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Scandal Surrounds Celebrated Seeker! 

By Orville Smythe, correspondent for The Daily Prophet

Boy-Who-Lived photographed with male lover!

“I didn’t know it was a problem” claims the 22-year-old Harry Potter, former Gryffindor House Seeker, Youngest Seeker in a Century, Defeater of the Dark Lord, and, as it turns out, the Boy-Who-Loves-Boys! 

In spite of his prominent position in our world, the erstwhile “Hero of the Battle of Hogwarts” has spent precious little time learning about our way of life. 

After acknowledging his ignorance regarding Wizarding relationships, Potter had this to say: “I mean, it’s okay in the Muggle world.” 

Readers, this is not the Muggle World. We have long watched as the Muggles slide into moral depravity around us, while we maintain our own high standards and noble traditions. Does this reporter find it troubling that our most celebrated citizen does not share these views? Yes, my lovelies, I do! 

And though some may argue that anyone with such proclivities would be welcome to go join the Muggle world and good riddance, in this particular case—I disagree! 

However deviant he may now be, Harry Potter is the last scion of an old and esteemed house. His lineage includes many of our ancient and noble families. His name, his power, and his presence must not disappear from our world. 

We all remember the life of this troubled young man: beloved war-orphan who ended You-Know-Who’s first reign of terror and was then raised to protect and serve in the grand tradition of his fathers before him. (For the Potters’ contributions to International Auror departments, see page four.)

Readers may well ask: What happened to turn the Wizarding World’s “Golden Boy” into an unnatural? 

In the immediate aftermath of the war, the Wizarding world was kind to Harry Potter. We fast-tracked him into the Auror program and supported his meteoric rise in popularity, success, and power. 

Of course, we all remember his departure from the Corps, and the poignant interview that followed. (For full details, see the Prophet’s May 22nd 1999 edition.) Unable to muster the fortitude required by the Wizarding World’s Best, Potter claimed the violence associated with his job brought back wartime trauma. 

“He’s always been a bit sensitive,” said Mr. Arthur Weasley, 52. “We looked after him as one of our own, though.” 

After leaving law enforcement, Potter fell back on his athletic aspirations, joining Puddlemere United as a reserve seeker for the 1999 season. It would only be a year before he moved up to the starting line.

It was during his Quidditch years that hopes for a reunion with his schoolyard sweetheart rekindled in many hearts. Ginevra Weasley, a chaser for the Holyhead Harpies, seemed his perfect match. Both young, rising Quidditch stars, both attractive, friendly, and unattached.

Truly, no other match seemed as perfect. The eager public was anticipating a betrothal announcement with rabid excitement.  And yet, that fairy-tale romance never quite came true. 

Now, Readers, we know why.

While poor Ginevra was dreaming of home and family, romance and passion—Potter was merely using her as a cover for his own freakish appetites. 

Potter had long been an honorary member of the Weasley family. But this latest revelation of his skewed family values has been a step too far, even for their compassionate hearts. Mr. Arthur Weasley expressed dismay at the news, “I don’t know what he could be thinking. It’s no way to live his life.” 

The matriarch of that clan had this to say: “He played my Ginny false. We all had such hopes, and now to find out the truth… Well, we’re devastated.” 

“He was supposed to marry Ginny,” added Mr. Ronald Weasley, 23, the youngest Auror Captain on the force. “Can’t believe he led her on like that. Prat.” One-time best friend of Harry Potter, Mr. Ronald Weasley has been growing more and more distant from his wartime companion. Did he have suspicions regarding Potter’s perversions or did something else come between the two? (Look for the upcoming interview with the Redheaded War Hero in next week’s edition.)

The heartbroken Ginevra Weasley made no comment, but we at the Daily Prophet can confirm hers is not the only heart devastated by the news. Cho Chang, 24, is another of Potter’s former “girlfriends.” 

“If you can even call me that,” she huffed, looking indignant. “I mean, one kiss? Half a date? Disappointing is not a strong enough word for it. I did wonder why he never really made a move. He always was a bit odd.”

For years, people have been speculating without any evidence on Potter’s love life. Rumors and gossip followed him, but no one knew for sure when or where love would catch him. 

Despite all these whispers, Potter himself would shrug, wink, and play coy. Responses that now seem more sinister than not. His most common reply was, “My love life is nobody’s business but mine and my partners,” never giving even a small hint to his relationship status. 

What else could he have been hiding, Dear Readers?

All was revealed when one of the Daily Prophet’s most trusted photographers caught Harry Potter in a compromising embrace with an obviously male figure. The pair were photographed leaving the Puddlemere United training grounds, leading to speculation that Potter’s partner may be associated with the team.  

It remains to be seen what impact this will have on Puddlemere United, Potter’s position with the team, or indeed, his future Quidditch career. 

The Daily Prophet can only hope that the most celebrated wizard of our time comes to his senses soon, because soon it may be too late.

Magic sparked, and the newspaper blazed before crumbling to ash in Oliver’s shaking hands. The smoke swirled down the street as he stepped into their townhouse.

Harder to dispel was the rage that accompanied the article’s words. Harry had done everything, given everything to save their collective arses during the war. Most of those who criticized Harry now hadn’t bothered to leave their houses when the DA had called for reinforcements in the final battle. How dare they presume to—he grit his teeth.

