Archive of Our Own ^beta

There was a lesson to be learned from all this: "Don't fuck around with a voodoo-practicing woman... especially if you forgot the condom."
Axel really had to remember to tell his hook-ups about his herpes BEFORE he got white-boy wasted. 
Not that he would have sex ever again, after what the witch-bitch did to him. 
Weird how none of those Anti-Sex/STD Warning videos they had to watch in school never talked about this. "Unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy, HIV/AIDS, and a crazy-assed sorceress cursing your ass for not wrapping it up!"

Welp. Lesson learned. 
Not that it helped matters. 
"You cursed me with your disease, now I shall curse you!" the witchcraft-wielding-woman snarled at him, when she saw his flare-up post-coitus. 
He honestly thought the indoor-storm clouds and green lightning were hallucinations brought on by pot... until he remembered he hadn't smoked a joint, yet. 
Then pain shot through his spine and legs, and he felt his bones breaking, his jaw cracking, teeth aching... holy-shit, he'd been in bar-fights that were less agonizing!
All the while the sorceress was chanting something. "Mamba-say-mamba-sah-mamba-moosa" or some shit like that. 
He wasn't paying attention because everything fucking hurt. 
At some point he blacked out...

When Axel came to, his legs were gone, and his entire lower-body was replaced with 20-feet of brown, black-spotted snake-tail. 
He stared at it a while, wondering if he were dreaming... or if he were still drunk and this was all an illusion brought on by Orphan Tears. 
When Puff came in and screamed bloody murder, that was enough to convince him that this was really happening. 
DeeJay had come in, gawking-- while Puff jumped into his arms like they were Shaggy and Scooby-Doo. "Man, I told you that goth-girl was practicing some weird shit!" the black man had groused, after throwing the bespectacled Martian to the floor. 
Benatar stepped in next, and just... stared. "Blimey." was all he admitted. 

At least the sorceress was kind enough to leave him a pamphlet. "So You Are Cursed As A Naga (what to do, what not to do, and how to get on with your life)."
The parts that were the hardest to deal with:
-No drugs or alcohol, it could kill him. (Fuck.)
-No smoking pot, otherwise he'd cough up a lung. (Fuck.)
-He now had 2 dicks. (Sweet.) ...but no one will want to sleep with him. (Fuck.)
-There was a 99.9% people will either want to kill him, or put him in an exhibit because he was a freak of nature now. (...who wrote this, his parents?)

It took several weeks for Axel to get used to his new anatomy. All the while, DeeJay and Puff went back to the club, trying to find someone who knew the sorceress and where she could be found, but with no luck. Benatar stuck around to keep Axel company, playing his bass (music really helped him stay relaxed). 
He had to learn how to move around again. 
He had to learn what he could eat, and how much he had to eat now that he had a longer stomach. 
He had to learn how to piss properly with two penises. (As if aiming for the toilet with just one wasn't difficult enough!)
And he had to teach Vincent to NOT peck at his tail while he slept. ("Vincent, I know snakes are your favorite food, but that doesn't mean you can eat me, got it? ...Ow! That's it! No television for a week!")

Eventually, he tried to get back into a normal routine, but it was difficult.
He couldn't play drums anymore; loud noises affected his hearing, which was amplified to like 500%, so that fucking sucked. At least he could play his bongos... not that the band had many bongo-involved songs. 
Even if they did, he couldn't perform on-stage. 1) His tail would be in the way, and he'd have to hide it behind the curtain or a lot of props, and 2) Music had a lulling affect on him, and he would end up spacing out... almost like he was getting high, but without drugs. 
Benatar suggested he wear ear-plugs to muffle the effects. They helped a bit... the tail was still a problem, though. 

Weather was different for him now, too.
Storms freaked him out due to the thunder, now. 
Hot days didn't bother him anymore at least... but he couldn't go to the beach without causing a panic.
Winter was a bitch; he had to bury himself in 100 blankets, and fell asleep for several weeks. Everyone thought he was dead, and had to keep Vincent from trying to eat him, the hawk having to stay in a separate room. 

He couldn't go to parties, anymore. 
Shit, he couldn't go ANYWHERE. Period. 
The only way he could keep in-touch was through social-media. 
But it wasn't the same as actually being around people. He needed human interaction... and sex. Mostly sex. 
It had been months since he fooled around with anyone, and masturbating wasn't cutting it. 
Damn, where were all the pervs who were into monster-fucking porn? Maybe he should put an ad out there: "Naga in need of fuck-buddy."
...who was he kidding? Even Puff's grandma wouldn't want to touch him!

