Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Every couple of months, Sebek would make the trip from Dragonopolis back to his family home for regular reunions. Learning teleportation magic had made the journey a breeze compared to when he'd started as a recruit within the royal guard, but even before then the regular visits had been a constant that Sebek refused to miss, no matter how busy life grew. He kept visiting even when he'd been ceremonially knighted and his job grew more time-consuming, kept visiting even when he'd moved out of the barracks into an apartment with Silver, and kept visiting even when Silver eventually queried why he visited family quite so often.

Sebek had a large family who were split amongst Briar Valley. His sister lived near his parents at the foot of mount dread, sure, but his brother was constantly on the move with work, and Baur lived on the outskirts of Dragonopolis—and only attended their reunions once a year. 

Still, it was essential to plan get-togethers if they were to ever see each other, unlike Silver who only had a father who visited at the most random of times between his travels, and a sort of brother he saw daily. Sebek knew Silver and Malleus spoke to each other with such familial fondness that—from both of their perspectives—they were practically siblings, but Sebek couldn’t bring himself to accept that. It was improper for Malleus’ personal guard to believe they were siblings, for the fabled Knight of Dreams to believe they were siblings, but Sebek would never dream of saying anything about it. Not when it would be questioning his liege to do so, and not when Silver was considered a national hero and was adored in the eyes of the public.

Technically Sebek was as well, the pair of them having received the same accolade for their actions during Malleus’ overblot back when they were all still students. He couldn’t believe that had been ten years ago, but the constant passage of time was entirely why this visit to his family had been so eventful, and why Sebek was anxiously waiting in a cafe until Silver’s shift finished.

He could’ve waited back at their apartment, but Silver always stopped here for coffee after work and to be entirely honest, Sebek was panicking and needed to see Silver as soon as possible. Usually visits to his family were wonderful, getting to catch up with everyone and enjoy his family cooking, but his parents had sat him down for a serious conversation and Sebek had handled it… well, he hadn’t handled it at all, which was why he was in his current predicament.

Sipping his takeaway tea, Sebek couldn’t stop his leg from jumping, and he kept glancing towards the front door of the cafe. This could be the one evening Silver didn’t decide to stop for coffee, or he could’ve fallen asleep at work, or maybe his night relief hadn’t shown up on time, or maybe—

The bell for the door chimed loudly, Sebek jerking from his spiralling thoughts as he turned and saw the blessed sight of Silver tiredly stumbling through the front door. He was clearly moving on autopilot, but he’d visited this same cafe enough times that he didn’t have to slur through an order anymore—simply smiling quietly and paying the barista. Though as he waited for his drink, Silver looked around the room—his training as a guard never ceasing for a moment as he carefully checked for possible threats. To an outside observer it simply looked like the wandering gaze of someone tiredly waiting for their coffee, but Sebek knew better. He could see a focus that hadn't been in those tired eyes a moment ago, and when Silver caught sight of Sebek he furrowed his brows in confusion, and made his way towards the obvious anomaly.

“Sebek? Why’re you here? I thought you were staying over at your parents.” There was a small pause, Silver moving to sit down opposite Sebek before he pulled his ponytail in front of him so he wouldn't accidentally catch it. “I’m sorry. I’ve only prepared enough food for one person…”

Silver was speaking so casually, completely oblivious to the crisis Sebek was quietly going through, and Sebek fussed with his cup as he wondered how to even bring this up. After all, he’d inadvertently dragged Silver into his mess as well. His mouth felt like it was full of ash, and he didn’t know if he could even form words with how tightly his throat was constricting. At least the silence, plus his growing pallor, seemed to eventually clue Silver in that something was wrong. Tilting his head, Silver frowned quietly.

“Did something happen…? Is everything ok with your family?” Silver’s takeaway coffee was placed on the table between them, the man thanking the barista sleepily, before he rather quickly moved to start drinking it. The scent of bitter coffee made Sebek frown, his nose wrinkling as he couldn’t understand how Silver could drink it without adding anything to it, but at least the disgust calmed his anxiety enough to actually be able to speak.

“I… I need your help, Silver.” Sebek’s voice was no more than a rasping whisper, and Silver stared at him in surprise, before his expression turned concerned—the small dimple at the side of his cheek creasing with the slight frown. The man looked over his shoulder, scoping out the room with that focused gaze again, before he turned and leaned closer, speaking just as quietly as Sebek had done.

“Is it safe to speak here?” Silver was looking at him with such a serious and determined expression that it was almost intimidating, especially because Silver seemed to believe Sebek's life was in danger. Of course he'd jump to that conclusion, Sebek looked rattled and was being vague in a coffee shop, when they both knew Sebek hated coffee.

Rubbing a hand down his face, Sebek sipped his tea again to give his hands something to do, even if his tea was both cold and overbrewed at this point. “Can we speak at home?”

Silver gave Sebek a firm nod, moving to stand so quickly it would've been seen as abrupt if Sebek didn't know Silver so well at this point. He was focused on a task, so the only thing that would stop him at this point was a sleep attack. Even that was unlikely, seeing as Silver believed someone was in danger, as the adrenaline of the situation would usually keep him awake. Really, Sebek should tell Silver that he was alright, that he wasn’t in danger, but he was still struggling to speak even as the pair of them left the coffee shop.

They didn’t live too far from here, the cafe a half-way stop between their apartment and Castle Blackscale. Their main goal when finding an apartment together had been ensuring the place was close to the castle, but also that the rent was cheap. That had been the entire reason they moved in together in the first place, so they could share the cost. They could’ve kept staying in the barracks, and Silver had fully intended to do so, but both Malleus and Lilia had insisted they have a life outside of work and they couldn’t exactly argue against the two of them.

Their insistence hadn’t exactly worked, however, as the pair didn’t really do anything outside of work despite living away from it. Silver would practice with his magearm in their small courtyard when he had energy and devise new training regimes for recruits when he didn't, whilst Sebek would read new combat treatises and regularly challenge Silver to spars to try out the new techniques. Of course not much had changed from their days as students, as Silver was still significantly better than Sebek was, but the number of times Sebek would win had definitely increased. He blamed that on Silver’s injury, however, and not an improvement on his own behalf.

It had happened during Malleus’ overblot. Silver had broken his arm defending against Malleus—defending Sebek against Malleus—and despite recovering it still gave him issues sometimes. Sebek didn’t like to think about it much, it had been years after all, and it helped that Silver was still a terrifyingly good swordsman even with the minor handicap.

Before Sebek realised, they were already outside their apartment, Silver unlocking the door and opening it. He’d hoped to reassure Silver on the way home that this wasn’t life-threatening, even if Sebek felt like it was the end of the world, but he’d gotten too lost in thought and Silver was stepping back and gesturing for Sebek to head inside first. Clearly he was still on guard, wanting to ensure Sebek was safe first, and the taller man felt his guilt grow.

Silver had just finished a day of guard duty and was now on edge again, which was entirely Sebek’s fault. Again when they were both inside, Silver closed and locked the door, before taking Sebek’s tea and giving it a confused shake as he made his way into their small kitchen. “Um. Do you want to keep this…?”

Shaking his head, Sebek placed his unused overnight bag on the counter before hanging his jacket up. They were both overly familiar with navigating the small space, Silver sidestepping him easily as he emptied and disposed of their cups, before he realised Sebek was just hovering nervously in the space. He took his own jacket off, sitting down to take his boots off and nodding towards the other chair at the kitchen table.

Silver didn’t speak until Sebek had sat down. “What’s this all about then? You being so quiet is unsettling.”

“Sorry…” Sebek mumbled, rubbing his face, and Silver’s expression grew more concerned.

“You apologising is also unsettling.” In some ways it was a good thing Silver was still as indelicate as always, as his words annoyed Sebek to no end—and the annoyance replaced his anxious guilt. He knew how to apologise, had apologised to Silver countless times, but he couldn’t get angry at Silver if he wanted his help. After all, there was an extremely high chance Silver wouldn’t agree to this, so with a frustrated sigh he let it go. 

The sooner he got this over with, the better, and Sebek glared at the wood grain of the table as he spoke.

“I messed up. My parents… they’d arranged a formal courtship for me, with this woman back at the castle town.” Sebek started, not looking up even as Silver tilted his head in confusion—as this clearly wasn’t the life or death situation he’d imagined.

“Courtship?”

“It’s ludicrous. Apparently they were concerned I’d spend my life alone, because I’ve never seriously dated anyone, and decided to take matters into their own hands.” Sebek felt his jaw tightening, his leg jumping again in agitation as he just wanted to flee from this entire situation. He couldn’t see a way out, and he’d only made it worse with how he’d responded. “If I were to go through with this courtship I would have needed to move back home, because my ‘future wife’ couldn’t share an apartment with my friend, and I just… panicked.”

Sebek finally looked up at Silver, the man staring at him with a blank expression like always, but he could tell from that slight dimple that he was also troubled by the situation. “I came out, which I never planned on doing even if it surprisingly went well, but…”

“Out?” Silver’s head tilted again when he spoke, and Sebek stared at him in disbelief. Had he seriously never come across that term before?!

“I’m romantically interested in men, Silver.”

“Oh. Ok. So that called off this courtship, then?” Silver had also taken that information surprisingly well, his expression not even shifting. Granted it usually wouldn’t change anyway, but even his subtle tells that he was surprised hadn’t shown, so this news genuinely didn’t bother him. Maybe he just didn’t understand, or hadn’t considered the implications, but then Silver was odd like that. He’d never been interested in dating anyone, so this was likely unimportant to him.

“You’d think it would, but then they suggested she had a brother and that I should give it a go, so they wouldn’t worry about me, a-and I just…” Sebek pressed his head into his hands, speaking the next words in a muffle. “I-I said I was already dating someone.”

“You shouldn’t have lied like that…” 

“I KNOW! And to make matters worse they then got excited and asked to meet them!!” Sebek was growing pale again, his expression one of pure dread as he stared at the table. “I was panicking, I don’t know why I didn’t just tell them I wasn’t interested in a courtship, but my mother was so excited and I tried to get them to stop by saying they’d already met my imaginary partner and they just— th-they—”

Sebek was struggling to breathe suddenly, panic gripping his throat like a vice, and Silver tapped the table loudly to get his attention.

“Hey. Calm down. It’s not the end of the world.” Silver spoke so calmly, even if there was a firm edge to his words as he tried to get Sebek to focus on him. It was easy for him to dismiss the situation, because he didn’t have the full picture, and Sebek shook his head.

“They assumed I’m dating you, Silver. Because we live together.”

“Huh? Me?” Sebek shouldn’t have been glad Silver finally looked surprised, as this entire situation was terrible, but at least Silver seemed to realise this was a problem. Although Silver’s brows were slowly furrowing in what Sebek recognised as annoyance, and the dread he’d felt started to grow once more. “You corrected them, right?”

Sebek didn’t respond.

“Right? You told them you appreciated their concern, but that you’re happy with your life in the capital and don’t want to move, correct?”

Sebek still didn’t respond, and Silver’s expression turned suddenly severe as his annoyance spiked.

“Sebek. You did not lie and say we’re in a relationship.”

“...Technically I didn’t say we were dating, but I didn’t correct them either.” Sebek watched as Silver exhaled sharply, bringing a hand to his forehead, as he clearly told himself to calm down. He looked exhausted, and Sebek realised bringing this up immediately after Silver had already had a long day was probably a terrible idea, but what else could he do?

“Earlier you said you needed my help. What could you possibly need my help with? The solution is just calling your parents and explaining the situation.” Silver spoke quietly, his eyes closed as he continued to rub his head. Clearly he was getting a headache, but his spare hand resting on the table was clenched, so Sebek could tell Silver was furious. 

This was going to be bad.

“...I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.” The response had been instant, that fist slammed hard into the table, causing Sebek to flinch as Silver inhaled sharply in an abysmal attempt to keep his anger in.

“That’s a stupid idea, Sebek!” Silver’s voice had raised, making Sebek stiffen further, and he knew this was a terrible idea. He knew it was a terrible idea when he was speaking to his parents, he knew it was a terrible idea whilst sitting in that cafe for hours, and he knew it was a terrible idea when speaking it out loud. But Sebek didn’t know how else to fix this besides disappointing his entire family and having to end up dating some random stranger. 

“Just think about it, Silver—”

“Yeah, I’m thinking, and it’s dumb.”

“You’re not interested in dating people, right!?” Silver sat back in his chair, folding his arms defensively as he continued to glare at Sebek, though there was a slight quirk to his brow—a challenging question—as he spoke.

“Yes. I’m not interested in romance, I’ve made that clear for years. I don’t exactly get what point you’re trying to make, because that makes it even less likely for me to date you.”

“It’s just pretend! And it’s not like you’re going to miss out on finding the love of your life because you don’t want one in the first place!” Sebek was getting frustrated himself, wondering why Silver wasn’t even taking the time to consider this. It would simply be lying to his parents, occasionally visiting them and having to maybe hold hands, it wouldn’t be a big deal. At least until they started to ask when they would get married. Or if they started telling other people they knew. Or if—

Silver exhaled sharply, the sound catching Sebek’s attention. “Did you consider that this could make me deeply uncomfortable? Like, even at all?”

A cold feeling filled Sebek’s chest at that question, especially at the reality that he hadn’t considered that. He’d assumed Silver would get angry—because Sebek was lying and was asking him to lie—but not that pretending to date him would actually make him uncomfortable. Again, he hadn’t assumed they would act any differently, just the odd term of endearment in front of his parents, but Sebek realised that was maybe fine for him, but could be a completely different boundary for Silver.

The sobering thought at least calmed Sebek down enough to talk more rationally.

“I… hadn’t, but I hadn’t really considered us acting any differently either. It’s not like we need to kiss in public—” Silver had visibly recoiled at the word ‘kiss’, clearly freaked out by the idea, “—as we’d just say we’re a private couple. My parents would understand, considering I’ve been in the closet over a decade now, and we’re both rather reserved people in general.”

Silver had gotten over the horrific idea of kissing him—a fact Sebek was trying to not feel insulted over as he knew it was just Silver— but he was still obviously against the idea. “I really do not want you to kiss me, Sebek. I don’t want any of this. It’s not like I’m uninterested in romance just because I’m focused on my career, I don’t like it. I thought you understood that. You remember that woman at the coffee shop, right? I nearly stopped going back because she was so… insistent.”

Watching as Silver paled slightly, Sebek felt guilty for not thinking about this. How hadn’t he considered this? Silver had often avoided attention way back when they were still students, particularly because Silver was a strikingly attractive man surrounded by a lot of teenagers full of too many hormones and drunk on the freedom of living without their parents. Silver had always handled it calmly and coolly, or didn’t even seem to notice the attention. To this day, Sebek still didn’t know how Silver missed the several videos of him in his equestrian club uniform that went viral, specifically because of how much people wanted him to ride them instead of his horse, but he was thankful Silver missed them if it would’ve just upset him. 

He’d assumed Silver was just not bothered at all by romance, not that it made him uncomfortable. Carefully, Sebek moved to place his hand on Silver’s shoulder, and he hated how he jerked slightly at the touch. Though he hadn’t immediately shoved him off, so he’d at least calmed down somewhat from his previous fury.

“I’m not going to make you uncomfortable, Silver. We already do literally everything together, so it’s not going to be hard to just… say we’re dating without doing anything different. Living together is already a thing couples do, and that’s never been a problem, right?” Sebek could feel the tension leaving Silver, which was a relief that he hadn’t truly upset him with this, but the man was still leering at him and still had his arms crossed defensively.

“It’s a problem when you get so frustrated by the smell of coffee that I have to spend half my wages on takeout coffee because I can’t even have it in the apartment…” Silver muttered, the gripe at least getting some of his frustrations out even if Sebek found himself getting annoyed in return.

“I put up with your obscene number of alarms, Silver! I’m not putting up with the house stinking on top of the constant threat of a noise complaint!!”

“Our neighbour is an old lady who is half deaf, Sebek. You’d know that if you spoke to her even once. Also she would have complained because of your constant shouting long before she complained at a few alarms going off for a short period of time every morning.”

“I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND HOW LOUD THE ALARMS ARE, SILVER.” Sebek shouted, leaning back as he found himself side-tracked and frustrated by this new problem instead. Silver winced at the volume, closing his eyes as his brows furrowed in pain and a growing annoyance.

“You should’ve just gone ahead with the courtship. He’d have broken it off immediately and your parents would've been forced to give up…” 

“WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!” Sebek just grew louder with his indignation, but instead of responding Silver just opened his eyes and gave him a sceptical look. Really, Sebek had no idea what Silver was on about, as he was certain he would make a great partner to someone someday, just… not right now. And certainly not one which required him to drop his lifelong dream.

After a long silence, the pair of them staring each other down, Silver let out an exhausted sigh—leaning into the table as he pressed his forehead into his hand. “I don’t know why I’m so lenient with you, this is beyond ridiculous…”

Sebek stiffened at the words, staring at him in surprise as the anxiety he’d felt for hours looked like it could finally, finally start to settle. “Y– You mean—”

“Yes. I’ll pretend to be your damn boyfriend, just promise me it’s only until you’ve worked up the courage to tell them the truth. I don’t want to be living a lie for the rest of my life, or enabling you to do the same.” Sebek could almost cry with relief at Silver’s words, the man trying to sneakily rub his eyes when he felt them start to sting, but he wasn’t subtle. Not when Silver was staring straight at him, sighing and shaking his head.

“Maybe I should set a deadline… I don’t exactly want to pressure you, but a goalpost like that will hopefully stop you stagnating? And we need to go over some rules…” Silver rubbed his face tiredly, and Sebek recalled yet again that Silver was likely running on fumes by this point. He didn’t want to cause him more hassle, not when Silver was helping him out so much by simply agreeing to this, so he would do whatever he could to make this easier. Though the idea of a deadline was stressful, considering Sebek still wasn’t sure how he would be able to explain everything to his parents… He hated the idea of worrying them, or disappointing them, and telling them the truth would ensure both of those things.

But he had more time to think, at least.

“I shouldn’t need a deadline! I don’t wish for us to be stuck in a pretend relationship either!” Silver nodded tiredly, Sebek surprised he wasn’t insistent on a set date, but he was slowly realising Silver will have set a timeframe in his head and was liable to bring it up when they neared it. He figured it'd be a couple of his family reunions, tops.

Still, that was a problem for the future and wasn't important right now: understanding Silver's boundaries was.

“As for rules, what do you suggest? I assume kissing is a definite no.” Silver nodded immediately at that, which was understandable, but it was going to make pretending a little difficult. A simple kiss would convince most people, but Sebek wasn't going to distress his closest friend just because he was struggling to get out of a situation he caused. “Is hand-holding ok?”

“I… suppose? Though I don't see why we'd do that unless there was a chance of us separating.” Silver's blunt answer threw Sebek for a moment, realising Silver not only had zero interest in romance, but also zero knowledge if he didn't understand why couples liked to hold hands. This was utterly baffling, Sebek looking at his friend in an entirely new light, as had he never read a romance novel?

…Actually Sebek had never seen him read a book. A romance film? Wait, Silver fell asleep watching any movie… None of their close friends had started relationships whilst they were students, Lilia had never dated anyone through Silver's entire upbringing, and Silver wasn't constantly around Sebek's lovesick parents.

Did he genuinely not know anything about romance…? This might be more difficult than Sebek first realised, as how was he meant to convince his family they were dating when Silver was this clueless?

“Couples… hold hands to just stay close to each other. It's the same with hugging a lot, and generally just casually touching each other. It's a way of showing affection.” Sebek watched as Silver furrowed his brows in thought, before he shrugged tiredly.

“Hugging is fine. We're rather tactile anyway, so same with just casual touching I suppose. Anything else in particular couples usually do?” That gave Sebek confirmation that Silver truly had no idea, and he rubbed his forehead as he tried to not spiral at the reality that this was likely hopeless. His family would immediately realise, and this would be for nothing.

But that was doing Silver a disservice. He might not know now but he was a quick learner. “They oftentimes call each other by pet names.”

“Pet…?”

Great Seven, Silver, are you for real?? Sebek exhaled slowly, trying to keep his voice steady as he answered Silver's confusion. “It's a nickname, but again meant to be affectionate. Such as ‘dear’, or ‘honey’ or ‘sweetheart’.”

Silver's expression twisted further. “Those… are weird. Can I not just call you Sebek?”

“Of course you can! Not every couple uses them.” So far they barely had anything that made them seem like a convincing couple, in fact cuddling and holding hands were things they could simply do as friends, and Sebek's previous anxiety started to surface again as he desperately tried to consider other acts.

“There's… There's also…” Sebek was suddenly drawing a blank, wondering how to get any of this across to Silver when he'd never seriously dated anyone either. There'd been a couple flings, but they'd been exceptionally casual and Sebek had broken them off almost as quickly as they'd started, whereas this relationship with Silver was meant to be a long-established one if they were living together. “Dates…?”

“Oh, like going to restaurants and such.” Silver actually knew something, and Sebek was utterly baffled for a moment before Silver's expression grew troubled. “Though we have lunch together all the time, what makes a date different…? Is it feeding food to each other?”

Had Silver seen a couple on a date before, and was just listing off things they did during it? “Ah, they held hands too, that's what you'd said before… And they laughed a lot?”

He really is just remembering someone else's date. 

“Perhaps we should consider dates later. It's not like we're going to go on one in front of my parents.” That seemed to frustrate Silver, or maybe he was just getting a headache as he rubbed at his face again. Sebek realised instead of asking about everything they could do together, he should simply ask Silver what they couldn't do. “We should focus instead on what you know makes you uncomfortable, Silver. We'll just keep checking in with each other for the rest of it.”

“Alright. That makes sense.” Silver looked at the table in thought, the crease between his brows deepening slightly as he concentrated. “I know I dislike the idea of kissing. I don't really want someone else's saliva on me, that's… just gross. I didn't like that lady constantly complimenting my appearance, and I especially disliked it when she patted my behind. It's also weird when people wink at me, and there was this one guy who kept insisting on buying me things until I told him to stop.”

Silver just kept going, and Sebek felt his chest tighten with growing dread as he really didn't like romantic attention from people at all.

“Obviously nudity is a no, but we don't have to act whilst here, right? I think I'd murder you if we had to share a bed…” That startled Sebek, the man sitting back and glaring.

“What's that supposed to mean?! You sleep through ANYTHING!”

“And you just cocoon under all the covers. I would prefer to not have to fight for a blanket every night, so we are not sharing a bed.”

“WE DIDN'T HAVE TO ANYWAY!!”

Silver winced once again at the volume, before closing his eyes with a pained sigh. Sebek had assumed Silver had given up on the conversation finally, his patience running out as his exhaustion caught up to him, but he suddenly opened his eyes in surprise. “Oh. Uh. I… suppose an important part of being a couple is saying… Um.”

To Sebek's complete astonishment, Silver's cheeks started to turn pink in his following silence. It was a sight Sebek had never seen. Silver rarely grew embarrassed in the first place, nevermind getting embarrassed enough to blush, and he'd been about to ask what was wrong when Silver finally mumbled. 

“Saying you love the other person… right?” Sebek had not considered that, the very concept making his own cheeks blush, and he felt his chest constricting. He'd never really said that to Silver before. Maybe indirectly, when Silver had been struggling in the past, but certainly not a simple ‘I love you’. Those words felt heavy suddenly, and he wasn't sure if he could even say them when Silver spoke up again.

“I… could probably say that. Though I imagine it'll just… sound odd.” Glancing back at Sebek when he'd finished speaking, Silver's expression grew tight before the intensity in his gaze almost made Sebek press back into his chair. “I love you?”

Silver was right, it sounded odd, it sounded extremely odd, and he almost choked on his own spit. 

“W-Why’d you say it like it's a question?!” Sebek stammered, and Silver's frustration simply grew.

“I didn't mean to. It's not exactly something I've said to anyone other than my father.” A sudden idea clearly came to Silver, the man’s eyes widening a fraction before he again looked directly at Sebek. He looked a lot less intense, a quiet smile on the edge of his mouth even if the warmth didn't quite reach his eyes. “I love you, Sebek.”

That… sounded a lot more convincing, even if his name had come out a little clipped, and Sebek's flush just grew worse because what had caused the sudden change? His chest was still uncomfortably tight at the idea of saying the same, and Sebek had no idea how he was meant to respond before something dawned on him.

“Wait, did you just pretend I was Master Lilia when you said that?” Silver glanced away, immediately telling Sebek the answer, and he shook his head in disbelief. “Is it truly impossible to imagine saying it to me!? Even platonically?!”

Silver shrugged. “We don't normally say it, and it's not like you've said it either. A relationship goes both ways, dear.”  

To have Silver go from saying pet names were ridiculous, to using one to specifically wind him up, was both unexpected and entirely something Silver would do. Trying to not rise to the bait, Sebek took a deep breath and decided to prove Silver wrong. He would give a much better admission of love! Without pretending he was speaking to his parents!

Moving to take one of Silver's hands (although he essentially snatched it, causing the other man to stare at him in confusion) Sebek cleared his throat. “I love you, Silver!”

Again, Silver winced at the volume, tugging his hand back just so he could cover his ears, and Sebek knew he was playing up his discomfort on purpose. Silver wasn't the most expressive, but he was a terrible liar to those who knew him, and the mirth in his gaze was impossible to mask even with his attempt to look annoyed.

“Well, I didn't shout it, at least…” Silver muttered, and Sebek growled and moved to stand up—his own patience coming to an end.

“I DIDN'T SHOUT IT! YOU'RE BEING FACETIOUS ON PURPOSE!!” This time Silver was genuinely wincing in pain, and he lifted a hand to try and get Sebek to quieten down.

“God, ok, fine, just—” After a moment to settle the ringing in his ears, Silver sighed before shaking his head in disbelief. “I'm not sure how this is going to work, Sebek. I'm still willing to give it a try, but truly you should start working out how to speak to your parents. We won't be able to pull this off long-term, that's for certain.”

Sebek grit his teeth. “I know that. And I intend to figure it out! This is just to give me more time!!” A small thought crossed Sebek's mind, the man’s frustrations calming with it, as he spoke half to himself. “Maybe we could stage a breakup and I swear off dating for a while because of heartbreak—”

“Tell them the truth, Sebek. I'm not moving out just to pretend we've split up, otherwise I'm breaking up with you right now and you can find someone else for this ridiculous charade.”

Sebek knew no one else would even entertain the idea, or would be as convincing an option as Silver. They'd known each other twenty years, were living together, and had faced far too many trials together. This was just another one, and he was sure they would get through it.

He hoped they could get through it.

Chapter Text

It had only been a day, a single day, when things started to go completely terribly. Sebek had spent an embarrassingly long time trying to come up with some kind of plan for his family’s next get-together, as he was confident they would invite Silver along. It was going to go terribly, what with how repulsed by literally everything Silver was, but he knew he’d be able to come up with something eventually. He had a few months, he would definitely come up with something.

Though it would be much easier to think if the rest of his patrol weren’t constantly whispering amongst themselves. It was beyond distracting, Sebek pulled from his thoughts yet again, only this time he was certain he’d heard his name. He outranked the rest of this squad by quite a margin, and was primarily here to oversee the current sergeant with the new form of training Silver had devised, so it was beyond disrespectful to be whispering about him. Even without the ranking it would be disrespectful, and Sebek growled when he turned around to confront them.

“What is it?! Cease your muttering and speak clearly if you are to address me!” The soldiers flinched, at least having the respect to stand at attention, and Sebek exhaled slowly. He reminded himself they were new, that they were young, and that shouting didn’t help. Silver had frustratingly proven that point by consistently having the best results, despite never raising his voice unless he was issuing drills.

One of the soldiers, a small owl fae, stepped forwards and spoke up. “My apologies, sir! We’ve been rather distracted, which is wholly unprofessional, but if you were to answer us this question I swear to you there will be no more distractions!”

Sebek raised a brow at that, confused what this could be about, and he nodded for the woman to continue speaking. She seemed to light up at the allowance, her pupils widening, and he wouldn’t have been surprised to hear her accidentally hoot if she got even more excited.

“Thank you! I— well, we wanted to confirm something General Vanrouge said this morning.” It had been years and Sebek still originally assumed people spoke of Master Lilia whenever they addressed Silver by his title, but he was curious as to what could be distracting them so much. “He said you’re his boyfriend…? I was shocked to hear it, and I wondered if he was joking, but it’s always hard to tell with him.”

Sebek had visibly paled.

His throat had constricted at the word ‘boyfriend’ leaving the young knight’s mouth, his heart stopping, because why was Silver telling people that?! He thought it was obvious their fake relationship was meant to fool his parents and only his parents, but to bring it up so casually at work? So they’d have to pretend with everyone?! For a moment Sebek forgot how to breathe, uncertain if he would be able to do so ever again, but with the look of confused concern growing on the knight’s face, Sebek managed to force his mouth to move.

“Y— YES! WE ARE! IT’S—” Sebek was feeling faint, all the blood that had left his face earlier rushing back in a deep flush at the fact he didn’t know how to deal with this. They’d have to pretend in front of everyone, when Silver couldn’t even think about kissing. They’d have to pretend in front of everyone, when Silver had no idea why couples liked to hold hands. 

This wasn’t going to work, people would immediately find out they were lying, then his parents would discover he was lying before he even came up with a plan, and all of this would be for nothing. “I HAVE TO GO.”

It was unprofessional, his break wasn’t soon at all, but Sebek turned and stormed out of the hall he'd been posted in. He needed to find Silver. Immediately. Maybe he could stop him from telling more people, and it wouldn’t spread all the way to the castle town. Maybe they could correct people that they weren’t actually dating—though he’d foolishly just agreed that they were! In front of a group! Loudly!!

What time was it? It was still before lunch, and Sebek was certain that, on the roster, Silver was busy in the courtyard all morning. He was leading training of the newest recruits, and as Sebek left the castle interior and his eyes finally adjusted to the sudden sunlight, he caught sight of Silver working through a set of drills as a demonstration. He swung his large magearm around like it weighed nothing, his form beyond perfect, though as he moved into a long guard Sebek noticed a slight cringe to his face—subtle, but Sebek had known this man twenty years. The form was still perfect, but Sebek knew his arm was giving him trouble.

He should just use a feder, it’s what the recruits are using. They wouldn't think anything of it. Sebek half-thought to himself, but the concern hadn’t been enough to settle his previous fury. Especially when that incessant whispering started up here too as he approached the courtyard. He at least waited for Silver to have put his blade away before shouting at him.

“SILVER!!!” The other man had startled violently, whirling quickly to look in his direction. Sebek had caught sight of Silver’s hand instinctively moving back to the hilt of his magearm. He'd clearly assumed Sebek would only be arriving and shouting his name if Malleus was in danger, but he’d quickly realised Sebek wasn’t running even if he was storming over to him. And, really, if Malleus was in danger Sebek wouldn’t be coming to get him—people would be coming to get Sebek.

Silver too, of course, but they were both Malleus’ personal guards so it would make no sense for Sebek to leave their liege’s side in an emergency. As he neared the group, he started to catch some of those whispers that had simply grown louder as it became clear training was definitely interrupted.

“Is it a lover’s quarrel?”

“No, the Lieutenant General’s just like that.”

“That’s really unfortunate, what does Silver see in that?”

Sebek’s growling deafened some of the noise, and Silver tilted his head as Sebek neared—his ponytail swaying with the breeze—as he obviously grew confused. Sebek just grew angrier, wondering how Silver couldn’t understand how stupid he’d been, and he grabbed Silver’s wrist tightly and gave him a tug.

“Sebek?” Silver’s brows furrowed slightly, annoyed by the rough handling, but Sebek didn't apologise and spoke in a low voice.

“We need to talk now.” Those words were practically a growl themselves, and Silver had opened his mouth to question him further when Sebek tugged his wrist with more force. There had been a small noise of pain from Silver, and Sebek loosened his grip in concern even if he didn’t stop trying to drag him away. Surprisingly Silver went with him, even if he did yank his wrist out of Sebek’s grasp.

Though the fact he moved to instead hold his hand threw Sebek for a moment. Silver’s grip on his hand was overly tight, was exceptionally awkward, and clearly now wasn't the time to hold his hand. Sebek felt his face heating with indignant fury as he heard those whispers starting up again, and he simply sped up.

Towards the end of the courtyard was a wooded area, leading into a small rose garden, and Sebek knew the woods would be quiet as he dragged Silver into a denser area. Clearly Silver’s patience was running thin, however, and he stopped following—keeping hold of Sebek’s hand so the momentum would tug him backwards. It only made him angrier, growling as he turned around, and Silver just sighed.

“What is this about…? I was busy.”

“WHY ARE YOU TELLING EVERYONE WE'RE DATING?!” Sebek shouted, and Silver’s face scrunched up from the volume but also in utter confusion when those words sunk in.

“Uh, because you want us to fake date…? Did you literally forget?” The man was being painfully dense, speaking as though Sebek was the insane one right now, and how Silver’s blank expression could infuriate him so badly was an eternal mystery.

“I DIDN'T FORGET! I'D INTENDED TO ONLY PRETEND IN FRONT OF MY FAMILY, SILVER!!” Sebek had shouted again, though Silver didn't react to the volume this time, the man's expression growing shocked and if he wasn't already so pale, Sebek could see him paling further. Silver had glanced away, the dreadful reality of their current situation slowly sinking in, before Sebek saw the moment that dread twisted into anger.

This conversation was going to go terribly, Silver's brow twitching as he finally glared back at Sebek.

“You… You should’ve been more specific! People— People have been asking me questions all morning! I’d been asked if I had a nice evening, and offhandedly said I met up with my boyfriend at a coffee shop on the way home, and then the questions started! ‘You have a boyfriend?! Who are you dating? Zigvolt?! I thought you were just housemates!’ God, Sebek, I hated every second of it! And then someone clearly told the recruits because they started asking as well and I just—” Silver exhaled sharply through his nose, bringing a hand up to his forehead as he closed his eyes in clear annoyance. His right hand clenched and unclenched, his old injury clearly bothering him a lot today and Sebek assumed his mood wouldn’t be helping.

“WELL IF YOU’D THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR FIVE SECONDS WE WOULDN’T BE STUCK HAVING TO PRETEND WITH EVERYONE!!”

“HEY.” Silver snapped, his hand coming away from his head as he took a step forward and into Sebek’s space—a fiery glare on his face. “This isn’t my fault. It’s not like I’m an expert in pretending to date people. You—” Silver prodded Sebek firmly in the chest, just making the half-fae’s anger grow, “—came up with this stupid idea in the first place, and you—” another prod, “—didn’t explain it properly!”

Sebek had seen red in that moment, his fury and anxious energy driving a fist forward, but Silver had countered it flawlessly. Had deflected his blow, grabbed and twisted his arm, before Sebek suddenly found himself pressed face-first into the ground. Silver’s knee was in his middle back, his arm held behind him just on the edge of being painful, so if he tried to move Silver would be able to twist it and stop him immediately. 

“Calm. Down.” Silver’s low voice growled in his ear, beyond furious with him, and Sebek felt a cold fear flood through him. He recognised that tone, immediately, and he knew he shouldn’t have swung for Silver.

“S-Silver I—”

“It’s General Vanrouge.” Silver snapped, tugging Sebek’s arm just slightly to force a hiss out of him. “Now I’m going to let go of you, and you are going to apologise for your misconduct, and maybe I won’t write you up for this.”

Sebek took another steadying breath, the last of his anger leaving him, and when Silver let go of his arm and quickly stepped back—prepared for if Sebek would lash out again—Sebek could have cursed his stupidity. He felt clumsy as he stood up, brushing the dirt from his uniform to be at least somewhat presentable, before bending at the waist in a low bow.

“Forgive me, General Vanrouge!” The apology felt like ash in his throat, the man feeling like a fool for needing to utter it in the first place. His actions had been unprofessional, unbecoming, and Sebek was furious with himself. “My actions were unacceptable! I should not have lashed out like that, and will gracefully accept a summary hearing if you deem that to be the appropriate action!”

The idea of being fired—or possibly going to prison—for a foolish lapse in temperament kept Sebek in his bow. He had attempted to attack a superior officer, even if it was just Silver, and that was unacceptable. There were only three people he took orders from: Queen Maleficia, Prince Malleus and Silver. He’d completely failed in his duty, and Sebek felt his throat growing tight, felt his eyes stinging as he couldn’t believe he’d potentially ruined his life’s work, his life's dream, simply because he couldn’t tell his parents the truth.

Everything was going wrong, and Sebek couldn’t hold back a sniffle when Silver let out a long—and tired—sigh.

“Stand up, Sebek.” His tone was soft again, that commanding fury having settled, and Sebek rubbed at his face when he stood upright. Silver wasn’t glaring at him anymore, tiredly pinching the bridge of his nose, before he shook his head. “A summary hearing is a bit extreme. You didn’t even hit me…”

There was a slight smirk to his lips, an effortless confidence only someone like Silver could pull off, and it had meant to be teasing. It told Sebek immediately there were no hard feelings, and the relief he felt almost made those held-back tears fall, but he’d gotten better at preventing his crying over the years. Though he watched as Silver sighed again, that smirk dropping as he tiredly closed his eyes.

“Though if that had been anyone other than you, then there would have to be a hearing… Damn it.” Silver’s curse confused Sebek, as it had seemed to come out of nowhere, and when the man reopened his eyes he looked unimpressed. “We’re going to have to declare a conflict of interest with Malleus because of this, aren’t we?”

It had taken Sebek a moment to understand what Silver was even talking about, as how would this attempted assault be a conflict of interest, before it dawned on him. Silver was talking about their fake relationship. If they were openly dating—a fact they couldn’t take back now as much as Sebek wished they could—then they would have to declare it to Malleus. Or even the queen. Having to openly formalise such a thing was beyond uncomfortable, and if Sebek were entirely honest he would rather avoid it, but it would be unprofessional not to. If Malleus caught word of their relationship—which he would, considering how quickly the news was already spreading—and hadn’t been informed in advance it would not end well.

For starters, he would be furious his ‘younger brother’ hadn’t told him directly, which was an argument Sebek didn’t wish to ever be involved in, but it would also put both of their careers into question. Granted, Sebek hadn’t been made Lieutenant General at Silver’s recommendation, it had been Malleus himself nominating him and had been agreed upon via the senate, but still. It wouldn’t look good if both of Briar Valley’s top commanding officers were being influenced by their personal relationship to each other.

Though technically… their lifelong friendship, and the fact they lived together, had already been a conflict of interest. Like Silver had just said, if anyone else had tried to punch him in blind anger, it likely would’ve escalated to a summary hearing and—honestly—likely would’ve ended in their imprisonment. Any form of misconduct towards a superior office was a serious crime, and trying to start a fight was certainly misconduct. But because it had been Sebek, and because it had been Silver, they were going to turn a blind eye entirely.

At least Sebek had only lashed out when it was just the two of them. If they’d had witnesses, it could’ve been called into question.

Sebek brushed more dirt off of his uniform, before casting a cleaning spell to handle the rest. It’d hold up until he could get his clothes laundered, and he exhaled tiredly himself. “You’re correct. We have to tell Lord Malleus about this—it’ll cause problems if we were to leave things as they are.”

“Great.” Silver muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I have training to return to. If you’re able to request an audience with Malleus during your rounds, do so. I’d rather speak to him sooner than later.” 

Giving a quick bow, Sebek watched as Silver bowed in return and tiredly made to leave. He looked exhausted suddenly, and Sebek felt guilty for potentially taking a large chunk of Silver’s energy for the day, but the man’s fatigue was nothing new. People knew how to accommodate his drowsy spells, had done so for years now, and considering how overwhelmingly skilled Silver was in his position they would likely continue to accommodate for years to come.

So long as Silver wasn’t potentially dismissed because of their pretend relationship. That hadn’t been something Sebek had considered, as the likelihood was so low, but it wasn’t entirely impossible. It wouldn’t come to that, surely, but Sebek still found himself growing concerned as he made his way to speak with Malleus.

—

Sebek had managed to arrange an audience with Malleus, thankfully for just after Silver was due to have finished training the recruits, and the pair were awaiting Silver’s arrival in Malleus’ study. The prince had been more than a little curious what this was about, clearly unaware of the growing rumours that had hounded Sebek for hours. That was at least one positive to their situation, as unacceptable as Sebek considered it to be: Malleus was unapproachable. People were still wary of him after his overblot, even if it had been over a decade since, and on top of that he was still the heir apparent. There were only a handful of individuals who would approach Malleus so casually, and one of them wasn’t even in the country right now.

The other had just walked in, smiling quietly as he closed the door behind himself, and Silver gave Malleus a polite bow when he stopped before the pair. Sebek could tell there were some nerves in his posture, or perhaps Silver was simply masking his annoyance, but Sebek couldn’t dwell on it for long as Malleus spoke up when Silver straightened.

“I’ll admit I was rather curious when Sebek wished for you both to speak with me. Not that an audience with my two knights isn’t a pleasant change of pace, but normally any issues are handled smoothly between the two of you. I am interested to know what could trouble you both so.” Malleus spoke calmly, his clasped hands resting casually on his knee, and Sebek felt his throat tighten at a sudden reality.

He was about to lie to Malleus.

They were going to lie to Malleus.

Considering how against this whole idea Silver had been in the first place, Sebek had not expected him to be the first to speak up. “We… are here to announce a conflict of interest, my lord.”

Malleus’ head tilted in curiosity, his noble brow raising in question and with a wordless approval to continue speaking. “Sebek and I… Our relationship has changed.”

“Changed? In what way?” Malleus’ gaze drifted from Silver to Sebek, and the half-fae straightened at the attention before he spoke up himself.

“W-We are in a romantic relationship, my liege!” The complete surprise on Malleus’ face was not unexpected, considering how the pair had never shown an interest in each other romantically the entire twenty years they’d been together. Yet Sebek desperately needed Malleus to believe them both, so he nervously moved to hold Silver’s hand—the man holding it in return. Again it was too tight of a grip, and wasn’t romantic in the slightest, but to Sebek’s amazement Malleus’ expression seemed to soften.

“I’m… surprised. Silver had made it rather apparent he wasn’t interested in romance. What exactly changed?” Sebek felt his throat tighten at Malleus’ simple words, completely unaware Silver had been so open with Malleus about something personal like that. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, again they both acted like siblings, but still Sebek hadn’t considered it. Silver glanced away, and Sebek was stunned when he noticed his cheeks were dusted slightly pink.

“A-Ah, well, it…” Silver’s voice was tight, and a little awkward, and perhaps he was also struggling to lie in front of Malleus. “Sebek is… different.”

That wasn’t exactly romantic, as different could mean anything, but Malleus’ expression somehow softened further. Like he was glad at this turn of events, and Sebek couldn’t understand it. He almost felt like he could faint when Malleus directed that gentle smile towards him.

“This is most excellent news. I am overjoyed to hear you have both found that connection in one-another, and wish you continued happiness in your union.” Malleus had moved to stand and, to Sebek’s complete and utter alarm, moved around his desk to pull the two of them into a hug. Sebek was definitely going to faint. His face was pressed into his liege Malleus Draconia’s shoulder, and a glance to his side showed Silver was also flustered and pressed into his chest, and Sebek didn’t know what to do. Hugging him in return was out of the question!

Silver did give Malleus a brief squeeze, the motion utterly disgraceful, before speaking slightly muffled. “Thank you, Malleus. Your approval means a lot.”

Sebek could only squeak in response, trying to speak but his face was too flushed and his tongue too heavy to form a single word. When Malleus finally pulled back—they had been hugging for less than seventeen seconds and yet to Sebek it felt like an eternity—Sebek felt unsteady and needed to sit down. Malleus seemed to either be a mind reader (Sebek was certain he was powerful enough to do such a thing) or simply wanted to talk further, as he gestured towards the small sitting area in his study. 

The pair moved to sit together on one of the sofas, Sebek pausing a moment before scooting closer so he was pressed against Silver’s side. He felt the other man stiffen awkwardly, likely unfamiliar with the proximity, and Sebek had been about to move back when Silver instead lent more into him. His posture was still stiff, but Sebek loosely draped an arm across the back of the sofa, as though he were half-holding Silver, and he hoped that would be convincing enough that they were madly in love with each other.

Somehow it seemed to be the case, Malleus' smile growing fonder still, as he gestured to one of his servants. Immediately they went to serve them all a pot of coffee, and Sebek tried to not cringe at the smell even if Silver went straight to drinking it. The bitter scent was impossible to ignore this close up, and he was honestly surprised it didn’t cling to Silver at all times with how much he drank. Or maybe he did stink of coffee, seeing as Sebek didn’t really snuggle up to him—this was literally the first time, and Silver was only sitting close to his side.

“While I appreciate you informing me of the conflict of interest, as it could potentially come up during discussions with the senate, I do not foresee this becoming an issue.” Malleus began, pausing to drink his own coffee. “You have always had a close bond, and yet you have always put duty first. This I cannot see changing, and is why I nominated you for your roles in the first place.”

Silver just quietly nodded, but Sebek found his emotions spiking as he nodded frantically. “But of course, my liege! As much as I… adore Silver, I would never let these feelings get in the way of my duty as your personal guard, or dishonour my name as the Knight of Lightning!”

Malleus gave Sebek a quiet nod of approval, and the man couldn’t feel more proud. To know Malleus approved of him, approved of his dedication and drive, was always such a relief to Sebek. He felt his eyes stinging again, and Silver put his (already empty) cup of coffee down with a quiet sigh.

“I… also simply wanted to let you know, Malleus. We’ve only just become open about… this, and I didn’t want you to find out from rumours. It, uh, truly means a lot to me that you approve.” Silver’s words barely showed any emotion, but he had a quiet smile on his face even if Sebek could tell it was forced—his eyes didn’t mirror that same joy. Malleus at least didn’t seem to notice, especially not when Silver looked up at Sebek with that same smile. He was clearly trying to look fond, but it was certainly a struggle, and his words held barely any affection. “Sebek makes me happy, so I’m glad you are happy as well, Malleus.”

Sebek tried to smile fondly at Silver in return, but he didn’t exactly know how to twist his face like that. He tried to imagine something cute, something he adored, like the memory of their liege as a hatchling. It only worked so far, so he brought his hand to stroke along Silver’s arm—ignoring how Silver stiffened again at the touch.

“Of course I am happy, Silver.” Malleus spoke up, immediately dragging Sebek’s attention away from his friend. “I look forward to seeing how your relationship matures, as well as the potential of attending a wedding in the future.” 

At the mention of a wedding, Sebek had blanched, his stomach sinking as that was the last thing he wanted to go through with. Silver wouldn’t even be able to kiss him to exchange their souls, to seal their union, and furthermore it was completely fake. Yet here Malleus was, excited by the prospect of them getting married, and Sebek…

A small, microscopic, part of himself wanted to go through with it for the simple fact it would please Malleus. If they got married, his family would forever leave him alone about courting a stranger, and even if Silver would likely be annoyed by the idea, it wouldn’t prevent him from finding his one true love seeing as he didn’t want one. In fact, wearing a wedding band and using his husband as an excuse would likely save him from a lot of uncomfortable encounters, even if people really should’ve taken Silver’s refusal at face value. Should simply respect that.

But if they were to get married, Sebek would never find his love. One he quietly ached for, even if he kept himself busy with work. With his duty. He wanted a love of his own, someone who wanted to be with him, who wanted him, and Sebek immediately stopped thinking about that when he felt his chest twist painfully. He couldn’t just randomly burst into tears in Malleus’ study after Malleus had suggested they get married, it would lead to too many questions, and Silver might even call off their charade if he had to take the lie too far.

“Well… It’s a little soon for marriage, Malleus, but…” Silver shrugged slightly, Sebek again in awe at the fact he was flushing slightly, as what about this could be so embarrassing? He didn’t want to marry Sebek, after all, but it made the situation feel more believable. He looked like he was flushing in a timid, but pleased, way when in all likelihood he was probably disgusted. “Maybe one day…?”

That had been enough for Malleus, the prince nodding quietly to himself with that same fond smile, before the conversation drifted to how things had been lately. How Silver had been getting on with the new recruits, and how Sebek’s family were doing. Eventually the topic drifted to Lilia, like it often would, and how he was faring on his travels—not that he was the best at keeping in touch with everyone.

Still, he was keeping in touch enough, and it sounded like he was enjoying himself. He still sent his love whenever he remembered to contact them, and Sebek didn’t comment on how Silver had grown quieter during the conversation. Or how he had ended up drifting off pressed against his side. If they were a couple, he would have to accept slovenly behaviour like this, and he instead just idly stroked Silver's arm as he continued speaking with Malleus—trying to imagine he was stroking a cat or something so he wouldn't get weirded out by the fact it was just Silver potentially trying to drool on him.

Though when it became clear Silver was out of the conversation, Malleus had put his cup down with a little more force than necessary—the sound snapping Sebek's attention back to him. Unlike Silver, Malleus was far more difficult to read, but he felt… uncomfortable, with the way Malleus was looking at him right now.

A part of him debated waking Silver up, as clearly Malleus had been wanting to speak to him alone , but he would eventually have to face this. He guarded Malleus often, after all.

“I am sure you are quite aware, Sebek, that if any harm were to befall him I would not take it lightly.” Sebek felt his heart jump up into his throat, choking his airways as he looked at Malleus with a sudden fear. Despite how calm his expression seemed, there was no denying the fact Malleus was threatening him, and all because of Silver. Really he couldn't breathe, nodding repeatedly as though that would placate him, but Malleus just continued.

“I had hoped, in some way, that Silver's… disinterest in romance would ensure I would never have to worry for him. He would remain at my side, innocent and untouched by further heartbreak, but I had not accounted for you, Sebek.” The longer Malleus spoke, the more dread Sebek felt because he had never expected this in his wildest dreams. Malleus spoke with an almost possessive edge—likely his draconic instincts were louder at the idea of someone he treasured being taken away from him—and if Malleus' magic had been at his fullest Sebek was certain it would be thundering outside.

Or perhaps it wouldn't have, as Malleus eventually gave Sebek a quiet smile as though his words hadn’t been so severe a moment ago. “Do not look so troubled, Sebek. I had not accounted for this, but if I were to allow anyone to have Silver's heart, you are perhaps the only suitable candidate. There are few others I trust more in this world, after all.”

That… let the tension in Sebek's chest start to settle. The threat still remained, was very much real and made their inevitable breakup difficult if Silver didn't make it explicitly clear he wanted their relationship to end, but the threat wasn't assumed. Malleus seemed to believe he would be a good partner for Silver, somehow, and he took a steadying breath when he finally felt able to speak.

“Thank you, my liege!” Silver had made an uncomfortable noise, the pair of them freezing as they watched Silver shuffle more into Sebek, before stilling once more. A moment longer showed he was still asleep, and Sebek spoke quieter. 

“I will do everything in my power to ensure Silver is happy with me, and won't let you down. Won't let either of you down!” Despite his best attempts, Sebek's voice had rather quickly increased in volume again, and Silver grumbled further before a hand sleepily batted at Sebek's face. As though he were trying to turn off an alarm clock.

Sebek needed to bite his tongue to prevent himself from shouting in complaint, as this was entirely disrespectful! Yet Malleus was smiling at them both, and Sebek reminded himself they were meant to be dating. He was meant to love this annoying, completely improper, behaviour from his best friend.

So he instead moved to gently hold the hand that had stopped swatting at him but was still pressed into his face, and he brought it down to keep hold of it in his lap instead. Malleus just smiled further.

“You are both a rather adorable couple.” He'd spoken like it was the most simple thing in the world, like he was talking about the meal he'd had the previous night, and Sebek once again couldn't breathe.

He was beyond grateful that Silver was asleep right now.

Chapter Text

It took Silver far too long to wake up from his sudden nap in Malleus' study, and he’d very much drooled on Sebek's uniform. The worst part was Sebek couldn’t do anything about it. He had nowhere to go—and couldn’t lie about being busy because Malleus knew his schedule for the day—and he was meant to love this annoying man who was making his arm turn dead. Part of him wanted to lift him up, and say to Malleus he was going to take him somewhere else to rest, but really the quiet space of Malleus’ study was the perfect place for a nap.

Surely Malleus wouldn’t spend all afternoon here, talking quietly to Sebek, because he would have more important things to do! He wouldn’t be that enamoured by the relationship in front of him, right? Wouldn’t want to just sit there watching them.

Except that’s all Malleus pretty much did for the next hour until—blessedly—Silver started to stir. This situation wouldn’t have been so terrible if Sebek had something to distract himself with, but his books were in his own office or at home, and one hand was being half-crushed by Silver anyway so reading would’ve been difficult.

Silver had tiredly moved to sit up, blearily rubbing at his face. “S-Sorry… Did I miss much…?”

The past hour, Silver!! Sebek thought with a growing annoyance, and really today had gone horribly. They now needed to pretend to be a couple around everyone, and Malleus had threatened him. Today could physically not get worse.

Unless Master Lilia showed up and suddenly threatened him as well… Sebek did not want to manifest that possibility into existence.

“You did not miss much, Silver.” Malleus replied with a calm smile, though as Silver let out a noise of discomfort and flexed his right arm, Sebek watched as Malleus’ smile faltered a little. It was at this point Sebek realised Silver had sat to Sebek’s left, and had his whole body weight crushing his bad arm that had already been giving him trouble today. 

Massaging half-way down his forearm, Silver frowned slightly as he muttered to himself. “Might need to brace it…” Silver’s frown just deepened at those words, Sebek knowing from experience that Silver’s mood for the rest of the day was going to be terrible, and he watched as he let out a long sigh.

“I should really finish off some paperwork…” Silver sounded half-asleep still, moving to stand like he hadn’t just trapped Sebek here for the past hour, and leaving just as abruptly as he’d woken up.

Sebek took a careful breath, closing his eyes to hold it in, before exhaling just as slowly.

Today was really angering him, and he figured he’d use that energy for something productive. He’d thanked Malleus for his company—something Silver had completely neglected to do in his mood—before heading out to a quieter spot in the courtyard. He could run through some of the new techniques he’d read about, see if he could turn any of them into something useful, but mostly he knew the feel of his magearm in his hand would help. The weight of the blade and the sting of his muscles, his lungs burning with the cold mountain air, would definitely help his mood.

And it had done, at least until he’d lost track of time during his practice.

When Silver showed up, several hours later in his jacket and with his bag slung over his shoulder, Sebek’s good mood had soured immediately. His gaze caught the brace on Silver’s arm, which half-explained the scowl on the other man’s face, but didn’t explain why he was here. At least Silver hadn’t just stood there in silence, something he’d done far too often in the past, but his words didn’t explain much either.

“You weren’t in your office, and someone said they’d seen you out here.” That was all Silver had said, and Sebek put his magearm away and simply grew more confused. Especially when Silver continued to just stare at him as though Sebek could understand what this was about.

“...Yes, and?”

“We finish at the same time today. I thought…” Silver shrugged, shifting his bag a little. “Well, you’d have to get your things, but we could walk home together?”

Sebek was too tired for this.

“I would rather not. I’m in a pretty foul mood today.” Sebek muttered, moving to run a hand down his face. “You essentially outed me to the entire castle, shoved me on the floor—deservedly, but still—and then trapped me in the world’s most uncomfortable conversation for an hour. Quite honestly, I want to be away from you.”

Of course, Silver didn’t pick up on the point he was trying to make and instead focused on likely the one point Sebek didn’t want to speak on. “Malleus said something to you?”

Scoffing, Sebek physically had to get out of this conversation and started speaking as he made to walk past Silver. “He threatened me because I’m dating you. It was mortifying, Silver.”

He heard Silver’s boots following behind him on the flagstones of the courtyard, and when he felt Silver’s hand slide into his own like it had done hours ago, Sebek needed to inhale carefully to stop himself shouting at the man. It was Silver’s right hand and, not wanting to hurt him further, Sebek didn’t wrench his hand away—instead grumbling in his swiftly returning annoyance. “Let go of me.”

“But–”

“Now.” That hand at least left, but Silver was still going to follow him all the way to his office. The pair did so in silence, which helped, but Sebek still knew Silver was following him. Silver should just leave without him, go to his stupid coffee shop, and then they could just avoid each other for the rest of the evening. That’s what Sebek needed if he were to even pretend to want to be around Silver tomorrow, but of course Silver didn’t do that.

Instead, once they’d stepped into his office, Silver closed the door behind them and pointedly stood in front of it. Sebek took a moment to breathe, to pretend he hadn’t noticed the fact Silver was going to force them both into a conversation, and instead moved to gather his jacket and bag. Of course, Silver hadn’t budged by the time he returned, and Sebek simply glared at him.

“Silver, I'm not in the mood.” Sebek growled, about to force his way past Silver somehow, when the man held up a hand and spoke quietly.

“Just let me apologise.” Silver’s words were the last thing Sebek expected, the man blinking in surprise, and Silver took his silence as permission to continue. “I understand I’ve made things difficult, for both of us, and I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you about that. That was wrong of me. I’m…”

Sebek watched as Silver clenched and unclenched his right hand again, his expression growing frustrated and torn for several moments, before he sighed and finally gave in—gesturing with his braced arm. “It hurts today, and has made my patience wear a little thinner than usual.”

Some of Sebek’s anger settled with the admission, knowing for a fact if Silver was saying it hurt, that it would be agonising right now. He was far too stubborn like that, and with a frustrated sigh, Sebek held his hand out. “Let me carry your bag, then. You don’t want it to get worse.”

Of course, Silver couldn’t be normal about being in pain, and immediately started glaring at him.

“I said it hurts, not that I’m incapable of doing anything.” This was an argument Sebek had been subjected to far, far too many times over the years, and he stubbornly kept his hand held out.

“I didn’t say that to you either. If you refuse to let me help you like a normal person, then give me it as part of this damn charade.” Sebek grumbled as he spoke, but he didn’t rise to Silver’s sharp anger. “A good boyfriend would carry your bags if your arm hurts a bit, so let me pretend to be a good boyfriend.”

The last thing Sebek expected was for Silver to exhale sharply, and half-shove his bag at him. “Fine. But we’re also holding hands then. And also stopping off at the coffee shop, because I am utterly exhausted today and don’t have the energy for this.”

Those were a lot of demands just so Sebek would be allowed to carry his bag, and he exhaled slowly before moving to pull Silver's bag onto his shoulder as well. If he didn’t have the energy, Sebek didn’t know why Silver was so insistent on them walking home together. They could’ve walked home separately, could’ve just avoided each other all evening. That had been Sebek’s original plan, and he watched as Silver moved to rub at his arm again. He was trying to be subtle about it, but was failing miserably—leering in pain for a moment before he managed to smother it under a tired mask of indifference. 

Sebek let out a long exhale, closing his eyes to center himself, before he gestured to the door.

“After you, sweetheart.” Sebek muttered tiredly, and the sharp look Silver gave him just made him feel even more tired.

“I thought we agreed those were weird.” Despite his complaint, Silver moved to hold Sebek’s hand—the one he’d gestured with which hadn’t been held out for him to hold—and Sebek felt a headache coming on. They were still standing in his office.

“I was joking, could we just—” Sebek moved to open the door, finally, and half-dragged Silver out into the hall. Honestly walking home together, just so they could hold hands, felt exceptionally redundant. Everyone they would bump into would be strangers they would never see again, they didn’t need to pretend for strangers, but Silver seemed adamant about it. 

As adamant as he’d been about going to that coffee shop, too, and Sebek at least asked Silver to get him a cup of tea to make up for the detour.

