Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Okay! I have plans for most of these but for the ones that are blank please recommend who I should write it on, maybe a scenario or other characters involved, I'm good with platonic or romantic pairs/groups (I will probably write any shipy ones as mostly platonic with hints, just cause I want to focus on the whump mostly, I also will not guarantee that I'll do your exact scenario, it's likely I will but not guaranteed)

Prompts- (Courtesy of @ailesswhumptober)

October 1- Daisuke & 02 group
Collapsed lung, Contusion, "Well, that shouldn't have happened."

October 2- Hikari & Taichi
Amputation, Gunshot, "It's not worth your life!"

October 3- Takeru & Natsuko
Secondary drowning, Compartment syndrome, "Please don't leave me!”

October 4- Yamato & Taichi
Frostbite, Heat, "I can make it all better."

October 5- Yamato & Takeru (Alt 9 being used)
Torture, Withholding aid, "How do you want me to punish you?"

October 6- Takeru & Taichi
Self-inflicted injury, Rocky recovery, "If I tell you what they made me do, you won't be able to look at me the same."

October 7- Koushiro
Starvation, Foodborne illness, "They put something in my system, I can't think straight."

October 8- Takeru & Daisuke
Hit and run, Adrenaline, “I can’t stop!”

October 9- Hikari
Emotional manipulation,  Cassandra truth, “You asked for this.”

October 10- Yamato & Taichi
Blood poisoning, Hypoxia, "What were you thinking?"

October 11- Yamato & Takeru
Sleep deprivation, Whiplash, “Be careful, they’re watching us.”

October 12- Takeru & 02 kids
Dislocation, Dizziness, “Don’t pass out on me.”

October 13-
Ransom, Tranquilizer, "I trusted you!"

October 14- Ken & Wormmon
Self-surgery, Unconsciousness, "Look who's awake."

October 15- Takeru & Ken
Came back wrong, Cannibalism, "You weren't supposed to die first."

October 16- Tailmon
Leashed, Painful shapeshifting, "Hold them down."

October 17- Takeru & Patamon
Drug side effects, Desperation, "It's fine, I can walk it off."

October 18- Tailmon & Hikari
Captivity, Loss of powers, "Do you even know how to use that?"

October 19- Jou
Broken bone, blood loss, "When I finish patching you up I swear to god I'm gonna kick your ass for making me worry about you."

October 20- Yamato & Natsuko
Irredeemable, Before it starts/After it's over, "I didn't react the way I should have, I'm sorry."

October 21- Takeru
Stranded, Search and rescue, "You really think they're gonna look for you?"

October 22- Daisuke & Jun
Estranged, Changed dynamic, “Who did this to you?!”

October 23-
Restraints, Obsession, “Aren’t you feisty?”

October 24- Takeru
Denial, Working through the pain, “What have you done to yourself?”

October 25- Adventure kids
Magical bind, Pinned down, "And what do we have here?"

October 26- Biyomon & Sora
Defanging/Declawing, Pulled feathers, “This should teach you to behave next time.”

October 27- Takeru & Ken
Sensory overload, Catatonic, "Don't pretend to understand."

October 28- Hikari & Takeru
Hospital/Doctor’s visit, Medical power of attorney, "Why can't I remember?"

October 29- Ken & 02 group
Childhood trauma, Guilt, "I didn't mean to."

October 30-
Cleaning injuries, Labored breathing, “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

October 31- Tailmon 
Body horror, Enucleation, "I am the monster you made me!"

Alt prompts:

1) Mutation

2) Knife/Gun to the throat

3) Nonhuman pet whumpee

4) Chronic condition

5) No-win scenario

6) Blinded

7) Memory trigger

8) Mercy

9) "This isn't how I wanted you to find out."

10) “Get yourself out of here! I’ll be fine.”

Some of these that I have marked will not be going how you expect, lol. Anyway leave a suggestion for the days I haven’t marked yet please. (Day 14 is also up for suggestion just cause I’m not purely sure yet on that one)

DIGIMON PARTNERS ARE ALLOWED TO BE SUGGESTED (hence why Biyomon, Tailmon, Wormmon and Patamon will be making main appearances)

Chapter Text

“You're being reckless and you know it.”

A bright light drilled itself painfully through the fogginess of the teens mind. He shut his eyes tighter than a moment before. 

“...Davis…” It was a quiet call, muffled like it was being shouted through a wall. Probably his mother telling him dinner was ready. A nice warm bowl of homemade ramen. 

“Are you sure?”

Daisuke wanted to yell back that he wasn’t interested, that he wanted to sleep until the next day. But the ramen was calling to him louder than his mother and his stomach was empty. It’s not like his bed was particularly comfortable right now, which was weird, it usually felt amazing. 

“Seriously? Go sit your ass down.”

“Davis!” The muffled shout was louder, pitched in a way his mother’s wouldn’t be. Was his dad already home? Usually he got home when they were in the middle of eating, then he’d witness the disgusting affection of his mom welcoming him home with lovey dovey words and acts.

He must have been asleep for a while. 

Daisuke turned over wanting to snuggle more in his thin blankets. 

Weird.

All his blankets were fluffy. 

“Come on! Hurry up!”

Ken had stolen two for that very reason. In fact, Takeru had also stolen one! Okay technically he left it at Takeru’s during a movie night with the group but the bastard never gave it back! Hikari had popped up at his house just to ask for one, and who was he to deny her. Iori even took one during the winter but he was nice enough to actually give it back. Miyako had stolen the first one that Ken had taken from Ken, which is why he stole a second. 

Maybe, he should start wearing shirts to sleep already, it wasn’t winter yet but it felt cold. 

As he turned a grainy texture rubbed against his arms and cheek. 

“Watch it! You’re gonna get hit!” 

He should really listen to his mom and change his sheets, it's been over three months now. 

For now he swiped his hand to try and dust off the sheets. 

He could probably make his sheet last longer if he stopped flopping in them right after soccer practice. 

“This is why you should have stayed home!” 

There was some type of scuffing sound to his left. He chose to ignore it and bury his face further into his pillow. He really should have turned off his room light before going to sleep. 

Fuck the light.

Fuck the noises.

Fuck the dirt and pebbles. 

“Daisuke.” The voice was firm, unshaking in a way that demanded urgency. 

Daisuke sighed into the ground, he had to get up and eat dinner now huh. He really wanted to sleep though. 

.

..

…

Ground?

Daisuke slowly blinked open his eyes, dirt and rocks greeting him. 

“He’s alive!” The firm voice from before shouted. Whoever it belonged to was touching his shoulder the next moment, shifting him a little before a hand met his forehead and lifted. His face was laid on someone’s lap. 

“Hey, I need you to answer some questions, okay?” The person stated clearly and slowly. The hands on him were trembling slightly though. 

Daisuke felt kinda bad for some reason, but if this guy wanted his attention then he needed to turn off the damn interrogation light.

“Turn off the damn light, it’s too bright.” He stated in a grumble. Something was placed on top of his head the next moment. The guy didn’t turn off the light but at least he dimmed it.

“What’s your name?” The guy started in that same slow manner. 

Daisuke groaned, he should really be the one asking this guy that. The teen shifted trying to get a look at the guy's face. It hurt to move, probably sore from practice, but he managed, though it did make the light brighten again.

Takeru?

Why the hell would Takeru be asking for his name? Did the idiot hit his head?

Daisuke shifted back for his face to be in the blond’s lap. 

“What’s your name?” Takeru asked him again, Daisuke wanted to roll his eyes but it hurt. Takeru’s hand found his shoulder and squeezed ever so slightly.

“Daisuke.” The sleep teen decided to humor him. 

Takeru’s grip lightened. The blond was relieved at the answer, it was a little more present and less slurred than the earlier whine of “bright” that the boy let out. Ken would be better at this than him, but everyone else was taking the long way down. Takeru didn’t even realise he was climbing down the cliff until he was half way down, adrenaline running too high for him to really care if he had slipped. 

“Last name?” Takeru rubbed his hands gently across the teen. He startled to a stop once the other inhaled a pain filled hiss. 

“Mo..mm…ya.” Came the slurred answer. 

“Can I take off your jacket?” Takeru asked, hands already sliding in position, once he got confirmation he wanted it off quickly. 

As he waited for the words to process he heard a shout of his own name. 

“TK!” Ken didn’t come to a full halt before he was getting on his knees, sliding roughly against the rocky ground, but it would be fine, a few scrapes meant nothing right now. “Is-” A breathe in,
“Is he responding?” Ken coughed, panting from his sprint.

“Mm sur..” As if on que, Daisuke answered Takeru’s previous question.

“He winced earlier when I was checking his sides, no blood from what I’ve seen yet,” Takeru pushed the jacket off the half conscious boy’s shoulder’s, Ken immediately took the hint and started to help. “He said his name, super slurred but still clear enough to know he was saying it.”

“Davis,” Ken placed his hand flat on his best friend’s back, pushing away the tears threatening to spill, “I’m going to push up your shirt.” 

“Ow…” The teen whined as Ken’s palm brushed the black and purple area covering his entire right side. 

“I should have made him stay home.” Ken muttered to himself, his breath picking up at the sight of the injury. Mind screaming at him all the ways he could have convinced his best friend that coming to the digital world with a sprained ankle and a practically freshly relocated knee was a horrible idea. 

Ken's rapid breaths stuttered as a hand turned his face gently away from the sight in front of him, Miyako’s panting face came into view. “Hey, he’s alive, breathe. In with me, okay?” Miyako took a deep breath, guiding Ken despite her own sprint down into this valley. 

“It- it hasn’t started swelling yet, and his side doesn’t seem misshapen.” Hikari’s voice shook as she took a place on the other side of Daisuke, across from Ken. “What else…” The girl muttered to herself, racking her brain for any of the information that Jou lectured them on so many times. She used to find it annoying and pointless, now she wished he had done it more often. 

“His breathing is mostly normal.” Takeru tacked on, “That’s all good, it means there’s less of a chance he broke a rib.” 

“What do we do then? We shouldn’t move him.” Ken grabbed Miyako’s wrist gently as a silent thank you. 

“R.I.C.E.” Iori finally spoke up, standing facing away from the group as he shook in place. “It’s what my grandpa taught me to remember for when someone gets too aggressive during Kendo.” He continued, rattling off his advice, just to hopefully be of some help. “Ice and Compression are the most applicable right now.”

“We don’t exactly have ice packs right now.” Miyako stated, she looked up to the sky where Holsmon was fending off Volcanicdramon with the others. “I’ll run to the nearest TV and grab some from the store, I’ll also call Jou.” The girl stood up, not accepting any protests. “Holsmon! Leave them to it! We have to go!” 

“We shouldn’t let him sleep, right?” Iori spoke up again, hesitating to take Miyako’s previously held spot. 

The other three all pulled a face of realization. Variously shaking and bombarding the teen with calls to answer. 

“Shu… ..p.” Came the mumbled response, cloudy eyes opening and being greeted with Ken’s tear filled ones. “Wha… pen..?”

“You came to the digital world with a hurt leg and when we were running you ended up falling exactly where the ground was crumbling apart.” Hikari supplied, Daisuke attempted to look at her but it hurt so whatever. Ken’s not a bad view and everything’s shady enough to not be unbearably painful. 

Daisuke blinked thinking over the words. Right. He had been claiming it as fine, because it was. And well, because his coach had told him that if it wasn’t he wouldn’t be allowed to play the next game due to school safety reasons, and then told him that that wasn’t an option.

“I’m in trouble, aren’t I?” He closed his eyes, sighing at the idea of being scolded. 

The four exchanged faces and shrugs. 

“Hey, can you repeat that?” Ken’s hand was in his hair, lightly scratching his scalp, it both relaxed him into wanting to sleep and staved away the exhaustion he felt. 

“I’m in trouble, aren’t I?” Daisuke groaned, opening his eyes as he repeated himself. He was slightly annoyed, it’s not like he wasn’t speaking clearly. 

“Trouble?” Takeru echoed above him, hand on his right shoulder like a supportive force grounding in a solid way. 

“You’re not in trouble.” Iori seemed to catch on, response soft but earnest and firm. “At least not until later when we have a sit down talk about being reckless with our own lives for the eighteenth time this year.” Iori sighed, a small hint of sass catching in his tone, eyes flickering to the other three in front of him. Takeru disheveled from his sudden climb down the newly formed cliff, Iori hadn’t missed how he had dismounted what was a considerable height off the ground. Ken’s light colored pants did nothing to hide the light blood starting to seep from his knees and maybe shins. Hikari was surprisingly not injured, but him noticing that left a feeling deep inside that she somehow would be in the next coming hour. 

“Has it been eighteen? It’s only been four months…” Ken pulled a face, hand in Daisuke’s hair, pausing as his other took his best friend’s hand in his own. 

“Wow… we really suck at not being risky huh…” Hikari tsked her tongue, hand rubbing up and down the injured boy’s back. 

“Mhm.” Daisuke hummed, eyes somewhat clearier than before. “This is shit.” He muttered, but unlike before each word actually had a proper sound out. 

“You’re about to be in a world of pain, dude.” Takeru snickered lightly, hand giving a soft squeeze.

“What in your right mind decided coming today was a good idea?” It was a genuine question from the youngest, not a hint of scolding in it.

“Well, this wasn’t supposed to happen.” Daisuke murmured, burying his face into Takeru’s thigh, though it didn’t provide much comfort. “I just wanted to see V.” 

“You could have just asked us to get him into the real world.” Ken sighed, continuing his scratching.

“I really thought it was fine.” Daisuke trailed off, exhaustion sinking in again. 

“Maybe listen to all of us telling you it isn’t next time, yeah?” Takeru shook his head, adjusting his hat on Daisuke’s head to make sure the boy wasn’t suddenly blinded. He’s had enough concussion to know how horrible that felt. 

“Once Jou checks you over, we’ll get you home and then tomorrow since it's the weekend we can grab the digimon and have a movie night at yours.” Ken sighed, looking up at the others in question if they would be fine with that. 

“Takeru has a better TV, and no annoying sister to come bother us.” Daisuke mumbled. 

Takeru rolled his eyes in response, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

The fight above them eventually came to an end, and Daisuke was surrounded by even more worried friends. Jou arrived with Miyako and Daisuke was cleared to officially pass out. The group stayed huddled close together until Daisuke woke up. None of them cared as they slowly walked in the dark to find a TV. Daisuke riding on Lighdramon despite protests that he could walk. 

They had all ended up sleeping in Daisuke’s room in an impromptu sleepover. Iori having a small argument (at least in their terms, for any of the others it’d be akin to just pleading) on the Motomiya’s house phone with his mom. Ken’s parents didn’t even bat an eye at the notion of him spending the night, it happened often enough and spontaneously enough. Takeru’s mom was two cities over currently anyway so he hadn’t bothered asking, he was allowed to sleep over at the Yagami’s whenever he wanted as it was, and the Motomiya’s lived in the same building. Hikari had just headed upstairs to get a pair of pjs for herself, Takeru and Miyako (Takeru had some at her place just lying there). Iori and Ken borrowed from Daisuke. 