The guys had to bring him food. 
He felt like a pet.
No... like a wild animal. 
Stuck in his room on the bus.
Trapped in a cage. 

Puff was scared shitless of him. Turns out he had a fear of snakes. "Dammit, Axel! Put a bell on that thing or something!" he had exclaimed when he looked up from his phone and saw the naga's tail pulling across the floor (and almost pissed himself). 

DeeJay was slightly less terrified... if anything, he just found it to be a nuisance. "Man, we gotta find a way to fix this shit. I'm tired of tripping over your scaly-ass!" he muttered. 

Benatar... didn't seem bothered. The only thing he was concerned about was how they would have to stay on hiatus until the curse was broken. "Maybe we need a princess to break the curse?" he guessed. 
"That's for FROGS, dumbass!" Puff snapped in retort. 

When it had been a year, and Axel remained half-snake, it was safe to say the situation was hopeless.
He fell into a depression, coiled up in his room in the back of the bus.
He could hear Puff and DeeJay talking up front.
They were going out to hunt down the voodoo-bitch who cursed him, for the twenty-hundredth time. 
They told Benatar to stick around, Puff making the remark for him to not get eaten. (He could hear DeeJay slapping him upside the head).

Axel sighed. He should just leave...
But it was getting cold out again, and he was too tired to move. 
He'll just wait for them to get back, then drive him to the woods or something.
Maybe ship him off to the Amazon. 
Yeah. He could live out in the rainforest for the rest of his days...

He heard footsteps approaching. 
"Axel?" came a whisper. 
Benatar.
Even if he didn't say anything, Axel could tell it was him. 
His instincts told him so. 

"what." The naga responded, in a tone that sent the message that he didn't want to deal with any bullshit.

"Can I come in?"

"whatever."
On any other day, he would be telling the brit to fuck off. 
But he didn't have the energy. 
...and fuck if he wasn't desperate for a little company...

Light footsteps.
Benatar was careful to approach him--- not out of fear per se, but to mind the tail. (He was the only one to apologize when he tripped over it.) 
He didn't ask if he was okay (because he knew he wasn't.)
He didn't ask if there was anything he could do (because he couldn't.)
He didn't tell him it would be okay (because no one knew.)
The blonde was wise enough to learn the pattern after the first three months, and knew from that experience talking was off the list. 

Axel sensed a foot stepping over his tail, before feeling warmth pressing against him.
Benatar had sat down in the middle of his coils, leaning against one side, sitting quiet.
Feeling another's presence so close to him was both comforting and uneasy at the same time.
The naga didn't know whether to relax or brace himself to strike...

The bass-player rested a hand on his scales, rubbing them gently. 

The touch made Axel flinch, but he held his composure. "Dude." he scoffed. "You know you're basically touching my ass, right?"

"S-Sorry," Benatar stuttered, retracting his palm. "I thought it was your back..."

His embarrassment made the brunette chuckle. "Just kidding. But seriously, no petting the tail without permission."

"Sorry... Can I?"

"What?"

"Pet your tail."

Axel looked at him, arching an eyebrow. "...Benatar, please tell me you're not gay for snake-ass."

The blonde shook his head, smirking. "Nah, mate. I've just always thought snakes were cool; used to find a bunch of them in the garden back in Britain, and held a couple little garter-snakes. Their scales were so beautiful, and they felt smooth to the touch... heh, Mum had a fit when I tried to bring them inside, wanting to keep as pets."

The naga propped himself up on his elbow. "You do realize that's dangerous, right? I mean, what if they were venomous?"
He pondered a moment.
"In fact... I could be venomous. I could bite you, and you'd drop dead."
He gave a grin, showing off his fangs. "And then, I could unhinge my jaw and eat you..."

Benatar didn't so much as blink. "You're not venomous. I looked up what type of snake-tail you have," he looked at the tail. "A ball python, I believe. They're more known for crushing their prey,"
He rested his head against the coils. "I kind of wanted to get one as a pet. Saw one for sale at a pet-shop once, but was worried Vincent wouldn't get along with it."

Axel looked at the peck-marks on one end of his tail. The brit was right about that. 
He then grinned in mischief, shifting his tail as he got up. "So, you know I could strangle you, and you still have the balls to sit in my coils. You must either be stupid, or a masochist."
One end of his tail wrapped around Benatar's neck--- not too tight, just enough to make him jolt. 
"Do you think I'm your pet, Benatar? A pet who can kill you with a crushing grip, then swallow you whole?"

