Archive of Our Own ^beta

            It was a couple weeks after Harry's ghost had apparently disappeared. A lot of us didn't know how to take it. I didn't even know his ghost was in town. Empty night. What a sentence. It was the kind of thing I would crack jokes about with my brother. But...now he was gone. And it hurt. More than wanted it to. As a White Court Vampire I knew firsthand how badly love can hurt. Which is why I visited the one person I knew would be hurt more than I ever could be. 
            I gave the her door three solid knocks. Got nothing. Repeated the process several times. Then I heard the click of the lock and her door opened slightly. The peek I got of the woman I knew looked...nothing like the Karrin Murphy I knew. Her hair had grown out to her shoulders and there were heavy bags under her eyes. Blue eyes surrounded by bloodshot red. 
            "Karrin," I said gently, "Let me in."
            "Why?" She snarled, "Why can't you people just leave me the fuck alone?"
            "Because I care about you, Karrin." I told her, "Empty Night, we're your friends."
            "Great," She said dismissively, "Cool. You can still fuck off. I'm not inviting you in."
            "Murphy, C'mon!" I nearly shouted, "I'm not leaving until you talk to me."
            She silently snarled at me. Then threw the door open so hard it bounced aggressively off the wall. She turned her back to me and started walking away. Hugging her stomach. I shut the door gently behind me and approached her with the caution one does when approaching a predator. There was no need to reason to dance around the subject. 
            "Listen," I said carefully, "About Harry."
            "Don't," She said in a voice barely audible.
            “He loved you, Karrin,” I said, gently, “You know that, don’t you?”
            “Stop it,” She snapped weakly, “Stop it right now.”
            “And I know you loved him, too-”
            The little blonde twirled to face me, her jaw set and her piercing blue eyes furious. But she couldn’t stop the tears that began to spill from them.
            “Can you just stop?” She pleaded, her little nose turning red, “Can’t you see that this is killing me?!” Her breathing became shaky and audible in harsh high pitched squeaks.
            I didn’t say anything. She needed an outlet. I was giving it to her.
            “Every night,” She choked, “I cry myself to sleep, terrified that he’s really gone! That I’ll never see him again! And he died without ever hearing me tell him that-”
            She paused, and her already red cheeks flushed with more color. Then, in her eyes, I saw a steel resolve. Like she had made a decision.
            “That I love him,” She finished in a soft whimper. She sniffed and straightened her shoulders. Her azure gaze furious. “Is that what you wanna hear? Huh?” She punched my shoulder, hard as she started to scream. Her voice cracking with despair, “Well, you fucking vampire? Wanna rub it in that you were right all along? That I was stupid for turning him down all those years ago? For letting my insecurities get the better of me? Huh?”
            She punched my chest some more. It hurt. A lot. But not nearly as much as it hurt to hear her this way. Or see her this way. Harry would always go on and on about the strength that Karrin Murphy wielded. How her bravery inspired him. Her courage.
            To see her reduced to this…
            I raised my hands up to catch her fists. She tried to pull away but I didn’t let her.
            “He’s not gone!” Murphy screamed, “He can’t be gone! I can’t be too late! I..”
            I pulled her closer to me, gently. She buried her head in my chest and sobbed. I wrapped my arms around her and fought not to cry myself. I blinked a couple times. I was almost grateful for the ache that went through my heart. It diluted the demon within me that calculated just how to use Karrin's vulnerability against her. How to convince her that what she needs is a night of sinful carnal desire and pleasure. How she could be weak to my influence due to me being a White Court Vampire.
            I bit that down and took steady shaky breaths. And just held Karrin while she sobbed.
            “Give him back,” She whimpered softly.
            “I would if I could, Murph,” I told her, “Believe me. You two deserved better.”
            “I miss him, Tommy.”
            “I know.”
            “I love him.”
            “I know.”
            She sniffed. “Yeah…you always did.” 
            “It was easy to tell. I have eyes.”
            She laughed a little and it transitioned to a cry. I held her for a long time. And silently cursed my brother, for never making a move. 
            These two idiots were in love. And now Harry was gone.
            There’s nothing more painful than a wasted love.
