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Chapter Text

Claire hadn’t felt anything suspicious was up until a very concerned Pepper Saltzman had called Phil to ask if Mitch and Cam were upset with him as they’d been distant for at least the last couple weeks. She thought about it and realized that more than usual, she noticed Lily at her house or her dad and Gloria’s. Which wasn’t all the way odd, but usually Cam picked her up after school or she was dropped off by a non-father adult at her house before dinner. The seven year old had no idea why she was staying over so much lately. 

Now that Claire actually thought about it, Cam had been a bit out of it at Phil’s birthday dinner and at the time, Mitch was concerned and asking if he was okay. They hadn’t seen him since and Lily said he’d been acting a little weird, though she couldn’t really explain how and all Mitch told her is that he’s sick. So, Claire assumed whatever was wrong with Cam then, Mitch knew about and was doing a poor job of explaining it. Claire texted them individually.

Claire: Pepper thinks he offended you two

Mitch: He thinks our house is offensive, I wouldn’t put too much stock in it. It’s just been very hectic time at work for both of us

Claire: You’d tell me if you needed help, right?

Mitch: Of course

Cam texted a couple minutes later.

Cam: I’ve offended Pepper just by him remembering I’m a clown. Also, I got Principal Brown breathing down the back of my neck. Truth be told, I’m coming down with a cold or something while navigating this hectic time, that’s why we’ve been having Lily stay over with you or Dad

Cam: I meant Jay. Don’t tell him I said that or he’ll yell at me

Claire: No problem

Claire’s suspicions were raised even more. It’s unlike Cam to make that mistake and what hectic time? It’s almost spring break. Why did they both use that term to describe it? I’d expect Cam to say cray-cray or call it a doozy of a week.

Claire: You could’ve taken time off if you’re not feeling good

Cam: I’m at least farm strong when it comes to being sick, I’ll be fine

I guess that’s believable, but still really weird. Claire thought.

She caught Mitch when he dropped Lily off for Easter Sunday. He huffed impatiently, muttering he didn’t have time for this. She caught worry on his pale face and could see bags under his eyes which darted to his car.

“Why didn’t Cam come and why can’t you stay?” Claire asked.

“He’s unwell and I need to be with him.” Mitch said shortly. 

“Mitchell-” She made to put her hand on his shoulder, but he jerked away, shaking his head.

“I don’t have time for this. I’ll pick her up later.” He said, hurrying to the car.

“Mitchell!” She ran after him, but he peeled out of the driveway and left. She growled and turned back to the house. 

Lily looked a bit upset that her dads wouldn’t be there. Everyone asked and she said that she didn’t know what was going on. Claire asked if Cam had been sick since Phil’s birthday and Lily shook her head.

“He doesn’t look or sound sick.” Lily said. “Dad’s been acting scared.”

“Scared?” Claire asked.

“Everything scares him and he’s barely talking to Daddy when I’m in the house…actually, Daddy’s only in his bedroom or the den watching tv.”

This wasn’t the conversation one would like to have over Easter dinner, but Jay and Claire exchanged looks and nodded. 

“Lily, honey.” Jay said. “When you say scared, do you mean Dad’s scared of Daddy?”

“Um…I dunno. Sometimes Larry scares him or I scare him. A couple times sounds outside scared him.” Lily said. 

“You uh-haven’t noticed any…marks? Like red spots or bruises?”

“A long time ago I saw a bruise on Dad’s neck and he turned red when I asked and Daddy said that it was okay because-”

“Maybe ones that don’t look like that.” Claire interrupted. “Maybe ones that don’t look okay?”

“You’re trying to ask and not ask me if Daddy is hitting Dad.” Lily said.

“I don’t think that’s the case, but a very long time before you were born, I promised I wouldn’t let your dad get hurt again, please don’t ask what I mean by again, and Daddy promised us that he would protect Dad. It took a while for us to trust your daddy with him.”

“Mm-mm.” Lily shook her head. “Dad wears short sleeves and I saw him yesterday coming out of the shower with his undies on. The scars are from before, right?”

“Right.”

“Then he looks normal.”

“How about Daddy? How does he look on the outside?”

“He wears shorts and t-shirts and sometimes he walks around without his shirt. He looks normal too.”

“Claire, I highly doubt it was going there.” Jay said.

“I’m not underestimating my brother’s strength.” Claire said. “I knew that was a dead end, but just because I think I know them well enough, doesn’t mean things can’t happen. That being said, I felt like the answer wasn’t physical abuse.”

“There is something weird happening.”  Gloria said.

“How do we get to the bottom of it? He would’ve told me if he was…hurt again. He promised.”

Phil was unusually serious looking and nodded. “It’s not exactly like how it was then, but he’s still skittish and avoiding us.”

“Avoiding everyone by the sound of it.” Manny chimed in. “Could we teens be clued in?”

“When we drop Lily off and Joe’s sleeping.” Claire said.

She sent pictures of Lily to her dads later. Cam replied with hearts and Mitch said ‘cute, thanks!’ Claire thought it was weird for Cam not to gush over how adorable Lily was in a flowery blouse and jeans. Mitch sent a picture of Cam smiling and in front of his dinner plate. There was a box of tissues on the table and behind Cam was cold medicine next to the sink. 

When Lily was dropped off, Claire put her foot in the door before Mitch could close it on her. He groaned impatiently, shooting a furtive glance behind him. He motioned for her to start talking fast which didn’t alleviate any concern Claire had.

“It’s almost been three weeks since we’ve seen Cam.” Claire said.

“I just sent you a picture at dinner.” Mitch said.

“That smile looked weird and you could’ve placed the medicine and tissues.”

“I placed them because he needed them. Thank you for taking Lily and I’m sorry we missed it.”

“I want to talk to Cam.” 

“He’s sleeping.”

“Don’t care. Wake him up.”

“I can’t. I gave him the extra strength nighttime-” Cam laughed from the distance as Lily was telling him a story. “Claire, I really can’t do this right now.”

“But you can lie to me.” Claire said coldly, glaring at him. “CAMERON!”

“NO!” Mitch shoved her outside and hurried out, holding the door shut behind him. “God-just…Claire, you can’t talk to him. He’s-I’m sorry I’ve been a bit off, but he’s sick and I'm trying to figure out how to break it to Lily that we can’t go to Knott’s Berry Farm like we promised her.”

“Seriously?” Claire asked, crossing her arms, brow raised.

“Yeah. She really wanted funnel cake, I’m not buying any sort of fryer and I’m good at very few stovetop things, that’s Cam’s-” He breathed shakily. “Cam’s not up to it at the moment.”

“Just gonna rip off the bandage-you’re acting like he’s abusing you and don’t tell me you’re not because I know what that looks like. I knew in the days, weeks, months and even the goddamn years since the day you came back how you acted. The kids hugging you was uncomfortable. Your cat brushing against you is startling you when it shouldn’t be each time.”

The door opened slightly, but Mitch pulled it shut. “I’m fine!” He called out. “Claire, I need you to leave. If there was anything you needed to know, I would’ve told you. No sort of abuse is going on here, and yes, including sexual. We haven’t even had sex since his birthday-no my god, you didn’t need to know that.”

“Explains way too much.” Claire shook her head. “Let’s say for a moment, I believe it. Why are you all avoidant and acting like Michael Myers is about to pop out from around the corner and stab you if all Cam has is a cold?”

“Work stress for both of us since Principal Brown still won’t leave him be during break.” A clattering noise sounded and Mitch’s eyes went wide. “Shit. Claire, please, it’s fine. I’m going inside, locking the door and not coming back out.”

Claire rolled her eyes. “Message received.”

She sighed when he did exactly that. She didn’t hear any raised or angry voices and waited around a moment just in case. When nothing happened, she returned home. Andy had come to take Joe home and the rest of the family remained. Claire, Phil, and Jay told the family what they knew of Mitch’s abuse at the hands of his ex. Well, not really his ex, more like his kidnapper but Mitch counted him as an ex. Jay admitted he could’ve been there more for Mitch and told Claire that he spent the days that Mitch was missing looking for him. 

So as not stray too far from the subject at hand, Manny said that Jay was improving a lot and that the rest of the conversation would have to happen with Mitch. Cam hadn’t been at work the entire week before spring break and since Luke wasn’t involved with theatre, music, or football, he had no idea. Manny said they’d lost the football game the Friday before break and no one had been able to contact Cam to even advise the boys through text or video call.

“If he can’t talk, it explains why he can’t coach through video or call anyone.” Jay said. “But why couldn’t he email Manny with plays? I’m sure Manny could’ve gotten a lengthy email on strategy and shown it to the team.”

“I could’ve.” Manny confirmed. “I even texted him, but he never replied.”

Claire texted Cam that Manny had been upset by the non communication leading up to the game and the result was the worst loss the boys had thus far. They still could’ve lost with Cam, and had lost before, but they at least wouldn’t have been steamrollered with him. They were about to pack it in for the night when Cam texted.

Cam: Manny, I’m so sorry. My sick brain and Principal Brown attaching himself to me like he’s my kid made me so stressed, I had to stop paying attention to everything related to football. I know I should’ve left you guys with something so that you at least would’ve had a fighting chance. Please tell the boys that I know I should’ve done better and that when I am better, we’ll put our noses to the grindstone and practice

“I mean, season’s over.” Manny said. “Technically season finished in February, but the district had a lot of issues that kept delaying the final game. That was the last one until next year. Seniors are pretty pissed.”

“And he should know that.” Jay said. “Not the pissed seniors part, but he should know about the delays and this should’ve been an important game to remember and prepare for even when he’s sick. There’s no way he would’ve put it out of his mind like that.”

Manny: Apologies for sounding offensive, you’ll need to say something better than that because the seniors are pissed that you bailed on the most important game of their high school lives. Davy happened to have a recruiter come out to see him and walked away looking disappointed after

Cam: Thanks for hammering in the guilt, bud

Manny: Sorry, but you should be prepared with what to expect when you come back

Cam: Duly noted, you should head to bed. I know I am. 

Cam then texted Claire to say that he would text more and that he was sorry he was missing out on everything and making everyone nervous. Claire texted back ‘try fucking terrified’ to which Cam said he knew and he was sorry. 

Luke and Manny stayed quiet as the others started talking. Jay and Claire were taking charge of the conversation with Phil and Gloria agreeing that they had to monitor the situation. They hated calling it a ‘situation’ but it kinda was one and they didn’t know how else to describe it.

“So all we can do is keep an eye on this?” Luke asked at the end of the talk.

“You boys can text them casually and keep them updated and actually, text classmates you know in theatre, music, or football.” Phil said. “Get any sort of info you can on how Cam’s been and the principal too. I have his number, so I’ll call to ask him to lay off Cam.”

“Maybe not that phrasing.” Alex said. “We don’t want him laid off. We just want him less stressed, especially if he’s sick.”

She tried to relax as Cam started texting a bit more, saying that it hurt that she assumed he was hurting Mitch, but was glad that she was on top of it and holding him accountable. It still didn’t completely sound like Cam. She had nightmares that night, telling her she failed when she did nothing about the signs she saw. Flashbacks of her bruised and shattered brother, crying that he wanted to die and he’d never find anyone to treat him the same.
…

He tossed and turned, whimpering. Fear and confusion shrouded his mind. A hand made its way into his and he jumped for a moment before relaxing slightly. He was still on guard. 

“Am I…safe?” He asked.

“Yes, sweetie, it’s all just a bad dream.” Soft snores sounded and a shaky, tearful whisper came out. “I’m sorry, I went too far…please…forgive me.”

Maybe his husband was able to fall back asleep, but the guilt kept him up. He squeezed his hand gently. 

What have I done?

Chapter Text

The next few days of break were pretty quiet on the Tucker-Pritchett end. Cam wasn’t entirely texting like Cam and Claire figured she wouldn’t be able to get anything out of a doctor due to confidentiality. He was only able to say that an appointment was rescheduled and that it was hardly anything to be concerned about if they were keeping on top of the cold and that Cam had been healthy last time he had a checkup. 

Then Lily and Mitch showed up on Friday, Lily looking angry and Mitch paler than ever with more pronounced eye bags. Claire stepped aside for Lily to enter, expecting her to be here for a day or two even though she had she had a full backpack and luggage. Lily stormed inside, not looking back at Mitch. 

“What, am I taking her to school?” Claire half joked, her smile sliding off as Mitch looked at her apologetically and guiltily. She glared at him sternly and lowered her volume. “Mitchell, I love Lily, but she is not my daughter. She’s yours.”

“Cam’s gotten worse and I have to give him my full attention.”