If any of them woke up in the time frame the others were asleep and chose just to cuddle in more, then that was their business. 

And if they didn’t end up starting their day till 5 pm that day because of it, then that was also their unspoken but understood business.

Chapter Text

She knew she’d get in trouble if anyone found out. 

She had mentally prepared for that outcome. Prepared her list of reasons why it wasn’t a big deal.

Despite all of her preparation though, there was nothing she could do about the tears flowing from her eyes. She never was any good at getting in trouble, at least not like this, not by him.

“What exactly were you even thinking?” Taichi’s voice cut through the sound of the wind as he dragged her by her wrist back to the nearest TV. Tailmon and Agumon were trailing behind, sympathetic enough to give the two siblings space to talk but close enough to jump in if any danger dared to threaten them. 

Hikari’s eyes were focused on staring at where her brother held her, she could feel him vibrating. It made her feel guilty. Taichi was in his pajamas and the snow was beginning to soak them, he’d catch a cold all because of her. 

“I… I couldn’t leave them.” She willed herself to answer, sucking up at the tears that wanted to fall and attempting to keep her breath as even as possible. 

There was a slow down in Taichi’s pace, his grip loosening slightly. “Kari…” He sighed, turning around, kneeling so he could look up at his little sister and catch her eyes. She wasn’t that much shorter than him anymore, but there was still enough of a difference. “I know there were a lot of digimon that died during that fight but they’re okay now. It wasn’t in the real world.”

Hikari remained silent. 

Taichi sighed, cupping his sister’s cheeks to wipe away the tears. “Even if that weren’t the case, we made that big memorial remember. And we didn’t know every last one of those digimon. We can’t make graves for each of them, we don’t even know all of them.”

“But I do know all of them, Tai.” Hikari hiccuped out. She shoved away her brother’s hand, wiping away her own tears as she continued. “I can feel each of them, what they were, who they were. I know we made that big memorial but-” She took a gasp in, breath leaving her lungs in a way she was so unfamiliar with. “But it doesn’t feel like enough. It’s one big, I care about your death because of the cause you died for and not because of who you were.” 

Taichi stilled, his hands gently grabbing Hikari’s shoulders. “Okay. Okay. Breathe with me okay?” He demonstrated and coughed his own first attempt because of the unexpected painful icicles stabbing his throat. 

Taichi spared a glance towards Agumon and Tailmon, both picking up the hint quickly. Tailmon was gone and back with a pile of sticks in the span of a few seconds and Agumon set them ablaze. It wasn’t much but it would be something to stave off the cold. 

“Better?” Taichi coaxed softly. 

Hikari nodded, retreating into unexpressive silence. 

Taichi sighed. He wanted to scream, to make her let it go. He hated the sacrifices too, every time. Was he in the wrong for being able to move on so easily? Everyone’s words from years ago when Whalemon died played over in his head.

“I know you care. You have every right to grieve and feel horrible about all of this, but…” Taichi’s face scrunched up. His clothes may be damp and cold but Hikari was soaked at this point. He found himself wishing he were a lighter sleeper, then Tailmon could have roused him easier. He also wished Tailmon woke up sooner. He didn’t even have a clue how long Hikari had been out here, she wasn’t even properly dressed in any capacity. “This isn’t worth your well being, your life.”

Hikari shifted to look even less at him. 

Taichi stood up, taking a brief second to dust off the snow clinging to his pants. “Let’s go home. This weekend we’ll get everyone together to help with the graves, okay. Just… Please, promise me you won’t come back out here in the middle of the night freezing yourself to death.” Taichi offered his hand out, holding back the tears in his own eyes at the thought of anything happening to his sister while he slept like everything was fine. 

“It can’t wait.” Hikari choked out, “It’s getting harder to sense whatever is left, if we wait until the weekend then I’ll miss a lot.” Hikari looked her brother in the eyes, a flame of stubbornness that ran in the Yagami genes igniting. She spoke faster, but still clear, she needed her point to be heard, needed to do this. “I know I can’t do it for everyone, I'm not being unrealistic thinking I can. I know I’m gonna miss some, I know I’m gonna run out of time and this feeling is going to dissipate to the point I can discern anything special. I have to do it now, not later. It’s Monday, nii-chan. That’s 5 entire days, most of their traces will be gone. It can’t wait. I’ll be more safe I promise but—” 

“Kari!” Taichi snapped, frustration and desperation reaching a limit he didn’t realize was there, he needed his sister home and warm, now. “They’re being reborn. Whalemon remembers us. Wormmon remembers Ken. It’s not like they’re—”

“That doesn’t make it fair!” Hikari snapped back, flinching at herself before steeling again, fresh hot tears forming. If no context was given, Miyako would be proud. If context was given, she’d likely slap her again. “It doesn’t make it fair. Is it really that big of a deal that I want to give them something of their own to show that someone, anyone cared. What does it matter if they get reborn, I highly doubt dying doesn’t hurt—”

“You know that’s not what this is about!” Taichi groaned, voice rising to a shout in the way it so rarely ever did towards Hikari. “This is about you coming out here in the middle of the fucking night and risking your life for what!? Making a couple stick head stones that will be buried in snow the next week, collapsed because of another digimon! This is stupid and reckless. This isn’t worth your life!” 

“Erm, Tai.” Agumon walked up to his partner and held one of his balled up fists. 

A silence passed between them, filled only with panted breaths and strong wind. Tailmon slowly approached her partner, her tail absentmindedly wrapping around her leg. 

“Kari… I- I didn’t mean….” Taichi trailed off, hand reaching for his sister. 

Hkari pushed past him, tears falling freely down her cheeks, Tailmon practically ignored. “Let’s just go home.” 

Even though it was breathy, it was blunt and cold.

Any of the frustration and desperation that had filled Taichi earlier melted away. “Okay.” He muttered, giving his sister space as he followed behind her. 

When they dropped into their home from Taichi’s computer Hikari didn’t waste a moment before grabbing a clean pair of clothes and beelining it to the restroom to change.

“She’ll come around.” Taichi muttered sympathetically to Tailmon.

“I know.” Tailmon nodded, fully aware Hikari was upset with her for outing her absence to her brother. 

“Tai, you did say some pretty harsh things.” Koromon bounced onto his chair. 

“I know I did.” Taichi groaned, attempting to rub away the exhaustion clinging to him. “Let me just get changed.” He settled on. He needed to do something otherwise he’d be standing here for hours. 

He heard the shower turn on, accepting that Hikari was stalling any further conversation between them. 

“I’m sure Kari knows you didn’t mean them.” Koromon attempted to make him feel better. Taichi gave him an appreciative smile, watching Tailmon silently leave the room, most likely going to lay herself waiting at the bathroom door. 

“Yeah…” Taichi mumbled to himself, taking off his shirt to begin the process of getting into something warmer. He was cold, but not drenched, so changing clothes and bundling under blankets would be enough. Hikari was probably freezing in her clothes. Even if she didn’t want to stall their conversation Taichi would be a bit upset if she didn’t go take a hot shower to make sure she didn’t catch a cold. 

Taichi still wanted their mom to go get her checked out if she had an immune disease. His mom insisted she didn’t but she could just be holding out hope. Then again Taichi was catastrophizing. Hikari got sick often, her immune system wasn’t strong, but other than that there was nothing else to suggest that she had an immune disease.

He should really stop letting Jou info dump about new aliments he learned about to him. It always just serves to freak him out. 

“Tai.” He sat up in his bed, eyes immediately on Hikari. His voice caught, mind still half wandering. “I’m sorry. I won’t go out in the middle of the night again.” Taichi frowned a little at the red bitten skin undoubtedly left from his sister’s hot shower. Absent mindedly he checked the alarm clock time. She’d been in the digital world for who knows how long, and that shower for an hour. 

“Hika… You know I didn’t mean what I said in the way I said it, right?”Taichi got up from bed and moved across the room wrapping his arms around his younger sibling. 

“I know.” Hikari sighed, internally she decided not to say anything else. To say that it didn’t matter that he didn’t mean it, that he said it at all hurt. And that it did matter to her.

The two siblings stayed hugging in the middle of their room for some time, the sun was rising and Taichi desperately wanted to make up. 

“Let’s skip school okay.” Taichi pulled back. 

Hikari blinked, confused at the sudden suggestion. “Mom and Dad—”

“Let me worry about that, we won’t get into trouble and if we do I’ll take the blame, okay?” Taichi smiled at her, trying.

Hikari frowned, “I’m not sick Tai. I’m fine, I don’t need to stay home.”

Taichi’s trying smile shifted into a smirk, like an idea just hit him. “Sure you are. And so am I. Randomly caught the flu and now we can’t go to school.”

“Unlike you I like school, I get to see everyone there and—”

“Kari.” Taichi cut her off. “If we’re not at school, we can be in other places, doing something productive.” He hinted. “But fine, have it your way. Matt would bitch at me if I skipped anyway.” He let go of her, crawling back into his bed.

“Wait, no.” Hikari brightened for a second with realization, “I think I am a bit sick.” 

Taichi turned over to smile at her, lifting the blanket in a beckoning call. Hikari gave a small smile back, definitely still upset at him but way less now. She crawled into the blankets with her brother, hugging him. 

Taichi’s worry settled some in that moment. “Talk to me. I’ll help you do just about anything you want to, just let me help, and don’t risk your own well being.” He whispered into the silence of the room. Tailmon curled up at Hikari’s leg, Koromon had long fallen asleep in Taichi’s chair. Taichi felt a little guilty, usually he’d have moved him into bed with him before laying down. 

Hikari nodded into her brother’s chest. “I want to give as many of them proper respect as I can.” Her hands tightened where they held him.

It’d been awhile since they’ve slept like this. 

Hikari had got older, and bigger, and sleeping with her brother to protect her from the darkness of the world had gotten silly. 

But wrapped up in his protection now. 

Now it was just nice. 

Hikari wouldn’t lie to him, she owed her brother that much, she wouldn’t promise to never do it again, she would in a heart beat. But she wouldn’t do it right now. 

Right now. 

She was just going to enjoy this, and hope tomorrow they can pay respect to as many digimon as possible before everything is just a part of the digital world’s buzz. 

Chapter Text

“Mom?” Takeru poked his head into the apartment. 

His mom used to walk him home to and from school everyday but every now and again she wouldn’t because of work, those occurrences seemed to be happening more often than before. 

Takeru wasn’t told beforehand whether or not he would be picked up or was expected to walk home himself. His mother had never been great at communicating what her goals of the day were, too focused on keeping herself on track to do everything in the first place to bother informing her son. He learned to not ask when he realised it would take multiple attempts to get his mom to stop busying herself long enough to actually give an answer that makes sense. 

So he would wait for about thirty minutes, all the other kids leaving with friends or a parent, and then he’d walk home himself. It’s not like it was dangerous, he knew plenty of the store owners on his way home and on the days he was informed beforehand that he’d be walking by himself his mother would sometimes give him money to pick up some things for her or a snack for himself.

Takeru entered his apartment and closed the door behind him. He couldn’t reach the extra lock his mother had installed but the two main ones he locked. He took off his shoes and entered further into the apartment.

“Mom!” Takeru called out again, walking to his mother’s room. The kitchen chair his mother had dragged in there to avoid buying a desk chair was empty. Which meant she was most likely at her office for once. Though that did make sense as to why she hadn’t picked him up. 

Takeru walked back to the living room and turned on the TV, channel surfing to find something he’d like. It always felt strange to be in the apartment without his mother talking to him. TV helped, but only by a little bit. The place had plenty of items to be considered lived in, but it was also eerily tidy in a way that didn’t seem right for a single mother bouncing from one task to another and a nine year old. It became worse when it was quiet. 

Takeru looked over at the landline, considering calling the Yagami’s line and talking to Hikari and Taichi or calling his brother. He quickly denied that option, Yamato always got into a moody mixture of sadness and anger when Natsuko left him at the house alone. He also didn’t feel like bothering Hikari or Taichi. 

He looked back at the TV, continuing to skip channel after channel until stopping on a cartoon with alien sentient robots. He sat and watched it for a while, repeating lines of some of the characters to liven the apartment even a little. At some point he shifted to lay upside down, he stayed there even after it started giving him a headache, it wasn’t too bad at least. Only when he felt like he was about to throw up did he move to sit up right again, blinking away the dizziness and regretting ignoring the small headache as it turned into a huge migraine. 

The TV and the living room light were all too much now so he turned them off. 

He sat back down on the couch and leaned back, waiting out the migraine. The silence was creeping up on him and he never was a fan of the dark. He turned back on the TV after only a minute. He could live with a headache. 

Takeru sighed and looked over at the wall clock, squinting to see the hands in the low level of light the TV shined on it. Usually his mom would be heating up some dinner or ordering food for them now. 

Takeru got up and walked to the kitchen, he dragged a chair to the fridge so he could properly look inside the freezer. He couldn’t cook like Yamato but he was capable of microwaving something.

Feeding himself was the least he could do for his mom. If she was staying out this late then it meant she would be really tired and he hated causing trouble for her when that happened. She already did a lot for him. Takeru’s grip was maybe a bit tighter than necessary when he finally grabbed the opened package of grilled onigiri rice balls and a single serving unopened package of fried chicken. He turned around to hop off the chair with his finds when he spotted it. 

Takeru stayed frozen in place as tears made it to his eyes and his throat clogged up. The bags in his hands crumpled and he looked to his feet as he continued his task. 

It wouldn’t make sense. 

She wouldn’t. 

He repeated in his head like a mantra, mindlessly going through the task of getting himself a plate, vision blurring but it didn’t matter, he wasn’t paying attention to what he was seeing anyway. The noise of the TV in the background was muffled as he silently cried. He shoved the serving he’d put on the plate into the microwave, unsure how much it was or what to even put in for the time. He pressed the start button 5 times out of instinct, and sank to the floor to catch his own breath.

The panicky sadness from before morphed into an angry resentment. 

He wasn’t sure what it was towards. 

It was just a note. 

A note that realistically Natsuko left to say she would be out late and instructions on what she expected. It wasn’t the first time she’d left one when she was out either. Then again this, or well something similar had happened then. 

Takeru curled up into himself, he wanted to punch something, throw something, scream, cry. He couldn’t pinpoint why. It was just a note. 

His mom used notes all the time to communicate. 

Like when she had given a note to Yamato to give to their father as she stormed out of their old apartment with a duffle bag. Yamato had read it out of curiosity, and shut Takeru down immediately when he asked what it said. 

Takeru might have been only 3 at the time but looking back at it, it wasn’t hard to figure out what it said. 

