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Chapter Text

Shiz University Group Chats Presents:

The Paleontology Professor, Part 1 of 3

[In the same chaotic style and spirit of the Shiz University Group Chats AU but stand-alone? Because I have different plans for the plot except I wrote this in one fevered sitting. Anyway. Enjoy.]

Part 1: Shiz University's new visiting paleontology professor looks suspiciously like a certain Winkie Prince.

Pt. 1: The Paleontology Situation (Spiritual, Emotional, Horny)
[ Elphaba 💚 | Glinda 🌟 | Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Update: the Natural History Dept has acquired a visiting lecturer
He said “coprolite” and I felt things

Shenshen 👠:
He pushed up his glasses and someone whispered “that man could excavate me.”
Wasn’t me.
But spiritually, it could have been.

Glinda 🌟:
No because WHY is he dressed like the brooding academic love interest in a very slow-burn enemies-to-lovers fic

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Or like he’s about to inherit a crumbling estate and seduce the local governess

Boq W.:
Wait.
Is he the one with the rolled-up sleeves and the arm veins??
Asking for academic reasons

Elphaba 💚:
Okay but
Objectively
WHY does he look exactly like

Avaric 💸:
wait
WAIT

Shenshen 👠:
No because if Fiyero wore glasses and had tenure

Glinda 🌟:
oh my Ozians
it’s Academic Fiyero
like… Villain Origin Fiyero
like “burned a university down once but published a paper about it” Fiyero

Pfannee the Pfirst:
he looks like he keeps fossils in his coat pocket and secrets in his past

Boq W.:
I’m gonna pass out.
He just said the phrase “seductive sedimentation” out loud

Fiyero 🔥:
ok FIRST OF ALL no.
second of all.
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
I don’t even LIKE fossils
I’m more of a dance-instead-of-research kind of guy

Glinda 🌟:
interesting that no one accused you and yet here you are

Fiyero 🔥:
I just think it’s wild how easily you’ve all been seduced by some dusty rock nerd with cheekbones

Elphaba 💚:
He also cited his own book in casual conversation and no one stopped him
I almost respect it

Avaric 💸:
he winked at me when he said “bone record”

Shenshen 👠:
anyway we’re all switching majors

Fiyero 🔥:
I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW I HAVE CHEEKBONES TOO

Chapter Text

Shiz University Group Chats Presents:

The Paleontology Professor, Part 2 of 3

[In the same chaotic style and spirit of the Shiz University Group Chats AU but stand-alone? Because I have different plans for the plot except I wrote this in one fevered sitting. Anyway. Enjoy.]

Part 2: Fiyero can't stand the comparisons. But if you can't beat them, join them.

Pt. 2. The Fossil Incident (Archaeological Delusion & Emotional Damage)
[ Elphaba 💚 | Glinda 🌟 | Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Boq W.:
no no NO
Fiyero brought a fossil

Pfannee the Pfirst:
he pulled it out of his satchel like it was a love letter from the Cretaceous

Glinda 🌟:
you guys
he set it gently on the desk
like it had feelings

Elphaba 💚:
this man once asked if stalactites were edible

Shenshen 👠:
we were NOT prepared for this kind of commitment

Avaric 💸:
ok but the real question
where did he even GET a fossil

Fiyero 🔥:
maybe I’m expanding my interests
maybe I’m a man of depth
maybe I support the sciences

Boq W.:
you told me yesterday your favorite bone was “the hot one in the thigh”

Glinda 🌟:
also
you’ve been calling it THE FOSSIL in ALL CAPS like it’s a character

Fiyero 🔥:
*THE FOSSIL* HAS PRESENCE

Elphaba 💚:
please tell them what happened when the actual professor walked in

Shenshen 👠:
oh god oh GOD

Pfannee the Pfirst:
he saw the fossil
paused
nodded slowly
then asked Fiyero what epoch it came from

Boq W.:
and this man. this creature. this peacock in corduroy.
he said “uh. old.”

Fiyero 🔥:
IT WAS A STRATEGIC VAGUENESS

Elphaba 💚:
then he said “I found it near a rock. probably. maybe a river. unclear.”