“If you’ve all been home all week, she’s probably already at least come in contact with it! If the window for infection hasn’t closed, then maybe she’s just going to get the sniffles.”

“It’s an upper respiratory virus. He hasn’t been able to talk much.”

“O-kay, but there are other means of communication and-why are you all antsy?”

Mitch had been tapping his foot and looking at his watch. “I have to check on Cam.” 

“Shouldn’t he be in bed or watching tv? And why haven’t you taken him to a doctor?”

“Yeah, but you know I worry. Germaphobe or some-Claire, please! I need this. I need you.” Mitch begged. “It needs to be just me and Cam. He doesn’t need a doctor, I can help him with this. I can handle it.”

“What the hell is going on?” Claire demanded. “Don’t try to play this off as wanting alone time, you could’ve done much better methods.”

“I have to go!” Mitch shouted, running to his car. 

Claire was startled and made to follow, but realized she was the only other person besides the seven year old in the house at the moment. She muttered curses under her breath until Lily came down from the girls bedroom. She looked devastated, but said she wasn’t ready to talk about it. Claire let Lily watch tv while she tried to contact Mitch who wasn’t answering much. As far as Mitch did tell her, Cam’s doctor had told him not to be around other people as much as possible, including Lily. Cam wasn’t answering his phone and Claire couldn’t help but notice Lily’s stiff body language every time she tried. 

Lily was quiet at dinner even though Phil tried to engage her in conversation. Haley and Luke tried too, but nothing came of it. Later that evening, Phil and Claire were in bed when the kids entered the room. Lily was in tears and ran to Claire who lifted her onto the bed, holding her. Luke put his hands up defensively and said he stopped messing with her ages ago. 

“She said weird things are happening at her house.” Haley said. “I think she wants to try to tell you, but there was a pretty bad fight last night.”

“A fight? Physical?” Claire asked, on alert.

“No, but there’s-I’m kinda confused too, she was crying and telling me so I only got bits and pieces. But there was a lot of screaming and door slamming…from Lily.”

“Wait, Lily was involved in the fight? Why?” Phil asked.

“Cam wasn’t involved. Well, not really.” Haley said.

“Lily, sweetie, why don’t you take three deep breaths and explain it clearly.” Claire said. Lily sniffled and nodded, taking a few breaths.

“Dad and I had a fight. He’s being weird about Daddy.” She said.

“Okay, define ‘being weird about Daddy’.” 

“At first, Daddy was out of bed and just not going to work. He was watching tv or cleaning and he was banned from cooking. I dunno why. He was being…I don’t know the words, but like he was not answering stuff sometimes and forgetting things. Dad said it was sick brain. Then he said Daddy got worse and I wasn’t allowed to go in the bedroom or see him. I didn’t see him for four days before last night!”

“Did he go to the doctor at all?”

“I don’t know. I hated when Dad told me to not to talk to anyone about it.”

“That’s not weird.” Luke said sarcastically. 

“What happened last night?” Phil asked.

Lily took another deep breath.
…

“Lily, could you put the washer load in the dryer for me?” Mitch asked as chicken stir fry crackled and steamed on the stove.

“Okay.” 

Lily went to do that as quickly and quietly as possible. Her heart pounded as she snuck into her dads’ bedroom without making a noise. The bedside light was on and Cam was sat up in bed, reading a book. He looked over at her in surprise. She made a ‘shh’ gesture. He put the book down as she closed the door behind her and crawled onto the bed. She hugged him, tears falling before she could control it.

“Hey, it’ll be okay…” Cam said, rubbing her back awkwardly.

“Shh!” Lily hissed. “Please whisper.”

“Are you hiding from someone?”

“You don’t sound like you have a bad cold…or any cold.”

“I don’t think I do. I’m not sure. But, maybe I can help you. Who are you hiding from?”

“No one. I wanted to see you.” Lily mumbled.

“Me?”

“Mhm. Are you sick?”

“I think I must be. But-”

The door flew open. Mitch gasped at the sight.

“Lily, get out now!” He snapped. Lily whimpered, her grip tightening on Cam. Mitch tried to calm himself. “I’m sorry. Honey, please, it’s important that you get out of here now. Please.”

“Hey, lighten up, man. She’s a kid.” Cam said, now feeling protective over Lily. “What are you going to do with her?”

“Feed her dinner, I’ll bring you a plate in a bit.” Mitch said shortly.

“Liar…” Lily cried. “LIAR! YOU TOLD ME HE WAS SICK!”

“He is sick, Lily. I just can’t go into detail with you.”

“LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!” Lily screamed. Cam’s grip tightened.

“LILY, STOP!” Mitch yelled, launching forward and trying to pry Cam’s arms off. “Cam, let go! I’m not going to hurt her! Let go, you’re like a damn boa constrictor!”

“Excuse my language, but you’re doing a piss poor job of trying to convince me you aren’t going to hurt this little girl.” Cam said sternly.

Lily blinked and looked up at him. “Can you let go?”

Cam blinked back, confused, and loosened his grip. Lily got out of bed, trembling. Cam stood up, looking at Mitch and preparing to go on the defensive.

“I’m not going to hurt her.” Mitch said, his voice cracking. “She’s our daughter, I would never.”

“Look, man, what is she-eight or something? These are her formative years.” Cam said. “This is going to traumatize her permanently if you don’t try to fix this now.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ll-I’ll talk to her.”

“Hey, kiddo.” Cam said, smiling at Lily. “Let me know if you have any issues with him when you get back to your room, okay? You know I like listening to your stories if you have any more.”

“O-kay?” Lily said.

“Cam, change your clothes and underwear and don’t sit on the bed.” Mitch said.

Lily shakily followed Mitch to the kitchen. She glared at him. “Why did he call me ‘this little girl’ and he doesn’t know how old I am? Why doesn’t he hug me like he normally does?”

“I told you, he’s…sick.”

“WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!”

“Language!”

“I don’t care! What the hell does that mean?! Sick isn’t good enough! I’m not two and I’m not dumb! Maybe I won’t get doctor words, but I can understand more than just ‘sick’.”

A clattering noise came from Mitch and Cam’s room. Mitch sighed and told Lily to stay while he dealt with it. She peeked into the hall to see Mitch taking bedsheets into the laundry room. He’d just done them yesterday. He went into the room and came back out a few minutes later. Lily had eaten all her food and crossed her arms, glaring at him.

“I’m sorry. I know you deserve a better explanation. He has temporary amnesia. Amnesia is losing your memory and he lost his memory on how to drive and do normal work things and how to use machines like the stove. His doctor says it should clear up in time and to go to him if it doesn’t by the end of the week.”

“Why couldn’t you say that before? You could’ve used Dory from Finding Nemo as an example. She has short term memory loss.”

“Huh?”

“The one you called ‘Mr Fish’ is Nemo.”

“Oh. Cam’s right, I should’ve paid more attention. But, okay. This is a bit different than a movie.”

“Why did you get scared when Daddy was holding me?”

“I-I don’t know. Instinct, I guess.”

That excuse was too weird, but Lily settled for pretending to believe him. Still…she had to talk to someone even if Dad wouldn’t like it.
…

“I’m glad you told us. That is weird.” Claire said. “When you said he cleaned the bedsheets again, how long had it been since the last time he cleaned them?”

“That morning. Dad’s been doing a lot more laundry. And he takes Daddy in the shower at night. I noticed two times and I don’t know if he did it all the time.” Lily said.

Haley opened her mouth, then shut it again. Luke scratched his head. “Why would they do so much laundry?”

No one had an answer. Well, Haley and Claire could think of one that they would never want to bring up in front of Lily. But why would he need to?

“Do you remember if there was any weird smell in the bedroom?” Haley asked. Claire gave her a warning look and Haley shot a look back. “Like not washing himself well.”

“I wasn’t paying attention.” Lily said.

“Cam didn’t come out of his room during the day?” Phil wondered aloud. Lily shook her head.

“Maybe that’s why they’re pawning her off on us.” Luke said.

“Not they, him. Uncle Mitchell.” Haley said. “It’s worrying…I think we should call Alex, maybe she has ideas.”
…

“Huh, that is weird.” Alex said over video chat. “Did Cam exhibit signs of things being off between Dad’s birthday and just before he stopped going to work?”

“I asked Manny and he said Cam was forgetting a lot of plays and mixing up numbers.” Luke said. “Everyone thought it was just stress. Dad said that Principal Brown hasn’t heard from Cam since Cam emailed about needing time off due to illness he didn’t explain.”

“It could be a factor of amnesia and for some reason, Uncle Mitchell took the absolute wrong way about it. I mean, whatever it is, he is taking the wrong way in dealing with it…” Alex typed as she was thinking. “He’s forty-three years old and just…forgot how to drive? The man’s been driving tractors since the age of eleven and cars since sixteen. I don’t buy stress causing this and we’d all know if he had an accident.”

“We’d see the damage to his car and they wouldn’t keep it from us.” Haley said. “If there’s something wrong with Cam, I feel bad for assuming…”

“We all thought that.” Claire said. 

“The way it was worded at first did sound like Cam was abusing him.” Alex said. “I highly doubted that was the case when we first discussed this on Sunday. He wouldn’t do that. That’s not Cam. You guys need to shut this down now because, technically, it can look like Uncle Mitchell is the one abusing him if he’s trying to figure this out for himself because I can guarantee you, he did not call the doctor. Uncle Cam was supposed to go in for a regular checkup last Thursday and he didn’t because I told him he should ask his doctor if he should get a night guard due to his previous braces causing him jaw pain and tell me how it goes.”

“Mitchell would be the one convincing him to get help, though, it’s all so confusing.” 

“He’s not doing it on purpose, he’s terrified and in denial. It’s obviously something way over his head and he doesn’t want to admit it because it has some ramifications that he’s been thinking about. If he has any suspicions, then only he knows. If he’s truly forgotten things like how not to set the house on fire or drive a car or the fact that he has a child…”

They let Alex’s words settle over them. It gave them an uneasy feeling, thinking about the possibilities. None of them slept well that night.

Chapter Text

In the morning, Claire called Jay and told him everything that had been discussed so far. Jay sighed heavily, said ‘damn’ and that he’d be there in the morning and Lily should go to his house. Haley took Luke and Lily to Jay and Gloria’s, just to make it less people for Mitch to have to talk to at one time, but enough to stop him from running out. 

Claire texted Mitch that Lily wasn’t coming out of the bathroom. He said he’d be there shortly. She felt bad about lying, but she had to. This was obviously hurting not only Lily, but Mitch and Cam. Even if Cam might not be aware it was hurting him, it was. Mitch knocked and Claire opened the door. 

“Which bathroom?” He asked as he entered, looking around distractedly.

“Dad’s, probably.”  Claire said.

“What?” He looked behind him as the door closed. Gloria stood in front of the door with her arms crossed. Phil was in front of the stairs. Jay came from the living room. “Gloria? Dad? Wh-what are you guys doing here? Where’s Lily?”

“At my house.” Jay said calmly. “Haley and the boys are there with her.”

“If Lily’s fine, I’m leaving.” Mitch said, glancing anxiously at his watch.

“What’s your hurry? Cam’s resting in bed, right?” Claire asked.

Mitch ignored her and turned to leave. Gloria didn’t budge. “I’m not moving, Mitch. Why are you wearing makeup on one side of your face?”

“What are you talking about?” Mitch asked. 

“Mitchell, what the hell is going on with you and Cam?” Claire demanded.

“I told you, he’s sick. Why the third degree over here?”

“Because you’re screwing it all up.”

“Yeah, I know. Let me deal with it.”

“That’s not what family does, Mitchell.” Phil said. “Family is there to support and love you. Whatever’s going on, we can help you.”

“You can’t, Phil. Trust me.”

“As it so happens, we don’t. Lily doesn’t.” Claire said.

“What do you mean she doesn’t?”

“Your child, who is seven years old, was so stressed that it all came exploding out of her. She told us about the fight. About how you wouldn’t let her see Cam for four days and you wouldn’t tell her why. And that she felt the need to sneak into your room just to see her dad. She knew what you said and even if he was sick, she felt the need to go in there and get proof because you’ve been erratic even for her.”

Mitch checked his watch, other hand firmly in his pocket. “I don’t have time for this. Not now. Please, I’ll come clean, but I have to go. Cam’s not in bed, so this is the worst possible time for your little intervention.”

“You need one.” Gloria said. “You are actually lucky, most interventions I’ve been to ended up with lots of bloodshed.”

“Well, lucky for you, no blood. I’m not a druggie and I don’t need to resort to violence, I just need to go home. I’m not even going to be mad about you lying that my daughter needed me.”

“Still not moving.”

