Archive of Our Own ^beta

(5/2) sry i had to go

(5/6) hey

(5/6) im free tomorrow

(5/10) sup

(5/ 14) get over here its just us gilag took everyone out for bbq

(5/20) lmao saw u got yr ass kicked on duel network

(5/24) u ok thomas?

(5/30) thomas answer me

(Read at 8pm 5/30)

Ryouga tossed his d-pad down onto the bed with a growl, watching it bounce up a few inches before landing. He flopped himself down on his back next to it, hearing it bounce again. “Fuck this.”

It had been a whole month. A whole month since he had spoken to Thomas.

He hated to admit it to himself, but he missed the man dearly.

He knew this was his fault. His fuckup. Once again he had alienated and chased away one of the few people close to him, and this time, there was no reset - there was no Numeron Code or whatever had brought Thomas back after he killed him the first time.

There was only the fact that he’d left him on read to assure Ryouga he was alive… which was good, at least, but somehow it hurt a bit more (and he was ashamed of the fact that part of him would rather Thomas be incapacitated or dead somewhere than ignore him.)

He checked the conversation every day, to make sure that he wasn’t missing notifications or anything. Rio had noticed him staring at his d-pad and kept asking who he was talking to, and he tried to play coy - but he knew she probably had a good idea it was Thomas - so the fact that she hadn’t brought it up to him directly was odd.

After all… she’d usually confront him if he was being stupid about something like this.

Instead, she told him that she was his sister and that he could tell her anything, and gave him a sad smile before walking back to Durbe and whispering amongst themselves about something.

(Durbe had to know, too, by now.)

Ryouga checked his d-pad one last time before shutting it off before bed. He knew ignoring the issue would do no good, and he had half a mind to march over to Thomas’s house and demand to see the man… for the fourth time.

Each time, one of the other Arclights had met him at the door and told him Thomas wasn’t there. Michael was apologetic. Chris was direct. Tron just… smiled at him.

Ryouga just put the d-pad into its charging dock and tried to think about anything but Thomas.

“Nasch!” Vector, clad in the Letterman jacket and bright smile he wore as “Rei,” approached Ryouga on his way back from the gym the next week, cornering him in a fenced-in yard he used to cut between the crowded main streets.

Scattered junk littered the dusty ground, as this was outside of the Litterbots’ range, and there were few, if no, cameras here. It was a place Thomas had brought him if they wanted to duel outside - a place few of IV’s fans would look for the celebrity. Ryouga typically looked down here, trying to avoid reminding himself of Thomas, but even the worn-in path that their feet had tread made him think of his (former?) lover.

“Fuck off, Vector. Whatever it is can wait until I get home.”

“You’ll want to hear this, though~” the other man caught up to Ryouga’s pace, and once ahead of him, turned around, walking backwards to force himself into his view.

(How does he do that and NOT fall?)

“I know you’ve been sad about your breakup, but I have a foolproof plan to get you and IV back together!”

Ryouga froze, but stopped walking to acknowledge Vector - knowing, from hundreds of years of having to deal with the man, that ignoring him often led to the worse outcome - if his plotting involved getting your attention, he’d get it through any means necessary.

“What the fuck are you talking about? We were never together, how could we have broken up?”

“We all know about it. You two have been seeing each other for a while now. Usually at his house. Sometimes in this very yard. I hope you two have been using protection, this place is pretty grimy.”

Ryouga tried to look angry, not surprised, but from the look on Vector’s face, something must have given him away.

“Why the fuck are you getting involved, then?”

“Don’t tell anyone, but… maaaaaybe Durbe saw something on Merag's location tracker, and maybe he told all of us “he'll talk about it when he's ready.” So we might have been sworn to secrecy about your little situationship.” Vector leaned forward. “But I'm an impatient man, Nasch, and I want whatever makes you happy” - he held up a hand to preclude the outburst Ryouga’s raised fist foreshadowed - “because when you're happy, you're less of a pain in the ass.”

Ryouga’s clenched fist dropped back to his side.

“Like I'd ask you for help,” he grumbled.

“You're getting my help whether you like it or not. The only choice you get here is whether I involve Yuma. He's trying to figure out why you're moping around like a dying fish - and you know how long it takes him to figure anything out. It's lost its charm.” Vector pouted.

