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Chapter Text

He can't help but wonder what happened to him. He comes into their shared cabin as per usual, but somethings off. Somethings been off for a while, actually. Most notable is c00lkidds appearance. He wears this weird hooded cape, with holes on each side of his head for his horns, which have visably grown. In fact, they weren't even there when they were here for the first time! He wasn't sure how he leveled up in-game and in real life at the same time. It just didn't make sense! He also had a lot of weird...glitchy things? It really made him an eyesore. Other than that, his responses have been a lot shorter than they used to be. After playing a round, he'd come to bluudud all excited.

"Bluudud, Bluudud! I won—"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!! I'm tryna get some gaming done!"

"But I won!"

"Okay? Good for you, I guess..."

Looking back at it, maybe he shouldn't have taken it for granted. After he comes back from playing a round, he comes back with an uncanny smile and just picks at his skin. Or he scratches it. Very rarely, he'll come back and just lay on the bed, turn his back to Bluududs side of the cabin, and go to sleep. He barely interacts with anyone. Whenever they get food, he brings it to his side and eats a bit of it before just leaving it at the side of his bed. That's another problem! His side of the cabin smells! Theres dirty plates, trash everywhere, and rotting food! It's a wonder there aren't any bugs. 

"Hey, c00lkidd."

"Good evening."

"...sooo... how have you been holding up?"

"How odd. You decided to change the wording of your incessant pestering. It's the same message of 'are you okay?' And to be frank, it's quite vexing."

c00lkidd spoke with an eerily high-pitched voice. It was kind of scratchy. I mean, it was the same as always. He just....said words differently.

"Well, you could have used less... wordy words! How about that?"

"I assume you mean polysyllabillic. However, considering your illiteracy, you wouldn't even be able to break that word down."

"Jeez, what's wrong with you?! You're so.. ugh, I don't even know! Why do you speak so fancy with all those big words and stuff?"

"Is there any problem with how i decide to refine my dialect? I don't care if you think I'm being verbose."

"Okay, well, it's not just that! You're also like... well if I had to describe it, I'd say you're fucking depressed!"

"I don't need you to psychoanalyze me, especially when you have no experience in psychopathology."

"...well. Well, I dont even know what those words mean, so I guess I won't be able to stop... what was the word again?"

"I'm going to sleep."

"A game can't seriously ragebait you that badly. It isn't even hard! You just kill everyone and win. Is that what this is about?"

c00lkidd sat up laughed maniacally.

"Oh.. Oh, Bluudud. I pity you."

He flopped back down onto his mattress and turned away from Bluudud.

But he was WAY too stubborn to let him do that again.

He got up and grabbed him harshly by the clasp of his cape, which wasn't unwelcome by c00lkidd, but he was certainly surprised.

"Tell. Me. Whats. Wrong. With. You."

"You do know that your little method is no longer effective towards me, correct?"

"I DON'T CARE."

"Of course you don't. Always so eager to act that you forget to think before doing so. This is hardly worth my time."

"Hardly worth your time? Most of the things you do aren't worth your time! Either you sleep, or stare at the ceiling, or pick at your skin! Have you genuinely looked in a mirror or noticed the heaps of trash near your bed? You know what'd be worth your time? Cleaning!"

"You're up."

"Huh-?"

Before he knew it, Bluudud was pulled into a round.

"...saved by the bell, I suppose."

Just kill everyone, he says, not knowing the weight of his words. Although, c00lkidd can't blame him. It's not Bluudud's fault that he's utterly brainless. 

And yet, deep down, jealousy plagues his mind. After all, ignorance is bliss. He isn't aware of the damage he's doing. Bluudud isn't beset by the fact that he's been fundamentally torturing everyone. Would Bluudud enjoy it if he found out? Learn to embrace it in a way like c00lkidd? He can't find a reason why he wouldn't. It's plain to see that the survivors are there for a reason. The only one he regrets killing in a round is...

...

Well, regardless, he's catching on to it. It surely can't be long before he finds out.