The barista behind the counter clearly recognised Silver, requesting a total, before Silver gave her a quiet smile. “Actually, can I also get a cup of tea?” There was a small pause, Sebek realising he’d not told Silver what kind of tea he wanted, and he’d been about to speak up when Silver continued. “A herbal one, the… lavender and blackberry?”

Sebek blinked at Silver in alarm, and Silver looked back over his shoulder at him with that same calm smile he had on before. “Right?”

Looking at the herbal blends they had here, Sebek wanted to be pedantic and pick something else, but Silver had picked the exact kind of tea he would drink on an evening. Of course he had, and Sebek ignored how his cheeks flushed in frustration as he muttered in agreement. Silver seemed to smile more, his eyes crinkling slightly, before he turned and paid for both their drinks.

Though as they were waiting, it dawned on Sebek why Silver would have known what tea he’d drink—he’d bought the same drink literally yesterday, and Silver threw his drink away for him. He’d have just seen the tag, though Sebek had to admit it was a little strange to remember something like that, particularly when he’d been so focused on the supposed danger Sebek had been in. They weren’t waiting for long for their drinks, and were quickly on their way back to their apartment—Silver holding his hand yet again—when Silver spoke up.

“Is the tea nice?” His voice was quiet, and he seemed a lot calmer than he’d been back at the castle. Maybe he’d just really needed caffeine and was simply cranky, but his words made him seem half-asleep still.

“Yes? I had it yesterday, that’s how you knew to order it, right?”

“Oh.” Silver had paused for a moment to let Sebek’s words sink in, but he eventually shook his head. “No, I didn’t realise.”

Sebek scoffed, in complete disbelief. “There’s no way. You read the tag and—” Lifting his cup as he spoke, Sebek saw that the tag on the end of the teabag was simply the name of the cafe, not the blend, and that frustrated embarrassment started to flare again. Luckily Silver didn’t seem to notice, or at least didn’t comment on it, as he went on to explain his reasoning.

“You only have herbal tea after lunch, so you can still get to sleep. Lavender is your favourite for evenings, and I figured you’d like the sweetness from the blackberries. It was an educated guess.” It was strange how Silver’s words could both anger him and settle him at the same time, and he didn’t like the disorientating mix. Silver made his deductions sound so simple, so obvious, that it was frustrating considering Silver made him out to be some creature of habit. But then it was settling because… it was just nice, knowing his friend paid attention to the things he liked.

Though there was some guilt there as well, as Sebek slowly realised he had no idea what kind of coffee Silver liked besides black coffee. There were so many different types on the board in that cafe, and because Silver didn’t speak his order out loud he had no idea what he was actually drinking. He knew it wasn’t an ‘espresso’, those were really small cups, and Silver would have those only if he was actively falling asleep.

Maybe he did know things about Silver’s coffee habits. That information had effortlessly entered his mind, after all, and he tried to think back to if Silver had ever mentioned any favourite kinds but… he didn’t know. Hesitantly, Sebek nodded towards the cup Silver was drinking, and reluctantly asked.

“What… exactly are you drinking?”

“Why do you want to know? It’s coffee, you don’t drink it.” Silver had spoken bluntly, but clearly hadn’t intended to be blunt and rude about it, so Sebek swallowed his annoyance—and pride—to explain.

“I realise I don’t know what coffee you actually prefer to drink. In fact, I barely know the different kinds.” Sebek half-mumbled his answer, watching as Silver turned to look at him out of the corner of his eye, and Sebek didn’t want Silver to ask whatever question had clearly come to mind. Instead, Sebek managed to come up with an excuse which didn’t admit to how bad he felt when he realised he had no idea what his best friend liked. “I should know what your favourites are, if I’m your boyfriend.”

“Oh.” Silver accepted the excuse immediately, moving to take a sip of his coffee with a quiet smile. “Well, more often than not I’m simply after the caffeine. A simple black coffee with a splash of cold water, so I can drink it immediately, is what I normally order.”

That… sounded exceptionally boring, and exceptionally simple, but really what did Sebek expect? It was Silver. He was pragmatic to a fault, so of course he’d see the hot drink as just a method to get caffeine, and not something that he savoured and enjoyed.

“But…”

But…?

“The reason I like going to that cafe in particular is because their coffee is from a single origin.” 

Sebek had no idea what that meant, or why that was important, but thankfully Silver continued without realising Sebek’s confusion.

“Coffee can have a lot of different flavours, and are usually blends made up of beans from different origins. Some of those blends are really nice and complex, especially if you roast them to different levels.” The more Silver spoke, the more Sebek stared in surprise because this was a lot of information to take in, and a lot of information he didn’t realise Silver was paying attention to. “But the single origin beans can be complicated in their own way. It’s harder to get a single coffee that caters to a wider audience that way, because you can’t tailor it to everyone’s taste, but if you really like that one origin then… it’s unique.”

Silver was speaking a lot, something Sebek had only ever seen him do when it came to talking about swords, or horsecare, and he didn’t realise it applied to coffee as well. “The coffee at that store is from the Sunshine Lands, and tastes like honey.”

“...Honey?”

Silver nodded, pausing walking for a moment, before bringing his cup up to sniff. “I think they leave some of the coffee cherry on the bean during drying, so it’s extra sweet, but it even smells different. See?” Silver held his cup out towards Sebek, the half-fae recoiling on instinct because the scent of coffee was far too bitter, and Silver just sighed. “No, really. It’s nowhere near as bitter.”

Sebek didn’t trust it, leaning back from the offending cup and hoping Silver would take it away from him, but Silver was being just as stubborn—moving it closer and of course Sebek had to eventually breathe and he couldn’t move away because Silver was holding his hand tightly and—

That… doesn’t smell bitter…? Hesitantly, Sebek inhaled a little deeper, discovering the astringent scent of coffee he despised wasn’t there, and he narrowed his eyes at the cup in Silver’s hand. This smelt nothing like the coffee Malleus drank, the coffee they always had back in Diasomnia, and he almost believed Silver was trying to trick him.

“There’s no way that’s a coffee with just some cold water in it.” Sebek admitted, confused how coffee could actually smell that way, and Silver snorted softly. He finally let go of his hand, moved to take the lid off, and… it really was just black coffee?

“I’d offer for you to try it, if you don’t spill it everywhere.” Silver moved to put the lid back on at Sebek’s shocked expression, ensuring it was sealed properly, before again offering him the cup. The idea of drinking that was disgusting, Sebek cringing visibly because it was one thing for the drink to smell reasonable, and an entirely different thing for it to actually taste nice. But if Silver was telling the truth… he might finally, finally be able to drink black coffee with their liege!

Cautiously, Sebek took the drink from Silver—giving it another sniff to make sure it hadn’t changed into something disgusting—before he took a deep breath. There was no harm in trying it, and Sebek moved to reluctantly take a sip. He expected to have to spit out the extremely bitter substance, and it was a little bitter, but… like how chocolate could be bitter sometimes. Not astringent, not horrible, and he surprisingly took another sip just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. It really hadn’t been, Silver was telling the truth and somehow this coffee tasted like honey and chocolate, supposedly without having either in it.

“You’re… certain this is just coffee?”

“Positive. I’d offer for us to walk back and ask them, but we’re almost home and I’d rather start on dinner.”

When Sebek took a third sip, he couldn’t believe this was happening—especially when Silver snorted and gestured for his cup back. “That’s mine. Order your own next time.”

The very concept of ordering coffee from a coffee shop sounded completely baffling to Sebek, and he moved back to his tea. In comparison, the tea was so much nicer, but he could entertain the thought of trying that coffee again.

“Maybe… when we walk to work tomorrow I can try it again.” Silver was smiling softly to himself, moving to hold his hand just as uncomfortably tight as before, before setting off again.

“It’s a date.”

—

It had become a strange habit of theirs, heading to the café on their way to and from work together, that the baristas now knew what Sebek wanted to order as well. He’d tried a lot of different styles of coffee, all with that same ‘origin’ of coffee Silver had spoken about, and he found he really quite liked a mocha without the whipped cream on it—once Silver had told him to stop being weird about avoiding milk in his coffee. Especially as this wasn’t about drinking coffee with Malleus, the blend Malleus drank was still horridly bitter, and drinking this hadn’t made that any better. That was still a battle he had to overcome one day.

No, this had simply become a thing he did with Silver, and Sebek had to admit it was nice to spend time with him without talking about work. It was bizarre how knowledgeable Silver was about coffee, especially when he explained he wasn’t an enthusiast and had just picked up this information from going to coffee shops so often. Though Sebek supposed he’d also learnt a lot about it himself, even if it had primarily been from Silver.

That evening, however, Silver was working late and Sebek had genuinely considered just… heading home without visiting the cafe. Yet it had become part of his own evening ritual, even if it had only been a few weeks, and so he went without Silver. It was strange how the barista still smiled at him, glanced at the clock, and gave him the price for that lavender and blackberry tea—with a spoonful of honey added to it. The attention to detail was honestly astounding, but Sebek had to admit he liked the quiet and intimate attention. He didn’t know the barista’s name, they didn’t know his name, and yet they knew how he preferred his tea and when he preferred tea over coffee.

“Your boyfriend’s not with you this time?” The barista spoke up, moving to make up the teabag for his drink. Sebek stiffened a little, still surprised when people addressed the pair of them as boyfriends. They didn’t use pet names, they didn’t kiss, and they only came here a couple times a day during the week. They clearly worked together, so they could simply be commuting, but… maybe simply holding hands was enough for most people to come to that conclusion?

Considering how little their relationship had changed, really, it was honestly astounding the charade was working so well. 

“Sadly not.” Sebek started, trying to seem like the pause wasn’t caused by complete and utter surprise. “He’s working late today.”

“That’s a shame, he seems to really like the coffee here.” The casual conversation continued, Sebek amazed they were wanting to talk to him at all, but then he suspected Silver was normally in no state to speak whenever he visited so they might never have had the chance.

“He sure talks about it enough. I would not be surprised to discover you pay him to talk about it.” The barista laughed at that, handing Sebek his drink and wishing him a nice evening, when a sudden thought crossed his mind. “Wait, could I trouble you a moment.”

Sebek wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to ask, the idea forming faster than his words, but when the barista—Syril from the looks of their name tag—leant against the counter, he’d managed to find what he wanted to say. “The coffee he likes. Is it possible to purchase it in a form for him to make such a thing at home?”

The barista— Syril —seemed surprised, before nodding. “Sure, yeah. We have it pre-ground to brew it with a filter, though, uh, I remember him saying his housemate hates coffee? So he might not appreciate the gift.”

A rush of shame went through Sebek, the man rubbing the back of his neck, and Syril seemed to suddenly understand. “Oh! Sorry, that was rude of me, I shouldn’t have—”

“No, it is quite alright. I… very much don’t like the smell of most coffee, but this I don’t mind at all. Though… because of my insistence, we do not have any equipment he might need.” Sebek could feel his cheeks heating up, but thankfully Syril didn’t seem to judge him too harshly. Instead they smiled softly and moved to grab a bag of coffee from under the counter.

“So to use this, he’ll either need filter paper or a coffee press. We sell both, though you might be able to get a better press elsewhere.”

Sebek didn’t think Silver was the kind of person to be fussy about how to drink something he enjoyed, and there was a significant price difference between the press and simple papers, but… “Can he brew multiple cups at once with the press?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, this one can do about three or four? Depends on how much coffee and water you put in it, and he can still make a single cup too.” That seemed the most convenient option, so Sebek nodded and agreed to purchase the coffee and the press. They gave him a canvas bag to carry everything in, sent him finally on his way, and as Sebek was walking home he was hit with his second sudden thought that evening:

Silver had said he hated people buying him things.

Immediately Sebek stopped walking, immediately felt guilty for forgetting such a thing, and wondered if he should return it. But then he’d feel bad for wasting everyone’s time, and surely this wouldn’t be the same? It wasn’t just for Silver, after all, as they could have coffee together at home. Sebek could use it if Silver didn’t want it, and that thought was the only thing that managed to calm him enough to continue on his way home. 

Sebek then spent the next couple hours agonising over what to do. He could simply just leave them on the side and let Silver discover them? He was certainly not going to wrap them, that would annoy Silver, but he could at least present them to him? The worst part in all of this was the fact Sebek hadn’t even bought the gifts as part of their fake relationship, he genuinely just wanted to let Silver have coffee at home, so he had no idea why he was stressing out so much about it.

He’d been stressing out for so long, in fact, that he flinched when he heard the sound of the front door opening, signalling that Silver had returned home. Silver himself seemed just as alarmed when he turned on the lights to find Sebek had just been sitting on the sofa in the dark.

“Uhm. Ok.” Silver blinked, clearly half-asleep, and when he rubbed at his eyes and looked back at Sebek again he clearly grew confused. “What’re you still doing up?” Despite asking, Silver still moved to hang his coat and bag up, before sitting and taking his boots off. Sebek knew if Silver spent too long on either task, he could end up asleep in the kitchen until morning. He’d found him on several occasions asleep at the table with only one boot removed, after all.

The normalcy of the whole situation was unbelievably calming, Sebek wondering why he’d been so worried, as he moved to grab the canvas bag and made his way over to place it in front of Silver. “I got you something.”

Silver stared blankly at the bag, for a moment looking like he didn’t understand the gift was inside the bag, but he eventually seemed to catch up with himself. “You were sitting in the dark because you got me something…?”

Those words made Sebek sputter in embarrassment, half-tempted to snatch the bag from him, but Silver was already looking inside the bag. “It’s— I just thought—” 

It was immediately obvious when Silver realised what Sebek had bought him, as his eyes widened a fraction and he sat up straighter—pulling out both the bag of coffee and the press for it. When he didn’t immediately speak up, Sebek felt that discomfort twist at his chest again, because maybe Silver would get angry at him. Perhaps it was weird for a friend to give him a present like this, but when Silver finally turned towards him with a tired but joyful smile, that tension left him immediately.

“You’re ok with me having coffee in the house?” Sebek hadn’t imagined that would be what Silver focused on, but in hindsight what else would he focus on? Silver had made it clear the fact he couldn’t have coffee at home was frustrating, so this gift was less a gift and more of an understanding between them. Sebek hadn’t been pushing Silver’s boundaries by giving him this, he’d been explaining his own had changed, and Sebek nodded—tiredly now that his anxiety had finally faded.

“Only that coffee, the rest is still absolutely disgusting, but I believe that to be a fair compromise.” Sebek’s bravado wasn’t landing as well as he’d like, considering he was quickly growing exhausted, but he still tried. “It is your favourite, after all, so I cannot see you complaining.”

Silver snorted, before the sound shifted into a loud yawn—the man blinking and rubbing at his eyes afterwards. “This is really nice of you, Sebek, but it’s midnight and we should get to bed.” A tired laugh of amusement left him as he stood up and nudged Sebek. “This really could have waited until morning. You’re a strange one…”

Sebek was dead on his feet at this point, nudging back but making his way down the short corridor to their bedrooms without any complaints. Though when he looked back at Silver, he couldn’t stop the tired laughter from leaving him. “S-Silver you’ve got one boot still on.”

Seeing Silver pause, look down, and simply go ‘oh’ was the last straw for Sebek’s tired giddiness. The fact Silver needed to see his feet to know he was wearing one shoe, unaware of his weird gait or the fact he was still wearing a shoe, was too much and Sebek had to brace himself against the doorframe of his room as laughter overtook him. Silver had at least undone his laces before Sebek interrupted him, so he bent down to tug the boot off—lurching unsteadily in the process—before holding the boot out towards Sebek.

That just made him laugh more, confused why Silver was presenting the boot to him with a confused glare on his face. It was like the boot had personally offended him, and moments later the boot was on the floor and Silver had fallen asleep. He’d managed it perfectly upright, a feat that was bizarrely impressive, and Sebek eventually managed to settle his laughter enough to at least get the man into bed. Well, at least onto the bed, as Sebek was exhausted and didn’t want to fuss with the covers, and really Silver shouldn’t have fallen asleep upright in the first place.

His reluctance to tuck him in had nothing to do with the fact he’d immediately forgotten about, and subsequently tripped over, the boot Silver had dropped on the floor. And he’d certainly not done so a second time on the way back to his room, cursing and finally kicking it out of the way in the hope that he wouldn’t trip over it a third time when morning came.

Sebek had not done any of those things.

Chapter Text

Despite the exceptionally rocky start to their ‘relationship’, Sebek was actually surprised to find they were so far getting away with it. It had only been a month, granted, and they spent the majority of time at work like usual, but no one had questioned it. No one seemed to suspect anything, even if all they’d added were their coffee ‘dates’ before and after work, and the fact they would exchange a quick embrace if they bumped into each other at work. 

Well, unless it was a formal situation, in which case Sebek still treated Silver like his superior. Regardless, things were actually going ok, and Sebek was feeling surprisingly confident about his prospects of deceiving his family at the next get-together. Clearly the pair of them being such reserved individuals worked in their favour, as no one seemed to expect them to kiss. No one expected them to be overly affectionate, or have pet names, and some days Sebek even forgot he was meant to be head-over-heels with Silver because genuinely so little had changed. Their hand-holding was becoming second nature at this point, and Silver had finally worked out the appropriate amount of pressure to use. At least most of the time.

Though Sebek still hadn’t worked out what he was going to tell his parents… He’d thought about it a few times, but each time would turn him anxious as he could clearly imagine the heartbreak on his mother’s face when he admitted the lie. She seemed to adore the idea of him dating Silver, seemed to think it was a long time coming, and Sebek was really struggling to admit she was completely wrong. Usually she was uncanny with these things. She’d jokingly guessed who his older sister’s husband would be—long before they were even dating—and when they’d gotten married a few years back Sebek had been certain his mother was clairvoyant.

So for her to be so wrong about Silver would be quite upsetting for her.

Thankfully they hadn’t found any other boundaries of Silver’s they couldn’t cross, as that would make the limited amount they were doing even harder, but it really just nailed home the point that Silver did not want to date him, and would not want to date anyone. In fact he’d often demand distance once they were safely within the confines of their home, even if he insisted Sebek’s behaviour wasn’t distressing him. Sebek figured he was just getting annoyed being around him so much. It was one thing seeing someone more often at work, and an entirely other thing to then continue seeing them at home.

The biggest worry Sebek had was the idea their friendship could be irreparably damaged because of this.

Silver could get quite firm with him at times, and had always had a bit of a temper reserved only for him, but Sebek had never taken it as a negative. In fact, the idea he could rile Silver up so much had always been something that made him proud, as it allowed him to push Silver forward. Allowed Silver to actually become passionate about something, brought out a competitiveness and determination he didn’t have with anyone else, and it was why they were such close friends. Because Silver wanted to criticise Sebek, not because he could—he could do that with anyone—but because he wanted Sebek to do better. He cared about Sebek doing better, and Sebek was the same with Silver.

Sebek didn’t want to lose all of that over this, even if Silver wasn’t presently being his passionate self. It was the weekend, and Silver had spent most of it passed out asleep on the sofa. He’d tried to wake him a couple times, but Silver had either not stirred or had fallen asleep ten minutes later, so Sebek had given up and left him to it—instead focusing on a new novel he’d been meaning to find the time to read. Again, he should’ve been trying to come up with a plan, trying to work through the ridiculous anxiety it brought up, but it had been a long week. Reading until Silver finally woke up on his own wasn’t completely unacceptable. He was allowed breaks sometimes.

Though when a loud, rather firm, knocking came to the door of their apartment, Sebek immediately knew a break wasn’t coming. Somehow that noise had startled Silver awake, the man frantically rubbing the drool off his face as he stumbled to the door on autopilot. He didn’t need to be the one to answer it, Sebek had just been grabbing his bookmark to do the same, but when he heard Silver’s startled voice he realised he’d maybe dodged a bullet.

“F-Father?! You’re back? You never said you were—” He sounded oddly panicked, and Sebek strained to hear Lilia’s voice, but he’d clearly spoken when Silver spoke up again. “Sure, um, Sebek’s in the living room if you want to sit down? I can make some coffee…”

When Silver walked back into their livingroom, Sebek had never seen him look so distressed. He’d visibly paled, and had shot him a worried look before he darted into the kitchen—clearly the coffee was just an excuse to get away. Sebek didn’t understand why until Lilia walked in, and then he immediately understood.

Sebek had only seen Lilia look that angry a handful of times in his life—most of those were during a dream where Lilia believed he was in a war— and when he spotted Sebek he seemed to grow even angrier. The sight immediately had Sebek wishing he’d decided to spend the day in the library instead of hanging around the apartment, as he didn’t want to be here right now. Moving to stand, Sebek gestured towards the kitchen and tried to keep his voice steady. “I— I’ll go help him—”

“Sure, help your boyfriend. I’ll just wait here for you both to finally decide to speak to me.” Sebek had stiffened at the man’s tone of voice, at the man’s words, and he tried to make it seem like he wasn’t fleeing into the kitchen, but that was exactly what he was doing.

Silver was half leant against the counter, his head in his hands as he waited for the kettle to finish boiling, and Sebek felt terrible. He could easily piece together what had happened: someone other than Silver had told Lilia about their relationship, and he was furious about it. In a way Sebek was surprised Silver hadn’t texted his father, but then again their relationship wasn’t real. And Silver never lied to his father, so this was likely a nightmare come true for him.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, Sebek felt Silver flinch under his touch, and when he lifted his head his eyes were glassy with tears—the sight causing Sebek’s heart to drop to his stomach with a sudden wave of guilt. Squeezing Silver’s shoulder, Sebek leant in and spoke quietly. 

“This is my problem. I’ll speak to him, ok? You don’t have to lie to him.”

“I-I already have.” Silver half rasped, and he rubbed at his face in frustration when the kettle finished boiling. Shakily he moved to pour water over the coffee he was trying to brew, and when it looked like he would spill hot water everywhere due to his trembling, Sebek took the kettle from him.

“Just… Let me. Try and calm down.” Sebek again spoke quietly, watching as Silver nodded and moved to lean back against the counter, fussing with his ponytail and working through some breathing exercises. Moving to fill the coffee press and arranging everything onto a tray, Sebek was glad to see Silver seemed less on the verge of a panic attack by the time they had to head back through.

Though the tension in the living room was instantly suffocating, Sebek feeling like the small break did nothing to help, but he managed to place the tray down and start serving people their drinks—sitting next to Silver on the sofa when he was done. 

“This is a pleasant surprise!” Sebek tried to smile, tried to lessen the heavy atmosphere in the room, as Silver was barely looking up from his nervous fussing with his hair and Lilia looked beyond livid. “What brings you here, Master Lilia?”

“You know damn well why I’m here.” Lilia spoke up, his voice firm and clearly furious, and Sebek flinched at the sound—luckily not spilling his coffee over himself in the process. “I’d decided to surprise everyone, and went to visit Malleus first to let him know I’ll be back for a couple weeks, and what does he say? That you and Silver are dating? And you didn’t think about telling me? Not even a simple text message?!” 

Silver seemed to be shrinking in more on himself, and Sebek could not feel guiltier. Before he could even apologise, Lilia kept going.

“How long has this even been going on for?!” Lilia was looking between them both, surprisingly going to drink the coffee as though that would calm him even a fraction. Silver was still avidly avoiding looking at anyone—his fists gripped tightly together—so Sebek tried to force out an answer for them both.

“It’s— Master Lilia, forgive me, w-we’ve been together, um…” They’d not decided on a timeframe, and Sebek was panicking when he just blurted out a vague non-answer instead. “A wh-while.”

Lilia put his cup of coffee down, the crash of porcelain causing Sebek to flinch again, as he snapped. “And what does that mean, Sebek?! How long is a while? How long have you been hiding this from me?!”

To Sebek’s complete surprise, Silver spoke up, though his voice was barely a rasp. “It’s why we moved in together, f-father…”

Sebek had no idea why Silver had admitted that. That didn’t calm Lilia down at all, the man straightening and seeming to grow further annoyed. “You’ve been together for years?! Wh– Why didn’t you feel like you could tell me about this, Silver?” Slowly Sebek was beginning to realise Lilia wasn’t angry that they were dating, but was instead upset Silver didn’t feel like he could speak to him, and Sebek couldn’t feel more terrible he was putting a wedge between them.

Especially when Lilia’s anger only started to soften because of a growing despair. “I thought you could tell me anything, Silver… Did you think I’d be upset with you? That I wouldn’t accept this? I can tell it’s taken you both a while to become public, yet when you did you told everyone else but me? I wanted to hear this from you, not— not Malleus!”

Silver ducked his head again, his breathing a little shaky, and when he spoke again his voice sounded wet and mumbled. “I-I’m sorry, father… I didn’t… I-I didn’t m-mean…” The sight of Silver genuinely upset over this, over a fake relationship Sebek caused, didn’t sit well with the half-fae in the slightest. He sat upright, and faced Lilia with a newfound determination, as he wasn’t going to let Silver take the blame for his own mistakes.

“Master Lilia, it is I who should apologise!” Sebek spoke up, trying to not grow unnerved when Lilia’s sharp gaze snapped towards him. “It’s— The secretiveness is entirely due to me! I’ve— The fact I like men is— I-It’s— Well—” A soft touch came to his hand, Sebek flinching at how sudden it seemed, before he felt Silver move to gently hold his hand. It was meant to be comforting, and was likely just part of their whole charade, but… the reassurance his friend was there still helped. Smiling quietly at Silver, Sebek felt more steady when he turned back towards Lilia.

“It’s something I’ve struggled with for most of my life. I’ve always quietly felt… wrong, I suppose, and Silver has kept our relationship a secret out of respect for me. Until I felt comfortable. I’ve only very recently admitted all of this to my family, and being public about it has been… different. And a struggle at times. We never intended to keep this from you, Master Lilia! I just happened to tell my parents when you weren’t in the country, and with all of the changes it likely slipped Silver’s mind, as it certainly slipped my own! It is no excuse, but please know we’ve never been ashamed of telling you! Not at all!!”

Maybe he’d been a bit too honest with his speech, as the last thing he wanted was to have such a personal conversation with Lilia, but the sincerity seemed to have worked. The man’s expression softened, the fury and upset seemed less sharp, and Silver squeezed his hand in silent thanks. Though the motion caught Lilia’s attention, Sebek noticing his gaze snap towards their joined hands, and when he started smirking Sebek knew the danger hadn’t passed. It hadn’t passed at all, it had merely changed.

“Well. I can’t help the fact you’ve only just told me, but I can try and make up for lost time.” Lilia brought a hand up to his face, a slight chuckle leaving him as his eyes narrowed with mirth, and Sebek felt dread start to settle in his chest. “I’m probably exceptionally late, but I’d be remiss in my duty as a father, and as your mentor Sebek, if I didn’t emphasise the importance of safe sex.”

Sebek felt Silver tense up beside him with those words, and a quick glance showed he’d turned pale with immediate discomfort. Lilia didn’t seem to notice. He went on to describe male arousal, and then different kinds of sex, and Sebek could feel Silver turning more and more uncomfortable before he eventually pulled away from Sebek entirely. Honestly Sebek was uncomfortable too, and he’d had sex before. The last thing he wanted to hear about was sex from Lilia, and he imagined this was a genuine nightmare for Silver—especially when Lilia talked about how Sebek’s fangs could make certain things riskier.

“MASTER LILIA!!” Sebek shouted in alarm, his face flushing darkly as he did not like Lilia talking about his teeth like that, and he needed to get him to stop. “W-We don’t— Silver is uncomfortable with those things!!”

Lilia raised a brow in confusion, before jumping to the complete wrong conclusion. “Oh! Well, it’s not for everyone, so perhaps I should talk about preparation and the importance of cond–”

“HE’S UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THAT TOO!! PLEASE STOP!” The volume increase finally stopped Lilia continuing, though Sebek wasn’t entirely convinced he’d managed to get Lilia to fully understand what the problem actually was. Honestly he didn’t know how Lilia couldn’t see how uncomfortable Silver was right now, as he’d curled up even further against the side of the sofa with each new word that left his mouth.

Though it seemed like he was finally starting to understand, even if his expression just grew more and more confused as he looked between the pair of them. Lilia's gaze was always rather intense, but this felt even moreso as he sat back in his chair and folded his arms. “You're both so… Hm.”

Lilia's gaze narrowed slightly, like he was growing suspicious of them, and Sebek felt his throat tighten as maybe they were done for. If Lilia could realise they were lying, then Sebek's parents would definitely realise, and the anxiety he suddenly felt was nauseating. It was like Lilia was offering him some of his terrible cooking, not simply sitting in their living room, and he dreaded his next words.

“You're not… how I imagined you'd be as a couple.” Sebek refused to think on the implications behind those words, that Lilia had thought of them both as a couple, and luckily Lilia didn't dwell on it. Or comment on how Silver choked at the exact same realisation Sebek had. “You're just acting like usual.”

Silver looked just as pale as he'd been before, his skin a little clammy in fact, and Sebek wanted to save him from any further hardship. After all, he'd already sat through his father explaining how to have sex with Sebek, which was already traumatic enough.

“Well… We're a rather private couple, Master Lilia. Considering my discomfort… Even holding hands in front of someone else feels… a lot.” Sebek hoped his excuse sounded legitimate enough, and he tried to stop looking so terrified because that wasn't a normal response for a couple. “Also we've been dating for years, so of course our ‘usual’ won't be all that different.”

Thankfully Lilia seemed to accept that, or at least decided not to question it further, but it suddenly concerned Sebek that they didn't look like a couple. Malleus had accepted them easily, and Sebek had taken that as a good sign, but maybe that had just been Malleus. He didn't want to think ill of their liege, but the man was rather sheltered. Or perhaps he was just overly polite.

In fact that was likely it. He likely didn't believe they were truly in a relationship, hadn’t this entire time, but wouldn't comment on it like either of their parents would. Maybe that was why he’d mentioned it to Lilia, hoping the older fae would put a stop to their charade, and Sebek felt suddenly insecure and more than a little embarrassed.

Conversely, Silver seemed to have settled a little, shuffling to sit closer to him once more, but Sebek had no idea what contact Silver would be comfortable with currently. Before, when they'd been in front of Malleus, he'd seemed fine with him putting his arm around him—but in this moment he'd only just calmed down.

To Sebek's surprise, however, Silver moved to take his arm and placed it over his shoulders—keeping hold of his hand and pressing against Sebek with a tired and exasperated murmur. “Father, I'd prefer it if you didn't question our relationship… I love Sebek. Just because we're not big on public affection doesn't make that fact any less true.”

Silver had said he’d loved him so casually that Sebek almost believed he'd misheard him, especially as it didn't sound anywhere near as awkward as it had the first time. He was likely imagining he was speaking to his father again, but Sebek wouldn't criticise his bizarre methods when the words finally, finally made Lilia's gaze soften. Although Sebek didn't feel like he was being convincing enough himself, so he gave Silver’s hand a small squeeze in return.

Maybe he should say those words back…? His heart was racing at the idea of such a thing, because what if he messed it up? Or it sounded forced? It'd surely sound forced, so instead he decided to change the subject entirely.

“Master Lilia, how long are you back in the country for?” Sebek started, excited to potentially hear tales of his travels. “If you're free now we could catch up! I'd love to hear about your adventures.”

Silver seemed to sag a little against him, and Sebek was surprised to find he was drifting off again. Granted, he'd been fighting off sleep all day, but he'd assumed the stress of the situation would at least keep him awake. Perhaps Sebek changing the subject had suddenly filled him with relief, and then subsequent fatigue.

Considering what had happened the last time Silver left him alone with someone close to him, however, Sebek refused to let Silver sleep. Bringing his hand up, Sebek tapped his cheek gently—leaning down to speak to Silver more directly.

“Oi. I know you've been struggling all day, but your father's here. You should sit up and give him your attention!” Silver groaned a little at the words, his eyes flickering, but he did as Sebek asked and moved to sit upright—Sebek’s arm being released in the process. He brought both his hands up, pressing his palms into his eyes, before he mumbled tiredly.

“S-Sorry… You’re really comfy…” Silver muttered, rubbing his face as he tried to wake up fully. His words brought heat to Sebek’s cheeks, a mixture of embarrassment and indignation, and it didn't help when Lilia started to chuckle at them both.

“Now now, I won't trouble you both much longer. If you need to get him to bed, Sebek~” When Sebek had looked up at the man in confusion, he'd not expected him to wink at him, and that just made his flush worse. He was going to keep doing this, wasn't he? He'd been genuine about making up for lost time, making up for years of missing out on teasing them both, and Sebek was not looking forward to this.

It seemed Silver felt the same, the man tiredly leering at his father, and his expression only made Lilia chuckle further. “I'll visit again this week! I'm around for the next two before I set off again, but I won't be gone as long this time.”

At least Lilia was standing up, making to leave in a much better mood than he'd arrived in. The pair stood from the sofa as well to see him out, even if Silver lurched a little with his fatigue. “I'm off to see a festival in the Land of Dawning! But afterwards I'm thinking of sticking around for a bit, maybe spend a little longer catching up with everyone. Maybe visit my future in-laws!”

“Father…” Silver muttered tiredly, that leer remaining as he followed Lilia to the front door. He was still obviously teasing and Sebek wasn't entirely sure if he'd go through with the suggestion or not, but he leant towards the possibility of Lilia conspiring with his family to ceaselessly tease them. It was something he'd have to be prepared for, and Sebek watched as Lilia hugged Silver farewell and his friend closed the door tiredly.

A long, exhausted sigh left Silver—the man pressing his head against the door for a moment. Sebek was worried he'd end up falling asleep like that, so gave him a slight nudge, but Silver thankfully wasn't drifting off. He instead stood up straight with another sigh.

“Well… That could've gone worse.” Silver muttered, moving to rub at his face before he headed back into the living room. “So far we've gotten away with people just… taking our word at face value, but father's questions raised a good point: we need a consistent story.”

Sebek sat down next to him, surprised Silver was putting so much thought into this, but nodding for Silver to continue anyway. “I guess we started dating before we moved in together, then…? And we kept it private because you weren't ready to tell your parents…”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Silver let out a small yawn. He was genuinely exhausted, and Sebek hated that he was putting so much stress onto him like this. Absently, Silver moved to pick up his untouched cup of coffee. “What else would people ask us…?”

“Maybe how we got together. Who confessed first, how they confessed…” Sebek thought for a moment, trying to think of a time before they left the barracks where they could've changed their relationship. Strangely, Sebek quickly thought of the perfect moment. “I've got an idea. What about after we were knighted? We had that small picnic together to celebrate. Something like that could be considered romantic, from the right angle. We can say I confessed during that, and you accepted.”

Silver looked more awake suddenly, staring at Sebek with an expression that was hard to read. It was a mix of surprise, maybe awe, and maybe disbelief. Or perhaps confusion… Fear? It was genuinely difficult to tell, the details of Silver’s expression subtle as he stared at Sebek in silence for a moment. When he finally blinked, that odd expression left, and Silver spoke like nothing had happened.

“That works, I guess. The anniversary for that was back in the spring, right? People tend to remember important dates like that.”

“It was the 20th of April.” Sebek answered calmly, and that odd expression returned. It definitely seemed confused, but in a way Silver was contemplating something, and Sebek couldn't help his own confusion showing on his face. “What is it? Why'd you keep making that face?”

“It's just… weird.” Silver spoke plainly, which really didn't answer Sebek's questions at all. He yawned and rubbed his face again. “You've barely changed things we've actually done together and it's somehow this… Picturesque romance. I don't… get how that happens.”

That hadn't been what Sebek had expected to hear, the man growing baffled as his own confusion changed to surprise. “There's… nothing to get? A lie is more convincing the more grounded in truth it is, so I'm using situations we've actually been in to make things sound more realistic. That's all.”

Still, Silver was oddly quiet, and Sebek shuffled closer and placed his hand on Silver's upper arm. “What's wrong? If something's bothering you, tell me. I'm not a mind-reader.”

There was still more silence, Silver's brows furrowing a little in thought, before he eventually sighed and placed his empty cup down. “I don't know. I guess I'm still rattled by father's unexpected visit. Though…” There was a small pause before Silver looked at Sebek directly.

“Thank you. For trying to stop him talking about… all of that. I know he was just trying to tease, but I genuinely didn't like imagining… any of that.” He sounded quiet, perhaps a little vulnerable, though Sebek figured he was just really tired. Giving his arm a small squeeze, Sebek smiled at him reassuringly in return.

“It's fine. I didn't like any of it either. Especially the mention of my teeth—though I-I probably shouldn't bring it up again!” Silver's gaze had drifted a little when he mentioned that, but he didn't seem too uncomfortable considering Sebek dropped the subject immediately. “Besides, you were obviously uncomfortable. I wasn't just going to sit there and let you suffer.”

Silver's smile, soft and a little tired in their small living room, filled Sebek with an indescribable relief. It let him know Silver was genuinely feeling better, had genuinely appreciated the support, and he couldn't feel more proud that he'd managed to help out his friend.

“You're my best friend, Sebek.” Silver said, just as soft as his smile. “I… don't say that nearly enough.”

He’d not expected that, and Sebek had snorted almost as a reflex. “What's gotten into you? You're all weighty this evening.” Sebek had tried to sound casual, but honestly a part of him was concerned. It wasn't often Silver got quiet and in his head like this, but whenever he did it usually led to him thinking rather heavy things. Like losing his family, or thinking he was a burden.

Did he think he was going to lose Sebek one day…? That felt utterly ludicrous, but if Silver needed reassuring words right now then he'd provide them. He gave his arm another squeeze to get Silver's attention once more.

“You're my best friend too, Silver. My life would not be the same without you in it.” There had been a quiet surprise in Silver's expression, and Sebek ignored how his cheeks flushed in response. Or how Silver's smile grew into more of a smirk at his clear embarrassment. Instead, he cleared his throat and finally moved his hand away from Silver's arm. “That's neither here nor there! We need to decide on dinner tonight! I have been trying to wake you all day, and have asked you several times whether a lasagne would be suitable, but you have stubbornly refused to answer me!”

“Oh no, I'm feeling sleepy again…” Silver murmured, that teasing smirk growing, as he purposely slumped against the side of the sofa. Sebek felt annoyance prickle the back of his neck.

“It's your turn to cook! Stop trying to get out of it!!”

“Forgive me, Sebek…” Silver closed his eyes, that same smirk on his face, as he pretended to fall asleep, and Sebek only grew more frustrated—standing up and tugging Silver to stand as well.

“STOP MESSING AROUND! YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY FALL ASLEEP AND I WOULD LIKE TO EAT AT A NORMAL TIME FOR ONCE!” Silver's laughter at least let him know he was fully awake before he made his way towards the kitchen. Though he of course couldn't help himself from calling back over his shoulder.

“Lasagne’s fine, Sebek. Quit freaking out.”

Chapter Text

Lilia was swiftly becoming a nightmare.

Any time the pair saw him, he was immediately teasing them—regardless of who they were in front of or the situation they were in. Once he’d insinuated something obscene in front of Malleus and Sebek had not coped in the slightest, having to excuse himself for an hour to calm down from the mortification he felt that Lilia would say that in front of their liege! And that their liege had REPEATED it in question!! Lilia would arrive out of nowhere, especially during breaks, and Sebek honestly wondered if he had literally anything better to do than stalk his son and his supposed boyfriend around their place of work.

Silver had—surprisingly—lost his temper with Lilia within the first week. The last straw had been when Lilia had made a comment about endurance and stamina, pertaining to rather sordid activities, in front of the recruits Silver was training. Silver had instantly snapped, shouting about how inappropriate he was being and ordering him to be escorted from the courtyard. Silver had been entirely in the right, Lilia was undermining him and considering the man was a civilian (even if he was a recently re-established war hero) he was already pushing it by wandering the castle grounds unsupervised. Disrupting training and insulting the general was highly improper. 

But still, Lilia clearly hadn’t expected Silver to get so angry with him, as he actually stopped his teasing. Although it had only lasted a day, by then Sebek had realised Silver was actively avoiding them both. Their regular commutes to and from work together had ended rather abruptly, Silver either leaving ridiculously early or staying late at work, and Sebek had to admit he was annoyed Lilia’s actions had taken one of his favourite parts of the day from him. Especially as he knew it was due to Lilia commenting on their ‘little coffee dates’ and wondering how Silver had managed to coax Sebek into drinking coffee, clearly suggesting it had been through an excessive amount of kissing.

He kept reminding himself this was temporary, that Lilia would be going away again and that they would be able to finally relax after that point, but Sebek had to admit until then work was becoming a torment. Seeing as Silver was avoiding them both, Lilia was regularly popping up to bother Sebek instead, and it was starting to put him on edge. When he thought he had a moment to himself, a shock of pink and black hair would show up and remind Sebek he could never put his guard down for a moment.

At least when he was off the castle grounds things were calmer, which was exactly where Sebek was heading on his break. He would go to the park for a quick walk so he could forget all about the menacing presence of Lilia Vanrouge for a moment.

“Sebek!” Silver’s sharp voice called through the corridor, making Sebek flinch as the man so rarely raised his voice. He’d paused on his way out of his office, watching as silver hair streamed through the corridor straight towards him, and Silver’s expression wasn’t anything pleasant. The man jerked his head towards Sebek’s office. “In there. Now.”

He practically growled the command, so Sebek knew he was in trouble, but he had absolutely no idea what he’d done wrong. Stepping back into his office, Sebek felt his stomach sink when Silver silently closed the door behind him, and when he turned around his glare made Sebek’s blood run cold.

“You need to decide on what the hell you’re doing by the time father has returned from his festival.” Silver started, making his way closer to Sebek, and it took all his willpower to not take a step backwards when faced with that fury. When faced with a man who could stand before a dragon without flinching. “He knows something is up, but he doesn’t know what. I can’t keep lying to him, I can’t—” It was when Silver trailed off suddenly that Sebek realised Silver wasn’t angry, but instead stressed, and he brought a hand to Silver’s shoulder to try and steady him.

“Maybe you should sit down.” Sebek spoke softly, leading Silver over to the sofa at the side of his office. The man sat down heavily, clearly exhausted and taking steadying breaths. “What happened?”

Silver was rubbing at his head, a sight that was becoming far too regular recently, and Sebek was slowly starting to realise maybe this situation was stressing Silver out more than he thought. When he spoke, that initial sharp anger had faded into a soul-weary fatigue. “Father… cornered me about it all. Again. I think he can tell something isn’t right, but he can’t find the evidence so he keeps… flitting about and asking probing questions.”

“Do you want to go for a walk? Get some air?” Sebek asked with some concern, a tired smile crossing Silver’s face as he did so, only for him to shake his head.

“I think he’s less likely to find me here, so I’d rather stay put. At least for a small while.” The fact Silver sounded like he genuinely wanted to hide was upsetting, as normally he adored being around his father. Sitting down next to him, Sebek held his arm out offering a hug even if he half expected Silver to refuse. Clearly he was more stressed than he looked, as when Silver immediately moved and pressed his face tiredly into his shoulder, Sebek’s chest twisted.

“I’ll think of a solution before he’s back, I promise.” Sebek gave Silver a small squeeze, the man sagging slightly. “I don't want a repeat of these two weeks either.”

That sagging only grew and, when Silver didn’t respond at all, he realised the man had drifted off. A small sigh of annoyance left Sebek, rubbing Silver's back slightly before he carefully shifted him to lay down properly on the sofa. What was Silver’s schedule for the day? Was he able to even take a small break? Sebek moved back to his desk, idly flipping through paperwork to find the monthly rota, and then trying to find Silver’s name. It looked like he was running drills this afternoon, so couldn’t rest too long, and Sebek really didn’t want him to miss lunch either. He should probably try and wake him.

Moving to kneel by the sofa, Sebek gently shook him. “Silver. You need to wake up, you’ll have to eat something before this afternoon.” Of course there was no response, so Sebek shook him more and spoke a little louder. “Oi, Silver—”

“I hear kisses can wake sleeping princes~” If it hadn’t been for the fact Lilia had been popping up in front of him for years, Sebek would’ve screamed in pure terror. He’d thought they were alone, but Lilia had somehow gotten into his office without him noticing.

“M-Master Lilia!!” Sebek had managed to turn his startled scream into a shout of annoyance. “You should have knocked!!”

A sudden terror went through Sebek at the fact Lilia hadn't knocked. He could've overheard them both if he'd entered a moment earlier.

“Oh? In case you were both doing something private~?” Sebek blanched at the teasing grin on Lilia's face, and he shook his head furiously.

“NO!! It's MY OFFICE! YOU SHOULD KNOCK REGARDLESS!! I COULD'VE BEEN IN A MEETING!!!” Somehow, his flustered screaming right next to Silver's face did not wake the man up, and Lilia chuckled as he stopped hovering upside down. He didn't seem to care at all about Sebek's complaints, a fact that really rubbed him the wrong way, but when Lilia gestured towards his son Sebek realised another terrifying thought.

Lilia had come to Sebek's office to speak to him, it was just a coincidence that Silver happened to be there.

The vivid memory of the great Malleus Draconia threatening him still troubled Sebek, and being alone with Lilia reminded him of that same nightmare. He didn't want a second instance with Lilia, so he shook Silver once more. Of course, he was completely out of it, and Sebek paled when Lilia started speaking again because he didn’t want to be threatened.

“But, truly, I hear kisses given out of love can wake sleeping royalty. You should try it!” Lilia was still harping on about that, the difference between his expectations and reality throwing Sebek for a moment, before he realised this was likely some kind of test. Silver had said Lilia suspected something was off about them, but didn't know what exactly, so this visit to see him would've been a mission to gain more information. Especially if Silver had stormed off from his own conversation with Lilia out of stress.

Granted, Silver immediately coming to his boyfriend's office for reassurance played in favour of their charade, even if the reality had simply been Silver coming to warn him.

“That myth can't possibly be true, Master Lilia, cease trying to trick me.” Lilia narrowed his eyes at him, and Sebek felt his stomach drop as that clearly hadn’t been the response he expected. This constant anxiety was getting exhausting, and it was no wonder Silver had fallen asleep so suddenly if Lilia was on some kind of war path today.

“It’s just a smooch. What’s the harm?”

Lilia was really wanting him to kiss Silver, and that was the last thing he was going to do. He wasn’t going to cross any of Silver’s boundaries, but that one in particular had been the most significant. Kissing made Silver uncomfortable. End of discussion. He wasn’t going to make Silver uncomfortable even if he was asleep and there was even a fraction of a chance Lilia’s tale was true. And there was no way it was true.

Instead, Sebek shook Silver again but spoke with his own growing annoyance. “I’m not kissing him whilst he’s unconscious, Lilia. It would not wake him up, and would be exceptionally creepy.” Sebek was surprised at how firm his voice was, at how tight his chest was growing with a swirling mix of anxiety and anger, and he tapped at Silver’s cheeks to see if that would finally rouse him.

Still nothing. Maybe he should walk to Silver’s office and grab one of his alarm clocks, or maybe the alarm on his phone… Lilia let out an almost disappointed sigh, and when Sebek looked back at him he found the old fae shaking his head.

“I can’t believe my son is going to end up in a loveless marriage…”

Sebek blinked at those words in alarm, and that anger in his chest suddenly twisted as he firmly grit his teeth together. He inhaled slowly to try and stave off the sudden fury, but it was a losing battle. Did Lilia truly think Sebek was a terrible boyfriend? Because he refused to kiss Silver without his consent? When he refused to kiss him because he cared about his friend so deeply that he didn’t want to even possibly upset him?

His relationship with Silver might not be real, but the care he felt for his friend was, and the insinuation that he would be a terrible partner to anyone because he respected their boundaries hit a nerve. Hit an extremely raw and vulnerable nerve, and that fury finally slipped out with a firm demand.

“Get out.”

Lilia seemed taken aback by that, staring at him in surprise and starting to speak. “What—”

“GET. OUT.” Sebek stood up from where he’d been kneeling beside Silver, again trying to settle his anger by breathing in deeply. That lungful of air only served to make him louder, however, as Sebek practically snarled at Lilia. “How dare you suggest such a thing!! I refuse to kiss my boyfriend without his consent and you believe that means I DON’T love him!?”

Lifting his hands in a placating gesture, Lilia’s surprise just grew, but he wasn’t leaving. “Woah, ok, Sebek calm down. I didn’t say that.”

“YES YOU DID!! I DON’T CARE IF IT WAS IN JEST, YOU INSINUATED I WOULD BE A TERRIBLE HUSBAND FOR YOUR SON AND I WILL NOT ACCEPT SUCH AN INSULT, EVEN FROM YOU!”

This time his shouting did wake Silver up, the man snorting awake and suddenly sitting upright, though he wasn’t with the conversation at all as he spoke in a small panic. “The drills, what time is it, am I late for the—”

Sebek’s anger calmed almost instantly, instead latching onto his friend’s distress as Sebek knelt back down and placed a calming hand on Silver’s shoulder. “You’re fine, Silver. You were only out for ten minutes, but you still need to get lunch.”

The way Silver deflated with relief under his hand drained the last of the anger from him, though when Silver rubbed the sleep from his eyes he hadn’t expected his words. “Who were you shouting at…? There’s no one here.”

Glancing back to where Lilia had been, the space was completely vacant, and Sebek felt a disquiet drape over his shoulders. Maybe he shouldn’t have yelled at Lilia like that, especially if it would just cause more issues for them both, and Sebek felt suddenly drained. So much for the calm walk in the park he’d been after, and when he looked back at Silver his regret only grew.

“It was your father. I… probably shouldn’t have shouted at him, but he said something that really riled me up.”

Silver seemed just as surprised by the idea Sebek had shouted at someone he deeply respected, as surprised as Sebek himself felt, but it had only lasted a moment. Watching as Silver rubbed at his face again, Sebek could tell that recurring headache was back once again, like the rest hadn’t helped at all.

They both clearly needed a break.

“He keeps doing that, and I’m not sure if it’s an accident either.” The suggestion was unthinkable to Sebek, the idea of Lilia actively saying things to upset them, and when Silver caught his expression he patted the sofa next to him. Once Sebek was sat down, he continued.

“I’ve been wondering if he’s… hurting more than he lets on. About not being told about us.” The whiplash Sebek felt at that statement was a lot, as suddenly Silver’s baffling words made complete sense. “He might not be even doing it intentionally, but I wonder if he’s really upset by it all. So his words are coming out harsher than normal.”

That just made Sebek feel terrible for shouting at him, as if he looked at the situation from Lilia’s perspective, it was almost like they were shutting the man out of their lives. They weren’t. They simply had the major issue that a large portion of their life right now was a huge lie, and Sebek placed his head in his hands with a long sigh.

A warm hand came to his arm, and Sebek lifted his head to find Silver smiling tiredly at him. “I’ll try and talk to him before he leaves. You should try and do the same, Sebek.”

Right now that was the last thing Sebek wanted to do, but he nodded all the same and was rewarded by Silver’s smile widening a fraction.

“What’re you doing for lunch?” Silver started, giving his arm a small squeeze. “It’s been a while since we’ve grabbed coffee together.”

—

Lilia had ended up avoiding them both, so the chance to talk to him didn’t exactly come up, but it also meant the last few days were blissfully free of teasing—even if it left Sebek feeling guilty for simply considering that. It was hard to deny it was a relief, knowing he could just stand near his friend without getting harassed, but he could tell Silver was worried for his father. Sebek would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried too.

At least he said his farewells to them all, and he didn’t seem upset in the slightest when he did, so perhaps he’d simply needed the space to reflect on his actions. Either way, that period of difficulty was behind them now that Lilia had left for his festival, as no one was hounding them about their relationship. No one was asking him to kiss his unconscious friend, or insinuating he was a terrible boyfriend, and it was almost relaxing falling back into their previous routine again.

Of course, Sebek’s luck wouldn’t last as the text message he’d been dreading for months finally arrived.

Mother: Hi dear! Just to let you know we're having a family dinner on the 27th, and we'd love for you and Silver to attend! Your siblings are free, and they're both really happy to hear about your relationship, so if you have any worries there's no need for them. We love you, and want to reassure you that we support you and your boyfriend. We just want you to be happy. I hope you are well xxx

Sebek was not well. He felt like he was going to be sick, and it'd taken all of his willpower not to leave Malleus' side to immediately go and find Silver. Every moment up until lunch left him restless, to the point Malleus even spoke up on his behaviour.

“You seem distracted, Sebek.” Malleus spoke as calmly as usual, not even looking up from the paperwork he was reading. “Is something the matter?”

“N-No, my liege! Everything is fine, my apologies for distracting you!” He'd spoken a little too loudly, and was obviously flustered, so of course Malleus raised a brow and turned to look back at him. Sebek didn't want Malleus to ask a question for a second time—such a thing was beyond disrespectful!—so instead Sebek deflated a little and spoke honestly.

“My mother has invited Silver and I to dinner, and I'll admit I'm rather anxious and wish to speak to him about it.” Sebek watched as Malleus' expression softened slightly, before he turned back to his paperwork.

“At this point, Silver should be in his office. He'll have just finished attending an advisory meeting with his fellow diplomats. You have my permission to leave should you wish to speak with him.” Malleus always sounded so calm, so sure of his words, that it left Sebek in awe of him. Particularly at how benevolent he was being, allowing Sebek to abandon his post solely for his own benefit. It was too much of an honour, and Sebek had been about to deny such a boon when Malleus put his paperwork down entirely.

“In fact, I insist you speak with him. Silver has spoken on how those meetings can be stressful, so it would be good for someone to check up on him.” Malleus seemed suddenly determined to have Sebek leave him, which was a little concerning, but he wasn't one to blatantly disregard Malleus' wishes. He gave Malleus a polite bow, thanking him profusely for his consideration, before he rather quickly headed towards Silver's office.

They'd both known this would be coming, it shouldn't have left Sebek feeling so flustered, but he didn't feel prepared to face them. Lilia had left Sebek constantly feeling on edge, even at home, as he'd shown up so often. There had always been the chance Lilia could've shown up just as they started discussing Silver's boundaries, or ideas Sebek had come up with to share the truth, and it would've gone absolutely terrible.

So they'd not really talked about it, and now Sebek felt completely off guard.

Knocking on Silver's office and, after a moment with no response, Sebek let himself in. He wondered if Silver was still there or… well. He was sort of there. Silver’s head was laid against his desk, a pile of paperwork as a makeshift pillow, and with how suddenly this drowsy spell seemed to have gripped him he was lucky he hadn't made much of a mess. His hand was still holding his quill, some sheets of paper had ended up knocked off the desk, but it could've been worse. Especially as there was an uncapped inkwell on the desk too.

That had been Sebek's first concern, sealing the bottle so Silver couldn't damage anything if he startled awake, and he gently laid a hand on Silver's shoulder before shaking him slightly.

“Hey, Silver. Wake up!” Sebek didn't shout as loudly as he could, not wanting to disturb the entire castle even if his booming voice was a constant inside the walls, and as such Silver didn't so much as stir. Honestly he looked exhausted, and Sebek knew he was more prone to sleep on days he had diplomatic meetings.

Not that Silver hated the meetings, if anything he was perfect for them, but it was a lot of talking for someone usually so reserved and it clearly wore on him. They'd long-since decided Sebek cooked on these days, and often Silver had his portion for lunch the next day because he would sleep through the entire evening.

So trying to wake him up right now would be… a challenge.

Looking around the room, Sebek figured Silver must've set some kind of alarm so he wouldn't be stuck there all day. Silver knew his own habits well at this point, so would have one set for lunch, but Sebek didn't have until lunch—their liege had dismissed him but Sebek wasn't going to wait around for Silver. He had things to do!

There hadn't been an obvious alarm clock, unless Silver had one stashed away in a desk drawer, but Sebek did spot something hung on the wall which made him pause. It was a cuckoo clock, and Sebek immediately recognised it as the one he'd bought for him whilst they were still students. Honestly it was amazing it was still in such good condition, and Sebek felt a quiet warmth fill him that the gift had clearly meant so much to Silver.

Sebek still had the squirrel—his squirshie—from that same weekend tucked into his bed at home, and he felt the fond memories from that time calm him a moment.

The cuckoo clock would hopefully work, if it had been set up, and Sebek moved the clock hands forwards until suddenly it started chiming—a small wooden bird leaving the doors in the process. He was surprised that the mechanism still worked, and was even more surprised when he heard the snorting sound that usually indicated Silver had woken up. A glance back showed him to be rubbing drool off his face, so Sebek returned his focus to the clock and set the correct time again.

“Whuh…? Sebek…?” Silver mumbled, blinking sleepily at him as he rubbed the discomfort from his neck. Having fixed the clock, Sebek made his way over and tried to not pace anxiously on the spot, but it was a little difficult when it took Silver so long to wake up. Instead, he moved to gather the fallen paperwork and placed it on Silver’s desk, but that simply resulted in Silver sitting and staring at the papers in sleepy confusion.

Snapping his fingers, Sebek watched as Silver sat upright and actually looked at him with some semblance of clarity. “Oh. Sorry. Did I miss a meeting…?”

That was a fair question, seeing as Sebek showing up in his office was rather unheard of. Normally they grabbed lunch only if they happened across each other, or on very rare occasions they’d text each other to meet up, so of course Silver would jump to a rather sensible conclusion why Sebek was in his office. Instead of the reality which, now that he thought about it, could have waited until they were both home. It was difficult to ignore how his face prickled with heat at the realisation.

“No, nothing like that. I…” Skirting around the topic would just lead to Silver getting more confused, so Sebek let out a sigh and told himself to stop being so ridiculous. He didn't  want to have woken Silver for nothing. “My mother has invited us both to the next family meal.”

There had been a pointed silence which followed, Silver blinking sleepily and thinking through his statement. He was likely wondering why it was so pressing that Sebek needed to wake him up, which was the exact same thought Sebek himself was having, but there was no taking back his actions. Silver tiredly scratched the back of his neck, realised his hair was falling out of its tie, before moving to redo it—all in complete silence. Really that was just making Sebek more anxious, and when he’d been about to ask Silver why he wasn’t responding, Silver finally spoke up.

“Uh… Did I miss part of the conversation? I know your mother was going to invite us both to dinner, that’s kind of why we…” Sebek noticed as Silver focused behind his shoulder, likely checking to ensure they were both alone, before speaking quieter all the same. “Why we’re doing all of this? I’m not sure what you’re trying to tell me.”

Despite his best attempts, that anxiety spilled over. “That we need to plan something!! There’s no way we can convince them as we are right now! I— Th-They’re going to— t-to—” 

“Sebek. Breathe.” Silver spoke calmly, and Sebek realised his hands were shaking, realised his eyes were stinging with anxious tears, and Silver looked at him as placid as always. “It’ll be fine. We’ve come up with a coherent story, we’re going to tell them we’re a very private couple, and that should be it. You need to remain calm. If you’re nervous, that will look strange.”

Silver… had a point. Rubbing at his face, Sebek took some careful breaths and nodded quietly—though despite the fact he was calming, Sebek could tell Silver was a little concerned. “You… really came over here because you were that anxious? Are you sure this is going to be ok?” There was a small pause, Silver fussing idly with the end of his ponytail in thought. “I could perhaps say I’m busy with work…? If it’s too much for you.”

That hadn’t been something Sebek had considered, and now that he had it almost sounded tempting. He could spend the time just talking about Silver, which felt easier than trying to tiptoe around pretending to date and potentially upsetting the man, but it was just delaying an inevitable discomfort. This whole situation was delaying an inevitable discomfort, and Sebek placed his head in his hands with an exhausted sigh.

He hadn’t realised he was still shaking, or that Silver had moved, until he was slowly pulled into a comforting hug. Though Silver’s hugs were always a little awkward. For starters they rarely hugged like this, and it didn’t help that Silver always directed his head to his shoulder in a way that bent his neck awkwardly, but despite that his embrace was always warm. His hands were always gentle, running along the nape of his neck and down his back, and this time was no different.