“Don't you dare bring Yuma into this. Whatever is going on with me and Thomas isn't his business.”

“Thomas?” Vector’s eyebrows shot up his forehead, in a mixture of surprise and confusion.

Ryouga immediately realized his mistake and nearly bit his tongue in frustration.

“IV… I mean IV,” he mumbled.

Vector cackled, bracing himself against the wooden fence as he nearly doubled over with laughter, kicking stray screws and aluminum cans as he stomped the ground, kicking dust up in sheer, schadenfreude-fueled joy.

“Oh, you're down bad, aren't you.” Vector grinned at him, but Ryouga could almost see a note of pity (maybe empathy? It couldn't be) in the way the other Barian’s eyes softened ever-so-slightly.

“Shut the fuck up." Ryouga walked away, but he could still hear Vector’s laugh echoing in his skull.

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead!”

Ryouga, upon hearing Vector of all people waking him up in the morning, would normally jump to his feet, hands balled into fists, ready for whatever the other man was plotting, but this morning his thoughts were slow. His eyes were still closed, his body felt so dense it was like it was pinned down by a supernatural force, and his thoughts were mostly of how much he’d like to go back to sleep, and how physically awful he felt. The firm surface he was sitting on didn’t help much-

It took him longer than he liked to realize he was sitting upright, with his hands tied behind his back. He slowly forced his eyes open - they felt like they were glued together by the crusty crud that formed in the corners when he slept for too long - and saw he was seated in his computer chair. Looking behind him, his hands were bound by a metal chain tied around his wrists and the back of the chair.

Ryouga moved his body side to side, trying to thrash back and forth, but his motions were as slow as a tide of molasses, and he barely even managed to wiggle the chair. Vector cackled as Ryouga glared up at him through heavy eyelids.

“Oh, this is priceless.” Vector pulled his D-pad out and snapped a quick photo. “Your pout is really cute here, Nasch.”

“Shut up!” What Ryouga intended to be a roar came out more like a croak.

“Ah, I should tell you what this is about before I do, or else it’d all be pointless.” Vector smirked.

“I don’t care what it’s about, just untie me.”

“No can do, that’s IV’s job. See, I texted your prince charming. He should be on his way to rescue you. And then you two can talk, like adults.” Vector just smiled wider at Ryouga’s spit-take. “That’s not so hard, is it?”

Ryouga felt his face heat up. Stupid, stupid, stupid, he should have known that Vector would use any avenue he could to embarrass him.

“You drugged me, didn’t you-”

“I guess Alit was right about this stuff,” Vector interrupted him as he lifted the bottle of blueberry ale from Ryouga’s bedroom trash can. “It really does taste just like NyQuil.” A malicious grin raised his cheeks and narrowed his eyes as he dropped the bottle back into the garbage, where it clinked against the cans underneath it. “You didn’t even notice, did you?”

Ryouga grit his teeth. He kept trying to squeeze his hands through the chain around his wrists, but to no avail, as it just felt like it was wrapping him up tighter. He tried to pull from the sheer anger that Vector’s face-warping grin summoned in him, to turn himself into his Barian form, but it felt distant and far away, like the rest of his thoughts, floating in a sea of sleepiness and exhaustion.

He was stuck.

“How did you..? Rio brought me the bottle.”

He searched his memories of last night to try and figure out any time Vector could have drugged him. After dinner, Alit brought out some beers, everyone talked about going to see a movie tomorrow... Ryouga and Mizael retired to their respective rooms while the others stayed in the den, chatting and watching the Duel Monsters news channel. (Ryouga had learned to avoid it - IV was featured more than he'd like.) He'd written out several messages to Thomas, deleted them before sending, and moped around until Rio brought him a beer which he downed without a thought-

“What, you don’t think Merag has been frustrated with you too? This whole will-they won’t-they dance, her brother sitting around and feeling sorry for himself, staring at his D-pad all day? It just took a little push… and the guarantee that the dosage I suggested wouldn’t hurt you. Not permanently, at least. If you died, Merag would kill me, and we'd be having a nice chat in Hell right now. Or maybe Barian World. Wherever we go when we croak.”