Takeru hit his head back into the counter, ignoring the thought. It wasn’t like his mom only communicated negative things on notes. She left plenty with basic instructions. He tried to focus on that instead but instance after instance kept crawling its way into the present.

Reading the note would reassure him, there was no reason not to read it. 

Takeru groaned, closing his eyes tightly, the microwave beeped angrily at him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and got off the floor. He wiped at his eyes again and then his nose. 

It was equally likely he was as angry as he was because of his own dumb reaction rather than the note itself. He had no right to be mad at his mom after all. She did everything she could for him. 

Takeru grabbed the plate out of the microwave and checked the food. It wasn’t particularly hot but he couldn’t will himself to wait any longer to eat. If he was eating then he was doing something, and if he was doing something then it was harder to focus on his thoughts. So he sat back on the couch and ate. 

His mom still wasn’t home by the time he had finished eating so he cleaned the dishes. He scared himself as he lost grip on the mug his mom had her coffee in this morning, it didn’t break as he was holding it in the sink only slightly up but it still made a loud noise. 

There were really only 5 dishes so he went to his mom’s room and looked through her bookcase. He liked to read, and it always served as a better distraction from the lone— weird feeling of the apartment. His mom hadn’t really gotten any new books in the past year, so with the exception of the two bottom rows of her shelf (that she had explicitly told him he wasn’t allowed to read) he had read every book at least once. Which seems like a hard feat but really wasn’t when you had as much free time as he did. 

He picked out a copy of The Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino and went back to the living room to read it. The turned the light out in order to actually see the pages and lowered the TV volume enough so he could actually focus on the words of the book but could still have some level of noise in the empty room. 

He technically wasn’t supposed to have ever read The Devotion of Suspect X, but his mom had put it on the third shelf in a rush one day and by the time his mom had noticed he was too interested in the story to not sneak it away when she wasn’t looking. By the time she had caught him he was nearly done with the book. So she had given up and let him finish it. He didn’t understand all of it, but he loved the murder mystery aspect enough to not mind. He had some theories but his mother said she would have no part in confirming or denying them. 

It was 12 by the time he put the book down. The channel had switched to some sit-com that Takeru had zero interest in. Hikari loved sit-coms but he never got the appeal. He grabbed a bookmark that was laying randomly on the shelf in the living room and marked his space.

Takeru got up from the couch and walked back to his mom’s room to put up the book, the TV’s low volume leaving him in silence as he carefully shoved the book back in place.

He knew he should be asleep by now. His mom always insisted on him going to bed at 12, but it was too quiet and she wasn’t home yet. So he settled to take a shower. He made sure to raise the TV volume just enough so he could hear it over the water. He made a game of it, every word he could make out he’d repeat it out loud. 

He had hoped by the time he was out that his mom would be home, but no luck. 

He went back to the couch, lowering the volume again out of courtesy for the chance his neighbors could hear it. He really didn’t feel like bothering the nice couple next to them. They would share their homemade desserts and dinners with them on occasion and he knew how much of a relief that was to his mom’s work load. 

He shifted to lay down on the couch but quickly sat up when he felt himself drifting off. 

The door finally clicked open and he looked over to it. 

Natsuko walked into the apartment, exhaustion etched on her face. “Hmm? Keru? What are you doing here? Didn’t you read the note I left you?” His mom placed her bag down and walked over to him. 

Takeru’s nerves seemed to sting with the feeling of being stabbed at the thought of that note he chose to shrug. “I didn’t see it, sorry.” He stood up and hugged her, hiding his face into her clothes, hoping she wouldn’t notice his level of distress. 

A hand was in his hair the next second, carding through it in the gentle way Yamato more commonly did than his mother. When he’d asked in the past, Yamato admitted he’d gotten it from their mom. It did make him question why she usually opted to rub his back instead of petting his head like she apparently used to for Yamato but he chalked it up to the fact he often wore hats. 

“You’re okay sweetie. I’ll just take you in the morning tomorrow." Natsuko sighed, this edge of frustration mixing with the exhaustion. 

“Where?” Takeru so brilliantly stringed together, his arms tightening around his mother. 

“You really didn’t read my letter hm?” Natsuko pulled away and crouched, Takeru held his breath hoping it would make him seem less panicked. “I love you with all my heart, but I can’t keep being here all the time.” She started, face looking to the ground ashamed. “I’m tired, my love. This is a lot to deal with.” She gestured to the apartment, to the world. “You’re a lot to deal with, and I wish I could but I can’t. I have been barely scraping by day by day. I need you to know that I love you, but I can’t keep dealing with you.”

Takeru’s heart sank, he couldn’t speak, it hurt. Lava hot tears ran down his face without his permission and he hated it. He hated being a burden. Hated he knew this was coming. Hated he understood and couldn’t be mad at her. 

“I’m so sorry, my darling. You get to be with your brother and father now though. It’s just… You’ve really been draining me.” Natsuko rubbed his shoulders as a way to sooth.

Takeru just hiccuped. It wasn’t fair for him to protest, but he found himself doing so anyways. “Please,” he choked out, “please no. I’ll do more around the house. I’ll help and be useful. Yama’s been teaching me to cook some. I can cook. I can go get things from the store more so you don’t have too. Please.” He was fully sobbing and babbling now. 

He probably was making his case worse by sobbing like a small child so he tried to stop by putting all his focus on the noise of the TV. He fails miserably when he notices his mother had turned it off at some point. 

“Sweetie…” It was a sigh of exhaustion. When she made that noise the argument was over. She was tired of listening to someone talk stupid to her. 

“Please, I’m sorry, don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me. Please. Please. Please. Please. I’ll be more useful, I promise. Please. I can be independent just please.” 

“Sweetie.” It was firm.

The world was bleary and he couldn’t make out her face. He closed his eyes, tired of his own pathetic crying. 

“Sweeite.” She was shaking his shoulder trying to get his attention. 

Who was he to deny her anything? 

Takeru opened his eyes, not really sure when he had ended up back on the couch much less laying sideways on it. His mother’s face was looking at him full of concern. 

The explosion from the TV startled him into realization. 

“Hey there, you were having a bad nightmare?” Natsuko spoke so softly. Takeru sat up quickly and hugged her, she rubbed his back as she squeezed, moving to sit on the couch next to him instead of crouching in front of him. “Was it about the digital world and Patamon again?” 

Takeru stiffened but nodded his head, unwilling to admit the truth. 

He was fine. 

He didn’t have any problems from his family’s situation. He had a loving mother and father and brother. He had no reason or right to have any problems with it. It sucked that they weren’t all together and it sucked when he heard what other kids, teachers and parents would say about them, but they all loved each other, they all cared. So he had no right to have a problem with it all.

He was fine. 

“I told you not to stay up for me.” His mother sighed, kissing him on the head. “You wanna come sleep with me tonight?”

Takeru nodded at the offer, he was embarrassed to accept it given how old he was but he couldn’t stand another second alone in this dead apartment. 

“Okay.’ Natsuko whispered. “Let me get dressed and we can sleep.” She kissed his head again but he couldn’t will himself to let go just yet. Natsuko didn’t mind, holding tighter in response. 

Natsuko would wait for as long as her son needed to get away from those horrific memories of the digital world. 

Chapter Text

Taichi's apartment feels safe in a way that his own doesn't, maybe that's why he found his way here instead of anywhere else, despite him freezing himself to death in this damn snow. So why was he such a coward to not even knock. 

The walk here from his empty apartment had taken about 38 minutes, it would have been only 14 if the trains weren’t closed. But of course he had decided to run to his best friend’s apartment at 3 in the morning like a crazy person instead of being any sort of normal.

Yamato leaned forward, hitting his head to the door. Taichi had joked once about convincing his mom and dad to let him have a key but it was just that, a joke. It’s not like it would help much. Yamato couldn’t really feel his fingers.

It was just another consequence of him stupidly coming here at 3 in the morning with only a thin muscle shirt and loosely fitting pajama pants in the fucking winter. Yeah, he had screwed himself. 

Yamato balled his hands up into fist, it hurt and it took him a second to register that he had in fact succeeded in making fists. He brought his hand up and knocked lightly. 

This was stupid. 

He straightened, shivering as he talked himself down from bombarding his best friend and his family at 3 in the morning. Sure it was winter break, but still it would be an asshole move to wake them all up. 

Yamato backed away from the door, softly knocking on it to humor himself. No one in the Yagami family was a light sleeper, none of them would ever hear that knock and actually respond to it. 

He turned and started walking back to the stair, the elevator to the building forever broken it would seem. 

“Matt?”

Yamato startled, and jolted to look back. Taichi was standing there, peeking out the door. He had a light jacket thrown on, on top of his PJs, his pajamas in general looked warmer and fluffier than Yamato’s.

Taichi gave him a concerned and confused look. “What are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night, man.” Taichi stepped out into the large hallway, shaking instantly at the gust of wind amplifying the already cold air. “Shit man, it's freezing.” Still though, Taichi walked to him. “What’s going on?”

Yamato opened his mouth to speak, to explain, to excuse, to say something. He couldn’t get anything out before Taichi was taking off his jacket and wrapping it around him.

“Dude you look like a fucking ghost. Come on, we can talk inside.” Taichi tugged the collar of his jacket as he walked backwards, snapping Yamato out of his inattentive daze. Taichi seemed to realize and turned around to walk like normal, grabbing Yamato’s wrist as a just in case. 

Taichi pulled him into his apartment and closed the door. 

“Seriously man it’s cold as fuck out there, what happened? Did you and your dad get into a fight or something?” Taichi frowned, upset at the blond’s recklessness. It wasn’t the first time, and he by no means minded having him over unannounced but it was 5 degrees celsius outside and given the time the trains were not running, not to mention the dumbass was wearing the least protective clothing of all time for this cold. 

“I… I wasss um… No. No fight.” Yamato answered, unsure why the hell he was even here himself. 

Taichi’s frown grew at the slurred speech and very obvious panting. He leaned over the corner and turned on the light. “Dude…” Taichi hissed out at the sight of Yamato in actual light. His cheeks, nose, chin, and fingers were a dangerously red color and his eyes were glazed over in a daze that made every fiber of Taichi’s body want to scream for his mom to come help. 

He couldn’t do that though. His parents and Hikari were all with his grandparents, in an attempt to stave away Hikari’s gloominess by getting her away from the city and this cold ass winter for a while. 

Taichi rushed past Yamato the boy tracking his movements a second or two after. Taichi grabbed his phone and started typing. 

‘What can happen when perosn is out in the cold for too long’

He mentally flipped off google’s note of his spelling mistake, and took note of the main answers he was getting. Frostbite and hypothermia. 

If Yamato had frostbite it was minor, he’d seen frostbite in movies enough to know what it looked like. Taichi paused. Movies were a really bad place to get information. He looked up pictures of frostbite and scrolled through the ugly pictures of black skin and swollen blisters, every once in a while seeing a picture that worryingly matched the extreme red color of Yamato’s fingers, nose, chin and cheeks. 

‘Frostbite woh to trest’

He clicked on the first article, and scrolled to the treatment section. 

“Tai?” 

“Protect skin, get out of cold, check for hypothermia…” Taichi mumbled off, opening a new tab to look up hypothermia symptoms and treatment.

“Wheress ever’one?”

Taichi looked up to see Yamato had staggered his way in and out of his and Hikari’s room, and probably his parents’ room too. 

“At my grandparents, I opted out because my coach wanted help with a three day soccer camp. Grab some warm clothes from my drawer and put them on.” Taichi looked back at his phone. 

Definitely mild hypothermia if the slurred speech and dazed look were anything to go off. 

“Mm, not wering your clothesss.” Yamato staggered to the couch and sat down. 

Taichi had the urge to punch him, but sighed instead. He understood what Jou meant by Yamato being the most difficult person on earth to take care of. Hikari might not tell you what’s wrong or even if something's wrong, but she at least actually accepted being taken care of and cooperated. “You’ve worn my shit before.” Taichi reasoned, squinting at the blond now sitting behind him. 

“Tha waz diff-rant.” Yamato leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling.

Taichi took a breath in and reasoned to himself that strangling his best friend wasn’t a good idea. “Fine, fine, at least take off your shoes.” 

“Hmm?” Yamato looked at him like he had grown an extra head.

“Shoes. Off.” Taichi stated again. 

Yamato just blinked at him and made no movement whatsoever. 

“Seriously?” Taichi sighed, tossing his phone onto the couch and leaning down to take off his best friend's shoes himself, he looked up to see Yamato was back to staring at the ceiling. Taichi’s urge to punch the blond melted into his already present worry. He took off his socks with a little hesitation but decided it was for the best when he saw the same dangerous bright red coloring his toes. 

“Matt, are you still awake?” Taichi got up, using Yamato’s thigh rather than the couch to push his weight up in a hope to get some type of annoyed remark. 

“Hmm? Wha’s up?” Yamato’s breaths were still coming out in short pants, which Taichi took as a sign from the hypothermia since if it was from him running it should be over already. 

“I’m gonna grab some stuff, don’t move and stay awake unless you want me to call your mom and Takeru.” Taichi held his eyes and Yamato just nodded. 

Taichi huffed going over to the kitchen and picking out a large bowl. His dad usually used it for popcorn but it was the only one big enough for someone’s feet to fit in so it would have to do. He placed it in the sink and turned on the hot water. 

The hot water in his apartment, especially in the winter, wasn’t really all the hot, only ever slightly edging away from warm water territory. Which according to the article he was trusting would be the perfect temperature to warm up frostbite without doing damage. 

Taichi watched as the bowl slowly filled up, trying to think what else he could do.

The teen looked back to check on his out of it friend, worrying over what exactly had caused him to come here tonight. 

Yamato had slept over plenty of times, mostly during planned sleep overs or impromptu sleepovers because they lost track of time and decided Yamato might as well just stay over after calling his dad to inform him. 

But there were a couple times like tonight, even on school nights, when Yamato would knock on the door or text him or call him that he was outside. Always in the middle of the night, always with a miserable and angry look on his face. 

The first time it happened Taichi and him had ended up in a small whisper yelling argument, that eventually led to them wrestling on the floor of Taichi’s and Hikari’s room. Hikari had asked them to stop but they didn’t. Not until Yamato was crying and spilling his guts. That first night had ended with Yamato and Taichi asleep together in Taichi’s bed. 

The second time Yamato had tried to walk away when Taichi had asked what was up. Taichi wrestled him back inside until they were outside again, except on the balcony where Hikari couldn’t hear them talk, as Yamato vented about home. 

It’s not like Yamato was saying his father was horrible, by all accounts he wasn’t. He tried his best and did what he could. But he wasn’t perfect. And neither was Yamato. And so while in the past clashes would end with Yamato locking himself in his room until morning when him and his dad would finally talk things out civilized like. Now, Yamato would rush out the door and at Taichi’s instead. 

An escape from it all. 

Somewhere where he didn’t feel all alone. 

