,

Hellions didn’t really have the same parental instincts as, say, an avian. He wasn’t experiencing what Jim had been with all of his hormones and crap. It’s just… different.

He may love her, but it’s different.

But…

He was getting…

Really

Sleepy…

,
-
—
___
——-
———
————-

He was outside again. In a cherry grove. The grass was still, and there was no wind. The sky was a myriad of colors to complement the setting sun. And the floor was covered in pink petals.

Many feet in front of him was a mirror propped up in a pile of rotten fruit. Sprouting around the frame was a thick vine. From the vines were Fire Lilies. That species of plant didn’t grow on vines.

Stepping forward, there was a brittle crack. A wet squelch. Tango looked down. A bird’s nest lay there with the eggs shattered under his feet. The yolks mixed with the whites. The mama bird was off to the side. Barely breathing. She was bleeding.

This time, Tango didn’t feel anything.

He approached the mirror. He looked in. The reflection showed his father.

His father.

He was an ugly man. His face was contorted from years of torment by his own father and the hatred of Tango. He was covered in horrific scars, ones that horribly mangled his body. Scars much worse than Tango’s. He had this sneer Tango couldn’t find in any other soul. The Hellion had met a lot of people, and yet so few could even compare to that horrible grimace.

His hair was this washed out, matted yellow color. His eyes were dark red. Way too dark for it to be healthy. Mentally healthy, Tango meant.

Tango had suspected that the demon was just fucked in the head. He’d met sadistic people in the past, but most Hellions drew lines. His father, well… lines weren’t drawn. Even if they were, they didn’t matter to him. The beast.

But he stared into his father’s eyes. They stared back. Tango wasn’t scared. Not anymore.

No.

Tango was angry.

His hands tightened.

His arm reeled back.

A fist collided with glass and blood spilled from Tango’s knuckles.

The shards lay a beautiful shade of blue on the ground. Like a mosaic of blood and terrible memories. Every piece a recollection of an event that left a mark nastier than any scar on Tango’s skin.

But he was so fucking tired of seeing that man’s face in his dreams. So fucking tired of hearing his voice.

And you know what? It felt great to feel his fist bleed from punching that bastard’s face in.

But maybe that made him a monster.

_______
——
__
—
-
,

“Love, wake up,” the avian groaned, nudging Tango’s side. The Hellion cracked his eyes open, once again, and was met with the sight of his baby.

‘The baby’, He amended in his head.

She looked relatively upset, but she was clutching her little Jellie for dear life, so it wasn’t its absence that bothered her. She was probably hungry. What melted his heart, however, was watching Flicker cling to his boyfriend like she was going to die.

Oh Stars, was she going to die?

No, no, that’s ridiculous, he’s just being paranoid.

“Huh-? I’m up, I’m up,” Tango stammered, sitting up quickly and looking at the clock on the wall across from his bed. 8:00 am; not a horrible waking time.

“She’s all fussy now, so do you wanna take her?” Jim asked, straightening his wings.

“Why? Are we going to the kitchen?” Tango replied, stretching his back and scratching at his face.

“Nah, I was just gonna go down and grab her bottle. You just go change her,” the canary clarified, “She likes it when it’s you doing that,”

Tango huffed a laugh, “I think you’re mistaken, mister, because that little lady isn’t going to let go of you. She loves you, baby,”

Jimmy glanced down at Flick, then up, then down, then up again.

“No,” he said in that tone of voice that kinda sounded like he was in painful denial. He almost sounded like a middle aged woman hearing the gossip of a lifetime.

“Jim,” Tango began, already walking to the door, “I think she’d rather have you change her. Ya don’t need to be a Hellion to see that, love.”

The canary’s eyes lit up, “You think?”

His wings were fluffing up. Jimmy really needed to stop being so damn cute.

“I know,” was all Tango said before walking out of his bedroom to grab a bottle. Jim was nowhere near quiet enough when he squealed out of excitement, because Tango heard his ‘omigosh’ a hallway away.

The Hellion wondered why his boyfriend was so unapologetically in love with her. Tango was really trying to be lowkey about it, whether he was successful at that or not he wasn’t sure.

Because he probably wasn’t being lowkey about it when he smelled her before he realized he was in love her.

Yea, no, that wasn’t lowkey at all.

Did Jim already know he loved her?

—

Jimmy was practically beaming by the time Tango came back. His face was plastered with this big ‘ol goofy grin. He immediately walked over to Tango with this shine in his eyes as he exclaimed, “Look she’s sniffing me!”

If you told Tango a couple years ago that his future partner would be so endeared to one of his weirdest, in his opinion, habits, he’d’ve called you crazy. Actually, he’d’ve called you batshit insane, because he quickly learned smelling people he loved was creepy when he came to the over world.

But Jimmy was so, so genuinely happy. Almost like he was honored. Like Flicker enjoying his smell was a ‘privilege’.

“Aww, that’s great, baby!” Tango exclaimed, placing a tender kiss on his lips. The avian accepted it gratefully, before pulling away and immediately blabbering on with questions.

“Why do Hellions like smell? Is it an instinct thing? A comfort thing? A like- pheromone thing? Do Hellions have pheromones? Like ants and stuff?” Jimmy questioned, his eyes wide and shimmering like a forest fire.

Tango could stare into his eyes forever.

“No, it’s not a pheromone thing. Humanoids don’t produce pheromones, doofus. It’s like- an evolutionary thing, I think? Hellions look the same, you know, and so way back when it was hard to identify your immediate family and stuff. And it’s not like we have ‘unique scents’, but we kinda do at the same time,” the Hellion explained, feeling amused ‘cause of the canary’s attentive eyes, “so now its kinda a comfort thing. Flick’s probably just smelling your cologne and thinking it’s your smell.”

Jim nodded thoughtfully, “I see. That makes a lot more sense than your initial explanation. It being ‘just a Hellion thing’ wasn’t as specific as I’d like.”

Tango laughed out loud and placed a hand on the avian’s shoulder, “Alright there, buddy, let’s sit down so you can feed Flick while I preen you.”

Jim sucked in a breath. His deep eyes grew a little wider. It didn’t take long for him to stop being starstruck and just nod. The Hellion grinned softly and dragged the man over to the couch.

The canary just looked so happy. So honored. So grateful.

Threading his claws through the broken feathers, Tango watched Jim’s shoulders relax. His wings, so beautifully golden and had a slight glitter to them, were practically wrecked over these last few stressful days. Stressful yet rewarding days.

Tango plucked out the broken feathers and put the misplaced ones back where they belonged. At this point, the Hellion should be dubbed ‘Honorary Avian’ for how well he worked with feathers. His sharp claws were able to comb through downy like nobodies business.

A little part of Tango hoped his skills were better than Grian’s, in some weird stroke of possessive jealousy, but that would probably never happen. Tango also reminded himself that it didn’t exactly matter who his boyfriend preferred as a preening partner.

Hah… Tango could hear just how happy Flicker was.

As much as Jim could deny it, Flicker adored him. It was different from how she adored Tango, of course, but it wasn’t any lesser. The Hellion could see it in her eyes sometimes. Though, Tango could recognize that her desire to be with one of the ‘foster dads’ flipped like a coin.

One moment she wanted Tango, the other she needed Jim. Neither of them knew if that was normal. The Hellion wasn’t sure what kind of experience Jimmy had as a child, but for Tango, he never wanted his dad. He only wanted his mom.

Regardless, all the Hellion could hear was the soft chirps and coos directed at the small baby in his boyfriend’s arms. He was sure she’d respond to Jim if she wasn’t eating.

It was all so painfully domestic. The kinda life he had been convinced could never be his. At the same time, he was scared of what would happen if he got it for real. He was handling it fine now, sure. One might say he was handling fantastically. But he could never be sure what could happen in a year’s time if he ever decided to keep her.

So would he ever give himself this? Tango wanted it more than anything. More than anything, but dear Stars, what if he was no good? What if his mind switched once he considered her his daughter? What if his mind metamorphosized into his father’s?

But what scared him the most was the thought that Jim wouldn’t stay if he didn’t choose a family. Not just Flicker, but a family at all. Tango knew how important family was but-

…

Was Jimmy crying?

Tango hadn’t realized it, because he’d been so focused on preening (and being in his own thoughts), but it sounded like Jim was softly whimpering. The canary was kinda hunched over in a weird fashion. With this slouched, almost ashamed, posture.

Tango leaned to the right, trying to get a better view of Jim’s face. The Hellion’s hand almost instinctively found its way to the canary’s waist, “Are you okay, love? Did I nick you?”

He shot up, sucking in a breath and bringing his free arm up to wipe away the tears at his eyes. Jimmy sniffled a little before hesitantly turning around half-way.

“Uh… yea. I’m okay,”

“Jim,” Tango whispered in a tone that said ‘I know you’re lying’.

The avian slouched in defeat, “It’s just… this is all so nice. I feel so grateful and, well… A little undeserving.”

“A lot underserving,” Jim quickly amended.

“Undeserving of… what? Me preening you?”

“Well, yes that, but also a baby that… loves me. I’ve never really experienced that before. Not like this, at least,” he admitted, his wings straightening against his back.

The Hellion understood that more than anything else in this world. More than Jim knew.

“I get it,” he exhaled, running his fingers through his hair, “I’ve never been so relentlessly stressed out and yet so constantly at peace in my life. Like- it’s so much but it’s okay that it’s so much? “

“Right? Like, Flick could do anything right now and stress me out and frustrate me, but I know I’d cuddle her at the end of the day,” the avian sighed, clearly relieved Tango felt the same, “And it’s all so amazing. I just woke up and my boyfriend went all the way downstairs to get her bottle and is now preening me while I feed the baby. What did I ever do to deserve this treatment?”

“First of all, you just have to exist to deserve this treatment, Love. Second, to be fair, you did change her, so it’s not like you’re treating me like a servant or anything,” the Hellion corrected, patting Jim’s shoulder to silently signal that he was done.

The avian scooted over, slotting himself, once again, by Tango’s side. Jim leaned his head against the Hellion’s shoulder and held Flicker close to his chest. She was already asleep again. Tango would never understand how a baby could sleep so much, but he honestly couldn’t mind. Her sweet little face looked so unbearably calm.

By this point, her hair was a more yellow-orange color. Not yet fully yellow, but absolutely on its way. And dear Stars, Tango prayed it happened when she was still here. He wanted, no, needed to know that he was good for something. He needed to know that he at least changed one person’s life for the better.

“Am I selfish for saying that I want it to stay like this forever?” Jimmy asked, his voice almost too meek and quiet to not wrench the Hellion’s heart out of his chest. The canary’s knees were tucking closer to his body and he physically got smaller. Like was some kind of asshole.

But honestly? Jimmy wasn’t selfish for that. Because Tango wanted it too. He wanted to shut his eyes and know that this moment would never end. That he’d wake up and have a family by his side.

Family sounded like heaven. A husband. A daughter. Maybe other kids. All in one house. All loving each other. No hitting, or yelling, or fighting, or unwanted advances. Just family.

“No,” Tango replied, his voice a whisper and just barely able to conceal his shaky tears, “I don’t think that’s selfish at all.”

Chapter Text

It was a few days later and the hottest day of the summer. Except in the tundra where Tango lived. There, it was a nice cool breeze. For once, for the entire time they had Flick, it was warm enough to go outside and not feel like you were freezing your balls off.

Which was why Tango found himself lying down on one of the chairs of the balcony, shirtless, with a very cute baby on his chest in her very favorite Jellie onesie.

The wind lapped on his skin like ocean waves, so delicately tracing the shapes of both of their bodies. The rarer song birds were out today, finally brave enough to venture into the usually frozen wasteland. The trees were finally free of snow, their branches extending gratefully towards the sun.

Tango basked in the heavenly weather. He could feel the soft breathing of Flick against his chest. Her gentle heartbeat pattered on his skin. She was practically vibrating with how loud she was purring. The Hellion wondered when her body got strong enough to do that.

The tiniest part of him felt so proud that her body got strong enough because of him and Jim.

Speaking of Jim, he had gone out on a small errand trip. To get groceries, some new clothes for himself, and some other miscellaneous things. To be fair, everything had been getting progressively harder to obtain. All of the stuff that went quickly and was hard to replace, like soap and stuff of that caliber, couldn’t be imported from Hub like before. So now, many hermits were having to turn to the dark ages and whip up their own concoctions.

Apparently, for a week straight, Doc had been trying to perfect the formula of a certain shampoo because he ‘needed the real stuff because anything else would destroy his fur’. Which, the Hellion supposed, was pretty fair. He had not a clue how creeper self care routines worked, so he really couldn’t talk.

Despite these hurdles, the hermits had been making due with little to nothing. All of Flick’s clothes were handmade, as they couldn’t order anything from Hub, obviously. But it made each and every garment something with a story. Something worth cherishing. Everything Flick owned was something like that.

The wind strengthened, sending goosebumps across his skin in waves. Tango let out a long, steady breath. Flicker opened her eyes and began to squirm a little against his chest. He pat her back, scooting back in the lawn-esc chair to better sit up.

He rubbed the place between her shoulder blades and smiled down at her, “Awake again, Flick?”

The tone was far too fond for a man who was meant to give a baby away. Tango had gotten good at that. He’d gotten good at ignoring the fate he sealed for himself. He’d gotten good at acting as though he could be her dad. He’d gotten good. Too good.

These last few days were like renaissances for parental skills and schedule managing. That, in itself, was a miracle, and only took a three hour long discussion between him and Jimmy. To be fair, that was a lot shorter than the Hellion was anticipating.

It was a very simple system. It was arranged into blocks: chunks of specific amounts of time. Tango and Jimmy would trade free blocks; Tango often went to code and Jim often went to sort out plans for Empires when he got back. The other block was baby duty; which the Hellion had come to accept as something that wasn’t really a chore.

He actually began to look forward to it. A lot.

Those blocks of baby duty and free time only got broken when Scar finally got his babysitting day. Like they’d promised, he was the very next person. Of course, Tango had to have a twisted amount of mental strength to not feel anxious the entire day. As much as he knew that Scar had every capability to be responsible, it wasn’t exactly mentally soothing to know that the guy who was notorious for dying was looking after his kid-

…

Tango couldn’t even find it in himself to correct that lapse.

Anyways, Tango only agreed to Scar having her for an entire day without him and Jim there was if there was either Grian/Impulse supervision. It was only a bonus when both agreed to look after her.

It made sense why Impulse was itching to look after her again. He was that kinda guy to pretend like he’s some level-headed person, but he had a honest weak spot. Tango could say the imp’s weak spot was kids, but it was honestly anything cute enough to trigger that parental instinct.

But why Grian was so adamant on helping Scar was a bit of an anomaly. Of course, his and Jimmy’s brotherly bond could hardly be denied. The canary had briefly explained the rough concept of ‘flocks’ and how while they weren’t exactly literal, they still played a large part in avian dynamics. Tango could’ve chalked it up to some familial obligation; seeing as Flick was practically his niece. It could also be argued that Grian simply didn’t trust Scar enough with a baby’s safety and wanted to help out Impulse. The Hellion suspected it was something else.

Being around an avian 24/7 makes you notice things about their behavior. That species is much more in tune with that part of themselves, unlike Hellions, so they more openly show these things. Tango noticed the way Jimmy acted when he secretly really enjoyed or loved something. The way his wings shifted and eyes morphed. The way Jim’s posture would straighten or his throat would visibly squeeze from holding back a bird-like noise.

It was clear to Tango, and naturally Jimmy, that Grian liked her a lot more than he let on. With how he held her, how he addressed her, how he looked at her. For a standoffish man like Grian, he had an awful big fondness for Flick. Even if he tried to hide it. It was unlike the macaw to be anything other than cheeky and mischievous. But the soft chirps he and Jimmy exchanged when G saw her for the first time, like a secret language, told a big enough story.

Regardless, Tango and his boyfriend had a lovely day together to do as they pleased and get work done. Tango was less productive than he liked, staring at the update photos the three men would send of Flicker for way too long, but he was happy with what he accomplished.

By the end of the day, Tango and Jim treated themselves to a proper date. A date they had been talking about having for weeks. And honestly? In the time they’ve been together, a little under a year, they’d never really gone on a proper date before. After Double Life, Jim and Tango were cut off from each other. It was, honest to the Stars, the worst time of their lives. Tango buried himself obsessively in his coding of Decked Out 2, and Jimmy could hardly take care of himself. Thank the Stars for the Rift opening up and access to Empires, because the Hellion wasn’t sure how long he could take life without Jim.

Seeing each other for the first time after those weeks and weeks and weeks was liberating. Tango had never been happier to kiss a man in his life. He needed Jim in some primal way that was wholly different from anything or anyone else. It wasn’t a lustful need. It wasn’t even a physical need of any kind. Or a romantic need in a sense. Just a need.

It felt like that soulmate tie was still there, even though the games had already ended.

All that to say, the date was fantastic. It was just them; no one else. It was exactly what they both desired after so long. They’d had plenty of alone time by themselves, plenty of time with friends, and plenty time with just the two of them and Flick.

But not the pair one on one.

And it was exactly what they needed.

See, Tango wasn’t the king of self care. Before all of this, he did what he needed to survive. But Now? He ate on a regular basis. He drank water every single day. He took showers often. He groomed his hair and fur. He sharpened his claws. His eye bags grew fainter. His body looked stronger. He started to hate the way he looked a little bit less day by day. He had not a clue what it could be. Maybe it was finally having a rigid schedule and having a partner to hold you to it. Maybe he finally got tired of feeling so shitty all of the time. Maybe he had a new person to live for. To be clean for. To eat for. To become the best version of himself for.

Maybe it was Flicker.

…So what would happen when she left-?

The shadow of an elytra looked overhead. Tango jumped, clinging onto Flick a little tighter. ’It’s a friend’ he had to remind himself. Looking up the Hellion could see large vex wings. Not an elytra. Dark hair, light eyes. Sterile, white coat.

With the thud and a grunt, in front of him landed Cub. He looked a tad worn; put together, but worn. This month has been rough for him, and you knew it was bad when it showed outwardly. Cub was one of those people who was actually levelheaded and neutral when it came to a hard time. But the way he carried himself, the way the vex’s shoulders slumped a little too much, told Tango all he needed to know.

The vex dusted himself off, straightening himself before looking Tango dead in the eyes. His were dark, very dark. Unemotional. Rational. His demeanor didn’t change when looking at Flick. Not really, anyway. Not in a cruel way, not in distaste. But with caution. The same caution Tango once had when staring into her beautiful eyes. Caution in fear he’d get too attached, and leaving her would hurt too bad. Sucks that no one else was like Cub. Sucks that everyone would probably mourn with Tango in the presence of her absence.

His eyes were much cooler than the last time Tango had seen him. The vex had looked at him like he was a wounded puppy. Now, Tango was sitting with the baby against his chest and in a lawn chair. Shirtless. Because apparently he’d gotten comfortable enough. No one had ever seen this side of him. The side that was so effortlessly pulled out by the tiniest little life.

A life so precious, the Hellion was terrified of ruining it.

“Little chilly out for that kind of attire, eh?” Cub joked, a small grin splitting on his face. His wings pinned behind his back and shrank a bit in size.

Tango shrugged, “I suppose, but this is the warmest it’s been all year. I wanted to take her outside so that she could experience the sun’s brilliance more.”

“Hm… well, uh, how has she been? Scar hasn’t stopped talking about her and neither has Impulse,” Cub said huffing a half-amused laugh, “kinda came over to see what all the fuss was about.”

“Oh? Well, has she been living up to your expectations?” Tango joked, sitting up properly and basking in the warm summer light. Cub shrugged again, leaning against the banister.

“Eh… I guess. I mean, it’s a baby alright. She looks cute, but Scar was swearing up and down that she was the best thing since sliced bread,” the vex explained, offering the aforementioned baby his finger, “Not saying she isn’t; I’m just not a baby guy.”

Flicker cautiously took it, looking up at Cub and cooing at him. Cub nodded, shaking her hand in this professional way and stating, “It’s great to meet you, Ms. Flicker, I’ve heard much about your work. Turning Grian into a big ‘ol softie is pretty hard work.”

The Hellion laughed, “Oh, so you noticed it, too?”

“Everyone has,” Cub laughed, “Grian isn’t exactly being secretive.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure she is enjoying meeting you too. She likes people with wings,” the Hellion replied, slipping Flicker into the vex’s arms.

Cub clearly wasn’t exactly a ‘kid’ person. He didn’t really have a great idea on how babies worked, as they are quite unpredictable. The vex would rather stay in the comfort of his mathematical formulas and science experiments. But he didn’t look uncomfortable per se. Rather, he looked much more curious than anything.

Like Flick was a puzzle Cub could solve.

The Hellion huffed out a laugh. That sounded awfully similar to himself a couple weeks ago.

“She… likes my wings?” The vex asked, eyes flickering back and forth between the smaller and the bigger Hellion. She grabbed at the collar of his lab coat and laughed.

Tango stood up from the chair, stretching his back and letting his tail flail behind him. He scratched at his chest, just over one of his nastier scars, “Oh, yea, she loves Jim’s wings. Sometimes she’ll just stare at ‘em for like- a solid twenty minutes. At first we thought it was just his wings, but when Scar, Imp, and G babysat her, she was just starin’ at them. See, she’s already looking at yours.”

Cub nodded, his eyes being drawn away from the baby and onto Tango’s chest.

It wasn’t like the hermits were used to being half-naked in front of each other (unless you were Scar), but they never hid their bodies necessarily. Unless you were one of the girls, who often side eyed the boys when they did stupid shit like that. Tango wasn’t like that.

He didn’t show his skin because of his scars. Those marks would’ve given way too much of his past, because every single one had a horrific story with it. All the gashes and claw marks and honest to god acid and lava burns said all sorts of things without talking.

Cub’s eyes trailed back up to Tango’s, his expression unreadable. The light hit his glasses just right, and suddenly those eyes were hidden. Flicker grabbed his nose, babbling incoherently, but the vex didn’t falter.

All he said was, “Didn’t know Flicker was that merciless.”

That processed in the Hellion’s head for a few more seconds before he burst out laughing. Cub’s face was still as a pond, and Flick started laughing in response to Tango. She grabbed in his direction, and the vex quickly handed her off. She giggled manically, and that only made the Hellion laugh more. Flick looked at him like she was silently saying, ‘I have not a clue why you’re laughing, but your laughs are making me laugh’.

But Tango was breathless, not expecting such a blunt way to address this from such a dry guy. Honestly? That was the best response he could’ve hoped for. Because of all the things that could’ve been said, all of the apologies and pitiful stares, this was what he needed. Not someone looking down on him or feeling bad for him. Just a friend. Just a joke. Just a ‘I see you’ and nothing more. There were no questions, no answers, no nothing. Just them.

So, thanks Jim, for helping the body dysmorphia to go away enough for this moment to even happen. Because Tango would’ve never been able to have that moment with Cub if Jimmy hadn’t pestered him into taking off his shirt all those days ago. Damn, Cub was hilarious.

“Stars,” Tango wheezed, exasperated, “that was really funny,”

The vex shrugged, clearly pleased with himself, “I’m aware,”

Flicker’s hands tapped against the Hellion’s chest. Drawing his eyes to her form, Tango couldn’t help the smile tracing his face. There was a silence between the two men. Tango was suddenly reminded of the times when Cub had joined Hermitcraft. All of the questions the vex would ask, courtesy of his inquisitive nature, and how the Hellion practically recoiled in response to all of them.

Tango remembered hating Cub in a way he hadn’t hated someone in many years. It was like being faced with an immovable object, as he was so damn hellbent on finding out everything he could about Hellions. Of course, that could be expected, as Zedaph was even like that too. All of the Hermits were, to be completely fair. They’re all smart, curious, and incredibly witty people, so of course they’d jump at any opportunity to learn something new. It was just unfortunate that Tango didn’t want to answer. And it was even more unfortunate that Cub was the only one stubborn enough to keep trying.

That hate melted away very soon after Cub had finally relented. The Hellion was able to appreciate him for more than just ‘the annoying new guy who couldn’t take no for an answer’ because of Cub’s genius. Like- the vex was a fascinating guy to be around just from his smarts alone. Cub rocked.

Even now, Tango couldn’t even rationalize why he ever hated the man to begin with. No one hates Cub. Not anymore.

“So I was wondering…” the dark haired man suddenly blurted, turning his head to the side to face the tree-line. Whatever cool-as-a-cucumber demeanor he had melted into something a little more uncertain.

Cub had always been more closed off when it came to these negative emotions. It was too uncertain, too unpredictable. That didn’t sit well with his tendencies. Social interactions didn’t come naturally to him, he said once, and it was easier for him to analyze people rather than feel like everyone else. Tango would narrow his eyes suspiciously if it didn’t mean making Cub even more flustered in this situation. Because another factor to take into account would probably overwhelm the poor guy.

“Yea? What’s up?” the Hellion pressed, offering a small smile of reassurance.

“You can say no,” the vex went on, watching how Flicker put her tail in her mouth, “But we’re kinda having a party later tonight. Just to celebrate… things. And, well, we wanted to know if you, Jim, and the baby will be there. We kinda wanna see you and uhm… you don’t have to.”

A… party?

“Why?”

“Well, because, uhm, Xisuma wanted for everyone to have a nice relaxing time after such a stressful month. And we all wanna see you. Well, I wanna see you. Everyone is mainly excited about Flicker,” Cub explained, running a hand through his dark hair.

Hm. Well, he should’ve expected this. Maybe the memo that said ‘She’s going to be gone soon’ got lost in the mail, because no rational people, who acknowledged that fact, would willingly throw a party like this. But honestly? Tango just wanted to see his friends. Even if it was irresponsible. And he couldn’t just leave Flick with Jim to prevent the baby and his friends from meeting, because what if the avian wanted to go too?

But, why a party? Out of everything, a party? He supposed it kinda made sense because a party was an excuse to get everyone grouped together in one place, but Hermitcraft was filled with chronic nerds.

Tango didn’t need to explain that further.

But still…

“Uh… yea. Sure, I’ll be there with Flick. Don’t know about Jim, though, yet.” the Hellion nodded, propping her up on his hip.

Cub lit up, his eyes sparking like Smokey quartz, and offered a grateful smile, “Okay, I’m glad. People have been waiting to meet her.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad my friends still care about me, and aren’t just keeping me around for the baby,” Tango joked, feeling Flicker shift as she tried to grab his tail. He waved it in her face and pulled it away before she could nab it. She whined, and looked up at him with these eyes that told him ‘How dare you, you insolent peasant.

Cub laughed again, allowing his wings to fall from his back and enlarge themselves in preparation for flight, “She’s got a colorful personality, that’s for sure.”

“Oh yea,” Tango tisked, playfully rolling his eyes as he relented and gave up the freedom of his tail, “she definitely knows how to get her way. She’s lucky she’s so damn cute.”

The vex faltered, his wings half-extended, blowing in the wind. His dark eyes shifted with some emotion before going back to its neutrality. Like he knew something Tango didn’t. Or he was already predicting something to come in some social interaction far into the future. His brain was already working. Like it always did. Because Hermitcraft was for the people whose brains never stopped, whose minds never rested. Who never stopped going and solving puzzles.

Or maybe Tango was thinking too much.

Cub slowly nodded, readying some rockets, “Yea, she’s pretty cute, huh?”

He spoke like he wanted Tango to confirm something. Almost like he was performing an experiment on the Hellion. But Tango couldn’t respond before Cub falcon dived from the balcony and left a trail of colorful fire and smoke behind him.

Flicker put the end of his tail into her mouth. The fire snuffed out temporarily before igniting again once exposed to the warm-ish air. She looked at him with those pretty red eyes. She stared like she loved him.

’You could lose this.’

—

“Yea, I’m just getting dressed. Flick is playing on the floor, so don’t worry,” Tango said absentmindedly, flipping through his clothes, “Do you wanna go? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Silence fell over the call for a little bit before Jim replied, “I do wanna go, I just don’t understand why. Like- it’s Thursday. What do we need a party for?”

“I have no clue,” Tango admitted, “all Cub said was that X wanted everyone to have a good time and meet Flicker, I guess.”

“Mm,”

“By the way, do you want me to go ahead and dress Flick before you get here?” Tango asked, furrowing his brows when the fifth shirt he looked at didn’t go with what he wanted to wear.

Jimmy laughed, “Until you can prove that you can dress a baby in anything but onesies, that’s a big ‘ol no.”

“Ugh, rude,” Tango mumbled in mock offense. The canary was right. Tango was shit at dressing babies. Look at her now; she was just wearing one of her now three Jellie onesies. Scar had sent her home yesterday with plenty of Jellie stuff to last her an entire lifetime.

A lifetime she wouldn’t spend with Tango-

No. He can’t think like that. Not now.

“Besides, I’m almost there anyway. I’m flying through the tundra. I’ll be in your room in like… five minutes,” Jimmy explained before promptly hanging up.

The Hellion sighed, going back to his wardrobe. A small growl of dissatisfaction weaseled its way out of his throat. If he’d done that a week or two before, growling he meant, he’d probably have had a mental breakdown. He probably would’ve cried. He probably would’ve been plagued by nightmares the following night.

He’d probably be telling himself how disgusting he was. How he should be ashamed. How Flicker was fortunate that Tango had the foresight to give her up, and that she wouldn’t have to suffer with him any longer. He’d probably be spiraling right now, and wouldn’t be quite right for the rest of the day.

But he honestly didn’t really notice. It came… naturally. The growl wasn’t directed at anyone, so it wasn’t violent, now was it? And Tango was calm. His heart didn’t squeeze like it used to.

Flick was still on the floor, having her tummy time, or whatever it was called. The Hellion picked out a pair of these black cargos that went well with anything. He still didn’t have a shirt, because despite the pants going with anything, he couldn’t pick one he wanted them to go with. So he stayed shirtless, like he had been these past few days. Tango wanted a more relaxed yet put together look. He didn’t particularly care to seem as though he’d let himself go. But he also didn’t want people to think that he was trying too hard. Stars, this was exactly why he didn’t go to parties.

The door burst open and in came a very giddy canary. Flicker’s eyes practically lit up, and she lifted her head. Her hands grabbed in his direction and Jim power walked over to scoop her up into his arms. The avian giggled and spun around exclaiming, “Oh, there’s my baby girl! I’ve been missing you all day!”

“She’s been missing you, too,” Tango replied nonchalantly and slipping on a white tank top. It was way too tight, borderline a crop top, but it was the only shirt that felt comfortable to have on. ‘Cause of all the time spent without one, Tango had grown a general distaste to the feeling of cloth. Like back in the nether, he wasn’t a big fan of thicker clothing because then he’d get too hot. This tank top was the kind that felt like your own skin.

“Oh, goodness me,” Jimmy mumbled, unashamedly ogling at the Hellion’s body, “is that my absolutely stunning boyfriend?”

“Stunning? I suppose so. Do you think it needs something else?” Tango inquired, looking himself up and down in the mirror, analyzing every detail in his outfit.

The canary shrugged, sauntering over to Flick’s box of clothes, “Some chains, I think. If you’re going for that badass dad look. Maybe a leather jacket if you wanna look like a biker. Sunglasses would also make you look great. I’m just thinking of all the things I’d like to see you wear, not gonna lie.”

Tango hummed, striding over to his jewelry box and rummaged through his options, “Thanks. What are you gonna wear?”

“Me? I’m just gonna wear some of your clothes. Whatever is baggy on you should be tight on me, but it’s fine,” Jim answered before softly hushing the baby while he dressed her.

“Aw… don’t you look so sweet. Gah, don’t cry now,” Jimmy mumbled, reaching around her neck to softly grab her nape, “There we go, all better, huh? It’s just a little bit with the chilly air, you’re okay.”

If there was something that never ceased to send his heart into a whirlwind, it was when Jimmy would grab her nape. It sent butterflies shooting through the Hellion’s veins. His entire body felt like it was made of fluff and goo. That, out of everything else, remained constant. He would never get used to seeing his boyfriend do that. And he didn’t want to get used to it. He craved that it would never get old.

Tango chose a simple silver chain that hung around his neck and a few miscellaneous rings. Slipping everything on and clipping the necklace into place, the Hellion finally felt like he was somewhat presentable. Sliding some studs into his ears, and hanging a pair of sunglasses around the hem of the tank top, he realized he looked like a wannabe-tough guy.

Perfect.

“Look at you, hun!” Jim exclaimed in this sing-song voice. Tango smirked, feeling decently gassed up due to the canary’s compliments. Was the tone a little patronizing for a grown ass man? Sure. But who cares?

“Aw, thanks-“

“Hm? Did you say something, Love?” Jim asked, turning around to finally face the Hellion, “Ah, you look great! See, I told you a chain would look great.”

Tango deadpanned. That was hella embarrassing.

“Look at Flick, though, she’s such a cutie,” he cooed, “I did a great job at dressing her, thank you very much.”

While Tango could be all salty that Jimmy wasn’t actually talking to him, he couldn’t deny that Flicker did, indeed, look adorable. She had this absolutely perfect little pink dress on; courtesy of the amazing Cleo.

And, Stars, she looked so cute. She didn’t have any shoes, because who in their right mind knew how to make shoes? Right, no one. So, until the server opened, she would have to wait on shoes.

Tango purposefully left out the part that he’d be handing her over when the server opened.

But here little Flicker was, in her Sunday’s best, ready to meet the server.

“Doesn’t she look so freaking cute?” Jimmy pressed, picking her back up and placing a kiss to her cheek. Jim held her against his chest, and she practically melted into it. She adored Jimmy. Absolutely adored. She curled up against his chest and relaxed. The avian’s fingers brushed through her hair.

“Look at those curls, hun!” the avian whispered, pressing another kiss to her forehead. Jim slipped the baby into Tango’s arms and walked off into the bathroom, “Hold her while I get dressed and ready, okay? I’ll be quick. Party should be starting in like- twenty minutes.”

“I still have to style my hair, though,” Tango called out, causing Jimmy to pause in the doorway and think for a moment.

“Just get her lil’ seat and we can prop her up on the counter when I’m done getting dressed,” the canary replied, slipping into the bathroom, clothes in hand.

Tango nodded, rubbing the back of her neck when she stared to whine and grab in Jim’s direction, “Ah, you’re okay, Flick. He’ll be back.”

The Hellion brushed his claws against her hair. She… did have curls, huh? He’d never seen a Hellion with curls before. At least not in real life. They were tighter curls, not too loose. Tango hadn’t really noticed them before. He didn’t realize that babies could get curls. But damn the Stars, they were so cute. And now, after all this time, after all the care they’d given, her hair was now… yellow. It was a bright, vibrant yellow. Tango hadn’t noticed how bright it was this morning, probably just considering it yellow-orange. Her transition from red was pretty quick, as Jim said it was a couple hours. But the shift to yellow had taken days.

And Tango had been waiting this whole time. He’d been waiting patiently for the day he could look at her and feel so proud. The day had come and he couldn’t feel happier. She was finally healthy. She was… happy. Every box was checked. And her hair was beautiful. He brushed the pad of his thumb against her cheek. Flicker just smiled at him. One of those smiles, with those sweet eyes, that told him he was going to be okay. A smile that said, ‘I love you’.

And for the first time, maybe ever in his life, he felt like he maybe deserved it.

“Tango!” Jim exclaimed, standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips, “I’ve been calling for you. Have you gone deaf?”

The Hellion jumped, dashing over to the couch and snatching up Flicker’s seat and running into the bathroom. He kissed Jim on the cheek, “Yea, I was waiting forever for you.”

The canary huffed a laugh and took the seat and secured it on the counter. He then picked up Flicker and kissed her nose, “Did you survive without me, hun?”

He sat her down into her chair. It was a cute little thing made of wood and plush material that helped her sit up straight. She was getting good at holding her neck up, really good, and was on track for her estimated age. She had yet to start actually crawling, which she was a little bit behind in terms of milestones, but maybe Tango’s initial guesstimations when she first came were a little off.

The avian squeezed her hand softly before immediately playing with his hair. His hands worked in some water around his roots, and he scooped some styling gel. Jimmy made some soft clicking sounds with his tongue as he focused and Flick eagerly clicked back. While the canary’s clicks weren’t what Flicker instinctually thought they were, it became clear to Tango that Jimmy enjoyed feeling like he was communicating with her. Tango smiled, softly pinching her leg and clicking at her in response.

“How do you do that?” Jim asked, looking up from his reflection for a moment.

“What?”

“The click sound, duh. I mean, I can only do it with my tongue and stuff, but you do it in your neck. I make some other sounds similar to that one with my throat, but I don’t know,” Jim questioned, brushing the side of his finger against his stubble and seemingly debating something.

“It’s in our throat, yea. I don’t know the metrics of it exactly, but it’s just a kind of like a nonverbal hello,” Tango explained, only waiting a beat before blurting out, “And if you’re thinking about shaving your stubble, I’m hitting you.”

The avian laughed, poking out his tongue playfully.

“And keep your tongue in your mouth!”

“Whatever Mr. Not-getting-ready,” the avian joked, playfully shoving the shorter man. Flicker laughed, clapping her hands together, and looking at the two men eagerly.

Tango eyed Jim with a smirk, wetting his hands and ruffling his hair, “She craves violence, Jimmy.”

“No, Tango,” Jimmy said dramatically, “she’s just a girl!”

“You saw it for yourself,” the Hellion sighed, running a hand through his wet hair and slicking it back in that rough yet smooth style, “she wants us to fight to the death.”

The canary’s eyes widened and a flush spread over his cheeks, “I would keep joking, but ya can’t expect me to be funny if you’re over here looking like an angel.”

“Pardon?” Tango asked, wiping away stray water that had dripped down his forehead and onto his chest.

“You’re stupid. But I guess I’m into that so the jokes on me,” Jimmy deadpanned, slipping on a watch and picking Flicker up and out of the seat, “you’re so lucky I love you.”

Tango shrugged, using his sunglasses as a sort of makeshift headband. The Hellion slipped his hand to the avian’s waist and followed him out of the bathroom.

It was about when the party had started when the trio was ready. Flick had done baby things and called for an impromptu diaper change and was really not wanting to be in the harness needed to fly with her.

To be specific, she didn’t want to be in the harness if it wasn’t Jimmy wearing it. Guess it was one of those days where she desperately needed Jim. And the avian had the gall to claim that she didn’t even like him that much. Bullshit.

But it was okay, because even though Tango was losing some prime time with her, it was just as sweet to see her smile. To see her and the love of his life be this inseparable. And a very sudden, very intense guilt crashed into the man like a tsunami. He would be taking that away from Jim. Whatever happiness the canary found with Flicker would be taken away. By Tango.

He said he wouldn’t do this anymore. He wouldn’t break down at every bad thought. He was healing! He was getting better! Because of Flicker-!

Because of Flicker.

…

The wind rushed around them; the cold, frigidness back in full force. The snowy ground was so far down. Flicker was whining and Jim had his hands tightly around her body. His wings spread, and he dipped off the edge, easily swooping down and back up into the darkening sky. But Tango stood still.

This was all for himself. This ‘getting rid of her’ thing. Nobody wanted this. Not even him, but he thought it was for the best. But… it never really hit him how cruel he was being to someone he loved.

But he wasn’t ready yet, right? That’s why he couldn’t have her. He wasn’t ready. He was irresponsible. He couldn’t care for her. She was better off without him. Because he was dangerous. A liability.

A Hellion. A filthy fucking animal.

No.

He said he wouldn’t do this anymore.

Tango’s ankles contracted. His whole body leaned forward. His elytra was half extended. His rockets were loose in his grasp. When he fell, when he let himself go, time slowed down. Jimmy was a bit ahead, already comfortably gliding. But Tango didn’t open his elytra yet.

Because there was something about falling. There was a memory too painful that was there. Falling off of a… cliff face. He remembered the time he was once being chased by four Hellion men. Took a swan dive off of one when he wasn’t looking. But that wasn’t the painful memory, now was it?

There was something else.

Something worse.

Something that hurt more than anything else.

So that’s why he fell. A part of him hoped he’d remember if he fell long enough. A part of him hoped he couldn’t recall by the time he hit the ground. He’d respawn. He wouldn’t die. He could call it an elytra mishap. A mistake. A malfunction. He’d done that a million times. He had ‘tripped’ off of many ledges. Just to feel what it was like. To die.

There was something stopping him the day he went out for redstone. There was a bundle of light in his possession. But now? There wasn’t anything physically keeping him from letting the ground take his breath away. Nothing physical. And yet…

A small glint in the snow. A tiny, minuscule glimmer. Not enough to light up the forest. Or even the space around it. But enough to catch Tango’s eye. The Hellion stared at it. It wasn’t big. But it was there. It was there.

It was probably just a stray torch. Just a small mistake. Something that shouldn’t have survived the snow. But it weaseled its way out. It was determined to be seen. It was determined to grow, even in the ice and snow. And there it shone. So tiny. So insignificant.

But… it was there.

”Your name is older than our ancestors,” she whispered, “Do you know why I chose it to be yours?”

His elytra opened. His rocket lit up.

He didn’t go down.

Because although Flicker wasn’t in his arms, she was still with him wasn’t she?

…

Off to the party he went. Soaring through the dusk sky. The icy air. Trailing behind his entire life. Jimmy and Flicker.

His-

His…

…

His family.

And it hurt a thousand times worse knowing he could never have that. He could never have her.

Because of Tango.

—-//—-///—-//—-

Hellion Biology Lesson 37: Heightened Senses.

Hellions are knows for many things, most being socially unacceptable in the over world. Strangely enough, a feature they aren’t known to have is an increased sense of hearing and smell.

First and foremost, the Hellion’s sense of smell is most peculiar. Like other humanoid species, smell can be vital for identifying members of one’s clan or pack. As well as initialize intimate bonds with other individuals of the same species. Like in the case of werewolves, smell is a very important part of their culture. A werewolf’s sense of smell is incredibly amplified, which means that stronger, and more artificial, smells can be much too overstimulating for them.

While a Hellion’s smell is enhanced, it is nowhere near the capability of a werewolf. It can pick up on subtle notes of another creatures scent, like where they’ve been and who they’ve hung out with, but nothing too remarkable. Smell is to have once been used in warfare for them so they could identify enemies more easily. While some scientists claim it was to identify family, that is not the case.

While it is true that Hellions generally have similar attributes due to a generally restrictive gene pool, this only becomes an issue when Hellions wish to engage in combat. It has been tested, however, that young Hellion children have found comfort in a parent’s, usually the mother’s, smell. This sense, though, is not commonly used. As nowadays, there isn’t much need to use it at all.

Their other increased sense is that of hearing. This is something much stronger than the average human. Again, similar to werewolves, their hearing is tied to the necessity of knowing what’s around them. Strangely enough, their hearing is around 1.3x stronger than that of a werewolf.

This can easily be traced from the hostile nature of the nether. In that dimension: piglins, hoglins, wither skeletons, blazes, and other Hellions prove to be incredibly dangerous. It is vital for their safety that they can hear movement around them. This sense of hearing is actually very closely tied to their ability to sense people behind them.

For Hellions in the over world, these abilities aren’t really necessary (despite the fact that smell isn’t important to Hellions in the slightest). Their hearing only comes in handy when they want to listen to their neighbors gossip! Which is certainly an upgrade from that kind of place.

—-//—-///—-//—-

His tail swished back and forth anxiously as he approached the party. The Hellion wasn’t sure what he was so scared of. Maybe it was the eventual swarm of hermits bound to fawn over her that bothered him. He didn’t know. But what he did know was that the avian’s hand in his back was a comforting presence against his frame.

Jim probably knew. It wasn’t exactly hidden, but Tango supposed he could lay it off more. Tango was holding Flick now, because halfway through the flight over, apparently she kept whining and fussing. And when Jim gave her Jellie plush, and she didn’t quiet down, it was obvious her discomfort came from the lack of a certain parent.

So now, Flick was in Tango’s arms, playing with the chain around his neck. Her fist clenched and unclenched around the cool, silver metal. Her eyes were exploring the shape of it like it was the most exciting thing in the world. Her hands would occasionally go up to the jawline of the Hellion before drifting back down to the hem of the tank top.

The view of a small clearing in the trees was now visible. Torched and lanterns decorated the ground and trees. There were tables and the vague smell of food wafting through the air. In there air existed a buzz of social electricity. The sheer thrill of seeing all of your friends in one place was enough to infect the area with it.

Tango didn’t notice how he held Flicker tighter, but he did notice how Jim placed a wing around his shoulder. The avian looked over and gave the Hellion one of those show-stopping smiles, “It’s just a couple of hermits. What’s the worst they could do?”

Tango reached out with his free hand and took Jim’s, “You’re right. The worst that could happen is getting trapped in a conversation with Scar about his theme parks.”

Jimmy laughed, leaning in to place a ginger kiss on his lips. After a couple more quick pecks from both men, the canary whispered, “Just breathe, love. If you need a break, I’ll take Flick and you can go to a corner. No one will bother you there.”

The Hellion nodded.

This would be fine. It would all be a-okay.

Stepping into the clearing, no one really noticed they were there. Well, no one besides Zed. The sheep satyr’s eyes lit up, but his mouth snapped close. He walked over quickly, not too quickly, but efficient enough.

Once the sheep was in front of them both, his eyes glanced to Flick. That’s what Tango expected, of course. The adoration. The love. The cooing and awing. All of the normal stuff when your good friend had a baby. But something Zed did shocked the Hellion. Despite very clearly wanting to meet her, Zedpah’s eyes were forced back up into his, “How are you, Tango? I haven’t spoken to you in forever. You two holding up alright? Solidarity?”

Jim smiled and shook his head, “You can just call me Jimmy. And, yes, we’ve been good.”

“Yea,” said Tango, “we’ve been great. Now, do you want to meet her?”

“No. Not until I’ve check on you properly,” Zed stated, crossing his arms, “make sure you two are truly fine.”

The Hellion shook his head and sighed, not hiding his smile, as he replied, “We’re really okay. I know you wanna meet her Zedaph. You’re not slick. How about this, we’ll properly catch up in a bit, alright? I’ll find you when I hand her off to Jim later so we can chat.”

“Now,” the avian butted in, taking Zedaph’s hand and offering it to the baby, “meet little miss Flick!”

Flicker took his hand, grasping onto Zed’s pointer finger and pinky with her two. The sheep looked like he wanted to melt. His stoic, determined, and hard face dissolved into a dopey smile, “Oh, hello there! Impulse has told me a lot about you.”

There was a sharp, and high pitched gasp and the sound of quick thuds against the floor. And by Zed’s side was a starry eyed Gemini Tay.

