Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

-Akitooo come! Come! Heh

Ena was running through the living room in their apartment laughing as she saw her brother desperately trying to keep up with her speed. He was only one year younger then her but his small legs made it hard for him to keep up with his sister that was so far ahead.

-Wait big sis! Don’t eat it all!!

Akito closed his eyes hard and bit his lip as to try and get more energy out of it to run even faster as he realized that his sister was already in the kitchen.

The siblings mother had a warm smile on her face as she saw her small kids sprinting to the kitchen in hope to get the bigger slice of cheese cake she had brought them that day. She really wished that this sight would never end and that she could protect the precious smiles forever and ever.

———

Present day

Ena’s room was dark and quiet. The only light that was coming the soft glow from her phone and the faint light that was coming from the closet door. As she sat in her bed with the covers tightly around her body. She was mindlessly scrolling through the comments on there latest song that they just had dropped. Her music circle had worked really hard on this piece and it was finally done. Ena had a small smile on her face as she read through them, there was all kinds of comments that praised the song and the different elements to it. Many people were discussing the composing and lyrics to the song which was to be expected, K composing and Yukis lyrics was literally the core for their success after all. Ena’s heart was warm as she thought about how much the two really did for the songs and how much it seemed to touch other people’s feelings. As Ena continued to read through the comments flattered her smile slightly as she couldn’t seem to find so many positive comments about her art, but of course there usually never was any comments about it to begin with… there never was….she knew that reading the comments never did her any good but the temptation was to strong. The more she looked the more her heart started to beat a little faster as her mind started to spin, she wanted the voices to be quiet she really did but somehow would they always win. She whispered under her breath maybe the comments really are right….I’m slowing everyone down.. she griped her phone even tighter with out realizing it.

One time saw she actually a comment that praised her artwork very highly. Ena was over the moon when she read it even screaming internally before realizing that it was from Amia one of her bandmates. Her heart sank a little but she was still very happy about the comment even though something in her mind told her that the comment came more out of pity rather then truthfulness. Ena shook her head and quietly continued to scroll through the comments. In hope to find someone that actually appreciated her artistic talent….talent huh…..she mumbled

———

Guys it’s almost out turn! An’s voice was a mix of excitement and nervousness as she saw the other band go off the stage. This was a big moment for vivid bad squad to get one step closer to surpass Rad weekend. The other band members was trying to mind their own business to turn down the adrenaline.

Toya looked at his friends with a small smile on his face. He new they all had worked so hard for this moment and he new they could do it he could almost feel it. He shot a look at everyone of his teammates with a smile. When his gaze decided to land on Akito a little longer. His partner stood a little more away from the others like he wanted to keep them away. He even looked a little lost like he was in a completely different world from the rest of them. His face didn’t hold his usual confident gaze as he looked at the crowd, he almost looked troubled. Toya didn’t like that look it made him feel uneasy for his parents well being. He was about to comfort Akito about it but at the sometime didn’t he want to do anything worse, what if he read it wrong what if Akito wasn’t trubbled so he decided to brushed it off as Akito just bing nervous about the big crowd….but still something didn’t seem right. I will talk to him after the show tonight was the last promise he made to himself before shifting his gaze to something else.

Kohane looked more confident then ever before and there was a hint of nervousness in her eyes but even more determination in them! This was a big opportunity, she looked at the crowd and then at her band with pride and determination. She will definitely never back out from this big moment.

An was over the moon when she saw the big crowd screaming there name. I will make you proud Nagi-chan I promise. She whispers. Before she looked at her teammates An’s voice was loud and hyper Let’s kill it out there! Vivid bad squad will show them how to make the best show ever! Whooo!

Akito looked over at his teammates, he was happy about this moment, he knew how hard everyone was working to be where they where today. He himself had trained day and night to be able to preform as good has he his now. But looking at his teammates also made him feel uneasy. The more he trained the bigger the gap seemed to get, he could never keep up with the rest of them. He trained and trained but it never seemed to make him shine as bright as the rest of them. His voice wasn’t as powerful as the girls or as elegant/cool as Toyas. The thought of him just being there as an accessory that could get picked out and no one would ever notice made him want to throw up, but he knew his jealousy would just drag down his performance so he pushed down his doubt and smiled at his friends. Let’s kill it.

As the four of them went on stage could Akito feel the sweat dripping from his face and his heart beat rapidly growing upwards.

———

The clock had hit 02:00 and the night was still young. But the call seemed rather quieter then usual. It wasn’t all new that the call got quite sometimes as the girls worked on the different parts of the songs. The only difference today was that the usual bickering never seemed to taken place even as Mizuki tried so hard to get on the artists nerves seemed it never to work..

