Archive of Our Own ^beta

Charles sat on the couch with a book in his lap. He wasn’t really reading it anymore. His mind was drifting off and he lost his place more times than were worth counting. He had a blanket draped over his lap, not only because it was nearing December, but also because he couldn’t bear the sight of his legs after what happened in Cuba. 

The muscles in his legs had atrophied to the point that in some places it was just skin and bone. As time passed Charles had gotten more used to his new appearance, but every now and then he got surprised or even disgusted by the appearance that his legs had taken on in the past few months. He knew that it was natural for the muscle in his legs to degrade after not having been used for months now, but that didn’t make it seem anymore natural to his brain. 

A knock sounded from the door, pulling Charles from his thoughts. He tried to sense who it was, but for some reason he couldn’t even see their surface thoughts. 

Charles carefully transferred himself into his wheelchair and made his way to the front door. Even though he had been using a wheelchair for months, there were still a few things that he was adjusting to. Mainly transferring in and out of it. It wasn’t that it was a difficult process most of the time, but more that it took a few minutes to do no matter the situation.

When Charles got to the door, he still couldn’t sense who was on the other side of it. Charles cautiously opened the door, curious as to who or what was there. What he saw was the last thing he was expecting. 

It was Erik, standing there with that stupid helmet on his head. Erik opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. After a few moments passed with nothing said, Charles took that as his cue to say something. 

“You know you could’ve opened the door yourself.” There was an edge to his voice, sharp enough to cut through the tense silence between them. 

“I’m sorry-” Erik started, but in the small pause that he took to start explaining himself, Charles cut him off. 

“No, Erik. It’s too late for me to forgive you.” Charles’ words were cut short, anger lacing itself within every word he said. “You abandoned me and you took her away. You don’t get to just come back after months asking for forgiveness.”

“Please, Charles, just give me five minutes to explain myself,” Erik pleaded. The tone of his voice was only causing Charles’ anger to burn even brighter and hotter. He sounded almost pathetic.

“No, Erik,” Charles was practically yelling now. “Not now. Not after what you did.” Charles slammed the door in Erik’s face. 

Charles had no way of making sure that Erik would actually leave, but right now he didn’t care. All he cared about in the moment was getting back to his room without falling apart. 

He had been doing so well in getting over what had happened. Of course there were still bad days where he couldn’t even bear the thought of getting out of bed, but those had been becoming less and less frequent as the months passed. But then here comes Erik to destroy everything he had for a second time.

 When Charles finally made it to his study, he fell apart. Tears streamed down his face and his breathing became ragged. He hadn’t fallen apart like this since the night after everything happened. It seemed like hours had passed before he stopped crying. He still felt terrible, but he was far too exhausted to do anything other than go to bed.

It felt like all of the progress he had made had been destroyed. It was like he had gone back to how he felt right after Cuba. Erik had destroyed everything he had twice now, and it was only a matter of time until he did it for a third time.