Benatar only stared at him, before closing his eyes, giving a shudder.
"Choke me, Daddy."

...

*Thud!*

Axel fell over laughing, Benatar bursting in guffaws after. 
"Dude! What the hell?!" The naga snorted. 

"I don't know! It was the first thing that popped into my head!" the brit wheezed. 

Both of them continued to bust a gut in laughter.
So loud that they didn't hear the sound of the authoress running, screaming, as she was pursued by 1000 AxeBen shippers who were out for blood after getting trolled like that. 
But c'mon, it was a little funny, right?

Once they calmed down, Axel coiled around closer to Benatar. "Thanks, man. I needed that."

"I know," The blonde shifted over to his upper-half, putting an arm around his shoulders. "Kinda missed your ribbing, mate. It's been too quiet, with you sticking back here 'n' all,"

The brunette sighed. "If I could get rid of this tail..."
He lied down on top of his coils.

Benatar leaned against him. "We're here for you, Axel. Even if we can't break your curse, we're still your friends."

"Tch, don't get sappy on me, man."
...
"But thanks." Axel waved his hand forth, speaking in mock-sophistication. "You may pet the scales,"

"You are too kind," The blonde responded in the same amount of sarcasm.
He rested his palm on the tail, rubbing them gently as he had done before. 
The rest of the tail curved around him, pulling him closer until he was pressed against Axel's chest, his arms wrapping around him. 
The blonde blinked in mild confusion, before closing his eyes and nestling closer, one arm on his friend's (human) back, while the other caressed the scales that snuggled around him. 

"...okay, pretty sure THAT part is my ass." Axel scoffed. 

"My bad," Benatar murmured, moving his hand to a different part of the tail. "Better?"

"Lots,"

The naga closed his eyes, relaxing.
It had been too long since he had physical contact.
That's why he pulled the brit into a hug, not wanting to let go.
Yeah. That's the reason.
He was so touch-starved that he allowed Benatar of all people to cuddle with him.
Because, damn, Benatar was the only one who didn't make him feel like shit during this curse. 
Nothing gay about it. Just bromance. 
That's it.

...

"Yo, Axel! We got you some Burger King--- the fuck?!" 
Because of COURSE Puff had to walk in at this moment! 

The bespectacled Martian stared at his friends.
Benatar froze, a blush rising to his face.
Axel's head jerked up out of reflex.

"Oh, shit! DeeJay, it's happening! Get the cam---!" Puff began to call.

Fast as a bullet, Axel rushed up to him, looming over him, his eyes glowing interchanging colors. 
"You saw nothing,"

Puff's jaw went slack. "I saw nothing,"

"You're going to leave the food and stay out of the room the rest of the day,"

"I'm going to leave the food and stay out of the room the rest of the day,"

Axel thought for a moment. "And you're going to confess your undying love to DeeJay,"

"I'm going to confess my undying love to DeeJay,"
With that, Puff walked out in a trance. 

Benatar watched the whole thing. "Wow. I thought that only happened in movies,"

"Yep. ...I should try it on you, next. Maybe I can get you to spill your most embarrassing secrets!" Axel teased. 

The blonde rolled his eyes, before curling up in his tail again. "Aww, but then you wouldn't have me to snuggle with~"

Axel scoffed, before coiling around him again. "You SURE you're not gay for snake-ass?" 

The two friends (just friends!) nestled together, beginning to drift off...
"WHAT THE F---! GET OFF ME!" 
...until DeeJay's shout startled them.
Then they had to cover their mouths to stifle their laughs. 

"I think I'm starting to enjoy this curse!" Axel whispered. 

"Pfft, I had a feeling..." Benatar snickered.
He looked over at the bag of food. 
"If you're hungry, I can step out so you can eat---"
He was pulled into a tight hug. 

"I'll eat after my nap," 

The blonde closed his eyes again. "...okay,"
Within a few minutes, he drifted to sleep.
How naive, he trusted Axel to not kill him in his sleep--- or pull a prank on him.
...
Not that the brunette felt like it.
At least, not for the time being. 

Sensing how comfortable the brit was in his embrace, the naga relaxed, letting out a soothing sigh. 
Okay, so maybe being half-snake wasn't so bad after all. 
(Eat shit, voodoo-whore!)
With that, he drifted off to sleep next... only waking up to the sound of DeeJay yelling at a hypnotized Puff.
And Vincent rummaging through the paper-bag stealing one of his burgers. 

Maybe one of these days, he would find a hot chick who was into nagas.
Rule34 existed for a reason, after all.