“Claire, please. I need to go.” Mitch turned around, pure desperation on his face. He was panicking. “Please…we can do this tonight or-or tomorrow. Or maybe we can go to my house and do this.” 

“Can we, Mitchell? Can we?” Claire asked. Mitch made a strangled noise. “Don’t think I didn’t see the regret pass over your face as soon as you said that. You don’t want us there. You deliberately do not want us interacting with Cam. You don’t even want his own daughter interacting with him. If you even let him think she’s his daughter.”

“WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK I’D PRETEND HE ISN’T?!” Mitch screamed, startling everyone. He took the opportunity to try to run by them, but Jay caught him. He screamed and struggled against Jay’s grip. He didn’t notice Claire go by them and only stopped when he felt the pain of a wet washcloth wiping the left side of his face. Claire stared at the fresh bruise on his cheekbone in horror as his eyes welled up with tears. “Why…why didn’t you…leave it alone?” He shakily whispered.

Jay turned him to face Gloria and Phil while Claire went to put the washcloth in the sink. Mitch just kept repeating ‘why’. Claire’s mouth was a thin line when she came back. She lifted Mitch’s chin and gave him a hard stare.

“Because as Phil said, family doesn’t do that.” Claire said. “And I believe I made a promise which I intended to keep. There better be a pretty good explanation as to why I shouldn’t march over to your house and murder Cam or beat the shit into him.”

“H-he’s Lily’s dad.”

Claire scoffed. “Not when abuse is concerned.”

“No no no no no-you got the wrong idea-”

“Wrong? When did you get this bruise and how?”

“I uh-this morning, I was in the shower-”

“EHHHH!” Claire said, imitating a buzzer. “Classic excuse. Try again.”

Mitch’s eye caught something outside and he tried to control his reaction. “Can we move this to the kitchen, please?”

Gloria had noticed his glance and slight widening of the eyes. She opened the door and gasped in shock.

“Dios mio! Cameron, what the hell?!”

“Shit.” Mitch muttered. “Fine. Cat’s out of the bag-shit. Shit-Phil, please go get clean clothes for Cam, including underwear, and make sure Larry’s still in the house.”

“O-okay.”

Cam stood at the driveway wearing nothing but boxers and holding a shoe in each hand, looking at the house in confusion. He was about to keep walking when he heard his name and Mitch ran out to him. He checked Cam’s feet first to make sure he didn’t step on anything that could cut his foot, then dragged him to the front door. A bewildered Phil passed by them, half returning Cam’s friendly shoe-wave in greeting.

“Oh, uh-I had something to tell you.” Cam said to Mitch.

“I said to call me.” Mitch grumbled, taking the shoes and placing them by the door.

“I forgot your number.”

Mitch groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It…don’t sit on anything.”

“Why didn’t you tell me there were people? I would’ve cleaned my room.” Cam said, happily gazing at the dumbstruck Jay and Claire. Gloria was quickly figuring out what to do.

“I need to give him a shower.” Mitch mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

“Go ahead, we’ll prepare some food and tea.” Gloria said.

“Do you have hibiscus?” Cam asked.

“I don’t know, it isn’t my house.”

“They have herbal. Let’s go.” Mitch pushed Cam into the bathroom.

“I don’t like when you do that.” Cam complained. Mitch closed the door behind them and sighed, feeling everything come crashing down. “Hey…you know your bedside manner could be a little friendlier. Especially with kids.”

“Y-you’re right, I’m sorry. Let’s just get you cleaned. Did you close the front door?”

“Um…this one?”

“No, from the place you left. Did you close the door when you went outside?”

“I don’t remember.”

Cam almost came out naked before Phil came back with the clothes and a plastic bag to take the underwear to the laundry. He said the outer door was closed and Larry had been staring at Phil from the planter. Thankful that Larry was unharmed, Mitch helped Cam dress.

“Let me do the talking, okay?” Mitch said.

“If you say so.”

“You know I really want to hurt you.” Claire blurted out once they exited the bathroom.

Cam blinked, startled. He opened his mouth, but Mitch cut across him. “Please don’t. He’s…I can’t have any violence. Please.”

“Violence only begets more violence.” Cam said. Mitch shushed him and he pouted. “You never say why I can’t do the things you tell me not to.”

“Funny. Lily says the same thing.” Claire said. “Mitchell never explaining what’s going on with you and why.”

“What’s Lily in for?”

“Cam!” Mitch hissed. 

“In for? In what?” Claire asked. “Don’t silence him, Mitchell, we have a right to know. Cam, there is a bruise on Mitchell’s face. Did you hit him?”

“Mitchell?” Cam questioned. “Ohhh, Mitchell. Uh-well, I thought he was an intruder. I already apologized though…I think.”

“He did.” Mitch said. “Now’s the part where we sit and have tea and eat something. Cam, you haven’t eaten in a bit.”

They sat down and prepared for the explanation, but Mitch was still reluctant. Cam spotted the piano and gasped happily.

“Oh my gosh, I used to play as a kid.” He said, standing up.

“N-no…Cam, please…” Mitch said, taking his hand.

“Let him play.” Claire said. 

Mitch sighed and let go. Cam went to the piano and looked through sheet music. He found an upbeat piece and put it up…upside down. And then started playing a lullaby.

“It’s pretty.” Gloria said softly.

“Thanks. Oh man, this takes me back…music is magic, you know?” Cam said.

“I know.” Phil answered. Mitch had been too anxious about things he wasn’t expressing and the other Pritchetts were just awkwardly staring at Cam whose playing was as good as ever.

“See, he-he remembers how to play…” Mitch said weakly. 

Claire glared daggers at him. “Mitchell Vincent Pritchett, what the hell has been happening and why did you let it get this far?” She hissed. Gloria and Jay looked at Mitch while Phil kept an eye on Cam even though Mitch was glancing regularly at him.

“I was going to tell-”

“Bullshit. If you were going to tell us, you would’ve said something as soon as he needed to call in sick. I’ll give you some grace and say maybe for the first week or so, you thought it was some sort of bug plus stress, alright? Let’s say that.”

“I really did.” Mitch squeaked.

“Fine. We believe that.” Claire said angrily. “But as soon as he started forgetting stuff he abso-fucking-lutely should not forget like how to put his shoes on, or Lily being his daughter, or maybe how to properly drive a goddamn metal deathtrap-”

“Claire.” Jay said. Her volume had increased and Mitch was on the verge of a panic attack. “Son, I get it. It’s not the exact same thing, but watching a family member slowly deteriorate-”

“No. That’s not what’s happening.” Mitch said, finding his confidence. “What I told Lily was the truth. He has temporary amnesia and I’m trying to remind him of things daily and the doctor says it just takes time.”

“What doctor? You canceled the appointment.” Gloria said. “Maybe his doctor can’t tell us everything but he can say Cam was not there.”

“I-” Mitch’s confidence deflated. “I thought I could-I could fix him. I could make it better. It-we don’t need to spend insurance money on…amnesia.”

“If it is amnesia.” Claire deadpanned.

“It is!”

“What, you’re the expert?”

BOMMM

Cam had hit a sour note. Everyone’s attention was on him. He shakily tried to play, but hit several more sour notes. He stood up, his breathing shaky, and turned slowly to Mitch. Mitch felt a dagger to the heart at the hurt, tear filled expression on Cam’s face. 

“What…have you done?” Cam asked, tears starting to fall. Mitch choked out a sob. “Why…wh-don’t.” He said firmly, putting his hand out as Mitch tried to step towards him. 

“Cam, please, listen. I-I thought I was-”

“Stop.” Cam said. The other adults slowly got up. Mitch tried to walk towards him, but Cam went around the chair, hugged the nearest person and burst into tears. Gloria rubbed his back, looking bewildered. “Make him stop…please, make him stop…no more lies…please…”

Mitch was crying too. “I’m sorry…I thought…I was protecting you…I lied when I said I called your doctor…I-I should’ve taken you in right away.”

“Cam, honey, do you remember me or the woman you’re crying on?” Claire asked gently. Cam shook his head. “Do you know who Mitchell is?”

Cam sniffled. “He takes care of me and the little girl at the-the…place.”

“I’m your husband, Lily’s our daughter and that’s our house…” Mitch said in a strained voice. 

Cam lifted his head from Gloria’s shoulder and stared at Mitch. “What?”

“I screw everything up…I’m sorry.” Mitch sobbed. 

“Who-?” Cam’s eyes were wide and glued to Mitch’s face.

“Mitchell Pritchett, your hus-” Everyone was alarmed when Cam made a sudden move towards Mitch. Cam took his face and looked at the bruise. 

“Mitchell, who did this to you? I swear to god, unless it was an accident, I’m gonna kill the bastard.” Mitch stifled a sob. For the first time in weeks, he actually sounded like Cam.

“Accidentally you.” Mitch said. “While you’re lucid for a moment, I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry I’m trying to handle this like I know what I’m doing when I don’t.”

“You don’t have to lie to me.” Cam said, smiling. He kissed the bruise gently and then Mitchell’s lips. “I trust you, remember? And I love you. I know you’ll make the right choice even when it’s hard. Please take me to a doctor and no more lies, that’s all I ask.”

“I swear…wait, the right choice?”

“I feel so scared and lost.” Cam said. “I keep telling you. I know you’re scared and lost too, so I don’t blame you for this. You didn’t need to yell at Lily, but she was also worried. I heard that I’m a danger on the road. I hope I didn’t do anything bad, but I could and not even know it.”

“You left one of your doors open and walked here in just pee soaked boxers, holding your shoes.” Claire said. “You could’ve let the cat out by accident, drank rubbing alcohol, taken dish soap instead of medicine, or left the stove on. I’ll stop there, but you get it.”

Cam nodded. Mitch pressed his face into Cam’s shoulder. Cam kissed the side of his head and whispered. “It’s not like it’s just you and me and we can get out easy. There’s other living beings in the house. People on the roads. Please explain how this all happened because I don’t even remember. I know I’m Cam, you’re Mitchell, and we care very much for each other. If the time comes to make a choice for the safety of me and everyone around me, do it and stand by my side. I’ll be by yours.”

“Would you love me even if you think I abandoned you?” Mitch mumbled.

“If it comes to it, remind me every day that I would love you to the end of the universe.”

“It doesn’t have an end, it keeps expanding.”

“Exactly. Please remind me. Remember me if I can’t.”

Mitch wailed into Cam’s shoulder. Cam’s grip tightened slightly. He looked around at the others, curiously. He’d forgotten who they were and why the blonde lady was crying while the dark haired man held her and why the other lady and the older man were upset and holding each other. He just knew that he cared very much for Mitchell even if he had been lying before. It wasn’t to be cruel. It was because he was just as scared as Cam was. Maybe these other people were scared too because they cared for both of them. 

“I love you.” Mitch cried.

Cam rubbed his back, words came to him that had vague familiarity. 

“My love. My life. My everything…my Mitchell.”

Chapter Text

“Can we bring everyone here?” Mitch asked weakly. “I don’t want to explain it so many times and-and Lily deserves the truth.”

Claire nodded and texted Haley while Mitch got Cam to eat a little bit of the snacks. Andy was there to watch Joe, so Haley drove Lily and the teens over. Alex wouldn’t be able to make it in time, so they put her on the computer chat. Her eyes were glued to Cam, her expression said she could tell how bad it got, but she remained silent. Cam smiled at the sight of Lily when they arrived. Lily hugged them, then sat in Cam’s lap, holding him, causing Mitch to cry again. Claire rubbed his back.

“I don’t deserve that.” Mitch mumbled.

“You deserve comfort.” She said. “You just needed to allow us to comfort and help you instead of trying to take this on by yourself.”

“Lily, I-I’m sorry. I was trying to protect you from seeing Daddy fall apart. It’s not like any other breakdown he’s ever had and I wanted you to remember your happy, protective, drama queen of a dad who loves us instead of…whatever he could become. I know I need to take him to the doctor to have him diagnosed because I can’t rely on web articles and books when I don’t even know what he officially has.”

“Did you always know?” Lily asked.

Mitch shook his head. “I really did think he was sick or so stressed that he became mentally unwell and this was a way it came out of him. I just thought he needed minimal people contact because he’s an extrovert and a social butterfly who would force himself to go over his limit. I knew he wasn’t okay, but I thought he needed to rest with as little stress and people around him as possible. He even agreed before he forgot he did. That was week one. I don’t understand why it went downhill so fast.”

“Because he was scared, Mitchell. Fear is stressful.” Jay said. “I’m not saying it’s your fault, but you didn’t make it easier.”

“It’s my fault for making it worse.”

“You didn’t know it would and if he agreed, then maybe he was okay at first and didn’t know how to tell you other than saying he was scared.” Alex said.

