Chapter 1: Blocky Fucking Dies International
Chapter Text
[In the hallways in front of the student council room]
[Blocky sets up his camera]
Blocky: Hey guys! For a prank, butter the hallway floor and watch the student council slip!
[Pin walks out of the room and slips]
Pin: AAAAH
[Pin rolls on the floor]
[Gaty walks out]
Gaty: Oh my fence, Pin! Are you okay- AAA
[Gaty slips]
[Coiny walks out]
Coiny: Hey guys what’s happenin- woah!
[Coiny slips and rolls on the floor and ends up flying out the window for some reason]
[Suddenly, Marker and Fanny]
Marker: Oh no! Death!
Fanny: Blocky…! >:CCCCCC
Blocky: Oh shit!
[Blocky begins to run but he slips on the floor and also ends up flying out the window for some reason]
THIS PROGRAM WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY BLOCKY’S FUNNY DOINGS INTERNATIONAL
[everyone claps]
Chapter 2: Tree falls down the stairs
Summary:
based off of a time that i fell down the stairs except i turned it into something that didn't happen when i fell down the stairs
Notes:
what am i doing
Chapter Text
[Tree is walking down the stairs when he begins to lose his balance]
Tree: Oh shit. Wait I never trip, I'll be fine lmao
[He loses even more of his balance]
Tree: I still never trip lmao
[He trips and falls down the stairs]
[Black Hole was watching the whole thing]
Black Hole: Tree wtf is this this isn't death prevention you're fired i'm breaking up with you :(
Tree: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo
[They got back together the next day. Now every Tuesday Tree falls down the stairs and BH fires and breaks up with him and rinse and repeat.]
[THE END? NEVER READ ONE OF MY THINGS AGAIN]
Chapter 3: Imprisoned XII
Summary:
knife belts ave mujica music at 3am
Notes:
i have a headcanon that knife is an ave mujica fan.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
[In Knife and Pickle's dorm]
[Pickle wakes up to the sound of very loud and frankly horrible singing]
Knife: YOU KNOW I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT I WAAAAAAAAAANT I WAAAAAAAAANT I WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT YOUUUUU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WAAAAAAAAANT
Pickle: what the fuck
Knife: NAZE YOU KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW YOU KNOOOOOOOW YOU KNOOOOOOOW YOU KNOOOOOOOW I WANT YOU TO KNOOOOOOOW HOW MUCH I NEED YOU SO IMA KURUOSHII HODO
Pickle: ...
Pickle: [at the same time as Knife] ZENBU ZENBU BOKU DAKARA UJIUJI SHIKU SHIKU BOKU dAKARAAAAA
Knife: [at the same time as Pickle] SOREDEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU KNOOOOOOW YOU KNOOOOOOOW I WAAAAAAAAAANT YOU SOOOOOOOOO
Fanny, who is in an entirely different building: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Notes:
i made pickle sing shiori by mygo because imprisoned xii's music video is in the same style as shiori's music video
Chapter 4: i tried to tell them
Summary:
trophy gets stabbed and fucking dies
Notes:
i based it off of an incorrect quote i found
Chapter Text
Blocky: Hey guys! For a prank, stab an unassuming Trophy!
[Blocky stabs Trophy's back. Where'd he get the knife from? idfk his ass probably]
Trophy: BRO WTF
Blocky: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[This program was brought to you by Blocky's Funny-]
[Fanny smashes his camera]
Blocky: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[Fanny drags Blocky away]
[Trophy is now bleeding out on the floor]
[Tissues is here for plot purposes]
Tissues: oh no trophy.
[Tissues drags his ass to the basement that the school has for plot purposes]
[It's Test Tube's lab!!!!!]
Test Tube: what
Tissues: help trophy
Test Tube: bro i'm not a doctor. take him to doctor fizz.
Tissues: i can't. doctor fizz is dead.
[cut to yin-yang mourning a dead doctor fizz. pillow is there too.]
[cut back to test tube and tissues]
Test Tube: so just go recover-
Tissues: bye
[As soon as Tissues leaves, Trophy dies]
Test Tube: ...I really don't feel like recovering anyone right now.
