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Under London Lights
The backstage area was a flurry of activity, packed with crew members, PR folks, and the occasional fan who'd managed to wrangle their way inside. The air was thick with anticipation and the usual pre-show jitters. Niall had been through the drill a thousand times, but tonight, his heart was pounding like it was his first gig. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was different, and it wasn't just the usual show-night adrenaline.
He spotted Shawn across the room, leaning casually against a wall, his fingers strumming absentmindedly on an unplugged guitar.
The sight of him always made Niall smile, but tonight, he felt a strange flutter in his chest. Shawn's dark hair was swept back, highlighting the sharp angles of his face, and his eyes were scanning the crowd with an intensity that Niall had never seen before.
As if sensing Niall's gaze, Shawn looked up and their eyes met. Niall raised a hand in a casual wave, but Shawn's expression didn't change. He just watched Niall as he made his way through the crowd, a small smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.
Niall realized he was observing more than looking: the curve of Shawn’s neck, the softness of his hands, the way the backstage light caught the reflections in his hair. It was like seeing a familiar face from a different angle and noticing details you had never seen before.
Niall shrugged off the unsettled feeling and quickened his pace, eager to break the tension.
"Shawn, you're here!" Niall called out as he drew closer, his voice laced with the familiar charm he used with fans and friends alike. Shawn didn't respond immediately, instead he stepped forward, guitar still in hand. Niall offered a handshake, but Shawn ignored it, instead pulling him into a hug.
Niall's breath hitched as he felt Shawn's lean, toned body press against his. It was a friendly hug, nothing more, but it felt different. It felt charged.
“Mate,” Shawn said. “Thanks for coming tonight. And for doing this with me. It means more than I can say.”
Niall let out a laugh that came out tighter than he meant. “Of course. Wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
It was casual, easy—the kind of thing they’d said to each other a hundred times before. But Nil felt the weight of it differently now. There was something in Shawn’s presence that seemed… heightened. The warmth of his hug lingered longer than it should have. The look in his eyes was brighter, deeper. And though neither mentioned what Shawn had once said to the crowd, it hovered quietly between them, like an echo neither dared touch yet.
Onstage
When it was time, Shawn called him out onto the stage. The lights were blinding, the crowd deafening, but for Niall it all blurred into background noise.
They began the song, harmonizing as they had in countless times before. But tonight, every glance felt loaded, every smile carried undertones Niall couldn’t ignore. At one point, when Niall leaned in close to sing into the same mic, their faces were only inches apart. The crowd screamed, interpreting it as stage chemistry, but for Niall it was something else entirely. His pulse quickened, his throat dry.
.....
He stepped offstage after their song, letting Shawn finish the show alone.
He watched the rest of the performance in a trance. Sitting backstage, seeing Shawn command the stage with a newfound confidence, Niall felt a warmth rising from his lower abdomen to his throat. He noticed everything: the way Shawn tilted his head when hitting a tender note, the way his hands moved to punctuate silences, how the light traced the line of his shoulders. Every gesture seemed like a mirror for the thoughts buzzing in his head: what if I… what if I want… what if I’m no longer sure who I am?
He was surprised by the sweetness of those thoughts. He didn’t recognize himself in the rush of impulses — it was slower, more attentive. Every time Shawn glanced at him from the stage and gave a half-smile, something inside Niall stirred: a combination of warmth, fear, excitement. It was a fire that didn’t burn violently but smoldered deep. What excited him most was the possibility of discovering that Shawn really liked him.
.........
When the noise of the arena finally died down, Shawn found him again. “Come on,” he said with a tired grin, leading the way to the dressing room.
Inside, the air was warm and heavy with the scent of sweat, cologne, and stage lights. Shawn kicked off his boots carelessly, then pulled his shirt over his head, revealing skin still flushed from the heat of the stage.
Niall froze. He told himself it wasn’t unusual—he’d seen Shawn shirtless plenty of times. But tonight, with the echoes of the concert still vibrating inside him, it felt different. He couldn’t help noticing the way the light caught the lines of his shoulders, the damp sheen of sweat along his collarbone, the curve of his abdomen as he bent down to grab a towel.
Shawn dropped heavily into a chair, running the towel through his hair before glancing up at Niall. His grin softened into something else—something quieter, more deliberate. “You okay?” he asked, his voice low.
“Yeah,” Niall said quickly, though his chest was tight. “Just… great show.”
Niall watched, his mouth dry.
Shawn's torso wasn’t plastic like magazine covers: it was alive, marked subtly by a night’s work, skin catching the lamp’s light. Niall noticed the small details: the veins in his hands, a nearly invisible scar near his collarbone, the way his skin reacted to the cooler air.