“Maybe…” Mitch sniffled. “I didn’t think much of it until three days after Phil’s birthday. I don’t know how long it had been happening, probably not long, but he’d forget his keys when he just put them down and he’d lose his phone all over the house. I knew about the football delay and we both thought maybe it was stress due to that and being the end of the year and Principal Brown really was giving him a lot to do. And he’d forget words to songs he knows by heart, but we brushed that aside because it could happen to anyone.”

“Makes sense. What happened three days after my birthday?” Phil asked.

Mitch took a shaky breath.
…

About three weeks earlier

Mitch was winding down from an intense meeting, playing a computer game about farming. He wanted to meet Cam halfway and they agreed on real life gardening and farming games. Mitch was getting things done and checking his neatly organized crops when his phone rang. He looked at the ID, puzzled, and answered.

“Everything okay?” He asked.

“No, I-I almost had an accident and I’m on the side of the road.” Cam said, sounding shaken.

“What?! Where are you? I thought you’d be at the school like two hours ago?”

“Uhh…I’m at Burbank High School.”

“Bur-Cam, you’re supposed to be at Palisades.”

“Is that the other school in Burbank?”

“I-No, it’s in Altadena. How-wha-did you drop off Lily?”

“Yes.”

“Then why did you go out to Burbank when Palisades is a few minutes away?”

“I remembered we had a costume party day before Easter and I wanted to pick up the costumes from Pepper, so I started driving to his house and uh-forgot where he lives, then I decided to just do it after school and I blanked.”

“Blanked? What do you mean blanked?” He was going to ask why Cam would just do a trivial task like that when he had a job to do until he said the last part.

“I don’t remember driving after a certain point.”

“While you were at the wheel?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you hit anything?”

“No. I looked at the car, it seems fine. I just don’t remember anything from getting on the off ramp to pulling the brake. I checked to see if I hit something, but the car looks fine.”

“When you say blanked, do you mean you zoned out, but you could see around you? Like it was passing by like a blur.” Please tell me you’re making bad word choices.

“No, I mean I felt like I teleported or briefly blacked out.”

“Shit. Do you know where the mall nearby is?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, so do I. I’m taking a bus to get there and driving you home. It’ll be a while and I need to hang up to text Claire so she can pick up Lily. Then I’ll call you back, but I want you to stay on the phone with me and stay at the mall. Park the car and stay there, do you understand me? Focus on mall parking lot. Park car. Do not move the car again. I want your car off and keys nowhere near the ignition. Did you get all that?”

“Aye, captain.”

Mitch hurriedly got his stuff together after he texted Claire. She sent an okay and he called Cam back. Cam picked up with a cheery ‘hey honey’.

“Where are you?” Mitch asked, heart pounding as he raced down the stairs, not wanting to waste time with slow elevators. 

“Mall parking lot.”

“Good. Do you remember driving there from the school? You remember putting your foot on the pedal and the turns and parking?”

“Yes to all of that.”

“Good. Good…I’m heading to the bus station. Told the boss I had a family emergency and I’ll have someone help me get my car later. God, I’m so fucking paranoid right now…”

“Oh. Am I putting you out? I can-”

“Stay. Where. You. Are.” Mitch said firmly. “My heart is in my throat, please don’t shatter it by whatever horrifying situation could arise from you having zero memory of driving while you’re in control of a giant metal deathtrap. Are your keys in the ignition?”

“No, I put them in the uh-middle part. Uh-oh, is it concerning that I forgot what it’s called?”

“No. Barely anyone remembers what it’s called. I think it’s a console. Just don’t touch the keys again. Please. ” 

He kept making small talk with Cam, trying to gauge how much he remembered. He kept having to tell Cam not to drive and that he was already on the bus and it would be a waste of time and effort. Cam stopped talking when he got off the bus, Once there, he located Cam’s car and rushed to it…to find Cam gone. Mitch’s eye twitched in frustration upon seeing the phone on the driver’s seat.

“For the love of…at least you’re not driving. Cameron? Cameron, where are you?!” 

He fished the keys out of the car, locked the doors, and went into the mall area, calling for Cam. A couple of young women ran out of a bathroom, murmuring in confusion and shock. 

“What happened in there?” Mitch asked.

“Some guy peed all over a toilet and he’s still, um…shall I say indecent?”

“In the-please tell me he doesn’t look like this?” Mitch showed them his phone wallpaper.

“I wish I could. Is he-you know-unwell?”

“Yes, he’s my husband and he’s usually civilized.” Mitch entered the bathroom to see Cam and gasped, hurrying to fix his pants. “I’m not going to ask why you’re wet, but you can’t let it hang out like that. Did you wash your hands with soap?”

“Yes, I’m not a child.” Cam said.

“Neither are you a woman unless you have something to say.” Mitch said. “I’d still care about you, but it wouldn’t excuse this erratic behavior.”

“Huh?”

“Come on.” Mitch dragged him out and parked him on a bench. “Don’t move.” He went inside and cleaned up the pee that hadn’t made it into the bowl, and some of the floor, apologizing to shocked ladies on his way out after washing his hands.

“I’m sorry, I really had to go.” Cam mumbled, ashamed.

Mitch sighed. “Sweetie, I-I don’t know what to say. Can we get in your car first?” 

Cam nodded. Mitch had a firm grasp on his wrist as they went to the car. Cam made to go to the driver’s side, but Mitch put him in the front passenger. Cam didn’t argue.

“Can I touch this?” He reached for the hazard lights.

“No. You may not touch anything up here on the dashboard.” Mitch gestured to the area. “If you need temperature change, I’ll do it. You’re not high, are you?”

“You and Lily would be too, we all had omelets.”

“Okay, you remember something, that’s good.” Mitch pulled out of the parking lot and started driving. “Do I need to take you to urgent care or the ER?”

“I have an appointment in a couple weeks, I could bring this up to my doctor. I think I can wait until then…though, I probably shouldn’t drive. It’s a miracle I made it here in one piece.”

“No kidding. Listen, I want you taking it easy. I’ll drive you to and from work for the next few days, explain to Brown that you’re going through something and that you need less daunting tasks. Try to do what you can, okay?”

“Okay.”

“What happened with the aiming, Cam?”

“I got startled by the ladies talking and I realized I was in the wrong room.”

“How stressed are you?”

“Very. Brown’s got me doing a buttload of paperwork and I gotta get the boys in shape for the make up match. Now, if it was makeup, there’d be no stress at all.” Cam chuckled.

“M-hm.” Mitch didn’t feel like humoring him. “I’ll repeat this later, but I do not want you driving. I will take care of this.”

“Okay, I trust you.” 

Mitch had a coworker pick him up while Cam was napping so he could get his car back. 

During the week, Cam seemed relatively the same. He was able to focus on lighter tasks and told Brown he was probably coming down with something. Football was definitely a major stressor. It got to the point where he needed Mitch to pick him up early because he was constantly having breakdowns and sobbing in his office, unable to really explain why. He was exhausted after each day, even the early ones. Cooking had been banned that weekend and then Mitch noticed the memory losses increased. 

“Lovely girl, and funny.” Cam said after Mitch had put him to bed. Mitch sat up next to him, reading a book on psychology.

“Definitely. She’s got your humor and my dry wit.” Mitch’s stomach dropped at the look of confusion on Cam’s face. “You do know who she is, right?”

“Do you take care of her too?”

“Well, um, yes. Lily is our daughter.”

“I-oh god…I forgot-shit, Mitchell, you have to do something.” Cam looked at him imploringly. “I can’t forget her or you. Please, call the doctor on Monday.”

“I’ll take care of this.”

“Thank you.”

Mitch tried not to shake as he turned off his light. The guilt washed over him. He had no intention of calling the doctor. He could handle this himself. He didn’t need someone telling him Cam was-stop it. Don’t think like that. It’s just a weird bug or amnesia, it’s not…it can’t be…

I can’t lose him. If I get him diagnosed, I lose him.

Cam had wet the bed that night, cementing Mitch’s decision to fully separate him and Lily for a while. He felt overwhelming guilt when he saw her disappointed face. He’d already raised suspicion by texting for Cam. No messages since Claire started questioning the situation were him. It was all Mitchell. 

All me. Screwing everything up. 

He hated seeing himself in the mirror. What he had become. What he had done. 

Easter Sunday, Cam was tossing and turning in bed, whimpering. Mitch put his hand in Cam’s, feeling him jolt before relaxing slightly, though the guarded tension was still there. He recognized Mitch.

“Am I…safe?” Cam asked.

“Yes, sweetie, it’s all just a bad dream.” Soft snores sounded and a shaky, tearful whisper came out. He knew the guilt would keep him up that night. “I’m sorry, I went too far…please…forgive me.” 

What have I done?

The next four days before Lily snuck into the room were Mitch continuing to try and remind Cam of his lost memories. Of him trying to pretend Cam was going to get better with time even though he started wetting himself during the day as well as every night. Pretending that his daughter didn’t resent him for this. That his family would love him again when they found out because they would. He knew they would find out somehow. 

And he knew Cam wasn’t getting better. In fact, it was very much the opposite.

Mitch was making eggs and sausage, enjoying the sunny Saturday morning, ears perked for sounds of Cam when Larry distracted him by needing to eat. He fixed Larry’s food and thought he heard the bathroom door. He was looking in the fridge when he heard the door to the kitchen open. He hadn’t heard a flush, but that was a lesser concern than actually peeing inside the toilet.

“You make it okay?” Mitch asked, closing the fridge and taking the marker to make a note on the dry erase board.

“Where?” Cam’s hoarse voice asked.

“In the toilet-” 

BAM!

“CAM, WHAT THE HELL?!” The marker clattered to the floor. Mitch fought the nasty flashbacks, hand cupped to the left side of his face.

“WHERE AM I?! WHO ARE YOU?!” Cam bellowed, fists raised, his eyes wild with fear.

“Wait! Wait, I-I’m sorry. I’m taking care of you. You’re supposed to be here.” Mitch said, backing up slightly, his flight instinct screaming at him to run. But he fought it. He couldn’t run from what he caused, especially when Cam was so vulnerable. “Cam. Cameron, you know me. Please…you’re safe. I’ve taken care of you up to now, remember?”

Cam’s fists lowered. “You have? I’m…what do you mean I’m supposed to be here? It doesn’t look like a hospital.”

Mitch’s stomach twisted. No, but you should be in one. “It’s a home. My name is Mitchell and I-I’m taking care of you.”

“Oh…ohhh, I’m sorry. I hope the facility doesn’t give me someone new, you seem like you have a handle on it and I just caught you off guard. I’m really sorry, I just-I thought I was kidnapped.”

“It’s okay.” Mitch tried not to shake. “Let’s eat and then we can uh-assess the situation.”

“Cool. Can I help with making food?”

“No. You’re not allowed to cook. It’s fine. I can do this. It’ll be okay, Cam. Just sit down and let me do this. Let me-” Mitchell’s throat felt tight “-let me make you better.”

“Okay.” Cam said happily, unintentionally driving in the guilt. Mitch tried not to let the tears spill as he finished preparing breakfast, his cheek stinging. “Are you going to be alright?”

“Perfectly.” Mitch said in a high pitched voice. 

Chapter Text

“I told myself things were okay, Cam ate breakfast. He had an appetite and it seemed like he recognized me at least as his caregiver.” Mitch said. “I was trying to figure out how to work this without anyone suspecting, but you caught me off guard with a Lily emergency and I had to act normal. I was too paranoid thinking about what may have happened that I didn’t think the makeup through and I just set Cam in front of the tv.”

“I hate to scare Lily, but this is already terrifying enough, so I’m sorry.” Claire said. “Mitchell, what would you have done if he got the baseball bat or something else that could be used as a weapon and thought you or Lily was an intruder? You were already playing a dangerous game by sleeping next to him.”

“I’ve barely slept and trained myself to wake up at his movements. And lately I was awake on the den couch, doing work on my laptop.”

“You’re about due for a breakdown and I think we jump started it.”

Mitch shook, his face in his hands. Lily moved from Cam’s lap and went to his other side. Cam hugged Mitch. He whispered that it would be okay. 

“I don’t hate you, I just wanted you to stop lying.” Lily said. 

“I’m not sure what comes next in an intervention, but we’re here for you.” Cam said. 

“Cam…” Mitch sobbed. 

“What comes next is diagnosis and acceptance.” Alex said. “You can’t name one thing you think he has because you’re afraid it’ll be finite.”

“I can’t…I can’t…”

“Is it about me?” Cam asked. Jay nodded. "I really don’t know what I have, but I’d like to know. I won’t be mad because I know you were scared. Let’s learn together so we’re not so scared.”

