Archive of Our Own ^beta

Arashi pursed her lips when she checked the time on her phone again—ten minutes past 12. Leaving a lady waiting, how rude. She'd double checked when she'd entered, but she was absolutely certain she was in the right meeting room. She'd have loved to get started immediately, but whoever was meant to be her partner was running more than a few minutes late. Really, as if her schedule wasn't packed enough!

She sighed. Maybe she shouldn't have volunteered herself, but poor Tsukasa-chan had looked so expectant when telling them about the job that she simply couldn't bear to crush his spirits.

It was a set of interagency performances, to display unity within ES or something of the sort. NewDi had been quick to push Knights to the forefront, as their breadwinner and most impressive unit. It wouldn't do to put, say, Sora-chan forwards and have him be eclipsed by fine or Trickstar's enthusiastic fans, though she was sure he wouldn't be disheartened regardless. There was some sort of internal politics involved, though, so it'd ended up on them.

Tsukasa had a conflict, Ritsu-chan had lost all motivation upon hearing that Mao-chan wouldn't be the StarPro representative, and Izumi-chan and Leo-kun simply didn't have the time to spare with their overseas work. She couldn't just leave Tsukasa-chan on his own, so she'd raised her hand and spoken up.

She wondered who it'd be, though? It'd be nice if it were one of the Trickstar boys, or maybe Yuzuru-chan or Mayoi-chan, all lovely, hard-working boys who she knew well. Or maybe Tori-chan or Aira-chan, her companions in Pretty♪ They'd be able to put together a wonderful performance quickly, if it was one of them—

The door creaked open behind her, and Arashi turned her head right in time to meet the eyes of Eichi Tenshouin.

Her heart dropped immediately, though she didn't let it show.

“Narukami-kun, how unexpected. It seems we'll be paired together, hm?” Eichi smiled at her. His voice grated on her for some unknown reason, but she smiled back anyways.

“My, my, it seems it. I'll be in your care, then Tenshouin-senpai.” And her eyes met his.

—-

"My seniors, please focus!" Tsukasa sounded irate, as expected.

"Mm? Suo~, did you say something?" Leo's head finally popped onto the projector screen, a little too close to the camera for comfort. A growl could be heard from the side as Izumi pushed Leo back, his characteristic irritated expression in place.

"Seriously, Leo-kun! We're having a meeting, so wait until after to compose?"

"But Sena! Everything you guys were saying started sparking up inspiration, and before I knew it, a masterpiece was born! I couldn't let it die out—it'd be a loss, a great loss for humanity...!"

"Haah? That's not an excuse! I'm staying up late just for this meeting, and you're going to make it go on longer, Leo-kun? Lack of sleep is bad for your skin, you know?" Izumi ground the palm of his hand on Leo's head, as if trying to physically drill his words into it.

"Ow ow ow! Sena, you meanie! Rittsu, Naru, Suo~, save me!"

"Hey, are you seriously running to them for help? Sooo annoying! They're in another continent, so what're they gonna do?"

The tableau of the two of them was familiar, somehow. Disjointed and distorted by the static of the screen, when she blinked, she thought she could almost see another composer reflected next to herself, the details too indistinct to quite piece together. Then she blinked again, and it was gone.

She forced away her unease, and the slight nausea that rose to her throat, cloaking it with a practiced smile. Maybe the early hour here was getting to her too? Like Izumi-chan had said, skipping sleep wasn't good for them models, after all.

"Secchan, you don't want to waste time, right~ Then you should let Tsukipi go, and let's keep going," Ritsu finally chimed in lazily.

"Don't get me started on you, Kuma-kun," Izumi complained, but removed his hand from Leo anyways.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Secchan~" Ritsu returned to his previous position, head resting on his hands on the table and eyes half lidded. Well, he was the one of them that had most trouble with an early start. Arashi'd be surprised that he even made it, if it wasn't for the fact that they'd set it early enough she suspected he'd yet to sleep at all.

Ritsu-chan was working hard in his own way and pushing himself to match up with the rest of them, really...Izumi-chan probably knew that, which was why he simply clicked his tongue before gesturing to Tsukasa to continue.

"Ah, r-right," Tsukasa seemed flustered at the sudden reminder, but it passed quickly.