Avaric 💸:
he looked at Fiyero like someone handed him a rock and called it data

Glinda 🌟:
ANYWAY. then he read Elphaba’s notes
and said “well finally, someone took this seriously”

Fiyero 🔥:
this is unprofessional conduct
he’s showing blatant favoritism

Boq W.:
he’s watching the love of his life get praised for real work while holding a rock like it’s going to save him
I’m just glad I was here to witness it

Chapter Text

Shiz University Group Chats Presents:

The Paleontology Professor, Part 3 of 3

[In the same chaotic style and spirit of the Shiz University Group Chats AU but stand-alone? Because I have different plans for the plot except I wrote this in one fevered sitting. Anyway. Enjoy.]

Part 3: Fiyero stakes his claim in the 'softest' possible way

Pt. 3. The Soft Launch Heard ’Round the School
[ Elphaba 💚 | Glinda 🌟 | Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Glinda 🌟:
you GUYS
the professor read Elphie’s essay
and said it was “exceptionally thoughtful”
AND “a perspective the field sorely needs” 😭😭😭

Boq W.:
I witnessed it.
He was holding her paper like it was a sacred text.

Shenshen 👠:
He said “I hope you’ll consider publishing this.” **in that voice**
I gasped. audibly.

Pfannee the Pfirst:
he looked at her like she was a limited-edition fossil with literary merit

Elphaba 💚:
I made a sound. it was undignified.
I think it was supposed to be “thank you” but it came out like “hhnfh?”

Glinda 🌟:
You were magnificent. Even your stunned noises are award-winning.

Fiyero 🔥:
cool cool cool
love that for her
just a guy standing here with a rock and watching his girlfriend become an academic weapon

Avaric 💸:
oh

Boq W.:
👀👀👀👀👀

Elphaba 💚:
hold on
BACK UP
your what

Fiyero 🔥:
uh
that was
a slip?
a future-facing metaphor??
a soft-launch?????

Glinda 🌟:
Soft-launch 😭😭😭

Pfannee the Pfirst:
he really said “my girlfriend” like we wouldn’t NOTICE

Shenshen 👠:
omg we have to go back and retroactively re-tag all his thirst messages

Elphaba 💚:
WE ARE NOT DATING
WE ARE BARELY
TOLERATING

Fiyero 🔥:
you literally fell asleep on me during Ethics

Elphaba 💚:
that was because the lecture was so boring
and your shoulder was THERE

Boq W.:
this is romantic in a hostile way

Avaric 💸:
just say “thank you for the label, babe” and move on

Glinda 🌟:
still not over the soft launch 😭

Chapter Text

The Paleontology Professor, Part 4 of ?

[Apparently I wasn't done?!? Blame Jonathan Bailey all the Jurassic World promo. This is written in the same chaotic style and spirit of the Shiz University Group Chats AU but in a separate timeline LOL.]

Part 4: After Fiyero's disastrous "soft-launch", the Paleontology Dept launches a fun little fundraiser. Warning for overabundance of T-Rex Popcorn buckets.

🦖Part 4: The Fossil Fundraiser (The T-Rex Popcorn Bucket Saga) [ Elphaba 💚 | Glinda 🌟 | Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 | Nessa 🕯️ | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Boq W.:
so
just to confirm
are we pretending fiyero didn’t call elphaba his GIRLFRIEND in front of the entire class

Shenshen 👠:
we are NOT pretending
i have the soft-launch transcript saved

Pfannee the Pfirst:
i’m printing it out and framing it

Glinda 🌟:
she looked like she was deciding whether to bury you or the professor first

Fiyero 🔥:
can we PLEASE move on

Avaric 💸:
no because the paleontology department dropped their fundraiser like five minutes later
the timing??? cursed

Nessa 🕯️:
what fundraiser??

Boq W.:
the one with the T. rex popcorn buckets
and the “Coffee with Professor Tigelaar” raffle

Glinda 🌟:
you cannot make this up
“An Intimate Conversation Over Coffee—Unearth Your Curiosity.”

Shenshen 👠: intimate
INTIMATE

Fiyero 🔥:
IT’S AN ACADEMIC FUNDRAISER

Pfannee the Pfirst:
so you’re telling me
you declared your soft launch
and then the universe immediately offered elphaba a coffee date with her favorite fossil man

Elphaba 💚:
He’s not my favorite anything.
And I’m not entering the raffle.