He looked around. He hated how he lived. Alas, he had no motivation to clean, nor did he have the intention to. It's useless labor that will only result in the same cycle.

He rested his head on his pillow while shifting his focus to the wood ceiling. He was exhausted. 

The door opened, and he suddenly heard a high-pitched voice interrupting his internal dialogue.

"Hey, come out here, theres food...err. Where's the blue one?"

"Absent. Thank you for alerting me, Pr3tty."

"Rrright. Whatever."

He left the cabin and made his way to the central building. His main goal was to be in and out as quickly and swiftly as possible, all while being unsuspecting.

Unfortunately, he was very suspecting. 

He kept looking around. Snapping his neck to wherever he heard the slightest sound. He grabbed two plates of food and booked it.

When he got back to his shared room, he placed one of the plates of food on Bluudud's desk and ate his own plate.

Normally, he wouldn't fully finish it because he was a bit picky, but he only grabbed dessert. Quite a few at that. Fruit tarts... He gently set down the plate on a few others (all of differing sizes) and tucked himself in.

He saw his father. He looked down at his hands. They were... oddly smooth. Vibrant red. The world around them seemed wonderful. Like a dream. He went up to him.

"Father...? Dad?"

He asked, hopefully. Unsure why.

His figure slowly started to turn, and suddenly, the world was foggy. It was all wrong. The sky was dark. He could barely see anything but his dad, who had contorted into a mess. 

It turned around fully, with half its skin melted off. Fourth and third degree burns cursed his father's skin.

It smiled. It smiled too widely. No... no..

It was all wrong. He was all wrong..

"...dad?"  c00lkidd's voice cracked.

He saw his dad's jaw unhinge, his remaining skin on his mouth ripped to reveal the muscles behind it. Blood dripped. Blood was everywhere—it was on his hands as if HE had done this. No. He would never. Not to his father.

"It's all your fault."

The figure croaked out.

...

c00lkidd woke up to pleasantly not being able to move.

He tried yelling for his dad, for bluudud (because he realized it was more logical to, as he was in close proximity and most likely done with the round) to no avail. Barely any sound came out. He knew not to open his eyes, or he'd see more disturbing imagery. Maybe the survivors corpses surrounding his bed. Maybe just a simple shadowy figure.

He eventually calmed himself and started by moving his fingers. Soon enough he was able to move the rest of his body.

He didn't sleep the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

When Bluudud got back from his round, he thought nothing of it. He won as per usual—being a great gamer and all—except this time, c00lkidd was on his mind the entire time. It messed up his gaming performance. 

30 seconds left.

30.

and there were still 4 survivors left.

c00lkidd.... what's wrong with him..?

c00lkidd...... nows not the time to be thinking about him.

In a clutch, he was able to win the round. But his mind was still a bit hazy.

As soon as he got back, he tried to find Pr3ttyPriincess. Surely, she must've noticed something, even if she's not in the same cabin as them. She.....requested—no, demanded her own. Slasher is cabinless. He sleeps in a tent...

Bluudud didn't notice her in the central area, so he looked for her in the cabin area. He knocked on her door. And waited. She usually took a while to open the door so she could put herself together a bit more before someone else saw her. It was like her normal self just wasn't enough for her! Bluudud didn't really get that.

"Ugh, what is it?" She asked, snappily.

The first thing Bluudud noticed was her pajamas. They were over the top fancy.

"That can NOT be comfortable."

"Is that all you came in here to do? Comment on MY sleepwear choices? I was trying to get some beauty sleep!!!"

"This early?"

"It's only 7, and you'd probably be better off going to sleep at the same time. I mean, just look at you..."

"Jeez, okay! I get it. I just wanted to ask... um..."

"Spit it out!"

"c00lkidds been acting weird?"

"That's a statement, not a question."

"I don't even know the difference!"

"Of course you don't."

"Okay, fine! I think c00lkidd has been acting weird. Do you...uum think that... too?"