“Well, hi! Oh, I’ve been so excited to meet you!” She exclaimed, leaning over with her hands on her knees. Flick’s eyes practically beamed as she reached out for Gem’s antlers. The cervitaur tilted her head down, giving the baby complete access to her head ornamentation.

“Oi, hun, don’t grab Gem’s antlers,” Jimmy scolded, taking her hands and bringing them back over to Zed’s.

Gem laughed, carefully standing back up, “I gave them to her, but whatever,”

Her tone was that sly, yet with a kind inflection that made you know she was joking. Gem was fantastic at poking fun at people and being plenty mean, but at the same time no one could be depended on like her. If Tango trusted anyone with Flick, it was probably his best friends, Imp and Zed, and absolutely Gemini Tay.

“Hey, Gem, how have you been? It’s felt like forever,” the Hellion greeted, propping up Flick against his chest.

“Oh, I’ve been having a fun time. But, yeah, no, it’s been forever. How’s this little angel?” the cervitaur asked, allowing for the baby to grab at her fingers. Zed had already walked off, probably internally screaming. The satyr stood by Impulse and spoke very expressively with a face that said a million words.

Jimmy sighed, draping an arm around Tango dramatically, “It’s been absolutely wonderful. This guy has been such a good partner. He pretends like he isn’t her favorite, but he’s just humble.”

“Favorite? Sorry, who was she crying for when you got home?” Tango pressed, his accusatory tone being dulled by his massive smile.

“Well, she was crying for me, but she literally falls asleep instantly when she’s with Tango,” the avian argues, though he noted it almost sounded like bragging. Gem giggled before gently squeezing Flick’s hand.

“Well, I’m sure she loves you two equally, don’t you? I was just hoping I’ll be able to babysit her soon. Though, I’m sure everyone has been scrambling to get time with her before she leaves. You guys still going with that?” She rambled, her shoulders tensing a bit once she realized what she asked. Jimmy looked like he wanted to cry. But he just closed his beautiful brown eyes and smiled.

“We think it’s for the best,”

Tango knew Jim wanted to yell and scream and bawl his eyes out and say to every soul here that it wasn’t for the best and that it’d kill him inside to lose her. The Hellion knew because that’s what he wanted to do. But they hid that pain behind a very fake, very forced smile.

And Gem was a little too perceptive, because her eyes darkened. But her expression didn’t waver too much, “About that babysitting?”

“Oh! Yea,” the Hellion blurted, “you can come over on Saturday or something and take care of her. We’ll probably just be working that day.”

“That sounds great! Just text me, I’ll be open,” the cervitaur smiled, offering Flicker and the two men a quick goodbye before trotting back to her original group.

Tango stayed silent, letting Flicker grab at his chain again, but eventually opted to speak, “Jim, I’m uh… sorry.”

“Hm?” The canary inquired, glancing over into Tango’s blue eyes.

The Hellion faltered, his demeanor shifting into something meek and quiet, “About that… I know that Flicker… we-“

“Tango,” Jimmy interrupted, his facade fading for just a moment, “If you wanna talk about that, which I won’t force you to, we should do it when we’re home, okay?”

The Hellion swallowed, but nodded, “Yea. Yea, you’re right.”

There was a bit more silence, and Jim allowed his eyes to scan the party. His eyes grazed over the forms of friends that had been around for years. The avian trailed his hand down to Tango’s hip. He gently squeezed and whispered, “I’ll go take Flick to meet everyone, okay? You go talk with Zed.”

Jimmy scooped up the aforementioned baby into his arms and he eagerly walked up to a group with Gem, Grian, Etho, and a few other Hermits. The Hellion was grateful at least.

A warm hand rubbed his shoulder briefly, and looking behind him, Tango was met face to face with a familiar vex. His glasses were whited out by the reflection of the ambient lighting, but his smile was as clear as ever. The vex’s face was that round, friendly shape. And his whole frame akin to a teddy bear.

“Lookin’ good, man,” Cub greeted, patting the Hellion’s side before walking off to meet with some other friends. The interaction wasn’t much, but it was enough. It was a ‘glad you’re here’.

Tango walked off to a corner, far away from everyone. There were eyes on him. Cautious ones that didn’t want to overstep. Gentle ones that wanted to comfort him. Curious ones with millions of questions. The trees leaned in like they wanted to hear his thoughts. The grass was looping around his ankles as each blade sought to trip him. The butterflies fluttered too close.

The Hellion chose to lean against a sturdy pine. He felt like such a weirdo. Who comes to a party full of friends and chooses to post up on a tree like an angsty teen? Tango felt so stupid. So embarrassed. He couldn’t even fathom how Jimmy could face people so confidently. All their questions, and their need for answers. But the canary could take it all. He could play it off with a smile.

Cleo and Joe were talking to themselves, laughing and having a good time. Their faces bright and clear. Impulse, Zed, and Cub caught up. Grian was swatting Scar upside the head. Keralis leaned against Xisuma with his full wait, and the poor admin was just trying to keep them both upright as papa K and Wels laughed.

Joe caught a glimpse of Tango. His eyes were something unreadable. He looked like he wanted to say a million things. He looked like he had a thousand stories to tell, and yet, he kept everything to himself. Joe Hills did not look normal. He looked like a man kept awake for hours every night because of a simple question. And as they stared into each other’s eyes, it was clear that question, those stories, those millions of things, had everything to do with Tango.

The Hellion forced his eyes away and back to his boyfriend. His amazing, beautiful, capable boyfriend. A man who could take so much. A man who could deal with all of Tango’s bullshit and want to stay. He could hold their baby and not be scared of what other people would think. Tango was horrified. He was scared of the question ‘why don’t you wanna keep her?’

Because even he didn’t have the answer. He had no clue. Because he did want to keep her. He knew that now. He wanted her bad. But there was something keeping him, wasn’t there? It was the memory behind millions of mental walls. Something that killed him.

He stared at the sky.

And looking up made him feel like he was falling. A part of him wanted to reach up, reach out, for someone he knew would never reach back. He wanted to beg, cry, plead for someone to come and hold him. To keep him close. And he knew they wouldn’t.

They couldn’t.

And it killed him. Because he couldn’t remember their face. Or who they were. Or who they were supposed to be. Or what he was missing. Or why that part of him never wanted anyone to get close. Or why the thought of keeping Flicker made him so happy and so terrified. Or why he dreamt of the past every night since he arrived in the over world.

He was clueless. Because he was scared to look beyond the smoke and mirrors. Because it was e-

“Has it been too much?” A soft, warm voice asked. Tango looked away from the darkening sky and into the lighter eyes of a sheep satyr.

“Hey Zed,” Tango replied, sighing heavily in response to the adrenaline in his veins. His heart hammered in his chest, but not from Zedaph’s sudden presence.

The sheep exhaled, “You didn’t answer my question.”

“I know,” the Hellion responded, “because I don’t know the answer.”

Zed paused for a moment. He quietly, but firmly planted himself against a large boulder around waist height. His goat legs crossed, and his elbows propped him up against the cold, dark stone. He gazed up at the sky, eyes grazing over each and every constellation, “I’ve met a lot of people in my life. None of ‘em are like you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ve met maybe thousands of different people of different species. A lot of ‘em parents. A lot of them shitty. Not because of who they are fundamentally, but because they don’t know what children are,” Zedaph went on, taking a small sip from a wood carved cup filled with… a beverage.

The Hellion looked away from Zed’s general frame. He stared into the crowd where Jim was, genuinely smiling and laughing with his friends. All of them. For the first time in forever. With a baby in his arms. She wasn’t holding him back at all. If anything, she was enhancing the entire experience. The canary looked so unbelievably happy. And a little part of Tango sang due to the fact that it was a Hellion baby that so delighted his love.

Zedaph followed Tango’s gaze, “They never treated their kids like people. Kids were only ever things to have, collect, and show off to others. Most treated them like a social obligation. But you…”

The sheep’s pause drew Tango’s eyes back to his. Their scrutinies held each other as Zed spoke up again, “You treat her like she’s a treasure. Not an object. You hold her like she’s a precious jewel, not a prize.”

“So, I ask again, has she been too much for you? Because… she looks and sounds like she’s been a dream. So… why?” Zedaph finally asked.

The satyr didn’t need to explicitly say what the ‘why’ was.

‘Why are you getting rid of her?’

There were so little answers now. Tango remembered when he could give a thousand answers. And they were good, too. Irrefutable. No one could properly fight against any claim. But… now?

He couldn’t think of one.

Not a good one at least.

I can’t take care of her.
Clearly that’s not true, because her hair is yellow. She’s happy, well fed, meeting her milestones. She’s being taken care of.

She would hinder my progress on Decked Out Two. I can’t constantly take care of her.
That wasn’t true, because he was more consistent and more structured now when working. Because he had a set schedule, he didn’t dilly dally. He went in with a plan now. Before he just went in for hours and did what he wanted. And even if he stayed over time, Jimmy was there, and if he wasn’t, there was an army of Hermits who were ready to babysit at the drop of a hat.

I’m not responsible enough for her. I can hardly take care of myself.
Tango has been more healthy, more fulfilled, and more happy than he’s ever been. He’s never been so on top of anything before. He’s finally structured now because he has a real reason to, now.

“I…” Tango began, trailing off at his loss for words, “I don’t even have an answer anymore. I really don’t.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure.”

Silence. Soft chatter. Night wind. Dark trees. Soft glowing from lanterns.

“What do you want to do?” Zedaph questioned, his voice just above a whisper.

Tango had an answer. But he didn’t want to say it. Because it was too much; too ballsy. So he went for the easier answer.

“Whatever is best for her.”

It wasn’t a lie. But it did keep a very important detail out.

The sheep just smiled, scratching his ear and taking another sip of his adult beverage, “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

Whatever he said sounded like a half-truth, but Tango didn’t fight it. He didn’t question it. He didn’t overthink of the secret meanings or connotations.

So the Hellion just nodded and accepted the awkward pat on his shoulder. Zedaph walked off, joining a small group of people involving a couple of redstoners. Minus Mumbo, obviously. Tango turned his gaze to his boyfriend.

It wasn’t too clear, but he was able to catch a glimpse of discomfort or overstimulation in those dark eyes. It switched something in the Hellion’s brain. No longer did he want to mope and be pathetic in the corner. No. His feet were moving and his mind already thinking of a million conversation topics to keep everyone at bay. These were his friends for Ryea’s sake!

Tango effortlessly picked up Flick from her other father’s arms. She smiled at his presence, and Jimmy gave him a grateful regard. The Hellion placed a quick peck on the avian’s lips, just for the extra reassurance. They were gonna have some damn fun at any cost. They shared another glance.

‘You got me, I got you.’

“Oh. Em. Goodness,” a deep, dramatic voice chimed in, “is that who I’ve been hearing about?”

Tango looked down. Bdubs.

The Hellion grinned, “Well, hey! Where have you been, man?”

“Just fartin’ around with other people, blegh. I was making such good progress on my builds when this party was announced. But I heard that a very certain little lady would be here, so I sacrificed some good work,” the human explain dramatically. He waved his hand in the air as he spoke, and Flicker’s eyes were trained on its movements. Bdubs took notice.

He continued to move his hands dramatically, but this time, very much so on purpose, “And, as you know, I’m a very talented man. So I was complaining and complaining to Si-suma about how I could’ve been tweaking my architecture. But he just patiently listened and brought up that he needed to make an announcement so he sent me off. That’s why I’m here, Mr. Tek. Just waitin’ for Si-suma to make his stupid announcement.”

Tango’s breath baited in his engagement with the conversation. Announcement? Xisuma?

“But, it was very worth it to meet this little angel. I’ve heard a lot ‘bout her. She seems great. Speaking of great, how are you on babysitters-?” Bdubs was cut off by a soft clinking from glass and the form of their admin standing on the rickety wooden picnic table at the center of this party.

Jimmy’s hand found its way to Tango’s waist. A soft squeeze was felt on the Hellion’s hip.

“Hear ye, hear ye,” X called, his voice settling the general hum of the crowd, “I have a very important, but quick, announcement I’m sure you’ll all like.”

The avian and the Hellion shared another glance again.

“As you know, we’ve been locked down as a server for about a month now. And for this month, I’ve been acting a little unsavory. Turns out the isolation and not replenishing my basic human needs hampered my progress greatly. As well as make me more prone to mistreat all of you,” the admin continued, awkwardly and regretfully waving the spoon in his hand around. His shoulders were held proud but his eyes swam with so, so much embarrassment and shame.

But something about the speech’s topic made Tango’s stomach drop.

“So, with great pride, I can announce that I believe me and Fwip have fixed the security issue. It seemed to be relating to the rift itself, being a byproduct of rogue code, making a series of tears in multiple dimensions. Luckily, the only tear used was in the nether by little miss Flicker. Us admins were able to solve the issue completely as of yesterday!” Xisuma exclaimed, clapping his hands together giddily. The party erupted into cheers as everyone, buzzed on their adult beverages, celebrated the rather mundane announcement.

But Tango?

He was silent.

And Jimmy?

He was silent.

Both equally and horrifically stunned by the revelation.

“Unfortunately,” Xisuma continued, attempting to talk over and this quell the rowdy crowd, “I want to wait an extra week, give or take a few days, just so we know everything is actually safe. I want the new firewall to have a bit to settle, you know? I make this announcement to say that this lockdown has an official end!”

Tango didn’t need to look at Jimmy. Jimmy didn’t need to look at Tango. They both knew. The two men just stared at X shuffling down from his spot on the table with the help of Keralis and Welsknight. The admin looked happy. The hermits looked happy. Just a few ones, mainly Impulse, Scar, and Grian, looked a little uncertain.

Because no lockdown meant no Flicker.

And that was no one’s decision but Tango’s.

—

The Hellion couldn’t tell you what the rest of the party was like. Everything was just a blur of conversations and pitiful looks. Eyes so full of hurt for the two men. Because they were fooling no one.

Every single person knew they loved her.

Now they were home, in complete silence. Because this dream, this peaceful oasis of family, was going to be gone soon. That had been explicitly stated from the beginning. The second lockdown lifted, Tango would be shipping her off to a nice orphanage in Hub where she’d be adopted by a non-Hellion family. A family that would treat her well, and a family that didn’t have violence in their blood.

Because Hellions were gross. They made gross sounds. Gross movements. They had gross bodies. They had gross eyes and ears. Gross tails and claws. Gross traditions. A gross language. Because Hellions were uncivilized.

At least, that’s what Tango had thought. But something had shifted. His brain didn’t think like it used to. It was healing. The past didn’t hurt him anymore. He wouldn’t let it.

But here he sat, on the edge of his bed. His back facing his boyfriend as Jim quietly put Flicker to sleep after such a long day. The canary’s voice was calm, sweet, angelic. The soft lullaby permeated through the air and imbedded itself into the Hellion’s brain.

They didn’t have much to say. Other than: ‘Shit.’

So that’s why Tango didn’t say anything. He just stood there, now half naked in his sleep pants. His hair was a mess. His face felt dirty from sweat. His cheeks hurt from the forced smiles and genuine laughs. His arms hurt from carrying his light. His life. His Flicker.

His.

“I’m gonna say something,” Jimmy blurted out quietly, as to now wake the sleepy girl, “and you don’t have to respond.”

Tango shifted his head to the side enough to show the avian that he was listening. Jim cleared his throat, and continued in a wavering voice, “I just want you to know that I want her. I want to keep Flick. I want her as my baby. Though I’m sure you already realized that.”

The Hellion’s heart dropped, and that old familiar feeling of nausea and vomit came back. But not for the same reasons as before. Because he once was nauseous over the past; now he was nauseous over the future that couldn’t be.

“I understand it’s selfish. And I wouldn’t want you to feel pressured into something that you’re not comfortable with because I want it,” Jimmy went on as he changed his clothes, “but I love her. And I know you do too. This isn’t just me. I kept it to myself for a long time because I thought her being here hurt you. But I’ve never seen you so damn happy before in my life other than right now.”

The Hellion flinched in response to the harsh curse. Jim didn’t… say words like that. And not with that tone. Tango’s gut squeezed.

“So, I guess I’m saying I don’t understand. You act like you’re some monster, but you’re not. You act like you’re incapable, but you’re the most capable person on this server. You act like you can’t control certain parts of you, but I’ve seen the exact opposite from you this whole time.

And I would never force you to be something you aren’t. Or force you into something you aren’t ready for. Because that’s wrong. You need to understand that when you make that decision for yourself, you can’t consider anyone else. I don’t matter. Impulse doesn’t matter. Zed doesn’t matter. No one does. Because it’s your decision. And I trust your decision.

But I just need you to know, that I’m going to hurt when she’s gone, okay? Because it may be my hormones doing most of the talking, but that’s my baby. Okay? That’s my baby girl. And I’d do anything for you, but losing a child is a lot,” Jimmy explained, simply, methodically, and unemotionally. Like he’d been planning every second of this conversation for the past month. But even through his cold shell, the Hellion could hear just how wet his voice sounded.

The moonlight outline his form as the love of his life stood over the crib. The crib so intricately designed.

The crib was lovely, being this light-colored acacia looking wood. It seemed very sturdy, and decently ornate with the amount of time they had. On the headboard of the crib, at the top center, was a medium sized carving of a flower.

Oh yea… the flower on her crib was a type of lily wasn’t it? Tango didn’t know what species.

The Hellion wished he could be strong enough to give Jimmy the family he deserved one day. He honest to Stars prayed for it. Because the idea of maybe one day being good enough for himself to allow himself a child was too much. The dream felt like it dashed away from Tango’s grasp right before he could nab it.

Just barely out of his arms.

And that dream danced and frolicked into someone else’s life. And not Tango’s. Never for Tango. Never for him would he ever experience Flicker’s love. And that was all because of his own insolence.

As much as he’d like to respond to Jimmy, to tell him every thought Tango had been thinking, he just couldn’t find the words. So he stayed silent. And he let Jim silently change into comfortable clothes. The fabric rustled softly against the canary’s smooth skin. The avian slipped into bed and pulled the covers over his neck. Tango remained sat. And Jim’s back was now facing the Hellion’s back.

“Goodnight, love,” Jimmy whispered, wavering from the obvious tears rolling down his face, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Tango couldn’t even say goodnight.

And he felt like a goddamn coward.

Chapter Text

He had been pretending to sleep for about two hours.

Why?

Because he’d been terrified to meet Jim’s eyes.

It was two days since the party, and Flicker was currently being babysat by Gem. Flick had whined for Tango to come with her. But he was pretending to sleep. Jimmy was working right now, probably, and Tango? He was stuck in bed. Because his whole body refused to get up. He had pretended to sleep so Jimmy wouldn’t want to talk to him. He had pretended to sleep so he wouldn’t have to see her beautiful face. He’d pretended to sleep because he needed time alone.

The sun was no longer visible through the window, meaning it was probably around noon now. The crib was empty. Jim wasn’t here. This was his life before, wasn’t it? He’d been alone for years. So why did this morning feel different? Why did this alone feel different from the alone he felt all of those years before?

He’d been alone for most of his life. He’d been his only solace since five. He’d been the only constant in his life for Stars know how long. So why after all of this damn time did he not want to be alone anymore? He’d once resigned himself to the solitary life even with a massive group of friends. Back then, it almost annoyed him when the hermits would come to him. Before, he saw it as too much work to live with someone else. He assumed he couldn’t live with other people, so why bother?

But now, lying there, in the dark room, with trinkets of a happier life sprinkled throughout, he didn’t want to be alone anymore. The thought of going back, the thought of Flicker being out of his life and Jimmy going back to Empires, haunted him. He didn’t want to be alone anymore.

Because for the first time, truly, he had genuinely began to question if the decision he made a month ago was worth it. Before, he’d dreaded it, he’d acknowledged that he didn’t want it, but he’d never actually wondered if it was the wrong call. He always had seen it as this inevitability that had to be fulfilled. But he supposed that’s how he always saw life.

That’s how he always saw himself.

He couldn’t change. He was static, stagnant, forever a singular, one dimensional thing. It was inevitable he’d end up alone. It was inevitable he’d die tragically. He was… a Hellion. But that fact couldn’t be explained to others. They would always tell him ‘there’s another way’, but was there? What other choice did he have? What else than the fate that was bestowed upon every single Hellion before him?

What about the Hellions before the over world came into the nether? What did they do? Did they love their children? Did they keep their children? Did they hold them when they cried? Did they fall asleep together? Did they know themselves better than the other species? Could they speak for themselves? He supposed not technically, since Hellspeak was a newer edition to the over world’s occupation for the first 500 years.

He didn’t know the history too well. Just the broad strokes. And the stories from his mother. She’d told him that his name was created from the time when the over world came. That every male firstborn in their family had to have been named TangoTek. That out of all the children, the firstborn’s job was to produce another son to pass that name along to. Because his name was special. That implied that in her family, Hellion pairs stayed together, given that they had more than one child. Almost like they… loved each other. But was love an option for Tango?

He loved Jimmy. Yes, with everything he had. But was it love? Truly? What was love? Was it the tingle you felt when their eye met yours? Was it the thrill when they got close? Was it the contentedness when they promised to stay? Was it the small moments to themselves? Or was it what everyone else saw of them?

Was his love any less than Jimmy’s because he was a Hellion?

Or was it the same?

Could he ever experience love like others could? Could he love Flicker like a father should?

He did care for her. He held her close. He loved her smile. His heart warmed when her hands grasped his. His chest fluttered when she laid on it. His eyes wanted to water when he woke up to her face in his. His arms wanted to contract around her when she cried. He wanted to purr and growl and hiss and click and do all of those disgusting things for her. If that’s what she wanted, of course.

His whole body needed Flicker. But not in the way that he needed Jim. No. It was very different.

Jimmy was by choice. It was a need he actively allowed himself to have. Tango could have pulled away. Shielded himself when the canary got too close. Ran when the avian came in for a hug. Or closed his eyes when Jimmy smiled. But no, Tango stayed and he indulged in every moment they had. Because there was no greater addiction than Jim’s very touch.

There was nothing more beautiful than the way he dragged his fingers across the Hellion’s skin. There was nothing more magical than how he delicately traced every single scar on his body like it was art. Like it was something to adore. Like his past wasn’t something to hide. Like every dent and fault wasn’t something to shun.

Like it was something to love.

The clock ticked and tocked from across the room. The soft, monotonous sound was like a pin directly on the nerves in his brain. His tail flicked back in forth in this aggressive, agitated manner. He felt his hair begin to softly simmer against the plush fabric of his pillow. Each strand heated up with his distress. Not yet a flame, but not yet calm.

But Tango’s need for Flicker was more akin to something that was completely out of his control. It wasn’t his decision that she chose him. She chose them. And it wasn’t his choice to be okay with that. Because he just was. That fact had nothing to do with anyone else. He truly believed that.

But at the same time, could he ever have the instincts of a father? His own father certainly had none. He didn’t know. He didn’t know if what he’d already been experiencing was ‘paternal instincts’. What if they weren’t?

But at the same time, if they were, what did that mean?

And why did he want to call off ever giving her away and keeping Flicker all to himself? Was he selfish?

Maybe he was. Maybe that was just what he’d always be. Because he…

He…

He was a fucking Hellion.

Something so vile and disgusting, he was stupid for ever thinking he could be more than that. That’s just the way it was, wasn’t it? The way of life? Everything from the nether would all rot. Boxed in with no sky, they would rot.

Flicker was the only exception.

Because no other Hellion deserved mercy. No other Hellion deserved empathy. Nothing they did would ever be morally right. Because that’s just how it was. Wasn’t it? That was the way things were. And would always be. Which made it good that Tango had the foresight to give Flicker up to a nice orphanage in Hub, right? It was good that Tango would request Flicker not be placed with a Hellion family, right?

It wasn’t like saying that was e-

Ping!

JoeHills: Howdy Tango! Was wondering if you were up for doing some errands with me! Heard the baby and Jimmy were out. Hope you aren’t too busy!

Hm.

Odd… but… did he have a choice? Well, sure he did, he always had a choice, but if he wanted to get out of bed today, he’d have to do it for someone else. Because he didn’t have the energy to do it for himself. So, shouldn’t he get up for one of his oldest friends?

The Hellion stared at his communicator for a very long time. He debated, he wrestled with his thoughts, he argued with his apprehensions, and he scoffed at his reasons to go. But in the end, he found himself getting up.

At first, all he could do was swing his legs over the side of his bed and let them dangle above the wooden floor. He stared at his feet, hands wrapped around his stomach. He was nauseous. But he has been nauseas for the past 24 hours, hasn’t he?

The morning after the party, he physically couldn’t live with himself. Seeing Jimmy’s eyes, it was like seeing a rotting corpse. Flicker was nonetheless happy, but she was noticeably more reserved. It killed the Hellion inside knowing that she could sense it, couldn’t she? She could sense that her care givers were upset. She was quieter. She didn’t smile much yesterday.

And that, that sight, it gutted him. Because it was his fault, was it not?

…was it not?

Tango stood up from bed, feeling all the blood rush in and out of his limbs, and his head grew light. But he stayed still. He didn’t waver, and once the dizziness had left him, he walked to his closet. He stared at his clothes.

And for the first time in many, many years, he felt guilty for his clothes. Like he didn’t serve them. Because what if the adoption center didn’t allow for Flicker to keep all of her clothes? What if she wasn’t allowed to keep much of anything from her life in Hermitcraft?

Tango wanted to hurl.

What if she wasn’t allowed to keep her name?

He got out his phone and typed a message back

Tango: Sure! Just tell me where to meet you and I’ll be there in 10 or so.

A little part of him wanted to scream at himself for even wanting to go with Joe. A little part of him wanted to wallow in his sadness. A little part of him said that it was all so fucking pointless.

And yet, here Tango was, throwing on his blue robes meant for his garb for Decked Out Two. His ‘character’ per se. He didn’t have much energy to style himself. Why should he bother? He didn’t have anyone to look good for anymore. Or at least, he won’t in a few days.

Tango was already drained. He already wanted to go back to bed. But he didn’t want to be alone anymore. He didn’t want… what he had before.

But did he deserve that? Did he deserve that happiness? Or did he deserve that dread?

He walked out of his room. His hair was a mess. His face looked dead. His body moved through the citadel like a ghost. Each step and sway a memorized feeling over the past month’s routine. And that autopilot lead him to pause right in front of the kitchen doors. He didn’t go in because he didn’t feel like cooking right now, and Flick wasn’t there to feed, so why bother? He felt a bit thirsty, and hungry to be fair, but whatever. He’d deal with it later with Joe.

So, against his bodies better judgment, he found himself striding to the door. He could’ve just jumped off the balcony with his elytra, but he knew what he’d face if he fell. He knew he wouldn’t open his elytra. He knew what he’d do, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it with Flicker still on the server. So he walked. He strode through his castle of isolation all by himself. He built the citadel in the tundra so people would stay away. So he’d have a better excuse to be alone.

But Tango didn’t want to be alone anymore.

By the time he got to the doors of his castle, he got that itch to code again. To hide away again. If he could sink back into the redstone of Decked Out right now, he’d be happy. Or at least, he thought he’d be happy. He’d been happy recently, given that he and Jim finally nailed down a proper schedule to work with. But before that, he was miserable. But Flicker wouldn’t be here anymore, so why did it matter? Why did he care?

He loved her, but he’d loved a lot of things in life that he lost.

The cool air of the outside whipped against his face. It wasn’t as cold as it used to be. The trees drank up the sunlight greedily and the forest almost felt alive. Every sound and screech came from a creature deep within the flora. The Hellion shut the door behind him by pulling the lever. It took exactly seven mechanical clicks for everything to be locked. No going back. Only forward.

Tango got out a rocket. He opened his elytra. There, on the bridge, right down the middle, he’d begin his flight. Tango wouldn’t walk to wherever Joe wanted him to. He’d fly. But he won’t fall.

He wouldn’t fall.

He couldn’t fall.

Because he wouldn’t stop himself from hitting the cold, hard ground if he did.

—

Something about the way the human acted rubbed Tango the wrong way.

Joe was never normal by any means; the Hellion supposed that weirdness started the day Tango came to Hermitcraft. Joe was kind, very kind, but there was something in his eyes. Something… darker. Like Joe was holding something back. Tango later learned about ‘southern hospitality’ and ‘small town polite’. But he never learned why Joe was so… off. The Hellion couldn’t blame the man at all for his misgivings in the past, but it was decently nice to have them gone.

But his oddness and strange demeanor bloomed and blossomed with time. Considering who Joe was a couple years ago, the way he currently acted made him seem like a lunatic. Of course, it never really bothered the Hellion at all. Joe never bothered anyone. It just wasn’t in his nature to be troublesome in a negative way. Joe was the closest thing you could get to a ‘perfect man’.

In terms of values, to be clear.

But Tango couldn’t not at all, for the life of him, tell why Joe was acting weirder than normal now.

See, when he showed Tango the list of errands that needed to be completed, the man had this strange aura around him. He kept stealing glances in Tango’s direction. His eyes would dart away. His shoulders tensed. His form was shifty. Something was wrong. But at the same time, he couldn’t exactly say for sure Joe’s out-of-the-usual manner was his own fault.

Because at the time, Tango wasn’t himself either. Well, he wasn’t the Tango that had been around for the past month. The Hellion could not honestly remember what he was like before Flicker. His general happier and more upbeat attitude had melted into this closed off mess of dread and shame and guilt and anger. All of those yucky, bad feelings that kept Tango up at night. So it was more than likely that Joe was simply… reacting in response to Tango’s off demeanor.

They had met in the center of the shopping district. The human greeted him enthusiastically, like normal, and talked about how excited he was to finally get some stuff done for once. How ‘it was always better with a friend in tow’. Joe Hills, after showing Tango the to-do list, rattled on about procedure and how lovely it was to not be alone while doing this because everyone was busy.

It wasn’t until Joe actually looked into the Hellion’s eyes that he went silent. The human looked like he knew something Tango didn’t, and he looked a little upset at that fact. Joe’s dark brown eyes, similar to Jimmy’s but much, much darker, steeled for a moment. And his jaw tightened. Joe Hills never really got angry, so Tango didn’t even know what to look for if he ever showed signs. But that face, that subtle irritation, told the Hellion plenty.

Or at least, he believed it told him plenty. Because what else could Joe be mad about? It was obvious he was upset that Tango was moping about not keeping the baby. Or maybe, Joe was upset because he remembered Tango wasn’t keeping the baby.

Right?

Joe stopped in front of the quaint little shop made of various different colors and nice wooden trim. The spruce was lacquered but a bit worn near the bottom of the building. Silk-like banners of all colors hung around the windows and were hung like dramatic curtains. The human sighed and looked into a shulker full of diamonds.

“This store is gonna take quite a bit of my savin’s,” Joe mumbled, tucking a strand of his hair that had fallen in front of his face behind his ear, “But who am I to complain? I used up all my wool, so I guess it’s on me.”

Tango nodded, pulling his robes over his form, “I can never go to the shopping district and not spend everything I own.”

Joe laughed, “Oh, ain’t that right. I swear, if it weren’t for my own successful business ventures, I’d be so poor, I couldn’t afford to pay attention.”

The Hellion let out a small chuckle. Even in his less-than-ideal mood, Joe was still the same charming guy, wasn’t he? Tango nodded, “Yea, I get it.”

Tango watched the other man saunter into the cute little store pushing his way through two thick mahogany doors. The Hellion followed suit, taking in the warm air of the store. The walls were lined with chests probably filled to the brim with an assortment of dyed wool. Soft sweaters and plushies were made from the soft fabric. Shirts, looms, needles, thread, and thimbles filled boxes upon boxes. A small little cat plush caught Tango’s eye. The Hellion picked it up and smiled. It didn’t look like Jellie, but he was sure Flick would love it.

He stopped his train of thought when a pit of dread opened in his gut. Because he wouldn’t have her anymore to give it to her, would he?

“Hey!” Joe called, waving the shorter man over, “Come help me carry some bags of wool. I only got two arms.”

Tango put the cat down and walked over to carry some sacks of multicolored wool. Silence enveloped them both. Joe stared at the chests and seemingly contemplated which color he should get and what shade. Usually, Joe would rattle off to Tango about every single thought that entered his head with these usually low-effort task. But today..

Today, Joe was quiet.

Tango stared at the rest of shop away from Joe’s frame. Parakeets were in the corner, munching on seeds and preening each other. A flock. A family. More finely woven banners decorated the walls and hung from the ceiling. One parakeet softly chirped, and Tango’s whole body tensed.

It sounded exactly like Jim.

The Hellion felt eyes on the back of his head, and he turned to see Joe staring at him with incredulous eyes. They stared at each other for a long time before Joe opened his mouth, “Are you ‘kay? You jumped real’ bad. Your hair kinda flickered for a second.”

Tango shook his head and cleared his throat, “Yea I’m fine, I just thought I heard something.”

Tango couldn’t stop thinking about Jim. He couldn’t stop thinking about his eyes. And the way Flicker grew quiet. How Tango couldn’t think. How he had mourned all day yesterday. Neither of them left the citadel. They remained inside with Flicker. Jimmy held her most. Because it seemed like he was holding back sobs. His pained expression. That cold day. Yesterday. Jimmy’s eyes. Cold. Brown. Dark. Mourning.

Mourning.

He loved her.

He loved her.

He loved her.

And Tango was taking her away.

From him.

From himself.

From himself

Why did Jimmy let himself fall in love with her?

Even when Tango said they wouldn’t keep her?

Why did Tango fall in love with her even when he told himself he wouldn’t keep her?

————
——-
—
—-/\/\/\/\/\/\/\—-

“Are you okay, Tango? You look pale,” Joe asked, placing a hand on the Hellion’s shoulder. He stopped Tango from slipping. He hadn’t done that in a bit. The sensation was so strange. Tango was never aware of when he slipped, and when his mind went blank. Joe’s hand was firmly on Tango’s shoulder as he stared bug eyed into the Hellion’s blue ones.

Tango blinked, clearing his throat, “Uh- yea,”

He wasn’t convinced. Neither of them were. But Joe nodded, retracting his hand; returning them to his sides. The human swallowed, turning his body back to the chests of wool, “I had, uhm, gotten wool at the beginning of the season that was supposed to last me the entire time here, but I kinda used all of it. For Flicker’s clothes-“

Joe cut himself off, probably internally kicking himself. Tango honestly couldn’t find it in him to care all too much. If anything, he just felt a bit guilty for using up all of the poor human’s wool. But it was a bit ironic that he was doing all of this with Joe to get away from all of that stuff. But no matter how far he ran, he couldn’t exactly escape them, now could he?

“…Sorry,” Joe whispered, pulling out a few more bundles of teal colored fluff and stuffing it in a bag.

They spent another half hour in silence gathering up wool that Joe needed to replenish. Tango just followed him around like a duckling. The Hellion forced his eyes all across the surfaces of the wool shop. The lanterns that hung from the ceiling softly glimmered behind the slightly warped glass.

By now, the Hellion’s arms were incredibly sore with at least thirty pounds of multicolored sheep fur. The bag’s handles dug into his arms and he couldn’t wait for Joe to finally count out the proper amount of diamonds to pay for this. Because the very second Tango could, he’d shove every ounce of this stuff into Joe’s inventory.

The Hellion could feel his impatience grow. His foot tapped quietly against the creaky floorboards. The clouds moved quickly outside.

“Man,” the human sighed, scratching his beard, “That put a dent into my wallet.”

Tango nodded, handing off the several bags and watching each and every one fizzle into Joe’s inventory. His arms buzzed with new, hot blood flow, and he felt as his limbs slowly began to sleep. He sighed, clicking his tongue and watching the last large bag of pink wool evaporate into the southern man’s inventory.

“Alright, what’s next?” The Hellion questioned, watching Joe get out his list. Joe sighed, making some various noises as he thought and considered the next options.

The man brushed a strand of his dark brown hair behind his head and looked up, “We could do a bit of smeltin’. I need a ton of iron, and my super smelter is like… super broken. So, I was just gonna use a ton of furnaces.”

“Ah, I see,” Tango replied, following the man trotting into a lush forest. The walk was short, but eventually, the two men situated themselves in an outcropping in the trees. Dappled light danced on the vibrant plush grass, trees circled in on them like they wanted a hug. Or like they wanted a fight.

Joe began his work, crafting some furnaces out of stone. The man glanced at Tango, tilting his head and gesturing for the Hellion to join him. Tango hesitantly stepped forward, waving his hand and placing down a crafting table right next to his friend.

The Hellion felt comfortable. No talking. But no awkward eye contact. They both could work on something, and that was the best part about knowing Joe. One of the best thing about having friends, Tango had learned, was the privilege of being silent and still comfortable.

In the nether, silence was plotting to take something: your valuables, your remaining innocence, your life. Anything. Tango had that love-hate relationship with the lack of sound. Silence meant you were solitary, but at the same time, that solitude was excruciating. Tango never knew why. He had always been told Hellion’s were solitary by nature. But every waking moment alone in the nether killed him on the inside. Every single day, walking through that desolate, evil, angry place, he dreamt that one day he’d have… a family.

And that was the thing with Joe. With his friends. With his boyfriend.

With Flicker.

He could have that solitude, but he wasn’t alone.

And, Tango felt comfort in that. This was why he supposed he chose to come with Joe today. Deep down, he knew it would turn out this way. Because the last thing he needed was to rot in bed, but equally, the other last thing he needed was a busy day filled with menial tasks to drain his already depleted energy. But he was outside, in the warm air, surrounded by soft chirps and rustling. The breeze tickled the leaves and allowed them to whisper secrets to each other.

Tango took in a deep breath, taking some of the furnaces he crafted and placing them in the soft grass to the side. He poked in the oven and filled it with coal before lighting it ablaze with a small flame on the tip of his finger. Sliding in the raw iron and watching it glow into a vibrant, shining orange.

“Y’know…” Joe began, breaking the silence. His voice seemed uncertain. His words like they were walking on ice. The human’s dark brown eyes darted to Tango’s.

“Hm?” The Hellion offered a small indication he was listening, despite his eyes not being on Joe’s anymore. His tail swished back and forth, the fire combing through the blades of grass. Tango stared into the burning furnace. He was a little too unnerved to look Joe Hills in the eye.

“Back when I was young, way too young if I must be honest; I think I was maybe seventeen? My family needed the money, I needed work, so I chose this job,” The human’s eyes went on, making another furnace and placing right next to the one Tango was staring into.

The long haired man stayed still for a moment, but he quickly walked away and back to the table. He let out a shaky sigh, “I know how this will sound. I’m sorry for not tellin’ you sooner, but I hope you’ll understand why I kept it from you.”

The Hellion’s shoulder’s very visibly tensed. His tail stilled. His hair shimmered a little brighter; just on the edge of igniting.

Over and over.

Every time he felt good, every time, he could feel himself fall again. Everyone around him held out their hand. They smiled at him. And every time he felt himself fall. So he would run.

And dear god he wanted to run right now.

“I used to be a nether tradesman. I, uhm, speak Hellspeak roughly. I spent over three years living in the nether. That was before I came to Hermitcraft,”

…

So Joe knew this whole time, huh?

—

His hands couldn’t stop shaking.

His shoulders ached against the hard, paper thin mattress. Tango faced the wall, in his small corner. His tiny body curled into a tight ball. His hair roared in this steady pyre. His chest squeezed as his whole body forced out a painful sob. But he was quiet. He had to be.

Mama was asleep. Well, Tango hoped she was asleep. She was breathing, which was good, but it was shallow. Her form, haphazardly strewn on the bed in her panicked loss of consciousness, had itself burned into Tango’s mind.

Papa was yelling, like usual. But this time, mama fought back. She yelled back. The panic was too much. She couldn’t take the stress. She never could.

Lately, any kind of stress or negative emotion got her lightheaded.

Dad left the house in his embarrassment, most likely caused by his strange way he showed his love. He did love Tango’s mother. Even when they fought every night. Even when he yelled. Even when his mother begged for him to not take it out on Tango.

Even when he did anyway.

His gut ached from his father’s punch. And now, on his tatty little scrap of a bed, he’d never felt so small.

Their little shack was quiet now that his father wasn’t there. It was peaceful. Tango loved when his dad left. Every morning before Tango woke up, he’d be gone searching for food and water. All for his mother.

Tango was just lucky his mother loved him enough to give him some of her food and water. Because his father sure as hell wouldn’t.

Tango would get up and hug his mother as she slept, but his legs hurt too much. He couldn’t walk too much anymore either. Mama was already too weak, so Tango had been learning to feed himself, despite his age. But recently, walking became a chore and a waste of energy. Lately he’d only been walking in the morning to her bed so they could hold each other.

Tango’s body forced out another sob, and every muscle ached horribly. The little Hellion just wanted to cry from the pain alone, forget the mental anguish.

The door opened.

Tango stilled. He held his breath. His whole body stopped shaking on reflex. Eyes wide, fists clenched, his already grown-in claws dug into his palms. He was much too old to be as scared as he was.

Five was old enough to not feel that fear.

Heavy footsteps rocked the solid floor. It didn’t take long for Tango’s fur just under his nape to stand up. His skin prickled with the feeling of a threat. His father’s heavy breath loomed over the limp body of mama. Father’s breath was shaky. Like he was crying.

Good. The bastard should cry for what he did to his mom.

But his schadenfreude was quickly snuffed out when scrutinizing eyes made its way to the back his form.

…Oh Ryea, please, keep him safe.

But he knew She wouldn’t listen. After all, She hadn’t listened to Her people in hundreds of years.

Footsteps. His father stood over him. Tango felt smaller than he had in years. His heart had never raced so fast. He’d never felt so scared.

“I know you’re awake,” his papa muttered, kneeling and plopping down by Tango’s bedside. Neither of them moved. Tango refused to respond to him. It wasn’t necessarily an act of rebellion, but instead a physical inability.

Father sighed, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

His voice was wet. Pathetic. Hesitant, weak hands made their way around Tango’s waist. His entire body went cold, and he stiffened. Father noticed and paused for another moment before bringing Tango closer. His head was pressed against papa’s chest. His large hands held him close. Tango was terrified. His father pressed his nose against Tango’s head, which had, for some reason, snuffed out. His father breathed in Tango’s smell, like his mother did often, “I’m sorry.”

“I know it’ll never make up for it, though. My father once tried to apologize to me. He acted worse than I did.”

Tango felt his father’s tears drip and flow onto his scalp and down his forehead. His body stopped shaking. He hated his father. Despised. But despite that, he found himself leaning into the touch. The strong hands that held his body. In the arms of his abuser, he felt safe. Though, knowing that father would never hold him like this again stung. But that pain felt so normal. So comfortable. He never wanted to run when the pain felt so familial. And Tango felt comfortable, because he wanted to be held like this more than anything. He needed it.

“This place, the cess pool it is, poisons you. You become the dead rot beneath your feet. Because you don’t know what else you’d do,” his father whispered, “what life could I have lived? Did I have a choice? I look at your mother, so sweet and kind, something I’ve never loved more, and I get so angry.”

Tango didn’t attempt to look up at his face. Hot tears fell down the little Hellion’s face. But they weren’t his own.

“Because she had a choice. She had a choice no one else did. She knew her options. And I feel so envious of that,” He whispered, holding Tango just a little tighter.

His chest expanded as he took in another breath of his son’s smell. Father’s chest contracted harshly as he let out a painful sob into Tango’s hair. The little Hellion had already gone practically limp in the arms of his dad.

His sobs turned from something mournful to something a lot more angry, “I don’t know why I hurt her. I know why I hurt you, though. I hate you. You made my wife sick.”

“But at the same time, I created you. She got worse because I knocked her up. I guess it was never your fault,” His father sighed, body shaking once again with uncontrollable cries.

“I don’t really know why I hurt her. I was never a violent man. I didn’t know why I couldn’t stop myself from hurting,” he mumbled, “but now I just hurt because I can. I hurt because it feels good to feel strong, and I don’t know why.”

Tango shut his eyes. Never had he ever felt so calm in the presence of his father. But tomorrow wouldn’t be the same. Papa would make sure of it. “Look at me, crying over my own mistakes. I’m so pathetic.”

Silence. Mother’s breathing was quieter. Tango felt this strange, horrible sensation coursing through his entire body. He missed his mother even though she was still here. Tango was grieving something within her. Tango hoped her breathing would get louder one day.

Tango hoped her hair would turn yellow. Or at least orange. Anything but red.

“I used to pray to Ryea, you know. Every night. But I stopped praying when my dad killed my mom and threw me out. I stopped believing,” father blurted, offering no context for his train of thought.

“But I still pray that you’ll better than me,”

Tango knew he’d be better. There wasn’t a world where he wouldn’t be. Because there was no one he despised more than his father. He wasn’t going to do what he did. We wasn’t going to bend to any will. Tango was stronger than that. And knowing that his father still hoped he’d be better helped. Because-

“I doubt it, though,” papa whispered

…what?

“You’ll understand why I did what I did one day. I’m sure you will,” His father grumbled, letting go of Tango’s tiny, frail body and watched as it tumbled to the floor. Uncaring. Unloving.

Standing up, he towered over the little Hellion. His fiery red eyes weren’t angry. They weren’t mourning. They were something else. They were something deeper, darker. Like all of the emotions in his body were squeezed out.

“Because Hellions are rot. We are the lowest of low. And I wish everyone knew that. I wish this damn species was crushed beneath the over world’s feet. And we’d deserve every second.”

Father staggered over to the door. His shoulders were relaxed, and his whole form seemed to be hung by strings. Like he was a whicker doll dragged around by golden chains. He faltered once he got to the door. Like he remembered something.

His head turned.

Tango saw his horribly deformed, scarred face calm for the very last time in that moment. He opened and closed his mouth serval times before uttering a low phrase to Tango like a growl.

“But not your mother. Never your mother.”

And then he left.

For a moment, the little Hellion just wanted to cry. But there was a little voice, a little flicker of hope, that maybe he could be different. Maybe, when he became a father, with a woman who actually loved him and wasn’t just there out of obligation, he could love his child and shield them from the pain of this place. Maybe he could be exactly what his father wasn’t.

Tango turned to face his sleeping mother.

She was awake now. She was staring at him. And this proved to be a great moment to waste energy on walking. So that’s what Tango did. He shakily got up… he stumbled over as mama reached out to hold him…

…

The memory refused to resurface.

—

Tango stayed staring into the cooling fire of the furnace as Joe stood behind him. Neither of them had spoken for a very long time, Tango being tongue tied due to his own memories. But Joe was seemingly at a standstill with the Hellion.

