Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

So much had happened in the last year it amazed Hide that they had managed to survive it all. After the whole search and rescue to get Kaneki out of that extremely dangerous, albeit very gross, kagune mass, it was hard getting used to just how calm things could be. If you asked Hide what his daily schedule was, the majority of it would be to worry about his best friend. That part has stayed pretty much the same, despite how others have changed so drastically.

One of the positives was his relationship with his best friend. It was pretty clear to literally all of their mutual friends that Hide felt feelings for Kaneki that reached beyond being strictly platonic. He'd known too for quite a long time actually, ever since they were children he's practically been doomed to have strong feelings for the other. You could blame the universe for this one. (Not that he would, Hide would most likely still love him, with or without the universe's help) even if his feelings were never returned in the same way he didn't mind– just having the other alive is a miracle on its own.

But still.

Hide couldn't stop the fondness from rushing into his chest or the warmth in his heart whenever his eyes landed on the other man. It's on days like this when the ache in his chest truly felt all too heavy to bear. Days when they spend time alone, just like they did years ago when things were simple and easy. Those days were taken for granted, he always knew that Kaneki would always be by his side. Naturally, with the years in between that they spent apart, that feeling has faded. Every moment Hide spends with Kaneki could always be their last.

But he couldn't spend all his time worrying about the future and dwelling on the past! Time was of the essence and he's already running late for his meet up with Kaneki. They barely had time to spend with each other with just how busy they both were. A quick glance at his wrist watch told him he was already cutting it pretty close. The two of them had agreed on meeting up at around 11:00 and he wanted to be as early as humanly possible. He'd been too late before–the least he could do is show up on time. Not that he had time to dwell on the past.

He spared his watch on more glance just to make sure he had enough time before swiftly grabbing his keys from the counter and rushing out the door. The place that they mutually agreed on was fortunately only a 20 minute walk away which would only make him 5 or so minutes late. But this was Kaneki he was talking about! It's not like he was going to hang out with just anyone. Maybe if he ran the whole way through it'd maybe, possibly, hopefully make a difference, but even if he was tardy he couldn't just stand up his friend. Showing up late would be better than not going entirely.

With hands as clumsy as his, of course it took him more time than necessary to lock the door. ‘Stupid keys, always slowing me down.’ When he turned around to face away from the door, a sharp breeze hit him square in the face. He let out a yelp as he quickly brought his hands up to protect his face from the strong burst of wind. Seconds later when the strong breeze, if you could even call it that, subsided and he wasted no time in grabbing his fallen keys from the ground. Hide had forgotten just how low the temperature was able to go in the winter months. The memory of Kaneki warning him about it popped into his head. Maybe it was time he took his advice to heart. It was certainly backfiring on him for not following the others advice. The simple hoodie and shorts he threw on earlier wouldn't cut it.

There wasn't enough time to change his entire outfit without wasting even more time, but he could spare a few moments to grab some random jacket from the closet closest to the entrance. “Damn it, can't believe I forgot my jacket...” He grumbled. “Just another inconvenience slowing me down, geez I really need to get it together.” Even more time had already been wasted. Today was definitely not his best.

Hide stumbled down the flight of stairs of the apartment building while simultaneously attempting to wrestle the jacket on. He looked down at the watch, noting that he was now at least 10 minutes late. There's also no chance of Kaneki being late either, a habit that he had developed a number of years ago, he couldn't remember. After rounding a few corners and narrowly avoiding bumping into other people on the sidewalk , the location was finally in view. Hide sped up his pace and wasted no time in entering the establishment, causing the bell above his head to make a small jingle sound.

The place held a very warm and comfortable air within itself; Hide could already feel himself start to relax, bit by bit. A quick once over of the place confirmed the presence of Kaneki. He was already seated in a booth situated in the back side of the Cafe, and to absolutely no one's surprise, neck deep into a book with far too many pages to plausibly worry about.

He walked over quickly, taking his seat across from the other. Kaneki jumped when Hide took his seat, half startled to death.

“Hide! You're finally here. I've been waiting ages.” He placed the book on the side of their table. “ I almost thought you'd forgotten to set an alarm or something.” Thankfully his tone held no malice. Of course he found this amusing.

Hide rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “ I swear that's not the case! One thing led to another and sure, maybe my alarm did forget to set itself, but at least I'm here right?”Hide said, not sounding very sure of himself. Kaneki didn't look very convinced but he shrugged it off. ”Whatever you say Hide, I'm sure your alarm will remember next time.” Hide couldn't help but laugh. He's glad Kaneki wasn't upset with him.

Kaneki sipped from his presumable cup of coffee before looking down at the menu in front of Hide.” So are you gonna order anything or did your stomach forget to inform you about that too?”

“Hey, I'm capable of telling myself when I'm hungry, quit your teasing. Hide picked the piece of paper with a grumble. It's not like he was starving, so it'd be best to go for something small. After he decided what we wanted he waved down one of the waitresses and told her his order of just one blueberry muffin.

While they waited for his order the two of them took the time to simply catch up with one another. It'd been too long since they could just sit and talk to each other about mindless and random things. It reminded him of their days at Kami when they would finish the day off at some cozy cafe. Once his food arrived a comfortable silence fell over them. Fortunately he made the right choice in ordering the muffin, his sweet tooth was greatly satisfied!