            “I’m so sorry, Murph,” I said. 
            “You’re my friend, Thomas,” She said, “Call me Karrin.”
            I smiled. She was opening up. At least a little. 
            She truly believed Harry would come back. She had hope. And that hope in her eyes, now filled with tears, suddenly made the future not seem so bleak. 
            Because…what if…what if she was right? And my brother came back?

            Then, months later, Harry did come back and I was filled with a roller coaster of emotions. Anger. Sadness. Joy. It was all overwhelming. So I could only imagine how Karrin was taking it. The whole day was filled with the kind of chaos only my brother could bring. 
            I don’t know what they talked about in that spare bedroom in Molly’s apartment, but they both came out looking like they’d been crying. 
            Karrin seemed lighter on her feet though. Throughout the most recent little escapade she seemed more like her old self. Cheery. Laughing. Smiling. It was good to see her that way. 
            I had stared slack jawed as she launched herself off my boat, onto the pier and revved the engine of her Harley, and rode to Harry.
            The Wild Hunt was chasing him, intent on murdering him and Harry had sent us away to be safe. I could see it hurt Karrin to leave him. 
            Which is why she rode back to him, parked the Harley and screamed, “Get on the bike, bitch! We’ll make them work for it!”
            Her smile was a wicked one. Full of devilish delight. Harry’s smile wasn’t any less enthusiastic as he, without hesitation, climbed aboard her Harley and wrapped his arm around her waist. I didn’t see them for a while after they had ridden off. 
            The next time I saw them, Karrin was still driving the Harley with Harry clinging to her. On top of Lake Michigan. Riding the waves like her Harley was a boat. 
            Okay. That was cool.
            But not nearly as cool as when I watched Karrin take up the Winchester rifle Harry had been carrying and popping off several enemies with it with ease. Or when she oh so casually lobbed grenades at the enemy boats. 
            I love my Justine. She’s my forever and always.
            But man am I willing to admit that Harry was one lucky son of a bitch to have Karrin.
            I lost sight of them after that and didn’t see them again until the drama on the island of Demonreach. 
            Maeve, the twisted Winter Lady, had Karrin hogtied to the ground and a gun pointed at my brother. None of us could really do anything as she executed the Summer Lady right in front of us.
            She noticed Karrin freak out every time the gun was leveled at Harry and seemed to take joy in her horror.
            We had all forgotten about Karrin’s ankle gun. So when The Winter Lady aimed her gun at Harry with the final intent to kill. She never had a chance.
            Karrin had, without any hesitation, blown her brains out. The mantle of Winter Lady however found a new host in our dear friend Molly. 
            That. Scared me.
            After Harry had a talk with Mab about it, he had a very long private conversation with Karrin. One that ended with them both crying. 
            As my boat pulled away from the island and we left my brother behind, I noticed with some internal glee, that Harry stood at the end of the dock. Never taking his eyes off of Karrin. And she never took her eyes off him.
            “So,” I said, “He’s back.”
            “Yeah,” She breathed, then giggled slightly, “He really is.”
            I arched an eyebrow at her and she noticed. 
            “What?” She asked.
            “For someone who I assumed had her heart broken a moment ago, you seem awful giggly.”
            Her cheeks flushed a little.
            “I have no idea what you mean.”
            “Uh huh.”
            Silence followed for some time. I was staring at the shores of Chicago when she spoke up again.
            “He kissed me.”
            I Nodded. Then blinked.
            “What?”
            Karrin gave me an almost bashful smile. Much too bashful for her age. 
            “He kissed me,” She repeated, “Well technically I kissed him first, for luck.”
            “Right,” I said, drawing out the word.
            “But he…he didn’t. Not for luck anyway.”
            “Oh.” I said and gave her a lopsided smile. Harry may not have told her he loved her. But the look of bashful joy in Karrin's face and the twinkle in her eye told me she felt his love in that kiss. 
            Man. Seeing her beam like that? Was great. 
            After I dropped Karrin off at her place and I got home I told Justine everything. 
            I gave her a funny look when the part she got the most giddy about was Harry laying one on Karrin.
            Of course.