The grass tickled the base of his tail, which stood rigid, still, in the flowing blades. The Hellion took in a breath and reignited his thumb to heat the coals again. He brushed his thumb against some of the cooling ones in the front and allowed them to begin glowing that red-hot glow again.

Neither of them wanted to speak. It was clear that wherever Joe was going, it was a sensitive subject. The human was surely second guessing himself.

But the thing about southern men; they never give up. And they sure as hell are stubborn.

“I used to hate you guys, y’know. Even after three years livin’ in that place, I didn’t understand you. I never did try, but when you arrived to Hermitcraft, I was pissed. I had been tryin’ to run away from the nether, and suddenly something from the nether followed me,” Joe began, shuffling to sit on the crafting table behind him.

The human stared up to the sky, “I thought I knew everythin’. I was arrogant in that way. I assumed you’d be somethin’ dark. Somethin’ evil. I treated you kindly, because I didn’t want to set you off, but I kinda assumed you’d break eventually.

After all, for my entire life, I’d been told by everyone around me that everythin’ in the nether is devilish and evil. But by the end of season 3, you were still kind as ever. Learnin’ English. Learnin’ redstone. Learnin’ how to live. I decided to swallow my pride and learn myself.

‘Picked up some rotten book called ‘Hellion Biology Lessons 101’ and thought I knew everythin’ about you. The book ‘confirmed’ everythin’ I thought I knew and more. So, I went back to my old ways of being polite to keep the peace with you, and I waited for the day that you’d finally lash out.”

Tango didn’t necessarily expect to feel as betrayed as he did right now. He’d been telling himself the same things about himself for Stars know how long. But to hear it from Joe felt different. What did he expect? Of course the guy who grew up hating his species would hate it even after meeting him. He supposed he was just desperate for that validation, even when he didn’t seek to obtain it himself.

“But it was someday in season 4 when you were stressed for a reason I don’t remember. Your hair was all fiery. You looked like you wanted to kill someone. I thought that you’d snap and X would just have to ban you. But you didn’t. You composed yourself. And for some ungodly reason, it shocked me.

I’m ashamed I ever thought that of you, but I can’t change the past. I just have to live with it. The bigotry I held. The hatred I festered. The years and years of stereotypes I had gotten comfortable with. You made me question it. You actually made me question everything. I’m grateful for that,” Joe further retold, the shame etching itself permanently onto his face. His skin was a bit paler, like he felt nauseous. He closed his eyes and continued his story,

“I searched for a long time. For a book to read. For something to learn. Anythin’. Anything much, much more credible. I found a large leather bound book in a black market once when visiting my family in Hub. It was written by a Hellion. I hid it from my family, of course, because they’d have my hide for it.

But when I got back to the server, I read all 300 pages of pure nether history. And… uh… it changed things for me. I guess I never really asked more questions about ‘why’ and always assumed that what I was told was a simple truth. But…”

Tango stood now, feeling a sudden surge of braveness and ability to look the human in the eye. Tango felt his icy, cold eyes meet with Joe’s warm, dark ones.

“But I learned that what your entire species went through was at the fault of the over world. Brinha wood used to be prevalent, right? The trees would survive like living corpses, and you’d break their branches and carve them into ceremonial pieces for your goddess Ryea,” the man said, recounting the same stories the Hellion had heard in his childhood. The ones his mother told him.

“Brinha wood looked and acted like obsidian, in a way. The people, mainly the humans, of the overworld took all of it. There’s no more Brinha trees in the nether. The wood can only be found in markets here, in this dimension. That’s… that’s fucked. I didn’t know that. I didn’t know that we took that.

And I learned we stripped you of your communities, your tribes of Hellions. We split you up and turned you from a communal and nomadic species, to something more solitary and stationary. Some Hellions stayed nomadic, but existed in small groups to pillage, murder, and take from places. Because they needed to do that to survive.

Everythin’, every little evil thing I experienced at the hands of Hellions in that damned city around Hub’s portal, was just them making do with what they had,” Joe Hills went on, getting up from his seat against the crafting table. They stood apart like they were dueling. Tango’s stance was rigid, like his being was in danger. And Joe’s frame was relaxed, yet uncertain. ‘If he had a tail, it would be in between his legs’, Tango thought.

But the human’s own bravery came around the same time as Tango’s, “Hellions aren’t naturally evil, I learned. It’s much more complex than I could even comprehend. But…

But I know you know that, Tango. You knew that this whole time. I’ve known since season 4, but you’ve known your entire life. So I guess I’m saying I don’t understand. How could I grow empathy by learning, and you stay stagnant in your self-hatred?”

Tango didn’t have an answer. At least, not an answer Joe wanted to hear. The Hellion narrowed his eyes and said through gritted teeth, “It’s not that simple,”

“But it is, isn’t it?”

A flash of anger.

“What?” The Hellion beckoned, almost offended. Actually, no, absolutely offended.

“A year or so ago,” Joe went on, crossing his arms, “when the moon was comin’ down on season 8, I remember you goin’ off on your own. I remember you refusin’ the help we tried givin’. I remember losin’ you in more ways than one. And I was scared.”

Tango tisked, “What about it?”

He didn’t mean to be as hostile as he was right now. But something in heart made him believe he was in mortal danger. He couldn’t stop his shaking, so he clenched his fists to conceal it. His entire digestive tract felt like it was performing at an international gymnastics meet with how much it spun and churned. His hair was a single bad experience away from becoming a raging inferno.

And every time his past, his actions, his faults were brought up, it was like clockwork how his body went into fight or flight. The only way to stop the hurt, the only way to think straight, was to run. And in moments like these, it didn’t matter who he hurt. He just wanted to run. And if he could make Joe run away first, he wouldn’t have to be the one to do it. So the blame wouldn’t be on him. And it would give him a good excuse to be alone.

But, Tango didn’t want to be alone anymore.

So, he supposed that’s why he was so angry about it.

He was never a violent man.

“Do you not understand where I’m goin’? You realize that you can’t run from this stuff forever. You’re not doin’ yourself any favors. You’ll turn yourself into somethin’ you don’t wanna be if you keep on a’ runnin’,” Joe muttered, his voice almost threatening. His voice sounded like he was uttering a warning.

The Hellion held back a growl, “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“But I do, don’t I? Southern men don’t particularly have a good reputation of being tolerable. And, shoot, I was this close to bein’ exactly that. Was it my fault? Hell no. But what was my fault was choosing to stay ignorant. Is it the same thing? No,” Joe asserted, his face growing frustrated and his eyebrows knitting together, “I have the foresight to recognize I haven’t been through a fraction of what you have, and I still don’t know what it was. I’m sayin’ that I know all bout ‘reputations’ and ‘expectations’.”

“I just don’t understand how you run away from every good thing in your life. When you and Jimmy became a pair, do you know how happy I was for you? Do you know how happy everyone was for you? We thought that Jimmy could finally talk the sense you needed into that thick skull of yours,” the human continued, stepping closer to the Hellion.

Tango’s eyes darkened. His throat tightened. The wind blew around them, a gentle breeze allowing for a vague sense calm to wash over them both for a moment. Only a moment. Because an anger unlike anything he’d felt before burned deep within the Hellion for the first time in forever. Through gritted teeth, Tango hissed, “Don’t you dare bring Jim into this, Joe, or I swear-“

“Or what, Tango? Or what? Because you know what? That boy is the kindest soul I’ve ever met, which means that he’s too nice to give you the facts. And that boy has been rotting because of what you’re putting him through. Have you ever stopped to consider that?” The long haired man argued, grabbing at his own shirt like a lifeline.

No. He was not going to think about that. Because… because… there was no way Joe was right. Tango wasn’t neglecting Jim, was he? He wasn’t disregarding Jimmy’s feelings? No! He would never! Right…? Because he told Jim that they were bringing her to an orphanage, so if he got attached that was his fault, right?

…Tango did get attached, too, but-

His heart was racing. The back of his neck was hot and his head grew light. The corners of his vision were getting blurry. This was life or death. This was why he ran. This was why he hid. This was why he fell.

And suddenly, like a supernova, a realization dawned on him. Joe was just mad about Flicker leaving, right? Right? Surely.

Tango’s breath deepened, chest heaving, and his fists clenched harder. His hair ignited, and a great fire found purchase on the Hellion’s scalp.

“I know what this is all about, Joe. You’re not even hiding it,” Tango whispered, his voice sounding audibly panicked.

“Oh yea? What’s this about?” The human pressed, his eyes narrowing almost like a challenge.

Tango had never seen Joe like this before. Never in a million years would the Hellion ever expect to see the usually laid-back, calm guy in a state of anger like this. Why was he even angry? What gave him the right to be angry?

“You’re mad that I’m not keeping Flicker. It’s always about how I’m such a bad guy, right? I’m the villain. I’m the asshole. It’s always about-“ Tango was cut off.

“It was never about the fucking baby, okay?!” Joe snapped, eyes lit up like the Fourth of July. His teeth were bared and his fists now clenched. Hair bristled and riled up in reaction to the man’s sweat.

The Hellion stood in silence, his fire waning for a brief moment. If he understood what in the hell Joe meant, maybe he’d be more receptive. But it just felt like he was being gutted for the world to see. Even in this little private outcropping. Alone in the forest. All of Ryea’s angels looked down upon Tango, and they were laughing. They were laughing.

So, Tango remained silent even though he wanted to scream. He wanted to yell and rip Joe apart. He wanted Joe Hills to go away. Because after all of these years, he knew what Tango went through, because once you live in the nether long enough, you just do. Tango never had to ask a battered Hellion lying lifeless on hot netherrack about their troubles. No. Because Tango already knew. When your people suffer like that, you begin to see patterns, you know.

So if Joe knew this whole time, why bring it up now? Why bring it up when his heart and mind and soul were going through an intense reformation in ideology. Why?

Why did he have to yell?

Why did he have to be right?

“It was never about her. So stop tryin’ to avoid the fact that you haven’t been a great person lately either. So, do ya wanna know why everyone wants you to keep her? Because we have never, ever seen you this happy. It’s not because she’s ’oh so cute’. It’s not because we have some class A baby fever. It’s because you’re actually happy for once!” Joe yelled, bringing his hand up to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose as if suppressing a migraine.

“And I get it if you’re not ready for one, because I can’t be making those calls. Only you can,” The human sighed, clearly holding back so much, despite already saying enough, “But that child ain’t gonna find any happiness out in Hub cause of the very system you’re bending over backwards for.”

“No one has seen you smile like this before. No one has seen you look so alive before. Jim has been talking about how you’ve been takin’ care of yourself more. You don’t lock yourself away in your redstone anymore, either. Because now you gotta reason to care,” the southern man went on, counting each statement on his fingers. His deep brown eyes, so similar to Jim’s, but not quite, bore into Tango’s.

Because the Hellion was losing.

“You don’t know what I’m capable of. What I’m susceptible to. You don’t know my past. My lineage. You don’t know anything,” Tango argued, more grasping at straws than anything. Because what was he to do? Deny what’s been laid out in front of him in bold font? Deny his actions? Deny that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t entirely blameless after all these years of wallowing in his special little pit of despair.

“Maybe I would if you’d tell me. But you’re so convinced that the only way out is by bolting, you’ve never even considered it. That’s another good thing about Flicker because now we’re gettin’ some damn intel about how we can be better people to you.” Joe’s arms crossed again in some form of defiance. His brown hair drooped in his face, but he didn’t care to fix it, to move it. He just kept on staring Tango dead in the eyes.

“You’re all good enough, I don’t know why-“ the Hellion tried to argue, but there wasn’t much use when Joe had already made up his mind to talk some serious sense into him.

“We could be better! You know how many times that we’ve accidentally triggered one of your panic attacks? Don’t think we don’t notice, because we do. It’s not your fault, but it’s not ours either, is it? Wanna know how to prevent that shit?”

Yea. Tango knew.

Trees blew and shifted in the breeze, their branches outstretched towards the sky and each other. Their roots probably intertwined after years of being together. Trusting their neighbors enough to take only the necessary nutrients and leaving the rest for them. Trees that spent eternity in a forest together. And if one were on its own, would it get chopped down? If one stood by its lonesome, would it die quicker?

Did it grow so far away because, like Tango, it too, ran?

“By fucking talking to us!” The human exclaimed, covering his face in an exasperated manner. “But we get nothing because you ‘aren’t ready’. Which is fine. But it’s been years and you haven’t even bothered going to a therapist!”

“I’m-… I’m healing-!”

Joe threw his hands in the air, away from his face to show a man so desperate. So in need of understanding. Comprehension. Because clearly, Tango wasn’t getting it.

“I know!” The taller man exclaimed, “And goddammit we want to help you! We want to be better for you! We want to learn, and we want to understand and create a safe environment for you, but we can’t do that if you can’t allow us to.”

“Why did you even bring me here?” Tango sneered, that familiar anger to defend him from all trouble coming back. It leaked into his body so naturally. That anger he’d seen happen a million times before in Hellions. An anger that poisoned him like rotting fruit.

“Because I wanted to talk to you, but it’s obvious you still don’t trust us. You think we’re better off not knowing. You think you’re better off not telling. I’m not asking you to explain to me every damn, slimy detail, I’m asking you to work with me!”

A small part of him howled in his chest to listen. To just let go and move on. To tell his stories. To talk about things. To hold Flicker tight as he retold his traumas. To be held by his boyfriend and friends when things got too hard for him to handle alone. A small part of him said, ‘It’s okay to not be okay,”

But a larger part of him was scared of acknowledging that. Because by doing that, he’d be opening up his heart to things he’d forgotten on purpose. Because they served him no purpose, right? So that’s why, against much better judgment, he grumbled, “You know nothing about Hellions.”

“And you do. So, I find it fucking insane that you’re so stuck in that way of thinking. Like, how on earth could you know why the nether is fucked, and do nothing about it and claim that you’re evil?

You’re not fucking evil, Tango, you’re one of the greatest people that I know. And I’m so tired of watching you hurt yourself over and over and over again because you keep on running away from every single good thing in your life! And I want it to stop.

So that’s why I’m yelling. That’s why we’re here. It’s because I love you, alright? I am the person that I am today because of you, and I’m forever indebted for that. I want you to get better, but nothing will change if you don’t change. Nothing will get better if you don’t try. And you’ve given up on yourself well before you’ve even had the chance to grow. I can’t let you do that when we all still need you,” Joe Hills cried, obvious crystal tears peaking in the corners of his eyes.

Tango remembered the first time he heard a lion’s roar. Or a wolf’s howl. Or a Tiger’s growl. Or an eagle’s screech. All so fierce, like they were ready to attack. When he first heard it, he was scared. Because those sounds were angry. But after a while, he’d begun to love their music. He appreciated their vibrato, their tone, and their brilliance.

The way Joe Hills carried himself reminded the Hellion of his first time hearing a lion’s roar. Because right now, it was terrifying in that way that made your stomach churn. The way that made you nauseous. So Tango, in a complete string of thoughts and actions, slipped on his elytra and summoned rockets from his inventory.

The furnaces were long cold by now, with Tango not tending to the flames. He let each spark go out. Each. And every. One.

The grass brushed against his ankle as if asking him not to go. The trees leaned in closer, whispering affirmations no one could hear. Birds swooped around them, singing beautiful songs. Flowers danced colorful movements and gyrations with the beckoning wind.

Joe’s eyes widened. He extended a hand.

Tango stared at it. He could take it. He could take the hand that had been offered to him a million times before by a thousand people. The hand that promised help, even if the road was a little bumpy. The hand that would support him when he cried. When he hurt.

The hand that said, ‘You’ve been ready to face this for years. It’s time now’.

“Goodbye, Joe,” the Hellion mumbled, turning around and lighting his rocket.

“Tango- wait-“

“Goodbye.”

And so Tango flew up into the air with a fiery explosion and found himself gliding. Hair like a hellish inferno so bad even his tail was acting up. His chest was burning with the need to fight. Internal fire be damned, the Hellion needed to cool down. The sharp, cold wind from high in the sky provided a necessary solace.

The light emerald ground rushed past in a blur of greens and grays and brown. And those turned into shades of white and a deep, pine green once into familiar territory. Tango craned his neck to be face to face with his citadel. He found himself praying to whatever god there was that Jimmy or Flicker weren’t home. Because he knew once he was in the confines of home.

It would all come crumbling down.

Because what else did he do besides let everything kill him so easily?

The breeze keeping him up hit the right wing of his elytra weird, and the contraption snapped shut. The good thing about elytra’s was that it was easy to save yourself in a situation like this. Elytra’s were sturdy. They could handle the wind pressure. All you’d need to do was open them back up and brace for the shock.

But Tango just fell, as his body went limp. He didn’t want to save himself. He didn’t want to face the shock. He didn’t want to brace it, because what if he couldn’t? So he fell. The snow glistened in the shining sun, welcoming him back after the little time they spend apart. The trees no longer reached out towards the sun, but to him, as if to catch him from his own despair.

But the trees, the sweet conifers, they couldn’t catch him. They wouldn’t. Because Tango was choosing to fall. Even though he knew he’d die once hitting the ground. He’d respawn, he’d keep going, and then he’d fall again. The cycle repeating itself; in its way of existing. His form felt so hollow. Like someone had ripped the years of layered protection from around his heart out of his chest to reveal the speck of his soul. The Hellion was nothing that deep down, only existing as a void of love.

Because that deep into his chest, there was a young boy who wanted to love something, and he wanted that something to love him back. He supposed that after all that time he was just scared. Because losing that love…

He didn’t know what he’d do.

The ground grew closer, and the Hellion had no intention on changing that. He twisted his body and faced the forever up sky. It’s brilliant yellow, red, and orange hues and misty clouds that circled over him like a vortex. Tango’s arm reached up to nothing, as if begging for nothing to save him. Begging and hoping someone else would hear.

…he remembered reaching up once. Reaching out for someone he knew wouldn’t come to his side. Falling for the first time. Feeling the hot nether wind blowing past his face. Reaching for someone.

Someone…

Reaching out, so desperately for his mother. But he knew she wouldn’t come. She couldn’t. And that was the first time he fell.

Sharp, exploding pain. Colliding with the ground made time slow down. Starting throughout his back and electrifying itself through every nerve, every sinew in his body. Tango wanted to scream, but everything was forced out of his chest. He heard his bones crack and spine shatter. His body burst into flames as his heart, his inner inferno, was exposed to the oxygen. His blood and viscera melted the snow around him in a ring of fire. A vile hiss ripped its way out of his throat.

This was exactly what he wanted, no?

…

So why did it hurt so bad?

—

Tango gasped, shooting up from his bed. His inventory was wiped, but he couldn’t care. He wasn’t going to get anything he dropped. His hand grasped at his robes as his lungs heaved for air. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to find some sort of solace in his mind. But everything he loved felt like it was slipping from his fingertips and it was all his fault. He couldn’t think of the tender and calm times with Jimmy, because his boyfriend had been suffering for Stars know how long at his hand. And he couldn’t think about Flick because she was leaving on his decision. He couldn’t think of any of his friends without feeling a resounding guilt.

Joe… he was right.

The Hellion scrambled from his bed, feeling the nausea well up in his stomach. He ripped off his robes, feeling his entire form slowly begin to boil in his distress. He couldn’t handle the pure heat emanating from him. His hair steadily grew into a bigger flame. Panting. Gasping. The corners of his vision going black. Bounding into the bathroom, Tango slammed the door behind him.

He didn’t even eat this morning, and he found himself unloading whatever half-digested food and bile left into his toilet. That, surprisingly, offered some relief, even though the vomit caused him to shake violently. Tango clasped his hands together and exhaled a deep breath.

Fuck.

All he could think about was Joe’s words. His reaction. Tango’s horrible rebuttal. All of this had been chasing him for a very long time. It was fitting it’d all catch up now.

Tango just felt so sick. He had pushed everything good so far away from him, but for why? Why did he ever do that? He had never realized it, but thinking back, he couldn’t remember a time where he’d kept something good.

Jimmy was the only good thing in his life that he clung to like a lifetime, and even now he found himself pushing the avian as far away as he could. And it just pissed him off that doing that was such a reflex.

His heart was hammering still, and tears were poking through the corners of his eyes. Letting out a shaky breath, he tried to get a hold of himself. But he just couldn’t. His hands kept shaking. His lungs still heaving. His stomach still churning. His back and muscles still aching from his death. He had no idea why it hurt so damn bad.

Maybe, Tango thought in a fit of sarcasm, splatting on the ground like a rotten apple wasn’t exactly a good idea.

His mouth began to salivate like he was going to vomit again. He closed his eyes and began to breathe deeply.

There were things he needed to face, but did he have the strength to face it?

Something clicked in the other room; probably the clock. The tiles were cracked. The air was all too sterile. Flicker’s changing table looked down at him, sneering. ‘You’re seriously going to leave her? Are you serious? What kind of father are you?’.

“I…I’m not her father,” Tango rasped out, leaning up against the cabinets like a rag-doll. He stared at the intricately craved wood. The flowers. Were those… more lilies? He wondered if they were Fire Lilies. Or Frost Lilies. But it kinda annoyed him how much he’d been seeing them recently. Almost like they were following him.

Tango closed his eyes again. He took in a deep breath. He slid down the side of the cabinets, expecting his head to hit the hard tiles.

But…

It felt like he landed in someone’s lap. It didn’t feel like a man’s lap, so it probably wasn’t Jim’s. But at the same time, the body didn’t feel familiar in the sense of one of the few women on the server. It felt familiar in the sense that it was a childhood comfort. Almost like the lap of his… no. The Hellion couldn’t open his eyes, but he didn’t need to see to recognize the hands.

It was a cold presence physically, but strangely enough, it vaguely felt warm. Hands, ones that left him, gently combed their way through his hair. His breathing slowed.

Upon a desert dune

The voice rang through his mind and sent alarm bells raging through his nervous system. But he couldn’t help how his entire being relaxed. Tears finally fell.

Lay the son of a saint

Her voice was still just as kind, just as strong since the day she left. Tango audibly cried in her arms. She never faltered.

Starved and tired of fighting

The Hellion never thought he’d ever feel like this again. He’d do anything just to feel comfortable. He’d do anything to feel truly happy once again.

An angel long forgotten

But what did he have to do to find that happiness? What did he have to face? Would it hurt? Was healing painful? How easy was it?

Kissed his head

Was it worth it?

And said

Should he even try?

Goodnight

…all of this over a baby.

His mind began to slip into a sleep. His physical body was tired. Exhausted. Utterly miserable. The hands kept caressing. The humming kept him quiet. And everything he loved was slipping away into nothing. Like it never mattered to whatever gods existed. That’s why his people didn’t believe in Ryea anymore.

Because if She cared, Hellions wouldn’t be killing each other like dogs.

“TangoTek…” the woman, his mother, whispered, “I love you.”

Tango was never a violent man.

,
-
—-
——-
———
————
—————

The Hellion’s eyes scrunched, a sudden brightness hitting him. Slowly, he opened his eyes to be met with a completely white void, devoid of anything. No up. No down. Nothing for as far as the eye can see.

Well…

Except for himself.

Staring right at him, was another version of him. But, he had yellow hair. He wasn’t the icy, soul fire version of himself, no, he was just him.

Normal him.

He was the Tango everyone knew and adored.

But this Tango, Normal Tango, looked like he hated Blue Tango with everything he had.

Blue Tango stood up, fiddling with his hands after such an intense experience. Even in his dreams, his dread still followed him.

Normal Tango sneered, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I dunno,” Blue Tango muttered, “I just want to do what’s best for everyone.”

“You know what you are doing? You’re doing whatever is easiest for you. Not what’s best. What’s easier,” Normal Tango explained, stepping closer towards Blue Tango with a fiery determination.

Blue Tango sighed, running his hands through his flames, hoping to the Stars that it might extinguish, “I can’t take this,”

“You can, Tango, you know you can,” Normal Tango shot back, “You’ve been through so much. You’re so strong. A measly conversation won’t kill you.”

For a man who looked like he wanted the soulfire Tango dead, he sounded surprisingly genuine. But, Blue Tango still looked away, his heart aching just a little more, “You don’t know that.”

“I do. I’m you,”

“Well, if you’re me, then what’s my problem? Surely, if you’re the part of me that’s more perceptive, you know,” Blue Tango grumbled, watching Normal Tango’s red, scrutinizing eyes.

“I’ll tell you your problem. You could have the answer to all of your problems right in your face, but you’d just run away. Because you’d be convinced it was something trying to kill you. But I’m sure you know how much you run by now, thanks to Joe.” Normal Tango answered, waving his arms in the air like someone who’d been waiting to say this for a very long time.

“But I think you should be asking ‘why’. ‘Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I so dependent on running away? Why?’

I’ll tell you why, Tango. It’s easier to hate yourself than to get better. That’s what your fucking issue is. It’s easier to say you’re evil than to explain the in depth history of the nether. It’s easier to pretend like our people are monsters than be honest. It’s easier to hide away than to face it. This isn’t helping you, ya know,” the yellow haired Tango argued,

The soulfire Tango kept silent, staring at the yellow haired Tango with wide eyes. And dread filled his gut. He barely stifled a sob.

Normal Tango didn’t stop, “But you understand why I’m saying this, don’t you? Because you have, in your current possession, something amazing. You have, not only a boyfriend, but the opportunity to become something you’ve always wanted to be.”

Flicker.

He had Flicker, and the opportunity to be a dad.

Blue Tango fell to the floor. His legs provided no more use when he just felt so empty. When his soul was being taken out, stretched out on the floor, and presented for everyone to gaze upon.

“I… I don’t…”

“You love her. And you want to be her father. You do. You can’t even pretend like you don’t,” the other one muttered, standing over the soulfire Hellion like a king punishing a peasant.

“You don’t know what we’ll do! How are you so confident when you don’t know?” Blue Tango yelled, quickly shutting up when the yellow haired Hellion grabbed his face with an iron grip.

His eyes were wild with years of pent up frustration as he stared into Blue Tango’s, “What do you want from me?! What can you not see?! What am I not telling you, Tango?!” He screamed, almost beckoning in his tone. Like he needed to know. “Look at me! I’m a mess because of your decisions! You can try running, but you need to understand; you’re doing yourself a disservice. You wanna know why Hellions continue to have it so fucking bad? Because of Hellions like you that are too damn scared to make a difference!

You may not be actively spreading false information and shit all the time, but doing nothing is just as bad. Doing nothing about it is probably worse! You have a chance to change things. You have a chance to be a good parent!”

The soulfire one’s tail flailed in his discomfort, hands going up to grab the yellowed hair one’s wrist. Staring at his copy, it became apparent how long he’d been denying a large part of himself. Despite the epiphanies, Tango couldn’t exactly place what was making him hesitant. Normal Tango picked up on this reluctance, and his angry, frustrated, strong look melted into something desperate. Pathetic. Normal Tango’s chest began shaking as he began to sob.

“Please,” he begged angrily through gritted teeth and tears, “let me get better. I want us to get better. I don’t care how, but find a reason. Find something or someone to fight for. For us. For you.”

The ground beneath the blue Tango, whatever it was in that white void, began to crack. And Tango looked into a version of himself that had been caged away for years. “If you don’t, you’re going to become something you don’t want to be. Your father wasn’t always a violent man, and you know what monster he became.”

Just like that, the ground beneath Tango collapsed, leaving the yellow haired one standing in the white void with eyes looking down like he was praying. Praying for the blue Tango, the current Tango, to understand. And that Tango fell into a black void, with shards of white falling around him.

Falling…

Falling…

Falling…

Until he wasn’t falling anymore. He was running. The void didn’t move. He felt like he was going absolutely nowhere. He couldn’t even remember when he started running, he just was. And the need to run was strong. He couldn’t look behind him, but he was sure there was a monster. A monster waiting to devour him whole and leaving nothing behind. Not even the bones. Or the hair. Or the nails. Nothing.

So, Tango ran. Alone.

He ran for so long, he began questioning if there was a monster. If there ever was. If he stopped running, what would happen? Would the monster get him? Or would he be standing there, in the void, and have to face whatever secrets it held in its infinite walls.

Maybe, he believed in a monster so much, he created one.

Just like when he stopped falling, he didn’t remember how long he’d been running until he wasn’t in a void anymore. No, he’d been transported somewhere else and just as suddenly.

He was in a flat field for as far as the eye could see. Gray, muddy skies with distant, angry mountains encircling him. A pathway forward with hard, dusty dirt that clouded around his feet as he bounded through the expanse. On each side of the path, was brown, mushy fruits of various sizes, shapes, and species. They reeked of fermentation and rot. Their sweetness had turned sour many, many years ago. Sprinkled throughout the field of rotten fruits, were shards of blue-ish glass. Each piece reflecting a distant, painful memory of his past through the light as Tango ran.

His chest heaved. He took in gallons of the putrid smell. His mind was clouded. His legs were tired. His lungs hurt. He wanted to hurl.

He didn’t want to run anymore.

He closed his eyes, squeezing them shut so hard that he saw colorful patterns dancing on the back of his eyelids, and he stopped.

It was easier to stop than he anticipated. Much, much easier. And when he opened his eyes, he wasn’t surrounded by a field of rot anymore.

No.

He was still on the same pathway, dull and dirty, but the sky wasn’t gray anymore. It was a brilliant blue. His forever up sky. With clouds that formed in beautiful shapes. With mountains that weren’t trapping him, but instead, protecting him. And the path was surrounded by two separate fields.

On his left was an icy, cold expanse for as far as the eye could see. Vaguely hilly in its nature, and with snow covering it like a thick blanket. It sparkled and shined like gems or glitter, and from the pillowy snow sprouted thousands, maybe tens of thousands, of Frost Lilies. The most beautiful the Hellion had ever seen. Petals so purely white, only shifting towards the center which proved to be a gentle, baby blue.

On his right was a completely flat meadow with plush green grass. It was a short variety, and rather than billow, it bristled. A sun, that wasn’t visible to Tango, casted a brilliant light of the reflective blades. And along with the grass stood the most gorgeous Fire Lilies. Their petals were a deep shade of red, only with a vibrant orange bleeding through the center. These flowers, although as different as flowers could be, were the same species of lily. Their petals simply changed with the seasons as they adapted to their environment.

A lily that didn’t match their environment was surely to die, but on rare occasions, they didn’t.

And despite the two sides of the pathway being polar opposites at its root, both sides were equally as gorgeous. If Tango were asked to spend an eternity in just one, he couldn’t choose.

But the pathway lead up to a tree. A tree dark as obsidian. It’s black branches thin and brittle. This tree, Tango recognized. It was a tree that went extinct in the nether. A tree he’d only seen in jewelry. A Brinha Tree. A plant so incredibly sacred to his people, it was a tragedy when they went extinct 200 years ago.

After the over world took them all.

This Brinha tree was bent in an odd way. Its branches were wild and general shape oblong. It was less than attractive. But right in the middle of the tree, and the pathway that lead straight to it, was a nest with two birds. The bird on the right was a canary; its extraordinary yellow shining like a star in the night sky, or the sun on a clear day. Its head was pressed against a much more dull, much more fragile looking mockingbird. It wasn’t anything special, color or pattern wise, but it sang a beautiful song more ancient than Tango. It was a melody is mother used to hum to him, different from his lullaby.

The two birds held each other close: eyes closed. And although Tango could not see it, because he was so far down on the ground, tucked inside the nest was an egg. It was small, and it wasn’t theirs. But they loved it. And even though it would be hard, they’d make it work.

”Because when you love something, you’ll make it work,” Tango whispered to himself.

The air settled. There was no breeze. It was similar to staring at a painting. So Tango breathed in. And out. And suddenly, it was all okay.

It was still okay when the field was enveloped in a blanket of instant and complete darkness. It was okay when Tango’s body felt like it was being ripped apart. It was okay when his body reacted like the world was ending. It was knowing that the birds, with their egg, were okay, that made him okay.

And besides, the only reason the void caught up was because Tango stopped running.

After all, like a very close friend, and an amazing admin, said,

”Can’t run with babies,”

And for the first time, Tango was okay with not running anymore, even if it was in a dream. So he shut his eyes, and faced the monster he was afraid of.

Chapter Text

The monster, whatever it was, enveloped him. Its appearance was no different from the void; just as black; just as desolate. Like an old hug from an old friend; it was uncomfortable, but not in an immediate bad way. Similar to a scratchy sweater or a humid room. There, in the belly of whatever amorphous monster he’d ran from, the ground ceased to be, and the Hellion found himself floating amidst the presence of nothing.

The void, like before, had no definition, no shape, and no form. Unchanging in its uniformity. Tango had never felt so claustrophobic and so small at the same time. There were no shadows for his eyes to leverage, as everything was a shadow. It didn’t matter if Tango blinked or fell asleep within his dream. Everything was dark.

And from that dark fog emerged a familiar figure. It was the woman who eased him into his sleep on the tiles of his bathroom. Her dull, red hair pencil straight, and her tail snuffed out. The marking on her forehead, the one that was supposed to glow like magma, remained as lifeless as rock. From around her neck hung a large pendant made from a glassy, obsidian looking substance. A necklace made from incredibly rare Brinha Wood from the extinct Brinha tree.

His mother.

Her hands were clasped together and she walked forward with an uneven step. But even in her ghastly, deathly appearance, she looked more alive than when she actually was. And upon her face was the ghost of a smile, but her eyes, deep and red, were filled with a fondness that was familiar to Tango. She’d look at him like that every single day, even when her body had no energy to do so.

Sometimes, Tango wondered how long she was sick. He wondered what she was sick with. But that didn’t matter anymore, did it?

The Hellion wanted to run to his mother, but his feet were still, because there was no ground to run on. Thankfully, she came to him, somehow walking on nothing.

Tango’s head was gratefully accepted onto her shoulder, and his mother, whatever she was, ghost or figment, held him like he was still her baby. He was larger than her now, much stronger, but her hands still ran up and down his back like they would when he was a child. So, the Hellion cried.

And he cried.

And cried.

Because even with her gone, he still felt like her baby.

Usually in his dreams, if he ever got lucky enough to see her, he’d still be a child. Just as small. Just as weak. And she’d shield him from all of the bad memories. Her body around his. Holding him tight. She took every single pain herself to save Tango. Even in his subconscious.

But now, Tango was much too big to be held like that. He was much too large to be shielded from the world. His mama couldn’t save him anymore. And that hurt worse than facing his monster.

“You’ve been ready to face this for a long time now, TangoTek,” she whispered, gently petting his head as his chest contracted once again to let out a sob. His cries didn’t produce any noise, no, but they still wracked his entire being with the sorrow and loss he’d forced himself to bury for all these years.

She softly sighed, rocking them back and forth with her heels, “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe then.”

The Hellion couldn’t do much to reply.

“But you’re strong, TangoTek.”

The void pulled his mother away. She did not reach out for him. She couldn’t. But he did. He reached out for her even though he knew she couldn’t reach back. And his mama just smiled at him with one of those pained ones that tore you apart. One of those smiles that apologized for something that wasn’t her fault.

“You know what you have to do, now,” his mother spoke, her voice echoing into nothingness as her visage faded into the dark beyond.

Tango closed his eyes.

He knew what to do.

He let a memory float to the surface that hadn’t seen the light of day for a long time. It bubbled and burst like a blister on burnt skin.

Yes…

It began right after his father left the cabin. Right after his father held him close for the first and last time.

When Tango began walking to his now awake mother….

…

…

They shared no words with each other. They had no need. Only the sound was the seasonal ash winds howling outside of their cabin, and the sweltering, boiling sound of the lava a couple hundred feet away from the bottom of the cliff face. Today was one of their holidays; Tango was certain.

His mother held him close, not having enough energy to properly cuddle him like she used to. She was weak. A little… too weak. Mama’s breathing was shallow. It was soft. Like the ghost of a life on the little Hellion’s scalp.

“Your father,” she rasped, “is a very bad man. I’m sure you know that already, though.”

“I know,” the little Hellion mumbled, curling up into a tighter ball. His hair was a yellowish-orange then, and his tail a dim candle wick. Life was getting harder the longer they stayed here, sedentary in their cabin.

His mother let out a shaky sigh. Her throat seemed tight, almost like she wanted to cry. “I always wanted to protect you from that, but I think I made a mistake. I… I would tell you that your father still cared. He didn’t.”

Tango didn’t falter, “I know.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s okay.”

There was no more need for words in Tango’s mind. It felt good knowing his mother knew how much his father hated him. For a while, he was worried she really did think that papa loved him. It was hard hearing that from her. It didn’t take much for Tango to forgive her, though. Because he just loved her. Her mistakes didn’t matter when she loved him just as much.

“TangoTek?”

He just hummed to tell her he was listening. Tango was already fighting sleep. In her arms, everything was okay. He was calm. He was happy. Happy.

“I love you,”

“I love you, too, mama.”

There, in their silent cabin, it almost felt like they weren’t in the nether. With father gone, right as they were about to fall asleep, this night was very peaceful. Mama’s hair was a very sweet burgundy color. Like the color of muted netherrack. She held the ghost of a smile on her face. Her eyes were much too dull.

The winds rattled the house and the vague smell of ash permeated through the space. The smell reminded Tango of being clean. Today was a holiday. Tango was certain. And the softer bedsheets and the slightly more plush bedding compared to his own allowed for the Little Hellion to close his eyes comfortably.

Yes. This was the most peaceful night. There was no one to disturb that. What a lovely night to spend with his mother.

“TangoTek?”

Again, he just hummed to respond.

“When the day comes that,” she paused to swallow back some tears, “that I’m not with you anymore.”

The little Hellion’s stomach dropped. He held onto her shirt just a little tighter. Another shaky breath. Another second of excruciating silence. He kept his eyes sealed shut, because he was terrified of opening them. What sight would he see?

“Know that I’ll always be with you. Even if you can’t see me. Because I love you,” she whispered, her voice growing perilously weak.

Tango shook his head, lids still shut, “Please don’t go,”

Mama let out a very soft, but just loud enough, sob. She used all of her strength, maybe she used whatever strength she had left, to hug Tango just that little bit tighter. “Your name is older than our ancestors.”

Tango felt like he wanted to vomit.

“Please, please, TangoTek, tell me that you know why I chose it to be yours.”

“I do, mama. I promise,”

The little Hellion opened his eyes slightly to look at his mother one last time before he slept. She was looking down at him. She wasn’t able to smile. The strength she used to hold Tango tighter had fizzled into nothing. But her eyes said enough.

She couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move. Couldn’t do anything. Because even though she didn’t say it, Tango had a threatening feeling that this was the end for her. And her eyes told Tango ‘Thank you. I love you.’

And she allowed them to slowly close. So Tango let his close, too, making it the last time he ever saw her eyes open again. There was only the sound of wind. The sound of her all-too-soft heartbeat. The sound of her slowing breath. The smell of ash. The smell of her. The feeling of her hands, unable to pet his back like she used to. The feeling of her love.

Yes.

That night, out of all nights, was the most peaceful night. In his mother’s arms. Feeling her heartbeat, her breath, and her warm touch for the very, very last time.

Because by the time he woke up next, his mother was still sleeping. But she wasn’t breathing. She was cold, something a Hellion should never be, and her hair was brown. A deep, soul sand brown.

Tango’s mother was dead.

But she didn’t look dead at all, no. She looked at peace. She looked… vaguely happy. And Tango just stared up at her with wild, unblinking eyes. Mama was dead, but he couldn’t find it in him to cry. That, in and of itself, made him feel like a monster. How could a son not cry for his own mother?

What was he?

Who cared if he was shocked? Surprised? Still reeling from the discovery that he’d slept with a corpse all night? Who cared? Certainly not him, because Tango needed to cry, but he couldn’t. He simply couldn’t.

A creak. A knock. An open door. His father, finally back, after a whole night of absence, was back. And far too late. It occurred to the little Hellion that he knew something his father didn’t for a moment. Equally, it occurred to the boy that his father’s last moment with his mother wasn’t at all like his.

Closing the door, his eyes fell on his wife and his son in the bed. At first his face didn’t change, as he almost looked rather bored. But, just as he was going to walk into the shack and make himself comfortable, he narrowed his eyes. Almost incredulously, staring at his wife’s still form.

Tango thinks he saw her hair first. That’s what got him curious. Then, he saw her still body, not moving to breathe.

His eyes widened. His face scrunched itself into something malicious. Something angry. A very soft hiss made itself known. Tango’s father looked like he wanted to end his son’s life. The tears on the older Hellion’s face followed soon after the man began trudging toward the two bodies.

”You… you fucking monster,” his father muttered, his eyes watering, “what did you fucking do?!”

“I didn’t-“ Tango pleaded, but it was already being cut off by father’s furious eyes.

“This is what I get, huh?” He muttered. A low, threatening growl slipped from his throat.

“But at least I get to do what I’ve been waiting to do for these last few weeks. What I’ve been itching to do,” He snarled, grabbing Tango’s collar and ripping him from the big bed.

“Momma can’t save you now, huh?” He asked, tears flowing down his face.

For the first time, Tango found it in himself to fight. Maybe it was the last time ever he truly, honestly, wanted to live. His own face twisted into something new. Something older.

“She hated you, and you know it,” Tango whispered, an angry scowl etching its way onto his face, “and now I hate you as much as you hate me.”

His small body hung so limply from father’s grasp. A look of shock, and then impressed. Father laughed, this evil, sickening laugh, “You think you’re so grown. So righteous. You’ll know my pain. Temper runs in our blood. I can’t wait for the day that you hurt something you love. Like I hurt your mother.”

His father brought Tango closer, putting his mouth right against the boy’s ear, “I can’t fucking wait.”

Tango had no words, feeling any bravery that he once possessed slip out of his grasp like soul sand. His father effortlessly dragged him outside of the cabin. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been outside. The crimson trees were barren of any fruits. Each tree looked so sad, so pathetically bent over like a wilting mushroom. The warped forest nearby was equally as desolate. The winds had stopped, leaving everything with a thin coating of ash. It was all so hot outside. Sweat immediately beaded on the little Hellion’s upper brow.

His father grumbled, “I knew we should’ve gotten rid of you the day your claws grew in.”

Tango looked down at his hands, the shape of his sharp claws. They were a bit bloody from the times he’d clench his fist. Little pinpricks of red followed the base of his hand from the puncture wounds left by them.

“But at least I get to make this decision. For once, I don’t have to consider your damn mother,” he growled, but immediately began crying once remembering his late wife. Tango’s father never stopped walking. Instead wailing into the open air as he walked, staring up at the nether roof.

The hot netherrack burned Tango’s skin, as it didn’t have the necessary callouses or scarring to protect itself.

“I hate you, TangoTek. I hate you. I hate you. And I hate that you look just like me. If you were a girl, or if you looked more like your mother, maybe I’d love you. But no. No, I hate you, because looking at you is like looking at myself. And I hate you,” father mumbled, finally standing still.

Tango’s was able to wiggle around in his father’s hold to see exactly where he’d stopped. Right on the edge of the cliff. It wasn’t too far down, not at all, just ten, maybe twenty feet down. But it was enough to give Tango vertigo. The land below the cliff where their house lie had plenty of waste. Any food that was unable to be eaten rotted, and any feces they produced got thrown down there.

Their life was the way it was, as safe as it was, because of their cliff. Their protection. And only their waste fell. Only…

Only the waste.

“Papa- no-“ Tango quietly begged, but it was pointless. He’d already made up his mind.

“No,” he snapped, “don’t you dare grovel. Groveling kills you. Weakness kills you. If by some miracle you survive, TangoTek, then you deserve to live. But if you don’t, I won’t regret a thing.”

His father switched his grip, clutching the back of the little Hellion’s garment and holding him up. Extending his arm, Tango hung over life… and death.

Looking into his father’s eyes, at the same level, with the same pain, for the first time, he felt a sentence claw in the back of his brain. Being held in this man’s arms last night, so tenderly loved in a way his father hadn’t loved him before, Tango almost felt guilty. This man loved her. He loved her, and now she was gone.

His father was still crying. And Tango had never seen him this broken. At his level, the world looked just a little crueler, and his options just that much slimmer.

He wondered if his dad wanted to be a good person. He wondered why he wasn’t. Tango wondered if his mom loved his father once. Maybe she did. Maybe she didn’t.

Maybe she tried, for Tango’s sake.

He felt that sentence, that thought, gnaw at the back of his teeth. He needed to say it. Even though it made him sick at the thought of uttering it. Because maybe, just maybe, his father needed to hear it.

Maybe he could be saved.

…maybe that was selfish.

Tango took in a breath, and his father’s hands tightened, “I love you,”

That was a lie.

But maybe one day it wouldn’t be.

The way father’s face twisted into some emotion unknown to Tango made his skin crawl. Like, he too, wanted to vomit at those words. For some reason or another. “Get out of here,”

There was no love in his tone, so Tango supposed it would always be a lie. He would never love his father. And his father would never love him. He would never have someone love him again, surely, after the death of his mother.

And the little Hellion was dropped, but his father didn’t stay around to see him hit the floor. Either he didn’t care, or, he was scared. His father’s head turned, and all time slowed. Falling was like flying. Expect he wasn’t like a ghast at all, and he wouldn’t stay in the air. He would hit the ground eventually.

Tango felt his hand reach up, towards the top of the precipice. There was no one to return that gesture for him. Because the person he was reaching out for was gone. Maybe, if he closed his eyes, he could believe that she was there. Somewhere. Maybe she was falling with him.

Because as he fell, he felt free. His body warred with the feeling of imminent death. And that calmed him. He was old enough by then to die, right? He’d lived and loved and hated. And the only person he’d ever loved was gone. What was the point?

So he fell.

And he didn’t cry.

He closed his eyes.

He didn’t scream.

Maybe his father was waiting for him to.

Maybe.

But he probably was walking back to the ghost of their once home.

Whatever was left there, which wasn’t much, was even more empty without her smile.

So Tango was okay with falling.

And he fell.

And fell.

Until…

He hit the ground. Even with closed lids, everything went white. He prayed to Ryea that he wished to see his mommy, and that he didn’t want to live anymore.

…for some ungodly reason, he survived.

And that’s where his story started. At the bottom of a cliff, surrounded by putrid, rotting waste.

—-//—-///—-//—-

Hellion Biology Lesson 16: Parenting and Child Development

Hellions are not known to be good parents. This is not their fault, as it’s simply a mix of genetics and culture. So, one cannot judge their practices, since it’s been seen that many Hellions thrive in this type of upbringing. That’s why it’s common that they stay in the nether.

Firstly, male and female Hellions usually mate for reproduction rather than love like most species. Often times, the father will initiate this exchange. Since any weakness usually means death, the mothers will be obligated to stay with the father for increased safety. While the father might not be what we call caring, it’s better than dying. Because of this dynamic, this means that a pair of Hellions with a child will split apart once the child reaches of age.