Shawn then remained in underwear: simple, informal, human. Not a pose, not a choice to provoke. Yet seeing him like that stirred something in Niall that wasn’t just physical—it was the awareness that the person in front of him was real, breathing, someone he could touch, someone he could desire.
You’ve seen him like this before. It’s not new.
The thought rang in his head, desperate and unconvincing. Because it was new. Tonight it was. The edges of everything had shifted—what had once been harmless was now unbearably charged.
Shawn sat back down, legs spread loosely, as if inviting the world to look. He reached for a bottle of water, unscrewing the cap with slow precision, then drank. The movement made his throat work, his jawline sharp under the light. Niall's eyes followed helplessly, and when Shawn lowered the bottle, he caught him staring.
A smirk touched his lips. “You’re awfully quiet.”
Niall swallowed. Heat rushed to his face. “Just tired,” he muttered, though his voice betrayed him.
His mind was a storm: the memory of Shawn’s words to the crowd, the charged moment onstage, the way his body seemed to radiate heat even now. He wanted to speak, to explain the tangle of feelings clawing at his chest, but the words refused to come.
Shawn studied him for a long moment, as if weighing a possibility.
Then he got up and stepped closer. “Can I be direct?” he asked. There was no arrogance, only the calm of someone who had thought carefully about his words. Niall nodded, skin tingling.
“I’ve tried a lot of things lately,” Shawn continued, “and I’ve realized… I don’t want to hide anymore." And I don’t want you to feel like you’re being forced into a choice. But—” a thin, sincere smile —“there’s something about you that’s always struck me. I’ve always looked at you differently, even if I couldn’t explain it. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but" he stopped, searching Niall face. “If there’s even a part of you that feels this too… I need to know.”
Niall heart hammered against his ribs. He could feel every inch of his body reacting: the heat crawling up his neck, the tight pull of his chest, the rush of adrenaline that made his hands tremble slightly at his sides.
He thought of Shawn on stage, free and unapologetic. He thought of the way his own stomach had dropped when Shawn leaned into him at the mic, the way his body had lit up like a struck match. He thought of how hard he’d tried to tell himself it was nothing—and how much he wanted to stop pretending.
Niall swallowed hard. His voice, when it came, was unsteady. “You’re… making it very hard not to feel something.”
Niall felt a pressure in his chest. All the reasoning he had made fell like leaves. Instead came a softer truth: curiosity, the desire to explore. “I…” he began, voice cracking. He was scared and happy at the same time. He didn’t have ready words, only a map of sensations. “I don’t know how to define it yet. But I feel something new. Every time I look at you, something moves. And I don’t want to lie to myself.”
Shawn stepped closer, until the distance between them was minimal. They could read each other’s breaths: slow, deep, synchronized as if seeking a shared rhythm.
He’d never felt this way before—this mix of excitement and uncertainty, this pull toward someone that defied everything he thought he knew about himself.
Shawn hands gently reached for Niall' face, fingers brushing the jaw with tenderness that asked permission.
"Can I…?” Shawn trailed off, his eyes searching Niall’s for permission.
Niall nodded, his voice barely a whisper. “Yeah.”
Niall closed his eyes for a second to anchor himself to that gesture.
In one fluid motion, Shawn closed the distance between them, his lips brushing against Niall’s in a tentative kiss. It was soft at first, almost questioning, but soon Shawn deepened it, his hands cupping Niall’s face. The world seemed to melt away—the noise of the backstage crew, the lingering adrenaline from the concert—until it was just the two of them, lost in each other.
Niall’s fingers tangled in Shawn’s hair, pulling him closer as their kiss grew more urgent. Shawn’s tongue slipped into Niall’s mouth, exploring with a hunger that made Niall’s knees weak. He moaned softly, the sound muffled by Shawn’s lips, and felt Shawn smile against him.
He pressed his body against Niall’s, grinding their hips together in a slow, deliberate motion that made Niall gasp, for a moment he had forgot Shawn was already in his underwear, he immediatly move his hands over the other body, feeling the warmth of that perfect body, reacting under his touch.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” Shawn breathed, his voice rough with desire.
“I think I have some idea,” Niall replied, his voice shaky but teasing. He could feel Shawn’s hardness pressing against him, and it sent a thrill through him that he couldn’t ignore. His hands slid down Shawn’s back, gripping his ass and pulling him even closer.
Shawn groaned, his lips trailing down Niall’s neck as he kissed and nipped at the sensitive skin. “You’re driving me crazy,” he whispered, his breath hot against Niall’s ear. “I want you so bad, Niall.”
Niall’s head fell back against the wall, his entire body trembling with need. “Then take me,” he said, his voice raw with want.
Shawn didn’t need to be told twice.