"Don't even get me started! We'll talk about it during tea tomorrow at 8 o'clock SHARP. Don't you DARE be late."

"What?! But that's so eaaarrlyyy..."

"Don't come whining to me about it."

She slammed the door in his face. He sighed exhaustedly and went to his cabin, prepared for c00lkidd to either be asleep or ignore him completely. 

He looked at the food on his bedside table. And then at the new dirty plates by c00lkidds bed.

Why wouldn't he just talk to him...?

He got that he wasn't the nicest.

He got that maybe he wouldn't know what to say.

But...

He didn't feel like eating.

He divided the bits of food into 12 small parts and then smeared them on c00lkidds plates. He wouldn't notice anyway.

He felt guilty about it, but he was unsure of why.

That, and he was scared c00lkidd would wake up and ask him what he was doing..

Whatever.

He stayed up a bit gaming and then went to bed.

When he woke up, c00lkidd was looking at the ceiling. Blankly.

"Uum. Hey. Earth to c00lkidd."

He didn't respond.

"Fine. I didn't want to deal with your bullcrap anyway."

Bluudud left and slammed the door, regretting it immediately after doing it. The sound was louder than he thought. His ears rang, but he decided to ignore it and walked over to Pr3tty's cabin. She already had a picnic setup right next to it.... and she was already sitting there.

"So you're FINALLY here, huh."

"Im a SINGULAR minute late!"

"I said to be here at—"

"I get it, whatever. C00lkidd."

"Oh my. Do you not know your manners? You don't just go straight to the topic! How do you not remember this from the countless times I've told you?!"

He sighed and sad down.

"Good morning, Pr3tty." He said, obviously bored.

"Good morning! Care for some tea, sir?"

"I do care for some..?"

"Perfect! The cubes are right there."

He looked at the sugar cubes, grabbed a few, and just hoped they'd fully dissolve.

"..."

"...do...you not remember what comes next?"

"The weather....um. You know what, I didn't come here to play tea party!"

"Fine! You just can't be patient, can you?"

She scoffed.

"Got anything on the mind, Bluu?"

"Yeah, c00lkidd, he's all weird."

"I have to agree. I mean, have you seen his room?"

"....all the time?"

"Right.... um. Well, it's disgusting in there! You must have bugs or rats! It's like he doesn't even care that he's living like a pig."

"I wouldn't go that far..."

"Puh-leaase. Don't tell me you're worried for him?"

"Well.... I've told him to clean a lot, but he just... doesn't do it! It's frustrating! And to me, it's... worrying? So... I mean, I guess?"

"Ugh, that's the last thing I thought I would hear from you. Worried about c00lkidd."

"Well, yeah, but the worst he did was be annoying... right?"

"Yeah, he's annoying. And he still is! Acting like he's a grown-up with all those new big words."

"..."

"I don't get how it's worrying. He just got more annoying."

"Maybe that's all there is to it, huh?"

"Why? Hoping for more?"

"I just... I mean... He picks at his skin a lot, and he ignores me a lot and..."

"He ignores you? Isn't that a good thing?"

"Well, yeah, but it's just..."

"No, wait, you're right, that is weird! He always used to bug you a lot! Although, he kinda always picked at himself."

"Not as much as now! There's blood spots all over his pillow and his sheets! Sometimes, he just smears his blood on the wall if it's too much, and it makes me... feel..."

"Ugh, gross!!! Why are you telling me this?! He's disgusting. Not to mention that he smells, too. Why don't you just get your own cabin?"

"Maybe I'm just not as selfish and self-centred as you, but I dont want to make someone else sleep in a tent."

"Shut up!"

"You shut up! You don't even care about this, do you? All you care about is to complain and complain and.. COMPLAIN!"

"You, sir, are hereby BANNED from this tea party. Shoo!"

"I didn't even finish my tea!"

"Too bad! Maybe you should have thought about that before running your mouth! Oh, you can take a few pastries, though."

"Whatever! It tasted like shit anyway! And those all look..eeh...gross."

She scoffed, and he stormed off.