Once the baby Hellion is born, the mother will provide the child with milk similar to over world mammals. This milk mimics that of cows milk, with the probiotics and protein from warped mushrooms. These mushrooms are vital to the young child’s upbringing and small ‘families’ of Hellions will never be without them. Not only for their ability to store water in their gills, but also to give the right nutrients to all types of Hellions.

From the ages of 0-1, the mother is solely responsible for the baby, and the father will not help. His job is to protect the two. She will often carry the baby and soothe it by rubbing its nape as they travel. Mothers are designed to be nimble and agile even when their arms are occupied. Around this age range, babies will gain the ability to ignite their scalps, as their skin will have developed resistance to fire.

From ages 1-2 the little Hellion will experience major growth and change, now being able to begin walking. This is around the time that they start recognizing words, like their names. Sentences will be overly simplified. Children will be less dependent on mother, but will be just as helpless.

By 2-4, the Hellion child will fully be able to walk on its own and display minimal elemental manipulation. These children are very curious and will explore their surroundings. By this age, they can convey more complex speech and dialogue. This will be the most crucial period of development in a Hellion.

The ages of 4-5 are incredibly important in Hellion culture. It is very common for Hellion pairs to leave the child fully independent once their claws have fully grown in and matured. This age range is often when it happens. Some Hellion pairs, like those who do mate for the sake of love, may keep their children and raise them until they are 18. Once a child is fully independent, it is very common for Hellion pairs to split and never interact again.

As much as it is frowned upon in the over world to leave a child at such a young age, this is simply how it’s always been. While other historians may argue that this practice only became prevalent after the over world arrived, its origins don’t really matter.

—-//—-///—-//—-

Tango was awoken by a gentle nudge to his shoulder. His eyes cracked open; his heart was racing. Jim’s golden wings had accidentally bumped into him. The avian didn’t seem to notice how the Hellion came to. Instead, he just sat on the opposite side of the bed, burying his head in his hands and softly sniffling. The Hellion’s heart ached at the sight.

…Jimmy was hurting really bad wasn’t he? He had been for how long? How could Tango not notice? That’s probably what hurt most. He wasn’t able to see it. He was so consumed in himself, in his traumas, that he didn’t see Jimmy’s. Stars, he had a lot of apologizing to do.

But the other thought that still permeated through the Hellion’s mind was the thought of not having Flicker. The idea seemed so wrong on so many levels, but he couldn’t just decide to adopt a baby on a whim, could he? Could he?

“Tango?” A sudden voice chimed, earning the swift and immediate attention of the aforementioned person. Turning his head, the Hellion was face to face with Jimmy. Eyes red and puffy, and yet still so dull, with dark circles under them. His deep brown colored irises looked more like old fruit than coffee. Even in this pitiful state, Tango couldn’t help but find him so beautiful. The Hellion, honestly, just wanted to crawl over and hug the avian tightly.

“Jim, are you okay, love?” Tango asked, watching the canary’s eyes go wide. He cleared his throat and got up, leaning over into Flicker’s crib and doting on the baby inside. Seemingly trying to find an answer to the Hellion’s question. “I’m alright,”

Flicker slowly woke up, and by the sound of it, she was really happy to see Jim. He smiled one of those lovesick smiles and picked her up, placing a kiss on her cheek. But Tango could see the exact moment Jimmy remembered she’d be gone soon. That sparkle, the zeal for life, fizzled into nothing just like that. The canary sighed, walking over to Tango’s side of the bed, “Just a little tired, is all. Did you sleep well last night?”

The way Jimmy asked that made the Hellion’s stomach churn. Like the avian was testing waters, or testing Tango. The Hellion had yet to figure out why Jim was acting so strange, but that was fine. He’d figure it out. Of course, Tango didn’t really feel like talking about his nightmares and revelations. Especially right when he was still reeling from them.

He was still so sweaty and the shimmer of agitation was a little too obvious on his scalp. Heart racing; hands shaking. He was still… scared. After all of that, he was still scared? God, he was so pathetic.

No, he shouldn’t think that. Tango had to remember that he wanted to get better, and putting yourself down wasn’t better. He supposed he could tell the love of his life about his measly dream. Even about that memory he had near the end of it! He could tell Jimmy everything!

Actually, no, that was too much.

He wished not running was as easy in real life than in his dreams, but it just wasn’t the same. Real life had this crazy concept called ‘consequences’ that Tango wasn’t too keen on. And the consequences that could arise from a bad interaction with someone were severe.

The Hellion took in a small breath, watching Jimmy sit down on the edge of his side of the bed, “I slept pretty well. What uhm… what do you have planned for today?”

Tango really tried making everything seem so casual. Like everything was back to normal. Like Flicker wasn’t going to leave. Jim tore his eyes away from the baby to meet Tango’s.

“Well, I was planning on packing up all of Flick’s stuff. Yesterday, X came and told me the rift would be opened tomorrow. I think he texted you but…” Jim trailed off, shying his gaze back to the small body in his arms.

The Hellion offered the canary a confused eyebrow, urging him to continue, and trying to ignore the spreading dread in his entire body at the notion that she’d be leaving tomorrow. Jim just shrugged and placed Flicker on Tango’s chest. She lit up, shuffling further up his body to tuck her head right up under his chin. Her little body began to rumble with contentedness as she curled up like a cat on his body.

God fucking dammit, he did not want to give her away. Not at all. Not in the slightest. It was killing him inside at the thought, and it was his fucking idea! Dammit!

But all the Hellion could do in the face of that cold realization was bring his hands up to softly hold her body as he sat up in bed. Only to be met with immediate resistance on his lower chest. Jim’s hand. The avian pushed him back down onto his pillows with urgency.’

Looking up, the avian’s eyes were wild with worry as he pushed the Hellion back down on the mattress, “Please don’t get up,”

“What-?”

“Just rest. I’ll pack for her, just,” the canary paused, still looking rather flustered, “Just cuddle with her and rest.”

The Hellion narrowed his eyes in confusion. The avian looked like he had something he wanted to say, but was having trouble saying it. The way his eyes darted to the side, tears obviously wanting to make themselves known.

What was he missing? It wasn’t like he was sick or anything. Sure, he had a panic attack last night and fell asleep in the bathroom-

Oh Stars…

Jim must have found him unconscious in the bathroom last night. There was vomit in the toilet, and… fuck. Of course that would look bad. Of course that worried the poor man. And then Jimmy brought him to bed? Carried him from the bathroom?

Tango sucked in a breath, “I’m… okay. I just…”

Jimmy looked away, getting up from the bed, “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me. I know it bothers you.”

The Hellion wanted to cry at how easily the avian gave up on him. What kind of a boyfriend was he if his own partner couldn’t expect the bare minimum from him?

“I had a panic attack,” he continued, before really thinking about it, “I had a conversation with Joe and I thought about some things, and it bothered me, I guess. But I’m okay now.”

Jimmy’s eyes were a little surprised, but he softly smiled, “I’m glad you’re okay. But my statement still stands. You’re resting.”

“Aw, c’mon,” Tango huffed, offering a bit of playful teasing, “I feel fine. Let me help you out, love.”

“I would feel better if you rested, Tango,” Jim asserted, keeping on the slight smile and vaguely upbeat demeanor, but having a dead serious undertone. The Hellion felt pretty damn bad for worrying Jim a ton. So, he just nodded, resigning himself to baby duty.

Though, Tango could hardly complain.

Because as Jim’s weight was alleviated off of the bed, Flick’s head popped up from under his chin and she looked straight at Tango. The Hellion smiled, twisting his tail to brush up under her nose. The flames tickled against her face and she reeled back to sneeze. Tango watched as her body shimmered with the kindling flame in her heart.

The Hellion smiled; she was growing stronger. And her clothes were beginning to grow a bit small. Tango smiled and laughed softly, feeling his heart swell with pride at the sight of her being so happy. And Flicker just kept on giggling.

Jimmy began to neatly fold all of her clothes and place them in shulker boxes. Her little plushies that she didn’t sleep with, because she only ever slept with Jellie, were placed in bags that went into other shulker boxes. They’d have to disassemble her crib and changing table and high chair and… Everything, Tango supposed. They’d have to disassemble everything. Everything she’s known for the last month of her life, which was probably around one third to a quarter of her existence in this world.

Her clothes and diapers and little socks. Her plushes and toys and teething stuff. Everything she had, everything she owned. She’d have to learn how to eat solid foods without them. She’d learn to walk without them. Say her first words without them. Live a life far away from them.

Tango stared down at her happy face, and he knew that she was oblivious to that. What would she do the day after they dropped her off in the orphanage? Would she cry? Would she wonder where her…

Where her dads went?

Tango had been neglecting on finding a proper place for her. Maybe because he didn’t want this month to end. Maybe, he supposed, he wanted to care for her for forever.

He wondered how he could do that to himself. He wondered why he was even doing this. Because in all of this beautiful world, why did he assume there wasn’t enough beauty for him?

Did he deserve his happy ending? His dreams? His hopes? His desires? Did he deserve a family?

Tango took in a breath, turning to face Flicker. She laughed, placing her hands on his cheeks. Tango adored her laugh. It was so full of life and happiness.

But equally, he wanted to share that happiness, that laugh, with everyone he cared about. He wanted Jimmy to be right by his side cuddling her, not packing away her life. He wanted his friends to be able to babysit her and play with her all they wanted and not be scared to get too close.

He wanted to keep her. He knew he did, but at the same time, he was hesitant. Because, and he repeated this to himself like a mantra this past month, babies were big decisions. It takes a lot to parent, not to mention the mental strain kids could have. Cost was never an issue, given that they don’t live in Hub, but it’s principle.

Like- Hermitcraft isn’t exactly the most kid friendly place, safety wise, and they’d have to give up a lot of work time. To be fair, most people on the server had a pretty unhealthy working schedule, Tango absolutely included, so their idea of a ‘productive work day’ was a bit skewed. Even then, what if Tango messed up? He has not a clue on how to even begin parenting. And what if his mental health gets in the way? Flicker doesn’t deserve that.

But at the very same time, it’s not like they couldn’t learn. It’s not like they couldn’t change. It’s not like they were alone in this. They had… an entire village.

Then again, Tango could go on and on about how he wasn’t good enough to have her. He’d been doing it for a straight month, so he’d gotten good at making excuses. Even then, there was something that even Tango couldn’t deny. Every second of pain or hardship he faced no longer felt like it was too much. Even after last night, Tango couldn’t deny that seeing her smile, seeing her so happy, made it all worth it. Knowing that they, as a unit, were happy, Tango could face any monster or memory or panic attack in the world. It was knowing his little girl still needed him that made him feel at ease.

That, that minuscule feeling, it was something he’d never felt before. And he wanted to feel it forever. Was he selfish for wanting that? Even when his logic told him it’d be too hard for him to handle? Was he selfish?

Flick pouted, grabbing at his ears and nose. Tango laughed, slowly sitting up and feeling the blood rush throughout his body. Jimmy gave him a quick, but still concerned, glance in his direction as the Hellion shuffled over to Jim’s side to quickly grab her Jellie. While Flick took it gratefully, it clearly wasn’t what she wanted. Tango sighed, chuckling softly. He knew what was up.

“Hey, love,” Tango began, moving his legs to hand over the edge of the bed, “I’m gonna go feed Flick, okay?”

The avian almost looked like he didn’t want Tango to go at all, really. His hand involuntarily came up as if to stop the Hellion from leaving, but it hesitated. Jimmy gave a wary smile and nodded, “Alright, just be careful, okay?”

“I will, Jim. I’ll just be gone for a bit,” the Hellion promised offering a quick smile and a wave, walking over to the large dark oak doors. Pushing them open with his hip, he was now out in the cold, desolate hallways. Flicker, fingers tracing Tango’s chest scars with curiosity, didn’t seem to mind the cool chill.

She was probably more focused on her hunger.

The same hallways, doors, and stairwells. All the same to get to the kitchen. Their routine, about to be broken, came back in that empty, sad way. Like a friend that was moving away. A routine Tango would never have gotten tired of even if given the chance.

The Hellion slipped Flick into her high chair, just another thing to pack away, and got out a preprepared bottle for her. He channeled some heat into his palms, watching the cool milk turn warm. Flicker was already whining and grabbing in his direction. As much Tango wanted to be flattered, she was probably interested in the bottle or his tail. Because as of late, she did have a morbid curiosity with the thing and often chomped on it when Tango wasn’t looking.

When it was warm, after the Hellion checked on his wrist, he picked her back up and cradled her. Her eyes lit up with wild excitement at the sight of a bottle and it made Tango laugh. She gracefully (not really), accepted the bottle and seemingly calmed in the Hellion’s arms. He looked down at her little face with such an intense fondness.

He wanted to cry.

“Y’know, Flicker, I never anticipated enjoying living with you. I don’t think Jim did either, but I suppose you’re just that much more lovable,” He whispered, seeing her dark red eyes meet his with gentle admiration. Maybe curiosity. “I know whatever family you have will love you.”

“Or, at least, I hope they’ll love you. I don’t know why they wouldn’t.”

She smiled, and clicked at him. He easily clicked back. Those sounds didn’t bother him as much anymore.

“You should be old enough to eat more solid foods. Definitely around that age, surely. I’ll see what the orphanage says. Whichever one I’ll choose, because I’ve yet to find one. That’ll probably mean we’ll stay extra time in Hub, which isn’t always fun,” Tango further explained.

She made this high pitched sound, choked out by the sound of her eating. Tango laughed, “I know, I’ll miss you, too. I… I wish I didn’t have to give you away.”

The Hellion sighed, “Well, I suppose I don’t have to. I just don’t know what I would do, you know? It’s a big deal to have a baby. Though, it’s not like you’re super hard to deal with.”

She was almost done with her bottle by now.

“I do love you. I hope you know that. I… I don’t know if I’ve said that out loud before. It feels nice to say that. ‘I love you‘. Makes ya feel happy, you know?” He mumbled, cerefully caressing her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

His eyes drifted to her little ears. The nick in them. He brushed a knuckle against the skin, “I wonder how you got this. So young and already has a scar. It’s good you’re not in the nether anymore. I suppose I just wished it didn’t suck to live there.”

She spat out the tip of the bottle and looked up at him like she wanted more. Tango cackled, and shook his head, “No, no! Nuh uh, Lil’ Miss, you’ve had plenty.”

Walking over to the sink, he propped the baby up onto his hip, or lack thereof, and unscrewed the cap with just one hand. Turning on the faucet, he rinsed out the plastic thing and left it in the mostly empty sink to dry.

And thus he began his trek back upstairs and into his room, where he’d be corralled into the bed to rest. He was grateful for such a caring boyfriend, but he felt it was a tad much? Though, and this was the empathetic side of him chiming in, if Tango found Jimmy passed out on the bathroom floor after he’d very obviously thrown up, he’d be pretty worried the next day, too.

Thinking about it, did Jim clean up after him? That was a bad thought, considering the amount of guilt that welled up in the Hellion’s chest just now. He grumbled, walking up the stony staircase and feeling the baby squirm in his arms.

Today, he was gonna stop running. With Flick or not, he was gonna get better. That all inadvertently came to be because of Flicker, which he supposed he should be just that much more grateful for. Nudging into his room, he saw a dejected looking Jim on the floor, all of the shulker boxes seemingly full. Still, around him in almost a cultish looking circle was the mounds and mounds of Jellie stuff Scar had given their baby. That wasn’t even considering the stuff that wasn’t stored in their room.

Jim just looked at him and sighed, slapping his thighs and standing up, “Ran outta shulkers. I’ll head out and get some more, ‘kay? Just keep it easy and hang with Flick.”

“Jim- no,” Tango rebutted, frowning when Jim kissed his forehead and leaned up against the wall to slip on his shoes.

“I’ll be back, love,” he said, seemingly in some sort of trance. He didn’t even look at the Hellion. Which, Tango couldn’t exactly be mad at. Jimmy wasn’t ignoring him on purpose, he knew that. Tango frowned, pulling the avian by the wrist and sitting him on the bed.

“Oi-“ Jim chirped, stumbling back behind the shorter male, eyes wide and flustered once he was placed on the bed. Tango sat Flicker down in the avian’s lap and smiled.

“How about this,” he began, gently holding his face pressing a kiss to his boyfriends cheek, “I go and get some shulkers and you get some much deserved time with Flick.”

“Wha-? No! You’re not well right now. I saw chat yesterday. Your death message. You fell from a high place,” Jim argued, hands instinctively curling around Flicker’s body.

The Hellion paused, raising both of his eyebrows in shock. He supposed… yes, that would be concerning to see especially with how the avian found him. A frown appeared on Tango’s lips, “I did.”

Without any defensiveness in his voice, Jimmy became aware that his assumption from the previous day was right. Falling was the Hellion’s choice. And his tone made the canary’s face morph into something pitiful, “Tango-“

“I won’t fly if it makes you feel better. I’ll walk,” the Hellion whispered, smiling down at his boyfriend, “It’s early in the day, I’ll make it back in time. There won’t be any monsters spawning.”

The avian sucked in a breath, trying to find some rebuttal but only finding an exhale, “I guess…”

Tango held Jim’s jaw with one hand and brushed some of the avian’s hair from his face with the other. Jimmy just looked up at him, and the Hellion realized just how tired the man looked. Pressing a kiss to his lips, Tango smiled.

“I’ll come back safe and sound, Jim. If you’d like, I can bring home some stuff for dinner. Do we have enough for tonight?” Tango asked, walking over and slipping on an old shirt.

Jim shook his head, leaning back into the pillows and holding the baby against his chest, “We have plenty, don’t worry. I’ll make something nice. Just come home.”

The Hellion nodded, kissing Jim again on the lips and softly rubbing Flicker’s head, “I’ll be back, hun.”

Tango put on some jeans and slipped on some boots and waved his two favorite people farewell. He walked for a little bit, just to make sure that Jim wouldn’t hear him run. Once he knew his footsteps wouldn’t be heard, he booked it. Down the flights of stairs, through the hallways, and out the two grandiose doors out front. He didn’t wait for the door to shut before he was already bolting across the bridge.

Why run? Well, because, he didn’t actually know for sure that he would be back soon enough. He was sure he’d be done well before night, he just really didn’t want to risk it. The trip wouldn’t have been too much of an issue if Jim didn’t mind him flying, but whatever the boyfriend wants, the boyfriend gets. Besides, he needed the exercise, no? Always good to go on a run.

Well, that’s what he was telling himself as he ran.

It was strange; running. See, he told himself he wouldn’t run anymore, and here he was, running to get shulker boxes to throw out the best thing he’d ever have. He’d been running for years. If he really wanted to mourn, his entire life. So, even though he hadn’t done it in a while, physically careening across the land like it was life or death, it felt nice. Every time his feet bounded against the snowy terrain, everything felt like it was in his control. The way his lungs contracted and expanded in his chest.

Running was his escape, and running was his confinement. Running was his control, and lack thereof. Running was his comfort and his discomfort. Running was his everything. How could you give up something like that?

How could he ever give up his ability to run? To slow down?

Through the forests, across empty dens void of any living animal family, under branches with empty nests, and across frozen rivers with no fish. In this frozen place, there wasn’t much room for second chances, was there? In the brush and snow there was not a flicker of life.

His breath came out in opaque puffs of condensation. His searing insides mixing with the frigid outside created a sort of steam to come off of him as he ran. The physical activity made him even hotter, his blue fire coming to an intense broil inside of his chest.

He didn’t stop running. Even when he ran into the hotter biomes. The lush oak trees almost retracted their leaves from the unadulterated heat. The nice, green grass singed under his hot boots.

His mind melted into a single thought, a single task. ‘Get home to Jimmy as quickly as possible’.

Eventually, the many, many minutes of running was beginning to take a toll. His throat began to burn with the air. His legs ached, and that pain was snaking its way up his back. Pressure was built up in his spine, and he just needed to sit down and rest. So eventually, his breakneck pace was reduced to a shuffle along the dirt paths. He was decently close to the shopping district, so there wasn’t much rush. The sun wasn’t even too high in the sky yet, so he had a whole day ahead of him.

He sighed, followed by a deep breath, and he thought, ‘Why did I even run?’

Though, he had to admit, this path looked rather familiar. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d walked to the shopping district. He did remember, however, pretty recent time walking back.

Yes…

He walked this path with Mumbo. How long ago was that? Where were they even walking? Oh, yes! To Mumbo’s little spot behind the foliage. Right there, behind those bushes. Tango’s eyes locked onto the shape of the leaves. Behind those bushes was a small, private outcropping on a cliff side by the sea. His legs stilled. He really should get a move on and get those shulkers… but… He felt something tug him toward the flora. Through the bushes. He didn’t want to fall, no, but he wanted to see what was there. Maybe… he’d find Mumbo.

His ears sharpened themselves, and he listened for any signs of life. He only heard the rustling of leaves and the soft chirps of birds for miles around. The grass swishing against other blades, and twigs cracking a couple hundred feet away. He couldn’t hear any sound from a person-

But- no! There it was! A breath. A very soft, very unnoticeable, breath. Someone was behind the bushes. Maybe…

Tango walked forward, ignoring his logic telling him to just hurry and get the shulkers. Pushing through the leaves and sticks, tugging at his clothing and snagging the fabric; he kept going. Before he’d made it all the way through the shrubbery, he was met with the sight of crystal blue waters and the wide eyes of a very familiar mustachioed man.

He wasn’t wearing a suit anymore. Just a simple t-shirt, and some rugged, worn looking jeans along with a pair of old looking cowboy boots. His wardrobe was no longer as refined, but rather much more practical than his usual garb. Along his arms were a few bandages, some looked old, others looked new, and a myriad of recent looking scars. He could only guess he had a few more underneath his clothes, much like Tango did. He supposed that since Tango had seen Mumbo last, the lad had toughed out the wilderness and had the first breath of fresh air probably since season 2.

Of course, when Mumbo saw it was Tango, and not some other hermit, the man relaxed, letting out a small sigh, “You scared me.”

“I-“

“How’d you find me?” Mumbo asked, turning his head to face the crashing waves below. His feet dangled over the edge, hands clasped together.

Tango shrugged, feigning a sort of relaxed demeanor, “I wasn’t looking, I was just going to get some shulker boxes and I heard you kinda.”

“Why were you getting shulkers?” Mumbo turned his head slightly, and the Hellion saw the corner of his eye. His hair wasn’t exactly matted or messy, but it also wasn’t his usual level of ‘kempt’.

“Oh… for uhm, Flick’s stuff,” the Hellion answered, almost feeling a little small.

“Ah I see..”

Tango pushed his way fully through the bushes, brushing off his clothes for any leaves or burrs. Crossing his arms, the Hellion found comfort in holding himself. He stared at the grass. It was long, but not enough to billow. Not like the place he spawned in when he arrived to Hermitcraft. Not like the place he met Mumbo in.

“Mumbo, can we talk?” He asked, looking up hesitantly at the back of the human’s head.

Mumbo just leaned back, the heels of his palms in the cool soil. He never looked back, eyes still locked on the sun rising over the horizon. “Sure. I’ve got all the time in the world.”

Tango exhaled through his lips. He walked forward, rethinking his decision to sit down. Maybe he was making a mistake.

He resolved himself, awkwardly lowering himself onto the grass. In some weird attempt to seem unbothered, he found himself mimicking Mumbo’s position. Hands behind him, propping him up, splaying his fingers in the grass. He felt the blades tickle the webbing in between them.

A few beats of silence passed between them. Mumbo looked monumentally more relaxed now. His dark eye bags were practically nonexistent. His shoulder posture was all too confident. “I… I think I’m second guessing myself,” Tango whispered.

The humans didn’t falter, “About what?”

“Giving away flick,” Tango answered, moving his feet to dangle over the cliff side as well. It was almost nauseating to do so. Almost, but not quite. Because while his vertigo was doing its rounds, it almost felt great to have the thrill of falling without actually falling. His legs felt so free.

He caught the sight of Mumbo looking at him with a raised eyebrow, a small smile could be seen from underneath his mustache, “Are you uh… sure you wanna have this conversation with me? And not Jim?”

Thinking about Mumbo’s facial hair, and finally being able to see it properly, Tango saw that it looked rather crazy. He had a beard now, or at least the ghost of one. His stubble was rather scraggly, a bit patchy, which was surprising given how lush the facial hair under his nose was, but nonetheless rather nice looking. He didn’t seem to care how crazy he looked. Almost like a mountain man. Especially with his bushy, much too un-groomed mustache.

Tango cleared his throat, looking away from the human’s confused gaze. That was a great question. Why wasn’t he having this conversation with Jim? He hadn’t even intended to find Mumbo at all, so what his plan in this? His tail wrapped around his torso anxiously.

He just didn’t want to talk to Jim about this when he was already so emotional. It wasn’t right. It would be much too distressing. And, it would be much smarter to speak to someone about this who’s a lot more unbiased. Because if he has this conversation with Jim, and still decided not to keep her, that would kill him.

Tango didn’t want to give the love of his life false hope because that was cruel.

“Well… I… Jim’s going through enough cause of me. I didn’t want to fluster him even more,” the Hellion began, finally feeling some courage to look the human in the eye, “And besides, you were the first non-Hellion I’d ever met. You had no reason to trust me, and yet, you did. I owe everything to you, y’know. I… I guess I trust you, too.”

“Aw, thanks!” Mumbo exclaimed, cocking his head to the side and scrunching his eyes as he smiled.

“Heh, no problem,” Tango chuckled, allowing his gaze back into the swirling water below. It was so blue and clear. A violent wave smashed into the rock side, splashing a solid 70-90 feet up to where the two men sat. The Hellion squeezed his face together when the salty water sprayed his face. Mumbo laughed a bit.

Silence again.

“So… what were you questioning?” Mumbo pressed, looking back over to him. He straightened his posture, leaning over to prop his arms on his knees.

“Okay, so,” Tango started, feeling his heart speed up, “I’m like- terrified of being a dad. Not because I don’t like kids, I love kids, but I’m so scared of messing all of it up. I don’t wanna hurt her. And I thought that I would be a horrible dad, but Flicker freaking loves me! And I love her too, and that’s what sucks! I love her to death!”

What pissed Tango off was the fact that the human didn’t even look surprised at that ‘revelation’. He just nodded along, his eyes kind and soft.

The Hellion continued, “And that would be one thing, if I just loved her, then I could give her up easily. Like, my entire life, I’ve given up so many things I loved and cared about. What was one more?”

Whatever kindness the human had melted into a deep pity. It looked like it physically pained him for Tango to tell him that. It looked like he wanted to hug Tango and never let go.

The Hellion looked away, “But then I realized Jimmy loved her. And everyone else did. And I was happy I think? Like, everything seemed so great. I was eating and drinking and doing all the stuff healthy people should do. And like… everything was so good. I don’t even want to go back to life without her. I really don’t.”

The Human’s eyes traveled back to the water, watching how the waves fought with each other against the volcanic stone. “So… what’s holding you back?”

The Hellion buried his head into his hands, “What if I mess up? Like… if I keep her, what if I make her worse? How do I know that giving her away is a better or worse option?”

“You don’t.” Mumbo replied after a few moments, completely deadpan.

Tango glared at him from in between his fingers, “Well that’s comforting.”

The human chuckled, noticing how Tango’s face didn’t hesitate, and quickly straightened, correcting himself, “Okay- what I mean is this: you can’t help what kinda family adopts Flick. You can try to, but at the end of the day, it’s out of your control. She could get an amazing life, or she could get an awful one. There’s also the fact that the adoption system is well messed up, as well as the fact that Hellions do have a poor reputation, so it’s unlikely that she’d ever get adopted…”

Tango paused, eyes a little wide. He supposed… yea, that made sense. She was, not only, not guaranteed a good family to live with, but also not garunteed a family at all. He knew, from the limited times he’d been to Hub, that Hellions weren’t looked to kindly upon even there. Despite how diverse the place was. But, he honestly shouldn’t be surprised when Hellions like him existed who constantly validated those hateful views. No one really cared about Hellions because it was easier for a Hellion to take the side of their oppressors than to fight against them.

So he shouldn’t be surprised if Flicker never even left the system. And he would never condemn a child to that. So… what does he do with that information?

“Sorry- I just mean-“ Mumbo quickly apologized, taking the Hellion’s silence as offense.

Tango shook his head, “No, you’re right.”

Mumbo ran a hand through his hair, pulling right through any knot or snag. He thought for a moment, a long moment, before adding something on, “But, Tango, if you really don’t feel like you’d be a good dad, I’m sure there are ways we could make it work. We could directly contact a family to give her away to and schedule visits? So she’s still in your life but she’s not your responsibility. But that could take… years. And it’s not even a guarantee that we’d even find a family that wants to take in a Hellion child.”

Mumbo was right again. Not only would that most likely take years, so by then Tango, Jim, and Flick would practically already be a family, but also she’d be way too old and that would take too much of a toll on her mental health. And even if they did miraculously find a family who was 1). Willing to take a Hellion child 2). Willing to adopt when she was a baby, what if the family had no idea what they were doing?

Hellions weren’t necessarily less than over world creatures, Tango had recently learned, but they were different. They were not the same in the slightest, so what if they, he didn’t know, bought a book from an unreliable source? Received misinformation? Get that stupid ‘Hellion Biology Lessons 101’ book Joe was talking about?

Then Flicker would be in a completely unprepared family who didn’t even know how to begin to take care of her. Because it wasn’t like there were actual resources for that stuff!

And that thought made him realize that if there were resources like that, the nether would probably be in a better place right now.
Stars…

“Mumbo… I think… I just… I don’t know,” the Hellion groaned, burying his head back into his hands.

“Look, Tango, can I be real with you?”

“That’s what I came here for,” Tango replied, his voice a tad sarcastic. The human chuckled, turning his head to face the side of the Hellion’s head. His smile grew a bit serious.

“Okay, so like, you know you have a choice right? Not everything has to be fate, it can be your choice. If you want to keep her, and you want to put in the work to be a good parent, I don’t see the issue with that,” the human spoke, placing a comforting hand on the Hellion’s shoulder.

His paused. Everything should be working. He should be running home to tell Jim that he was fed to keep her right now, but he just couldn’t believe it. It felt too good to be true to finally have, within his grasp, a life he wanted to live.

Well, he guessed it was because of what he said earlier. He’d already lost so much. He supposed that he did want this, and it was possible, but he was scared of losing it. He’d just expected his life to be horrible. He’d gotten so comfortable in his misery, a life outside of it felt downright suspicious.

But old habits die hard, so the Hellion scrounged up any defensive, half-baked reason he could use to maybe convince Mumbo it was a bad idea. Even though he didn’t want it to be a bad idea.

“I just… I don’t want her to grow up and feel like it’s her responsibility to fix me,” Tango mumbled, tucking his knees to his chest.

The human shrugged, “Well, then, don’t let being a parent be your medicine! Easier said than done, but like I said, you have a choice here.“

“I’d rather want to get better for myself than someone else,” the Hellion admitted, turning his head to rest on his knees but staring at Mumbo.

“I get that, but know that we all start somewhere. Right now, you may only have the mental capabilities to live for other people. That doesn’t mean that one day you won’t be able to live yourself. That kind of stuff comes with time,” Mumbo smiled, waving his hands around as he spoke.

“And therapy,” the human quickly added, earning a slight smirk from the Hellion.

After a few beats of silence, the mustached man breathed out, “Tango, the reason you’re a good dad is not because you’re the only Hellion, you know. You’re a good dad because you love her, she loves you, and, goddammit, you know her better than anyone else!”

“You know the future she could’ve had in the nether. And as much as I don’t know what exactly she would’ve experienced, I’m not dense enough to not realize that it would’ve been bad,” Mumbo explained, sounded a bit exasperated.

It felt almost euphoric to hear those words. Like a firm pat on the back after getting some kickass advice. Tango wanted to believe it all so bad. But what if it was all just him getting his hopes up? He felt like more parts of him were starting to be convinced to keep her. But the part of him that was hesitant was loud. Very loud.

Mumbo rolled his eyes, clearing his throat as to get the Hellion’s attention, “Dude, I think you’re just a good dad.”

Good dad.

Honestly, no words have ever sounded sweeter. He liked thinking he could be called ‘dad’ one day. Maybe… he could be called ‘Affá’. He pictured a little Hellion girl with yellow, curly hair calling him that.

“I’m worried I’m too damaged,” Tango muttered, feeling his eyes draw back to the waves crashing below.

The human went quiet, deciding to look down as well. The waves were so blue, but as they raged against the rocks, they turned a foamy white. The shrubbery rustled around them. Mumbo scooted over toward the shorter man and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

The Hellion looked up into the man’s kind eyes. “You’re not,”

Tango smiled, too. The human seemed to falter for a moment, pulling his arm away and placing it on the ground behind them, “Heh, you probably think my words are ridiculous considering I literally ran away from everyone and disappeared.”

Tango shrugged, “Yea, but you needed it.”

“I still feel kinda bad, though. Just leaving you lot high and dry,” Mumbo rebutted, but he, for some reason, began to look a bit guilty, “I… sorry. This isn’t about me.”

“No, it’s okay. I talked to you, you can talk to me. We’re even,” the Hellion reassured, feeling his tail curl and uncurl comfortably.

The human hesitated, clearly debating if he should be honest or not. He clicked his tongue, playing with his mustache absentmindedly, “I just… I can’t help but compare myself to others, you know? I’m doing perfectly fine, but for some reason, I’m not enough for myself. Everyone’s just… so much better than me. I mean, look at your citadel. It’s miles better than whatever I could make.”

“I don’t think that, Mumbo,” the Hellion whispered, his voice drenched in absolute and utter sincerity. The human almost looked flustered at the genuine compliment. Clearly, the poor guy needed that.

“Yea, well, it’s not just that,” the mustached man stammered, “‘Cause… sometimes I feel like I’m an ant looking at a range of mountains. You guys are these monumental things that stand for everything I can’t be… and even if I spent my entire life climbing those mountains, I, as the ant, would never even reach halfway.”

“I get it,” the Hellion shrugged, offering a comforting smile.

“What? Being an ant?” Mumbo asked, sounding too authentically incredulous.

“No,” Tango half-laughed, fidgeting with his claws, “I get feeling like you’re not good enough. I always saw you guys as the sky. It’s always going up, and it’s forever infinite. There’s no bounds to its beauty or greatness. So much larger than anything I could ever be.”

“And I… I’m just a piece of fruit. I’m sweet and cool, kinda, and everyone loves me until I start to rot. Then everyone gets grossed out and they leave. So, why bother eating an apple when it will eventually rot and turn all brown, like the color of death? Why eat an apple when the core of it is disgusting? And why bother giving people apples when they won’t even eat all of it?” the Hellion explained, a frown slowly carving a place for itself on his face.

“Tango, I hope you realize every single person on this server would eat a hundred apple cores for you. Each,” Mumbo replied all tongue in cheek.

The Hellion elbowed the human’s side and tisked, “Yea, and the whole server would move mountains for you, too, genius. Me included. Me especially.”

“Hah, well, you got me there,” Mumbo whispered, resting his chin on the heel of his hand.

Some geese flew overhead in their strange v-formation. They honked and their outlines grew blurry as they flew through a low-flying cloud. The Hellion took in a breath.

“You saved her, you know,” the human suddenly blurted, looking down instead of up, “You fed her when she was starving. You warmed her up when we were still panicking. If it weren’t for you, she would probably be dead. You’re like… hah, well, her flicker of hope.”

Tango’s eyes grew a bit wide and the Hellion sucked in a quiet breath. His heart ached and swelled with pride at the same time. He felt overwhelming happiness and an underlying sense of mourning.

A phrase echoed in his head. A phrase that he’d told himself for years. A question that had been answered before, and yet, he’d never understood. Something he’d promised to remember. Something he’d failed to accept. A statement and then a question.

”Your name is older than our ancestors,”

His heart was racing too fast to even think of the final part. The question. Regardless, he was holding back tears. He felt… almost overjoyed to hear that.

So, all he could whisper in response was: “Yea…”

“No matter what you decide, just know, we’ll all support you two hundred percent. Because you’re worth the time it takes to learn. And taking time for yourself to learn too isn’t a bad thing. You’re not a bad person for being unprepared,” the human smiled, placing a hand back on his shoulder.

“Besides, when are you actually and truly ready for something like parenthood? Read all the books you like; being a dad comes from experience. And you got a decent amount now, don’t ya?” Mumbo Joked, frowning when Tango seemed to be turning the human’s words over in his head.

Taking in a breath, Tango responded, “There’s just so many things in my past that have happened to me.”

Mumbo went quiet for a bit. He contemplated the Hellion’s words. He thought about what he should say. And he simply answered, “You don’t owe anyone an explanation or any clarification, but just know, if you ever decide to open up about that stuff, we’ll be here. I’ll be here. Jimmy will be here. Grian, Impulse, Zed, Xisuma, Keralis, Joe, Scar, and well, I suppose everyone.”

They’d be there for Tango.

“We’re your family.”

Tango had a family regardless if Flicker stayed or not. He had an even bigger family if she did.

“We’re not going anywhere.”

They’re not… going anywhere.

He wasn’t going to lose them. He wasn’t going to lose these beautiful things. It wasn’t too good to be true, because it was just fucking true. He’d been hiding for so long from a monster that had been defanged years ago. His friends, his family, were not going anywhere. He had his partner. He had his village. He had his own certainty. He had everything.

He just needed his daughter.

“Mumbo, I have to go,” Tango stated, quickly standing up and trying to find his elytra.

“What?” Mumbo questioned, incredibly startled and a little concerned.

“Jim and I need to have a talk,” he answered, sighing in frustration when he remembered his elytra had probably despawned when he fell yesterday. Besides, Jimmy didn’t want him flying today, so he shouldn’t anyway.

“About?” The mustached man pressed, still quite bewildered.

“About… everything.”

Tango was about to bolt then and there, but he paused, turning back to his first ever friend.

“Mumbo?” Tango asked

“Yes?”

“Thank you. So much. For everything.”

Mumbo smiled, this big, genuine smile that shined brighter than the sun, “No problem, man.”

And like that, the Hellion was off.

He was still exhausted from running earlier, but none of it mattered. Because he had a boyfriend to attend to. He had a life to catch. He had a future to behold. Tango wasn’t going to shy away, because he had no reason to run anymore.

No.

He was going to keep going.

Tango had been running for years. If he really wanted to mourn, his entire life. And out of every time he’s run, he couldn’t pick out a single one where he felt good about it.

Except today. Because today, for the first time, he wasn’t running away. For the first time, he wasn’t just standing still, and letting the past catch up. No. Today, he was running towards whatever thing that was thrown at him. Because he’d be able to take it. He wasn’t going to give up running. He was never going to stop running. It wasn’t in his nature to ever stop. Instead, he’d just choose where he ran.

No longer would he cry alone in his bathroom. No more secret panic attacks. No more breakdowns in silence. Because he was going to have a support system to back him up. Because they weren’t going anywhere. And even though his problems wouldn’t magically disappear, it’s not like he was alone anymore.

Trees rushed past like a blur of green and brown. The soft grass was crushed underneath his feet. For some reason, Hellion’s were great at running. He could weave through the brush with ease and leap over any stone all to get to his boyfriend.

His chest was heaving, his lungs hurt, and his legs were killing him. But goddammit he wasn’t going to stop. Not at all. Never again.

So many stories to tell. So many memories to cry about. And out of all the people he could tell, he knew one person deserved to hear it all first. There was a chance Jimmy would hate him. Maybe he’d be disgusted. Maybe the canary would never want to see Tango again, and as much as that scared him, he could see that this needed to happen.

And he was going to be better. He was going to be the best dad he could. He was going to figure it all out. He was going to read every damn book on the planet about being a dad if it meant having her forever and seeing her smile again. He wouldn’t need those godforsaken shulker boxes, because he wasn’t going to give away his baby girl anymore. Absolutely not.

Tango bounded through the now snowy forest, feeling his lungs sear with the feeling of the frigid air going in and out. His body burst into a great flame. His internal fire roared in his chest and blue flame spilled from his body and melted the snow around him. A steady steam radiated from the ground he rushed over.

His mother once whispered in his ear when he was very young.

”Your name is older than our ancestors,” she whispered, “Do you know why I chose it to be yours?”

No. He hadn’t for years. Even now, even with this new outlook on life, he couldn’t for the life of him understand why she gave him the name ‘TangoTek’ other than upholding tradition. The way she explained it to him all those years ago felt like a greater cause waiting to happen.

He was not his name.

But…

Not now, at least.

Maybe, just maybe, he’d one day find it in himself to say he earned it.

But for now, he just needed his family. And that’s what mattered.

Bounding through the icy landscape, he blurred across the scene like a steam powered engine. The world rushed around him, and nothing, not a single thing mattered. All detailed smudged and twisted into a singular shade of greenish-gray. Until a sprig of red.

What?

The Hellion stopped, snow spraying everywhere as he skidded to a halt. He was around the base of his citadel, right about to get to the ledge in which he could hop up onto the bridge. But… something behind him called for him to stop. To stare. To admire.

Tango turned his head. First, he was met with the sight of the large windows that led into his storage room. Looking down, he was met with the side of the rotten, degrading mush of apple that he’d thrown out all that time ago. It was disgusting. It was old. It had been expired for some time now. However, from that apple grew a Fire Lily.

Fire Lilies only existed in hot climates. Frost Lilies existed in the cold. They were the same flower, just different seasonal colors. They change colors to adapt to their environments. Their roots and stems and leaves change to better suit the season. If one ever found a lily outside of their season, they’d probably be able to watch it wilt. Seeing a healthy lily in the wrong color for the season is a rare sight.

Not a single blemish on its petals. It did not wilt. It did not bend. It stood proud. It was the most beautiful Fire Lily he’d ever seen. Even compared to the ones from his dream. Vibrant red with orange bleeding from its middle.

And for some reason.

Tango began to cry just staring at it.

He remembered seeing that wilted flower in Scar’s park. The winter version; the Frost Lily. It had a special pot for it to exist in the warmer weather, but it still died. The Hellion had no idea how this flower was even here. He supposed it was a miracle.

He exhaled, and turned, not because he wanted to, but because he needed to. Because the love of his life still needed him. So he turned and ran. He scrambled up a ledge and then hoped the walls to his bridge. The door, taking seven mechanical clicks to open, felt like an eternity. Slamming the button to close the doors, he didn’t even check to see if they properly closed like earlier that day.

Rushing up the stairs, feeling the routine he and Jimmy had built this past month, his tears welled up again. He wasn’t going to run anymore. He wasn’t going to be alone anymore.

Any doubt could be refuted. Any question answered. And problem solved. He wouldn’t be alone anymore.

Tango was far from a perfect man, but for the first time in his life, he felt compelled to try. To try to be better. To actually try to heal. To tell his sorrow and woes for everyone he loved.

Pushing open the doors to his bedroom, he was met with the sight of Jimmy hunched over Flicker, softly cooing to her. He brushed his knuckles against her cheek and pressed kisses to her head. The canary looked as though he’d been crying. And while the avian didn’t notice the door swing open, he did hear the panting from Tango.

Jim turned his head, eyes wild and slightly shocked. The room was dark, and it was messy. At the same time, it was much too empty. There was not enough of Flicker’s life in it, because so much had already been packed away. They’d have to take it all out. They’d have to redecorate. They’d have to make an actual nursery. Tango had never been so excited to unpack before.

The Hellion shut the door, walking toward the foot of their bed. The canary looked like he was about to say something, but Tango interrupted him.

“I want to keep Flicker,” he stated, his voice refusing to show any doubt, his tone never faltering. He was sure, and Jim’s eyes lit up like he’d never seen before. The canary stood up, holding… their baby against his chest.

“Are you serious?” He asked, not even trying to hold back his tears. Jimmy’s chest practically heaved with his excitement, his legs were moving without other purpose than to be closer. Jimmy stood over the Hellion with bated breath. Two seconds away from bursting into sobs of happiness.

Canaries don’t often get a happy ending either, so maybe Jimmy resigned himself to the very same fate Tango did. They never wanted to reach for what they desired, because the pain from feeling it slip from their fingertips was worse than yearning.

One of the Hellion’s hands snaked their way to Jim’s waist, and Tango brushed a strand away from the canary’s face with the other. “There are a lot of things I have to tell you, but yes. I’m more serious than I have ever been in my life. I want this. With you.”

Jim let out a strangled sob, his head not able to support the weight of his relief and landing his head into the nook of Tango’s neck. The Hellion held Jimmy close. Flicker looked up from Jim’s arms all confused, but she smiled happily now that she was next to her other dad.

Tango was Flick’s dad.

“Thank you, Tango. Thank you. I didn’t want to leave my baby,” Jim cried, the emotions he’d pent up for the last month spilled out onto Tango’s shoulder.

“I didn’t want to leave her, either, I’m sorry,” He replied, barely unable to bite back his own tears, “I’m sorry I put you through this. No one should have to worry like that. I’m so sorry.”

The canary shook his head, “No, it’s okay-“

“It’s not okay, Jim. You deserved better, okay?”

The room echoed with the sounds of Jim’s sniffles. His poor, golden wings were an absolute mess. The avian hesitantly looked up, “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“I could ask you the exact same question.”

Jimmy finally looked up, eyes puffy and red, but this time from tears of pure joy. Tango pledged he’d never make him cry anymore tears of sadness ever again. He smiled, pressing a kiss to the Hellions lips.

It lingered, but never deepened, because this kiss was a thank you. From both of them to the other. For completely different reasons. The kiss wasn’t like fireworks. Nor did it make lava pool in either of their bodies. It was the kind of kiss that lacked any lust. It was the kind of kiss that said ‘I love you’ and meant every single syllable.

It was the kind of kiss people dreamt that they’d one day have.

A kiss that promised a happily ever after.

Or something along those lines.

And when they pulled away, for no other reason than the simple knowledge that they mutually acknowledged eachother’s grace, they stared into each other’s eyes. Tango loved Jimmy’s eyes. They were like rich dark chocolate and a shot of espresso. Like both of those things, Jim’s eyes shot straight adrenaline and energy into Tango’s veins. Tango could devour those eyes.

“Tell me what you need to tell me. I’ll listen,” the canary smiled, leaning into the Hellion’s cupped hand against his cheek. Tango brushed his thumb against Jim’s stubble. It was much longer now; no longer as trimmed as before. And Jimmy had never looked sexier.

“It’ll take awhile,”

“Take all the time you need,” Jimmy whispered propping Flicker up further on his body, “we have a whole life to spend together, after all.”