[30 minutes later]
[Golf Ball shows up in the basement]
Golf Ball: TEST TUBE HELP ME MURDER TROPHY HE BLED ALL OVER THE HALLWAY FLOOR
Test Tube: Golf Ball, Trophy's dead.
Golf Ball: WHAT
Test Tube: I tried to say that I wasn't a doctor.
[CONGRATULATIONS, YOU MADE IT TO THE END OF THIS CHAPTER WITHOUT DYING. HAVE A COOKIE]
Chapter 5: miku miku ni shiteageru
Summary:
yin-yang worships hatsune miku
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Yin-Yang: WE ARE NOT WORTHY! OH HATSUNE MIKU, YOUR VOCALOID-NESS!
Hatsune Miku: you are unworthy
Yin-Yang: WE ARE UNWORTHY
[Paintbrush walks by]
Paintbrush: Hey, Yin-Yang- never mind.
Hatsune Miku: What are you doing here go back to worshipping Dr. Fizz
Yin-Yang: WE CAN'T! DR. FIZZ IS DEAD!
[Cut to Yin-Yang mourning a dead Dr. Fizz. Pillow is there too.]
[Cut back]
Hatsune Miku: you suck
Yin-Yang: WE ARE NOT WORTHY
[The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku plays. It's Yin-Yang's phone alarm.]
[Yin-Yang wakes up]
Yin-Yang: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[tpot intro starts]
why are you still here
Notes:
this was mostly yang if you couldn't tell
Chapter 6: [NOT A CHAPTER] BFDI headcanons
Summary:
what it says in the title
Notes:
not limited to my school au so i will clarify if the headcanon is for this au. includes sexuality hcs if applicable.
ALSO YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS BUT
MOST OF THESE HCS ARE SERIOUS :O
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
[LAST UPDATED ON OCTOBER 22 2025]
Blocky:
- Gay
- Out of all of the guys in his friend group, Blocky would probably be the least likely to have internalized homophobia. This is because his pranks don't discriminate. Except for ableism but he grew out of that.
- Gold Ship main on Uma Musume
- [SCHOOL AU] DPYA's worst enemy
Coiny:
- Bisexual
- [SCHOOL AU] Vice president of the student council
- [SCHOOL AU] Would go on to study medicine and become a pediatrician after graduation (this job would def suit him. fuck you.)
Eraser:
- Gay
- [SCHOOL AU] Once donated blood with Pen. Pen passed out. Free food though.
Golf Ball:
- AroAce
- Has GAD
- Biwa Hayahide main on Uma Musume
- [SCHOOL AU] No one let her join the student council or disciplinary committee because they hate her
- [SCHOOL AU] Would go on to become a mechanical engineer after graduation
Pen:
- Omnisexual (male pref)
- Has GAD and separation anxiety
- [SCHOOL AU] Once donated blood with Eraser. He passed out. Eraser got him extra free food though.
Pencil:
- Lesbian
- Has performance anxiety
Pin:
- Bisexual
- Has OCD
- [SCHOOL AU] President of the student council
Snowball:
- Gay
- Has a big fat crush on Lightning (come on guys look at how differently he treated lightning in comparison to everyone else)
Tennis Ball:
- Bisexual
- Has a big fat one-sided crush on Golf Ball
- [SCHOOL AU] Would go on to become a chemical engineer after graduation
Fries
- Very aggressively bisexual
- Has a very high pain tolerance
Gelatin
- gay as fuck
- Transcend main on Uma Musume (based)
- [SCHOOL AU] he could get good grades if he wanted to. *if* he wanted to.
Nickel:
- Gay
- Has a big fat one-sided crush on Tennisball
- Daitaku Helios main on Uma Musume
- [SCHOOL AU] doesn't exist
8-Ball:
- Autistic
- Does not know how to communicate
Barf Bag:
- Straight (GASP)
- Hates zombie movies (iykyk)
Black Hole:
- Demisexual
- Has OCD
- [SCHOOL AU] President of the disciplinary committee
Bottle:
- Transfem
- AroAce
- so like when eraser got eliminated in tpot, she made a joke about it being her master plan. it reminded me of the izzy isn't crazy theory. i think that she was in fact joking, but she is still a lot smarter than she lets on.