As he shoved the muffin into his mouth, surely making a mess, his thoughts drifted back to his earlier predicament. The said predicament just happened to be sitting face to face with him in real time. Hide was still contemplating whether or not this was a good thing or not. While he clearly understood and accepted his feelings for Kaneki he still had no idea how the other would react.

Scratch that, he knew exactly how he'd react.

‘He'd probably try to be extra nice about it….’ He thought dimly. Hide knew the thought of actually confessing wasn't very smart, he'd spent enough years silently pining after Kaneki, what was another lifetime compared to it? He sighed woefully at the thought, probably for the millionth time or so just this week.

Across the table Kaneki didn't miss his change in demeanor.”I know it's been a while and that we should keep our conversation lighthearted, but you've been kind of down lately and I'm worried about you.” He turned his gaze away, avoiding eye contact. “What's gotten you so distracted?”

‘Ugh kill me now.’ He needs to get his act together immediately. If it was bad enough for Kaneki to notice he clearly needed an outlet for these feelings. One that wouldn't reveal anything too close to the truth. He let out another sigh as he rested his cheek on the back side of his hand. “ It's nothing really I promise, it's just that I've been thinking reaaaalllyy hard about something and I honestly don't know what to do about it.”

Kaneki shot him a puzzled look. “Well what's been on your mind?” The other asked curiously. That question was obvious from a mile away but he still didn't have anything reasonable to say. “It's nothing really, I promise! I've just been ti–

‘BRRRING!’

Before he could finish his rather poor excuse he was saved by Kaneki's phone going off. What a crazy coincidence! He watched as Kaneki quickly snatched the phone from the bookbag before successfully answering it. From the sound of it the person had urgent news. Hide noted the way Kaneki's eyes drew together. Boom! His lively look of ease disappeared just like that. It was disappointing; Kaneki wasn't one to relax often so when it did happen it was important to keep it that way. Unfortunately he could do anything this time.

Although he was bummed out about Kaneki's down turned expression he was secretly glad that it got him out of having to tell some poor excuse to him. Not that he'd believe it, he knows for a fact that Kaneki would keep poking until he got the truth. A minute or so later he ended the call and placed the phone down. He looked tired for the most part.

“Hide, I'm really sorry, but I'm needed at TSC, something really urgent came up…” His tone was clearly apologetic..

Hide simply brushed off the apology,” Don't worry about it man, duty calls. I can't keep the people's king all to myself.” He smiled bashfully while keeping the relief out of his voice. Kaneki's face changed from apologetic to exasperated.

“Ha ha, very funny Hide. As your king I suppose it'd be gracious of me to pay for your meal as well?" He was already pulling out a few bills from his wallet that was stashed away a second ago. Hide tapped his chin playfully, pretending to decide whether or not to accept. Naturally after so many years of knowing him Hide knew he wouldn't take no for an answer, it was best to just accept . He let Kaneki drop the money onto the table. “Well I suppose I'll just have to take the money, oh faithful King.” He teased back easily.

Kaneki let out a sigh of his own, still without any real malice behind it. He hastily stuffed the wallet into his bookbag, double checking that he had everything. When he was sure he had everything he stood from his seat.

‘I promise I'll make it up to you one of these days Hide, I really do.” Those words meant a lot to Hide. More than Kaneki would ever realize. “ Don't worry about me, I'll be fine without you! Besides you've left me with so much money I don't have any idea what to do with it! He cheered, staring at the crumpled up 20 collar bill in front of him. The other mumbled quietly under his breath, “Yeah, yeah, be grateful I even gave you anything.”

And just like that, he was already walking away. It seems like this is happening to Hide more often than not. He waved at his friend's retreating back, not having anything better to do. It'd be better to go home and wallow about his feelings rather than do it in a public setting. He used the money to pay for his food and swiftly left the Cafe feeling somewhat lost.

He always had other opportunities to say something about it so nothing to worry about!

Probably.

Chapter Text

It's been around 2 weeks since Hide's failed attempt at confessing his feelings to Kaneki. By now he'd already accepted the reality of it and didn't care if Kaneki rejected him. Keeping all these feelings bottled up wasn't helping anyone, especially not himself. Besides, he wasn't known to give up on much of anything.

Since their last hangout at the cafe 2 weeks ago he'd manage to get his thoughts in line. Another opportunity had miraculously appeared and he was not going to back down. TSC was holding a fundraising event and both Hide and Kaneki just happened to be attending(they were both prominent members, they had to be there). As soon as Kaneki found out about it he'd asked Hide to come over so the two of them could get ready and go together.

Hide naturally said yes, something had to be very wrong with him if he said anything else. And if he was being completely honest here, he would still say yes with or without his plan in mind. He didn't want a repeat of last time so he rushed to find the perfect outfit. He still had at least an hour and a half til the event actually started but he still needed to head over to Kaneki's apartment. It wasn't that great of a distance so he wasn't worried about being late.

His closet wasn't the tidiest of places, things he'd forgotten about were shoved to the very back, including the suit he was supposed to wear today. Kaneki had pressured him into buying it, something about an important event popping up and him not having anything to wear. Luckily it had only been bought around 2 or 3 months ago, so the condition was still pretty good. It wasn't anything special; just a simple black suit with a white button down and tie. It still felt pretty strange to him, owning something like this. Compared to his other clothes it looked quite odd. Even when he used to work for the CCG he kept his outfits on the more casual side. But then again, considering his time with them Kaneki was probably used to it.