Taichi grew to appreciate Yamato showing up unannounced. He felt a sense of pride in being considered a safe place. He did just wish that it was because of a random want and not because his best friend and his dad got into a small fight. 

Nights like this though always somewhat scared him.

Nights that Yamato would show up unannounced and not rant about his and his father’s latest drama. The drama, even when it was really bad, Taichi was sure would always work itself out given enough time. Yamato and his dad loved each other enough to put that effort into working things out. 

It was nights like this, when Yamato arrived looking like the world was destroyed and didn’t have a hint of anger in his frame that really worried Taichi. The blond would have this look of desperation, he never knew what it was for but he tried to fill it in any way. Yamato never got annoyed during these nights. He just seemed sad and tired. Done. 

Taichi opened the cabinet above his head and grabbed a teapot and mug. He filled the mug with some of the sink water to an acceptable level and then dumped that water into the teapot. Taichi turned on the stove and placed the tea pot on it to boil the water. Saying a silent prayer to any god that might exist that be doesn’t burn the water again somehow like he did trying to make him and Hikari hot chocolate last week. 

He looked back over his shoulder to check Yamato hadn’t moved.

He added to his prayer that if he was gonna somehow end up burning the water again that he’d at least get a reaction of fond exasperation from the blond.

Taichi walked to his room and quickly pulled off his comforter from his bed. He walked back into the living room and dumped it on the couch. Yamato at least acknowledges its presence next to him. 

“Movie night idiot, get comfortable.” Taichi attempts to coax him into bundling himself up. Luckily it seems to work as Yamato grabs the blanket and wraps it around himself, pausing to properly put on Taichi’s jacket instead of just letting it hang on his shoulders. 

Taichi turns off the faucet and carries the bowl to the living room, placing it on the floor to scoot the coffee table away and then placing the bowl properly in place in front of Yamato. “Matt feet.” Taichi pointed to the bowl, Yamato snuggled further into the blanket that was brought to him, unwilling to uncurl and expose his feet to the cool air of the apartment again. 

Taichi sighed, reaching to forcefully retrieve the other’s ankles. 

“No, ssstop, itss cold.” Yamato scrunched up his nose, kicking the other lightly with a scowl.

Taichi was gonna punch him. He was gonna do it. He was gonna kill his best friend. “It’ll help dumbass!” 

Yamato raised a hand to push Taichi’s face away, Taichi flinched at the contact. 

“Fuck man, you are litterally freezing to death, let me help make it better!” Taichi groaned, slapping the hand out of the way and wrestling the blond to dunk his frostbitten feet into the warm water. Despite Yamato’s movements being slightly clumsy and the fact Taichi always won their physical fights, the blond still was able to delay Taichi a decent amount. 

But eventually.

“Tha’ feelss nice.” Yamato hummed, blinking slowly as he curled his toes in the warm water. It was still painful to move, like pins pricking him, but less so than before. 

“Almost like I’m trying to make you feel better.” Taichi grumbled, glaring at Yamato. 

Taichi went around the couch and back to the kitchen, the tea pot letting out a faint whistle. He looked through the cabinets and retrieved an opened box of Genmaicha tea bags, his mother loved the flavor, Taichi thought it was alright. 

“S’rry.” 

Taichi turned off the flame and went about preparing the serving, careful not to burn himself. “I don’t care about you coming here man, I just care that you got yourself hurt doing it.” Taichi sighed, “What would you have done if I wasn’t home?” Taichi placed the teapot down, leaning his weight onto the counter. Now that he thought about it the knocks on the door were way too light, if he hadn’t been up watching a movie like the irresponsible teenager he was he would not have answered, not to mention Yamato was clearly walking away.

“Go home.” Came the mumbled response. 

Taichi looked back at his friend and tore a paper towel to carry the mug with. “Then the frostbite would have been worse.” He sighed and sat next to Yamato offering the mug. 

Yamato still seemed over all out of it but he was slightly more present. Maybe the wrestling brought his attention to reality a little. He took the mug with a nod to signal his thanks. “It would’v’ been fine. You didn’t hav’ to do all thiss.” Yamato took a sip of the drink, wincing after burning his tongue. 

“Matt, why are you here?” Tachi shifted to face him. The warmth from the mug should help Yamato’s fingers but afterward he’ll get a small bowl of warm water just in case. 

“Winterss jusst— I couldn’t—” Yamato does this for a bit, stopping and starting a sentence but quitting after only two or three words in, until finally, “I don’t know wha’s wrong with me.” Yamato’s grip on the mug tightens, some feeling in his fingers returning. “This always seems to happen and I don’t know what I’m doing. I just… I knew I couldn’t stay in that damn apartment so I just… I left. I left a note telling my dad I was going to yours and then I just…” Yamato shrugged. “Everything there just made everything feel worse… here at least its all just bad and not bad and getting worse.”

“Okay…” Taichi thought for a moment, getting up from the couch and grabbing the remote, he put on a bright smile. “Well then, guess I just gotta make you feel better for at least a bit, yeah?” He woke up the TV and exited the movie he was watching, scrolling to prime video.

“Tai.”

“I know, I know. No need to thank your savior. I’ll make everything better okay?” Taichi gave Yamato a big smile, there was a clear sign of worry etched on his face that Yamato hated looking at. 

“Tai… it doesn’t work like that…” Yamato sighed. 

Taichi looked down, he knew that already. He’d tried so many times to help his sister out of her depressive episodes after the doctor told them about HIkari’s seasonal depression with no luck to know there was no quick fix. The most he could do is help manage it from falling off the deep end and maybe just maybe help it run its course a bit quicker. “Yeah… I know.”

Yamato looked away, “s’rry for putting thiss all one you, I’m an idiot.” 

Taichi frowned, “No,” he shut his statement down. “You’re not. Well, for other things yes, you are. Glad you see that,” He joked lightly, “but not for this. Never for this.” Taichi shifted to face Yamato on the couch, “I’m glad you came to me tonight, okay man.” 

Yamato looked at him, and nodded. 

Taichi turned back his focus on putting on a movie he knew Yamato enjoyed. 

It wouldn’t make anything better, they both knew that. Nothing Taichi did would make anything feel better. 

But it would stop everything from feeling worse. 

And sometimes that’s all you can do. 

Sometimes that’s all you need. 

Chapter Text

That pamphlet. 

The boxes. 

The damn envelope with his name on it. Of all the ways. 

Fuck Yamato. 

Fuck this. 

He needed to leave. He needed away. He couldn't sit here and pretend. Not this time. Not with the pain in his throat and head and eyes and lungs. Fuck. He hated crying. He really, really, really, really, hated it. 

He hated this more. 

But he couldn’t leave. 

So instead he was sitting curled up on his brother’s mostly bare bed, willing the tears to stay unshed. 

He knew the second they did he wouldn’t be able to right himself. 

His one hope now was that Yamato took forever at the store like always. Long enough for this feeling to go away. Long enough that he wouldn’t fuck everything up. Long enough for him to tape together his mask because he should be happy. He should be. 

He’d be a shitty person to not be. 

He was a shitty person. 

Maybe if he had just bothered to say something instead of some stupid note.

Anger festered and rose.

Stop.

He was screaming at himself internally. 

He was going to fucking break something. 

Takeru closed his eyes and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, hard enough it hurt, but it took his attention away from everything, just for a second. 

He had no right to be mad about this. 

This was a good thing. It was a good thing. 

Takeru sighed out a shaky breath, wiping his eyes without thought of the wetness. If he didn’t think about it it would dissipate faster. He laid down staring up where a poster of the galaxy used to be. 

That’s what started this. 

He had noticed that stupid poster was gone just like he noticed the piled up boxes and some many other things of Yamato that he was missing. 

He knew his brother was moving to live in the dorms because it was easier. Dad didn’t have enough money for a second car and Yamato wanted to be diligent with going to classes. 

That’s what Yamato had told him, with this soft smile. 

Takeru had felt a little hurt at the lie, but it made him wonder what exactly was a lie. The face Yamato made told him it was a lie but the words, the reasoning, it was all concrete. Takeru chose to ignore it. It was easier to ignore it. 

Then he decided to look for the notebook he had left at Yamato’s a week ago and then he saw a letter with his name on it. 

Curiosity killed the cat. 

Takeru definitely felt dead now.

He sat up, calmed down now enough to put on an act. He got up from the bed and grabbed the letter addressed to him. He walked out into the messy dining room, and into their father’s room. He opened the top drawer and found what he was looking for. 

He was mad, he paused his actions. He took a moment to assess what the hell he was doing. He was never very good at processing and understanding his own emotions. Ironic, considering how in depth he seemed to be capable of writing emotion and reading them on those that he knew. 

He wasn’t mad at the news, he decided. He was… sad… proud… anxious… but not mad. What he was mad about was the lying, the stupid damn letter. 

He also decided that he probably was over reacting. He decided that he should get over it and be happy and pretend he didn’t see anything, pretend he didn’t read it. Wait for his brother to initiate the conversation. 

Yamato was shit at initiating conversations. 

Takeru also decided that he didn’t really care about what he should do. 

He placed the stolen item from his father into his pocket and left the room. He put on his shoes, not bothering with his jacket, then left the apartment and walked up the stairs. Yamato would find him, eventually. 

Takeru waited at the very top of the stairs, retrieving the lighter he grabbed from his dad’s drawer and flicked it on and off to entertain himself. It was a small distraction from his thoughts. 

He wanted to burn the letter and scream, but that would definitely call way too much attention. 

“Teeks?” Takeru looked down and to the side to see his brother climbing up the last set of stairs. “I know it’s the end of February and all that but it’s still cold out and you can still catch a cold.” Yamato scolded lightly, heading up the last flight of stairs. “What are you doing—”

Takeru brought the flame to the corner of the letter. Eyes focusing more on it than on Yamato. 

Yamato didn’t say anything, retreating into silence. 

Yamato was shit at initiating conversations. 

“When?” Takeru started, returning the lighter into his pocket, eyes never leaving the burning paper in his hand. 

“I got the acceptance letter a couple months ago.” Yamato looked down at his feet in shame. 

“When?” Takeru stated again, he wanted to elaborate but he already felt himself on the edge of a blade and he hated when he fell and let anger win above everything else, especially towards his brother. 

Yamato sighed, seemingly understanding what Takeru was actually asking. “I… I don’t know. I was gonna tell you, I promise, I just… didn’t know how…”

“And you thought a fucking letter was the best course of action?!” Takeru snapped, tears gathering at his eyes again. “What were you gonna do leave it on the fucking counter before high tailing it to the airport?” 

“What? No! I would never do that to you. I swear that is the last thing I’d ever do.” Yamato's eyes met Takeru’s.

“Then why write a fucking letter of all things?” Takeru gritted out, trying to stop himself from yelling any more. 

“I just… You know I’m not good at talking about things coherently, I just wanted to give you something that was clear cut because I know that’s easier for you. The working plan was to just give it to you to read while I sat next to you. This… this isn’t how I wanted you to find out.” Yamato explained taking a step up to get closer to his brother slowly, non-verbally asking permission to sit next to him.

“Stanford University huh…” Takeru sighed, some of the tension left his body. The flame traveling along the paper was nearly to his hand but he didn’t care all that much. 

“I don’t have to go.” Yamato started, taking the lowering of his little brother’s shoulders as permission to at least climb a few steps closer. “I still don’t mind going to Osa—”

“What? No. Stanford is ranked first in aerospace, you can’t give that up.” Takeru scoffed, finally dropping the paper and stamping it out with his foot. Takeru’s own brain instantly supplied a coincidental correlation to the flame and his own anger, he shoved it to the side. “I’m not mad you’re going to Stanford. That’s amazing Yama, I already get to brag that my brother’s a rockstar now I get to brag he’s a big shot going to Stanford for Aerospace engineering.” Takeru scooted to the side, offering that final signal that Yamato was welcome to sit next to him.

Yamato sighed, taking the offer, “So you’re just mad about the letter?” Yamato leaned forward, trying to look Takeru in the eyes. 

“I guess, yeah. Well, no. I’m a bit pissed you lied to me but I guess the letter is the big thing.” Takeru looked away, taking in the lights of the city at night. 

Yamato clicked his tongue, “That stupid huh?” 

“Yeah, it was.” Takeru looked over at Yamato, “How would you like to just find a letter addressed to you explaining I was dipping to another country after telling you to your face I’d just be in a completely different place?” 

Yamato winced at the idea. The memories of angrily written notes of one parent leaving and never coming back addressed to the other parent would always be present in his mind. While the notes were always their mom addressing their father or their father addressing the mother, they were the collateral. He always seemed to forget that despite his best efforts to keep him from it all, Takeru very much understood and remembered that stuff too. 

Yamato looked over at Takeru, his younger brother had the evidence of tears etched on his skin but the look he was offering told him he had gotten the reassurance he needed to be over it, at least mostly. 

“To be fair, you went through my stuff.” Yamato joked, offering his little brother a smirk. 

Takeru perked up, seemingly content with seriousness in the air dissipating. Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back. “Well maybe we should learn to hide things better when we know we have a brother that has snooped through our stuff in the past.” Takeru stuck his tongue out at him.

“Oh my god…” Yamato groaned, burying his face into his hands, “Please don’t bring up the—”

“The what? The condoms? The lube? The porn magazines? The fle—” Takeru let out a full on mischievous giggle as Yamato shoved him into the railing. 

“Shut up, you are too young to know what all that is.” Yamato groaned. 

Takeru just kept cackling, “It’s kind of hard not to know when I have you as a brother.”

“Shut up.” Yamato groaned, edging into a plea. “I swear I’m gonna shove you down the stairs.” 

Takeru snickered, “No you won’t. You loooovvveee me too much to do that.” Takeru leaned into his brother’s shoulder, grinning wide. He was going to miss this. 

“Well at least I know you aren’t pissed at me anymore.” Yamato half uncovered his face to glance at Takeru. 

“Oh I still am, that was the stupidest thing in the world.” Takeru hummed out. 

“Yeah, but I’m mostly out from under the bus. You cuss a lot when you’re mad.” Yamato huffed, wrapping an arm around Takeru’s shoulder. 

“Wonder who I picked that up from?” Takeru questioned sarcastically. 

The answer; Yamato, their mother, Taichi and the more creative curses from their father and surprisingly Daisuke (who picked it up from Jun).

But mainly Yamato and their mother.

.

..

…

Mainly mainly Yamato.

“Oh shut up, I try to keep it down around you.” Yamato sighed.

Takeru pulled slightly away to give Yamato an unimpressed face, “Could have fooled me.”

“Yeah yeah. That doesn’t explain your dramatic flair, fucking lighting it on fire for the fuck of it.” Yamato grumbled.

“Oh… so I’m dramatic is what you’re saying?” Takeru gave his brother an amused smirk.