Nessa 🕯️:
you say that but i saw you reading the flyer

Glinda 🌟:
oh no
fiyero do something

Fiyero 🔥:
like what
buy every popcorn bucket??

Boq W.:
yes
exactly that

Avaric 💸:
imagine explaining to campus security why you have 37 holographic dinosaur heads

Fiyero 🔥:
it’s called preventative sabotage

Elphaba 💚:
It’s called being ridiculous.

Shenshen 👠:
i support him
this is the most invested he’s ever been in the scientific process

Pfannee the Pfirst:
the process of what?
emotional excavation??

Glinda 🌟:
i’m going to the bake sale table
if i see one of you trying to bribe the professor with cupcakes i will physically remove you

Fiyero 🔥:
no promises

Chapter Text

Shiz University Group Chats Presents:

The Paleontology Professor, Part 5 of ?

[Apparently I wasn't done?!? Blame Jonathan Bailey all the Jurassic World promo. This is written in the same chaotic style and spirit of the Shiz University Group Chats AU but in a separate timeline LOL.]

Part 5: Fiyero buys 60 T-Rex Popcorn Buckets and still doesn't win the fundraiser. Guess who does?

🦖 Pt. 5: The Fossil Fundraiser (Emotional Extinction Event)

[ Elphaba 💚 | Glinda 🌟 | Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 | Nessa 🕯️ | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Pfannee the Pfirst:
so
i witnessed a crime today

Glinda 🌟:
was it fiyero buying out the fundraiser like it was a clearance sale

Pfannee the Pfirst:
yes
and avaric helping him load SIXTY t-rex popcorn buckets into a cart

Avaric 💸:
in my defense
i was trying to create a thriving secondary market

Shenshen 👠:
you tried to resell them for DOUBLE

Avaric 💸:
supply and demand

Boq W.:
did you really think that would stop her
elphaba doesn’t even LIKE popcorn

Fiyero 🔥:
that was the point
she wouldn’t be tempted
she’d just…ignore it

Glinda 🌟:
did she see you??

Fiyero 🔥:
no
and she won’t
she’s not interested in this nonsense

Nessa 🕯️:
…so about that

Elphaba 💚:
Nessa, don’t

Nessa 🕯️:
i’m sorry but the truth must be known
we went to drop of our donations together
 and the professor said
“i set one aside for you, miss thropp. as thanks.”

Boq W.:
you mean the last bucket??

Nessa 🕯️:

yes
even tho, let’s be clear: i made a donation before her lol

(and I’m also ms. thropp??) anyway
i asked if there was any left and the prof said no

Fiyero 🔥:
i’m going to be sick

Elphaba 💚:
i didn’t ask for it
he insisted

Nessa 🕯️:
anyway so i decided to stay when they read the raffle winners
because i had a feeling
and, well…

Boq W.:
NO

Pfannee the Pfirst:
NO NO NO

Shenshen 👠:
YESSSSSSS

Glinda 🌟:
tell me you’re joking

Nessa 🕯️:
winner:
Elphaba Thropp
✨“You’re entitled to an intimate coffee and discussion of the collection.”✨

Fiyero 🔥:
I AM GOING TO COMMIT A CRIME
ALSO WHY IS IT CALLED “INTIMATE” COFFEE
WHY CAN’T IT BE A CASUAL COFFEE FROM FIFTY FEET AWAY

Elphaba 💚:
I didn’t even enter
It was complimentary.

Fiyero 🔥:
COMPLIMENTARY???
Is this a RAFFLE OR A FREAKING MEET CUTE???
WHO RUNS THIS DEPARTMENT??

Glinda 🌟:
i have never seen him this unhinged
it’s…beautiful

Boq W.:
did he look happy when he pulled your name?

Elphaba 💚:
He looked polite.

Fiyero 🔥:
he looked SMUG i bet
like he knew this would happen

Pfannee the Pfirst:
sir
this is a charity event

Avaric 💸:
a charity event that just became your villain origin story

Shenshen 👠:
when’s the coffee happening

Elphaba 💚:
I’m declining.

Fiyero 🔥:
very smart move, i agree
you should tell him immediately
i’m coming with you

Elphaba 💚:
No, you are absolutely not

Glinda 🌟:
someone film it when she tries to return the bucket
i need closure

Chapter Text

Shiz University Group Chats Presents:

The Paleontology Professor, Part 6 of ?

