Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Merlin.”

A sigh falls from Merlin’s lips as he attempts to ignore Arthur.

“Merlin!”

Merlin turns to Arthur with a raised brow, “Yes, sire?” He says and crosses his arms at him.

Arthur looks at him from his desk. He didn’t need anything from his manservant for once, he just wanted to look at him.

It’s not an unknown fact that Arthur is in love with Merlin, really he wouldn’t be surprised if all Camelot knew of his affections to the man.
He’s quite obvious about it according to Morgana.

“Are you just going to sit there and stare at me?” Merlin huffs and Arthur blinks, he really is beautiful.
The deep blue eyes and the body that’s slowly gained muscle over the years, he’d make Merlin a knight if that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be the one to wake him in the mornings or be the one he sees last at night.

His clothing is something to be fixed, Arthur has slowly been giving Merlin some of his clothes with the lie that he doesn’t like them anymore or that they don’t fit. Really he just wants to see Merlin in his clothes.

“Merlin, I… need to tell you something,” he says, unusually timid he knows but he can’t hold it in anymore. He needs to tell him or he might explode.

Merlin lowers his arms from how they’re crossed and his eyebrows furrow, gaze darting over all of Arthur that causes a blush to rise to his cheeks, “What is it?”

Arthur can hear the hesitancy in his voice, the concern bleeding through his tone.

He fidgets, Arthur starts to fidget with the paper on his desk. It’s one thing to imagine telling Merlin but it’s another thing to actually do it.

“I… I just,” he glances down and takes a deep breath, he looks back up at him, “You’re… one of the people I trust the most, I know I never say it but I really appreciate you, Merlin,” he says, a nervous smile on his face.

He watches Merlin blink and return his smile, “Oh… thanks, Arthur?” He says, tilting his head, “Where did this come from?”

Arthur stands up and walks around the desk to be closer to Merlin, “It’s about time I tell you,” he gives a half shrug, “You’re really important to me, you’re…” Arthur trails off.

Merlin hums, “Thanks… you’re important to me too Arthur, you’re my, best friend,” Arthur looks at him at that.

The prince bites his cheek, “You are too…” he says then inhales, “Merlin?”

Merlin nods, “Yes?”

Arthur clenches his fist, “I… what if I felt more than that?” He asks him nervously and Merlin furrows his eyebrows, “More then what?”

Arthur leans onto the desk, “More than friendship?” He says tentatively.

Arthur watches as Merlin tenses, “You can’t, Arthur,” he tells him and Arthur frowns, “Why not?”

“You can’t, Arthur.”

Arthur pushes himself up, “But I do, Merlin… I do, for a while,” he insists and Merlin takes a step back.

Merlin narrows his eyes at him, “You can’t, okay, you’re the king and I’m just a servant,” he says firmly and Arthur feels his heart drop.

Merlin shakes his head, “I’m going to get your dinner, sire,” he says and turns to leave.

Arthur stares after him, he thought… he thought that…
“Merlin…?” He whispers after his servant had left.

Arthur was so sure that Merlin had felt the same. The long eye contact they held in moments where it all felt too much, devotion that seems never ending, it all just felt…

Arthur collapses back in his chair, he was wrong. He was so wrong. And now he’s ruined everything.