Shawn’s hands trembled slightly as they fumbled with Niall’s belt, his fingers brushing against the taut fabric of his jeans. His eyes never left Niall’s, the intensity between them crackling like a live wire. The air backstage was thick with anticipation, the muffled sounds of the crowd fading into a distant hum. Niall’s breath hitched as Shawn finally undid the buckle, sliding the leather free with a deliberate slowness that made Niall’s pulse race.
“Tell me to stop,” Shawn murmured, his voice low and husky, though his eyes betrayed his desire for anything but. His hands hovered at the waistband of Niall’s jeans, waiting for permission, for a sign.
Niall’s lips curved into a sly grin, his blue eyes darkening with want. “Don’t you dare,” he whispered, his voice rough with need. His heart pounded in his chest, every nerve in his body alight.
Shawn didn’t hesitate. He dropped to his knees, the movement fluid and confident, his hands sliding up Niall’s thighs as he settled between his legs. The heat of Shawn’s breath ghosting over the thin fabric of Niall’s briefs sent a shiver up his spine. Niall braced one hand against the wall behind him, the other tangling in Shawn’s dark hair, tugging lightly as if to anchor himself.
Shawn nuzzled against the growing bulge in Niall’s briefs, inhaling deeply, savoring the scent of him. “Fuck, you smell amazing,” he muttered, his voice muffled against the fabric. His hands gripped Niall’s hips, pulling him closer until their bodies were flush, and Niall could feel the heat radiating from Shawn even through their clothes.
With practiced ease, Shawn hooked his fingers into the waistband of Niall’s briefs and tugged them down, freeing his hard length. Niall gasped as the cool air hit his heated skin, the sensation only heightening the ache coursing through him. Shawn’s eyes darkened as he took him in, his lips parting slightly as if in awe.
“You’re fucking perfect,” Shawn breathed, his voice thick with desire. He leaned in, his tongue darting out to trace a slow, teasing line along the length of Niall’s cock. Niall groaned, his head thumping back against the wall, his fingers tightening in Shawn’s hair.
Shawn didn’t waste any more time. He wrapped his lips around the tip, sucking gently, his tongue swirling in lazy circles that had Niall’s knees threatening to buckle. Niall’s breath came in ragged gasps, his hips twitching forward involuntarily, craving more of the electrifying sensations Shawn was unleashing on him.
“Shawn—” Niall choked out, his voice trembling with desperation. His grip on Shawn’s hair tightened, urging him on, though Shawn needed no encouragement. He sank down further, taking more of Niall into his mouth, the wet heat of it driving Niall wild.
Shawn’s hands roamed up Niall’s torso, fingertips brushing over his abs before sliding around to grip his ass. He pulled him deeper still, swallowing around him, the vibrations sending shockwaves of pleasure through Niall’s body. Niall’s moans grew louder, unrestrained now, his hips moving in sync with Shawn’s rhythm.
The sight of Shawn on his knees, those dark eyes gazing up at him with such hunger, was almost too much for Niall to bear. He tangled both hands in Shawn’s hair now, guiding him faster, harder, his body trembling with the effort to hold back. “You feel so good,” he groaned, his voice breaking. “So fucking good.”
Shawn hummed around him, the sound vibrating through Niall’s core and threatening to unravel him completely. He could feel the tension coiling tighter and tighter inside him, his body teetering on the edge of release. But he didn’t want this to end—not yet.
With a ragged breath, Niall pulled Shawn off him, dragging him to his feet with a desperate urgency. Their lips crashed together in a searing kiss, teeth clashing, tongues tangling. Niall’s hands roamed over Shawn’s body, slipping under his shirt to feel the warmth of his skin, the taut muscles beneath.
Shawn broke the kiss with a gasp, his chest heaving. “I need you,” he whispered, his voice raw with need. He reached for his own underwear, his hands shaking almost as much as Niall’s had earlier.
Niall pushed Shawn’s hands away, taking control as he slid his boxers down. His breath caught at the sight of Shawn’s cock, hard and flushed with need. He wrapped his hand around it, giving it a slow, teasing stroke that had Shawn biting his lip hard enough to leave a mark.
“Fuck,” Shawn hissed, his hips jerking forward into Niall’s touch. His hands flew to Niall’s shoulders, gripping tight as if to steady himself. “You’re going to kill me.”
Niall smirked, leaning in to nip at Shawn’s earlobe. “Not yet,” he whispered, his breath hot against Shawn’s skin. He gave him another languid stroke, savoring the way Shawn’s body trembled under his touch.
Shawn turned abruptly, pressing Niall against the wall again and capturing his lips in another bruising kiss. His hands roamed down Niall’s back, stopping just above his ass as he pulled away to murmur against his mouth, “I want to feel you inside me.”
