Actions

Work Header

Please Tell Me You Can Talk to Spiders

Summary:

When Jake Peralta spots Spider-Man mid-swing, he does what any sane detective would do — hum a theme song and ask for a selfie. Peter’s used to cops hating him, but this one might be different.

Notes:

I got this idea from a Tumblr post by TransPeter, so thank you to them for the inspiration :)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: The Selfie

Chapter Text

There’s nothing like the rush of freefall, the tug of the wind, the blur of the city lights, the sound of his own laughter echoing above the traffic. Weightless, boundless, Peter Parker swings between buildings, runs across rooftops, and flips through the mesh of cranes and fire escapes like a puzzle all too easy to solve. 

It’s a day as uniquely beautiful as any other in Brooklyn, warm summer air mirroring the peachy orange of the sky, sun peeking through the taller buildings. A gentle breeze sweeps through the streets, sending flocks of fallen leaves on an unknown journey.

The beloved neighbourhood hero grins beneath his mask, swinging up a fire escape in an alley to greet a stubborn tabby that seemingly melts beneath his gloved hand. As the cat's tail sweeps around his arm, a car slows to a stop on the street below, and a short whoop of a police siren causes the hero’s ears to prick up. 

Preparing to swing away, something catches his attention, a whisper a regular person would find impossible to hear. 

“Holy crap! Spiderman, Spiderman does whatever a spider can! Charles is gonna be so jealous ” 

Parker turns around and peers down to see a plain-clothes officer… maybe a detective, based on how he wears his badge. Brunette, male, early 30s, with a grin that almost blinds the masked boy.

“Hey Spidey!” The man yells up. “Dude, you are so cool! You once webbed up a perp I was working, seriously saved my butt”

Well, this is new… usually cops want absolutely nothing to do with me…

“How on earth does that work, by the way? Like, does your body make the webs? Or do you make them yourself… oh, and can you talk to spiders?” Jake’s eyes light up, and he gasps, “Can you ask the spiders if they like Die Hard! It's my favourite movie! Best cop movie of all time, hands down. How do you stick to the walls? Oh! Is the spidey sense real or just a myth?!”

Peter blinks . That… was a lot. Did he really just ask if I could talk to spiders about movies?

Slinging a web up onto the opposite wall of the alley, Parker drops to the street and gestures to the detective’s badge, side-stepping the barrage of questions.

“Aren’t you supposed to hate me?”

The brunette glances at his badge and holds it up. “What, ‘cause I’m a cop? Nah, all the pencil pushers who hate you are just washed-up losers who can’t stand someone having fun on the job,” he shrugs. “I’m Jake, by the way, Peralta, I’m a detective with the 99th”

Parker sticks out his hand, “Nice to meet you, Jake… sorry for being wary, I’m sure you’ve heard and or seen a few of your peers’ views of me and my work”

Jake shakes his head. “No worries. Actually, can I get a photo? I’ve got a jewellery thief in holding at the moment, and I already have a photo with Regis Philbin to sneak into the file, but a photo with Spiderman? Oh dude he’s gonna be PISSED!”

Peter grins, a stifled chuckle escaping before he can stop it. “You’re nuts, you know that, right?”

Jake nods enthusiastically. “Is that a yes?”

If this guy's anything like the rest of his squad, things might finally be looking up for Spidey and the NYPD. Or... getting weirder. Probably weirder.

Peter nods and slings an arm round his shoulder, throwing up a thumbs up for the camera.

“Send that to me, will you? Here I’ve got a work email.” Peter digs into one of his suit pockets and pulls out a DIY business card with the email address:

[email protected]

Jake practically glows with excitement. He nods and tucks the card into his jacket pocket, hand staying pressed over it protectively.

Peter nods, “I’ll see you around, Jake, nice meeting ya!” and just like that, he’s gone, flying up into the amber sky, and disappearing behind the building.

He certainly doesn’t miss Jake’s “holy crap I met spiderman!” as he watches him go.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! As always, Kudos and Comments are greatly appreciated. I'm aiming to update this weekly at a minimum, so keep your devices at the ready. Also, that email address is very real. Feel free to shoot me a message if you have any requests for this fic! I may use this for other fics as well, so make sure you include the fic name in the subject line <3