"As I've stated, our next performance as Knights with Ensemble Square shall be in approximately a month, so please plan your schedules accordingly, Leo-san, Sena-senpai. Beyond that...Narukami-senpai, you are representing Knights in the inter-agency collaboration, correct? How is that proceeding?" Tsukasa looked towards her expectantly.

"Tsukasa-chan, are you worried about me? ♪ Really, I'll be fine~ I'll work hard enough to dazzle our fans with my beauty on stage, so don't worry, alright?"

"I have full faith in you, Narukami-senpai. However, who is it that you have been paired with?" Arashi could tell Tsukasa was scheming something, as much as a honest boy like him could, by that expression of his. Ah, boys were always so competive, burning with the spirit of youth. Really, Arashi wasn't interested in that sort of thing at all.

She hesitated for just a moment before responding, pursing her lips together.

"It's Tenshouin-senpai," She responded, keeping her voice light. The effect of her words were immediate on those around her, her eyes flashing between them to track their reactions. Tsukasa-chan swelled up with pride and excitement—naturally, with his admiration for that Tenshouin-onii-sama of his. Ritsu raised his head up, eyes now fully open and bright, a considering look on his face. Izumi glanced minutely towards Leo, and Leo himself was unreadable, his joy drained out of him in an instant.

"You're paired with Tenshouin-onii-sama? That's splendid! Surely, the performance will be an absolute success, then!" Tsukasa was the first to speak, the hints of envy glimmering in his eyes.

"It's with Ecchan, huh? Good luck, Nacchan...be careful that he doesn't plot anything, okay~?" The supposed vampire spoke next, eyes sharp as he fixed them on her.

"Tch. At least Tenshouin is competent, if nothing else," Though Izumi should have been addressing her, his eyes were still on Leo.

"Ah...mm? Wait, were you waiting on me?" Leo took a few seconds to startle back to life, bright smile settling onto his face as easily as it'd never left. "My bad! So it's Tenshi? Wahaha, you'd better show him my Knights can't bend to him ☆ Or, it's Suo~'s Knights now, so I probably shouldn't say that sorta stuff, right? Good luck, Naru!"

Tsukasa frowned at their words, clearly disapproving of their implied sentiments, but stayed quiet. It was different from what he would've done before, enough that that was what startled Arashi the most.

Right...there'd been some sort of gala, hadn't there? Or was it a competition? Tsukasa had boasted of defeating his rival, that Himemiya, but stayed silent on the rest of it, except for an occasional troubled expression. It'd really made Arashi, his self-appointed big sister, worry.

...No, it'd really sat ill with her, most of all. She smiled past the unease that had stirred up in her again, a flawless model smile. "Don't worry, everyone. I'll be alright."

She'd grown used enough to lying that even the words didn't taste bitter in her mouth.

—-------

Arashi brought her water bottle to her mouth, drinking from it fully. “Ah, that was refreshing! We've really been working hard, Tenshouin-senpai—” Her words died down. Eichi wasn't even looking at her, eyes fixed on his phone. She huffed. Really, shouldn't he be better at etiquette than this?

Well, it wasn't as if she had much else to do. She picked up her phone, checking through her notifications. Ooh, Pretty 5 was planning on meeting up soon? ♪ That'd be a good stress reliever. And it looked like Izumi was complaining about something related to his Yuu-kun. She wasn't quite sure why he'd picked her to rant to, but as she saw the number of notifications go up from 20 to 22, she decided against opening it up right now. Izumi'd have to lose steam eventually, ideally much before they finished up here.

“My apologies, Narukami-kun.” It took her a moment to register the words, having completely forgotten their conversation of just a few minutes ago. “It looks like there's some…disagreement in the Starpro management about this project, so I've been trying to soothe it over. Don't mind it.”

She tilted her head, wondering why he was telling her this. Just as an excuse? She was an idol from another agency, so she'd expected him to conceal those types of matters from her. Well, not like their Tsukasa or Tsumugi were particularly that type, but Eichi most definitely was.

Arashi paused for a second, before deciding to ask another question that'd been on her mind. He seemed in an accommodating mood, and it'd satisfy her idle curiosity.

“I’ve been wondering why you joined yourself, Tenshouin-senpai. Do you really have the free time to get involved with this sort of project?” And wasn't it a bit too much of a political statement, having the agency head himself involved? Not that she'd say that last part aloud, or that she planned on letting NewDi embarrass itself next to him.