- [SCHOOL AU] To add on to the above, she has perfect grades.
Bracelety:
- Lesbian
- Agnes Digital main on Uma Musume
- [SCHOOL AU] Started an Ice Cube fan club. She's the only member.
Fanny:
- Lesbian
- Autistic
- Best angry idealist
Pillow:
- Gray aroace
- Gold Ship main on Uma Musume
- [SCHOOL AU] got kicked out of the disciplinary committee
Tree:
- Gay
- TPOT 17 gave me the idea that he's bad with horror. Horror movies, scary stories, haunted houses, that sort of thing.
Notes:
bye
Chapter 7: [NOT A CHAPTER] II hcs
Summary:
same as last chapter
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
[LAST UPDATED: OCTOBER 22 2025]
Apple:
- Lesbian
- Dyslexic
Knife:
- Gay
- Ave Mujica fan
- If he were in the Bandori universe, he would be smart enough to know that Ave Mujica was not doing a publicity stunt to hint at getting back together.
- [SCHOOL AU] Would go on to become a psychologist after graduation
Lightbulb:
- Omnisexual
- Has ADHD
Nickel:
- really fucking gay
- Has a really fucking gay crush on Balloon, and it's one-sided
- Has nosocomephobia
- [SCHOOL AU] exists
Fan:
- Bisexual
- Autistic
- Would definitely yell "IS THAT A […] REFERENCE???" out of nowhere
- Chrono Genesis or Agnes Digital main on Uma Musume
- [SCHOOL AU] Has a really good literature grade
Soap:
- Lesbian
- Has OCD
Test Tube:
- Bisexual
- Transcend main on Uma Musume
- [SCHOOL AU] Her lab is in the school's basement
Trophy:
- Gay
- Has internalized homophobia
- [SCHOOL AU] Has made out with Blueberry in the locker rooms more than once
Blueberry:
- Gay
- [SCHOOL AU] Has made out with Trophy in the locker rooms more than once
Silver Spoon:
- Bisexual, male-leaning
- Autistic
- Candle was probably the first woman he liked actually
- Well I mean Candle was the first person he ever liked but like if we were to pretend he were real
- [SCHOOL AU] ok listen in the school au they're all real so candle was the first woman silver ever had a crush on
Notes:
i coined the ship name "Participation Award" for trophy x blueberry btw
Chapter 8: the participation award chapter
Summary:
after trophy was recovered
Notes:
content warning:
non-graphic making out because i can't write
su1c1de jokes at the end
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Trophy: being stabbed fucking sucked.
Blueberry: deserved tbh
Trophy: [aggressively trying not to blush] WHERE DID YOU COME FROM
Blueberry: i'm always there. watching you.
Trophy: fuck you. anyways, do you know where dr. fizz is? i want to yell at him for not helping me when i was stabbed.
Blueberry: you can't. dr. fizz is dead.
[Cut to Yin-Yang mourning a dead Dr. Fizz. Pillow is there too.]
Trophy: you're short and a loser.
Blueberry: no u
Trophy: that's hot bro wanna make out
Blueberry: lets gooooo
[They make out in the locker rooms because they are gay]
[Knife walks in and sees them. He is horrified.]
[Knife leaves.]
Knife: Well that was idiotic. off to hang myself! WATCH AND LEAR-
[Knife backflips off a chair and dies]
Fan: IS THAT A HEAVY IS DEAD REFERENCE
Notes:
and that's how knife died in this au /j
Chapter 9: what happened to dr. fizz actually
Chapter Text
Golf Ball: WHERE IS DR. FIZZ THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT
Test Tube: nothing you can do about it. dr. fizz is dead.
[Cut to yin-yang mourning a dead dr. fizz. pillow is there too.]
Golf Ball: FUCKING HOW
[flashback]
Dr. Fizz: it is good day to be not dead.
Pillow: i'm gonna make you dead
[pillow stabs dr. fizz and watches him bleed out]
[yin-yang teleports to dr.fizz's body]
Yin-Yang: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo
[Pillow just stands there with a blank face. no one suspects her for some reason.]
