Work Text:
So, to Golem's knowledge, Evil Conk is dead. Lmao. And now they were trying to find a place to rest for at LEAST 3 days. Golem, at least. He knows Conk, Joll, and Kibble will be up at their earliest convenience.
Speaking of Conk.. Despite having like half of his head missing, he was still talking coherently! A bit delayed [does 7 seconds count as a bit..?] but coherent. It was still a bit worrying though. And- annoying. Mainly because Joll was only getting more paranoid by the second. Also the fact Spark was still here for some reason. He gets the rest of his team is probably dead or something just jeez dude.
"What are you even worried for? Personally I'd be glad if such a loudmouth finally shut up."
"rude :("
"You say that like I care about what you think."
Spark scoffed, crossing his arms. Conk pouted for a brief moment before going back to smiling as if the interaction didn't happen. Joll seemed to finally have enough of Spark's comments as he turned around to actually face him.
"Why are you still here if you're just gonna be a jerk the entire time?? We're not friends!"
"I told him that."
Golem raised his hand as he spoke. Joll continued.
"If you're not going to help us, then leave."
Spark was silent, and Golem made the mistake of thinking he was actually stunned by Joll's words. Spark just snickered a bit before sighing.
"You're so lucky I'm programmed with a sense of pity. Follow, frog."
He pulled up the chat before jumping down a few layers. Joll and Golem exchanged a look of skepticism before Joll spoke.
"I mean.."
"You're not seriously thinking about it."
"Okay- like- there's no point for him to kill us right now! May as well, right?"
Kibble barked in protest, having Conk translate.
After a few seconds of silence of course.
"kibble says he stabbed you"
"Did NOT have to bring that up."
Another bark.
"yes he did :)"
Joll wasn't too pleased with how hard he was being judged right now, seeing as he threw Conk over his shoulder in a surprising display of strength Golem did NOT know he had and jumped after Spark. Kibble and Golem shared a displeased sigh and followed after him.
"Today, you will be tested against your roommate. Where one of you will prove yourselves as the perfect grey player! Pure, obedient, and vanilla."
"Is this not just racism civilization..?"
Pickle mumbled to himself, tapping his phone to put the video into fullscreen. He suddenly heard a small ping noise which gave him QUITE the amount of flashbacks for a moment before he opened his messages. Nobody had texted him.. the most recent was from Axel and that was just him cursing Pickle out for spending $22 on ice cream for himself [he got sad, shut up.]
After a moment he remembered that was the chat ping and not his notification sound. Even if it hadn't been that long since he returned to his home dungeon, he almost forgot the chat feature was still a thing.
Spark whispered to you: hi pickle :3
You whispered to Spark: never do that again. what do you want </3
Ever since the whole Infinity Tower thing, Pickle hasn't been too keen on talking to Spark. For fucks sake he just left when Axel was about to KILL HIM! Who does that?! Granted he should be more mad at Axel [he was, actually. that's what all the ice cream was for..] but still.
Spark whispered to you: so yk how ur dungeon is all like advanced and stuff?
You whispered to Spark: i guess?? yeah
Spark whispered to you: do you have like. something that can put sotne back together
Spark whispered to you: stone*
Pickle blinked at that, rolling his chair over to his desk. He's got some glue..?
You whispered to Spark: yeah?
Spark whispered to you: great cuz i'm coming over!!!!!!!
You whispered to Spark: ????????
What the hell.
Pickle closed the chat with a wave of his hand, going back on his phone and continuing his movie.
"That player will immediately be given a home in the iron district, AND a surgery to make you permanently colourblind!"
"Sounds like a pretty good life!"
"NO IT'S NOT???????"
What the hell are these movies.
Though true to his word, Spark slammed his door open and probably put a hole in the wall while doing it. Pickle, admittedly, literally, jumped out of his seat. Spark just stepped inside.
"Well this is different from when I last saw it.."
Pickle was trying not to die of cardiac arrest while Spark just walked around his room.
"Oh by the way, do you remember Joll and his little ugly group?"
"Y-yeah-? Why??"
Spark just gave him a toothy smile. Pickle managed to hold back a snicker at his missing teeth. Moreso the memory. But also, it finally hit him. CONK is made of stone.
"Did you- seriously bring Conk to my house?"
"mmmmaybe."
As if summoned by God himself, Joll walked in with Conk kicking his feet on his shoulder. Joll blinked, a beat of silence in the room before he awkwardly waved.