            Over the course of the next year we tried to visit Harry on the island as much as possible. But it wasn’t easy. There was something…wrong with the island. Going there flooded you with very unpleasant feelings and reminders of your darker days. 
            We muscled through it for Harry’s sake. There were days where it was too much for me. Ok those days Karrin asked to borrow the keys. 
            Harry was right. She was strong. 
            But then the visiting stopped altogether. And so did the letters from Harry. 
            Karrin was the first next to me to plan some kind of rescue. But the lake had been nearly frozen over and the Water Beetle wouldn’t have survived the journey. So we just had to wait. 
            Or pray in Karrin and Michael’s case.

            It wasn’t until I heard about an attack at some fancy hotel and a robbery at Marcone’s bank that I clued in that Harry was back in town again. For reasons that, while I didn’t like them, made sense Harry couldn’t involve much of his allies. 
            Except Karrin Murphy. 
            Don’t ask me if I was offended that he went to her for help. That she was his first choice. Because I wasn’t. He’s known her longer. And I would’ve been annoyed if he hadn’t gone to her first. 
            Of course, I’m sure Harry wasn’t seeing it that way now. 
            Karrin was in the hospital, brutally crippled by some demon powered asshole who then got his ass beat by some Star Wars nerd who liked Polka music. He got away, and some small part of me was glad. Because if anyone deserves to take him down.|
            It’s Harry and Karrin.
            Mostly Karrin. 
            Justine and I visited her at the hospital a couple of times, but one day in particular I went by my lonesome. 
            It was sometime after her surgery when I stopped by and when I opened the door she looked up at me with a smile and a quick shushing gesture. She was laid flat on her back unable to sit up, but not due to her injuries. 
            Harry was there at her bedside, his head rested on her stomach. His arms were almost holding her so gently that it seemed even in his sleep he was afraid of breaking her. 
            I got the message and nodded. She smiled and continued what I assumed was her previous activity before I interrupted. Running her fingers through my brother's hair.
            “Hey,” I said softly.
            “Hey,” She whispered.
            “Do you want me to go?”
            She shook her head. “No, you’re fine.” She looked at the flowers in my hand and raised an eyebrow. 
            “I know I know,” I said, “I just…wanted to give you something nice.”
            She rolled her eyes but they trailed back down to my brother. Still asleep with his head on her stomach, keeping her from sitting up. He must’ve fallen asleep while waiting for her to wake up.
            “You two, I swear,” She said softly. Not once taking her eyes off of the wizard. She caught me staring and grinning like an idiot. “What? What are you standing there looking all smug for, pretty boy?”
            I crossed my arms and smiled at her. Then nodded my head at the sleeping Harry. 
            “That’s just adorable,” I said smugly, “Almost like he loves you or something.”
            I had expected Karrin to blush furiously and stammer. Afraid Harry would hear me. Instead she just smiled, while her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink. She brushed her fingers through Harry’s hair again and chuckled softly.
            “Yeah,” Was all she said. Or “breathed” is probably the most accurate descriptor. I raised an eyebrow at her and opened my mouth to ask one of the million questions my hopeful heart suddenly created. Did he finally tell her? Did she tell him? Was this finally happening?
            Harry made a small noise and stirred. He rubbed his eyes as he awoke, lifting his head slowly. When he saw Karrin was awake he sat up straight quicker. Taking his weight off of her.
            “Karrin,” He stammered, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to keep you prisoner under my big head.”
            She giggled, and it was a sound I hadn’t really heard much if ever. Figures only my brother the wizard can bring that out of her. She brushed his hair again with her fingers before resting her palm against his cheek. 
            “It’s okay,” She said sweetly, “Just let me sit up.”
            Karrin tried to sit up on her own, but Harry’s hands quickly moved to hover over her. She frowned at him and he backed off. Slightly. Once she was fully up she leaned forward as much as she could and said, “Pillows?”
            Harry adjusted the pillows for her to lay back against. It was only then she nudged her chin in my direction. Harry turned and saw me. His own face reddened ever so slightly as he stood up to meet me. 
            “Thomas?” He said, “How long have you been here?”