Speaking of Kaneki, he was probably waiting for Hide right now! He stuffed the suit into his bag along with whatever else he needed, he could just get dressed at Kaneki's place. He had more than enough time but it'd be best if got there early, you never know what could happen after all. Minutes later he tugged on a fluffy jacket and headed out the door. Not before slipping on his bright orange sneakers he thought the suit needed a bit of color to make it stand out, plus a nice personal touch never killed anyone.

*

20 or so minutes later he arrived at Kaneki's place, with no time wasted. It was hard believing that he had made it in time with nothing interfering during his walk here– ‘hmm, this doesn't feel right. Things are going a little too well.’ He ignored the thought, opting to just knock on the door. It was best to just be thankful and move on, no point in questioning anything positive.

On the other side of the door stood Kaneki–beautiful, radiant, Kaneki. It never failed to surprise Hide just how well Kaneki could look in anything that wasn't an oversized sweater. He wore a suit that was similar to Hide's in color but with gold accents barely visible on the lapels. Not to mention the matching gold tie. All in all, he was a very handsome guy indeed. Before he could even say anything though, he was already being dragged in by the other who, just by his facial expression alone , was clearly stressing out over something.

“Hide, I've been waiting forever, where have you been?” He continued to pull Hide deeper into his cozy apartment, stubbornly set on grasping Hide's hand with his own. While the contact could be seen as a friendly gesture it still made him sweat a little. Usually he was the one initiating physical touch, but turns out a lot of things have been happening the other way around lately.

“There really isn't anything to worry about Kaneki, at least I'm here..?” He shot what he hoped was a charming smile, but Kaneki wasn't affected by it at all. Instead of entertaining him with a response Kaneki pushed Hide down onto his mattress. Hide glanced around the room curiously, it'd been a hot minute since his last time here, some things have changed and some hadn't. Besides, Kaneki was still rushing about, it wouldn't hurt to look around. The picture frames hung up on the wall were a new addition. Some of them dated back to when they were just children and others from just a few years ago.

His own smiling face next to Kaneki's was the subject of most of them. Some included the old gang from Anteiku or even his so-called ‘kids’ from his time with the CCG. It was nice knowing he still held on to the memories of all the people he's become close with. Hide has to admit, when Kaneki was first starting to work at Anteiku he was a tad bit jealous– he was used to them being each other's only friends, so he felt somewhat neglected. It was a silly thing to think, he knows, but he was bound to change. And he has! So many of the friends he's made along the way are so different and special in their own right, he's glad he gets to share them with Kaneki.

Kaneki stumbled back into the room with something in hand, a hair brush, more accurately.

“I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my own hair,
there's no reason for you to break out your secret stash of hairbrushes. Besides, it looks fine the way it is!” Hide argued.

“Hide.” He paused in the door frame.”There's no way I'm letting you out like that. Maybe if you can prove it to me I'll believe you, but until then I'll be the one taking care of this. ” He vaguely gestured at Hide's head. He ignored Hide’s protests and instead went straight for his hair. He hated to admit it but he was long over due for a hair cut– it's not that he doesn't want to go, he just hasn't had the time. But Kaneki sure as hell did.

He quickly got to work, gently tugging at his strands with the brush. It didn't take long but the silence was noticeable, Kaneki was hyper focused on getting his hair to look up to his own standards. Now was a great opportunity to tell the other about his true feelings.

“So Kaneki, I've gotta know, have you found any special someone lately?” He questioned. “I'm just a bit curious, considering how shy you used to be back then.” He teased, tilting his head slightly to the side.

Hide flinched at the sharp tug at his scalp.“Well Hide, as matter of fact, I have been talking to someone. People do change, you know.” He replied with a smirk on his face.

What.

Well that was unexpected. . “Wait Kaneki, are you serious? I was just kidding, I didn't think you actually had!”
Kaneki laughed, the fucker,” I'm just joking Hide, I don't have time to date, you know that, besides what does it matter to you? Are you jealous?” He felt his face grow warm, there wasn't a single doubt in his mind that tried to tell him his face wasn't tinged red from embarrassment. Luckily for him, Kaneki was still occupied with his hair.

“ I'm not jealous! I'm just curious y'know, since someone I know happens to be interested in you, silly.” He steered the conversation away from himself. He couldn't afford to say anything about it now; His mind was too erratic.

Suddenly a sharp knocking sound resonated from the other side of the apartment.

Kaneki set the scissors down and went to answer the front door, who the hell could that be? As far as Hide knew he was the only one Kaneki had invited over. Seconds later he could hear voices coming from outside the door. He might as well go see who it is. He stood up from the bed and made his way over to the door. Standing in the living area was none other than Nishiki and Touka. The two of them looked great of course, Nishiki in a light grey suit and Touka in a lengthy dark blue dress.

Don't get him wrong, he loved seeing them! They were amongst his closest friends, but this was the second time he'd been interrupted and he was getting tired of it.

“ Yo, Touka, Nishio! What are you guys doing here?” Hide said as he walked further into the room. Kaneki was the one to reply instead,” I actually invited them over too, I guess I was too distracted to inform you. Apologies for the unexpected guests…” He said as he0 rubbed the back of his neck ruefully.

Touka simply bumped him against the shoulders,” It's fine, I'm sure you guys weren't up to anything too important.” She shot Hide a knowing look, she definitely knew about his little crush on Kaneki. He'd lost count of how many times she'd attacked him about it. Nishiki wasn't that off about it either. They probably gossiped about how pitiful his pining was together, it wasn't a totally unreasonable guess.