“You lit the letter on fire as if it were a count down for how long you were gonna interrogate me, you literally put it out when you started reassuring me that I should go.” Yamato scoffed. 

“I wonder who I got that from?” Takeru exaggerated each word. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?! I’m not that dramatic.” Yamato took offense to the statement. 

Takeru deadpanned, “You decided to kill Taichi because a talking tree told you it would help you find who you are and your purpose in life.”

“....” Yamato turned away from Takeru, “Okay, fair. Point taken.”

Takeru laughed, leaning back into his place on his brother’s shoulder. 

“If you ever need me, I can take a gateway to get here in a few minutes.” Yamato’s grip tightened. 

“I know.” Takeru nodded his head. 

And he did know. 

They were separated as kids for long periods of time with no way of communicating. Now they had phones, personal phones, not just landlines, and a mode of transportation faster than anything they could wish for. This would be fine. 

Takeru hated that stupid letter. But he was happy for his brother. 

They’d always be there for each other.

Mimi was in America and Takeru still kept up with her. 

So it wasn’t the end of the world. 

Him in Japan and his brother in California.

They’d be fine.

“Where the fuck did you get that lighter anyway?” 

“Dad’s drawer.”

“You need to put that back.”

“But imagine how funny it’ll be to watch him look for it and have to go buy a new one.”

“Keru.”

“Fine…”

Chapter Text

“How much longer do you wanna sit here?” The question was soft, careful in a way the brunette so rare was. Taichi was out of his depth, staring at the young teen in front of him. His mind was rambling a laundry list of things to do, call Yamato, hug Takeru and fix every single one of his problems, get the teen to get off this damn cliffside.

He figured that the last one was the most pressing.

“Until sunrise.” Takeru’s answer was a bit of a surprise, it was the first thing Taichi had heard him say since he got here. It made him happy to hear the younger talk, but the answer itself distressed him. 

Taichi swallowed his own distress, choosing to just say anything to get Takeru to keep talking, “Well, if we’re staying til sunrise it’d be nice to know why.” 

For the first time since Taichi got there Takeru looked over at him. It was short lived as the other turned back to the view of the forest spanning below them. The digital world was beautiful at night. “It’s nice out here.” 

Taichi sighed, “Yeah, it is, but… if I’m being honest bud, you’re kinda scaring me.” The brunette gave a small nervous laugh. 

Takeru glanced at him again, thankfully taking the hint and shuffling backward slightly. He was still closer to the edge than Taichi would have liked but it was a distance that relieved some of his anxiety. 

“I’m not gonna fall that easily, Tai.” Takeru stated quietly, wrapping his arms around his knees tighter. 

“That’s not what I’m worried about…” Taichi muttered, eyes trailing to the exposed skin of Takeru’s legs, basketball shorts doing little to hide the splotches of red agitated skin. 

“Hmm?” Takeru tilted his head, following the brunette’s gaze. “Oh…” Takeru’s legs shifted, but he didn’t exactly have a way to cover them up like he did with the scratch marks under his shirt. Technically Yamato’s shirt but same same. 

“What happened?” Taichi maneuvered from where he had been patiently sitting criss-crossed to crawl towards the blond. 

“Mom and Dad got into it. Matt joined. I didn’t want to stay, so I came here.” Takeru shrugged. He knew he should have charged and brought his noise canceling headphones just in case, but he had hoped that his parents (and subsequently Yamato) could last the 5 days under the same roof. 4 days was apparently their limit if this night was anything to go by, which honestly he should be happy about, that was longer than in the past. 

“Okay.” Taichi inhaled, he never really knew what to say when it came down to Takeru and Yamato’s parents. On one hand, he’s met both of them and interacted with them, even slept under their roofs during sleepovers before. They were nice, pretty damn cool, and you could tell they deeply loved their sons with all their heart. On the other hand, there were nights and days like this, where he’d heard stories. Stories that made him instinctively want to say “fuck them”, made him want to be the friend that was a milimeter from fighting his friend’s parents for them. 

It was complicated when you looked in from the outside. Taichi knew, he knew, that Hiroaki and Natsuko loved their sons to death, but he also knew that they had both hurt them so many times over in proxy wars and just as general collateral. 

The one time Taichi had even edged on telling Yamato how shitty his parents were, before he knew just how complicated the situation really was, Yamato had nearly snapped his head off. It wasn’t just a thing of shitty parents with the children disillusioning themselves into justifying it and loving their parents despite everything just because they were their parents. It was two heavily flawed people genuinely trying their best to raise their sons and sometimes that best was good enough and other times it fell short and they would hurt them. 

After all this time, Taichi’s even started seeing just how Yamato and Takeru themselves feed into the complexity of their family, mostly from Yamato given Takeru was a lot more avoidant of talking about it or even showing how he felt about it in any type of way, which really was in itself part of him feeding into the problem. 

Taichi really felt like he should text Yamato that he found his brother sitting in the digital world, but given what he was just told his best friend was likely still arguing with his parents about just having to ruin the peace for a petty argument (at least that was his guess given past events he knew about). If he wasn’t then he was probably in the bathroom trying to calm down, ran to the park near his apartment to calm down, or was in bed silently crying trying not to wake up “Takeru”. Taichi knew the boy next to him well enough to know he had probably thought ahead to make it seem like he was asleep. 

In any of the following cases, raising Yamato’s attention to the situation at hand right at this moment might just make things worse for both of the brothers. 

“You okay?” Taichi leaned forward trying to catch the younger’s eyes. 

Takeru looked over at him and pursed his lips, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah I know stupid question.” Taichi grumbled with a mix of a sigh.

“I’m fine, it happens.” Takeru hugged himself a bit more. 

“TK…”

A silence grew between them. Taichi wanted more than anything to make everything okay for Takeru, the blond was like a little brother to him. It had already freaked him out when he got a message from Koushiro asking if he went to the digital world, mostly because he knew Taichi would then check on Hikari. Hikari had a habit of going in the middle of the night when she had nightmares, and scarily enough had ended up sleep-walking herself through a gateway twice. Taichi was really hoping it was a case of normal sleep-walking and not homeostasis induced sleep-walking.

He hadn’t bothered to respond to Koushiro that it wasn’t him or Hikari when he saw his sister fast asleep above him, he just got concerned and curious who else it could be and came without thinking. Which was fine. Koushiro would just assume he went to grab Hikari, considering Takeru’s red dot would now be joined with his own. 

“Did… did you fall?” Taichi tried to start up a conversation again. The only times he heard Takeru this quiet was when the blond was reading or with the entire group acting playfully chaotic together. And at those times Takeru held fast onto a smile. 

Takeru now was… scary. 

Scary in the sense that Taichi was scared for him. 

The blond’s eyes weren’t filled with their usual playful mirth, his mouth was stuck in a small neutral frown, and he was still in a way that wasn’t even swaying a fraction. 

Taichi hated seeing him like this. He would be happier if the younger digidestined suddenly broke down in tears because at least then there would be some type of emotion running through him that would make him seem alive. 

“Yeah, sure.” Takeru non-committedly answered. 

“Teeks…” Taichi’s face scrunched up. 

“Hmm?” Takeru’s eyes slowly trailed to the older, different from the glance before, steadier.

“Don’t lie to me, please.” Taichi scooted slightly closer. 

“I fell. Believe it. It’ll make things easier for both of us.” Takeru sighed, shifting a hand down to play with fuzz on his slippers. His gaze held Taichi’s in a way that felt like he wasn’t really seeing anything, just mimicking the action of sight. 

“Easy isn’t always for the best.” Taichi slowly moved a hand to place on his shoulder. Takeru tensed under his touch but he didn’t move away just yet, trying to see if he’d eventually relax if he didn’t do anything else. Takeru’s eyes snapped away from him to face forward again.

The silence returned and Taichi let it, waiting with as much patience as he could muster so he could do Takeru right. Taichi watched his shoulders instead, he jolted and moved his hand on Takeru’s shoulder to grab the blond’s hand instead and forcefully pull it away. “You’re bleeding.” 

“Where?” Takeru slowly looked back at Taichi. 

Taichi glared at his arm, “Okay not, bleeding bleeding, but it looks like it.” Taichi sighed, other hand coming to rub at the deep set nail marks Takeru had managed to dent into his skin. His grip on his hand tightened with a gentle squeeze. “Please, Takeru, don’t lie to me.” 

Takeru blinked and looked forward. “I already took care of the worst of it. I just needed something to focus on outside of… them,” Takeru’s voice got quieter, filled with shame, “and myself…” He trailed off with the last admission, body coiling around itself more, only kept slightly open thanks to Taichi’s grip on his left hand. 

“TK, what do you mean by the worst of it?” Taichi asked, clear and careful, barely above a whisper but stern enough to leave no room for evasion.

Takeru sighed, body loosening with clear deliberate effort as Takeru uncrossed his right arm, revealing his hand with a big bandaid patch stuck from the back of his hand to his palm at the base of his thumb. 

Taichi didn’t spare a moment before his hands were leaving Takeru’s right arm and left hand and both grabbing Takeru’s right hand. He regretted doing so when he saw and felt the following body flinch Takeru expressed. “What did you do?” His tone was lined with panicked worry. 

Takeru looked away, tears pricking at his eyes and heart starting to speed back up into an unstable and fast tempo, he had just gotten it all to stop. Now he couldn’t, because Taichi was right there. He was right there and now Takeru had no way to get this all to stop. Taichi’s tone was distorted and it sounded pissed, of course it did. Takeru attempted to reason with the panic in his head that it was just his imagination, that Taichi was just worried, not mad, but the reason did nothing to shut down the irrational. 

“TK.” Taichi tried to get the blond’s attention. Takeru had shifted so his body and head were faced away from him, his hand still in Taichi’s hold while his left arm was back at the left side of his body, supporting his weight in the awkward turn away he was in. “Teeks, look at me.” Taichi tried again.

“Fuck.” Takeru panted out, seemingly unaware he’d said it out loud.

“Teeks, hey,” Taichi shifted onto his knees, trying to crawl closer to get Takeru to look at him. “Hey, come on, it’s okay, I need you to breathe okay?” Taichi tried to pull his attention, still failing.

The sound of nails scraping rock brought Taichi’s attention to Takeru’s left hand trying to dig its grasp into the rock below. It had to at least be uncomfortable, and more than likely hurt. “Hey come on, what…” Taichi trailed off trying to think. He tensed as things clicked slightly. Taichi let go of Takeru and scooted slightly back, too worried to will himself any further from him. “You’re not in trouble. I didn’t mean to sound upset, I’m just worried. I’m not mad.”

Taichi meant it when he said he’d rather see Takeru have a breakdown than be a complete husk, but he wasn’t prepared to actually see or deal with it. 

Takeru’s breath hitched, the small quiet pants became clear gasps for air. The blond pulled his right arm to his chest, somewhat protective over the limb. 

Taichi wanted to hug him, but he stopped himself and scolded himself. Him rushingly touching the blond is what set this off, well that and him letting his emotions get the best of him. He felt useless as he watched Takeru sob to himself, his hands clutching into fists. Taichi couldn’t do anything. He looked down at his own hands, trying to think of anything he could do to help without risk of making this worse.

Taichi flinched when he heard the familiar thump of skin hitting skin. Taichi’s eyes darted to Takeru, the blond had his knees bent and pressing into his eyes, left hand holding a death grip onto his own ankle as his right hit into his calf and thigh. It started off light, but was clearly growing in force.

Taichi didn’t really care if he made it worse, he wasn’t gonna let Takeru hit himself. The older reached for his wrist but stopped short at the horrible realization that Takeru’s panic was dying down slightly. 

This wasn’t good. 

This was not good. 

Still Taichi stayed with his hand hovering. He winced when he saw the blond hit an already forming bruise, and that was the last straw for him. “TK…please. That’s enough. Stop.” He willed himself to speak as even toned as possible.

Takeru’s short breaths stopped, the blond seemingly refocusing on his surroundings slowly. 

“I’m sorry, if it’s helping, but you can’t keep doing that, once or twice as a small thing out of frustration, fine. I mean I’ve done that before, the world is a lot sometimes, but you’re bruising bud.” Taichi leaned closer, “I’m gonna grab your wrist okay?” Taichi waited, but wasn’t given a response, “Hey, come on, breath bud.” Taichi's fingers brushed Takeru’s wrist, the right arm was pulled back to be caged in between Takeru’s chest and knees. “Okay. That’s okay. Come on, I need to hear you breathing.” Taichi sat back, getting the message that if he pushed matters further in the physical comfort area it’d get uglier than it already was. 

Takeru let out a stuttered breath mixed with a sob, the world wasn’t spinning out of control as much as before and the dull ache in his leg was giving him something to feel and focus on that wasn’t the overwhelming thoughts in his head and emotions he couldn’t manage to process. 

He hated crying, he hated being loud when he did even more. 

He wanted Patamon. He wanted to be under the covers sleeping with his brother after forcing him to let him read to Yamato to sleep.

His right hand raised to his mouth to muffle his cries, he mentally talked himself down from biting down on the bandaid.

“TK?”

Taichi’s voice cut through the remaining fog. 

A different kind of panic shot through the blond. “Don’t tell Matt. Please. Please. Please. It’s only ever happened like one other time. Usually it’s just a few scratches that go away in an hour. I just—”

“Hey, hey, listen,” Taichi put his hands to hover over the younger’s shoulders. “First let's get you calmed down fully, okay? Then we need to talk about all this, what happened before you came here, everything you’ve done before I arrived, and what you want to do going forward in the short term. If you can do all of that for me then I’ll hear you out in trying to convince me to not tell Yamato.” Taichi held Takeru’s wide tear filled stare with as much steadiness as he could.

He knew he should tell Yamato and chances are he probably would end up getting Takeru to sit down with him and Yamato while he did the talking. Chances were if that was the case then he’d be doing it a week or two from now so he could make sure Yamato was in a good mood and relatively stable mindset. He didn’t want to make things harder for Yamato or Takeru. 

“First things first, let’s do this correctly this time, yeah?” Taichi gave a small smile and laughed at his own expense, “I need you to tell me everything I did that freaked you out, okay? You don’t have to explain why, I just need to know okay?” Taichi tilted further into Takeru’s space, still careful not to touch him. 

“Then what?” Takeru looked away, and Taichi accepted it. 

“Then I want you to tell me what you need from me right now. Just one thing at least okay, and if anything else comes up you tell me, whether it's something you want me to do or something you want me to stop doing. It doesn’t matter what it is, even if it’s something you told me to do that you suddenly are bothered by or something you told me not to do that you suddenly want, it doesn’t matter.” Taichi moved one hand to hover over the blond’s cheek. “I just want you to talk to me okay.” 

Takeru took in a shaky breath, leaning forward in show of his acceptance. Taichi hesitated but eventually started wiping away the tears falling from his eyes again, he didn’t want to push again.

By the time they were leaving the digital world, the sunrise still hadn’t started, which Taichi counted as a win. 

