Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“And this morning, we have with us an absolutely wonderful guest, best selling novelist and author of the new whirlwind romance Moments at Midnight, which is available in book stores today! Everyone, please welcome Tsuge-sensei! It’s so good to have you back on the show with us again, Tsuge-sensei!”

“Thank you,” Tsuge bowed his head, moderately uncomfortable in his chair and still struggling with the stage lights. “I am very happy to be back as well.”

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I heard from another novelist recently that she confines herself to her apartment until the first manuscript is complete - are you like that as well, Tsuge-sensei?”

“Ah … no, can’t say that I am,” he awkwardly smiled. “I like to take a walk every now and then, and meet up with friends. But sometimes I will spend a lot of time at my computer to find just the right words!”

“That’s lovely, it’s lovely to know you haven’t been stuck in a room this whole time!” The host laughed politely. “So the new book, Moments at Midnight - has it been in the making ever since our last interview?”

“Not quite. I think it’s important to take breaks and wait for the right inspiration to come along. I have only been working on this book for the past year or so.”

“In a few words, would you tell our viewers what the story is about?”

“I think it’s quite complicated, this one,” Tsuge smiled, fixing his glasses. “It is a very sweet love story between two young guardian angels who fell for each other at first sight, but … you know, it’s also so much more than that. It’s a story of building something more than just a fleeting moment of emotion, a story of inexperience and doubts, a bit of a fantasy with flights among the stars, a bit of a coming of age thing as they both grow as angels, as partners, as guardians … and somewhat of a light comedy as well, because navigating a relationship around such a tight work schedule comes with all sorts of awkward moments. I think it’s a very other-worldly love … but I’ve tried to write it in a way that’s very human.”

“Amazing! Incredible! That sounds absolutely delightful! I have to admit, I’ve asked my sister to pick up a copy for me today because I’ll be working late, but I still wanted to read it as soon as I get home! You’ve only made me more excited, haha. It’s such a novel concept, isn’t it?”

“I’m not sure … when I first pitched it to my publisher, they mentioned there are quite a few love stories about angels out there. And I didn’t particularly strive to make it unique - I just told the story I wanted to tell.”

“But I think it’s exactly that authenticity that your readers connect with the most! And I do really think it’s unique - perhaps not the angels, but as you’ve said, that you’ve written it in a very human way?”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“I think that would be a wonderful experience to read! I’ve always read angel novels with this fantastical feeling, I think most are quite … how would I put it, graceful and serene? But the way you’ve described Moments at Midnight, I don’t know, I can almost see two angels counting down minutes until their humans fall asleep so they can see each other again, and that … that’s just so funny and relatable! Tsuge-sensei, you are truly so incredibly innovative!”

“Thank you.”

“Do you perhaps have a favorite scene from the book you’d be willing to share with us?” The host asked, showing a copy of the book off to the camera before handing it to Tsuge.

“I think I do …” Tsuge slowly flipped the pages before reading out the paragraph he’d chosen in advance.

They lay beneath the stars, holding hands. It is the middle of nowhere, the middle of nothing, all else asleep but their feelings only now blooming, only now having space.

“It’s been hard lately, hasn’t it …”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. He’s just so stressed with these deadlines at work, he’s barely slept this week.”

“That’s okay … it’ll pass soon.”

“I hope so. And you?”

“The same as always, I think. She started an advanced knitting class this week, I’ve been doing my best to follow along! Ryu, would you wear a sweater if I made you one?”

“Kazuki, they don’t make knitting patterns with wing holes on the back … do they?”

“They don’t … but I would - for you!”

“It’s that advanced of a class, huh?”

“That advanced of a love, that’s right!”

“... I think this is a good example of what their relationship is like,” Tsuge gently closed the book in his lap, making sure the cover was still turned slightly towards the camera like he’d been instructed to do.

“A knitted sweater? So cute! I’d want a boyfriend like that too~”

“I think many people would,” Tsuge nodded along.

“But did I hear that right, are the main protagonists both male angels?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“How interesting! Is that another focal point of the story, or … ?”

“Not really. As many of us who’ve asked too many questions growing up know, angels don’t categorize these things the same way many of us do, so in a way, this novel in particular has been a big exercise in perspectives for me, because I wanted it to be true to their world too, not just ours. And to them, this is just nothing of note, really.”

“That’s incredible - you really do push yourself further and further each time! So I have to ask - was there any particular inspiration behind the new book?”

“It is based on a true story I heard a bit about,” Tsuge innocently smiled, casting a glance at Rokkaku who was standing in the corner of the studio, hiding his face in his hands.

“Really? Tsuge-sensei, was that from your own angel perhaps!?”

“It was, yes.”

“Still the same angel as last time?”

“Yes, still the same.”

“What a truly devoted artist you are! Well, of course I wish you all the best, but on behalf of your readers at least, I am sure I can say that we are very happy you choose to share your romantic genius with all of us! Thank you very much for joining me today, Tsuge-sensei! And to everyone at home, do pick up a copy of Moments at Midnight at your local bookstore today!“

“Romantic genius, seriously …” Tsuge sighed once they finally left the TV station. “I wouldn’t even know how to talk to a pole if I walked into one,” he grumbled, stopping at a street crossing before a red light.

“I think you did great,” Rokkaku encouraged him.

“I hope so. Well, it’s over now,“ he took another deep breath relaxing his shoulders. “Should we get takeout and do nothing for the rest of the day?”

“Yay! I want noodles!”

“Sounds good to me … nice ring, by the way,” he smiled, looking at Rokkaku’s hand. “I was gonna say something in the morning, but I forgot. Was that the gift?”

“Ah … ahaha … mhm! Yup! Kaito gave it to me!”

“That’s cute.”

“He made it himself! He made two, actually …”

“He’s wearing the other one?”

“Y-Yeah,” Rokkaku nodded, the blush starting to show by now.

“It’s almost like you’re married,” Tsuge chuckled.

“... he asked if we could be husbands,” Rokkaku quietly confirmed it.

“Huh? Since when do you guys get married?”

“We don’t. But we did it anyway. He said he likes the word husband. He said it suits me. He even kneeled. I love him so much …” Rokkaku nervously rambled while playing with his ring. “A-And besides, we spend most of our time down here anyway, and humans get married all the time, s-so … we’re just blending in!”

“That’s nice. I’m happy for you.”

It was a quiet train ride home - but not in a bad way. Tsuge seemed at peace, at least.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask …” Rokkaku finally opened up the topic as they settled in their apartment and Tsuge was scrolling on his phone to order food. “How are you doing with romance lately?”

Tsuge sighed, shrugging his shoulders. Rokkaku wondered if he was going to say he had given up again.

“I’ve been thinking about it … mostly in that I haven’t been thinking about it.”

“Oh. Okay?”

“Like, you’d think … you’d think I’d have it worse after Adachi started dating Kurosawa, but honestly … I don’t know. I think it was very comforting to have someone to share the loneliness with, even if we didn’t really talk about it directly. But maybe it was too comfortable? Or maybe I find Adachi’s relationship kinda encouraging? I don’t know. What I do know … is that I don’t actually feel lonely right now. Not frustrated or annoyed either. I think I’m happy quite often? Content, at least.”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah,” Tsuge chuckled to himself. “Somehow, being exposed to such an intense couple made me reevaluate, I guess. I think seeing my best friend date an angel kinda pulled the whole idea firmly into ‘impossible’ territory, but … well, I was preoccupied with freaking out about how to even approach them after that, but they were both so welcoming, so by the time I really sat down and faced the fact that Adachi had moved on and it was just me still stuck being single … it didn’t really feel bad anymore? I have a cozy home, the career I’ve always wanted, friends who care about me … that’s not a bad life. I don’t want to be overly pessimistic about it.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Rokkaku gently clapped his hands together.

“... although I do still … kinda wish for it,” Tsuge finally added, his voice somewhat melancholic. “I spend so much time writing about tight embraces and soft kisses, and I’d like to at least know how that feels. And I think I would be an alright partner?”

“Oh I think you’d be lovely,” Rokkaku agreed.

“But also a mess, let’s be realistic,” Tsuge painstakingly smiled. “I’d be nervous beyond belief, who would even want to put up with that …”

“I’m sure Adachi was nervous too!”

“And I’m sure Kurosawa being an angel helped,” he gave Rokkaku the side eye before rolling his eyes. “Well, but there could be someone who wouldn’t mind me, right? Especially if I’m honest about my lack of experience …”
“There definitely could be!”

“... maybe I’ll find them some day. Like, you know … maybe I should actually put more effort in. Get some nicer clothes that aren’t just for TV interviews, new glasses with whatever frames are modern now, maybe attend some of those events my publisher keeps inviting me to? Because I have to meet people to find someone, right?”

“Kinda, yeah …”

“Well I can’t do that just wilting away at my computer, so … yeah, I’ll do something about it … eventually. Right now though … I think I’m alright. I think life is good. Depending on how well the new book does, maybe we can even consider moving to a bigger apartment sometime this year? A place where I can actually host someone properly.”

“With a king sized bed!” Rokkaku happily suggested.

“Don’t jump to conclusions!” Tsuge blushed, hiding his face with his hands. “I was just thinking of, like, a kitchen table with four nice chairs … geez.”

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll shut up,” Rokkaku laughed, finding a flustered Tsuge incredibly amusing. “But hey, by the time you’d be using that bed, I’ll be gone anyway!”

“... yeah, that’s the other thing,” Tsuge bit his lip. “You’re pretty cool … I’ll miss you, you know? If we ever do have to say goodbye.”

“Ah, don’t worry about that, Masato! Your sleeping schedule is a joke - I’m sure I could find the time to visit even if I’m on another assignment.”

“I thought that was boyfriend- sorry, husband time though?” Tsuge tried to tease him back.

“It is, but … love isn’t everything,” Rokkaku smiled. “You’re my friend, and that’s important too.”

“... thanks. Well, we’ll get there when we get there, right?”

“Absolutely! I’m not pressuring you or anything, just wanted to check in … and I dunno, I guess I wanna make sure you’re okay with me and Kaito?”

“Hmm … well, between you and Adachi, you guys sure are laying it on a little thick when it comes to doting partners,” Tsuge nodded. “But I can also see how happy it makes you, and that … really, I think it’s wonderful. Especially you: I didn’t think you could get any giddier, but somehow you have. I’m glad you have someone you love who loves you back … and I’m sorry for all the nights I miss sleep so you can’t get any time alone with him.”

“Don’t be sorry at all! Masato, it’s perfectly fine, we see each other enough, and you should sleep for your own sake, not mine!”

“Well the book is done, the interview is done, and they haven’t given me the dates for the signings yet, so … I am absolutely snoozing like a chopped log tonight. Oh, and noodles are on the way.”

“Perfect! You’re the best!” Rokkaku happily jumped up. “Oh … right, before I forget, there’s just one other thing …”

“Yes?”

“Minato’s acclimation assignment is coming up soon … would it be okay if I mentored him? You wouldn’t have to deal with him at all, he’d just come live with us and I’d show him what it’s like day to day being a guardian, and I’d help him integrate in the human world, that kinda thing.”

“Sure …”

“Yay! Thanks Masato, you’re the best!”

“... just let me know what kinda phone case he’d like.”

“What? Really? You’d get a phone for him too?!”

“If you have one, and Kurosawa had one, and Hoshimiya has one … what’s one more?” Tsuge shrugged with a smile. “He needs to feel integrated, right? Add him to the group chat then - it’s just how we do things here now, I guess.”

“Man you are seriously the best!!”

“... you’re welcome.”

What would adding one more angel to his friend circle even change at this point?

Nothing, Tsuge thought.

And eventually, he’d come to learn that he was very, very wrong.

Chapter Text

"Well, this is it - welcome home!"

… this was it, huh. Minato sighed, looking around Tsuge's apartment where he'd be spending his time for the foreseeable future. A tiny hallway area … a small bathroom … a barebones kitchen space, although pretty neat and tidy … a living space with a low table and an old couch … a computer desk … a bed with Tsuge drooling lightly on his pillow … a door leading out to the tiniest space pretending to be a balcony, and … books. Shelves upon shelves upon shelves of books.

It felt absolutely suffocating.

"I know it's small, kinda cramped too I guess, but we might be moving to a bigger place soon!" Rokkaku chimed in, waving his arms around to give Minato a tour as if the one person apartment couldn't be adequately processed in a single glance.

"I see … thanks, Yuuta. Where should I put myself?"

"I usually chill on the couch."

"Okay. And, uh … thanks. I'll do my best to take in a bunch of stuff about the human world," Minato did his best to put on a smile.

"Don't worry about it - I'm just glad we'll get to spend more time together! Plus you can hang out with me and Kaito sometimes, that'd be cool too, right?"

"… if he won't be jealous of me," Minato chuckled.

"He won't! He's really sorry about last time, you know?"

"Yeah, haha … I could tell. You really got yourself a great guy, huh?"

"Mhm … ahhh, Minato, I love him so much!"

"I'm happy for you."

"And you? I mean- I know it's been- but last I remember, you were going out with someone? What happened?"

"Eh … didn't work out," Minato waved it off.

"Bad breakup?" Rokkaku asked.

"Not necessarily? I was fed up with myself for failing over and over again … I'm sure he was too. That's all."

"I'm sorry …"

"Eh. It is what it is. Right now, I'm not even thinking of dating until I complete training … and then, who knows. It looks really impractical to be doing that down here."

"We make do," Rokkaku nodded along.

"Yeah … looks like there's a lot of that coming up for me," Minato sighed, sinking into the corner of the couch.

He could see the stars out through the window next to Tsuge's bed, but he chose to avert his eyes to the human instead. That's where his future was … not up in the sky anymore.

Tsuge Masato, 32, romance novelist. Very popular in writing, not at all popular in person. Somewhat decently financially situated in recent years due to the success of his books, but still living in the same apartment he moved into after graduating from university … and evidently on much the same budget too. Nervous and formal, but kind and quite funny every now and then. Insecure but aware of it, and doing his best not to make it other people's problem. Friends include Adachi, Kurosawa and tentatively, kinda, maybe, on occasion the other members in Kurosawa's band as well. He also gets along with Kaito. Hobbies: just books and writing. Owns a motorcycle, but hadn't taken it anywhere in years. Romantic prospects: absolutely none.

That was as much as he had gathered from everything Yuuta had told him about his human. And apparently this was one of the better options? Geez … okay, okay, no, he should be positive … and keep an open mind. If Yuuta is having a good time on this assignment, surely there's gotta be something to it. Maybe that's why an acclimation period is required … maybe once he spends enough time around humans, Minato will get it too.

If nothing else, he remembered the food from his short stint looking over Adachi until Kurosawa showed up. And human food was pretty good actually, he wouldn't mind some more. Right, but that would mean that Tsuge would need to spend even more on food than he already does for himself and Yuuta, and why would-

"Oh I almost forgot! I don't know if he wanted to give it to you himself, but I think it's simpler if I help you set it up so we can hit the ground running in the morning - here's your phone!" Rokkaku smiled, handing him a box.

"… my phone?"

"Yeah. I have one too! As does Kaito, and the one Kurosawa has was also bought by Masato when he was still an angel."

"… why?"