"My tea isn't that bad!"

.

.

.

C00lkidd only got up when Bluudud left. He refused to do so otherwise.

At first, he was scared. scared that he couldn't sleep. But at some point, he got used to the restless nights. He'd make indents in his skin, peeling back layers to pass the time. To some people, it would seem like every inch of his skin was covered in scabs. It was disgusting, more disgusting than whatever his skin initially was. 

His eyes sagged. He got up to get breakfast, hoping that there still was some.

Thankfully, there was plenty of food. And—odd but not unwelcome to him—nobody was there. He looked at the time.

Ah... that was it. He was early.

He grabbed a serving, and then two.

and then three

and then four

He looked around, paranoid that someone was seeing this.

five..

Five servings of chocolate pancakes. He knew he'd be sick, but he was hungry..?

Not like any of the killers really liked sweet things anyway, right...? Maybe some, but definitely not all.

He quickly walked back to his room and sat on his bed. The pancakes were good. Delicious. Sweet and fluffy. The chocolate chips were fully melted and burnt a bit at the top and bottom, just the way he liked it. 

He ate as much as could before he felt like throwing up. Which was two and a half. He saved the rest for later... lunch didn't even serve dessert.

He left the plate on his bedside table and tried falling asleep again. He rested his eyes.

His sleep was quickly interrupted.

"C00lkidd. C00LKIDD!!"

"....what. you're acting as if you aren't some lowly creature compared to me. demanding my attention. whatever could be so important?!"

"I just... uh.."

He quickly—albeit with force—hugged c00lkidd.

He was surprised and almost pushed him off, but Bluudud pulled away before he could.

C00lkidd just looked at him, almost offended and... a little scared...?

Bluudud just blushed. What was the purpose of doing that again? Did he make it worse?

"H-Have a good nap."

He scowled and tilted his head at Bluudud.

"Dont ever lay your putrid hands on me again."

He turned over before Bluudud could react.

Chapter Text

He couldn't help but feel a little hurt. Then again, he didn't really take into account that c00lkidd could react like that. All he was thinking was that c00lkidd might... open up to him? But looking back on it, Bluudud thought, it was just stupid. Maybe there wasn't anything wrong with c00lkidd, and Bluudud was just overthinking it.

He sat on the cabin's porch. It was dark outside as per usual, and foggy, which was a rare occurrence.

"Oooh!! Bluu, look! Fog!!" C00lkidd pointed outside towards where it was most prominent.

"Excuse me...?" Bluudud was confused as to why he was so excited over something as simple as fog.

"THE FOG IS COMING!!!"

"WHAT?! HEY—"

C00lkidd tackled him to the ground of their cabin. 

"C00LKIDD GET OFF ME!!!"

...he sunk his head into his arms. They had grown up quite a bit throughout their time...here? Even if he had no idea what 'here' was. He thought it was some weird gaming camp convention thing. But no one here really seemed to be too big on the 'gaming' aspect of it. Didn't C00lkidd used to be big on the tag thing? Whatever happened to that?! He'd ask everyone to play with him. He doesn't do that anymore.

He felt a pain in his throat, and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. But big boys don't cry, right? They just... don't.

Just then, he was brought into a round.

Whoever was in charge of this couldn't have chosen a worse time than this.

He looked at the other players.

A lobby full of sentinels and survivalists. Great. At least he might be able to say hi to his mom.

The main flaw in this was no support. He knew they wouldn't be able to regain health (excluding Shedletsky and Two Time) without medkits. Overall, it seemed unbalanced not to include that weirdo pizza guy who's oddly cheery. What's his business in gaming anyway?!

He started by getting rid of Chance. He could practically hear their coin flips from a mile away. Weakness XXIII. Yeah, not too lucky. 

A survivalist would be painful to leave for last, so he worked on those.

Noob took too long drinking their Bloxy Cola, so it was a pretty easy kill. They have to be addicted or something...

He spotted his mom over near a generator. Nothing like a sneak attack to surprise her.