[The saga continues. This is written in the same chaotic style and spirit of the Shiz University Group Chats AU but in a separate timeline LOL.]

Part 6: Elphaba tries to return the prize-winning popcorn bucket but things don't exactly go to plan.

🦖 Pt. 6: The Return of the Bucket (Coffee is Actually Bad For You)

[ Elphaba 💚 | Glinda 🌟 | Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 | Nessa 🕯 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 ]

Avaric 💸:
LIVE UPDATE: she’s doing it
She just entered the paleontology department
 SHE’S BRINGING THE BUCKET BACK

Pfannee the Pfirst:
WAIT
she’s actually giving the bucket back??
LIKE A FORMAL RETURN??

Nessa 🕯:
Earlier she said “I don’t want this pity prize or popcorn propaganda”
and then stormed out with it under one arm
She looked like an angry museum donation

Boq W.:
is she alone???

Avaric 💸:
no
and this is where it gets good
Fiyero is “casually” walking ten paces behind her
in full spy mode
he ducked behind a TRICERATOPS DISPLAY

Fiyero 🔥:
i’m doing RECON
this is intelligence gathering

Elphaba 💚:
I can see you
through the glass
you’re crouching behind a gift shop display of fossil-themed pens

Fiyero 🔥:
i am blending in with the educational materials

Shenshen 👠:
what is your exit strategy if you get caught

Fiyero 🔥:
say I’m here for… SCIENCE

Avaric 💸:
Oh oz
he whispered “for science!” and did a little combat roll behind the gift shop skeleton

Boq W.:
i’m crying
what is this, Jurassic Spark: Spy Edition

Glinda 🌟:
Fiyero don’t let Elphie see that 😭

Avaric 💸:
OKAY THEY’RE TALKING
I can’t hear the words
but the vibes are “tense academic power struggle with unresolved eye contact”

Boq W.:
describe his FACE
what’s the prof doing

Avaric 💸:
wait hold on
he’s smirking
this is so disturbing
he just said—and i quote:
“If it bothers you so much, Miss Thropp, perhaps we should settle this over coffee. For clarity’s sake.”

Fiyero 🔥:
WHAT
WHAT
EXCUSE ME????

Shenshen 👠:
he turned the coffee date into a challenge this man is wielding charm like a precision tool

Glinda 🌟:
NOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭
NOT THE CASUAL INVITATION
NOT THE COFFEE CALLBACK

Fiyero 🔥:
WHAT
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
COFFEE

Elphaba 💚:
I’m going to say no

Avaric 💸:
Prof asked who she was messaging—oops

Update: she did NOT say no
she blinked
and made a sound like “uh?”

Pfannee the Pfirst:
classic elphaba noise
deeply noncommittal
yet devastatingly endearing

Shenshen 👠:
i think we just witnessed a fossilized flirtation

Fiyero 🔥:
i’m going to pour coffee into the fossil display case
and walk into the ocean

Glinda 🌟:
oh honey
you already live in the ocean of your feelings

Elphaba 💚:
I’M NOT HAVING COFFEE WITH HIM
I PANICKED

Avaric 💸:
yeah
but he smiled
like
full dimples
casually rolling up his sleeves to show off his forearms

Nessa 🕯:
that must be against some kind of faculty code

Boq W.: what do we do now?

Elphaba 💚:
You guys will absolutely NOT do anything.

Fiyero 🔥:
do you know coffee is actually bad for you
it increases cortisol it’s literally a stress chemical in a cup

Glinda 🌟:
you drink three oat milk lattes a day

Fiyero 🔥:
i’m different
mine are medicinal

Pfannee the Pfirst:
So were you on your “medicine” when you did your soft-launch?

Fiyero 🔥:
wait
what if i shut down all the cafés near campus
just for like. two weeks
to buy us time

Shenshen 👠:
you’re spiraling

Fiyero 🔥:
I’M STRATEGIZING

Avaric 💸:
you’re googling “can one man destroy the coffee economy” like it’s a breakup

Nessa 🕯:
she made one sound and he’s ready to dismantle Starbucks

Chapter Text

Shiz University Group Chats Presents:

The Paleontology Professor, Part 7  of ?

[The saga continues. This is written in the same chaotic style and spirit of the Shiz University Group Chats AU but in a separate timeline LOL.]