He also didn’t stink of coffee, now that Sebek thought about it. Silver’s scent was more subtle, something floral and woody, and it was definitely soothing.

“Hey.” Silver’s voice was quiet, and soft, and Sebek brought a shaky hand up to hug Silver in return. “It’s going to be ok. No matter what happens, your family loves you. They just want you to be happy.” There was a pause, Silver clearly thinking, before he spoke up again.

“If you wanted me to, I could speak to your parents for you. I can apologise, and explain you were panicking, and that you’re single but really happy with your life currently… If that would help?” That hand was still rubbing soothingly along his back, but Sebek felt his stomach drop to his feet. Felt his shoulders tense up as he shook his head frantically. 

“Th-That’s— I-I don’t want them to be disappointed…” Sebek whispered, and Silver let out a tired sigh.

“They won’t be.”

“But so many people already know th-that we’re…”

“I’ll apologise to them too.”

“Silver…” Sebek felt himself frowning, the idea of Silver taking on all of his guilt for him settling uncomfortably in his gut. “You don’t have to do that.”

Silver leant his head against Sebek’s, and he could envision the quiet and exasperated smile on the man’s face when he spoke. “I usually have to clean up your messes. This isn’t that different.”

Snorting slightly, Sebek moved to pull back, even if he did feel anxious no longer being in that protective bubble. He couldn’t spend all day like that, and he needed to face his problems. Needed to reply to his mother. “Well, this mess I’m going to clean up myself.”

Seeing the look of surprise on Silver’s face, Sebek realised he’d jumped to the wrong conclusion. He put up an apologetic hand. “E-Eventually. I still… haven’t worked out what to say.”

“I literally just said what you should say.”

“Th-That’s—!” Sebek felt his face heating up, a sudden embarrassed fury gripping his lungs, and Silver took a step back in preparation for his inevitable shouting. “THAT’S NOT THE POINT! I’M NOT READY, SILVER!!”

Before Silver could even speak up, someone knocked rather worriedly on Silver’s office door and stuck their head in. “Is… Is everything ok…?” The man asked in concern, and Sebek’s flush just grew worse as now he was bothering other people in the castle.

Silver smiled, as calm as ever, and just waved an apologetic hand. “Sorry. My boyfriend is just… being dramatic.”

“SILVER—!!” A hand came straight to his mouth to cover it, Sebek’s shout of complaint being cut off as he failed to pry off Silver’s grip. But of course the man was obscenely strong, and stubborn, and Sebek was only growing more annoyed as Silver shushed him.

Though he regrettably had a point. He needed to quieten down, though it was difficult to do so when Silver finally removed his hand. Because, out of context, the words he’d screamed were mortifying.

Chapter Text

It was a few weeks later when they’d arrived at his parent’s house, Sebek having dressed up smart in a shirt and tie whilst Silver had done a small side-braid to ‘look more presentable’. Really he didn’t look all that different, he was wearing a light tan tunic with a casual black waistcoat, and anxiously waiting around whilst Silver fussed with so much of his hair made it clear why Silver didn’t do that small braid every day. Even if Sebek had to admit it pulled more of his hair out of his face so it’d make it easier to see during combat.

Still, they hadn’t shown up late despite fearing they would, and instead Sebek was anxiously fussing as they stood in front of his family home.

“How many times do I have to remind you to calm down?” Silver muttered, moving to knock on the door—or at least he would have, if Sebek hadn’t snatched his wrist. A tired, and slightly annoyed, sigh left Silver. “Sebek…”

He knew he was being silly right now, it was just his family and they knew Silver well, but Sebek still felt like he was going to be sick suddenly. Silver shifted to knock on the door with his other hand before Sebek could stop him.

“Silver!” Sebek hissed, tugging him back from the door, but Silver wriggled free of his grasp and instead linked their hands together. 

“We’re going to sit in your family livingroom, chat for a bit, eat some nice food, and then go home. That’s it. Stop freaking out.” Silver spoke so calmly, completely uncaring about the fact Sebek felt like he was going to faint. The ‘chat for a bit’ part was utterly terrifying to him, and Sebek didn’t know how he was going to get through it—stiffening when the door opened to reveal his older sister, Etta.

She smiled widely, Sebek stiffly smiling in return, as she pulled them both into a warm hug. “Sebby! Silvie! It’s so good to see you both, it's been so long!”

It had only been a couple months for Sebek, but then he tried to think of the last time Silver had seen his family. It had likely been that time they visited the capital, not long after his twenty-sixth birthday, but they’d all gone out for a meal without Silver as they couldn’t exactly host them all in their tiny apartment. His parents had insisted on Silver joining them, but Silver had repeatedly and politely declined, saying he didn’t want to intrude on a family gathering.

Sebek… slowly realised his mother might have thought they were a couple, or would at least make a good couple, all the way back then. She had been the most insistent, after all.

Etta had moved to seat them both in the living room, before calling out loudly. “Sebek and Silver are here!” How a simple sentence could send his heart hammering, Sebek didn't know, but luckily his older brother was the first to walk in—his expression exasperated as he leered at their sister.

“Obviously.” His brother muttered, adjusting his glasses as he spoke. “Everyone heard you shriek at the door, we don't need a second announcement.”

The man's expression softened, a little, when he turned to the pair of them, but mostly he just looked tired. Work must've been difficult lately, but he held his hand out for Sebek to shake.

“Good to see you, and…” His gaze drifted to Silver, not changing in the slightest, and Sebek felt himself tense. What was he thinking about him? Did he approve? His mother had said his siblings were fine with him having a boyfriend, but what if she'd lied—

“Silver.” His brother shook his friend's hand as well, a small quirk to his lips which Sebek still couldn't read. “How’ve you been?”

“I’m good, Zachary.” Silver started, his voice calm and likely just highlighting how uncomfortably nervous Sebek himself felt. “I’ve been rather focused on work.”

Zachary's expression tightened, but he let out a huff of air in place of a laugh. “You said the exact same thing last time, Silver. I thought things would be different considering the obvious.”

Sebek had forgotten how observant his brother was, and he felt his stomach drop as this was a problem. He wasn't stupid, he graduated from Night Raven College as well with exceptional grades, and at one point he'd almost worked there—at least until he'd heard his old schoolmate, Divus Crewel of all people, was in charge of the sciences and he refused to work with him.

To this day he was thankful his older brother was not one of his professors when he was attending, as his first year had already been extremely eventful without his peers teasing him about such a thing. In hindsight, if his brother had been there, in Diasomnia's lounge when Malleus had overblotted—if they'd had to jump into his brother's dream to wake him up—it would've stressed Sebek out more than he'd like to admit.

And nothing had been more stressful than Malleus' overblot.

Sebek came back to the conversation with his sister having dragged his brother out of the room to set the table, and Silver giving his hand a small squeeze.

“Get out of your head.” Silver had turned and quietly hissed at him, his expression severe, before he sat up straighter and forced a smile when Sebek's mother came in. She was smiling brightly, her wide tail flicking slightly in excitement, as she carried in a tray with a teapot and some cups on it.

“My sweet boys, hello!” Sebek felt himself flushing immediately at her words, at the fact she always treated him like a baby when he was almost thirty, but that was a habit she likely wouldn't stop. To her, all of her children were babies—literally because to a fae they were still newborn—but also because she loved them all so dearly.

She leant down and pressed a kiss to the top of his head, before turning and doing the same to Silver. That caused Sebek's stomach to lurch, suddenly worried that'd upset him. Silver would be uncomfortable because his mother kissed him, and he'd not been able to stop it, and maybe he should've told her before they visited and—

Silver was just smiling up at her as calmly as usual. “Hello, Mrs Zigvolt. It's lovely to see you again.”

Maybe… it was just kisses on the lips? Sebek was freaking out over nothing, and he could see the quiet concern on his mother's face when she turned back to him. 

“How about you, dear? You're awfully quiet.” She'd asked calmly, and Sebek nodded perhaps a little too frantically.

“I'm fine! It's–” Sebek let out a nervous sound, his mother's concern simply growing, and Sebek felt suddenly nauseous. “It's… just a lot to adjust to.”

His voice still sounded tighter with nerves, but that concern softened slightly as she gestured to the tea behind her. “My dear, there's nothing to worry about. I suggest you grab a cup of tea to settle in, and I'll try and keep the noise away from here for a moment, but…”

She chuckled softly, smiling with amusement. “You, more than anyone, know how loud this house can get.”

Sebek felt his face flushing at that, at the reminder that the majority of the noise in this house was caused by him. Granted, his sister was also loud—and on rare occasions so were his brother and mother—but it was normally him shouting. It was likely why him being so quiet was so surprising.

“Now I sadly have to continue cooking, but I'll be back through as soon as I can.” There was a small pause, however, before she spoke with Silver directly. “Do you need a cup of coffee, sweetheart?”

When he glanced over at Silver, Sebek could see the smallest of flushes growing on Silver's face at the consideration. It was rather sweet, and it settled Sebek enough to be able to go and pour himself a cup of tea, even if his hand felt overly sweaty now that it had finally left Silver's grip.

“Ah, no, the tea is fine. Thank you.” The polite response from his friend was so expected it was relaxing. Even as children Silver would refuse imposing on his parents, so much so he wouldn't even ask for water, and Sebek's nerves had settled enough to finally act like a boyfriend.

Tea always had a way of calming nerves.

“Silver…” Sebek spoke gently, giving him the slightest of nudges. “It's no issue, but if you're too uncomfortable to ask, I can make you one in a bit.”

It would've sounded more convincing if he could use a pet name, or have given Silver’s temple a kiss—maybe he could, considering his mother had—but he instead just gave Silver a soft smile. How soft Silver's expression turned in response was, honestly, a testament to how good he was getting at this lie. He looked far more enamoured than Sebek himself did.

“I don't want to hassle you… But thank you, Sebek.” Silver moved to hold Sebek's hand again, giving it a squeeze in thanks, before his smile turned slightly teasing. “Though I can always use you as a pillow, I suppose.”

His mother had snorted at that, at how Sebek looked scandalised Silver would purposefully fall asleep on him, but it sounded fond. “I’ll be back through when I can. Don't hassle your boyfriend for wanting a snuggle, dear.”

That made Sebek splutter, embarrassed at the idea of such a thing. He was perhaps over-defensive from when Lilia would make teasing comments, but… his mother's tease didn't make him uncomfortable. In fact Silver laughed softly as she left, and honestly Silver snuggling up against him in his sleep was nothing new. It was almost like he aimed to use Sebek as a pillow on purpose.

Though he supposed if it were between Sebek and the ground, Sebek was a little more appropriate.

Sebek hadn't realised getting lost in his thoughts again would worry Silver, who had rubbed his thumb against Sebek's hand to get his attention. Considering these thoughts were positive, Sebek wanted to reassure Silver in return, but they weren't able to speak before Sebek's father quietly walked in. He looked a little awkward standing there in the doorway, that same smile of his on his face, and Sebek felt a spark of familiar annoyance form in his chest.

“Hi you two, was travel ok?” He spoke softly, moving to sit on his usual chair with his usual smile, and his words made Sebek sigh.

“I say this every time. We used teleportation magic. There was no travel.” Honestly Sebek wondered how the novelty of magic hadn't worn off on his father yet, as the man brightened like he always did.

“Of course! Wow, that's always so impressive. Did you teleport you both, or was it Silver, or do you both have to cast the spell?” A low sound of annoyance left Sebek, as he'd answered this question about basic magic before as well. His father had even been teleported before! Why did trivial magic still amaze him?

Luckily Silver was the one to speak up. “Ah, it was Sebek who transported us both. He's more familiar with the journey, so it was the safer option.”

Considering Sebek's obvious annoyance, Silver tried to change the subject, not realising the annoyance was just his father in general.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mr Zigvolt. I appreciate it.” Sebek's father started beaming, and Sebek was frustrated how familiar that smile looked. He saw it on his own face a lot, even if his father had brown hair (even if it was mostly grey at this point) and glasses to separate their appearances.

And blunt, human teeth.

“Thank you for accepting, Silver! When Sebek said he was dating someone I was honestly shocked.” Sebek felt himself glare, and his father held up an apologetic hand in response. “Not like that Sebek! Of course my handsome and loving son would easily find a partner, I was just surprised because you'd never said anything.”

There was a pause, Sebek seeing the concern growing on his father's face, but it was still mostly masked by that smile. “Again, I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't tell me anything…”

“Hmph, it wasn't like that. I simply didn't want to tell you.” Sebek spoke indignantly, and he felt Silver leering at the side of his head before he spoke.

“Sebek… You know that's not true. Um.” Silver trailing off was confusing, Sebek expecting a sharp retort, and when he looked back at his friend he looked conflicted. Something about his expression made Sebek's chest twist, and it wasn't until Silver started speaking again that he realised Silver was pretending to feel guilty.

Or maybe he did feel guilty? Either way, seeing that troubled expression on Silver didn't sit right with him. “I'm sorry. It… I know it wasn't me that kept you quiet, but… I feel bad for not encouraging you to confide in your family sooner.”

Sebek had no idea how to respond to that, not enjoying the fact the topic had changed to his insecurities. This was exactly why he disliked talking to his father, and now Silver was compounding things. His chest was fluttering with anger and nerves, and his father spoke up again.

“You shouldn't blame yourself, Silver.” The fact his father was speaking the reassuring words Sebek should've been saying to his boyfriend made his chest even tighter, and he could see the sharp edge to Silver's gaze which showed he was frustrated Sebek didn't take that opportunity.

“I'm just thankful to hear Sebek hasn't been struggling alone with this, that he's had you with him. Honestly, you've both been inseparable so it's not surprising—” Sebek stiffened at that, his cheeks flushing dark, and he found himself closing off from the conversation.

Did his father think they were a guaranteed couple as well? It was one thing for his mother to say so, but his father too? Silver was just his friend. His best friend, sure, but a friend. In the twenty years Sebek had known him, he hadn't once thought of Silver romantically. Might've… found him attractive, when they were younger, but that had been a short crush based entirely on Silver's ethereal looks. He'd had the same crush on Malleus! Malleus!!

He'd immediately stopped thinking that way when Silver continually and repeatedly defeated him during their spars, as nothing was more frustrating. He stopped thinking that way when Silver kept falling asleep and Sebek had to drag an unconscious man out of a bush. Did he know how difficult that was?! Unconscious people were heavy, and Silver was heavy.  

Silver was also just not interested. Not that Sebek had tried to make him interested.

What had his parents seen over the years for them to just expect this? It made him nervous, and confused, as what if he ended up dating someone in the future and they became jealous of his best friend? What if he couldn't end up with someone because people assumed he was tragically in love with Silver? Was that why no one had seemed to be interested in him?

He didn't want to change or lose his relationship with his best friend, but something they were doing was clearly crossing a line if people easily accepted they were dating. What was it? The fact they lived together? The fact Sebek respected him? The simple fact Sebek liked being around his friend?

And even with this assumption that they were always going to end up together, Sebek was far too aware of the fact he was doing a terrible job at being Silver's pretend partner. He was sitting there in silence, holding Silver's hand too tightly and sipping on rapidly cooling tea, and he'd missed most of the conversation. Sebek didn't want to look at Silver, he would look annoyed, and he felt his throat closing in on itself.

“Your grandfather isn’t coming, I’m afraid.” Sebek snapped back to reality when his father spoke up again, having once again failed to not shut off his whirring anxieties, and he realised Silver was still holding his hand reassuringly. His father was smiling at him like usual, but he clearly looked apologetic as well.

“Nothing new there.” His brother cut in casually, entering the room and moving to sit down in an armchair nearby. “It’s a miracle the old crocodile shows up once a year, and I don’t suspect he’d have been most pleased to find his favourite grandchild shares his daughter’s taste for humans.”

There had been a pointed silence, and Sebek noticed his father’s gaze drift slightly.

“You… didn’t tell him?” Zachary looked surprised, and Sebek was also shocked to discover his father hadn’t said anything. Well, not that his father would be the one contacting Baur, but he’d imagined his parents would have told him.

“Well, Sebek seemed really stressed about telling us in the first place, we weren’t just going to tell everyone. That’s his decision.” His father spoke rather calmly, and Sebek was genuinely surprised by those words. In hindsight he didn’t know why, of course his parents would respect his privacy (to an extent: of course his siblings had been told), but it still left him feeling oddly warm he didn’t have to worry about everyone in the castle town knowing about his private life.

Though the conversation raised a good point: how would his grandfather react to this? He’d been overjoyed when his sister had gotten married, but she’d married a full-blooded fae. Zachary often didn’t want anything to do with Baur, so hadn’t bothered to inform him he’d been dating a human for the past several years either. Sebek wouldn’t be surprised if his brother didn’t invite Baur to the wedding, and he tried to not feel angry about it. It was the biggest point of contention between him and his brother.

Luckily Etta had entered, sitting next to Silver and loudly changing the subject. “I can’t believe you two are dating.” She started casually, and Sebek suddenly wasn’t sure which subject he preferred. “If I’d known I’d have invited Silvie to the wedding too! How long has it even been?”

“Oh, um, we started dating shortly after we were knighted.” Silver spoke quickly, and Sebek nodded a little stiffly. He still felt stuck in his head, still felt trapped by his anxieties, and Silver squeezed his hand again. He could just imagine him quietly hissing at him to calm down.

“You’re joking! That long?! Sebby, that’s longer than I’ve been with my husband!! You’re actually the worst for not saying something!” Etta’s voice had raised, but she wasn’t genuinely annoyed. More likely disappointed, or perhaps concerned Sebek didn’t feel able to speak about his relationship for that many years.

“Sorry…” Sebek just mumbled, uncomfortable about this entire situation, and he felt Silver shift closer to him. Clearly he was trying to help, but Sebek still felt like he was going to be sick. Especially when Zachary tilted his head at the pair.

“That’s certainly a while… I’m surprised anyone put up with you that long, Sebek.”

That caused him to stiffen, but instead of the usual shouting that would follow such a slight, Sebek hunched his shoulders and just felt even more awkward. They were already doing a terrible job at looking like a couple, there was no way this would work, there was no way— 

Silver placed his head gently on Sebek’s shoulder, and Sebek felt himself stiffen further.

“We make a good team.” Silver spoke calmly. “He’s… also quite romantic. We went on this quiet picnic together, before he confessed, next to this river that had these white fluffy flowers. I can still smell them… They were really wonderful.”

Silver sounded oddly fond, and Sebek felt his chest tightening as he could remember those flowers he spoke about as well. “Meadowsweet.” He rasped, hating how his voice was difficult to form right now, and how his face flushed red when he did.

His brother was still looking at them with an odd expression, but Sebek refused to think about it. He’d just panic more and instead decided to focus on these stupid flowers that were nothing more than weeds. “Their nickname is Cú Chulainn's Belt, named after an ancient warrior who would use the flowers to calm down from rages. But in more modern times they represent comfort, and new beginnings, a-and are often used for courtships, or weddings…”

Silver had sat upright at his words, listening both intently and with some surprise. It was that same odd expression he'd had when they spoke about the picnic before, and Sebek didn't want to think about it. “Another name for the plant, translated from a fae dialect, is Rush Silver. Due to the leaves having silvery undersides, so I… I thought…”

His face was turning red, he felt beyond embarrassed talking so much about flowers and somehow weaving some kind of false romance into their genuine meaning. It was probably weird, in hindsight, but Silver had instead moved to lean back on his shoulder with a small sigh.

“It’s been years and I never knew that…” 

“I knew I raised you right.” Sebek's mother, who was standing in the doorway, spoke up with a kind smile. Her words should've been reassuring, but Sebek just grew more uncomfortable with the attention. “You're certainly a lucky guy, Silver.”

That felt worse, felt overly embarrassing, and Sebek didn't want to see Silver's expression right now. Instead, he stared at his hands—one of which Silver was still holding.

“I-I need to go to the bathroom.” Sebek spoke up suddenly, his panic gripping him too much, and he pulled away from Silver with some effort. He hadn't realised how grounding the man was right now, and suddenly felt adrift, but he couldn't take back his words. He'd just go and wash his face, take a moment to calm down, and then hopefully they could get through the rest of this evening.

“Silver, would you mind helping me in the kitchen?” Sebek heard his mother speak up, and he felt his stomach drop at the words which followed. “I want to know how my son won your heart.”

Sebek didn't want to think about that, about someone as clueless about romance as Silver trying to describe how Sebek wooed him. He'd barely explain anything, and what if his mother was asking Silver to then ask him the same later? To corroborate their stories?

That was clearly his anxiety speaking, as no one would do that, and Sebek took steady breaths once he'd managed to lock himself away inside the bathroom. Maybe he could pretend he was sick, and they'd both head home, or maybe he should've taken Silver up on his offer and have just come alone, or maybe—

Stop freaking out. Sebek chastised himself, moving to splash water on his face. The reason he was so uncomfortable right now was because he couldn't just admit the simple truth to his parents. He was dragging his best friend into this mess because he couldn't admit to the truth, and Sebek glared at himself in the mirror.

Why couldn't he just admit to the truth? Why was he so terrified to disappoint others? Taking several deep breaths, Sebek knew he needed to fix this. Maybe it could be as simple as a text message, as much as that didn't sit well with Sebek. That way he could have Silver read over it, and inevitably press send for him when Sebek backed out at the last minute.

Or he could just speak to his parents, without the added stress of his siblings being around, and explain things with Silver, who had already offered to help. Already offered to do all the talking for him. 

He didn't need Silver to do that.

Drying his face, Sebek sighed heavily and tried to fix his hair again. It was just a distraction, delaying the inevitable that he had to leave the bathroom eventually, and he tried to put on his charade again. He would head to the living room, smile when Silver came back through, and sit with an arm around him. That'd work. That was better than what he had been doing.

Sebek unlocked the door, walked out, and turned towards the living room when he was suddenly stopped by someone speaking.

“There’s something about you two.” Sebek froze at the sudden sound of his brother’s voice, at the tone he used, and he turned to look at him in what he hoped was convincing confusion and not the genuine fear he felt.

“What do you mean…?” His voice was a little tight with anxiety, and Sebek could tell his brother heard it too. 

“You’re acting weird. It’s one thing to be nervous about introducing a new partner to your family, but it’s Silver. We all know him, we’ve known him since you both still had baby teeth, yet you’re excessively nervous. Especially if you’ve been dating years.” Zachary adjusted his glasses, leaning more against the doorframe as he narrowed his eyes at Sebek. That cold dread only grew.

“You’re not actually dating, are you.” Sebek felt his heart stop, his throat closing up on him at the way Zachary’s words had come out as a statement, not a question. He was already certain about the answer, likely wouldn’t take any of Sebek’s excuses, and he felt his eyes starting to sting with his growing panic.

“W-What are you talking about?” Of course his voice shook, Sebek’s hands were shaking, and he tried to look insulted but his glare didn’t land at all. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make unwanted observations about our relationship!”

Zachary rolled his eyes. “Oh come off it, this isn’t—”

“There you are, dear, I’ve been looking for you.” Sebek flinched at the sudden sound of Silver’s voice, that soft sound practically angelic in this moment. Silver was approaching from a side corridor, looking at him with a soft smile, though from Silver’s angle he wouldn’t be able to see Zachary so… why was he looking at him like that? Why had he called him dear?

Sebek was obviously baffled, and it only grew worse when Silver neared and held his hand—that smile widening a fraction—before Sebek watched Silver grab his tie. It was like he was witnessing the scene from outside his body, as Silver tugged gently to pull him down at the same time he leant up, and suddenly soft lips were against his own.

The choked noise he’d made had been immediately muffled by those same lips which caused it, and Sebek stared in surprise as Silver closed his eyes and kept kissing him. He could barely think, wondering if he’d passed out somewhere because Silver despised the idea of kissing. This couldn’t be real, had to be some kind of illusion, or some stress dream, and when a hand came to hold the back of his neck Sebek short-circuited.

Or perhaps that was the feeling of a tongue pressing against his lips, asking for entrance, and Sebek inhaled sharply when his lungs burned for oxygen. Silver had taken that as approval, sliding his tongue inside his mouth in a way that left Sebek dizzy and overwhelmed, especially when he felt Silver press up against him.

Was Silver seriously making out with him right now?! What was going on?!

Sebek had absolutely no idea what to do, and he hadn’t even closed his eyes by the time Silver’s tongue spasmed oddly and darted back into his own mouth. Silver had cracked an eye open, noticing Zachary for the first time, and immediately pulled back from Sebek like he’d been burned.

“Ah.”

‘ Ah ’?!?! Sebek still couldn’t think, baffled by Silver’s reaction as he let go of him—though still kept hold of his hand—and turned to face his brother.

“S-Sorry, um, I didn’t know you were there. That was… my apologies.” Silver’s cheeks were dusted a light pink, his lips had a slight sheen to them, and Sebek’s face was on fire. He could feel the prickly heat along his neck, along his ears, and he’d never felt more mortified as he practically gawked at Silver.

Zachary was glancing between the two of them, looking just as confused as Sebek felt, before he put his hands up in a placating gesture. “It’s no issue. Just… get a room next time.” Looking back at his brother, Sebek could see his own cheeks were slightly pink, and he rather quickly excused himself—heading the way Silver had come from and escaping into the kitchen.

Silver had watched until he was out of sight, waited a heartbeat longer, before he suddenly gagged and started to rub furiously at his face with his sleeve. “Th-That a bathroom in there?” Silver muttered and gestured behind Sebek, who was still baffled and simply nodded. He immediately pushed past Sebek, spitting into the sink and turning a tap on to start rinsing his mouth out.

That… surprisingly stung. Had kissing him really been that disgusting? A quiet insecurity gripped Sebek’s chest, the man trying to prevent it from growing into hurt anger, because this wasn’t about him. Silver didn’t like kissing, that was all it was, it wasn’t because he hated kissing him, specifically. Silver turned the tap off and took steadying breaths, eventually lifting his head and looking back towards Sebek.

“Sorry…” Silver muttered, his gaze sympathetic. “I-It’s not— It wasn’t you.”

How Silver immediately knew exactly what was bothering him was a shock, and he watched as Silver shakily dried his face with a hand towel. The sight of him so uncomfortable caused the last of his own hurt to fade, replaced immediately with concern for his friend. Looking over his shoulder, Sebek didn’t trust having this conversation out in the open, so he stepped in and closed the door behind him—locking it just for good measure.

Though the fact they were hiding in a bathroom together would likely look… Sebek refused to think about that.

“What was that?!” Sebek hissed, and Silver hung the towel back up before replying.

“Me saving your sorry hide. Your brother clearly wasn’t buying it, so I took drastic measures.” Silver spoke so calmly considering he’d just kissed him passionately, was still shaking slightly, and Sebek was flabbergasted.

“I-I mean it worked, sure, but you— you don’t like kissing! Why’d you do that?!”

“Again, he wasn’t buying it. I figured something physical was the only option.” Sebek really just couldn’t understand why Silver would dismiss his own comfort like that, and his growing confusion was clearly exhausting Silver. Or annoying him, seeing as his brows furrowed slightly. “Look. We got away with it this time, but you can’t just stand there like a dead fish next time.”

‘Next time’…?

“We’re going to need to practice that. You need the training so you don’t just flounder uselessly again, and I need the training so I don’t have to… immediately run off afterwards.”

Sebek had no idea what to make of those words. Was Silver genuinely suggesting they practice kissing each other so they’d be able to do so convincingly in front of others? He was looking at him calmly again, the only sign of his previous discomfort being the fact he’d rubbed his lips a little too harshly so they were slightly red, and Sebek felt his mouth turn dry.

He’d never seriously considered kissing Silver before, and now that the possibility was in front of him it was more than a little intimidating. His lips had been really soft… and Sebek had felt that smile pressed against his lips. It had been entirely forced, of course, but the memory still made his stomach flip. Still made him bite his lip lightly.

“I… suppose so…?” Sebek was still struggling to grasp what had happened, what could possibly happen again, and Silver sighed and shook his head.

“Snap out of it. It was just a kiss.” That was the understatement of the century, Sebek looking at Silver incredulously as how was he so calm about this? “Now, are you going to be able to speak like a normal person anytime soon, or are we going to be stuck in here for the rest of the dinner?”

That reminded Sebek that they were both locked in the family bathroom, and that anyone could show up and find them together. If it was his older sister, he’d never live it down, and Sebek moved to unlock the door and immediately leave—though not without hissing quietly.

“We’ll speak about this properly when we get home.”

Surprisingly, the rest of the dinner went without issue, though Sebek also suspected his brother had told everyone they’d been making out. It had likely been to dissuade others from going down towards the bathroom, which is why they’d probably gotten away with hiding in there, but… It didn’t help the mortification. It would stop the questions, but just left Sebek growing more and more embarrassed as time went on.

Because the idea of his wonderful mother knowing that Silver's tongue had been inside his mouth was too much to comprehend.

Chapter Text

As soon as they’d gotten back from his parent's house, the pair immediately locked themselves in their separate bedrooms. It wasn’t even that late in the day, they could’ve spent time together in the communal spaces, and Sebek had previously said they needed to talk about what happened when they got home but… Sebek didn’t want to be near Silver right now. That kiss had really shaken him up, nevermind Silver himself, and was Silver genuinely still serious about them practicing kissing? It sounded like something stupid you did as a teenager, making out with your best friend in their bedroom trying to avoid getting caught and causing an awkward situation, and…

Sebek came to the sinking realisation this was exactly the same. Silver was his best friend, and sure they wouldn’t be practicing in Silver’s bedroom, but the living room in their shared apartment was still a private space for them both. Everything about the idea was strange. This was Silver, and of course Sebek had to admit Silver was attractive, he had eyes, but it was still Silver. There was no way he’d be able to kiss him comfortably, like they were a couple who had been in love for years, especially because every second he’d just be thinking about how uncomfortable Silver was.

They didn’t need to kiss each other, that one kiss in front of his brother was likely all the convincing they would ever need to do, and the next day Sebek tried to get that point across to Silver when they eventually emerged from their rooms.

“It doesn’t hurt to be prepared, Sebek.” Silver had spoken far too calmly over his cup of coffee, sat at the kitchen table already when Sebek had walked in. “We’ve been exceptionally lucky so far, but each new situation seems to bring with it a sudden problem, and I would like to feel in control for once.”

Silver had a fair point, every new conversation about their relationship brought with it a new problem. First it had been questions about marriage (why that had been the first hurdle, Sebek didn’t know, and he didn’t wish to question their liege further on it either), then unexpectedly needing to know how long they’d been dating, and then it had been suspicion and disbelief. Sebek knew the last one had only been caused by his nerves, and learning how to kiss Silver was not going to help with those in the slightest. 

“I personally feel it would be more productive to practice saying we love each other. I still struggle to say it, after all, and that’s something we already know doesn’t upset you!” Sebek was adamant that would help his nerves in a lot of situations, having that reassurance that he could just look at Silver and convincingly confess his love to him, as surely that would fool most people. Considering Silver had admitted the same in front of Lilia, and that had dissuaded his father’s suspicion, surely Sebek speaking the same would have a similar result. Practicing that would be more effective and easier.

“You actually never say it, which is a fair point and you should practice that too, but this will be easier for you.” Silver sounded so calm making such an incorrect claim, and Sebek scoffed in annoyance.

“HOW is this easier?! I’ll be constantly fearing I’ll freak you out! That’s not easy at all!!”

“I said it was easier for you. My issues are mine to work through, not yours, but there’s no denying you’re better at tactile affection than I am.” Sebek stared at Silver with a growing disbelief, as constantly battling his concern wasn’t an easy thing to do because he wasn’t a horrible person. He had no idea what Silver was on about either. How was he more content with physical touch? He wasn’t overly affectionate like that! 

Though he slowly started to realise Silver had a small point. Whenever Sebek reached out to Silver, to hug him or hold his hand, Silver always had a moment of discomfort. It was subtle, really only Sebek himself would notice half the time, but it was consistent. It made it difficult for Sebek to know just what exactly he could do, as he didn’t want to upset him if he took things a step too far, yet whenever Silver reached out to him Sebek didn’t really mind the extra attention.

Unless he was angry, of course. He still didn’t know why Silver kept wanting to hold his hand when he was angry, as that was seriously unromantic.

Silver had kissed him, and in a rather passionate way, and Sebek’s biggest issue during the whole ordeal had been the reoccurring thought Silver would be freaking out. In fact, Sebek hadn’t even minded the kiss. Again, Silver wasn’t an unattractive man—even if it was a little weird kissing his best friend like that—and it hadn’t been unpleasant. His lips were soft, the brief moment their bodies had been pressed together felt surprisingly nice, and Sebek’s brows furrowed a little in annoyance that Silver had managed to read him so well yet again.

“Ok, so admittedly kissing you would probably be easier than saying ‘I love you’, but I still don’t want to make you uncomfortable!!”

“Which is why we’re going to practice. I need to stop being so… grossed out by it, and you need to stop freaking out on my behalf. With a lot of things. You keep holding back actions which I’m perfectly fine with. I’m perfectly capable of removing a hand I don’t want touching me, Sebek, so stop treating me like I’m made of glass.” Silver sounded frustrated as he spoke, glaring slightly at Sebek, which felt extremely uncalled for considering Sebek was just being, well, considerate.

“I just don’t want to upset you!! That’s— That’s not a bad thing! No one’s going to notice if I hesitate to wrap an arm around you, but they will notice if I were to do that, you got uncomfortable, and then shrugged my arm off! That’ll look even more suspicious!”

“I notice when you stop yourself from doing things!” Silver snapped, completely ignoring the point Sebek was trying to make.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!”

“Yes it is! You’re treating me like some delicate flower and it’s pissing me off!” Silver’s words were sharp, and Sebek was thrown a little by the idea Silver thought he was essentially babying him. He wasn’t treating Silver like some kind of delicate flower, not in the slightest, as he knew Silver was more than capable of getting him on the ground at a moment's notice. He was just trying to not upset a friend. A good friend, and he felt frustrated Silver didn’t understand that. Would be willing to upset himself when it wasn’t necessary in the slightest.

Stubbornness filled Sebek, the man taking a steadying breath to try and stop his rising anger, before he decided he’d prove Silver’s point wrong. If Silver wanted Sebek to stop being so concerned for him, if Silver wanted to pointlessly practice things he knew upset him, then so be it. Grumbling under his breath, Sebek took several steps forward—watching as Silver sat up straighter with his own indignant fury.

He probably thought Sebek was going to try and fight him, which was completely off, as Sebek instead moved a hand to the back of Silver’s head and threaded his fingers through that long hair. There was a flash of confusion on Silver’s expression, but Sebek forced his concern into a box because he needed to make a point. Tugging Silver forward as he leant down, Sebek kissed Silver firmly—shutting his eyes because if he saw how uncomfortable Silver looked, he’d stop immediately. 

His tongue pressed forward, flicking at Silver’s lips to demand entry, and he was baffled when Silver’s mouth parted for him. A hand came to his chest, likely wanting to push him away but desperately trying not to, and Sebek slid his tongue forwards. The honey coffee Silver had been drinking a moment ago clung to his mouth, Sebek shivering slightly at the taste as he brought his tongue to rub eagerly against Silver’s. To try and coax him into kissing him back. That tongue almost jerked against him, Sebek taking a step closer to try and deepen the kiss further, when he heard it.

A small, almost scared gasp left Silver, and Sebek felt his heart shoot straight into his throat. He pulled back immediately, Silver’s shaking hand at his chest pushing him back at the same time, and he immediately rasped out an apology. Silver likely didn’t hear him, too focused on getting away from Sebek as he stumbled out of his chair and rushed towards the sink. For a second he’d made a retching sound, turning the tap on and splashing water onto his face and once again into his mouth, and Sebek felt horrible.

Though this was exactly what he expected would happen. Silver was pale and trying to not be sick into a sink, and Sebek couldn’t stop his growing frustration.

“SEE?! This is—This is what I was talking about! You don’t have to work through discomfort just for my benefit, Silver!! It’s not worth it!”

“It— I-It was just— Unexpected, th-that’s all, I can— I-I can do it—”

Sebek growled and made his way over, pushing Silver into the fridge and pinning him just as easily. He practically snarled at him. “You. Don’t. HAVE. TO.” 

It shouldn’t have been so easy to cage Silver, but he was clearly distressed and not focusing on things properly. Yet there was still an anger there, and Silver glared just as furiously back at Sebek. “I SAID I CAN DO IT!!”

“FOR THE LOVE OF—” Sebek leaned forwards again, pressing his lips to Silver’s and feeling that same disgusted stiffening, that same uncomfortable squirming from Silver, and he was pushed back just as suddenly. Sebek collided with the counter slightly, hissing as he clutched his soon-to-be bruised side, and really Silver didn’t know his own strength sometimes. 

Watching Silver rub at his lips furiously, almost shrinking back against the fridge, Sebek told himself to calm down. They both needed to calm down, and Sebek took several slow breaths in order to do so. At the same time, Silver didn’t seem to be getting much calmer. He’d hunched in on himself more, glaring angrily at a spot between them, and Sebek knew that anger was mostly self-directed. There was no reason for Silver to be so stubborn about this, so determined to be able to kiss him convincingly, and he wanted Silver to get the ridiculous idea out of his head already. Which was easier said than done when it came to Silver.

Taking another slow breath in, Sebek exhaled the last of his anger and turned to make himself a cup of coffee—before realising Silver had brewed enough for them both. That just filled him with more guilt, moving to grab an empty cup before speaking.

“Go sit down in the living room and calm down. We’re going to talk about this seriously, and come to some kind of agreement about it. I’ll be through in a minute.” Sebek didn’t turn around when he felt Silver brush past him, purposefully bumping him in his own annoyance, and Sebek just took another careful breath. He didn’t want to blame Silver’s ridiculous mood on pain, his arm hurting wasn’t an excuse to be this infuriating, but at least understanding where it was possibly coming from calmed Sebek’s own fury.

Though if he spoke of any of that with Silver, the man would likely accuse him once again of coddling him.

Sebek felt a headache starting, taking a sip of his coffee with a tired sigh, before steadying himself enough to face Silver. He was sat on the sofa, which was a small surprise as Sebek expected Silver would want as much distance from him as possible and would’ve sat on an armchair. Though his legs were half drawn up in front of him, his mug resting on his knee in a way to make the motion seem casual and not the physical barrier that it actually was. Another sigh left Sebek, the air tense between them both as Sebek moved to sit at the other end.

Surprisingly, Silver spoke up first, even if it was barely a murmur. “I’m sorry… Is your side ok?”

They were both ridiculous, Sebek exhaling softly before placing his mug down on the table. “It’ll be fine, Silver. Are you ok? I should’ve asked first.”

“It was just a kiss…” Silver muttered, sipping his coffee and looking anywhere but Sebek, and honestly this same conversation was starting to feel exhausting.

“To me, yes. But you don’t enjoy them. That’s not a bad thing, Silver. We don’t need to kiss each other.” Of course Silver was quiet after Sebek’s words, likely not accepting them but not wanting to argue any more either. To his surprise, however, Silver brought his legs down—put his mug down on the table—and shuffled slightly closer. He wasn’t looking at Sebek when he spoke with a quiet reluctance.

“Could… Could we try again…?” Sebek’s chest ached that Silver kept wanting to attempt this, and he shook his head.

“Why are you so insistent about this? We’ve been ‘dating’ for months and no one has mentioned how we don’t kiss. Zachary didn’t even bring that point up himself, he was focused on how nervous I was.” Silver was quiet for a moment after he’d spoken, worrying his lower lip slightly between his teeth, before he whispered words so quiet it was almost like he was terrified of Sebek hearing them.

“I just wish it wasn’t a problem…”

“What?”

“It’s just a kiss, it’s not— it’s a normal thing everyone does, and I’m just—”

“Stop that.” Sebek spoke firmly, watching as Silver’s shoulders hunched and his brows furrowed with annoyance. “Not everyone kisses people. I’ve kissed, what, four people in my life? Including you? It’s been years since I kissed someone, and it wasn’t even a good kiss. They’re really not all that important.”

A small huff of air left Silver, the man tilting his head to look at him with some amusement. “I imagine he was a better kisser than I was.”

Sebek snorted, shaking his head. “You’d imagine wrong. It was all teeth, and it was really wet, and honestly I was mostly just putting up with it because we were about to fall into bed together but…” 

At those words, Silver’s expression turned a little troubled—the man looking back at his mug on the table—and Sebek could have sighed at his own stupidity. If Silver thought he was weird for not kissing others, he was also going to think he was weird for not wanting to have sex either. Sebek wished he could just get Silver’s thoughts to shut up and understand there was nothing wrong with that.

“You… were actually really good.” Sebek spoke up without really thinking, feeling his cheeks darken when Silver looked up at him in confusion, and Sebek felt a prickling along his spine with that intense gaze. He rubbed the back of his neck to try and settle it. “You were right before, I was floundering because it came out of nowhere but… It wasn’t a bad kiss?”

Silver’s cheeks had darkened as well at that admission, the man moving to pick up his mug to drink from it. He was likely trying to hide his face with the ceramic, and was likely uncomfortable, and Sebek had no idea why he admitted to that. Though to his surprise, when Silver finally put his empty mug down, he turned to look back at him with his flush still there.

“Well, even if I’m naturally talented we should still practice.” Silver spoke far too calmly considering his words, and Sebek felt his frustration rising again.

“This again? Silver, honestly, we don’t have to—” 

“Just let me try. I can’t force you if you don’t want to kiss me, but stop trying to make this decision for me.” Silver was looking at him with that stubborn determination Sebek was far too familiar with, and he knew Silver wouldn’t drop this without Sebek giving him a very good reason. A reason that had nothing to do with how Silver himself could potentially feel. He couldn’t give Silver one, and sighed tiredly.

“Ok. Fine. Just… If you’re still not ok with it, stop trying to force yourself.” Sebek knew Silver was unlikely to take that advice, the man sitting up straighter and shuffling closer.

“I’d like to try without tongues first. To try and work up to that.” Everything about this was methodical and pragmatic, and Sebek could have sighed as this wasn’t going to translate to them looking like a couple in love kissing each other. It was going to look like two strangers trying to tolerate having their lips together. But Sebek didn’t know how to explain that a good, convincing kiss had a spark between participants. That wasn’t something they’d be able to force from practice. Not when Silver was just his best friend, and his best friend was utterly disgusted by him.

Still, he shuffled closer and let Silver close the distance between them both. He watched as Silver nervously wet his lips, leaning closer reluctantly, and Sebek closed his eyes as he patiently waited for their lips to meet. Sebek could feel Silver’s breath against his face, could smell the coffee he’d just been drinking, and felt the tickle of his hair against his cheek. It took several moments longer before timid lips pressed against his own, lightly at first before there was suddenly too much force, like Silver had tripped and lurched forwards as impossible as that was. He pulled back just a little, to make the pressure less awkward, and he could feel a sluggishness to Silver’s lips as he started to move them.

It was so reluctant, Sebek feeling Silver’s breathing speed up, and he wasn’t surprised when Silver rather quickly pulled back with a torn expression—scrubbing at his mouth once again.

“Silver…”

“Sh-Shut up, I– I-I can–” He sounded genuinely upset, and Sebek brought a hand to Silver’s arm to give him a reassuring squeeze. 

“Stop trying to force—”

Silver lunged forwards again, stubbornly pressing their lips together again, and Sebek closed his eyes again to try and calm his growing concern. Silver’s lips were trembling, a hand moved up to hold his cheek in a way that should have been tender, but it just highlighted how badly Silver was shaking. When a sob spilled out against his lips, Sebek pulled back himself.

“I mean it, Silver. Give it a rest.”

The glare of disgust and upset on Silver’s face was, quite honestly, heartbreaking to see. He was sneering at his hands, biting his lip almost painfully as though he was trying to take his inability out on his lips, and Sebek regretted letting him get so worked up again. He rubbed Silver’s arm, trying to reassure him that it was fine, but Silver shrugged him off.

“I need some air.” Silver spat, moving to stand and storm towards the hallway to tug his boots and jacket on. The door slammed shut not long afterwards, and Sebek sighed as he just watched him go. Part of him knew Silver would stubbornly ask to try again, and would likely keep trying until this entire charade was over with, and Sebek wished he’d just come up with an excuse why he didn’t want to kiss Silver.

Considering how many lies hovered around him every day, adding another should’ve been simple, but Sebek didn’t want to lie to Silver. There was one person he could be truthful with right now, and he didn’t want to build a wall between them because of yet another lie. He wanted their friendship to survive this, so he would give Silver his space.

—

There was a thing as too much space, however. Silver had spent the morning out of the house, which wasn't too concerning, but as the afternoon dragged on it started to become a little strange. It was Sunday, after all, most places would be starting to shut so if Silver had been hiding out in a coffee shop he'd have been evicted by this point. 

Though Sebek figured he would take a slow walk around the park before heading home, dragging out his clear reluctance to return. He'd be back before dinner, he wasn't the type to inconvenience others like that, so Sebek tried to not worry.

Until it became time to cook dinner, and Silver still wasn't back. They were having pasta today, they both knew that, and Silver knew it didn't take long to cook. He would've been back by now, and Sebek finally gave into his concern.

He's probably fallen asleep somewhere, I should go find him.

Even though it was late summer, Mount Dread could be terribly cold on an evening, so Sebek grabbed his scarf, hat and coat before heading out. Granted, he was more sensitive to the cold—a reality he finally admitted to himself—but they were still living on a mountain range which towered over the whole island. An island which was one of the northernmost inhabited places in the world. So it could get cold.

Sebek at first took the usual walk between their house and the coffee shop, whilst keeping a lookout for any strange figures passed out in bushes. Honestly he didn't have to look for Silver like this all that often now. The man was still prone to sudden fits of sleep, likely would be forever considering the effects of a four-hundred year old sleep curse still clung to him, but he'd gotten better at waking himself.

To an extent. When he was stressed he was particularly stubborn to wake up, and more prone to sleeping in the first place, and Sebek could have sighed at his stupidity. With how stressed Silver had been when he left, this had pretty much been a guaranteed outcome. 

Silver hadn't been on the walk to the—very much closed—cafe, and so Sebek moved to the next location he suspected. Though he'd hoped, incorrectly, that he wouldn't have to look for him in the park, because it wasn't exactly small. It was well-illuminated at least, and surprisingly busy considering it was an evening until you realised Dragonopolis consisted mostly of people who preferred night-time.

Most places were open 24 hours in order to accommodate the slowly varying population, even if a lot of places still stubbornly refused to open during the day. Though they all shut on Sunday evenings due to tradition, which Sebek had once read about. It was supposedly to prepare for a princess’ unexpected arrival the next day. Apparently there was a legend where one had shown up a day before they were meant to, and because no one had been prepared, disaster struck.

Closing stores early was a rather extreme reaction to what was essentially a myth, but Sebek imagined it'd be difficult to overturn a tradition which gave people time away from work. Even if Silver was just using that time away to run off and fall asleep in a park.

Sebek didn't want to be wandering around blindly, looking in bushes and under relaxing-looking trees, for what could possibly be hours. For all he knew, Silver was heading home and they'd passed each other without realising, and with an annoyed sigh Sebek texted him asking where he was.

Of course there was no response, confirming Sebek's suspicions, but it didn't hurt to be optimistic.

Trying to think of favourite spots for Silver to haunt, he first checked around the waterfall but of course he wasn't there—the rushing water would be too loud to fall asleep near, surely. There was a gazebo he would sometimes fall asleep in, but this was empty besides a couple that were far too focused on each other than the world around them.

In fact there were a lot of couples out, Sebek had realised once he'd started looking. The biggest giveaway they were together were the joined hands, and he felt that earlier frustration come back. He held hands with Silver all the time, at Silver's insistence even, so why did he feel the need to learn how to kiss? To force himself to feel comfortable enough to kiss?

It really wasn't important, and Sebek moved to the next spot—a duck pond that Silver regularly liked to sit and eat his lunch beside, watching the several species of birds that would visit throughout the day. Seeing that long silver hair cascading down the back of a bench made Sebek wonder why he didn't check here first, but it didn't exactly matter. Not when Sebek couldn't feel more relieved Silver had indeed just fallen asleep on a bench.

He moved to shake his shoulder, trying to jostle him awake, but he didn't stir. “Oi, wake up! I'm not carrying you back.” Sebek had moved to tap at his face to wake him, only to freeze at, well, how freezing Silver was. Maybe he'd not gone to a coffee shop at all, and ‘getting air’ had meant he'd headed straight for the park. Which meant he'd possibly been asleep here all day.  

Sebek cursed under his breath. At least he didn't seem to have sunburn, though looking closer at Silver’s face did cause Sebek’s stomach to tighten uncomfortably at the sight of dried tears. Had he truly run off and cried himself to sleep on a bench? Had he upset him that much? His chest twisted horridly at that idea, and he hoped his eyes had just watered from being outside all day, but Sebek knew better. He’d been really upset by what happened. 

But Sebek needed to focus on getting him home, and moved to take his scarf off and wrapped it around Silver. That action seemed to make him stir, Sebek shaking him again to try and wake him, but he'd frustratingly just buried himself into the scarf—subconsciously seeking warmth. Sebek pulled his wooden hat over Silver's head for good measure.

Shifting the unconscious man, it wasn't too difficult to pick him up, and with some adjustments he felt able to walk home with him. Silver's weight hadn't shifted much since they were teens, the man had already been ludicrously fit back then, but he was a lot easier to carry now than he had been before. Particularly because Sebek had grown into his strength, but really he was just far too used to carrying him at this point.

He knew to shift his hair so it wouldn't get tugged on when he was lifted, he knew just how far above his knee he needed to hold him to prevent his legs from becoming an inconvenient counterweight, and knew just how long he could carry Silver before muscle strain would become an issue. Not that he'd timed it or anything, but it was around an hour and a half. It would likely have been for longer if Silver wasn't so heavy, and Sebek was fully fae, and if he carried Silver across his shoulders instead of in his arms.

If he carried Silver across his shoulders, Sebek suspected he could carry him indefinitely, but if Silver woke in that position he would likely suspect he was falling and suddenly jerk—and then they would be falling. So he always carried him in his arms.

Even if he kept getting a lot of… odd looks from passers-by. Well they were odd to Sebek, they weren't leering at him or anything, but they would look at them both with a strange fondness. It continued even as they neared their apartment, and one person who approached them both Sebek vaguely recognised. Were they a neighbour…? Did they work at the cafe? They certainly weren't from the castle, Sebek recognised those faces a lot easier, and he couldn't quite place her.

“You two are such a sweet couple. Silver's so lucky to have a man like you looking after him.” The older woman had spoken up, confusing Sebek because this wasn't romantic? He carried Silver like this all the time. She'd waved them both off in passing, thankfully not catching Sebek's growing confusion as he looked down at the sleeping man in his arms.

Was it because Silver had nuzzled into his chest…? He was just doing it to seek more warmth, like he'd done with his scarf. Maybe it was because Sebek had given Silver his hat and scarf in the first place? Again, Silver was cold and needed warmth.

They really didn't look that different at all, and Sebek tried to puzzle over it until they got home, eventually coming to the conclusion the old lady was likely projecting. Or had put a romantic spin on it because she knew they were ‘dating’, considering she knew who Silver was. That was likely it, and thankfully Silver finally woke up with the smell of coffee—Sebek placing it on the coffee table next to the bundled-up Silver. 

Silver had blinked blearily up at him, likely confused where he was, but at least recognising Sebek and the scent of his favourite coffee.

Clearly Silver didn't want to talk about why he'd stormed off, instead tiredly thanking him for the coffee and doing the same with the food that shortly followed. It didn't take Silver long until he sleepily retired to his room, and Sebek wondered how he could spend a day asleep and still be tired, but at least he knew where Silver was.

Though he'd accidentally taken Sebek's scarf with him, and the man sighed when he realised he was in early tomorrow. There was no way Silver would be up on time to return it, so Sebek would have to resign himself to a scarf-less walk to and from work tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Small kisses. Silver could do small kisses.

He’d seemed overly proud of himself when he realised he was capable of pressing one or two small, familial kisses to Sebek’s lips, and Sebek didn’t have the heart to tell him they weren’t romantic at all. Affectionate, sure, but not this breakthrough development Silver seemed to think they were. Considering he’d stormed off to cry himself to sleep on a bench—likely because he didn’t see himself as normal—Sebek didn’t want to knock the man’s confidence pointlessly like that.

Though he still insisted on their practicing, trying to kiss him for longer each time, like it was an endurance test to see how long he could hold his breath. Silver was likely holding his breath when they kissed, now that Sebek thought about it, but at least Silver wasn’t getting himself as worked up as he’d done before. Even if kissing was still just as distressing to him as it had always been.

Really, Sebek just wanted Silver to stop pushing himself like this. It wasn’t necessary, even if their embraces when they greeted each other at work were slowly turning into those small kisses Silver could manage. Everything they were doing was good enough, Sebek didn't understand why Silver kept—

“Sebek.” Malleus spoke calmly into the silent room, snapping Sebek out of his spiralling thoughts. A flush painted his cheeks immediately, the shame of being so distracted whilst on duty mortifying, but Malleus didn't seem to notice.

“I shall be hosting a ball for the autumnal equinox, and wish for you and Silver to attend.” It was a habit of Malleus' to not look at others when he spoke, and it was always disorientating as to Sebek it looked like his liege was still reading, but he was instead talking about a ball.

Sebek wouldn't let this throw him, however, and he stood up straighter to respond. “But of course, my liege! It would be mine—and Silver's—pleasure to guard you during your celebration—”

“You are not to be guarding, Sebek.” Being cut off by Malleus also filled Sebek with shame, the man's throat spasming to shut up immediately, and he almost missed Malleus' words as he was so focused on trying to not speak over him. Almost, but not quite, and when Malleus turned to look at him there was a fond smile on his lips. “You are both to attend as my guests. Surely you would enjoy the opportunity to attend an event as a couple?”

There was a twinkle of joy to Malleus' gaze, as though he were holding back overwhelming enthusiasm, and it reminded Sebek of the fact Malleus seemed to adore their relationship for some reason. But this wasn't just a quiet dinner with Malleus, no, this was a ball. There would be foreign dignitaries, important members of the public, and the nobility.  

The last thing Sebek wanted to do was to pretend to be Silver's boyfriend in front of that many people.  

“It's— Surely you'll need guards! We don't— Thank you, my liege, but you really don't have to invite us.” Speaking against Malleus' wishes was already sending Sebek straight into a panic, nevermind the way Malleus' small smile immediately faded. “I do not have the correct etiquette to attend!”

“If you do not wish to attend, that is fine—”

“I DIDN'T SAY THAT!!” Sebek’s volume made Malleus cringe slightly, but he brightened shortly afterwards.

“Then we are in agreement. You two are to attend as guests. Etiquette is not important, Sebek, I wish for my closest friends to celebrate the start of autumn with me. That is all.” When Malleus had finished speaking, Sebek found himself turning pale, but he really had no other excuse he could come up with. He couldn't say he was busy, as what would he be busy with? There was no hiding the fact he didn't do much outside of work.

He could pretend he was on some kind of date with Silver, but then a fancy ball with his loved ones sounded like a fantastic way to spend the autumn equinox, so Malleus wouldn't buy that excuse. If it were to clash with a family get-together, he was certain his family would simply change the date as well; they could cook dinner at any point, you couldn't change the position of the planet.

So Sebek forced himself to remain quiet, forced himself to not panic, and instead he focused on his duty until he was relieved for lunch.

To say he half-sprinted out of Malleus' office would be an understatement, as Sebek desperately tried to recall where Silver would be right now. Did he have his lunch break as well? Was he already on it and sitting in the park? Sebek had no idea, and went directly to Silver's office as that would at least rule out several of his questions.

Knocking on the door, and trying to not pace where he was standing, Sebek had been about to enter when he heard the sound of Silver's soft voice.

“Come in.” His voice was such a relief, and Sebek entered and shut the door behind him when he found Silver was alone. Looking up from what seemed to be a schedule of some kind, Silver tilted his head in confusion. “Sebek? What's wrong?”

The fact Silver could immediately tell something was wrong meant it was highly likely everyone he passed knew as well, but that wasn't important currently. He quickly made his way over to Silver, almost struggling to breathe for a moment, but he forced the words out anyway.

“Malleus has— H-He’s invited us both to a ball!” Sebek watched as Silver's expression… didn't change. He likely assumed the same thing Sebek had done at first, so he quickly continued. “As guests, Silver!! As a couple!”

Silver's expression still didn't change, and Sebek was briefly worried he was actively falling asleep, but when the man stood up and grabbed his jacket, Sebek had no idea what was going on.

“Want to come grab lunch with me?” Silver asked calmly, and Sebek had no idea how he could even be calm right now. Their practice at home was abysmal, they could only reliably hold hands, and they'd be having to repeat the same story over and over again all night. Someone was bound to realise they weren't actually a couple, and then everything would be ruined.

“I DON'T SEE HOW LUNCH WILL HELP, SILVER!” Sebek's shouting made Silver grumble, his brows furrowing as he moved to press a finger to Sebek's lips.

“I'm asking you on a date, moron.” 

How will that help?! Sebek's panic wasn't getting any better, even as Silver moved to hold his hand. What would a pretend date even do to help the terrible situation they'd gotten themselves into? They ate lunch together all the time, this would just be that with a few extra steps, but Silver was staring at him with that same tired and annoyed expression on his face.

Clearly he thought his motives were obvious, and when Sebek tried to think of this using Silver's strange leaps of logic, he slowly started to understand.

“You want to practice in front of the public in preparation for the ball?” Sebek spoke in quiet awe, and Silver's annoyance finally faded. Even if it was replaced by a slightly smug smirk.

“Wow, got it in one.” Before Sebek could complain, Silver again brought a finger to his mouth. “Yes, we're going to practice. I assume you already tried to talk your way out of attendance, so with no other option we need to be prepared. Our biggest concern is probably interacting with so many different types of people, and the questions they could bring, so if we go to a new restaurant on a date we might encounter some of those situations.”

When Silver was overly pragmatic like this, it was hard to be annoyed with him, but he could've said all of this without a finger pressed to his mouth and without the condescending comment!

Stepping back from his hand, Sebek tried not to leer at Silver as he suspected the man got a kick out of riling him up, but he was failing miserably. “Fine! I don’t see how one date is meant to prepare us for an entire evening of– of dancing, and socialising, but fine!”

Silver just tugged on their held hands, not rising to Sebek’s annoyance as he led them out of his office, even if he did comment on what he'd been worrying over. “It’ll help with the socialising just fine, and we shouldn’t require help with the dancing. We took those lessons before that masquerade ball back in college. I remember you boasting you could easily take the lead.”

The feeling of heat on his cheeks only made Sebek more frustrated. “That— That was over ten years ago, Silver!! I’ve had no need for dance since!”

“Well, I can lead then.” When Sebek stiffened with annoyance, Silver sighed—clearly wanting to avoid any further shouting. Such a thing was ludicrous! Sebek wasn’t going to shout through the halls of Castle Blackscale, he’d at least wait until they were outside. “If we move the sofa and table to the side we could probably practice at home, too, if you’re that against following my lead.”

Sebek needed to inhale slowly and carefully, trying to not grow angry because he could not start shouting. There was just something about Silver, the man managing to immediately get under his skin, that could lead Sebek to fury in an instant. The worst part was, Sebek knew Silver was being genuine about them moving the table and the sofa, wanted to ensure he would be comfortable at the ball, but he just executed it in a way which just seemed overwhelmingly smug and irritating.