And Flick looked at Tango with those deep red eyes that told him he could do no wrong.

Chapter Text

He was sat at a table; this small thing. Only being able to host two people and maybe a cup of coffee. The wood was a deep, rich, red color with vibrant chatoyant streaks all throughout. On the edges were intricate wood carvings of swirls and flowers. More lilies. Always lilies.

He wasn’t sat there alone, however, because in this bright, white void, there was another soul. His mother. She looked very alive, if Tango ignored her red hair. Her face was covered in soft scars and other blemishes, but it had life in it. With blood in her tinted pink ears and cheeks, she no longer looked like a corpse walking. Despite her scars, there was not a wrinkle on her face that made her look any older than 25.

While he adored to see his mother so beautiful, seeing her so young killed a bit of his soul.

They’d been sitting there for what felt like an hour, just staring. She had this smile on her face that Tango couldn’t exactly describe. See, it shined not like the sun, but of a torch. Gentle, not too flashy, but enough to scare all of the monsters away. A smile that said ‘You did it’. Eyes that looked at the Hellion like he was a treasure to behold. Eyes that told him he was worth being loved.

She reached out like she was asking for his hands. The Hellion obeyed, extending his arms and feeling her soft ones wrap around his rough palms. Tango looked up, feeling his heart race with the feeling of his mother’s warm touch. She felt alive.

“You’ve done well, TangoTek,” his mother whispered, “I’m proud.”

The Hellion nodded, looking down to hide the tears pricking in the corners of his vision. His smile couldn’t be smothered, though, even if he tried. His mother’s hand left his so she could lift his chin. “Don’t hide yourself, TangoTek. I really am proud of how far you’ve come.”

“Your conversation with Jimmy was quite incredible, wasn’t it? I was right next to you through it all,” his mom grinned, softly caressing Tango’s cheek with her thumb.

The Hellion let out a wet laugh as tears ran down his face, “All seven hours?”

“Yes. All seven hours,” she confirmed, “You were strong for saying all of that, bralho.”

Tango looked to her chest where her necklace was. He could see the warped face reflection of himself. He had so many questions. So many things he needed to say. This wasn’t a normal dream, and he knew that for a fact. He wasn’t just looking at a figment. No. This was his mother in front of him.

“It took much longer to get it all out than I thought it would,” he admitted earning a sympathetic hum from his mother.

She nodded, brushing some stray tears away from his eyes. “That’s okay.”

“I felt kinda bad for talking for so long,” the Hellion whispered, feeling the reflex to look towards the floor.

She cocked her head to the side, and while she looked a little puzzled, her smile never wavered, “Why?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I just felt like I was taking so much of his time.”

“Oh, TangoTek,” she chided, lightly tapping the Hellion over the head, “You’re not taking up his time.”

“Mom-!”

“Ah, ah, ah! No. You’re not taking up his time. I can assure you that he wanted to hear all of it,” his mother huffed, quickly interrupting him.

Tango shifted in his chair, smiling softly as he feigned annoyance. He wished he had more of this. This sweet, sticky domestic love that filled your chest like honey. But another question sat at the back of his tongue. He leaned forward slightly, his eyes traveling away from hers once again. “You… you don’t mind me and Jim, do you?”

“Hm?” She asked, genuinely puzzled.

“Like,” the Hellion paused, trying to articulate his words, “You don’t mind that I’m… with Jim, do you?”

“I don’t…” his mom trailed off, narrowing her eyes a little as she tried to discern what he meant.

“You don’t care that I’m in love with a man?” He pleaded, the nervousness apparent in his voice.

“Tango,” she uttered, as if she was begging him to be serious.

“What?”

“Tango!”

“What?!” He implored.

“You can’t be serious,” she whispered, almost sounding offended.

“I am!” He exclaimed, defensively, surrendering his hands.

“Tango, I couldn’t care in the slightest,” she sighed, shaking her head in disbelief, “I can’t believe you ever thought otherwise.”

Tango slumped, “I don’t know! Maybe you were more old fashioned… I guess?”

His mother put her hands back out on the table, asking for his back. Again, he obeyed and offered his palms for her to trace. “Tango, never in a million years would I ever disapprove of who you loved based off of something so arbitrary. Jimmy is a wonderful boy. And besides, he has beautiful wings.”

“I’m sure he’d love to hear you say that, mom,” he whispered, exhaling with relief.

“I would’ve loved to have met him,” his mother chattered, absentmindedly going over every scar and line on Tango’s hands.

Tango nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. He breathed in and out, trying to still his racing heart. While he had so much he wanted to tell her, at the same time, he couldn’t find anything to say. He was so full of questions and yet he was speechless at the same time. The Hellion looked up at his mom, “I’m surprised I didn’t have breakdown. When we were talking, I mean. I usually have those,”

She bowed her head in agreement, “I’m glad you didn’t.”

Tango continued, “And we set up very good boundaries, I think. I… I suppose I never knew how amazing talking felt. Like, remembering everything was kind of shit- uh, sorry, crap, but it didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would?”

His mother huffed a laugh, lifting her fingers to brush some stray strands of hair from her face, “I was there the whole time. You did great.”

“Yea. I’m really trying to get better, you know. I’m not just like… saying that. I really do mean it,” the Hellion rambled, straightening his back. He sat like an eager student pet with how he leaned forward.

Mom raised an eyebrow and shook her head, bringing her hands back to clasp both of his together. “And I’m very happy, but understand it won’t be easy. I’m very proud with what you have done, but if you find yourself in a tough place, you won’t give up, right?”

Tango looked down at the table. His stomach filled with a bit of embarrassment as his previous enthusiasm. He knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park or anything, but it felt a little bad hearing his own mother say that. Shifting in the other seat caused Tango to look back up again.

“TangoTek,” she sighed, carefully holding his cheek, “I have no doubt in my mind if you are strong enough to handle this. I’m just worried that you might not think that you’re strong enough.”

Pressing his lips into a thin line, the Hellion felt his eyes cower towards the table. Tango stared down at the hand drip still on the lacquered surface. It was a young hand. Very young. Barely any wrinkles or veins. She looked… as old as him. He supposed he never really noticed it until now. He bit the inside of his cheek, “How old were you when you…”

The Hellion didn’t need to finish that sentence for his mother to frown. That everlasting smile dimmed for a moment. “Twenty four,”

“That means you were nineteen when…” Tango cut himself off; a terrible guilt washed over him. She gave up her life for him in more ways than one.

“It doesn’t matter how old I was when I got pregnant or when I died, okay? Because you are alive and breathing right now; and that is a gift I can never, ever, repay Ryea for,” his mother whispered, her words harsh and final. She told Tango that she wasn’t about to let him blame himself. Not again.

Silence. Her hand fell back down and held his. He was still staring down, too ashamed to look her in the eyes. She was so, so young, and he, and this fact made him want to vomit, was older than her. He supposed he never considered it until now.

“Am I doing the right thing?” he blurted out.

“Pardon?”

Tango slumped again, “…keeping Flicker.”

His mother’s visage warped into something solemn again. Her grasp tightened, and she leaned in a bit closer.

“After all of this time? After all you’ve spoken? You are still worried?” She asked, visibly disappointed.

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking of giving her up again,” she pleaded, visibly getting misty eyed.

“No, I just-“ Tango paused, adjusting himself in his seat, “What if I mess up? What if I’m not ready?”

Her shoulders eased, but not entirely. Her tail, which Tango just noticed had a healthy flame on the end, curled around the leg of her chair. His mother, so young and yet so, so old, looked up with a steely resolve. The Hellion couldn’t help but follow her gaze.

“When I was your mother, would you say I was perfect?” She asked, her stare never leaving Tango’s.

The Hellion shook his head, swallowing, “No. I mean, not perfect but pretty good. Fantastic, even.”

She nodded, her tail flicking upwards and swishing back and forth over her head. She slouched forward, taking her son’s hands once more and holding them tightly. “Right, I wasn’t perfect, but I was good.”

“One more question,” she added, “Do you think that I was ready when I had you?”

The Hellion sucked in a breath. No. She wasn’t ready, was she? How could she have been? His conception was probably less than consensual, maybe borderline rejected. Despite that, he never felt unwanted by his mother. She cared for him regardless.

Did she ever wonder if she was good enough?

“No,” he softly answered, earning a curt nod from his mom.

“Right, my point is, when it comes to being a parent,” she said, her soft smile coming back, “you’ll never truly be ready. No matter how hard you try. And that’s okay, you know. You don’t have to be ready.”

The Hellion furrowed his brow and clenched his teeth, “So… what do I do if I’m not ready for something?”

“You do your best,” she whispered, “because being a parent means doing your best with what you have. Being a parent is making sacrifices that they’ll never know about. Being a parent is loving them when they’re mad at you, and loving them when they’re off in the world on their own. Being a parent is ensuring they get what you could never have.”

He held his breath, feeling his eyes sting with emotion he didn’t know he had in him. His hand tightened around hers as he stared with anticipation. “And Tango? I think you’ve already been doing a great job at being a parent.”

All Tango could do was nod slightly, his lower lip quivering as tears trickled down his cheeks. He didn’t recognize this feeling burning within him. It blossomed from his chest like flowers, reaching its effect through his muscle like vines or roots. Blooming and growing within him was a feeling so good, so pure, he never wanted to be without it. It shot sensations through every sinew of his body, and it was almost too much.

“I… I’m doing the right thing?”

“You are. I truly believe that.”

The Hellion nodded, feeling a sense of closure wash over him. While he couldn’t exactly tell why, his grip on this dream loosened slightly. His mother seemed to take note of the shift in their tiny world, and she sat up from her chair. She dusted off her pristine white dress that resembled that of the void they resided in. Tango followed suit, standing up and awkwardly dusting himself from nothing in particular.

She looked up at him, despite his short height, he was much, much taller than her. She looked quite small now that he wasn’t a child. She walked over and fussed over his clothes. They were his normal ones; not his robes. Actually, he noticed that his hair was yellow. She straightened and tidied them like Tango was about to go out for a job interview. “I once tried to love your father. For your sake.”

Tango frowned.

“It was way before you were born. I tried to love the small things in him. The way he sometimes smiled was always my favorite. He had a nice grin. How he’d fret over the tiniest little things when it came to me. Before you were born, I think he truly believed he could have a happy family,” she whispered, “but when you came into the world, he saw himself in you. And I think he was scared. He hated you as much as he hated himself. Because you…”

Her hands paused for a moment before trailing up to cup his face once more. She looked up into his eyes and he looked down into hers. That deep red shade. “You were the best parts of him and the best parts of me. He created a version of himself that was happy. He created something that could have the things he could never. And instead of appreciating that, he grew envious.”

His mother brushed away a tear Tango didn’t realize was there, “That’s why he was evil.”

“It’s not in our blood, my son, though, I’m sure you understand that now. It was never in a Hellion’s nature. It was never in your nature. Hypocrisy is a fickle thing,” his mother sighed, stepping back and away from the Hellion as his mind started to let go of this dream, “It’s a disease that can be cured. An evil to be vanquished. A sin that can be forgiven. You just have to have the patience, and one day, you may be able to look at a world you never thought was possible.”

He didn’t want to let go of this dream. He wanted to stay with her forever. Tango wanted to be held and comforted by his mother until he couldn’t stand it any longer. He just wished he still had her. Flicker would have loved her.

“You may never see that day, though,” his mother waved her hand, and the table was gone, “but that’s okay.”

“My little TangoTek.”

The Hellion reached out as a force pulled them apart, and the visage of his mother slowly backed away. He couldn’t run, couldn’t move. All he desired was to stay close to her. She never made any attempt to stop it, though, just continuing to smile.

“Mom, please!” He begged, able to break his stillness and reach the out for her, “I’m not ready to leave you!”
His feet moved like they were in honey, but he fought it. He fought leaving her. He fought the way things were supposed to be.

“These things come in stages, and it’s not always linear. Thank you, TangoTek, for never forgetting me.”

“For never forgetting your name,”

She could no longer be seen, but Tango could still hear her. He could still feel her. Even though he couldn’t see, he knew she was right there. Right next to him.

“You know why I chose that name.”

He cried, collapsing to the floor as he felt the full weight of her loss for what felt like the first time in his life. He’d never mourned before. Not like this.

“You know why you chose hers,” she spoke, her voice echoing through the white emptiness, “and I’m grateful.”

Tango sobbed, his hair igniting into a great pyre of this overwhelming sadness. He didn’t cry when he lost her, but he sure as hell could cry now. Why was that? Why after all these years?

“Tango, could you promise me one last favor?”

He only nodded; physically unable to speak.

“Tell my granddaughter that her Pailá loves her very much,” his mother laughed a sweet, hardy laugh before continuing, “and that her name is very special.”

He laughed along with her, looking up at the void sky, which was now turning a soft shade of blue. Pretty hues of the color blotted onto the spotless white like watercolor to a page. The shape of clouds defined themselves and the distant shape of mountains poked up from the ground. The hard, tile-like floor melted into soft, billowing grass. He’d been here before. He’d come here in many dreams.

It was the place he spawned in on his first day of Hermitcraft. Mumbo would be coming soon.

“This is the start of something new, Tango.”

Tango nodded, forcing his legs to stand up. His stance was a wobble, and he swore he’d topple, but he remained up. He looked back up to the forever up sky. There wasn’t a roof over them anymore.

They were no longer trapped in from all sides.

“You’re not alone anymore.”

————
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‘

The whine of a baby is what woke him up. Shaken from his sleep, he saw the position of the sun through the crack of his curtain. He huffed a laugh to himself. Flicker was early as always. He got up, rubbing his eyes and looking at the back of his boyfriend. His wings were an absolute mess. The Hellion sighed, carefully brushing his claws against the softer downy around the base. The golden wings twitched slightly.

Tango made an audible chuckle before scooting himself off of the bed. Jimmy had a real knack at sleeping through Flick’s cries, which was surprising considering how much he doted over the girl. The Hellion felt all the blood rush from his head and he made his way over to Jim’s side of the bed, leaning over the edge of the cradle.

Flicker whined, reaching up to him. He leaned over, gently taking the baby into his arms. She almost instantly melted into his skin. And while Tango felt flattered, he knew she’d get fussy again without her Jellie. So, proactively, he picked up the tiny thing and stuffed it into his pocket for later use. Sitting back down on his side of the bed, he ran his hand up and down her back.

Just like his mother used to do to him.

Speaking of his mother, he had a promise to upkeep. He didn’t move her from his chest, as she seemed pretty comfortable where she was. But he leaned into her ear and began to softly whisper.

“Your grandmother, your Pailá, told me to tell you that she loves you very much,” he spoke, his voice barely audible, “and that your name is incredibly special.”

The Hellion laughed, “She actually had a lot of influence on your name.”

“It’s very special.”

Silence. The clock ticked monotonously, but it didn’t drill into his skull like before. The world was much nicer when he knew his family was with him. His family.

“I’ll tell you about it one day. But not today. Not for a long time,” Tango promised, brushing a finger against her cheek, “and that’s okay… because we…”

He trailed off, wiping his own tears from his face, “We have a whole life to spend together, after all.”

Flicker babbled loudly, a little too loudly, because a deep groan could be heard from the other side of the bed. Tango turned to face his groggy boyfriend. He looked so cute when he was that sleepy. They’d stayed up decently late talking. Just talking. About everything Tango needed to say.

“Mornin’,” Tango said, scooting over to be closer to Jimmy. The avian’s face softened into something sweet. His hand snaked up the Hellion’s back and around to the nape of his neck. Tango felt a shiver run up his spine at his boyfriend’s fingers grazing the skin on the back of his head. The canary pulled him down, and the Hellion made sure to have a sturdy hand on the back of their baby.

Jimmy’s lips met his, and the Hellion couldn’t help but melt into the kiss. Tango held Flicker’s tired body against his, but Jim had already snaked his hand’s into the Hellion’s hair. Tango pulled away for a brief moment, taking in a breath before the canary pulled him back in. The Hellion felt a big smile split onto the canary’s face.

Tango pulled away slightly, his lips still ghosting on the avian’s. He whispered a little, “Well, good morning to you,”

Jim still had his fingers laced in the Hellion’s hair, but gave enough distance to reply, “Yes, good morning.”

The canary’s face faltered for a second, his brows knitting before whispering, “How do you feel?”

That question wasn’t a ‘how do you feel physically’ or a ‘did you sleep well’. That question was more of a ‘are you mentally well enough to function in the presence of other people?’

The shorter man nodded, leaning up further to give his arms some ease. The canary’s hand slid from his hair to his shoulders, finding purchase on one of Tango’s larger scars. “I feel… a lot lighter.”

The avian laughed, brushing a stray hair from the Hellion’s face, “I’m glad.”

Tango watched as Jimmy caught a glimpse of Flicker. His eyes lit up and simultaneously began begging Tango to let him hold her by grabbing in her direction like a toddler. The Hellion shook his head, “You literally just have to ask.”

Jimmy gratefully accepted her and peppered kisses all over her face. His messy, golden feathers stood on end. Tango saw as his skin got covered in goosebumps, and a series of coos slipped their way from his throat. She laughed, nuzzling against his chest and getting comfortable. Tango huffed, smiling softly as he observed his boyfriend look happier than he ever had for their entire relationship. And while Tango could sulk about how a baby made the canary more happy than he had, he found himself not exactly… caring.

He looked up to meet the Hellion’s gaze.

“Thank you,” he whispered, eyes a little misty.

“I should be thanking you,” Tango replied earning a jab from the avian’s wing.

Jim chuckled, grabbing Tango’s wrist and attempting to tug him down, “You’re an absolute cheeseball, you are.”

“Am I?” Tango smirked, lying down and wrapping his arms around the canary’s waist, “Last time I checked, you loved that kind of stuff.”

“I do,” he mumbled, pressing his head into the crook of Tango’s neck, “but even I have my limits.”

“Shocking,”

“Shut up.”

Silence settled over the two men, only broken up by occasional babbles from Flicker. She’d probably get hungry soon, which they’d have to get up, but right now, they were with each other. Once he thought that this could never be his, a family, a daughter, but here he was. Cuddling with his baby and the love of his life.

A familiar feeling bubbled in his chest. A rumble like an old rusty car. He instinctively held it back, and kept it trapped within his ribs. But now that he was properly aware of it, and now that the Hellion had nothing to hide after telling Jim everything, he didn’t have to keep it back. So, Tango had a choice here. He could purr openly and not be embarrassed, or he could keep it to himself.

Well, he’d still probably be embarrassed, but baby steps.

The first time he purred in front of Jimmy was on accident, and he almost immediately stopped right after. And the first time he purred in years was when he was alone and sure that no one could hear him.

Though it may sound ridiculous, maybe he could be closer to being ‘better’. Whatever ‘better’ was.

So that’s what he did. It was slow, because he was weirdly nervous, and it was quiet. Jim didn’t hear it, but he could definitely feel it. The avian glanced in his direction, eyes gleaming with something prideful. Flicker felt it, the soft rumble in Tango’s chest, and she practically became goo; melting into the sensation. Another weird instinct Hellions had.

She purred back, and that, it stuffed the Hellion’s brain with this fuzz. His body went completely slack and the feeling of flowers in his chest grew tenfold. He just… couldn’t think about anything other than comfort. This wave of euphoria washed over him, and he eased the purr from a soft rumble into a tractor engine. Tango closed his eyes and just… existed.

He had never felt so calm. There was no one else in the world besides him and his people. He felt Jim shift in the bed, and he felt some of the warmth lost, but he was so relaxed, he didn’t open his eyes. His chest just kept rumbling, and hers did too. His mind slipped back into a peaceful rest.

His eyes flew open and he was alone in their room. He grabbed his communicator to see that he’d probably slept for an extra 2 hours. He groaned, hearing the bed creak as he sat up and rubbed his face. Did he clonk out that freaking hard? He was literally just awake!

Though, and this was pretty interesting, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept and not had a dream. He wondered if this is what it was like to not be troubled by nightmares all the time. To just go to sleep and… well… sleep.

He stood up from his bed, looking around for any sign of the two rascals. They weren’t on the couch or in the bathroom. He sighed, “Probably in the kitchen.”

But just as he was about to walk out of the room, the door opened and in walked the canary and the little Hellion. Tango smiled, walking over and kissing Jim’s cheek, “Okay, I’m up for real this time. Good morning.”

Jim laughed, “Good morning for realsies, then. Flicker got fussy because she was hungry and then she got fussy because when I went to get her bottle, I didn’t take you with us.”

The avian handed the baby to Tango, “She just really missed her dad.”

The Hellion sucked in a breath and his eyes went wide. ‘Dad’ had a great ring to it. But at the same time, a little part of him would rather be called ‘Affá’.
Correction: a big part of him.

“Dad?”

“Yes, dad! I’ve been wanting to call you that for the past month,” Jimmy shrugged, “Speaking of dad, what are we gonna be called? We do have to consider this, because we are, unfortunately, two men.”

Tango cleared his throat, “Yes, well, what do you wanna be called?”

“I wanna be papa or something. I think dad suits you, though,” the canary spoke, walking over to the shulker boxes they had yet to unpack.

The avian sat down, opening the shulkers and dumping them out completely. Tango sighed, sitting down on their bed and watching him. The Hellion furrowed his brows. He didn’t exactly want to be called dad. While he didn’t hate it; he didn’t love it. And the premise of being called something more familiar, something in his native tongue, was just too tempting. It was too sweet of a prospect to lose.

He looked down to the floor and mumbled, “I was thinking… about uhm… being called Affá. It kinda means ‘dad’ in Hellspeak.”

Jim looked up from the pile of baby clothes that surrounded him, starry eyed. He looked amazed. Sucking in a breath, he nodded quickly, “Yes! I mean, well, I do like that. It would be nicer, wouldn’t it? Much easier to distinguish us.”

The avian looked to the floor and softly whispered to himself, “Affá and papa…”

“Sounds nice, right?” Tango added, very nervously, almost like he was searching for that validation.

Jim tore his eyes from the floor and grinned from ear to ear, “Yea, it does.”

The canary emptied out another shulker box of plushies Flicker didn’t even use and other teething toys that she most definitely did. Tango got a sense of gratification seeing his baby’s stuff out of boxes.

…He also noticed that he’s enjoyed calling Flicker his baby. His daughter. His family. And suddenly, the Hellion got a strong urge to maybe, just maybe, begin thinking about putting a ring on Jim’s finger. But he’s made plenty of big decisions lately, and he wasn’t exactly ready for something like that yet.

Keyword: Yet.

Though, he apparently hadn’t escaped his body’s physical reaction to the thought of properly settling down, because Jim didn’t miss the blush on his face. The avian smirked one of those cheeky, mischievous smirks and sauntered over from the pile of baby clothes and toys.

“Whatcha blushin’ at, love?” He pressed, his eyebrow cocked and his posture relaxed. He stood over the Hellion with devious intent and Tango rolled his eyes.

“Don’t worry about it,” he mumbled, playfully pushing on the canary’s chest, “I was just thinking about you.”

“Oh? Well, I’m glad you think of me so positively,” Jim chuckled, seemingly remembering something, and going over to the closet and digging through the Hellion’s clothes. Tango raised his eyebrows, standing up and propping Flick on his hip.

“Yea, well, you’re kinda my boyfriend, so it’s not exactly shocking,” the Hellion mumbled, standing over the crouched avian. He ended his sentence with an inquisitory tone, hoping that Jim might pick up on it. When Tango didn’t get an answer he opted to actually ask.

While bouncing Flicker up and down on his hip, he offered another confused look as he pressed, “What are you doing?”

Jim looked equally as puzzled, like Tango should’ve known something, before his eyes shot up and he stammered, “Oh, I didn’t tell you, did I?”

“No?”

Jimmy frowned, “Sorry, okay, so uhm,”

He ran a hair through his hair and straightened his wings, “So yesterday while you were out for shulkers, Xisuma texted me that we were going to have a going away party for us. ‘Cause we were gonna stay in Hub for a while looking for a place to put Flick. And even though they didn’t say it, I think it was partly for Flick, too.”

Tango nodded, unconsciously holding onto his baby just a little tighter, “Okay… did you tell them we were keeping her?”

“Right, well,” the canary answered, “I didn’t.”

The Hellion paused, hearing Flicker whine. He dug through his pocket to find her plush. He frowned when he couldn’t find it. It was probably in the bed, haven fallen out while he fell back asleep.

“Why?” He further questioned, walking over to the bed and rummaging through the sheets.

The avian shrugged, “I don’t know… I didn’t know what you wanted to do about that. I mean, we could, if you want to, reveal it at the party?”

“Why would I do that? Make people go out of their way to a going away party with no purpose?” The Hellion pressed, finding the Jellie wrapped in their blankets. He handed the little thing to Flick and she happily took it.

“Because!” Jim exclaimed, “We could turn it into a… like… ‘staying’ party, or something. I don’t know! I just forgot to check in with you!”

“Right.”

“I don’t know! Look, if you don’t want to, that’s okay. We can just text him that plans have changed,” Jimmy whispered, turning on his communicator to supposedly text Xisuma before his face dropped, “Ah, I see.”

“What?” The Hellion asked, getting a tad nervous at the avian’s tone.

“Well, okay, don’t freak out, but like, everyone is already there. At the rift at Grian’s base,” the canary whispered, “And X was wondering when we were gonna get there.”

Tango deadpanned, “Seriously? We’re going?”

“Well… everyone is already there! And… well… I don’t know! Seriously, Tango, I do mean it when I say that we do not have to go. Alright? It’s fine if you don’t want to, honestly,” Jimmy whispered, walking back over to the two and placing a peck on his lips.

Well, the canary was right. He didn’t have to do anything. Tango could just message the public chat that Flicker was staying. It’d be easier. It would be…

Easier

Tango didn’t really want easier anymore. Because what was easier wasn’t always what was right. He knew that now. So, was this a situation where he should go out of his comfort zone? He didn’t know.

“I’m not… opposed to going,” Tango mumbled, offering up his tail to Flicker. She grasped it in her tiny hands, looking at the flame with great curiosity. Grabbing and letting go.

“Oh? Really?” He spoke, almost surprised, “I mean, if that’s how you wanna announce the news, I’m okay with it, too.”

“I… alright. We’ll go. Let’s get ready, and let’s head out. So we can tell everyone about our baby.”

Jim clapped his hands together at the words ‘our baby’ and this big ol’ smile broke out onto his face, “Okay! Then it’s a date!”

Tango clicked his tongue and turned to the bed to make a comfy little nest to put the baby in. Just something secure to keep her in so she wouldn’t roll off the bed or be at risk of being stepped on while he and Jimmy got dressed. As he rearranged the blankets with one hand, an almost naked, only in boxers, Jimmy immediately appeared right next to him.

“Oh my gosh! I cannot wait to make a nest with her! Stars, I’ve been holding back on making a nest in your bed. Sorry, it’s gonna be a mess,” the canary exclaimed, immediately assisting the Hellion with the creation of it before taking the task entirely into his hands. Tango just kinda stood off to the side and watched along with Flicker as Jim made a surprisingly nice looking, well put together little place to rest Flick in. The Hellion supposed he shouldn’t be surprised when Jimmy was literally biologically programmed to do that shit as well as he can. The avian took Flicker and set her right in the middle, making sure she wouldn’t be able to roll over.

“Jim, please, please, put some clothes on,” Tango mumbled, quickly averting his gaze when he felt his eyes start to drift.

“I am! Gimme a second. Just cause I’m too hot to handle don’t mean I need to run on your schedule!” He teased, bumping his hip against the Hellion’s.

Tango rolled his eyes, slipping off his pajama pants, leaving him just as exposed as Jim, and tossing them on the bed. He stood by his boyfriend, looking into his closet with narrowed eyes. Jimmy allowed his eyes to drift from the clothes and onto Tango’s body. The avian ogled unashamedly, eyeing up the Hellion like he was a piece of meat. Tango didn’t focus on it, instead picking out a very simple outfit with blue jeans and a graphic tee.

“Ah… no… don’t cover it up,” Jim pouted, leaning onto the Hellion’s shoulder and going limp. Tango laughed, stumbling a bit to hold Jim’s weight. The avian’s hands immediately began to wander all across his skin, tracing the divots and scars with expert precision.

Tango shook his head, placing a quick kiss on Jimmy’s lips, “I have to. They’re waiting for us at G’s portal. We’re not even going to go through it, so we’re honestly wasting their time but it’s fine. I’ll text ‘em that we’re heading over once I get my clothes on.”

“Oh alright,” the canary conceded, “I’m just not gonna allow you to wear a shirt the second we get home.”

Tango sighed dramatically as Jimmy alleviated his weight and he draped his hand across his forehead, “Oh, my boyfriend is so cruel to me.”

“Oh, give me a break,” Jim replied, earning a faux-annoyed glare.

Tango slipped on the shirt and pulled up his pants, buttoning them. Quickly nabbing his communicator from his side table, he quickly texted X that they’d be there soon.

He felt a little bad that he wasn’t telling them the truth. They were probably mourning Flick’s loss like he and Jim were less than 24 hours ago. It felt almost… wrong to keep them in the dark.

But at the same time, keeping a baby was a big deal. Tango knew that. Jimmy knew that. Everyone knew that. So, if the two men had decided to just… send out a text, it would seem a bit harsh, no? These people, his friends, they were an important part of his life, and he wanted them to be an important part of her life. Just announcing it would be unfair to them. After all, they were his village. Flicker might be his baby, but she was truly all of theirs. He wouldn’t have considered keeping her without them.

They deserved to hear this news face to face. They deserved an in-person invite to be apart of Tango and Jimmy’s new family.

Tango took in a deep breath. Everything was going to be okay. They had this. Together.

A sharp gasp could be heard to his left. Tango whirled around his head to be met with an ecstatic face. Jimmy looked like he was about to explode. “Oh my gosh, do you know what I just realized?”

“No?”

“Okay, so I was thinking about what we’d do when I’d have to go back home to Empires, like with Flick ‘n stuff, but then I remembered Hermes!” Jim exclaimed, half naked with only a pair of black jeans on.

“Hermes…?” Tango inquired, walking over to the shoe rack in his closet to get some boots.

Jimmy gasped, almost offended, “Tango, you know Hermes! He’s Joel’s and Sausage’s son!”

The Hellion looked up from the shoe rack, “What? How’s that even-? What about Lizzie?”

“I’m not getting into lore magic right now,” Jimmy mumbled.

“What are you-?” Tango’s quiet protest was cut off.

“But I just remembered that Hermes existed! And Flicker exists too! And they can be friends!” Jim practically squealed, scampering over to Flicker’s cozy little nook on the bed and picking her up. He twirled around, holding her close to his bare chest.

“Well, let’s hope they’re friends. By the way, you should take your shirt off more. Flick seems to like it,” Tango mentioned, plopping himself on the edge of the bed to slip on his boots.

“What? Ew,” Jimmy said, scrunching his face.

The Hellion looked up, “She likes skin to skin, Jim. Stop being weird.”

“Skin to skin? She’s not a newborn, Tango,” the canary giggled, placing her back in the nest of blankets.

“Oh, she’s not?” Tango grinned, “Well, one month ago, you suggested I give her skin to skin contact because it was ‘healthy’ just so you could get a peak at my chest, you dingus.”

“And it turns out she actually likes it,” the Hellion added on.

“Well,” the canary spoke, slipping on a plain white shirt, “I guess we’ll be the sexy gay dads who never wear shirts.”

“There’s no way that’s actually a stereotype,” Tango rebutted, standing up and pulling the baby into his arms.

The avian shrugged, putting on a simple oversized blue button up, “You’d be surprised.”

“Whatever,” Tango laughed, tossing his boyfriend a pair of converse, “Let me get my elytra.”

Jim paused, shoes in hand, eyes wide. He sucked in a breath. The Hellion turned around to face him with a confused look. They stared at each other silently for a minute before Jim finally spoke up, “Are you sure?”

“About flying? Why wouldn’t we-?” Tango cut himself off. Right. He remembered. The Hellion cleared his throat, “Yea, uhm… Jim, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have- I know…”

The Hellion couldn’t find the right words to articulate how he felt. He was sorry, but at the time, there wasn’t any other logical reason in his mind. And it’s not like he died permanently, but he still chose to fall. It was messy.

“If you don’t want us to fly, that’s fine. It’ll just take extra time, but that’s okay. We could go by nether roof travel?” Tango offered, stepping closer and offering Jim his free hand. Flicker’s eyes danced between the two men curiously.

The canary stammered, eyes now glued to the floor, “I… I don’t want to take too much time, it’s just… I really didn’t like seeing you… die the other day. The message… it… I rushed home when I saw it. I picked Flicker up from Gem right after, my whole day was put to a halt. I found you passed out in the bathroom. You were covered in vomit, you were shivering, and not even mentioning that you were clearly sobbing even within your dreams.”

Jimmy looked up, obvious tears peaking in the corners of his eyes, “I was really scared.”

The Hellion frowned, walking towards the avian and pulling him into a hug. Flick grabbed at the buttons on Jim’s shirt, but he didn’t mind. He was too focused on letting out some of the fear he felt.

“Why didn’t you tell me, love?” Tango asked, pressing his forehead against the canary’s, “You should’ve told me yesterday when we were talking.”

“I didn’t want to make it about me- you were talking about your childhood ‘n stuff,” Jim sniffed, wiping away some stray tears.

Tango sighed, and held the canary’s face with one hand, “Jim, please, don’t keep that stuff from me. I don’t… I don’t want to be a burden for you. I promised you that I would tell you stuff, but I should’ve made you promise me.”

“So, Jim,” He continued after pausing, “Promise me, that of something upsets you or bothers you, just tell me.”

The canary let out a wet laugh, “Okay, I promise.”

“Good. Now, how’re we going to get there?” the Hellion asked, stepping away to let the avian slip on his converse.

The canary sighed, straightening his back, “Let’s fly.”

“What-? I though you said-“

“No, I need to let you do this. Or else it’s never gonna leave my mind,” Jim sighed, summoning the baby harness and beginning to clip it around his waist and wings, “I’m taking Flick. I want to trust you with this.”

Jimmy had never looked so serious, and… that was really hot. Usually it was himwould come around, and it wasn’t a maybe. It was an ‘eventually’.

Tango liked that.

—

Tango stood on the edge of the very top of his citadel. Jim stood right next to him. Flicker had on a protective hat to keep her warm. The avian said that he was going to go first, and Tango’s cue to start flying was to drop when Jim began to glide. All he could think of was the day of the party. All he could think of was how desperately he wanted to fall. All he wanted was to hit the ground, knowing he could get that indulgent feeling of death without actually dying.

The avian braced Flick’s head and neck as he leaped off and gave himself some momentum before opening his wings and soaring back up. Jimmy looked so nervous before he jumped. And the Hellion had never felt more guilty. When he did fall, when he chose to not fly, it was all in his own self interest. If Tango could go back to that day, he’d tell himself to not fall. Not to drop. Not to willingly hit the ground.

Because the dread, the worry, the anxiety, he inflicted on someone he swore he’d keep safe from any kind of harm was almost too much for him. At the same time, however, he’d never felt more pride in someone other than right at this moment. Because despite that fear, Jimmy still chose to trust him. He still chose to fly in the first place, to take Flicker with him, and to dive first. Tango prayed that he could one day be worth that amount of trust.

And Tango prayed to… he wasn’t sure. He remembered when he purposefully prayed to Ryea, and he remembered times when he prayed to Her on instinct. Maybe… maybe one day he’d find Her again. But, at the same time, maybe not.

Who knows?

Because all he knew now was that Jim had begun to glide. It was his turn. And he was nervous. He knew that he wasn’t going to, but he was terrified that he’d still want to.

His ankles forced him to lean forward. Time slowed down, and just like that, he was falling.

The world seemed to stare at him intensely. The air held its breath. The trees grabbed at each other’s branches for support. Tango stared at the icy ground so far below. If he didn’t open his elytra, it would hurt. He knew just how many times he’d gone to fly off of this precipice and felt like finding out how much it would sting.

Falling had always been so comfortable. It was so free, but at the same time, air compressed him on all sides. He felt like he was being squeezed by the pressure. His heart raced. His body tensed. He anticipated the dark, creeping urge to completely take over. Slithering up his spine and slipping into his nervous system. He braced for the want to fall and never fly.

But it never came. Seconds stretched eternally, and for some reason, he didn’t want to fall. It’s not that he was uncomfortable, it was rather, he didn’t care. The strangest thing was that the dark urge wasn’t necessarily gone. It just didn’t creep like it used to. He didn’t need to look for glints of light in the snow. He didn’t need to think about everyone’s worried faces. He didn’t need to think about the adverse reaction to pain.

No.

He just needed to know that his family was right there with him, even if he couldn’t see them. Even if all he could see was snowy ground hundreds of feet below him. He knew. He knew that he had something worth flying for. He had something worth bracing the shock of the wind resistance.

Because he had, in his current possession, something amazing.

So the Hellion opened his elytra, braced for the wind, and began to fly.

He used a rocket to catch up to his boyfriend. Whizzing across the sky, he found himself side by side with the love of his life. Jimmy smiled with a quivering lip as his chest contracted into a sob, though those tears quickly turned to ice in the below freezing air. Flying side by side for once felt nice. He didn’t feel alone or left behind.

The Hellion mouthed a silent ‘Thank You’ and the canary nodded.

This road block had been cleared, and the most wonderful fact was that they did it as a team. Tango realized life was actually easier when you weren’t alone.

Who knew?

The cave entrance to Grian’s base was coming into view. It wasn’t a long flight, not at all. Flicker seemed to be decently enjoying things, though she was never all too keen on flying anyways. She didn’t like the cold that much, which only affirmed to Tango that he really needed to settle in a warmer place for next season. And make a safer game for kids.

The Hellion hadn’t been as nervous as he was now. He supposed he hadn’t really thought about having to declare he was now a father in front of his friends. At the same time, he felt like this was the right call. It was wrong to… run away and just send a message in the chat. He had to do this. For himself.

He didn’t know what he’d say, or how he’d say it, but he knew that it would work out. He just hoped his hermits were as keen on keeping Flicker as he was. Because now all of these paranoid thoughts were swirling in his head, and he was growing more worried by the second.

He swooped through the cave entrance and circled with Jim towards the floor. The glistening rift allowed for shimmering shapes and patterns to dance on the stony ground. His hermits all stood around in a large fractured circle. All stood with their own little groups of closest friends; all looked just as anxious.

He wondered if they wanted a new addition. Maybe, they’d all gotten to the age where settling down didn’t seem too bad. And they all had their village, so what was stopping them? They had each other. So maybe they were hurt that Tango couldn’t see that. Or at least, ‘used to not be able to see that’.

Because now it was clear as day.

Even still, he couldn’t help the looming thoughts of ‘what if’. He’d experienced so many ‘what ifs’ in his head. Those ‘what ifs’ were probably the reason he hid for so long. Even now, even with all of his foresight, he still couldn’t help but think ‘what if?’.

But he would have to do this either way. So as his feet hit the ground, he resolved himself. He took in a deep breath.

Jim landed right after, taking off Flicker’s little hat and stuffing it into his pocket. The avian slipped Flick out of her carrier and unbuckled it around his waist and wings. The room was cold with this tension. Everyone looked like they wanted to hold Tango by the shoulders and shake him relentlessly for trying to ‘get rid of her’.

But one of the best things about knowing something that others didn’t, was seeing how they acted without the awareness.

Tango’s eyes scraped over every individual. Grian, Scar, Cub, Impulse, and Zedaph were in one corner. Gem, Pearl, and False were in another. Joe and Cleo stood among themselves. XB, Beef, Doc, and Ren were huddled in another corner. And right in front of the rift was Keralis and Xisuma, with Bdubs off to the side of them rattling off about one of his builds.

Joe Hills was staring at the Hellion. Not with daggers, but with pleading, begging eyes.

The admin looked up and his gaze darkened behind his visor. Though, whatever negative feelings he had, he shoved down. For how visibly emotional Xisuma was, it was almost shocking to see him neutralize his face like that. This professional demeanor Tango had never seen before muffled any emotional tension.

“Right, Tango and Jim, I’ve got here just some extra credits from Hub to use. Just some pocket change for the smaller stuff, any other larger expense should come out of the server bank account,” He spoke, handing the Hellion a fat wad of cash. The guilt was immediate. Yea… Tango was giving this back the second after he broke the news.

Tango was about to speak when X continued, “We wanted to come together and bid you farewell before you go off into Hub for a while. Not everyone had the time to come and see you two, but know that we’re supporting you.”

He paused, his face breaking into a nervous glance, like there was so much he wanted to say. There probably was.

“Whatever you two would have chosen,” he whispered, “We would have supported you one hundred percent. Just… be safe out there.”

Silence fell over the group.

This was it; this was his chance. This was how he was going to tell his friends that he was a father now. He was going to be a… an Affá. He just hoped they wanted to be apart of her life.

“Tango would like to say something,” Jim butted in, nudging the Hellion towards the center, “before we go.”

He looked back, shooting the avian a ‘the hell?’ glare. Jimmy just nodded, holding their daughter. Their daughter. Tango stared at his baby and sighed, walking over to pick her up and hold her in his arms. If he was going to make this little speech, he wanted her to be included.

It was only fair.

The hermits seemed to be on bated breath, each soul just as invested in what Tango could possibly have to say. The Hellion didn’t even know the answer to that question. So, as he stared out into the small crowd of his closest friends, his only friends, his family, he simply allowed himself to speak. No need for too much thought, right?

“Around ten years ago, maybe just under that, I came to Hermitcraft. There wasn’t any reason for the Hermits to accept me, but they did. Many Hermits came and went, but a few selection stayed season by season. Most of you were among those Hermits.

I tried really hard to be like you guys. I learned English so I wouldn’t have to speak my native language, I got rid of my accent completely, and I eradicated many of my habits and traditions. There was so much about me I kept from all of you because I thought you guys would be better off not knowing.

But, I think after all of what we’ve been through, it’s about time I begin telling you the stories I’ve had stored away. I mean, you guys didn’t even know the story of how I found a rift in a random nook in the netherrack until about a month ago. That’s literally how I came to Hermitcraft! And everyday since then has been a journey off… many emotions and memories.

These stories won’t come all at once. But, I’ll one day tell you all about the time I stole from a group of Hellions and ran for what felt like miles before tumbling off of a cliff. Or about the time that I almost died and a nether Warlord saved me from dehydration and starvation. Or the time when I first met a human who didn’t speak any Hellspeak besides words meant to insult me. Or many, many more times like those.

All of this to say, I want to be better. And I want to try. There are reasons I kept this stuff from you, but that’s not the point of why I’m taking,” Tango said, voice echoing off of the cavernous chamber.

Xisuma’s eyes were wide, his shoulders tense, his fists clenched in shock as his arms held them in the air. He looked like he was bracing for the end of the world, because what hermit in their right mind would ever imagine Tango of all people opening up?

Keralis’ usually open and expressive eyes stretched to a size he’d never seen before. Everyone couldn’t peel their gaze away from the infernal humanoid. Because, well, how could they?

Joe’s mouth hung agape. The first part of the Hellion’s little speech was mainly for him. Because he deserved it. It was Joe who opened his eyes. It was Joe who gave him the tough love he deserved. It was Joe practically who held him by the shoulders and shook him asking ‘what are you thinking?!’

So as he continued, he looked the human right in the eyes, “I’ve had a very long talk with Jim. Like- a seven hour long talk. And we’ve come to the decision that…”

He paused, and looked at his boyfriend. Jimmy had these big, proud tears threatening to spill down his face. Even with Joe, Tango could’ve never done any of this without his amazing canary.

“Me and him want to keep Flicker. As our daughter.”

The world seemed to stop for the second time that day. But instead of it only stopping in Tango’s head, it felt like it stopped for real. Ren already had streams of tears down his face. Impulse and Zed looked like they were actively holding themselves back from tackling the Hellion right then and there out of happiness. Everyone was wide-eyed and speechless.

Besides for…

“Thank goodness,” a very familiar British voice chimed in, “I was really starting to worry you’d give her up!”

Hopping from the top of the cave entrance and floating down onto the stony floor was a very familiar, very welcome, mustached man. If everyone was stunned at Tango’s words, they were even more stunned at the sudden appearance of their missing buddy.

Well, everyone besides Grian, who let out a guttural sob before bolting to his best friend’s side. The macaw hugged the human tightly, burying his face into the much taller man’s chest. Mumbo exhaled happily, patting the top of G’s back.

“I missed you, bud. I’m sorry,” he whispered, earning a frustrated chirp from the sandy blonde man.

Grian grumbled, “You should be sorry, you idiot. I was worried sick.”

Mumbo looked up, smiling softly at the new dads, “You two are gonna do great, by the way. She already loves you. I mean, look at her.”

Keralis stepped forward, hand hesitating toward the direction of Tango, “Are you seriously going to keep her?”

“Like actually?” Impulse chimed in, hands seemingly shaking.

Tango nodded, holding her closer to his chest, “Yea, she’s mine. Ours. And if you guys wouldn’t mind, I’d love for you to be apart of her life.”

Zedaph basically sighed in relief, “Oh my gosh, I’ve never been told better news.”

“Of course we want to be apart of her life,” X exasperated, “Why wouldn’t any of us want that?”

Tango shrugged, “I don’t know. Babies are… a lot.”

“You’re a lot!” Impulse cried frustratedly and defiantly, not even bothering to hold back his bawling. Tango smiled, almost prompting to walk over and comfort the poor man before another voice piped up.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Scar began, “I’m confused.”

“I’m keeping her,” the Hellion reiterated, “Me and Jimmy are dads.”

The vex gave a confuse pout, crossing his arms as he used all three of his brain cells to think, “But… you said you were giving her away?”

“Change of plans!” Tango exclaimed, placing a celebratory kiss onto Flicker’s cheek, “She’s staying.”

The baby looked like she, too, was shocked. But for a different reason. See, Tango had never kissed her before. Not once. Because a part of him was still scared of those emotional attachments.

And of all the things that she wanted, it looked like she wanted his love specifically. He’d gotten that love from Jim, and in different ways the rest of the hermits, but never Tango. Maybe that kiss was the first bit of love she ever received from her own species.

Maybe that’s why her hair exploded into a great inferno for the very first time.

See, Hellion babies usually get the ability to hold flame on their head when they’re about 3-5 months old. It’s when their scalp develops fire resistance.

And that fire usually only occurs with intense emotions. It doesn’t have to be negative, but for the longest time, Tango kind of assumed he’d never be that happy. Hellions don’t usually ignite under good circumstances.