"Ah, when Kurosawa and Adachi started dating, Masato was upset that he couldn't talk to Adachi's partner and he felt kinda excluded, so this was the solution we came up with! He bought Kurosawa a phone, then I kinda wanted one so he got one for me too, and before Kurosawa became human, all four of us would message in the same chat, so I could talk to Adachi and Kurosawa could talk to Masato. We still do it now, just because it's fun - but also, Kurosawa can't do telepathy with his angel friends anymore."

"Right …"

"Anyway, I think Masato has kinda gotten used to being able to communicate with the angels he's around, so … I mean, you don't have to join the chat if you don't want to! But we'd be happy to have you."

"I'll try … can you show me how to use this thing?"

"Easy peasy, I'm on it! I'll get you hooked up with all my favorite stickers too, you're gonna love it!"

"… thanks," Minato sighed as Rokkaku sat beside him, showing him how to use the phone.

Maybe he was wrong? If he could get a whole phone … maybe asking for some food would be okay too? Or maybe that would be way over the line, given how much Tsuge had already given him? Ugh … he had no idea how any of that worked down here. But that's fine … he's here to learn. So he will learn, right?

Rokkaku set up the phone for him, and Minato gave it a try with an introductory message to Tsuge.

"Hi. Good morning. It's Minato. Yuuta showed me the phone. I wasn't expecting that, thanks. Also thanks for letting me stay with you guys."

Night gave way to morning, but Tsuge didn't wake up until closer to noon. Rokkaku explained in detail what it feels like when your assigned human wakes up, even making a joke or two about how jarring it is if you also happen to be sleeping at the same time, but he insisted it was rarely ever a problem. Minato just nodded along, absorbing the information like he was supposed to.

"Nhnmhn … it's still pretty early, eh?" Tsuge mumbled, squinting at his phone. "… huh? Oh, Minato-san? Hello."

Minato waved to him, holding the phone in his hand so the human could see him.

"Minato … he's blind as a bat without his glasses," Rokkaku laughed behind him.

"Rokkaku, come on," Tsuge chuckled, gabbing his glasses from the night stand. "I've been awake for two minutes and you're already gossiping about me?"

"Oh we've been at it for hours," Rokkaku laughed. "Anyway, I got him all set up! What are we having for breakfast?"

"If you find anything other than cereal in here, be my guest," Tsuge shrugged, yawning on his way to the bathroom to quickly wash his face and comb his hair.

Rokkaku sat at the table on the floor, and Minato joined beside him. He watched as the human returned from the bathroom, opening cupboards in the kitchen and getting milk out of the fridge. He poured cereal in one bowl, and topped it with milk. Then poured milk in the other bowl, and spooned cereal into the milk. Then he turned around, eyes focusing on Rokkaku, straying over to one side for a moment before coming back around and looking Minato almost straight in the eyes.

"Minato-san, how do you like your cereal?"

… his cereal?

"I like cereal first and then the milk, so it's thicker. But Masato likes drinking the leftover cereal-flavored milk, so he pours the milk first," Rokkaku explained.

"I, uh- can I try both?"

"Not at the same time, duh?" Rokkaku shook his head.

"Why not?" Tsuge interjected, taking out a fourth bowl. "Comparing side by side is a great idea."

"… Yuuta, can he see me?" Minato whispered, leaning closer to Rokkaku.

"Of course not. Why?"

"… but he acts like he knew what I said? And he was looking right at me earlier?"

"it's not that hard to fill in the blanks sometimes," Rokkaku waved his hand. "As for looking right at you … hey, good question! Masato-"

"Your wing is packed tighter on that side," Tsuge answered, bringing all four cereal bowls to the table. "I figured you were making space for him."

"Huh. Yeah, I was! Didn't even think about that. You're pretty cool, Masato!"

"I just want Minato-san to feel welcome."

"… could you ask him to stop calling me Minato-san then?"

"Masato, would you mind being less formal with him then?"

"Eh- uh, uhm … h-how?" Tsuge nervously blurted out. "I don't think you've ever even mentioned his full name, and I couldn't possibly call a stranger just by- without any honorifics even!!"

"It's Wataya," Rokkaku sighed. "Wataya Minato."

"Ah- ahem, uh … Wataya-san, I mean … Wataya-kun? Is that better?"

"That's worse," Rokkaku answered without having to ask. "He really just prefers Minato … would that be okay?"

"I'll do my best … M-Minato?"

"… thanks," Minato mumbled, picking up his spoon.

"He says thanks," Rokkaku relayed the sentiment, digging into his food as well. "Don't worry too much about it, Masato - he's just like that! We've always figured he's probably a more international soul mix, because honorifics were never his thing."

"Okay … I will keep that in mind. So, uh … Minato, which cereal do you like best?"

He thought for a moment, staring at the bowls on the table before pointing his spoon to the bowl with more milk.

The little cereal loops inside it seemed aimless and lost, floating around hopelessly.

Just like him.

Chapter Text

They went to a convenience store after breakfast: Tsuge and Rokkaku side by side, and Minato trailing behind them. Tsuge didn't talk much, but he responded to most of Yuuta's comments and jokes, even if just to tell him off: it was mostly flat in tone, but Minato quickly picked up that it was meant with affection. Like banter with good rapport between old friends … well, but they were old friends, weren't they?

Thirty two years wasn't that much for an angel … except both he and Yuuta were still so young, so to them … that was quite a bit of time, actually!

… and because of everything that happened, Yuuta had spent that time with Tsuge, but not Minato. Sure, they were friends again now, and they've been doing pretty well at picking up the pieces, but … it just wasn't the same. Or maybe the wounds were still too fresh, and that was why Minato found himself so strangely envious of the friendship Rokkaku shared with his human.

But it wasn't just envy, no. Seeing his best friend walk seamlessly through the streets, waving at dogs on their walks and cracking jokes with- well, more like at his human … it all terrified Minato a lot. Because this was his best friend! This was the Yuuta that he knew better than anyone else … or used to, at least. Back when they both wanted to work among the stars more than anything … and yeah, Yuuta had said he was happy as a guardian now, but …

It felt different actually seeing that in person.

No yearning, no regret, no wistful glances at the sky … just the work he signed up to do. Work that he was committed to, even. Work that he enjoyed … because he wouldn't be all buddy buddy with the human otherwise, right?

So this is what giving up and moving on truly looked like … ?

Minato hated it - because it sorely reminded him that he had, in fact, not moved on at all yet. He'd given up, sure, a long time ago, obviously, but … he was just kinda stuck there. Just like Yuuta seemed stuck with the human. If he changed his mind, if he wanted to go back, if he wanted to give celestial body arrangement another try … could he even do it at this point? Or was it too late? Was that all gone?

Why did it make him want to tear up, Minato wondered. Why did it matter anyway. Why did he look at the bond between the two with such repulsive fear and disgust? Why did it feel so heavy, like shackles tearing him from the sky and pinning him down to this pavement that his feet were just now getting used to? Why did it matter?

He'd already given up anyway. It was done. It was over. He wasn't going back. There was no other try. He'd used them all up already. And he had accepted that.

He just didn't want it rubbed into his face all the time … that was all.

But that was not within his power to choose, and so - just like he had done so many times already - he fluffed his wings, straightened his shoulders, bit his lip and sucked it up. Yuuta's support shouldn't get wasted on these stupid regrets. He wanted his bestie to be proud of him! And who knows … maybe one day, he'll be out here smiling at dogs on their afternoon walks by some human's side too.

"Minato … which snack would you like?"

"I usually get a little treat when we go shopping," Rokkaku explained as they entered the store. "Wanna try some candy?"

"… I can get more food?"

"Sure!"

"But … I don't need it? And it costs money?"

"Not that much." Rokkaku assured him. "And Masato is super frugal most of the time, so we treat ourselves here at least! Maybe once we move out, I'll cut back on the chocolate …"

"If our new rent is so high that I have to strike out your treats from the budget, I think we've chosen an apartment above our means," Tsuge smiled. "Let's not succumb to exorbitant rent, okay?"

"Okay! Anyway, this chocolate is really good, but so is that candy - wanna get both and go halfsies, Minato?"

"… sure."

The chocolate was sweet, and it melted in his mouth - kinda like the cereal they had for breakfast. But the candy was sour, and it left a slightly bitter and prickly aftertaste on his tongue. It was strange … chewing down on something that tasted about the same as his soul felt.

Oh well. It was just the first day. He reminded himself again that he should keep an open mind, or at the very least just grin and bear it. It should get better eventually. It did for Yuuta, so surely it'll get better for him too, right? He should stay focused, he should experience the world, he should take note of everything Yuuta is showing him, and he shouldn't get in the way. Maybe it would help if he started writing his report as they go along? He can always edit it before he turns in the final version after the assignment is done.

~ Day one. Tsuge Masato's sleep schedule is not within norm. I will ask Rokkaku if I can practice checking his vitals tonight. He drools in his sleep. Observations: there are different ways to enjoy breakfast cereal. I like cereal-flavored milk. Walking on pavement seems inefficient but I suppose it is immersive. Tsuge Masato's neighborhood has a lot of dogs being taken on walks in the afternoon. Chocolate gets stuck on my teeth. I don't like sour candy. -

Upon checking Tsuge's vitals that night, Minato determined he was surprisingly healthy for a sedentary male in his thirties. Rokkaku laughed and confirmed that was correct. They took a long walk the next day, and stopped at a bakery. Tsuge bought a pretzel for each of them, and Yuuta took a picture of them holding up the pretzels - he said it was funny to see two pretzels floating in mid air around Masato's head. Minato failed to see the appeal.

Walks were a pretty common occurrence, but not exactly regular either. Tsuge didn't take a walk every day, and when he did, it was at varying times and for varying lengths. But Yuuta said the spontaneity helped his creativity, so … sure, whatever. More immersive pavement was fine.

If not walks, then it was chores at home … and sometimes reading books or watching movies … and sometimes going to different restaurants and coffee shops and other date spots for writing research … and sometimes meeting up with friends … and sometimes going to his publisher's office, or meeting with his editor. That was just about everything Tsuge did - outside of writing or staring at the ceiling and doing nothing, which actually took up most of his time. Yuuta called it part of the creative process. Minato didn't find it particularly creative, but what did he know.

There wasn't really a routine to fall into, but there was a decently limited pool of options to choose from every day, so that Minato soon found his new life more or less predictable from one day to the next. Sometimes he even played a little game of scheduling Tsuge's next week at random, and seeing how close to his actual activities he got.

But all things considered, he just kinda let the days slip by and did his best to stay in the background. He added entries to his report, he amended them as time went on, but what his mind dwelled on the most were definitely the nights in between.

When Tsuge was asleep, Minato sometimes got supplemental acclimation training where Rokkaku took him to different places that Tsuge wouldn't visit, but other humans might. They went to night clubs, and corporate offices, and a couple international vacation destinations. Those nights were pretty alright: Minato wanted to make sure he took in as much as he could, because Yuuta was working so hard to mentor him thoroughly.

But the nights he actually loved the most were the ones when they both took time off, and just had fun together as friends: chasing each other through the sky, playing hide and seek, going back to heaven to chill and talk in one of their clouds … it was nice. Slowly but surely, they were catching up, and Minato almost felt like one day, their friendship would be as if they'd never had a falling out in the first place. Plus, if he takes this guardian thing seriously and completes his training with good enough marks, maybe he could request to work close to Yuuta in the future? They could be assigned to two friends, or siblings, or maybe even twins, like Adachi's nephew and niece? That's be so cool!

It was those hopeful thoughts that carried him through the nights he didn't like: the ones where Yuuta was off on dates with Kaito, basically from the moment Tsuge fell asleep to the moment either he or Adachi's mom woke up. Those nights were the absolute worst: not because Minato had to share his bestie with some other angel, but because he hated being left alone with all his thoughts, a human he still didn't understand and a deep night sky that beckoned to him like an ocean waiting to pull him under.

Unfortunately, there were quite a few of those nights.

Chapter Text

Tsuge woke up with one of his legs tangled in the blanket, and the other feeling slightly chilly. It's been getting colder … autumn was coming to an end … he should go buy a new winter coat, he thought to himself as he kicked the blanket around and got comfy on his pillow again, ready to wake up slowly.

"Morning!"

"Morning …"

"It's just us today," Rokkaku let him know, walking past the bed to close the window that had been left ajar overnight. "Minato had an errand to take care of back up in heaven."

"I see … mhm."

"Wanna sleep some more?"

"No … just don't make me get out of bed," Tsuge mumbled.

"I won't! Want some coffee?"

"That'd be great, thanks."

"I'll make some," Rokkaku headed over to the kitchen to boil some water. "So … how are we doing? What do you think of Minato?"

"Uh … hmm … well, I'm- aaah … surprised, I guess," Tsuge slowly pieced together between yawns. "He's not how I imagined him to be."

"Really? What did you imagine?"

"From how you talked about him, I figured he'd be a lot like you."

"… isn't he?"

"No? Not at all? He's infinitely more reserved."

"Oh, that's just the nerves," Rokkaku laughed. "He's still adjusting … you know, changing careers and all that, plus your weird little human world - cut my bestie some slack, okay?"

"He can get a whole uncut loaf of slack for all I care," Tsuge shrugged, pulling the blanket up to his chin. "I don't mind … you guys do what you guys have to do, it's fine by me. I barely notice he's even here anyway. I thought he would text more, at least …"

"Yeah, me too … but I guess he's taking the observer role very seriously and just trying to pick up on as many things as he can. I'm sure he'll be more talkative with you too eventually."

"No rush … you're already quite a lot to keep up with," Tsuge chuckled.

"Oh just wait, we'll get ourselves both muted from the group chat one day! I'll teach him how to spam stickers!"

"Should I be worried about what you're teaching him in general?"

"… I hope not," Rokkaku sighed, bringing Tsuge a cup of instant coffee and sitting on the end of the bed by his feet. "Like, I am actually trying pretty hard here, you know?"

"I know. I was joking," Tsuge slowly sat up to enjoy his coffee. "I know this means a lot to you. You're a great friend, Rokkaku."

"I'm just trying to make up for not supporting him better before …" Rokkaku awkwardly shrugged, pulling his knees to his chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tsuge asked, letting the silence linger as he sipped his coffee.

He didn't actually know that much about Minato. He knew Rokkaku didn't initially want to be a guardian angel, and that he changed careers at the last minute, and that things had been strained with his best friend who was still pursuing celestial body arrangement ever since. Rokkaku never explicitly specified, but through the years, Tsuge's understanding of 'strained' in that context went from 'having an argument' to 'actually not even talking' - which he always thought was sad, because Rokkaku clearly still cared a lot about this guy.

So imagine his surprise when the mysterious Minato finally appeared as Adachi's temporary guardian angel while they waited for Kurosawa.

Tsuge had never seen Rokkaku that distressed before, so he knew the only right thing to do was to insist on going to bed early and giving the two the opportunity to talk - no matter how much Rokkaku had tried to convince him that there was no point going after Minato and that he definitely wouldn't want to talk to him. Evidently, Rokkaku was wrong and they did talk … and things seemed to have gotten better since. They were friends again, at least.

But Rokkaku still never went into the details of why they fell out in the first place … and most of the time, Tsuge knew better than to ask.