“Well, when are we getting outta here? I don't want to be late just because you two are too busy having a sleepover.” Of course Nishio was eager to go, he was probably just excited to meet up with Kimi. Whenever he saw her at their headquarters Nishio was the topic of most conversations. He had no idea how someone as…cynical as Nishio could bag such a sweet girl. Surprises do happen from time to time don't they?

The clock on the wall told him they had at least 35 minutes before they even had to be there! It was definitely Kimi. He decided against commenting on it though, who knew what kind of nasty comment Nishio might reveal just to get back at him.

Kaneki, as stressed out as he was, agreed with Nishio for some odd reason.“ Yes I know, just give me a second to put everything away. In the meantime you guys can just have a seat. I promise I won't be long.” And just like that he disappeared into the bedroom.

Hide let out a deep sigh as he took a seat. This caught Nishio's attention. “What's got your panties in a bunch? You've been all gloom and doom ever since we got here.” He raised an eyebrow at the others, from the look of expectation on her face Touka had also noticed his strange behavior. “Nothing's wrong guys, I'm just tired, I swear.” They both stared at him blankly; clearly not believing a word he said.

This time it was Touka who spoke up.” Listen Nagachika, everyone knows about your little gay boy crush on Kaneki, so there's no point in hiding it.” She finished with an accusatory finger pointing right at him. He quickly signaled for them to keep their voices down with a finger in front of his mouth and a harsh Shhh. There was no way he was gonna let anyone but himself inform Kaneki about his predicament. “ Can you guys keep it down? In case you hadn't noticed I had no idea you guys were even coming here, this was the perfect opportunity for me to tell him and now it's too late!”

“Yeah well if we'd known we wouldn't have come over. Plus your pretty fucking obvious about it so I'm not sure how he hasnt figured it out yet.” Nishio replied swiftly.

From behind him Kaneki popped his head around the corner. “ Know what?” Hide's heart skipped a beat. He whirled around and quickly stood up. “Nothing! These two were just telling me about work, we were just catching up.” He chuckled nervously. If Kaneki found anything suspicious about his answer he didn't let it show on his face. “Oh well if you guys are ready we can head out. I'm all done here.” When he stepped out fully Hide couldn't help but swoon a little. He said it before and he'll say it again; Kaneki looked amazing. The clean and smooth cuts of the suit really did things to him. But his mood soured a bit because of what happened earlier. The perfect opportunity came to him perfectly and he blew it!

Not that it was his fault or anything, he just felt like a loser. Of course they would always be there chances but he wanted to get it over with. Could you really even blame him? It's been years.

He’ll just have to figure it out later. For the time being, he had a fundraiser to get to.

Chapter Text

Hide was stuck.

He was beginning to think this whole confession thing wasn't worth it anymore. His last two attempts were pathetic and he wasn't sure what he was going to do for the third one. He thought and thought and thought until he simply couldn't anymore. Plus it made his head hurt even more. Hide had no elaborate plan to follow and it sucked.

And to add on top of that he was also bedridden with some stupid cold he'd gotten from who knows where. So yeah, he's not doing too well. The only upside to this whole situation was the time he got to spend with Kaneki. The fundraiser had been great too, he couldn't remember how much they'd raised but he knew it was well over the anticipated amount. That was a week ago so he didn't have anything to be happy about now. All he could really do was binge horrible movies until he could stand without getting dizzy. Getting a glass of water from the kitchen was practically an impossible feat so he wasn't planning on doing that anytime soon, but he could reach for his phone on the bedside drawer. He flinched at the bright screen as it assaulted his sensitive eyes, quickly tapping on it to turn it down. Most of the notifications were benign, nothing that needed his attention too badly. But at the bottom was a missed call from the man that was unknowingly stressing him out. The call was from an hour ago, right around the time he fell asleep.

“Huh, probably called when I was asleep.” He mumbled into his pillow, miserable. It wouldn't hurt to call back, besides, maybe hearing Kaneki's voice would make him feel better. He grabbed a few stray pillows off the floor and placed one of them behind his head. The rest, he placed around him in a circle, sort of like a nest. If he had to suffer he'd do it as comfortably as possible. Once he felt the arrangement was perfect he dialed Kaneki's number. It only took three rings before he picked up.

On the other end Kaneki's soothing voice spoke,” Hello? Hide, why didn't you tell me you were sick? I've been trying to reach you for hours!”

Woops.

He winced back from the phone; he had a really annoying headache that he just so happened to forget about. It was one of those headaches that only took over the right side of his head. Hide turned the phone over to his left ear, hoping to relieve the pain in his head. “I was going to! I just….forgot. ”It wasn't the best excuse ever, but it was all he could come up with. ”Besides, it's really not that bad, I can take care of it myself.”

Kaneki wasn't going to take ‘I forgot’ as an excuse, so naturally he resorted to lecturing him.” Hide, you're not fine, you sound horrible.” On the other side of the phone Hide groaned,” Kaneki, don't be mean to me, I'm fine, really!” Seconds after he uttered those cursed words his throat decided to kill him by hacking up the worst coughs he'd had in a while. He dropped the phone on the bed while trying to reach for his water. His fingers brushed it, ultimately causing it to tumble to the ground.

This seemed to be Kaneki's final straw, based on the loud sigh that resonated from his phone. When had he put it on speaker? It must've happened when he dropped it. “That's it, I'm definitely coming over.” Before he could retaliate Kaneki had already hung up the phone. Great, he was basically dying, Kaneki was pissed at him, and his silly boy crush was ruining everything else. Things were just fantastic.