Niall’s eyes widened slightly at the request, his breath hitching. “Are you sure?” he asked, though his body was already screaming yes.
Shawn nodded without hesitation, his dark eyes burning with intensity. “I’ve never been more sure of anything,” he said firmly. He reached down between them, taking both their cocks in his hand and giving them a slow stroke that had them both gasping for air.
Niall’s hands moved to Shawn’s hips, gripping them tightly as he pressed their bodies together. “Turn around,” he murmured, his voice low and commanding. Shawn obeyed instantly, turning to face the wall and bracing himself with one hand while reaching back with the other to guide Niall closer.
Niall pressed against him, the tip of his cock nudging at Shawn’s entrance before slowly pushing inside. Both men groaned in unison, the sensation overwhelming them completely.
Niall hesitated for a moment, his hands still gripping Shawn’s hips, his cock buried deep inside him. He could feel the heat radiating from Shawn’s body, the way his muscles tightened around him, urging him to move. But he wanted to savor this, to make sure he didn’t rush, didn’t miss a single sensation.
Shawn, however, had no such patience. He reached back with one hand, fingers digging into Niall’s thigh as he pushed himself back against him. “Come on, Niall,” he growled, his voice ragged with need. “Don’t make me beg.”
Niall’s breath hitched at the sound of his name on Shawn’s lips, the way it sounded like a demand and a plea all at once. He leaned forward, his chest pressing against Shawn’s back as he began to move, his hips rocking slowly at first, testing the waters. But Shawn wasn’t having it. He pushed back again, harder this time, and Niall groaned as the sensation shot through him like a bolt of electricity.
“Fuck,” Niall muttered under his breath, his grip tightening on Shawn’s hips as he picked up the pace. His thrusts became more urgent, more deliberate, each one driving him deeper into Shawn, who let out a low moan that only spurred Niall on.
“Yes,” Shawn breathed, his head dropping forward as he braced himself against the wall. “Just like that.”
Niall could feel the heat building between them, the way their bodies moved together like they were made for this, like they’d been waiting for this moment for years. He reached up, his fingers tangling in Shawn’s dark hair as he pulled him back against his chest, their bodies pressed together so tightly they were practically one.
“You feel so fucking good,” Niall whispered into Shawn’s ear, his voice rough with desire. He could feel every inch of Shawn’s body against his, every shuddering breath, every pulse of heat as he moved inside him.
Shawn’s response was a soft whimper, his hands scrambling against the wall as he tried to keep himself steady. “Harder,” he gasped, his voice barely audible over the sound of their ragged breathing. “Please, Niall… harder.”
Niall didn’t need to be told twice. He tightened his grip on Shawn’s hips, his thrusts becoming faster, more forceful, each one driving Shawn further into the wall. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room, mixed with their heavy breaths and the occasional moan that escaped their lips.
Shawn reached back again, his fingers digging into Niall’s thigh as he urged him on. “Don’t stop,” he pleaded, his voice cracking with desperation. “Don’t you dare stop.”
Niall could feel the tension building in his own body, the heat coiling in his stomach as he thrust into Shawn over and over again. He could tell Shawn was close too—could feel the way his body tensed, the way his breath hitched with every movement. He leaned forward again, his lips brushing against Shawn’s ear as he whispered, “I’m not going anywhere.”
Shawn shuddered at the words, his hands clutching at the wall as Niall continued to pound into him. The room seemed to fade away, leaving nothing but the two of them, their bodies moving together in perfect rhythm.
“I can’t—” Shawn started, his voice breaking as he struggled to form the words. “I’m gonna—”
“Let go,” Niall urged, his own voice strained with need. “Just let go.”
And with that, Shawn did. He cried out, his whole body trembling as he came, waves of pleasure crashing over him as Niall continued to thrust into him, chasing his own release. It didn’t take long—the feeling of Shawn tightening around him, the way his body shuddered with every movement, was enough to push Niall over the edge. With a low groan, he buried himself deep inside Shawn, his hips jerking as he came.
For a moment, they stayed like that, their bodies pressed together as they caught their breath. Then, slowly, Niall pulled out, his hands still gripping Shawn’s hips as he guided him to turn around and face him.
Shawn looked up at him, his dark eyes glazed with satisfaction, a lazy smile playing on his lips. “That was…” he started, pausing as if searching for the right word. “Fucking incredible.”
Niall grinned, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of Shawn’s face. “Yeah,” he agreed softly. “It was.”
But before either of them could say anything else, Shawn leaned in, pressing his lips to Niall’s in a slow, hungry kiss that left them both breathless once again. When they finally pulled apart, Shawn’s eyes were shining with something new—something that made Niall’s heart race.
“Round two?” Shawn asked, his voice low and teasing.