The prolonged silence, however, did make Silver look over his shoulder at him by the time they left the castle, raising a brow in concern. At least Sebek felt calmer by the time he finally spoke up once more. “Where exactly are you considering for this date, Silver?”

There was a moment where Silver’s eyes narrowed, and Sebek knew he was likely wondering why he’d dropped the subject of dancing. He’d definitely bring it up again later, would be insufferable about it, but the tension in his gaze dropped as he looked forwards again. “Father told me about this new noodle bar, which apparently reminded him of the cuisine from his recent trip to the Land of Red Dragons.” Hearing the name of that country caused an odd tightness to Sebek’s chest, the man uncertain for a moment as to why, before he realised. That was where Lilia had initially intended to retire, and what had caused an extremely stressful time in Sebek’s life.

Well, all of their lives, but Silver continued speaking without dwelling on it.

“Considering our duties to Lord Malleus, I doubt we would have much opportunity to ever visit, so I figured it would be nice to try something different.” Maybe Sebek was on edge at the moment, considering the news of a ball still weighed heavily on his mind, but Silver’s words again struck him as odd. Though this time he understood why rather quickly: Silver made it sound like they would have gone on this imaginary trip together.

Silver was right, they very much couldn’t go on a trip together, but that was simply because they would be going together. One of them had to remain behind in case of a situation at the castle. They often had to time any long periods of leave around one-another, in fact, so a trip together would be impossible. Not that either of them wanted to go on long trips anyway. Sebek’s paid leave was spent on his short and regular trips to his family, and Silver… Well, Silver didn’t take his leave, despite Malleus always insisting he do so.

He would be paid the extra difference each year to make up for it, but Silver would often just donate the extra anyway. Sebek hadn’t given it much thought, considering Silver could do whatever he wanted, but the idea of Silver working constantly… Did he even take time off during the winter solstice? Sebek had no idea, seeing as he always left to stay with family, and he suddenly wondered if Silver was lonely. His father was always away, and rarely returned for the holiday period. Malleus, despite Silver viewing him in such a familial light, was still their future king, and Silver didn’t have close friends besides Sebek. Acquaintances, work colleagues, and people Silver could have short conversations with—whenever they got stopped together on the street it was always someone wanting to speak to Silver— but no one Silver would invite around to his house.

Maybe he kept in touch with their old school friends? Though Silver never mentioned them, and barely seemed to use his phone half the time, so perhaps… Silver just spent celebrations like that alone. The ache in Sebek’s chest didn’t sit right, he didn’t like that idea at all, and he wanted to ask what Silver’s plans were for this winter solstice when the subject of his thoughts spoke up. 

“Sebek? We’re here, but are you alright? You’ve been exceptionally quiet.” Silver had stepped closer, to speak more privately between them. “Is this too much? Or is it the ball? I could… hm. I’m not sure how to miss the ball besides faking an illness, perhaps? That way you could attend without any worry.”

He would isolate himself yet again simply for my benefit? That ache grew worse, Sebek feeling an uncomfortable sting to his eyes, and he furiously rubbed at his face to stop the potential tears. He didn’t know that Silver was spending his holidays alone. For all he knew, he was spending the holiday with Malleus, the pair going on walks to admire gargoyles or perhaps preparing a meal together, but Sebek knew that was highly unlikely. Neither of them mentioned such things, after all.

“You do not need to miss an event on my behalf, Silver. If anything I should be the one pretending to be bedridden.”

“Ah, but if that were the case then, as a good boyfriend, I should remain at your side to nurse you to health.” Silver spoke so calmly about this false scenario, not a single hint of embarrassment in his words, which was astounding when Sebek felt his own cheeks flush. Though that was partly from indignation.

“Y– Someone should attend! We cannot snub our liege’s invitation in such a way, that is disgraceful!!”

Silver gestured for Sebek to quieten down, looking around and thankfully seeing no one paying them extra attention. That flush on Sebek’s cheeks worsened, embarrassed he had gotten carried away, but he still needed Silver to understand! “I don’t see why you’re so determined to get out of attending. You should be honoured to be able to attend a celebration as a guest of the great Malleus Draconia!”

“I… don’t really enjoy attention like that.” Silver said, bringing his spare hand up to tuck some of his hair behind his ear. “It would be tolerable with you, even with the charade, but…” He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders slightly, and Sebek felt like he was looking at Silver entirely differently all of a sudden. During formal events, Silver would stick back and stand more in the shadows, but Sebek had assumed that was to aid with his duties. He was close enough to Malleus to be able to step in at a moment’s notice, but far enough away that his presence wasn’t smothering, or entirely obvious, and he could keep a better view on the event as a whole.

Had Silver simply been shying back? He would still speak to others who approached them both, and was the picture of a polite and dignified member of the royal guard, so maybe he wasn’t shy. Maybe he’d just find it boring without Sebek, or he’d fall asleep, and Sebek sighed at that realisation. It was definitely because he’d just fall asleep on his own, and he’d been about to call Silver out on his behaviour when someone else called out to them.

“Are you two waiting to be seat— oh wow!” The exclamation from the older man who had just stepped out of the noodle bar was odd, Sebek's brows furrowing in confusion as what was so surprising about a couple wanting to get lunch together? “Are you… You're really Vanrouge and Zigvolt? The Knights of Dreams and Lightning?!”

That suddenly explained the reaction, even if Sebek's confusion turned into alarm as why did a stranger know who they were? Sure, their titles were public knowledge—Silver’s more so than Sebek’s considering he commanded the castle’s forces—but he hadn’t expected a stranger to recognise them on sight. Silver seemed just as surprised, but he managed to recuperate faster.

“We are. Um. Might I ask how you know us?” Silver’s voice was soft and polite, his question well-meaning, but Sebek still looked at him incredulously. It was obvious this person knew who they were through their titles! He could’ve watched their knighting ceremony! It was public! Though the man seemed to brighten at the question, or maybe it had been at Silver’s answer, and started to speak with some excitement.

“Oh wow! I can’t believe it’s actually you, I read about you both in the rags—” Sebek stiffened at that, not realising they’d been written about in a gossip newspaper, “—and was so happy to hear you’d started dating!”

Sebek had visibly paled, his stomach plummeting, because how many people knew they were dating? For a terrifying moment he thought about his grandfather finding out via a newspaper, the mortification and shame he would feel at such a thing filling him, but he reminded himself Baur was above the trivialities of public gossip so would never deign to read anything like that.

“Ah. Thank you?” Silver again seemed to recover first, but Sebek could tell from how his hand had tightened that he too was alarmed by the news. “I’m… surprised something like that would be newsworthy.”

The man chuckled, waving a hand. “Oh, you know how things are around here. News is slow, so people will write about anything. Considering how many people adore you two, I’d be surprised if people didn’t want to write about you both becoming a couple. Also helps that you’re such an adorable one.” A heaviness started to weigh on Sebek’s shoulders with the reality this lie was getting desperately out of hand. He had no idea what to do, how to solve this issue, and when Silver squeezed his hand he’d realised that he was shaking slightly. 

“Nevermind me, though, are you both here for food?” The man asked, his question easier to answer, but Sebek still felt stuck in his head as Silver smiled quietly.

“We are, yes. Though, um, could we potentially have a quieter spot in the restaurant? We’re still getting used to being public, and it would ease Sebek’s nerves.” Those words made Sebek stiffen, immediately defensive about the fact his nerves were being brought up at all in front of a stranger, but… the quiet consideration from Silver also helped settle that anger. Because Silver was right: the idea of sitting in the middle of the restaurant—especially if strangers seemed invested in their relationship for some unfathomable reason—was absolutely unbearable. 

The man led them to a booth in the corner, introducing himself as Walter, before leaving them to look over the menus. Silver watched as he left, before taking Sebek's hand from across the table and squeezing it. Though to Sebek's complete bafflement, he brought that hand up to his lips and kissed his knuckles gently. 

“Calm down, Sebek.” Silver spoke no louder than a murmured whisper. “This is just more practice. We can do this.”

The kiss suddenly made sense, but his words didn't relieve his spiralling thoughts. Silver had said ‘we’, like this was a problem they could get through together and not a problem Sebek had caused all on his own. The public knew. How were they meant to get through this? Why was Silver putting Sebek's feelings first so much?

Sebek was the problem here, his stupid lie spiralling out of control, and yet Silver was requesting quiet tables in restaurants, offering to practice dancing after work, and kept practicing kisses when they knew how much Silver despised them.

The guilt he felt stole his appetite, Sebek staring at the menu with a quiet frown. Considering how annoyed Silver seemed by the whole situation, he didn't understand why he had his back so steadfastly. He was nothing but a liability, a nuisance, and Silver had no reason to put up with him.

“Have you two decided what to order?” Sebek flinched, having not seen or heard Walter approach again, and he felt himself flush as he hadn't looked at the menu. He had absolutely no idea what he would want, or what to say, and he tried to read quickly—

Silver gave him another squeeze, his thumb rubbing a reassuring circle along the back of Sebek's hand, and he told himself to breathe.

“Um. I think so? I like the sound of the oyster mushrooms with garlic. And… maybe a pot of the sweet herbal tea, if you wanted to share that, Sebek?” Silver sounded so calm, so casual, and Sebek was still struggling to speak.

“S-Sure. Uh.” It was his turn to order, he still had no idea what to get and his heart was hammering so loudly that he couldn't think beyond the sound. “I think I'll have the same as Silver?” His voice had squeaked slightly, and Sebek tried to ignore his growing flush. He was being ridiculous. He was having a meal with Silver. Thinking about all the people who possibly knew about their relationship wouldn't help right now, wouldn't calm him down, and he forced himself to breathe slowly.

Silver's hand was still in his own, his thumb still stroking Sebek's hand gently, and Sebek watched as Walter's gaze softened at the sight of it. That should've been reassuring, that they looked like a convincing couple, but Sebek was too anxious right now. Especially as Walter spoke up in response.

“Sorry, I don't mean to intrude, but you're both so sweet. I'm so curious why you started dating.”

‘Why’ hadn't been something the pair of them discussed, and Sebek felt his heart leap into his throat and began strangling him. They'd discussed the physical things, how and when, but not why. Sebek felt his eyes sting with anxiety, looking down at the table in his growing panic, when Silver's gentle voice filled the space between them.

“I've always loved him.” Sebek stiffened at that, at how calmly and easily Silver admitted to that now. “He's my best friend, my partner, and… he's the kindest man you'll ever meet.”

Sebek looked up from the table at that, seeing Silver's quiet smile directed at him. He somehow looked fond, giving Sebek's hand a small squeeze again, before continuing. “He comes off a little prickly at first, but, I know how much he cares. You will never meet someone more passionate, and determined, and I'm beyond blessed he… wanted me. He could truly have anyone, and yet he asked to be with me…”

The flush on Sebek's face continued to darken, Silver sighing almost dreamily, and Sebek wondered when he'd gotten so good at this. So good at pretending he wanted him. Those words, however, gripped Sebek's chest tightly. Silver thought he was passionate? And kind? That alone felt unreal, but Silver continued.

“He's been by my side through everything, and I want him by my side for the rest of it. No one makes me laugh more, or smile more, and he's always looking out for me. He doesn't even ask for thanks, he just… cares so genuinely, and quietly, that it was impossible not to fall for him once I saw everything he does for me.”

Sebek's eyes were watering again, but not from anxiety this time. He was embarrassed, and overwhelmed, and Silver was still smiling at him gently and… expectantly. They were both staring at him expectantly, and Sebek felt a wave of dread flood through him.

Instead of focusing on Silver's words, on Silver's praise, he should've been coming up with his own things to say about Silver. They'd both been asked, not just Silver, and Sebek hunched his shoulders as his flush reached his ears. He tried to breathe, tried to think of anything, but he was taking too long. He could see the slight annoyance in Silver's gaze, the quiet disappointment in Walter's, and Sebek squeaked when he tried to form words.

At least Walter seemed to attribute his ridiculous behaviour to nerves, smiling softly before he spoke. “You're such a sweet couple… I'm really happy for you both. I'll be back with your tea.”

He knew exactly what Silver would say when Walter headed back through the door, and the quiet hiss of Silver's voice made Sebek's shoulder hunch up further. “You could have literally said anything, Sebek!”

“Sorry…”

“We'll talk at home. Just. Breathe, ok? I don't want you to pass out.” Sebek nodded, breathing slowly and deliberately with his eyes closed. Silver's thumb, despite the man's annoyance, continued to rub gentle circles into his skin. His slightly clammy skin. Sebek realised his hand was probably gross to hold right now, and yet Silver wasn't making a big deal out of it.

He never made a big deal out of any of this. Even the kissing, that he despised, and Sebek needed to stop letting things get to him. Needed to get out of his head.

Their food arrived, their hands separated as they ate, and Sebek didn't feel like he'd managed to practice anything. Walter didn't seem suspicious in the slightest, seemed eager to just know more about a sweet young couple, and Sebek could've said anything. Could've joked that Silver was a thorn in his side, or have made up something stupidly romantic, and it would've been at least some kind of preparation for the ball.

Instead, they walked back to work, separated for the rest of the day, and walked home together. Like usual.

Of course, Silver remembered he wanted to talk to him. He was forgetful at the best of times, but he of course remembered this. It was almost an instant change the moment the door to their apartment closed.

“You need to stop freaking out so much, Sebek.” Silver sounded beyond frustrated, even if he took off his boots and jacket like he would at the end of every day. Like he wasn't on the edge of shouting.

Sebek wasn't anywhere near as composed as Silver, placing his bag on the table with a growl of complaint. “It's not like I'm trying to sit there in an awkward panic! How are you so calm about this?! We— STRANGERS know about us now!!”

Silver winced at the sudden volume, before bringing his hands to Sebek's arms. He turned him so Sebek wasn't facing the table anymore, levelling him with a firm glare.

“Sebek.” Silver spoke shortly, his grip tightening a moment. “If we're not calm about this, things will get worse. You need to calm down. It's just pretend. You're getting way too into your head about this.”

A warmth filled Sebek's cheeks, the man looking away in embarrassment as he hated how Silver was correct. Saying nice things about Silver shouldn't be difficult, going to a ball with Silver shouldn't be difficult, none of this should be difficult.

“Hey. Look at me.” Silver's words were firm, and the last thing Sebek wanted to do right now was look at him. His eyes were stinging, his chest was burning, and Sebek didn't know how to fix this situation they were stuck in. “Sebek.”

His voice was softer this time, and Sebek reluctantly glanced back at him. The fury and annoyance in Silver's gaze had faded, but it was still clearly there. Of course it would be. Silver had been dragged into this situation, after all, and Sebek was being entirely unhelpful.

Still, Sebek managed to keep his gaze, even if he felt anxious and tired and more than a little guilty. 

“Are you ready to tell your parents yet?” Silver started, a tired sigh leaving him when Sebek instinctually stiffened. “This is getting out of hand. Have you even thought about it?”

The truth sat heavily in Sebek's gut. Thinking about it turned him into an anxious mess, so he didn't think about it. It was one thing telling his parents the truth, the idea making him nauseous, and an entirely other thing telling Malleus and Lilia. And how were they meant to tell the public? Make some kind of statement?! Sebek didn't realise he'd started crying until a soft, yet calloused hand gently wiped at his tears.

“Sebek… This is just upsetting you, you need to put an end to it.” Sebek shook his head, unable to speak right now. It was hard to tell through his tears, but Silver just seemed to grow more concerned. He was probably just annoyed. “Then if you can't tell them, you have to do a better job at pretending.”

A loud sniffle left Sebek, the man rubbing at his face as well as Silver's hand finally dropped away. Sebek missed the gentle touch, the gentle reassurance, and the misery he felt currently bled into his words. “H-How do we even fix this…? We can't just— just tell the public we were pretending.”

“We don't have to.” Silver's voice was incredibly gentle, and Sebek found himself being led to sit down on the sofa. He hadn't realised how much his legs were trembling until he felt the plush fabric underneath him. “Do you care if a stranger has the wrong impression of us?”

Silver had a point, and Sebek shook his head with another sniffle. 

“We only have your parents, Malleus and my father to tell the truth to. If work colleagues ask us, we simply say we're not together and let them make their own conclusions, the public will shortly follow. It's still only four people to tell, as they're the only four who we don't want to upset.” How Silver could be so calm and certain about this, Sebek didn't know, but his soothing voice was calming him as well. Though the hand that had been rubbing his arm as Silver spoke squeezed gently to get Sebek's full attention.

Of course, Silver looked firm when he met his gaze, and the soft edge to his voice had gone. “Can you tell them the truth?”

Could he? His parents would be so disappointed, they would be devastated and he feared that he'd try and placate their negative emotions by going ahead with their wishes. He wouldn't be able to tell them the whole truth, and would end up in some horrible situation again because he spent so much of his life trying to please others. Malleus was impossible. He could never disappoint their liege, and Malleus seemed to adore their relationship. He couldn't remove a source of joy from his life!

Lilia was surprisingly easier to tell, considering the man already knew something was up, but he feared retribution. He feared Lilia’s relationship with his son becoming permanently damaged because of his own actions. All of this seemed impossible.

“I-I can't, Silver. Not yet.” Sebek deflated, unable to look at the likely furious expression on Silver's face. “I know what to say I just… Don't think I can.”

“Then let me help you.” That softness was back in Silver's voice, the hand at his arm stroking reassuringly, and when Sebek risked a glance at him, his expression was so gentle Sebek felt his chest spasm. “Even if I'm just at your side when you tell them, to keep you level.”

Sebek's heart was fluttering wildly, and he shook his head again because he didn't think he could speak right now. Not with all that kindness directed towards someone Silver should be furious with. A sigh did leave Silver, some of that softness leaving with it, but he didn't grow angry.

Instead his gaze grew determined, and Silver squeezed his arm again.

“I propose we change up how we practice, then.” This wasn't the conversation Sebek expected, and it showed in his expression as Silver gave him an amused smirk. “If we're pretending for longer, you need to do a better job at it.” 

Harsh, but fair.  

“You need all the practice you can get, to be familiar and comfortable with acting that way, so I propose we start practicing all the time. Even when alone.”

Sebek stared at Silver in horror at the idea, and he suddenly didn't know what was worse: telling everyone the truth or having to constantly be Silver's boyfriend. 

“Silver, that's— I don't know if I can do that.” Sebek felt himself stiffen when Silver's annoyance—which clearly had never left—surfaced again.

“It's training. It's not meant to be easy.”

“Th-This is really strange training, Silver!! And— W-What if I upset you?”

That had been the wrong thing to ask, as Silver's anger brought his brows together.

“I've already said that's my problem. This is why we need to train, so you stop freaking out. We have less than a month until the ball, and if you can't tell the truth by then, treating me as your boyfriend has to become so easy it's natural.” Of course Silver was thinking about the ball again, was able to look at the whole problem and not the single issues that Sebek kept getting hung up on.

“Treating me that way all the time will make kissing me, or saying sweet things about me, something mundane. It won't be this challenge every time you approach it, and practicing without an audience will help your embarrassment and panic.”

“I-I guess that's true, but—”

“No buts, Sebek. It's this or you tell the truth. Those are your options, everything else is just noise.”

Sebek let those words sit with him a moment, before he slowly exhaled. He hated Silver's stubborn pragmatism, he hated it more than anything, because he couldn't argue against it. He hated his idea, but Silver was correct that they had two options right now, and they both sucked.

“Fine… Though, Silver, if I upset you please tell me. I'll eventually hurt everyone else with my actions, at least let me not hurt you.” A strange expression crossed Silver's face again, surprise and concern, before it softened once again into his usual warm smile. The man moved to stand from the sofa.

“I'll be fine. I'm going to start dinner now. Try and relax, dear.” Silver's voice was soft, and casual, and Sebek's stomach flipped when Silver called him dear. It only grew worse when Silver leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, before heading off into the kitchen.

How was he meant to fall into something so seamless and casual? How was Silver a natural at this? How was he possibly going to improve when a single word and a simple kiss left him so flustered?!

Why did it leave him flustered? It was just Silver. They were just soft words and familial kisses, they shouldn't be difficult, and Silver frustratingly had a point. If he practiced, it wouldn't fluster him anymore. It'd be as mundane as asking Silver, yet again, to clean his hair out of the shower.

It would just be difficult at the start.

Chapter Text

Sebek had expected Silver to move the sofa and coffee table to the side of their living room apartment, but he hadn't expected him to do so the very next day or on his own. He could already tell Silver had hurt himself, the brace reluctantly strapped to his arm, and Sebek let out a tired sigh as he entered the apartment.

It had already been a long day at work, so to come back and immediately deal with Silver's antics was the last thing Sebek wanted right now, but he had no choice in the matter. Silver came over and leaned up to press a quick kiss to his lips, and Sebek was reminded about that too.

He didn't know why he expected Silver to drop the idea of them pretending to date even in private, because it was Silver and the man was impossibly stubborn. “Welcome home, love.”

Cheeks bright red, Sebek tried to respond as he knew Silver wouldn't stop blocking his path until he did. Though he had no idea what to do, and eventually managed to lean down and kiss Silver on the temple. That was the best he could do, but Silver at least let him pass.

“Sorry I'm late, a meeting overran. You can guess who it was with.” Sebek tried to sound casual, ignoring the tight edge to his voice as he moved to put his coat and bag away. He'd been rewarded with Silver's soft laugh.

“Alain?”

“Alain.” Sebek scoffed, taking his boots off with continued grumbles. “I don't know why he talks so much! I hate chairing meetings with him, as how do you politely tell him to shut up?! I dread asking the question ‘any other matters to bring up’ at the end, because he's always got something to say.”

“What was it this time?”

“Dead. Flowers.” That soft laughter started up again and Sebek leered at his best friend. “It's not funny! Why does he think I need to know about that!? I'm the second in command!! I'm not in charge of the housekeepers! And he makes it sound like an affront to the universe when it's some plants! We're discussing international affairs and the importance of guarding His Highness and Her Majesty, and he's talking about plants!!”

“I'll have a polite word with him, but you know what it's like for older fae sometimes. They get stuck on an idea and it's very hard to unlearn on a scale that makes sense to humans.” At the suggestion of being a human, Sebek found himself leering at Silver with his already negative mood, and the man let out a tired sigh in response. “You know what I meant.”

A hand came to hold his own, Sebek still leering, but he was at least keeping himself from an outburst. Just because Alain was frustrating to no end didn't mean he could take it out on Silver, especially as Silver was simply talking about human timelines, which Sebek followed despite being half fae. 

Though… they didn't know at what point that would stop being true. Sebek had aged at the same rate as Silver, and didn't take until the age of fifty to even have a human form because he didn't even have a fae form, but they didn't know how long he'd live either. It was something Sebek considered sometimes. His dad was in his sixties and looked like it. His brother was in his forties and didn't.

Sebek didn't like considering it, for several reasons.

A tug came to his hand, Silver looking at him with a small smile, and Sebek let his weightier thoughts leave with the last of his irritation. “I got something to help us practice.”

The conversation jumps from Silver were always jarring, and Sebek let himself be led into the living room in a small daze before being reminded that Silver had moved all the furniture around. Immediately he caught sight of the new anomaly in the room: a small stereo system. Sebek could only sigh.

“Silver, how much did that cost you…” Electronic devices were still rare in Briar Valley, and their magic counterparts even rarer. There was at least internet and electricity in the capital, but most appliances still ran without them. In fact the electricity in their own apartment was mostly for the lights, charging their phones, and the heating, and in some ways Sebek preferred it that way. Silver still having to use magic to cook removed the risk of him burning the building down.

“It was surprisingly cheap. I think the seller just wanted to get rid of it at this point, as people don't listen to CDs here, and they don't listen to CDs elsewhere either for two very different reasons.” Silver had a point, but the idea of them having an extremely retro device in their house was a little frustrating, as would it just sit there and collect dust? Especially when Silver showed him the CDs he'd bought were all classical dance songs.

He supposed he could find something to listen to whilst reading, but Sebek wasn't the most interested in music. His favourite thing to listen to was Malleus' stringed performances, and he didn't need to listen to anything else!

Though… people recorded performances and put those onto physical media, right? Sebek felt like he was suddenly onto something.

“Most of the songs I got are in three-four, as Malleus prefers those, so we’re more likely to encounter a waltz.” Silver started, putting the CDs into a couple different piles as he continued. “Though I have some in six-four in case we wanted to attempt la volta, but you’d have to lead if we did that.”

Sebek tilted his head at the odd statement, surprised Silver wouldn’t stubbornly want to be in charge (as Sebek himself would), and when Silver turned around and caught his confusion he only sighed. Gesturing with his braced arm, he spoke like it was beyond obvious. “I can’t lift you repeatedly whilst spinning, Sebek.”

Now that Silver had said it out loud, it was obvious. Sebek had watched countless voltas, it was a surprisingly popular dance in court due to how modern it was—well, modern to Briar Valley standards—but he’d never attempted one himself. He’d never really had a dance partner, and he was starting to feel uncomfortable with the idea of doing any dance in front of an audience.

That discomfort was clearly picked up on by Silver, the man sighing again before putting a disk into the player—a rather simple classical song playing moments later. “We’ll start with a waltz. It’s really quite simple. Do you remember any of the lessons from college?”

“Not… exactly. I’ve never had to dance, Silver.” Silver's expression didn't shift much, but he was probably unimpressed by the answer.

“I'll lead, then. We start in a closed position.” Sebek moved when Silver nudged his right foot backwards, moved his own left next to Sebek's, placed his hand on his waist. He was extremely close, it felt beyond awkward, and Silver sighed again as he shifted Sebek's hand to his shoulder and held his other.

“You start like this. The main movement is a box step, and you mirror my own feet. We'll get that down first.” Silver started to count, started to move, and Sebek quickly discovered Silver was also a terrible dancer. He cursed under his breath when he placed his foot in the wrong place, got frustrated when Sebek's was also in the wrong place, and it took an hour before they got into something semi-passible. Which simply meant they were no longer tripping on each other.

“I thought you knew how to dance, Silver.” 

“I know how to dance. That doesn't mean I can.” Silver muttered so calmly despite how his words condemned them both to failure, and Sebek shook his head in complete disbelief.

“Well… We've not tripped up for a while. You mentioned turning? So far we're stuck in the same spot.”

“Like this…” Silver's feet started to turn on the next count, the man explaining where Sebek's had to go, and this time Sebek picked it up surprisingly quickly. Maybe they could actually do this, and after a good while of waltzing in a circle, Sebek wondered if there was more to it or if they'd actually mastered something in a single evening. He again asked Silver.

“There is. Though I'm worried about spinning you in case you trip, because of the height…” Silver responded to his question, causing Sebek to leer at him.

“I– I could spin you then! Explain and I'll do so!”

Silver explained, Sebek spun him as directed, and the movement had been beyond stilted. They'd practiced several more spins, getting no better, before a loud growl from Sebek's stomach cut their practice short for the day.

Though it hadn't been as hopeless as Sebek had first imagined. They could dance well enough to not look like complete fools, but of course Silver was determined to continue practicing despite that.

He dragged Sebek back into this every day, and the spinning was still an issue. Silver just couldn't move fluidly enough, and he explained they were spinning the wrong way because Silver was leading. You weren't meant to spin from a leading position, as moving back was awkward, so they switched positions. 

As soon as Sebek had gotten familiar with the new footwork, Silver had been proven correct; the first spin they practiced this way caused his long hair to twirl with him, and it seemed far more natural. He could imagine Silver in a flowing gown when he spun, the twirling fabric almost like liquid, and that thought caused him to ask what they would wear.

“I’m curious what we should both wear for the ball.” Sebek started, moving them in the wide turning circle of their waltz. “If you were to wear a dress, the fabric would look amazing whilst you spun.”

Mentioning a dress caused the other man to laugh.

“Heh, a dress is a bit much. But if my outfit from my 18th birthday still fit… The cape would’ve looked great whilst spinning.” Sebek had to agree, especially when Lilia and Malleus kept stubbornly changing the colour between pink and blue. It looked like a dreamy kaleidoscope, like the morning sky, and Sebek wondered if he'd ever get to witness such a thing again.

If Silver's outfit had a cape during this ball… there was always the chance it could happen, especially if he innocently brought up the squabble in front of the two fae.

“I propose we look into matching outfits.” Sebek finally suggested, figuring that would both look good and add to the image of them being a loving couple. Silver hummed in agreement.

“Sure. It'll really be like Fleur City again, though hopefully without the fire lotuses…” Silver had snorted at his own joke, and Sebek could only shake his head fondly.

“We'd be doing a terrible job as royal guards if such a thing were to occur!” Silver didn't respond beyond an amused smile, and he was clearly thinking about something else when he eventually spoke up.

“We'll see if we can find outfits when we're next off… unless you want to start looking over lunch tomorrow?” Though Silver did smirk at him with quiet amusement as he continued. “And I'm not wearing a dress, we'll just trip over if I did.”

That hadn't been a refusal for a dress if they'd been good at dancing, and Sebek tried to not think too much into that. It was just Silver's weird humour, even if Silver wearing a lilac dress embroidered with flowers would genuinely look beautiful, and Sebek avidly ignored how he'd picked a colour for this imaginary, never-to-exist, dress.

It matched his eyes, that was all! And Silver was correct, they would both just trip over the fabric! There was no point thinking about it!

—

They'd managed to decide on clothes without much of an argument, which was an achievement considering they both had rather different clothing tastes. Silver preferred lighter colours, as dark hues would wash him out, even if Sebek was certain wearing a full-white outfit with his silver hair would make him look more washed out, not less.

Sebek of course preferred darker tones because they matched the regal elegance of their liege! Surely Silver would wish to look as striking as Malleus did, but the man had been awfully stubborn about it as he didn't want to look sick.

Eventually they’d compromised, the pair of them wearing matching teal jackets with subtle silver embroidery in the shape of briars. They were an overly popular motif, and maybe they could’ve gone for something unique, but they both genuinely enjoyed the pattern. Their outfits weren’t entirely matching, as part of the compromise, as Silver's ruffled shirt and trousers were white and Sebek's were a dark grey—but they of course both decided on a side cape. It wasn't anywhere near as long as Silver's had been during his 18th, but the dark teal fabric was going to be worn on their opposite shoulders so when they danced they'd be on the same side.

The outfits surprisingly looked good together, and the seller had been more than a little endeared by them both when they'd changed. In hindsight she was probably trying to encourage them to spend the money, but at the time Sebek had felt truly handsome.

They still needed to practice more romantic actions in front of others, but even that was getting easier as well. As unorthodox as Silver's approach had been, constantly practicing did make things less daunting, even if kissing was still an issue at times.

It would likely always be an issue, despite how stubborn Silver was being about it all. Despite how Sebek kept encouraging him to stop.

“Sebek, can I have a moment?” The sound of Lilia's voice in his office caused Sebek to flinch, flinging his quill in his sudden panic as he'd been so focused on his thoughts. Lilia had somehow caught the quill, as though expecting it, and Sebek let out an exhausted sigh as he took it back from him. If he expected it, then maybe he should have avoided the reaction altogether.

“I said knock! You can't just keep barging into my office.”

“I did knock!” Lilia protested, and Sebek felt his cheeks heat up in shame as had he really been that lost in his thoughts? The lack of response made Lilia exhale slowly. “That's exactly why I wanted to speak with you. What's going on? You look more stressed than I've seen in a while, Silver is shutting me out constantly, and I just don't understand it. Are you two breaking up?”

That hadn't been what Sebek had expected, the man staring at Lilia in surprise before he shook his head frantically. “No! Not at all, I'm just—” A nervous sound left Sebek.

“It's— It's been really different, that's all! And it's stressing me out how many people know about us. We went out for a meal whilst you were away—that noodle place you recommended to Silver—and even the server knew we were dating! We're apparently in the rags, and I— It's—” Sebek took a steadying breath. Being nervous that people knew about their relationship was likely an abnormal response, especially with just how nervous Sebek felt, but Lilia's expression grew concerned.

And a little serious.

“Sebek… Were you ready to make your relationship public? It's not like you can take it back now, but… were you ready?” The seriousness in Lilia’s question made Sebek pause, wondering what he was so concerned about. He was stressed, sure, but not so severely that Lilia should be worried about it as well. Lying wouldn't help Lilia’s concerns, however, and would likely be obvious—so Sebek told the truth.

“Not really, no. I… never intended to come out. It never seemed important to do as my private life should stay private, but… Like you say, I can't undo it now, so I've just got to deal with it.” His words didn't seem to settle Lilia at all, in fact, he seemed to grow more wound up. Lilia's brows furrowed, a small frown on his lips, and he muttered before turning to head out.

“You shouldn't be pressured into things, Sebek. That's not right.”

Sebek had absolutely no idea what that had been about, watching Lilia leave and slamming the door behind him. What had he said to anger him so? It was the reality of the situation. He hadn't been ready to come out as gay, wasn't exactly comfortable with so many strangers knowing this fact, but there was no going back at this point. Sebek had ensured that with his repeated terrible decisions.

—

It had been several hours later when Sebek understood why Lilia had been so angry, and it came in the form of an even angrier Silver barging into his office. Of course he hadn't knocked, a reality that was making Sebek consider getting a sign, but really that was the least of his problems.

“SEBEK!” Silver had never shouted so loudly, and Sebek stood up immediately even if he was clumsy with the sudden adrenaline. At first he assumed something had happened with Malleus, moving in front of his desk to approach Silver quickly, but instead the shorter man grabbed him by the collar and dragged him sharply down to snarl directly in his face.

Silver did not look good when he was angry. His soft, princely features were not meant to twist in such a way, and he still shouted despite them being so close to each other now—Sebek cringing slightly at the volume. “What did you DO?!”

“I– I-I don't—”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM?!” Sebek was frantically trying to understand, considering Silver was playing the pronoun game right now, but it was difficult to think when his heart was thundering in his ears.

“N-Nothing…?”

“DON'T BULLSHIT ME!” Silver snapped, jostling him, and Sebek was worried Silver would cause a scene. People were used to noise in this part of the castle, a reality that frustrated Sebek to no end as it was due to his inability to compose himself, but Silver's shouting would surely raise alarms.

“I have had a terrible morning, with the longest meeting, and then my FATHER storms into my office shouting at me! Saying I– I—” Sebek's stomach dropped, immediately realising where this was going, and realising yet again Silver's anger was just an explosion of the stress he was under.

It didn't make him any less terrifying, however. 

“Father thinks I– I PRESSURED YOU INTO THIS!! Sebek I have had it with all of this— this—” As Silver struggled to get his words out, Sebek slowly noticed how he looked, and it wasn’t well. He’d grown pale, his skin was clammy, and the grip he had on his collar was swiftly turning lax. It looked like he was about to pass out, but not from his usual fatigue, and when Silver suddenly crumpled Sebek had darted out to catch him.

The man was muttering slightly, his brows furrowed together in discomfort, and Sebek brought a hand up to Silver's head and stiffened at how hot he felt. “Oh shit.”

Sebek quickly brought Silver over to the couch, laying him down and trying to rouse him to no avail, and he was still burning up. He'd need some water, he needed to cool down, and he needed someone to make sure this wouldn't get worse. Rushing to his open office door, Sebek was thankful someone had made their way over with the commotion, and Sebek's own shouting would likely draw more attention.

“I NEED A PHYSICIAN, IMMEDIATELY! THE GENERAL HAS COLLAPSED.” For a moment those words didn't seem to sink in fully, the sight of Silver collapsing due to a sleep spell being a common occurrence which wouldn't warrant such a reaction, but they must've realised who they were talking to. Silver's oldest friend, his apparent boyfriend, had stormed out of his office in fear. It wasn't going to be a sleep attack, and when they nodded and sprinted off down the hall, Sebek rushed back into his office.

Silver was blinking slightly, but wasn't coherent, and Sebek felt his stomach twisting when his forehead still felt scalding. Sebek moved to grab a clean handkerchief from his drawer, his movements clumsy with the adrenaline going through him, but he finally managed to soak the fabric in his water jug and made his way back to Silver's side.

Placing the damp rag on Silver's forehead caused his expression to scrunch up, and maybe this wasn't the right thing to do, but doing nothing would lead Sebek straight into a panic. “It'll be ok, someone's coming to help.” Sebek spoke gently, well aware Silver couldn't hear him right now but not wanting to acknowledge the reassurance was mostly for himself.

—

It had been caused by stress, the physician advised. A sudden assault on Silver's nervous system had caused him to collapse, and he'd been written off work for the rest of the week and advised to recover at home. Silver wasn't taking the news well, the man really hated being away from work, but he was at least accepting the situation enough to agree to the bed rest. 

Silver being accepting of the situation, however, didn't allay Sebek's guilt for causing it in the first place.

He felt horrific, seeing Silver look so pale and exhausted whilst sitting up in his bed, and there was no way this wasn't his fault. Work hadn't gotten any more stressful, Malleus wasn't demanding more from either of them and Silver hadn't mentioned any meetings being difficult. There were no incidents to deal with, the current batch of recruits were dedicated and well-behaved, so the extra stress had to be from Sebek.

From his fake relationship, and from the fact Sebek couldn’t just take responsibility already. The physician advised Silver's regular headaches had been an early symptom, and advised if things continued as they were Silver might have to take medication for his stress. Those would be sedatives, and Silver had gone quiet at the implications. Sebek had too, as the idea of Silver spending even more of his life asleep would be devastating, and debilitating, and the last thing Sebek would want weighing on his already heavy conscience.

So Sebek had taken the time off on partial leave, advising Malleus he would be contactable in case of an emergency, but that Silver's health was the priority right now. It had been surprisingly easy to get the leave approved, and that was at least one benefit to this fake relationship—everyone expected Sebek to want to spend time with his unwell partner.

Well, everyone except Silver, who seemed a little annoyed by the development.

“Sebek, really, you don't need to watch over me… I'm going to stay in bed. I don't want to get more unwell either.” Silver had murmured in annoyance when Sebek had come in with a glass of water and some painkillers for him, but despite the complaints Silver still accepted both. Sebek knew he was just worried about the castle.

“It’s my fault you're like this, Silver. The least I can do is stop taking you for granted and help you recover.” Sebek watched as Silver worried his lower lip, clearly wanting to complain, and Sebek sighed and shook his head. “Stop fretting about it. That's literally why you're on bed rest.”

“I’m simply concerned…” Silver muttered, taking another sip of his drink before settling to lay down fully. “Besides, you're stressed enough yourself without worrying for me. I can see how much everything is weighing on you, and you don't need to add to that.”

“Stop thinking about that too.” Sebek grumbled, as that had been the centre of Silver getting unwell. He’d been patiently taking Sebek’s stress from him for months. Silver was always comforting Sebek through his anxiety and coming up with solutions, all without dealing with his own discomfort. His own stress. Silver’s selflessness was his greatest asset and his greatest fault, and Sebek was frustrated with himself that he hadn’t noticed this sooner. Hadn’t noticed Silver was getting easily annoyed, or kept getting headaches, when he should’ve. Silver was his best friend, he knew him better than anyone, and in hindsight it was obvious he would do this. 

It was just difficult to stop him when Silver’s support was the only reason this situation hadn’t exploded already. Sebek moved to wordlessly draw Silver’s curtains closed, trying to encourage him to sleep. He shouldn’t have to encourage Silver to sleep, and it really highlighted how unwell he was. “You should get some rest. If you need anything, just ask—I’ll be reading across the hall in my room.”

Silver had been silent, but as Sebek started to make his way out of his room he suddenly spoke up. “Um. Could…” His voice was quiet, maybe a little tight with nerves, and Sebek turned back to give him his full attention. That didn't seem to help, but Silver managed to eventually mumble his request.

“Could I have a kiss?” Out of everything Silver could have asked for, that was the last thing Sebek expected. In fact it hadn't even been on the list, and he blinked at him in confusion before Silver continued. “The ball is still happening in a few weeks. We still need to practice…”

“You need to rest. Stop thinking about it already.”

“Please?” Something about Silver's voice tugged at Sebek, his chest throbbing at the quiet supplication in his gaze, and Sebek walked back over.

It was just a kiss, and if Silver wanted one so badly… Sebek leant down, pressed a gentle kiss to those too-soft lips, before straightening. “Get some rest, Silver.”

The quiet smile on Silver's face made that throbbing worse, the man nodding and closing his eyes before he mumbled. “Thank you, Sebek. I'll sleep well now.”

That felt strange, Sebek not sure what to make of it and chalking it up to Silver being tired and unwell. He left, closing the door quietly behind him, and making his way into the living room to collect his book from the side table. Only to nearly throw the book when he turned around and Lilia was immediately behind him.

He'd managed to muffle his scream, which was a relief as he really didn’t want to disturb Silver. “Lilia.” Sebek hissed, a small spark of annoyance in his lungs. “You definitely didn't knock this time.”

Lilia at least looked somewhat apologetic, and he also seemed to realise this incident was in part his own fault. “I can leave if you need me to, but I wanted to check in on him. I didn't… realise he'd react that way.”

Sebek exhaled. “It's my fault for not explaining things properly.” Gesturing to the sofa, Sebek figured this could be a long talk so would rather sit for it all. “Whilst you shouldn't have gotten involved like that, I understand you were just concerned. Silver did not pressure me. He's been… unbelievably supportive this entire time, and that's exactly why he's been confined to bed rest.”

The guilt on Lilia's face only grew, and Sebek hated how every time he tried to make things right, he ended up hurting someone. It was making this entire situation exhausting. “It was my parents. They… were concerned I'd spend my life alone. So they arranged a courtship for me, and I had to explain the situation to assuage their concerns.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Sebek just apologised again. “I'm sorry I didn't explain before. We've both been dealing with a lot because of how sudden the change has been, that's all.”

Lilia seemed to accept that, but the guilt in his expression had shifted into something else. His gaze had drifted behind Sebek, towards the hall their rooms lead to, and he nodded in that direction as well.

“Why do you both have separate rooms?”

Dread flooded through Sebek immediately, not realising how utterly bizarre that one simple fact would be. How it could ruin their entire facade. His lack of response, and how he'd grown pale, caused Lilia's eyes to narrow.

“I know something strange is going on here, Sebek. Please don't lie to me. I'm concerned, for both of you, as you're both acting so bizarrely.” Lilia brought his hands out to hold one of Sebek's, the man stiffening in surprise, but Lilia looked genuinely concerned. “I need to know what's happening. I feel like I'm losing my son, and I've tried asking him but he just…”

A tired sigh left him, the old fae shaking his head. “He keeps getting angry, which is why I'd assumed maybe he was being… difficult to be in a relationship with. You don't share a bed, Silver seems uncomfortable whenever I'm around. At least you seem to be kissing now? But something still just feels wrong.”

There were several options for Sebek to take right now, and all of them left him panicked. He could brush Lilia off, saying nothing was wrong except the stress of the situation, but it didn't explain their sleeping arrangements—unless Sebek claimed it to be their shift patterns? Silver didn't want to wake Sebek up at night and vice versa. 

Sebek could tell the truth. Lilia would be furious, but if he explained how everything happened, maybe Lilia would have an idea how to fix things. Yet admitting to Lilia that they were both lying to him wouldn't help Lilia’s concern, and would only fuel the idea Silver was pushing him away. Or…

“Lilia… I didn't want to speak on this, as it's not my place to do so, but you really need to understand already. And not stress Silver about it if I tell you. Not right now at least.” The seriousness to his voice made Lilia sit upright, squeezing his hand and giving him a firm nod of agreement.

“We have separate rooms because we don't have sex.” Lilia seemed taken aback by the short statement, confused and clearly having more questions, but Sebek continued before he lost his nerve. “Silver finds even the idea of having sex utterly repulsive, so it's just not part of our relationship.

“He's like that with a lot of romance. Kissing is difficult for him at times, so I don't push him about it even if, well, I-I quite like kissing him. It…” Sebek's face was heating with embarrassment, and he was frustrated how admitting to such a tiny thing was making him nervous.

At least all the practice they'd been doing paid off, as he didn't shut down entirely due to nerves. “We've a lot of boundaries in our relationship, just to keep Silver comfortable, and it's a little stressful at times as I don't ever want to upset him but… I love him.” Sebek hated how his throat tightened, and he realised this was the first time he'd said that directly to Lilia.

He almost panicked whether it sounded convincing, whether his lie was obviously there, but Lilia's gaze had softened. It made it easier to say it again.

“I love him so much, Master Lilia, that I'll do anything to keep him comfortable. I don't pressure him about anything, and everything I get from him is a blessing. We're happy together, it's just… I-I guess the strain of feeling like we're not a real couple, plus my own issues, has made everything so… difficult. And strange. Your… Your comments really upset him, which is likely why he keeps getting angry with you.”

“You mean… I've been making him deeply uncomfortable this entire time?” Lilia sounded devastated, and Sebek's chest ached as he wanted to help however he could. Squeezing his hand in return, Sebek spoke quietly.

“Yes, but it's not your fault. We never said, and I should've encouraged Silver to say something sooner.” Sebek felt his cheeks flushing with shame, looking back over his shoulder towards the hallway, towards Silver’s room. “I'm worried this is too much for him. Before we became public there weren’t any expectations. People just saw us as very close friends, which we are, first and foremost, but now there's just this weight to everything we do… I’m not sure how to lift it.”

Sebek frowned, his eyes stinging, and he wondered what he was even rambling about. The more he added to this lie, the worse it would get, and he felt guilt cling to his chest. Maybe he should've just told the truth, and Sebek closed his eyes as how could he tell Lilia the truth now? “I… I feel terrible for putting this on him sometimes, as he doesn't feel… doesn't feel things the same way as I.”

A hand snapped up to his chin and forced him to look back at Lilia. The glare of anger on his face immediately made Sebek regret his decision to speak. “Don't say that. He might not express it the same way, but I know he loves you.” 

How suddenly Lilia had changed from knowing something was wrong to defending Silver's pretend feelings was astounding, but before Sebek could defend himself Lilia elaborated. “I’ve watched you two cling to each other for twenty years, Sebek. No one makes him smile more than you. You're always looking out for him, and he's always looking out for you, and I can't imagine a world where you're not at each other's side.”

Sebek felt his chest tightening, his flush growing worse. “Silver brightens when you enter a room, when something bad happens you're the first person he asks about, when he was stressed he came to your office for reassurance. It might not be romantic, but it's love. I'm sorry my assumptions of what romance should look like got in the way of one of the purest and selfless loves I've ever seen.”

The hand at his chin dropped, Sebek's flush growing to his ears at the fact Lilia saw such strong love between them both. It didn't seem like it was there, for a good chunk of his life Sebek refused to even acknowledge Silver as his friend after all, but… Lilia had a point. Love didn't need to be romantic, and Sebek knew he loved Silver. The fact others could see that shouldn't be a bad thing, shouldn't be embarrassing, and he smiled brightly at the fact his friend apparently adored him just as much as he did.

“I… You’re right, Master Lilia. I must be more stressed than I first thought about this.” Lilia smiled wide at him in return, before his expression shifted into something slightly devious, and Sebek felt exhausted because what was Lilia going to do now?

“You're off the hook for now, but when Silver's better don't think I won't tease you both to death still.” Sebek's expression grew pained, and Lilia chuckled. “Oh, nothing that should upset him, don't fret. But I can certainly bring up how my son has his own personal knight in shining armour! I can imagine it now, you kneeling down, swearing your love and loyalty and my son swooning at the sight of you… It's why you waited until after you were knighted, right~? So you could make that dream a reality!”

“Master Lilia…” Sebek had expected to be outraged, but the image just made Sebek flush darkly as he could never imagine Silver swooning. Yet Lilia had been correct, that was embarrassing because it was overly sentimental and saccharine, but it wasn't unbearable to think about. If Lilia had spent two weeks teasing them like that, he likely wouldn't have shouted at him.

“Sebek.” A muffled shout came from down the hall, Sebek instantly sitting upright at the sound, and Lilia just chuckled more.

“There he is, ready to defend his one true love from the evils of a headache~” 

“MASTER LILIA!!” Sebek squeaked, moving to stand abruptly and speaking in a flustered annoyance. “E-Either apologise for yelling at Silver or please leave! I'm very busy.”

“Father's here?” The shout was still muffled, and Sebek felt at a loss when Lilia simply chuckled again.

“He'll be wanting a drink. Go get him one and I'll go and say hi.” Lilia patted Sebek on the shoulder, making his way down the hall and knocking on Silver's door. The sight of him knocking irked Sebek to no end, but he wouldn't speak on it—instead following Lilia's instruction. Frustratingly Lilia had been correct, Silver had just wanted more water and was wondering about dinner, but he'd at least walked in on Lilia apologising.

The conversation between them all felt more normal than it had in months, and Sebek realised maybe he had a way out of here that wouldn't end in major upset. He could simply explain how they stopped wanting to be romantic, as Sebek wanted more than Silver could provide, but they still adored each other. Still cared for each other immensely, and that the breakup had even been encouraged by Silver himself.

Though he would still need to tell his parents the truth. Claiming they had pleasantly broken up would work with Lilia and Malleus, even if he could see Malleus being upset about no future wedding, but his parents would still want to try and set him up with someone else. And Sebek didn't know how to say no to that, as they were only concerned for his future.

Sebek had to admit he was a little concerned as well, of course he was worried about never finding love and dying alone, but he didn't want to think about it. Right now Silver needed to get better, and they needed to navigate a formal ball together.

At least they were doing so together, that was the one comfort Sebek could take from this.

Chapter Text

The week of bedrest didn't seem to dissuade Silver from his stubborn need to practice, as he'd regularly asked Sebek for kisses. He still used pet names, and when he was finally allowed out of bed he dragged them both back to dance practice like he hadn't just collapsed from stress a week ago. Silver had been adamant about making up for lost time, wanting them to be as prepared for the autumnal ball as they could possibly be, but Sebek was just worried he'd make himself ill again.

Though now that Lilia wasn't harassing them both, had apologised, Silver did seem a lot calmer even if he was still clearly uncomfortable with kissing him for more than a couple seconds.

They could eventually dance a pretty good waltz, a fact that still surprised Sebek, and they decided to practice in their outfits to see if any issues came about from that. It had been a little awkward at first, Sebek's boots were a lot heavier than his socks after all, but they eventually moved just as well in their outfits. Even if Sebek had to admit the first time he saw Silver spinning with that cape on he’d been distracted. He looked like his entire being had been spun from silk with how the fabric shimmered like his hair.

That had caused Silver to get slightly annoyed at him, seeing as the run failed because Sebek had gotten so distracted, but they just started from the beginning again.

It had again been going fine, until Silver spoke up.

“You look really handsome, dear.” Silver had spoken so casually, the words sinking in and making Sebek's throat tighten up because Silver was complimenting his appearance? They'd been saying nice things about each other through their practice, but it had never grown physical, and Sebek was caught entirely off-guard by it—and it was obvious. He'd grown bright red, had yet to respond, and his steps had been misplaced which resulted in Silver sighing at him in annoyance.

“Sebek… Say something back. This is why we're practicing.” He’d sounded calm when he spoke, but Sebek knew he was definitely frustrated, and Sebek had to swallow around the growing lump in his throat.

“Ah, you look— When you spun before! You looked like the ripples on a lake!” Sebek had no idea what he was saying, stammering through whatever words first came to mind. “It was a true picture of elegance and refinement, you looked beautiful!”

Those last words did reach Sebek's ears, making them flush darkly like the rest of him, and he had to look away because that had been mortifying. That had been too much, and likely sounded incredibly forced and stupid, and—

Silver moved in their waltz, pressing his head against Sebek's chest, and Sebek assumed he was falling asleep. But the rest of his movements weren't stilted, he was dancing fine, and glancing back at him, Sebek caught sight of the pink on his ears. He was likely annoyed at how bad that had been, but after a moment Silver stopped hiding his face.

He was blushing, and didn't look mad. “Apologies. You caught me off guard. You should try and say things like that in front of others, Sebek. It sounded very romantic.”

The fact Silver was still pressed against his chest made Sebek feel oddly nervous, as he could feel his heartbeat thundering in his chest. Silver would hear that, would know the pace had picked up at his words, and he tried to sound less frazzled when he spoke—desperate to distract Silver. From what, Sebek really didn’t know.

“A-Ah, well, I— It's true! It's why I'd grown distracted before.”

“You mean you thought those things unprompted?”

“N-No!! I mean– it– not all of it!! Just the lake, and that you looked beautiful as the cape—” He'd called Silver beautiful again and Silver had heard it because he'd flushed darker, and Sebek wished he could hide like Silver was right now.

Why was Silver hiding? Embarrassment, sure, but was it more than that? Was he uncomfortable? Sebek's nerves left him immediately at that sobering thought, suddenly recalling Silver's words from months ago. “OH! I'm sorry! You don't like compliments about your appearance, I shouldn't’ve—”

“No, it was fine. I'm fine.” Silver mumbled, still half-hiding, and really it was obvious he was uncomfortable right now. He could barely look at him currently.

“You don't have to pretend! I overstepped a boundary, that was wrong of me, and—”

“No, really, Sebek. It was fine. It didn't make me uncomfortable, I'm just…” Silver finally pulled back from his chest, his face still pink, but he let out a small huff of laughter—that quirk of a smile on his lips—before he continued. “I'm just surprised at how nice it was to hear.”

…oh.

Sebek deflated immediately, the relief making his legs feel unsteady which wasn't the best when they were still doing a slow waltz together. In fact he hadn't even thought about the fact they were still dancing so seamlessly, it felt natural at this point, and that just made him feel more relieved.

“Good. Ok. I'm glad that wasn't too much.”

“You can't freak out like that at the ball, and I can't get embarrassed like that either, so maybe you should attempt saying some more?” Silver spoke calmly even though he was outrageously fishing for compliments, and Sebek was baffled once again by the man before him. 

Silver truly wanted Sebek to compliment him to prepare for the ball. So that they wouldn't get flustered again. Simply knowing a compliment wouldn't upset Silver was enough for Sebek to not freak out again, and Silver hadn't seemed that outrageously embarrassed by the compliment, so it felt a little redundant. Still, if he didn't at least try, Silver would get stubborn about it and he didn’t want an argument today.

“Uh… The colour of your jacket really brings out the colour in your eyes!” Sebek had stumbled over his words, and this time instead of getting embarrassed, Silver smirked a little.

“Oh? You've been looking at my eyes?”

“YES!” Sebek snapped, his face flaming with indignation. “Where else am I meant to look whilst talking to you?!”

“But you noticed the colour.”

“Obviously! Your eyes are really unique, Silver. People have said this for years! They're like opals!!” That did make Silver's flush darken a little, but he didn't hide again, instead he just smirked more as they turned in their waltz.

“That does sound familiar. Shame the embroidery on our jackets is silver, as if it were gold it'd bring out the same warm tones in your own eyes.” Being on the receiving end of the same thing, especially with Silver's exceptionally blunt and unaffectionate delivery, shouldn't have made Sebek's heart lurch but it did.

It lurched again when that smirk grew as Silver leant just a little closer in their dance. “I always find your slit pupils fascinating. It makes your eyes look sharp, and full of energy.”

That was less embarrassing, and felt more silly, and maybe that was the point of this. So that the compliments didn't feel strange, just light-hearted and fun, and Sebek snorted at Silver's words.

“Well, the embroidery at least matches your hair!” The sudden return to Silver's appearance made Silver snort.

“And what about my hair? Are you going to say it's glittery?” His voice was teasing, and Sebek scoffed at how little Silver expected from him.

“Of course not! I would describe your hair as mesmerising, like a veil of starlight, and when it isn’t tied up it is like a cascade of moonlit waves! It is a gentle and calming colour and contrasts with your vibrant eyes!!” Silver’s smirk had dropped, the man blinking in surprise for several moments as that pink returned a lot darker than before. A small moment of pride filled Sebek's chest, clearly managing to catch Silver off guard again, but he of course recovered quickly.

He chuckled, that teasing smile returning, and spoke with that same amusement. “You can't just recite poetry, Sebek.”

“Y– YOU PUT ME ON THE SPOT!!” Sebek shouted, that teasing smile at least slipping from Silver's face at the volume, but he didn't break away from their dancing. “Besides, I saw it affected you!! Don't lie!”

“It affected me only because I had to try and wade through metaphors.” That smirking returned. “You're not very good at this, are you?”

“I'M BETTER THAN YOU COMMENTING ON MY PUPILS!!”

“I like your pupils.”

“TH-THAT'S NOT THE POINT, THAT'S NOT ROMANTIC!!” Sebek was ignoring how his cheeks were flushed, not from annoyance, but from the simple—stupid—comment that Silver liked his pupils.

Because it wasn't romantic! He shouldn’t be blushing over it!!

—

Sebek rather swiftly learnt why Silver had been so adamant about them practicing, because time had moved exceptionally quickly. It had been a few weeks since Silver’s stress episode, yet it felt like that had happened mere days ago and despite that they were literally walking to Malleus’ autumnal ball. Silver had done his hair in a more complicated braid, and had actually put on some eye makeup even if he claimed to have forgotten most of his techniques from college. Really it didn’t look that way at all as the silver eyeshadow with the faintest hint of teal eyeliner in the outer corner of his eyes looked professionally applied.

The contrast didn’t look too dramatic, Silver didn’t look like a clown, and honestly it made Sebek wish he’d done more with his own makeup. He’d simply applied some black eye-liner and mascara, even if Silver had chuckled and said he didn’t need the mascara. There was some truth to his words, as Sebek knew his eyelashes were already rather thick, but they were green. Dark green, like his grandfather’s hair, but still a colour that looked too jarring against the eyeliner alone—the mascara was simply being used to tint.

Another squeeze came to his hand, Sebek realising with a start he’d been in his head the entire journey, and Silver quietly took him to the side of the castle grounds. “We can still go home.” Silver spoke gently, but something about how tightly he was holding Sebek’s hand made him grow concerned. It was subtle, but Silver was shifting where he stood and was obviously restless, and maybe this was too much stress for him considering he’d been taken ill recently.

That would’ve been a very reasonable excuse to get out of the ball, Malleus had been concerned for Silver after all, but Silver had focused on preparing for the ball instead of using it as an excuse to avoid it entirely. Sebek took a step closer.

“Are you ok, Silver? I was simply lost in thought. I feel surprisingly confident about tonight.” His words had caused Silver to glance elsewhere—briefly—but it was long enough to know Silver was definitely uncomfortable about something.

“It’s… I forgot we’re minor celebrities. People keep staring and whispering, and they’re smiling so I know it’s nothing bad, but it’s… a lot of attention.” Sebek had taken that moment to look around himself, and he caught a group of women who seemed to be looking at them. They immediately stiffened and turned away when Sebek instinctively glared at them, before he turned back to give Silver his full attention.

“If it’s too much, let me know. We’re going to be around Master Lilia and Lord Malleus for most of the evening, so people are going to stare. Ok?” Silver nodded, giving his hand a small tug, and they made their way into the ballroom.

If there had been a lot of people outside, the inside was worse. Music was already quietly playing, small clusters of people dancing in the centre of the room even as others were still filtering in. Malleus wasn’t in attendance yet, they’d not been too late for his formal welcome which had been Sebek’s biggest stress that evening, but Silver still seemed very tense. Sebek led them both over to the buffet, intending to get Silver some coffee, but the man spoke up.

“No. If I have that coffee you won’t be able to kiss me.” Silver mumbled quietly, and Sebek blinked at him in surprise, before frowning. He was clearly overthinking things if he was denying himself coffee over such a trivial thing, and Sebek frowned when Silver instead grabbed a glass of wine.