"… I ran away, you know …" Rokkaku quietly mumbled, sitting like a lost puppy by Tsuge's feet.

"From what you wanted to do before?"

"Y-Yeah, but … mostly from Minato. 'Cause I knew he'd convince me to stay … so I ran away, like a coward. I totally abandoned him. It was my fault."

"Rokkaku …"

"Just- Just so you know," Rokkaku forced himself to smile. "Just so you won't look at him and think he's the bad guy."

"I don't think that about either of you," Tsuge shrugged. "Friendships are complicated … and so is pursuing your dreams. I would know!"

"Yeah …"

"I'm just glad you guys have patched things up, that's all. And hey, you even ended up on the same page, huh? Isn't that great?"

"Yeah … it's pretty cool. I hope we can work together in the future maybe!"

"I'll make sure to either die or get a girlfriend by the time he's done with training," Tsuge saluted their future plans.

"Oh, no rush! That won't be within your lifetime anyway," Rokkaku reassured him.

"Alright, then we're all good. Want some breakfast?"

"Can we have eggs today?"

"Sure … I'll make some."

As they ate breakfast, Tsuge checked the emails on his phone, and added more book signing dates to the calendar for each email from his publisher. He caught up on the arts and crafts chatter Kurosawa and Kaito had shared in the group chat in the morning, and he took the time to reply to Shima about when they could have a book event at the coffee shop. With his slate clean for the rest of the day, his eyes wandered over to Minato's name in the contact list, and he found himself absentmindedly scrolling through those messages too - not that there was much to scroll through in the first place.

The initial greeting, the occasional yes/no answers to Tsuge's questions, a lot of one-line thanks for food.

Tsuge didn't know what to make of this guy … well, not that it was any of his business anyway. But at the same time, maybe it was? They lived together, at least. And Minato was Rokkaku's best friend. He wasn't sure what exactly he was expecting, but … it wasn't this. Obviously he didn't think they'd instantly become friends either, just … who knows, maybe he thought Minato would be more present somehow.

Then again, knowing what Rokkaku had told him about Minato's past, this couldn't have been easy for him. New career, starting all over again … it was hard to find yourself late in life. Tsuge would know! Ah, well, but it wasn't late in life for Minato, was it? He was immortal after all.

"I guess it's just best if I don't say anything …" he sighed to himself, washing up their plates after breakfast.

"About what?"

"… Minato."

"Would you want to say something?" Rokkaku asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know," Tsuge shrugged. "I want to be a good host, I guess?"

"Just keep buying him food," Rokkaku chuckled. "You really are such a good guy ... I'm so proud!"

"… thank you. I'm glad I can make you proud."

"You always have!"

"Always?" Tsuge gave him a doubtful glance.

"… minus some of the times when we've walked past happy couples on our way home from drinks with Adachi," Rokkaku innocently smiled. "But the past is the past, don't worry about it!"

"Well … in that regard," Tsuge bit his lip, clearing his throat. "I should really update my closet before winter. Would you care for some shopping today?"

"Wooo! I'm in! Let's style you up, Masato!"

"I'm allowing you some moderate input," Tsuge rolled his eyes, knowing better than to let Rokkaku choose his outfits.

But if they find something nice that's perhaps not Tsuge's usual style, and Rokkaku says it looks good on him … sure, why not? There were a couple casual writers' events coming up at the end of the year, he could spruce himself up a bit and … who knows?

Probably nothing will come of it, hah … as usual.

But that's alright, Tsuge thought, staring at his figure in a sleek black coat in the mirror. He'd usually go for something beige or brown … but Rokkaku said it made a statement, whatever that meant … and Tsuge didn't dislike how it looked, so he decided to give it a try. He also got new gloves, a couple new sweaters, a hoodie, new pair of jeans … right, winter socks too … and what else?

"I think we have everything, don't we?" Rokkaku asked, helping Tsuge carry some of the shopping bags.

"… didn't I lose my scarf just before spring?"

"Right! Yeah, you did," Rokkaku nodded, laughing. "That time you and Kurosawa got drunk, and you took his scarf by accident."

"Don't bring that up!" Tsuge yelped, his face turning a slightly darker shade of pink. "Geez … I was so embarrassed! My best friend's husband's scarf, what was I thinking?!"

"You were drunk," Rokkaku pointed out again, much to his amusement. "And Adachi thought it was cute!"

"Yeah, lucky me … good thing it wasn't Adachi's scarf," Tsuge smiled.

"Oh you'd be dead," Rokkaku nodded along with his best attempt at a serious expression. "After all, it's such an intimate item of clothing, and-"

"It's a scarf, not his underwear," Tsuge hissed under his breath.

"Masato, if you start coming home drunk with other married men's underwear, I will need to have a serious talk with you!"

"… why do I even bother saying anything," Tsuge sighed, his face going from pink to red. "Wait here," he handed Rokkaku the rest of the shopping bags as they stopped in front of a small knitwear boutique. "I'll be right back, I'll just grab a scarf."

"Make sure it matches the coat! Or your eyes! Or both!"

"Rokkaku!"

"What? I suggest light blue!"

"You are insufferable."

"Love you too, Masato!"

Absolutely insufferable, Tsuge thought as he stood in front of yet another mirror with a light blue scarf loosely tied around his neck and draped back over his shoulder. It did look quite good … damn Rokkaku and his chaotic yet surprisingly fashionable brain. Well, but at least that made it easy, he thought as he took the scarf off and folded it over in his hands to take to the register. But on his way over, another scarf caught his eye: dark red, kinda maroon, maybe even leaning towards purple. Rokkaku would probably say that it wouldn't stand out with his dark hair.

… but Minato was a blonde, wasn't he?

In the spur of the moment, Tsuge ended up buying two scarfs.

Chapter Text

Minato returned to Tsuge's apartment later than he thought he would. It must have been a slow day for flying, or maybe his wings were sore for some reason … he definitely didn't waste any time in heaven watching the stars or anything like that! Plus Yuuta had a date tonight anyway, so … what did it matter if he came back in the middle of the night, he thought to himself as he stood in Tsuge's kitchen, taking in the sight of his earthly prison once more.

The dishes were done, the laundry sat ready to be taken out for washing tomorrow, and Tsuge was sound asleep in his bed - he didn't even forget to plug his phone into the charger this time. Everything was as it should be, there was nothing mundane for Minato to do. Great … he'll just sit on the couch, add to his journal and watch the stars again.

Right, but speaking of phones, he should probably charge his too. The battery was dead, and probably had been for at least a few days - not that Minato would notice. There wasn't much reason for him to use this thing. It was just another tangible reminder of where he was … just another rope tying him to the human world.

He could almost feel his soul dim as the phone screen lit up.

It was a familiar song and dance by now: the flash of the charging icon, the loading circle, the password screen, the stock wallpaper flashing as the icons loaded, and then the million group chat notifications cascading in. Minato had heard there was some kind of mute function, but didn't want to be impolite by asking where he could find it. Still, geez … why did they talk so much, why did everyone talk so much, what was so fun about- oh …

There was a single message from Tsuge too: not in the group chat, just … directly for him.

Those weren't that common. In fact, Tsuge had never messaged him like this before. Sure, if they were mid conversation and he needed a response from Minato, like what food to order or what flavor cereal to buy, they talked about that. But never just out of the blue like this.

Dear Minato. Rokkaku and I went shopping for some winter clothes today. It has been getting colder lately. I am sure your feathers do well at keeping you warm, so this is more or less symbolic, but alas. I think I let Rokkaku get into my head about what colors go together and so on. I saw that red scarf on the table and thought it would suit you. I know you don't need a scarf, but I think it's just a simple way to welcome the winter. And I would like you to feel welcome. Please enjoy it - as a gift from me.

… what?

Minato's eyes landed on the table, where a brand new scarf lay folded together, with the tag still on. He hadn't paid attention to it before, he just thought it was something Tsuge had bought. But it was actually a gift for him?

… why? That was stupid. If Tsuge knew Minato didn't need this, then … what was the point? Did Yuuta also get a scarf? Was that a thing? Maybe … well, but in that case … he supposed it was nice that he also got one.

He gently ripped the tag off, lifting the dense woven fabric up in his arms and letting it slowly slip past his fingers. It was kinda like wings: soft and warm. And his wings were very small to begin with: very agile and perfect for aerial work, but not that great for regulating temperature in the human world. Maybe it would be practical to use a scarf after all … he could slack a little more that way, if nothing else.

Shrugging it off, he wrapped the scarf around his neck to get some practice in, then sat down on the couch to add another entry to his report.

- Day one hundred and one. My one hundred day report was assessed as adequate today. The human world is getting colder. Tsuge Masato's vitals seem to slow down more during the winter. He rests in a peaceful, deep sleep. I have been gifted a second human item today. It is a long red scarf. It is very warm. I like it. -

Rokkaku said it looked good on him when he returned in the morning, even if Minato didn't care about that.

But he did notice in the coming days that his bestie didn't have a scarf of his own: only he and Tsuge did.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he eventually messaged Tsuge to ask if that was true.

"Yes. I didn't get one for him because he was being a pain in the butt that day. And regardless … it's not nice if all you get are scraps of our life, is it? I thought it would be good to give you something with more purpose, not just because Rokkaku also has the same thing."

"I see." "Thanks."

Tsuge Masato really was a nice guy, Minato thought as he sat on a train beside him, on their way back from a meeting with his editor. The human was rambling about new book ideas … Yuuta was smiling, either nodding along or giving harsh criticism … they seemed to be having fun. Seriously, what a nice guy.

Sure, he was not in the best shape. And his sleep schedule was atrocious. And the amount of books crammed into his tiny apartment was somewhat questionable. And his diet could use improvement. And he got way too nervous around other humans, even those he'd been working with for a long time. Anyone other than Adachi - and maybe Kurosawa, depending on the amount of beers consumed - seemed to have Tsuge at least a little bit on guard around them, as far as Minato could tell.

But like … that was all fine, wasn't it? Humans weren't perfect. And as far as all the critical checklists went, from malicious intent to substance abuse to fiscal irresponsibility, Tsuge didn't raise any alarming concerns. He had a job - not that Minato fully understood this writing thing, but whatever - and it paid well. He lived well below his means. He had few friends, but they were good and close ones. He was open to new experiences, even if in small doses and only occasionally. He wasn't useless in the kitchen, although nothing Minato had been served at his apartment came anywhere close to what they ate at restaurants, or what Kurosawa cooked when they were invited over for dinner. But the simple things Tsuge made for himself were still tasty and decently nutritious! He was interested in a wide variety of topics, even if mostly due to his writing research, and he could hold a conversation well - assuming he didn't have his guard up, which did limit the full potential of his conversational skills to just the select few other humans, but so what? The baseline was there at least.

And he wasn't horrendously bad looking or anything. On a good day, if he used some moisturizer the night before and if he listened to Rokkaku's fashion advice … he looked pretty alright. Presentable would probably be the right word.

And yet.

Other humans had no interest in dating him. Absolutely zero. None.

Such a passably decent guy, and still - nothing.

Evidently, Minato had not yet acclimated to the humans' dating preferences, because this just didn't make sense to him. He understood why there wasn't a line at the door or anything like that, sure, but in 32 years, no one had shown an interest in Tsuge? Not one person? Why? Whenever he asked Yuuta about it, he just shrugged and said it's all personal preferences and stuff, things just are like that … but why?

He came back to those thoughts a lot. Wrote them all down in his report, added to and elaborated upon multiple times. One day, it would make sense. One day, he would understand. He just had to keep at it … that was all.

The nights had gotten colder. Every now and then, there was even snow. As the sunrises came later and later, Yuuta's dates had gotten longer and longer. On many nights and early mornings, Minato sat alone on the couch in Tsuge's apartment, listening to the human snore. The heating was off, but … the soft red scarf kept him warm. Sometimes he even borrowed the blanket that was on the couch too.

It was comfortable - that was all he could say about his nights in the human world. Comfortable, but oh so boring. Sure, he was free to explore around alone, and Yuuta did still spend a lot of time with him, but either way … there was a lot of time for Minato to sit around and get bored.

It was on one of those boring nights that he first picked up a book: one that Tsuge had left by his laptop before going to sleep. It didn't have Tsuge's name on it, so it wasn't one of his - was he reading it as a hobby then? It didn't seem like it, Minato thought as he flipped the pages to absorb all the information: everything was covered in highlighter marks, and there were a bunch of pencil notes in the margins. So this was probably work, huh? Well alright. It was a pretty interesting story. Maybe he could check out all the others too? It would keep him busy for a couple nights at least.

And maybe he could also try that thing that Yuuta sometimes did, when he read a book all slow and human-like. Really thinking about it, not just saving it in his mind. That would significantly extend the run time of this newfound entertainment, so it was probably worth a shot … but Minato didn't manage to stick with it for long. He started on the shelf closest to Tsuge's workspace, moving from the bottom up, and after the first two rows, everything just seemed the same to him. The stories, the characters, even the highlights and Tsuge's handwritten notes. They were all of this or that type … reaching this or that conclusion … in these or those words. Big whoop. So what?

The top shelf were all dating advice books, which was an interesting break at least. And he even found an old university textbook or two in there. But for the most part, even when he moved to other shelves, it was just more of the same romance, and more of the same notes. They all just blended together in Minato's mind, filed away as nothing of note …

… until he found himself reading a story about two angels that captivated him so much, he didn't even notice the empty margins and complete lack of highlighter.

Chapter Text

Maybe it was because Minato didn't care that much about humans. Maybe it was because he missed hanging out with other angels in heaven. Or maybe he just wasn't as okay with being single as he thought he was.

Either way, this intense love story between two angels had him glued to each page, turning slowly, paragraph to paragraph, and for the first time since he'd started reading books, he … felt something?

He felt so much.

Who even wrote this, and what were they doing, and why, like, this was just ridiculously sappy and romantic, why was Kazuki so passionate and so gentle and so caring, and why was Ryu so confident and funny but so easily flustered- hey …

Hey, that sounded a lot like Yuuta, actually …

Minato pulled away from the book, flipping it around and only now paying attention to the cover: Moments at Midnight … by Tsuge Masato.

Oh. Ryu and Kazuki were just Yuuta and Kaito, weren't they?

… oh.

Suddenly, he almost felt like he'd read something he was not supposed to know about. Surely this was just inspired by them, right? Like, uh, based on their relationship or something? And definitely not an accurate retelling of their dates, hopefully. Because otherwise … Minato might have learned more about his bestie's dating life than he wanted to know! Geez …

Still … that was one of Tsuge's books, huh? Minato looked at the shelf he'd taken it from, and yeah, all of these had his name on the spine. Some on the shelf below too. Why would he put his own books on the bottom shelves? Wasn't he proud of them? Well, but space was at a premium in this apartment: maybe all the other books with notes in them were more important to have on hand than these. Either way, it was … uh … it was a good book, yeah. Sure, now that he'd put the pieces together, reading it felt like an extreme invasion of his bestie's privacy, buuuut … he was already almost finished! And he really wanted to know how it ended, so … he read on until the final chapter, finding himself with the strangest emotions as he finally turned the last page.