Vector shrugged and pulled his car keys out of his pocket, snickering as Ryouga struggled against his chains. “She's on the other side of the door, by the way. Wouldn't let me come in to see you alone. She was real good about convincing everyone that you were too tired to go see Dark Side of Dimensions with us, though.”

“Rio…”, Ryouga grumbled, loud enough he hoped she could hear.

“Well, it's been nice talking to you, Nasch, but I've got a movie to catch! Have fun with your little boytoy. Or maybe he has fun with you? I don't know, and I'd rather not think about it!” Vector stepped out of Ryouga’s room, gently closing the door on his way. “Sayonara!”

As Vector’s footsteps faded, they were followed a second later by Rio’s low heels clicking against the wood floor of the hallway.

It was then Ryouga knew he was well and truly fucked.

He wanted to scream and shout and yell for help, but only managed to groan and rasp out Durbe’s name a few times. There was no way for any of them to hear him if they were outside. He let out a deep sigh and continued to try and wiggle his way out of the chains.

Thomas coming to save him… he hated the idea. Not only were the chains digging into his wrists and his pride, they also wrapped coldly around his guilty conscience, reminding him that he was the one who left, that he didn’t even deserve the soft treatment the other man had tried to give him. That they only ever ended up hurting each other over and over and it was a cycle they could never seem to break, a performance just for the two of them.

On his bedside table, his D-pad vibrated, and the same American punk song he’d been wanting to hear for the last few weeks filled his room - but now it was just a knife in his wounds, the bruises on his back and the ones forming around his wrists.

Ryouga tried dragging his feet along the ground, rolling his chair over to his bed, but the carpet under his desk just bunched up under the wheels. In frustration, he kicked the wood of his desk, and the chair wobbled and fell over. Pain shot through his hands and upper back. The chain was still intact, now he was just laying on the floor.

“Fuck…” He wasn’t going to give up. He couldn’t. But his mind was still foggy and his body was still tired. The song faded out.

Silence. Then it started again.

Ryouga closed his eyes and grit his teeth and tried to tune everything out.

He could sleep for a couple hours, and then everyone could come back from the movies and Rio could unchain him once it was clear Thomas wasn’t coming. Or if he woke up after the medicine wore off, he could just battlemorph into his Barian form and break the metal.

It wasn’t ideal, but it was the best plan he had. He tried to relax his body and let sleep wash over him.

“Ryouga… Ryouga, wake up! Oh my god-”

“I am,” he mumbled.

“Oh - oh, ok, good.” Thomas sighed with relief.

Thomas’s shouting could have woken anyone up, but for Ryouga, his heart beating faster didn’t exactly hurt. He opened his eyes and saw his rescuer, face red and covered in sweat, wearing a v-neck t shirt with bleach stains on it.

“Hold on, I’m going to unlock the chains.”

“How do you-”

“The door was unlocked, and Vector left the keys by the entrance. Stupid of him.”

Ryouga snorted a bit. He didn’t know if Thomas had already figured out this was a setup, or if he didn’t know that he knew, but… it was kind of cute, either way, so he kept his mouth shut.

Thomas unlocked the padlock holding the chains together and quickly unwound them, pressing his thumbs into Ryouga’s wrists, massaging the marks the metal had left. Ryouga wanted to sigh from relief, cry from exhaustion, and yelp from the sudden rush of blood back to his hands, but instead he just fell forward onto Thomas, his body limp and heavy from everything he had been through in the last few hours. Thomas nearly fell backward, but managed to catch Ryouga in his arms, and with a crouching start, hefted him up and into a bridal carry.

Ryouga felt himself be lowered onto his bed. It was over. Vector’s dumb ass plan to get him to… what, talk to his… friend? Fuck buddy? Lover? Was over. He assumed the blackmail would come later, but for now, Thomas was here, and he was too tired to do anything, much less have an emotional conversation he honestly wasn’t ready to have.

But he felt Thomas lift his hands off of him, and in that moment, a bolt of clarity snapped him awake just a bit more, and he knew that if he didn’t act now, he might not have another chance. So he reached out, catching Thomas’s fingers in his fist, and gripped for everything he was worth. He felt the strength that he must have had as Nasch, holding the handle of a sword, channeled into Thomas’s thin fingers, begging him to please, not leave.