Moving wasn't really an option for him so he decided to just lay and wait for the inevitable instead. The light spilling through the thin curtains from the bright sun wasn't helping his headache, but at this point he couldn't find the will to get up to drag them closed .All he could do was cling to his influx of pillows and stare out the window. Closing his eyes was the next best thing he could do, he thought absent-mindedly as he felt the pull of sleep drag him away.

He must've dozed off because the next time he opened his eyes it was to the sound of the front door closing. By now the pain in his head had subsided so he had less trouble moving around. What it didn't stop was the dizzy spell that got the better of him when he rose from the bed. It didn't make the chills go away either but that didn't stop him from stubbornly making his way to his modestly sized living room. On the other side of the room stood Kaneki with his back turned towards Hide. He wore a long-sleeved black shirt that had no right being that tight and matching black sweatpants. Hide was not ashamed to admit how the shirt alone made him feel. He had a well built immunity against being embarrassed about his thoughts.

When Kaneki turned around the immediate rush of warmth spread through Hide's chest as if it were natural to feel this way about another living person. He looked worried, really worried, but breathtakingly beautiful at the same time. It failed to amaze Hide how much emotion filled his eyes all the time, it had been like that for as long as they'd known each other.

Geez, he really was a goner.

“Hide, how are you feeling?” The other approached him hastily, coming to a stop right in front of him. Kaneki reached over and placed a cool hand on his forehead. “Hmmm, you don't have a fever, but you're still pretty warm…”

“It's best for you to still rest y'know, you look tired.” Kaneki then tugged Hide to the couch, gesturing for him to sit down. Once he was satisfied he turned towards the last door on the left,promptly disappearing into his bedroom, probably raiding his closet for more blankets and pillows. Hide grabbed the remote, switching through the channels. Hopefully something good would come on but he doubted it. Watching bad movies was a common activity that they did together so it was fine. The pillow beneath him suffered from his tight hold as he hugged it tightly against his chest. Hugging things close brought a small amount of comfort to him. It reminds him of Kaneki and how comfortable they used to be together. He let out a rather loud sigh as he contemplated their current relationship. They still hugged and occasionally held hands but he could still see the way Kaneki hesitated before touching him in any kind of way. If Hide had his way, Kaneki would be touching him in all sorts of places but that's not how things worked unfortunately.

A few moments passed before Kaneki emerged from the room. Hide made the naive mistake of thinking Kanekei would simply set the blankets down gently right beside him. Looks like he was still a little bugged about Hide not telling him about his current state. It's not like he expected to be tucked in with a kiss( on the forehead or anything, but he should still cut him some slack! He could barely breathe for God's sake. He shoved at least three of the pillows off, how did he manage to get so many of them??

Kaneki probably used his freaky ghoul tentacles to grab at least some of them, with the blankets and all. Based on his facial expression alone he was definitely still peeved about his lack of communication. Hide squirmed under his sharp gaze until Kaneki relented. “Since somebody obviously can't seem to take care of themselves, I'll just have to stay here until they can.” He tried to act tough and mighty, but Hide could sense the amusement in his voice.

A few of the many pillows fell on the floor earlier but Hide felt too queasy to retrieve them on his own. Kaneki grabbed them easily, then surprised Hide by climbing into the mess of blankets with him. He used one arm to make sure the softest one was properly laying on Hide's shoulder. Then he pulled his legs up close to his chest until they could go no further. Hide's body slowly inched closer into the other's side, closer than he would usually allow under regular circumstances but could barely think straight, let alone move properly.

The two of them ended up watching bad horror movies until the sun began to set. Since the windows were slightly open the orange hues from the sun lit up the house rather nicely. It made the stark white of Kaneki's hair look warmer, which made Hide want to mess it up even more. He liked the ay Kaneki's face relaxed when he was sleeping. It may sound kind of creepy but he didn't care, he was glad his friend could find some peace in his dreams.

By now they were completely wrapped around one another. During the duration of the last movie they'd both manage to spread out across the couch with Hide basically laying on Kaneki's chest. Even though he was asleep he still had his arms tightly across Hide's back. Yeah, he was definitely not getting up any time soon. He didn't mind being trapped in Kaneki's arms, it made him feel safe.

As the end credits for whatever movie was on were rolling, Hide felt his own eyelids beginning to feel heavy. It wouldn't hurt to have a little nap, besides, Kaneki had already started without him. Might as well catch up.

He wakes up slowly, relaxed and extremely warm. Not an unbearable amount of warmth but just the right amount that made him feel like falling asleep again. He yawns loudly as he shoves the blankets off of himself. Looking around, it was clear that someone had moved a few things around. It was tidier and more organized than usual. Plus, Kaneki was missing! He blushed at the memory of them sleeping in such close proximity together, that one was definitely going in the vault for later. Anyway, pushing his perverted tendencies aside, finding Kaneki was his top priority. Thanking him for cleaning up the place and keeping him company was the least he could do after all. Besides, his headache from earlier was completely gone now, only leaving him with an empty stomach and a stuffy nose.

He began to notice other things too as his brain got used to being awake again. It was dark outside, based on the lack of sunlight pouring in through the windows. Not to mention the fact that the curtains were drawn together in the middle. He never closed the curtains, just the blinds, never the curtains. It didn't have anything to do with any sort of crazy superstition or anything, he was just used to it being that way. He made sure to pull them open as he walked by.