He felt happy for the characters, but sad to let them go. Content to have been able to read such a wonderful love story, but … full of yearning to actually experience it on his own.

Which was so weird, because … he wasn't a particularly romantic angel or anything. Yeah, relationships were cool, he liked the basics of going out with someone, but it wasn't a priority or anything. Definitely not something he sat around daydreaming about. But something in Tsuge's writing was just … so raw and touching, Minato found himself aimlessly staring at the wall and wondering what it would be like if he could hide someone in his wings right now, if he could cup their chin and nudge their face up, if their eyes met, if they wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss them, if they would actually kiss … oh.

He understood now why Tsuge was as successful as he was. This was an amazing book.

And in the process of reading it, Minato had also come to understand some other things.

It almost felt like a special perspective through the inner workings of Tsuge's mind: being able to experience first hand how he saw the angels, what he thought of their feelings, how he supported them, what Yuuta meant to him, how much Tsuge cared about his angel … Minato saw it all. Both through what he presumed was Tsuge's parallel in the story, but also indirectly just through the fact that this book existed at all. How deeply Yuuta must have trusted Tsuge to share all these stories with him, how openly he discussed his relationship with the human, how much they almost seemed like … equals of some kind.

Minato could almost picture it somehow: the two sitting on the couch, each with their own bowl of breakfast cereal, talking for hours about the date Yuuta had just come back from.

The circumstances behind this book - whether he had imagined them accurately or not - didn't feel like a work assignment at all. They felt like friendship, and even more than that … they felt like a labor of love from someone who found all these characters and their feelings so important, he deemed them worthy of writing such a beautiful book about.

"Damn it," Minato whispered under his breath, rubbing the end of the scarf under his eyes to wipe away the tears.

He felt like he understood Tsuge a lot more now. But at the same time, he also felt like he understood the humans' prevailing lack of interest in him even less, because … come on. There was clearly something really cool about a guy who could write like this!

Tsuge's other books weren't about angels. Not that Minato even noticed as he started reading through them one by one, each with more care than the last. They were all so full of feeling, so captivating, so insightful in how all the character's worries were laid bare to the reader, to the point that Minato found himself hoping for couples to end up together, and crying whenever they still didn't, but it only made him want to read more, because as varied as these stories were, if there was one common thread he'd found among all of them, it was that they all had wonderful happy endings.

They were the kind of grandiose endings full to the brim with love … the kind of endings that left Minato feeling completely empty after reading them … the kind of endings he'd found himself yearning for on the first page of each new book already, and even then, he did not mind the meandering dozens-of-chapters-long walk it took to get there.

If anything, he wished the books were longer, or that Tsuge had written more of them, because before he even realized it … he had already read all of them.

But that was fine too. He just went back to Moments at Midnight, and started reading all of Tsuge's books for the second time. What was meant to be just a way to cure boredom had now become something he looked forward to, and often couldn't pull away from.

… maybe he should tell Tsuge that he is a fan.

But how?

He had drafted that message on his phone like a hundred times by now, and never sent it. Maybe he should ask Yuuta for advice … when was he getting back tonight anyway? The sun was already crawling up on the horizon, and … Minato felt kinda tired.

Chapter Text

Tsuge woke up to a cozy winter morning. Rubbing his eyes, he picked up his glasses and looked around the room, not seeing Rokkaku anywhere. He was probably saying goodbye to Kaito and would be here any minute now - as had often been the case lately.

"Morning, Minato," he yawned, sitting up and stretching his arms.

Minato would usually wave his phone, a cup or a spoon around to acknowledge Tsuge in the morning. Every now and then, it was just the end of his red scarf swinging back and forth, with the rest of it floating in mid air from Tsuge's perspective. But today, Minato's scarf was sitting on the kitchen table, and there was no response.

Were they both out somewhere? Well, that was unusual … but surely Rokkaku would explain once he gets back. Until then, coffee for one it is!

He put on the first sweatpants and sweater he could find, still feeling sleepy as he turned on the coffee machine. There was half a pack of chocolate chip cookies left in the cupboard, so he took them out and put them on the table. "He was reading it again, huh?" He mused, only now seeing Moments at Midnight open on the last chapter. "Geez, Rokkaku, how many times do I have to tell you to at least-"

Huh?

"… put it back?" Tsuge mumbled, his brow furrowing as he tried to pull the book toward him, and it wouldn't move.

He picked up the end of the scarf that was lying on the table, gently draping it over the book … and it didn't fall onto the pages. Instead, it hovered about a head's width above them.

So Minato was here after all? And asleep?? And- eh? Since when was Minato reading his books?!

Maybe Rokkaku wanted to show him the story, Tsuge thought as he quietly stepped back, taking his finished coffee and sitting down with it on the other side of the table. Still … was it so boring that Minato fell asleep right before the end? Ugh … well, it's not like he had to like it or anything. It just could have been nice if he did. They could talk about it, maybe. He could make Minato feel more included.

As he slowly sipped his coffee, the scarf across from him began to stir, eventually rising up.

"Morning, Minato," he greeted him again.

The scarf swayed slowly before suddenly jumping up, knocking back the chair. In almost the same moment, Tsuge felt a hand pressing against his cup, and another on his forehead.

He felt what was presumably a sigh of relief blow over his hair before the scarf moved back, fixing the chair and picking up the phone that was next to the book.

"You promised Rokkaku you'd look after me, didn't you?" Tsuge already arrived at the obvious conclusion, taking his own phone out of his pocket.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I only just woke up, really - you were right on time," Tsuge reassured him. "And I didn't do anything dangerous. Are my vitals okay?"

"Coffee a bit too hot. Please be careful."

"I will. Thank you for looking out for me, Minato."

"It's my job." "You're welcome."

"So, I take it Rokkaku's showing off again, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"The book," Tsuge pointed at it. "I hope it wasn't too boring or anything … I told him he's way too impressed with it, but oh well … he's biased for good reason, I don't wanna be too hard on him."

"Ah." "Yeah."

Minato was still typing. Probably some defense of Rokkaku's rose colored glasses, Tsuge figured as he went back to his coffee, leaving their chat open.

A few sips later, a new message rolled in and took up the entire screen.

"Yuuta didn't ask me to read it. He doesn't even know I did. I got bored so I started reading stuff a while ago. I read all the books you have. I'm sorry if I wasn't supposed to. I thought they were kinda lame - the ones next to your desk on either side, I mean. But then I found the ones you wrote. Moments at Midnight was the first. I think that was when I really started reading the way humans read things. I took a lot of time, and I had lots of feelings, and I cared so much about the characters by the end. I read it almost every night, it's my favorite. But I also read all your other books. They're amazing. I'm a big fan. Thank you."

Tsuge wondered if 'floored' or 'flabbergasted' would be a better description of what he was feeling as he read that. What? Since when!? This was more than Minato had ever spoken to him in a single week before. He was a fan?? Why didn't he- well, he said something now, but still! How long had this been going on? Tsuge had spent this whole time maintaining a courteous distance between them, he thought that was what Minato wanted, but apparently Minato had already read all of his books in the mean time!? They were all public, obviously, but still … it felt strangely personal to learn that Minato had not only been learning about the space around Tsuge, but the space within his fictional worlds as well.

He didn't expect that.

"… huh. W-Well, I mean … thank you, I am honored," he bowed his head. "I'm glad you like my work! I didn't know you were bored, I'm really sorry, would you want- uh, I think we can put games on your phone, would you like that?"

"Did you write any other books?"

"… no. Just the ones over there," Tsuge gestured at his published titles.

"Oh. Ok."

"But if you like books, we could get some from the library?"

"I think I only like your books."

"Compared to those?" Tsuge pointed at the other shelves.

"Yeah."

"Oh most of that is just writing research," Tsuge chuckled. "I usually keep the ones I really don't like, kind of as a challenge to write something better."

"You keep shitty books on purpose?"

"I wouldn't say they're shitty," Tsuge clarified. "Just that I personally don't like them … or sometimes, they're poorly written in some regard, or they tackle certain topics this or that way, but I feel they should be addressed in a different way … and so on."

"Gotcha. So there's more books like yours?"

"A ton, unfortunately," Tsuge sighed.

"Is it okay if we go to the library then? I've never been."

"Rokkaku has been with me my whole life, and he hasn't taken you to a library yet? I am quite frankly disappointed," Tsuge laughed softly, finishing his coffee. "I thought I influenced him more than that. Of course we can go. Want a cookie before that?"

"Yes please!"

"Here, I'll take two - you can have the rest."

They finished breakfast together, and Tsuge got ready to go out: complete with his new coat and scarf.

"You should take your scarf," he instructed Minato. "So I don't lose you!"

"… I was gonna," Minato mumbled back, knowing he couldn't be heard.

But it was true - he didn't want to go outside without the scarf anyway. It was warm, and besides … it made him feel safe when everything else about the human world was scary and overwhelming.

He'd been thinking lately that maybe he just doesn't like it because it's all too much right now.

Maybe once he's on a proper assignment, and he has his own human to focus on … it'll be easier.

Like today, as they took a train to the library. It was his first time going somewhere with just Tsuge, and it wasn't too bad. Minato stood close to him, even gently holding onto the cuff of his sleeves as they walked through rows and rows of books, and it was okay.

He could live with that … probably.

"Okay, so, I think if you liked my work, you'll like this author too: they are so incredibly good with pining, it makes me want to pull my hair out when it's so clearly mutual but the characters don't realize, and then when they do- it's great, really. Oh, and them, I binged all the books in their first series in one night, I'd say a couple of mine were really inspired by their work, just in terms of characters growing through their feelings because we don't always fall in love at the best time. And also … tch, what's his pen name again … ah, here, this guy. He's also with my publisher, really nice, he does mostly established relationship stories, I think? At least he used to, I haven't been keeping up lately, but this one and that one are really good. Different stage of the relationship than I usually write, but I like to think we have a similar way of writing about people's feelings. Either way, I really like his work."

The stack of books in Tsuge's arms grew taller and taller - as did Minato's admiration for him.

This, too, was a whole new world he hadn't even thought about before.

"Minato!!!!"

"Yuuta? You're back home?"

"Yes I'm back, BUT WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"Oh, we went to the library. Sorry, I forgot to tell you."

"Holy shit, I almost collapsed."

"Sorry! I'm super sorry!"

"I come back and the apartment is empty, do you have any idea … ah, okay, whoa, I gotta sit down, holy shit … I got the scare of the millennium, don't do that to me!"

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again!"

"Yeah … fuck, man, you gotta- I mean, I know I asked you to help, but still- you gotta let me know this stuff, alright?"

"Alright … did I fuck up the assignment?"

"Well, you're with him, so … you're fine, I think? Sorry he dragged you out, couldn't he wait until I got back? Should I come over there?"

"Ah, uhm … actually, we went here for me."

"What?"

"I said I've been reading books when I'm alone at night … so he said he can get me some more."

"Oh, you've read Masato's books? Why didn't you tell me!? Did you read ours yet???"

"Mhm. That one's my favorite!"

"Mine too! It's so perfect, he made Kaito's character just like him, it's amazing."

"Was that all based on real events?"

"… m-most of it, ehehe …"

"Yuuta, I know way more about your dating life now than I ever wanted to."

"Shut up!"

"Also, I kinda knew it 'cause of how you talk about him, plus he seems like the type anyway, but I'm glad Kaito's taking such good care of you … it's made me almost kinda … wistful, I guess. Maybe I miss going out with someone …"

"Well, kick ass in training and maybe you'll impress someone! And in the mean time, I'm sure Masato will find enough material to keep you busy."

"Yup, you're right on that one …"

"How many books is he carrying around right now?"

"Seven- er, eight so far."

"Oh boy … help him carry all that back, alright?"

"Yeah, I will. You're not coming here then?"

"Nah … you seem to be doing just fine on your own."

It felt equal parts daunting and relieving to hear that. It kept bouncing around in Minato's mind long after their conversation was over, and while it still stank of giving up … he couldn't quite deny that he really was fine on his own by Tsuge's side.

"Thanks for the books," he messaged him on the way home. "btw, can I call you Masato like Yuuta does?"

"I assumed you already did? Since Rokkaku said you don't like formalities …"

"Yeah. But I wanted to be respectful."

"That's very nice of you. Yes, Masato is fine."

"Thanks, again."

The day had barely started, and already … both of them had gotten more out of it than they thought they would.

Chapter Text

- Day one hundred and forty two. It is Monday today. It is snowing outside. Yuuta-senpai has entrusted me with Masato again. We will be going to the library as usual. It is also my first time cooking eggs for breakfast. -

By the time Tsuge woke up, Minato had gotten the eggs well over soft boiled and firmly into hard boiled territory, but oh well. He still said they were good!

"It'll probably be crowded on the train today," Tsuge sighed as he got dressed to go outside. "Even at this hour … it's just the worst today - cold, and then this half rain half snow on top, eww."

"We don't have to go."

"I've been cooped up all weekend," he smiled. "And you promised Rokkaku I'll get some exercise, didn't you?"

"True."

"It should be fine. You can transform into a dove, right?"

"Yeah. Never used it down here before, but I did well in training. Should I?"

"Probably for the best, so you don't get squished on the train," Tsuge nodded as they headed out the door. "You know, I forget sometimes … that for people with regular office jobs, it's just always like this. Adachi used to have Kurosawa in his briefcase, you know? Tucked in with the pens and the laptop, haha. The trains are absolutely full during his commute hours. Meanwhile Rokkaku and I just kinda meander about whenever. I can't remember the last time he used his dove form for practical purposes and not just a prank!"

Minato wanted to ask if Masato liked his job. If the odd hours - or no actual hours at all - made him happy. If it was more convenient that way. And so many other things.

But it was cold outside. Masato's hands were tucked into gloves, and then into his pockets together with his phone. It just wasn't feasible for him to constantly look at messages when they were walking outside anymore … and it made Minato feel isolated for the first time in a while.

He wished all of this training could hurry up. He wished he could experience the human world properly, with a human that's his … the way it's supposed to be.

That would feel better, right?

When they got to the station, Minato transformed into a dove - and then immediately fell to the ground because he forgot to put away the scarf first, and got his little wings all tangled. Luckily, Tsuge was there: attentive as ever, grabbing the scarf and Minato in the middle of it.

"Hey, careful …"

"… I'm sorry," Minato mumbled, looking up at Tsuge from a dove's perspective for the first time.

"I guess you got tangled, huh- ah, the train's about to leave. Here, I'll just carry you."

He spent the train ride wrapped in the scarf and pressed firmly against Tsuge's chest. The train really was a lot more full than usual - Minato reminded himself that he'd have to ask Yuuta if there was a pattern to that. But for now, he just sat still, looking at the other humans and angels packed tight around them.

"Wow, yours must really like you, huh?"

He looked around, spotting a large dove on a shoulder next to Masato. "H-huh … uh?"

"All soft and cozy down there, meanwhile I'm up here struggling to balance! Taki, I wish you could see this - that guy has his angel in a scarf! And he's nicely holding him too!"

"What? Stop gossiping … I'm not putting you in a scarf, what are you on about?"

Oh. They thought Masato was his?

"He's just nice like that," Minato cleared his throat. "He bought this scarf for me!"

"Damn, I'm jealous. You guys late today too? I don't remember seeing you on our commute before."