“Should you be drinking? We may not be on duty, but—”

“We’re not on duty.” Silver parroted his words back to him, taking a sip of the wine before pulling a clear face of displeasure. It took a lot of effort not to snort at the immediate regret Silver was going through. “Maybe… we can share the glass?”

Taking a sip of it himself, Sebek had to admit it was a rather dry wine, but it certainly wasn’t bad. It made it impossible not to grow a little smug, considering there was something Sebek could finally tolerate that Silver clearly couldn’t. “Hmph, well, we both know you’re a light-weight with alcohol anyway.”

Silver’s eyes narrowed immediately. “You’re just as bad. You got exceptionally tipsy during that picnic, even with food. I remember you couldn’t stop laughing at, what was it again? Ducks?”

“I— Y-You were laughing too! And it was a rather ornery cat that had been trying to chase the ducks and immediately got what it deserved!” A quiet smile finally crossed Silver’s face, even if it had been preceded by another grimace when he drank more of the wine. Sebek did not know why this man was so stubborn.

“Oh yeah, it had fallen—”

A rather loud, overly-excited, shriek cut Silver off—the pair of them stiffening and immediately turning towards the ruckus. Even if they were off-duty, loud noises at Malleus’ parties were definitely unusual, so of course they were immediately on edge. The source of the disturbance stood out instantly, mostly for the fact the brightly dressed man who had shrieked was heading straight towards them. Silver seemed to recover first, but he didn’t draw his magearm in defense.

“K– Kalim?!” Silver asked in confused surprise, and Sebek was stunned to discover his observation was correct. The brightly dressed man was Kalim Al-Asim, and trailing after him with a frustrated look of annoyance was none other than Jamil Viper.

“SILVER!!” Kalim had immediately hugged his friend upon reaching him, who had quickly passed the glass of wine over to Sebek to protect everyone’s outfits. It looked like Kalim was on the verge of tears. “I thought I’d never see you again!! It’s been years!! And wow your hair! It’s so pretty! And how did it get that long?! It’s like a waterfall!”

Silver was blinking in confusion, likely overwhelmed by the million questions when Jamil finally caught up and tugged Kalim back. “Stop causing a scene. You’re a diplomatic guest. Also of course Silver was going to be here—he’s literally in charge of the castle forces. You’d know that if you read literally any of the briefings you were given.”

Jamil didn’t seem to have changed in the slightest, and Sebek was honestly surprised he was still working for Kalim considering how little he seemed to tolerate him back in college. But Sebek supposed things changed with time, seeing as he’d convinced himself Silver was his most hated rival around that time as well, and now they were living together as best—

“Oh!! I did read it, Jamil! And it mentioned something exciting too!!” Kalim had turned towards Sebek, that beaming smile almost a little too blinding for someone with nocturnal fae blood, and he didn’t like the sudden attention either. Or the fact Kalim kept glancing between him and Silver. “You’re both dating now, right?! That’s so exciting!! I can’t believe it, considering that period you were dating Jack, and—”

Sebek was mortified at the mention of Jack Howl, especially because Silver looked at him in quiet surprise. “Jack?”

“I-It was really casual! Exceptionally casual!! A-AND PRIVATE TOO!” The volume increase at least stopped Kalim, who had been talking to himself despite the small exchange between Silver and Sebek, and Silver winced with how close he’d been to the outburst. Sebek at least felt a little guilty for that.

“Oh! Sorry, you’re right, my bad.” Kalim moved to rub the back of his head, the extraordinary amount of gold jewelry on his arms creating a cacophony in the process. “Jack had only told me about it after you’d broken up, and did say you didn’t want people to know about it.”

“So he’s one of the four…” Silver mumbled to himself, and Sebek wanted to leave his mortal shell and never return.

“The four? That sounds like some ominous villain thing! Is Jack a villain?!”

“Ah, no, it’s just the four people Sebek has—”

“SILVER!!!” Sebek had screeched suddenly, and Silver at least had the decency to look ashamed. Even if the pair of these together again made Sebek remember exactly why they’d been known as ‘The Facepalm Brigade’ back in college. It had been a decade, and yet they were still effortlessly bouncing off of each others’ earnest stupidity that Sebek felt like he’d been flung straight back into his awkward teenage years.

Jamil even had his face in his palm, clearly wanting to be anywhere else than here right now, and Sebek suddenly wondered why they were both even here. They’d mentioned Kalim was a diplomatic guest, which made sense, but he’d never attended any of their balls in the past. So what had the sudden change been for? Briefly he feared Malleus had invited him because he was friends with Silver, or worse Lilia had invited him because they were friends who could embarrass Silver and his new boyfriend, but the real reason slowly came to mind.

“I’m…” Sebek almost stiffened at the sudden bright attention again, and he wondered how Silver put up with this for years. Seemed to enjoy it for years. It was like an overly excited puppy. “I’m sorry to hear about your father.”

Kalim’s father had died about a year ago, Sebek recalled reading about it in the newspaper, and it explained why Kalim was here. The previous ruler of House Asim had likely been refusing their invites, for any number of reasons even if the most likely was still the tension around Malleus’ overblot, and now that the invite had gone to Kalim directly, House Asim would of course be in attendance.

Waving a dismissive hand, Kalim was still smiling brightly despite the cloud Sebek had managed to cast over the group. “There’s no need to look so glum! My father had been ill for a while, and we all got to say goodbye! Though I’ll admit, being in charge of the family business has been a big change. I imagine you feel the same, Silver, being in charge of the royal guard!”

“Ah, well, I don’t do it alone… And technically Malleus and Queen Maleficia are still in charge, I just run the day-to-day.” The quiet way in which Silver had dismissed himself didn’t sit right with Sebek, but before he could speak up in Silver’s defence, Kalim spoke up again.

“That’s true!! You have Sebek, just like I have Jamil!” Kalim’s words had made Jamil recoil slightly, and Sebek eyed him curiously. He’d assumed Kalim had been talking about them supporting each other, as Sebek helped Silver with work and Jamil likely did all of Kalim’s work, but… had he meant it differently? Were Jamil and Kalim dating? Jamil had composed himself rather quickly, leering at Sebek quietly, and maybe staring had been the wrong thing to do. It felt like it had been the wrong choice, even if Sebek didn’t know what his choices had been.

Especially when the next song started and Kalim suddenly grew even more excited. “Oh! Silver, dance with me!! We can catch up that way, it’ll be fun!” Before Silver had even agreed or disagreed, Kalim had grabbed his wrist—his bad one, judging by the quiet wince from Silver—and started to tug at him. Obviously not wanting to be in pain, Silver went with him without complaint, but Sebek could tell he didn’t fully appreciate it either. Why didn’t people respect Silver’s boundaries? Why did Silver never say anything about it?

He watched the pair of them start dancing, figuring he should finish off the glass of wine in Silver’s stead. It really wasn’t amazing, but he wouldn’t dare consider saying anything about it to someone. After all, it was likely Sebek disliked it because he didn’t have the refined palette of a full-blooded fae, that’s all! His liege wouldn’t be serving mediocre wine! It had been rather amusing watching Silver and Kalim from afar, as it hadn’t been long before Lilia had descended upon the two—the group looking over in his direction and waving.

Sebek could only really wave back, as he didn’t want to go any closer to Kalim again if he could help it. Instead, he handed his empty glass back to a server and figured he’d have to wait for Silver to break free when he heard a tired sigh from his side.

“Look here, Sebek.” Sebek had stiffened at Jamil suddenly speaking up, considering he’d been so focused on Kalim and Silver as well, and something uncomfortable sat in Sebek’s gut at his tone. “I don’t care that you’re both not actually dating, or why, but as Prince Malleus’ retainers you should conduct yourselves better than that. Or get better at lying.”

The chill that went through Sebek was intense, and made him regret staring at Jamil earlier in case that had provoked this, but he felt a defensiveness settle in his gut as well. Felt a quiet anger at the accusation as they’d been perfectly convincing. “I’m sorry? What are you talking about? Silver and I have been together for years, Jamil.” His jaw had itched to call Jamil a human. If the man couldn’t respect the pair of them enough to respect their relationship then he didn’t deserve a name, but Sebek knew he was better than that now. Especially when speaking to someone who was technically a diplomatic guest.

“Silver has always been a terrible liar, Sebek. You’re both close, but not that close. There’s a purposeful distance between you both at all times, his smiles are forced, and you also get louder when you’re hiding things.” Every word made that chill grow worse and worse, wondering if everyone else could see the things Jamil was so casually listing, and yet one of the things he said lodged itself firmly in Sebek’s chest and burned.  

“Silver’s smiles are not forced.” Sebek snapped sharply, the venom in his words making one of Jamil’s elegant eyebrows raise in curiosity. He still only looked at Sebek out the corner of his eye, like he couldn’t deign to give him his full attention, and Sebek had not missed this particular schoolmate.

“Is that so? Then tell me why he looks so uncomfortable next to you.” Sebek felt like he was seeing red, his lungs burning with fury because Silver wasn’t uncomfortable next to him either. 

“He had a stress attack this month! He’s just uncomfortable with the attention!! Keep— Keep your unwanted comments about our relationship to yourself!”

“Hmph. Then explain to me why you fell in love with Silver Vanrouge, if you actually can.” It was the why question again, the difficult one that was designed to catch people off guard on purpose. Sebek suddenly remembered his terrible attempt to form any words in a restaurant all those weeks ago, but they’d practiced for this. For exactly this. Sebek felt like he could speak with confidence, and surprisingly the anger likely helped.

“How couldn’t I fall for him?” Sebek had started, Jamil rolling his eyes in the belief Sebek was just leaving him with that non-answer, but he wasn’t about to stop there. “Silver is the most kind, most determined, most patient man in the world! I have never met a nobler soul, a truer friend, and I never will! He loves with such gentleness that I feel wholly undeserving of, and yet he gives it gladly!! His smile is my favourite thing in the world, and his laughter is a breath of fresh air whenever I feel swamped by the weight of everything. Silver has never once doubted me, he trusts me unconditionally, and I trust him the same! I love him the same!”

A growl left Sebek, his eyes stinging as he felt more words bubble up from inside him. “He’s beautiful! Inside and out!! I want to protect him and his happiness, and feel forever blessed to cause even a fraction of it. It’s impossible to live a life beside Silver Vanrouge and not fall in love with him, and I’m forever glad he allows me to! So don’t you dare— ”

Sebek felt himself flinch when a familiar hand slid into his own, and he blinked rapidly to calm the painful stinging in his eyes. He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up over this. Silver squeezed his hand quietly, Sebek looking over at the quiet concern on his face, but finding himself distracted by the bright flush on Silver’s cheeks. It was obvious Silver had heard him, but how much of it? Why was Sebek embarrassed by the idea of him hearing things? He’d mostly spoken the truth, after all, because he was beyond thankful to have such a wonderful best friend. The truth shouldn’t be embarrassing.

How quiet Silver had grown was concerning as well, and Sebek felt his hand tighten when Jamil spoke up.

“It appears I was mistaken. A rare occurrence. My sincere apologies, Sebek.” He gave Sebek a small nod, his gaze closed off and unreadable, before he nodded at Silver as well. “Silver.”

Silver barely looked up, mumbling quietly. “Kalim is speaking with my father, if you’re needing to keep track of him.”

The dismissive huff of air that left Jamil just made Sebek’s anger return, made him feel defensive on Silver's behalf, but Jamil at least started to walk away. “I know where he is. I’d be a poor retainer if I didn’t.”

The silence Jamil left behind was heavy, Sebek not sure how to broach it, but he slowly noticed Silver was shaking slightly. It was subtle, and was felt more along their joined hands than something visible, but concerning all the same. He didn’t want Silver to have another stress attack, and he was likely uncomfortable because of what Sebek had said—which meant he needed to get him alone to talk to him and apologise. They still had time until Malleus’ entrance, and Sebek squeezed his hand to quietly get his attention.

“Let’s get some air.” Sebek spoke softly, and Silver immediately nodded. Once they were outside his shaking had grown worse, and Sebek didn’t know how to help. He sat them both down on a stone bench, the chill grounding, and he’d been about to give Silver some space when Silver suddenly snuggled up close to his side.

That was the last thing Sebek expected, seeing as he’d assumed Silver’s discomfort was due to him, and he felt his heart starting to race with his own nerves. Silver was warm, and reassuring, but him being so close just left him so nervous. “Thank you, Sebek… I was feeling uncomfortable there.”

The vulnerability from Silver made Sebek calm somewhat, even if his heart was still racing, and he moved to wrap an arm around Silver’s shoulders. “You should have said so… Did something happen when you were dancing with Kalim? You hadn’t been gone very long.”

Silver nodded quietly, but didn’t elaborate. “It’s just the attention… I don’t mind it from you, the practice has made it easy now, it’s… just a lot from everyone else.”

“Was Kalim too much?” Silver shook his head.

“No, he’s just like that. It was surprising to see him again, and he was mostly just gushing about how happy he was for me, but it wasn’t too much.” There had been a small pause, and the moment Silver decided to stop dwelling on his weightier thoughts was immediately obvious because of his growing smirk. “Jack Howl, huh?”

Sebek stiffened again, having completely forgotten that had come up.

“When did that even happen?” His amusement had only grown, Silver glancing up at Sebek from his shoulder, and Sebek’s cheeks were burning at the idea of telling his best friend about his first boyfriend.

“A-After Malleus’ overblot?” Sebek had half-squeaked, knowing Silver would pester and tease about the subject if Sebek tried to skirt around things. It was one of the more frustrating habits he’d picked up from his father. Though he seemed surprised by the answer.

“Really? But we spent a month in hospital, and then it was basically the end of the year… How’d it even start?” Silver didn’t sound judgemental at all, merely curious, and that at least calmed Sebek down. Of course he wouldn’t have judged, Silver hadn’t once made any odd comments about him liking men, and he wouldn’t be pretending to be his boyfriend if he did mind. Really, it just seemed like Silver wanted to know more about his friend, especially because this had completely passed him by without realising.

“It was… after hospital. Or, I guess sort of during? He visited with some of my things, and I was rather surprised by it seeing as we rarely spoke. We started talking more, and we had a lot in common, and he was rather handsome so…” Sebek moved to rub the back of his neck with his spare hand, still feeling a little embarrassed even though he knew Silver wasn’t going to mock him about it. Honestly it felt strange talking to someone about it, seeing as he never had. “We, uh, dated for most of my second year…”

Silver had grown surprised at that, but then his gaze softened after a moment or two into a quiet melancholy. “I imagine I missed all the signs considering… everything.” 

It was likely Silver missed the signs because Sebek had been so painfully private about it—it had been why they’d broken up after all—and not because of everything he’d been working through at the time. Silver’s third year had been difficult. He’d been made Diasomnia’s Housewarden, and Sebek had acted as his Vice, but Silver was going through a rather protracted recovery with his arm. It hadn’t helped that Silver had a few anxious episodes where he’d gotten extremely worried about his father, to the point where he’d almost needed to take time out again, and it definitely didn’t help that they still couldn’t find a cure for his sleep curse despite knowing it was a curse in the first place.

Sebek wished he’d approached Silver more back then, hadn’t been too wrapped up with his own issues, as Silver would have likely benefitted from the support. It was one of his heavier regrets, and it was one he couldn’t take back.

“There the two lovebirds are~” The gratingly familiar sound of Lilia’s voice called out to them, and Silver exhaled tiredly. At least he’d gotten a small break, and Sebek squeezed his arm reassuringly when Silver sat upright. “You realise you both missed Malleus’ entrance, right?”

Sebek had stiffened at that, his hand dropping from around Silver as a wave of shame flooded through him. Silver just sighed again, taking Sebek's hand and moving to stand. “Sorry about that… I needed some air. I’m still trying to pace myself.”

Once again Silver was taking the blame for things, and Sebek squeezed his hand in complaint. Silver just squeezed it back as they approached Lilia.

“I’m surprised you’re not catching up with people, father. Kalim seemed excited to speak with you.” Lilia waved a dismissive hand, amusement sparkling in his eyes.

“Oh and we have! Though I haven’t been able to catch up with everyone on my stopover.” Sebek watched as Lilia folded his arms, the man pouting in annoyance. “Whoever sent Baur on a trip to the Sunset Savannah, a trip which caused him to miss the autumnal ball, is my greatest enemy.”

Sebek did not want to inform Lilia that it had been Queen Maleficia herself who had sent him, at Silver’s recommendation.

“Imagine introducing Kalim to him. You can’t say no to him, even if you do say no, and Baur dancing with Kalim would have been a memory for a lifetime! And I don’t get to witness it!!” Silver had snorted softly at Lilia’s melodrama, also well aware of the fact he’d been the one to send Baur away. Though now that Sebek thought about it… had it been intentional? Silver had known they were going to this ball as a couple, knew Sebek hadn’t told Baur yet, and if Baur had attended there was no way they could keep two facades up at once. Especially not with Kalim Al-Asim determined to speak to everyone.

He’d approach Baur, immediately realise he was Sebek’s relative, and immediately bring up how fantastic it was that Sebek was dating Silver. It didn’t seem like Silver had enough foresight for such a thing but… he wasn’t General Vanrouge for no reason. He hadn’t been surprised when Sebek had mentioned Kalim’s father and likely knew there was a chance for Kalim to show up in his stead. Though he had looked genuinely shocked to see him, and Silver wasn’t the kind of person to carry out something so underhanded. 

He’d likely tell Sebek to speak to Baur about it before the ball, so no one’s feelings got hurt.

“Oh nevermind me.” Lilia started up again, realising the two men in front of him weren’t the slightest bit choked up at the fact Baur was missing the ball—but thankfully Lilia didn’t seem to understand why that was the case. “You two should go dance! I saw your little practice space at home~ You should show off your moves to everyone.”

Silver had started to blush over that, and really Sebek had no idea why he seemed surprised. Their entire living room had been rearranged for about a month now, and Lilia had visited several times during that period. It was obvious why they’d moved the furniture, and Silver could genuinely be too oblivious sometimes.

Still, the hand in his tightened as Silver led him away from Lilia and into a spot in the ballroom. Malleus had caught sight of them from the dais, giving them a pleased nod in greeting even if Sebek still felt ashamed for missing his entrance. Silver had needed the space, and clearly it had worked as Silver seemed a lot more confident now. He fell into their starting position with ease, and with the next count of the music, they started to move.

Though it was a little difficult ignoring the eyes on them both and Sebek distracted himself by bringing up his previous thoughts.

“Did you send my grandfather away on purpose?” Sebek asked quietly, and the fact Silver looked at him in confusion answered his question immediately.

“No…? It was a diplomatic mission, and he’s spoken on wanting to visit his homeland again. Even though he’s part retired, Baur is still a skilled warrior, and exceptionally dedicated. His wealth of knowledge, and the fact I trust his judgement on this matter, meant he was the best person for me to recommend.” Silver’s explanation hadn’t been needed, and made perfect sense in hindsight, but the man smirked up at Sebek with quiet amusement. “Why? Do you think I’m some genius tactician?”

Yes. Sebek had immediately thought, but he refused to say that out loud. Especially when Silver was staring at him with that quiet smugness. Instead, he tugged him closer in their dance, Silver laughing sharply in response as Sebek tried to ignore his teasing.

“You, Sebek Zigvolt, believe me, the man who blew up a microwave, to be a genius. I never believed I would see the day.”

“A tactical genius. You’re still a moron.” Sebek grumbled under his breath, and Silver’s laughter bubbled up again. He laid his head comfortably against his chest.

“You’re not meant to be rude to me…” Silver had closed his eyes, trusting Sebek entirely to lead them in their waltz together, and for a moment Sebek feared he was going to fall asleep. “You should hold me tighter.”

Sebek felt his heart rate spiking again, the thudding in his ears making it difficult to think—especially when Silver opened his eyes and looked up at him softly. He looked so content there, smiling quietly, and Sebek wrapped his hand more around Silver’s waist.

They’d practiced dancing a lot, this should be second nature at this point, but something about Silver being pressed against him like this was dizzying. It felt intimate, Sebek’s hand holding his waist tighter, and he couldn’t think when Silver’s eyes fluttered closed in response.

It didn’t help that Silver was beautiful. The music swelled, and they wordlessly knew Silver should spin, so Sebek moved his arms to let him twirl. The sight stole the air from him. That silky hair lifting with the momentum, the cape shimmering under the ballroom lights, the way Silver moved with his eyes still closed but a gorgeous smile on his face—all of it left him breathless. Silver’s eyes opening when they stepped close together, Silver pressed against his chest with a flush of exertion, Silver’s gaze brightening when their eyes met, Silver, Silver—

“Kiss me.” Silver whispered, and Sebek did not need to be told a second time. 

Sebek leant down immediately, Silver tilting his head as their lips met, and Sebek felt drunk. He’d had less than a glass of wine, it certainly wasn’t the alcohol, but Silver felt just as intoxicating. A hand moved to his cheek, paradoxical in the way Silver’s hand was both soft and calloused, and Sebek leant into it. Their lips slotted together better that way, a breathy sound leaving Silver and a part of Sebek’s brain latched onto that noise immediately.

It made Silver feel so alive before him, this profound tenderness and patience, this overwhelming power and strength, all condensed into a single man. A shorter man, with long soft hair Sebek found his hand stroking through without thought. A man who smelt like flowers, and had the most supple lips, and Sebek couldn’t breathe for a moment. Didn’t think he was capable of it.

The hand on his cheek came to the nape of his neck, fingers brushing lightly and sending shivers down Sebek's spine, and when Silver gasped quietly against him it hadn't sounded uncomfortable. In fact Silver pressed closer, kissed him slowly and tenderly in return, and Sebek felt the tension in his lungs settle. Felt it calm further as Silver slowly pulled away.

Sebek opened his eyes to find Silver smiling fondly up at him, his gaze soft, his cheeks flushed, and Sebek suddenly wanted Silver to look like that always. Felt an ache in his chest as Silver just seemed to smile more, not a hint of discomfort, as he brought his hand back round to cup his cheek.

“I love you.” Silver whispered, and Sebek felt that ache grow as he leant down to press his forehead against Silver's.

“I love you too…” Sebek’s lungs burned as he spoke, no more than a whisper in return, and the world slowly started to fade back in around them.

The music was picking up again, so they should either keep dancing or move away. People had likely seen them kiss, which was a little mortifying in hindsight, but Sebek knew it would've looked convincing to everyone. Would've finally stopped any and all suspicion from people like Jamil, and that should've been a good thing. Should've left Sebek feeling overjoyed, but instead he'd never felt more concerned and nervous.

Because Sebek had felt a spark, and he had no idea what to do with that fact.

Chapter Text

They'd decided against doing another waltz, mostly because Silver had realised Sebek was clamming up, and so he directed them both to the side of the ballroom. It didn't help, as Silver was practically latched to his arm, and all Sebek could think about was every point of contact between them both.

“Maybe…” Silver had started gently, still trying to come up with a solution to Sebek's discomfort without realising he was the cause of it. Well, he wasn't the cause, this wasn't Silver's fault, but Sebek was failing to ignore how he'd felt for the other man.

It would just be the moment. The romantic atmosphere. That smile— “Hey… Do you need us to go outside?”

‘Us’ again. Sebek thought, his heart lurching violently, I need to get away from you, Silver.

The concern in Silver's expression only grew, the man stepping closer and Sebek feared Silver would hear his heartbeat. “If outside isn't helpful, what about Malleus? We can go and say hello.”

Malleus would work as an escape from this, Sebek latching onto that idea immediately, and he nodded almost a little frantic. That at least settled some of Silver's concern, the man smiling gently, and just making the fluttering in Sebek's chest worse. They'd approached the dais, the guards letting them through with a respectful bow, and Sebek realised how this would look.

Someone as regal as Silver, still affectionately holding his arm, leading them up the stairs to speak to the crown prince. They'd look like something straight out of a fairytale, or at least Silver would, and of course they would turn heads. Malleus being one of them, their liege turning and his expression growing fond as he smiled and beckoned them closer.

“Y— You look magnificent, my liege!!” Sebek had at least managed to find his voice, now he was before the visage of Malleus Draconia, but it was still a struggle. Silver just gave him an encouraging squeeze of his arm, but really that just reminded Sebek of the fact their hips were pressed against each other.

Why was Silver so close all of a sudden? Or had he always been this close and Sebek hadn't realised? He had no idea what to do.

“Thank you for inviting us both!! Lord Malleus, this ball is a delight, a– a testament to your greatness!” He was acting strange, he knew he was acting strange, but Malleus just smiled fondly and spoke like nothing was wrong. Like Sebek's entire worldview wasn't currently collapsing around him.

“I must thank you both for attending, and I must say your matching outfits are rather dashing.” A compliment from Malleus should've sent Sebek to the afterlife, should've been the greatest honour of that entire evening, but instead he felt adrift. Maybe it was because they were being complimented together, their matching outfits designed to impress, but Sebek knew better. It was because Malleus was complimenting Silver, and it reminded Sebek of just how beautiful the man beside him was.

“Thank you, Lord Malleus. I'm glad you think so, as Sebek certainly looks handsome in his.” Silver spoke up quietly, his head casually moving to lean against Sebek's shoulder, and he felt himself flush scarlet. His mind was reeling over the compliment, but he reminded himself Silver had said that before. Had chastised him for not complimenting him back. He couldn't get stuck in his thoughts again.

Though he still felt oddly indignant when he finally spoke up.

“You think I look handsome?! Silver, you are positively radiant right now!!” Sebek was perhaps a little too loud, and when he realised his words he felt his flush growing worse because he hadn't meant for that to slip out. Though both Silver and Malleus smiled at his words, and Silver squeezed his arm again in reassurance. As horrific as his current predicament was, it… did make it easier to pretend. If he could even call it that right now.

“I shan't keep you much longer.” Malleus spoke up, pulling Sebek from his flustered thoughts. “I wish for you both to enjoy the evening without concern, although…” When Malleus looked back over at the ballroom, Sebek felt a tension form in his chest because he had no clue what was concerning his liege. It could be anything from a threat on his life to him suspecting their odd behaviour, and by the time he spoke up Sebek had almost stopped breathing.

“Perhaps keep an eye on Lilia. I had not realised an old school acquaintance would excite him so, and I fear him causing some mischief.” Silver had laughed softly at that, and Malleus' expression warmed as well—his concerns hadn't been serious ones, just light-hearted like the celebration.

“Of course, my liege. Though I'm not certain if I can stop Kalim himself. He might be a foe too powerful for us all.” The blunt humour from Silver had brought bright, sonorous laughter from Malleus—the sound making Sebek's heart leap with joy—but a small part of him felt it was lacking somewhat. It wasn't Silver's laughter.

This was an issue.

“I-If you will excuse us, my liege.” Sebek had managed to speak up, though the stammer that still clung to him clearly caught Silver's attention—the man rubbing his arm reassuringly. Malleus dismissed them, and Sebek made a note to return before they left in order to thank Malleus properly for the evening.

Though as they walked down the stairs, Silver spoke in such a quiet whisper even Sebek struggled to hear him. “I'm going to lead us both outside, ok? You're worrying me…” A disappointment filled Sebek, realising he was hassling Silver with this, but he also knew Silver wasn't annoyed with him. He looked concerned, genuinely so, and once they were outside he carefully led Sebek over to the stone railings.

It was already so much better out here, Sebek taking several steadying breaths as Silver moved to rub gently along his back. That wasn't helping, even if Sebek appreciated the support as he braced himself against the railings.

“Are you ok…?” Silver asked quietly, and Sebek felt the wall he'd been frantically building around his heart collapse at the disarming way Silver looked at him. At how worried he looked. “Was… um…”

There was a quiet misery on Silver's face, the man looking away as a weight seemed to settle over him, and Sebek immediately didn't like that. Silver shouldn't  look so upset, so exhausted, when he'd been beaming for the past thirty minutes. “Was the kiss too much…?”

Sebek should've been asking Silver that.

“No!! No, of course not, I— Was it too much for you?” Sebek was baffled when Silver seemed relieved, and looked back with a quiet affection that immediately caused Sebek's stomach to flip. This man was dangerous, his quiet expressions too overwhelming, and Sebek didn't know how he would survive this.

“Were you just worried about me?” Silver's voice was soft, and gentle, and when he shuffled closer to press his head against his shoulder, Sebek felt dizzy. “It was fine, Sebek. Don't worry about me. It… It was nice.”

…nice?

“Yeah…” Silver responded, moving to idly play with Sebek's fingers in their joined hands (Sebek hadn't felt him take hold of his, it had become that natural), and Sebek realised he'd spoken his thoughts out loud without noticing. “I found dancing with you fun, Sebek. If you were feeling better, I'd ask to dance with you again, but… I don't want to pressure you. I don't like you being so worried.”

“I'm not worried.” Sebek spoke, feeling calmer simply because he was reassuring Silver. He squeezed Silver's hand, and watched as the other man closed his eyes with fatigue.

“Then what's upsetting you…? I'd thought… Well, we both seemed to be having fun together, and then you suddenly clammed up after that kiss.” Of course Silver would notice, he was far too aware of Sebek's emotions, and that fact was partly to blame for Silver taking ill in the first place.

“It's just stress…” Sebek sighed, knowing full well he couldn't tell Silver the truth, and the fact he was lying twisted something deep inside him. Would Silver know? Shutting him out at this point felt wrong, felt like it would be obvious, and when Silver moved away from Sebek's shoulder he feared he knew — but it had been with a quiet sound of contemplation.

“What do you want to do? We've shown our faces. If you wanted, we could head home…” That idea filled Sebek with regret, as they'd barely been here. “We could stay out here a little longer, or go get something to eat? I imagine finding my father won't help, but we could do so if you wanted?”

There was a lot of choice suddenly, and Sebek almost wanted Silver to be firm with him again. To give him only one option so that he couldn't overthink it. Silver squeezed his hand, before continuing. “We could dance again? Or even attempt la volta but, well…”

Silver chuckled, the soft sound settling heavy in Sebek's stomach. “I promise I won't nearly break my foot this time.”

Sebek had snorted at that. “I’m not sure you can make that promise. It was my fault for practically chucking you at a wall…”

“It was the flat’s fault for being too small, that's all.” The quiet reassurance was helping, even if Silver's presence had been the cause of his instability.

Another squeeze came to his hand, followed by a gentle tug. “If you're feeling better, we can go get another drink—I didn't actually have much of that glass…”

Sebek shook his head with a laugh of disbelief. “Because you hated it! If you want a drink, at least pick something you like!”

“We can get another drink.” Silver repeated himself, acting like he hadn't heard Sebek at all and he knew the man would likely grab another glass of that wine out of stubbornness. “And mingle until a volta starts, then.”

It was sound logic, and Sebek felt more relieved by the end of the conversation. Talking with Silver always settled the nerves in his chest, made the man before him look less like this ethereal being he wasn't allowed to be near and more like his best friend he enjoyed spending time with. Smiling, Sebek squeezed Silver's hand in return and nodded towards the ballroom.

“A sound plan. Lead on.”

—

To Sebek's surprise, Silver didn't get the same wine he didn't like, but instead found a seasonal mead to sip on instead. Sebek had a weak spot for honey—he did with most sweet things, but honey was particularly wonderful—so they'd both grabbed a glass each because Sebek knew he couldn't share. They'd picked at a couple things at the buffet, spoke with some of the kitchen staff Silver knew, before finding a quiet spot to watch the dancers until the music changed.

People had come over to them, complimenting their outfits, sometimes asking how long they'd been together for, before wandering off again. It was surprisingly easy to speak with them, even if Silver had eventually fallen asleep against him. Luckily it hadn't been impossible to wake him for once, considering Sebek had only disturbed him because a volta was starting up.

Silver had sleepily gone to rub at his eyes, but Sebek had managed to snatch his hand away even if it just served to confuse the man who was still waking up. “You'll ruin your make-up. We've still got time before the dance will start, so don't rush.”

Those words made Silver nod tiredly, but he was slowly growing more and more coherent before he eventually gave Sebek a warm smile. The sight of it made Sebek's stomach flip, and he realised the problem might not have entirely passed.

“Thank you. We should find a place before it gets too crowded.” Silver spoke quietly, and Sebek didn't think it'd be too busy so early into the ball. People often needed more alcohol for this dance, as it could feel a little silly at first, but Sebek had honestly found practicing with Silver to be fun.

Ignoring Silver kicking the wall. Or trying to work out the hopping movements between lifts.

They'd not really worked that out well at all, but they held hands and found a space where they shouldn't get in anyone's way. Sebek was at least more confident with the foot movements, but Silver had a better posture, which likely made them look like an odd pair. Still, it was as fun now as it had been before, even if Silver made a noise of frustration part-way into the dance.

“I can never do that one.” Silver muttered to himself when they turned and started to hop and kick whilst facing each other, and honestly Sebek got nervous at this part. As Silver was still clumsy with his movements and the last thing Sebek wanted was to be kicked or cause the pair of them to trip over, but Sebek found himself smiling despite it all.

Silver looked like he was having so much fun, his cape and hair bouncing with each little hop, and really this was a very old-fashioned dance. He caught sight of Kalim excitedly waving at them both when they turned again, the man hopping at the side as though trying to pick up the dance moves to join in. Though without a partner he wouldn't get far, and Jamil wasn't even looking at the dancefloor and seemed adamant he would never be dragged out there.

It was his loss, as even if it looked silly, it was light-hearted and amusing, and when Silver stepped closer Sebek was drawn back to the present.

This still made him nervous. Silver wasn't facing him fully, his left arm around Sebek's shoulders—which was immediately out of sync with the other dancers, but they didn't exactly care. They'd swiftly learnt Silver couldn't be spun in the other direction as it hurt too much, and people would just have to accept that. 

Silver's hip was pressed into Sebek's front, and the half-fae had to embrace Silver around the waist with both arms. It felt suddenly scandalous, and he could see immediately why this was considered a couple's dance. It hadn't felt this way when they'd practiced, likely because of the incident with the wall, but the atmosphere was completely different now.

It really didn't help that Silver was beautiful.

His hands tightened around Silver's waist when the man jumped, and when Sebek lifted Silver further into the air—the man’s posture flawless like a swooping bird—he was surprised by the quiet giggle that followed. They had several lifts to do before Sebek could ask, but the giggles just grew—Silver’s face growing flushed with what was likely a quiet embarrassment.

“Are… Are you ticklish?” Sebek asked once they were back to their closed dancing, his hand still tight around Silver's waist. The man shook his head a little bit too adamantly.

“N-No! I'm not ticklish.”

“That's really not convincing.” Sebek moved his hand along Silver's side, the man stiffening in the process. “I can't believe I never knew you were ticklish.”

“I'm not ticklish, Sebek.” Silver was adamant about this, and even though he was turned away from Sebek in the dance, he could imagine his expression. Could imagine his flush and frustrated pout, and he couldn't be more adorable.

…He also needed to stop thinking that, as it didn't help when Silver moved back. Sebek's hand fumbled around his waist for a moment, which likely looked like he was trying to tickle Silver instead of the reality that he was suddenly flustered about holding his waist. “I mean it, Sebek! Stop trying to tickle me!”

There was clear amusement in Silver’s voice, however, and the sound soothed his nerves. Allowed him to hold Silver firmly and lift him in time to the music. Those giggles started up again, and honestly if Silver wasn't ticklish (which he certainly was), then Sebek had absolutely no idea what was so amusing.

He certainly wasn't going to complain. Silver looked euphoric, the gleeful laughter stealing Sebek's attention—but it was quiet enough that it only stole Sebek's attention—and the joy on his face was mesmerising. Considering how pale and stressed he'd looked weeks ago, seeing his eyes crinkle with mirth and that gorgeous smile as he lifted Silver into the air, was everything Sebek could have asked for.

His hair caught the light, glittering (as uninspiring as that adjective was, it was the truth) in the space between them. Silver truly looked like a songbird, weightless and effortless in his beauty, and Sebek knew he was ruined. There was no way his heart would survive this, not when Silver was pressed so comfortably against him even when his feet were steady on the ground.

Although there was a chance it was the atmosphere. It was the live music, the ballroom lighting, Silver's outfit, the glass of mead even if Sebek knew he wasn't tipsy. Anything but the reality that Sebek's feelings had suddenly changed.

Or acknowledging that the change hadn't been sudden.

—

They’d maybe had a little too much to drink by the end of the night, Sebek wasn’t sure why or when they’d grabbed more mead only that they had, and Silver had started to lean on him more than stand upright as the night went on. Well, he’d been doing that for hours, but it had slowly become apparent it had become more of a necessity than a desire by the time Lilia had caught them giggling to each other over a tray of mini quiches. Where Silver had gotten the tray from, Sebek also didn’t know, but he was certainly aware he’d eaten most of them himself.

“Maybe you two should get yourselves to bed.” Lilia had advised, resulting in Silver giggling again. To be fair to him, Sebek wasn't much better, moving to eat another quiche before reluctantly handing the tray over when Lilia gestured for it.

“I suppose you're right, Master Lilia… I have had quite enough cheese and egg for one evening.”

Silver giggled again. “Yet you literally just crammed one in before giving them up.”

Sebek elbowed him, which set off even more of those giggles. “That was the line, Silver! I have restraint.” Another giggle left the man at his side, Silver half nuzzling his shoulder, before he grinned up at him with far too much amusement in his gaze.

“You had like— like sixteen of them, Sebek. That's— That's not restraint.”

“Yes it is! They're mini quiches! Also you're the one who stole the platter!!”

That giggling grew worse, and Lilia placed a hand on both of their shoulders. “Ok, boys, really you should both go home before a good night becomes a bad one, ok?”

There wasn't really a risk of that, at least Sebek didn't think there was, considering they'd both stopped drinking a while ago. Honestly the quiche was probably helping to sober them both up, but Lilia did have a point. Fatigue would likely hit them both suddenly, and one of them would be unable to power through it long enough to get home. Sebek was certain he would not be able to carry Silver right now, at least not without one or both of them getting injured.

Surprisingly, Silver acquiesced to Lilia's suggestion. He'd honestly expected him to be stubborn about it.

“You're right, father. We should remove Sebek from the food before he becomes an actual quiche.” Silver was giggling to himself over his—quite terrible—joke, and Sebek managed to stop himself from taking the bait as well. Silver hadn't been subtle about his teasing, blinking innocently up at Sebek, and the man just grumbled in response.

“I'll get him home, Master Lilia. Please give my regards to Lord Malleus for the spectacular ball.” Sebek spoke, wrapping an arm around Silver in the process when the man sagged more against him. “I would have liked to thank him in person, but, as you can see I have… this to deal with.”

“I have a name,” Silver muttered under his breath, his eyes having slid closed with the inevitable fatigue Sebek had hoped to avoid, “and you also love dealing with me…”

A fond sigh left Sebek as he squeezed Silver's side and tried to tug him to stand upright. “That may be so, but I'd prefer it if you could walk.”

Those words made Silver grumble, the man tired and stubborn, but despite his complaints he moved to stand upright. He turned to face Lilia rather sharply, leaned forwards to press a slightly wet kiss on his father's cheek, before he mumbled sleepily. “I love you father. I really enjoyed myself tonight.”

Lilia chuckled fondly, moving to ruffle Silver's hair. “And I love you too, Silver. Now, Sebek, do look after my son. I'm relying on you right now!” Another hand came to ruffle Sebek's own hair, and if they weren't leaving he'd have been immediately furious that his hairstyle was being messed up. He still swatted at Lilia's hand in annoyance.

“He's not that drunk!! And we're barely walking a mile.” Sebek grumbled, tugging Silver back when it looked like he'd been about to lay his head on Lilia's shoulder for a nap. A rather childish whine left him, Silver going to rub at his face before Sebek stopped him from once again trying to ruin his makeup—which just made him whine more.

“Who cares if I smudge my makeup at this point?” Silver leered tiredly at Sebek, who leered back in response.

“I do! It's beautiful and I wish to admire it as long as I can.” Those words had caused Silver to blink at him, surprisingly a little more awake because of them, as Sebek watched his cheeks darken. Silver moved to grab Sebek's hand, an odd mix between annoyance and affection in his gaze; he'd clearly enjoyed the compliment, but was annoyed by that fact as he tugged at Sebek.

“Ok, fine, let's just get going already before I actually fall asleep and we have to stay here overnight.”

That was an exceptionally valid point, and Sebek followed after without complaint. They'd been stopped a couple times on their way out, saying their farewells to others in attendance, and by the time they'd left the castle grounds Silver was half-pressed against him again. It made walking a little difficult, but Sebek surprisingly didn't mind it so much. Silver was warm, and it helped ease the chill of the autumnal night air.

Plus, Sebek had to admit he just liked Silver being near. Now they were alone, all his attention was taken up by the silver hair cascading against his shoulder, by the warm breath ghosting against his neck, and by the gentle hand in his own.

Though about part-way through their short journey, Silver stopped walking.

“Hey… What about a walk through the park?” Silver perked up, no longer as sagged against Sebek's side, before he beamed up at him. His smile was dangerous, perhaps the most enchanting sight in all of Twisted Wonderland, and Sebek was weak to it. “It's a wonderful night for it.”

It most certainly is… Sebek thought blissfully to himself, his own warm smile reflected in Silver's ever-softening gaze. He looked so beautiful, so pleased to be at Sebek's side, and it did unfathomable things to Sebek's heart.

“A short walk. I made a promise to get you home.” Sebek spoke, and Silver's smile grew fonder—his head returning to Sebek's shoulder as they started to walk.

“You'll get me home. My knight in shining armour will keep me safe, no matter what.” Silver's voice was soft, the tone slightly teasing, and Sebek just snorted quietly.

“I may be a knight, but I am very much sans armour right now.”

“True… and our armour struggles to shine. A man can dream, however.” Silver closed his eyes, smiling gently to himself as they walked in a comfortable silence together. It took several moments for Silver to reopen his eyes, the man looking up at Sebek with an expression that was hard to read, but it left him feeling warm. “This is nice…”

There was something about that expression, a quiet yearning in it that left Sebek dizzy, and he moved to wet his lips. Silver’s attention had latched onto the movement, but Sebek was distracted by the sight of the moon reflected in Silver’s bewitching eyes. The man before him truly looked like he’d been spun from stardust, the moonlight lighting those eyes up like a prism. Even if he tried there would be no real way to count every individual colour, nevermind finding new names for the ones that didn’t exist anywhere else.

He hadn’t realised they’d stopped walking until Silver spoke up.

“I just want to stay like this all night…” Silver mumbled into the quiet space between them both, and Sebek felt a warmth settle low in his chest. That would be wonderful, the pair of them disappearing into the serene autumn night together. Maybe they’d return, maybe they wouldn’t but all that mattered was the fact they were at each other’s side. Squeezing Silver’s side, Sebek watched those eyes flutter shut, those long silver lashes lightly caressing his cheeks. There was a quiet inhale from Silver, the man holding his breath for a moment afterwards, before he exhaled on his name. “Sebek…”

“Hm?”

Silver’s lips moved soundlessly for a moment, Sebek leaning forwards slightly as though he’d be able to hear what he was trying to say, before he exhaled a second time. “I’m tired.”

That hadn’t been what Sebek had expected, watching Silver’s mood shift suddenly as he spoke. He’d seemed so carefree a moment ago, but now he seemed exhausted and Sebek wasn’t sure it could entirely be blamed on a drowsy spell. Squeezing Silver’s side, Sebek directed them back to their apartment. The walk home felt oddly weighted, Silver having grown quiet even if he still clung to Sebek’s side. Sebek was honestly amazed he was still awake. He had no idea what time it was, after all, but it was certainly past Silver’s regular bedtime.

Once they’d settled into the quiet air of their apartment, however, Sebek was surprised Silver moved to sit on the sofa instead of heading straight to bed. He sat removing his cloak and jacket, followed by his boots, before leaning back heavily as though moving would be an arduous task. Sebek had removed his own cloak and jacket, both being hung up properly instead of being thrown over the coffee table, before he moved to sit beside Silver to take his own boots off.

“You should get yourself to bed, Silver. I can bring you some water.” Sebek had mumbled whilst he undid his laces, letting out a small sound of relief when the restrictive leather was finally removed.

“Could…” When Sebek looked up at Silver’s quiet voice, he hadn’t expected him to look so… sad. It squeezed his chest, Sebek shifting closer with a subconscious need to comfort him, but Silver instead just looked away.

That wasn’t allowed, Sebek cupping his cheek to direct his gaze back to him. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

Silver didn’t say anything, his gaze shifting to avoid meeting Sebek’s own, before he timidly moved forwards to press a light kiss to the corner of his mouth. The scent of Silver’s floral soap still clung to him, muddied with the sticky scent of honey, and Sebek tilted his head to press his lips firmly against Silver’s in return. The shorter man sagged against him, exhaling sharply and wrapping his arms around his neck in a loose embrace. Hands moved to his hair, twitching with a brief hesitation—maybe he was afraid of messing up Sebek’s hair—before they lost themselves in the green locks with a quiet desperation.

The knot his chest had been tying itself into all evening unravelled, and Sebek felt his hands hold tightly onto Silver’s thin waist. It was impossible not to tug the man closer to him. He was so warm, and firm, and Sebek couldn’t believe he could kiss him. Silver pressed more into the kiss in return, his lips moving clumsily but eagerly, and Sebek just felt more determined to keep kissing him.

Though Silver’s lips were starting to slow, his hands were growing sluggish, and Sebek reluctantly came back to reality. It was late, and he needed to get Silver to bed before he succumbed to his sleep. 

Eventually Sebek pulled back, Silver’s eyes remaining closed as he quietly caught his breath.

“I don’t want to go to bed…” There was a tight edge to Silver’s voice, and Sebek shook his head gently. “I don’t want this night to end…”

“Silver… We can’t stay awake forever. You need to rest.” Sebek spoke softly, trying to be reassuring, but Silver just frowned. His eyes opened reluctantly and struggled to focus fully with how close they both were to each other.

“But I…” Silver’s gaze drifted tiredly, before he reluctantly nodded after a moment. Only to slump forwards, immediately asleep.

Sebek suddenly didn’t know what to do with the unconscious man flopped in his lap. There was no way he could lift him in his current state, Sebek pinching the bridge of his nose, before figuring he’d get Silver situated on the sofa. Carefully he shifted him to lay down properly, his feet hanging slightly off the edge, before he moved to grab Silver’s quilt from his room.

That floral scent was distracting again as it clung to the fabric, and it took several moments before Sebek realised he was half-nuzzling Silver’s quilt in his empty bedroom. A flush of mortification rushed through him, the man beyond thankful his friend was asleep on the sofa, as he fled the room to lay the quilt over Silver’s prone form. He fussed with it a moment, trying to make it comfortable as he adjusted some of the sofa cushions, before he wondered just what he was doing.

He realised he was reluctant to leave Silver’s side suddenly, and maybe that strange weight in his chest was felt by Silver as well—explaining his clear reluctance to leave him. The ball’s atmosphere had clearly driven them both silly, especially if they’d spent far too much time giggling over a tray of mini quiches.

Still, Sebek found himself smiling fondly over the memory of it all and, possessed by that same madness, moved to press a gentle kiss to Silver’s temple before wishing him a good night. It felt wonderful doing such a thing, his insides sparking with joy, and it felt just as good when he left Silver a glass of water and headed off to his own room.

He’d briefly entertained the idea of crawling onto the sofa beside Silver, like their childhood sleepovers, but they were both a lot bigger than they used to be and he refused to be swept up in the whimsy any longer.

Chapter Text

Waking up the next morning instantly felt like a regret, for so many reasons. The light streaming in from his bedroom window was immediately too obnoxious, Sebek wishing he could blot out the entire sun, and it certainly wasn’t helping his headache. His mouth felt like it was full of cotton, and when Sebek reluctantly accepted he was awake and too uncomfortable to get back to sleep, he realised he’d fallen asleep in his ball outfit. At least he’d taken off his boots and jacket, but he could barely remember doing those things. 

All he could remember was Silver, and a weight settled in his lungs. His bright smile had burned itself into his mind, the warmth of the man pressed against his side felt like a phantom, and he could still taste his lips… Granted, that was likely the mead they’d both drunk, but Sebek’s thoughts were spiralling.

What kind of spell had Silver put him under? What had happened for him to suddenly feel this way?

Trying to work that out whilst his head was throbbing and he was in desperate need of a drink wouldn’t get him anywhere, so Sebek reluctantly made his way out of his room only to be reminded Silver was sleeping in the living room. He’d stiffened when he saw him, Silver’s hair falling out of his tie and his face damp with drool, and yet some part of his chest fluttered at the sight. His makeup was finally smudged, he was also in his own rumpled clothes, and yet somehow he was still beautiful.

Sebek shoved those thoughts down, making his way straight to the kitchen to start brewing himself a cup of coffee. This was ridiculous. He couldn’t hide from Silver in their flat, there weren’t enough rooms to even attempt that, and Silver would immediately notice something was up. Maybe he already knew something was wrong, seeing as Sebek hadn’t exactly acted normal towards the end of the evening, and he could’ve groaned when he remembered tugging Silver close to him on the sofa.

The feeling of the man’s waist between his hands was going to haunt him all day, wasn’t it?

Moving to fill his mug, it wasn’t until he was done pouring that he realised he’d habitually made enough coffee for Silver as well. If he left it in the press, it would get way too overbrewed even Silver wouldn’t drink it, so he poured it into another mug for Silver to have when he eventually awoke. As he sipped his own coffee, Sebek desperately tried not to think about the previous night, but it was impossible. He could hear Silver’s laughter fluttering in his ears, could remember how his heart raced as they danced together, and Sebek sat at the kitchen table with a growing weight on his shoulders. He let out a long, tired sigh.

This was utterly terrible. He felt terrible. These lingering memories and emotions from the previous night were like a ghost, incorporeal and yet still leaving him chilled when he attempted to touch them. When he even tried to acknowledge them. Maybe he shouldn’t think about this yet, not until he’d had a shower and changed into fresh clothes, and Sebek quickly finished his own coffee before heading back through with Silver’s mug.

Seeing him again left him feeling shaken, remembering the fond way in which Silver had been looking up at him all night, and Sebek felt his heart constricting. He needed to stop thinking and, leaving the mug and a pack of painkillers on the coffee table, Sebek was surprised to see Silver had at some point drunk the glass of water he’d left him. The strange twisting sensation he felt in his gut was disorienting, and Sebek swiftly moved to grab a shower.

It was still impossible keeping his thoughts away from Silver, especially when he had nothing else to do but re-evaluate every single action he’d carried out over a period of four hours. Four hours, and he might’ve ruined a twenty year old friendship. There was no way he hadn’t made Silver uncomfortable.

When he’d left the bathroom and Silver was no longer bundled on the sofa, Sebek was at least relieved he wouldn’t have to face him, but he also felt weary. At least Silver had drunk the coffee, and had likely just gone back to his room to sleep on a proper bed for a while. It was early, after all, and Sebek was half-tempted to sleep himself even if he knew he wouldn’t manage it.

So instead he changed and kept himself busy with simple chores around the house, thankful his own hangover had mostly passed in the shower, but Silver was still barricaded in his room several hours later. 

He hadn't eaten anything yet, or emerged to take his own shower, and Sebek was concerned he wasn't feeling well. After all, Silver had gotten more drunk than he had, and the idea of him suffering alone under a bundle of blankets left Sebek feeling unsteady. Yet knocking on Silver's door felt…

Impossible.

Sebek's throat had constricted at the idea of doing such a thing, of opening the door and Silver immediately demanding he leave. Maybe he was hiding away because he didn't want to see him, and Sebek was terrified his actions the previous night had upset him. That last kiss on the sofa had been caused by Silver, sure, but Sebek had deepened it. Sebek had pulled Silver closer, had wanted to push him back against the sofa, had wanted to maybe keep…

His face was burning, his insides sharp with guilt and his eyes glassy with tears, and Sebek didn't know what to do. The idea of Silver screaming at him was too much for him right now, so he instead sat by the door to Silver's room. Maybe if he listened carefully he could hear if Silver was simply just sleeping off the hangover, or was actually upset and needed help, but he couldn't hear a thing.

Sitting there left him feeling trapped as Sebek moved to hug his legs, his damp hair obscuring his vision, and he pressed his face against his knees. What did he even want right now? Last night he'd wanted Silver, but was that still the case? Was it simply the magic of the ball, warping how he felt for his best friend, or…

Had he truly fallen in love with him?

That was terrible if so, Sebek feeling the sharp pain in his chest multiplying, so instead he decided to block it out for now. He couldn't put any of this on Silver when he wasn't sure if it was anything more than a silly crush from a romantic evening. Everything had felt like a dream, like he'd been transported straight into one of his romance novels, with a dazzling prince before him.

It didn't help that Silver was a prince, technically.

Sebek closed his eyes when he felt them start to sting, and he wanted this to end. He just had to ignore it and it'd eventually go away, and everything would go back to normal. Silver would still be his best friend, would still want to spend time with him, and that's all Sebek wanted. All he needed. He didn't need Silver as a lover. He wasn't in love with Silver.

A hand on his shoulder suddenly startled him awake, and Sebek blinked around blearily when he realised he must've drifted off without realising. The room was brighter, which didn't help his headache, but it made it clear he must've been sitting there a while before Silver came and woke him.

He must've missed the soft click of Silver's door opening, and the man pulled his hand back with a look of concern as he knelt in front of him. “Are you alright? It's an odd sight seeing you asleep somewhere strange.” Silver’s long hair was loose, and messy, and Sebek immediately wanted to run his fingers through it to neaten those strands. 

Blinking, Sebek rubbed at his face before nodding. “I'm good… I suspect the fatigue from last night caught up with me.”

Another lie, Sebek feeling his chest burn with the words, but what else was he meant to say? That he'd sat down outside Silver's room because he was worried, and then fell asleep because he'd been worrying over him for that long? Those words were both embarrassing and completely ludicrous, made him out to be some overly loyal guard dog, and it would lead to a conversation Sebek couldn't face right now.

The concern hadn't left Silver's face at all. He moved to sit against the opposite wall, their feet almost touching in the narrow hallway, before he nervously fussed with his hair. “Last night… Um. It…” 

There had been the smallest of timid smiles on Silver's face, but it had gone unnoticed and had dropped the second Sebek spoke up with his worries. “It was a lot, I know, I got too swept up in the night and our pretend roles, and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” 

Silver was quiet for a moment, looking away with an expression Sebek couldn't read, and that was happening more often. Usually he could read Silver like a book, the man's subtle expressions so obviously sharing how he felt, but something had changed. There was a wall there, and Sebek couldn't look over it anymore. “Yeah… We got swept up.”

Hearing Silver say that stung, even if he was just parroting Sebek's own words. Something felt heavy, and final, and he still couldn't read Silver's expression besides the man looking suddenly tired. Slowly he stood up, wordlessly heading into the bathroom, and something felt wrong when Silver closed the door behind him. Every inch of him was screaming he needed to move, to do something, but do what?  

If this was another anxious episode, Sebek wanted it to end already.

Moving to grab himself a glass of water, Sebek settled down in an armchair with his book in the hopes this anxiety would fade. It did, somewhat, but immediately resurfaced the second Silver left the bathroom, his wet hair almost translucent as he dried it with a towel.

Silver headed back into his room, wordless and without sparing a glance towards Sebek, and that uncomfortable feeling grew. He again wanted to go and speak to him, but he had no idea what to say. Instead he patiently waited for Silver to leave his room again, attempting to read his book in the meantime, but Silver remained there all day until it grew close to dinnertime—and he'd barely managed a couple chapters of his book.

Normally he'd have finished it in that amount of time.

“We're having that pork, right?” Silver asked, making his way into the kitchen—again without giving Sebek a second glance—and he felt sick. It took far too much effort to stand, and even more to follow him into the kitchen. Or at least most of the way into the kitchen, Sebek was still stuck in the doorway.

Silver was simply moving around grabbing ingredients they’d bought together for dinner, some oil heating on the stovetop, but he still wasn’t looking at him. Still wasn’t talking. Not that Sebek had started a conversation either, but usually they’d talk about anything and everything whilst cooking together on an evening. If nothing was wrong, Silver would be teasing him about eating far too many mini quiches—a reality Sebek’s stomach kept intermittently reminding him about—and they’d get into a teasing discussion about the previous night.

They’d talk about Silver refusing to stand upright on his own, essentially on purpose, and Sebek would eventually ask just how Silver had managed to get the platter of quiches on his own. It would likely be a mundane explanation, Silver simply asking for it and being given it—because who refused a polite request from such a well-meaning and kind individual like the general of the right?—instead of the ludicrous idea Silver had somehow spirited the entire platter away without anyone realising.

But that wasn’t happening. Instead it was silent beyond the sound of meat sizzling in the pan, and Sebek’s anxiety finally brought him forwards. He couldn’t lose his best friend over this, and he moved to embrace him perhaps a little too desperately from behind.

“Whatever’s wrong, I'm sorry for causing it.” Sebek spoke in a rushed exhale, pressing his face into Silver's hair as his arms tightened around the man's chest. He was so warm, and firm, and the scent of that floral soap settled the anxiety bubbling in his chest. Or that could've been the gentle hand that came up to hold one of his arms.

“You've not done anything, Sebek.” Silver spoke softly, his gentle voice vibrating against Sebek's chest. A quiet laugh followed, the sound leaving Sebek dizzy. “Unless I can blame you for letting me drink too much…? I've been fighting a headache all day.”

That… explained everything, actually. Silver wasn't hiding in his room because he was upset, he was likely trying to smother himself with his quilt to make the room as dark as possible. It explained why he left so suddenly around dinnertime, not only because he felt obligated to cook, but because the sun had finally gone down.

The relief was heady, Sebek practically sagging against Silver as he held him tighter for a brief moment, before pulling away entirely. “Go grab a glass of water, idiot, and sit down. I can cook.”

“It's my turn to cook.”

“Yes, but I don't feel like my head is splitting in two.” For a moment, Sebek feared he'd have to try and wrestle Silver out of the kitchen, which would never work in a million years. But Silver relented with a sigh, a slightly fond smile on his face, though when he leant forwards Sebek felt his breath catch.

He'd pressed a soft kiss to Sebek's lips, pulling back with that same quiet smile, and Sebek suddenly couldn't hear past his thundering heartbeat. Silver's timid kiss from the previous night came back to haunt him, the feeling of his waist, and Sebek couldn't breathe.

“Thanks, Sebek. I'll go do that.” He sounded completely normal, like he hadn't just short-circuited Sebek's entire system, and he figured Silver was just continuing with their practicing like always. Like Sebek’s world wasn’t far too fragile for such a thing right now.

“Do– Do we still need to keep practicing in private?” Sebek had managed to stutter out, his face flushed, and Silver tilted his head in question even if his expression hadn’t changed at all. It made him look amused, and fond, and Sebek’s heart was lurching at the sight.

“I don't see why not. We’re going to encounter other situations, after all. It wasn’t just preparation for the ball.” Of course Silver was right, his clear and simple pragmatism fuelling everything he ever did, but Sebek didn’t know if he could handle it. Clearly his distress had been picked up on, as Silver stepped closer and gently held his hand. “Unless… it’s too much? I don’t want to upset you.”

Compared to last time, when it had been a hard line between practicing constantly or admitting to the truth, this softer edge was disorienting. Left him unsteady, and that hand squeezed his tighter. “Sebek…?”

“It’s— It’s not too much!”

Silver clearly wanted to ask him what was wrong, the man worrying his lip slightly, but Sebek had grown distracted by the sight and maybe stared a bit too intently at his lips. It hadn’t been missed, the tip of Silver’s tongue moving to idly wet his lips, and Sebek felt lost. Felt enspelled by such a simple act, and it took all his willpower to look away and focus on the cooking. His abrupt change had clearly caught Silver off guard.