[flashback ends]
[Golf Ball and Test Tube find the body where Yin-Yang is mourning a dead dr. fizz. Pillow is there too.]
Yin-Yang: SErIOUSLY!!! WHO KILLED DR.FIZZ
Pillow: oh all you had to do was ask lol it was me
[Fanny appears out of nowhere]
Fanny: FUCK YOU PILLOW
[Fanny executes Pillow. How she does so is up to your imagination.]
Fanny: bye
[Yin-Yang goes to recover Dr. Fizz]
Golf Ball: this is actually your fault test tube
Test Tube: wtf why
Golf Ball: he wouldn't have been dead for so long if you had recovered him like you promised!
Test Tube: I never promised sh-
Fan: IS THAT A FUCKING TWISTED REFERENCE
Chapter 10: knife turns homophobic
Summary:
Knife has been scarred by what he saw in the locker rooms
Notes:
this chapter is pretty suggestive so uh be warned or something
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
[Trophy and Blueberry are talking in the hallway. Knife approaches them.]
Knife: can you like never do that thing you did in the locker rooms again
Trophy: wtf you saw that
Knife: i hate my life and i'm homophobic now
Trophy: by that logic i should be a racist because i was stabbed with a knife
Knife: oh is that what happened i thought your uterus exploded lol.
Trophy: WHAT THE FUCK
Blueberry: hot
Trophy: kys
Knife: anyways don't be racist it said so on desperate houses
Desperate Houses episode: Don't be racist we are both buildings love one another sisters and brothers or we will haunt your dreams
Trophy: well maybe you shouldn't be homophobic i mean you're literally gay
Knife: no one is allowed to be gay but me and pickle now. i'm homophobic
Blueberry: Based.
[Trophy steps on Blueberry. LITERALLY.]
Knife: damn the toxic yaoi strong with this one. i think i'm done being homophobic. oh and fuck you trophy
Notes:
what am i doing with my life
Chapter Text
Cheesy: it's so sad that steve cobs died of ligma
Golf Ball: who the hell is steve cobs
Cheesy: ligma balls
[cheesy uses bomby to explode golf ball]
Tennis Ball: GOLFIE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Notes:
steve cobs does not exist in this au, he's an oc cheesy made to screw with golf ball
Chapter 12: IS THAT AIR SHAKUR FROM UMA MUSUME
Summary:
author has an on and off uma musume hyperfixation that came back again recently after the global version came out meaning new content for them to interact with.
Notes:
air shakur is my favorite btw
Chapter Text
Fan: OMG IS THAT AIR SHAKUR UMA MUSUME
Air Shakur: rojikaru ni ikou ze
Pickle: why does she lowkey look like you knife
Knife: what the fuck
Tennis Ball: guys i think i have a type
KuroSetsu: fuck you tennis ball she's mine
Air Shakur: who the fuck are you
KuroSetsu: i'm your spouse duh
Air Shakur: die
KuroSetsu: aw man
Fan: IS THAT SAKURA BAKUSHIN O UMA MUSU-
Sakura Bakushin O: bakushin
[Everyone fucking dies]
Chapter Text
Lollipop: hello match
Match: hello lollipop
Lollipop: you're hot let's kiss
Match: i can't bro i'm with pencil
Lollipop: invite her
Match: oh lol ok
[Match calls Pencil]
Match: hey i'm about to make out with lollipop wanna join
Pencil: fuck yeah
[Pencil teleports over]
[The three of them kiss]
Pencil: wait i just remembered i'm with magnet
match: invite her
Pencil: oh lol ok
Magnet: i can't bro i'm with everyone except pepper
Pencil: invite them
Magnet: oh lol ok
Pillow: i can't bro i only kiss gold ship uma musume
Gold Ship: golshi golshi golshi
Pencil: invite her
Gold Ship: i want to make out with everyone too
Pillow: GOLSHI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sakura Bakushin O: bakushin
[Everyone dies before they can make out]
Notes:
c
Chapter 14: trophy comes out of the closet
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Pin: Why the fuck is there a giant closet in the middle of the hallway
Coiny: I don't know. Let's poke it!