"We're just going to the library."

"Ah, is it his day off?"

"Yeah … pretty much."

"That's nice! Guess I won't be seeing you again soon then. Have fun!"

"Thanks … you too."

Was that what a work conversation looked like for a guardian? It wasn't terrible per se … just weird. He should put this in his report journal too. And- oh … right, he didn't tell them Masato wasn't his.

He only realized it after the angel and their human had already gotten off, but maybe it didn't matter. And hey, Masato was kinda his when Yuuta lent him out for training, right? So he didn't lie or anything. Feeling content with himself, he leaned his head against Masato's chest with a soft sigh as their stop showed up on the screen.

"You're my human today …" he whispered to himself as Tsuge carried him off the train.

Yeah, that … that wasn't bad. He could live with that.

They dwindled at the library for a while, returning some books and checking out as many new ones as would fit in Tsuge's backpack. The weather didn't get much better, but according to an app on Tsuge's phone, the train crowds did - so at least they should have a seamless way back home. And then they can make some tea, and read books together, and if Yuta's already back from visiting Kaito, they could play cards too!

This is a notice to all passengers: this line will be stopping at the next station. We cannot proceed with our journey due to a switchbox malfunction on the line. Please ask the station staff about alternative connections to get to your destination. We sincerely apologize and thank you for your understanding. Your safety is always our number one priority.

"Maybe we did pick the wrong day to go outside after all," Tsuge sighed, reaching for his umbrella as they got off the train. "You're still here, Minato?"

Minato walked slightly behind him, nodding and simultaneously flapping the end of his scarf up and down.

"Good. You know, from here … it's really just a bit up the street and across the park to get home. Probably faster than trying to find a bus, since we're just one station away. Is it okay with you if we walk?"

More flapping of the scarf before Minato tied it up nice and tight, and they headed out into the snow.

It wasn't exactly a blizzard - Minato would know - but it wasn't exactly easy to walk through either. Well, at least he's not up there in some atmosphere design office making this sloppy nonsense happen. Eww, it was cold and sloshy and wet … just disgusting, really. At least he's avoiding that by becoming a guardian instead.

He was beginning to find more positives like that lately. Or was he just convincing himself? Well, it's not like he had any other option, so … either way, it better be convincing.

About halfway through the park area, he realized where they were - they used to take walks down past the other side and back up to the apartment, he'd just never seen it from this side before. But that's good, they were close, just a little bit more and-

"Hey, what's that?" Tsuge stopped in his tracks, pointing his umbrella to the side.

Minato followed his gaze, seeing a mound of snow rolling around behind a bench?! Ah, no, it was just an umbrella swinging in a circle from the wind, caked with snow on top. And beneath it … a soggy grocery box of udon packets?

"Oh I hope they didn't- oh … oh no," Tsuge crouched down at the box, instinctively moving his umbrella over to cover it.

Minato stepped closer, seeing puddles of snow and rain in the box, and in the very corner … a baby cat?

"It's still warm," Tsuge reached out to touch it, causing the cat to shiver and squeak. "Ahh, what do I- Minato, can you take this?"

Minato nodded, holding onto Tsuge's backpack and watching as Tsuge took off his coat to gently scoop up the baby cat and wrap it inside.

"Let's get home, fast."

He barely had time to grab Tsuge's umbrella. He'd never seen Tsuge run so fast … and in the snowy rain … in the cold … and without his coat.

"Yuuta, are you home?"

"Yeah, just got here! You guys stuck on the train?"

"No, we're running home with a baby cat! Please help!"

"…. you're WHAT?"

Despite the surprise, he awaited them at the door with a dry blanket, and water boiling in the kettle. Not knowing what to do, Minato just stepped back, leaving the umbrella in the bathroom and the backpack by Tsuge's desk.

"Masato! Where did you get a cat!? Get it dry … gently, careful …"

"We were going through the- cause the line stopped- the park, and- I saw an umbrella and a box, I just- I thought surely not- I had to check and- there it was!"

"This thing is tiny …"

"Someone just abandoned it! What's wrong with people?! Rokkaku, is it okay? Will it be okay?"

"How am I supposed to know? I'm trying to reach a friend of a friend in the fauna department to get some tips, give me a moment …"

"Okay … here, kitty kitty kitty … it's okay … Minato, uh- I have a heating pad in the bathroom, could you fill it with the hot water?"

"And wrap it in a towel, we don't wanna burn it … …. … oh, cool, okay- Masato, let me hold it … okay, yeah … mhm that's within perimeters, just … … … yeah, just like that, there's a little squeak noise when it breathes … … … oh okay, thanks a bunch! I owe you one!"

"What did they say?"

"She's not dying … but she'll need to see a vet because she probably has a cold," Rokkaku relayed the information.

"Oh … oh that's good," Tsuge finally found the time to breathe. "She's a girl cat?"

"Yup!"

"That's cute … oh, thanks for the heater, Minato … nice and warm, let's put her on this. Can you guys watch her? I will go find some vet clinics I can call."

"I don't understand," Minato quietly mumbled, making sure the heating pad stayed at a steady temperature as Rokkaku attempted to feed the baby cat some milk. "Someone abandoned her?"

"Yeah, what a piece of shit … couldn't they have taken her to a shelter at least? Ugh … some humans."

"I hope I never work with a human like that."

"Me neither. Guidelines or not, I would- saying this as your friend, not your mentor- I would tear them a second butt."

"How can they be so cruel!?"

"I don't know …" Rokkaku sighed, looking over at Tsuge who was frantically scrolling through search results on the computer. "I'm just glad there are some of them who are anything but."

Minato understood what he meant … if not even more than that.

Chapter Text

They took a taxi to a nearby vet, got the baby cat - or kitten, as Minato learned while they were in the waiting room - all cleaned up, stabbed with a medicine needle and fed some actual food.

"Thank you for bringing her in … she's got a bad cold, and the risk of hypothermia at these temperatures … oh, you must have saved her life, Tsuge-san!"

"It-ah, it's nothing," Tsuge awkwardly did his best to converse with the vet. "I just couldn't leave her. Is there any shelter she can go to?"

"… I called around, two two we usually work with are unfortunately full, and one hasn't gotten back to me yet ... I apologize, I don't have an answer right now. We could hold her in the quarantine hall in the back for a few days, but … past that, I don't know. We will do our best to find some place for her."

"I see …"

"Would you like me to bring her out so you can say goodbye?"

"Yes … thank you, that would be nice."

Minato and Rokkaku watched as they brought the cat out in a soft transport box. It was slowly walking around, looking up at the edges. Tsuge pet her and wished her well, but … he didn't say goodbye.

"… sensei, are cats difficult to take care of?"

"Not particularly. Are you considering keeping her?"

"Would I be able to? I've never had a pet before."

"Well, she would need a lot of attention and care, so depending on your job, it could be difficult in her case …"

"I work from home."

"Any small children?"

"Oh, no, nothing of the sort!"

"Well, if you would have the space and resources for her care …"

"I am moving to a bigger apartment soon. And money is not an issue."

"Then I'm sure she would have a lovely home with you! Would you like to take her?"

"… yes, please. Are there any pamphlets, or a list of what I should get … ?"

"I will show you everything! If you come with me to the office, we can fill out the paperwork and discuss her future care … she's one lucky little lady, haha - I hope she knows!"

"Knew it," Rokkaku clicked his tongue, getting comfy in the waiting room as Tsuge disappeared down the hallway.

"… that he'll keep her?"

"Yup. The moment they said they don't know where to put her … I just knew."

"But isn't that … a lot to just, get a pet like that?"

"Yeah, but it's Masato - he has a heart of gold."

On some level, Minato already knew that. On several levels, to be honest. He knew it as part of Tsuge's description, the kinda thing you put in a bullet point list in a report. And he got to experience it first hand many times too … from phones to scarfs to food.

But today felt different somehow.

It was only after they were home that evening with a makeshift cat pen, bags of food, boxes of supplies, vet appointments in the calendar and a hundred tabs of apartment listings open on the laptop that Minato finally realized just how kind Tsuge really was. And it moved him more than he thought anything in the human world could.

Perhaps because it was so earnest … or perhaps because it felt personal.

"Did you have to name her Udon though," Rokkaku laughed at Tsuge who was sticking his face deep into the screen to compare window measurements on two different bedrooms.

"She was in a box of udon noodles when we found her," Tsuge shrugged. "I did my best! And I think it suits her."

"I think it's terrible."

"Minato, what do you think?"

"He says it's super cute," Rokkaku sighed. "Betrayed! By my own friend, nonetheless! Eugh … well, Udon-chan it is then! I can't believe that of all things, this is what finally gets your ass in gear to move, haha."

"Hey, I was in gear before …"

"In neutral, maybe. And hey, I'm not judging, I'm just amused! Udon-chan, you'll be super spoiled, I just know. Ahh, could we have a balcony? For the cat, of course."

"That's a good idea, I'll check that box … where is it … mhm, oh, that actually narrows the results a bit, come look at these …"

Minato sat with Udon on the floor, watching from the sidelines as the two looked at new apartments together.

He also stayed with her when they started going to apartment viewings.

And he kept her out of the way as Adachi and Kurosawa helped them pack up and get ready for the move.

He only went to the library once since then - alone, to return the books. Tsuge was too busy and just didn't have the time. Minato understood, but … he found himself missing their time together nonetheless. He wasn't completely side tracked though! There were still many evenings where they played with Udon together, and Minato loved those.

"You've warmed up to Masato after all, huh?" Rokkaku teased him the night before they moved out, right as Minato made sure Tsuge was well tucked into his blanket and sound asleep. "Was it the books?"

Was it? Or was it something else, Minato wondered, his gaze aimlessly falling to Udon sleeping by Tsuge's feet.

"… he's kind to lost little guys like me."

It was all he knew to say, and just putting it to words finally moved him to tears.

Rokkaku stepped closer and hugged him, not saying anything.

But Minato didn't feel truly at peace until much later when he went to sleep on the couch, wrapped in the scarf Tsuge had bought for him.

There were good humans in this world. Humans who cared about others. Humans who took care of others. Humans who could take care of him just as much as he'd take care of them. Humans he could rely on, and trust in, and be friends with. That alone was enough.

Enough to wash away his deep resentment about the human world, after which … he was just left with so much yearning and grief.

He didn't hate it here anymore … but he watched the stars from Tsuge's old window one last time tonight, and hated that he wasn't there.

In a way, that was worse.

But he would make do, because … well, there was nothing else to do.

He helped carry boxes when they moved, and continued taking care of Udon in their new place. He just wanted to be as useful as he could! He had no idea how Tsuge wanted his things stored, so he couldn't really help them unpack, but even just the clothes and books were taking a while to sort, so … Minato settled next to Udon, assuming she'd be his main company for a while.

It was another cold Monday morning, and Minato carefully navigated around the stacks of boxes in the kitchen to start making coffee. He heard Tsuge's footsteps approaching from the bedroom, soon seeing his sleepy face at the kitchen door turning into a smile at the scent of coffee.

"Morning, Minato."

"Morning!"

"Is Rokkaku on a date again?"

Minato picked up a spoon, moving it up and down.

"That's great, I'm glad they could make tonight work in the end. I hope they're having fun! But that means it's just us for breakfast, huh … hmm, hmm … will you tell on me if we go to the bakery down the street for croissants again?"

Minato shook the spoon side to side.

"You're the best. But hey, if we're going outside … would you like to check out the nearest library? It's bigger than the one we used to go to."

Minato's mouth hung open, his eyes dashing around the room between moving boxes and trash bags and dust pans and cleaning cloths. There was so much left to do, and yet …

"You want to spend time with me?"

"I'm sorry I've been too busy for a while … I hope you didn't get too bored or anything."

"I didn't!! Let's go to the library again!"

"It sure sounds like you were bored," Tsuge chuckled, holding his phone close to his face to read the messages without his glasses. "But yes, let's go to the library again."

As they stepped outside into the chilly winter air, Minato realized that not even walking on pavement felt burdensome anymore.

Chapter Text

The new library was great. They had a big new arrivals section, and their shelves were color coded too! There were many comfortable seating areas near the windows, and Minato could even see a future of sitting by his human one day as they read a novel, or study for school, or catch up on manga. So many different people of all ages in the same place … it really was a small world down here.

He borrowed a few books, and Tsuge picked a few as well. Rokkaku reached out when they were on the way home, and Minato happily reported that they were fine, and he could totally stay with Kaito and Adachi's mom until lunch if he wanted to.

"Yuuta's having a lunch date," he texted Tsuge when they got home.

"Ha. Kinda unfair, isn't it?" Tsuge chuckled, sitting down at his desk. "Wish I had someone else cooking for me like that!"

"Should I learn to cook?"

"Ah, no - I'm just joking," Tsuge shook his head. "You guys aren't maids or anything. Well, ignoring Kurosawa … I mean, if you want to learn how to cook, you can! But you shouldn't have to, I think. I should be able to feed myself, even if it's bothersome sometimes."

"I see."

"It's easier when I'm not writing at least. I'm sure when I get back to it, you'll hear Rokkaku complain that he has to shove bowls of rice between me and the screen."

"Will you be writing again soon?"

"I'm bouncing around some ideas," Tsuge nodded, picking up a pen and tapping it against his chin. "Nothing concrete yet. But I do have the itch to make something again …"

Still holding his phone in both hands, Minato suddenly perked up, feeling something he couldn't quite explain.

He felt so alienated from the human world most of the time. Like a complete outsider.

Masato was the only part of this world that ever felt like a bridge of some sort.

But even then, it didn't usually feel like that …

"You get that, right?" Tsuge continued playing with the pen. "Rokkaku used to say he felt the same about- ah, but I probably shouldn't talk about that."

Right … that's what it was. The itch to make something again … the literal twitch of Minato's wings as his whole body and every soul fragment fused within him wished he could be painting stars onto the night sky again.

"No it's ok."

It was not, but … he didn't want this sudden connection between them to disappear.

"Is it?" Tsuge cautiously read the message on his phone. "I know career changes can be stressful - it was hard for Rokkaku too at first."

"Yeah, he told me. I hope I end up like him lol"

"Was that why you changed to being a guardian?"

"Because of Yuuta? No." … "Maybe" … "It was the only option left anyway."

"The only option … ?"

"Just 'cause I'm stupid. I wasted so much time, when I gave up on celestial body arrangement, it was basically- I was just done. And not to be rude or anything, but guardian work is kinda … low skill if you don't get assigned to someone terrible."

He never thought he'd be able to say it so nonchalantly. Part of it still hurt, but … at least it was true. At least it was all true. And he was glad he shared it with Masato: the human was so serious and responsible about his work, maybe he will even praise Minato for making a good decision in the end?

"… you gave up?"

That wasn't praise.

"Minato, why?"

… what does he mean, why?

"Didn't Yuuta tell you?"

"Not really? I didn't ask, I didn't want to pry or anything. I think he just said you guys ended up on the same page or something?"

"Yeah. But that's because I sucked at what I really wanted to do. That whole time, I was pissed off 'cause he didn't even try, but- well he knew when to let go. I didn't. I'm doing my best now. I'm sorry."

"You wanted to work on stars, right?"

"Yeah."