“Uhm. Sure. Well if it’s not too much I’ll…” Silver seemed flustered for a moment, the sight almost amusing if it had been under any other circumstances, “I’ll be in the living room, dear.”

The pet name Silver had clung to for weeks was both a relief and a nightmare to hear, and when Sebek could only hum in response—he felt too unsteady to verbalise anything—Silver moved to grab himself some water before quietly leaving. Sebek knew he was making things weird, but he didn’t know what to do. He just had to keep ignoring this until it went away, even if none of his problems so far had done so by simply ignoring them. 

They’d just gotten worse, and Sebek had to admit he didn’t want this problem to get worse. As the end result could be losing Silver forever, and Sebek forced himself to focus on cooking instead of the panic threatening to grip his chest.

—

Despite his best attempts to ignore everything, it was becoming painfully clear it hadn't just been the ball.

Sebek was completely, and utterly, besotted—and was trying desperately to convince himself otherwise.

Every morning Silver would give him a fond kiss, asking him if he slept well, and Sebek wanted to pass out. They would grab a coffee on the way to work, their joined hands idly swinging between them both, and Sebek struggled to let go. They would meet up when they could for lunch, sometimes going to a restaurant for a ‘date’, which left Sebek mesmerised by the man sitting opposite him—smiling fondly and, if they ordered different things, usually offering him a bite to eat.

The most difficult lunches were when they just sat together in the park with packed leftovers, as Silver would cuddle into his side and fall asleep, and Sebek never had the heart to wake him. He didn’t want to disturb the peace between them. It wasn't because Silver looked beautiful, and overly content, snuggled up to his side.

They would walk home, Silver listening to Sebek rant about his day as though he were simply pleased to hear his voice. When home, one of them would start dinner, and then they'd spend some time together in the living room afterwards. Sometimes Sebek spent it reading, Silver snuggled up to his side attempting to do his own paperwork (but he'd always fall asleep). 

Sometimes Silver coaxed them into a small kissing practice, which… had mixed results. More regularly Silver was coping with them and didn't have to run off, the regularity of their practicing clearly helping, but sometimes he'd pull away suddenly and go quiet. The practice would end, Silver excusing himself saying he was tired, and that would be the last Sebek would see of him until the next day.

Sebek hated those evenings. He much preferred when they would say goodnight to each other in the hall, a small kiss shared between them both that left Silver smiling quietly up at him. Those smiles were always the highlight of his day, and yet…

Sebek was struggling to sleep.

He'd replay every moment in his head, how wonderful every second felt, and tried to rationalise away the fluttering in his heart. It was just their pretend relationship, that was all. Part of him was enjoying the attention and soft affections and was trying to convince him he felt something more for his best friend. That was it.

There was no way he'd actually fall for him, knowing what he knew about Silver's dislike of romance. It'd make no sense to fall for him, for his laughter to make his heart spasm, for his kisses—that Silver hated— to leave him breathless. He wouldn't do that to Silver, wouldn't betray and upset him in such a way, so it had to just be circumstantial.

These thoughts were harassing him once again as they walked together to a local café for lunch, their hands linked comfortably together. Silver was smiling quietly to himself, the silence between them comfortable as Sebek refused to admit he kept stealing glances at Silver whenever he could. It was frustrating how familiar this entire situation was, how comfortable it was, and so when Silver suddenly stopped walking it threw Sebek for a moment.

“Um. Sebek.” The surprise in Silver’s voice wasn’t helping either, and Sebek turned when Silver nodded towards what had caught his attention. At first he couldn’t tell, it was just a regular corner stand, until he looked closer. One of the magazine issues was reporting on the autumnal ball Malleus had hosted, which was to be expected, but what hadn’t been expected was the focus on them both—the image of them kissing whilst they danced taking up a large portion of the front cover.

Sebek suddenly lost his appetite, growing more and more pale as they approached to get a better look at it. There was no denying this was an image of the two of them, embraced lovingly as they kissed, and Sebek didn’t know what to do. How many people had seen this? Had Baur seen this? Why did people even want to write about them?! Why—

“It’s a good photo.” Silver spoke softly, his words snapping Sebek from his thoughts because of how utterly baffling they were.

“W-What?! This is—” Sebek looked back at the photo, and he had to admit it… did look good. It looked like a painting in an art gallery, the composition beautiful and romantic, but it was still a photo of them both! “S-Silver I— It’s one thing to be written about, but a photograph?”

Silver’s hand squeezed his gently, a thumb rubbing calmly in a circle, and Sebek expected him to take him off to the side to quietly calm him down like always. Instead, Silver grabbed one of the magazines and spoke to the shopkeep. “Excuse me, how much for this?”

Why are you buying one, Silver?! The cashier looked a little surprised for a moment, clearly realising they were the couple on the front page, before her gaze softened and she gave the price. Surely that was all Silver would do, but the next thing he knew Silver had paid the woman and was dragging him away with one of the magazines in his free hand.

“Why did you get that?!” Sebek hissed under his breath, but Silver was still just looking at the image like it wasn’t something that could potentially cause the end of the world.

“It’s a good photo. I said as much before.”

“Silver I don’t think you understand, Baur—” Silver stiffened at the mention of Baur, and he looked over towards Sebek with a dawning look of horror on his face.

“Oh.”

“OH INDEED, SILVER!!” Sebek’s sudden volume increase caused Silver to cringe, the man closing his eyes as he dragged Sebek off into the entrance of a nearby alley. Despite the fact Silver should be annoyed for being screamed at in the middle of the street, the man instead looked up at him with concern—still holding his hand reassuringly.

“It’ll be ok, Sebek. Just breathe. I’m right here.” Taking Silver’s advice, Sebek breathed in deeply, only just becoming aware of the fact he’d started shaking. Silver coaxed him down into a hug, his neck once again bending awkwardly as he was directed to Silver’s shoulder, but he didn’t mind it so much this time. “It’ll be ok.”

Sebek shut his eyes when they started to sting. “You don’t know that. It’s… I-If my grandfather finds out about this h-he’ll…”

“Maybe we should go and tell him? His house isn’t far. If he’s home, it would be best to tell him in person.” Silver spoke gently, but his words were anything but reassuring right now. In fact he sounded completely deluded.

“Are you listening to me, Silver?!” Sebek snapped, pulling away from the hug even if he’d started to cry in the process.

Silver just brought his spare hand up to gently wipe at those tears. “I am. We should let Baur know we’re dating so he doesn’t find out from this.” He gestured with the magazine, and Sebek felt his chest constricting as he frantically shook his head.

“He— He can’t find out at all!! He— Silver he’ll disown me!!” Sebek couldn’t see through his tears, a broken sob leaving him, and Silver shuffled them both further down the alley to give them more privacy—his hand once again coming to gently cradle his cheek.

“He won’t do that, Sebek.”

“YES HE WILL!!” Sebek tugged away from Silver again, his breathing growing laboured as he paced in the small space. His lungs burned as he envisioned his grandfather’s cold glare: the one he always gave his father. He’d hate the fact he was dating a human, would hate the fact that human was male, and then Sebek would lose the man he looked up to most in the world.

He didn’t realise he was keening brokenly until Silver again came to hold his hand in an attempt to comfort. “Sebek, please, why would he disown you? He loves you.”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE A HUMAN!!” Screaming that caused Silver to recoil slightly, and Sebek knew it wasn’t just because of the volume. “HE— HE’S NOT GOING TO APPROVE! HE’D NEVER APPROVE!! ESPECIALLY BECAUSE IT’S YOU!!”

That caused Silver to let go of his hand, his brows furrowing sharply in anger. “What does that mean?”

“DON’T PLAY DUMB!! HE– YOU SAW MASTER LILIA’S DREAM!! BAUR SAW THE DAWN KNIGHT TOO! HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE!! HE— HE’D NEVER APPROVE OF US!!” A sudden slap came to his cheek, the sudden sting freezing Sebek’s spiralling thoughts as the sharp sound bounced down the empty alley. It stopped him speaking, stopped his panicking thoughts, and slowly replaced them with an ice cold dread. Hesitantly he turned towards Silver, saw the fury marring his face, saw the tears, and immediately his heart plummeted. “S-Silver, I—”

The man stormed off without a word, his silver hair trailing after him, and Sebek felt like his chest had spilled out onto the dank alleyway flooring. A hand came up to his cheek, cradling the stinging mark, and he had no idea what to do. He was trembling, his thoughts overwhelming and frantic, but one kept repeating: he didn’t want to lose Silver. If he just let him leave, he’d potentially lose his best friend, and that thought stirred him to move.

Running out of the alleyway, Sebek desperately looked around for any hint of silver hair, and he was beyond thankful Silver was so distinct. He could see him marching towards the park, and Sebek rushed after him. Silver had gained quite a lot of ground, but Sebek could still see him so didn’t think this warranted use of his unique magic. It was a rather loud spell, after all, and even if Sebek’s heart was screaming that this was a dire enough situation to use it, he knew it wouldn’t help.

No, instead he managed to catch up to Silver, who had quietly gone to sit on a bench by the duckpond. The same one he'd fled to months ago when he'd first struggled to kiss Sebek. He was looking at the magazine cover, and didn’t look up when Sebek moved to sit down. Instead, he moved to rub at his face with his sleeve, even if it was impossible to hide the fact he was upset. 

“I’m sorry.” Sebek spoke immediately, his voice causing Silver to stiffen even if he tried to pretend he hadn’t. “I should never have said that. Ever. You’re not… he knows you’re not just that man’s son. You’re Silver Vanrouge, and always will be, a-and I was just being stupid and panicking.”

A quiet sniffle left Silver, but the man shuffled just a fraction closer on the bench. “I shouldn’t have slapped you. It just… caught me off guard, hearing you say that.”

“I shouldn’t have said it at all, of course it caught you off guard! You were well within your right to slap me.” Sebek watched as Silver’s brows furrowed, the man sniffling again, before he shook his head.

“No one deserves to get slapped, Sebek… I just… wish I’d understood how much this was upsetting you.” Silver fussed with the edge of the magazine, that picture of them both staring up at him in the weighty silence between them. “How much I upset you…”

Without thinking, Sebek brought a hand out to Silver’s own and held it tightly. “You don’t upset me, Silver.” There was a slight tremor in Silver’s hand, but Silver didn’t pull it away from Sebek’s grasp. “Those were my own insecurities, and I shouldn't have shoved them at you like that. I-It’s just I… always fear I’m never enough for my grandfather. I feared I was losing him, so lashed out, but you’re right. You’re always right.”

A louder sniffle came this time, Silver's voice wet with his tears. “How am I right in this situation?”

“My grandfather loves me. I know he does. He might… be upset, for a while, but he loves me. J-Just…” The hand in his own shifted, and Silver moved to squeeze firmly in return.

“We don’t need to tell him, Sebek. If that’s too much…” Silver trailed off in thought, before another sniffle broke the silence. “Maybe we can get Malleus to buy all the copies…? Then your grandfather won’t see it.”

“That’s… a little extreme, Silver. He might not even see the picture.”

“He definitely won’t see them if every store around his house doesn’t have any copies.” Silver seemed strangely adamant about this, and Sebek shook his head—the slightest of fond smiles spreading on his lips. 

“Silver…”

“I mean it! We… I-I'm sure I can ask Malleus, explain how we've not told your grandfather, and he'd help.” Shuffling closer, Sebek squeezed Silver's hand again, and could've sighed in relief when Silver deflated a little. He needed to let go of the strange idea, because there was no way Malleus would entertain such a thing despite Silver's insistence he would. Sebek gave Silver a moment to wipe his face again, actively trying to calm down as well, whilst he rubbed his thumb in a reassuring circle.

“The picture will be there, what, a week? Then it'll be something else? He's only been back in the country a few days, and I imagine he'll be tired.” Sebek spoke softly, trying to reassure Silver now, and it was always strange how that happened. Even though Sebek was still terrified of his grandfather finding out, the simple fact Silver was more shaken up enabled him to drop everything to support him. Silver was usually the same, and it left a quiet ache in his chest that they cared so strongly for each other. “My grandfather likely has no reason to leave his house.”

Silver shook his head. “He needs to give his report… Maybe we, um, make the walk between his house and the castle? And buy any copies that are obvious. Not every store would be selling these, after all.”

Still Silver was adamant about buying copies, and it was so like him that Sebek couldn't help but smile. A moment of bravery followed, Sebek shifting to bring his arm around Silver, and when the man immediately sagged he knew they would be alright despite their argument.

“I’m serious. Don't do that. We'd look insane doing that, Silver.” Sebek moved to start rubbing Silver's arm, and when he shifted to lean against Sebek's side, Silver sighed.

“You're right. I just… hated seeing you so upset. I don't want you to hurt if I can help it.” Those words were said so calmly, without a hint of embarrassment, and Sebek wondered how Silver always managed such a thing. Just hearing those words made his cheeks red, made Sebek's throat tighten, and it only grew worse when Silver looked up at him with those expressive eyes—still shining slightly from his previous tears. “Can I heal your cheek…?”

Sebek blinked in surprise at that, before his own gaze softened. “I personally feel like I need it as a reminder of what an asshole I’ve been, but… If looking at it upsets you, I don't wish to trouble you more.”

A gentle wash of magic came over him, the faint ache on his cheek vanishing entirely with the cool sensation, and Silver smiled quietly up at him. His hand came up to caress his cheek, the touch light and almost reverent, before Silver's gaze grew hooded.

“There… Everything's fixed again.” It became clear Silver was growing tired, likely from the relief of everything, and with a small sigh Sebek tugged Silver closer. Immediately Silver found his regular spot on Sebek's shoulder, his smile only growing.

“Do you have anything time-sensitive this afternoon?” Sebek asked before Silver fell asleep fully, even if he was rapidly heading in that direction.

“Don't think so…” Silver mumbled, which wasn't the most reassuring response, but Sebek figured it wouldn't be the end of the world. It was sloppy, and Sebek would be annoyed with himself for allowing it, but if Silver missed something because he fell asleep no one would be too furious about it. And Silver deserved a moment to rest after everything that had just happened.

Though Sebek was surprised when Silver spoke up once again, having assumed he'd be asleep by now. He gestured with the magazine still in his hand, his voice slightly slurred, and Sebek could only smile in response. “It's still a good photo.”

“It certainly is, Silver.”

—

Baur had, blessedly, not seen the photograph of them both at the ball, and Sebek wasn't entirely sure Silver hadn't gone and bought as many copies as possible. There weren't any at home besides the first magazine they'd bought, but there was always a chance the desk in Silver's office was full of them.

Or Malleus', if Silver had gotten Malleus involved like he'd suggested.

Either way, that entire ordeal was behind them both now, and they'd blissfully had a few weeks of calm. If you could call Sebek being constantly at war with his thoughts as ‘calm’. Things had been… wonderful, if Sebek were being entirely honest, and that in itself was the most baffling part.

The conversation of stopping their fake relationship hadn't come up once. Silver wasn't adamantly pushing him to fix things, and Sebek assumed the fact he wasn't openly panicking about the situation anymore was the only reason why. They had a way out of it. They could simply explain the nature of their relationship had changed, but that there were no hurt feelings between them.

It was reassuring knowing there was a way out of this hole so… why hadn't he climbed out of it yet? Why wasn't Silver demanding they climb out like he had before? Sebek assumed they’d both just needed the stability for a moment, seeing as Silver had gotten severely unwell over everything, but they’d eventually have to face it. Now that they were both doing better, surely Silver would demand they go back to their old lives.

Sebek didn't like thinking about that. It left his chest aching, and he didn't want to think too closely about that ache either.

Maybe that was the issue. He avoided thinking about things unless it was late at night, which really wasn't the best time for rational thought. Sebek knew he didn't want to leave their relationship as he still feared his parents would push him to start dating, and he didn’t know how to explain to them he was perfectly fine.

But was that really the only reason? Silver was also actively uncomfortable, he had to be, so Sebek should really try and put an end to their fake relationship. It was cruel to keep Silver trapped like this, but… Silver still hadn't pushed him on it.

He was likely just being selfless, and Sebek sighed tiredly as he placed his head in his hands.

At this rate they were going to be attending the winter solstice together. Although… Sebek had to admit he'd likely encourage that even if they did ‘break up’, as he refused to let Silver spend the holidays sat at home focusing on work. Thinking about the holidays reminded him he had to check in on the commission he was getting made for Silver's present, and that thought at least lightened his mood.

The fact he kept getting distracted at work over all of this was, quite honestly, really unprofessional. He should be better than this. There was no way Silver was spending his day thinking about Sebek and the confusing feelings between them both, after all.

A firm knock came to his office door, which told Sebek immediately that it wasn't Lilia, but the fact they didn't walk in shortly afterwards also told him it wasn't Silver. Placing his quill in its stand, Sebek called out for the person to enter.

The tall, imposing sight of his grandfather was the last person Sebek had expected to see, and he swiftly moved to stand. Baur looked rather serious, his expression guarded, and when the man spoke Sebek felt his stomach plummet.

“I believe we need to have a word, Sebek.” 

Chapter Text

“I believe we need to have a word, Sebek.” Baur didn't sound enraged, but there was a tightness to his voice that told Sebek immediately this was about Silver. About the fact he was dating a human. He felt like he was going to be sick, knew he’d likely grown pale, and he at first nodded before Baur's gaze sharpened.

He would want him to respect him enough to respond verbally.

“Of course, grandfather, I have the time.” Sebek desperately tried to sound casual, as there was always the chance Baur was here to talk about his previous trip to the Sunset Savannah, but when the man exhaled he knew that wasn't the case.

“Cease hiding behind your desk. You know full well what this is about, and I wish to speak with you directly.” Baur being so direct was one of the many attributes Sebek admired about him, but right now it wasn't helping his nerves in the slightest. Despite that, Sebek moved as ordered so they were both standing in front of his desk. Sitting would be more comfortable, but Sebek couldn’t bring it up and Baur hadn't suggested it either—his stare boring into Sebek's soul. “Silver Vanrouge.”

Just hearing Silver's name made Sebek cringe, his eyes closing tightly in fear, as he was terrified of what came next. Baur was going to rant about how terrible it was that he loved a human, a human male, and the worst part was Sebek didn't know if he could deny it. Before, he'd been certain they were just best friends, even with the kissing and the compliments and the lies, but things had felt different for weeks and Sebek was desperately ignoring that fact. It was just stress, just a side-effect of Silver's pretend affections, and it would pass.

But it wouldn’t pass soon enough. Not before Baur explained how disappointed in him he was, not before his relationship with his grandfather was forever ruined, and Sebek hated how his eyes stung. How his chest felt fragile and full of glass, constricting painfully enough his lungs burned as each shard pressed into him. He looked down at his feet, an act that was utterly shameful in the presence of someone who deserved to be looked at directly, but Sebek didn't want Baur to see his tears.

And he didn't want to see his grandfather’s disappointment.

“I would like to apologise.” Baur's words stunned Sebek, the man’s gaze shooting back up in shock, but his grandfather continued despite the obvious surprise. “I'm not upset you're in a relationship with Silver. If anything you picked one of few people, perhaps the only human,” Baur had sneered around the word, and Sebek wasn't certain he actually believed what he was saying, “I would ever approve of. Silver Vanrouge is a man I respect significantly, and he is more than worthy to be my grandson’s partner.”

Sebek was at a complete loss, never expecting Baur to speak such words out loud even in his wildest dreams. “What I am upset with, is the fact I made you feel like you couldn't tell me about this. That you seemed to never be able to tell me about someone so important to you.”

Baur’s expression grew pained, something Sebek had never seen from him before, and he had no idea what to do. He’d never imagined he would have to comfort his grandfather, but before he could consider what he should say Baur continued speaking. “I regret making you feel like hiding your relationship was the only option, and I wish you could forgive me for making you feel that way. That you feared retribution, or abandonment, and I want you to know that would never happen.”

Despite his best efforts, Sebek felt his eyes watering as his lungs constricted further. “H-How did you…”

“Your mother spoke to me in preparation for the family gathering over the winter solstice. It had… come as a warning, with a firm suggestion that if I were to disapprove of the development I would not be welcome in her house.” The fact his mother had pre-warned Baur wasn’t exactly unexpected, considering Sebek was entirely reluctant to speak with him about it, but he hadn’t expected the threat. At all. 

Baur had repeatedly expressed his disapproval of Sebek’s father, and had refused to let him into his house on several occasions. Even if it had caused a lot of drama over the years, his mother always invited Baur. She always reached out to him, always spoke to him with the same love and affection and just firmly reminded Baur that she loved her husband. She accepted the slights, hopeful that Baur would eventually warm to his father—which he had, in the smallest of ways. The fact they could be in the same room together at all was an outstanding achievement.

She wasn’t even giving Baur the chance with Sebek’s relationship. It was clear he had to either fully accept it, or have no further place in their lives, and the thought of such a thing was terrifying. Sebek would’ve given him the chance, he adored his grandfather so much and wanted him to approve of any future relationship, and his mother being so protective was unnerving. And devastating. The last thing Sebek would want in his life is to lose his grandfather because of someone else’s choices.

“Sebek, I deeply regret making you feel this way.” Baur was speaking as firmly and as direct as always, but there was a tension in his frame Sebek often recognised in his own posture. Trepidation. Fear of rejection. Guilt. “For making you feel like your only option was to exclude me from your life. I’m not ashamed of you, Sebek. I would never be ashamed of you. You have always made me unbelievably proud, and bring nothing but honour to the Zigvolt name.”

This was too overwhelming, Sebek whimpering as those tears he’d desperately been trying to hold back finally spilled forth. It was shameful, crying was something children did, but that’s how he felt right now. A child, devastated that his grandfather was upset over his actions. There was no stopping himself from stepping forwards and hugging Baur tightly—a sob stumbling from his lips in the process.

“FORGIVE ME, GRANDFATHER!!” Sebek bawled, gripping him tighter as his crying only grew worse when he felt Baur’s arms wrap around him in return. “I didn’t mean to hide this from you! I never meant to hide it, I—” He cut himself off with a loud whimpering sob, pressing his face into Baur’s shoulder as he held him tighter.

When his grandfather stroked his fingers through his hair, Sebek only grew worse.

“I-I just didn't want people to know!” Sebek felt raw, his words choking him on the way out of his mouth. “I-It wasn't just you, it was everyone!! I-I— I shouldn't— I WAS ASHAMED OF MYSELF!!”

Sebek's sobbing grew worse, his voice cracking, and he felt terrible for putting this on Baur so suddenly. But the only way he could explain that he wasn't ashamed of his grandfather was to explain who he actually was ashamed of, and it left him feeling vulnerable.

“I-I– I'VE HAD—” His voice broke, the strain from how loud he was strangling him, so he tried to lower his volume so he could even get the words out. “I’ve st-struggled to bring this up my whole l-life, a-a-and didn't want to, but– b-but had to b-because my parents arranged a courtship and I—”

“A courtship…?” Baur sounded genuinely confused, and concerned, at the idea, and Sebek sniffled loudly.

“W-Well, a-a series of blind d-dates… but it's basically the same thing!! They w-wanted me to get m-married, and have a family, and I couldn't— I-I’ve never loved women! I—” Another loud sob left him, Sebek taking shaky breaths to try and settle himself, but it was difficult. Especially when Baur was still patiently holding him. Was still stroking his fingers through his hair.

This was the most affection his grandfather had ever given him, but Sebek also figured he'd never broken down like this in front of him either.

“I-I’m a disappointment a-and I h-had to explain that to them!! I d-didn’t want to, but it— I-I had no choice! I c-couldn’t live a lie, a-and I wish I-I wasn't—” The rest of his words came out muffled and overly wet, Sebek trying desperately to calm himself and stop rambling on about things that his grandfather didn't need to know about. Luckily he managed to quieten down, but in the lull Baur spoke up.

“You only told them about Silver because you felt pressured to do so…?” Sebek froze a little at those words, having not even thought about his fake relationship with Silver. The idea of lying to Baur sent shards of ice piercing into his core, and he could only manage a timid nod. Even that movement felt like agony, and Sebek suddenly realised this must've been how Silver felt when lying to his father.

He needed to apologise to Silver, immediately.

Pulling back from his grandfather's embrace, Sebek wiped at his face and cringed at the fact he'd made a mess of Baur's shoulder. The older fae just waved it away with a simple cleaning spell, not even giving it a second thought. Once he'd calmed further, Baur moved his hands to grip Sebek's arms—giving them a firm and reassuring squeeze—before he spoke.

“I'm proud of you, Sebek.” Those words nearly set Sebek off again, the man stiffening and inhaling sharply. “You've been carrying a heavy burden your whole life, and have still become such a fine man. I'm proud of you for doing so, and I'm proud of the fact you didn't close off your heart entirely. That you let Silver support you over the years, even if you feared letting the rest of the world in. I'm happy you have a relationship like that.”

Everything Baur was saying was wonderful to hear, Sebek feeling lighter than he had in years, but it came with a very heavy guilt attached. As Silver hadn't been supporting him for years, and he didn't have this close relationship with him. It made the lie feel worse, and Sebek felt like crying all over again.

A quiet knock came to the door, Sebek flinching and turning to look in that direction. He’d been about to advise whoever it was to come back later, but of course they opened the door. There was only one person in the world who would knock and then enter anyway, but seeing Silver peek through the door was still a little unexpected.

“Sorry for the interruption, Sebek, I—” Silver stiffened as soon as he realised who Sebek was with currently, and the man moved to awkwardly hide something behind his back. “Ah, sorry, I’ll come back later, I—”

Baur gestured for Silver to enter.

The man looked like a frightened rabbit, which was saying something considering how fearless of a person Silver was. He stepped in reluctantly, fussing with a bouquet behind his back, and he could barely look at the pair of them. Really, today couldn’t get any stranger. First his grandfather had shown up, saying the most unbelievable things, and now Silver had flowers for some reason.

Clearly they were for him, as why else would he be hiding them so intently? From Silver’s perspective, Baur still didn’t know about their relationship, so if he was trying to pretend they weren’t dating the best course of action would be to pretend the flowers weren’t for Sebek. But hiding them made them so obviously for Sebek. It was a good thing everything was out in the open now, as if Silver had entered before Baur confirmed he wasn’t furious with them both, Sebek could see himself collapsing with the stress.

It really didn’t help that Silver was just standing there.

He’d clearly gotten stuck, and had no way to move forwards because if he handed Sebek the flowers then Baur would know about the relationship, but he was struggling to come up with a fake reason he was here because he’d obviously shown up with the intent of gifting Sebek flowers. The silence in the room was frankly growing awkward, and uncomfortable, and Sebek couldn’t stand it any longer—especially if Silver’s thoughts were spiralling at the moment. Letting out a tired sigh, he spoke up.

“He knows about us, Silver. Stop just standing there.” Silver had flinched at the words, staring at the pair of them in horror, and a sharp ache went through Sebek at the sight. He looked pale, and terrified, and his eyes jumped between them both as he desperately tried to work out what state Sebek and Baur’s relationship was in. Sebek wanted nothing more than to comfort him, to reassure him that everything had miraculously gone fine, but Silver seemed to find his nerve again.

He straightened suddenly and walked towards the pair with a determined gait, but his confidence had mostly fizzled out again by the time he was finally in front of them both.

Silver held out the flowers he’d been poorly hiding behind his back, his cheeks dark as he struggled to look directly at Sebek. The familiar scent hit him before he realised what they were. They were a bouquet of meadowsweet flowers, Sebek feeling his own face heating up and honestly wondering why Silver was buying him flowers now. Especially meadowsweet ones, seeing as that was just a thing shared between them both and that picnic. The flowers looked like weeds to most people, so if he was trying to be romantic he should’ve gone with literally anything else.

Still, Sebek felt an overwhelming fondness spread through him at the sight, and he suddenly didn't want to be given any other flowers.

“I-I saw them and, well, I thought of you and… Sorry, I shouldn’t have, I’m not sure what I was thinking. You don’t even have a vase.” Silver was flitting slightly, looked ready to flee at any moment due to his nerves, and that was the last thing Sebek wanted him to do. Moving to take the bouquet from him, Sebek leant down to press a soft kiss to Silver’s cheek, and he felt the tension bleed out of him instantly. His cheeks had dusted pink where Sebek's lips had been a moment ago.

“Don’t apologise. This is really sweet of you.” Sebek moved to place the flowers into his water jug, and the strong scent instantly reminded him of that picnic. Of Silver’s sweet smile, and when he turned back to face him, that same smile was there—muted and shy, but there. Though Silver had glanced towards Baur, and that smile dropped with his returning nerves. 

“You look a little tired, Silver. Have you fully recovered from your illness?” Baur spoke up with some concern, the sound of the old fae’s voice making Silver stiffen, but he recovered quickly. It was likely because he realised Baur wasn’t admonishing him.

“Ah, well, it’s been a long week… I’m looking forward to the winter break.” That was a surprising sentiment from Silver, considering how much he hated being away from work, but Sebek figured he was simply acting.

“I'm glad to hear it.” Baur started pleasantly, either unaware that Silver's nerves were due to him or trying to be extra normal to calm Silver down. Sebek still wasn't sure which it was when Baur continued. “It will be lovely for you to attend the family solstice gathering. I feel terrible that you've spent so many alone to keep the peace.”

Those words surprised Silver, the man looking up at Baur properly for the first time since he'd entered. He almost looked reverent, a timid smile forming, before the moment passed almost as suddenly as it arrived. Silver's expression dropped, the man looking exhausted as he tiredly rubbed at his face.

“S-Sorry… ‘m feeling sleepy suddenly.” Something sat uncomfortably in Sebek's chest at that, as Silver almost sounded sad, but there was no denying the man also looked exhausted—watching as he moved to heavily sit on Sebek's couch.

He looked ready to pass out there, and Sebek moved to sit next to him—tugging him gently against his side. “Hey.” Sebek spoke softly, catching Silver's tired gaze. “Where’re you working for the rest of your shift?”

Blearily Silver blinked at him, before mumbling tiredly. “With Malleus…”

“I suggest you nap here for a spell, and I shall wake you once I've escorted my grandfather out.” Another nod came, Silver closing his eyes and when Sebek moved to stand, Silver shifted to lay down fully. It was starting to become a habit, Silver sleeping on his office sofa, and he wondered if he could make it more comfortable for him. Perhaps a pillow he could store underneath it to provide Silver with when one of these unexpected nap visits occurred.

But Sebek knew Silver hated sleeping, so perhaps he'd see his actions as trying to encourage him to do so, and he'd grow offended. Sebek just wanted Silver to be comfortable. That was suddenly all he wanted.

With a gesture, he and Baur moved to leave his office, closing the door quietly behind them, before they made their way towards the castle entrance.

“You don't need to escort me off the premises, Sebek.” Baur spoke firmly, and sounded annoyed, but he wasn't entirely chastising him either. “I would hope to remember my way around the castle from my years as general of the right.”

Sebek flushed a little at that, knowing it likely looked insulting guiding Baur around like he'd grown senile, but that hadn't been his intent. “I simply wished to spend more time with you without disturbing Silver! Besides, I intend to buy him a coffee on my way back.”

A small hum of approval left Baur, the sound odd to hear out of nowhere, and Sebek looked over at him with a quiet confusion at the same time Baur started speaking. “You are quite the attentive partner, Sebek. It is no wonder why Silver fell for you. It appears you make me proud, even in this.”

The man was smiling quietly, confidently, and the sight of a smile on Baur's face caused Sebek's chest to constrict. Baur so very rarely smiled, he rarely found things to approve of, so for him to be smiling because Sebek was a good boyfriend left him dizzy. Only for his insides to then twist bitterly with the simple reality: he wasn't dating Silver. He was lying to his grandfather. He was nothing but a disappointment, and Sebek didn't realise he was crying again until a hand came to his shoulder.

“Take a moment to compose yourself.” Baur's smile was still quietly there, not a hint of concern, and he likely saw these tears as his grandson’s usual hysterics. That worked out in his favour for once, but it was still embarrassing and didn't help the pain in his chest. Rubbing at his face, Sebek took some deep breaths to try and settle himself, but it was a monumental task to do so.

They weren't dating.

The attentiveness he was being praised for was just a lie.

…Wasn't it?

Sebek sniffled, taking a deep breath again. His behaviour wasn't a full lie. If Silver needed to sleep in his office, and he had a moment to do so, Sebek would let him. If he needed coffee, well, in the past Sebek wouldn't buy Silver any, but he'd learnt to tolerate it now. If it would allow Silver to work through the rest of his shift without being claimed by the grasp of sleep, then Sebek would gladly purchase him some.

It eased the sting.

He wasn't lying. The actions Baur praised weren't lies, it was just the nature of their relationship. They weren't dating, Silver hadn't fallen for him, but he could be just as attentive with any future lover.

That sting was still there, but it was manageable.

“My apologies, grandfather, that was an unsightly show.” Sebek’s apology had mostly been unnecessary, as Baur simply gave him a firm nod, and they continued on with their journey in silence. They stopped at the main crossroads before the city, Baur turning to level Sebek with a firm stare.

Even though Sebek knew Baur wasn’t disappointed with him, he still instinctively tensed up when a hand came to his upper arm in reassurance.

“Sebek. In the future, know that you can talk to me about things.” Baur’s words were as firm as his gaze, and sounded more like he was scolding Sebek, but the man knew his grandfather. It was just how he was. “I will always be there to listen. If your behaviour is unbecoming I may well admonish you for it, of course, but…”

A sharp sigh left Baur, the older fae’s jaw tensing as he clearly worked through something difficult. “Even so, I love you unconditionally.”

Sebek’s stomach dropped to his feet.

“You are my grandson. You are strong, talented, and loyal. You know the importance of hard work, are passionate, and I can only apologise for never saying these things out loud to you until now.” Sebek’s eyes flooded with tears again, but he managed to hold them back for once—mostly because he was too stunned to do anything else. The praise from his grandfather left him feeling so warm, filled him with far too much adoration that it was difficult to hold in, and he’d likely keep this moment in his memory forever. Baur was looking at him sincerely, of course he would never lie, and Sebek could still hear his voice telling him that he loved him.

Sebek moved to pull Baur into a firm hug, inhaling his grandfather’s scent as he tried to steady himself enough to speak. “I love you too, grandfather. You— You’ve no idea w-what it means to hear you say that.”

A hand again came to stroke through his hair, and Sebek didn’t care if it got messed up. “I believe I do. Whenever I hear you say the same, there’s no better sound in the world.”

That set him off again, Sebek crying quietly into Baur’s warm embrace, though his grandfather did exhale tiredly when he realised Sebek was crying again. “Compose yourself, Sebek. You should not let your emotions overwhelm you so much, especially not when Silver is relying on you to return and wake him up.”

He was right, of course, but it was so difficult to do so. Sebek just felt things so greatly. It had always been the case, and time hadn’t made it any easier because he’d just experienced more things to get emotional over. 

Still, he pulled back, cleaned his face, and gave Baur a respectable handshake as they parted ways. After all, it would be out of the way for Baur to accompany him to Silver’s favourite coffee shop. This was a small trek for Sebek as well, but he felt giddy at the thought of Silver's expression lighting up when he handed him that coffee. It was just a thanks for the flowers, for the sweet gesture, but he was still excited for Silver's reaction.

Maybe Silver had been excited for my reaction when he gave me the flowers? Sebek chastised his thoughts, as that would be a silly idea. He'd never spoken of liking flowers, and meadowsweet flowers weren't even his favourites. They were no more than a herb that grew near rivers, yet Silver had for some reason not only found someone who sold a bouquet of these (such a thing was so unlikely Sebek genuinely wondered if he'd ordered them especially) but also purchased the bouquet with the intent of gifting him them.

He'd said the flowers reminded him of Sebek, likely of the picnic where they started ‘dating’, but barely anyone knew that. It was just between them both, and Sebek's family at a push. In fact he was certain only his brother would identify the flowers as meadowsweet ones and put the pieces together, the rest of his family would wonder why Silver was gifting him a bouquet of herbs.

Either way, Silver had gifted him the flowers, and Sebek would thank him for them. Squaring his shoulders, Sebek made his way into his office and made his way over to the sofa. The completely vacant sofa.

A weight settled between his ribs, Sebek holding the cup of Silver's favourite coffee in the empty room, and when his gaze trailed towards those flowers resting clumsily in that jug of water he felt something twist. The weight in his chest grew, Sebek moving to arrange those flowers so they looked more presentable, whilst he tried desperately to ignore the reality he'd found himself in.

He was in love with Silver, wasn't he.

Just thinking it threatened to make him cry, made his vision grow blurry. This was the worst thing that could've happened. He wasn't meant to catch feelings for the man who had quietly stood by him his whole life, but what else was this cup of coffee but a gesture of his love? What else was this emptiness that had grown with Silver's absence? The kiss at the ball, the way his heart had skipped at the sight of Silver's joy, wasn't a product of the romantic atmosphere. It never had been.

Those bedtime kisses, which were his favourite part of the day, didn't leave him dizzy simply because they were in a fake relationship. Silver falling asleep on him in the park didn't feel so comforting simply because of practice. He'd been trying to ignore the truth for weeks, and it was suddenly impossible to ignore because of a single cup of coffee and a vacant sofa.

Sebek's hands were shaking, and he moved to sit in the space left behind by Silver.

What was he possibly meant to do about this? Silver didn't want a lover, didn't want Sebek, and the sureness of that rejection was too much to think about. The past several weeks had been wonderful, and had been everything Sebek could have ever dreamt of. Silver was smiling at him fondly, the joy in those iridescent eyes blinding and carefree. He was holding his hand like Sebek was something to be cherished. He was kissing and snuggling up to him on the couch at home, content in their shared closeness.

But none of it was real.

None of it was real.

Sebek swallowed hard, blinking back tears that he was tired of crying that afternoon. He was being selfish, wishing and hoping for something that he knew Silver didn't want, and he needed to fix this. There was a simple way out of this, and Sebek was almost tempted to go on any number of blind dates his parents arranged if it meant he could stop feeling this way for his best friend. Yet the idea of losing Silver left him feeling hollowed out, and Sebek glanced at the cup in his hand as though it would answer his problems. 

It wouldn't, that coffee would get cold if he didn't get over himself soon, and Sebek used that as motivation to stand. Silver had said he was guarding Malleus that afternoon, and so he made his way towards their liege’s study with a newfound purpose. He had a task of delivering coffee. It was simply a thanks for the flowers and to help Silver complete his duties that afternoon.

Knocking on Malleus' door, Sebek was let in by the guards stationed within, and his gaze was immediately drawn to Silver standing just behind Malleus—his heart skipping foolishly at the sight of him. Usually he'd acknowledge Malleus first in any room that held him, and Sebek felt lost suddenly. He couldn't approach Silver, but when Malleus signalled for him to enter, Sebek moved on autopilot.

“Sorry to disturb, my liege!” Sebek was surprised at how steady his voice sounded, considering the words felt far away as he spoke them. “I am simply delivering something for Silver.”

At the sound of his name, Silver perked up a little. He'd clearly been either focusing on staying awake, or was in the process of falling asleep, as he yawned quietly into his fist as Sebek approached. Each step felt harder than the last, especially when those stunning eyes blinked up at him with tired confusion. His mouth was too dry to speak, Sebek holding out the cup of coffee in awkward silence, but Silver understood. Of course he understood.

His gaze softened, Silver’s small affectionate smile following, and Sebek felt dizzy at the sight of it. When Silver moved to grab the cup from him it hadn’t been instant, those soft and calloused hands lingering for a moment in gratitude before they coaxed Sebek into gently letting go. He had to swallow again, had to remind himself to breathe when Silver took a half step forward and leant up.

The tender kiss that pressed to his lips made his attempts to breathe impossible, Sebek swept up in Silver’s scent and warmth and affection, and he felt unsteady when Silver pulled away. Especially as those eyes were crinkled with mirth and not a hint of discomfort over that contact they’d just shared.

Sebek wanted to hold him and never let go.

“Thank you for this, dear.” Silver spoke quietly, the moment intimate and somehow only shared between the two of them despite the others in the room, and when Silver moved to sip his coffee he felt the enchantment on his body break. He took a step back, nodded, and made to leave—but not before Silver had smiled warmly in response to the drink. Sebek wanted to make him smile like that always, and he needed to leave. Immediately.

Excusing himself and thanking Malleus for allowing the intrusion, Sebek tried to seem casual as he fled the prince’s study. Tried to seem casual as he half-ran to his office, and tried to seem casual when he frantically shut the door behind him and sagged against the wood.

He felt dizzy, his heart light as he recalled Silver’s reaction, recalled his smile, recalled his kiss. His lips were so soft, like the petals of flowers that would bruise at the slightest touch, but Silver wouldn’t bruise. He was warm, and real, and Sebek imagined his heart was beating so loudly it could be felt through the door he was leant against. 

Sebek loved Silver, and he hid in his office for the rest of the afternoon trying to come to terms with that fact—a task made more difficult with every glance towards those flowers resting in his water jug. Made more difficult with the simple fact Silver would eventually knock on his door at the end of the day and walk him home. 

Chapter Text

“Sebek, may I have a moment?” The number of people who kept walking into his office saying this exact phrase was steadily increasing lately, and more often than not it was to do with Silver. What he hadn’t expected was that the person who entered his office would be Malleus Draconia. Sebek had startled, standing upright so quickly he almost knocked his chair over and slammed his knee into his desk, but he wouldn’t let a little pain detract from his duty.

“O-Of course, my liege! I— Please, take a seat! Can I— Can I get you anything?” Sebek realised he couldn’t actually offer Malleus a drink, because his water jug was still a vase, and he was suddenly flustering as he came out from around his desk. Malleus’ guards for the day (which didn’t include Silver for once) stood outside Sebek’s door, and Malleus gestured for them to close it—the thud of the door closing making the air in his office suddenly feel suffocating.

Why was Malleus here? What was so important that Malleus came to him instead of simply summoning him? Did it require privacy? Surely Malleus could’ve sent his guards away to do so, but then perhaps even the act of sending them away would be too dangerous and telling for whatever this could possibly be about.

“Take a seat, Sebek. There is no need for the formalities, I am simply here out of a concern.” Malleus cut Sebek’s spiralling thoughts off, but suggesting he was here for a concern didn’t exactly help matters much. Regardless, Sebek managed to sit down despite how restless he felt, and he bit his tongue to stop himself from rambling and preventing Malleus from speaking. “Is Silver fully recovered from his episode?”

That had been the last thing Sebek had expected Malleus to visit for, and Sebek stared in confused shock—even if such a thing was wholly disrespectful. “I… believe so? He has seemed fine at home.”

Clearly his response was unexpected, and Malleus frowned quietly to himself. He brought a hand up to his mouth in pensive thought, and Sebek himself was starting to wonder what could be so confusing or concerning. “I am rather worried about him, Sebek. Silver sleeping is not normally a cause for concern, but he has been doing so far more frequently than usual.”

Sebek hadn’t noticed whether Silver was sleeping more than usual, but he could see why Malleus assumed it would be his stress. The man always slept more when he was stressed. Maybe it was work-related if Sebek hadn’t seen him sleeping more at home, but Malleus continued.

“I had feared he would overwork himself once again, so on his return from his absence I shifted some of his simpler duties onto others and organised longer breaks. I believed he would benefit from being able to have a break with yourself in particular, hence you both having similar schedules, but his… symptoms appear to be getting worse, not better.” Malleus' brows furrowed with his growing concern, and Sebek realised this must be weighing on their prince quite heavily. Of course Malleus cared for them both, that was a fact of life, but Sebek hadn't realised it would occupy so much of his thoughts. They were just his guards, but Malleus seemed to treasure them both dearly.

Letting Malleus suffer alone wasn't an option, so Sebek started to think as well. Had Silver really been sleeping more? Sebek couldn't recall more moments where Silver was asleep, his drowsy spells were as frequent as always, but Malleus interrupted his thoughts.

“I had wondered if the stress was from home, considering I have eased his workload, but if you have not noticed anything different…” After a weighted silence, Malleus' expression grew sad and Sebek suddenly didn't know what to do. “Perhaps… Is your relationship quite alright?”

That had been entirely unexpected, Sebek stiffening slightly, and immediately his thoughts went back to the look of enraged agony Silver had worn when Sebek had shouted cruelties at him. His stomach soured, but then he recalled Silver buying him flowers and the sweet blush on his cheeks. Those flowers were still sitting healthily in his water jug, and Sebek felt an ache go through him.

Was their relationship ok? Now that Sebek thought about it, Silver had been getting more tired than usual, but it had never seemed like his sleep curse. It was quieter, and heavier, and caused Silver to shut him out with a quiet click of his bedroom door.

“I… I think so?” Sebek didn't sound confident, a nervous anxiety settling in his chest, as was their fake relationship affecting Silver so terribly? The idea of stopping everything suddenly made it hard to breathe, and Sebek bottled that panic because he would not grow distressed in front of Malleus. 

Perhaps sitting upright a little too straight, Sebek forced himself to look at Malleus directly. “No, everything is fine. He's not sleepy around me, so it must be something else causing this lethargy. I'm sorry I cannot be of more help, my liege!”

There had been a moment where it seemed Malleus didn't believe him. His eyes had narrowed, and Sebek felt his throat tightening like the prince's expression, but he eventually nodded—that tension leaving with the motion. “But of course. He does brighten when you are nearby,” that made Sebek's chest spasm in a way which was entirely embarrassing, “and I know you care deeply for him. You would know first if something was amiss.”

Considering Sebek hadn't noticed something was wrong until this conversation, he couldn't agree with Malleus' statement. “I will admit, my liege, I'm rather concerned for him now. It may not be sleep, but Silver has… been falling into these quiet moods. He always says he's tired, but…”

“He looks profoundly sad, correct?”

Sebek's chest tightened with the condemning finality of Malleus’ statement, and the man nodded. The silence in the room seemed to deepen, both men clearly trying to puzzle out why someone so dear to them was so obviously hurting. It had to be the fake relationship, Sebek knew it was his fault somehow, as Malleus had clearly been helping at work without Sebek even realising. 

They'd had an awful lot of lunch breaks together, now that it had been pointed out, and Sebek had never questioned it. He'd just been overjoyed by the fact he was spending time with Silver, but could the same be said for the other man? He seemed happy around him, but then a chill gripped Sebek’s lungs as he remembered one of the infuriating comments from Jamil Viper months ago.

‘His smiles are forced.’  

Had the man been telling the truth? Was Silver merely pretending to be happy just to prevent Sebek from worrying? Silver already assumed any of Sebek's negative moods were worry towards him, so perhaps he was masking to not upset Sebek further. Yet the idea of Silver hurting silently, and pretending to be happy with him, left Sebek feeling empty. It made him question his fondest memories, wondering if Silver was just acting, and Sebek hated the idea. 

It hurt so much Sebek didn't think he could stand it, and when his eyes started to sting he remembered where he was right now. He was in front of Malleus, who was concerned about Silver. If he started crying that wouldn't help matters, even if Sebek didn't think he could hold onto his hurt for much longer without breaking down. 

“I… won’t keep you longer, my liege.” Sebek’s voice was tight with the effort it was taking to mask his own emotions. “I’ll try and speak with him at home, and will let you know if he confides in me.”

Malleus nodded, seemingly unaware of the nosedive Sebek’s mood had taken, before he stood and made to leave. “Thank you for listening to me, Sebek. It has helped ease a burden that has been troubling me for quite some time.” Even Malleus’ gratitude didn’t help lift Sebek’s mood, but he forced a bright smile and handed Malleus back to his guards for the day.

Once alone in the silence of his office, Sebek felt that void consume him.

Did Silver hate being around him? Was every kiss, every soft moment of affection, pushing Silver further and further away from him? The love he felt for Silver hadn’t settled, Sebek feared it never would, and the idea Silver despised him left him feeling raw and exposed. Though he knew that had always been the case, hadn’t he? Silver had said so himself right at the start of all of this. He hated romance. He hated kissing. Why would he suddenly enjoy those things from Sebek? The man wasn’t anything special.

Maybe he should finally end the charade, if it was upsetting Silver so much, but the idea of never getting to hold him again finally caused those tears to fall. Sebek knew he was being selfish, and cruel, but he wanted to keep things as they were. Wanted to keep Silver close, keep him smiling, but… those smiles could be fake.

Talking to Silver about this was likely the right thing to do, he should explain how he wanted to keep things as they are, and maybe see if Silver could tolerate it, but… what if he couldn't tolerate it? What if speaking it aloud brought the entire dream to an end? Sebek didn't want to wake up, he wanted to keep pretending Silver loved him, because Sebek didn't think he could ever love anyone more than he did Silver.

No one made him laugh more, no one understood him more, no one challenged him to be a better person or made his heart skip with a simple smile. Silver was beautiful, literally no one could even begin to compare to Silver's beauty, and of course it was effortless. Even covered in drool, his hair tangled and knotted with random plant matter, Silver still looked beautiful.

Sebek would likely always see him as beautiful, he was that firmly rooted in his heart.

Which is why the idea of Silver hurting was so agonising. He couldn't lose Silver, but if he was actively harming him he also couldn't let that continue. Maybe he should try and ask the next time Silver's mood shifted, to see what was actually causing it, as there was always a chance it wasn't their fake relationship. Something else could be upsetting him, and Sebek could—yet again—be selfishly making it about himself, when instead he should just be trying to support Silver no matter what the real issue was.

Wiping at his face, Sebek figured he should stop crying in an empty room, and should try and stay vigilant towards how Silver was feeling.

—

Surprisingly, it didn't take long for an opportunity to arrive. The rest of the week had followed their usual routine, their usual lunch breaks and bedtime kisses, and honestly Sebek wondered if he should just ask him outright regardless of his mood. There was always the chance Silver had worked through whatever was troubling him, and he'd simply dismiss Sebek's concern but thank him for keeping him in mind. Of course, that wasn't the case, and Silver's mood had shifted when they were home together.

Whilst making out.

Making out quite a bit.

It had been Silver who had started it, in Sebek's defence, but he'd definitely let himself get carried away with it. Silver had left the shower that evening, his hair slightly wet as he joined Sebek on the sofa in his fresh pyjamas, and he thought they'd just relax until it was time to eat but Silver had other ideas. He'd tilted Sebek's face away from his book, an act that in hindsight was actually really annoying because Sebek had no idea what page he was on anymore, but at the time he'd been immediately entranced by Silver's gaze.

By the way he licked his lips, took a steadying breath, and leant forwards to kiss him. He rarely started his practice sessions by announcing his intentions anymore, instead he would suddenly have his hands in Sebek's hair and Sebek would find his hands at Silver's waist, and it would grow difficult to think after that point. This time was no different, although the position was.

At some point Silver had pushed him back against the sofa, and Sebek had moved willingly because the sight of Silver leaning over him to start kissing him all over again had been mesmerising. Because his hair was drying it wasn't tied up for once, and those silver strands had curtained them both as Silver leaned closer again. Their noses had brushed a moment, Sebek feeling dizzy with how happy he felt, and Silver's lips returned just as eagerly as before.

There had even been a brush of Silver's tongue against his lips, and Sebek hadn't been able to suppress the full-body shiver that had followed. Silver rarely, if ever, used his tongue and he wondered what was so different this time. Sebek didn't want to scare him off, so had opened his mouth slightly for Silver to explore if he wanted to, and when he'd felt Silver's tongue against his own he'd almost felt faint.

It was a good thing he was laid down right now, though that only served to highlight Silver's chest pressed against him in their loose embrace. Sebek slid his tongue slowly against Silver's, let his hand stroke comfortably along Silver's back, and everything felt right. His heart was singing, his senses filled with everything Silver, and he didn't want the kiss to ever end.

But of course thinking that brought on the inevitable. That tongue pulled away, Silver following shortly after, and Sebek had slowly opened his eyes—expecting to see Silver's flushed and warm smile. Instead, Silver had pulled back fully, wasn't looking at him, and looked quietly miserable. The tip of his tongue was moving slowly against his lower lip, and Silver was fussing with the ends of his hair, before he sighed tiredly.

“I'm sorry…” Silver started, his lethargy spreading to his words. “I'm suddenly exhausted.”

That didn't sit right with Sebek, because of the heavy cloud of misery hanging over Silver, and he refused to drop it this time. Shifting closer, Sebek moved to wrap an arm around Silver and gave the man a small squeeze. 

“Are you ok? Your eyes are glassy, are you sure it's just fatigue?” Sebek had asked gently, and those words caused Silver to stiffen. He looked away immediately, hiding his eyes as he moved to wipe at them, and Sebek's chest twisted further at the sight of Silver trying to shut him out. But he hadn't done so entirely, he was still in his embrace, and Sebek took that as a small comfort when Silver replied.

“Work’s just been stressful lately… I have eye fatigue, that's all.” The obvious lie from Silver stung, as why was he hiding his upset from him? Maybe Sebek really was the cause, but he tried to not let it dissuade him from potentially helping Silver.

“Are you sure? If… something's wrong, you can always talk to me, you know that right?” Silver just nodded quietly in return, but didn't speak, and Sebek could feel the wall being built between them. He refused to let it stay there, but he didn't want to upset Silver more by continuing to pry.

Instead he figured he'd try to cheer him up.

“How about we go on a date tonight? It'll save you having to wash up, if you're tired, and I'm sure the restaurant food will be nicer than my own.” Sebek tried to sound positive, tried to sound encouraging, but Silver still wasn't looking at him. “It'll be my treat! I know the perfect place to go.”

Still Silver was silent, still seemed miserable, and maybe… maybe it was their fake relationship. The idea of a date didn't help, of spending time together as a couple, and Sebek suddenly feared Silver calling an end to everything. He'd explain how miserable Sebek was making him, and that he hated being with him, and Sebek felt that void opening up again.

Why was the world so cruel? Why would it cause him to fall for someone who would never love him back? What was the point in having a heart if it just hurt? He couldn't even help cheer Silver up, he was just making him more upset, but Sebek didn't want to lose him. He wanted Silver to actually be in love with him, if that would ever be possible, and—

“A date sounds nice…” Silver finally spoke up, looking at Sebek directly with a tired smile. The sudden whiplash was alarming, seeing as Sebek assumed Silver didn't want to go on the date with him. Was he genuinely just tired? If so, what was making him so tired all the time?

What at work was stressing him out, if it was actually work that was upsetting him?

Sebek was growing more confused and concerned by the minute, his emotions unsteady from how upset he'd made himself, but then Silver leant up and pressed a small kiss to his cheek before standing, and Sebek felt unsteady for an entirely different reason. Silver got halfway down the hall before calling back.

“Is there a dress code, dear?” Sebek's chest flipped at the pet name again, adoring the sound on Silver's lips, but he couldn't let himself get too distracted. That would look strange.

“Smart, but it doesn't need to be extravagant!” Sebek called after him, and with a small smile, Silver nodded and vanished into his room.

After his sad moods, Silver would usually head to his room in silence and Sebek wouldn't see him again until the next day, but this time Sebek felt relieved. He'd somehow gotten Silver out of his mood, and maybe… maybe he could try and tell Silver how he felt. Saying it outright felt too difficult, but maybe he could try and impress Silver. Could try and show the other man how much he adored him, and with that newfound motivation, Sebek moved to head into his own room.

He didn't want to be too overdressed, considering the restaurant Sebek intended to take them to wasn't exactly fine dining, but he wanted to make an effort. Silver might not find him attractive but… it'd make Sebek feel more confident. He put on his favourite dark green shirt, with a black tie and dark grey slacks. The shirt fit a little tightly, but not in a way that made it look like it'd shrunk in the wash, no. It was comfortable to wear, but accentuated the muscles he'd worked hard on, and it always left him feeling handsome.

Makeup would be too much, but Sebek moved to fix his hair—perhaps getting a little too meticulous about it—before he put on some cologne. Silver had admitted to liking it several years back, apparently it reminded him of his father's garden during the summer, and Sebek had just continued buying it afterwards out of habit. It really came in handy now that Sebek was actively trying to impress Silver.

Though the idea of leaving his room did make him feel a little nervous, as what if this was too much? He wasn't going to wear a suit jacket, his outer coat and scarf (without a hat, he wasn't going to mess up his hair) would be fine until they reached the restaurant, but what if Silver was far more casual? He wasn't trying to impress Sebek, after all, and the longer Sebek flustered in his room the more confused Silver would grow.

He was likely sitting impatiently on the couch waiting for him, as Sebek had already spent too much time on his hair, and he didn't want to annoy him before they even started the date! That spurred Sebek onwards, the man leaving his room with an apology on his lips, only to discover the living room was empty.

Silver was moving around his room, Sebek could hear him, and he was surprised he was still getting ready until it dawned on him: Silver's hair had been wet. He'd likely had to dry it, but even so that didn't take him that long to do with magic.

Either way, Sebek moved to sit patiently on the sofa until Silver's door clicked open.

“Apologies I took so long, I was, um, having difficulty with my hair…” When Sebek had looked up at Silver's arrival, he suddenly didn't feel like he'd put too much effort into his clothes. Not at all.

Silver was wearing one of his nicer shirts, the off-white silk one with a subtle damask patterning to it, but had opted for no tie. Not that it looked scruffy without one, far from it, as he'd paired it with a pale blue waistcoat that really highlighted his waist. He was wearing light grey trousers that made the smarter shirt combination more casual, even if they were tailored exceptionally well.

That didn't even mention his makeup. His makeup! Silver had used the same silver eyeshadow he'd used for the ball, but had mostly applied it to the outer corners of his eyes in a way that made him look like pixies had danced along his cheekbones. To accentuate his makeup, Silver had braided one side of his hair into his ponytail, and had weaved a thin light-blue ribbon through it.

The man looked beautiful, and Sebek couldn't tear his eyes away for a single second.

His staring hadn't gone unnoticed, especially as he'd been completely silent, and Sebek watched as Silver's cheeks flushed with colour. There was no way he could love this man more. “Um… This is ok, right? It's not too much?”

Sebek stood abruptly. “It's fine!! You look— Silver, you look beautiful!” The compliment made his cheeks darken further, Sebek's heart hammering because how could Silver possibly be real? They were about to go on a date, together, and Sebek didn't know what unsavoury deal he'd made to be allowed such an opportunity. He was allowed to kiss Silver, could hold his hand, could make him giggle softly, could—

“You look really handsome, Sebek.” Silver was a lot closer now, Sebek having not realised he'd been moving, and he watched as Silver's expression softened. “You're wearing that cologne… I love that smell.”

“I know you do.” Sebek spoke without thinking, unaware of how embarrassing those words truly were until his cheeks slowly started to heat. In an attempt to ignore it, Sebek stood up straighter and held his arm out for Silver to hold. “We should make haste, my dearest.”

There had been the smallest of pauses from Silver when he'd spoken the pet name, which he'd never used before, and he almost worried it was disliked. But Silver took his arm, a quiet smile on his face, before he leant slightly against Sebek. “Yes, let's. I'm rather interested in where you'll be taking me.”

They'd had to separate to get their coats on, but Silver had rather quickly reattached himself to Sebek's side. As they walked through the evening streets, the lamplight reflecting along the damp cobblestones, it really just highlighted how beautiful Silver was. Sebek was barely looking where he was going, captivated by every fogged exhale of breath that left Silver's mouth. Every movement caught the light at a different angle, reflecting off the soft glitter on Silver's eyes, and Sebek couldn't keep himself quiet any longer.