His eyes drifted away from her, and she stifled another sound of frustration. Really, it was childish of her to be so irritated by this. It wasn't as if she really wanted his attention, either. Something about his eyes fixing on her made her skin crawl, and so wasn't it better for him to look away? But maybe it was her pride as a model that protested, urging her to draw his attention back to her.

She shook it away, waiting for him to speak.

“Fufu, I simply happened to have the time in my schedule.” Like she believed that, with the way his eyes were fixed somewhere distant.

A part of her wanted to push and prod the answers out of him, demand that he tell her what he was looking at. She took another sip of water instead.

“Right, that makes sense~ And it's pretty exciting working on a collaboration, right? ♪” She could layer on pretty lies and idle words just as well as him. They weren't quite close, after all: still just strangers who'd found their way into the same room.

And she was perfectly happy with that. Experienced at it, even, the keeping of distance. She'd rather dance with their masks up than risk revealing something ugly underneath, after all.

“Oh my, it's about time for us to get started again, isn't it?”

She still couldn't help but feel as though they'd missed out on something important.

—--------

Arashi brought her cup of coffee back to her mouth, taking a delicate sip.

"Naru-chan, how 's it?" Mika looked nervous as he waited for her response, as if he'd been the one to make her coffee himself, instead of simply suggesting the cafe at their last meeting.

"Very Pretty♪" She responded with a warm smile. "It's delicious, Mika-chan. How's yours?"

"Nnah, 'm happy..." And Mika indeed looked relieved. Really, he was so much cuter when he was at ease. Arashi was glad he was much more relaxed nowadays...she'd really worried about him last year, especially with that brutish 'Oshi-san' of his. She disapproved of him a bit less, now, but that didn't mean she'd forgiven him for making her Mika-chan struggle so much last year. "Aah? Ma drink? 'S pretty good too ♪"

"What foul weather!" Hiyori's high, annoyed voice broke from the conversation on the other side of the table. Arashi turned towards them, curious what the other members were talking about. She did love chatting, after all ♪

Tori leaned towards her a little. "Wait, Narukami-senpai, you're working with Eichi-sama, right? I know it's supposed to be a secret, but can you tell me what you've been working on? Eichi-sama won't tell me anything!" Aira didn't add anything on, but he looked just as eager to hear her speak, eyes sparkling.

Arashi froze imperceptibly. The fun of their Pretty 5 meeting had almost banished her worries out of her mind, but in a split second they had returned.

"I can't spoil the secret either ♪ Come watch instead, alright?" Arashi managed to put together a reply, smiling at them. She took another sip of her drink, purposefully stalling the conversation from continuing further, and the three of them quickly shifted to another topic.

"Naru-chan..." The naked worry in Mika's eyes made it hard for her to keep her smile up. "Nngah...are ya really workin' with that guy?"

"It's true, but you don't have to worry about me, Mika-chan ♪ I have it all handled, okay?" She tried to smile reassuringly.

"Nnah...even if ya' say that, I can't not worry..."

It would be hard, wouldn't it? Poor Mika-chan had seen the hurt he'd caused firsthand, and even when so many others had forgiven him, letting the wounds of the past disappear, Mika couldn't. Maybe even more than his "Oshi-san", Mika held a grudge over everything, because he'd been the one to help piece him back together.

She couldn't say she didn't understand, just a little. After all, someone she'd known had fallen in his revolution too—fallen off the roof, and he hadn't grown wings in time to bear him away. She couldn't claim she had loved him, not after how she'd taken him for granted, and she couldn't much blame Tenshouin-senpai either, not when she still had to reserve most of that guilt for herself.

Still...a part of that open wound hadn't scabbed over.

"Promise me yer gonna be careful, Naru-chan?" Mika's face was still clouded with concern.

"Of course I will," She promised him, meaning each word. "Now, should we try one of the pastries?"

---

“Good work, Narukami-kun.” Eichi's smile seemed to hold a bit more warmth than it had before, or maybe she was just deluding herself. After all, they'd made it to the end of this project: still strangers, just as she'd wanted. They hadn't taken a single step closer to each other, wary eyes tracking each other over light smiles that concealed so much underneath. All they had to do was perform tomorrow and then they'd part, everything that'd happened in this room nothing but a pale memory.