A delicious aroma wafted through the air, filling the house with its delicious spell. The sound of soft humming drew him to the fairly small kitchen. He almost tripped and fell on the way but he didn't care. Dying would be better than waiting another second to reach the mouth watering smell.

He peeked his head around the corner to find Kaneki over a pot of mystery food on the stove. By the looks of it, it was almost ready. Kaneki must have heard him, judging by how fast he turned in Hide's direction. “Hide, you're finally awake, how do you feel?” He asked.

Hide sauntered over to Kaneki, standing behind him to lend his head against his shoulder.”I feel way better! I think taking that nap really helped me out.” Kaneki said nothing, keeping his eyes on the stove. He reached over to grab a white bowl from on the left side, how he managed to find all these utensils and ingredients, he had no idea, not that he was complaining. He himself could barely remember where he kept everything so Kaneki knowing for him was a godsend.

“I hope you're hungry, making this soup wasn't easy, considering how bare the pantry is.” He said, smirking back at Hide. Hide pinched him in return, since when was Kaneki so damn sassy? The other simply stuck his tongue out at him. The clock on the stove told him that he'd been asleep for at least three hours if he was counting correctly. Yeesh, looks like all he really needed was a big nap. That didn't mean he was at one hundred percent yet. His body still felt pretty sore so he took a seat at the bar stools set in front of the kitchen island.

Sure enough, the warm bowl was set in front of him. Kaneki took the seat next to him with a cup of steaming coffee in hand. The two shared the meal together in comfortable silence, no need to fill the room with meaningless chatter. Besides,he had better things to do, like devour the delicacy laid out in front of him.

He placed the dishes in the sink when he was finished. The full feeling he felt was welcome even if it was unexpected. It usually took more food than that to fill him up but his stomach was working on sick mode right now so he didn't pay it any mind. The two of them went back to watching horrible movies while huddled together in front of the T.V.. Things were pretty great to his surprise; there was no fever or headache in sight, he ate like a king, and his crush was spread out on the couch below him.

As the night went on he thought back tk his whole confession plan. He was taking a temporary hiatus from it but made a promise to himself that he wouldn't back down. The whole day had given him a boost of motivation that he was grateful and frankly, wanted to execute right. It was a mercilessly murdered waste. Until then, all he had was a warm body below him to keep him company. His hold around Kaneki's tightened from Hide, he made sure to take full advantage of his situation. “Thanks for taking care of me, Kaneki.” He said, pushing his face into Kaneki's shoulder.

He replied by squeezing just as tight,” No problem Hide, I'll always be here for you, silly.” Hide could feel him playing with strands of his hair but said nothing. It wouldn't be worth ruining the moment, besides he quite enjoyed having his hair played with.

Maybe today wasn't so bad after all.

Chapter Text

Hide was finally ready. He'd thought of every possible interaction and how it might play into his new and improved plan. Nothing would get in his way– absolutely nothing. And if anyone or thing tried he'd kill ‘em! Not really, but he'd make sure they regretted it. Also, the chances of him meeting someone that he could beat in a fist fight were pretty low, if not impossible. He wouldn't mind, really. If it was for Kaneki he'd fight even if he had no chances of winning. It sounded sappy and gross but it was true.

But that was besides the point! He needed to focus on making everything perfect for his dinner date. Yes, date, after his admittedly slow recovery from his cold last week, Hide had jumped at the opportunity to invite Kaneki over. When he questioned him about it, Hide made sure not to reveal too much. Just something about feeling gracious and kind enough to invite Kaneki over for a simple dinner date. He was concerned that the use of the word ‘date’ would scare Kaneki away, but to his surprise he went along with it, even teasing Hide about it.

Luckily for him he had some of that synthetic meat ghouls could eat--it wouldn't be right to stuff his face while Kaneki got by with a cup of mediocre-at-best, piss-flavored at worst coffee. He'd taken it out the previous night so it had time to thaw. As he moved about the kitchen preparing his ultra-fancy-romance meal he couldn't help the excitement that filled him. He was finally going to do it, confess his true feelings after so long.

“I just hope he feels the same…”He couldn't help but think out loud. No! Thinking about it would waste valuable time. Everything had to be perfect. A quick glance at the stove's digital clock told him hebhsd around two hours to prepare everything. Luckily for him he had already gone ahead and arranged the dining area. Thankfully Nishio had landed him a spare table, one that was small enough to accommodate two people but still had enough room to be comfortable. He'd manage to switch it out with his old glass one, with some difficulty of course. It was times like this that he wished he had that extra ghoul strength to help him out. Nishio could have left him a hand but apparently the table was the only help he was willing to offer.

He had a feeling Nishio only gave it to him because he was tired of Hide's so-called “pathetic pining”. Nishio's words, not his.

The table was a simple wooden one, not anything too fancy. Knowing Kaneki, he'd probably be bothered if Hide put too much effort. That went perfectly with his plan, he placed a simply flower vase in the middle and filled it with a little water. To top it off, a single rose. Besides that, it was just two white table mats and plates. Dimming the lights would also be a good idea, make the place more prone to acts of romance and all.

The last thing to take off was the food, arguably the hardest thing to complete. Hide wasn't known for being the best cook, but he also wasn't the worst. For himself he was planning on making a simple dish, something not too hard. After careful thinking he'd decided to make Japanese curry. Once he decided, he got quick to work.