“I-I can’t say it…”

“If he does have it. Or one of the things you can’t say, you will have to.” Alex said. 

“Hey, how’d you get that bruise?” Cam asked. 

“You…don’t remember what just happened?” Haley asked. “Uncle Mitchell, I really want Alex to tell us what she thinks he has because-because I don’t get it and I know Luke doesn’t either, but I know she doesn’t want to take that from you.”

“Wait, is it an intervention for Mitchell? I thought it was about me?”

“It’s both.” Claire said. “Mitchell thought he could research and figure it out on his own. Mitchell, it’s not like hearing it will make everything click and he’s a different person or whatever hallmark movies would make. He’s not going to react much, if at all, to the name.”

Mitch shook in Cam’s arms. “I-I think…he has-he-most signs point to Alzheimer’s.”

Alex nodded grimly, she’d been thinking the same thing. As Claire said, there wasn’t much a reaction from Cam. Gloria explained it to Haley and Luke with Alex chiming in.

“What did you think would happen if you got him diagnosed and told us?” Claire asked her brother softly after Gloria had explained. “Did you think we’d throw you both to the wolves or take Lily away and leave you in the dust?”

“I thought you and the doctor would make me…would make me put him in a home and-and I’d be alone. I’d be…I-I can’t. God, I didn’t even think about Lily, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Lily said.

“It doesn’t automatically mean that.” Alex said. “I’m not an expert, but there are ways he can stay home while we all learn how to work with this. And I mean all of us. Your family wasn’t going to leave you over this. And we weren’t going to call child services and have Lily taken away, if anything, we’d want her to stay at Grandpa’s or our house for a while. Not forever. We’re all her forever family, but you’re her parents.”

“Alex is right and as Phil said, family is there to love and support you.” Claire said. “Let us. Let us go through everything together. Diagnosis to…whatever lies ahead. We’re not letting you walk it alone anymore.”

“Let’s take it one step at a time first.” Jay said. “Official diagnosis and learning how to help him. Then we get our story straight for the Tuckers.”

“God, his family’s going to be…” Mitch groaned, face in his hands. “Dad, I need you to protect me from Barb. She touches me uncomfortably and Cam and I were working on how low contact we wanted to go before this. Once she hears about Cam, I-I don’t know if she’ll try to drag him home or coddle him, but she’ll be unbearable and Cam can’t defend either of us.”

“We’ll all protect you.” Jay said. The others nodded. “Lily, do you know anything about this?”

“A little.” Lily answered. “Daddy said that Grandma wasn’t being nice to Dad and disrespecting his personal space.”

“Basically, yeah.”
…

A week and a half later

Dr. Wyatt introduced herself to Mitch and Cam as a specialist brought in by Dr. Munroe, Cam’s primary care physician. Dr. Munroe had seen Cam on Tuesday following the confrontation and called in Dr. Wyatt to meet with them the following Wednesday after getting test results back and confirming that Cam did have Alzheimer’s. 

“I…how much time did I cost him?” Mitch asked hoarsely. 

“No more than what he’d usually have with treatment. The highest points of stress were when he was scared for your daughter and the morning he hit you” Dr. Wyatt said. “I don’t need to report abuse as Dr. Munroe told me you were worried about. You weren’t acting with malice, you came from a place of worry and love. I get it. I see it all the time. You’re one of the luckier ones, though. I’ve had patients near on their death beds with the amount of stress and lack of care. You tried your best. No point in moping or beating yourself up about it. What we can and should do now is move on and discuss treatment.”

“I-I have to put him in a home or somewhere he’s monitored…”

“Not necessarily. He has mild to moderate dementia and seems to get by well with reminders. He can still read notes you leave him, so leave him reminders. Label some pictures and remind him who he is, who his family is. You can keep him home as long as he is in his present stage and if he doesn’t worsen.”

“H-how long’s life expectancy?”

“Typically three to twelve years, but some can go past twenty. It depends on how it progresses. It could stop here, meaning you’d be able to continue home care with a daily care provider.”

“O-oh…he needs one, right?”

“Do you work?”

“Yes, but I’ve been thinking of being self employed.”

“You will need help and I promise, I will look for the best provider I can and email you references with extensive background and have interviews, it won’t be a process you undergo alone. And I agree with your family in that you have people backing you.”

Mitch sniffled. Cam held his hand and smiled. “We’ll be okay.”

“I feel so guilty.” Mitch mumbled.

As I said, there’s nothing to be gained moping about it now.” Dr. Wyatt said. 

“Chin up, we’ll get through this together.” Cam said cheerily. Mitch squeezed his hand.

Dr. Wyatt smiled at him. “Correct. Do you need a moment to gather yourself?”

Mitch blew his nose on an offered tissue and shook his head. “No, I-I’m good.”

The doctors got to the point, explaining exactly what they needed to do. Cam nodded, looking like he was making an effort to act like he was retaining the information. Mitch told him not to do that and that he’d explain later if needed. 

Mitch tried not to shake as he drove them home after the appointment. He’d texted Claire and she said they’d meet at the Tucker-Pritchett house to discuss further. Messages had been left with Cam’s family who hadn’t responded.

“Dad! Daddy!” Lily hugged them.

“Oh? I’m…uh-hey, kiddo.” Cam said. 

“I’m your daughter, don’t be sorry for forgetting.”

“It’s okay, we’ll remind you. We’re going to have a lot more reminders around.” Mitch said. 

“Oh goodie. Um…I think I remember how to drive. Am I still not allowed to cook?” Cam asked.

“No driving. The reason I had you stop is because you somehow didn’t crash your car in the few minutes you got from the offramp to Burbank High and had absolutely no memory of doing that. You blanked out. You called me and nearly gave me a heart attack because you suggested driving home.”

“Yikes, yeah no, let’s not do that.”

“Maybe some cooking with me or Lily in the kitchen. And with instructions.”

“I like company.”

“Glad you do, because we’ll have a lot more of it. Mostly welcome.”

“Mostly?”

“Hm…let’s cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“But no more lies, right?”

“No.”

Cam hugged him. The family came over to talk about what they learned. Cam was told everyone’s names again. They’d brought some games with them so Cam could try to retrain his short term memory at least. He had spurts of remembering who was who. He definitely felt comfortable that Mitch was there. He’d forget they were a couple, but the bond they had seemed to be the only thing truly not forgotten even if he didn’t know why.

Cam remained relatively the same as they came to the end of the school year. He’d gotten used to the routines and was in charge of packing school lunch for Lily. She or Mitch would make a sandwich the night before and put it in the fridge. This gave Cam a task to do and he was able to follow the reminders on post its or his phone. Mitch had some interviews with caregivers and they were waiting to hear back to do a home interview with Cam. Mitch had transitioned to having his own firm with some dedicated employees basically holding down the fort while he was mostly caring for Cam. He offered to pay them extra, but they refused.

Around the end of May, Dede tried visiting and made Cam lash out by verbally prodding him. He didn’t lash out physically, but her quips and comments got under his skin. Claire came over and Dede started attacking her, then Claire told Mitch how bad her childhood had been. Mitch felt bad about being blind to it all, but after Dede was successfully kicked out of the house and told not to come back, Claire said that she could understand why he needed her at the time. 

“I need you more.” Mitch said. 

A few days into summer break, there was furious knocking at the door while Lily was showing Cam how to cook a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch and Mitch was cleaning the kitchen. Bewildered, Mitch told them to stay and not let the sandwich burn as he checked. He went to the door and groaned once he saw through the peephole. He opened the door and was about to say a greeting when he was buffeted out to the way. 

Barb Tucker stormed in and glanced around, her gaze locking in on Cam. Lily turned off the burner just in case things were going to get ugly. Cam put himself protectively in front of her as the woman rushed at him. He put his arms up in defense when she hugged him. He tried to wriggle out of her grip.

“Barb, stop!” Mitch said, trying to pry her off. 

SMACK

“HEY!” Cam snapped, pushing Barb away and hugging Mitch. “Who the hell are you?”

“Cameron, I’m your mama…” Barb sounded hurt.

“You barged in here and hit him.” Cam stated. Behind him, Lily picked up his phone and texted Claire and Jay. “I don’t believe you.”

“S-she is your-your mother.” Mitch said, his voice cracking.

“Well…I’m not fond of how you’re acting, Mother.”

“Cammie, baby, I wanted to see you.” Barb said. “He’s kept this from your family near a month.”

“He was scared. I don’t blame him.” Cam held Mitch a little tighter. “He only did it because he cared so much about me.”

“He’s filled your head with that, if he really cared he wouldn’t have done it in the first place-”

“Get out.” Cam said in a low tone as Mitch let out a sob. “If you want to talk like adults, then talk and behave like an adult. But if you’re going to act like a petty teenager, get out.”

A timer on Cam’s phone went off. He looked around at Lily.

“Uh-bathroom.” She said, pointing to the door. Cam nodded. The front door opened and Claire entered. Cam looked quizzically at her. “Daddy, it’s okay, she’s a friend. Go to the bathroom.”

“Thanks.” Cam looked at the top of Mitch’s head as he stifled sobs. Something told him that he’d gotten used to trying to silently cry. He didn’t like that one bit. “Mitch, I think I need help.”

Cam took his hand and they went into the bathroom. Claire and Barb started arguing. Lily knocked on the bathroom and said she’d be in her room. Cam replied with an ‘okay’ as he went. He did alright, though his worry for Mitch made him turn and he got pee on the edge of the toilet seat. Mitch helped him pull his pants back on, then shakily cleaned it up as Cam washed his hands. 

“I-”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Cam said warmly. He frowned. “Um…I uh…why do you cry so quietly? It’s not anything I did, is it?”

“No, no. The exact opposite, actually. I-I had an abusive…partner, I guess. After I escaped, I was trapped in painful memories and so much hurt and distrust and-and you pulled me out of the darkness. Not like you saved me from him, but from the memories. You made new memories with me to overpower the bad and taught me to trust again. To be…human.”

“Hold onto those memories, hm? Hold onto our relationship.”

“Our love. We’re husbands.”

“Well, then I especially don’t like that my mother doesn’t seem to like my husband. Anything else you know about my family before we go out there? ‘Cause we can’t hog the bathroom.”

Mitch let out a watery chuckle. “Your dad is kinda meh on the whole married to a man part, but he’s accepted you being gay and he’s friendly with me. Your older brothers are homophobic and hate you. Your sister accepts us and is decent to me, but she’s like a rough and tumble type. Like ‘I punch to show affection’.” Cam laughed, causing Mitch to smile. “Your nana uh-she’s a really old lady with old fashioned ‘values’. She doesn’t like me, but she kinda accepts you. I think the rest of your family is pretty chill about gay and us. I’m not quite sure. Your mom, out there, she-I don’t know if she’s always accepted you, but she tries to placate you, Pam, and your older brothers. And she touches me like she’s the one married to me.”

“Gross. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. And um…who’s the blonde again? I remember her coming over and she was there when we had the talk um…one of us needed some sort of intervention-point is, I know she’s good.”

“My sister, Claire. Protective and will unhinge her jaw to snap at anyone who dares hurt us.”

Cam snorted. “Okay, I doubt she can unhinge her jaw, but everything else I believe. I believe you over my mother.”

The two of them went out to see Barb and Claire glaring at each other. 

“No fighting.” Mitch said, his voice crack betraying his attempt to be firm.

“Look. He was already told that whatever’s happened has been done and he doesn’t need to wallow in self pity.” Cam said, looking to Claire for confirmation. She nodded. “Mother, I need you to be calm and behave like an adult.”

“Cammie, you have such a horrible disease that destroys your brain and I have no idea what he’s been telling you.” Barb said. 

“I know that. I know what I have even if I forget the name sometimes. I know I’m in a safe place with safe people who can help me. And he really hasn’t said much except that my family would want to visit. Is my dad here too?”

“No, He’s with Nana. We want you to visit her because she’s dying.”

“Oh.”

“You-you should go.” Mitch said. 

“I don’t think she’d wanna see you.” Barb said. 

“Okay, then, someone will go with you.” Claire said. “Me or my dad, we’ll stay in a motel with Mitch, Cam, and Lily. Cam can go into the room with someone-he has to.” Barb had given her a disapproving look. “Doctor’s orders.”

Barb sighed in defeat. “Fine.”

Chapter Text

Jay ended up going with them. Mitch asked him to watch over Lily while he took care of Cam. The ride went well, Cam kept wanting more water, but Mitch didn’t want to risk an accident. They got some looks because Cam’s complaining sounded like a child and some kids were giggling at him. Despite getting there with no accidents and having a hydrated, fed, and happy Cam, the night ended on a mortifying note as his brain reminded him he was married to Mitch.