Part 7: The gang does reconnaissance on Elphaba's coffee date with the professor. Fiyero has an interesting part-time job.

🦖 Pt. 7: Coffee Date Reconnaissance

Group Chat: Fossil Reconnaissance Unit
[ Glinda 🌟 | Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 | Nessarose 🕯 ]

Glinda 🌟:

Okay status update: Elphaba is seated, the professor has been a complete gentleman
And he just made her laugh
Like, a real one
Pfannee’s clutching their pearls

Pfannee the Pfirst:
she tilted her head when he said “disciplinary rigor”
he smiled like it was an inside joke
what is this
who allowed this energy

Avaric 💸:
he slid a piece of paper across the table. real smooth.
that’s how I would do it too tbh

Boq W.:

you’re all missing the real crime here: fiyero is wearing a BARISTA APRON and spelling names like he’s casting a curse

Fiyero 🔥:

I'M FINE
I’M NORMAL
I AM A FUNCTIONING MEMBER OF SOCIETY WHO IS NOT HAVING A PSYCHIC BREAKDOWN OVER A VERY PROFESSIONAL ACADEMIC MEETING OVER COFFEE

Nessa 🕯:
You spelled my name “nasa” and gave me a latte with six shots of caramel syrup
Are you trying to give me diabetes

Shenshen 👠:
not him crouching behind the scone display like he’s doing recon
Your apron is neon orange, it’s kind of hard to miss

Fiyero 🔥:
And you think no one can see you behind that fern???

Avaric 💸:
LOL so much for recon 
the professor waved at all of us. like. individually.
Did he just salute fiyero lmao

Fiyero 🔥:
THAT WAS A CHALLENGE
THAT MAN IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIS POSITION TO STEAL MY GIRL

Glinda 🌟:
OK we’re definitely unpacking THAT later
But did you guys hear what he just said????
i can’t
no i CAN
he said, and I QUOTE
“Let me know your answer, Miss Thropp.”

Fiyero 🔥:
TO WHAT
WHAT IS THIS A QUIZ

Glinda 🌟:
“I hope it’s yes.”
I shouldn’t have come here - i’m ovulating and its making me vulnerable

Pfannee the Pfirst:
I’m not sure what sound just came out of me
I apologize 
Boq is buried under napkin boxes someone go help him
And check on fiyero - he just made a sound like a dying kettle

Boq W.:
I’m fine. I think i’ll lie down here for a while, actually

Elphaba 💚 joined the chat

Boq W.:
Who added her??

Nessa 🕯:
Me.

Elphaba 💚:
I CAN SEE YOU
ALL OF YOU
GLINDA THAT NEWSPAPER IS TWO WEEKS OLD
AND UPSIDE DOWN
WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SPYING ON ME
I’M LEAVING NOW
BYE.

Glinda 🌟:
Uhm hello Fiyero???
RUN AFTER HER???

Fiyero 🔥:
I can’t
Damnit
I’m on my shift
Wait
Elphie 
What was on the paper

Elphaba 💚:
None of your business.

Fiyero 🔥:
Is it like
A proposition?

Elphaba 💚:
…of a sort.

Glinda 🌟:
what KIND of proposition

Shenshen 👠:
professional?
romantic??
scandalocious???

Pfannee the Pfirst:
Let me guess: he wants you to be his sexy promising protege

Boq W.:
just say what it is
i can’t handle the ambiguity
i already drank two anxiety cappuccinos

Elphaba 💚:
It’s an invitation to join his research team.
On fieldwork.
Abroad.

Fiyero 🔥:
ABROAD????

Avaric 💸:
oh we’re in our academic elopement arc now

Fiyero 🔥:
he asked you to leave the country??
WITH HIM???
WHERE???

Glinda 🌟:
Av, get your boy
I think he’s about to faint

Elphaba 💚:
I haven’t said yes.

Fiyero 🔥:
please say no
say no loudly
say no into his stupid archaeological jawline
I take that back
Don’t go anywhere near his jawline

Elphaba 💚:
I haven’t said no either.
I’m thinking about it.