“You really do look beautiful, Silver.” Sebek spoke gently between them both, Silver looking up at him and directing those captivating eyes towards him. His cheeks were pink, perhaps from the cold air, but Sebek wanted to imagine it was his compliment when Silver's expression turned painfully soft.

“Really…? The makeup isn't, um, too much?”

Sebek shook his head, his own gaze growing hooded. He felt drunk with how much he adored the man before him, at the fact he could compliment him so openly, and Sebek tried to put all the affection he felt into his words on the off chance Silver would feel it. “It's not too much. I've never seen a more radiant, more beautiful sight.”

A quiet sound left Silver, the man's cheeks darkening further, but he didn't look away from Sebek. Instead he smiled warmly before timidly leaning up to press a kiss to Sebek's lips. “I could get used to you complimenting me…” It had likely meant to be teasing, but Silver looked so content and the kiss they’d shared made it seem honest instead. Even if it wasn't, Sebek decided to take it that way.

—

As they neared the restaurant Sebek was leading them to, Silver having spent the walk with his head leant comfortably on Sebek's shoulder, the man suddenly perked up. Turning towards Sebek, Silver spoke in surprise.

“Are you taking me to Pietro's?” Silver looked alarmed, and when Sebek simply smiled and nodded, his amazement only grew. “How did you know that’s my favourite restaurant?”

Sebek could only laugh softly at that. “Silver, you rave about the mushroom risotto literally every single time you come here.” 

Silver’s expression had softened, his smile so fond that Sebek felt lightheaded, and he couldn’t be happier in that moment. There was no way this smile was forced, no way Silver wasn’t genuinely happy to be at his side, and it made it easier to ignore the worry that had been hounding him all week. Especially when Silver leant up to kiss his cheek, the touch lingering for a moment, before Silver settled back against his shoulder with a quiet ‘thank you’.

There was no way Silver hated being near him. Silver had always been a terrible actor.

They’d gotten seated surprisingly quickly considering it was an evening towards the end of the week, and they’d managed to get one of the window tables. Not that they could really see much through them with the sun having set, and instead the glass served as yet another angle to admire Silver from. Still, not looking at his date directly would be rude! If he was ever going to manage getting his feelings across to Silver, if he were ever to impress him, Sebek should at the very least look at Silver!

Which, honestly, was exceptionally distracting and made it nearly impossible to speak. The waiter had lit the candle on the table, a small thing in a glass cup, but the flame was enough to light Silver up in dazzling warm tones. It made everything feel more intimate, like nothing existed outside of their little candlelight, and Sebek felt a reassuring warmth settle deep in his bones when Silver smiled at him.

Sebek brought his hand out to hold one of Silver's before, taking a page from Silver's book, he lifted Silver's hand to his lips to kiss his knuckles one by one. His thumb rubbed the back of his hand, and when Sebek looked back towards Silver, he felt drunk on the man's expression. At the adoration in his gaze, at the colour to his cheeks, at the candlelight flickering in his moonlight strands.

“I couldn't love you more.” Sebek spoke, his voice free of nerves for once as he brought Silver's hand back to the table without breaking eye contact. Silver's expression had somehow grown more fond, like he couldn't love Sebek more in return, but he'd seemed to grow shy all of a sudden.

He broke eye contact, looking at the menu as a distraction even though they both knew he was going to get the mushroom risotto. Though he kept hold of Sebek's hand, and with a small squeeze Sebek moved to decide on his own food.

“I love you too…” Silver murmured quietly after a moment, and Sebek felt his chest spasm—looking back up at Silver to catch his expression, but he was still looking at his menu. His cheeks were flushed slightly, and Sebek ran his thumb along the back of Silver's hand and watched in awe as his eyelids fluttered shut.

There was truly no better sight in the world than Silver so trusting and comfortable in his presence.

The atmosphere was broken briefly by the waiter returning, asking for their orders, and of course Silver went for the risotto. He looked so happy when he asked for it, and Sebek wanted to keep him smiling like that. Wanted to keep him by his side so he could ensure that happiness.

Sebek had offered Silver to try his food, the man eating gracefully off his own fork and smiling at the taste, and they'd both descended into quiet giggles when Silver refused to share his risotto. It was too good to share, apparently, and Sebek had gone to steal from Silver's plate—resulting in them sparring briefly with their forks to the sound of Silver's growing giggles.

Of course Silver had won the spar, stealing some of Sebek's food instead, but if Sebek were entirely honest he let him win. Just to see those eyes glitter with mirth, to hear those giggles for longer, and Sebek was thankful Silver's mood had improved. He seemed to light up when Sebek brought his hand back to his own, when they ordered a dessert to share, and they'd been leaning closer and closer all evening.

Really if the table wasn't separating them, Sebek would've kissed Silver hundreds of times by now. Instead he picked up one of the baked peach halves, his fingers sticky with the honey drizzle and quickly stained with the chocolate topping, and held it out for Silver. 

The man's cheeks darkened, his gaze shifting briefly out of their bubble, but he put his spoon down despite it all. “You'll have to wash your hands now, Sebek…”

Again, despite his complaints, Silver still leant forwards and took a bite out of the peach. They weren't huge, and he likely could've managed it in one bite (or Sebek certainly could've), but he was clearly trying to be polite—pulling back a little and covering his mouth slightly as he chewed.

He was still looking at Sebek with obvious affection, the half-fae grinning in return, and when he swallowed and returned to finish the peach Sebek felt giddy at the feeling of Silver's lips against his fingers. There had been a moment where Silver clearly debated something, the tip of his tongue brushing one of Sebek's fingers, but he pulled back again to finish eating.

Sebek instead moved to clean his own fingers, the honey and chocolate working amazingly with the peach juice left behind, and kept watching Silver. The man swallowed again and, wordlessly, Sebek watched as Silver moved to timidly offer him his own peach half. That flush had never left Silver's cheeks, his eyes dark in the candlelight, and Sebek couldn't adore him more.

Leaning forwards, Sebek moved to take the peach in a single bite, feeling Silver's fingers twitch as he pulled the fruit away. It made it so tempting to take those fingers into his mouth, to clean the honey and chocolate from them, and the thought was unbelievably heady.

Though before Sebek could even consider doing such a thing, Silver brought his hand back to himself and quickly cleaned his fingers. Sebek needed a moment to focus himself, chewing and swallowing the dessert in his mouth, as he was getting carried away. That had been something Silver said a while ago, that another person's saliva was weird, so the fact he even fed him by hand was already more than expected. He wouldn't make him uncomfortable like that, even if Sebek knew Silver's fingers would join the list of things haunting him.

Silver let out a little huff, wiping his hand on a napkin. “My fingers are still sticky, that was a mistake.” Despite his complaints Silver was smiling, and Sebek could only chuckle warmly.

“You enjoyed it. It's a small price to pay, surely.” Sebek murmured, his voice a little thick with the emotions he felt right now, and when Silver's smile only warmed further they grew worse.

“I did, but next time I'm using cutlery.” Silver shifted to stand, leaning forwards and pressing a slightly sticky kiss to Sebek's lips before moving away. “It's going to annoy me, I'll be back in a moment.”

Sebek watched him go fondly, wondering just how he got so lucky. This felt like a dream, and with how easy things were between them both Sebek was certain he'd managed to get something across to Silver. Maybe he was just blissful from the good company, but with how Silver kept smiling and flushing at him he was certain he'd managed to impress him.

But nothing had changed.

Everything was exactly the same the next day, and Sebek felt that void opening further as he thought he'd gotten his feelings across. Maybe Silver knew and was simply ignoring it, truly did hate being with him, and it made it exceptionally difficult to concentrate on anything whilst at work.

It was even difficult motivating himself to run the drills, when that was usually one of Sebek's favourite tasks at work. He had permission to be loud, it was an active and practical session, and Sebek had an eye for detail. He could correct posture and stance with ease, proud when his students succeeded, but today he could barely focus. 

All Sebek could think about was Silver in that candlelight, smiling at him with a quiet affection, and wondering if any of it was real.

Chapter Text

Silver had seemed in much brighter spirits after their date, but it of course didn't last, and when that strange melancholy returned it somehow seemed heavier than before. It hurt to see, hurt knowing Silver was so upset with something, and it hurt being unable to do anything about it.

He'd tried to ask about it again, but Silver again claimed he was just tired. That he was just stressed with work. Didn't he realise saying he was stressed would simply worry Sebek more? Especially as stress had caused Silver to collapse with a fever months ago.

That was the last thing Sebek wanted to witness again, but what else could he do but simply ask Silver what was wrong? If Silver wasn't going to let him in, how else was he meant to help?

Maybe things would be better if Silver spent more time around other people, not just Sebek. They'd arrived at his parent's house for the winter solstice a day early, to help with the preparations, so hopefully Sebek would learn if that were the case sooner rather than later. Frustratingly they were still in their fake relationship, and Sebek felt utterly lost on what to do about it, but he’d been more preoccupied dealing with Silver's dips in mood. It really didn’t help that his feelings refused to leave.

“I hope it's not too cramped, but you two will be fine sharing your old room, surely?” Sebek's mother had spoken when leading them upstairs to put their bags away. “Between your grandfather staying and Etta’s husband, we're a little short on space this time around!”

Sharing a bed with Silver would not be ok, because the bed in Sebek's childhood room was a single bed that would struggle to fit them both comfortably. Anytime Silver stayed over in the past he'd be on the camping bed, but clearly his grandfather would be on that instead if his sister was sharing her room with her husband. He doubted his brother would give up his bed for their grandfather, even if that were the polite thing to do, but Sebek realised Baur would have to share the floor space in Zachary's room.

There was no way he'd share a room with any of the three couples in the house, after all. The amusement he felt when he realised Zachary's predicament was short-lived when they were led into his bedroom, and that single bed stared back at him in mockery. Maybe he should go and purchase another camping bed, or sleep on the sofa, but he realised those were extremely weird actions for someone in a loving relationship to do.

His family simply didn't understand. Sharing a bed had been one of Silver's firm lines they couldn't cross, as he didn't want to fight Sebek for a quilt all night, and Sebek was trying to not panic. Especially when Silver just calmly started to unpack his things, grabbing the bag of presents and asking his mother where it would be best to leave them.

It was like he didn't care suddenly about sharing the small space with him, like that line simply didn't exist, and Sebek was utterly baffled. Although… there had been other lines Silver had drawn at the start of their fake relationship, and so far most of those had been crossed. Silver had said he hated kissing, and yet Silver likely kissed him more than Sebek did. Silver hated getting random gifts, but he'd bought Sebek flowers and adored it when Sebek bought him coffee.

He found pet names silly and strange, and yet called Sebek ‘dear’ more than his name. Hadn't minded it when Sebek had started calling him ‘dearest’.

It left a weight in his chest, and Sebek felt utterly trapped. He flinched when Silver moved to hold his hand, looking up at him with quiet concern. “Are you alright, dear?”

That pet name again threatened to drive him insane, but Sebek nodded quietly. His mother had left them both alone, so he could talk about this. “I'm simply concerned about the sleeping arrangements. I don't want you to be uncomfortable.”

Silver's concern softened, smiling gently as he stepped closer. “I'll be fine. I sleep through everything, and worse case we ask for a second set of bedding if you steal all the covers.” Silver's words had been full of mirth, the man genuinely uncaring about Sebek taking all the covers and jokingly expecting it, and Sebek had no idea how things could've changed so drastically in half a year.

Maybe Silver was lying and it would make him uncomfortable, and Sebek would keep an eye on that. Would make sure Silver was telling the truth and could actually sleep that evening. The day had passed by in a whirlwind of activity, with his siblings showing up and a group dinner, and Sebek had mostly forgotten about their predicament until that evening—which stared back at him the second they retired to his room.

There was an extra hurdle he’d not considered: getting changed into pyjamas, something that should be simple, but wasn’t as they simply didn't change around each other at home. They'd change in the bathroom, or their own separate rooms, and Sebek knew it would look strange if they were to rotate trips to the bathroom in order to change. His sudden concern had clearly caught Silver's attention again.

“Are you still worried about sharing a bed…? It'll be fine.” Sebek had shook his head at Silver's concerned question.

“It's getting changed.”

“Changed?” Silver's obliviousness was honestly something Sebek wished to have sometimes, as it would stop him getting so intensely worried over every little thing. It was starting to feel exhausting.

“Yes. We need to change into our pyjamas, but alighting to the bathroom will look strange. Yet I don't wish to make you uncomfortable by undressing around you.”

“Just… turn around?” Silver spoke like it was the most obvious solution, and his concern only grew. “Sebek, please, you're worrying me a little. You're stressing over the tiny things and I fear what will happen if something big does happen.”

That was a fair concern, considering Baur wasn't here yet. Baur would only show up at some point before gifts were exchanged on the winter solstice, stay the night, and then leave before dinner the next day. It was a routine they always followed, and it was that day which was liable to cause issues.

Though his grandfather accepted their relationship, and the rest of his family did, there was always the chance a snide comment from his older brother would set off an argument between him and his grandfather. Or his father could unintentionally cause one just by simply existing. That, on top of his messy situation with Silver, would be a lot to take in at once if he was already stressed out about them getting changed.

“I… I've a lot on my mind, I guess…” Sebek spoke, deflating a little as Silver directed them both to sit down.

“I'm here to listen.” Silver was always so reassuring, but Sebek felt a bitterness rise in his throat as Silver couldn't listen to what was troubling him. It'd ruin everything if he did. The head on his shoulder was particularly disarming, however.

“It’s really just a lot of small things, Silver… Primarily I just don't want to make you uncomfortable during this trip. I want you to finally be able to relax.”

“You need to stop worrying about me so much…” Silver spoke gently, his hand squeezing Sebek's, and he once again wondered when he'd taken it. Their hands just fit together so seamlessly. “Whenever you get worked up it's always because of me, and I keep telling you I'll say if I'm upset.”

You're not telling me what's wrong when you get sad. Sebek thought bitterly, his stomach tensing in response. What else am I to do but worry about you?

“I'll try. It's just difficult, Silver. I… I care for you so much that the thought of hurting you is unbearable.” Silver's hand started to caress his own gently, and Sebek felt a small shiver go through him at the quiet affection. There was a small silence, the pair just enjoying their moment of closeness together, before Silver shifted and spoke up.

“And I care for you as well, to the point where it's painful seeing you like this. I much prefer your smile…” Those words made Sebek flush with embarrassment, but he had to admit the compliment did make him smile a little. It hadn't been missed by Silver, who Sebek hadn't realised was looking at his face intently. “See? Like that. You look so much lighter like that, and your smile is beautiful.”

The compliments were making his chest spasm, Sebek's smile growing with his embarrassment, and he elbowed Silver in the side. “Quit it. We both know your smile is the beautiful one out of the two of us.”

Silver elbowed him in return, but there was a flush on his own cheeks and a quiet smile on his face as he moved to stand. He looked far too cute, Sebek smirking up at him in amusement, and there was no way Silver could talk his way out of the fact he’d enjoyed Sebek’s words. In fact he went with a different tactic altogether, collecting his pyjamas and dropping the subject entirely by gesturing for Sebek to turn around.

Although his words when doing so stuck with Sebek. “I don’t exactly care if you see me change, it’s just some skin after all, but if you’re uncomfortable you should turn around.”

Sebek wasn’t uncomfortable with the idea of seeing Silver change. In fact he wanted to do so badly, and Sebek was a little lost when Silver just so casually turned around and pulled his jumper off. It was unfair, really, just how attractive Silver was. His shoulders were broad, but not overly bulky. He was slim, but exceptionally toned, and honestly Sebek was a little jealous at how well Silver had trained his body. Then there was his waist, his thin and muscular hips which Sebek still itched to hold at times.

And despite how masculine, how strong and powerful Silver’s form was, it still somehow looked delicate. His pale skin was smooth besides the occasional scar he’d collected over the years. Sebek could tell the story for each and every one, had been there for most of them, and it left something warm and nostalgic behind in his chest.

A quiet laugh cut Sebek from his thoughts, Silver in his pyjama top already, as he’d turned around and seen Sebek staring into space at him. “For someone who didn’t want to make me uncomfortable, you realise staring unblinkingly at me isn’t the best course of action, right?” Sebek knew Silver was teasing, the amusement obvious in his voice, but Sebek turned away and moved to grab his own pyjamas with a grumble.

He was steadfastly ignoring how hot his face felt, and ignored whether Silver could be staring at him in return when he moved to change. Not that Silver would, like the man had said it was just some skin, but Sebek briefly entertained the idea. Would Silver also know the story behind each of his scars? Would he want to run his hands across his back and hold him close? The idea of him doing so had Sebek closing his eyes, his skin tightening, before he told himself to drop it.

They needed to get changed, and then try to sleep, even if Sebek was still unbelievably worried Silver wouldn’t be comfortable enough to do so. However his worries had been immediately proven wrong. Sharing a bed between the two of them was difficult, sure, but not for the reasons he’d imagined. They weren't fighting over the covers, or elbowing each other for space. In fact it wasn’t even difficult for them both, as Silver had snuggled in close with a tired sigh and passed out almost instantly. Like always.

No, the problem had been the fact Sebek could not get to sleep with Silver there. His heart was trying to run a marathon, he didn't know where to put his hands, and all he could smell was Silver's floral scent. He could feel how warm he was, how soft he was, and Sebek wanted nothing more than to hold him to his chest. 

The line was blurry, as it had been for far too long, and Sebek felt like crying. He didn't know what to do, yet knew what his heart wanted to do, and Silver was unable to help him make the correct decision.

It had taken a lot of courage to wrap his arm around Silver, and Sebek had almost stopped breathing; it had been so suddenly overwhelming, but so suddenly wonderful, especially when Silver subconsciously shifted closer. The quiet atmosphere, and Silver a warm comfort in his arms, did eventually settle his nerves even if Sebek was struggling to contain his affections for the man in his arms.

He loved him, and he didn't know how to fix this. Any of this. Their fake relationship was everything Sebek could have ever wanted, but he couldn't ignore the fact it wasn't real. If he admitted to the truth, Silver would be disgusted in him. Those gentle smiles, those soft affections, they'd vanish immediately.

Sebek knew he was taking advantage, and he needed to stop, but the very thought of losing this hurt too much. He'd never felt like this before, never loved someone so deeply, and he wasn't sure he could deal with the heartbreak.

Though he also wasn't sure when he'd fallen asleep, waking to Silver's obnoxious alarm clocks (as of course he'd brought multiple with him), and immediately he wanted to get back to sleep. He felt groggy, and uncomfortable, and as soon as Silver shifted—how he had woken up so quickly Sebek would never know—he let the cold air in, and Sebek could’ve screamed. He’d tried to tug Silver close to him, back into the warmth, and that had just pulled tired laughter from Silver instead.

Of course Silver hadn’t been moved closer, either, instead turning off the alarms and leaning over to press a kiss to Sebek’s temple. That at least encouraged Sebek to finally open his eyes, his chest fluttering at the soft attention, and it only grew worse when he saw Silver sitting next to him in his rumpled pyjamas—hair loose and messy—as he smiled warmly at Sebek.

“Hey. Sleep well?” Silver’s voice was thick with sleep, and Sebek had shifted to sit upright as well even if a shiver rushed through him in the process. Unintentionally, Silver had acted like his personal heater, and Sebek severely wanted to return to the safety of the covers, but he knew doing so was a terrible idea. For once Silver was awake on time, and crawling back into bed would make that entire feat pointless. 

“It took a bit, but I fell asleep in the end. You?” Sebek had grumbled, fussing a little with his hair and realising it was a lost cause. He’d need to bathe and sort it properly before his grandfather arrived. Sebek watched as Silver stood, the man stretching in the process and showing the briefest sliver of skin at his stomach, before he let out a yawn.

“N-Never slept better.” The yawn was still in his voice, and Sebek made a note to get him some coffee before he went for his shower. It was inevitable Silver would fall asleep at some point today, but he knew Silver would prefer to stave it off as long as possible. Though as Silver turned back towards Sebek, smiling on his way to the door, Sebek felt unsteady over how unbelievably comfortable Silver looked in that moment. How happy he looked. “Happy solstice, Sebek.”

Smiling warmly in return, Sebek rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he responded. “Happy solstice. It only gets lighter from here.”

—

Silver had been strangely energetic all day, and Sebek wondered just how excited he was for the winter solstice celebrations. He’d eagerly helped Sebek’s father out in the kitchen, had helped his mother with some last minute decorations (which had mostly just been sorting presents out into piles), and he surprisingly hadn’t flagged yet. It was wonderful to see, even if it left Sebek feeling a little uncomfortable imagining what Silver’s other solstices had been like. Maybe he was so excited because he got to celebrate for once, and Sebek was determined to make this a positive one for him.

Not that it seemed he had to try hard at all. Silver was beaming whenever they were together, and even the expected nerves which followed on Baur’s arrival didn’t dampen his joy. They’d all gotten situated in the livingroom, even if it had turned into a task figuring out where people would be sitting. His sister had wanted to sit near Silver, but his brother didn’t want to sit near Baur, and Baur refused to sit near his father.

In the end, Sebek and Silver had sat on the floor to give everyone else enough room, and Silver had made the excuse that they were the youngest so the floor wouldn’t be too bad. Sebek had leered at him for the suggestion, as although they were certainly the youngest two in the room, they were both nearly thirty and Sebek’s back was immediately furious with him being sat down without support.

“It’ll be too much time sitting at your desk.” Silver had teased when Sebek grumbled about it, and that had caused Sebek to start shouting in protest. He hadn’t intended to be the first to raise his voice all day, and his sister had teased him about it throughout the gift-giving. It had started with her joking that certain gifts would be helpful for Sebek’s back, regardless if they could even be used in such a way, and had ended with her acting like he was geriatric.

Sebek had been grumbling to himself by the time the gifting had moved over to him and Silver, the latter bumping him slightly to get his attention.

“Um. Here you are, Sebek.” Silver’s voice was soft, as though he were trying to keep his voice between them both even if Sebek's entire family were watching. The present he handed over was neatly wrapped in dark green paper, with a light green ribbon, and the shape was obviously that of a bottle.

A part of Sebek wanted to chastise him for not bothering to put it in a box to disguise the gift, but even knowing it was a bottle didn't give Sebek the slightest idea what this would be. Plus, the idea of chastising Silver when he was looking at him with such unguarded affection was the last thing he wanted to do.

Ripping the paper, Sebek discovered the bottle had been sealed with wax, so it was going to be something alcoholic, and the colour of the liquid was a golden amber hue—which also explained the wax. This was a bottle of mead, which was a little baffling, but Sebek had to admit he liked the sweet alcohol. Though as he examined the bottle—which was definitely some kind of artisan brew—a small detail caused Sebek's chest to tighten.

It had been flavoured with meadowsweet flowers, and Sebek didn't think he could speak through the growing tightness in his throat.

“I, um, saw the bottle and well…” Silver was clearly nervous, taking Sebek's silence as a negative, as he tried to explain himself. “I-I didn't know those flowers used to be called meadsweet? As they were originally used to flavour mead. I thought, um…”

“I adore this, Silver. Genuinely, thank you so much.” Sebek spoke fondly, his throat still tight and his eyes feeling damp, as the ache in his chest only grew. It was their flower, a small unassuming thing that meant something only to them, and Sebek felt like crying. This was the most romantic gift he'd ever been given, and they weren't even together.

Still, Sebek could just imagine an evening sharing this bottle with Silver. They'd snuggle up together on the couch, light the fire for once and sip this sweet drink together. Maybe it'd be nice warmed up, so they had the excuse of huddling under a blanket with a mug each, and they'd share equally sweet kisses. Equally warm caresses.

Maybe it'd be real.

“I can't wait to share this with you, this is really thoughtful.” Sebek spoke fondly, and the way Silver's expression lit up made him want to melt. He looked so happy, so pleased by the simple idea of spending time with Sebek, and he couldn't feel luckier to have such a wonderful partner.

A friend, not a lover.

Sebek ignored the heaviness in his lungs, and moved to give Silver his own gift. “Happy solstice, Silver.” As Silver moved to take his gift, Sebek was both excited and nervous for his reaction. He'd put a lot of thought into it—more than every other gift he bought this year—and he was certain it would be appreciated but… there was always a chance he'd be wrong.

The ribbon was removed, the paper following shortly after, and Silver was looking at the pair of leather gloves Sebek had commissioned in surprise. They were primarily sword gloves, and had embroidered filigree along the arm cuffs in the shape of swooping birds, and Silver slowly started to smile over that alone before Sebek took a steadying breath.

“The right gauntlet. It's, well… look inside?” Silver had curiously done so, his expression brightening, before he slid the glove on.

“You… You can't even tell.” Silver half-mumbled, flexing his hand in various directions and Sebek was just relieved to discover it fit. He figured it would, he'd gotten measurements for Silver's brace and his usual gauntlets, but there had still been an anxiety hovering over him.

“I… know you don't like wearing your brace, so I thought… if it looked like a regular pair of gloves, you'd feel more comfortable using that support when you needed it. And the support can be taken out, too, so you don't have to worry about over reliance either.” Silver had put the second glove on whilst Sebek spoke, his expression softening further at his words.

“Sebek, thank you for this. It truly means a lot to me.” A hand came out to hold his own, the glove feeling comfortable against his own hand as well, and Sebek smiled warmly back at Silver. The other man's expression had grown warmer, Silver shuffling closer as he leant forwards to kiss him tenderly in thanks.

Sebek had expected that would be it. However, when Silver pulled back his gaze quickly grew hooded. He leaned closer again, half-nuzzling against Sebek's nose, and the half-fae found his own gaze heating with the proximity of a man he was far too enamoured with.

Those lips returned, timid at first before pressing firmer, before Silver's lips slowly moved and Sebek felt a swipe of tongue and—

A short cough from his brother reminded Sebek that his entire family were in the room, that it wasn't just the pair of them in their intimate little bubble, and they jerked back from each other. Sebek's cheeks were heated, Silver's dusted pink with his own embarrassment, and he apologised quietly.

“Sorry… Um. I'm glad you liked the gift, Silver.”

“I'm glad you liked mine as well.” Even if his voice was steadier, Silver spoke quieter and wasn't looking at Sebek. In fact he didn't look at him for a while after, mostly looking at his gloves and idly trailing along the embroidered birds on them.

Despite Sebek’s best efforts, Silver still ended up falling into that quiet sadness again. He barely spoke, kept looking with and playing with his gloves, and a part of Sebek feared he didn't actually like the gift. Didn't appreciate the fact Sebek got him something that acknowledged his handicap and was meant to support him, and presented it in front of his entire family. Maybe he felt embarrassed, or ashamed, but this quiet sadness was familiar.

Painfully so, seeing as Sebek encountered it several times a week at this point.

It had lasted all afternoon, and the entire meal as well, even if Silver did engage when spoken to. Though he replied with short sentences and barely seemed to be listening, and when they all headed through to the living room after dinner, Sebek stayed back to help his mother clear the table.

“Sebek…” His mother spoke up gently, her voice quiet as he collected cutlery. “Is everything ok with Silver?”

The concern was also felt by Sebek, his chest aching that it was obvious to others and not just him, and he glanced briefly towards the living room. Silver was likely sitting there quietly, that cloud stubbornly remaining over him, and Sebek had no idea how to help.

“I don't know… He's been like this a couple months now, and he's not talking to me about it.” The fact Silver was shutting him out was devastating, Sebek's soul aching at the reality of the situation. He wanted to help his friend through whatever was hurting him this much, but he couldn't do so unless Silver let him in.

A kind hand came to his arm, a reassuring squeeze, and Sebek let some of the tension bleed out of him when his mother spoke gently. “Just be there for him. Keep supporting him as you are, and let him know you're there. He'll confide in you, I'm sure.”

Sebek wasn't sure that was true, but what else could he do? Confronting Silver would stress him out, and cause him to close off even more, but waiting for Silver to work through this alone was painful to watch. What if his problems were only getting worse? 

He didn't know what to do, and it was killing him seeing Silver like this. He didn't want Silver to get ill again, and he didn't want Silver to suffer alone.

—

The evening had gone by with only one argument, and blissfully it had been between his siblings and not his grandfather who’d spent most of the day sat scowling in an armchair. Sebek knew he’d enjoyed himself despite appearances, and honestly the day had been a huge success if you ignored Silver’s mood that hovered over him towards the end of the day. Silver had ended up falling asleep over a boardgame the family had sat down to play, and despite being woken up had drifted off several times with his struggle to stay awake. It got to a point where his family suggested Sebek take Silver to bed, and he was thankful they hadn’t drunk a lot because carrying Silver upstairs was a new difficulty Sebek never wanted to go through again.

Still, he’d managed to get Silver awake long enough for the man to change, and Sebek had followed suit—struggling to get to sleep once again whilst Silver slumbered on without issue. He wasn't sure when he finally did fall asleep, but Sebek eventually found himself stirring to the quiet sound of… sniffling? Something felt odd, and Sebek blearily opened his eyes before realising what was wrong.

Silver was laid on his back, Sebek laid half atop him whilst Silver held him uncomfortably tight. The sniffling was coming from Silver, the man's grip shifting in Sebek's jumper, and Sebek tilted his head to try and look at him.

It was difficult this close up, but there was no mistaking the sound of Silver crying to himself—trying desperately to be quiet as he clung to Sebek in comfort.

“Are you… alright?” Sebek spoke gently, almost cursing his stupidity as of course Silver wasn't ok if he was laid there crying. The man seemed to stiffen, clearly unaware Sebek had awoken, before letting go of him and immediately shifting away. The rejection stung.

“Oh, i-it’s nothing…” Silver muttered, sniffling and rubbing at his face. It certainly didn't look like nothing to Sebek, who leered at him in disbelief. “Just the usual nightmares, I-I’ll calm soon.”

…Nightmares? Sebek's concern didn't settle at all like Silver had clearly hoped, in fact it grew worse at the implication this was a regular thing. If the nightmares resulted in him regularly crying like this, that certainly didn't sit well with him. Especially at the knowledge this had been happening whilst they lived under the same roof, whilst Silver slept in a room just across the hall from him, and Sebek was ashamed he had no idea about it.

“How long have you been having these…?” Sebek spoke softly, moving to lightly wipe away some of the tears Silver had missed on his face. There had been a pause, Silver stiffening slightly, before he spoke.

“A while.” It was meant as a deflection, and Sebek was sick of those. They lied enough with everyone else, and he was getting exhausted over being shut out.

“Silver… How long is ‘a while’?” Sebek moved to hold Silver's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze, and he watched as Silver glanced away with another sniffle. He worried he'd just go quiet and refuse to answer, like he'd been doing for months now, but if Silver's reoccurring low mood was being caused by these nightmares then Sebek would try anything to help.

“Since… Malleus’ overblot. Th-They’re about that.” Silver eventually rasped, and Sebek's eyes widened in surprise, the air in his lungs turning cold, because that had happened ten years ago.  

Silver was still struggling with it? Had been quietly struggling, alone, for over a decade? Sebek held his hand tighter, and shuffled closer to try and catch Silver's attention.

“Will talking about the particulars help? That's… A really long time to be suffering alone, Silver.”

Shrugging, Silver glanced away and Sebek figured he wouldn't talk about it, would consider it too painful or too vulnerable to speak aloud, but when he brought his nervous gaze back, Sebek held his breath.

“What if it was… e-everything?” Sebek felt his chest twist with despair, at the fear in Silver's voice, and he pulled Silver against him into an embrace. He needed Silver to know he wasn't alone in this, in every way he could possibly tell him.

“Then I'll listen to it all. Start from the beginning, if you must.” Every time he spoke, Sebek was terrified he would say the wrong thing. The idea of comparing Silver to a startled wild animal felt insulting, but he looked so skittish right now and could barely keep his gaze on him. So when he started speaking, Sebek didn't want to make any sudden movements.

“A common one is, um, not being able to reach Malleus in time. Th-That he'll suffer alone, and I can't reach him. That he'll shut me out. I keep trying to reach out, and I feel it's easier now than it ever has been, but I still fear that sudden wall of thorns again.” Silver’s expression grew tight, a small frown on his face as he finally looked away from Sebek again. “It's foolish, I know, but I don't want to ever have to fight to reach him. Especially not fight him. I don't want him to be alone anymore.”

It was strange how Sebek had assumed these nightmares would be Silver fearing for his own life, but instead his first concern was for someone else's wellbeing. Giving Silver another small squeeze, Sebek spoke just as gently. “It's not foolish. It's admirable that you care so much, even if you shouldn't let that haunt you…”

A slightly bitter laugh left him, and Silver moved to tuck his hair behind his ear. “I-I’m too young to feel this haunted, I know… It just doesn't seem any easier still.”

“Have you spoken to Malleus about this?”

Shaking his head, Silver looked back at Sebek with a fatigue he'd never seen before on him. “There’s not much point. The nightmares aren’t just about Malleus, after all. The… The most stressful ones are about losing you.” 

That was unexpected, Sebek taken aback for a moment, but Silver didn't seem to notice as he continued speaking. “It's that… Th-That moment I could have lost you. When I saw your shield go flying, saw you o-on the ground, I—”

Silver inhaled sharply, his gaze growing distant, and it was plain as day how much that moment still terrified him. “I-I was so scared. I… I-I just moved and o-obviously it didn't go well. I wasn't thinking, it's why I wasn't holding my sword properly, it's why my arm broke, it's why—”

Sebek felt his guilt growing as Silver's panic worsened, and he tried to get his attention. “I'm sorry,” Sebek rasped, “I shouldn't have scared you like that, I should've been stronger, I… I-It's my fault your arm gives you so much trouble, so please don't blame yourself.”

As Sebek spoke, Silver's gaze softened slightly, his panic somehow soothed by his words. Either that or he was able to settle himself in the face of Sebek’s own upset. “I-It wasn’t your fault, Sebek.” With a slight hesitation, Silver shifted how he was laid, shuffling back slightly so he could lift his right arm between them both. The arm that gave him nothing but trouble, and served as a constant reminder of that terrible moment in their lives. There was a pause before Silver rotated his forearm slowly and methodically.

“I can twist my arm until about… here.” Silver kept moving his arm until he winced quietly, and Sebek felt his guilt growing worse, wondering why Silver wanted to even tell him this. “Any further and it really hurts. But.”

That same arm moved forward, his hand cupping Sebek's cheek softly, as Silver's gaze filled with so much tenderness it was almost overwhelming. There was so much weight behind that gaze, and Sebek couldn't breathe under the force of it. “I'd give up my entire arm if it meant that you were still here, safe and unharmed.”

A shudder went through Sebek, his throat closing around a whimper as he nuzzled into Silver's hand. He could feel himself shaking, and Sebek was trying desperately not to cry because this wasn’t about him. “I-I still hate knowing I'm… I'm why you're in so much pain sometimes.”

Silver shook his head. “I like the pain.”

Sebek was, quite honestly, baffled by that statement, but Silver thankfully elaborated. “Not… the pain itself, of course not, but the fact it hurts lets me know you're alive, lets me know we succeeded. It's… grounding, especially after a nightmare, having that physical sign that I saved you.”

The fact Silver was in pain still sat heavily on Sebek's shoulders, but he hadn't thought of it like that. Silver shouldn't be in pain, of course not, but what would be worse: having those terrible nightmares with no evidence Sebek had made it out unscathed, or having an aching arm as a reminder? The idea of Silver having to regularly check on him in the middle of the night, just to ensure he was still alive and he hadn't dreamt the last ten years, was beyond devastating to imagine.

That fear was still a heavy burden on Silver's mind, and when his hand finally left Sebek's cheek, he knew this wasn't going to be his last burden. In fact, with how quiet Silver had grown, how he'd moved to fuss with the ends of his hair, he could make a pretty good guess what the last burden would be.

Losing his father was traumatic for us all, but I never… checked in with him. Sebek hated his inaction more than anything in the world, but when Silver spoke his words were unexpected.

“I… I keep my hair long to combat the last nightmares.” Sebek's expression twisted with his confusion, and Silver hunched in on himself in response, clearly thinking his coping mechanism was weird. The length of hair he'd been fussing with, Silver held out between them both.

How three words could completely change Sebek's entire world view, he didn't know, as they weren't even powerful words. It was a simple statement, not an ancient incantation, and yet they changed everything.

“It's still silver.”

He's… using his hair to know whether Lilia is still alive.

“I… do not want to know what will happen when it is no longer silver, but for now it is, a-and that's enough. Father can be free to do whatever he wishes, can forget birthdays, forget to send his love, forget to even contact us for months… because I know. Th-This is physical evidence a-and that's enough.”

Silver was trembling, staring at his hair as he twisted it anxiously between his fingers, and Sebek didn't want Silver to see the colour change again. Ever. A thought came to mind, that the blessing was simply that of a nocturnal fae, and he wondered whether… the blessing of a half-fae would do the same.

If Sebek changed the colour back to silver, it wouldn't change the fact it had again turned gold. Wouldn't change the fact Lilia was gone. But… Silver wouldn't have to live with the permanent reminder that he was alone. Because Sebek would be with him instead.

Maybe… you can ask him about it, one day.  

For now, Sebek moved to pull a trembling Silver close to his chest, and he wasn’t surprised when Silver finally burst into tears. Sebek just held him tighter, speaking into Silver’s hair. “You should talk to your father about this, Silver.”

The man shook his head, but with how pressed into Sebek he was, it almost looked like he was nuzzling him instead. “I-I don’t w-want to burden h-him.”

“Silver. I’m serious. You keep… You keep putting everyone first, you never say what you want or need, and it’s obvious you need Master Lilia to just… just put in some effort.” Sebek had grown a little frustrated with his words, the tone causing Silver to stiffen, and he exhaled to try and calm down because he wasn’t angry with Silver. “He’s not in the country again, right? What would you be doing right now if you hadn’t come here with me?”

Silver was sniffling, pressing his face more into Sebek’s chest with a reluctance to speak. “Answer me, Silver. We both know the answer.”

“I-I’d h-have spent it alone…” The words were expected, but they still caused Sebek’s heart to constrict. He held Silver tighter, moving to stroke along his back in comfort.

“Exactly. You shouldn’t just accept that. You… you deserve to ask for things you want, so tell Master Lilia you want him around more. That you want to spend the solstice with him, want to spend birthdays with him, and just want him in your life! That’s not a bad thing!” Those words had just made Silver cry more, the man clinging perhaps a little too tightly to Sebek’s back, but he wasn’t going to reject Silver. Not now. Not when he was finally opening up a little.

Although it hurt that doing so just caused Silver to cry, his sobs strangled and devastating to hear, and Sebek held him through his pain. He’d be there for him no matter what, and it felt like it took hours before Silver had started to calm down. Sebek’s jumper was soaked, and Silver’s face was puffy with how much he’d been crying, but he seemed better when he finally shifted to pull back from Sebek’s embrace.

He’d need some water, that amount of crying would lead to a headache otherwise, but first Sebek moved to start wiping the tears from Silver’s cheeks, now that he’d stopped actively crying. It was small, and watery, but Silver smiled in response to Sebek’s touch and the sight was almost too much. 

It gave Sebek courage he didn’t think he had. “I… want you in my life, Silver. I don’t want you to ever think I don’t want you by my side, that I’d be happier without you, as that will never be true. You’re my best friend, and I love you more than anything.”

Silver’s gaze had softened further, his smile widening just a fraction, and the man sniffed before he spoke in barely a whisper. “I… I want you in my life too, Sebek… I…” His voice was getting quieter, and Sebek hated how admitting to what he wanted seemed like such a difficult and foreign concept to Silver. “I’m so thankful to have met you.”

His voice had grown a little wet, and Sebek was suddenly worried he’d set Silver off crying again, but instead Silver moved to wipe at his face and moved to rest his head on the same pillow. They were so close like this, Silver looking at him like he was something to be cherished, like Sebek truly meant the world to him, and Sebek brought his hand up to stroke through Silver’s hair.

Watching as Silver closed his eyes, Sebek hoped he could encourage Silver to perhaps go back to sleep, but he knew it would likely be difficult. Sebek was always reluctant to go back to sleep after a nightmare, nevermind a repeat nightmare that Silver had been having for over a decade now.

After a moment, Sebek realised he was playing with some of Silver’s hair, letting the long silky strands slide between his fingers and knowing the weight each length represented. “Maybe you should cut it…?” Sebek started quietly, as he continued to idly play with his hair. “It might help with the weight.”

“Would… you like me with short hair?” Silver mumbled, his voice oddly quivery, and Sebek felt a tightness in his chest. Why would that matter? Why was that Silver’s first concern? They weren’t actually dating, his opinion wasn’t important even if they were, and yet… Sebek felt a nervous warmth flutter into his stomach.

“I think you looking happier would be nice.” Sebek finally dropped his hair, bringing his hand to gently cup Silver's cheek. “That's more important to me.”

Sebek watched as Silver's eyes fluttered shut, the man tilting into his hand, and when soft lips pressed to his inner wrist he felt every nerve along his arm tingle. The warmth in his stomach turned painful, and his tongue felt heavy as those ethereal eyes opened—sparkling in the dim light—and immediately locked with his own.

“I think… I should cut it.”

Chapter Text

Sebek was both surprised it had taken them so long to open the bottle of mead Silver had gifted him, and surprised they were opening it so soon. They’d only been back in their apartment for a few days, the rest of the family solstice gathering having gone off without a hitch, and without Silver falling into another quiet mood. Though Sebek had needed to talk Silver into taking more of his annual leave—he’d seriously intended to go straight back to work—and he was thankful he'd succeeded as it meant they got to spend another holiday just between the two of them.

It was the eve of a new year, and they'd wrapped up warm and planned to watch the fireworks when Sebek had returned with a blanket, his bottle of mead, and some glasses. Silver had raised a brow at him, clearly confused, but Sebek simply beamed at him in return.

“To help stave off the chill.” Sebek spoke, draping the blanket over them both before pouring them each a glass. Silver snorted softly when handed his own.

“You definitely know alcohol makes you colder, not warmer. Father said so repeatedly when we reached drinking age. It's basic survival.” Despite explaining why it was a terrible idea to drink, Silver sipped at his glass—his eyes lighting at the taste. “Oh wow.”

“Is it good?” Sebek asked, shifting to get comfortable with his own glass, even if that involved shuffling close to Silver so the man was pressed against his side. He fit so perfectly there, and Sebek shivered when Silver placed his head on his shoulder.

“It's like… vanilla? And almonds. And something weirdly herby, now that I think about it…” Silver trailed off, but despite that realisation he moved to take another sip. 

“It'll taste like a herb because it is a herb, Silver.” Sebek couldn't help but chuckle, and Silver sat upright in confusion. The loss of his head was a small disappointment.

“A herb? I thought it was a weed.”

Sebek’s laughter spilled forth again, the man shaking his head. “I mean, anything can be a weed, technically. A weed is just a wild plant growing anywhere in competition with cultivated plants. If we planted meadowsweet, it wouldn't be a weed.” 

Something about what he'd said made Silver go oddly quiet, like he'd said something completely profound and it completely changed Silver's world-view. Either that, or he was falling asleep, and when Silver smiled such a small, pleased smile, Sebek figured whatever it was wasn't negative.

“We should plant some.” Silver murmured to himself, before he nodded towards Sebek's drink. “You should try it for yourself already. It is your gift, after all.”

“I was waiting to see your reaction. I don't want to get poisoned if I can help it.” Sebek teased, and when Silver elbowed him in the side he couldn't stop his laughter from spilling forth.

“I wouldn't buy you poison, Sebek.”

“Debatable, you're a Vanrouge.”

“Sebek!” Despite his complaints, Silver was giggling to himself, and Sebek was smiling when he moved to drink some of his own glass.

Silver had been right, and it did taste of something distinctly almond-like, with the sweetness of vanilla, but Sebek was mostly just taken away by how sweet it was. The floral flavours from the meadowsweet accentuated the floral notes in the honey, and it was an incredibly smooth mead. It was almost syrupy, and when he immediately went to take another drink, Silver was still giggling softly to himself.

“I take it you like it, then?” Sebek just nodded, taking another sip, and the warmth just grew in Silver's gaze. Being able to cause Silver to look at him with such endearment so easily was something Sebek would be forever thankful for.

“This is really good. Why did this ever stop being popular?” Sebek was looking at his glass in question, curious about how something so tasty could ever have fallen out of fashion, and he knew he'd likely look it up later. If a question got stuck in his mind, Sebek had to find the answer.

“Well, maybe it's just that mead in general grew out of fashion?” Silver spoke softly, causing Sebek to look at him in mock offense.

“Are you saying I'm old-fashioned?” The slow smirk that tugged at the corner of Silver's mouth was, frustratingly, attractive. Or maybe it was the way his eyes had narrowed slightly, bright with a teasing confidence only Silver could pull off.

“I didn't say that, but…” Silver's voice was drawn out, the man leaning against him almost like a pleased cat that knew he could get away with anything. Frustratingly Silver was correct in that assumption. “If the shoe fits.”

Sebek nudged him off his shoulder, and Silver's bright laughter made his heart skip when he should've been annoyed.

“Keep acting like that and you won’t be getting any more of this.” Despite his grumbling complaints, Silver had managed to settle back against Sebek's shoulder with a pleased sigh. Things were always so easy between them both, even if it sometimes came at his expense. “And I’ll take the blanket from you so you’ll have to sit in the cold until the new year.”

There had been a pause, Sebek wondering if Silver would actually be quiet for once in his life, but he of course couldn’t manage such a thing. Although he’d stopped teasing him, at least. “How much longer is it until midnight?”

Looking at his watch, Sebek hummed in thought. “About half an hour. Why? Are you getting sleepy?”

Midnight was far later than Silver usually stayed awake. The man was normally in bed by nine, which was even earlier than Sebek’s already early bedtime of half ten. It was a miracle he ever managed night shifts, and Sebek didn’t want to imagine how much coffee Silver had to drink to even attempt such a thing. The amount was likely unhealthy, and yet he’d still easily fall asleep the second he got home.

Silver’s sigh cut off his thoughts.

“You know it'll be a challenge to get me to midnight, Sebek…” Silver mumbled, perhaps a little melancholy. “I don't think I've… ever seen the year change, I've always been woken up when people realise I'd fallen asleep, which is long after the countdown and the opportunity to make a wish.”

Sebek rubbed his hand against Silver's arm, adoring how Silver shivered and pressed closer in the process. “I'm sure I'll find a way to keep you up, but… worse case I can make your wish for you?”

Silver lifted his head at that. “You'd give up your new year wish for me?”

“Of course. What do you intend to wish for?” There had been a moment where Silver had clearly been about to explain, his mouth opening and moving around silent words, but he'd cut himself off. Sebek brought his hand down to Silver's, squeezing it tightly in encouragement, but Silver eventually shook his head.

“No. If… If I say it out loud, it won't come true…” Silver's voice was quiet, and timid, and Sebek ached with the sound of it. The man was looking straight at him, those opalescent eyes almost yearning for something, and Sebek wanted nothing more than to ensure Silver's wish would come true.

“What do you want to wish for, Sebek?” Silver's question in return made Sebek pause, and immediately the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world came to mind.

That we'd be a real couple.

Sebek's eyes stung with the ache that followed that wish, but he didn't want to concern Silver. Instead, he shook his head quietly, leaning forward into Silver's orbit as though that would potentially temper the pain. “I want it to come true so badly, that I can't risk saying it out loud, Silver.”

“And yet you'd give such a wish up for my own?” Silver had leant forwards himself, their foreheads pressing together gently, and Sebek shivered as his gaze grew hooded.

“Of course I would.” Sebek whispered, brushing his nose against Silver's, and his heart spoke without permission once again. “I love you, that's why.”

There had been the smallest of sounds from Silver, something like a whimper or a whine, but it had been so short Sebek had strained to hear it. Silver moved his spare hand up to Sebek's cheek, the touch light and shaky, and Sebek couldn't help but shiver in response.

“I love you too, Sebek…” He sounded exhausted, and Sebek was worried he really would fall asleep before midnight. With a quiet hesitation, Sebek leant forwards—slow enough for Silver to have ample opportunity to pull back—and brought their lips together in a kiss. The hand at his cheek instantly moved to the back of his head, Silver’s fingers burying themselves into his hair, and Sebek could’ve groaned with the warm sparks of pleasure that ran down his spine.

Silver’s lips tasted of the mead they’d been drinking, and were more than a little addictive. They moved so seamlessly against his, their practice resulting in more than simply Silver being able to tolerate them—he was actually good at kissing. He was passionate, and warm, and Sebek found his hand settling on Silver's waist. Like always.

The shiver that went through Silver had been dizzying, and Sebek pulled him closer against him. He was so warm, and the blanket over them both simply added to the comfortable atmosphere. Made the night seem darker, the air outside their little bubble colder, and the last thing Sebek wanted right now was to part from Silver.

Though kissing for so long, his hand running along Silver's side as the man let out the softest of sounds, would always eventually grow uncomfortable. His lips ached a little, but the idea of pulling away hurt more. It was the last thing he wanted to do, and Silver seemed to share his opinion as he pressed closer when Sebek had pulled back a little to breathe—his exhales condensing in the air between them both.

A sudden, loud explosion startled Sebek, the man jolting and pulling back from Silver in his surprise, only to witness the sight of him bathed in blinding purple light. Quickly he glanced down at his watch, and was baffled by the time reflected back at him. It was the next year.

Silver recovered from the shock a lot faster, a wistfulness filling his face at the reality that he'd made it to the new year. Granted it had been via an entirely unorthodox method, making out with Sebek on their back garden bench, but he'd nethertheless managed it because of Sebek's assistance. Silver’s hand moved to his cheek, directing Sebek’s gaze back to him, before he whispered with a delighted adoration. “Happy new year, Sebek.” 

With that Silver had kissed him again, and Sebek closed his eyes and repeated his wish to himself with his entire being. He held Silver tighter to him, the longing and desperation he felt for his best friend almost too much to bear, and it only grew worse when Silver held him tightly in return. 

Another firework followed, and they'd separated again, but hadn't immediately turned to watch the colourful display. Instead Sebek had found himself staring at Silver, repeating his wish over and over again in the hopes it would come true. That Silver would turn to him and ask them to be together.

“Happy new year, Silver.” Sebek had spoken quietly, his voice thick with his affection, and there was no hiding it in his expression either. He wanted Silver to know, he needed Silver to know, and when Silver lit up with a green explosion, Sebek watched as Silver's gaze turned intense.

There was a moment between them both, Silver's eyes searching his face for something, and with how his expression had grown surprised, perhaps a little desperate, it almost seemed like he'd found it.

“...Are we…?” Silver's voice was so quiet Sebek likely wouldn't have heard it if it wasn't for his fae genes, and before he could even begin to comprehend those words, a sharp sound left Silver. His expression tightened, twisting slightly in pain, before he looked away. That wall suddenly between them.

If you dare tell me you're tired again.

Instead Silver said nothing, and moved to settle into Sebek's side to watch the fireworks. Sebek could feel a small tremor running through his body, and he didn't know how to help other than holding him tighter.

“Are you ok?” Sebek spoke in a whisper, and Silver nodded his head. For a moment he thought that'd be it, that Silver would quietly sit there until the fireworks stopped, but he mumbled in return.

“I'm ok… Let me just stay here, with you, a moment longer.” His hand tightened around Sebek's. “Just let me stay here.”

Something was twisting tightly in Sebek's chest, and he held Silver firmer to his side. “You can stay. Of course you can stay.”

—

Silver was hurting, and Sebek had absolutely no idea how to help him. Whenever he asked, Silver would claim he was fine, would try and force a smile—Sebek could obviously tell they were fake—before trying to continue on like nothing had happened. It took up most of Sebek’s thoughts when they were together, as it was becoming increasingly clear something was troubling Silver greatly. 

For a while he’d thought it was fine. The first few months of the year had gone by with only a couple of Silver’s negative dips to his mood, and Sebek had assumed it was due to the fact he was still trying to work through his nightmares. He'd had a couple, and had done as Sebek encouraged and quietly knocked on his door in the middle of the night. At first it had been annoying being woken so late, Sebek not understanding why Silver would be waking him up, until there had been a quiet request to share his bed.

Of course Sebek let him share. He offered to listen, and sometimes Silver would speak on the particulars, but often he'd just lay there quietly until he fell asleep again. Though he wasn't sure if he preferred him elaborating or not, as one night Silver had simply said ‘you died’ and didn't say anything else, and Silver's soul-weary voice had kept Sebek up all night.

Talking would always be a good thing, however. Silver had spoken to Lilia about them, with Sebek’s encouragement, and had ended up sobbing desperately in his father’s arms when he’d admitted to his fears. Admitted how he didn’t want to be alone anymore, why his hair was kept so long, and even though those tears had hurt to see, Sebek had been unbelievably relieved when Lilia apologised and promised to be around more.

Which he had, and he’d even helped Silver cut his hair. They’d joked briefly about cutting Silver’s hair as short as Sebek’s was, even suggesting a fringe like Lilia’s, but thankfully the duo had just been winding Sebek up. His hair had been cut a lot shorter, of course, but it was still longer than he’d worn it throughout his years at Night Raven College—sitting just above his shoulders. Although, Sebek had expected him to go for something simple. Silver had cut his own hair for most of his life, and really only knew how to cut his hair in one way, but he’d gone for something different now that he had help. They’d moved his parting, that errant hair that always liked to stick upright swooping more to the side instead, and the style looked a little asymmetric. 

His left side was a lot thinner than the right, and no longer blocked his face even if he still had those long swooping bangs towards the middle of his face. Apparently he’d liked how his hair looked when he braided one side—a style Sebek was painfully aware he himself adored—and had been inspired by it. Really, Lilia had done a fantastic job with it, as it looked a lot lighter and less like Silver had been trapped growing it out for a decade. The style made Silver look younger, but it was also absolutely terrible for Sebek to deal with.

As Silver looked beautiful. He usually walked on Silver’s left, and with the new style every time he glanced at the man he had an unobstructed view of his face. Of his high cheekbones, his defined jaw, those angular brows and piercing eyes all completely visible now it was no longer hidden behind a mountain of hair. He could so easily lean down to press a kiss to that tempting cheek, and Silver could easily press his head against Sebek’s shoulder without tugging his hair. 

It was like his hairstyle had been planned specifically with Sebek in mind, which was absolutely ludicrous, but everything about it just made their established habits easier. Silver could still tie his hair back in decorative braids (which Sebek adored), and it was so much easier to do now he wasn't swamped with so much hair. He could still keep it long and graceful (which Sebek adored), without having to spend hours each day just brushing and drying his hair. He could still tuck his hair behind his ears (which Sebek adored), and it caused the ends of his hair to bounce slightly when he walked, in a way that was utterly charming.

Even better still, Silver had seemed happier post the trim, which had been the thing Sebek adored the most.

Which is why it had been so painful Silver’s happiness hadn’t lasted. They'd booked time off together for Sebek's birthday, travelling to Sebek's family home for a few days, and were currently killing an afternoon wandering around the castle town together. Silver had tried to be subtle about it, suggesting they go on a date, but Sebek knew his mother wanted him out of the house so they could bake a cake and wrap presents for his upcoming birthday.

Still, he'd played along and gone with Silver without any fuss, and it had so far been a pleasant time. They'd gone to a café Sebek hadn't visited since they were teenagers, and he was utterly surprised the owner still recognised them both, until Silver pointed out the fact Sebek's distinctive hair hadn't changed in a decade. And Silver's hair colour was more than a little distinct.

Also they were literally always together.

They’d been squabbling a little at the table towards the end of their meal, Silver trying to get Sebek to try a coffee they both knew he'd hate, but it had been light-hearted—Silver giggling to himself as he held out a sugar cube.

“What if we sweetened it? I could ask if they have honey here. It'd be good to broaden your coffee horizons, and then you might finally get to drink coffee with Malleus.” Silver was obviously teasing him, as he'd repeatedly explained to Sebek his ‘long term goal’ to drink black coffee with Malleus was completely nonsensical.

“THAT LITERALLY WON'T HELP! IT NEEDS TO BE UNSWEETENED BLACK COFFEE SO SUCH A THING WOULD NEVER HELP!” Sebek was getting unintentionally loud, Silver wincing slightly at the volume as he gestured with a hand for Sebek to quieten down.

“Indoor voice, Sebek, there are other people—”

“Did you say ‘Sebek’?” A voice had spoken up suddenly, a man with short brown hair approaching their table, and Sebek felt his cheeks darkening as he figured he was about to have someone complain about the noise. It wouldn't be the first time. “Sebek Zigvolt?”

…Or maybe not? This man clearly knew him, but Sebek couldn't place him in the slightest.

“...Yes? And you are?”

“Oh, forgive me, my name's Elliot. Elliot Crathorne.” Sebek still wasn't placing the name, but the surname was familiar. His obvious confusion spurred Elliot to continue. “Our families were interested in you courting my sister last year, remember?”

The colour drained from Sebek's face. Of course he remembered. That attempted courtship had been the cause of probably the most difficult eight months of his entire life, and he was still not out of the situation yet. He was still stuck pretending with Silver, when he wanted nothing more than to make things real between them both.

“Ah yes. That. Did…” Sebek wracked his brain for a moment, trying to remember her name, “Did Anica take everything well…?”

Surprisingly, Elliot waved a reassuring hand. “Oh, she was fine, thanks for the concern. She's recently started seeing this guy, so she's certainly over it.” A snort left him, and Sebek watched as he shook his head in disbelief. “Honestly still surprised our parents thought a courtship would work in this day and age. Like don't get me wrong, you're a good looking guy, but you'd never met my sister? Aren't you like, a royal guard in the capital or something?”

“I am.” Elliot snorted again at Sebek's admission, and he had no idea why that would be funny.

“That's so different. Anica’s a jeweller who spends her free time reading sappy romance novels. I don't think you'd have much in common if you're skilled in magic, and sword fighting, and all that exciting stuff.”

“I… like romance novels. Quite a bit, in fact. Though I read most things.” Sebek had spoken up in defence of reading, and the assumption he wouldn't be an avid reader just because he was also physically active. Although he had to admit Elliot hadn't said anything too against reading, and he was surprisingly easy to talk to.

“Oh? I don't want to suggest our parents were onto something, but maybe you two would've been a good match after all…?” 

Sebek shook his head with some amusement. “Hardly, considering I’m gay.” It felt a lot lighter to say that now.

Elliot had seemed taken aback for a moment, which made Sebek briefly worry he wasn't going to take that information well, but he instead laughed warmly with some unknown joke. “I have to tell Anica that!! I'm gay too, and she's always trying to pull gay men. I personally think her standards are just too high!”

It was at this point Silver coughed pointedly, and Elliot flinched when he realised he was there. Though he turned to speak to Sebek with a slightly embarrassed laugh.

“Sorry, forgive me, who's your friend?”

“Boyfriend.” Silver had snapped, and Sebek had been taken aback with how cold he sounded. Silver's brows were furrowed, a frown on his face, before he continued just as coolly. “I'm Sebek's boyfriend, Silver Vanrouge.”

He sounded angry, but Elliot was either fearless or completely oblivious as he continued speaking. Again to Sebek, not Silver. “Oh, I didn't know you were dating someone…?”

“We've been dating years.” Silver’s voice was still full of venom, and Sebek was utterly baffled by it. “Now can you shove off? We're on a date.”

Sebek actually gaped at him, stunned Silver had been so rude, before he felt an embarrassed anger form in response. “What's gotten into you?!” Sebek snapped, glaring at Silver who finally stopped glaring daggers into Elliot. “The man's literally done nothing to deserve that, and you're being exceptionally rude. You should apologise this instant!”

“Sorry.” Silver spat, the apology sounding anything but sincere, but before Sebek could admonish him further for it, Silver abruptly stood up. “I'm going back to your parents. I'll see you whenever you're done.”