"You still do?"

"… yeah."

It was not the answer Tsuge had expected. He wondered if he misunderstood, or if Rokkaku's avoidance of this sensitive topic had misled him to believe that he and Minato were the same. And sure, on some level they were, but … he couldn't remember Rokkaku ever talking about his past career dreams like that.

It wasn't a common topic of conversation to begin with - maybe more so back when Tsuge was struggling with his own career. But even then, when they sat awake late at night and stared at the sky, when Rokkaku talked about the stars … it was like reminiscing on some childhood wonder, the same way humans talked about how they wanted to be astronauts and race car drivers when they grow up. Some made it there, sure - but most of them did not.

Still, there was a tangible difference between someone who had said goodbye to their old dream, and someone who had given up.

"Are you happy being a guardian?"

"Not really. It's not your fault. I think it takes time to adjust. It's not your fault, really. Most of the happiness I did have was because of you actually."

"That's- uh, that's very nice of you to say," Tsuge awkwardly mumbled, being caught off guard. "But if you aren't happy, you shouldn't be doing it! If you have a dream, you should go for it!"

So much for Masato making him happy sometimes, Minato thought as he pulled his phone to his chest, finding it hard to breathe. It wasn't even his fault … he didn't know … but that was the thing … he didn't know. Nobody knew what his own stubbornness had put him through. Not Yuuta, and most definitely not Masato.

"You don't know."

"You don't know what it's like"

"I only ever wanted one thing. And I gave it everything, and I didn't get anywhere. It's one of the best jobs you can do. You don't know how hard it is to not be good enough."

"I was only ever happy thinking I'd get to make constellations with Yuuta. I wanted it so much, I even tried to do it alone. I tried everything. I made it all the way to the end, and they said yeah, maybe you can regulate some wind around that place they call Australia. Why would I?"

"You don't know what it's like. I had a dream. I DID go for it. It didn't work out. I just want to forget about it and be left alone."

He was sobbing by the end of it. Fuck … no, it wasn't okay. And now he'd just … damn it, he was so awful to Masato, even after he asked- it was all Minato's fault, he said it was okay, Masato probably wouldn't have even said anything if it weren't for that … and now look what came of it.

He felt so terrible about all the messages he'd just sent without thinking, he wished he could take them back. He wished he could make himself disappear. He didn't know how he could ever look Masato in the eyes again.

So he didn't.

He dropped his phone on the couch, pulled his knees to his chest, and bawled his eyes out.

At least Masato couldn't see him. At least-

He felt something bump against his wing. When he looked up, Masato was there, laptop in one hand and the other reaching out … feeling for him?

He sat the laptop down next to the phone. There was a little box plugged into it on the side. He then returned to his desk, rummaging through the drawers and eventually tossing two more of those on the couch. What was he doing? Weren't those the things that connected his mouse to the laptop? Why did he have so many? What was going on?

He felt like running to Rokkaku for help … but fuck, he didn't want Rokkaku to find out about any of this.

"You asked me once if I wrote any more books," Tsuge's voice was muffled, finding its way out of the storage room.

What was he looking for in there? What was in this box that he brought out and dumped on the floor by Minato's feet?

"… and I said it was just the ones on the shelves. But that's not really true. Those are just the ones that got published. I wrote many others that didn't," Tsuge bit his lip, opening the box and taking out paper manuscripts. "I wanted to throw them away. Rokkaku convinced me not to. I scanned some of them … some were digital to begin with … I'm sure I've lost some over the years too, it's just … "

Uh oh.

Tsuge looked up, adjusting his head position awkwardly to someone he couldn't see.

He wouldn't have known it, but their eyes met almost instantly.

And Minato felt something collapse within him as they did.

"… I do know what it's like. I wanted to give up too. Rokkaku wouldn't let me. I wouldn't let me … because I knew I wouldn't be happy. There's a difference between growing out of your dream, and giving up. You shouldn't give up, Minato."

He sat there, surrounded by all of Masato's failures, still sobbing without a word.

Why did it matter so much to Masato …

… why did it matter so much to him too?

Chapter Text

"I don't want to overstep o-or nag you, or … anything, it's just …" Tsuge stumbled over his words, the impending awkwardness of kneeling on the floor with a box of rejected scripts and an angel he couldn't even see slowly dawning on him. "I know. I know how miserable it feels! But you can't run away from feeling miserable for a while if the alternative will make you miserable for the rest of your life … especially if you're immortal."

Minato hadn't realized it before, but … he and Masato were actually really alike.

Except Masato was way, way, way cooler than him.

He tried to pick up the phone to say something, but his hands were trembling and he could barely see through the tears.

"Minato … do you need a hug?"

He nodded. And then remembered Masato couldn't see him. But before he could grab the phone to signal with, Masato already sat beside him on the couch and put his arms around Minato.

All Minato could do was hold on and cry.

"… you're crying?" Tsuge asked, seeing tears spill onto his shirt where Minato's head was resting. "Minato … I'm sorry …"

No … no, it wasn't is fault, it was …

… he was right. Minato wanted to believe he was right. He wanted to believe he could be just like him. He wanted to believe he could be happy. He wanted to dream, damn it.

It felt like this one embrace completely dismantled months of trying to convince himself that walking the human world as a guardian was where he belonged. He just wanted to hold on, he wanted to forget everything else, he wanted Masato to tell him he shouldn't give up, he wanted to dream … he wanted to dream so much …

"Uhm, uh … Minato, you're- it's getting kinda tight in here," Tsuge awkwardly smiled, trying to pull away from the grip Minato had trapped him in.

He hadn't realized how desperately he'd been holding on. Snapped back to reality, he quickly let go, wings untangling from around Masato's back as he finally picked up his phone again.

"Sorry." "Thank you." "Masato you're so cool."

"Cool? Ehh … no," Tsuge awkwardly blushed. "I just … I know. I know what it's like."

The words enveloped Minato's heart like northern lights painting the sky, and behind them, Masato shined like one of those massive experimental stars that would only get approved for corners of the galaxy that the humans would never see.

"Don't give up."

He would not.

It was just a moment, just one sentence, just the same thing everyone else has already said, the same thing he'd told himself so many times in vain, but … it was all different this time.

"Can I have another hug?"

"Sure," Tsuge nodded, reaching out his arms.

Minato folded into his embrace, leaning his head on Masato's shoulder and holding on with his wings. He wanted to remember this feeling … wanted to remember what it felt like to believe.

"I'm kinda surprised though - your wings are really soft," Tsuge mumbled, his hand catching on the top of Minato's wing as they pulled away. "Like pillows - Rokkaku's aren't like that at all! I was so confused when you first held onto me, I didn't even realize those were your wings at first."

"Yeah, Yuuta always struggled with those flap flaps."

"… flap flaps?"

"It's kind of a joke." "It's those wings like his, slick and flat." "Very practical down here tbh." "But it was part of why he struggled with arrangement. At least I'm lucky in that regard."

"Are your wings better for arranging stars?" Tsuge asked, comfortably settling onto the couch with his phone in his hands.

"Better than Yuuta's? Yeah, by millennia lol." "Don't tell him I said that!!"

"I won't. I didn't even know there were different kinds of wings!"

"There are. I really like mine, actually. They're dense, robust and compact, with short feathers and good edges. Great for fast flight and precise maneuvering! I used to think my wings were like, the one thing I got."

"I think you've got more than that," Tsuge smiled. "You've got passion … you want it, it matters so much to you … you're an artist. That's a gift and a curse for all of us, I think … just try to make the most of it. Go for it. Be happy."

"You really think I should try again?"

"Can you? Or is it too late?"

"I finished celestial body arrangement training. So there's that. I just couldn't pick up a mentor or get a project approved. And you need that to actually do anything. I kept trying and got nowhere and that's where I gave up."

"Yeah that's what we'd call publishing in my world," Tsuge chuckled at the message. "And it can fuck right off, it's the worst. Hey, but once you get through … it sometimes makes you want to burn everything that failed before," he sighed, looking at the pile of manuscripts, the laptop and the USB keys on the couch beside them.

"Do you hate these stories?"

Tsuge bit his lip, exhaling slowly as his expression relaxed.

"I don't. Not today at least. But I used to - and I sometimes still do. Failure is a lot to carry. But also, some of them are just inexcusably mediocre anyway. In hindsight, I'm not too upset they didn't get published," he tried to lighten the mood again.

"And you're letting me read them?" "Or why did you bring them all out?"

"… kinda to prove a point," Tsuge shrugged, starting to feel a bit embarrassed at his attempt at a grand motivating gesture. "To make you feel better, or … eh, inspire you, I don't know … I jumped before thinking, really."

"Is it really ok to read them?"

"Yeah, sure … if you would want to?"

"I WOULD WANT TO!" "Thanks!"

"… you're welcome. But we should make it fair then," Tsuge crossed his arms. "I want to see your rejected projects too. Ah, if I can, I mean."

"That's fair - I will try to figure out a way!"

"Take your time. You've got like a decade of bad writing to get through here anyway."

"Can't be that bad?"

"The USB archives? Ehhh, debatable," Tsuge fixed his glasses. "But for what's left of the handwritten stuff … you might want to start there before I change my mind. Some of those are from high school! Damn, that's so long ago …"

It wasn't even 20 years, Minato thought. That was a lot to Masato, but nothing to him.

So if Masato could change so much in just 20 years … surely Minato could pull something together in the next 200 or so?

"… hey, Yuuta?"

"Yeah? Minato? Everything good? Do you need me to get back home?"

"No, no … everything good, just … uhm, how's the date going?"

"Fine?"

"I'm not disturbing you mid kiss or anything?"

"You're like 2 minutes off. But he's helping with the dishes now, and I'm just watching."

"Cool. I just wanted to ask … Yuuta, should I try again?"

The long distance silence in these conversations always felt so incredibly isolating in the human world. But Minato waited, wondering how many questions Yuuta would have about what the fuck is going on.

Turns out he only had one, and it landed in Minato's mind with the most supportive tone.

"What did Masato do?"

"He said he knows."

"And he brought the old box out?"

"Yeah."

"I thought he might."

"What do you mean, you thought? … did you set me up?!"

"No. But after you joined us, I just realized at some point … that he's a lot like you. No wonder you're both my besties!"

"He's way cooler than me though."

"Nah … I think you're the coolest, Minato. You always have been."

"Thanks."

"So no more hanging out at work then?"

"Uh, not so fast … I have to think about this."

"Gotcha! Then let's have fun with the humans a bit longer while you mull it over!"

"Sounds good. Sorry I barged in on your date, I just … I wanted to tell you."

"It's what best friends are for. Kaito says hi, by the way. And that he wants you to make a shooting star for us once you get there."

"Stupid supportive friends … I hate you both!"

"Love you too!"

He could hear Kaito's laughter at the end of Yuuta's thoughts, that's how much the two were intertwined.

Love, huh?

Suddenly, he felt like he had the whole sky to fall in love with again.

Chapter Text

"Are you going to read them all in one night?" Rokkaku chuckled, sitting in the doorway of the bedroom, watching over a sleeping Tsuge on one side and Minato buried in manuscripts on the other.

"I'm trying to pace myself!" Minato sighed, squeezing Tsuge's handwriting tight to his chest as he sank further between the couch cushions. "I just … it's just … I don't know. I can't describe it. It's really, uhm … it's really not that good," he mumbled quietly. "But it's just so …"

"Raw and made with love?"

"Yes! You can tell, right?"

"Mhm," Rokkaku nodded. "Always could. That's why I encouraged him to keep going. Why I encouraged you too."

"… sorry I didn't listen."

"You did," Rokkaku smiled. "Doesn't matter who to. I just want you to be happy."

"I don't know if I will be … don't know if I'll get anything approved even if I try a million times more …"

"But you'd be happier trying?"

"… what kinda hopeless airhead does that make me, I wonder."

"It makes you an artist. That's what Masato would say, at least."

"I feels so weird … I used to resent him, you know?"

"What- him specifically?! I thought you were just bitter about the human world in general!"

"I mean, yeah, I was. But he was the personification of that to me," Minato slumped over, hiding behind his wings. "I hated what he was like, I hated what life around him was like, I hated that you were bound to him, I hated how there was always this living reminder right beside us, of how things played out, of how it's really over, how you won't be back to chase our dream … and now look at me."

"I can't, you're hiding."

"For good reason!"

"Need a hug?"

"… yeah."

"Give me half an hour, I got a man's whole early career to dig through," Rokkaku laughed, pushing aside the manuscripts until he could reach Minato.

He squeezed him tight, messing up his hair in the process.

"There. Better?"

"Mhm. Thanks, Yuuta."

"You're welcome. And you know … Minato, I am really sorry I couldn't stay in the skies with you."

"You know I've forgiven that, right?"

"Yeah, but still."

"Well … if anything, I've forgiven it a second time since being here," Minato hummed quietly, resting his head on Rokkaku's shoulder as they both stared at Tsuge through the bedroom door. "You're content, aren't you? In a happy kinda way."

"… I am. And see, it's not easy for me to say either! 'Cause fuck, what could have been … Minato, I was happy up there with you too. It's hard to find happiness somewhere else than you thought you would."

"But you found it … so I thought I should too."

"You were never the one following me," Rokkaku nudged him through the wings. "Don't start now."

"… mhm. But I don't even know where to start! Yuuta, can I stay here for a while? Can I keep living with you guys?"

"You still have your guardian training, right? As long as you keep turning in reports, should be fine," Rokkaku shrugged.

"I hope so. I feel like I could … use some support … if that's okay."

"I'm sure Masato would love that."

"I meant both of you!"

"I'd love that too. Stay as long as you want."

"Thanks, Yuuta. You're the best!"

"I try. Now, would you mind if I have a short nap? I feel like I need an hour or two," Rokkaku yawned.

"Oh, to have your problems of a boyfriend that keeps me up for weeks," Minato rolled his eyes. "Your life is so hard!"

"I don't know how I survive," Rokkaku nodded, settling in on the other side of the couch.

"We're immortal."

"Right, that probably helps."

The laughter between them was soft and comfortable. Rokkaku soon fell asleep, and Minato drifted back to reading Tsuge's old stories. What a time to be reading romance after romance after romance, he thought to himself as the sunrise began to creep on the horizon. If he really wants to give celestial body arrangement another shot, he's about to be so insanely busy again … it probably means no relationships for another couple decades at least. Augh … not that he minded, most of the time. But sometimes, when he saw Kaito doting on Yuuta … he kinda did.

Well, but at least if he finally has a cool job, he'll get lots of dates.

Just imagine walking into every party being able to say you just got back from a close distance shooting star, or that you have to leave early for a summer sunrise. Everyone was into that! Plus being happy with his life would also probably help. Because to be honest, that was the biggest problem when it came to dating so far: not that he wasn't cool, but that he was fucking miserable most of the time.

And of all the places … it was here, by a human's side, that he remembered how it felt to be happy again.

"I was never gonna make it as a guardian, was I," he sighed to himself with a smile as he watched Masato stir in his bed before waking up. "I'm supposed to be the one looking out for you, and yet … look what you've done."

Really … look what he's done.

Masato wouldn't know it, but when he sat up on the side of his bed and blinked into the distance, their eyes met, and Minato felt like he could cry.