“Whaat are you doing?” Mitch mumbled sleepily as Cam started spooning him and kissing the back of his neck. Cam groaned lightly, humping him. Mitch’s eyes sprang open. “Cam, stop.” He whispered furiously. He hoped Lily was asleep, but knew Jay had just turned off the tv.

“My husband…” Cam mumbled.

“Yes, but not now. Please, Cam. Force field. Do you remember what that means?”

“I feel it…” Cam complained.

“Good lord. Cam, we can’t. It’s not appropriate with our daughter and my father in the room on the next bed.”

“Can we have sex?”

“At home.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, I promise.”

“How do I make it not hard?” Mitch sighed, shushing him and bringing him to the bathroom, locking the door. “Do I pee it out?”

“Shh! Don’t make a sound. I’m going to uh-I’m going to touch you there, okay? I worry about you hurting yourself.”

“Ohh, are you going to give me a blow-mmph!” Mitch had pressed his hand on Cam’s mouth. 

“No, it’ll be hand. Do not make a sound, do you understand me?” Mitch whispered. “I don’t want to explain this to a seven year old. I want the worst case scenario to be my dad pretending he didn’t hear anything. This is one thing I would like you to forget. I want to forget.”

Mitch brought him to the toilet and showed him how to do it properly, keeping him focused so he didn’t get it anywhere else. He’d rather clean up pee or even poop. That could be explained without mortification. Once they were done, they returned to bed. 

In the morning, Mitch searched Jay and Lily’s faces for any sign of acknowledgement. Lily remained oblivious and Jay had the best poker face in the family. They went to the Tucker Family farm and Jay asked Mitch to look at something while Lily led Cam to the house. 

“You’re not going to-?”

“No. Just going to tell you the walls aren’t that thick, his volume didn’t change and I discovered I didn’t bring any type of headphone. I’m assuming you told him not to mention it and I’d say something to the effect of not addressing it now or ever. Lily was asleep.”

“Okay. I’m…I’m relieved Lily was asleep.” Mitch said, unable to contain the flush of embarrassment. “Okay, yeah, moving on…I should check the…thing…you go ahead…”

Jay nodded shortly in understanding and went to the house. Upon entry, he heard Pam and Barb arguing. He cleared his throat and they beckoned him in, saying that Lily and Cam went to look in on Nana with Merle. There were other members of the family around the house and back yard. Two men sat at the table with stony expressions, looking a lot like Pam and Cam. 

“So, you guys Sam and Tam or something?” Jay said, trying to break the ice. He only succeeded in getting an even icier stare. Pam smiled slightly.

“I mean, we heard it plenty of times, but it was funny.” Pam said. 

“Shut up, Pameron.” One of the men said. “Who are you, the priest?”

Jay snorted. “I’m not exactly a holy man…okay, that sounded bad. I meant, no I’m here with Cam’s family.”

“You his caretaker, then?” 

“No, Paul, he’s Cam’s father in law.” Pam said. 

Jay’s face clouded. He could feel the atmosphere get even colder, such a thing he didn’t know was possible until now. Pam crossed her arms, glaring at her brothers. 

“I’m a Vietnam vet and I’m not afraid to kick anyone’s ass who messes with my son or his husband and daughter.” Jay said.

“That’s who that kid is?” The other man asked.

“My granddaughter, Lily.”

The man rolled his eyes. “Figures that idiot would name her after a pig.”

“So what if he did?” Mitch asked, having entered. “It was obviously a special name to him and if I had to pick in a moment of pressure, I’d have probably given her a name from a musical that didn’t hold any other meaning.”

“I’m named after a pig? Cool!” Lily said as she, Cam, and Merle came down the hall.

“Did you know that? If not, I’m sorry.” Cam told Mitch.

“No, you said it was your aunt and to be honest, I don’t blame you. I would’ve shot it down and never let you pick a name again, knowing how I was at the time.” Mitch said. “If Lily doesn’t have a problem with it, then I don’t.”

“I might not be the Cam you know, but I’m sure he’d be sorry about lying to you.” Cam hugged and kissed him. They broke apart, hearing disgusted groans.

“Lordy, here we go…you idiots are gonna be the worst about this.” Pam said. “Nana’s dying and our baby brother is-is…sick.”

“He been sick a long time.” Merle junior said. 

“Junior, hush!” Merle said. “Your sister is right, we’re here for your grandmother and we don’t wanna make Cam’s condition worse.”

Jay and the Tucker-Pritchetts decided to meet the rest of the family. Jay got along with Merle’s siblings who were telling stories. They all acted pretty normal around Cam, it was just when he entered the house that Barb would act like he would break at any moment. Paul and Junior were avoiding Cam. Cam asked his mom why there weren’t as many pictures up. Pam told him later that Barb always hid all of them when the older two came by. 

Cam stuck by Mitch and wanted to go in to visit his nana again while Jay and Lily were outside with the others. His timer for a bathroom check went off and he said he could go himself. Mitch was about to check on him when Nana said something. Fearing it might be her last words and not wanting the family to miss out, he approached her. 

“Hello? Um…it’s…Cam? Or your family, I-agh! Ouch!” She’d grabbed his hair.  “Let go! Let go of me! Damn, why is your grip so…let go!”

“What’s going on? What’re you saying to her?”

Mitch felt his skin crawl uncomfortably as Barb's hand ran up his back. A split second later, Nana’s hand dropped and she was dead.

“What’s going on?” Cam asked.

“He said to let go and she’s dead!” Barb said. “Cam, he’s-he killed her!”

“I thought she was saying her last words and I was going to pass them onto you when she grabbed my hair.” Mitch said, scared to look anywhere else. “Barb saw.”

“Oh god.” Jay muttered. Mitch turned and his eyes fell to Cam who Jay was turning away from people trying to come in. Mitch sprang up and fixed Cam’s pants, trembling.

“She saw…it happened so fast, but she saw Nana holding my hair and-and she touched me, then Nana’s hand fell down but I-I couldn’t…I couldn’t think about anything but-but her hand on my back-”

Cam hugged him. “I believe you.”

Barb tried to spread that Mitch told Nana to ‘let go’. Then Elbert Tucker snapped and said that even if he had, it wasn’t to be nasty, she was old and probably in pain. Jay added that bodies did weird things when dying sometimes. Everyone except Barb, Paul, and Junior agreed. 

Cam and Lily had a look around his old room after the funeral, Mitch and Jay watching from the doorway as Pam told them stories. Cam did tend to exaggerate, but most of his stories were based on the truth. Mitch yelped in pain and they turned to see Jay pulling him away from Paul who had twisted his arm backwards. Jay stood in front of his son.

“You’re not even sick, are ya?” Paul snarled at Cam. “What the hell are you trying to do?”

“Yeah, ‘cause Cam loves walking ‘round all indecent like.” Pam said dryly. 

Cam went to try to hug Mitch when Paul punched him in the stomach. Cam put his arms up in defense as Paul tried again. Then Pam shoved Paul and a fight broke out. Lily managed to slip out of the room when Pam shoved Paul down. Mitch was desperately trying to pull Cam away. Then Junior was there, taunting them and insulted Mitch. Cam broke and hit. It was chaos until Jay was finally heard, yelling at everyone to stop. 

“Pameron, what the hell?!” Barb snapped. 

“Paul hit Cam first!” Pam said. “Cam wasn’t even trying to fight back until Junior got all pissy.”

“Fighting at your nana’s funeral, oh what she would say…”

Cam was holding his head, shaking. “What she would…what?” He breathed. 

“Cam?” Mitch said, trying to assess him.

“You’re being lied to.” Paul sneered. “You’re being taken from your family-ow!”

“Shut up!” Pam snapped. “Cam, I’m your big sister. You’re safe with Mitchell.”

“He…was scared…didn’t…mean…” Cam’s eyes were squeezed shut. 

“Cam, I’m here. Focus on my voice.” Mitch said. “Cam, you’re going to be okay-”

Barb shoved Mitch aside, but Jay got in between them. 

“Jay?” Cam said weakly. “Jay…Pritchett…”

“Yeah, it’s me. Can you check on Lily for me?” Jay asked.

“The little girl? Is she okay?”

“Probably, but let’s go make sure.” Jay said, one arm guiding a bleary eyed Cam and his other hand pulling Mitch who was pale and shaky.

Merle told the rest of his children to stay. Cam was put in a chair and given water. Lily approached him. 

“Hey, kiddo.” Cam said, trying to smile. “Um…did we move facilities?”

“No, we’re visiting your family.” Jay said. 

Cam gasped, looking at Mitch. “Did someone hurt you?”

Mitch nodded. “Don’t worry about it. Your dad is dealing with it. I-I think we should leave…your family was…I didn’t want to be here for any other reason but you.”

“I’m grateful.”

They left without further fight, but Cam had regressed slightly which meant the need for an assigned caretaker. Five people came to be interviewed, four women and a man. Mitch had asked for women or straight men. He was nervous that Cam would be attracted to whoever came to take care of him. They were all honest about what they could and couldn’t do. Two of the women hadn’t felt they had the experience enough yet, only a few patients under their belts and none of them had been for very long. One preferred working with the elderly. It came down to two, then the woman had to move. 

“Hi, my name is Harvey Waller.” 

The man had a kind face and seemed relatively young, his fluffy brown hair and hazel eyes were lighter than Cam’s and he had a bit of a mustache. If Mitch was being honest, the man was attractive. His credentials were legit and he’d been working for well over a decade. Mitch was surprised that Harvey was only two years younger than himself.

“I could broaden my search and request outside help if you wish.” Dr. Wyatt said. 

“Um, I feel weird talking about that in front of Harvey…” Mitch mumbled.

“Don’t be.” Harvey said. “I came in with the understanding of why you didn’t want someone hot and young. I have been flirted with by patients, men included, and I promise I am not tempted in any way. I’m straight and have been married for fifteen years. Known my wife since college. A couple of our classes overlapped. We have three kids.” He pulled out his phone and showed pictures. “Harper’s the oldest at sixteen. Sasha and Max are thirteen year old twins, they’re all adopted.”

“Aw, cute girls.” Cam said. 

“Max is a boy.”

“Oh, sorry. Your kids are all cute.”

“Thanks, it’s okay. He’s just started transitioning. This is the first picture he hasn’t hated. He agreed to wait until he was older to go through old pictures in the attic because there are some pictures with my parents who passed when he was four. I went into this field because of my parents. I wanted to better understand it and help people because I wasn’t able to help them.”

“Um-I um…” Mitch squeezed Cam’s hand.

“I don’t blame you for wanting to know. I get it.”

Silence fell until Cam broke it happily. “Mr. Warl-uh-what did you say your name was?”

“Waller, but please call me Harvey.” Harvey said. “We’ll be seeing a lot of each other, so we’ll use first names.”

“Okay, Harvey. I wanna show you cards and stuff people sent me. I think they liked me at my old job uh…Palisades?” Cam looked to Mitch who nodded. Cam looked proud of himself for remembering. “Yeah, I got cards, letters and gifts. Some call me coach. I coached…football?”

“Yes.” Mitch said. “You can get them.”

Cam went to find them, Lily trailing behind to make sure he stayed on task. 

“Even if I wasn’t straight and taken, I wouldn’t go after him or you.” Harvey said gently. “I’m not that kind of guy. I’m not going to take advantage of a patient and risk everything I’ve worked for. I’m not going to harm you or your daughter either. If you want, my background is available for looking at and I would be more than willing to let you call my wife to verify my character. I’m a man doing my job and I intend to work with you and your family on doing so.”

“I believe you.” Mitch said.

Dr. Wyatt didn’t need to come for the next time Harvey did. The rest of the family came by to meet him and so did some of Cam and Mitch’s friends. The gay group was a bit awkward about the whole thing because they didn’t know what to do. They’d known Cam for nearly twenty years and until this point, the only big change was that he toned down some of his overdramatic tendencies when he met Mitch. They’d seen how both of them changed each other for the better and came to meet somewhere in the middle of both of their personalities.

This was something far beyond what any of them expected. Pepper tentatively asked if the two of them could still go to events and Mitch said he wasn’t sure. Pepper and Ronaldo wanted them to be the best men at their wedding. Harvey said they’d have to see how Cam was doing closer to the date, but that they shouldn’t overly rely on them being the only best men in case they had to stay home. Mitch said they could possibly attend as guests with the warning of leaving early if Cam needed. 