With that, Silver had stormed off, and Sebek stared at the swinging café door in utter confusion. That was a new development, and something didn't sit right with him, but there was no denying Silver had really annoyed and embarrassed him. 

“Is he… always like that?” Elliot had asked, looking at the door with some concern, and Sebek let out a long sigh.

“No. He's never like that.” There was a pause, and Sebek felt his chest growing flighty. “Maybe I should go check on him—”

Elliot held up a hand, stopping Sebek from standing. “I think you need a moment to yourself? I don't want to intrude or anything, but you’re, uh, literally shaking.”

That was a fair point, but the concern he felt towards Silver was starting to become unbearable, and Sebek worried at his lower lip as he stared at the exit. After a moment or two, Sebek let out a tired sigh, his hands still shaking. Maybe he should let Silver cool off, and he supposed being separated from him gave him a unique opportunity.

Their anniversary was coming up soon. 

It had been… a stupid idea of his to get Silver a gift for their fake anniversary, but he figured if anything would tell Silver that he loved him for real, it would be celebrating an occasion meant just for the two of them. Their fake relationship had started during that picnic after their knighthood, and Sebek remembered the date clearly. The twentieth of April. He had just over a month to find the perfect gift to give him, a gift that would tell Silver once and for all that Sebek was in love and wanted their relationship to be real.

“You look like there's a lot weighing on you. Mind if I sit here?” Elliot had spoken with genuine concern, the man gesturing to the empty space Silver had been in, and Sebek's chest twisted again. “Or I can stand. I'm not trying to replace him.”

“Why’re you so keen on helping me? What's the catch?” Sebek narrowed his eyes at the man, who sighed.

“I'll be honest, I'm mostly here for gossip. My sister will get a kick out of this, but I do genuinely want to help.” Elliot being so open like that did make Sebek snort, even if he didn't understand why he'd listen to a stranger vent just for the potential gossip.

“Our anniversary is coming up, and I want to get Silver something to show him how much I love him.” He'd been smiling at first, but after he'd finished speaking Sebek felt himself deflate a little. “Lately he's been really upset, and I've no idea why. I want to try and cheer him up, if I can.”

Elliot’s expression softened, the man smiling gently in thought, before something suddenly crossed his mind. His brown eyes lit up, and he sounded excited when he spoke again. “Oh! Why don't you speak with my sister? She does commissions! I'm sure she could make a personalised piece for you to give him!”

For a moment Sebek didn't know what Elliot was talking about, as he had no idea what Anica did, until he recalled he'd actually mentioned her craft. She was a jeweller, and the idea of a personalised piece of jewellery for Silver suddenly sounded like the perfect gift.

“I… might have an idea. Does she live far?”

“Like, ten minutes away, tops.”

—⚔—

“You really set up a picnic to celebrate?” Silver spoke with a quiet bemusement, following Sebek down an overgrown path towards the riverbank. “You know the ceremony was just a formality, right?”

On paper, celebrating their knighting ceremony when they’d been knighted years prior—on Silver's eighteenth birthday no less—was perhaps a little silly. But they'd never gotten the chance to celebrate it back then, the focus had been—deservedly—on Silver. On how he'd become a fine young man, and had finally been given the surname Vanrouge—blessed by none other than Malleus Draconia himself!

Their knighthoods had been a trifle in comparison, and even if Sebek had cried when their liege had named him the Knight of Lightning, he still hadn't wanted to detract from what was Silver's day. Besides, even if they had been knighted, they had yet to graduate Night Raven College, had yet to train under the royal guard, and had yet to receive their own positions within said guard.

This time, they'd been knighted as full members of the royal guard. They were no longer in training, and had been in charge of their individual regiments as full Colonels for around a year now! Considering their knighthoods, Silver was certain to be promoted to the rank of Lieutenant General! Sebek hoped to achieve the same, all things considered, but seeing as they weren't at war—and were both serving in Malleus' personal guard—the castle forces didn't exactly require two.

There had, however, been talk of the current General of the Right retiring in the next year or so… but Sebek would never dare to presume. They both had a way to go still, even if Silver's actions already made him worthy enough for such a position! It would be foolish to consider anyone else once the time came!

“Oh, wow. This… actually looks really nice.” Silver's words cut Sebek from his thoughts, the pair of them having neared the small area Sebek had chosen for their celebration. It was a small grassy patch by the river, the ground suitably dry and surrounded by wetland meadow. 

Though Silver hadn't spoken his words in awe, they'd been surprised, which was a huge distinction.

“WHAT EXACTLY IS THAT MEANT TO MEAN?!” Sebek shouted, indignant that Silver could think so little of him. To Silver's credit, the man didn't chastise him for his volume, instead simply sighing and moving to sit down on the blanket—gesturing around the area.

“What I mean is, how long did this take to even organise…? It's just us two, you didn't have to go all out.” Sebek squared his shoulders, taking a deep breath before starting his explanation.

“Hmph! It was a trivial matter! I scouted out the location a few days prior, after ensuring the weather forecast for today would be conducive to such an outing, and then prepared the site this morning. I, with the help of my mother, procured our food yesterday so it would be as fresh as possible for this occasion! Everything is packed within this basket, ready for our celebration!” 

Silver had taken the basket from Sebek whilst he rambled, only half listening as he looked through its contents. A bemused chuckle left him. “This is just a couple sandwiches, a quiche, some deli cheese and meats, some breaded eggs…”

His expression furrowed with confusion when he pulled out a bottle. “This is wine. Sebek, I don't know, I don't normally drink…”

“You don't have to drink it, but I will again remind you this is our celebration! We deserve to spoil ourselves!” Sebek had moved to start unpacking the few plates he'd brought with him, as well as the glasses for the wine. “After all, we are the youngest knights in the history of Briar Valley! An achievement no one has managed before us both!!”

“Well, that might change once more humans start enlisting in the guard…” Silver had mumbled, minimising their achievements and Sebek wouldn’t stand for it.

“Even so!! WE did it first! Even if more humans enlist, I am certain none of them will have trained with such dedication since their childhood! A knighthood isn’t handed out for nothing, Silver!!” Sebek moved to take the wine from Silver, opening the bottle and setting it aside—which made Silver stare at him in confusion. At least he’d stopped trying to put a downer on what should be a special occasion.

“Why are you just leaving it open…?” Sebek scoffed at Silver’s question, moving to unpack their sandwiches. 

“It’s red wine. It has to air first.”

“Air…?” Silver spoke with that same confused look on his face, and Sebek could have sighed. Instead, he handed Silver his own plate and started to explain.

“The flavours in red wine develop when in contact with oxygen. In order to experience the wine in the best way possible, this is a process that has to be carried out!” Sebek spoke confidently, even if he’d never read a book on wine making, and wasn’t much of a drinker himself. Clearly Silver realised this, as the man shook his head with a quiet smile on his face.

“This is your first time having red wine, isn’t it?” Silver spoke with a quiet amusement in his voice, and Sebek felt his face turn scarlet immediately.

“WH– WHY SHOULD THAT MATTER?!”

“It matters because you could hate it. We could both hate it, and you didn’t pack any other drinks.” Sebek felt his chest tightening with that growing embarrassment as, now that Silver had pointed it out, that was an obvious oversight.

“That– I WON’T HATE IT!!” Sebek shouted, feeling his face heating further as he hated the idea he’d messed up their picnic before it had even begun. “We won’t NEED any other drinks!!”

Something had shifted in Silver, the man’s teasing expression turning gentle, and he gave Sebek a small nudge to his side. “You’ve not ruined the picnic. This is really lovely, Sebek. Thank you for setting this up.”

How Silver’s words could always settle his nerves so easily, Sebek would never know, but he was glad Silver had done so. Had somehow noticed Sebek was genuinely getting upset, and had put a stop to his teasing immediately. It left the man smiling to himself, sitting up more confidently before moving to take a bite out of his sandwich. Silver had leant over to grab the wine, before pouring it into his own glass.

Sebek swallowed quickly. “But it needs to—”

“It’s not going to make a difference that we’ll notice, seeing as we’ve no idea what we’re even looking for.” Silver spoke calmly, before growing wary as he brought the glass up to his face. Clearly he worried it’d taste bad, trying to get used to the smell before taking a hesitant sip.

It became immediately obvious Silver liked it, as the surprise was clear on his face as he sat upright more. “Oh, wow, that’s actually really nice.”

Silver immediately held his glass out for Sebek to try, wanting to share the experience with him, and Sebek smiled warmly as he took it. It smelt oddly woody—was wine aged in barrels?—before he took his own sip. Saying a liquid had a texture felt odd to say, but Sebek had no other way to describe it. The liquid felt thicker than usual in his mouth, and had a pleasant fruity taste with a deep savory edge, and Sebek was amazed at how much he could taste the longer it sat in his mouth.

Sebek swallowed the mouthful as he handed the glass back to Silver. “You are correct for once,” Silver immediately elbowed Sebek for the slight, but he was smiling so it was clear he wasn’t actually mad at him, “the wine is delicious.”

Moving to pour his own glass, Sebek straightened and cleared his throat—Silver looking at him with obvious bemusement.

“Although you have already had a drink, so my entire toast is pointless now—”

“You had a drink too.” Silver cut in with a quiet laugh, and Sebek cleared his throat again and purposely ignored him.

“I propose a toast! To the pair of us!” 

Again, Silver spoke up. “Isn’t that a little conceited—”

“SILVER WILL YOU LET ME SPEAK?!” Silver’s bright, wonderful laughter started up, and Sebek wanted to be mad at him. Even if he narrowed his eyes at the man, it was impossible to be angry at him when he sounded so happy, and it helped that Silver knew when to stop teasing—gesturing for Sebek to continue.

“Thank you. As I was SAYING, I propose a toast! We have both worked tirelessly to get to this point, where we are both fully recognised as knights of the realm, and I am certain we shall continue to improve with time!” Silver was smiling quietly at him, and it was clear he was actually paying attention. No drowsiness, or distractions out of boredom, and it left Sebek feeling delighted as he continued.

“But, most importantly, we did so together.” Silver’s expression had shifted with a slight surprise, before it warmed into something affectionate. Sebek found himself smiling in return. “You are my greatest strength, Silver. My greatest friend, and I know if we are at each other’s side we will make it through any hardship! We will always push one another to improve, and will make our liege proud! We will make our families, and all of Briar Valley, proud to have witnessed our growth!”

Sebek was grinning widely as he continued, spurred on by Silver’s own smile and the bright determination in his gaze. “And we shall make each other proud!! I look forward to seeing the future we shall have, working together and challenging one another! To us!!”

“To us.” Silver repeated, smiling fondly as he brought his glass to Sebek’s with a sharp, bell-like clink.

Chapter Text

Meeting the woman he’d meant to be courting months ago was honestly not how Sebek had expected his day to go, and it made him question his parents’ taste. Well, he’d already questioned his mother’s taste for most of his life, considering his father, but really he didn’t think it extended further afield. Anica was a very short human woman (his parents considering a human for him to court was already a choice), with curly brown hair and plain brown eyes, and really even if she were male he couldn’t see himself being attracted to her. The woman had glasses, was unathletic, and came across as very demure.

Though he suspected he was being a little critical, and for no reason. Anica hadn’t been the one to suggest the courtship, and seemed happy dating her current partner, so he didn’t need to be so judgemental. And, really, Sebek was comparing her to Silver. That was entirely unfair competition. Silver held himself with a quiet confidence, had eyes unlike anyone else in the world, had a smile that would send his head spinning… No one could compare to Silver, and that fact made Sebek a little worried. What if this wouldn’t work out in the end? Silver simply couldn’t experience romantic attraction, would always see him as a friend, and that would be it.

Would Sebek spend the rest of his life comparing everyone to what he could’ve had? It felt unbelievably lonely.

Which is why he wanted so badly for Silver to appreciate his gift idea. If it would make Silver happy, if it could lift his mood even slightly, Sebek would be overjoyed. Despite how much he wished Silver would love him back, the only thing Sebek wanted was for Silver to be happy. If Silver didn’t love him back, but would accept Sebek remaining at his side as his dearest friend, that would have to be enough.

That had been a common thought of his lately, worried that their fake relationship and the forced romance was truly harming Silver. He’d looked into Silver’s situation, how he’d described experiencing the world, and had come across aromanticism. As someone who—embarrassingly—thought about romance regularly, the concept had genuinely been baffling, but it fit what Silver had said all those months ago. 

It had also allowed him to come across the idea of a ‘queerplatonic relationship’, and maybe… if things didn’t work out on the romance front, Sebek could bring up that concept with Silver. It was different for everyone, but from what Sebek understood it was a relationship that was different to friendship, and different to a romantic relationship, and the idea of having something like that with Silver made him ache. He wanted to commit to Silver, wanted whatever intimacy Silver would allow, and he could see himself spending his life with him in such a way. Even if it was just them both living together and occasionally cuddling on the couch.

Maybe his family wouldn’t understand, it had taken Sebek a lot of reading to understand it himself after all, but that didn’t matter to him. What mattered to Sebek was having a life with Silver in it, and he just hoped Silver felt the same. Sebek knew that thought was just his nerves, his unbearable worry that would often swamp him, making him feel that way. Silver had said he wanted him in his life as well, that he was thankful to have met him, and Sebek had to trust Silver. Even if it scared him.

Sebek had been walking back from what had, eventually, been an extremely productive conversation with Anica and Elliot, when his phone suddenly chimed. There were only a handful of people who texted him in the first place, and he was walking towards a house which contained the majority of them, so he was a little confused when he pulled his phone out.

Mother: When are you returning? Silver has locked himself in your room and isn't speaking to anyone. I suspect he's fallen asleep, but he looked upset. I had assumed you wouldn't be long behind him but it's been hours.

Those words made Sebek's chest spasm, and he looked at his watch and only felt worse. He'd been at the Crathorne’s for hours and hadn't realised, and the only positive thing about this situation was the fact he wasn't late for dinner. At least he could be certain his family had finished preparing for his birthday if they were essentially asking him to return.

There was no point texting back. The idea of walking back would just leave him uncomfortably anxious now that he knew Silver was still upset, so Sebek instead took out his magic pen and teleported to his family home. He walked in, making eye contact with his concerned mother—who was still holding her phone—before heading straight upstairs. 

His door was indeed locked, and Sebek gave it a quiet knock before calling out. “It's me. If you're awake, please open up.” Sebek waited for several moments, assuming he would have to open the door with magic as Silver was obviously going to be asleep, before he flinched at the sound of the door unlocking. When Silver opened it, Sebek's heart leapt into his throat, especially as it looked like he’d been crying.

The other man didn’t move the door any wider, didn’t even really look at him, and wordlessly moved back into the room to sit on the bed. Stepping in and closing the door behind him, Sebek felt nauseous with the heavy silence in the room. There were so many things Sebek wanted to say. He wanted to apologise for being out for so long, wanted to ask Silver what the hell was going on, wanted to ask if he was ok…

Instead, he moved to sit next to Silver on the bed, and held his hand palm-up on the bed between them both in quiet offering. It would be a lie to say he wasn't shaking, terrified Silver wouldn't reach out, but a timid hand slowly moved to hold his own. Silver's grip was loose at first, clearly worried he was doing the wrong thing, before his grip tightened as Silver exhaled sharply.

Sebek was utterly amazed Silver spoke up first.

“I shouldn’t have been so rude to that… man. I’m sorry for my behaviour.” Silver’s voice was quiet, and tight, and he still wasn’t looking at Sebek directly. Shaking his head, Sebek shifted just a little closer.

“I'm more concerned if you're alright, Silver. Elliot didn't take it personally.” The mention of Elliot's name made Silver duck his head, but Sebek had seen the man's expression crumple before he was able to hide it.

“Were… Were you…” Silver's voice broke, and he shut his eyes tightly, the grip on Sebek's hand loosening. It hurt more than anything to feel, but Silver didn't remove his hand even if he wasn't actively holding Sebek's. “I assume you spent the past couple hours with him, then?”

Silver was shaking, Sebek could see the tremble in his frame, and still Silver was avoiding looking at him. Squeezing Silver's hand, Sebek tried to pull him from his head, but the fog was clearly too thick.

“I did. We went to speak with his sister about something, and it took longer than I expected.” At the mention of Anica, Silver did lift his head slightly, but still didn't turn to look at Sebek. The heavy silence between them was swiftly driving Sebek into a worried panic. “Will you please speak to me? You're not ok, and I'm…”

Sebek felt his throat tighten with that growing anxiety, but he sat up straighter and took a steadying breath as he forced the words out. “I-I’m tired of being shut out, Silver. I can't help you if you won't let me, and I hate sitting here unable to do anything.”

“It's not your problem.” Silver spoke shortly, and Sebek felt his chest constricting. The hand holding Silver's was likely uncomfortable with how tightly he was squeezing it.

“It feels like it is! I– I can't just leave you whilst you're hurting so obviously, and the silence makes it feel like it's my fault!”

“It's not your fault!” Silver snapped, and Sebek didn't know whether he should feel relieved or not that Silver finally turned to look at him. “You didn't do anything, that's why I apologised!”

A sharp sigh left Silver, and his gaze drifted away again. Sebek felt like crying, as nothing was getting past this wall, and he didn't know what to do. “Just… leave it, Sebek. I'm too tired right now, and I'm acting up, and I don't want to argue.”

That hand finally slipped out of his own, and Sebek felt his heart splitting. He shook his head, his vision blurring with tears, and when he spoke he felt like a child. “Silver please. Please don't shut me out. I-I love you.”

Sebek heard Silver sigh, and the sound made him want to curl up. The words which followed, however, were unexpected. “And I love you, Sebek. Which is why I need you to drop it. I need… I need time, ok?”

Trying to settle himself, Sebek sniffled but gave Silver a hesitant nod. Sebek still couldn't see well, his eyes glassy with tears he was trying desperately not to cry, but when Silver brought a hand up to his cheek and brushed his thumb along his cheekbone, the soft contact disarmed him.

He started crying quietly, and even as Silver silently wiped his tears away, it felt like his heart was breaking.

—

Silver's misery was all Sebek could think about. There was a distance between them that hadn't been there in most of a year, and Sebek felt adrift because he didn't know how to help. Other people had asked about Silver’s mood, asked if everything was ok, and every single time Sebek hated how he had no answer for them. He didn't know if things were ok between them, he didn't know if Silver was getting better or worse, and he didn't know if others could help. Silver wasn’t telling him anything.

He always encouraged others to try and speak to Silver. If Silver was shutting him out then perhaps he'd let someone else in, but even Lilia had spoken on how his son was distant with him. Even Malleus had tried to speak with him and got nowhere—simply a tired smile and an apology for being a bother, but that he would eventually be fine.

Sebek wasn't sure if he would, or if things would be the same when he emerged from his mood. If they would be able to share affections so easily between them, or if Silver would still care for him the same—like he'd said all those weeks ago. Of course Sebek still cared for Silver, still loved him, and the fact he felt just as strongly even with the distance between them filled him with frustration. Why had he wasted so much time trying to explain away such a powerful and important love in his life?

Why had he even tried to not love Silver? Their lives were so interwoven, the threads of their history knotted and tangled together like a grand tapestry, and Sebek refused to let their future unravel. Sebek could not recognise his life before Silver, and did not want to imagine a life after Silver. 

So when the twentieth of April finally arrived, the commission he'd gotten from Anica wrapped up in layers of silver tissue paper, he decided a month was more than enough time for Silver to have been left alone. Silver didn't seem to realise the day was any different, the man sat quietly on the sofa in their living room reading through a stack of reports. If Sebek left him to it, he'd drift off before dinner and maybe wake up whilst it was still warm. He’d thank him for the food, or apologise for sleeping, and he was tired of watching Silver push him further and further away.

He wanted their evening snuggles, their coffee dates, their goodnight kisses. He wanted Silver.

Sitting next to him on the sofa, Silver didn't look up from his reading until Sebek cleared his throat. “Silver, may I have your attention for just a moment?”

“You already have it.” Silver murmured. For a moment he was still looking at his paperwork, but he placed it on the table shortly afterwards and turned to face Sebek directly. There was a ghost of a smile on his face, and Sebek wanted to coax life into it. He steeled his resolve and moved to pull out the small tissue envelope from his pocket.

“Today is our anniversary…” Sebek spoke gently, trying to not let the adoration he felt in that moment overwhelm him. “I got you a gift, Silver. To celebrate.’

There was a moment of surprise on Silver's face, Sebek realising once again that this was a rather stupid idea, and he feared Silver wouldn't want the gift. It was jewelry, after all, and Silver didn't wear any. He'd also sprung this on him unexpectedly—Silver wouldn't have remembered the date of their picnic—and there was a chance Silver would feel guilty for not getting him something in return.

Instead, Silver's expression softened, and there was an even softer smile on his lips as he moved to take the paper from Sebek. His eyes widened a fraction, clearly surprised the gift was heavier than the light paper made it appear to be, before holding it close to him like it was something to be cherished.

“Thank you, Sebek.” His voice warbled slightly, like it was a monumental effort to speak such quiet words. “You didn’t need to get me anything…”

Despite that, Silver hesitantly moved to open the wrapping, and Sebek felt his heart tying itself into knots. He was terrified of Silver’s response, and when Silver’s expression grew curious as he pulled out the silver chain necklace, Sebek felt sick. Hanging at the end of the chain was a small clear circle, the edges plated with silver, and in the middle displaying a small cluster of meadowsweet flowers. As soon as he’d learnt Anica could make jewelry, Sebek knew what he wanted to do, he just didn’t know how possible it would be.

Anica said it was so easy she only charged him for the materials, but Sebek had been in awe of the tiny pendant. He cried when he’d gone to collect it, embarrassingly prompting what was merely an acquaintance to comfort him, and Sebek had been certain Silver would adore it. But now that he was watching Silver’s quiet expression, his thoughts were being swamped by doubt.

Silver held the pendant carefully, almost reverently, and Sebek felt his heart soar when Silver’s face split into a wide smile. He hadn’t smiled in weeks. Though the edges were watery, and when Silver inhaled sharply, he started crying moments later.

This was not how Sebek wanted Silver to react, the man suddenly stiffening and moving to hold Silver's arms in comfort. “I– I'm sorry!! Is— Is it too much?! I didn't mean to make you cry! I–”

A wet chuckle left Silver, and the man leant forwards and pressed his head into Sebek's shoulder. Sebek was growing more baffled as time went on, as Silver had avoided contact with him as well these past weeks, but he moved his arms around Silver to hold him close despite that. He needed comfort, and was seeking it out, and the last thing Sebek would do was deny him.

“I-I’m ok, i-it’s not too much.” Silver murmured into his shoulder with a sniffle, and Sebek shook his head as he held Silver tighter.

“You're crying, Silver!! That's– Surely that's not a good thing!” Sebek was definitely panicking, but when Silver shuffled closer and held him in return, he found himself calming slowly.

“N-No, really, I'm fine. I-I just really love it…” Hesitantly, Silver pulled back, wiping at his face which was damp with tears, but he was smiling brightly all the while. It was such a strange sight that Sebek's insides felt like a jumbled mess, but he tried to accept what Silver was saying. That he genuinely liked the gift, and when Silver looked back at the pendant, his smile only grew.

It looked oddly painful. Sebek could feel pain and he didn't know why.

“One… One moment.” Silver mumbled, standing abruptly and rushing off to his room, and Sebek watched him go in utter confusion. For a moment he was terrified Silver wouldn't return, had rushed off to go cry in private, but he was only gone a couple seconds. 

When Silver came back with a small black box, Sebek only grew more confused. Especially with the flush on Silver's damp cheeks.

“I… I'm sorry I didn't wrap it, I, um, didn't know if… if we were going to…” Silver was struggling to make eye contact with him, his hand trembling ever-so-slightly as he held the box out to Sebek, and it made Sebek wish he could reassure him somehow. Taking the gift from him, Sebek smiled as his chest bloomed with a fond ache.

“I didn't think you'd get me something.” Sebek was in awe of the box in his hands, and when Silver finally looked at him directly—a nervous smile on his face—he couldn't feel happier.

“I didn't think you'd get me anything either.” Silver's hands were fussing with the necklace, his expression turning fond as he nodded towards the box with a quiet encouragement. “Open it.”

Sebek felt his heart hammering as he moved to lift the lid off, and he was shocked at the sight of a watch. It was rather striking, the silver metal of the bezel contrasting with the off-black, almost dark green dial, and softened again by black leather straps. It clearly cost a lot. The face had two sprays of what looked to be silvery-white forget-me-nots curling along the curve of the watch, and Sebek was in awe of it.

Taking the watch out of the case, it had a decent weight to it and was exceptionally made, and he'd looked up at Silver to thank him when the man cut him off suddenly.

“Flip it over.” He was watching Sebek with some nerves, his face still flushed, and Sebek's hands felt weak and clumsy as he turned the watch over. On the back of the case there was an engraving, and Sebek felt his chest spasm at the sight.

‘To us. - April 20th’
‘Silver’

Sebek understood immediately now why Silver had burst into tears, because he promptly did the same in the face of such overwhelming emotions. His words referenced the toast they’d shared with one-another, what they’d actually said to each other, during that picnic which clouded so many moments between them. It was overwhelming, Sebek not sure what was happening, what Silver was trying to say, but desperately wanting to know—because the feelings it brought up were drowning him.

Silver had coaxed him forwards into a hug, his head resting on Silver’s shoulder, and Sebek only cried more. He’d missed Silver’s warmth, his hands, his soft murmurs of reassurance. He missed his love. It felt like he couldn’t breathe, and Silver was keeping him held underwater.

There hadn’t been a year on the engraving, which struck Sebek as strange if Silver was quoting, but was there something to that as well? Was it yearless because the sentiment was eternal, had always been there, and putting a year to such a concept was doing it a disservice? Sebek thought back to that picnic and wondered if he’d been in love with Silver back then.

If he’d been in love with Silver long before then.

Had these feelings been a constant in their relationship, but Sebek had just never thought deeply on them? After all, Sebek had never really dated anyone seriously. He’d not even been looking for a partner, and was it simply because his lifelong partner was already at his side? 

If that were the case, then what changed? Clearly he'd been subconsciously avoiding the thought of a romance with Silver, likely because of the man's blatant disinterest in such a relationship, so what was so different now? Why now did the concept of never holding Silver again hurt so bitterly?

Sebek nuzzled slightly into the crook of Silver's neck, his crying having calmed only slightly, and Sebek felt like a core part of him was collapsing. He took a shuddering breath, Silver's fingers still patiently and soothingly running through his hair, and Sebek wanted to stay like this forever. His arms tightened around Silver.

“I-I love you, Silver. I… I really love you…” Sebek desperately put all the love he felt into his words, the weight causing his voice to quiver with the strain to get them out, but what else could he do? He'd been telling Silver over and over again that he loved him, and the man never registered any of it.

Silver's cheek pressed against his head, and Sebek shivered when Silver held him tighter in return. He spoke easily in response, his voice vibrating in his chest. “I love you too, Sebek.”

Sebek just started crying all over again.

Those words had been spoken too easily, there was no way they were real, no way Silver was being strangled by the same weight Sebek was, and he didn't know how to get his point across. He needed Silver to understand, he needed him to realise, and he was exhausted trading lies between the two of them.

Soothing words followed, Silver shifting him more comfortably in his arms, and it didn't help. It took Sebek what felt like hours to calm down, and he'd only calmed because he'd cried himself into exhaustion. They'd pulled back slightly, and in the small distance Sebek put Silver's necklace on for him, and Silver affixed Sebek's watch onto his wrist.

“If I could've found meadowsweet flowers I would've, but… these small flowers reminded me of them enough.” Silver had mumbled, explaining the forget-me-nots in his present, and that at least told Sebek there had been no devastating meaning behind the flowers Silver picked. Though Silver had a small point, there was a similarity between the petals on each flower, even if the colours were strikingly different and the rest of the flower didn't match. The artwork being silvery-white likely helped with the association.

In some ways Sebek didn't know what was worse, Silver gifting him a watch with meadowsweet flowers on them, or a watch with forget-me-nots on them. They both felt painful. There was a weighted pause, Sebek moving to tiredly dry his face, when Silver broke it with an exhausted sigh.

“Maybe… Maybe we…” Silver's voice was so quiet, an edge of reluctance in his words, and when he finished speaking Sebek almost wished he hadn't. “We should set a date to end things. So we don't get stuck here for a real year…”

That was the last thing Sebek wanted to hear, the last thing he wanted, but with the quiet way Silver looked up at him, Sebek didn't know what else to say. He remembered Silver looking up at him and smiling warmly, carefree and full of adoration, but now there was a weight to that gaze. Silver looked in pain.

They probably both looked like they were in pain.

“S-Sure, we—” Sebek's mouth was painfully dry, desperate to stop him from finishing his words in any way. “We can pick a day…”

Despite both of them agreeing to this, the silence afterwards was heavy, and protracted. Most notably, it didn't break, and in that silence Sebek finally understood what the wall between them both was. It was their fake relationship. Every confession of love and adoration, every act that Sebek screamed with his love for Silver, bounced off that wall of pretence. He could never get through to Silver like this.

He needed to break it, but Sebek wanted to only break the wall, not Silver. So for now he kept his arm wrapped around Silver's waist—where it fitted so seamlessly—and thought on how to fix this.

He had to fix this.

He should’ve fixed this months ago, and Sebek worried he’d make the wrong decision if he tried. Every decision he’d made so far had been a terrible idea, after all, but it wasn’t like he could bring this up with Silver. The idea of turning to Silver and going: ‘I don’t know how to bring up that I genuinely am in love with you, and want some kind of future with you’ was both terrifying and ridiculous, and Sebek wished they had a third party who understood the situation. Who would give good advice, which Sebek would listen to without getting swept up in his panic.

There… was someone who did fit that description, even if it brought about a quiet anxiety as well. As he would have to tell them the truth. A truth he should’ve admitted to months ago, and the longer he waited the longer they would both be trapped in this miserable situation. The sudden determination he felt strove Sebek to leave Silver's comforting embrace, and he took a steadying breath. If he waited any longer, he would think himself out of this due to his nerves. 

“Forgive me, but I'm going to go and see my grandfather.”

Silver looked at him with confusion, but otherwise nodded—tucking his hair behind his ear as he turned to look back at his paperwork. Though Sebek felt his stomach flip at the sight of a hand idly fussing with the pendant around his neck, and that only spurred Sebek on. “I'll be back before dinner.”

“Sure. Have fun, d– S-Sebek.” The quiet slip of Silver’s tongue, the quiet correction, made Sebek freeze and he suddenly feared all of this was a terrible idea. It was entirely likely Silver had corrected himself as he was getting tired of pretending, tired of this romance with Sebek, and Sebek felt his thoughts starting to spiral again when he ordered himself to move. He had to move. He had to put an end to this somehow, and he had to remind himself to gracefully accept the outcome even if it wasn’t what he wanted. If Silver didn’t want a romantic relationship with him, Sebek would suggest a queerplatonic one, and if Silver didn’t want that, then Sebek had to accept friendship. If Silver didn’t want that last one either, Sebek would have to somehow accept that, but he knew in his soul it wouldn’t come to that. It was just anxiety speaking. Silver was, and always would be, his best friend.

He’d been selfish long enough.

Chapter Text

Sebek knocked on the door to his grandfather's house, and desperately hoped he was currently at home. It had taken most of his resolve to get here, and if he had to attempt this a second time, he was terrified it would take weeks. Luckily Baur was in, his grandfather opening the door in surprise to see Sebek there, before his face hardened slightly at Sebek's expression.

Wordlessly he stepped back, gesturing for Sebek to enter, and it wasn't until the pair of them were sitting in the living room that Baur finally addressed Sebek directly.

“What happened.” It was an order, not a question, and honestly Sebek was beyond thankful for his grandfather's quirks. Most people would find his behaviour impossible when they were as obviously anxious as Sebek was, but it just made it easier to force the words out.

“I-I’ve made a huge mess of things, grandfather, a-and I don't know what to do.” Sebek was ringing his hands together, his gaze shifting away from the old fae, who’d folded his arms.

There had been a pause, Baur obviously waiting for Sebek to elaborate, but when his grandson remained silent he let out a frustrated sigh. “With Silver? I doubt this would be work related, you would speak with him or Prince Malleus, and nothing else would upset you so.”

Again, Sebek was so thankful for his grandfather, even if nodding made his throat constrict. “Yes. I– I fell in love.”

There was another awkward pause, and Baur was starting to sound annoyed when he again pressed for more information. “You'll have to elaborate. Fell in love with another man…?” Baur clearly jumped to some kind of conclusion, his teeth gritting together in anger, and his temper was barely masked as he spoke. “You did not have an affair. If you did, get out of my house this instant!”

Sebek stiffened at that, but the completely wrong assumption at least enabled Sebek to finally look at his grandfather. Enabled him to speak. “No!! No– I fell in love with Silver!”

Baur was obviously baffled, and growing impatient, and Sebek swallowed his pride and started to explain. “Silver and I… have been pretending to date for the last nine months.”

The silence in the room was suffocating, each second stretching out for an eternity, until Baur opened his mouth. “YOU’VE BEEN LYING FOR NINE MONTHS?!” Baur just grew louder, and angrier, as he spoke—Sebek hunching his shoulders because it was so loud, and he shut his eyes tightly as Baur stood and grew even louder. “WHAT WOULD COMPEL YOU TO DO SUCH A DISGRACEFUL THING!?! YOU HAVE DECEIVED EVERYONE, INCLUDING THE CROWN PRINCE!! SOME WOULD CONSIDER THAT TREASON, SEBEK!!”

That made Sebek flinch, as that was a leap of logic that was a little extreme, even from Baur. He supposed, if you looked at the situation from certain angles, the act of lying to Malleus was indeed undermining his authority and could erode Malleus’ ability to govern effectively, therefore leading to instability, and therefore could be considered treasonous, but… it was literally just two of his guards kissing each other, and pretending there was love there.

And Sebek wasn’t even pretending!  

Still, the fury from his grandfather, and the painful reminder that he had undermined Malleus’ authority at all, pulled Sebek straight into a fit of tears. His crying didn’t seem to help Baur’s anger at all, the man was known for his temper, and Sebek bit his lip painfully when Baur continued to shout.

“CEASE THOSE CROCODILE TEARS!! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! THIS— I DO NOT KNOW IF I CAN EVER TRUST YOU AGAIN, SEBEK! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?! WHY?! EXPLAIN YOURSELF THIS INSTANT!!” Speaking was nearly impossible, Sebek sniffling and choking briefly on his own spit, before he tried to force himself to speak—his hands clenched so tightly together that his fingers were turning white.

“Th–th-the c-c-ourt– c-courtsh-ship—” Sebek couldn’t stutter any more words out, his breathing growing rapid as he fell into a panic attack. His vision blurred, Sebek desperately trying to breathe properly, and when his gaze next focused his grandfather was knelt in front of him. A firm hand was on his shoulder, and it was grounding as his grandfather spoke firmly, but at a less terrifying volume.

“Breathe, Sebek. You need to breathe.” The hand on his shoulder squeezed, and Sebek managed a full breath, then another. Slowly he managed to steady his breathing, even if his body was still shaking, and he coughed a couple times to try and settle his spasming throat. Baur was still knelt patiently in front of him, and eventually he wordlessly held a handkerchief out for Sebek to use.

The change was disorientating, but Sebek took the cloth and dried his face. He opted against blowing his nose, unwilling to soil something of his grandfather’s, even if he knew Baur didn’t care. That’s what a handkerchief was for, after all. A few moments more passed, Sebek’s breathing mostly steady at this point, when Baur moved to sit on the sofa beside Sebek.

“Despite how furious I am with you, I should not have shouted.” Baur spoke tersely, but despite his lower volume it was obvious he was still furious. “Start from the beginning. This began because of your parent’s suggestion of a courtship?”

Sebek nodded, and when his grandfather’s eyes narrowed, Sebek stiffened and spoke aloud. “Y-Yes. I, um, explained I like men and wasn’t interested, to which they suggested setting me up with Lady Crathorne’s brother, a-and I— I panicked and said I was dating someone already.”

The omission of Silver’s name was not missed on Baur, who exhaled tiredly. “Your parents assumed it was Silver, and you were too frazzled to correct them.” Sebek nodded again, again Baur’s jaw clenched, but he continued before Sebek needed to respond verbally. “That explains your side of this charade. What about Silver? What in blazes is he getting out of this arrangement?”

“N-Nothing. He… H-He just wanted to help. Silver… I looked into the term out of curiosity, but according to the internet Silver is an ‘aromantic asexual’.” Baur’s expression shifted in confusion at the term, and Sebek flushed as he went on to elaborate. “He does not experience romantic or sexual attraction to anyone. I-In fact, romance actually disgusts him.”

That just made Baur grow further confused. “Why on earth would he ever agree to this…? Why did you agree to this upon finding out?!” That fury was surfacing again, Baur’s brows furrowing in a severe scowl. “If someone dear to you was so obviously uncomfortable, why would you entertain the idea of continuing such a thing!?”

“W-We came up with boundaries! I never pushed him, o-on anything! Upsetting him was the last thing I wanted to do, and I even had to fight him about it when Silver was insistent on crossing his own boundaries for my benefit.” The scowl on Baur’s face lightened, but he again exhaled tiredly. A hand came up to rub at the bridge of his nose.

“And this truly went on for nine months? Why didn’t you put an end to this sooner?” Sebek’s silence afterwards, the flush on his cheeks, caused Baur to glare at him for a moment before he rolled his eyes with another sigh. “Of course, I recall: you fell in love with him.”

Really he was being a nuisance to his grandfather, but the simple fact he’d managed to tell someone the truth felt like such a relief. Of course his grandfather was furious with him for the deception—was likely also furious with Silver—but he was keeping his temper (mostly) in check to try and support Sebek when it became clear this was truly distressing him. 

“I-I don’t know what to do, grandfather. S-Silver is so obviously hurting, I’m hurting, and I have no idea how to fix this. I-I came for your advice on what to do, because I don’t want to make this worse. E-Every decision I’ve made so far has simply made things worse.” Sebek was proud of himself for managing to speak so clearly and concisely, and Baur gave him a short nod in approval as well—the sight filling Sebek’s chest with a bright warmth.

Though Baur’s next words immediately extinguished that warmth. “You should break up with Silver.”

“Wh– w-what…?” Sebek spoke in practically a whisper, his voice coming out as a weak exhale more than actual words, and Baur leered at him in disbelief.

“If you are in love with him, you should put an end to this false relationship and inform him of your true intentions. That is the obvious solution, Sebek. I am rather ashamed you needed someone to tell you that.” Baur’s patience was wearing thin, the man’s jaw tight as he stared sharply at Sebek, who just started to shake his head.

“N-No, I can’t if— I-If we break up, a-and I tell him the truth, there’s no way h-he’d want to be in a relationship with me! He– He hates romance!!! He wouldn’t want to be with me!” Sebek sounded a little hysteric, and he watched as Baur closed his eyes and took a deep breath—his hand moving to rub at his forehead. This was clearly giving him a headache.

“It’s as though you are trying to anger me on purpose, Sebek.” Baur spoke with clear annoyance, his brows furrowed deeply as he exhaled slowly to try and prevent an outburst. He brought his hand down from his forehead when he spoke. “Sebek. That day I spoke with you in your office, Silver had walked in with a bouquet of likely the most hideous flowers I have ever seen in my life. Their only saving grace was the fact they smelt lovely, but I didn’t understand the gesture.”

Baur was levelling Sebek with a firm glare, an edge of exasperation in his voice. “He expected you to be alone in that office, and the way your expression lit up at those flowers, it was clear he’d bought them for a reason only you would comprehend. Those are not the actions of a man pretending to be in love to fool others.”

Thinking back on the memory, Sebek recalled Silver had gotten flustered after handing him the flowers. He thought his actions were weird, and suddenly started to fret over the fact Sebek didn’t have a vase for them. At the time Sebek was still reeling from his grandfather’s acceptance that he hadn’t looked at Silver’s actions closely. The way Sebek’s reassurance settled those nerves immediately, or the look of awe he’d given Baur when the old fae openly accepted their relationship. How, even if Silver had fallen into that quiet misery again, he still leant against Sebek’s shoulder in comfort.

Now that he was thinking about Silver’s actions from a third perspective, the perspective of the lie they were meant to be perpetuating, there were a lot of moments Silver’s actions didn’t add up. Practicing in private was a stupid idea, and even if it had somehow worked out in the end—which had been what Sebek had focused on—it had literally no benefit for the people they were trying to fool. Silver had dressed up for their date, when he really hadn’t needed to, and Sebek realised he’d braided his hair and done his makeup in ways Sebek had previously said he liked. That had nothing to do with other people. He could’ve just worn a smart shirt and called it quits, but he put the effort in to specifically impress Sebek.

In exactly the same way Sebek had tried to impress Silver.

The most condemning moment, which Sebek felt utterly stupid for not realising, had been the exact same moment Sebek realised he loved Silver. When they danced at the ball, Silver had been directing them into the perfect moment for a romantic kiss, which could easily be explained away by their charade and was exactly what Sebek had done. What couldn’t be explained away was what happened when Silver pulled away from the kiss, whispering that he loved him with so much love in his gaze.

Because why would he whisper that? Sebek hadn’t realised, and yet the rest of the night just made it more obvious. Silver had been so reluctant to leave his side for even a moment, had even admitted he didn’t want the night to end, had admitted it was nice on several occasions. He’d pulled Sebek into a desperate kiss full of so much longing at the end of the night, and Sebek had blamed it all on the alcohol and the romantic atmosphere. Had blamed himself for Silver’s actions.

Had cut Silver off the next morning, when Silver had been about to talk about how the night made him feel. Sebek couldn’t breathe for a moment. If he hadn’t cut Silver off, if he’d just let him speak, would Silver have admitted that his opinion on romance had changed? Would Silver have shyly fussed with his hair, smiling with a soft blush, as he admitted he wanted their relationship to be real? Instead Sebek had cut him off, and essentially thrown Silver’s feelings on the ground before he even got to admit to them.

Silver had started to fall into his quiet moods after that moment… Had he spent months with the silent belief Sebek wanted nothing to do with him? He’d stubbornly suggested they keep practicing in private, never brought up the idea of stopping their relationship, kissed him senseless on the sofa, and told Sebek he loved him so easily.

The past several months Silver had been pretending, like Sebek feared. But he’d been pretending their relationship was real.  

“He’s in love with me.” Sebek whispered, and Baur let out a grumble of annoyance.

“Grandson. You are a light in my life, however right now I could not be more ashamed of you for NOT REALISING THAT SOONER.” The sudden volume made Sebek flinch, his grandfather looking at him with baffled, furious disbelief, and Sebek took that as his sign to leave before his grandfather lectured him on the fact he was an idiot.

Standing up abruptly, Sebek gave Baur a deep bow before he shouted in return. “THANK YOU GRANDFATHER!!! I– I HAVE TO GO, IMMEDIATELY!”

As he fled his grandfather’s house, Sebek thought he’d heard the man grumbling about him being so loud, and Sebek made the mental note to apologise to Baur when he next saw him. And perhaps thank him again depending on how this went. Right now, however, Sebek needed to get home and speak to Silver.

—

Sebek had practically sprinted through the streets of Dragonopolis to get home, and it wasn't until he was braced on his knees trying to catch his breath that Sebek realised he could've just used his magic. It would've been so much quicker, but then Sebek realised he was likely too distressed to manage something so precise as teleportation magic.

It took a moment longer to get his hands to work enough to unlock the door. Even though Silver was in the house, they had the habit of locking it because if Silver unexpectedly fell asleep there was no way he'd notice a burglar. Not that he imagined they would ever get burgled, as they didn't exactly have anything expensive in the house. They both preferred simple and practical things, their most expensive possessions being their distinctive magearms—no thief would be able to sell such a thing—and every little thing pointed towards them being perfect for each other.

When they'd decorated their home, there hadn't been a single argument besides Silver wanting coffee in the house, and that was a distant memory now. 

Stepping into the livingroom, Sebek took his coat and shoes off to ground himself, before he called out into the house. “Silver! Can you come here for a minute? We need to talk.”

For a moment Sebek was worried Silver had left the house, or even worse was asleep, but when he left his bedroom he looked at Sebek curiously.

“I thought you were seeing your grandfather, not going for a run…?” Silver had spoken so calmly, and Sebek felt his chest spasm at the domesticity behind it all. Now that he was aware of Silver’s intentions, everything they did felt suddenly wonderful. 

Waving a dismissive hand, Sebek gestured for Silver to sit beside him, and he felt his heart speed up when Silver did so easily. Though Silver did narrow his eyes at him slightly, clearly wondering what this was about as he again idly fiddled with his necklace, and Sebek took a steadying breath. This felt like the hardest thing he'd ever done.

“We need to break up.” Sebek had managed to get his voice out calmly, was proud of himself for doing so even with his heart racing wildly, and he'd been about to continue speaking when Silver's raspy voice made his blood turn cold.

“I-I knew it…” There was so much pain behind such a quiet voice, and Sebek watched in horror as Silver’s expression crumpled. Those clear eyes of his clouded with tears in an instant, and with a whimper Silver started crying. “I– I-I th-thought we were good f-for– for each other, a-and I– I-I’m sorry I—”

A broken sob left Silver, the man moving to rub at his face before eventually sobbing into his palms. Sebek flew into a panic, quickly tugging at Silver's wrists in an attempt to stop him from hiding, but of course Silver didn't move. The man was too strong, even amidst hysterics.

“S-Silver, stop, I—”

Silver did not stop. “Wh-What i-if I– i-if I practice more, th-then m-maybe—”

“Silver listen!” Sebek shifted so he was closer, and he managed to coax Silver's hands away from his face, but he wasn't looking at Sebek clearly at all as he just grew more hysterical.

“I-I kn-knew I was unwanted!! Kn-knew I was just a weed–” Silver's voice was trembling, like every word forced from his throat cut him on the way out. Sebek was bewildered as well as panicked, as he had no idea what Silver was talking about. “B-But I wanted– I wanted— so badly, to b-be a flower…”

...Like meadowsweet flowers?

“S-Silver, please stop!” Sebek was frantic, moving to grip Silver's hands tightly to try and stop his nosediving thoughts, but it was clearly a losing battle. Silver was shaking violently, silent tears streaming down his cheeks, and Sebek squeezed his hands firmly to try and get his attention again. “You are a flower! You are!”

“Y-You're breaking up w-w-with me, I'm n-not, I never w-was, I'm just– j-just clinging—”

“I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU SO I CAN ASK YOU OUT FOR REAL! BECAUSE I LOVE YOU FOR REAL!!” Sebek didn't mean to shout that, Silver stiffening from the sudden noise, but it at least finally caught his attention. His head shot upright, his eyes wide as he stared at Sebek in open awe—even if those tears were still marring his beautiful face.

A loud, breathless whimper left him, Silver tugging his hands from Sebek and frantically rubbing at his face to try and calm, before something in his expression shifted. His hands came down, a faint frown settling on his face, before Sebek realised Silver was glaring at him. “You… Y-You could've just said that! I c-could've– I really could've done without the short-lived heartbreak, S-Sebek!”

Another sob left him, Silver wiping yet more tears from his face, before he shook his head with a sharp and shaky exhale. “I'm r-really quite annoyed with you, Sebek. God, I'm so annoyed.” Sebek felt his guilt growing the longer Silver spoke. “B-But you're lucky I love you more. I'll let it go for now to say obviously I want to be with you for real, Sebek..”

“You… You still want to be with…”

“Yes.” Silver almost hissed, a trembling sob leaving him, and he rubbed more firmly at his face—clearly growing annoyed with his tears. “I-I’ve been trying to t-tell you for forever, I—”

Sebek moved to bring Silver into his arms in an instant, the man immediately sagging into his embrace and clinging desperately to him. A sharp whimper left Silver, and Sebek just held him tighter. “I love you…” Silver breathed out, like speaking those words winded him, and they'd certainly winded Sebek to hear them.

The worst part was, these words weren't new. Sebek had heard them almost daily, before these last few weeks of distance, but he finally heard him. Finally realised they'd both been shouting the same things at each other, convinced their confessions were falling on deaf ears.

“Silver…” Sebek held him tighter, pressed his face into his hair, before he felt months of stress finally bleed out of him with such simple words. “I love you too.”

Silver's breath hitched, tight and a little painful, and it was obvious Silver was trying desperately to compose himself. The pause at least gave Sebek a moment to think back to some of the things Silver had said in his hysterics, and most of the words concerned him.

“Have… This whole time, have you just been thinking of yourself as an unwanted weed…?” The way Silver stiffened was damning, the man pressing his face more into Sebek's chest, before he reluctantly nodded.

“Of course… I… I was stubbornly trying to st-stay at your side, knowing full well you… y-you’d want to be with someone who can love you properly, b-but I—”

Something sharp, and angry, twisted in Sebek's chest. He squeezed Silver tightly.

“You do love me properly.” The sob that spilled from Silver's lips in response was heartbreaking, as it was so clear Silver didn't agree with him. “You do, Silver. You love me with your whole heart, the way I love you with all of mine.”

“But mine’s d-d-defective—”

“Silver.” Sebek tried to coax Silver into looking at him, and reluctantly Silver stopped hiding in Sebek's chest—his eyes still glistening with tears. He still wasn't looking at him directly. “I love you, Silver. I don't think I've loved anyone as deeply as I love you. I want you, as you are, and I swear to you if you dare say to me you're not worth how I feel, I will not take the insult lightly. I shall defend your honour even from yourself if I must!”

The wet laugh that left Silver was a relief, the man sniffling and finally looking at Sebek with a watery smile. The smile left Sebek dizzy, though he couldn't admire it for long as Silver again moved to hug Sebek tightly. This time, however, it wasn't to hide away in his chest so Sebek would let him calm down. They both needed to calm down, Sebek could feel himself trembling too even if it wasn't as much as Silver was.

Bringing his hand up to stroke through Silver's hair, it was slowly settling in that… this was real. This was real. Sebek's chest twisted in a way that was suddenly unbearable, and Sebek found himself crying now. He held Silver tighter, pressing his face into Silver's hair, and after a moment he felt Silver pushing at his chest. Reluctantly he let go, but Silver didn't go far—pulling back and bringing a warm hand to Sebek's cheek.

When he leant in and kissed him gently, Sebek felt even more overwhelmed. He kissed Silver back firmly, before a sudden thought caused him to pull back in shock. “W-Wait– Y– K-Kissing is o-ok?”

Silver let out a breathless laugh, leaning forwards again to nuzzle against Sebek's cheek. “It's more than ok, dear. I… I really like kissing you…” Hearing that pet name from Silver nearly set Sebek off once more, but he instead channelled his overwhelming emotions into kissing Silver again. Their lips pressing together left him dizzy, and Sebek kept reminding himself this was real.

He wasn't sure it would ever sink in fully, not when it involved someone as precious as Silver, but they had time to work it out together. Although Sebek pulled back with yet another thought, pulling a noise of complaint from Silver this time.

“We… We should talk, now that we've both calmed down a little.” Sebek spoke gently, continuing to stroke his fingers through Silver's hair. He could see the reluctant moment Silver agreed with him, the man nodding even if he clearly wanted to get back to kissing him.

That thought made Sebek giddy, and he needed to keep a lid on his growing excitement as this was serious. “What do you want from this? What do you need? I don't… I don't want you to close off on me again, and I don't want to hurt you. We need to be open with each other.”

The concern made Silver's gaze soften, and he shifted to lay his head against Sebek's shoulder. “I apologise for closing off. I…” Sebek hadn't expected Silver to dwell on that first, but clearly the guilt was weighing on him if he focused on an apology first. “I'd been trying to, um…”

Sebek could feel that pain again, and he leant his head against Silver's own in silent reassurance. “I was trying to get over you. I was trying to make it less painful when you inevitably ended this…”

A pain bloomed in Sebek's chest, and he pressed a kiss to Silver's hair as he pulled back slightly. “I'm sorry I hurt you, Silver.”

“You didn't. I was just… hurting myself. You did nothing wrong.”

Sebek fully disagreed. “I should've spoken up sooner myself. Should've clearly stated what I wanted instead of leaving us both in limbo.”

A quiet sigh left Silver, and he shook his head even if he was still pressed against his shoulder so it felt more like he was nuzzling him. “I never said what I wanted either, and I can't imagine this didn't hurt you too. Your heart is too big, too caring, to have not hurt as well.”

Those words had been said so easily by Silver, like they hadn't just shone a spotlight on such a core part of Sebek's soul, and Sebek felt his chest tightening. Seeing Silver in pain had hurt as well, of course it had, nevermind his own feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Though Silver sighed before he spoke up again.

“I’ve still not said what I want, despite you asking. My apologies. Sebek, I want to be your boyfriend. I want to kiss you, and go on dates, and keep you by my side. I… I'd like to try sharing a bed? Though I, um, remember you saying that was difficult for you, so maybe not…”

Sebek shook his head. “It was only difficult because I wanted to hold you and never let go again.” Watching Silver's expression soften further at those words made Sebek feel like the luckiest man alive.

“You can certainly do that. I adore cuddling you. You're so warm… Your chest is so broad and comfortable to just snuggle into.” Silver sounded beyond fond, but his words did make Sebek consider something.

“What don't you want? It's wonderful you want to do so much with me, but I don't want to overstep a boundary.” His question caused Silver to grow quiet, his foot anxiously rubbing against his leg in thought, before he eventually exhaled tiredly.

“I… still don't want to have sex with you. Though, um… nudity might be ok? Maybe. I don't know…” Silver looked uncertain, and uncomfortable, and Sebek leant down to press a kiss into his hair.

“We don't have to do either of those things. It's not like I've ever had the desire to wander the house naked, and I assume you're the same.” Silver snorted at his words, but nodded. 

“Never… Though I sometimes can't be bothered fully dressing. Is underwear and such fine with you?” Hearing such a slovenly admission from Silver irked Sebek, appalled he would want to be so lazy, but he exhaled and told himself to calm as it really wasn't the end of the world.

“No, that is quite fine. I shan't be joining you, however. Is there anything else that makes you uncomfortable?” Sebek watched as Silver grew quiet, thinking carefully, before he eventually shook his head.

“No. I think it's just sex. I… I’ve been thinking for some time about what I want from you, and came to a lot of realisations. I don't like the idea of kissing unless it's from you. I don’t like pet names unless it's your voice saying them. I'm… I'm rather besotted, I will admit.” Silver's cheeks had darkened as he spoke, but Sebek was distracted by the way his heart flipped at Silver's words. He couldn't stop his thoughts from spilling out.

“When did you fall for me? Personally I think I realised when you kissed me at the ball… I felt a spark I'd never felt before, and when you pulled back and smiled at me instead of growing pale, I just… knew. That I wanted you like that forever.” Sebek watched as Silver's cheeks just darkened further, well aware his own face had heated with his words, but he was mostly just relieved he could say these things out loud and mean what he said.

There was a short pause, Silver thinking over his question, before he started to speak. “I don't… think there was a singular moment I fell in love with you. The way I love you hasn't changed, if that makes any sense? I've… always loved you so deeply. You've always been my best friend, always been the other half of my soul, and have always been the love of my life. It's just as intense, just as important, I simply understand it better and can express it in different ways now.”

Silver smiled sweetly, leaning forwards to kiss Sebek tenderly on the lips—his voice quiet when he pulled back. “I can kiss you now. I can put words to the fact that I want to live my life with you, that I want to wake up with you every morning, and go to cafés with you after work. I want to spend every moment I can with you, want to go through every challenge with you at my side, and I'm… so thankful I know how to express it now. And that you feel the same.”

A shaky breath left Sebek, his eyes watering again, but Silver's expression just grew more fond as he again stroked his cheek reassuringly. 

“I feel like you've been driving me insane for months, Silver.” Sebek murmured, his chest aching from the soft attention to his cheek. Silver just chuckled softly in response.

“Me?” Silver started, bemusement in his gaze. “You've been so much worse to deal with. I never thought I was one to swoon, but you sure made me close to such an act.”

There was a pause, Silver shifting to snuggle into Sebek again, and he truly fit comfortably into that space. Sebek's hand found his waist, and Silver shivered with a pleased sound he couldn't hold back. “L-Like that…” Silver murmured, smiling as he nuzzled into Sebek's shoulder. The phrase confused Sebek, but thankfully Silver continued without prompting. “Your hand always makes me dizzy when it settles there… It's… warm, and intimate, and I feel so… wanted when you do that.”

“That's because I do want you, Silver.” Sebek's voice had a thicker edge to it, and Silver shivered and tried to press closer.

“I know, but… I'm still amazed.”

Sebek shook his head, bringing his spare hand up to Silver's jaw. He nudged him to look up at him, and the almost dreamy expression Silver wore made Sebek's thoughts grow syrupy. “Silver, I don't think you understand how wonderful you are.”

The way Silver's gaze shifted slightly away made it clear that was the case. Sebek wouldn't stand for that.

“Not only are you beyond beautiful,” Sebek saw Silver's smile warm just a fraction more at the compliment, “but every second I spend at your side is better than the last. The only thing that would convince me to leave you, would be if you told me to do so.”

Silver's gaze filled with affection, the man's cheeks tinted by a blush, as he moved a hand to fuss quietly with Sebek's jumper. He'd clearly been stunned into silence, but was so obviously pleased by what he'd heard. It really didn't temper Sebek's own adoration, and he brought his fingers to stroke along the warm skin of Silver's face—marvelling at how it warmed further at such a simple touch.

“I love you.” Silver whispered, finally finding his voice again as he closed his eyes to just indulge in their contact. “It's going to take a while to truly comprehend you're mine…”

Feeling Silver press more into his hand, Sebek squeezed Silver's waist in return and smiled when he felt Silver shiver with such obvious fondness. The atmosphere was warm, and peaceful, and so familiar that Sebek couldn't feel safer. Couldn't feel more content, or loved, which is why he could immediately sense the atmosphere changing when it did.

Silver's jaw had tensed, his eyes opening, and Sebek could feel a sharpness to Silver's edges that hadn't been there moments ago. It made Sebek's throat tighten reflexively, wondering just what exactly had seemingly annoyed Silver so suddenly.

“We… We don't get to tell people we're together.” Silver mumbled quietly, the realisation heavy in the space between them. It only grew heavier when Silver's brows furrowed and he leered at Sebek, causing the other man to stiffen. “You had better propose to me for real. I want to be able to announce that for real.”

Sebek felt his thoughts blank at the sudden mention of a proposal, of a future marriage, and he stared at Silver with a growing shock. They'd been together for less than a day and Silver was already talking about marriage?!  

“A-Ah, sure, but—” Silver's brows furrowed further at the ‘but’, and he looked livid. “N-No, what I mean is— of course I'll do that for real!! Just isn't it too soon for that?!?”

The growing annoyance on Silver's face softened, slowly turning fond, before Silver chuckled gently. It was disorienting to keep up with these changes, but he supposed Silver had been bottling up rather volatile moods for months. “I wouldn't say no if you asked… I already know I want to spend my life with you. But I won't rush you, even if we've… been in love for years, haven't we?”

Blinking quietly at Silver's words, Sebek felt his face heating further as he let himself consider that question. He'd asked himself the same earlier today: had he already loved Silver before their picnic? Before they moved in together? Before they graduated from Night Raven College? Feeling a smile tug at his lips, Sebek nodded once as he shifted to link his fingers with Silver's own.

“It feels as though I've loved you my whole life.”