            I clasped my hand in Harry’s and shook it, grinning. “Long enough to see you aren’t getting enough sleep, little brother.”
            He rolled his eyes. Then turned to Karrin and took her hand. “I'm gonna go grab some grub, you need anything?” He asked her gently. 
            She shook her head and smiled at him so brightly I swear I thought I’d need sunglasses. Then she tilted her head and she closed one eye in thought. A soft hum escaping her closed lips. 
            “Actually,” She said, “Maybe something to eat? 
            He nodded. “Hospital food or edible food?”
            She gave him a look that was accompanied with a smirk. 
            “Gotcha,” He said and stood up from his chair and leaned in close to Karrin, “I’ll be back, okay?”
            She snorted. “Okay, Arnold.”
            Harry smiled and Karrin did too. Then Harry Dresden cupped Karrin Murphy’s chin and gently kissed her lips. They stayed connected like that for what to them must not have felt long enough. Because when they separated Karrin went in for another quick one. Then another. 
            When Harry finally pulled away to leave, her blue eyes shone with love and adoration. 
            I, meanwhile, was on the verge of screaming and jumping up and down. My jaw was giving in to gravity and my eyebrows were trying to reach my hairline. 
            “Wha-uh,” I stammered, “uh”
            As you can see I was very much not struggling with words. Even slightly. 
            “What’s the matter, Thomas?” Harry asked, his voice dripping with smug satisfaction, “Shouldn't you have seen this coming? I mean you said before it was just so obvious.”
            I didn’t get a chance to respond when he had already left the room snickering. Once he was gone the only sound in the room for a while was Karrin’s weak attempts to stifle her own laughter. 
            “You,” She tittered, “You should s-s-see the look on your…on your face!”
            I rubbed my eyes cartoonishly and that was all she needed to start laughing. I started chuckling to, still bewildered. 
            "When the hell did THAT happen?" I stammered out. 
            She shrugged while wearing a smarmy grin. "You could argue years ago," She said happily, "But...if you wanna be accurate I guess you could say...the day after I admitted."
            She blinked with surprise when I launched myself for the seat Harry had been in before me. I must've had crazy eyes because she started laughing again. 
            "Details woman!" I said frantically, "Don't leave me in suspense!"
            Karrin rolled her pretty blue eyes, unable to hide her smile. 
            "He came here once he was done with that Hades business, and it was close to visiting hours being over. I don't think he was aware but he looked so anxious. Waiting for Butters to leave. I still felt...awful about the sword." She stopped for a moment, her smile fading, "In some ways, I still do. But...all that went away. At least for that night."
            "How so?"
            Her cheeks reddened and she gave me a steady look. "I was in the middle of telling him he needed to heal. To get better. When he kissed me." She blushed harder and continued, her eyes looking off into nothing. "He was so...confident and gentle. He held my chin in his hands as he did. Then he told me I needed to heal too. To get better. Because he had plans for-"
            She blinked and suddenly snapped back to the present and somehow blushed even harder. I couldn't help but snicker a little. 
            "Don't stop now it was getting good."
            "Nuh uh," Karrin retorted, "That's private. But...let's just say I'm really looking forward to recovery for more than just recoveries sake."
            I stared at her blankly for a moment before laughing. Hard. She joined in after a while. So hard she was crying. I got up and hugged her as tight as I could without hurting her and kissed her cheek. 
            "Thomas?" She asked.
            "This is probably the last time I'll be able to hug you without burning," I explained, "Let me have this moment."
            I heard her snort as she wrapped her working arm around me.
            I was on my way out as Harry was heading back in. He was carrying a brown paper bag that smelled like the steak sandwiches from Mac's. I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him in close.
            "Don't fuck this up, Harry," I said firmly, "Don't waste time or I will never forgive you. Tell her you love her. Blatantly. Then marry her."
            I didn't give Harry a chance to respond. Pay back is a bitch. I laughed all the way to my Hummer, probably looking like a mad man. I sat in the drivers seat for a while, fiddling with my pentacle amulet. 
            "He did it, Ma," I whispered, "He really did it."
            I wiped my eyes and started my car, beginning the drive home. I had to tell Justine. 
            "It's about time."