“Tenshouin-kun, how about we rehearse once more?” She asked, despite herself.

Even Eichi seemed taken aback. He parted his lips, in wonder or confusion she didn't know, and then of course formed them back into a smile. She'd still seen it, though: that moment under his mask, ripples on the water.

“I think we've rehearsed plenty, haven't we? Besides, we ought to rest before tomorrow's performance, Narukami-kun.” A polite rejection. The polite thing to do would be to accept. To step away.

But models weren't meant to ever shy away. “Please? ♪ Just to make sure everything goes smoothly, Tenshouin-senpai.” She looked at him just so, eyelashes fluttering. Eichi wasn't an emperor, and she wasn't a demure maiden. But they could both play their roles.

“...Alright. Then let's begin.” In one moment, he restarted the music; in the next, he extended his hand to her. In the third, she placed her hand in his, and she became a Knight again. They began their dance, repeating movements she knew by heart as they twirled around the room. It wasn't different, really, than all the other dances they'd performed in this room, reflected at them from the mirrors that lined every corner of the room.

And yet if she strained herself, she thought she could hear the echo of a familiar tune in the melody playing around her. When she looked at Eichi, though, there was no trace of that person in his face—that kind though clumsy composer, who'd gifted her that unpolished tune, who'd been crushed by the impurity of the world. All she could find in his eyes was her own hateful self—the same person who'd trampled on countless others to gain love, bloodying and dirtying herself, just as he had. That person was no longer here, and even his memory had been wiped away—now the only thing left here was his blood staining their interlocked hands, as they danced on the site of a mass grave.

The truth was, she was similar to Izumi—she couldn't quite bring herself to give into hate for Eichi, even if a part of her resented him so bitterly it hurt. For how exactly could she condemn him, when she'd buried away the same sins in her past? If she were to face those parts of her, she wasn't quite sure she'd be able to remain someone she could continue to love.

And that's why she didn't want to look at him, either.

But his hands were warm on hers, and his gaze finally seemed not to pass through her as if she was transparent. Narukami Arashi was a model, after all: she was brought to life by the eyes of others on her, arranging herself delicately so as to pull their gazes to her. Of course, behind that delicacy lay countless corpses, but that couldn't quite be shown to the audience, could it? Eichi surely understood that easily.

And something about his eyes on her made her shiver. Maybe it was something about Eichi himself. Somehow, he could look at you as if you were the most important thing in the world, as if all the world existed for you. Even though she knew it'd shift in a moment, his eyes landing back on some distant point in the future, it was heady having his utter attention fixed on her. Like this, she almost thought he could love her.

She'd heard it claimed that Eichi couldn't love anyone. Perhaps it had even come from his own mouth—who knew? And yet, in this brief dance, she could tell it most certainly wasn't true.

Everyone could love. Everyone was born into this world to love and be loved, and idols longed for it most of all. Surely Eichi too had become an idol for that same reason, just as Arashi had. And she knew just as certainly that Eichi truly did love idols.

Well. Idols were made to be loved, and young maidens too.

The song came to an end, but Arashi didn't let go of Eichi's hands. Instead she smiled, turning her face at just the right angle to let the light in the room play across her cheekbones beautifully, and she could see how his eyes followed it too. Not from any particular sense of desire, but as someone just as used to that sort of calculated action.

He was a consummate idol, same as her.

Love me, worship me, admire me, she could've said. I'm the same as you, so don't look away. Why does everyone around me love and hate you? What do they have that I don't? Hey, why did you kill that person again, crush him and his songs under your grand dreams? Why did you break all the people I love? Where are you looking, so far away?

She didn't say any of that.

“Tenshouin-senpai, we've been working pretty hard, haven't we? ♪ When the performance ends tomorrow, how about we go to a cafe after to celebrate?” She offered casually, meeting his eyes firmly.

Her words may have been light, but she knew they were dangerous. So many of her friends had warned her: so many of them had been crushed by him. But really, it wasn't as if Arashi was all that pure or weak either. And most of all, a part of her wanted to see that look of his again.

Eichi studied her, something inscrutable in his gaze. After a moment, he smiled: gently, an expression that didn't quite reach his eyes. Arashi didn't mind it.

“Fufu. I'd be happy to, Narukami-kun.”

She smiled back, and this one, she knew was real.

After all, his eyes still lingered on her.