There weren’t Fourth of July celebrations because Cam was still trying to process everything that happened in Missouri. Dede kept trying to insert herself, but Mitch cut her off. He’d realized that Cam had been patient for years, subtly trying to get Mitch to see her true colors. The Tucker family except for Barb, Paul, and Merle Jr were welcome at Mitch and Cam’s. The three of them had been cut off following the fight and Cam’s regression. 

Slowly, Cam got back to the point where he didn’t need Harvey to come daily, so they established a weekly check in. Cam was following his routines and was excited every time he remembered to go to the bathroom properly even though half the time, he’d forget to flush and sometimes he’d forget to put his pants back on and just step out of them. Lily would try to be aware of when he was in the bathroom so she could look away and ask if he had underwear on if Mitch wasn’t on top of it immediately. He’d apologize if he wasn’t. She said it could be worse, but she still didn’t want to see it.

“I feel like we’re-I’m taking away from your childhood…” Mitch admitted one night. He’d put Cam to bed and was checking on Lily.

“I still feel like a kid.”

“It’s just that…you’re so young and I already messed up, I’m sorry."

“You’re gonna make yourself crazy, Dad.” Lily said, smiling. “Daddy says you apologize too much. It’s okay. He could’ve been sick from other things and it wouldn’t mean I didn’t know. I’m happy for our family to help you be able to help us. He tells me he likes you a lot.”

“He does?”

“He thinks we’re your patients again and he doesn’t know if it’s okay to flirt with you.”

Mitch smiled and kissed her forehead. “Thank you. That really helps. Goodnight, sweetie.”

“Night, Dad.”

Mitch crawled into bed, hearing the crinkling of the plastic under the sheet. Cam stirred, but didn’t flinch away when Mitch took his hand. 

I knew you were still in there somewhere, Cam.

Chapter Text

Seven years later

Fourteen year old Lily entered the nursing home with Mitchell. She’d just finished her freshman year and her friend Quinn had volunteered here since the start of high school. Cam remembered Quinn and liked to talk to them, though he kept calling them ‘her’. Quinn said they didn’t mind as long as he remembered to call them Quinn. 

Cam had been placed here shortly after his fiftieth birthday when he showed significant regression in motor functions and cognitive abilities. Mostly the body movement part past the point where Harvey could do it with Mitch’s help. Harvey was a familiar presence in Cam’s life and went with him, working in the same place as Cam’s caregiver. 

Up until the age of fifty, any regression was minimal and able to be quickly remedied by reminders and rote memory games. He’d woken up one morning, screaming in pain, saying that his joints were literally on fire and trying to put them out in the shower. He wrapped the cord around himself and yanked it from the wall before Mitch could do anything. Luckily, he could turn the water off so the water damage wasn’t too bad. 

The family visited often. Joe was a little uncertain because he didn’t really have memories of Cam that weren’t him forgetting everything, having been three at the time it all went down. Jay and Gloria told him it was okay to be confused and he’d likely be confused for a long time. It was hard to gauge the personality of someone when you’re told it’s not really like that. 

“Hey, Harvey.” Mitch said. “Cam up to anything today?”

“He’s been a bit quiet and moody, but I’ll ask.” Harvey said.

Mitch’s smile fell as Harvey walked towards the rooms. He sighed heavily. Lily had been doing exams, so he had to focus on helping her and his work load had increased. He had a hard time taking care of himself when he was full of anxiety for all three of them. Harvey came back and said that Cam wanted to see Lily. Mitch felt a pang of guilt and nodded, trying not to cry. Lily hugged him and went with Harvey as Mitch sat down and called Gloria.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“Physically. Cam’s been moody and he-he doesn’t want to see me…he’s with Lily, but-but he…what if he remembers all the wrong things?”

Gloria sighed. “There’s not much to do if it’s that. I’m sure Lily will remind him of all the good things. Maybe she will tell you why. We can visit tomorrow if you want.”

“Please.”

Lily came out a while later, looking solemn and confirming that Cam didn’t want more visitors today. Mitch teetered on the edge of asking. He calmed himself enough to drive to the Dunphys house and broke when he was in Claire’s arms.

“I was asked not to tell you what he said.” Lily said. “It’s nothing bad and I asked if he was mad at you and reminded him that he told you to make the tough decisions. He said he knew you did what you thought was best and he wasn’t mad. It’s hard to tell his tone because he just sounded sad the whole time, but I don’t think he doesn’t want you there at all. He didn’t tell me why and I felt like I shouldn’t ask. Harvey said he stopped being as social.”

Gloria went in to visit the next day, but was denied. Jay and Claire tried on separate occasions and Phil called. Cam didn’t want to see or talk to them. Harvey said he would agree with Lily’s assessment of him sounding sad. Mitch’s anxiety increased. He tried calling and got the same response. He asked what was going on and Harvey said that Cam requested confidentiality between the two of them. 

“I really want to tell you, but I can’t. I know it sounds bad and he’s considered not to be of sound mind, but at the same time, you have the right to know.” Harvey sounded like he would say it if Mitch asked him to as Cam’s husband and legal guardian.

Mitch hesitated. He craved knowing what was happening, but it was at Cam’s request. “He’s not suicidal, is he?”

“I don’t think he is and he tells me he isn’t, but he is on watch.”

“I-” Considered not to be of sound mind? Is he…Cam, what are you doing? “I want to respect his wishes. Could you at least ask if he’ll tell me eventually?”

“One moment.” Mitch tried to tamper down the anxiety until Harvey returned. “Cam said he’s sorry for worrying you, would like to reiterate he’s not suicidal, and that he will tell you ‘everything’. I do know what he means by it and that he didn’t tell Lily what he means by it-”

“Don’t tell me. It was something between them and I want to keep it that way.”

“Of course. I hope your anxiety is at least a bit alleviated.”

“I’m reassured he’s not suicidal, but it’s still concerning and weird.”

“I would’ve told you immediately if I suspected it to be the case.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Try to sleep.”

Mitch said he would and the two of them said goodbye. His bed felt too empty without Cam. He had a hard time sleeping that night, grateful it was summer break and he didn’t have to wake up early to take Lily to school. 

A few days later, Harvey called to say that Cam wanted to visit home and asked for Lily to spend the night elsewhere. He didn’t want anyone else there. Confused, Mitch had Lily go to Claire’s and told the family that Cam was going to be home for the night. Harvey said he’d be at a motel until he was called. 

Mitch hugged Cam when he arrived, inhaling his husband’s scent. It was more medical than anything, but it was still Cam. He sobbed when Cam returned the hug, burying his face in Mitch’s neck. Harvey said he’d go if they were both alright and they said they were. He put a bag down on the couch before he left.

“I’m sorry for making you worry.” Cam said, kissing Mitch’s lips. 

“Do you remember me?” Mitch asked.

“Kinda. Harvey was helping me remember you’re my husband and not just my caregiver, Mitchell.” Mitch pressed a kiss on him, wanting so badly to melt into him. He parted, his jaw trembling, sniffling breaths wordless in the air. “I hope someone else’s words reminding me don’t make it any less impactful. I love you, Mitchell.”

“You said…when the time comes…I should make the decision…”

“I know. I believe that. You’ve done wonderfully.” Cam said, smiling and wiping Mitch’s tears gently with his thumb. “What matters isn’t how it started, but how far we’ve come since then and how it’ll end.”

Mitch’s eyes widened. He felt chills of dread course through his body. “You said you weren’t-”

“I’m not suicidal and I’m not looking to drag you with me, love. I want you here with our daughter. This is the least confused and lost I’ve felt in years and I know why. The thought that you just feel it in your bones, It’s happening. I’ve been writing. To you and everyone else. I didn’t tell Lily I knew. But you…you deserve to know. You deserve to be left with all my love. To try to be with the Cam you knew. I feel like death is breathing down the back of my neck. I don’t know if I ever believed in a god or anything, but if I did, I believe I’ve been afforded this grace. This one last night so you don’t forget me when I’m gone. I don’t know how long I have, but…you’ll want this. I won’t know.”

Mitch was sobbing uncontrollably. Cam hugged him until they subsided. They moved to the couch, Cam put the bag on the table. Mitch reached for it, but Cam shook his head.

“What’s-is it your stuff?”

“No, but it’s not to open until I’m gone. I had a journal where I tried to keep track of what I remembered. I wrote letters to family members and Lily’s tells her that she’s free to tell you our conversation or not. I really don’t want it opened yet. I want the last night to be holding off the grief for you. If only for a short time.”

“Cam…”

“Can we try?”

“Not much of a mood.”

“Mm…I can make it a mood.” Cam said in a sultry voice. “Go wash up, okay?”

Mitch nodded and went to blow his nose and splash water on his face. He came out to Cam going over a list on a notepad. 

“You did come with a plan.”

Cam smiled and nodded. “I mean, I wasn’t magically all better for this. It was a lot of prep and focus, with help from Harvey-yeah, sorry he knows like all the plan-hence the awkward vibes. See, I wrote ‘hence the awkward vibes’.”

Mitch snorted. “That does sound like the Cam I know. But you know, you’re still Cam. Despite everything, we’re still us. I love you no matter what.”

Mitch put on what Cam had used to call the Camchell playlist and put his hand out. Cam took it, standing up and Mitch led him in a slow dance. Mitch still felt scared and wanting to cry, but as he swayed with Cam, he came to an understanding. For Cam’s sake, he had to wait to grieve. The last time they’d tried sex had been last summer and it had ended with Cam feeling terrified. He seemed so sure now. Like he was back to his old self.

Almost.

It was obviously days of prep and grinding into his head what he wanted to do that led to this moment. Even now as they felt the sparks between them, only the music playing to make their bodies remember, Mitch could see it in his eyes. He could see it taking all of Cam’s energy to remember. To focus on his list. On his husband. Though it was obviously a different-and fictional story-the words ‘the last song’ came to mind.

This was truly theirs.

Mitch kissed him, this time not solely out of desperate longing, but out of love. If he was going to give Cam that last song and dance, their tale of pain, strength, perseverance, and love…this last night. He was going to make it count. Cam could still give back passion. He would falter slightly, but make himself stay in the moment. Mitch took him to the bedroom. He had no idea how long it would be before Cam would tire, so he wanted to get going. 

In hindsight, if Mitchell were to be honest, it didn’t have the drive it normally did. Not to say nothing happened, but he wished it had been better. Cam told him it was wonderful. Then laying in bed, somewhat sweaty and panting from their efforts, Cam asked him to regale him with how they met and a generic overview of their relationship. Mitch put up piano hands and tried not to cry when Cam looked confused. 

“I did that at charades when we both met at Pepper’s game night and-and you guessed Casablanca immediately. Then every time I would do those piano hands-no idea why I did in the first place-you’d do it instantly. We were…in sync.”

“You’re a bit pretentious, aren’t you?”

“You’re a blatantly flamboyant drama queen.”

“Ouch, snark.”

“Truthful snark…do you-? Are you messing with me?”

“Messing? How is asking you out for coffee-oh. No, I promise. I want to hang out with a friend…if you can consider us knowing each other for less than an hour friend enough to hang out with.”

Mitch’s eyes rolled, Cam smiled. He found it cute and funny. He liked a bit of sass. 

“You fell even further in love with me on our unofficial date. And I didn’t want you to see it too quickly for fear of you taking advantage, but I was falling for you too.”

“Retail therapy after a bad breakup…here, I really don’t want it. If you don’t, you don’t have to say anything.” Cam gave him a dark green sweater. 

“Um…thank you.”

“Friends give each other things.”

“Right.”

“I really didn’t like that you were getting through cracks in my walls, but you were. And sure there were ups and downs, but we knew it was us. Forever.”

“Sex isn’t a requirement, Mitchell. And definitely not immediate.”

“I do want sex…just…I don’t know if I’m very good. If I-I even know what romantic sex is like.”

“Based in love and trust, it’s very beautiful. We trust each other with the most intimate parts of ourselves and I don’t want sex just because. I want to because I love you. And knowing your past, I want you to know what it is from someone who loves you if you’re okay with it one day.”

“One day.”

“My promise to you is on that day, we set firm boundaries to respect each other and that I won’t intentionally hurt you. Yes, some pain can happen, but it should never be forced and never be of malice, my love.”

“My love?”

“Oh, um…ah, you don’t seem the type for pet names. Not like I’m calling you a pet, but like-”

“I know what you mean, Cam, and I…liked it. I mean, it beats being called worthless or someone’s property.”

“If ever I call you my Mitchell, it’s with respect to your autonomy. I want to be your Cam.”

“Be mine.”

“So, it’s your turn to ask me out on a date?”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

“I accept.”

Cam hugged him and kissed him, pressing his naked body onto Mitch’s. “Even if we can’t continue anymore, I want us to hold each other.”