Fiyero 🔥:
cool
cool cool cool

Fiyero 🔥:
thinking is great
you’re a thinker
that’s one of the things I… admire
about you
and apparently so does he
because why wouldn’t he
he has taste and forearms and a research grant and slutty little glasses

Pfannee the Pfirst:
oh no

Elphaba 💚:
Fiyero

Fiyero 🔥:
I mean if I had a dinosaur degree and tenure maybe I’d ask you too
but alas
all I have is this apron and a tray of scones
and a rapidly deteriorating emotional state

Fiyero 🔥:
anyway
good luck with your decision
I hope it’s very academic
and not at all romantic
and that he owns more than one tent

Fiyero 🔥 has left the chat

Chapter Text

The Shiz University Group Chats Presents

The Paleontology Professor, Part 8  of ?

[The saga continues. This is written in the same chaotic style and spirit of the Shiz University Group Chats AU but in a separate timeline LOL.]

Part 8: More details about the upcoming expedition are revealed. It just got even more personal.

🦖 Pt. 8: The Expedition Rumor Mill (Geographical Betrayal Edition)

Group Chat: Fossil Reconnaissance Unit
[ Glinda 🌟 | Fiyero 🔥 | Boq W. | Avaric 💸 | Pfannee the Pfirst | Shenshen 👠 | Nessa 🕯 | Elphaba 💚 ]

Glinda 🌟:
okay so
I HAVE IMPORTANT ACADEMIC GOSSIP
I MEAN UPDATE

Boq W.:
do i wanna know
i feel like i just healed emotionally

Shenshen 👠:
if this is about the professor again i need warning time

Avaric 💸:
too late
the paleontology department website updated their “Upcoming Fieldwork” page 👀

Pfannee the Pfirst:
reads
SCREAM

Boq W.:
link?

Shenshen 👠:
omg boq
zoozle exists

Nessa 🕯:

Here:

shizu.oz.edu/news/shiz-u-first-foray-archeology-fieldwork

Shiz University’s First Foray Into International Archaeological Fieldwork

The Paleontology Department has secured unprecedented access to a fortified cliffside site long considered inaccessible to academic study. Selected students will join faculty…

Professor Henry Loomis, PHD, is leading the university research team.

uhm guys…

Glinda 🌟:
omg
OH MY GOD???

Boq W.:
Glinda are you okay?

Avaric 💸:
tldr
can someone give me the gist

Shenshen 👠:
wait
something something ancestral terrain
something something landmark diplomatic cooperation
something something royal family
oh

Pfannee the Pfirst:
WAIT

Shenshen 👠:
wait

Pfannee the Pfirst:
WAIT WAIT WAIT
GUYS SCROLL DOWN

Glinda 🌟:
ah
aaahhhh
AAAHHHH

Boq W.:
what why is everyone shouting

Glinda 🌟:
…a multidisciplinary excavation at the historic site of Kiamo Ko, marking the university’s first officially sanctioned research expedition beyond Oz’s borders.

Shenshen 👠:
…

Nessa 🕯:
…

Avaric 💸:
oh.
oh that’s personal

Boq W.:
isn’t that

Pfannee the Pfirst:
FIYERO’S ENTIRE BACKSTORY, YES

Boq W.:
but

Shenshen 👠:
the cliffs
the castle
the whole tortured-prince real estate portfolio

Avaric 💸:
ohhhh this is gonna kill him

Fiyero 🔥:
WHAT

Boq W.:
hi
welcome
you good?

Fiyero 🔥:
ARE YOU JOKING

Glinda 🌟:
Okay

Fiyero 🔥:
KIAMO KO?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Glinda 🌟:
Let’s be calm about this!

Fiyero 🔥 is typing…
Fiyero 🔥 is typing…
Fiyero 🔥 is typing…

Avaric 💸:
is he typing or dissociating

Boq W.:
i’m afraid
idk if i should go to class

Fiyero 🔥:
he cannot be serious

Nessa 🕯:
Are you okay?

Fiyero 🔥:
no
actually
i am not

Shenshen 👠:
same

Glinda 🌟:
Fiyero, you have to like
DO SOMETHING

Fiyero 🔥:
like what
i am out of options
it’s not like i can have them construct a barricade or some
wait

Glinda 🌟:
NO
not that
Fiyero, THINK

Fiyero 🔥:
you know i don’t do that
oh
wait
you mean

Glinda 🌟:
YES

Pfannee the Pfirst:
👀

Nessa 🕯:
Oh, dear.