Chapter Text

This was the worst. 

Which was saying something considering everything that was his life.

Koushiro breathed into the pillow he was currently wrapped around, attempting to mentally ease his own pain. 

He felt like he was on the verge of death. 

Which is a bit dramatic for his normal tastes, but here he is, being dramatic in his own head. 

His mom had gone to the pharmacy to pick up medicine, but they lived relatively far and his father had taken the car to work. Which all meant he'd be by himself for the next hour at least. 

His mouth was tingling right along with his throat, the only comfort he had to be laying in bed was the fact he had already emptied his stomach three times about 3 hours after dinner. 

Koushiro curled into himself more, groaning as he cradled himself. He had already turned the light off and his mom, the angel she was, had turned the AC on high and turned a fan to him. He was still sweating but it was better than nothing. 

If anyone was asked to describe Koushiro's room normally the word repeated would be neat, but now that description doesn't really match. Sure it was only really dirty by the account of his blankets being kicked off his bed and a couple of Gatorade bottles lying here and there. Well his desk was also a bit messy from this week's digital crisis requiring him to pull a few all nighters, but his desk was normally the messy exception to his otherwise tidy room. 

Koushiro wasn’t falling asleep, the pain meds had staved off some of the hot flash he was experiencing but weren’t actually strong enough to do anything. 

His mother would be home eventually. 

Which was really the only hope he had to hold onto. Koushiro raised a hand to cover his mouth as he felt the ghost of non-exsistent bile attempt to rise. He turned onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He’s been thrown off his fair share of high places, bruises from hitting the ground weren’t uncommon and neither were a week’s long lingering soreness, this was worse somehow. 

His only sources of comfort currently was the pillow under his head, the occasional nice gust of air from his fan that hit just right but wasn’t constant, and his own logical breakdown of the events transpiring before he started upchucking his stomach and dying. Running through the events and trying to find the source was helping keep his mind occupied, plus once he finished his conclusion he could make sure never to repeat it. 

There was a distant knock on the main door, but he didn’t really feel like getting up to answer it. 

It was probably just someone dropping off a package him or his dad ordered. 

His phone ringing stole his attention. He picked it up and looked at the caller ID. 

Koushiro groaned, he didn’t remember asking Taichi to come over. He rolled out of bed, pausing to let out a long exhale, trying to ease his headache. He didn’t bother answering the phone, Taichi would just be waiting outside anyway. 

It seemed like the largest task imaginable as he made his way to the front door to open it, but it was relatively quick in reality. He opened the door and squinted at the larger male. 

“Oh, wow, you look like shit.” Taichi blatantly stated as he took in Koushiro’s appearance. 

“Gee, thanks,” Koushiro frowned, closing his eyes as he looked to the ground, “Food poisoning, I think it was the tuna from last night.”

“Yeah, I heard. Your mom called mine to ask if I could come and check on you.” Taichi shrugged, inviting himself in. Koushiro closed the door and locked it once more. 

“Thanks, I’m fine though, it’ll pass.” Koushiro reasoned out loud, no matter how dramatic he was being internally he refused to let his figurative death be visible. 

Taichi gave a small huff before he offered a smile and placed a palm on Koushiro’s temple. Koushiro flinched away from the contact before melting into it. Taichi was overwhelmingly warm but the touch spread enough comfort that the added heat was worth it. 

“Your mom said she had to go to a different pharmacy farther out, the one close by didn’t have the right stuff or something.” Taichi informed, “She was worried when you weren’t answering her calls but figured you were asleep.” 

“Ah,” Koushiro became much more alert at that, rushing back to his room to check his phone, low and behold he had four missed calls from his mother. He immediately went to start texting her that he was fine. 

“Yamato’s coming over by the way.” Taichi stood at his doorway. “He was coming over to help me with my chemistry lab report but then my mom told me to come check on you so I texted to cancel and well…” 

“Please tell me he’s at least bringing over soup.” Koushiro flopped back into bed, not too concerned with being any sort of put together, Taichi has seen him worse than this. He wasn’t particularly interested in eating right now, but once his stomach stopped hurting and his throat stopped feeling thick then he’d be starving. 

“Pretty sure he is, I’ll double check though.” Taichi laughed, coming into Koushiro’s room and picking up a few of the scatter bottles as well as the oolong tea cans on his desk. “I would be prepared for him to bring a doctor too though. Maybe a mom as well.” Taichi snickered to himself. 

Koushiro groaned into his pillow, “He was with Jou wasn’t he.” 

“Yup.”

“Sora was with them too?” 

“Mhm.”

Koushiro lifted his head and looked at the older male, he plopped his head back down with a sigh. He heard Taichi snicker before leaving his room to grab a glass of water. 

As annoyed as he was when he heard Taichi knock, he was thankful for the brunette bringing him water and a wet cloth. It was nice to receive the same care and attention he’s seen Taichi give to Hikari some many times. 

When he heard Yamato, Sora and Jou all trickle into his house that same irritation to just want to be left alone to lay in misery came back. It was drowned out so easily when only Jou came into his room, the other three staying away and giving him space. 

Jou took his temperature and asked what his mom had already given him and at what time. As much as he didn’t want to, he still sat up and replied to all of the doctor-to-be's questions with as much accuracy and detail as he could muster. Jou ended up giving him two pills, a basic pain killer/fever reducer and one specifically catered to settling stomach aches. The fever reducer actually managed to make him groggy enough to sleep. 

By the time he woke up it was to his mother checking his temperature. 

“Hey, honey, how are you feeling?” His mother gave him a light smile. 

Koushiro sat up slowly, “Better than before but still not at a hundred.” Koushiro looked at his hands, thoughts wandering towards spiralling regret at not properly thanking his four friends for coming over to check up on him before they left. 

“Yeah, I figured.” His mother hummed quietly, brushing his face as if his hair was in it, though his hair was currently too short for that. “You have some pretty nice friends, you know that?” Her gaze drifted to Koushiro’s shut door. 

“Yeah… I should text them…” Koushiro muttered to himself, hand drifting to his phone that had somehow ended up under his pillow. 

“No need, they’re still outside. Taichi’s working on home work with Jou(?) and the other two, Yamato and Sora(?), are making some homemade soup, it’ll be easy on your stomach.” His mother stood up. “I told them it would be fine, but they insisted, so I caved. You can eat in your room if you want to though, sweetheart, there’s no need to come out.” 

Koushiro gave a small hum, “No, I think I’m okay to eat at the table. Father home yet?”

He was dying a little bit still but, he was glad he at least wouldn’t be alone while doing so. 

Chapter Text

“Okay, ease up on the gas and start pressing on the brake.” The car came to a halt with a rough jerk. “Yeah. Not like that.” Takeru caught himself with his hands on the dash before he sent a look over to Daisuke. 

“Oh I’m sorry, be more specific!” Daisuke groaned, hands tightening around the wheel.

“We aren’t even out of the parking lot yet.” Takeru smirked at him, teasing. 

“Shut up, you had Matt teach you, you know, the guy that’s had a license for a long time. Your ass just got yours what a year ago.” Daisuke huffed, foot pressed on the brake pedal with way too much force, trying to prevent the car from moving another inch.

Takeru considered for about a second admitting to having done the same when he was first learning but decided Daisuke wasn’t actually hurt by his teasing. That’s probably what made it so easy for him, well easier. Takeru naturally gravitated to messing with people but targeting Daisuke seemed to just snap most of his normal filters. It took a while for him to even realize his playful teasing towards Daisuke was equivalent to what he usually regarded as straight up rude towards others. 

“You have to go slow with it.” The blond landed on just continuing to instruct the other. “Try again, this time don’t slam on the brakes. It can fuck them up.”

“Gee thanks.” Daisuke huffed, slowly lifting his foot from the brake and letting the car go forward. He wouldn’t consider himself an anxious person, no Ken had enough anxiety for the both of them, but this was freaking him out a little. 

Behind the wheel for the first time was terrifying.

He knew what everything did, he took the paper test, got his learners, had heard plenty of tips but theory and practice were two different things. That’s not even considering all the things no one ever actually sat down and explained, like how to find the middle of the car while driving. He was glad he had Takeru to help, not that he would tell the blond that. 

Takeru was patient with him, even with all of his teasing and the slightly annoyingly snide tone in his voice. He trusted the blond to actually teach him, and so far that had been the case. 

Even if he didn’t want Takeru as his help, he didn’t really have any other choice. Neither his mom or dad had a car or license. Jun had a license but he’d eat poison ivy before asking for her help, she’d never let him live it down. So that left asking friends for help.

The only ones with drivers licenses were Yamato, Sora, Mimi, Miyako and Takeru. Well Taichi could drive but he never got his license. He wasn’t too close with Yamato and even if he was, the guy was in California for college. Sora didn’t own a car, nor was he particularly close enough to her to be in a car alone with her. Mimi lives in America.

So his options are narrowed down to Takeru and Miyako. Miyako would frustrate him more than Takeru… plus she’s touring England for the week to decide if she was going to go into the foreign exchange program there. 

Daisuke turned to officially restart his circling of the empty parking lot. He was only going 8 kph, Takeru being very clear to deny him pressing on the gas pedal until he could properly brake at least three times in a row. 

“Almost, you’re jerking the wheel when you turn to try and straighten.” Takeru noted, kicking off his shoes to put his feet up. His position looked uncomfortable as hell but felt more comfortable and relaxing than sitting normally. 

Daisuke’s eyes narrowed, coming up to the next spot that was supposed to be his imaginary stop light. He’d get one of these stops. 

The car slowed, only jerking towards the end when Daisuke noticed he was about to slightly pass the stopping point. 

“Almost,” Takeru mumbled, eyes trailing towards Daisuke. He thought back to when his dad had started teaching him, Yamato had taken over sure, but the parking lot drives started with his father’s encouragement. “Next time keep it consistent to stop without the jerking, if we pass the point it’s fine. Get the braking down first so you can get an idea of when to start stopping so you actually stop where you want.” 

“So you’re not gonna give me shit for going past?” Daisuke snarked, but still gave a nod and slowly lifted his foot off the brake to go forward and turn.

Takeru smirked in response, looking out the window to double check the off chance a car was coming into the parking lot, “And now you’ve ran a red light.” 

“What!?” Daisuke turned his head to the blond before quickly looking back forward and slowly pressing on the brake. 

“I didn’t say the light turned green now did I?” Takeru turned to him, a playful glint in his eyes and a wide grin. 

“You’re an asshole.” Daisuke turned to him after the car came to a full stop. 

The playful glint disappeared and the grin was replaced with a softer smile. “Good job.”

“Hmm?” Daisuke blinked.

“But also this one's a stop sign not a light, you don’t have to wait longer than 3 seconds if there isn’t any traffic coming.” Takeru turned to face forward. 

Daisuke realised then that the car hadn’t jerked at the stop, a sense of self pride warmed his chest but he didn’t let it show just yet, determined to succeed again before actually celebrating the small step. He slowly released the brake to make the left turn. 

“Okay, I see the problem.” Takeru mumbled, watching Daisuke’s hands on the wheel. “You over-corrected again, you’re hitting all the cars on this side.” Takeru pronounced, causing a frown to grow on Daisuke’s face out of frustration. 

Daisuke stopped at their next designated imaginary stop light. 

“Good.” Takeru noted out loud, happy to not be lurched into the dash. He unbuckled his seatbelt and shifted in his seat to face Daisuke, one knee up to his chest the other resting in a half criss-cross manner. 

Daisuke took the removal of his seat belt as a sign to put the car in park. 

“When you turn the wheel goes around twice right?” Takeru started to explain. 

“Yeah?” Daisuke tilted his head, absent mindedly turning the wheel as a test. 

“What you’re doing to turn right now is more so for a complete U-turn or like a really sharp or awkward turn.” Takeru put his hands in front of himself to mimic the action of holding a steering wheel. 

“This is probably the downside of watching people who have been driving for a while,” Takeru let out a small laugh, “You’re trying to copy what you see, which is helpful, but first you got to feel how to properly take a turn the “text-book” way.” Takeru added the quotations with an eye roll. “So instead of trying to turn like this,” he demonstrated on his imaginary wheel of crossing his hand over the other to turn. “Start off turning the wheel with one hand and let the other just drag over.” Takeru demonstrated again on his make believe wheel.

Daisuke mimicked the action on the actual wheel, pulling with one hand and just letting the other glide towards the bottom.

“Then switch to pulling with the other hand and gliding to the top with the other.” Takeru smiled at the other’s clear determination to get this right.

Daisuke did as instructed, the movement felt smoother to do then hand-over-hand but felt awkward. 

“And now, instead of manually turning to go back to straight, just let it slide.” Takeru opened his hands to show his palms. “Don’t actually let go of the steering wheel.” He noted. 

Takeru lowered his arms, tilting his head with a smile. “Does that make sense?”  

“Yeah, it actually does.” Daisuke turned and smiled at him back.

Takeru and Daisuke both faced forward, smiles fading to neutral. A sense of weirdness passed through their silence. 

They were friends sure, had been for almost eight whole years now, but they never really hung out just the two of them, with a few exceptions here and there. Their dynamic was built off of playful remarks, snide comments and an understanding that, without ever letting the other actually see it, they respected and admired each other. That part of never letting the other see it was the main issue. 

Takeru shifted to sit forward but didn’t move to click his seat belt in place. “Okay try again, then.”

“Not gonna buckle up?” Daisuke pressed his foot back on the brake, hand moving to the gearstick but not putting the car in drive yet.

“Are you planning on crashing?” Takeru raised a brow, “Cause if you are, please don’t. This is technically my mom’s car.”

“Your mom doesn’t have a driver’s license…” Daisuke looked over at Takeru with confusion.

“Yeah but she and my dad agreed he’d make the down payment, and her name would go on the title because she’d make the payments until I get a decent job.” Takeru shrugged. “We’ll switch who’s name is on the title when that happens, until then,” Takeru gestured in front of him in show, “technically her car.” 

“You’re lucky I like your mom.” Daisuke sighed, joking with a slight smirk.

“Mhm.” Takeru hummed. 

Daisuke put the car in drive and began trying his skill with stopping smoothly. His turning was more awkward than before, sometimes swerving the car to switch from hand-over-hand to hand-to-hand every time he realised he was falling back into the habit. 

By the third circle around the parking lot he finally managed to condition himself out of the hand-over-hand method of turning he’d observed practically everyone he’s ever seen drive do. 

“Almost.” Takeru stifled a laugh at the frustrated puff of Daisuke’s cheeks, his stops had improved a lot but the car jerked still every third stop it seemed. 

“Ughhh, come on, that one was like the tiniest thing.” Daisuke groaned, leaning forward but not quite hitting his head against the wheel. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Takeru rolled his eyes with a smirk. “Do one more lap, then we have to go.” 