"Thank you so much. Thank you for everything. I think you changed my whole life yesterday …"

None of it was heard. Later, Minato would surely take the time to write it all out in a message, but right now, he just couldn't. So he sat quietly, watching Tsuge's morning routine until it came time for breakfast and coffee: until Masato called out to him, and Minato leaped off the couch to follow.

"Yuuta still out cold btw. Can I have his cereal?"

"You can always get extra, just ask," Tsuge smiled. "So, how's the reading going?"

"Amazing! I can see how you got where you are today! It's so cool!"

"I see we haven't made it to the bottom of the box yet," Tsuge knowingly nodded to himself. "… anyway, t-thanks. And where's Udon?"

"No clue. Didn't she sleep with you?"

"We'll see," Tsuge shrugged, opening the kibble bag.

With a loud meoowww, the box of Tsuge's manuscripts slid a good half meter across the floor as Udon jumped out, running toward her bowl.

"There you were, huh? Good girl," Tsuge quickly patter her before dispensing the morning scoop of kibble. "You still like boxes despite where we found you? Maybe I'll leave some out for you …"

"She can have this one! I'll empty it soon, promise."

"Maybe we should, yeah. I guess this is the final push I needed to scan all of these- ah, but I still haven't bothered to set up the scanner, ugh … those never work, maybe I should just scan them at the library … no, I'd rather not take these out in public."

"Maybe Yuuta and I can help with the scanner?"

"You'd help?"

"Yes? Printers are pretty high on the list of stressors and anger sources! We should help with those!"

"Is that so?" Tsuge mused, rubbing his chin. "I might need a copy of that list, I wonder what else is on there that Rokkaku just enjoys watching me struggle with."

"I'll scold him later! Where's the scanner?"

"Box under the desk," Tsuge sighed. "Hey, that's-"

"THAT'S ANOTHER BOX FOR UDON!" his phone buzzed at the same time.

It was a small moment of sharing a thought, but it made him laugh nonetheless. He wondered if Minato was laughing too as he watched the phone float away toward the desk, being put down on the floor and then pushed away as Minato made space for his fight with the scanner.

This angel went through half the things even the most lenient publishers wouldn't give a second look in one night, and yet he didn't seem to think any less of Tsuge for it.

What a nice guy.

As embarrassing as it was, Tsuge was just glad he was able to help. Even the bottom of the box, the very early beginnings Minato would undoubtedly get to in a night or two … damn it, Tsuge would let him see it all. This was bigger than himself, this was someone's life and happiness on the line, this finally meant something more than just a pile of rejections.

If there was anyone he'd be willing to show such a vulnerable side of him - well, it would be Rokkaku of course, but with him, he kinda didn't have a choice. But now that he could choose … yeah, Minato was totally worth looking uncool for, if it meant helping him.

Chapter Text

"I read them all!"

The message Tsuge woke up to felt almost like a threat. Still, he slowly rolled out of bed into a world where Minato now knew everything he'd ever written - but as embarrassing as it was, Tsuge just kept reminding himself that it was for a good cause.

"Morning, Minato. Rokkaku?"

"Right here, eager for breakfast!"

"You could make some for both of you if I'm sleeping in, you know," Tsuge yawned.

"But eating together is all the fun."

"Yeah there's no point without you," Rokkaku agreed.

"Sometimes it's like I have three cats," Tsuge chuckled on his way to the bathroom.

"Oh, we fed Udon in the morning - she was ravenous!"

"Of course, she's the only one who knows what it's like to starve!"

But maybe one day, she would forget, Tsuge looked at her with a smile as he prepared breakfast for him and his angels a while later. It still caught him off guard sometimes, just seeing a cat moving through the apartment. In fact, the whole apartment still caught him off guard too!

It wasn't just his old drafts he'd been rummaging through lately. It was everything, wasn't it?

He was used to sitting still.

Now everything was in motion: not unpleasant, but certainly unnerving.

"Masato, by the way, you said we'd do the laundry today."

"Yeah? We will," Tsuge confirmed, confused why Rokkaku was reminding him. "I haven't slept in that late, we have plenty of time."

"Mhm," Rokkaku mused. "Except there's someone extremely eager to use up all your time, I think."

"I'm sorry we can't talk while you're doing chores," Minato messaged him right after.

"That's okay," Tsuge smiled. "Let's do the laundry first, and then you can tell me what you thought about those really old stories. Sounds good?"

"Yup!"

It was the reasonable thing to do, getting chores out of the way before leisure - but Tsuge would be lying if he said that he didn't get a bit of extra motivation from looking forward to what Minato was going to say. So with his last sweater folded and put away, he finally sat down on the couch with a cup of tea and his phone in his lap, giving his screen - and Minato - complete and undivided attention.

"Thank you so much again for letting me read everything. I had such a good time. I can see why some of these were rejected, they aren't as interesting as the new books, but I still think they're all important!"

"Thank you …"

"It's like a whole journey. And you can really tell this has been your whole life! Like in your books now, the love interests meet at work, or at a cafe, or out on a walk, but then there's this whole other era where they met in class, or at the dorm - you were in university when you wrote those, right?"

"Not really … but it was shortly after, I guess. I haven't heard enough of Adachi's work stories yet to feel comfortable writing an office romance, so I stuck to what I was familiar with," Tsuge explained.

"Oh, so those are all from after uni?"

"Mhm."

"That's cool! Well, I liked the one with two literature students - meeting at the library is such a good idea!"

"Right? I need to reuse that in something I actually publish, it's really good," Tsuge agreed.

"It's just SOOOOOO romantic! And the couple was so cute, and I know what it's like to talk about books with someone now, so I really felt it! I was so immersed in that one!"

"Really, huh? Was that your favorite?"

"Almost! My favorite wasn't finished, actually."

Tsuge saw papers flying back and forth for a moment until Minato found the manuscript he was looking for.

"I really loved this."

Tsuge knew what it was almost immediately.

"I was so invested I actually thought I lost the last pages, I spent so long looking for them! But I couldn't find them. I AM DEVASTATED! It's so good! That whole pile was so interesting, actually. Nothing like your other stuff!"

Yeah … yeah, that was kinda the point, Tsuge sighed, staring at the title of the last mystery he ever wrote - or, well, tried to write. It was a story of a man returning to his small home town only to learn that no one remembered him anymore - not even his childhood best friend. It was almost as if he had never existed at all.

What was the ending going to be again? Tsuge had forgotten all about it by now. Or maybe, with how discouraged he was back then … perhaps he never had an ending in mind to begin with.

"That's an old one," he finally smiled. "You know … if I'm totally honest, I didn't want to be a romance writer either. I wanted to write stuff like that," he pointed at the decade old manuscript. "But it wasn't getting anywhere, and romance was already all the rage back then, so my editor suggested it. I don't even know if people read mysteries nowadays …"

"You won't write them anymore?"

It wasn't a no - it was just a question he'd never asked himself before. He felt he didn't need to, almost like it was self evident, or maybe even out of his control. He was a best selling romance novelist now, that was his life. There was always 'the next book' to come, but the expectations were already set in place: it would be a romance, every time.

It might not have been exactly what he wanted, but he was content with it.

… he had been content with it.

"You know, I think-" he paused mid sentence, catching himself getting swept up in Minato's enthusiasm.

"Yeah?"

"… I think if you'll give your dreams a second shot … I'd want to write another mystery too."

"Really?? Reaaaaallyyy???"

"Mhm. I, uh … I mean," Tsuge mumbled, feeling himself blush. "It's only fair! But also … I think you're really inspiring."

"You're my inspiration too, Masato."

"I didn't do anything."

"You did everything!!!!"

It was in moments like this that Tsuge wondered what Minato's expression looked like right now.

Sometimes, he really wished he could see him - even if just for a second or two.

Because there he was: an otherworldly being, invisible to him, inaudible, a supposed crease on the wallpaper in the background of Tsuge's life, and yet … just look at how often Minato took center stage anyway! It was pretty difficult to experience such a strong presence just through messages on his phone - but he would make do.

They didn't have any other option after all.

On their next trip to the library, they stopped at a stationery store on the way back. Tsuge bought a new notepad to draft his next story, and Minato asked for two sets of colored pencils - yellow and blue.

"What are those for?" Rokkaku asked as they walked back home.

"I said I'll show Masato my work!" Minato beamed with excitement, holding the pencils close to his chest. "So I thought I could draw my constellation plans for him - like, the human way!"

"Hmm … aren't you losing the third dimension like this?"

"I guess? But the sky is flat to them anyway, isn't it? I'll just try to get as close as I can! Do you think he'll like it?"

"I think he'll love it," Rokkaku encouraged him without a doubt.

And so slowly, week by week, his afternoons turned to playing with Udon on the couch while Minato and Masato worked at the kitchen table: sitting beside each other, Masato scribbling ideas on bullet point lists and sketching out timelines, and Minato painting quietly, the tsss-tssss-tsssss sound of pencils rubbing against paper becoming a near constant in their lives.

Every now and then, Masato moved his notepad over, showing a new plot line to Minato.

Every now and then, Minato tugged on Masato's sleeve to show him his drawings too.

Masato wouldn't know it, but Rokkaku watched them both, and he could tell: every now and then, their heads almost bumped into each other, and they looked completely submerged in their own little world.

Well … more like each other's worlds.

Chapter Text

It was cruel, returning back to the work he had basically abandoned. There was more to face here than just some drafts he never finished, Tsuge thought as he mulled over the paragraphs on his screen. He remembered extremely vividly just how passionate he was about writing mysteries … how happy it made him … how dejecting it felt when no publisher picked them up … how frustrating it all became when those rejections piled up one after the other.

He didn't regret moving on. Didn't regret adjusting his trajectory so that he could make it as a writer, which was what he really wanted at the end of the day. It wasn't regret, no - a different kind of demon waited for him between these lines.

He didn't regret moving on … but he had done so with the explicit, overwhelming, painful knowledge that even with so much passion and love, things can still not work out. You can still be not good enough.

It was cruel, having to face all those feelings again.

But when has it ever been easy?

What is writing but pain, he mused to himself as he looked at the ceiling for a moment to reset his gaze, because the screen was already turning blurry before him. But as he reached for the keyboard again, his left arm suddenly felt heavy. Had he been sitting in some terrible position again? Should he get up and stretch, or maybe-

"Don't move," Rokkaku quietly whispered from the couch behind him.

"Huh?" Tsuge looked over his shoulder, confused

"Well, I mean, you can," Rokkaku smiled, pointing at the other chair. "But Minato just dozed off on your arm."

"Oh … so that's what that is," Tsuge mumbled, lowering his voice too as he looked at the nothingness beside him.

"Yup. I was gonna say something, but it was too funny. I watched his eyes close and then off he went, like the leaning tower of Pisa."

"Is he okay?"

"Sure! Just hasn't slept in almost two weeks," Rokkaku chuckled.

"Two weeks? That's a lot for you, isn't it?"

"Kinda, yeah," Rokkaku nodded. "It's maybe two all-nighters for humans? I'm not sure. We should have a little nap every few days down here at least - although I've heard Kurosawa once went a month without sleep when one of his humans was sick!"

"Of course the crazy guy is crazy, what else is new?" Tsuge rolled his eyes. "But why wasn't Minato sleeping?"

"You got him all fired up," Rokkaku shrugged. "I haven't seen him like this- … well, since before we fell out."

"That's nice," Tsuge mumbled. "But he should still sleep properly!"

"Well, he is sleeping now," Rokkaku laughed, tapping the couch for Udon to jump on. "Feel free to throw him off at your convenience."

Having an angel slouched on his arm sure was inconvenient - but Tsuge wasn't going to throw him off.

Maybe he'd gently nudge him aside … eventually.

For now, he just wanted Minato to rest. And if he had to take a break from writing, and if his arm felt heavy and tingled for a while before going numb, and if he could already feel the ache this would give his shoulder tomorrow … that was fine somehow. Or at the very least, Tsuge couldn't think about that right now.

Instead, he thought about how special it felt to share his creative space with someone who was also losing sleep over their art. There was a sense of camaraderie in the air which he'd never experienced before. Sure, he talked about the sleepless nights with other authors when they were making small talk at events, but it was something completely different to actually physically share that moment with someone.

Well, as much as he could physically share anything with an angel he couldn't see or hear.

But he could feel him.

Minato was still a tactile presence, yes, but more importantly, Tsuge could also sense him in so many other ways. He couldn't see him - but he could. He couldn't hear him - but he could. Minato was invisible and silent - but he left traces as he interacted with the world, and Tsuge had become attuned to looking out for them during their time together.

For someone he couldn't directly perceive, Minato felt so immensely present in Tsuge's life, it was almost unnerving.

He looked at the emptiness where he knew Minato's head was, and wished he could see him.

Huh … that thought popped up more and more often lately. Well, but it was only natural - it would have made everything so much easier! Although maybe not even seeing, maybe just hearing Minato would be enough. Or overwhelming, Tsuge quickly corrected himself as he remembered how eager Minato had become with his messaging. Still … Tsuge wished he could hear him anyway.

It would be a point of connection: spontaneous, genuine, not mediated by a screen he had to check just to receive Minato's words.

It would be something between them.

Something more.

Something that humans naturally took for granted.

Something that Tsuge yearned for when it was gone.

And yet … when he felt this way about Kurosawa, buying him a phone immediately solved the problem. With Minato, it did not. With Minato … it was different somehow. And as Tsuge continued to stare at the emptiness, he couldn't tell why. Maybe it was because Minato was closer. Maybe because they had already shared so much with each other. Maybe because they were so similar. Maybe because they were literally on a journey through their past dreams that got away together.

Either way, Tsuge just wished he could hear him. His gaze settled in the emptiness. The yearning festered. He could see the constellation Minato was drawing in the corner of his eye. And he wanted to know, wanted to feel, wanted to experience how Minato felt about it too. He wanted to hear his excitement without having to narrate it for himself based on capital letters and several exclamation points in Minato's messages. He wanted to hear the voice of someone who cared so much, who was living- thriving with his art so much, he forgot to sleep.

But he never would.

Well … not with Minato at least.

He took a deep breath, his gaze drifting off to the cloudy night sky outside the window. His imagination conjured up a warm scene of two writers sharing a small apartment: her slouched over her laptop and him sipping coffee on the other side of the table, watching lovingly amidst a disorganized pile of notes. The woman looked up and smiled. The man reached out his hand. She held it for a moment in passing before returning to the keyboard, and on went the clicking noise of words being strung together again.

It wasn't from any of his novels - just a personal fantasy he hadn't put to writing yet.

And he probably never would, because … well, that was the kinda thing you wrote with someone.

And he only had half of that book.

He reached over with his right hand, moving slowly until he bumped into something soft. He patted Minato's head, his fingers lingering where they could feel what his eyes could not see.

It was a point of connection.

Something between them.

Tsuge closed his eyes and imagined hearing Minato's shallow breaths, or the soft sighs in his sleep, or maybe even the way he snored.

That scene, too … felt warm.

"Oh come on, guys," Rokkaku sighed the next time he looked over at his friends, seeing that the questionable sleeping architecture had now escalated with Masato's head falling to the side, resting atop Minato's at an unspeakable angle. "Masato, a man so averse to scheduling appointments should not be sleeping like this! I'm not emailing any chiropractors for you if you need one after this. You're folded over like a pretzel!"