[Coiny and Pin poke the giant closet]
[The closet opens and Trophy falls out. He is wrapped in rainbow ribbons]
Trophy: i'm gay
Pin: ew
[Pin kicks Trophy back into the closet]
Coiny: GASP PIN YOU CAN'T BE HOMOPHOBIC
Pin: i'm not homophobic i'm trophyphobic
Coiny: oh ok lol
[Coiny and Pin walk away]
[Enter Fanny]
Fanny: WHO LEFT A GIANT CLOSET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY
[Fanny kicks the closet.]
[The closet opens and Trophy falls out. He is wrapped in rainbow ribbons]
Trophy: i'm gay
Fanny: WE KNOW
[Fanny kicks Trophy back into the closet]
[Blueberry walks by and sets the closet on fire]
Fanny: WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
Blueberry: because Trophy is very hot
[A knee slap followed by a scream could be heard in the distance]
Fanny: i fucking quit
Notes:
this has to be the w̶o̶r̶s̶t̶ best thing i've ever written
Chapter 15: twisted au
Summary:
I STEAL EVERYTHING
what do you mean that's not the song we're doing
Notes:
twisted au where Loser is Ja'far
but this is also still the school au somehowdo i legally need to add that i don't own twisted, it's owned by starkid?
also i only did this because i thought it was funny, just like why i did everything else in this storyuhhh oh yeah and everyone hates loser even his fans, because that's how it is in canon and also jafar used to be loved by everyone too
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Loser: I look around the school and see the desperation and the devastation that persists, no matter what I do
Loser: But today could be the dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Loser: I finally make a difference
Loser: And all my grateful classmates will sayyyyyyyy tooooooo meeeee
Fanny: Fuck you!
Bottle: Fuck you!
Donut: Fuck you!
Ice Cube: Fuck you!
Bracelety: Fuck you!
8-Ball: Fuck you!
Pin: Fuck you, Loser.
Loser: Good morning, Pin!
Pin: Where are you off to today, you no-good piece of shit?
Loser's parrot that he has for some reason: SQUAAAAAK. PIECE OF SHIT.
Pin: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME, YOU BASTARD
Loser: No, friend! I said nothing! That was my bird. He has the ability to repeat words that others have spoken!
Pin: Well, why don't you teach him these words then? Fuck you, Loser. COINY, THE BAGUETTES! HURRY UP!
Fanny: WHY DON'T WE HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT
Pin: WHY ARE WE DYING IN THE STREET
Tea Kettle who is not supposed to be in this AU: WHY DOES MY BABY ALWAYS CRY
Grassy who is not supposed to be in this AU: WHY DID MY MOMMY HAVE TO DIEEEEEEEEEE
Eggy: MINE TOO
Fan: MINE TOO
Golf Ball: MINE TOO
Test Tube: MINE TOO
Trophy: MINE TOO
Fanny: The answer here is crystal clear. LOSER, THAT UGLY YELLOW CUBEEEEEEE. HE'S THE REASON FOR OUR MANY WOESSSSSSSS
Leafy: Though we're upset, we shouuuuuldn't fret! We mustn't let ourselves forgeeeeeeet the saying every child attending this school knowsssss.
Leafy: You've got to dream a little harder when life won't go your way! Simply dream a little harder! Trust me when I say that when you dream a little harder, you're sure to follow throuuuuuuuuugh!
Leafy: Cause if you're good and you're attractive, no need to be proactive!
Everyone that isn't Loser: Good things will just happen to youuuuuu!
Loser: I've come to return the book I borrowed!
Five: Ah, Loser! It took you long enough, you shit-eating dog.
Loser: I couldn't put it down! It's one of my favorites! The story of a misunderstood witch who's really not wicked at all, she's just green! But she still gets blamed for all the kingdom's problems...
Five: Oh so you think you're better than me just because you can read? Well get out of my library then! We don't like your kind here anyway.
Loser: But what about the book?
Five: Keep it, and may you choke on a jawbreaker
Loser: Thank you! Thank you very much!
Five: WHY IS THE SCHOOL PLAGUED BY THEFT
Six: WHY ARE THERE NO MORE GOOD JOBS LEFT
Seven: WHY DOES THE SUN GO DOWN AT NIGHT
Nine: WHY IS EVERYONE IN THE SCHOOL WHITEEEEEEEEE
Six: are you fucking color blind
Five: Uh, Loser? [points at Loser]
Fanny: Loser!