He initiated his walkspeed override. She used a clone to block it, but Bluudud wouldn't let it slide. He forced her into a corner.

She brought out her GUI, frantically tapping at it while she walked further back into the corner. She had never seemed so... genuinely scared.

The sky had a reddish hue to it that he had never noticed before.

"Mom? Something wrong?"

She looked at him—expression unreadable.

She wondered how he asked it so casually, as if she hadn't died to her sons hand, time and time again. 

"Mom!! How come you're acting so weird? I thought you were the one who said never to let your guard down in a game?" His questioning was blissful. In no way did he know what he was doing.

She seemed to calm down a bit at this.

"Bluudud, honey, please listen to me very carefully," Her voice was light, but scared and fragile. "You aren't playing a game right now—"

Her GUI teleported her.

...he ISN'T playing a game? What was he doing then???

He tried putting the pieces together, but everything he tried just... didn't fit.

The game seemed to be glitching quite a bit. There was a whole shift in the atmosphere that made it feel....real. More real than any other VR game he had played.

Bluudud lost the round.

He hadn't even noticed it ended.

.

.

.

C00lkidd pushed down his regret quite often. When he killed his dad, he wouldn't feel much in the moment, but afterward, he'd condemn himself for it. He'd try to save him, but his father would always burn at what seemed to be C00lkidd's hands. 

And he would bottle up his regret when pushing Bluudud away, trying not to think about what just happened.

It made his stomach drop, comfort. Letting anyone in didn't feel safe to him. He would hug his father, yes, but he's scared to know what his father would think if he knew what was going on in his head. Would c00lkidd be pitied? He didn't want that, not at all.

He realized he would be pulled into a round soon. He didn't feel like it one bit.

..he wished he were under the impression he was playing tag still.

He found that Noob and Elliot weren't all there either, killing them proved to be easy.

That left four more. How hard could it be?

He summoned his pizza delivery bots, and he found that the rest of them were a lot closer than he thought they were. 

Immediately, he was slashed at and shot, followed by a backstab and a punch.

Cheaters... they were CHEATERS. They smiled when they hurt him. Do they find joy in this? Scum, that was all they were.

He'll show them. He'll show them all. If they get to use their shiny weapons, he'll just use his. It's only fair.

He unsheathed his firebrand. It was his favorite 'toy' when his GUI was unlocked. He had no clue how dangerous it could be.

But now he did, and he'd use that to his advantage.

They all looked surprised, which is understandable. He hadn't done this before. How could he do it now? 

But... why are they bound to their weapons, unable to do anything else? Who's making them do so, and why is he the exception?

He would question it later.

A simple stab in the heart worked quite well. He isn't trying to fight back with Guest. His blade sunk into his flesh, and oddly enough, he was more surprised than in pain. He would have expected him to scream... like he does when he punches him. All that came out was a gurgling sound. Blood spilled from his mouth. His legs would give out, and soon, the rest of his body joined them.

Two Time was vexing to him, to say the least. Those pesky backstabs while he's trying to kill someone... He doesn't have the patience to keep them around longer. Two Time's first instinct was to deal any amount of pain to C00lkidd, as they were close to their second life. But before they could, C00lkidd forced their dagger off of them and stabbed them instead. He twisted the dagger, and their insides would squelch. He ripped it out and threw it. Their intestines followed closely before being torn.

Chance... He surely played some type of roulette in his life, right? Beheading seemed akin to blowing someones brains out. But trying to decapitate someone with a sword didn't always work with a single blow. He pulled his sword out a quarter of the way through. It's fine, they'll go brain dead from blood loss soon enough.

Eventually, Shedletsky was the last one standing, holding himself together with his life on the line. Getting hit would mean "game over" for him.

He smirked. Cocky, was he?

"I know you made 1x. They all know." He said, hoping to catch Shedletsky off-guard.

His eyes widened, but he couldn't let that slide. "You know, they all hate him, your father—"

C00lkidd's sword pierced his stomach, blood pooled from his back and front.