“Hmm?” Daisuke looked over at the time. They’d been at this parking lot for almost 2 hours already. 

“I have to stop by my dad’s place, he’s out of town and Matt accidentally ordered a package there instead of his dorm.” Takeru yawned, “Want me to drop you off before or after?” 

“Before, I’m in charge of dinner tonight.” Daisuke began his last lap.

“Good, you have a green light.” Takeru continued his verbal comments, a mixture of encouragement and criticism. “Almost.”

“There wasn’t any jerking.” Daisuke frowned.

“Yeah, but you passed your stop sign.” Takeru smirked. 

Daisuke groaned, completing his last turn before putting the car in park.

“So, how’s it feeling?” Takeru asked after closing the driver seat door.

“Fine.” Daisuke shrugged. 

Takeru accepted the answer, buckling his seat belt and putting the car in drive after making sure Daisuke did the same. 

“I never asked, why the sudden interest in learning how to drive?” Takeru questioned in a mumble as he pulled out of the parking lot. They were surrounded by a couple of office buildings and an apartment complex, and while the roads nearby were decently busy the parking lot they had been using was practically always empty. 

“...” Daisuke hummed for a moment, trying to fill the silence. “I…umm… Mimi always complains about how it's impossible to get around without a car in most states…” 

Takeru pulled to a stop at an intersection, light freshly red. “Oh… what school are you looking at?”

Daisuke cleared his throat, “JWU… uh Johnson and Wales University… It's a good culinary school from what I’ve been able to look up and my english is decent enough. I haven’t told anyone yet. Well, except for Taichi and Ken, but that’s mostly because they helped me look into it.” 

“That’s great, have you looked into when applications for the exchange program open up?” Takeru watched the light turn green, he waited a moment for any stragglers to speed by and run the red light before pressing forward on the gas to take the left turn. 

“Not yet, I’m still trying to figure out the whole get my basics done at home or not thing and also figure out financial situation and all.” Daisuke gave his answer with a shrug and a tone of being unsure. 

Takeru nodded, turning the radio volume on and continuing the drive towards Daisuke’s place. They came to a stop at another intersection and waited with just the music playing. Takeru debated whether or not to note some tips for intersections to Daisuke but chose not to as he didn’t want to just speak information that would just be repeated later on. 

The light turned green and Takeru waited with slight annoyment as the car in front of him didn’t seem to see the green light. “Don’t text and drive, asshole.” He muttered under his breath, sighing once the car finally started moving forward.

Despite the music playing, Daisuke was able to catch the muttered contemptuous comment. He gave a small snicker and turned his head to the blond to comment on it. 

“Shi-”

Before Daisuke could even warn Takeru of the car speeding at them the blond had already hit the gas to avoid the collision. 

But even so, the on coming car slammed into their rear sending them into a spin in the way of turning lane, another car swerving to avoid them as their car tipped onto its side, passenger side door towards the ground. 

“Are you okay?’ Takeru immediately gasped out in between his own panicked breaths. 

Daisuke winced as he pushed away the air bag that had hit him. “Bruised to hell and back but other than that just peachy.”

“What the hell was that!?” There was a woman screaming outside the car, the guy of the other vehicle standing in front of their windshield with his hands on his head.

“I- I couldn’t stop, I didn’t mean to!” The guy was crying, walking in circles, his walking was unbalanced and his speech made it clear he was drunk stupid. The man started shaking his head and running back to his car, the front was dented in but still seemed in okay enough condition. 

“Fuck. Okay… can you move?” Takeru pushed his own air bag out of the way more, everything hurt but the smoking from the hood didn’t seem like a good idea to chance staying in the car until proper officers made it. He put the car in park after checking that the wheels were in fact still moving and reached to unbuckle himself holding onto the grab handle to stabilize himself as well as using the console to place his legs.

“Yeah, yeah I can.” Daisuke went to reach for his seatbelt, but it was stuck. “Damn thing won’t unbuckle.”

“Shit.” Takeru muttered, “There’s a seatbelt cutter in here, hold on.” Takeru opened his middle console, digging through it awkwardly at the angle he was in, his shoulder was already killing him but hanging on it to make sure he didn’t topple into Daisuke was an absolute death sentence. 

“Hold on, I think I see it.” Daisuke muttered, reaching for it to grab after Takeru moved his right hand out of the way. 

“Shit. Shit. Shit. Don’t Unbuck-”

Daisuke startled at Takeru’s sudden urgency but before he could truly question it and before Takeru could even finish his warning, the car was slammed into a second time, turning them onto the roof. The drunk driver apparently hadn’t wanted to stay at the scene, and the woman from before let out a scream as she narrowly avoided getting hit. The man hadn’t just hit them but also caught enough speed to drive over their underbelly as well, causing it to concave a bit. 

Daisuke groaned, leg bursting with pain at the awkward angle it had ended up in, he could see a bit of blood but it didn’t feel broken. “Oww, fucking asshole. Shit.” Daisuke raised, or rather lowered, a hand to wipe at the pain filled tears forming, trying to clear his own vision. He was pretty unsuccessful as they built up and blurred his vision. “Fuck. TK?” Daisuke called out, breath picking up as he caught sight of a blurry blob of color that was closest to representing what colors Takeru had worn that day, except there was too much red and black. 

Black?

Daisuke coughed as his breath became more panicked and tried in vain to find the seatbelt cutter. His vision filled with more black spots until everything faded into that fuzzy black. 

“Thank you so much for coming.” 

“Of course, I rushed over when I heard what happened.”

“Hey, dumbass, please wake up, okay?”

“My poor baby boy, please, please lord let him wake up.” 

“Hey there bud, they’re kicking us out soon, have a good night okay.” 

“Come on son, you’re scaring your mother.” 

Voices fade in and out, in the back of his head he can recognise them. His mother, Ken, Jun, his mother again, Taichi, and his dad. 

It was a bang of a door closing that finally rattled him awake. The room was a sterile white that immediately told him he was in a hospital room, which was… fine? He wasn’t excited about it and he definitely hated hospitals but it was better than in a coffin. 

Slowly he sat up, it was a struggle considering how much his entire body hurt, and a bit weird since it was apparent he hadn’t really moved for a while. “Ow, fuck.” He looked around with squinted eyes, head ache pounding at sunlight leaking in through the window. There wasn’t anyone in his room. 

That wasn’t too good of a sign considering it meant his parents and sister couldn’t afford to miss anymore work or school, which meant he’d been in here for at least three days. 

There was a sound of the toilet flushing and Daisuke turned to squint at the bathroom door, waiting. In the meantime he noticed he had been wrong about his leg and that judging based on the cast he definitely broke it. 

The door opened and swung back into place, Taichi emerging as he stretched towards the ceiling and yawned. He didn’t notice Daisuke staring at him and just turned to the door leading to the hallway.

Daisuke blinked and pursed his lips, “Wow, leaving me when I just woke up, how cruel.” 

Taichi startled, turning to face Daisuke on a dime. Daisuke frowned at the sound of his own voice, wrecked and groggy from not being used. Taichi didn’t seem to care in the slightest, immediately at the other’s bedside and leaning over to wrap him in a hug. 

“You’re awake, holy shit you’re awake.” Taichi squeezed ever so slightly, stopping immediately and backing away from Daisuke at the boy’s wince. “I’m so sorry, what hurts, shit I should call in a nurse or doctor or— Just wait here okay, I’ll be back.” And with that Taichi rushed out into the hallway to get someone to check Daisuke over. 

Taichi stood in the corner of his room tapping away at his phone while the nurse asked him a series of questions and looked him over. Daisuke figured once his parents, sister, Ken and Hikari arrived that he’d been notifying everyone. 

Daisuke found out he’d been unconscious for a little over a week, which sounded about right. 

His doctor came in eventually to report that he could go home after an overnight stay. He also recommended that Daisuke take at least a day or two to just rest at home before thinking about returning to school. 

“Well that’s good to hear.” Ken muttered into a sigh, sitting at the edge of his best friend’s hospital bed. 

Daisuke’s mother sat practically next to him, loosely hugging him the entire time of being there. Jun and his dad left a few minutes ago to start preparing dinner. Hikari was sat on the arm rest of the chair Taichi was sitting on. 

“It’s wonderful, I’ll make your favorite ramen tomorrow for you okay baby boy.” His mother squeezed him in close and planted a kiss on his forehead.  

“Thanks, mom.” Daisuke sighed out contently, normally he’d be embarrassed, but he was too tired to really care that his mom was paying him this much affection in front of his friends. 

The door to his room opened again, Iori and Miyako rushing in. 

“Davis is awake and you only now text!” Miyako half shrieked through gritted teeth. Hikari put her hands up in surrender, Ken leaned away. 

“Miyako shh, there are other patients.” Iori scolded lightly, closing the door behind him. “Excuse us barging in Mrs. Motomiya.”

“It’s no problem, dear. Honey, I’m gonna leave you with your friends now okay, I need to make sure your father and sister didn’t burn down our kitchen yet. Call me if you need anything, even in the middle of the night, okay?” She placed a big wet kiss onto his cheek before leaving. 

While Daisuke didn’t have the energy to be embarrassed he did have the energy to cringe. 

“Welp I’ll be back in a bit, I’m gonna go check on Matt.” Taichi got out of the chair, immediately putting a hand up towards Hikari. “Text me what you guys want to eat, like hell am I letting this guy eat hospital food.”

“Has—”

“No, not yet.” Hikari answered Iori’s question before it was fully voiced, she adjusted to slide down and take the seat Taichi was on previously. 

“What…” Daisuke tilted his head in confusion, then it hit him. “Is TK okay?! He—” 

“He’s fine.” Hikari interrupted his spiral. “At least that’s what I’ve been told.” She looked down at her hands. 

“What?” Daisuke’s nose scrunched up in question. 

“Taichi hasn’t let me see him other than the first day. I tried the second day but he dragged me all the way out to the sidewalk. I… I trust he’d tell me the truth, he’s been here 24/7 after security tried to drag Yamato out. Taichi convinced them to let them stay.” She gave a small laugh, “I think he just wants to only have to worry about Yamato right now, so he hasn’t let me go see him.”

“He hasn’t let any of us.” Miyako huffed, “I was ready to deck him until Hikari dragged me to go back to visiting with you.” 

“My mom and his talked and she said she’d rather keep it to only blood family,” Iori chimed in, “but his mom did tell mine that he was doing alright.” 

Daisuke looked down towards his lap. 

“Hey, I know my brother wouldn’t keep me away if he wasn’t sure I’d see Teeks up and health ever again.” Hikari’s voice broke towards the end of her reassurance, the thought alone of her best friend… dying, hurt. “What does everyone want to eat?” She shifted the topic. 

Two hours later Taichi arrived with plastic containers of some udo soup, and one miso with sushi for Miyako. 

Another hour later and Daisuke was alone in his hospital bed. He stared at the ceiling, trying to sleep away the clawing feeling in his chest.

If he hadn’t asked to go home before Takeru picked up Yamato’s packages they wouldn’t have been at that intersection. 

If he hadn’t asked Takeru to teach him how to drive that day, they wouldn’t be here now. 

If he hadn’t passed out he might have been able to get them both out and maybe things would at least be slightly better. 

If he had seen the car sooner and said something instead of being distracted with whatever. 

Daisuke let out a stuttered breath and wet tears rolling down his cheeks. This was stupid he shouldn’t blame himself, it was that stupid ass drunk fucker that had to gall to hit them a second time. The first hit would have been fine, some damage to the car, a few bruises and maybe a mild concussion, but both of them were talking to each other, they had both been fine. 

If his stupid seat belt hadn’t jammed then Takeru would have been able to get out instead of trying to help him get out, then he wouldn’t be hurt  and—

Daisuke sat up, wiping away his tears and telling his thoughts to screw off. He moved his leg carefully to the floor and grabbed the crutches placed besides his bed so he could go to the restroom. He’d broken his leg in the past, a couple times actually so it wasn’t any problem using them to get up and out into the hallway. 

The nurse stationed for the night shift noticed him. “Is everything alright sir?” 

“I’m looking for my friend, Takashi Takeru.” Daisuke came up to the desk, “Please, I know visiting hours ended an hour ago, but I haven’t seen him since we both got here and I haven’t heard anything about his condition.” Daisuke let the tears swell up, hoping that would convince the nurse. 

The lady sighed, “If I make an acception—”

“Who else has asked in the last week?” Daisuke pleaded, “Please, just this once.”

“Oh, alright, give me the name again and I’ll look your friend up.” 

Daisuke hobbled with his crutches to the elevator, Takeru was apparently two floors higher than him and he definitely wouldn’t survive the stairs, though at this point he probably still would have taken them if the elevator denied him. 

Soon Daisuke was in front of the blond’s door, and he went about the very slow process of opening it quietly. He knew from what Hikari had said that Yamato and Taichi were in here, and he didn’t want to be scolded back to bed by Taichi without at least seeing Takeru. 

The soft snores coming from the two covered the sound of the machines Takeru was hooked up to. Nothing seemed too bad all things considered, it could be a lot worse, but that didn’t stop it from being devastating. Daisuke moved into the room and slowly dragged the stool in the corner of the room to Takeru’s bed. He was thankful Taichi was a heavy sleeper and that Yamato was sleep deprived enough.

Daisuke sat on it and sighed, leaning forward and resting his top half over the blond, tears started forming once more. 

“The doctor said he had no doubts he’d live.” 

Daisuke startled to look up. Yamato looked at him with this tired understanding. 

“I’m glad you’re okay. Sorry I didn’t go see you with Tai after he told me you were up.” Yamato whispered, reaching for a water bottle Taichi had most certainly provided him.

“No. I get it… I… Do you believe that?” Daisuke choked out, tears gathering again. 

Yamato sighed, face softening. Even if Daisuke and Takeru were old enough to be considered adults now, Yamato knew they were still kids. Him and Daisuke weren’t super close, but he still cared deeply for the little boy tearing up in front of him. Yamato got up from the chair he was in and scooted it across the floor to be next to Daisuke’s stool. “I know my brother ain’t gonna let this be the thing that kills him.” Yamato sighed, “This chair’s more comfy than the stool.” He gestured for Daisuke to sit on it instead. 

Daisuke hesitated but listened. 

“I’ll go out and tell the front desk you’re staying here tonight, that way they aren’t panicking in the morning.” Yamato patted him on the back and watched as Daisuke looked over at Taichi. “I’ll tell him it’s fine. He uh… I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing Hikari break down again or see me break down so that’s why he’s been kicking everyone out… I can see you need this though…” Yamato sighed. “I’ll be back in a minute.” 

Daisuke nodded, sinking his face into Takeru’s blankets again. 

If Yamato came back to hear Daisuke sobbing and muttering incoherent apologies that made no sense to anyone but himself, then neither of them mentioned it. 

And if after Daisuke’s mother finally cleared him to leave the house Daisuke continued to skip school to be waiting with Yamato then neither of them mentioned that either. 