Everyone: LOSERRRRRRRRR
Fanny: No man who's just could ever trust a face that triggers such disgust!
Match: His twisted features give me such a chill...
Leafy: So let us pray that one fine day that evil man will go away!
Everyone: Cause if we want it bad enough he willllllllll
Leafy: For if you
Blocky: Dream a little harder
Leafy: You'll get what you desire
Cabby: Dream a little harder
Leafy: When things are looking dire, if you dream a little harder, success is guaranteeeeeeeed! If you are sure of your intention, some magic intervention
Everyone: Will give you the edge that you need!
[Loser is reading and he walks into Book]
Loser: Oh, I'm sorry, Book!
Book: Oh, that's alright. Just try to keep your fat face out of that motherfucking book!
Loser: I know that I'm no prize. I'm not so easy on the eyes. I can't rely on looks to get me byyyyyyy
Loser: But ugliness permits a man to use his wits cause pretty people never have to tryyyyy
Loser: I hear the people whisper as I walk about the halls, I know they call me
Everyone: UGLY OLD LOSER
Loser: What I call planning, they call scheming. What I call delusion, they call dreaming! Why am I the only one who sees things as they areeeeeeeee?
Everyone: Wish a little strongerrrrr
Book: I need six eggs
Loser: Why not buy some???
Everyone: Hope a little bigger
Fan: I want to fly
Loser: That's unrealistic!
Everyone: Think a little louder
Blueberry: I want to be a cat
Loser: what
Blueberry: fuck you
Everyone: Whistle while you swallow a spoonful of sugar and your dreams will come true upon a starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Fanny: Dream hard enough, my friends! Loser will meet a violent end! He could be skewered by a sailing ship!
Tree: Or hanged in tangled jungle vines!
Nickel: Or eaten by hyenas!
Silver Spoon: Or he'll plummet to his death from a castle
Clock: A clock
Everyone: Or a cliff!
Everyone: And if we dream a little harder, our patience and our ardor will rid us of that ugly old Loserrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!
Fanny: Fuck you!
Notes:
song is dream a little harder from twisted
Chapter 16: six's car is on FIRE
Notes:
inspired by something that happened at school yesterday
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
[in class]
Pencil: Guys, is there actually a fire outside? Match texted me and said there was a fire.
Cabby: [gets a text from Test Tube]
Test Tube: there's a FIRE [sends picture of a fire in the parking lot]
Six: what's happening
Pencil: There's a fire in the faculty parking lot
Six: no way that's where my car is. IF MY CAR BURNS DOWN, I CAN GET A NEW CAR USING CAR INSURANCE. gonna go watch my car burn down brb
[a few minutes later]
[Six comes back and shows the class a video]
[In the video, Six is watching the fire get put out]
Six: my car is on FIRE :D
Notes:
yes, my teacher reacted exactly like this when he found out that the fire was where his car was.
Chapter 17: my random thoughts projected onto the characters
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Tree: HAIL VOX POPULI, THE PEOPLESSSSS VOICEEEEEEEEE
[Tree falls down the stairs]
Black Hole: DAMMIT TREE
Pencil: has anyone ever noticed how hot women are
Pillow: could NEVER be me [kisses gold ship uma musume]
Golf Ball: i'm beginning to think you guys are the reason i'm aromantic
Tennis Ball: [shrivels up and dies]
Paintbrush: I heard the sound of DEATH-
Fanny: STOP TRYING TO DO OUR JOB
Seven: six sev-
Six: NO. [kills seven]
Nine: that was hot bro
Six: thanks bro
KuroSetsu: what am i DOING- OMG IS THAT AIR SHAKUR UMA MUSU-
Air Shakur: stfu
Notes:
this has to be the chapter i regret the most
Chapter 18: Fan is dead
Summary:
i don't care if we already did dr. fizz is dead, i want to do this now
Notes:
i did this all from memory i hope i didn't forget anything
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Fan: yadadada IT IS GOOD DAY TO BE NOT DEAD
Pillow: [shoots Fan] POW! You are dead.