The first thing he had to do is cook the rice! He removed a small pot that was juuust the right size and filled it with an appropriate amount of water. Next, he turned the heat up all the way, he needed the water to boil fast. Now for the hard part: the actual curry. Curry wasn't a dish he made often, even if it was a common dish his father used to make for him when he was younger. Or like all the times Kaneki and himself had survived off of it during their time at Kami. Now that he thought about it, Kaneki was the one doing most of the cooking, wasn't he? Whatever! He could figure it out in no time.

He wasted no time in grabbing his laptop, getting a simple yet effective recipe was the number one priority. After scrolling for a few minutes he landed on one that wasn't too hard.

《》

Half an hour later both the rice and curry were done, Hide was quite pleased with how it turned out. Maybe he should give this whole cooking thing a chance. Besides, it would give his wallet a break from all the store bought meals he's been surviving on. Not to mention the occasional pity meal Kaneki forced into his kitchen.

He grabbed two plates from the counter that he'd removed earlier and very carefully placed the rice and curry next to each other. Once he made sure that was perfect, he moved on to Kaneki's plate.

Hm, that would be tricky. Should he pan sear it? Or just leave it as it is? That probably wasn't a good idea, the thing would start leaking gross meat juice all over the place…

Hide considered texting Touka, but knowing her she'd reply right when Kaneki arrived, which was completely out of the question.

‘I need to figure this out, he's almost here!’ Hide thought anxiously as he paced around the kitchen, almost bumping into the small island. Maybe it would just be best to put it on the pan and go from there… It was all he could really do at this point.

He couldn't afford to mess this up, it was his best chance at romancing Kaneki up. If literally anything else was wrong it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but this is the food! The main course, the one above all! So instead of moping around wondering about what he could do he quickly got to work with the pan. He set the stove to heat up higher than usual, because of his time limit and all, and removed the piece of meat from its packaging.

It didn't look too bad, if he didn't know its true origin he would've assumed it was beef or something. Salt was definitely a necessity so he got that out, he didn't think any other spices would work with Kaneki's limited choice of food so he left those ones in the pantry.

Once the pan was heated enough he poured a good amount of oil on it. After that, he gently placed the meat onto the hot surface. It sizzles a bit, but other than that, nothing else changed.

When that side looked good enough, he turned it on its side to let it sizzle for a few minutes. He was actually doing it, he was cooking something without it bursting into flames! And this was the second time too! He had to admit, things were going pretty well.

About twenty minutes later he was finally done. Good thing too, because at that moment the sound of the doorbell filled his apartment. ‘Shit, I still need to put it on a plate.’ Kaneki would have to wait, just enough time for him to put both of their plates on the table.

His heart spiked when he almost dropped the cooked meat on the ground, but besides that all was going pretty well, you could even say they were going too well. With each plate in hand, he rushed over to the dining area. Each plate was placed perfectly across from each onto the white table cloth. It was finally complete. Another impatience ring of the doorbell reminded him of who this whole dinner was for.

He didn't have time to check on his appearance so he just brushed himself off and ran towards the door.

On the other side of the door stood Kaneki. “Hide, I thought I'd be ringing the bell forever, how are you?” He said, pulling Hide into a friendly hug. And oh gosh, Hide was totally done for. First of all, Kaneki looked absolutely amazing. He wore one of his sexy skin tight turtle-necks with black a light blue sweater over it. He looked so comfy, it was killing Hide, he was dead, murdered, gone. Not to mention how good the other smelled.

He needed to calm down.

“I was too busy setting up the best dinner of your life, silly. Come in, it's freezing outside!” He pulled back from the hug and dragged Kaneki inside. They were holding hands, which was making Hide go mad, but he had to be cool about it. No use in scoring Kaneki off.

“Wow Hide, you've really outdone yourself. I wasn't aware that at home dinner dates were a part of your skillset.”He said lightly. Was he flirting with Hide?

He didn't hesitate to shoot back,“Hey, I'm very skillful, I'll have you know I got this done in less than two hours!” As they bickered back and forth, Hide led Kaneki straight to the table. Kaneki's hand felt cool and slightly calloused in contrast to his own warm, soft ones.

Before Kaneki could sit down Hide rushed over and pulled his seat out for him. His dad would be proud of his gentleman like manners.Kaneki smiled and Hide swore his face grew pink, but said nothing.

Just before he could pull out his own chair he remembered the one thing that was missing. “I'll be right back, just need to get something.” He felt bad for leaving Kaneki but it would be quick. Kaneki didn't look bothered by it anyways, no need to worry.

In the kitchen, he grabbed two wine glasses in one hand and held two types of wine under each arm. He made sure everything was secure and balanced before hearing back. Kaneki looked up and smiled softly at him. Gosh, he must've been quite the sight. “ Hide you really didn't have to do all this, I'm really not worth all this trouble.” Of course he'd try to convince Hide, somethings really didn't change.

Hide set the dishes down along with the wine bottles.” Don't be silly Kaneki, I'd do anything for you, this is nothing.” He couldn't help but smile, he sounded like such a dweeb, didn't he? Kaneki's smile widened at that. “Fine, I'll indulge you, just this once.” He laughed softly before picking up his fork and knife. He used the knife to cut off a small piece,using the fork to eat it. Hide cheered internally as Kaneki hummed cheerfully, looks like his food wasn't so bad after all, take that universe.