"You and I both know you're in the same boat as him." His smile grew, more than it had been twisted to be.

He looked at the obscenity before his eyes. It was enough to make any person sick, but he felt almost numb to it. A disease to the robloxian species; that had to be why they were there. All of them. So, what could possibly be the harm in their torture? He didn't feel bad about it... he didn't think about what his father would say to him or any of his friends. He didn't think, no.

He suppressed it.

Chapter Text

When c00lkidd first saw the other kids, he was ecstatic. Sure, playing with 1x and Noli was fun, but it always seemed one-sided. And...like they only played with him because they pitied him. John Doe was scary, and Slasher was a bit too...quiet.

However, they didn't seem too interested in him. c00lkidd didn't have enough 'manners' for Pr3tty, and Bluu was too busy gaming to care.

That night, he cried. Not the type of loud and obnoxious crying he would do as a joke or to get someone's attention. It was soft. And whenever it got too loud, he buried his head into his pillow to muffle the sound. He felt so disappointed. They were kids too, and yet.. they would rather be by themselves than play with him. It was a hopeless endeavor, he thought. To be happy like he used to? Like the him he couldn't remember.

Bluudud had noticed this in the midst of him gaming. His quiet sobs started to become a lot more noticeable as the night went on. He felt guilty for ignoring him, although he swore he'd never admit it.

"Uh.. hey. C00lkidd, was it?" He asked, trying to ignore the awkward situation.

"Mhm...?" He answered. And to Bluudud, it sounded pathetic. But he couldn't help but feel compassionate towards him.

"I'm a little bored.. I was thinking...wanna um.." He looked around the room, trying to find something c00lkidd would enjoy.

Then he spotted something PERFECT; a 152 pack of crayons. He didn't even know that existed!

"Color...?"

C00lkidds head shot up, and he wiped his tears to his best ability.

"You wanna color.. with me? Really?!" He couldn't fight back a smile.

"Yeah. Um. yeah.. Let's color.." He said, as if he was being forced to do this.

At first, Bluudud felt like he was babysitting. Even though he and C00lkidd were extremely close in age..

But, he warmed up to it.

"Hehe.. Im gonna draw your head SUPER big." C00lkidd giggled mischievously, and Bluudud shot him a somewhat offended look.

"Hey!! No, you aren't!! Gimmie that!" He reached for it before C00lkidd snatched it away from him.

"Nooo!! You're gonna snap it!! Bluetiful is one of my favorites!" Bluudud was confused about why that mattered, but he didn't question it.

"Well, I dont care. You have a bunch of blues in here, don't you? Just use one of those!"

"Well, yeah, but it won't be like bluetiful! I'll probably have to use.. like.. aqua fizz!! And then your GIANT head will not only be gargantuan, but it'll be super glittery!" He trailed off with a laugh.

"Well, at least aqua fizz isn't a LAME name."

C00lkidd laughed more at his accidental rhyme.

"Who are you.. doctor..hehe.. Doctor seuss? pfft.."

"Stop making fun of me!!! How would you feel if i drew YOUR head super big?!"

C00lkidd gasped. "You wouldn't...DARE.. unless, of course.. you wanted to face my WRATH!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!!"

Bluudud proceeded to draw his head really big.

"...."

"Yeah, what now, LOSER."

C00lkidd flipped his page vertically and drew a blue circle that was approximately half the page. 

Bluudud immediately took the paper from him and ripped it into pieces.

"Heyy! I put a lot of work into that circle! You might make me cry, you know?"

"Whatever! Let's just... take this seriously and actually draw each other!!"

"...I can make do with that! I'll show you mine when I'm done!"

"Sounds... good."

And so they drew. Sounds of scribbling filled the air; C00lkidd hummed a tune and Bluudud tried to read out the names of certain colors.

They both started finishing up at around the same time, blue and red crayons making up the majority of their mess.

C00lkidd was the first to say something. "Im finished!!"