How is it going for everyone? Kanades soft voice echoed in there rooms. Mafuyu was the first so answer k’s question with her dull sounding voice. The lyrics is almost done, I just need to go through it with you. Mafuyu wasn’t at kanades house as she used to, her mom had instructed her to come home right after cram school so that’s what she did. Her heart felt a little colder than usual when she got home that time, she would have guessed it was because it wasn’t kanade that greeted her when she entered her home.
Kanade held a small smile, when she heard the mafuyus respond, that sounds good Yuki, I will take a look at it.

oh, oh, oh! Love birds! Get a room! Haha Mizukis voice broke through the warm feeling between the other two. But the warmth never faded instead made it its way to the other girl too. To answer your question k so haven’t I made any progress on the editing because someone hasn’t sent me there drawing yet! Enannana what is taking so long? There voice was playful they new that Ena’s art piece took more time and was somewhat the main reson why there deadline always got a little rushed but Mizuki didn’t mind they always loved to edit the petty art piece there friend made. It was thanks to her art that she started to edit k’s songs after all. So they had much gratitude towards the angry artist.

Mizuki waited patiently for some kind of comeback from the artist maybe something like “art is nothing you can rush if you want it to be perfect” but that remark never came. Maybe she didn’t hear me so Mizuki tried again Enanan do you have bad hearing or something? Still no answer. Ena? You there? Mizukis voice got more desperate after each call never got answered. Mizuki….Ena left the call just now, she messaged me that she needed a break at the moment. Kanades voice didn’t hold the same softness to it anymore as moments ago. This time was it a little more firm as if she was debating whether she should act and massage Ena about her sudden massage to leave but at the same time didn’t she want to push the girl to share something she wasn’t comfortable in charging.

Mizuki had many thoughts in her head about the sudden disconnection Ena made, but they pushed it away and decided to playfully plus some honestly in her sentence make the mood the call not too serious after the stunt Ena made. Whattt? But I still need her new artwork to start to edit!
Why don’t we use some of the old rafts Ena made instead ? Kanades voice returned to her usual soft voice, as her mind had made up on how to approach the problem. She let Ena know that she is there if there is something on her mind later…for now will the group just focus on the song they are currently working with.
Yeah doubt Ena is done with the new pice anytime soon. Mafuyu voice was still as blunt as before but there wasn’t any irrational to it. Set backs was normal so she just dealt with it.

Ena gave a tired defeated sigh as she heard her computer give out a click as she closed it. She really didn’t know why but she just couldn’t draw anything to night…was it because of the comments she read just before or……she could feel her heart start to speed up a little as she thought that. So she dismissed the thought, she looked down at her empty notebook as she tried to come up with anything to draw but her mind felt empty like all her creativity had got thrown out of the window. She wanted to scream because she just felt so defeated to never come up with anything new anything that could bring hope to people maybe even save them…the house was quiet and it didn’t help with her anxiety

———

Vivid bad squad was at a local restaurant to celebrate there second place in a contest they where in. Even though they didn’t win was the group still really happy.

The judges was very quick to point out how they could improve in there different aspects of the performance. They all got a few tips and tricks like Kohane could try and sing even louder or that Toya could dance a little bit more but what they all got together was to have better communication with each other.

”Which was weird right? Right?”

Akito was almost screaming internally because he knew who they actually meant by saying that. He wasn’t stupid, so of course that made him frustrated. The others didn’t seem to mind the comment as much as he did. That was because they didn’t really look into it the way Akito did.

An and Kohane was chatting across the table. Their happy laughter filled restaurant, and Toya looked very pleased as he saw the other two be so chill about the concert they just finished. Toya crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, looking over at the rest of the restaurant. The whole vibe was just friendly and welcoming, but he could feel a troubled presence coming from his left side.. As he glanced over at his partner was Akito mumbling about something clearly upset about something.

”Was this the right time to talk to him about before?”

Toya could see the same trubbled face on Akito now as the look he had before the concert had started. But Toya didn’t know how to confront Akito about it that time so he kept it for another moment. Since well yeah he had hit him once before. Toya knew that Akito had promised him that he won’t do that again and that he was really sorry about what he did but still….Toya knew why he had done it and well he could somewhat understand his standing point but risking getting hit again..was well…not the best idea when the thought came up first.

But now, when they are in a restaurant away from the concrete, was it maybe worth it? Who is kidding of course it was worth it. He just needed the right moment.

As the party continued, started Aktio to go back to his usual self, he bickered with An about which coffee was the best and answers questions about the concert like nothing had happened. But Toya could still sense that something was still weighing on his partners mind. Something he just wanted to burry rather then talk about with anyone. But for now could he wait a bit longer before finally asking him about it.

As the night progressed decided the party split up to go back home. An happily took Kohane’s hand and skipped to the train station and quickly saying goodbye to the boys. Toya smiled warmly before sprinting to catch up with Akito that had already started to walk. They walked together in silence for a while, it was not awkward but both of them had clearly things on there minds. Finally decided toya to break the ice and turned to Akito.