Chapter Text

Even before the digital world became a factor of her life, before homeostasis crawled its way into her mind and under her skin, Hikari had always known things others hadn’t. 

Before the digital world, it was mostly simple things. Her keen observation skills allowed her to see things others didn’t. 

At least that’s how she always thought about it. 

The digital world has been a factor in her life for longer than she was ever consciously aware of. Did that mean homeostasis had been latched onto her since then? 

She didn’t know. Maybe she would never know. 

It didn’t really matter in the end. She knew she was different, not just different in the sense of being a digidestined or a chosen, but just in general was different. She could sense things, and she knew things in a way that she felt compulsion to speak of them but could never actually know.

When the digital gateways closed, she lost all contact with Tailmon, she knew that was the case. But there was something about it all, something about the way it all felt that told her she’d see her again. She didn’t know how, didn’t know when, but she knew she would. 

Taichi always took her seriously, well compared to everyone else, except for maybe Takeru. He’d look her in the eyes and nod, tell her that they would one day see them again and that even if they didn’t then they had their memories together. 

He was trying to reassure her, but she didn’t need reassurance. She was sad for how long it was taking, she wanted Tailmon in her bed curled at her feet and safe, but she didn’t need reassurance about it happening. 

Takeru believed her. She told him and he nodded, only asking if she was sure. When she said she was he just nodded, hiding his tears but not his smile. Maybe it was because they were the same age that he believed her so easily. 

It was a year after the gateways closed when she met Daisuke. The boy was energetic in a way that reminded her completely of her brother. She was friendly with him, they lived in the same building and Taichi seemed to get along with him a lot. 

She wasn’t too interested in spending time with him other than the occasional talk. 

Daisuke…

Hikari laid awake with this feeling in her chest, this feeling that felt so familiar to the digital world. She woke Taichi up that night. He was half asleep as he listened, nodding his head. 

He called Koushiro up. 

Nothing. 

No digital gateways had opened. 

But Hikari knew. She knew something felt digital. So she kept trying to reach out to it in the dead of the night. 

She found herself talking to Daisuke more than she had thought she would, but it made sense, somewhat. Taichi brought him over a couple of times, and she wasn’t going to be rude.

She told Takeru about the feeling over the phone, he didn’t deny her claims, just asked to be kept up to date, said he’d look out for anything where he was. 

The next year that feeling increased for a spark of a second. 

She was on a day trip with Takeru and his mom, the three of them were browsing through the mall. There was this pleasant buzz that felt so familiar to the digital world that constantly came off in waves from Takeru, it was nothing new, she knew it since they were seven, and he did too, she had told him as much. It was the same story for all the others too, this pulse of feeling like a compass pointing her to them. 

A mother and a boy passed them, blue-ish purple hair and a white button up and grey pants. 

Hikari paused in her walk, a buzz rushing through her screaming at her that the digital world was open. It wasn’t, she knew it wasn’t.

But it would be. 

She knew it would be. 

Takeru turned to her almost immediately, knowing by the look on her face. His mother was worried but he did them both the favor of just asking to spend the rest of the day at home, his mother abided by that wish. 

Hikari and Takeru exchanged looks and quiet words. Hikari could feel it but it wasn’t real. Maybe she was just placeboing herself all this time. Maybe she just kept believing the digital world was open because she wanted it to be.

She never felt like the digital world was open with the other digidestined, she could feel the waves of buzz ripple off them but it never gave her that same sense. 

The next year she met a nice girl that helped her when she got lost, the digital world felt open once more and she couldn’t explain it. She ended up wallowing to herself as she silently walked behind the purple haired girl. 

It never made sense.

The next year, Takeru moved. 

She knew his mother and him had been planning to for a while, and had been one of the only ones trusted with the surprise. 

When she saw him at school it happened again and she hated it. 

“You sure grew up.” Hikari smiled at her best friend, she’d seen him a few weeks ago when she went over to help him pack at his old apartment but she said it anyway. Takeru gave her her desired snicker.

Hikari could feel it, she could feel it but she was ignoring it. She hated this feeling, hated it so much. She knew something and she couldn’t tell what. 

Takeru continued his chatting with her, his eyes reading the message that Hikari was ignoring. He’d spare her from questioning it. 

It was later when Miyako rushed in with a message for her and Takeru that everything popped. 

She knew. 

She had always known. 

Takeru gave her a look, she gave him one back. 

Everything felt like a buzz. 

She’d always known when the digital world would open. 

There wasn’t a buzz that rippled off of Daisuke or Miyako like there was for Takeru but she could still feel something about them. Low and behold the four of them in one place is the time she gets the confirmation that she was right all along.

She didn’t know how she knew. 

She barely ever even knew what she knew. 

But she would always know that she knows things others just don’t, not in a convenient way that lets her change anything but in a way that she’d always know what was to come, even if she would never be able to put it to words.

The gateway opening confirmed that. 

She knew it for so long. 

So why didn’t she trust herself this time?

Why didn’t she listen to herself when every fiber of her being screamed at her?

Why did she let them go? 

She’d never be surprised.

That didn’t stop the sight of bloodied and mauled bodies in front of her from hurting.

She’d never be able to change what was to come. 

Chapter Text

After the hours of school, Yamato was happy to finally escape. His bandmates would likely abduct him into going to their guitarist’s, Yutaka’s, house to practice, but that was fine. They had a gig coming up and usually they’d get some type of treat before actually going to practice.

The sound of a whistle being blown rang loud through the air. 

Yamato stopped walking away from the school and turned towards it.

Akira, their drummer, looked back at him, taking in the odd face Yamato was making. “You good man?”

“You heard that whistle right?” Yamato looked back at all of them.

“Uh, yeah? It sounded like it came from the soccer field, why?” Yutaka tilted his head. 

Another long whistle screamed out, followed by shorter more urgent bursts. 

 Yamato took off in the direction of the soccer field. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” He called back behind him.

“Oh come! We were gonna get shakes man!” Akira called back, but the words didn’t reach the blond, leaving the three to sigh at the loss of their lead singer. “Second choice, like always.” 

Yamato wasn’t really sure why he was concerned, he should just go and get shakes with his friends and then go practice for a couple of hours. Yet despite that he kept running until he was at the soccer field. 

The coach was shouting some lecture at part of the team, Yamato wasn’t really paying attention he just scanned the area for a head of way too spikey brown hair. 

Then he saw him, sat on the field with three team mates surrounding him. 

Yamato approached not really caring if he got yelled at for walking onto the field and interrupting their practice, though practice already seemed interrupted enough he was sure he’d get away with it. He paused his march towards the four soccer players as he noticed the blood running down Taichi’s face. 

“The fuck happened?” Yamato closed the gap, slightly shoving his way in between two of the guys to actually be in front of his thick headed friend. 

“Matt? What are you doing here?” Taichi squinted at him, covering the bottom half of his face, blood running down the back of his hand from his nose. 

“I asked first.” Yamato frowned, eyes darting to the guys next to him, “Well?” 

The three boys shared a few looks, they were all more than aware of Yamato, the blond showed up to practically every game with Hikari and sometimes, when they could convince their mom, Takeru. That’s not even mentioning how often Taichi brought up the guy's name in conversations. The two of them were best friends, they knew that. “Uhh—” 

“Can you guys tell the coach I’m going to the nurse?” Taichi sighed, picking himself up off the dirt. Sparing them the challenge that was talking to a concerned, and therefore irritable, Yamato. 

“He told you to wait, Taichi…” One of them spoke up. 

“Yeah, I know. He can scold me later,” Taichi waved them off. The brunnette’s hand that wasn’t covering his face grabbed Yamato’s wrist, “You, come on.” 

Yamato let Taichi drag him off the field, the two of them reaching a silence as they entered the school and walked down the hallways. Eventually they ended up in front of the nurses office, which of course as their luck had it was empty. 

“Sit down, I’ll grab you an ice pack.” Yamato grumbled, finally jerking his wrist away from Taichi’s hold. He’s been in the nurse’s office enough times to know she kept the ice packs in the fridge behind her desk.

Taichi shrugged, not listening to the blond and grabbing a few paper towels to wipe away the blood leaking from his nose. He walked over to the small sink and turned it on to wet some of the paper towels. 

“So, you gonna tell me what the fuck happened?” Yamato spoke up, presenting the cold pack to Taichi. He cringed at the very obviously forming bruise against the brunette’s left cheek.

“It was a stupid fight, that’s all.” Taichi sighed, accepting the ice pack and wincing as he placed it against his bruised cheek. 

“You know, last I checked the roles seem pretty reversed right now.” Yamato hummed, leaning back against a wall as he watched Taichi flop onto one of the empty beds. “What was the fight about?” Yamato cocked his head. 

He’s been in enough tussles with Taichi to know that the brunette wasn’t actually one to start fist fights, he would argue a lot with people but he wasn’t really a punching type of person. That is as long as you didn’t throw a punch first, if you did then, well Taichi might not start fights but he does finish them.

There were of course exceptions to that, if whatever it was involved Hikari for example, or anyone else’s well being being threatened.  

Taichi tensed at the question. “It was something stupid, okay. I shouldn’t have let it provoke me but it did.” 

“Yeah, that sounds like something I’d do, not you.” Yamato pushed off of the wall and walked over the bed, sitting next to where Taichi was laying. “What was the stupid thing?” 

Taichi looked away from him. “This guy that transferred from a different school is on the baseball team now.” Taichi started to explain. “He uhh… He used to be on the soccer team at his old school.”

Yamato waited for Taichi to say more but when he was met with silence he tried to pry for more information. “And so you two know each other? And let me guess he hates your guts?”

“Yup.” Taichi groaned. 

“So what exactly did he say to provoke you?” Yamato inquired, leaning back on his hands and looking up at the ceiling. 

Taichi sighed, moving the ice pack off of his face and moving his jaw to stretch it out. It hurt a lot but it could be worse. “I’ll give the guy this, he does have a good swing with that damn bat.” Taichi let out a small laugh, earning him a look of absurdity from Yamato. 

“You got into a fight with a guy holding a bat? What were you thinking? That he wasn’t gonna hit you with it after you swung?” Yamato scoffed, face palming at the notion of taking a swing at someone with a literal weapon. 

“I wasn’t really thinking anything.” Taichi shrugged.

“Clearly dumbass. What the hell did he say for you to swing? You’ve been avoiding telling me this entire time.” Yamato lowered his hand, turning to look his best friend in the face. 

“I haven’t—” Taichi stopped, the glare Yamato was giving him bore into his skull. “He was just name calling okay. I know it’s stupid.”

“What did he say, Tai?” Yamato stated, firm once more. 

Taichi lifted his hands to cover his face, he groaned dramatically into them. “He just called me a fag okay. Happy?” 

“Seriously? You got hit in the face with a bat because a dude called you gay?” Yamato frowned, that didn’t sound right. “The amount of shit you’ve been called and gay is the limit?” 

“He didn’t call me gay, he said fag.” Taichi scoffed. “I know it’s stupid, just leave me alone about it okay. I already have to think how I’m gonna explain this to the team and my coach. I don't need my supposed best friend on my ass too.”

“I’m on your ass because I’m your best friend, the world knows no one else is gonna put up with your shit.” Yamato snarked back, standing up from the bed. “There’s something you’re not saying so say it.”

“You’re one to talk, I’m the one putting up with your shit more than the other way around.” Taichi laughed, trying to shift the conversation. 

“Yeah yeah, so?” Yamato rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he glared at the boy still laying down in front of him. 

“So what…?” Taichi feigned, laying his arm over his eyes. 

“So what’s the big deal that actually bothered you?” Yamato sighed, willing himself to not smack the already injured male. 

“I don’t know, okay? It just did.” Taichi sat up, finally meeting Yamato’s eyes. 

Yamato frowned. “Okay, faggot.” 

Taichi bristled, “What the hell?”

“I’m not taking a bullshit excuse, fag.” Yamato cringed internally when saying the word. He didn’t have any problem with people who liked the same gender. He never really even thought of saying the word ever, but if he needed to get a rise out of his friend then fine, it’s not like he was actually saying it to someone that was gay. It was just the two of them so it wasn’t particularly gonna do any harm. 

“Dude, shut the fuck up.” Taichi gripped the blanket under him, sending a glare Yamato’s way. 

“Not until you tell me what’s bothering you so much about being called a fag. It’s just a word, one that does even actually apply to you so get over it fa…” Yamato trailed off, the way Taichi’s eyes darted to the side catching his attention. “Taichi?”

“I don’t know, okay? Can you please just drop it?” Taichi ran a hand through his hair.

“Tai.” Yamato dropped his arms to his side. The blond sighed, walking over to the bed and sitting next to Taichi once more. 

The two sat in silence for a while. 

Taichi began picking at the skin around his nails, nerves growing at the fact his biggest secret was definitely just figured out. 

Yamato didn’t really know what to say. He never suspected Taichi wasn’t into girls, much less did he ever consider what he’d do if anyone he knew ever dropped this bomb on him. 

“Sorry.” Yamato mumbled out, breaking their silence. “Pretty shitty to call you, you know…” 

“It’s fine. You didn’t mean it as an insult… did you?” Taichi looked at Yamato in his peripheral vision. 

“Of course not.” Yamato sighed, “I was just trying to get a reaction.” Yamato bit his lip. “Which also should have been my first sign that that wasn’t a good course of action since it bothered you in the first place.” Yamato let out a small chuckle.

Taichi hummed in response, staring down at his feet. 

The two of them settled into another silence, still awkward, but better than before. 

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” Yamato finally broke the tension between them again. He was horrible at starting conversation but he needed to this time, he knew that. “I don’t think any differently of you. You’re still my best friend.” Yamato turned his head to face him, “I mean, if you still want to be?”

Taichi turned to him and nodded. “If you don’t have a problem with a fag as friend?”

“Don’t call yourself that.” Yamato sighed, wrapping an arm around Taichi’s shoulder. “I’d be pretty stupid to have a problem with you being gay, even stupider to end this friendship over that. Who else would put up with my shit?” Yamato smirked at the teen. 

Taichi scoffed and elbowed him lightly, “Yeah, I mean where else are you gonna find someone that still wants to be your friend after you tried to legit kill them once?” 

Yamato groaned, “Dude, you are never letting me live that down huh? We were like 11.”

“12 actually.” Taichi snickered. 

The two fell into another silence, this one much more comfortable than the last. 

Taichi might not be ready to admit it out loud and proud just yet, but it was nice to know his best friend wasn’t gonna ditch him. Then again he should have known as much considering Yamato held his friends very close. 

“What was the guy's name by the way?”

“Why?”

“No reason, just curious.”

“Do not go and beat him up dude.”

“He hit you with a bat!”

“Matt.”

Yeah, he didn’t have to worry about losing his best friend. Everyone else he could worry about when the time came.