"Hi Pickle!"
"Hey Joll!"
Now Joll he didn't have much of a problem with. Conk however-
"Wait- what even happened to Conk??"
Like HALF of the dude's head was missing! It was actually a bit concerning, even if Conk wasn't vocalizing his pain.
"Bear!"
"Bear???"
Pickle looked to Joll for an explanation, but all he got back was a shrug. How was he even supposed to fix that????
"Spark- I can't do that."
"So you lied to me."
The fighter was quick to respond, making Pickle sigh.
"No I have the glue I just- what do you want me to do?? I can't just magically put his head back together!"
"Isn't your brother the builder?"
There are too many people in this house for his liking.
Golem, the dog - Kibble, and a smaller golem who he'll ASSUME is related to Golem himself entered.
"Yeah but like.."
He trailed off, not exactly sure how to explain Axel is currently mad at him for spending his money on a butt load of ice cream. Almost everyone seemed to be waiting for an answer from him though. He awkwardly cleared his throat, trying to come up with an answer.
"Y'know.."
"We don't."
The smaller golem replied, making Golem crack a smile. That was scarier than he imagined. Pickle sighed and leaned back in his chair.
"Give me a momennntt..."
He swiped off of the movie and went to his contacts, calling Axel on facetime. Joll managed to sneak his way next to him without being noticed despite carrying what might be legally classified as a bolder on his shoulders.
"What's that?"
Riiiiiiiiight..
"A phone! It's like the chat but- actually not really??.."
"Are you ready to pay me my 22 back Pickle."
He looked down at the screen where Axel was practically glaring at him. Before he could even get a word in, Conk leaned forward.
"HE CAN SPEAK NORMALLY??"
"Plot twist of the century."
Golem commented. Axel somehow dropped his phone, the screen being one big blur when he picked it up again. It was raining outside so he wasn't really worried about him cracking it. Axel furiously wiped his camera, clearing up the video before speaking in a sharp whisper.
"you are SO lucky i'm in public you little-"
"If you wanna be mad at anybody, be mad at Spark! He brought them here!"
"of course it was the bot."
"Axel."
Pickle narrowed his eyes, only making Axel groan loudly before clearing his throat.
"You summon me for what."
"Don't put on the-! Ugh- Just come home."
"Already painstakingly travelling. Since you desired to poorly imitate a court jester."
"I TRIPPED and knocked over a vase, dude, leave me alone!"
"Like I said."
He just hung up on Axel at that point, putting his phone on his desk before standing up to look at Joll.
"Just have Conk sit down for now.. Axel's coming."
Conk practically flipped off of Joll and onto his chair, almost taking Joll down with him. Luckily he was fine. Though Conk landed upside down on the chair.. He'd be worried about him breaking his neck somehow if he wasn't a rock. He just sighed.
"Do any of you three know what happened??"
He asked, pointing to Golem, Kibble, and the smaller golem. Kibble nodded before Golem actually explained.
"The idiot's TNT got launched back at him."
"Ohhhh. Yeah that makes sense."
Pickle mumbled, looking back at Conk with a new analytical stare. Joll let out a stressed wheeze.
"Well you didn't tell me that!"
"No time."
Golem merely shrugged. Spark started to snicker.
"Does being unable to dodge run in this little parade of yours or is that just circumstance?"
"Spark!"
Pickle lightly slapped Spark's wrist, only making the knight laugh even more. Golem groaned in response.
"Can he get killed off already??"
"I have- oh shit- I have too many adoring fans to kill me off!"
Spark spoke through his laughter. Pickle blinked with confusion. What the hell were they talking about.
"I- I'd think the fans would like me."
Pickle awkwardly waved, trying to de-escalate the argument before it even occurred. Spark's laughter calmed down as Conk suddenly spoke up.
"Nuh uh."
"rude??"
The miner mumbled, going to check his phone. Joll looked over at Conk.
"How are you not in agony right now??"
". . . I'm used to it :D"
"Wha-"
He was cut off by Kibble barking loudly, making Conk sit up straight. .. He swears that dog is smarter than literally any person he knows. He's smarter than Sprout, that's for sure! Ha ha...
Jeez now he's getting depressed.
He's not exactly a fan of remembering what happened in the Infinity Tower, if that wasn't obvious! OH SHIT WAIT A SECOND-
"SPARK!"