The bed next to him sank, dipped with the other man’s weight.

“Stay,” Ryouga said.

“Okay,” Thomas said, so quietly that only he could ever hear it.

He threaded his hands through Ryouga’s wavy hair and stroked his scalp. Ryouga’s eyes fluttered closed, and he faded, calmed by the touch.

Ryouga awoke to Thomas playing with his hair. His head was in the other man’s lap, and he looked surprised and a bit embarrassed to see Ryouga’s eyes flutter open.

“Oh… Sorry-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ryouga mumbled. He felt a bit more rested, now, but suffered from the stiff joints and aching muscles of having spent so long sitting and laying down. He wanted nothing more than to get up and stretch everything out, maybe even go to the gym to do so, once he woke up a bit more.

Now that Thomas was here, though, he wasn’t sure how to move forward.

Thankfully, the other man spoke.

“I was selfish. I’m sorry, Ryouga.” Thomas said.

The hand in his hair stopped moving. The thighs his head rested on lost some of their temperature. Thomas blushed, a mixture of embarrassment and something else.

“I knew you just wanted to fuck me, but I still tried to force you to act the way I wanted you to act. Like my boyfriend or something. In the beginning I thought I could keep my feelings to myself, but they were too strong. I thought I was ok with just being fuckbuddies, but… I don't think I ever was. I was a dumbass.” Thomas cradled Ryouga’s calloused hands in his own. His hands were delicate, his knuckles only just bony enough to stick out when the joints bent, but his normally pristine nails showed jagged wear patterns from where they'd been bitten. Even with his eyes sticky and half-closed from sleepiness, and with the thick fringe surrounding Thomas’s face hiding his expression, Ryouga could see tears falling onto their joined hands.

Thomas was never just a warm body to him. He was so much more than that, in the same way Ryouga was no longer just a king and Rio was no longer just a priestess and Durbe was no longer just a knight. Even Vector sometimes showed himself to be more than just his greatest nemesis, though he hated to admit it. Thomas was a faceted gemstone whose sides he loved watching catch the light - that he loved, period. It took him long enough to realize, and he was still beating himself up over it now.

Even if the other man would never hear him say it in those words, it was important for him to know.

He reached up, feeling like his hands were pushing through molasses, slow and purposeful. Ryouga cradled Thomas's face in his hands and met him halfway, lips on lips, sloppily kissing him. Arms around his shoulders, squeezing him like he might disappear from his life at any moment in a shower of sparks. Again.

Thomas pulled away for a second, face bright red and splotched with traces of tears, “Ryouga-”

“No, listen to me.” He knew his voice was coming out slurred, but he couldn't help it. If it was the difference between having Thomas and not having him, he'd do it. These last few weeks were a whirlpool of despair he never wanted to experience again. He had to say it. “I… I don't just wanna fuck you.”

Thomas’s eyes widened. Ryouga’s face burned, the smoulder in his cheeks finding its match in the color of the man above hims. “…Don't make me say it.”

“No, I wanna hear it.” A smile rose onto Thomas's face like the morning sun. He held Ryouga tighter, their hands trembling together. “Come on.”

Ryouga pulled Thomas back down by the collar, their lips meeting again in a brief touch that sent electricity dancing down Ryouga’s spine.

“I like you… idiot.” The words tumbled out, and Ryouga felt at once relieved and terrified.

“Good, cause I've felt the same way for four years now.” Thomas laughed softly. “God, we’re both so fucking stupid.”

Ryouga laughed back, tilting his head and baring his neck to the man above him. Thomas took advantage, leaving gentle, open-mouthed kisses across the planes of the muscles between it and his shoulder. No teeth marks, just the threat of them - the promise that they’d never appear unless asked for.

“And you’re sure you’re ok dating someone like that?” Ryouga said, ruffling Thomas’s hair.

They knew the rest - did they want to date someone with a strange, fluid identity? Someone who had trouble being honest until it was too late? Someone who they had hurt, and had been hurt by?

Thomas lifted his head; echoed Ryouga’s own answer. “Always.”