But it didn’t make sense for Flicker to be so upset she’s engrossed in flames. No, she was just that much more happy, like it was the most important thing in her tiny little life.

Flicker’s head was covered in ecstatic flames that shined three times as bright as the angry ones. Xisuma looked worried, and stepped forward in an attempt to maybe help, but Jim held his shoulder. The avian mumbled something to the admin, and while Tango couldn’t hear it, he saw the way the canary’s lips moved.

Jim said, “It’s not always a bad thing when that happens.”

Mumbo clapped his hands, “Well, as much as I’d like to keep this party going, I’ve got a much overdue vacation to attend to. Though, if it makes you lot feel better, I’ll be back much sooner than originally anticipated. I already had plenty of time off here in Hermitcraft.”

The human wormed his way out of Grian’s hold, and the avian sighed dramatically, earning an affectionate shoulder pat from Scar as Cub attempted to verbally console the parrot. Although G looked upset, it was clear he knew this was inevitable. It was clear that he realized it was selfish for him to want Mumbo to stay.

“I’ll be back soon,” the human cheered, stepping near the rift, “And I’ll bring back souvenirs! Souvenirs and a new fervor for building. I already have plenty of ideas for season 10! I’m feeling rather inspired!”

Seeing Mumbo’s form fizzle into purple swirls and mist, Tango couldn’t help but feel at peace. Yea, this was right. All of this. His friends stood around, dealing with the situation lin their own ways. They’d eventually come around and congratulate him and Jim before flying back off to their bases. He knew that things would get even more mundane as the days, months, years went on.

But that was the thing about the phrase ‘one day’, wasn’t it?

No matter what, you could count on it happening eventually. It was never a doubt he’d tell his stories. It was never a doubt he’d get even better at being a parent. One day, he’d hold Flicker in his arms when she was old and he was older.

One day, he’d be able to age with Jim as Flick made a name for herself. And the Hellion just knew she’d be special.

He just knew it. That’s why he chose her name to be the way it was.

Though, it was also a father’s intuition.

A familiar hand was placed on his waist, and he looked over to see the love of his life. Jimmy looked more proud than ever. Tango had given them the family they dreamed of. Maybe not in the way they’d hoped, but in the way they deserved.

Flicker was their baby girl. And nothing would change that.

“Tango?”

“Hm?” Tango replied, eyes still locked onto the canary’s form even as Jim looked out into the crowd of hermits.

“When we get home after this,” he began, face calm and unchanging, “I’m scheduling you a therapy appointment.”

“What? Why?” The Hellion yelped, earning a giddy laugh from Flicker.

“Look, I’m proud of what you have done,” he said, with a sarcastic inflection, but dead serious tone, “but I’m two hundred percent sure a therapist would do you wonders.”

“But-“

“Uh-uh, not an option,” the canary stated, making his word final.

The Hellion could fight this all he wanted, but there wasn’t much point. So, he just let out a small breath and nodded, “Alright, whatever boyfriend wants, boyfriend gets.”

Jimmy smiled, leaning his head onto the top of Tango’s, “Thanks, love.”

“Anything for you,” Tango said.

And he meant it. Every single word.

TangoTek, a Hellion born in the nether, had his family. He had his village. He had his boyfriend. He had his baby. He had more than he could ever ask for.

Out of all the things this world had to offer, out of all the beauty, he was so grateful he could have just a tiny sliver of that precious love.

One day, Tango hoped that the nether would be able to find that beauty, too.

Flicker looked up at him, hands grabbing at his face as she smiled. Her tail swished happily back and forth as her hair stayed a steady pyre. The tiny dot in the middle of her head shone like the brightest magma.

She was his baby girl.

Chapter Text

SolidarityGaming: Hey babe, me and Mayor will be back in like an hour-hour & a half, k?

Tango sighed, running a hand through his graying hair and stretching his back. He sent his husband a quick thumbs up in response followed by a heart. The Hellion placed his phone on his desk and leaned back in his chair. Clicking his tongue, he kicked his feet and spun around in circles. Staring up at the ceiling, he gnawed on the inside of his cheek and thought.

What on earth was he going to do this season? The little CEO bit he did for the first few months was fun. He finally strayed from his usual antique architecture, and built a little base for his family in something a bit more modern. Now, He needed a big redstone project, but he didn’t know what. He’d made plenty of Hungry Hermits; having just finished the fourth installment last season, and honestly he was tired of working with food. Jimmy was always more of a cook, anyways.

And he’d made plenty of other miscellaneous games that weren’t as memorable as some of his others. Though, if there was one game he made that his friends talked about a lot, it was Decked Out.

He had stopped at two, because that’s when Flicker came around and it was unsafe to work with such mobs with a baby. Even when she got older, he was still hesitant, being the protective parent he was. When she was around the age she could hold her own perfectly fine, around the age when she began using an elytra unsupervised, that was when Mayor came into their lives.

So, he’d never gotten the chance to make another. A ‘Decked Out 3’ so to speak. But now, Flick was 20 years old and currently living in Hub. Mayor was 7, and by now, Tango wasn’t as worried or as paranoid as he used to be. He could, realistically, make another Decked Out. It would be fun to make one for old times sake. Though, he was definitely not as young as he used to be, so he might have to scale it down. He could never make another thing like the citadel ever again. Not with kids, anyway.

He stopped spinning, sticking his foot down onto the wood floor and squeaking to a halt, leaning forward and picking his favorite pen from his pencil cup. He picked up his notebook from a small stack of papers. He flipped through it’s pages filled with build ideas and stopped on the next clean page. He tapped the tip of his pen against the oak as he bit his lip.

What would be a cool Decked Out place? The first decked out was cool, but really only on the inside. The second he was set to push his building skills to the limit, and oh boy did he. But the entire project was set back a little when he became a dad.

So… what would he build this season if he even did Decked Out 3? What was a spooky place with ambiance? Another castle? Haunted manor? Graveyard? He remembered that he once wanted to make a bayou theme. Or at least a super creepy cabin in a swamp.

He sketched out the rough shape of a rickety cabin. He drew rotting wood and fire flies all around. Around it, he drew some trees, their roots extending into the water. He supposed they looked a bit like mangroves. In front of the house he sketched the rough shape of a boat and added a small note ‘Hermits arrive by boat?’

It was so familiar how he felt himself get entranced with the process of creation. He remembered how much he loved creating scary games for his friends to play and freak out over.

The bayou theme wasn’t a suggestion, no, it was the plan. Because he realized how great of an idea it was. Think about it! An eerie swamp with a rickety shack over the water. All of the mobs he could put in there… He’d have to get Joe for some help with this project.

While furiously scribbling down notes, his office door opened. He didn’t particularly bother looking up, as he simply assumed that Jim came back earlier than expected. He just simply waited for the other person to speak. When they didn’t, he furrowed his brow, tilting his head up to show he was listening.

After a few more beats of silence, there was a small amused huff and a shifting of clothes.

“Aue, Affá,” a warm, lighter voice said in Hellspeak.

Tango absentmindedly replied, “Aue, crossan.”

Glancing up, he saw that it was Flicker.

…

Wait- Flicker?!

His head snapped up, and he stood. There she was, leaning on the doorway. Yellow, curly hair. Soft smile on her lips. Long, slender tail curling and uncurling periodically. And, unfortunately for Tango, a solid three inches of height more than her father.

Tango was so confused. She didn’t say she was coming back home today. What’s with the surprise? He didn’t know, but what he did know was that he could honestly care less. He hadn’t seen his daughter in two months, and he just wanted to hold her.

He blurted out, smiling, “Flick?! Terk so naah? What in the hells? What are you doing here?”

He walked over and gave her a big hug and they exchanged a series of clicks to each other. She laughed, burying her head into his shoulder and accepting a peck to her forehead. They both stood here for a moment, just holding each other tightly. Pulling away, Tango guided Flick over to one of the chairs on the opposite side of the desk. She sat down, and he took his own chair facing her.

“So, how have you been?” The Hellion asked, propping back and observing her fondly.

She shrugged, “Oh, I’ve been good. Just livin’ in Hub.”

“Yea,” Tango trailed off awkwardly, trying to think of something to talk about, “Got moved to bi-monthly therapy appointments.”

“Really?” She asked, vaguely interested, but more proud than anything.

“Yep! I’m doin’ good now,” the Hellion bragged, crossing his arms and dramatically running a hand through his hair.

“That’s great, Affá,” she laughed, “I’m glad.”

There was a bout of silence. Staring back down at the notebook, Flicker followed his gaze. She stared at it with a puzzled expression, looking back and forth between it and the Hellion’s face. She snorted, leaning forward and propping her elbows on the wooden surface.

“So what are you working on that’s so interesting you ignored your own daughter?” She questioned, her tail flicking back and forth mischievously.

“Oh, I was just thinking about making another Decked Out,” Tango explained, offering the girl his notebook. She looked over it and hummed.

“Decked out?” Flicker chirped, glancing up from the scrawled notes and sketched cabins in bayous.

The Hellion scratched the back of his neck, “Yea, it’s this little game I programmed way back when you were a baby. Haven’t touched it since.”

“Why?” She cocked her head to the side.

“‘Cause you were a kid, and Decked Out ain’t exactly kid friendly,” he elaborated, taking in her contemplative expression.

She looked around his office, probably thinking of something. She might not have been Tango’s by blood, but she definitely had his tendency to think. Her brain never turned off. But unlike him, she used her brain in ways that Tango never could. She worked well with people, being the extrovert she was, which landed her in her line of work.

He and his daughter were incredibly different from each other, but that didn’t stop them from getting along any less. And from the day she said her first word, which was ‘no’, he knew she’d never be afraid to speak her mind. Which, once again, landed her in her line of work.

So when she turned back to face her father, he wasn’t surprised at her inquisitive frown.

“Maybell is still a kid,” She pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, yea, but-“ But before Tango could elaborate, she cut him off.

“Speaking of Maybell, where is he? And also where’s dad? I couldn’t find them. The house has never been so quiet.”

“Ah,” he sighed, “he and dad went to Hub to get him ‘professionally preened’”

Flicker narrowed her eyes incredulously, “Professionally preened? I can preen him professionally! Why did dad take him?”

“I’m not sure, but it’s an avian thing,” Tango shrugged, picking up a mug of old coffee and taking a sip. It was disgusting, given it was black and cold, but he drank it anyway. Though, he wasn’t keen on wasting anything.

“Yea… but like… why?” Flick pressed further, toying with the ends of her hair.

“What do you mean?” Tango asked, furrowing his brows.

She clarified, “Maybell only has downy. Not much to preen.”

“Ah, yes, you haven’t been here. Gosh, it’s been so strange with you in Hub all of the time. Oh, my girl’s growing up,” the Hellion sighed dramatically, draping his hand over his forehead and sighing loudly. Flicker laughed, rolling her eyes and nudging the desk with her knee.

“Affá, just tell me,” she groaned, equally as dramatic, but equally as unserious.

“Gosh, so ungrateful,” he tutted, toying with his claws calmly before sitting back up, “Right, so Mayor has been shedding his downy like crazy. I don’t know if you’ve seen the state of the house.”

“Oh I have. I was wondering what that fluffy stuff was,” she replied, looking rather amused more than anything.

“Right, well, he’s at that age where his wings aren’t cute and fluffy, nor are they pretty and mature,” Tango continued, waving his hands in the air as he explained, “They’re kinda… ratty right now. Which dad told me was normal, but he’s feeling a bit…”

“A bit?”

“Self-conscious,” he answered.

Flicker frowned, nose scrunching slightly at the news, “Aw… are his wings not the color he wanted or something? He always said he didn’t want brown wings.”

“Nah, he’s a bluejay. He’s over the moon,” the Hellion responded, earning a swift click of surprise from the girl.

“Wait, wait, wait- he’s a bluejay?! I swore he’d be a sparrow!” She exclaimed, standing up from her chair in her surprise.

Tango shook his head, “Right, well, papa thought he’d be a dove. I really didn’t care, I just wanted his wings to grow.”

Personally, Tango actually thought he’d be a bird of prey or something. Given that both of Mayor’s bio parents had passed, the Hellion theorized that they had more dangerous jobs and that’s what had killed them. Of course, Mayor wasn’t always interested in knowing much about his bio parents, for some reason. So, even if they wanted to know, he didn’t want to bother getting tested or attempt to find his parent’s medical records.

Jim was once desperate to fine those records, even with their son’s disapproval because his wings weren’t growing as they should. It wasn’t like a birth defect, or anything, rather Mayor’s wings were on the more petite side. Jimmy had freaked out, and being the kind of parent he was, tried to search to the ends of the earth for answers. Unfortunately, whatever documentation of the parent’s existence there was, clearly didn’t exist anymore.

Mayor always said that his species didn’t really matter, as long as his wings weren’t brown.

“Wait, are his wings okay?” Flick asked, perking up.

He nodded, waving his hands in an attempt to help negate her concern, “I’m sure. They’re just a bit small, aren’t they?”

“But can he fly?” she questioned further, her brows knitting. She walked over to a nearby bookshelf as she spoke, looking at the spines of the old, leather bound books. Occasionally glancing at her father, he noted that she looked a bit nervous for his answer.

“Not right now, on account of his downy isn’t all gone, but he should be fine,” the Hellion answered, smiling softly at her concern.

Tango couldn’t help but feel prideful over how concerned she was. Stars… she was such a good sister. She always had been. And Mayor looked up to her more than anything. She was his idol.

“I hope. Are his wings pretty?” She asked, picking up a small glass paperweight and looking at the design inside.

“They,” the Hellion trailed off, clearing his throat, “look good beside the downy covering them.”

“Is the downy really that bad?” she laughed, walking back over to the desk to pick up one of his stress balls. Flicker didn’t sit back down, instead, she just loomed over her father. “I always thought it looked cute.”

“Well, it’s not bad, it’s just the mix between normal wings and the baby wings,” Tango explained, watching Flicker sit back down and kick her feet against the floorboards. She slid on her wheels across the length of the office with ease, gently spinning around.

She called out as she spun and around, “Like a teenage phase but just for his wings!”

“Right,” the Hellion laughed, leaning back once again and watching her slide about the room, “Like a teenage phase.”

“Is it like when I started growing my fur?” She questioned, squealing to a halt.

“Kinda, yea,” Tango shrugged, smiling softly as she shuffled back over to his desk with tiny footsteps. The sound of rolling plastic wheels filled the room. She went back to stare into his notebook that remained open.

“Aw, poor guy,” she hummed, propping her head on the heel of her hand. She placed down his stress ball and started to mess with some of his other fidget toys scattered around his desk.

“Yea, just don’t comment on it if they look,” the Hellion trailed off, waving his hand in the air in a circular motion as he searched for the words, “not as you remember.”

“I’m gone for two months and my brother’s getting his wings,” Flicker sighed, picking up a desk toy. They were a cluster of tiny magnetic spheres that stuck to each other. They clinked and clacked together. She played with them with relative interest.

Tango inhaled, and exhaled a stream of words, “Well, that’s how time goes.”

Tango straightened a bit in his seat, but didn’t exactly sit up. He realized that he didn’t know why exactly Flicker was back. It wasn’t uncommon for her to visit or anything, but she’d never arrived unannounced. Thinking about it, the Hellion wasn’t sure why he hadn’t begun freaking out. He trusted that Flicker would make smart decisions, but what if she was hurt? What if her job didn’t work out? What if something went wrong and she needed to come back home?

“Speaking of which, why are you back from Hub? I don’t have an answer,” he asked, his voice purposefully cautious as to not scare her off.

“Ah… yes, well,” Flicker cleared her throat, “there is a certain nature to my visit.”

“Oh?”

“I need to tell you something,” she sighed, putting down the fidget toys.

Tango’s stomach dropped, and his mind spun. Oh Stars, what happened? Tango leaned forward, lips pressed into a line, eyes wide and brows furrowed, “Are you pregnant?”

“Affá-! No!” She exclaimed, wildly shaking her head and hands. Flick’s cheeks immediately tinted red in embarrassment and her eyes flew open.

“You have a boyfriend!” the Hellion pointed out, holding his hands up defensively.

“Not anymore! We broke up!” She groaned, burying her head in her hands. And that, Tango found, was the best news he ever could’ve gotten.

“Thank the Stars,” he smiled, his shoulders visibly relaxing.

“Affá!”

“Sorry not sorry.”

Flicker looked vaguely amused, despite her annoyed tone. Her tail swished back and forth in the air. Her eyes drifted to the walls covered in paintings Tango had done. Tango had recently gotten into art, though he wasn’t at all that good compared to someone like Bdubs. That man could paint. She shifted, her eyes never leaving the walls.

“Okay, well, can I tell you?” She finally piped up, nervously fiddling with her claws.

“You can tell me anything, bralho.” Tango smiled, seeing her visibly relax at the familiar term of endearment.

“Okay… so I want to learn more Hellspeak. Like… become fluent in it,” she sighed, tearing her eyes away from the walls and looking him dead in the eyes.

Was… that it? Really? Hellspeak? He’d be more than happy to teach her. Now no longer being as adverse to the language. Actually, he thought it was a great idea.

“Okay?” He chuckled, his tone making it clear that he was fine with it, and was honestly expecting much worse.

“Because… uhm… you know the organization I work for? Like the charity stuff?” She continued, still rather nervous.

Tango just nodded in an understanding manner, his smile soft and gentle. He’d always been so proud of her. She’d chosen an organization that specialized in Hellion affairs and welfare. She’d chosen it because she wanted to give back to her people, and since she’d never experienced the nether like most Hellions had, Flicker almost felt indebted to them.

Flick sighed, interlocking her fingers together and taking in a deep breath. After exhaling, she looked Tango in the eyes, “Well, they agreed I was the best person for a new initiative… in the nether.”

Oh. It wasn’t just Hellspeak.

An old, very old, knee jerk reaction appeared in the Hellion’s mind. He got this sudden wave of protectiveness wash over him. Tango felt panic. He felt fear. He felt his entire body refuse the very notion. His baby girl in the nether? Alone? Without him? Or anyone? Would she be alone? Where would she stay?

He didn’t know what to do, or what he should do. After all of these years, all he’s sacrificed, all he’s done to escape, she wants to go back there? Maybe this was simply the natural progression of things. Maybe because he got out, she felt as though it was her duty to go back and get the people who couldn’t leave on their own.

The Hellion took in a breath. He had to trust his daughter that she would do the right thing.

“Okay. What does that entail?” He asked, trying to keep his voice even.

Flicker controlled herself and straightened her posture, her hands still clamped, “Well, first, actually going to the nether. I’ll live there for a couple months in the major Portal City right around Hub’s nether portal. I’ll have an apartment building that I’ll live in with thirty other volunteers. And I’ll be doing charity work like running food programs, build sustainable farms for warped mushrooms, and just general infrastructure stuff. Cause… uhm…”

There was a pause. Whatever professional demeanor she had melted away into something cautious. The nervousness she tried to hide and push away came back. She didn’t let her gaze stray. She sucked in a breath and whispered, “I wanna help fix the nether.”

Flicker continued, fiddling with one of her curls, “And they, the Hellions there, aren’t really going to believe that there’s a better way if I don’t show them first. Y’know… actions speak louder than words.”

“And, also, uhm,” she shifted uncomfortably in her seat, “I wanna know if I have a Hellspeak name.”

The Hellion furrowed his brow incredulously, “What do you mean?”

“I want a name that’s easier to pronounce. My name is very… anglicized.” Flicker elaborated, sucking her teeth to make a hiss sound.

“Yes, well, when I named you, it was on purpose. I wanted to give you a more overworld-y name. I didn’t want you to have a… foreign name,” the Hellion admitted, his face growing to be a bit remorseful.

“Really?”

“Mhm,” Tango corroborated, “I was one of those huge Hellion haters back in the day. That’s why your name is in English.”

“Wait, so does my name actually have a Hellspeak translation?” Flick asked, her eyes lighting up

“Yea? I thought that was what you were asking.” He huffed, cocking his head to the side.

“No,” Flicker shook her head, “I was wondering if I could have a name that was more Hellspeak sounding. You know?”

“Ah, yes, well, your name is a translation actually,” the Hellion nodded, earning a shocked glare from his daughter. She shook her head and rubbed her temples.

“So… my name was meant to be in Hellspeak, but you didn’t let it because you didn’t like Hellions,” his daughter spoke, tone inquisitive.

“Basically,” he answered.

“So,” she paused, testing the waters, “What’s my name?”

“Well…” Tango trailed off, his heart beginning to steadily speed up in his chest.

A strange sense of dejavú came over him. A familiar phrase replayed in his mind. One that haunted him for years after it was said. One that had faded away into the back of his brain. One he’d heard when he was a child. Tango remembered her soft smile when she said it. He remembered the way she held him afterwards.

He’d imagined this moment for years, how he’d tell her. Now, it felt like it wasn’t good enough. They were sitting in his office on a random Thursday afternoon talking about mundane things. What was the flare in that? He had pictured himself telling his daughter this story on a balcony during sunset. Or while flying in the middle of the night. Or camping under the stars. Or something!

Not in a small office covered in cheesy ‘hang in there’ posters that Jim had taped up. Sat at a desk filled with one too many fidget toys. Or with amateur paintings on the walls in harsh colors. With a notebook filled with shitty little drawings of an idea Tango had.

They had talked about Mayor, Hellspeak, and her living in the nether. They were on topic, sure, but this setting wasn’t right. But it wasn’t like he could hold this information from her any longer. She was an adult now. A responsible adult. Even if deep down, he’d always see her as the baby that randomly appeared in Hermitcraft, his baby, he knew he had to let her grow.

He had to say it. He had to tell her.

“Your name is older than our ancestors,” he whispered, feeling his heart beat out of his chest. Hoping that she couldn’t hear how his voice shook with nerves. “Do you want to know why I chose it to be yours?”

“Uh… yea?” She replied with a confused smirk and a raised eyebrow. He had to internally bop her upside the head for getting smart with him, because he couldn’t physically do it. No, that would ruin the mood.

He breathed, trying to keep his unimportant thoughts away, “Well, basically for many, many generations, there was a name passed down to all first born males in our family.”

“Okay…” Flicker urged, crossing her legs and leaning back with certain intrigue.

“See, our family didn’t approve of the overworld’s occupation in the nether all of those years ago. The overworld creatures took everything from us, and the land we lived in for millennia turned foreign. So we suffered. And even though they couldn’t exactly do anything, they wanted to make a promise to all of their children,” the Hellion continued, having the sudden urge to occupy himself as he spoke. He took his notebook back, closed it and slid it into its place. He began to organize the fidget toys on his desk while he spoke.

“And what was that promise?” She pressed, earning a swift ‘stop’ hand from her father.

“Well, I’ll get to that,” he replied.

“So, all of these hundreds or so years later, I’m born. And my mother,” he paused to clear his throat (and get a hold of his tears), “your Pailá, decided to name me TangoTek.”

“Okay,” she narrowed her eyes, “What does that have to do with me?”

“Patience. Many years later, I find you. And when you first came around, I never expected that you’d stay. So, I gave you a more… human name. An English name. At the same time, I wanted to keep the tradition alive, even if you were a girl. So, I named you Flicker,” the Hellion continued, leaning over to prop his elbows on the desk, “So, all of this to say, your name in Hellspeak is ‘TangaTek’. It would just be feminine instead of masculine.”

Watching his daughter’s face go through every emotion plausible was almost amusing. She held up her hands in a defensive position as if begging him to not drop any more bombshells of information. After blinking a few times, she was able to shake herself out of the surprised trance. “Wait, you named me after yourself?”

“Kinda,” Tango shrugged.

“Why?” She beckoned, her voice teetering the life of exasperated.

The Hellion took in a deep breath, holding his hands together just a little tighter. His tail wrapped anxiously around his ankle. “Because I wanted you to be what I couldn’t.”

Flick paused, narrowing her eyes and sighing. She buried her head in her arms, and muffled out a sentence, “I’m so confused.”

“TangoTek, and by virtue, TangaTek, are the same thing,” he continued, placing a comfort sign hand on one of hers, “When translated into English, it vaguely means: ‘A flicker of hope’. I hope you can see where I got your name from,”

“Hope for what?” She questioned, tilting her head so that her left eye was just barely visible.

“Hope that things didn’t always have to be the same. That, one day, our people could live a life they didn’t have to fear. And that was the promise. It was a promise that each child had the power to turn the nether into something else. But that promise kept on being passed down because no one had been able to achieve that,” Tango frowned, gnawing on the inside of his lips with one of his sharper teeth.

“So… why did you give me the name? Or at least a version of it,” Flick inquired, lifting her head up fully.

“Because I clearly haven’t fulfilled the purpose of my name. But you,” he paused again, looking at her with a visible sense of pride, “you’re doing more than I ever had. So, I think I chose right,”

Flicker didn’t reply for a while, clearly put off by something her father had said. She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. Sucking the back of her teeth, she mumbled, “It’s not like you don’t deserve your name.”

He just chuckled a friendly, hearty laugh, “Well, I always felt like I never lived up to it. Sometimes I felt like I kinda let down my family. But that’s neither here nor there.”

He shrugged nonchalantly, earning an annoyed huff from his daughter. She bopped the side of his head, probably for downplaying his feelings or something. Tango took his ‘punishment’ of sorts for bad talking himself with open arms.

She closed her eyes and leaned back once more, her tail flicking up and landing on her lap, “Well… for someone who ‘didn’t live up to it’, you did a pretty good job. Y’know, raising me and all that.”

He supposed she was right, but he didn’t want to take her credit. The Hellion never made her do anything. The charity work was all her idea, because that’s the kind of person she was. While he could allow some kudos for his parenting, he was nowhere near perfect. Even then, he considered himself so lucky that he was blessed with someone as amazing as Flicker to have as a daughter.

So, to hear her say that, as someone Tango felt so much pride in, felt like a nice pat on the back for being her dad. All of the work he’d put in, all of the sleepless nights, all of the sacrifices that had been worth it for years; it all seemed like the bare minimum when his baby told him the words he had wanted to hear for his entire life.

He couldn’t really talk; couldn’t really give a long winded ‘thank you’ for such a meaningful gift. All he could muster to say was a very simple, “Thanks, Flick.”

They sat still for another moment, not really looking at each other. Tango was staring at his pencil cup and Flick seemed interested in the stress toys again. The girl shifted in her seat a couple of times; restless for some unknown reason.

“So… if you think about it,” Flick blurted, making Tango think she might have been uneasy leaving the conversation off like that, “we have the same nickname. Like… just in different languages.”

The Hellion stopped to think, his brows knitting, “I suppose so.”

Before Tango could continue talking, or asking questions, the sound of the front door opening shattered whatever peaceful silence remained in their wake. Flicker perked up, visibly getting excited.

He could already hear his son yell for him, “Affá, come quick! Come see my wings!”

“Hey, babe, we’re home,” Jim called right after, “I’m going to start making dinner.”

“Okay!” Tango quickly replied before holding his hand out to silently tell Flicker to wait. She was already halfway to the door when she turned and paused. Raising a beckoning eyebrow, she lolled her head to the side in a gesture to ask him ‘what are you doing?’

The Hellion cleared his throat, “Just- if they look bad, don’t say anything about them.”

Flicker rolled her eyes and smiled, “It’ll be fine, Affá, I’m sure his wings look great.”

Tango slapped his thighs and stood up. Immediately, he went to brace his back. The Hellion groaned as he hobbled over from his desk and followed Flicker out of his office. Out of the doorway, and into the hallway, the Hellion trailed his daughter, glancing down at her idly swishing tail. The passage was short and small, much unlike the passageways from the citadel from season 9.

This ‘base’, Tango supposed, was a large commercial skyscraper positioned right outside of the shopping district. He had been messing around pretending to be a snobby CEO for a couple months on the new server, but the bit had gotten stale. That’s why he was in his office this morning thinking about big projects. He and his family actually lived on the top floor, the penthouse of sorts, if a penthouse was modeled after an average suburban home.

The Hallway directly lead to the living room. Directly on the opposite wall was a doorway to their kitchen. Tango could hear his husband begin to set out the pots and pans needed for tonight’s dinner.

Mayor ran in from the kitchen, arms open wide, “Affá-!”

He immediately stopped, standing in the doorway with wide eyes. He didn’t move; didn’t speak. His sister laughed, walking forward, “Hey, Maybell, how have you been? Can I see your wings?”

“Hold up- Flick?!” Jimmy quickly yelped, and a series of clatters erupted from the kitchen as he stumbled through the doorway.

Mayor didn’t move, still staring as if Flick was a figment of his imagination. Jimmy walked past him, enveloping his daughter into a big hug. The canary sighed, pulling back just to look at her face. The avian earned a few customary clicks from the girl as she was bombarded with kisses all over her cheeks. “Oh my goodness! Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?” Jim asked, brushing some of her curls out of her face.

She laughed, leaning into his touch, “I just needed to be home for a bit. Nothing bad, just homesick.”

Jim nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “Well, I’m glad to have my baby back.”

Tango watched as Mayor walked over to tug on the hem of Flick’s shirt. She lit up, squatting down and pick up her brother. Despite him being much too big to be held, she managed it anyway; though, only for a few moments.

“Flicker, you’ll never ever guess what me and papa just did,” Mayor whispered excitedly, wobbling slightly as she planted him back onto the ground.

And while she had a perfect idea of what they just did, given that Tango had literally just told her, she just grabbed his hands and said, “No, what did you guys do?”

“We went to Hub and got my wings preened! The guy who did it was named Adrian and he was so nice. And he was a hummingbird, too! And he said that I had the prettiest bluejay wings he’d ever seen! Look!” He exclaimed, spinning around and splaying out his wings.

Tango’s eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat. He didn’t have to worry about Mayor being too self conscious anymore. They looked beautiful. Mayor had been so nervous to go outside and speak with people for the longest time because he thought his wings looked ugly. Even this morning, he didn’t want to go to Hub because then many more people would see them. Seeing his son so genuinely confident for the first time in two months almost made Tango choke up. Before he could say anything, Flicker let out an excited squeal.

“Oh my Stars, look at your wings!” She marveled, reaching down to comb her claws through the feathers. Mayor giggled, flapping his wings and shivering.

He whirled around, “Stop! That tickles!”

“Oh? It tickles? That’s such a shame, because I’m the tickle monster!” She smiled, launching her hands to the little avian’s sides. He keeled over, melting into a giggling mess. Flick kneeled on the ground right next to him and refused to relent her attack. Her tail swished happily, and her smile was blinding.

Tango stepped around them, making his way to his husband. The Hellion wrapped his arms around Jimmy’s waist and pressed a gentle kiss to the man’s cheek. The canary cupped his face and gave Tango one in return, except this time, on the lips.

“How was it?” The Hellion asked in a hushed tone. The avian shrugged, running his hands down the length of Tango’s body before stopping to grasp both of his hands, “It was good. Little hard to get Mayor in the shop, but once he was in and getting properly preened, it was good. Stylist was really good with kids, like it said on the website, and he did an even better job than I could’ve done.”

The kids were still on the floor wrestling and play fighting, though now they were bumping into the coffee table. Flicker was obviously going easy on the kid, but when he started to brag, she easily flipped him over. Mayor squealed excitedly when Flick got up and tossed him onto the couch.

“Did you know she was coming over?” Jim then asked, pulling the Hellion into the kitchen.

The kitchen was small, just a couple of counters and appliances with a small, circular dinner table with four chairs. Though, over the past year, only three of those chairs were used. The design was simple, with cream colored walls and oak cabinets and smooth granite countertops.

Tango shook his head, sitting at the small kitchen table in his regular chair and watching his husband begin to work on dinner. As well as tidy up the mess he made from scrambling out of the kitchen.

The Hellion leaned back, unable to hide his smile at the sound of his kids playing again, “No, I had no clue.”

“Why is she over?” Jim asked, his deep drown eyes suddenly growing worried, “Is she okay?”

“She’s-“ Tango was cut off.

“Is she pregnant?” The canary quickly asked, his face going pale, “Because if her god awful boyfriend got her pregnant, I swear-“

“Stars, Jim, please! She’s not! Have a little faith in her,” he exclaimed, waving his hands at the avian, though after a bit he swallowed, “Though I asked her the same question, too.”

“Did she tell you?” Jimmy questioned further, chopping the vegetables a little too quickly on the cutting board. Tango was almost scared of Jim cutting himself.

The Hellion nodded, taking in a breath, “She did. She’s uh… going to the nether for a charity project. Came by to tell me about it and how she wants to learn more Hellspeak.”

“I see,” Jim mumbled, nervously looking over, “And how do you feel about it?”

“I feel okay. I’m proud of her.” He whispered, playing with the collar of his shirt.

The canary looked vaguely surprised, “You are? You aren’t… hesitant or anything?”

“Sure, I’m hesitant. But I trust her. And I trust that she’ll do great things,” the Hellion said confidently, before turning the questions to Jim, “How do you feel about it?”

“I’m… nervous. But if you’re fine, I’m fine,” the avian sighed, seasoning and sautéing the food in a pan.

Flicker walked in with Mayor tossed over her shoulder and squealing, “Flicker, put me down!”

“Nope! You’re a feral ankle biter, so you’re getting air jail until you learn how to behave,” she snickered, spinning around and laughing along with him.

The best thing about Tango’s two children was that they were practically best friends. He’d heard plenty of horror stories about siblings absolutely despising each other, so when he proposed to Flick the prospect of getting a sibling, he was relieved when she seemed ecstatic. When they eventually finalized the adoption, Flicker had given herself the duty of being the best older sister she could.

There was nothing sweeter than having a loving family. Everyday Tango woke up grateful that there wasn’t any yelling anymore. No more hitting. None of anything like that. Not again.

Mayor was able to weasel himself out of her grasp and flopped to the ground. Sauntering over to the table, he plopped himself on the seat directly across from Tango— his usual spot at dinner. He crossed his arms and pouted, “Flicker is way too strong.”

“Yes, well, she’s thirteen years older than you, so I’d hope she was stronger,” the Hellion laughed, pulling out a chair for Flick to sit in. The same chair that had been empty for the past year. She strode over, sitting herself down and ruffling Mayor’s hair. Suddenly the table didn’t feel as empty as it used to.

Before she could make some witty joke, Jimmy, who was currently facing away from the three as he cooked, chimed in, “Heard you were goin’ to the nether, Flick.”

She stilled, her face dropping. Her ears drooped slightly, and Flicker glared at her father. “You told him?” She whispered.

“Was I not supposed to? He was asking why you were here,” Tango replied, his voice just as quiet.

“No- I just… I wanted to tell him,” Flicker sighed, threading her hands through the roots of her curly hair. She looked up and stared at the back of Jim’s head, “Yea, I’m going to the nether, papa.”

“Wait, why?” Mayor piped up but was shushed by Tango.

The canary nodded, “That’s nice. Just be safe, okay?”

“I will,” she answered, leaning back in her chair. Her brows were just slightly furrowed, but it was enough for Tango to feel bad.

Jimmy continued with dinner, the smells of spices and oil wafting through the air. Sizzling sounds and smoke wafted up. Tango couldn’t see his face, but he knew Jim was conflicted. The avian didn’t sound necessarily upset at the prospect, but he didn’t exactly sound thrilled. And the Hellion supposed that Flick would have wanted to have that conversation privately. Dad of the year award goes to TangoTek Solidarity for that stunt.

There was still something, however, that Tango had not told his husband, though. He leaned over and whispered to her, “I haven’t told him about your boyfriend if that makes you feel better.”

She perked up, immediately leaning forward to break the silence, “For some good news, papa, me and Skye broke up.”

The effect was immediate as not only Jimmy relaxed visibly, but also Mayor. Jimmy turned around, placing the piping hot pan on a stray oven mitt, “Thank the Stars. I’m sorry, baby, but he was just not right for you.”

“He also treated me like I was stupid!” Mayor exclaimed, slamming his hands on the table dramatically and flaring his wings. Tango shook his head, waving down his son.

“Don’t slam the table, bud,” he spoke softly, making Mayor retract his hands.

Flicker tilted her head to the side slightly in agreement. She shrugged, watching Jim plate their food, “I know, he was just not who I needed. Plus, he was already talking about marriage and like- blegh.”

“Marriage? Wasn’t he twenty-two?” Tango asked, his face scrunching in distaste. Flicker pointed to him with wide eyes.

“Thank you! I literally said that to him, but he said that it was fine since we were in love! I was like- I’m twenty for Star’s sake! What are you on?”

Jimmy laughed, putting the plates down onto the table, “Good, because that’s exactly how I raised you.”

The dish, perfectly seared and seasoned, was a stir fry. A recipe Tango had been told Jim was trying to get better at. And, looking at it, the Hellion believed Jim had.

“Yes, well, the girl I’m seeing now is much nicer,” Flicker idly mentioned, picking up a fork. She tried to make it seem like a casual info drop, but it was painfully clear that it was her intention to seem casual. Because Tango had a forkful of food halfway to his open mouth as he stared bug-eyed at his daughter. The canary was halfway sat when she said that and completely paused. He had no clue Flicker was even interested in girls. Clearly, neither did Jimmy because the only person munching away on their food was an oblivious Mayor.

Flicker cleared her throat, “Is that alright?”

“That you’re dating someone or that it’s a girl?” Jim questioned lightly, his face melting into something softer.

“Both.”

“Well,” Tango chimed in, taking a bite of the food, “me and your father are both men, so, yes, we’re okay that you’re dating a girl.”

His husband nodded in agreement and took a bite of his own food. While he seemed to be evaluating it, the rest of the family had already begun digging in. Because this food was incredible. As it always was.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure,” Flicker smiled, looking down at her plate. Poor girl looked genuinely nervous to tell them. Jim placed a hand on hers and was about to speak when Mayor interrupted.

“Affá, can I see Hermes tomorrow? I wanna show him my wings!” He asked, mouth full of food. Jimmy lightly bopped him over the head with the elbow of his wings. “Don’t talk while eating, you could choke. Also don’t interrupt people.”

“Ask your father. I have plans with Uncle Skizz tomorrow and he’ll be the one to take care of you,” The Hellion replied, taking another bite of food.

Mayor sighed, grumbling about something. That was before he seemingly got an idea. With a shit-eating grin, he leaned forward and said, “Affáse, can I see Hermes tomorrow?”

Oof, Tango didn’t like that. He didn’t know where Mayor learned that word from, but it definitely wasn’t him. The Hellion remembered calling his own dad that many times when he was a child. The word still left a dirty feeling in his mouth when he said it and left gunk in his ears when he heard it.

So he straightened himself and stayed composed. His husband was clearly holding back from scolding Mayor for using that word, but Tango cleared his throat to signal he was about to speak.

“Mayor,” he said, firmly, “Don’t call me that. I’m Affá. Not anything else, okay?”

“But that literally means ‘father’! You asked me to ask my father and I did that!” He pouted crossing his arms.

“I know what it means, but still,” the Hellion reiterated, “Don’t call me that and ask your father.”

Mayor turned his head begrudgingly, “Papa, can I go see Hermes tomorrow?”

“Yes, you can, but only if you say sorry,” the canary answered, earning a guilty sigh from the boy.

He poked at his food, “Sorry, Affá.”

“It’s alright,” Tango smiled, brushing Mayor’s foot with the tip of his tail underneath the table and causing the little avian to laugh.

Jimmy wasn’t exactly done with the topic, though, “Why didn’t you just ask me?”

His tone wasn’t firm or upset, rather genuinely confused. The Hellion had to agree with that confusion given that he had never heard his kids try to mansplain his native tongue to him.

“Because!” Mayor exclaimed, “You said no last time!”

Jimmy raised an unimpressed eyebrow, “Yea, because Hermes was in Hub last time you asked. I wasn’t about to make a last-minute day trip to Hub. I love you to death, bud, but I just didn’t have the time.”

“Wait is Hermes here?” Flicker asked, looking up from her dinner.

Tango nodded, “Yea, he came in yesterday to see Joel.”

Flicker nodded suddenly a little more excited, “Are the other kids here?”

“No, it’s just you and Hermes back from Hub,” Jim replied, accepting Mayor’s empty plate onto his own, “Though, I think Joel and Lizzie’s daughter is coming back from an experimental server next week.”

“Ah,” Flicker absently replied, sitting up to take Tango’s empty plate and the stack in front of Jimmy.

She took the plates to the sink and began to run them under the cool water. Mayor got up, walking over to one of the counters and flapping his wings furiously as he attempted to climb on top. Tango laughed, lifting the boy up by the back of his shirt and onto the cool granite.

“Gosh, you know what I can’t believe?” Flicker sighed, scrubbing the plates clean.

“What?” Jim beckoned, putting away his cooking supplies and slipping some dirty appliances into the sink along with the plates.

She sighed, picking up a rag to wash the forks and the chopping knives, “I’m gonna be thirty-one by the time Mayor is eighteen.”

Tango grimaced as that was a metric he did not want to hear. He already felt like time was moving way too fast. His girl was already grown, and soon his son would be, too. He held both of them when they were babies. They changed their diapers, fed them their bottles, watched them take their first steps and say their first words, and grow into their own personalities and bodies. By the time Mayor would be 18, Tango would be…

‘Too old’ The Hellion mentally concluded.

Jim just nodded silently, looking a bit nostalgic. He brushed some of Flicker’s hair out of the way to kiss her on the cheek, “Time flies, doesn’t it?”

“Speaking of flying, but not related to flying at all, Cub said he was gonna do a firework show tonight if you two wanna come watch it with me and your father. Luckily, we’ll be able to watch it outside of our balcony. Cub said that he’d been working on a firework recipe since season 10, and he finally perfected it,” Tango explained, offering Flicker a plush towel to dry her hands on.

She smiled, “Yea! I’m down!”

Mayor whined, scooting off of the counter, “Wait, but not yet! I still have to show Flicker my new planes!”

Tango, once again, lifted the boy by the back of the shirt and plopped him down onto the tile floor. Flicker smiled, taking one of his hands in hers and walking over towards the doorway to the living room, “C’mon! Show me, Maybell. We have plenty of time, don’t we, Affá?”

Tango nodded once again, shooing them away into the hallway, “Yes, you two have plenty of time to look at Mayor’s planes.”

The little avian jumped happily, bolting off with the girl’s hand and leaving her struggling to catch up. The two men stayed silent for a long time, softly smiling to themselves with a fondness that warmed your body up like a hot coal. But, in the corner of his eye, the Hellion saw as Jim’s face grew a bit dejected.

Tango turned his head, placing a hand on the avian’s hip, “Hey, are you okay?”

Jimmy let out a shaky sigh, closing his reddening eyes and letting out a wobbly reply, “It’s just so fast.”

“What is?”

“Time. Growing up. Getting old. I just… I was already holding back tears today watching Mayor get his first proper preen. I watched as some of the matted downy was combed out to reveal beautiful bluejay wings. And I,” Jim trailed off, brushing away some tears. Tango frowned, and brought his other hand to cup the avian’s cheek.

Jimmy continued, “And I watched him grow up in real time. He isn’t going to be the same little boy anymore. He’s not going to be my Mayor forever. And I’m scared of that.”

“Jim…” Tango sighed, pecking his forehead.

“Now Flicker is going to the nether and… I know this sounds ridiculous, but what if she forgets us? What if she grows up and doesn’t need us anymore? I’m not ready to let her go like that,” the avian whispered, his lower lip quivering and his voice softly trembling.

The Hellion’s eyes softened, “She can’t stay our baby, forever, Love. She has to grow up. But she’ll still need us. It’ll just be different from when she was a baby. She still needed us when she was five even though she didn’t need us to change her diapers. She still needed us when she was ten even if she didn’t need us to help dress her anymore. She still needed us when she was fifteen even though she didn’t need us to cook for her all of the time.”

The canary sucked in a breath, wet streaks running down his cheeks. But Tango didn’t stop, he continued to reassure the man, “And she still needs us now at twenty, even though she doesn’t live with us anymore. She needs us in different ways, but that’s how it’s always been. Same thing with Mayor.”

My therapist said that we don’t really lose our children when they grow up. Instead, we learn to share them with the rest of the world. And… I’m okay with not having her around all of the time anymore. I’m okay with her going to the nether because others are going to have the privilege to have known her. But she’ll never, ever stop being our daughter.”

The canary sighed, a vague smile suddenly creeping onto his face. He reached into his pocket and tentatively pulled out a tiny little cat plush. Tango widened his eyes, his mouth hanging agape. It was a little white and gray kitty with bright green eyes. It was Flicker’s Jellie! She had lost it in her move to Hub.

“Is that…?”

“I found it in a box in the storage room. It was labeled ‘Flicker’s Stuff’. It had a ton of sentimental things in there, and I’m surprised she forgot it. Though, at the same time, I’m not surprised at all,” Jim sighed, handing it to the Hellion.

“She is my daughter,” the Hellion chuckled, holding the little thing delicately in his hands. It had seen better days, but just looking at it brought back a flood of memories.

It wasn’t as white as it used to be, given that it was now a pretty uniform gray color. The fur was matted; the fabric well loved. Tango remembered comforting Flicker when she sobbed that day. She was so distraught that she had lost it.

Jimmy smiled, walking over to the counter to pull out a tissue to blow out his nose from his previous cry-sesh, “Wanna give it to her? She’ll be ecstatic.”

“I think you should give it to her,” the Hellion smiled, placing a kiss on his husband’s cheek while slipping the tiny plush into his hands.

“Really?”

“Yes, really,” Tango smiled, taking Jim’s arms and leading him to the sliding glass door in the living room.

Tango slid the door closed. The balcony was decently sized, with a large outdoor couch placed right in the middle. The two men sat down, getting comfortable. They took opposite sides knowing that their children would be in the middle. Flick on Tango’s side and Mayor on Jim’s. Just like it always is.

The night sky was really beginning to show, the beautiful stars twinkling in the dark abyss. The tree line was just barely discernible with the help of the radiant moon. The breeze blew around them, but it was warm. It was a beautiful summer night. Tango could just make out the shimmering form of Arcturus.

“This is nice,” Tango whispered, flicking his tail back and forth as they sat.

Jim nodded, “It is.”

“You know what’s even nicer?” Tango suddenly piped up, moving his hand to lift up the canary’s chin.

“What?” Jimmy questioned, eyes shining with mischievous intent rather than his cheeks burning with how flustered he was. The avian twisted his body to better face the shorter man.

The Hellion smiled, “Looking at you, ya’ silver fox. Still just as beautiful as the day we met. I could look at you all night, if ya know what I mean.”

“Stop it,” the canary huffed, looking away to hide his face, “Don’t joke like that when the kids are here. I would rather them not hear that.”