He shouted, taking the other by surprise. Honestly- first time he's seen Spark flinch. It was a wee bit funny, after all the times Spark had scared the living daylights out of him. Both before AND after he went crazy.
"Did you have to yell??"
"Yes because this is EXTREMELY important, on my life."
He opened the drawer, searching for literally the only gold thing in there.
...
y'know that word feels weird to say. Gold. Probably trauma he hasn't unpacked yet!
"I don't think putting stuff on your life is a good idea, Pickle.."
Pickle spared a glance towards Joll as he said that, quickly looking back to his drawer.
"I- ... Y'know I was about to say 'it hasn't gotten to me yet!' buuttt... it has... Anywho!"
Again, not. Thinking about that again.
He pulled out- and you're gonna love this one- a GUN [some sort of pistol. Axel knows more about these than Pickle does] and immediately pointed it at Spark.
"Axel wanted me to give this to you!"
He smiled, his tone innocent as if he wasn't practically threatening to shoot Spark. Though the other was surprisingly calm, even walking closer and TOUCHING the damn thing.
"Did you cover this in gold nuggets or something?"
"N-No they're crystals- are you not concerned I just pointed a gun at you?!"
Spark merely started at him, he presumed. The whole bandages thing- yeah.
"wwwwhat?"
"what do you mean what."
"A 'gun'. What the hell is that."
After promptly 5 seconds of staring at Spark with pure confusion he turned to look at Joll.
"Is Spark just an idiot or do none of you know what a gun is?"
The room filled with different versions of 'no', making Pickle remember that he's technically from the future to them. He sighed loudly and shoved the gun into Spark's hand.
"It's like a bow but you just pull the trigger right there. And instead of arrows it fires small metal bits!"
"When's your brother getting hereee?"
Conk asked suddenly, leaning forward. Pickle shrugged.
"Probably a couple seconds. Why?"
"I don't wanna hurt anymore :("
Joll choked on his spit, coughing a bit before grabbing Conk's arm.
"You were in pain this whole time?!"
"ya"
"Well there goes me thinking you had high pain tolerance..."
The smaller golem commented again, twirling a strand of her hair. Conk frowned for a moment before the door opened. Axel, surprisingly drenched in water. Joll of all people had to hold himself back from laughing.
"ZIP IT, FROG."
Axel hissed, throwing his umbrella at the other who DID in fact fail to catch it. The builder stormed off into another room, muttering curses under his breath. Spark was silent for a moment before snickering.
"I don't think I've seen him that mad before."
"He does NOT like getting wet, surprisingly."
Pickle muttered. A mere moment later, Axel came back into the room with his netherite axe from the tower.
"What did you dumbasses want?"
"so you can speak normally!"
Joll put the umbrella to the side as he pointed at Axel, making him point his axe.
"Shut up."
"Stoneeeeeee........"
Conk finally said, finally giving Axel an answer. He sighed, walked up to Conk, and tapped him on the head with the axe. The missing space filled in almost instantly! With- diorite.
"That's not the right block by the way."
Golem sarcastically said, crouching down to walk next to Axel.
"I just got splashed by dirty water after walking for 20 minutes, I don't care. Now. Get the HELL out of my house. All of you."
Axel opened the door to where it was still raining outside. Pickle blinked.
"Well I don't think it'd be fair to just kick them out, Axell... Especially when it's raining that bad!"
"Are we forgetting they killed Sprout?"
"Are you forgetting you killed us??"
Yes, he's playing dirty. Yes, he feels bad.
Axel started at him for a moment before sharply inhaling and slamming the door shut.
"I hate you."
"Sorry!"
He laughed, making Axel walk away. Probably to shower. Lmao.
"How could he hate water, man.."
Joll mumbled sadly. Conk was running his hands over the new diorite part of his face, giggling to himself. The other 3 just explored his room- wait where's Spark.
BANG!
"DON'T SHOOT ME YOU IMBECILE!"
"lol."
Oh Jesus Christ.
"Don't touch anything I'll be RIIGHT back!"
And Pickle quickly ran out the room.
Joll turned to Conk.
"Can you see better now?"
"I can't see period."
Conk clapped his hands. The statement got Golem's attention.
"What?"
"I don't have eyes!"
"Then how do you even know what's going on??"
"Echolocation."
"oh."
Golem and Joll spoke simultaneously.
"So this whole visit was useless??"
Golly asked, Conk nodding.
"ya"
"Damn."