“Please.” Mitch said. He started kissing Cam, just wanting his lips everywhere on Cam’s face and neck, hand in his hair and his other hand holding Cam’s. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Whatever you need to do, I give my consent.”

“Just this. I just need…touch. I need to feel you.” Mitch gave him a light handjob. Cam giggled and Mitch tried not to cry. 

“Hold onto as much as you can.” Mitch sniffled and nodded, squeezing him tightly. Cam hugged back. “Thank you, Mitchell. For everything.”

Chapter Text

We’ve made these moments
It’s time to bury ‘em
…

“It ate away at everything he could do. By some miracle, it didn’t eat all of him. Maybe it was him. He was the miracle. He was always determined…that’s-that’s my Cam…he-”

Mitch couldn’t continue. He went back to his seat and Claire took him in her arms. He gave the rest of his speech to his dad who went up and delivered it. But not even he could escape the emotions that seemed to radiate not only off his son, but off the page itself. Jay did his speech next, his voice hoarse and tired. As tired as Mitch was numb. 

Though contact was cut, Mitch felt that Barb absolutely had the right to be there, but he refused Paul and Merle Junior. Barb tried to approach him after, but Merle stopped her and Gloria was being a buffer. The Tucker family he was fine keeping in contact with had offered to come and help with Lily and the house, but Mitch said they didn’t have to.

People had sent him things. Food, mostly. It was a normal thing to do when someone’s suffering a loss. He was grateful that his family, a lot of Cam’s, their friends, and Lily’s helped out. Made sure Lily and Larry ate. Claire’s priority was making sure Mitch ate because she knew Lily could take care of herself and Larry. She, Jay, Gloria, and Phil would come over and clean the house. Joe and Lily hung out and helped out, played with Larry and tried to interact with Mitch. All Mitch saw was his husband’s peaceful face. 

…
I’ve thought about how I would say goodbye
Now I’m saying goodbye
…

How can someone so large in life seem so small in death? Mitch caressed his cheek gently, not wanting to disturb the work that had gone into making him look presentable. He’d seen him in death. Cam had expressed tiredness and asked him to wake him up in half an hour so he could go back to the home. Maybe it was selfish desire, maybe it was not wanting Cam to die in a room alone. A room that hadn’t been his for very long. 

Or maybe it was Mitch’s way of saying goodbye. His husband in his home where they promised to grow old in together unless they might move. Over the seven years of the damn disease ravaging Cam’s body, taking his mind and body bit by bit, the one thing he remembered was what he said back when Mitch had been made to tell the truth.

“I know I’m Cam, you’re Mitchell, and we care very much for each other.”

He knew it would happen. Their time would run out. He had seven years to prepare. Had half a year since his steep decline. Even when he came over, part of him wanted to scream. To refuse Cam’s goodbye. To tell him it’s not going to happen. But something in the way he was told him…Cam really did know. And Mitch couldn’t be in denial this time.

…
I’m singing, love, it’s time for me to go
I’m singing, love, don’t forget me when I’m gone
…

Cam left behind letters to various family members and a journal. The journal was mainly his memories. A record of how Alzheimer’s was taking it from him. The handwriting was his until around his birthday when he needed Mitch to write. Then Harvey when he was placed in the home. The constant was still Mitch and Lily. They visited and in his mind, he had to be transferred to a different facility and Lily stayed under Mitch’s care. 

Cam had noted a few times he felt abandoned, but that he believed when Harvey told him it was his own words. Telling Mitchell to make the tough choice when needed. He knew he’d been a danger before, having absolutely no clue how he hadn’t been in a car wreck or burnt down the house. He liked the family visiting, though he always said he didn’t remember stories they told him about that apparently included him. 

…
We planned the future in unison
I’m thinkin’ ‘bout how we’ll begin again
We have to begin again
…

We had become I. 

I raise Lily. I’m responsible for the house, the cat, everything. 

I have to live without you. 

Mitchell would never be able to reconcile that. During the first year, when Cam could remember more, he wrote out his will with Mitch and Harvey as his witnesses. Mitch tried not to cry so Cam could focus. Mitch would get a portion of Merle’s money meant to go to Cam when he passes. Barb had to be convinced to do it for Lily. Everything of Cam’s was Mitch and Lily’s. He wanted Mitch to be responsible for giving things to family and friends. 

Jay and Claire helped him with divvying out everything once he had felt up to it and Lily had returned to school. Older clothes that no longer had his scent that he didn’t like were donated. Recently worn ones were preserved. Mitch knew it wouldn’t last forever, but he wanted to keep it as much as possible. Mitch had moved to the occasions closet when he screamed and bolted into his room, running past Claire and Jay who had armfuls of clothes. He became inconsolable for the rest of the day.

Fizbo.

Cam promised not to insert him into every facet of his life and keep him out of the bedroom. In turn, Mitch promised not to insult him as much because of how important the clown was to Cam. Mitch couldn’t fault Cam for finding something to get him through his teenage years, especially since he came out when he was nineteen. Even if his family had mostly been supportive at the time, didn’t mean that it wasn’t the late eighties/early nineties.

Claire folded the clothes nicely and put them in a box. It was much too late to try to preserve any sort of scent. She realized the hat and wig were missing. She looked through the occasions closet, but it wasn’t there. She dreaded telling Mitch as she approached his room. He was sobbing loudly, saying Cam’s name over and over. Claire sniffled, opening the door. She could see the yellow hat clutched in his hand. She sat on Cam’s side and hugged him. 

“Please…please don’t…don’t get rid of him…”

“I would never.”

“I was so…fucking mean to him…about Fizbo…”

“You compromised, remember? You talked about it.” Claire said soothingly. “He didn’t regret it. He didn’t blame you, honey. He didn’t. You once told me he was Fizbo when he threatened to kick a guy’s ass at a gas station.”

“I’m the ass kicking clown who will twist you like a balloon animal. I will beat your head into the bumper until the airbag deploys. Apologize to my boyfriend right now!”

“Cam, would you really have beat that guy up?” Mitch had asked later after all the craziness around Luke’s birthday party had settled. Cam looked quizzically at him. “At the gas station.”

“Oh yeah. Absolutely. He was a dick and he pushed you after pretending he didn’t bump you with his car. I love you and I’ll always protect you.”

“My protector…my love…I couldn’t protect him.”

“You did to the best of your ability. Cam knew you did.”

Mitch coughed and let out dry sobs.

Eventually, he told Claire that the wig had gone bad and Cam had tossed it. They planned to buy a new one after Phil’s birthday seven years ago because it would tie into a costume idea for Pepper’s party, but Cam’s memory losses had increased by then.

…
I’m singing, love, it’s time for me to go
I’m singing, love, don’t forget me when I”m gone
…

The letters had been dictated to Harvey who typed them out. His journal was handwritten in by Harvey. Cam’s own writing had been to brainstorm, though they were very scribbly and hard to decipher. Cam’s letter to Joe and the twins had been the shortest, the babies having been born in the midst of Cam’s memory exercises and his slowly deteriorating condition. Joe had been too young and Cam hadn’t really interacted much with him that he could remember. He still wished them well and hoped that they would hear stories of him and to ask Lily because he loved her stories and she knew a lot more than he did.

Most of the letters were just him trying to separate memories and telling people that he was sorry he couldn’t separate some of them, but he still appreciated them. He told them all he was grateful for them and to make sure Mitch and Lily ate and that the cat he forgot the name of was taken good care of. He told them that his wish was for them to look after his family and to make sure that they knew they weren’t alone, especially Mitchell since he knew about the anxiety. Mitch asked for copies of the letters to family and friends, except Lily’s future and private ones and would read them, snippets popping out at him.

Claire I know you were his first protector from the day he was born. I don’t remember, but I’m sure you were very observant of our relationship. I’m told you were aware and trying to figure out what was going on before we found out my diagnosis and that you thought I was hurting Mitch. I’m not sure what I would’ve said before it happened, but I can say now I don’t blame you. It does look rather awkward. Thank you for being on top of it.

Phil, I’m sorry I can’t remember much more than you being supportive and friendly since day one. I suppose you had to be if I had Claire and Jay watching me like a hawk. I don’t think you meant your fan fiction to become my bedtime stories, but they felt a source of comfort before bed. Please don’t feel offended, I’m very happy it was.

Jay, I wish I got to know you better as my father in law. Or that I remembered much at all. Sometimes it comes out in bits and I know you weren’t exactly gay friendly in the past, but I’m glad you’ve changed for the better. 

Gloria, I thank you for being strong and determined. For being a friend because we were both newer to the Pritchetts. I’m not sure the significance, but Mitch has told me you would understand if I told you.

Lily had gotten a few for different stages of her life. She kept some of what Cam had told her, stating that he expressed how proud of her he was for being strong through this. He hadn’t told her about knowing he was going to die. Only Mitch and Harvey had known that. Mitch admitted that Cam’s visit was his final goodbye. Lily wasn’t upset, she understood that Cam needed it and didn’t want his daughter or anyone else stressed more than they already were. Plus, if she’d known, Cam might not have done what it was he needed before he died.

…
You say you’re confused
There’s no reason, boy, so what’s the use?
You’re on your own, we’re on our own
…

Dear Mitchell,

At this moment, I’m refusing visitors and I know it’s going to hurt you. It’s going to hurt when I ask for a private word with Lily and then not have anyone else, and for that I am so sorry. This is something I need to do and if I see you too early, I’m afraid I won’t go through with it. I know this sounds awfully suicidal as Harvey tells me, but the difference is that there is no intent. There’s knowledge. I’ll try to figure out how to explain it, but it’s like a chill through your entire skeleton. It feels both disconcerting and calming. I suppose this could be a sign of suicide, but it isn’t. I promise, I don’t want to die. I want to live. I want to be with you and Lily and I want to be Cam. But I can’t. 

I know I’ve had hallucinations for a while now, people and things that weren’t there. Sometimes I’d hear animals, maybe a hidden farm memory popping up, but this one stayed. This one I remembered. I know them. I know Death. I don’t recognize the form Death took, but they didn’t want to frighten me. It sounds like something out of a tv show, but I asked ‘are you who I think you are?’ Death looked me in the eyes and through no fault of their own, I could see both soul and soullessness. They had none of their own, but the history of guiding them.

It sounds silly, I know. It sounds like I’m reciting some old myth or book. It sounds like the most outlandish, non Cam-like thing I’ve ever said. But I was given a chance. I still saw the shadow when Lily visited, but none when I came home. I was given you. Bathed in light and love. My final moments to be in your arms. Because I know. I know how hard it was for you to keep it, to try to handle me on your own. I know how hard it was for you to send me here. I’m sorry if my journal hurts you, it’s just what I felt. Rest assured that I was assured you didn’t abandon me, my darling. I believed Harvey over me. I believed in you over me.

So many of my memories are us talking. I have no idea what we’re saying, but I know they’re words of love and comfort. The same I hope to have with you soon. I hope you aren’t too upset with me. I want us to have a wonderful night. I don’t want you to regret. I want you to know how much you meant to me. What I mean by you being everything to me. Most of all, I want you to be able to move on. Remember me and move forward. Grow. You’ve got so much left, make the most of it, my darling. And don’t forget me, okay?

I LOVE YOU

MITCHELL

The last part had been written out in shaky letters. Harvey helped to keep him steady, offering to write it out for him, but Cam had refused. Cam needed it to be his writing. Mitch broke all over again when he finally had the courage to read the letter. 

He could move forward for Lily’s sake. Be the father she needed. But Cam stayed. The picture above the mantle eventually didn’t make Mitch cry every time he saw it. He would’ve cried harder at the suggestion of removing it. Cam would always be there despite not having him present. Mitch started wearing shirts similar to Cam. It wasn’t his style and he would layer it sometimes, but he needed it. No one argued. 

Lily shared her graduation letter with her dad. They cried together. Cam had put a lot of effort into it, it was no wonder it took so long. He must’ve been pushing way past his limit. Mitch was surprised he seemed so complacent when he came home. 

You wanted to die at home. It wasn’t selfish, Cam. It was comfort. It was me. I’m glad to have been your last moment, to honor your final request. But if I’m being honest…

I can live. 

I can move forward.

But I can never find another love like this. It’s impossible. 

You took my shattered heart and mixed it with your broken one. It made us whole. A mosaic heart with our hurt selves healing together. Making us. I cannot ever truly let you go enough to move onto someone else. It’s impossible to forget you when you were so prominently a part of me. You will be in my heart forever, my husband. You are my one and only. Maybe ’til death do we part, but it’s not forever, is it?

Wait for me so we may spend eternity together, Cameron

…
Love it’s time for me to go
Love, don’t forget me when I’m gone