-Hey Akito can we talk?

Toyas voice was calm he really didn’t want to come of on the wrong end.

-Sure man, that’s up?

Akito looked towards his partner before glancing at the street again and counting to walk.

-What happened back there? You looked a little off the whole day.

Toyas voice had a hint of concern in it but he knew that if he showed Akito any sort of emotion that could translate to sympathy would, would Akito close off right away.

Akito looked up at the sky for a brief moment before shrugging it off, his tone still as natural as before.

-It’s nothing man, don’t worry about it.

Toya wanted to press further he knew his partner way to well to see the truth behind his words. But he wanted to try once more.

-Akito

-Not now Toya. Let’s talk some other day

With that entered Akito his house and left Toya out in the dark.

When Akito got inside, was house dark. It was 04:30 in the morning and everyone was pretty much asleep. Well not… really everyone. Ena’s light was still on, and Akito had expected to hear some arguing from Enas room, but it was completely silent. It was weird, but Akito couldn’t care less today, he already had so much on his mind already.

still, it felt a little odd. So when Akito passed Ena’s door decided he to peeked inside a little. Ena was sitting on the edge of her bed, just staring out at nothing in particular. With that was Akito satisfied with his checkup and went to his room, he closed his door with a light click and threw himself into the bed and closed his eyes…

As he almost drifted to sleep heard he a quiet but loud curse word coming from the room beside him.

What has she done now? Was the first thing Akito thought before getting up to check on his sister.

Chapter Text

Akito knocked on Ena’s door rapidly. As much as it he knew it was a pain for him to just check on her whenever little sound would came out from her room. He knew that to be safe and sorry even if he would get yelled at by her or just one word would be exchanged from the two.

He knew that Ena could have outbursts all the time and that pissed him off, but he still wanted to make sure she was safe. He was her brother after all, besides he was used to shove his own problems away if that ment she was doing somewhat better.

So why did it feel harder for him to shove his own problems away this time? She deserved the help more right? She needed him.

Akito took a deep breath in hope to calm his racing thoughts. He narrowed his eyes on the door as if that would help him to keep his composure in check, as he began to bang on the door harder.

-Oi! Ena open up! I know you are in there!

When she didn’t respond once again started he to get more irritated by her. He really didn’t have time for this.

-That’s it I’m coming in!

Inside Ena’s room could Akito just make out Ena’s back sat on her knees in the middle of the room. Her hair was messy sticking out here and there and her signature braid couldn’t Akito even make out. Ena’s breath was heavy like she just had run a race but didn’t get the relief to get air into her lungs.

-Akito, it’s over..

Her voice was unusually calm, it made Akito flinch. He had expected more of a fight more of a yelling not this, quiet version of her. He frowned, what could she have meant? Was it about art again? But last time she did that got she right back at it again. It can’t be art again can it? Oh who I’m I kidding it’s always something about art….but it still didn’t feel right, if it really was about art wouldn’t she be more angry? Wouldn’t her room be a mess..I mean sure it was a mess now but more. Akito took a deep breath before stepping into her room, and asking in a neutral tone.

-Over? what do you mean over?

As he walked into Ena’s room left he the door slightly open so the hallway lamp could shine into Ena’s room a little. He could see her a lot better now, sat she on her knees with her back facing him, her phone was tossed a bit away and it looked like the glass had shattered from it. Her breath was as heavy as before and she was desperately clinging to herself.

Akito hated seeing his sister like that, all broken and sad. It reminded him to much of himself from time to time, but now wasn’t it the time to be all reflective about himself. As he walked up to Ena’s side nudged he her shoulder a little with her hand.

-oi, I’m taking to you.

Ena didn’t move she only pulled her hands to her face as she stared down at her hands. Her eyes was cold, and her voice was calm to calm

-they told me I wasn’t good enough to be on social media. They told me I was just a lame girl that happened to be pretty and got some likes, that it was out of pity because someone like me doesn’t have any talent to be someone so they made me pretty

Akitos eyes widened at the words his sister had spoken, so naturally. Like she had staffed to believe that it was true. Akito knows that it wasn’t true that it was just a mean comment, who in the right mind would say something like that.

-what? Ena you know that’s not true. That person was just being mean. Please you know that

Akitos voice was soft, he didn’t know he could sound like that but here he is crouching beside Ena trying to make her feel better.

-how do you know that? It wasn’t even on my art account! It was on my main account my …

Ena wanted to say ego account but she was to stubborn to reveal the main reason for the account in the first place…she was maybe a little embarrassed of it too. But that didn’t matter what mattered was that now didn’t she have anything, she wasn’t good enough for art and now where she not even good enough for her selfie account. The comment was really just the last thing she needed to just want to disappear all over again