Their house was silent and dark. He put his gear bag and broom in the hall closet, brushing a hand over Harry’s Firebolt with a sigh.

He should have been more cautious. If he hadn’t needed to snog the life out of Harry that particular moment, if he had only waited till they got home, if he had glanced around more carefully—their secret would still be theirs. 

Harry didn’t deserve this. Oliver clenched his teeth at the thought of yet another round of press control, another round of lawsuits, paparazzi, and official statements—if they could find a lawyer willing to take on the case. Homophobia was rife in Magical Britain. Even those people who didn’t think it was deviant, still believed in sacrificing personal happiness for the sake of the birth rates. 

The Weasley parents’ words would cut the deepest. Ron’s reaction was unsurprising; the redhead had had some choice words for Harry on his retirement from the Corps. It seemed this was the last straw for their friendship. Oliver held out hope for the twins, though. 

He ran a hand through his hair and then opened their bedroom door. Harry sat on the floor, cross-legged and wrapped in blankets, a cup of hot chocolate in his hands, and an anxious Winky hovering nearby. Red-rimmed eyes turned up to meet his with a small, miserable smile. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey yourself.” 

“Good day at the pitch?” 

Oliver shrugged. “Not really.” He sat down next to Harry. Their knees touched. Harry had taken a personal day, knowing that the article would be published. 

“You didn’t—“ he cut off as an owl flew in clutching a red envelope. 

“Mister Potter, this is General Manager Babcock. Due to recent revelations, Puddlemere United is invoking Clause Twenty-three in your contract, regarding poor performance. This is your notice that you are no longer in the employ of Puddlemere United. Your personals will be shipped to you by the end of the month. The management decries your lifestyle choices, and on a more—”

Oliver incinerated the Howler before it could go on and spew more vituperative filth into their peace. 

Harry sighed and slumped into his side. “About what I expected, honestly.” 

“Don’t think about it any more.” Oliver kissed the side of his head. “Let’s go out dancing.” 

“Not really in the mood.” 

“Dinner?” he suggested. Harry looked about to shake his head, so he added, “Pizza?” 

Harry looked up at him, and Oliver waggled his eyebrows. “My treat,” he sweetened the deal. 

Harry huffed, but Oliver spied a tiny smile under the exhaustion. “Well, as I’m now unemployed, I suppose passing up free food would be the height of folly.” 

”That’s the ticket. ‘Bout time I played sugar daddy. It’s my turn!” 

Quidditch Catastrophe!

by Zenith Kovari, correspondent for The Daily Prophet

Mass departure of athletes from teams across the British Isles!

What will this mean for the season? The League? The Wizarding World? 

It began with a letter from Keeper Oliver Wood to Puddlemere United. If his boyfriend (Yes, Readers! Boyfriend!) wasn’t welcome to play Quidditch, then he wouldn’t be playing either. 

His letter referenced Puddlemere’s breaking of their contract with Harry Potter. The team cited “poor performance” and “insubordination.” Pale excuses—as their decision coincided with this paper’s revelation of Potter’s sexuality. 

What’s more, it wasn’t the only letter sent during the last week. 

Overnight, teams across the British Wizarding World have developed huge holes in their playing rosters, support and coaching staff, and even (in the case of the Ballycastle Bats) upper management, as employees walked out of lucrative contracts in protest. 

The entirety of the Holyhead Harpies’ first line, and more than seventy percent of their reserves have resigned.

Gwenog Jones had this to say: “The league has been making money at the expense of homosexual wixen for ages, looking the other way as long as we were discreet. At the same time, they sent the money we earned for them along with all the political support they could muster to organizations that begrudge us the air we breathe. No more.” 

Her teammate, and close associate of Harry Potter, Ginevra Weasley added, “Smythe’s article was pure spite. Harry didn’t deserve it. I’m ashamed of my parents for their part in causing him pain. Idiots have wanted us to get together for ages, but we learned that lesson in school. It didn’t work then, it really won’t work now.”

Puddlemere United's General Manager, Herbert Babcock, refused to comment on the recent mass exodus of his coaching staff or his team’s chances to play even one more game this season. 

Zenith stood next to Quality Quidditch Supplies, waiting for their partner and enjoying the warmth on a rare sunny day in April. Harry Potter and Oliver Wood sat together at one of Fortescue’s patio tables, feeding each other ice cream and ignoring scornful glances. 

There were still those who argued that homosexuality, or indeed any sexuality that deviated from one wizard and one witch, was an abomination. But ever since the Great Quidditch Outing of 2002, more and more people had been coming around. 

A secondary Quidditch league had formed, and was currently more popular than the staid and traditional British and Irish Quidditch League. Not surprising when more than half of Britain's best Quidditch talent had jumped ship. Britain’s Open League would be playing their Championship soon, and Zenith would be there to cover it. 

Harry glanced up at that point and caught their eye. They snorted at his shirt that read “He’s a Keeper” in the Quedgeley Queens‘ colors of royal purple and gold glitter. The shirt had been made for Oliver Wood, the team’s star Keeper. 

Harry nodded and smiled in greeting before turning back to his boyfriend. 

Zenith smiled and silently wished the pair good luck before slipping back into the crowd around the new broom display.