"I am too just.... yeah.. Im done." Bluudud felt like he was missing something, but if C00lkidd was done, maybe it'd be best not to keep him waiting.

They both very hesitantly passed their papers to each other. Afraid of what the othet may think.

"Woah.. WOAH!!! Oh my gosh, I'm gonna keep this forever! It's so cool!!!" C00lkidd had to refuse the urge to jump around.

"I.. um.." Bluudud was a bit flustered. He didn't want to seem lame, but he really liked C00lkidds drawing.

"ireallylikeit." Bluudud tried to make his words as incomprehensible as possible so that C00lkidd wouldn't hear it. Who knows? Maybe he just...wouldnt ask?

"What was that?" In retrospect, that was a really bad idea. Not only that, but it was pretty obvious C00lkidd had heard it and was only teasing Bluudud for fun.

"I SAID I REALLY LIKE IT!!!"

"Hehe... i knew you would!! Admit it, you liked playing with me!!!" Bluudud looked to the side, blushing.

"Yeah, whatever, I guess it was fun."

C00lkidd looked down at the ground and picked at the skin around his fingers.

"Thanks for... playing with me."

Bluudud looked up, a bit surprised at the change in C00lkidd's attitude.

"It was no biggie.. We'll play tomorrow too, alright?"

...

c00lkidd looked down at the drawing bluudud had made for him when they first met. A tear made its way down his face before he wiped it off. He tried blinking them away, but this only seemed to make it worse.

He made a decision he knew he'd regret. He flipped the paper over.

"ps i herd you crying. sory for not beeng niser, your reely cool, but dont tell any1!" written in bluetiful.

Tears stained the paper before he could do anything about it. 

C00lkidd thought; he didn't have the capacity to hurt Bluudud. Not even if he was mean to him. Because deep down, he knows he's nice. So he has to be cold towards him. To protect him... right?

He can't find out the truth.. He doesn't want him to turn into whatever monster C00lkidd had become. 

Chapter Text

Bluudud didnt know what to think; if it wasnt a game then.... Well, it's not like he was really killing people. Of course he wasn't. Maybe his mom meant something else, but he just... couldnt put his finger on it.

He walked into his and C00lkidds shared cabin. To his surprise, there werent anymore dirty plates surrounding C00lkidds bed, and most of the trash was put into trash bags. Bluudud would have said something.... nice to him, but it seemed like he was asleep at the time. 

"...when was it that he changed again?" Bluudud thought, even though he knew the answer. When he first noticed his change in attitude.

...

They brushed hands, Bluudud initiating it.

But C00lkidd pulled his hand away. Looking away, shamefully. Like he was hiding some terrible secret.

But Bluudud longed for his warm hands to hold his. Like he used to. Of course, he wouldn't comment on it. He didn't want to seem desperate.

They just... sat there. In silence. It wasn't a comfortable silence, though, not at all. It was obvious they both wanted to say something to each other, something that seemed important, and yet their mouths didn't open /once/.

It had been about 10 minutes until Bluudud couldn't take it anymore. He put his hand on the others shoulder. C00lkidd flinched and tried to scoot away, but Bluudud persisted.

"C00lkidd... are you okay?" He asked it hesitantly; he knew it was a somewhat annoying question, but he also hated the fact that... He had become so...worried..? About C00lkidd. 

"I'm fine. Also, that questions annoying." He shot Bluudud a deadpanned look before grabbing his hand with a firm grip and moving it back onto the hardwood porch of their shared cabin. "Next time....just..." he looked somewhere, seemingly anywhere BUT Bluudud. "Keep your hands to yourself.."

He got up and went back inside.

Bluudud's lip quivered.

Did he do something wrong? He could have sworn... C00lkidd liked him. He saw ALL the signs; it wasnt hard to spot them. The way C00lkidd wouldnt leave his side at all, the way C00lkidd so often made his way to cuddle with Bluudud because he "kept having nightmares," even though both of them seemed to know it wasn't the truth. The way he'd tell him he was the "c00lest person he'd ever met..."