“Ah, you love it,” he snickered, earning a playful shove from Jim.

“I do,” the avian sighed, shaking his head, “But not right now, love.”

“Sir yes sir,” the Hellion smiled, picking up Jim’s hand, placing a kiss one the back of it, and placing it back down onto the plush surface.

The sliding door opened once more. Turning around, the Hellion saw who it was. Out came their two kids. Mayor let go of his sister’s hand in favor of being at the side of Jim. The boy leaned into the canary’s side and beckoned Flicker to come and sit.

She did, but much slower, scooting between Tango’s knees and the railing. She flopped down onto the couch and sighed. Tango propped his arms on the back of the sofa so Flick could nestle herself more comfortably against his body. The sofa was decently sized, but not big enough to give four people wiggle room. Their bodies were smooshed together, but they liked it like that.

“Hey, Flick, I have a surprise for you,” Jimmy whispered, smiling. She looked over, her eyes giving away her confusion. The avian reached into his pocket and pulled out the little Jellie.

While Tango couldn’t see her reaction too well, given it was dark and she was kind of facing away, he could definitely picture it. She gasped, flapping her hands in the air as she exclaimed, “No freaking way!”

She took it into her hands and held it like it was a real kitten. Pressing it to her nose, she took a deep breath. Tango could feel the content rumble beginning in her chest. “I can’t believe you found her. Where was she?”

“In a box labeled as your stuff. Found it in the storage room,” Jim chuckled, hearing her groan.

“I cried over this thing!” She exclaimed, holding it close to her chest. While Flicker acted annoyed, Tango could see how her hair shimmered brightly, almost like she was actively holding back from igniting her hair into a flame. “I’ve had it since I was a baby!”

“Yea, Uncle Scar gave it to you,” Tango mentioned, looking at his communicator. He read Cub’s message that said that the fireworks should be starting soon.

“Wait, really?”

“Yea, that was a plush of his old cat Jellie,” Jimmy smiled, sliding his wing between the cushions and the backs of his kids.

“Wait- Jellie as a real cat?” Flicker stammered, absolutely flabbergasted.

“Yea!” The Hellion responded, raising an eyebrow, “We never told you?”

“No!” She yelped like she was personally offended. Her father laughed, instead pulling her head down to rest on his chest. She didn’t fight it, just exhaling a long, dramatic breath in retaliation to the gatekeeping of childhood stuffed animal lore.

Tango laughed, but when a large boom shattered through the air and whatever dark abyss the sky was turned into a brilliant myriad of colors, both of the Hellions were so startled that they burst into flames.

Jimmy cackled and Mayor squealed at both the fireworks and the fiery hair. Tango immediately ran his fingers through his scalp to calm it and Flicker followed soon after she got over the shock. She pat her hair down and shook out any remaining flame in her hair and sighed, “That scared me so bad.”

“Right? I almost had a heart attack,” Tango mumbled, turning his gaze to appreciate the bright display.

Whatever Cub had done to his recipe, he’d done it right. Because these explosions were the biggest ones he’s ever seen. They were vibrant, bright, and beautiful. Even when the colors faded into the night, the brightness still had a residue in your vision. When he blinked, Tango could see the shape of the fire behind his eyelids.

“So,” Jimmy called over the booming sound, “When are we gonna meet this girlfriend of yours, baby?”

Even in the dark, Flicker’s cheeks burned a very obvious pink. She stuttered a few times while beginning to speak, “Well, we just started dating, so it’s going to be awhile.”

“It’ll at least be before you leave for the nether, right? When do you leave?” Tango inquired, running his knuckles up and down the length of her arm. A soft rumble started in his own chest, and feeling her purr as well put his mind into an honest sense of calmness. His brain felt like the smooth water of a lake, with not a single ripple in its surface.

“In six months we leave. If things go well, I’ll introduce you guys,” Flicker answered trying to project over the sound of the fireworks.

Jim nodded, “I’m so proud of you, Flick.”

“Thanks, papa!” She exclaimed, right when the largest one shot off.

It exploded into a sphere of bright, yellow flame. And right then, everything slowed. Tango’s eyes widened, and he sucked in a breath.

He remembered how terrified he was that first week of being an actual dad. He was so paranoid that he was doing everything wrong and that Jim surely must hate him for making such a grave decision. Tango had gone to visit Empires for a bit to help the canary settle back into Tumble Town, and he was still so frazzled. His first therapy appointment was then, and he felt a little broken. But he also recalled how Flicker always smiled through it all. She was such a happy baby.

And from a baby, she turned into a little girl. Always so curious. Always so kind. She never seemed to run out of energy, always going through life at 100%. Watching her hair grow into thick curls that bounced as she ran. He loved her curly hair. He’d never seen a Hellion with it. He remembered learning how to care for curly hair. Tango had no idea that curly hair was actually that different, but with the help of Gem, she was no longer as frizzy.

He remembered when Flicker was six and got really into bugs. Unfortunately for Tango, he hated bugs. So he would have to tolerate every little creature his daughter brought in from playing. But he could always recollect every single bug fact she told him, because he was so proud of how smart she was. He remembered how much she loved jumping spiders and butterflies. Those were her favorite. And, Tango remembered this vividly, her favorite butterfly was the Orange-Barred Sulfur butterfly because her favorite color was yellow.

And from a kid, she turned into a teenager. A little more reserved, a little more awkward, but just as bright. She became her own person then, and it was a little hard for Tango. He didn’t know how to cope with the feeling of not being at the center of his daughter’s universe.

He remembered how when she was eleven, she got super into horses. And just like that, Bdubs became her favorite person. She sometimes called him the ‘Horse King’, and the short man absolutely let it get to his head. She would ask her parents to take her over to his base so that she could ride horses with Uncle Bdubs. Tango remembered being jealous, given that he felt like she’d gotten a new favorite ‘dad’. But when Bdubs began gushing to the other hermits, or anyone who would listen, about how Flicker was the sweetest thing on earth, the Hellion remembered feeling so, so proud.

And from a teenager, she turned into an adult. Whatever awkwardness that came from puberty had instantly vanished and she morphed into an outstanding young woman. The entire server was so undeniably proud of her; Bdubs especially. She never said much about her dreams, but her eyes sparkled with a hope that Tango was unfamiliar with.

When Flicker was 18 and told her dad she wanted to move to Hub and begin working for an organization that helped with the quality of life for Hellions across all dimensions and servers, he remembered being scared. He recalled how he spoke to his therapist about it nonstop for almost an entire session. When he was done, his therapist looked him dead in the eye and asked, ‘Do you trust your daughter?’

He said he trusted her with his life.

And so she nodded, and said, ‘Then have a little faith in her’

Tango looked over to Jim. The canary seemed to have had the same idea, because he was already staring. They smiled and reached across the back of the couch to hold the other’s hand. They looked back at the brilliant show. Everyone had went quiet, and only the sound of explosions could be heard. The Hellion went slack against the cushions, only having just enough tension in his arm to keep hold of his husband’s hand. His daughter nestled in his side and his son dozing off into Jim’s.

He made the right choice keeping Flicker.

The faint memory of his mother singing him his lullaby played over and over in the back of his mind, and the faint, cold touch of a hand on his left shoulder made itself known. He hadn’t felt her presence in years. Maybe it was just his tiredness, but he almost felt like all of his family was here.

Tomorrow he’d meet with Skizz. Next week, Flicker would be back in Hub. In a couple months, they could meet her girlfriend. In half a year, Flicker will be in the nether. In a couple of years Flicker might be married. And in eleven whole years, Mayor would be turning 18 and starting his own chapter wherever he may go.

But now, right now, he had everything he needed.

And that was more than he could ever ask for.

—-//—-///—-//—-

The following letter was translated from Hellspeak:

Dear Flicker,

You said you wanted to learn Hellspeak. So, I’m writing this to you for you to translate in your own time. Give you a little extra motivation, you know? And besides, I’ve been needing to tell you this for a long time.

When I found you, I didn’t want to keep you. I thought I wasn’t ready, and to be honest, I thought you deserved someone better than me. But, after Xisuma got all paranoid with the firewall, Hermitcraft went into lockdown. So, it couldn’t give you away just yet.

And thus began the most transformative, stressful, and eye opening month of my life. By the end of it, I had resolved myself to call you my daughter. And since then, I had never looked back.

For your entire childhood, I doubted myself. I believed that I was traumatizing you. I was terrified of becoming like my father. Without getting into the gory details; you wouldn’t like him. Even when we agreed to adopt Mayor, I was convinced that I was a horrible dad. Even with my therapist telling me constantly that I wasn’t what I thought I was, I didn’t believe her.

It wasn’t until you were 18 and you told me and your papa that you wanted to go to Hub. You said you wanted to help our people. You said you knew it was your purpose. At first, as I’m sure you remember, I was disapproving. I was terrified of not only at the thought of you being in danger, but also the fact that you were growing up. But my therapist, Ryea bless her heart, told me to have faith in you.

And I did.

I still, however, mourned the loss of my daughter. I treated your absence like a death. Everyday you were gone was a day that I felt a hole in my life. Everything was just emptier without you in it.

Again, and I cannot stress how amazing therapy is, my therapist told me to change my perspective of things. She told me that I didn’t lose you, but instead, I was sharing you. She said when a child grows up, parents have to accept the fact that they have to share their children with the world. They can’t have their kid all to themselves anymore.

And I watched you save up for your very own apartment in Hub. You struggled, but the thing about family is that they don’t leave you behind. Luckily enough, you have about a dozen aunts and uncles who love you more than the air they breathe. So, when you turned 19, your birthday present was the lease to your new home.

The time you’ve been gone, I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that you’re not the same baby I once held 20 years ago. I’ve found peace in the knowledge that others will be able to know you and love you like I do. Because just being around you is amazing.

I’m so proud of you. Everyday I feel that pride swell. And I know you’ll do amazing things. Because the beautiful thing about life is knowing that you’ll never stop fighting. Everything you’ll ever do, you’ll have to fight for. Every achievement you earn is something you’ve fought for. Every chain that holds you down, every blockade in your path, they are all just stepping stones to the greater goal. Don’t bother with the easy route. Fight. Fight for your happy ending.

I know I fought hard for mine, and I got it. So I know that you’ll get yours, too, because you are three times the person I’ll ever be.

You’ll go back to the place I can’t go back to. You’ll save people in ways they never thought possible. Flicker, you’ll bring hope to that awful place. I know you will. You’ll start with that city, but I pray to whoever is up there that your kindness and benevolence stretches far beyond that place.

You may never see the impact you leave behind, but that doesn’t make it any less worth it. Because the lives you choose to help rather than ignore, the lives you choose to carry to a better place rather than leave behind, and the lives you choose to heal rather than let rot will take your legacy and bear it with them.

So never stop fighting, never stop loving, and never stop helping people.

But no matter what, even if you find yourself in a tough place, you have a family back at home who supports you 100 percent of the way. You’ll always be my little girl, Flick. Even if you’re all grown up.

Love,
Your Dad, TangoTek

—-//—-///—-//—-

The End.

Chapter Text

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
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HEY YALL

First, before I say anything, I would like to give a MASSIVE thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of the support I’ve gotten for this fic. I know to yall it’s just reading a story, but it does mean a lot to me and I’m very grateful that you have enjoyed my work.

I’ve never written anything like this before (this long lol), and for my first ever fic, I never expected to get even a quarter of the reception I’ve gotten, honestly. So, again, thank you so so so much for everything.

So this little chapter wasn’t always going to happen, but at some point I just wanted to be able to talk about all of the details I couldn’t mention in the story. Like, it didn’t seem appropriate to just give a textbook explication of the history of the nether from Tango’s POV, you know?

That’s why I made the Hellion Biology sections because I wanted to give you guys an in-world explanation for certain behaviors and attributes for this species I made up. Those sections also served as a device to convey the role the species played in the world, too. Since most Hellions are in the nether, many see the species as ‘unknown’ or ‘mysterious’. I’ll go more into it later (I don’t wanna rant just yet lol), but know that the author of this made-up book was VERY xenophobic and racist towards the Hellion species. So while the core facts were right, there were very obviously biased writing and untrue statements about Hellions from an outsiders perspective.

One of my biggest pet peeves in writing, and I understand that this is sometimes inevitable if you want to write a more coherent and easier to understand story, is when characters will internally explain a concept to the reader despite the fact that they would already know that information. This is obviously an exception when the format of the story is meant to replicate an in-world character telling an outside perspective a story.

Here’s an example of what I don’t like doing in my writing:
Tango felt his hair ignite into a steady flame. When a Hellion feels a strong enough emotion, their hair will light on fire.

While that’s not a perfect example, I’m sure you understand what I mean. And like I said, sometimes this is necessary, and everyone is guilty of it (even me lol). BUT for what I wanted for this story, I didn’t want to be too on the nose for some descriptions or context.

So that’s why I made this chapter! To clear up what I refused to outright say in the story! Though, keep in mind, I didn’t have all of this thought out when I started writing (I wasn’t even sure I was going to finish this when I posted my first chapter), so a lot of this came to me as I wrote. So, if there are some inconsistencies, I apologize! First fic problems sorry lol

There will be sections for each thing I want to talk about, and within those may be questions asked by you guys! (Yall had great questions btw)

I don’t think there’s anything more to say other than I hope you enjoy this author’s note!

(Please note that this chapter is like-super duper long and I did NOT have the energy to go back through it and spellcheck it. From my knowledge, everything should be pretty fine, but if there’s more mistakes than normal (or weird wordings) sorry! This took forever, and I mean FOREVER, to make.)

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HISTORY OF THE NETHER
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So for basically all early development in the two worlds (the nether and the over world) they never crossed. This is quite obvious given that a ritual is needed to even go between worlds (obsidian & fire).

But because of the different resources and biomes that each world possessed, they developed differently.

The over world was able to develop much quicker due to the access to certain materials and places where the soil is able to be cultivated. As seen in our irl history, areas that are easier to cultivate in (such as areas around rivers OR places where soil is easily tilled) have a much easier time progressing in terms of technology. Way of life is able to go past that of hunter-gatherer, and civilizations can form.

However, areas that are more desolate (the desert) or too abundant (rainforest) do not encourage stationary environments or have populations larger than a tribe. In the context of an over abundant biome, people are more inclined to exist in a stationary state, but often do not exceed large quantities of members. In the context of an under abundant biome, like the nether, populations are more likely to exist in a nomadic state with varying sizes of populations. Hellions specifically tend to travel (nomadically) in very large groups.

While I said that the nether is an under abundant place, it used to be much more livable. Food and other plants that supplied water used to be much more available. I imagined other biomes existing in the nether that provided more shelter and resources for a Hellion tribe pre-over world occupation.

Equally, Brinha trees also used to be very common place. Brinha trees were these things that I imagined to be as black as obsidian and very fragile. I pictured that the ancient Hellions would take the brittle branches that snapped from the nether ash storms/winds and use them for weapons or artistic wooden idols of their goddess Ryea (I’ve pronounced it Rye-ay-uh). This meant that these trees were incredibly sacred to them. (It also, however, became a very desired wood type in the over world for its unique properties which later resulted in its extinction in the nether. It can only be found in certain farms in the over world)

Keep in mind that the nether’s ‘underdeveloped’ state is not because of a lack of understanding or a deficit of knowledge, rather simply their environment and the patterns in our own human history that follow those patterns. (Basically, they’re not dumb, it’s just harder to become a more advanced society in a place that doesn’t encourage it)

So, all that to say, Hellions existed in a hunter-gatherer state while the over world was in the equivalent of our 1800’s to early 1900’s. When the pathway to the nether was discovered, the folks in the over world had this ‘I’m more advanced than you, thus better than you. Now give me all your shit’ mindset. This lead to a very, very long occupation in the nether where the over world kinda had complete dominion over the entire dimension.

During that time, many over world beliefs and traditions crossed and mixed with the Hellion’s (cultural diffusion in a way). This actually influenced its current state. Hellions, like humans, are actually very social creatures (contrary to what many people, even Hellions, believe). This sociableness not only comes from their nomadic past, but also from an evolutionary standpoint (I’ll discuss that later). Their identity used to be that of a more shared collective (as ‘what’s good for the entire group’ instead of ‘what’s good for me and my family’), and while there was a sense of independence, it was more so used to see if you were capable of taking care of other members of the tribe rather than yourself. This was not calculated based off of age, rather actual physical, emotional, and/or mental ability.

(Quick note because this is important to me: disabilities were very present in Hellion tribes before the occupation, and weren’t seen as ‘burdens’ like we did in our irl history. I pictured any Hellion not fully able to take care of themself would just have been taken care of by the tribe. Simple as that. There were no ‘burdens’ in the tribe unless a Hellion was actively dying and was in immense pain. I’m sure you can guess how that changed after the over world occupation)

In the over world, however, this sense of independence was more so for seeing if you were capable of living on our own (humanism kinda). Equally, once you reach this ‘age’ of independence, usually in the over world, you go out on your own.

The nether doesn’t have ‘years’ like the over world does on account of not having a sky to see the sun and moon. They do, however, have seasonal ash winds that come every year during certain times during the nether year. Even before the occupation, the Hellions used these winds to grasp some sort of system to tell the time. This was by creating ‘holidays’ of sorts around the strongest periods of winds that happened. During/after the occupation, they were used in a way the over world saw more fit. (To tell time by sun/moon standards)

Like I said, the over world saw the nether as ‘uncivilized’, so they didn’t feel bad about destroying their customs.

I don’t know if I ever said this specifically in the story, or if it was ever implied, but basically, Hellions developed a ‘coming of age’ ritual after many years of cultural diffusion. When a Hellion child’s claws were fully developed and grown (usually around age 5), they were to be sent out into the world. Is that harsh? Absolutely! But it is an example of what imposing beliefs onto a completely natural and functioning society does. It creates massive ripples of generational trauma.

Now, I keep saying ‘occupation’, but what do I mean by that? I’ll explain!

So, when I say that the over world occupied the nether, I mean that they parked their keisters right where they didn’t belong and began herding in mass amounts of Hellions to begin working in industry. And this practice got rid of their communal nature. (Though, it is imprtant to note, portal cities—cities built around nether portals— still have a sort of community to them due to the sheer concentration of Hellions in one place, but not like the community that used to exist). They were torn from their tribes so they could work in certain industrial areas to help take all of the nether’s stuff and give it to the over world. The over world then bought and sold this stuff and made boat loads of profit. Did the Hellions see any of this money?

Nope!

First of all, any form of money or currency is worthless in hunter-gatherer societies. Second of all, even if they could find value in it, it was instantly given to the factory owners to just produce more. The Hellions, if given time to properly modernize (though they honestly didn’t need to), would’ve had plenty of money and most likely had a high GDP (I hope I’m using that right lmaooo I’m not an economist). They had plenty of resources of value, but they never had the chance to actually profit from them.

Though it is important to say that the modern over world (the one we see in the story) does acknowledge that the past was a not-so-great one. While prejudice against Hellions (for reasons I’ll get to in just a second, I promise!) still exists, and is quite rampant, it is getting better. Especially with the help of organizations much like the one Flicker works for in the prologue!

An important note, Hellion parenting (this is actually very important to the context of the fic lololol) was pretty similar to the over world’s parenting. The responsibilities of taking care of a baby weren’t designated to the mother in the way you’d think. Yes, the mom spent the most time with the baby, but that was because she literally kept it alive with food & skin contact. After the baby was old enough to not need her for such things, it wasn’t uncommon for it to kinda be passed around and cared for by everyone in the tribe. Yes, the mother of the child had the primary ‘custody’ (as well as the father), but if she got tired, another Hellion (male or female) would simply look after it.

This is also why smell is very important to Hellions!!! They literally had to smell to find their own baby because Hellions looks very similar to one another. (They don’t have many differentiating traits). So, using their more sensitive noses, they can pick out the specific smell their baby has. That’s why Tango loved her smell so much! His brain perceived her as his baby even before he realized it lol.

Back to the history!

So basically the over world took everything of value over the course of a couple hundred years from the nether, and when everything ran out (because ofc they were sustainable), the just kinda left. This left the nether in a completely desolate state. They had their culture stifled, their resources depleted, and their tribes disintegrated. That’s why Hellions struggle so much in the nether. It’s quite literally no longer a place they can easy adapt to. Usually, big transitions happen over millions of years, and this one happened in a couple hundred. It was not NEARLY enough for them to learn how to survive again once the big industries left the nether. So, they starve and die as a result.

Which is bullshit because the over world is incredibly advanced. Spawn (the main area of Hub) is basically a mega-city with massive buildings and computer towers. Spawn is actually where all of the servers are located for people to transport their very bodies into. And so while Hub kept going forward, the nether was forced to stay behind.

Due to this pillaging of resources, many issues have emerged (obviously). First is the Warlords, which was first discussed in chapter 3. Tango meets a female Warlord right before he dies, but she saves him just in time. This Warlord, though I never gave her a name (this was on purpose), was once one of the strongest and most powerful people in the nether. Warlords were Hellions with control over a specific amount of land. The more land you had, the more power. These Warlords employed many Hellions seeking shelter and community and provided them with food, medicine, and other protections. These Warlords are ruthless killers, and shouldn’t be excused for their actions. The Warlord we meet acknowledges her wrong doings, but she’s not exactly as remorseful as she probably should be. She’s still a horrible person, even if she tries to save people in her small time left. Even though the Warlords have power, they aren’t freer by any means. Like the Warlord we meet said; they are trapped by the exact same nether roof like everyone else. These people are just products of a terrible cycle.

Famine zones are another thing. In the same chapter, Tango goes through a desert that was much bigger than he thought it’d be. This is an example of a famine zone. Deserts, while rather empty, do have things Hellions can use to survive. However, the desert Tango travelled through had nothing. A famine zone is an area of land that had been absolutely stripped completely bare, without being replaced at all, and remains unable to provide any resources.

Gangs are also existent in the nether, but not as we know them in our own world. Gangs are the closest thing that the moderns Hellions have to a nomadic group. Gangs do not own territory like Warlords do. They simply travel in very small groups (usually no bigger than 10) and take what they need from the land. The difference between gangs and other groups traveling together, is that gangs are, you guessed it, very violent. Usually gangs kill on sight, but it’s not guaranteed, like the gang Tango finds in chapter 8. It’s not uncommon for gangs to take in weaker looking Hellions to either use or train to become a strong member of their group. (This training can be leveraged for loyalty.)

(Note: As you know, the leader of the gang Tango meets in chapter 8 had interest in him. That caused for the leader to make many unwanted advances towards him. While that is very, very bad, I feel like I need to explain something about the nether’s view on homosexual relationships because of how not-unusual the interest is portrayed to be. Answer: they don’t care. Homophobia is actually from the over world, and Tango only learned about it when he began living there. That’s why he asked his mom in chapter 14 if she was okay with him dating a man, and that’s why she was so offended. That type of hatred is an over world original.)

Their religion was monotheistic, and as I’m sure you are all aware, they worshipped the goddess Ryea. And while the over world didn’t directly condemn the practice, it genuinely fizzled out due to loss of hope. Like- centuries of mistreatment made them think that they’d been left behind by their goddess. So that’s why worshippers of her are often frowned upon, mistreated, or killed. Because the practice of worshipping her was kind of a reminder of the old days and it was hard to remember (emotionally speaking).

(Note: the lullaby Tango’s mother sings to him & Flick is about Ryea, as his mother was an avid believer in her. This explains her very optimistic and peaceful personality. It’s a pretty old song, given it survived the occupation (at least through Tango’s family). I always pictured that the ‘angel’ was actually just her. Tango has a pretty rough relationship with religion, a relationship I don’t want to get into because I feel as though people could probably understand why, but he does admittedly feel some comfort (in a nostalgic way) while remembering her.)

-TANGO’S HISTORY-

Tango was born to a stationary Hellion family far from any nether civilization (any and all civilizations in the nether are located around nether portals). This is why half of his life was spent walking and traveling through the nether. He was kinda walking aimlessly, but hoping to come across something permanent like his previous home.

When he was a young baby, his mother was sick, but was able to move around (I’ll get into her sickness in just a second). She cared for him, nurtured him, and comforted him when his father was being… himself. His father often went out during the day to forage and try to cultivate to feed her (only her, he truly did not love Tango in the slightest).

As he grew, she grew weaker. And everyday it became a chore to care for Tango. Eventually, it got to the point where all she could do is lay in bed and hold him because she had literally no other ability. Tango’s father grew more and more resentful with age.

Eventually, Tango’s claws began to grow in, which meant he was “the age to be on his own”. Of course, his mother fought for him to stay. While his father wanted him gone more than anything, he wanted whatever would make her happy.

Then, it gets harder and harder for his father to find food. Any attempts at cultivation had failed long ago, as the nether is really hard to farm in (obviously). The nearby landscape had slowly lost all of its resources with not much time to replenish itself. Tango’s father had been going farther and farther each day just to get food.

Tango and his mother were slowly getting hungrier and hungrier and weaker and weaker. Eventually, that last memory sequence that we see (the one where he’s disposed off a cliff) occurs and Tango is now on his own!

(That’s basically the important stuff, lol)

-TANGO’S MOTHER’S HISTORY-

I’ll keep this section brief because tbh I didn’t think too deeply into this lolololol

So basically, she grew up in a stationary household much similar to Tango. She was born sick, being unable to run around and play like her brothers. And yes! She had brothers! That was because her parents had gotten together out of love and not lust on the man’s part. It’s super uncommon for Hellions to share two of the same parents. It’s even more uncommon to grow up with your sibling. (Note: even in portal cities, there are communities of small children who take care of each other because their parents couldn’t care for them past five for a multitude of reasons).

(Extra note: Her eldest brother was named TangoTek for obvious reasons 🫶)

When she got older, she got decently stronger. Her body was mature now and able to cope with what her organs n’ stuff naturally lacked. Of course, when she got older, she was found by Tango’s father. While her own father tried to prevent him from doing anything, he was old and wasn’t exactly strong enough to fight the younger and more fit Hellion.

His mother was taken, but he had pledged to her to keep her and their children safe. She did not appreciate this sentiment (obviously, hello?)
When she got pregnant with Tango was when her body took a downwards spiral.

Obviously this is a pretty brief description of a pretty bleak life, but I think that’s what makes her character the way it is. She had a much better childhood than most Hellions, hell, even better than her own son, but she still experienced life shattering hardships. What Tango’s mother went through, like many Hellion women, sounds like a nightmare to us. Even with those hardships, she still did everything she could to ensure Tango might find a bit of that hope in his life.

She chose to name him TangoTek and keep the tradition alive. And he chose to name his daughter the exact same name (except in English) for the exact same reason.

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HELLIONS
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slimypickles asked: one question i have is how you designed the hellion species? it’s so impressive how in depth you thought about it and all the different traits you included and i would love to hear about what the process behind that was if you’re open to sharing!!

I would be more than happy to share that process!

So when I joined the fandom (thank you Crane Wives), I immediately fell in love with Tango. He’s just so silly, what can I say? So, naturally, I sought out fanart and fanfics to make me happy. I noticed that a lot of people called him a ‘blaze hybrid’ if they hybridized him at all. And, while I don’t really care what people head cannon, I never really saw him as a blaze. He was too humanoid, and there weren’t many designs I had seen that leaned into the blaze side of him. I had always seen designs of him that were more impish and elf-ish and more like an animal than a blaze. To clarify, I love everyone’s designs, obviously, but it never screamed ‘blaze’ to me.

So, naturally, my brain got to working on what he could be. It wasn’t until I was playing Baldur’s Gate and I heard one of the Teifling NPCs call one of the children ‘their little hellion’, and I was like ‘I like that name’

SO! I began to think and think and think and I formulated this intelligent nether species that evolved right along with the piglins. They weren’t tied to blazes, but they were tied to the very fire the nether is built of. I first started with traits I thought it would be fun for them to have. Like fire hair when they were overwhelmed by emotion, tails with plumes of flame, sharp teeth and claws, the classic deep red eyes, pointed ears, and the ability to manipulate fire.

Then I was like: how could I make this realistic? Not in the sense of ‘how could this exist in our real world’, but more of ‘how could this exist realistically in a fantasy world in a way that doesn’t rely too heavily on the fact they they’re magical’.

Because I don’t really like making something that relies to heavily on the fact that it’s a fantasy world. Obviously with mystic orbs and phantoms, it’s gonna have to be magic, but when it comes to an entire species, there has got to be biology to it.

So I took all of the cool traits I wanted them to have and I brainstormed ways to root them in a sort of reality. They’re a species with an in depth history, so they have to be rather thought out.

After many hours spent zoning out to Spotify playlists and daydreaming about my ideas, I finally thought of something that really got me excited!

And thus the beginning of the Hellion species was born! And after that, I kinda used the story I already had going and helped infuse his species’ biology within it.

I’m not really great at explaining my creative process, sorry! I just kinda zone out a lot and then snap out of it with good ideas lol

So, after all that, here’s me trying my best to explain the species in a way I couldn’t before.

Firstly, the Hellion biology things were all pretty accurate. I feel like the parts that weren’t exactly 100% factual were pretty obviously biased. A lot of imagery of Hellions being compared to dogs or other non-intelligent animals was very biased.

I used those segments to further perpetuate the Hellion’s place in society. Not only was this book incredibly well known, it was purposefully misleading, and wasn’t even written by a Hellion.

I really liked writing these sections, because it gave me an opportunity to gush about the species that I fell in love with. And I really, really loved writing from a perspective that was completely unaffected by the current story. I always liked the idea of a story being spliced up by in-world source. Like a magazine or textbook. I always pictured the ‘Hellion Biology Lessons’ book to be one of those old hardcover science books with old font. Like the ones you just KNOW are gonna have eugenics in it.

Hellions are still seen as a mysterious and slightly dangerous species. Most of them stay in the nether and aren’t able to get out, but the ones who do make it out, often experience a lot of bigotry. Sometimes, Hellions who have escaped will willingly go back to the nether because it’s just too much. (Tango was incredibly lucky to get the community he did).

Books like ‘Hellion Biology Lessons’ obviously didn’t help their reputation. And this intense hatred created a strange dichotomy within the species. One half of the species grew to despise the over world and everything in it. They hate the species, the flora, the animals; everything. The other side of the coin is absolutely adoring it and desiring to leave all nether things behind. (I’m sure we all know which side of the coin Tango was on).

Now that little side tangent is over, time for me to talk about the species a bit more lolol

So basically, I imagined that Hellions evolved from a sort of ape-like creature covered in yellow fur. Why ape? Well, Hellions are humanoid (and mammals), so it wouldn’t make sense for them to evolve from anything else lol. Keep in mind they are NOT hominids (from the family Hominidae which is the taxonomic group we are from :3 This includes chimpanzees, orangutans, gorillas, etc, including extinct human ancestors!)

I believe that a lot of species from the over world are hominids or adjacent to hominids. I believe werewolves and such (mainly mammalian hybrid animals) have roots within the Hominidae family. Avians are an example of a species that is humanoid but not a hominid. Avians (basically bird people) are not mammalian by nature, and wouldn’t naturally have roots within the human species. So, if you think about it… I guess technically Jim or Grian wouldn’t have nipples or hair like we do. (I suppose, then, the hair they do have is evolved feathers that became super thin. Maybe they have extra fluffy hair because it’s all technically feathers? Idk I’m just throwing stuff out there).

But that’s beside the point!

Basically, these creatures also were nomadic in large groups (because that’s the optimal way to survive in the nether). They are ape-like purely out of coincidence, again, humanoid despite being mammalian like hominids. They were covered in yellow fur that, like modern Hellions, ignited into a great flame. This used to be a defense mechanism, so if a Hellion felt scared or angry, they could burst into a ball of flames and deter the predator. Or, it could be used as a mating display, as the male Hellion with the largest and strongest fire probably had the strongest internal flame. Realistically, having a strong internal flame, meant your children would be stronger as well.

(Note: the fire on their tail really isn’t fire. I thought it’d be annoying to have actual fire on a part of your body that was a little hard to control. And also, since the fire would exist 24/7 (to indicate a healthy Hellion), Tango would’ve had to pray to Ryea that his bed didn’t catch on fire LMAO. So you could consider the tips of their tails like one of those mist machines with orange light at the bottom to make it look like fire lol.)

Oh yea, speaking of which! I’m sure you guys are pretty curious about the biological process behind internal flames! Unfortunately, I don’t really have one! I know I said I liked it better when things had an explanation, but I think somethings can stay magical. The best explanation that I can offer for why exactly Hellions possess a heart of fire is that it’s kinda like how a koala eats eucalyptus (kinda???). I don’t know that’s the closest analogy. Like- Hellions literally live in fire, so might as well put it in your body, right?

Speaking of them living in fire; Hellions have very slight fire resistance. Obviously they have complete resistance on their scalp and palms where the fire is the most (and tail), but on the rest of their body, fire doesn’t affect them like it does us. Though, if a Hellion was lit on fire and stayed burning for a bit, then yes, they would begin to get injured. Also, lava, at least as I imagined it, is very different from fire. I always thought that a Hellion would have almost zero fire resistance to lava just because I think lava is arguably hotter.

Anywho, Hellions came from these creatures, and that’s kinda why they’re still furry (I wanted them to have fur :( I thought it would be cool). Also! The nape of the neck thing! So as I was making their ancestral species I thought that maybe they’d carry their young like dogs do. Like, they’d carry their babies with their arms as well, because they had arms to use, but they’d also grab them by the back of the neck when they were traveling or in a rush. And I felt like the nerves in the back of their neck really never went away, because there wasn’t a reason to get rid of them. Cause I’m pretty sure kittens are relaxed when you grab their scruff. It’s kind of the same thing! It’s just the usual way Hellions soothe their children (and themselves tbh).

There isn’t much else that needs to be said other than that! Because I said most of it in the actual fic, there isn’t must need for me to continue with the details! Ofc, if there’s someone else you’re wondering about the species, just ask in the comments and I’ll actually respond this time around! (You can ask questions about anything, really. Anything I didn’t cover and you want to know about 🫶)

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CHARACTERS
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-TANGO’S CHARACTER-

I’m excited to get into this one!

So, Tango was never, ever meant to be portrayed as a ‘completely blameless character’, though I feel that may be obvious. He was very flawed as a person, and I’m sure you were all at least a little frustrated at him at one point. Which is good! That was the point! He was not perfect, but you could at least see where he was coming from even if his beliefs or demands were a bit unreasonable.

He, at the core, is a simple man. He likes redstone, building, the hermits, and his Jimmy. Even with all of his problems, he isn’t anything less than the most loyal person one could know. That’s just cause of his nature, being from a species that willingly stays in a herd until the day they die. His friends don’t doubt that he loves them, but sometimes it can be confusing about the lengths he’d go for the people he loves. Because as much as he has simple loves, what he hates is something more convoluted.

Let’s start with the biggest thing he hates: himself. It’s unfortunate, yes, but his hate for himself comes from the years and years of mistreatment. Because when I wrote him, I wanted him to be a contrast contradiction of himself (I mean hypocritical). But his self-hate almost directly ties into his other hate: which is his species. He hates (hated. By the epilogue, almost none of what I have said or am going to say about his character is true lol) Hellions like his father did.

That’s actually where all of this originates! The entire conflict of the story is Tango realizing his desire to be a father to Flicker while battling with the distrust he has of himself. His self hatred (and by extension his hatred of his species) literally fuels the plot. And in one of the last memory segments, Tango has a moment with his father that isn’t violent. It’s actually the very first and last time he ever felt safe with his dad. His dad says that Hellions are ‘rot’. And for you observant lot, then you recognize the significance of rot and decay in the story (I’ll get into that much deeper in the symbolism section!).

As much as Tango despised his dad, he was terrified of becoming him, and admittedly, he was on the pathway to doing that. The thing that made Tango’s father a monster was the fact that he was resentful. He was so terribly hurt by his own father, but even then, he carried on those tendencies. Like his mother had told him in the last dream sequence, his father tried to be good. But when he saw Tango, who looked exactly like him, he grew to hate his own child. For many, many reasons, but the two big ones were 1.) He saw himself in Tango, and he felt fearful of what he’d find if he explored that fact (sound familiar?) 2.) He was envious that Tango had the opportunity to have a better childhood.

You may think ‘But Tango was nothing like his dad! He raised Flicker well, didn’t he?’
To that I have to say, yes, Tango was very different from his father. He raised his daughter and son very well. He was a very different parent to his own. But you have to realize that his father was once innocent, too. His father was once an innocent man who just wanted to be happy. Does that excuse what his father did end up doing? Of course not! But it puts into perspective the evolution of these things. If you don’t put in the work, whether you don’t realize you need to, you’re scared, and/or you think you’re fine, you become something you don’t want to be.

That was the point of Joe’s argument. Joe’s confrontation was not about Tango keeping Flicker, it was about him repeatedly running away from his issues. Joe saw how Tango kept running and running and running and he knew that if Tango never stopped, the Hellion they knew and loved would be gone. Replaced by someone who looked like Tango, but was probably more cold and violent. Like his father.

Suppose then, from that view, the story transforms into one of generational trauma. Tango could’ve taken the easy route and pretended like everything was fine as he continued to run and run and run. But that would turn him into a cruel, evil, and resentful person. Tango was terrified of becoming his father, but his bad coping mechanisms were pushing him closer and closer to becoming his father.

And his relationship with his own self, who he feared to be, meshed with his fear of where he came from. Tango experienced the horrors of a place that had been desolated for so, so long. A place devoid of hope, and full of a people that had given up on happiness. A people that were just trying to survive, by any means necessary. And if that meant killing, then so be it. And that environment breeds more and more violence, with more and more violent crimes.

But the thing is, I have a personal belief (that you may or may not agree with):

The repeat failure of a group of people reflects less so on the individual and more on the society itself.

Tango must learn that, yes, there is violence in the nether, and yes, many people suffer, but that doesn’t make Hellions bad. See, he knew the broad strokes of the history of the nether, as his mother told him as much as she could remember, but he couldn’t help the hatred bubbling in his heart. He yearned for a better life, and the only place that could supply that was the over world. So, he began to idolize it. The stories he heard of a magical place with green grass and no roof everywhere you went almost seemed too good to be true. And such a world in comparison to the nether just made his home seem even more awful. He knew the over world was the cause of his suffering, but he didn’t blame it. He wanted to become it, be apart of it, and he wanted to leave his Hellion life behind.

When it comes to histories of discrimination, I believe there are two sides of the coin (this is a generalization. Keep in mind issues like this in the real world are incredibly complex, and do not simplify to two simple sides. People can experience both sides or neither of these sides. Systemic issues and discrimination cause incredibly varying problems that I’m not about to talk about in the author’s note of a Hermitcraft fanfiction. I’m just making a point). There is one side that hates the opposition with everything they have. While it can be seen as reasonable to have distaste, these souls cannot find any empathy/sympathy for the average person with affiliation to the opposition. This creates dissonance between the two groups. The other side is the people who idolize the opposition. This is from a view point of desiring to be that/have the privileges that the others do. This can lead to the ‘I’m not like the other ones’ mentality. They almost suck up to the oppression in hopes they’d be spared from it, because they too, hate their own people. NOTE!!! This is obviously very complex and IT CANNOT BE GENUINELY SIMPLIFIED LIKE THIS. I’m just speaking from my own personal experience in situations like these (if you want to be more educated, please do your research 🙏 I don’t wanna be on the wrong side of a misunderstanding). I usually wouldn’t talk about this, but it’s kinda important to Tango’s character.

Because as I’m sure, you know which side Tango is on. His hatred of his own species comes from this hypocritical attitude towards Hellions. He honestly believed, “All Hellions are bad, including me. I’m just one of the only ones who can control my bad side, because I’m friends with a bunch of non-Hellions. So why talk about my experiences as a Hellion when I’m practically a human?”

(Note: this hypocritical behavior can constantly be seen when Tango speaks of his mother. He speaks of her like an angel, despite claiming all Hellions are bad. Tango’s father does the exact same thing from one of the last memory segments. When he says ‘Not your mother. Never your mother’. This is hypocrisy!)

Even with his knowledge of the over world’s involvement in his species’ suffering, it’s easier to agree with the more powerful side than to stand up for what you truly believe in.

(Note: there are many times in the story where he mentally cuts himself off as he says something along the lines of ‘Because it’s easier’. It usually cuts off at the E-
So, in the chapter Meltdown when Other Tango tells him he runs because it’s easier, he realizes that he wasn’t doing what was best for himself, he was doing what was… well, easier. That’s something I found important to emphasize, that with victims, they may not do what’s best for them and self sabotage. And to outsiders, we may think, ‘Why would you do that? That’s obviously bad for you!’, but we have to keep in mind, victims don’t think so. They think it’s for the best, because they don’t know where else to turn, and after all they’ve been through… they want the easiest route (this does not apply to everyone obviously). They’re not lazy, just damaged.)

This is Tango’s character. This is his problem. This is why he does what he does. He hates himself. He hates the nether. He hates Hellions. And he hates himself for hating Hellions and the nether. And this cycle of hatred, turning into idolization, then jealousy, the resentment, then guilt, and back into hatred just fuels his ever growing pile of issues. He does it to himself, but he’s just trying to survive and he doesn’t know how to properly do it.

Tango is a good yet damaged man. The fic is him learning that not only does he deserve good things, but healing isn’t painless. Healing comes in stages, and you sometimes backtrack. It’s not linear. He learns he’s worth the time it takes to heal. He learns he’s worth the effort it takes to get better. And that motivation comes from being a father! (The motivation to get better doesn’t always come from parenthood, but it very well can. I believe that a damaged person can very well be a good parent as long as they put in the effort and are able to recognize their own faults. Don’t mean that every parent deserves to be a parent, obviously. Tango’s father serves as Tango’s foil in the terms of parenthood. Both were damaged and abused, but they go about it differently).

Know that you, too, are worth the time it takes to get better! No matter what you’ve been through, you can do it :))) ❤️

-JIMMY’S CHARACTER-

Jimmy is also not meant to be perfect. He’s flawed, while not to the same degree at all. See, he’s a very emotional person, but not in the outward way (though, he can absolutely be outwardly emotional too, it’s just not as often as you may think).

See, I mentioned in some of the previous comments that there was a reason I never really brought up Jimmy’s personal feelings. It’s because Tango was genuinely too preoccupied with his own issues to notice (not great boyfriend behavior, but we understand why. I love morally gray characters and actions, can you tell?)

Equally, Jimmy tried to keep all of these big emotions under wraps. Tango was pretty emotional and stressed out a lot (not because of Flicker, I must clarify, rather his own inability to recognize his unhealthy patterns of coping), but Jim was wrecked. It was never explicitly explained, but avians are much more fond of children than most species. Avians, in my head, aren’t really great at surviving (living a long life, I mean). They’re a bit more frail because they need to be light enough to fly, and in Hub, their feathers are very highly sought after in black markets. So, to compensate, they value children very dearly. They don’t often have more than one, so they put in a lot of effort to make sure they stay alive. Naturally, avians have higher than normal parental instincts. Which means: anything baby shaped, they are quite inclined to imprint on.

I’m sure you can guess what happened to Jim.

He really did try to keep a rational brain for his and Tango’s sake. But eventually, his avian mind just took over, and he couldn’t see her as anything but his daughter. That’s why he began hugging and kissing her way before they even agreed to keep her. That wasn’t him being inconsiderate to Tango, that was just him doing what felt natural. Keep in mind: if Tango still chose to give Flick away in some weird alternate time line, Jimmy would’ve put everything away for his boyfriend’s sake.

But that’s also where his problem is. Jimmy would put everything away for the sake of the people he loves.

I feel like that comes from him being raised as a canary. As canaries quite literally used to be sacrificed for the coal miners’ lives. (Think of this character trait of me adding canonical canary curse into my fic. I’m so evil).

Jimmy values himself, yes, but he can’t help but put on a brave face even when it hurts. Because he DID NOT want to give away Flicker. He kept it all inside, except for chapter 11 when he finally admitted that he genuinely saw her as his child.

“…And I’d do anything for you, but losing a child is a lot.”

^^(That’s one of my favorite lines in the whole fic, let me tell you!)

Jimmy serves as Tango’s anchor as well as his driving motivation to do… well, anything. Joe even said that they were so proud of him for dating Jim because I feel like he took care of himself a lot more when Jimmy came into his life. Joe also says that Jim’s too nice to fight Tango on giving away Flicker, which is true. (Joe’s conversation will be talked about more in his section. I’m holding back from ranting about it rn LMAO)

But that’s Jimmy! That’s his biggest problem. Other than that, he’s the same funny, caring, and goofy mf. You see this during the fic quite a lot. Jim’s just a fun guy to write and I really loved him. I just wanted more of his struggles to come out a bit later in the fic to add to the angst lol.

(I’m surprised yall stuck around with how much I was makin yall suffer 😭)

-MUMBO’S CHARACTER-

Mud_Oblis asked: MUMBO PARALLELISM!!! I've mentioned it once before, but I would love to know more about that suspicious parallelism between Mumbo and Tango (I see it >:3)

YOU CAUGHT ME RED HANDED! LOCK ME UP!! /silly

BUT YEA! That was intentional! (Most of the details like that are intentional, so that’s why I encouraged people to dig their claws into the story lololol)

When I read that comment on chapter 12 (I think chapter 12) I was literally giggling in my classroom like a maniac and my partner looked at me like I was nuts (valid reaction). I was so happy someone noticed! It was a more subtle detail in my eyes, so I lowkey thought no one would get it BUT HERE WE ARE!!!

So if anyone else didn’t see this lovely person’s other comment, they basically said that Mumbo’s and Tango’s healing process kinda mirror each other and their reactions to other people’s support help them reach out n’ stuff. Which is exactly what I was going for, so props for getting it right on the money!

So I’m gonna lowkey use their comment to help explain it because I’m like struggling to think of the words LMAOO

So, Tango wasn’t actively thinking about this, these progressions in character development, but it does exist!

Mumbo is a parallel to Tango in the sense that they’re both running from something. For Tango it’s his past and for Mumbo it’s his inadequacy (Mumbo has imposter syndrome like crazy). While Tango runs from his issues is a metaphorical (sometimes literal) way, Mumbo is all the way. He literally runs from his issues by disappearing to be alone. Yes, Mumbo did need a break, however, instead of telling anyone, he just up and left. He couldn’t stand being around people he thought were miles better than him.