Fan: [strikes a pose] I'M DEAD
Pillow: nyehehehehehehehehehe
Paintbrush: bombombombadombombom
Pillow: [gasps and hides the gun]
Paintbrush: GASP! Fan is dead!
Fan: yes. I AM DEAD
Paintbrush: WHY is Fan dead?
Pillow: I dunno
Fan: I think it was-
Paintbrush and Pillow: SHH! You are dead.
Fan: ok
Pencil: [drives up in her freesmart super van] WHAT'S UP YA WANKERS? WHO'S UP FOR A- what the bloody hell jUST HAPPENED
Paintbrush and Pillow: Fan is dead.
Pencil: FAN IS DEAD???
Paintbrush: Correct!
[game show sounds]
Paintbrush: SO! Did you see the murderer?
Pillow: Nah.
Pencil: Sorry, mate.
Paintbrush: I will find them, I will capture them, and no one will EVER die again!
Pencil: Well that's nice.
Pillow: I'm damn proud right now.
[they both clap]
Fanny: ATTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTION! Fan is dead!
Paintbrush: We know!
Fanny: Who killed him???
Paintbrush: We don't know!
Fanny: I will find CLUES! [starts sniffing the ground and finds a gun]
Fanny: What's that? A WEAPON??? That THING is why Fan is dead!
Paintbrush, Pillow, Pencil: FAN IS DEAD???
Fanny: Yes. HE DIED!
Test Tube: INCOMIIIIING!!! [crashes her rocket into Fanny, killing her] MOVE NOW
[Test Tube kisses Fan]
Fan: [starts rising] OHOHOHOHOHO- FAN IS- [explodes and dies]
Test Tube: In my medical opinion, FAN IS DEAD!
Pencil: Test Tube, what happened?
Test Tube: My professional opinion? FAN WAS KILLED!
Pencil: Oh god
[Everyone starts whispering]
Test Tube: I don't think it's anything to worry about.
Pencil: So what now?
Gelatin: CLIPPITY CLOP MOTHERFUCKERS
Paintbrush: Oh, come on.
Gelatin: BOOM! Look at this, Fan is freaking dead! ...Whaddya think of that?
Everyone: ...
Gelatin: Uh...
Paintbrush: Yes, yes. Gelatin!
Gelatin: YEA-
Paintbrush: GO HOME.
Gelatin: ...AW COME ON. frickingunbelievablenoseriouslyyouallsuck [crashes and dies]
Paintbrush: Okay, let's get back to the point!
Fan: [pokes Fan's body with a stick] I think Fan is dead.
Everyone: FAN IS DEAD???
Test Tube: GELATIN I WILL HEAL YOU- [explodes]
Fan: SERIOUSLY! WHO KILLED FAN?
Lightbulb: [drinks dr. fizz] IT WAS MEH!
Everyone: GASP!
Lightbulb: yes!!! [eats can] I did it like THIS! [shoots Pencil]
Pencil: [dies]
Lightbulb: WOOP DEE DOO! [drinks dr. fizz] that's a joke, lads.
Everyone: AHDHAHAHAHAHHAHDAH
Lightbulb: [drinks dr. fizz] it was actually y- [drinks dr. fizz] her [points at pillow]
Everyone: GASP!
Pillow: How did you know???
Lightbulb: I didn't! [drinks dr. fizz] that was a joke too!
Pillow: hehehehhehehehhe
Lightbulb: [dies]
Pillow: HAHahahhAHHHAHAH! You're right! It was me!
Paintbrush: You monster!
Fan: BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Pillow: because ur FAT BOIII! and another thing, you're ugly
Fan: PILLOW, STOP!
Pillow: you're as dumb as a bag of rocks!
Fan: Pillow you are so mean! It's not funny. PILLOW!
Pillow: GODDAMMIT FAN FUCK OFF! You are dead.
Fan: NO! YOU! [shoots Pillow] HAHA! You are dead! No big surprise.
Paintbrush: Well that was idiotic. Off to hang myself! WATCH AND LEAR- [hangs themself]
Fan: I am alive! Is nice. [everyone is dead] Yes, this is stupid.
Notes:
Australian pencil