“Wow Hide this is great,you've really come a long way, huh?” Kaneki said, looking at Hide enthusiastically.

Hide looked away bashfully, compliments from Kaneki always made him blush.” It's nothing really, I actually had no idea what I was gonna do with it.”

“Doesn't matter, I'm impressed.” Hide would never admit it to his face, but Kaneki looked adorable while stuffing his face. “ Good to know my measly food is up to your standards, your royal highness.” Hide couldn't help but tease, he was allowed to get one in from time to time too. Kaneki simply laughed at Hide's goofy theatrics.

The room soon filled with the sound of utensils and small chatter, nothing too deep. Despite this, Hide couldn't keep the smile off his face. The same could be said for Kaneki. Sometimes just being in each other's presence was enough to make everything feel less like it was too much. After they finished their meals they set the used dishes in the sink and moved to the living room. Kaneki had suggested they watch a movie and Hide was incapable of denying him anything, so here they were.

Hide had two coaches in his apartment, but naturally they both ended up on the same chair. The wine he'd had earlier had relaxed a bit, but he was still nervous as hell about spilling his feelings. They were having such a good time, he'd nearly forgotten about the whole reason for the dinner. His heart was beating so fast, Kaneki could probably hear it if he strained hard enough.

As much as he wanted to put it off and confess another day, he couldn't. This was the perfect opportunity and he wasn't gonna push it to the side just because he was feeling a tad bit anxious.

He drew in a breath before turning to Kaneki. Here goes nothing. “ Hey Kaneki,is it okay if we stop the movie for a second?” Kaneki turned away from the TV and looked at Hide. ”Sure, what's up? I could tell something was bothering you.” Damn, he really was obvious.

“It's not that something's been bothering me, I've just wanted to get something off my mind, is all.” He said as he looked away from the other.

“Oh, I thought something was wrong for a second, what did you want to tell me?” Hide now had Kaneki's full attention. God, it was terrifying. Knowing that once the truth left his mouth it'd never be the same. Whether Kaneki reciprocated his feelings or not, things would be ultimately different. Hide thoughts almost overwhelmed him, with how close to reality they felt. Kaneki moved closer to Hide, concern clearly written on his face."Hide, what's going on? You're really starting to worry me.” By now, Kaneki was practically sitting in his lap with how close he was. And at some point he had grabbed ahold of Hide's hand. Instead of letting go like he desperately wanted to, he held it tighter and brought it up to, right above his heart.

“I…uhm, have no idea how to say this.” He admitted. All Kaneki could do was stare at him, not knowing what to expect. Kaneki sought his gaze but Hide couldn't help but look away. He just needed a second to gather his thoughts, really. His hands were sweaty, his face felt hot, and Kaneki was still so close. The close proximity made him want to do something stupid, like kiss Kaneki instead of using his dumb mouth to communicate words he hadn't even thought of.

So that's what he did.

Just kidding! He wasn't that brave.

A minute passed before he said anything, Kaneki still kept quiet, holding his hand while letting him get a handle on his thoughts. He really was too good for Hide. Once he knew the next words coming out of his mouth were going to be completely comprehensive, he looked up. Kaneki looked back at him with the same concerned expression, almost as if he was all he could see.

“Listen, I know I've been kind of off lately, but it's not anything serious or whatever.” Kaneki leaned closer as he spoke. “It's just, god, I suck at this.” Hide brought his unoccupied hand up to Kaneki's face, cradling his cheek. “I like you. Like, like like you. It's silly and stupid and I just wanted you to know, so there. You finally got it out of me.”

The last thing he expected was for Kaneki to suddenly smile at him. Kaneki continued to surprise him, because instead of pushing him away and spitting in his face, Kaneki gently held the hand that Hide had against his face.

“Hide, is that really what's been worrying you?” He asked. All Hide could do was gape at him. “Did you really think I didn't feel the same way? Hide, I've been so obvious, come on.” Kaneki continued.

Wait what!?

“What– really?? You're telling me all this time you've felt the same?” Hide questioned. He must've been quite the sight, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. Actually they both were, considering how tangled up in each other's spaces they were. Taking advantage of their close proximity, Kaneki chose to kiss him instead of replying.

The kiss was sweet and shy, words that could only describe Kaneki. He kissed him tenderly, as if he was afraid of breaking Hide. Kaneki snuggled closer, until both of his legs wrapped around Hide's waist. Naturally, Hide pulled him closer, cradling his face in one hand, while wrapping his other hand around his back.

They both pulled back at the same time, flushed and breathless. Neither of them spoke; just staring into the other's eyes as their noses rubber together slightly.

“So, you really like me too?” Hide broke the silence. All Kaneki could do was laugh softly in return. “Of course I like you, stupid, I've always loved you actually. Not sure how it slipped past you.”

“Hey! You can't say that while sitting in my lap, it's not fair.” Hide whined back playfully. Despite his words, he didn't mind Kaneki making fun of him. It was the fact that he could finally hold him and kiss him like this that was blowing his mind.

“So, does this mean we're dating now–” Kaneki pecked him squarely on the lips, shutting him up easily. Looks like the answer was yes, but it wouldn't hurt to hear the other say it.

Kaneki smirked against his mouth, “Of course it means we're dating, I don't go around kissing everyone I like like.” He scooted back so that he could get a better look at Hide's face. He even went as far as to hold his face with both of his hands. “You're never letting that one go, are you?”

Kaneki simply shook his head and grinned, content to make fun of Hide for the rest of his life.