They find themselves kind of in the same place, which is why Mumbo feels relaxed talking to Tango in person, but is terrified of talking to anyone else. You see this in chapter 12 when he visibly relaxed once Mumbo realizes the intruder is just Tango. (Mumbo feels like Tango is the only person on the server who could understand)

That’s also why Tango actively searches for Mumbo in Chapter 12. (Okay, well, not *actively*, but he’s drawn to the spot Mumbo showed him in hopes of coming across him).

Both of them suffer from the fear of facing their fears. When Mumbo shows up to the rift in chapter 14, that’s him facing his fears. He had come to his friends and openly admitted how he needed a break. That’s why he ran without telling anyone! He was terrified of admitting he needed help to a group of people he already felt inferior to. He wanted to make sure they didn’t think of him any less.

What Mumbo never accounted for was that his friends are just good people, and they understand completely.

Same thing with Tango!

They both learn through each other that their friends are their family, are their support system, and that’s what finally pushes them to take the first, difficult step towards healing!

There is another thing Mumbo’s character serves as. See, I don’t know if anyone noticed this, but Tango has three major conversations with three specific players that impact his journey. These conversations just so happen to tie into the very first people he meets in the over world. First, he meets Mumbo.

He meets Mumbo in a random field of grass after he fell through a miniature rift in the nether. Mumbo, at least back then, was the type of person to trust people immediately. He was just so friendly and welcoming (not that he isn’t like that anymore, he’s just older and wiser now), and that definitely impacted Tango. Mumbo was his first ever friend. And that’s another reason why they are so comfortable around each other.

(Note: so basically I thought that the creation of season 2 cause a small rift to open in hub, but since the rift was pretty remote within the nether, no one really found it until months later. And it was Tango who came across it and entered Hermitcraft through there. I also thought Flick came to Hermitcraft through a similar way, given that the HermitcraftxEmpires crossover opened up a rift inside Hub as well :3)

Mumbo served as the unrelenting kindness and peace he’d never been able to have. Tango had only met one human prior to then, and thought that humans hated all Hellions (not that he blamed them for it). But to be faced with that kind of trust immediately was something Tango kind of needed.

That’s why his conversation with Mumbo served as him beginning to open up. Mumbo was the easiest to talk to because he’d known him for so long. Mumbo is a friendlier conversation. Mumbo is the beginning of his healing journey (always had been if you really think about it). That’s his job! He’s the friend Tango needs, as Mumbo’s pretty blunt when he wants to be.

Why Mumbo? Because I feel like there isn’t enough Mumbo and Tango friendships out there! I mean, irl Tango is in Hermitcraft because of Mumbo, if I remember correctly. Like… IDK I JUST LOVE EM

I hope one day people will get on the Mumbo and Tango band wagon 🙏

-XISUMA’S CHARACTER-

OOOOO XISUMAAAA (I love him so much hdjdhjshjsk)

Xisuma is the second person Tango meets, and is skeptical but welcoming at first. Him and Tango ARE friends, but there is an underlying father-son relationship between them. (But if you ask me, that relationship is pretty one sided, as Xisuma sees himself as equal to all of his friends).

Tango respects him so, so much, and searches for his validation all of the time. Which is why, when X gets super stressed and kinda crashes out, Tango has a very negative reaction.

See, X genuinely wants the best for his players, as he’s the admin and it’s his responsibility. In my head, I felt as though he was probably a bit uhh… traumatized from the whole Evil X thing (insert season 8 moon crashing trauma lololol). That’s kinda why he freaked out at Flicker and not Tango; he was just more experienced.

When he was new to the admin thing, X was much more lax on tons of things. But with time came millions of gone-wrong instances and he kinda hardened at a leader.

So, naturally, that bond between him and Tango really began to turn a bit paternal, and with that, came a lot of unknown pressure on Xisuma to not screw up.

But when X shut down the server (and when he had an episode), Tango kinda got that same feeling from his own dad. Xisuma’s conversation with Tango kinda shows Tango that while a parental figure (specifically a father figure) can make mistakes, and they can hurt you, but that doesn’t make them bad people. The active effort to fix their issues and take accountability doesn’t nullify their actions, but instead begins the process of amendment. A parent can make a mistake, but the important thing is how they fix it.

And that was the point of the conversation. That is the point of his character. That’s his purpose in my story.

(I loved writing him, even if he was an ass for a good chunk of the story.)

-JOE HILLS’ CHARACTER-

Joe Hills is the third and last big conversation in the story. This one is the biggest moments and causes Tango to genuinely begin questioning himself.

Joe was the third person Tango met, and he did NOT like Tango at all. This wasn’t Tango’s fault, not at all! Like Joe mentioned in the actual story, he was born to a less than tolerant family. And thus, he was raised in a less than tolerant environment. That isn’t his fault! Nor was his ignorance his fault, but his imperfectness comes from his stubbornness to learn.

(Note: So, I mentioned this in one of my notes in the fic previously, but Joe was meant to be the protagonist of this story instead of Tango. But then Tango just had better narrative potential and stuff lol. I wanted to include him, even if he wasn’t the main character because I just loved him so much. And I chose to have his character arc be finished by the time he talks about it. His character arc does tie into him being southern (from the states). The intolerance, I mean. This isn’t a read on southern people at all, as I’m southern as well (if that wasn’t obvious by how much I say y’all). Again, I’m just using my personal experience and putting it into the story because it’s important to me 🤷‍♀️. And from personal experience, I’ve learned that ignorance is a bad thing, but you really can’t blame someone for being ignorant, as they literally didn’t know any better. Doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it’s good to keep in mind. What you CAN blame is choosing to stay ignorant when given the option to learn. And that’s why Joe isn’t a total piece of shit! It took awhile, but eventually he was able to right his wrongs and educate himself. And we should applaud that!!! Character growth is important, no matter your background!)

When Joe originally sought out answers for the question of ‘Why isn’t this weird Hellion guy not ripping all of our faces off?’, he only used one source that confirmed all of his biases. So, for the longest time, his opinion didn’t change. But when Tango STILL didn’t snap or turn on the hermits, he eventually got tired of being confused and angry and went to find more answers that were probably more reliable. And then he did! He found a history book written by a Hellion. And that’s how he began to learn.

And then Joe took those first steps towards accountability by learning as much as he could about Tango. Because what wasn’t really said in the fic, was that he was beginning to really like Tango! Even when Joe still didn’t like him for being a Hellion. Joe chose to swallow his pride FOR Tango!

And that’s how they connect!

They both hated Hellions; one coming from an ignorant background and the other coming from a traumatic background where it was easier to agree with the opposing side for the sake of survival.

Joe’s whole argument is ‘If I could learn about Hellions and beat my own intolerance, how are you just as bigoted towards your own people?’

Because the shocking difference between them is that Joe was tired of sitting in the constant confusion of what he was told as a child vs. his personal experiences. Tango was okay with being a hypocrite as long as he didn’t have to think about his past too hard.

That’s why Joe was so, so upset. He wanted the best for Tango, he wanted Tango to just see what he saw, and he was so tired of Tango’s self destructive cycles, he dealt with it himself.

Xisuma tried the ‘tough love’ practice by forcing Tango to take care of Flick, but Joe finally got through to Tango by using that exact same tactic. Because I believe ‘tough love’ isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just how much/when it’s used.

Joe is the living proof that just because you were born in a specific environment, doesn’t mean hope is lost for you. Anyone can grow past their toxic roots.

(Aka being a chain-breaker 😋)

And that’s why I loved writing him so, so, so much.

-TANGO’S MOTHER’S CHARACTER-

I feel like it is very obvious what role Tango’s mother is meant to fulfill in the story. Ahem- it’s the role of a mother. But specifically a very damaged yet very caring and loving woman. She went through hell along with her son, but gave her everything just to make his life just that much better. She wasn’t perfect, as she was working with what she had, but she did everything she could.

She’s often portrayed in this ethereal and ghostly way (not in the memories, no, but in the current day! She makes several appearances as a spectral being throughout the story). And if you’re like ‘seriously? Ghosts?’ then all I have to say is this:

Yea ofc there’s ghosts this world is fantasy.

Like- obviously I try to add some realism, like I’ve said (sometimes I feel like a broken record when I rant about this stuff ;-;), but something are just gonna be magical. And his mother is one of those things! When Tango speaks of feeling another body near him, he literally feels his mother’s presence. Which only adds to her character of being the ‘caring woman who still dotes on her baby boy even if she isn’t here anymore’.

I can’t name every instance, but I’m sure you can think of several where you might have been like ‘what the hell is she on about?’

Like when Tango sings the lullaby to Flicker after Scarland! I think I say something along the lines of ‘He feels like someone else is singing the song for him’. That’s his mom! Literally singing the song! And when he’s on the deck of his house in the epilogue, when he talks about having all of his family there, he mentions feeling his mother’s presence! She’s there too! (But as the years have gone by, her presence in his life has grown more and more faint as he grows up, matures, and as he heals from his trauma. Do with that information as you will).

So in the last dream sequence when he speaks to his mother, that’s his actual mother talking! It’s always been her! She’s been watching him and helping him throughout the entire story. Because she loves him that much. And I love her to DEATH because she’s such an angel (who may have kissed the son of a saint goodnight? /j)

(Maybe I’ve mentioned it before, but the lullaby is about Ryea as much as it is also kinda about his mother. In a metaphorical sense.)

Anyways! That’s as much as I have to say. I just needed to clarify that his mother is, indeed, a ghost!

-FLICKER’S CHARACTER-

Okay, so Flicker’s character is a bit unique.

Her purpose in the story is literally her name. She IS that spark of hope that things didn’t always have to be the same. She was the child of a chain-breaker. And she was given the freedom to be her own person away from the literal centuries of generational trauma.

And later, she finds her purpose to be helping the Hellions who can’t get out, get out. That’s why she works for a charity organization for Hellions. That’s why she’s going to the nether. That’s just who she is.

Her existence as a baby was meant to show Tango that Hellions weren’t naturally bad. She showed Tango he could be a good dad. She was his reason to get up and take care of himself, because he valued her more than himself. (Of course, over time and therapy, he learned how to get up and take care of himself FOR himself).

There isn’t much to say about her character that hasn’t already been said. Her purpose was to give people hope, and she does just that.

…

BUT I WILL SAY:

There is something that I feel like NO ONE NOTICED and it drove me crazy! Because I felt like I was being so obvious! Back in chapter three when Tango names her, I felt like I was being so freaking apparent that her name and Tango’s name were the same! Obviously I tried to be somewhat ambiguous, because then the reveal wouldn’t hit as hard, BUT I WAS LOSING MY MIND!

Here’s the actual text:

Unfortunately for Tango, Jim didn’t like that answer because the Hellion soon earned a smack on the back of his head, “She’s not a dog, Tango, she’s a baby. Give her a gosh darn name!”

Tango nodded and apologized, “Yea, you’re right, sorry.”

He thought for a second, then a moment, then a minute, then for a god damn while. He just couldn’t think of any name, nothing suit her enough and nothing seemed to call out to him off the top of his head.

…

“Your name is older than our ancestors,”

Tango paused, allowing the fur on the back of his neck stand on end.

“Do you know why I chose it to be yours?”

He didn’t know why, really, even now. Names were meant to mean something more, but not the one he was given. He didn’t deserve it, not in a million years.

But she might be something greater than him. Far away, in a distant place and in a different family. Tango selfishly wished he could see the day he’d be great.

But she’d be named his way, this time. She’d be given a name that actually meant something here, in this dimension.

She’ll have a beautiful name that matched her beautiful face.

“Flicker is a cute name,” Tango whispered, watching her red hair shimmer like enchantments in this light. And he hoped his hair shimmered half as pretty as hers.

I THOUGHT I WAS SO ON THE NOSE? Maybe I’m crazy. Let me know if I’m freaking crazy LMAO.

On that topic, a lot of people theorized that Flicker and his mom had the same name, which was a good theory! It was pretty solid! And I saw where a ton of people were coming from, and honestly, that answer probably made more sense than ‘they had the same name’. (I still stand by my decisions >:( /silly)

But to be honest, Tango’s mom doesn’t have a name. Like- she does have a name, I just don’t know what it is. Same thing with his dad; I just never gave them proper names. And I think I’d like to keep it like that. Because they weren’t ever meant to have them. Tango never got to know their names, because he was literally a baby and what mom is like ‘my name is Linda btw my one year old son’ ykwim???

Which I suppose also adds to the tragedy of his mom’s character. ‘Cause like… he never got to know his mother’s name. And she’ll forever be simply known as Tango’s mom.

————————————
SYMBOLISM
————————————

Mud_Oblis asked: Kind of a big one but... all those times you've replied to comments saying you don't want to reveal what your symbolism was because you want to leave it up to reader interpretation... I really want to know lol (ofc this is a HUGE ask so I understand if you don't wanna do this one)

I would LOVE to talk about my symbolism!

Yes, I didn’t want to say anything in the comments, because I didn’t want to affect people’s reading experiences too much. But now that the story is over, and this chapter is pretty optional for people to read, I have no problem saying the things I wanna say!

I suppose for the people who do want to keep their interpretations about the symbolism but read everything else, just skip this little section! Really, just skip any part you don’t wanna read, I’m not your mom lol do what ya like.

But yes! This whole section is just gonna be me talking about ALL of the symbolism in the fic! (I’m praying I didn’t miss anything LMAO)

-LILIES-

I’m sure yall want to know about the lilies.

The concept was first introduced in chapter 8 when Scar tries to keep a Frost Lily alive in a special pot. Scar’s all about color pallets, so I thought he’d try to force a Frost Lily to exist in the summer with some convoluted plan. When Tango first sees a lily, it’s all wilted and dead. He had a bit of an internal moment and he says that flowers aren’t supposed to die. He saw his new friends as flowers (he says ‘new friends’, referring to the Hermits back in the earlier seasons of Hermitcraft).

After that, lilies are often tied to this sense of hope (a lot of things are tied to hope) and resilience. While lilies have their own separate meaning, purity and rebirth, which can tie into the over all morals of the story, I chose to give them something else.

The lilies I made were a seasonal species of lily. You know how foxes get white coats in the winter and brown or red coats in the summer? The lilies function like that. They change with the seasons to better adapt. In the summer and spring, they need bright, vibrant colors for pollinators to be attracted to. And in the winter, they need to blend into the snow more to avoid any herbivores from eating them. These changes in color happen due to the change in soil and air temperature. The reason Scar’s lily died was because the soil was cold and the air was hot. It confused the lily and killed it.

Though, I bet you’re wondering, then why on earth was there a Fire Lily in the snow? Great question!

Answer: just a mutation in the colors lol. It’s not some grand magical moment from Tango’s mother beyond the grave or anything (not that anyone thought that, I’m just being silly). While it’s simply a coincidence, that doesn’t retract from its value in my eyes. If anything, I feel like it adds to the importance. Out of all places the lily could’ve grown, it grew out of the rotted apple that Tango threw. It just so happened to be red. And even though it probably wouldn’t last much longer after when Tango first saw it, the flower still serves its purpose.

Even in seemingly impossible environments, surrounded by death and rot, with all odds against you, even against your biology, you can still blossom and grow into something beautiful.

And, knowing that, we can connect these flowers to Flicker. After all, all of her baby stuff is covered in lilies. These flowers represent hope and resilience, and Flicker is the hope (hence her name).

But these flowers are also connected with Tango. The table that he sits at with his mother is carved with lilies. They are the resilience of the lily. Despite the hell they went through, they also found the opportunity to bloom.

And that’s why seeing one die meant so much to Tango. Because he subconsciously associated them with that character growth and the ability to heal. Seeing one die was like watching your last spark of hope die.

And when he fell going to the party, he says he saw a spark in the snow. He assumes it’s a stray torch, but no! It’s actually the just blooming Fire Lily that he sees in chapter 13! And because those flowers are his hope, they are his Flicker, he chooses to fly instead of hit the ground.

AND UGH I LOVE IT. I LOVE SYMBOLISM.

These lilies are the embodiment of his will to keep going, even when all hope seems lost. Because if a little red flower can bloom in a tundra, he can find the strength to keep going.

-EGGS-

Mud_Oblis asked: Ofc we're starting off with the EGGS and such. As an advocate for the eggs flashback, I would love to know what you intended those dreams to mean--- especially the one where the nest falls out of the tree.

YES! The constant motif of eggs had a very important meaning! I’m sure you noticed (I know you’ve noticed LMAO).

Eggs’ first real notable mention happens in the seventh chapter. It’s when he has a dream of a mysterious curly haired Hellion girl as he sits at a cliff’s edge (Yes, the curly haired girl is grown up Flicker OoOoO foreshadowing!) Eggs fall from a birds nest and shatter on the floor. The yolks snake their way up to Tango’s throat and begins to strangle him. He keels over from the sensation and vomits.

Second time is in chapter 10 during another dream sequence. This dream is chocked full of symbolism, and I’m sure you all appreciated that lol. So, he sees a mirror and steps towards it. As he walks, he steps on a fallen nest filled with bird eggs. The mother bird is lying on the grass, bleeding and dying. Her eggs lay shattered in the grass under Tango’s feet.

Third time is in the Joe chapter (chapter 12). It’s in ANOTHER dream sequence. It’s right after Tango runs out of the void and into a flower field. He is met with the sight of a black, scraggly tree (a Brinha tree, fun fact!) and two birds making a nest. (I’ll get into the importance of birds in a bit!). Inside of the nest, despite him not being able to see it, he knows there is an egg. Even when the monster catches up to him, the egg doesn’t break and shatter. And knowing that it’s okay gives him peace. Knowing that it won’t break gives him the strength to face his monster.

So what does it mean?

I feel as though it’s a common motif for eggs in media to have a common symbolic nature. And I am no better, so they have the commonly accepted meaning.

Eggs represent childhood, innocence, and naivety. And the breaking of those eggs represent the loss of that innocence.

Tango’s childhood could hardly be called that. Not only was he forced to mature in a way no child should, but he was faced with hundreds of decisions that would haunt any grown man for their entire life. So, even in his dreams, he’s constantly reminded of the innocence he lost by eggs breaking.

That’s why the morning after the first dream, the one by a cliff, he couldn’t look at eggs for a bit. It was genuinely sickening to remember. These memories pain him, and the pain of growing up hurts him worse. That’s also why Flicker growing up was so hard for him. Seeing the eggs break was hard for him, even if it was a chick and not yolk.

(Therapy does wonders, y’all. That’s the true moral of the story LMAO)

In the final dream sequence that features the symbol of an egg, it’s safely in a nest guarded by two bird dads (yes, the birds are both boys, and it’s more symbolic shit that I’ll talk about later). Even when the ‘monster’ comes and consumes Tango whole, the egg is still safe.

Because even when Tango has to deal with his own demons, he makes sure the egg never breaks. He makes sure her innocence is preserved until she’s ready to grow.

-SHARDS OF GLASS AND REFLECTIONS-

This one is rather short, because there isn’t much to say, but this was a piece of symbolism so I have to include it LOL

When it comes to reflections, we see it first when he was his big panic attack in chapter 5, I’m pretty sure. What triggers it is a dream of seeing himself as his father, and what worsens it is the sight of himself in a mirror.

Tango is terrified of looking at his reflection and no longer seeing himself. The mirrors are either his confirmation that he’s NOT or that he IS his father.

So, the first time shards of glass is in chapter 9 within a dream where he sees his mother. He is instructed to walk on a path of glass where his feet begin to bleed (because it’s literally glass). The glass is described as blue-ish with reflections of ‘memories long forgotten’. This happens again in chapter 10 when Tango punches a mirror with a reflection of his father. These shards of glass reflect his bad memories.

The shards of glass represent how bad memories can deeply affect someone. In the dream where he’s forced to walk on those shards, his mother begs him to leave such a dark place. He chooses to stay because the pain is comfortable, even though there is literally glass in his feet. Even with all of his bad memories, he chooses to let them fester in his mind, even though they hurt them.

(I always thought that therapy would probably help guide him off of the glass, bandage his feet, and offer a hand in creating a mural out of the pieces. The bad memories never leave, but your perspective of them can change 🫶)

-APPLES AND ROT-

It’s not a mystery that Tango loves Jimmy’s eyes. He mentions it basically all of the time and that specific shade of brown becomes Tango’s favorite color. (get a room amiright? IM KIDDING).

But what I did want to add is that he didn’t always love the color brown.

A small detail that only a few people noticed was that most Hellions die with brown hair. Tango actually hated the color brown for a long time.

See, when things rot, what color does it usually become? Brown. When blood dries, what color does it usually become? Brown. When all is said and done, what color will we become once we return to the earth? Brown.

For Tango, the color brown was the end. It was death and disease, and it was the rot that Hellions existed as. His father calls the entire species rot, and says they deserved to die.

That’s why the apple rotting has been a motif since chapter one.

Tango is the apple. His trauma and his pain is his rot. The self hate is the oxidization in the flesh of the fruit. That rot attracts flies and worms. But from that rot, came something new. Something beautiful.

From the rot came a Fire Lily in a tundra. A miracle.

(I always associated the thought of Tango’s mother, Tango, and Flicker to those lilies in my head :) you don’t have to, that’s just my idea lolol)

-FALLING-

As much as I’d love to rant about this, I have to give it to Stellar_Stars for just blowing it out of the water when it came to describing what I had in mind. Round of applause for this person!!

Stellar_Stars said: Also I adore the poetic bits you have, like sometimes its poems, and other times is just lovely wording. But they make my fuckin day. The part where Tango was letting himself fall, and all the "imagery" you've placed on falling before. He fell when running away from guys in the nether, he jumped and fell into the OverWorld, he's fallen before just to feel it again, he's falling into a spiral of thoughts rn, and he's been falling away from his old self over and over again.
And when he falls, things change for him.

I freaked out when I read this. I was tweaking cause I couldn’t say ANYTHING! Because the story was getting good and I didn’t want to spoil or influence my readers! The PAIN!!!

But serious props to this person for absolutely NAILING what I had in mind. I could not at all explain it better (if I tried I would just go on a rant LOLOL).

-FLIGHT AND BIRDS-

Mud_Oblis asked: This one is a specific symbolism: birds/flight
I was just sorta thinking, and I've noticed a couple small things about the avians in tango's life (and also he died specifically by elytra so...) and I feel like there's something there...? And like the fact his husband is an avian, and the time they encountered Maybell seemed to go along with emotional realizations but idk...

If falling is usually what happens when Tango is at a low point, then flying is the opposite.

Flying is the ability to overcome one’s fears! It’s the freedom from your past and it’s the ability to look past the pain you’ve experienced. Flying is a promise of a better tomorrow, as it’s the literal opposite of falling.

When he chooses to fly instead of fall, that’s him actively choosing to surmount his troubles. He’s choosing to get better, even though the easier thing to do is just fall. He chooses to brace the wind resistance (the wind resistance is the struggles experienced by healing).

And on the topic of flying, let’s talk about birds! His husband is literally an avian, and their whole schtick is flying! Wanna know that that means? Jimmy is Tango’s reason for fighting. That’s pretty apparent throughout the fic, but Jim flies first, and Tango follows. Because he doesn’t want to die from fall damage right behind his boyfriend (and I guess now husband).

And flying is also a promise he makes to Jim in chapter 14 as a way of saying ‘I’ll never hurt myself like that again’. It’s his way of healing and it’s his way of promising. While he still might trip and tumble, Tango will choose to get back up.

In the dream sequence where Tango was met with the other version of himself, he’s also met with the black tree with a birds nest. The two birds inhabiting it are a canary and a mockingbird. Obviously, Jim is meant to be the canary. That’s not even a question. And my astute readers must be wondering, ‘then that leaves Tango to be the mockingbird. Why is he a mockingbird?’

Great question!

So, if you are (or were) an American high schooler, then you have read ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. Idk if you Brits (or other Europeans) have read it, which I don’t blame you if you haven’t. Basically, the book takes place in the American South during the Great Depression-Jim Crow era. And it is such a great story. Like I said, I don’t know if Europeans would read it like us, BUT I must suggest reading it if you haven’t because if you think I had a lot of symbolism then… (Yes, I really loved the book. Even though we were forced to read it, I found great pleasure in it. It’s a fantastic book 🫶). But as I was saying, the reason I chose to make Tango the mockingbird is simply the name of the book! I won’t spoil for anyone who hasn’t read it, but the significance of the Mockingbird is the same in this story.

And I mean that by saying Tango is not the mockingbird, but he is a mockingbird. And I do want to elaborate on that, but I really don’t want to spoil the book!!! If you want to know, and haven’t read the book or are just confused, just ask in the comments and I’ll elaborate!

————————————
HELLSPEAK
————————————

TheAlgebriacHamster asked: I am curious if hellspeak was based off a certain language or if you made it up (you may have already said this and I'm misremembering) but I'd be really interested in a brief break down of the language. Only if you'd want to of course.

WatcherForge asked (‘asked for’ more like lmaoooo): Ditto on going into the language! I'm such a sucker for a Conlang, so I wanna know all of the intricacies on top of any resources you used while making it!

…
WOW.

I suppose a lot of you wanna know about Hellspeak! Which I am ALL FOR blabbering about because I’m linguistically and etymologically in love with languages. I just never expected for people to be as on board with it as you guys are! And I’m ALL FOR IT!!! (I think this one facet of the story had the most questions! Besides the Miscellaneous segment, which doesn’t really count in my opinion LMAO).

So I guess I should start with what the language is based off of / the language it’s most similar to!

Hellspeak is very, very similar to Brazilian Portuguese! I’m a sucker for the Romance languages, and it clearly shows. Specifically, it has a lot of Portuguese vowels and consonants. These are and are not limited to: A, E, I, O, and U, other written forms like Ã, Õ, Â, Ê, Ô, and accented versions such as Á, É, Í, Ó, Ú, and À. (As well as Ç for written consonants).

Phonetically, it is very similar to Brazilian Portuguese, if not identical. I always pictured it to sound as such! And I always thought that Tango would have a very distinct accent for a long time, but smothered it into an American accent just to get away from his native language speaking roots. (Also to explain why he doesn’t have an accent normally lol).

Grammatically, it’s almost exactly identical to Portuguese. Which, for those of you who aren’t aware (I’m mainly saying this for the Americans lowkey :( I’m sorry y’all, we can be dumb) Portuguese and Spanish have incredibly, incredibly similar grammar systems. Say YAY for Romance languages! That means there are conjugations and stuff! YAY! I LOVE CONJUGATIONS! So, if you know some Spanish, then you’ll understand Hellspeak a little more.

Equally, Romance languages are kind of, and I mean kind of, similar to Germanic languages like English. You’ll see similarities for sure, which makes Romance languages a little easier to learn for us! I say that to clarify that sentence structures are mostly similar to English. Mostly. Understand that there are quite a few differences, but the gist of it’s pretty much the same.

And to answer WatcherForge’s question about if I had any references, I gotta say, I didn’t really have any! Besides my deep dives into language history at 3am, most of it comes from the years of experience learning Spanish. (And my recent obsession with Portuguese. It just sounds so neat, and I love the Ç consonant very much). The only real textbook research I have done for etymology and linguistics n’ stuff is when I had to make a faux-TedTalk for a school project where I discussed the history of the words Chai and Tea (Invoked by a random TikTok I saw one time lol).

I’m just a HUGE HUGE nerd about languages and it really shows 😭. And I’m an even bigger nerd about Romance languages. (Besides French, screw French.)

(I’m so kidding about the French thing 🙏 /gen)

Aries_the_Man_in_the_Chicken_Costume asked: The one question I can think of, in one of the flashbacks there was a character named RyeaTek and I wonder if that name and the name TangoTek have like a connection? At first I thought it might mean the name Tango might belong to some deity as well?

ACK OKAY IM GONNA NERD OUT RQ

So, his name was RyaTek, BUT you aren’t wrong about the connection to Ryea. Nor are you wrong about the connection with TangoTek. HOWEVER, not in the way you think they are connected. (I’m so excited to rant about this little tiny detail that adds nothing to the plot 😭)

So:
When it comes to English last names, they were invented a long time ago to differentiate people once the populations in villages got bigger. Like-

“Have you seen John?”
“John’s right there.”
“No, the other John!”
“There’s fifteen Johns in this town!”

So they basically made names based on certain characteristics. Like places you were born, your lineage (Johnson - son of John, O’Connor - son of Connor), physical appearance (young), or occupation (smith). (I got these examples from ancestry.com lol).

ALSO, Tango’s name is a literal word. It’s like someone being named ‘Grace’ or ‘Hope’. While, yes, these are names, they are also words we use in everyday speech. While this isn’t an exact example, because canonically TangoTek is akin to an Old English word, it’s still pretty similar. This comes into play.

Because you know how a normal ass name like Grayson or something has some weird meaning behind it? Or any normal sounding name for that matter? That’s because it once had that meaning, and it no longer had the ‘name’ connotation. To clarify, names have these old meanings that we’ve forgotten because we’ve gotten used to thinking of them as just names.

I pictured that TangoTek was kinda like that. While Tango’s family passed down the traditional name, other Hellion families let etymology (and cultural diffusion and shit) do its thing, and they forgot the origin. RyaTek has ‘Tek’ in his name because of the word TangoTek. And TangoTek meant something positive like ‘hope’ so it was easier to pass down.

I guess the ‘Tek’ part of TangoTek is kinda like our equivalent of putting the name ‘leigh’ behind other perfectly normal names. So think of it like that.

AND ALSO: You know how some names come from other names? Like how the French name ‘Jaques’ comes from the name Jesus? I kinda thought that’s where the part ‘Rya’ came from. As it’s literally Ryea without the ‘e’.

(Quick note: I’ve been saying TangoTek meant ‘hope’ but that’s lowk kind of wrong. Like, yes, it does mean ‘hope’, but it means more than that. Tango said that it roughly translates into ‘a flicker of hope’ and that’s where he got Flicker’s name. To do a comparison to a different irl language, let’s use Brazilian Portuguese! There’s a word called ‘Saudade’ that’s meant to describe the feeling of missing someone. We, obviously, don’t have a word for that feeling, because we just say we ‘miss someone’.)

So, to conclude my little rant, RyaTek comes from both the names Ryea AND TangoTek as a result of natural name formations that we’ve studied throughout history :)

(I pray I explained that alright)

4nt1th3s1s asked (requested, I guess?): Anyway, I do want to know more about the wonderful language of Hellspeak! How it works, if you derived it from anything, if there’s a direct translation, etc!!

I can and will absolutely give you a direct translation! Plus some extra ones I added for fun :)
Know that I don’t have the entire language planned out (obviously, hello?) but I did add some other additions for context and stuff.

Here’s the list! All Hellspeak words mentioned in the work (that I could find and remember +some others):

Aue - Hello!

Affá - dad (Affáse - father (formal))

Pamá - mom (Pamáse - mother (formal))

Pailá - Grandma/gramma/grammy/whatever you can your grandma (Pailáse - grandmother (formal))

Tailá - Grandpa/gramps/whatever you call your grandpa (Tailáse - grandfather (formal))

Paré - sister (Parése - older sister, Parélo - younger sister (both used formally or in formal contexts))

Taré - brother (Tarése - older brother, Tarélo - younger brother (both used formally or in formal contexts))

Tõ - Bye! (Can serve as a ‘no way!’ Similar to ‘get out of town!’ Or ‘girl, bye’)

crossan - sit down (Crossar-to sit, -an conjugation, tone indicates a command phrase)

Bralho - honey/sweetie (term of endearment)

Rolha chãore - ‘Fucking Animal’ (Rolha-animal/creature, chãore-fuck/other expletive)

Prahlaçao - waste/garbage/trash

Brinha - doesn’t mean anything! Just a name for the wood

Terk so Naah - What in the Hells (Terk-what, so-in/on, Naah-nether/hell/hells, has a connotation similar to ‘what on earth’ in the context of the Hellion’s place in the nether)

ShatteringStardust asked: What does "Affáse" mean?

I know someone already answered you in the comment section, but I’d like to add onto this! Yes, Affáse means ‘father’, and is only used formally. Like, when you’re introducing your dad to someone or if your dad is uptight or smth.

Tango used Affáse for his own father for all of his childhood. And thus, he doesn’t like being called that. It’s why when Mayor is being a bit of a smart ass by calling his dad ‘Affáse’, Tango gets offended and scolds him. Of course, it’s not Mayor’s fault, because he doesn’t really know why, he just knows what it means. So Tango’s pretty lax about it and doesn’t really let it get under his skin.

This also ties into something I’ve been wanting to mention. While this wasn’t the original purpose of the memory sequences (they were literally meant to give exposition and lore lmao), I began to think of them as Tango re-remembering his past in a new light. Let me explain:

So we know how many people think in certain languages? Like if your native language is Russian, but you know French and German (or something), then you’d still think in Russian. This obviously doesn’t apply to people who don’t have narration in their head, but for those who do. If your native language is English, you think in English. If your native language is Spanish, you think in Spanish. Etc, you get the point.

I began to think that the memories were originally in Hellspeak. Like, he’d remember them in his native language. But now that his Hellspeak is a bit rusty because he’s spoken nothing but English (obviously before the epilogue when he starts to actually start speaking his native tongue again), he’s beginning to think more in English. And now that he’s remembering things in English, he’s seeing things in a ‘new light’. And thus, from a different perspective. Because translations can change how you see a piece of media due to the connotation of the words within them. While the translation may be direct, it doesn’t always come across the same due to what certain words mean beyond the definition.

———————————————
HEAD CANONS/MISC TOPICS
———————————————

OKAYOKAYOKAY

So a lot of questions I slotted into the miscellaneous section because they didn’t really have a nice little box I could put them in. So I’m gonna go through all of the head cannons I had been jotting down while writing the story and then I’m gonna answer a ton of questions!!

So, here is a list of head cannons I have (even though I’m literally the author so I can do as I please), so enjoy!

TANGO LOVES SMELL
While it is in his biology to have a keen smell to identify family members or mates easily (Hellions have a tendency to look similar,) Tango personally prioritizes his family’s smell. He loves Jim’s and Flick’s and Mayor’s smells. It’s like when you get those essential oils for when you have anxiety or something.

As a baby, Flick adored Mumbo, even though he wasn’t super great with kids.

Flick still adores everything Jellie because why not? She was just a born can lover (me 2 girl, me 2)

Jimmy was over the moon when Tango wanted to be called “Affá” by their kids

Flick is not entirely Hellion! Super duper tiny detail, but I had said that Hellions usually look the same (with many things but in this context with straight or wavy hair). Flicker, on the other hand, has curly hair, which is not usually in the Hellion gene pool! Haven’t decided what she’s mixed with, but she’s not half ‘n half, more like 7/8ths Hellion 1/8th something else (maybe human but who knows lol)

Jimmy also learned some Hellspeak by proxy because Tango wanted Flick to know some. Mayor, their son (7 by epilogue), also knows some Hellspeak by default.

Mayor is a Bluejay. Which no one expected! Why, you may ask? Well, I thought it would be interesting for avian children to not be describable by species because they all have white-ish, gray-ish downy. Once their downy sheds, then their real wing color comes to life. Usually it’s not a mystery what an avian children would be, because they’d be the same type as their parents, but in Mayor’s case, he never knew what his parents were. So, his family just had to guess, and they were very wrong lol.

Mayor loves planes because he’s worried he won’t be able to properly fly! (His wings are a bit small. Not too small, but enough to be uncertain if he’ll be unable to. ‘Cause of that, he’s pretty close to Uncle Scar.) And Mayor’s favorite plane is a P-51 Mustang!

Tango’s father is canonically dead. Tango isn’t aware of this, and never knows for sure, but his father died soon after Tango was kicked out.

So the overworld is like, super duper big (according to Minecraft physics shit) and so is the nether. I imagined that it probably takes a long time to get to Hub’s border (insert Minecraft border lore). So, I imagined that it took just as long to get to the nether’s border. And because it takes so long. There’s virtually no one out there. Even though Hub is super crowded, they haven’t spread out that far away (it’s really big out there). And maybe I thought that there were Hellions just far out enough that they hadn’t encountered the over world yet and still lived their traditional nomadic lifestyle. Maybe there’s still Brinha trees out there! Who knows :p

QUESTIONS:

ozymxndias asked: Maybell's adoption: I was wondering what led up to it. Like, was it Jimmy's idea? Was it Tango's? I know it was mentioned that it wasn't Flicker's idea, so I'm curious. I wanna learn more about the silly little bluejay, if you've built on his character.

IVE ABSOLUTELY BUILT ON HIS CHARACTER! I love him to death (can you tell)

So when it came to his adoption, it was Jim who brought his existence up. I’ve mentioned it before, but Jim’s mom works with kids. I imagined that his mom probably mentioned a new baby boy that she was taking care of that needed to be adopted.

Jimmy probably mentioned it offhandedly while they were getting ready for bed or something, and Tango got to thinking. And so he thought and thought and he brought it up with his therapist a couple of times.

And it was actually Tango’s initial idea. While he was still super self-conscious about his parenting, he began to think about it. And Jim got super excited because HELLO? More kids? Jimmy loves kids! So Jim was like ‘really? Are you sure? Because I’m not opposed to the idea’

And Tango was like ‘Yea! Sure!’

So, they asked for Flicker’s permission, because she’d have to share her parent’s attention. And if she didn’t want a baby brother, they wouldn’t adopt him. They thought she was at that age where she had a valid say about the big things that went on in their family.

She was all for it and… well… then they did it! Mayor was now their son!

ThatKingOliver asked: I suppose I’m wondering what became of the rest of the hermits? And what’s with Lizzie and Joel’s kid? No other questions come to mind really…

Most of the hermits have their little families by now. They still live in Hermitcraft, obviously, but now they’re a bit more toned down. They’re all old now LMAO. I didn’t give too much information because I kinda wanted people to head cannon what they had in mind for the other hermits! Also, because I didn’t think too far into it. LOL. But yea! If you have your own ideas, go buck wild!

And as for Joel and Lizzie’s daughter, I just thought I’d add her! Why not? I haven’t thought too much into her other than the fact that she exists, so if you have your own ideas, go crazy!

ozymxndias asked: Flicker's girlfriend: I know the visit isn't important to the story, but I would also like to learn more about this. The parents' reactions to meeting her, considering how they felt about the previous boyfriend who we also don't know anything about (another thing I'm curious to learn more if you have a vision, if not, that's cool too, I just like analyzing the littlest of details).

forestgromlin asked: WHO IS FLICKER’S GIRLFRIEND? DO YOU HAVE SOMEONE IN MIND OR NAH?

Tango was definitely very hesitant to meet the girlfriend! Skye, the previous boyfriend, was a bit of a weirdo. So, Tango, being the protective dad he is, was incredibly nervous to meet her. Jimmy, on the other hand, was incredibly excited. Mayor was pretty indifferent, because as long as she liked planes, he didn’t care who was Flick’s partner.

But when they first met the girlfriend for real, she was an absolute sweetheart, so Tango didn’t mind her and Flick being together 🫶

So… I don’t have anything in mind particularly for her. Just that she’s an imp like Impulse, but really nothing else! So, if you have your own ideas, go crazy! I’m all for it!

Mud_Oblis asked: Does Maybell's name also have a special origin like Flicker's? Is it from Jimmy's culture or past?

Well, Mayor doesn’t have a real meaning in the avian culture. Jimmy just wanted a nice name for a son. BUT, Mayor’s nickname ‘Maybell’ came from Flicker when he was just a baby!

Mayor’s nickname is ‘Maybell’ because ‘May Bells’ are another name for Lily of the valley! And that is Flicker’s favorite flower! So, she kinda just saw a baby avian with patchy downy (he used to have little featherless wings lol) and was just like, ‘Yes, you are now my favorite person’. (Plus both names start with ‘May’ so yea I thought that would be cute)

ozymxndias asked: The other hermits: How are they doing? Kind of a general question, since Bdubs was reintroduced as one of Flicker's favorite people at one point. Does he still remain a favorite of hers, or has her favoritism shifted? Or, has it gotten to where there's not a particular lean to anyone besides her parents? I know they all had love for Flicker in her baby years, so I'm just interested in seeing how it developed.

Hermits are doing great! As I said, they have their own little families now, but they’re still good! They just have a little more gray hairs :)

And for the second part, that’s a really great question! So, Flicker used to be OBSESSED with Bdubs because of her horse obsession. She would go over to his base and they’d ride horses together. He’d teach her all of the tips and tricks to properly take care of them, and she just loved it. Bdubs was her favorite uncle when she was younger. Even though she’s much older now and isn’t as into horses, she and Bdubs still have a very special connection.

I always had this little head cannon that now whenever Bdubs sees her, he just yells, “Ah- there’s my girl!”
Why does he do that? Because it’s cute, that’s why. I made myself suffer through 13 chapters of angst. I deserve this fluff!! /silly

Still, though, she loves all of the hermits very much. Just cause Flicker and Bdubs just click (like how Mayor and Scar just click), doesn’t mean that she isn’t close with anyone else. Flicker is also really close with Mumbo and Skizz! But who wouldn’t be close with Skizz, let’s be honest? She doesn’t lean too heavily in any direction, but she does spend more time with certain Hermits than others. Same with Mayor!

Mud_Oblis asked: Uh and the last but not least question: what kind of sources did you use to write this (amazing and remarkably realistic) fic? Was is books or movies you've seen? Personal experiences? Friends' experiences? This might be too personal of a question if the fic is too heavily based of your real life, but if you are okay with it, I would love to discover how you cooked up this masterpiece!!

Don’t worry! My inspirations aren’t too close to home or anything. And honestly, I didn’t have too much outside influence on this. Most of my work just came from the good ‘ol think chamber!

So one of my first inspo’s was Omori! More of the amazing depictions of trauma and less of the actual plot n’ stuff. It made me cry so I was like ‘Good blueprint’ LOL anyways

Second is the Isle of Dogs. But specifically the “I was never a violent dog. I don’t know why I bite,” line. Also, just the general despair of the setting and stuff. Idk I just loved the art style when I first watched it and it really stuck with me :p

The third is probably the most obscure (idk it might not be and I’m crazy or smth) and it’s called ‘The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas’. It is a very good short story, and I highly recommend it :)))

LITTLE EXTRA TIDBITS!

So basically this fic was like 👌 this close to being named a lyric from a Crane Wives song. What song? Red Clay. It’s one of my favorites 🙏 The alternative title was going to be:
‘You Don’t Have to Do This the Hard Way’

And would yall like to know the two alternate endings that I considered? The first one takes place in the orphanage that they take her to. Tango would’ve been inches away from signing it before deciding he couldn’t do it and choses to run back to his daughter. IMO this would’ve been a much weaker ending, and I’m glad I didn’t choose it. Because it would’ve been a little more unrealistic, and as much as this is obviously fantasy, I didn’t want the ending to be super dramatic and emotional. The ending I chose WAS emotional, but it wasn’t like… too much? Idk, I feel like I chose the right thing.

Second alternate ending was actually suggested by my partner! I was telling them all about what I had planned, and I was showing off my playlist, and she stopped me at the song ‘Euthanasia’ by Will Wood. I added that song to be about Tango’s mother, to be specific. But she was like ‘Wait is Flicker gonna die?’ And I was like ‘NONONO! I promise she’s not!’
But they looked at me and just went, “Why not? That would be so good,”
And I just stood there, mouth agape. But I actually thought about it for a second, and I was like ‘maybe????’
So I told her, “I don’t know, maybe? My only hesitance is that she’s a bit young to die, you know?”
“Wait, like how young?”
“Three months ish.”
And their eyes went wide and they said, “NO! Don’t kill her! You should’ve said she was three months! I thought she was like five!”

Still don’t know how killing off a five year old is better than killing a 3 month old but it’s fine 😭😭 Don’t blame em! Just know that Flicker dying was considered, however I decided Tango had already dealt with more than enough!

Also, want to know a fun fact? The only reason female Hellions have that dot in the middle of their forehead is because I wanted Tango to know she was a girl without checking. Idk it just felt weird for the first thing for him to do when holding a baby was check to see if it was a girl or boy (Maybe I’m the problem, but also he was in front of a ton of other people and IDK MAYBE IM THE WEIRD ONE). Anyway, just thought that was interesting to note! Hellions have a dot when they’re a girl so that Tango could just look at her and know.

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BOTANY
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I know what you may be thinking. What, are we gonna talk about the plants in the nether next? Nope! We are actually gonna talk about what I have planned next.

So I’m pretty sure it’s not a super common thing on AO3 to like… talk about future works like a movie or something, but I don’t care! I wanna talk about it cause it’s been on my mind for about two months! And besides, it just gives yall motivation to stick around (I say jokingly)

So… first I’m gonna drop the synopsis, and then I’m gonna Drabble in some tiny, itsy bitsy details about the plot! I don’t wanna give away too much, just enough for yall to think about 🫶

(All of this may be subject to change)

Etho and a squad of Zombie-hating, Zombie-killing survivalists are neck deep in an apocalypse where the undead don’t die. On one of their monthly supply runs, Etho gets ambushed by an odd group of zombies and swears he’s dead. In comes a strange man with a cloak like a bush, a voice like an angel, and a strange ability to make flowers grow that instantly nullify the undead freaks.

HEHHEBEH IM SO EXCITED.

So this takes place in a 1990’s themed Chicago. (Note: it actually takes place in the early 2000’s, but the apocalypse started in the 90’s, so nothing has progressed lol)

Chicago is split into two major factions:

Group Zero: This is the group Etho is in. They have no problem butchering the zombie hoards and consider them a scourge on humanity. Group Zero lives within the abandoned metro system in Chicago and have barricaded the place into a tiny hub they call home. They were the first big faction in the city, and even in all of America, because Chicago is actually the birthplace of the apocalypse. Who knows how they managed to survive the apocalypse this long in a city?

The White Coats: A group of scientists who live on the city roofs on the other side of town lead by an impeccably dressed man with a cane and a killer smile. They don’t particularly like hurting the zombies, even if the undead don’t perish, because they see them as people. They, instead, use their superb technology that they brought from their home in Cambridge, Massachusetts to survive in such harsh conditions. Oh, yea, and they’re looking for the cure!

And there’s a few other tiny groups of people speckled around the city. Who knows? Maybe they’re all familiar faces :p

Other than that, nothing really happens. For Etho, it’s just protecting his home base, tending to their indoor farm, and going out every month or so in search of some extra supplies. Well, that is until a strange man rolls into town with an even stranger goal in mind:

Find two people he knows absolutely nothing about.

…and that’s all I can share without giving too much away!!! So stay tuned! (I guess? Idk do what you want I just like writing :p)

Thank you so much for all of the love and stuff on this fic! I can’t say it enough, and I already sound like a massive cornball. I hope yall loved reading it as much as I love writing!
Anyways, goodbye, and have a wonderful day/night. Much love!

-Door