He thought about undoing the mess and carrying Masato to his bed.

But he eventually chose not to - instead draping a blanket over their backs before returning to Udon's side on the couch. He rubbed her belly, and the room echoed a calm silence as she purred, but Rokkaku's mind was already stuck somewhere beyond the calm.

For years, he had been used to the intense and seemingly unprompted bursts of indescribable yearning emanating from Masato. And yet despite how they felt to Rokkaku, those feelings very much were describable to the human - he was using them to write after all. They were little scenes, sometimes whole movies in his head, as Masato would say. And he lived them, and he felt them, and he dragged himself through everything he wanted the characters to feel, and then - then, he could speak for them in a way that would connect.

No wonder his romances were a hit: even the play-pretend feelings he based them off of were intense enough to throw Rokkaku's vibes radar completely off. When his next assignment gets their first crush, he's not even gonna notice, is he? Oh what was that, you fell in love? Sorry, I didn't notice, for my last human that amount of pining was just a routinely self inflicted Tuesday evening alone at his desk.

But if Masato was back to writing a mystery now … why could Rokkaku still pick up on those feelings just the same?

Was it still just about writing?

… or was it something else?

It was a fine line after all - between admiration and love.

Chapter Text

When Minato woke up, the apartment was quiet. The fan in Masato's laptop still hummed on, but the screen had dimmed and … Masato's head was resting on the keyboard. Must have fell asleep … both of them, actually.

He yawned, stretching his wings and lifting his head.

As he did, a sudden warmth passed by his cheek, and he saw Masato's hand fall down, his arm limp as it came to rest on the table.

… did Masato pet his head before falling asleep?

Wait, did Minato fall asleep on Masato's shoulder!?

"Y-Yeah …" Minato mumbled, pulling his feet up on the chair and clutching his knees to his chest. "This is why I gotta make the stars work … I'd be fucking useless as a guardian. I must be such a burden …"

And yet Masato still took care of him anyway.

"Yuuta? I'm sorry- oh," Minato quickly shut up as he looked behind him, seeing his friend also having a nap on the couch. There was someone who was responsible about his sleep schedule … good for him. Minato just had too much going on right now.

Still, he wanted to give back at least a little: so he picked up Masato with his wings, and gently carried him over to the bed, carefully tucking him in.

Not knowing what else to do with himself, he sat on the floor beside the bed, resting his arms on the edge of the mattress and letting his wings fall as he watched Masato's eyelids twitch in rhythm with his breaths. His hair had gotten long lately - Rokkaku said that often happens between books when he can't be bothered to go for a haircut. How endearing, Minato thought. Inspiring, even. To be so engrossed, so consumed, so dedicated …

Masato's hair wasn't the only thing that grew: the kinship Minato felt with him did too.

He reached out, moving away a strand of Masato's hair that had fallen over his eyes and caused his sleeping face to twitch in a frown. Minato spun the lock between his fingers for a while, almost mesmerized by how temporal everything about the humans was, down to such small features on their body. Within months, Masato's look had so drastically changed - meanwhile Minato wouldn't look any different for millennia to come.

They were so different, and yet …

"… it looks good on you. You should keep it."

So different, and yet Minato felt a sense of belonging like never before as he finally pulled back and let go of Masato's hair with a soft whisper.

He had shared his passion for celestial body arrangement with countless of his peers. Especially Rokkaku. But it never felt like this - not even with him.

Well, of course.

Yuuta was his equal.

And Masato … Masato was something else. Something Minato couldn't quite describe. 'A mentor' was the closest he got, but it just didn't feel right. He wondered if maybe to a human, Masato might feel like a caring parent or a reliable older brother, but of course being an angel, Minato had no frame of reference to compare those concepts to.

All he knew was that he felt cared for, understood, encouraged, supported, inspired and so much more just from being by Masato's side.

And them sitting next to each other and sharing their work had another unexpected perk too: purely coincidental, of no real note, Minato couldn't tell why he even noticed it or why it mattered, but … it did. When they worked together at the table, sitting so close, sometimes when Masato looked at him, by pure chance, everything aligned so that their gazes met even with Minato being invisible to the human.

He knew he couldn't be seen. He knew he would never be.

And yet when Masato looked his way, when their eyes met without truly meeting, Minato felt seen in ways he hadn't before. Like they already shared so much - their work, their struggles, their doubts, their challenges, their passions - and then in those brief moments, it was somehow even more, and … it made Minato's chest quiver, honestly.

Masato had the world.

All Minato had were hopes and dreams.

But Masato still didn't think any less of him.

… to Masato, they were equals. The human really believed that Minato could become like him too.

Perhaps that was it.

When their eyes met, Minato was more than he had let himself believe.

And damn it, he so badly needed a little bit of that.

"You know …" he rested his head on the side of the bed, whispering quietly - as if it mattered. "… if I make it, I'll name a constellation after you one day. And I'll put it somewhere where humans will see it. And no one will ever know, but … you guys already don't know anything about the stars we make. And you have whole books about how much they mean to you anyway. So no one will know how much it meant to me … how much you meant to me. But it'll mean something new to them, maybe. And I think I'd like that. I think that would be a fair way to say, you know ... thank you. Thank you so much, Masato."

His voice had picked up by the end again … because it didn't matter. It never would. He would never be seen, he would never be heard. The only path between them was the light of Masato's phone screen, and whatever tiny parts of this world Minato's hands could move.

In terms of communication, it was surprisingly efficient and achieved more than it needed to.

Still, it felt futile to Minato sometimes.

He could already tell Masato everything he wanted, but … who knows. Sometimes, he wished they could talk. Sometimes, he wished Masato could see him too. Sometimes …

The sheets rustled as he reached out, touching Masato's hand and slowly, firmly, desperately holding on.

… he wished he could tell Masato things that couldn't be said.

The kind of admiration you see in one's gaze, the kind of happiness you hear when someone laughs, the depth of gratitude found in words trailing off into nothingness because they couldn't possibly express everything … stuff like that. Those were things Masato would never know.

And why should he?

Really, why was Minato stuck on this nonsense anyway … he'd already taken up so much of Masato's space and time, in every sense of those words, and still … did this count as greed? Or was it just an artifact of the human world to be plagued by this indescribable desire for more … for what wasn't his to have in the first place … for pause in a place he was only ever supposed to pass?

"You were supposed to be a nuisance …" he bit his lip, still holding Masato's hand.

The sun crept up on the horizon as dawn broke.

Masato stirred, turning around in his sleep.

His hair fell over his eyes again.

Minato lingered longer than had to when he brushed it away.

"… what have you become?"

A friend. A mentor. An inspiration. A muse.

… a guardian of sorts, Minato thought as he went back to holding his hand, soon being lured back to sleep by just how warm and safe it felt.

When Rokkaku woke up, the apartment was quiet too. He was startled at first, not understanding how Masato could have possibly moved while he was asleep, until the scene in the bedroom soon clarified that his human was carried off to bed - almost the way Rokkaku carried him when he was sick as a kid.

"You were never gonna make it as a guardian," he sighed with a soft smile, looking down at Minato sleeping on the floor. "He's two decades too old to be spoiled like this … should have just kicked his ass and told him he'll strain his neck if he doesn't sleep where he's supposed to."

He closed the bedroom door on his way out, and cut the silence short by turning on the coffee machine in the kitchen. There were other things about this morning he could have commented on, but chose not to.

Like Minato's outstretched arm, sloped against the side of the bed.

And Masato's hand resting aimlessly on the mattress above, with fingers slightly parted as if they had been holding on to something not too long ago.

He didn't say anything … but Rokkaku understood some things that morning that the other two didn't yet.

Chapter Text

"I might be a terrible friend."

A few weeks had passed since, but it was all Rokkaku could think about - and on one of his dates with Kaito, it finally boiled over as they lay next to each other in a quiet forest, looking up at the stars.

"That's what you've been worrying about?"

"… you noticed?"

"Yuuta, I love you," Kaito chuckled, kissing his cheek. "Of course I noticed."

"Should have known," Rokkaku sighed, somewhat relieved. "Sorry for making you worry too …"

"It's okay. I knew you'd tell me what's up when you feel like it!"

"I still don't feel like it …" Rokkaku bit his lip. "I just really need someone …"

"I'm right here."

"Yeah …"

He was.

And he would be.

"Yeah, that hits kinda different these days I guess …" Rokkaku aimlessly continued.

"Did you and Minato have a fight again?"

"Ah, no … no, it's not about him," Rokkaku shook his head. "Or maybe, I don't know. But I was thinking about Masato."

"What about him?"

"It's just … I don't know, it might be entirely different for you, I know Adachi's mom is also your first assignment, but … she was already an adult with a life of her own when you met her. And you weren't her first angel."

"Mhm."

"But Masato-"

He forced his mouth closed, feeling his voice crack.

"Yuuta …"

"… I was there for everything. We shared everything!" Rokkaku gasped, unable to hold back tears.

"You did," Kaito nodded, sitting up and pulling Rokkaku into his arms as he wrapped his wings around him as best as he could.

"He's always been my human. And no one's ever- it wasn't ever even close, even after dozens of crushes, no one ever looked his way …"

"Mhm."

"And the truth is, when he gave up, I didn't mind at all. I remember Miyo-san - oh, she was Adachi's guardian before Kurosawa, fuck, it all feels so long ago now - but she was sickened by the prospect, you know, of him never finding a partner, and I tried to sympathize and lend a supportive ear, but I really just couldn't relate, because … because the truth is …"

"You really care about Masato," Kaito smiled, gently rubbing his back.

"Y-Yeah …"

"And you two have so much fun together."

"Yeah …"

"And you met him just after you lost Minato, and even if that got fixed now, for all that time, Masato was your best friend."

"Y-Y- … yeah …"

"And in this world, he always will be."

"Always," Rokkaku nodded, sobbing against Kaito's chest.

Kaito wiped away his tears, nudging his chin up and pulling him into a kiss that didn't even allow for breathing, much less tears.

"… so did he find someone?"

"That's complicated," Rokkaku blurted out, lost in his husband's eyes.

"Okay. So you don't want to have another human?"

"… I think it's worse than that," he sighed, resting his head on Kaito's shoulder. "It's more so … I don't want another- anyone to have him. Or no, actually no, not like that, that sounds horrible! It's not like that … I just … ugh, fucking words …"

"It's okay," Kaito petted his head. "Take your time - we have forever, love."

Rokkaku clenched his fist before slowly relaxing it over Kaito's chest, seeking out the pulse of his heartbeat.

Oh, how beautiful it was to be so ugly in front of someone and still be loved.

"I don't want to not have him," he finally whispered into the night. "I think that's it."

"… Yuuta I am super sorry but I have no clue what you mean."

"It's okay," Rokkaku burst out with a sudden laugh at Kaito's straightforward response. "I just meant that, you know … he said he gave up like eighty seven billion times, and I guess at some point, part of me just believed him, because I've always found comfort in spending another sixty, fifty years with him … like, it wasn't a loss for me. But now I feel like the opposite might be. Like … it's okay if he's with someone else. I just … I want to be there too. I already thought all about how I'll read books for him out loud when he's too old to see … it just feels wrong to not be able to do that one day. I got too attached. That's it."

"I don't think that makes you a terrible friend."

"No … but everything I imagined for us only makes sense if I believe that no one will ever love him. Which wasn't going to be true … you know him, of course it wasn't going to be true. I should have known too. He's just specific, he's not unlovable. So what does it say about me that I just went along with him giving up anyway?"

"… that you have a friend you really like, I guess. I think that's fine."

"I don't know if they'll see it that way when I have to somehow touch on this in my final report …" Rokkaku sighed. "And I don't know if he will see it that way if- when- if it ever comes up, I mean."

Kaito's wings fluttered, opening up so Rokkaku could see the sky again.

"Yuuta, do you ever think how much it took to create us?"

"… no?"

"Well I do. Especially since I've been down here to experience their world first hand … I like to think about how many fragments of human souls were pulled together so that I could exist. It's crazy, isn't it?! It could be millions, we'll never know! But I think about it a lot."

"… okay?"

"And then, you know … sometimes, I think that if you really think about it … we're basically human too," Kaito shrugged, smiling up at the stars. "We're a lot of humans. And we say it's our first assignment down here, but we've lived through this world a million different times already, just so we could exist now. A million different lives. A million different loves - probably more. And they looked at all the best from all of that when they created us, just the way we had to be. So I think, you know … Yuuta, just look at how loving and loyal and committed you are …"

"… t-thanks," Rokkaku blushed as Kaito nudged him into another kiss.

"Whoever you got that from … maybe they, too, just wanted to be there for their friends. Until the end. And yeah, it's terribly human, but … so were we. So I think it's okay."

"When am I gonna start acting like I'm older than you, I wonder …" Rokkaku found himself at a loss for words. "Kaito, that was beautiful."

"No, that's you," Kaito laughed. "What I said was just weird, probably."

"Oh for sure. But it makes me feel better, so … thanks. For letting me feel human, I guess."

"You're welcome. I'm sure Masato would think the same, you know? That it's nice that you care so much. And look - we're already in a human group chat on a human phone with a human who used to be an angel and can still see his angel friends, just like his human husband can. And Masato was the one who made that happen in the first place - so surely, even if you have another assignment to move on to … I'm sure you guys can stay in touch."

"… I wonder if the phones will last that long."

"A little bit of magic to help with the upkeep shouldn't hurt … right?"

"Kaito … what did you do?" Rokkaku raised an eyebrow.

"… dropped it in the water," Kaito mumbled.

"What!?"

"Twice."

"You are a disaster! And here I've been cherishing mine so much," Rokkaku huffed, playfully crossing his arms.

"Well in my defense …" Kaito hummed, slowly closing in on Rokkaku's neck.

"Yeah?"

"… I get too easily distracted by something I cherish so much more," Kaito mused, letting his lips land slowly on Rokkaku's skin.

"Not that I don't like where this is going, but genuinely-" Rokkaku reluctantly pulled back. "How did you drop it in the water twice!?"

"One time, I knocked it over with my wing when I was helping with the dishes, and the other time I wanted to take one of those aesthetic pictures that Kurosawa always sends from Shima-san's cafe, and I dropped it into the tea."

"Damn. They must have created you from some clumsy humans!" Rokkaku laughed.

"And I shall forever thank them," Kaito reached for his hand with a grandiose gesture, slowly bringing it to his lips and kissing the back of it. "For it has enabled me to stumble face-first into the most gorgeous angel in the universe."

"Think you could stumble your face up here?" Rokkaku puckered out his lips.

"You bet," Kaito immediately took him up on that.

Soon, it was Rokkaku enveloping both of them with his wings now.

"… Kaito, how much time do you have?"

"Oh, another four hours for sure. You?"

"However much. Minato's with him."

"Good to know. Your cloud or mine?"

"Let's do yours this time."

Later that morning, Kaito left for work first. But Rokkaku stayed around, indulging the lingering ambiance of their time together as long as he could. And if it meant that Minato and Masato got to spend some more time alone …

…

"… so be it," he quietly reassured himself.