.

.

.

"c00lkidd..?" Bluudud muttered.

While there was no response from the other side, Bluudud could tell that C00lkidd heard his words.

"I think I had a nightmare... could I.." He struggled to get the words out of his mouth, but just as he gained the confidence to speak up again, C00lkidd answered.

"...you'll live." His words were cold and void.

Bluudud almost couldnt believe his ears. He told himself not to.

"what..? I-Im sorry, just... say that again? Please?" He tried to hide the hurt in his voice. 

"I said... I.. said.." He realized his own words. He said that Bluudud would... "live." Despite all the times Bluudud let C00lkidd sleep next to him for comfort, he denied Bluudud the one time he needed it. Of course, he would live, but that wasn't the point.

"You know what..? Nevermind. Looking back at it, I don't think the nightmare was that bad."

...

Looking back at that day, it was obvious that something bad happened to C00lkidd, but he never quite noticed it. He was too full of his own emotions to see that. But that didn't change the fact he was changed too. Whether it be the fact he doesnt open up to anyone at all anymore, or that he can't see the color red the same anymore, C00lkidd hurt him.

Yet he still hates himself for not being able to save C00lkidd, for not noticing it all sooner. He would distract himself and avoid confronting his emotions through gaming. He wouldn't do anything else but that. Sure, he might sleep through the day on a few occasions, but that was it. He wouldn't eat, and only drank very little amounts of water.

That's not the case now. He's done running away from his problems.

"C00lkidd." He cautiously called for him, yet he didn't move.

"C00LKIDD!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, which had obviously gotten C00lkidds attention.

He sat up, covering his ears. "What...what do you want? I thought it was pretty obvious not to bother me while I'm sleeping."

"You aren't sleeping, I can tell. I'm not falling for you... your lies. Infact, I'm done guessing with you, C00lkidd."

"Just... tell me. Do even like me anymore? Or want me to stay here? Because it really seems like it doesn't."

Of all questions, this was one he wanted to hear least. He paused, thinking out his words carefully. 

He was at a loss. Even through the nights, he stayed up thinking about this question and every response he could give. 

"C00lkidd. Answer me. Stop looking at the ground and answer me, please." Bluudud was gradually getting louder and more aggressive towards C00lkidd. How can he still not give a straight answer...?

Time passed. Too much time for Bluudud.

"Well, if you're just going to sit there then you're leaving." He turned around just as C00lkidd's head shot up.

Of course, he expected it. He knew it could happen at some point. But he wasn't ready for it. He never would be.

"Im going to bed...and if you arent out of here by the time I wake up.. I... I'll do something."

His "threat" was null. It didn't mean anything for either of them, and yet they still felt that it had to be done.

"okay." He coughed out. It felt like there were spikes in his throat, restraining him from speaking normally.

"....okay."

.

.

.

Bluudud would wake up to an empty room, too empty for his liking. There was no snoring, or small, soft tears from C00lkidd. Just a vacant bed frame.

He took out a note he had been saving in his bedside drawer. His handwriting really wasn't anything special, and his grammar DEFINITELY wasn't. He barely knew how to spell most common words, usually just going off of what they sounded like. 

There was a time he thought he could muster up the courage to give it to C00lkidd, but as more and more time passed, it seemed so much more unlikely to him.

"deer c00lkid,

i dont reely no wut to say to u othr than that i love yoo.

i usd to think yoo wer REELY anoying, but then i saw yoo cry and i felt reely bad abowt not playing with yo.

wi colrd togethr and i had so mutch fun, mor fun then i wuz ecspecting to hav. 

i no that it mite be a bit hard to understand becuz i dunno how to rite, but im reely hapy im here with yoo. thank yoo for beeng so c00l."

He crumbled the note up in his hand, almost ripping it to shreds, yet he couldnt bring himself to. He was still holding onto the hope that C00lkidd; by some ungodly chance still liked him.

No, not anymore. There wasnt anything, anything at all to hold onto.

He shoved it back into his drawer.